healthy kids
The Blended Family TIPS FOR CREATING A SUCCESSFUL STEPFAMILY by Ronica O’Hara
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he Brady Bunch aside, blended families seldom look like TV sitcoms. They often come with a cast of characters—freshly remarried parents, a number of kids and step-kids, up to four sets of relatives and exes in the wings—all with their own needs, hopes and issues. One in six children today lives in a blended family, so the stakes are high for their well-being, and yet, understandably, two out of three blended marriages fail. They don’t have to, says Kimberly King, a children’s book author in Fairfield, Connecticut, who was raised in blended families and as a parent, now has her own blended batch of kids. “Blended families work when parents plan for challenges, have space for disagreements and have an incredible amount of patience and love. But they are not for the faint of heart!" she says. Therapists and blended-family veterans offer advice for those on this important journey:
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Go slow and steady. It can take two to four years for a blended family to adjust to living together, counsels the American Psychological Association. The process can be particularly hard for youngsters from 10 to 14. “Don’t pressure the children. If they don’t want to call you Mom or Dad, don’t take it personally. They have their own biological parent whom they love, and they didn’t ask for their parents to get divorced. Stay positive and realize that time itself is an important factor,” counsels Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a licensed clinical professional counselor, in Baltimore, and founder, with his wife, Rivka, of TheMarriageRestorationProject.com.
