Find It Online [Published] Christmas 2015

ADHD in Kids

WIN a $100 Coles Myer Gift Card

Does diet really have an effect?

Bullying In Our Schools A problem we all need to combat together

See page 47

www.finditonline.net.au

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dear friends 13

Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year and whilst I’m not a baker, I will be still cooking away in the kitchen for my family, and I’m sure you will be too. We can sometimes get caught up in the hype of Christmas, so please don’t forget to enjoy time with your loved ones. Life is short and precious so take time to smell the roses, photograph your child smiling in the sun and give yourself five minutes to just...sit!

I’m honoured to be able to bring this e-mag back to you and let you see the great talent we have in micro/small businesses right across Australia. I have hunted down some of the best Christmas gift ideas and services that can benefit you and your family this silly season.

I hope you love the magazine and everything it brings as much as I loved creating it for you.

If you love the magazine, we encourage you to SHARE it with your family and friends and LIKE us on Facebook.

From my family to yours, have a Safe and Merry Christmas and New Year.

Mel xx 3

Issue 1 - December 2015 Editor - Melissa Smith Design Team: Melissa Smith Letters to the Editor & Submissions: enquiries@finditonline.net.au or via post PO Box 2044 Seville Grove WA 6112 Advertising – Email enquiries@finditonline.net.au if you are interested in advertising or visit our website and pay online. Enter code FB40 at the checkout to receive a 40% discount.

© 2008 – 2015 Find It Online Australia All Rights Reserved. No part of this magazine may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of copyright owner. All images contained here within have been reproduced with the knowledge and prior consent of the artists concerned and no responsibility is accepted by the publisher, PDWP, for any infringement of copyright or otherwise arising from the contents of this publication.

Acknowledgements Recipes Small Business Resources Sage Roasted Potatoes Business.gov.au Pork Loin with Pork Scratchings and Cider Gravy Sticky Caramel Ham Crafts Parenting.com Christmas Traditions Traditions seen on Brisbane Kids website

Bullying Article Maggie Dent 4

CONTENTS 1

Dear Friends

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Home Bases Business; Is it for you? Part 1

10 Christmas Traditions: Do you have traditions in your household?

13 ADHD IN KIDS: Does diet really have an effect?

17 Christmas Recipes 30 Fun Christmas Crafts 36 Bullying In Our Schools; A Different Perspective 41 Christmas Gift Guide 46 MummyDesking; How to get work done and be a good mother 49 Rock My World Upside Down: Part 1 50 Get To Know

51 Business Listings

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Home Based Business Is it for you?

Home based businesses are a large part of the Australian business community, with nearly one million people running a business from home. Working from home can offer flexibility and convenience, and can often be a great opportunity to start a new career.

If you're thinking of starting a home-based business or are currently running one, you can maximise your chance of success by ensuring that you understand the risks and government requirements that apply to you.

These include taxation, employment, business finances, insurance for home-based businesses, council approval and licensing requirements.

Operating a small business is not just about working for yourself, it's also about having the necessary management skills, industry expertise, technical skills, finance, and a long-term vision to grow and succeed.

Things to consider before starting a home-based business A successful home business requires an owner who is able to handle a wide variety of issues. In many cases, identical home-based businesses can have different levels of success due to different approaches to planning. By thinking through the establishment of your business carefully and taking the time to research and plan your operations, you can create a competitive advantage while also helping secure the future of your business.

If you're starting a home business, developing a thorough business plan is the best place to begin. To develop your business plan, you need to consider these points about operating from home: Is your home the best location for your business?

Can you conduct the type of business you want under local council regulations?

What are your legal obligations?

Will your home-based business allow you to balance your work and family life?

What are the town planning requirements of your local government authority?

Don't be afraid to ask yourself hard questions about your business. It's much easier to plan for the future than to react to the unexpected.

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Taking the first steps and getting advice When you're taking the first steps in starting up a home-based business, take a look at the wide range of government advice and support available. Most state and territory governments provide home-based business kits and fact sheets, which are great for establishing the foundations of your business.

You can access a range of advisory services from the Australian Government. Use Advisor Finder to get in touch with your nearest business advisor service.

Networking is also an important way to keep up-todate with business trends and to create business opportunities and relationships. If you're operating a business from home, consider joining a business association, check newspapers and business publications, and search our Event Finder to find events relevant to your business.

As well as advice and support from government and those within your network, you should also consider consulting an experienced business adviser, accountant or bank manager. These business advisors are valuable as they may be able to share the experiences of others and provide guidance to you when making important decisions.

Meeting government requirement and regulations Like all businesses, home-based businesses need to register for business and company names, taxation, and other business licences and permits. Using your home as a place of business may also mean complying with particular state, territory and local government regulations.

The impact of your business activities on the surrounding residential area, particularly pollution, energy use and parking, can all require special permission. Depending on your type of business, you may need special permits relating to zoning, signage, noise levels or health issues.

Stay tuned for the next issue when we bring Part 2, ‘Starting a Home Based Business. Are you ready?

This information has been sourced for you from the business.gov.au website. All links are supplied by Find It Online.

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Art Meditation Therapy Colouring Pages for Adults Click to download and print

1. Lion

2. Sacred Vine

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3. Buddha

4. Mystical Mandala 9

Christmas Traditions Do you have traditions in your household?

Whether you put your Christmas Tree up on December 1 or sing Christmas Carols around the piano...it’s a tradition, and every family has a tradition or two they repeat annually at Christmas time.

Christmas is a special time of year that brings families together, puts disputes and quarrels to an end for a day and gives us the joy of children’s smiles when they open their presents. Usually, all hatred and anger is dissolved at Christmas time and everyone can enjoy time with their loved ones.

Christmas Traditions are generally passed from one generation to another or new ones are created each year...Why? Because they can.

We have one tradition in our household and it’s what I remember from my childhood years. The Christmas Tree goes up on December 1 and comes down January 1. Apart from the kids putting out milk and cookies for Santa, we don’t really have many other traditions and as my children are growing out of the ‘Santa’ stage, that tradition will probably fade with it.

I remember when I was growing up, we used to leave out a scotch and coke and a beer for Santa...not sure when I realised that’s what my parents drank, but it kept ‘Santa’ happy.

Here are 20 of the top traditions in Australia: 1. Have kids stand outside a window and sing carols while the older folk sit at the window, throwing lollies, clapping and cheering.

2. Place a Gift under the Kmart wishing tree- then place the card you get on the tree.

3. Clean pjs, clean bedding and a bubble bath on Xmas Eve- with a Mr Matey Bubble Bath- I love my Mr MATEY!! PLEASE!!!

4. A stubby out for Santa, a bowl of milk and carrots for the reindeer and an old key for Santa to get in- to overcome the lack of chimney.

5. A Dec 1st Xmas Feast Extravaganza with all the trimmings as a prelude to the big day- also good for those that don’t get to host the big meal. Decorate the tree, watch elf and have a dec 1st feast.

6. Hang real candy canes on the tree while listening to Xmas music- then have mum read Christmas stories.

7. Put out reindeer food on the letter box… It’s oats with glitter in it…

8. Let the kids stay awake and go to midnight mass 9. Every Xmas get green and red handprints from your child- save them as a record 10. If you have friends with lots of kids, start a tradition of gifting their family a new10 Christmas decoration every year.

11. Ice chocolates for everyone while they open presents.

12. Having a treasure hunt to track down mum and dads gift.

13. Pack tiny presents in MASSIVE boxes.

14. Put potatoes in the stocking for all the “naughty” times we had in the year”. The bigger the potato the bigger the present u missed out on (love this one hahahaha) 15. Cutting down a real tree so the house smells like Christmas 16. Go into the city each year and have the kids choose a new decoration 17. All the adults stay up on Xmas eve and have a drink and open their presents at midnight 18. Take a trip into the city to see the Myer Xmas windows 19. Dress up in your ‘Sunday best’ for Christmas lunch- even if it only stays that way until the end of the meal.

20. Have the Christmas Photo every year of the whole family.

Write in and tell us your Christmas Tradition. For every story we share, you will receive a $10 Coles/Myer Gift Card.

Email your stories to enquiries@finditonline.net.au

Regardless of the Christmas Traditions you do OR DONT adoptwe wish you and your family the best, the safest and the most magical Christmas you could hope for.

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ADHD IN KIDS Does diet really have an effect?

Written by editor, Mel Smith As a parent of a child with ADHD, it is a time consuming, heartbreaking and tough time for both yourself and your child. My son was diagnosed late 2014 and once I surpassed my denial and fear of the disorder, I opened up to medication. But is it the best option?

For many years, the teachers at school had mentioned that my son was not concentrating, boisterous, distractive and loud. I thought he was just being a boy and doing what boys do best. Seeing his grades slip was probably the biggest eye opener and made me realise that I may need to seek the help of a professional.

We were sent to see a paediatrician who recommended Ritalin. He suggested an allergy test. So now we know what he is allergic to but there was no suggestion of any changes to his diet, just give him meds. I really wasn’t sure about this at all. I didn’t want my son to become a zombie. I didn’t want my son to lose his sense of being.

After all, this is all you hear about. How bad it is for them. Was this the right decision for my son and family? Surely giving my son medication that affects his brain at such a young age will have some effect?

After a long discussion between my husband, our son and extensive research into the medication prescribed, we thought we’d give it a try. Surely if the doctor prescribes it, it can’t be that bad. Can it? A lot of children are on the prescribed ‘controlled drug’.

We were told it wasn’t addictive, and that once he stopped it would be out of his system. I put my trust in the doctor and the system and What are decided to give it a try. We started the dose over the school holidays your kids so we could monitor his behaviour and any side effects and see if it allergic to? made a difference in him at all. And to my surprise, it did.

Let us know and you could win $50

When I was getting the script filled at the chemist, the pharmacist could see I was anxious about getting the script filled. He bought it Over to me and we chatted. He told me we only ever hear about the bad stories. We don’t hear about the good ones because parents don’t like advertising the fact their children are on medication.

Embarrassment of having your child on a drug that is in the same class as Cocaine maybe? In the end he calmed me down and I released my fingers from the tight grip I had them in. * Please note: This is the daily struggle of a mother of a child with ADHD so don’t judge

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My son has gone through Year 3 at primary school this year medicated for the first time. It has been a long and painful ten months. We have trialled that many different doses of the drug and ended up back where we started. One of them DID make him like a Zombie. It was very sad to see. There was nothing there. No personality. I got him off that one straight away. In the end, I bought his tablet forward an hour from what he was prescribed and we are now on an even playing field. His mood is steady instead of up and down now, which was very frustrating for both him and his teacher.

His teacher has noticed a huge difference in his concentration levels and his work has improved dramatically. His Naplan results put him above the school average and just below the national average. I’m not a huge Naplan fan, however, these results just show how far he has come as he would have been way below school average last year.

‘In Australia the most often prescribed ADHD drugs, Ritalin, methylphenidate (generic form of Ritalin) and dexamphetamine are Schedule 8 drugs. This means they are classed in the same category as cocaine, opium and morphine.’

He seems to be steady at school where he has a set routine. Once home however, he is wild, loud and can be abusive. Why? Because he doesn’t have a routine at home.

It’s easier to just let him play games then try to get him to do anything. Eating dinner is a chore with him, having a shower is a screaming match, and doing a chore is war.

He seems to be losing weight and has dark circles under his eyes. So, my question is...

Am I still doing the right thing?

So I started researching again and come across new information that I haven’t seen before. Maybe I was oblivious as I was looking for the good reports. Why haven’t I seen this before?

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Some say ADHD is widely over diagnosed. Research shows that food additives can cause hyper activity in children, a lack of sleep at night can become hyper active and irritable, children with a central auditing processing disorder can appear noncompliant and fidgety, which are all signs of ADHD. Doesn’t that sound like most children? Do you medicate your child???

Sydney University’s Dean of Education and Social Work, Derrick Armstrong said, “… children have been given the ADHD ‘label’ to cover a multitude of problems that had not been addressed and given drugs to ‘basically quiet them down’” I’m now second guessing my decision to medicate my child. I believe you should always trust your gut instinct and something told me from the beginning it wasn’t a good idea. I will continue him until the end of the 2015 school year and give him a break. I will also be looking into alternatives...counselling, therapy, something that can work on the hearing side of him (as I know he has hearing problems) I have limited his in take of colours and preservatives down hugely but can obviously improve in that department.

‘About one to two of every 100 Australian children are taking stimulant medication.’

So, what I want to know is???

Has your child been diagnosed with ADHD and did you medicate? Let us know your story and if published in the next issue, you could win a $50 gift card.

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Roast potatoes with Sage and Orange “These sage-roasted potatoes with orange peel and garlic are a great way to add flavour to a roast ” ________________________________________________________

Serves: 8 Cooks In: 1H 5M Ingredients • 2 kg King Edward potatoes , peeled and cut to the size of golf balls • 8-9 cloves garlic , skins left on and squashed • 2 oranges , peel of, cut into long thin strips • 1 large bunch fresh sage , leaves picked • 6 tablespoons goose fat or olive oil

Method 1. Preheat the oven to 220ºC/425ºF/gas 7. In a large pan, parboil the potatoes in boiling, salted water for 10 minutes, then drain in a colander, shaking it to chuff up the edges of the spuds.

2. Heat a large roasting tray on the hob over a low heat. (You may need 2 trays.)

Add the goose fat or oil and the garlic, orange peel and sage, then fry for 30 seconds. Add the spuds and toss them until well coated.

3. Place the tray in the oven and cook for 45 minutes or until golden and crisp.

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RECIPES

Pork loin with Porky Scratchings and Cider Gravy “You can't have a pork roast without the crackling, and this clever technique give you as much of the salty, crunchy stuff as possible, while still getting that tender, juicy pork.”

________________________________________ Serves: 8 Cooks In: 2H 35M Ingredients

• 2.5kg (8 cutlets) pork loin rack, French-trimmed, rind removed and reserved

• 1 tablespoon sea salt, plus extra • 2 large sprigs rosemary, bruised • 500ml (2 cups) apple cider • 250ml (1 cup) chicken stock • 1 tablespoon brown sugar • 2 strips orange rind • 2 cinnamon sticks, bruised • 3 whole star anise, bruised • 25g butter, at room temperature • 1 tablespoon plain flour

Method 1. Preheat oven to 220C/200C fan forced. Cut rind into 2cm-thick strips. Sprinkle with salt. Set aside for 20 minutes. Place rind on a rack set over a roasting pan and roast, turning halfway, for 25-30 minutes or until golden. Transfer to a bowl. Season with sea salt. Reduce oven to 190°C/170°C fan forced.

2. Secure rosemary on pork, between bones and flesh, with kitchen string. Season. Heat a frying pan over medium-high heat. Cook pork, fat-side down, for 5 minutes until browned. Transfer pork to a flameproof roasting pan. Roast for 1 hour. Baste with pan juices. Roast for a further 45 minutes or until just cooked through. Transfer to a platter. Cover loosely with foil. Set aside for 30 minutes, to rest.

3. Meanwhile, discard all but 2 tbs fat from the pan. Add cider, stock, sugar, rind, cinnamon and star anise. Bring to a simmer over low heat. Simmer for 15 minutes or until reduced by half.

Combine butter and flour in a small bowl until a smooth paste forms and whisk into gravy until smooth and combined. Cook, stirring, until thickened slightly. Season.

4. Slice pork between the ribs and serve with the gravy and scratchings.

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Sticky Caramel Ham ECIPES

“Give your Christmas centrepiece the star treatment with this glorious ham glaze” ____________________________________________________________

Serves: 8 Cooks In: 1H 45M

Ingredients • 10kg cooked leg of ham • Whole cloves, to decorate • 1 cup raw caster sugar • 1 cup orange juice, strained • 12cm-long strip orange rind • 1/2 teaspoon whole black peppercorns • 1 cinnamon stick

Method

1. Preheat oven to 180C/160C fan-forced. Cut through ham rind 8cm from shank.

Run your thumb under rind to separate it from fat. Peel back, sliding your fingers under rind as you go. Remove rind. Using a small sharp knife, score fat diagonally at 3cm intervals to form a diamond pattern, being careful not to score fat too deeply. Pierce each diamond with a clove. Wrap shank end in foil.

2. Place sugar in a small saucepan over medium heat. Cook, occasionally shaking pan, for 4 to 5 minutes or until melted and caramelised. Remove from heat.

Carefully stir in juice (the mixture will splatter) to form a toffee-like consistency.

Return to heat. Cook for 2 minutes or until toffee dissolves. Add rind, peppercorns and cinnamon. Simmer for 5 minutes or until slightly thickened. Stand for 10 minutes to thicken. Strain through a fine sieve. Discard solids.

3. Place ham on a wire rack in a roasting pan. Add boiling water until it reaches 2cm up side of pan. Brush ham with 1/4 caramel mixture. Bake, basting with mixture every 20 minutes, for 1 hour 30 minutes or until golden. Remove foil from shank and serve.

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Christmas Truffles ECIPES

“Make the gift of giving special with these indulgent Christmas truffles” ____________________________________________________________

Serves: 20 Cooks In: 10M

Ingredients • 16 Arnott's Milk Arrowroot Biscuits, coarsely broken • 40g (1/4 cup) finely chopped dried apricots • 375g pkt white chocolate melts • 160ml (2/3 cup) condensed milk • 85g pkt strawberry jelly crystals • 85g pkt lime jelly crystals

Method

1. Line a baking tray with baking paper. Use a rolling pin or a food processor to finely crush the biscuits. Transfer to a large bowl. Stir in the apricot.

2. Stir 100g (1/2 cup) of chocolate melts and the condensed milk in a small saucepan over low heat for 3-4 minutes or until melted and smooth. Add to the biscuit mixture and stir until well combined. Roll 2 teaspoonful portions of mixture into balls. Place on the prepared tray in the fridge for 10 minutes or until firm.

3. Place the strawberry and lime jelly crystals in 2 small bowls. Melt remaining chocolate melts following packet directions.

4. Use a fork to dip 1 truffle in melted chocolate. Tap fork on the edge of the bowl to allow excess chocolate to drip off. Return to the prepared tray and sprinkle with jelly crystals. Repeat with the remaining truffles, chocolate and jelly crystals. Set aside until set 25

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Christmas Pudding ECIPES

“Plan ahead and treat your guests to this rich pudding on Christmas day.” ____________________________________________________________

Serves: 2 Cooks In: 11HR Ingredients • 30g Western Star Original Butter, for lightly greasing the pudding basins • 375g sultanas • 375g currants • 375g raisins • 125g mixed peel • Grated rind of 1 lemon • 2 cooking apples, grated • 250g Western Star Chef's Choice Premium Cultured Unsalted Butter, grated • 375g soft white breadcrumbs • 250g sugar • 6 eggs • 1 teaspoon flour • 1 teaspoon ground cloves • 1 teaspoon cinnamon • Good pinch of salt • 2 tablespoons brandy, or rum if desired

Method

1. Prepare 2 pudding basins by lightly greasing with butter.

2. Cut raisins and mixed peel into even sized small pieces.

3. Place the breadcrumbs in a large bowl. Sift flour, salt and spices over breadcrumbs.

4. Add the grated butter, apple, lemon rind, mixed fruits and sugar.

5. Beat eggs until frothy and add rum or brandy if using.

6. Add to other ingredients and mix thoroughly. Mixture should be fairly soft.

7. Spoon into the prepared basins and cover with greaseproof paper and foil or cloth.

8. Cure tightly with string.

9. Boil for 7 hours on first day and further 4 hours on day it will be eaten.

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FUN CHRISTMAS CRAFTS Get the kids busy this week just in time for Christmas

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Darling Deer • Cover a cardboard tube with patterned paper.

• Cut a triangle head and two large and two small oval ears out of paper.

• Glue the smaller ears inside the larger ones and fold in half. Glue to top of triangle.

• Cut felt circles for eyes. Glue googly eyes to felt. Add pom-pom nose.

• Glue the triangle to the top centre of the tube.

• Use straws and pipe cleaners to make antlers.

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A Wee Christmas Tree • Cut five 18 x 24-inch triangles from cardboard.

• Score the center of each triangle to make it easier to bend.

• Fold each triangle in half and glue together.

• Use clothespins to keep the pieces together.

• Paint the tree white.

• Roll corrugated paper around a cardboard tube to make the tree base.

• Cut a star from felt.

• Add a wire to the bottom of the star to attach to the tree.

String O'Dots

• Cut two yards of string.

• Every few inches, place a sticker on the string and then press another sticker back to back.

• String around the tree.

Fa-la-la-felt Skirt • Trim the edges of a two by two-foot piece of felt to make a circle.

• Glue rickrack to outer edge of the circle.

• Decorate with felt circles.

• Place under mini-tree.

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3-D Christmas Card • Cut two circles out of paper.

• Bend one in half and glue one side to the second circle.

• Cut and glue a paper ornament topper to the top of the circle.

• Glue a piece of string to the back of the topper.

• Glue to cardstock.

• Pull the string tightly and glue to the back of the card.

Melt-free Snowmen • Cut snowman shapes out of felt.

• Decorate each snowman with a felt top hat.

• Punch a hole on each side of the snowman.

• String with baker's twine.

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Give Peace a Wreath • Paint clothespins and an embroidery hoop.

• Glue clothespins onto the hoop.

• Cut two felt leaves and glue near the top of the hoop.

• Glue small felt circles and buttons to the leaves.

• Thread a string through the top of the hoop.

• Cut a dove shape out of felt. Glue a teardrop wing to each side.

• Decorate with feathers.

• Add a black-marker dot eye to dove.

• Pierce the beak of the bird with a scissor tip and slide a one-inch piece of white floral wire through the slit to make an olive branch.

• Attach two felt leaves to each end of the wire.

• Glue dove to the wreath.

Tag, You're It • Trace a cookie cutter on a piece of felt and colorued paper.

• Cut out shapes and glue together.

• Punch a hole at the top centre of the tag.

• Add a string to attach to a gift.

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Bullying in Our Schools: A Different Perspective

By Maggie Dent

“Our world is becoming increasingly violent. Social and political initiatives everywhere are seeking to counteract escalating trends of suicide, aggression, crime, destruction of the environment and ultimately war.” — James W Prescott PhD. How Culture Shapes the Developing Brain and the Future of Humanity No matter how many laptops, interactive white boards or other innovations that are appearing in our schools, we cannot ignore the elephant in the room – bullying is on the rise and negatively impacts almost every classroom. Teachers everywhere are struggling with the issue from kindergarten through to the high school and valuable time is wasted trying to solve the problem because it is not easy.

Before I continue I need to clarify the difference between childhood nastiness and bullying.

Children have always had moments when the choices they make when interacting with other children are unkind and hurtful. The odd shove, bite or name calling incident is how children learn how to make better social decisions with careful guidance by adults. It shows that emotional competence to manage impulses, delay gratification, manage emotions and develop empathy take time to grow. This is normal childhood nastiness and is different from bullying where there is a deliberate intent to hurt another by using an unacceptable use of power and it is often repeated.

"Bullying is when someone (or a group of people) with more power than you, repeatedly and intentionally uses negative words and/or actions against you, which causes you distress and risks your wellbeing." — National Council Against Bullying (Aust) I was asked to take over a Year 9 English class for a teacher going who was going on maternity leave and I was warned that the worst bully of the school was in that class. Tommy certainly had attitude and no-one would sit near him in class and no-one wanted to ever work with him. I decided early on that he looked lonely. I spent time building a cooperative caring class environment by doing different activities and the best one was paired sharing. This involves students choosing students they don’t know, and doing a guided pair-share. I keep the time limit to 90 seconds and ensure that only one person speaks and the other listens – no interruptions.

Each pair-share began with 90 seconds sharing your life story – then swap, then maybe talk about your best play experiences from childhood – then swap, maybe share worst nightmares, favourite foods, if I had $1million what would I do? I also enjoy using Jenny Mosley’s Circle Time after the first week as this is a powerful way of building connectedness. After the second week something interesting happened – students were sitting next to Tommy, speaking to him and even working with him in groups. Tommy never put a foot out of place and his studies improved dramatically.

The bully had been tamed.

In many ways the increases in school bullying is a sign that our adult world has changed. There is more violence in sport, road rage, violent computer games, alcohol-induced violence, less manners, reality TV that publicly makes fun of people, graffiti and high levels of youth homelessness – all sure signs we have lost social capital and a former culture of community cohesion and care. Despite these social changes, we still need to do everything we can to reduce the bullying that exists in our schools. In a way, bullying behaviour has almost become accepted as the new norm. Our job now is to change this.

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In my experience as a high-school teacher and a counsellor I know that both the bully and the victim are struggling with emotional illiteracy and a low sense of self. The bully covers his or her inadequacy by “acting out being tough” when they are really struggling to cover up a low selfesteem and a fear of being rejected.

Many victims are chosen because they appear vulnerable or just because they are different – not because they are weak. They have a different culture, they have big ears, they are overweight, they seem to have no friends or they have a noticeable life challenge. Then there are the victims who are chosen because they have what the bully values and wishes he/she had – good looks, wealthy family, courage to be individual, a girlfriend/boyfriend, artistic talent, lots of good friends, school success or even a happy family. The bully’s actions is what then causes the victim to struggle – being frightened for one’s safety, being shamed, harassed, constant verbal and psychological abuse, and being excluded all cause deep trauma within children and adolescents. The thinking processes become distorted and the inner critic voice of many victims will become negative, toxic and the cycle of self-destructive and critical thoughts continually erodes the victim so that they then attack themselves. Effectively, they bully themselves and expect to be bullied – this is a very difficult cycle to break and this can have lethal consequences especially in adolescence.

"I endured years of bullying from those in my school, and in my class especially. I still remember their names, all of them, and to this day am still haunted by the years of humiliation. As a result, I have not managed to develop many friendships, been quite a shy person, dislike social activity, and have ended up pretty much a prisoner to my own fears of being embarrassed and humiliated". — Nurturing Kids’ Hearts and Souls, Maggie Dent (2005) Signs a student might be being bullied: Unexplained cuts or bruises Ripped clothing Vague headaches or stomachaches Reluctance to go to school Asking for "lost" possessions to be replaced "Losing" lunch money Falling out with previously good friends Being moody or bad tempered Doing less well at schoolwork Insomnia Anxiety Being quiet or withdrawn Unexpected outbursts and meltdowns.

We are wired to be social beings and schools are small societies. The two biggest threats that can happen to humans are to be rejected from the tribe and to appear weak because biologically this would mean death. Our ancestors and we humble humans today are instinctually wired to survive before being happy or clever. This instinctual behaviour still happens – to feel unloved and powerless means to feel rejected and weak. Dr Matthew Lieberman, a social cognitive scientist, has found that social pains like being rejected, treated unfairly and being verbally abused feels like a physical pain. The brain shows the same neural responses of distress in either situation and social pain, like bullying can be seen to affect victims much more deeply than previously believed.

“… we sometimes think someone should “get over” their hurt feelings despite the fact that we would never think someone should “get over” their broken leg. Accordingly, 37 we need to appreciate that however much reality we accord to physical pain we should also extend to social pain.” — Dr Matthew Lieberman,

In reverse, being treated fairly activates the same neural pathways as chocolate. This new finding was like a light bulb going off in my head. I rarely saw any bullying in my high school classrooms and I speak to many teachers who experience the same. Yet some of my students were known to be bullies in other classes and in the playground. When the primary needs of every individual — to feel safe, cared for, and valued is fulfilled it removes the invisible threat of rejection and the unconscious trigger of the fight/flight/freeze response. Bullies are often triggered to fight when they feel unsafe, inadequate or rejected. Being treated fairly is a huge influence on student behaviour in our schools. This negates the primitive and instinctual needs to demonstrate power and strength. This is what happened with Tommy.

I have concerns that the anti-bullying programs and initiatives may be unintentionally making things worse. When you focus on the word “bullying” it creates a mental picture that makes the problem even more evident. Also, to change human behaviour you need more than a one-houra-week program that lasts a term. The message that bullying is unacceptable must be embedded within a school culture that focuses equally on academic growth and building emotional and social competence within an inclusive caring school environment. Essentially this is what schools were doing before the national testing focus become flavour of the month and stole times spent done doing non-academic activities.

Effective teachers have less time to build the best bully-busting initiatives that are known in childhood — building friendship, human connectedness, inclusivity and belonging through lots of play, school singing, dancing and the arts. The bullies and victims need to feel they are both safe and protected. Bullies are not born, they are made — they have to have been bullied themselves. So when a classroom offers protection and genuine care, they can relax and let their learned behaviour or their instinctual reactions take a back seat.

Their pre-frontal cortex can only function when their amygdala is calm and off alert. The same goes for the victims. Some children simply do not know how to be a good friend and no amount of sanctions will help. I am a good friend is a visualisation I have created for children under seven to build neural pathways that allow children with poor social skills to learn how to be a kind and caring friend. Kindergartens and childcare centres that have used this have seen huge positive shifts for children with bullying tendencies. One of the best protective factors against bullying is having friends — there is safety in numbers.

Ways schools can help prevent and overcome bullying: Have a school focus on fairness: “Everyone matters — no matter what.”

Increase play time in classrooms and school grounds —play is excellent way of building emotional and social competences.

Teach calm and stillness to children from kindergarten.

Build safer classrooms and playgrounds — reduce threats of rejection.

Have strong pastoral care focus in schools.

Explore ways to build sense of belonging for troubled individuals. A teacher “ally” is an essential part of helping bullies and victims to develop trust and understanding. To build a sense of inner value and worth, students need to help out others – eg. Read to preschoolers, help out with local elderly people, help in school gardens, help their teacher allies in some way. This technique builds self-esteem instead of damaging it by being more sanctions and discipline.

Run as many programs as possible for as long as possible that build resilience, emotional and social competence. (eg Better Buddies is an initiative of The Alannah and Madeline Foundation and The Friends for Life by Pathways)

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Build school spirit with school songs, assemblies, school plays, fun days and fundraising activities.

Serious and prolonged bullying leaves scars for life. The modern world is contributing to the problem with busy parents, children playing less outside and with each other, and having access to social networks online. Today’s children are couch potatoes, hurried and overscheduled in many ways and this causes a heightened sense of stress and stressed children are more prone to being bullies or victims. Children need adults to keep children in our schools and homes safe and maybe this is where the problem really begins.

Maybe if we all slowed down a little, hurried less, allowed our precious children their whole childhood to grow up and invested heaps of time guiding our children how to be kind, caring and decent, bullying would disappear. Until then, we as educators need to do all we can to make our schools safe, friendly and fair places for our students. We need to value the art of good teaching which includes “people making� as well as academic success. Remember, fairness tastes like chocolate to the human brain and that seems like an easy place to start.

Sourced from the Maggie Dent website

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Christmas Gift Guide 2015 See what we have found this year!!

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Essence Dress Made from a gorgeous geo style print and features a sweetheart neckline.

Invisible zipper at the back. Comes with removable straps.

Where: EyeCandy Clothing How much: $75.00

French Collection Candles Choose from a range of fragrances and sizes. Handmade candles and melts are a perfect gift and are safe and natural.

Where: Delish Lights How much: $24.95

Candy Cane Food Picks These fun Candy Cane food picks will give your lunch that extra healthy bit of fun and Christmas cheer!

Where: Little Bento World How much: $8.00

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Icy Pole Holders Made by an Aussie mum, these icy pole holders are sure to be a hit. Machine washable with a range of designs available.

Where: Ice Block Holders How much: $5.95

My Handy Tool Belt Strap on this tool belt and watch your child become a jack of all trades! Made of fabric and Velcro, it includes a screwdriver, hammer, nuts and bolts and oil can.

Suitable for ages 3+

Where: Wiggles Piggles How much: $39.95

Dollcake Swimsuit How cute are these? Every little girl needs one of these bathing suits.

This items is available 1-2 weeks (5-7 in stock now)Comes with Free Matching Swim Cap

Where: Arabella and Rose How much: $28.00

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Old School Chocolate Cake Mix These home made baking mixes are a perfect gift this Christmas. Made by a local mum and business woman in Perth, WA, Megan has recently opened her own shop selling all her yummy goodies.

I’ve used these and they are not only delicious, but easy to use and only made with

Where: Littlesweet Baking How much: $12.00

Baroque Pendant Gold Stainless Steel I P Gold highly polished 45mm diameter Pendant featuring modern Baroque motif.

What a gorgeous addition to mum’s favourite necklace.

Only the best.

Where: Envy Jewellery How much: $50.00

Jingle Bells Wall Print Decorate your home this Christmas with this wall print. It’s bright and cheery and lists the old school Christmas Carols we all used to sing as kids.

Start a new tradition with your kids this year.

Where: PDWP How much: $9.95

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Cinderella Dress Stunning handmade Frozen dress for any little princess.

Get yours today.

Where: My Lil Treasures

How much: $99.00

Red Pendant Silicone made jewellery lasts forever and is easy to wear. This simple design is a perfect Christmas gift.

Where: Rainbow Bites How much: $10.00

Dream Bra Designed for Petite-Curvy customers, the Dream Bra offers generous cleavage and an enhanced cup size, with a natural, rounded shape.

Where: Intimo Lingerie How much: $75.00

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Mummydesking: How to get work done and be a good mother

Illustration: Matt Golding

It is a paradise that only working parents of small children can understand: a place to sit for three hours without any interruptions while someone looks after the kids. This isn't a break to get a haircut, go shopping, visit the gym, or read a book. This is a break for work.

So if hipsters and tech-heads can have co-working and hot-desking spaces, then why can't mothers have mummydesking?

Businesswoman and mother Pia Davis came up with the Mummydesk idea when her son, Charlie, was just a few months old. She found herself taking the laptop on walks so she could sneak in moments of work when he fell asleep. Now back at work – and with Charlie old enough to entertain himself with a train set for a few minutes at a time – she has organised a space for other women to get work done.

"I want mums to be able to come in and drop the babies off and then have their own space to work. It is all about working efficiently," she told Fairfax Media.

Asked why mothers couldn't just work at home, Ms Davis says homes were full of distractions and housework. And children needing to be looked after.

"If you turn the TV on you feel like a bad mother. If you don't turn the TV on you have about 30 seconds until you have very cute but very slimey fingers all over your lap top."

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Davis currently runs Mummydesk at the Kensington Neighbourhood House in Melbourne's inner west two afternoons a week. She hopes to expand the business to other parts of Melbourne providing there were licensed child care facilities available.

While co-working spaces charge about $20 per day, Davis charges $20 an hour to cover the cost of childcare, plus an extra $10 an hour for siblings.

However, she provides free coffee, WiFi, photocopying and printing The concept formalises what many parents already do on an ad hoc basis – finding something to entertain the kids while they work on a personal project, organise community events, or study. Look around any playground and you'll see parents sneaking in some email, research or phone time.

"We are trying to bridge this gap, specifically for mums, who are at risk of losing their professional identity and network after having children," Davis explains.

The first Mummydesk session held on Thursday saw several mothers working quietly in a tidy room upstairs for three hours while the children played downstairs with carers.

Contractor Candice McGregor said she was completing an IT project for one of several companies she works for. With an 18-month waiting list for childcare places in her area this was the best opportunity she had for quiet time.

"Usually I try to do as much work as I can while [my child] sleeps, and while he is awake it is a balance of having toys thrust in my face and trying to work," McGregor says. "Generally people who work from home do most of their work when the children are asleep or when someone is there to help you, if you are lucky enough."

Brooke Prust from Essendon works three days a week and was also doing an Arts degree in literature and philosophy. She has two small children and said she doesn't want them in day care for a full fourth day while she studies. So three hours of casual child care and a quiet place to read Greek history was perfect.

"In three uninterrupted hours, you can get a lot done," Prust says.

Davis says Mummydesk was open to fathers as well, but it was usually the mothers who were left to juggle child care with their work or projects. She hopes a few hours of clear head space will empower mothers to study, prepare for a return to work, stay on top of household administration and network.

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/national/mummydesking-how-to-get-work-done-andbe-a-good-mother-20150730-gio01u.html#ixzz3hjxEBW5c 47

Yonique Consultant: Sara Back

SHOP ONLINE NOW

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Rock My World Upside Down Each issue we will be bringing you this personal and true story of Warrior Pink...A Perth mum who is struggling with an illness.

HI, I’m the Chemo Buddy. I would like to tell you a story of my friend Warrior Pink.

Warrior Pink is a Perth mum who was diagnosed with AML (Acute Myloid Leukemia).

In 2014 she was very sick. WP went to see multiple doctors and had multiple tests to find out why she was so sick. Some said viral mouth infection, some said tonsillitis, some said asthma or glandular fever. Even waiting at the hospital for 4 hours to be seen, they said it was just asthma. She needed to get better as she a full time mum of 4 young kids.

ON the 23rd September, Warrior Pink was very sick, that she couldn’t walk anywhere.

She asked her partner to take her into emergency later that afternoon. The emergency doctors put her on oxygen straight away, and asked her when she got the spotting bruises. Warrior Pink didn’t think anything of the spots of bruising as her kids are always climbing up on her. The Doctor said that the bruises were a sign that there something wrong with her blood, so they put her in isolation room. Warrior pink started to think she might have the swine flu or something like that. Never in a million years would she expect the news the doctors are about to tell her…….

Until next time …

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Get To Know...

This issue we meet Paws N Claws Pet Sitting Service. Lee-Anne Curby, owner and pet sitter, tells us more about her award winning business.

Local professional, caring, reliable pet sitting and dog walking service, which is solely owner operated. The service to use when you're not there !!

Lee-Anne visits your home and provides daily care for all your pet/s whilst you are away on holidays or sick. She caters for the areas from Gwandalan through to Wyong- Lisarow Narara Springfield -Terrigal- Gosford - Kincumber -Bensville- Empire Bay - Woy Woy - Pt Clare -TascottKoolewong - Umina Beach - Ettalong and surrounding areas .

Paws N Claws is fully insured with full police clearance giving you peace of mind when on holiday. You can always be assured that your pet/s when in our care are our first priority.

Paws N Claws offer you a personalised pet sit plan catering for your all pet/s needs. Also ask about their great rate for permanent weekly dog walks.

Pet Taxi service available to your Vet or Groomer.

Puppy and Kitten daily care visits available with lots of TLC for your new addition to your family.

Paws N Claws pet sit all pets short or long term.

Discount for Pensioners A full price range is available on their website .

Paws N Claws clients are proof of the great service provided as many of their clients ' testimonials attest to .

For a free quote and obligation free "meet and greet" please contact Paws N Claws (details are below) Lee-Anne values your input on their Facebook page and aim to be the first stop for all your pet sitting and dog walking needs on the coast.

We look forward to meeting you and caring for your pets.

Email: info@pawsnclawspetsittingservice.com.au Web: www.pawsnclawspetsittingservice.com.au Phone: 0432 210 120

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Business Listings Kinetic Landscaping

Lizzy’s Letters

Jaystar Coaching And Healing

Paws N Claws Pet Sitting Service

WA jeremiahmclellan@bigpond.com

Success, WA jaystarcoachingandhealing@gmail.com

QLD shil8436@bigpond.net.au

NSW info@pawsnclawspetsittingservice.com.au

Stuck Up Stickers and Decals

Byford, WA stuckupstickersanddecals@gmail.com

Wills 4 Women

WA Wills4womenneryl@gmail.com

Kits and Bits

WA contact@kitsandbits.com.au

Perth Design Web and Print Seville Grove, WA info@pdwp.com.au

Go Jo Cleaning

Bedfordale, WA Jodieloveslife@bigpond.com

Yonique Representative

Sara Back, WA https://www.youniqueproducts.com/SaraBack

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WIN $100 To win a $100 Coles Myer Gift Card this Christmas, simply LIKE us on Facebook, LIKE Perth Design Web and Print on Facebook, SHARE this competition with your friends and family and head to our online competition and leave your details.

Follow the link to ENTER Good Luck and get SHARING Terms and Conditions: Gift card can not be redeemed for cash. Entrants must LIKE Find It Online 52 Published and Perth Design Web and Print on Facebook to be eligible. The winner will be notified via email and a postal address must be supplied to receive the prize.