Methodist Message: June 2023

Biblical grandparenting

The storied self Reflections on ageing and the elderly

From earth to etern ity

How do we finish well and prepare for eternity?

Editorial Board

Adviser and Publisher

Dr Anthony Goh

Chairperson, Council on Communications

Communications Manager

Lynn Tan

Managing Editor

Alvin Tay Editor

Lianne Ong

Communications Executive

Kathrynn Koh

Sub-editors

Lucy Cheng

Janice Khoo

Tan Chiu Ai

Proofreaders

Kenneth Lee

Christabel Tan

The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

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Contents

/ Bishop’s Message /

/ News /

3 Celebrating God’s design for marriage and family at CAC's Loving Families Carnival 2023

6 Epworth's 25 years of serving children, youth and families in apt, worthy ways

9 MPSPL and MSM team up to design new music programme for Methodist preschools

12 Learn Digital@Wesley A golden opportunity

/ Feature /

14 Biblical grandparenting Rejoicing, Role and Responsibilities

16 From earth to eternity

/ Opinion /

20 Soundings: The storied self Reflections on ageing and the elderly

/ Outreach /

22 "I would 'die' without help …": Easing the burden of caregiver stress with respite care

24 Restructuring for the future

/ Relationships /

26 You and Your Family: Change is more than a feeling or an intent

/ Worship /

29 Songwriters gather to craft a new Alleluia

/ People /

33 Helping the forgotten, unloved and despised

Upward (2023) by Dominique Fam

Based on Philippians 3:12–14, Upward is a depiction of our navigation through life's challenges as we get older. We may take a familiar route, but God's grace guides us afresh each new day. This artwork was produced for Methodist Message with kind assistance and permission from Sound of Art (https://www.soundof.art/). More details on pg

By the time you read this, I will have turned 62. Still considered a spring chicken by many of you who are much older, but I already identify with the person who said that there are three clear signs that we are getting older. One, we start losing our hair. Two, we start losing our memory. And three … I forget what that third sign was! Maybe it had to do with becoming cornier!

Anyhow, the Bible does not ask us to pretend or pray that our outward physical bodies will never deteriorate or fade away. The apostle Paul explicitly affirms that outwardly and physically, we will fade away and get weaker. This is something which we (if we are honest), and others (if they are not being polite), can clearly see. But Paul urges us not to lose heart or get discouraged by this visible ageing process. Instead, he urges us to "fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:18 NIV).

And what is this currently "unseen" but "eternal" reality? Paul tells us in the very next verse: "For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands" (2 Corinthians 5:1 NIV).

So, even though outwardly we can see that our bodies are fading away, let us be encouraged and refreshed each new day, by God's promise of a future that is as yet unseen. A future promise that we will have heavenly bodies which, in contrast to our earthly bodies which are like temporary tents, will be like eternal buildings.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

2 Corinthians 4:16 NIV

Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.

~ Robert Browning

Outwardly fading, inwardly flourishing

Celebrating God’s design for marriage and family at CAC's Loving Families Carnival 2023

The Chinese Annual Conference (CAC) May Day event has traditionally been a platform for special topical discussions and training, but this year, May Day took on a different purpose. When CAC President, Rev Dr Goh Nai Lat, called for a meeting with the chairpersons of CAC Boards to discuss an all-of-CAC response to the changes in the law last year, it was clear that the family had to be at the centre of CAC's response. It was decided that the annual May Day event would be the ideal platform to articulate this response and a fun, family carnival would be held.

The carnival, called Loving Families or 爱家 倍 , was to be a celebration of the family, by the family. Held on 1 May 2023 at Geylang Methodist School (Secondary), it was attended by 2,000 people from CAC's 17 churches.

A united CAC effort

The Loving Families Carnival took a little over four months to organise and was a joint effort involving multiple CAC Boards and churches. The organising committee was chaired by Col (Ret) Quek Koh Eng, while Dr David Ang, who is the CAC Board of Family Life chairperson, played a key role in the committee.

Col Quek was heartened that every Board executed their roles and responsibilities expeditiously. "Involving all the chairpersons of the Boards in organising this major event was a good move," as it showed the commitment of each Board in supporting the event and building strong families.

Dr Benjamin Leong is the chairperson of the CAC Board of Laity and member of Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church. Additional reporting by the CAC Communications Team / Photos by Joshua Khoo and Kong Kum Cheong

Top and right: Parents and children having a go at various game booths

Bottom: Presentation of love gift to Methodist Welfare Services

ACS (International)

ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an all-round English-based education for students aged 12 to 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IBDP)

Building Through Belief, this school of choice provides

• Exceptional examination results, strong value-added achievement and an all-round holistic education

• 50:50 mix of local and international teachers who uphold the dual Methodist ethos and ACS heritage

• Small class sizes with overall student-teacher ratio of 8 7 : 1

• 40 different CCAs – 16 Sporting, 12 Visual and Performing Arts, 12 Special Interest Groups

• Over 200 formal student leadership positions

• Scholarships for four Singaporeans to undertake the IBDP

Achievements include

• Students with perfect score of 45 points in IBDP

• 23 “Top in the World” awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past twelve years

• Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years

• Admissions to top universities in the UK, the US, Australia and Singapore

• PSLE and GCE ‘O’ Level students obtaining outstanding value-added examination results for the IBDP and improved pathways to good universities

For more information, please contact Joseph Ng or Serene Lim at +65 6472 1477 or admissions@acsinternational.edu.sg

• Successes at national level in Athletics, Touch Rugby, Debating, Orchestra, Volleyball, Taekwondo, Ice Hockey, Fencing, Swimming, Artistic Swimming, Rhythmic Gymnastics and Wushu.

Senior Leadership Team

Mr Gavin Kinch Principal Mrs Tan Siew Hoon Vice-Principal

Dr Kristopher Achter Vice-Principal

Mr Christopher Hayward Vice-Principal

Celebrating God’s design for marriage and family at CAC's Loving Families Carnival 2023

"Families are the bedrock of society," echoed Dr Ang. "When this foundation is established and well taken care of, what grows and comes out from it will be healthy and positive. As love, faith, and godliness permeate a home, it will spread laterally and generationally."

President Goh thanked the CAC churches for helping to make the carnival a success. In particular, he thanked Sengkang Methodist Church for ensuring that the event was inclusive to those with special needs. President Goh exhorted churches to value their family life ministries because of the key role that families play in continuing the legacy of our faith.

Safeguarding the family unit

Beyond organising a fun-filled family event, Col Quek highlighted the deep concern to help safeguard families in response to the "challenges and pressure faced by our families today".

"There have been many webinars, seminars and talks highlighting the importance of family conducted over the years, but the CAC Executive Board wanted to make a stand and announce a renewed focus on the family and its importance in the days ahead for the spiritual and moral well-being of our Christian families and churches," Col Quek said.

He encouraged parents to continue to set aside time to have fun with their children, because doing so aids in strengthening a child's self-image and creates "emotionally and relationally strong adults".

Moving forward, CAC hopes to see churches introduce more activities to encourage family bonding and bring attention to the importance of family life.

For more photos and videos from the carnival day, head to CAC’s Facebook (@cac.singapore) or Instagram (@cactogether)

Photobooth by Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church

Left: Hot Dog stall by Holy Covenant Methodist Church

Right: Nasi Lemak stall by Geylang Chinese Methodist Church

Top: Reciting the CAC Family Life Pledge at the Closing Service

Right: Performance by CAC Got Talent winner, Ci Xian & Family from Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church

Epworth's 25 years of serving children, youth and families in apt, worthy ways

Epworth Community Services originally started out as Methodist Children and Youth Centre (MCYC) around 1998. It was an outreach effort by Barker Road Methodist Church (BRMC) to the neighbouring community in Bukit Batok where MCYC was situated. In the early days, MCYC operated a small student care centre as well as a drop-in centre to serve vulnerable children and youths in the neighbourhood.

In April 2002, Tan Khye Suan (the founding and current Executive Director) was tasked to find ways to make MCYC more sustainable on a long-term basis.

"I felt that my goal was to bring MCYC to stability and carry the vision of reaching out in Christian love by providing meaningful programmes and services to children and youths in the community-at-large," Khye Suan said. He had a passion for working with children and youths and had already served The Boys' Brigade as an officer and at BRMC as a Sunday school teacher and General Superintendent for many years.

In 2002, when Khye Suan came in as Executive Director of MCYC, there were eight staff operating a student care centre serving over 50 children in the neighbourhood. MCYC was also doing school-based social work in a programme

called Cabin Drop-in at Dunearn Secondary School. The programme was conceived by the school and MCYC operated it for free.

MCYC decided to start focusing on finding school-based social work which could generate income. It was a tough time as Khye Suan and his staff Angie Cham (still with Epworth today) had to go knocking on doors to ask for work. "We would go to schools asking to see the principals. Often, we would be turned away as we did not have an appointment. We simply said that we would wait and requested for a half hour to meet whenever the principal was available. We sat there and waited in the office for hours till the principals had no choice but to see us," Khye Suan said with a laugh. Epworth Family Day, 2016

Emily Lim-Leh authors children's books, worships at Barker Road Methodist Church and volunteers with Epworth Community Services. / Photos courtesy of Epworth Community Services

Over time, MCYC started to sign on school-based programmes with several schools—starting first with Dunearn Secondary, then Chua Chu Kang Secondary, Yusof Ishak Secondary, Chestnut Drive Secondary and more. Most of the schoolbased programmes revolved around group work for offending students, including social skills, counselling and behaviour modification. These programmes provided the seeds for Epworth's impactful work with at-risk children and youths which has since developed into much deeper work and more structured services.

Epworth Community Services is now a social service agency recognised as an Institution of a Public Character (IPC). It operates as an independent entity and is a member of the National Council of Social Services. The Epworth name takes reference from the birth town of John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, as a reflection of its Methodist roots. Epworth remains affiliated with BRMC which has provided unwavering support.

Today, Epworth is well-regarded in the social services sector for its specialised services for vulnerable children and at-risk youths in the areas of trauma care, therapy and foster care.

Home Sweet Home, which opened in 2013, became the first therapeutic group

home in Singapore for children who experienced extreme trauma. In 2015, Epworth became the first fostering agency outside of the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF). It is also one of two agencies appointed by MSF to deliver preFamily Guidance Order services, aimed at addressing at-risk behaviours of children and youths in partnership with their families.

Epworth broke new ground with its opening of the Centre for Positive Recovery in 2022, which provides therapeutic support for children who have been affected by trauma-related issues. Its two literacy intervention centres help children with learning challenges and impairments to cope with formal education, many of whom are referred by nearby schools and hospitals. It operates student care centres in AngloChinese School (Junior) and Anglo-Chinese School (Primary), which provide a safe space for children whose parents are unable to look after them after school due to work commitments in the day.

Celebrating its 25th Anniversary this year, Epworth continues to be guided by its mission to reach out in Christian love by providing quality programmes and services to children, youths, parents and families of all races, languages and religions. It serves those from at-risk and disadvantaged

Epworth Staff Amazing Race, 2022

Teacher Jovian doing card drills with students during literacy intervention class at Epworth Literacy Centre, Bukit Batok

Epworth's 25 years of serving children, youth and families in apt, worthy ways

families with a vision to build strong families, foster their resilience and support their mental well-being.

"When I joined Epworth (then MCYC), there were only about 20 staff," said Mary Ng, Divisional Director (Children, Youth, Family and Corporate Services). "Today, we have over 110 staff across eight locations and have served around 30,000 beneficiaries over the past 25 years through our programmes and services. It's amazing to see how God has sustained and grown Epworth, using our work to bring hope and transform lives. All glory to God—may Epworth continue to flourish under his leading so that we can impact even more lives!"

Epworth's beneficiaries

Epworth has been amazing for my boys and they love attending Epworth Student Care Centre. The programmes have provided some structure to my kids' afternoons, giving them discipline to study and get their homework done, while filling their lives with fun because they are learning and hanging out with their friends and the lovely Epworth teachers.

Epworth has also helped me manage as a single, working parent, but most importantly Epworth's student care has helped my boys be the best versions of themselves.

 Lesley Renton , whose sons Louis (P4) and Max (Sec 1) benefitted from their time at Epworth Student Care Centre at ACS(P)

I still remember those days when Carys could not even read. However, under the patient guidance of teacher Jovian, I could see the tremendous improvement in her language skills. Today, she is in the top three for her English class! Recently, I was informed by her schoolteacher that they were considering appointing Carys as a school prefect. All these would not have been possible without the help of teacher Jovian and the Literacy team.

 Father of Carys Chua , former student at Epworth Literacy Centre

MPSPL and MSM team up to design new music programme for Methodist preschools

Music is an art that offers many proven benefits for the learning and development of the child. Research has shown that exposure to music from early childhood helps children speak with clearer articulation, develop varied vocabulary and grow depth in socio-emotional understanding. Music can also energise, induce relaxation and stimulate the mind. How then can music be used to teach God's truths in a seamless and holistic manner?

To this end, Methodist Preschool Services Pte Ltd (MPSPL) and Methodist School of Music (MSM) have teamed up to develop a faith-based music programme called the Methodist Music Odyssey (MMO). The pilot programme began in February this year for the K1 level and is slated to roll out at all MPSPL-managed preschools at both the K1 and K2 levels in 2024.

Ellissa Sayampanathan graduated with a Masters in Music from the University of Cambridge and is a Music Consultant for the Methodist Music Odyssey programme. She worships at Barker Road Methodist Church. Jessica Chong is the Education Programme Manager of Methodist Preschool Services Pte Ltd (MPSPL). / Photos courtesy of MPSPL

Below: Bible teaching integrated in MMO lesson

MSM music teacher showing children instruments such as the violin (left) and tambourine (below)

AN ADVICE COLUMN

Like the Samaritan woman from John 4, we too may experience troubles in our relationships, or encounter people who lead us away from how we hope to live.

Life-giving encouragement that is centred on God’s word brings hope and reconciliation. Starting July, MM’s panel of counsellors will answer your relationship questions. Would you come and chat with us?

Our panellists

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed MM ’ s “You & Your Family” column for more than 16 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Scan

Rev Tay Li Ping is currently pastoring at Christalite Methodist Chapel. Trained as an IndustrialOrganisational Psychologist before becoming a pastor, Rev Tay is particularly interested in the intersection of Psychology and Theology. She is married and has

five sons.

share your questions

Koh Ai Jin is a registered clinical counsellor with extensive experience in marriage and family counselling, mental health concerns and psychological trauma. She runs her own practice and currently serves as vice-president of the Association of Christian Counsellors (Singapore).

Benny Bong

Rev Tay Li Ping

Koh Ai Jin

Inspired by the Kodály concept of music education that promotes a holistic development of the child's ear, mind, hands and heart, the MMO seeks to address cognitive, physical, socio-emotional, moral and spiritual development whilst growing the child's musical aptitude and ability. The curriculum is built to incorporate games and movement activities in music learning that inspire engagement while addressing important growth areas such as joint attention, gross and fine motor movement, spatial awareness and linguistic ability. Children are exposed to, learn to identify and have hands-on experience with different musical instruments. All these elements will help to form a firm foundation that will equip them well for music lessons in Primary school.

Singing is a distinguishing factor of the Methodist tradition, with over 6,000 hymns penned by the Wesley brothers. In the hope that our children will embody this heritage, the MMO—intended to be a

signature programme for MPSPL-managed preschools—is thus designed to be a singing-based programme. Christian hymns, songs and stories are used as vessels for teaching musical concepts. Lessons are designed to reflect the liturgical seasons of the Church year in song, allowing children to experience with the universal Church the cycle of awe, meditation, and triumph in unpacking the life and ministry of Jesus, as biblical truths and values are seamlessly internalised during MMO lessons.

The values inculcated during MMO lessons are directed by a biblical compass, piling the child's foundation with a knowledge of God, good character traits and moulding the child's perspective on life—all of which articulate the vision of MPSPL and The Methodist Church in Singapore (MCS). The programme's learning outcomes are also aligned with MOE's Nurturing Early Learners (NEL) Curriculum Framework for kindergartens in Singapore.

Enthusiastic children at MMO lesson

Marjorie Tan serves in various ministries including the Small Group and Glowing Years Ministries at Wesley Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of Marjorie Tan

Learn Digital@Wesley – A golden opportunity

Anew initiative for seniors to pick up digital skills has been launched at Wesley Methodist Church. Learn Digital@ Wesley (LDW) is an initiative of Wesley Communications in collaboration with Wesley Glowing Years Ministry (WGYM). The pandemic had magnified the need to be digitally-savvy, and it was particularly challenging for seniors to pick up these skills.

Making digital headway in Wesley

From feedback received, seniors at Wesley had expressed the desire to learn how to access information and carry out everyday tasks more expediently online. Recognising this need, Kevyn Lai, Wesley's Pastoral Team Member (Communications) said, "We wanted Wesleyans and friends to gain confidence and not feel left behind. We wanted to help them to use digital technology confidently in their daily lives, and support their discipleship journey."

Discussion and planning for LDW

started as early as 2019, led by then Communications Chairperson (now LCEC Chairperson), Alvin Tay. It was halted when Covid-19 set in and resumed at the end of 2022 in partnership with SG Digital Office (SDO), a government body that was set up to drive digital adoption in the community. LDW was customised to include modules specific to Wesley. Packaged in four sessions over three months, the workshops

are scheduled from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., led by SDO's Digital Ambassadors. To help seniors take their first steps confidently, lessons were conducted at a comfortable pace in peer learning groups.

Designed for seniors

Echoing the need to help Wesleyans navigate the digital landscape with confidence, Koh Geok Cheng, vicechairperson of WGYM said, "Seniors may become increasingly isolated if they do not go digital—not only socially, but also in their daily living, as seen by how the Covid-19 pandemic has evolved and transformed the way we do things."

To support the communication needs of the church ministries, LDW participants learned to access Wesley's website and other church platforms such as its Telegram channel for information and to perform online registrations. Besides being aware of cybersecurity issues, they also learned to connect to Wesley's wireless network while in church. In addition, the participants also familiarised themselves with government applications such as SingPass and Health Buddy, and communications platforms like email, WhatsApp and Telegram.

"Just as church staff gather for microlearning sessions under the Wesley Learning

Confident participants of the inaugural batch of Learn Digital@ Wesley

Circle workshops to support each other with software solutions relevant to ministry work, the same concept is applied to the objectives and facilitation of LDW," said Kevyn.

Approved by seniors

Fully subscribed soon after it was offered, the programme's hands-on practice and on-the-spot consultation were especially welcomed. Claris Keong, who serves in Worship & Music Ministry, appreciated the 30-person cap which allowed for enough interaction with the facilitators. Adding that the SDO's digital ambassadors and Wesley's Communications staff were very accommodating, she said, "Their explanations were clear and accompanied by videos. I now appreciate and make better use of WhatsApp, and know the difference between Android and iOS applications."

During the session on Cybersecurity, the SDO partnered with the Neighbourhood Police Centre from Tanglin Division to give participants a clearer picture of scams and ways to counter them.

Hoping that participants who have taken part in the first run will share with others the experience they have gained, Geok Cheng shared, "We hope to feature Wesley seniors as digital role models who will encourage fellow seniors to take a leap forward if they have not already done so."

Future plans

Registration for the second part of the first run of LDW will open soon for Wesleyans and friends. This is slated for July 2023 and will cover accessing online platforms and practical applications such as digital transactions, Google Translate, transport, food and media channels.

WGYM has also appointed its own Digital Ambassadors, John Lim and Ng Chai Seng, who have been actively supporting the learning and administration of LDW workshops.

An earlier version of this article was published in Wesley TIDINGS of Wesley Methodist Church, May 2023.

Praise FOR THE PROGRAMME

"The cybersecurity session made me aware of the different types of scams, and how to handle them—there's no need to panic! I learnt to download the ScamShield app, how to report scams, and how to block unwanted numbers. I now have stronger passwords for my different accounts."

 Cathryn Tan , serves in Wesley Women's Cancer Support Group

"Learn Digital@Wesley is welcoming and fun. The trainers make all the difference—they were patient, explained clearly, and gave us oneon-one assistance. This workshop has widened my digital understanding in an unthreatening manner."

 Doris Chow , serves in Small Group Ministry

"I'm pleasantly surprised and glad that Wesley cares for 'computer-bodoh' people like me and arranged this helpful series of talks."

 Tan Kee Cheong , serves in Discipleship & Nurture Ministry

Dr Ho Boon Tiong is the LCEC Chairperson of Bedok Methodist Church. He runs an educational and training consultancy firm he founded some 16 years ago and is a certified practitioner of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) tool. He is a sought-after speaker, workshop facilitator and a published author. / Photo courtesy of Ho Boon Tiong

Biblical grandparenting – Rejoicing, Role and Responsibilities

“Congratulations, Grandpa Ho. Welcome to the club!”

With these well-wishes from brothersand sisters-in-Christ, I was pleasantly inducted into the grandparents' club on the day my granddaughter was born last year. My wife and I had long been awaiting this day. As a family, we were overjoyed, to say the least.

Every child is a gift from God (Ps 127: 3). We are also told, “Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers” (Prov 17:6). To prepare ourselves to be grandparents, my wife and I had attended courses and read books on the subject. One such book I recommend is A Grand Calling – Biblical Reflections for Grandparents by Bishop Emeritus Robert M Solomon (2021, Our Daily Bread Publishing).

I'd like to share three tips which have guided me in my role as a grandparent so

far. I call them the 3Rs: Rejoicing, Role and Responsibilities.

Rejoicing

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.” (Phil 4:4).

I rejoice over my granddaughter's birth and count it a blessing to enjoy the experience of being a grandfather. As a way of passing down the legacy of my family to the generations to come, I wrote a book A Better You and dedicated it to my granddaughter.

I was particularly delighted when my son and my daughter-in-law presented our granddaughter for infant baptism. In infant baptism, I see parents undertaking responsibility for raising the child in the ways of the Lord (Prov 22:6, Deut 6:1-9). After all, the Lord God in whom we believe is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God of all generations.

Dr Ho with his wife, Diana, and granddaughter, Jobelle

Role

As grandparents, my wife and I are constantly mindful that we are not our granddaughter's parents. Our adult children have to assume their role as parents, while we play our role by providing practical and timely support to their family unit. There are boundaries to observe so as not to conflate the roles.

A couple of instances would serve to illustrate the critical difference between the role of grandparents and that of parents:

• Naming the baby

Names are important and in biblical times, names often reflected a person’s character and destiny. Abram, when called by God to be the father of all nations, was renamed Abraham (Gen 17:5). Jacob, too, was renamed Israel when he wrestled with God (Gen 32:28).

While grandparents may offer suggestions for choosing names based on meanings and the passing on of family traditions, the final decision belongs to the parents. We can discuss and pray over the choice of names but they, as parents, ultimately decide.

• Parenting preferences

We can only share with our adult children our parenting experiences and pray for them to have wisdom in their parenting journey. In any case, yesteryear's parenting styles might not be totally relevant in today’s context. Today’s parents tend to accord more autonomy to the child while the grandparents believe in establishing a more structured environment. For example, when it comes to feeding at the table, parents will let the child feed himor herself in order to encourage baby-led weaning, often messing up the dining area. This can really irk some grandparents! Therefore, we need to be wise to distinguish timeless principles from the trends of the day. The parents must explore and decide for themselves how they want to bring up their children.

Responsibilities

Amongst the huge responsibilities of grandparents, we see ourselves playing a part in our granddaughter’s spiritual growth. As grandparents, we believe we have the responsibility to

• Pray unceasingly

We pray for our children to walk intimately with God, abiding in Jesus always. Only if they abide in Christ can they be fruitful in all that they do. Parenting comes with many unanticipated challenges at every stage of the child’s development at each moment, parents need the grace and wisdom of God to do the right thing.

• Continue gathering as a family

Our family has established the discipline and habit of a weekly family gathering for meals and prayer. The addition of a young grandchild may disrupt the routine but we must persevere to meet as a family for bonding and prayer. Getting together may not be easy but every gathering is always rewarding.

• Bring up our grandchildren in the ways of the Lord

The best gift one can offer is to bring another into his kingdom and nurture them to be disciples of Christ. Timothy was one such person to benefit from the nurturing of his mother and grandmother (2 Tim 1:5). This is a great privilege to be undertaken seriously.

An example of providing spiritual guidance when the parents, say, are disciplining the child is to gently remind them not to discipline in anger, to teach the child the right lesson and to restore the child in love at the close of that disciplining episode. Yes, it may not be easy but we must continuously pray for wisdom.

A brother-in-Christ once jokingly remarked: Grandparenting is grand because it requires a grand amount of time, grand energy and grand efforts! How true!

From earth to eternity

As I write this, my elderly mother is in hospital again. There are purple bruises on the back of her hands and crook of her elbows, where needles and cannulas attempted to seek a viable vein. Once more, I was confronted by my own mortality.

Where do we go when we die, what is eternity, is there an afterlife, where are the locations of (the unseen) heaven and hell in the (seen) universe? Different religions propound different answers.

What is on the Other Side

In the story of Lazarus (Jn 11:1-44), Jesus raised him to life after he had already been entombed for four days. By then, according to his sister Martha, Lazarus' body was already "stinking". Emphatically dead, yet at Jesus' command, Lazarus walked out of the tomb, incomprehensibly whole, dressed in his burial clothes. If he had some exciting tale about the afterlife, it is not recorded in the Bible.

Lucy Cheng worships at Wesley Methodist Church and teaches in their BeTween ministry.

On the other hand, the Bible records what Jesus told his disciples, "I am going away, and you will seek me, and you will die in your sin. Where I am going, you cannot come" (Jn 8:21). Thoroughly misunderstanding, the Jews who heard this clamoured to know if Jesus was going someplace to kill himself, to which Jesus replied, "You are from below; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world. I told you that you would die in your sins, for unless you believe that I am he you will indeed die in your sins" (Jn 8:23-24).

Besides virtually claiming divinity, Jesus saying he is "from above" makes the case for us to believe that heaven is somewhere above us rather than below. He later "ascended" into heaven.

For Christians, eternity will be spent in either heaven or hell. Revelation 21 describes in awe-inspiring detail what we can look forward to in "a new heaven and a new earth" . Other religions and philosophies hold different views. Some teach cycles of reincarnation. In Greek and Asian mythology, eternity is spent in an "underworld", while an atheist friend of mine is convinced that death is a "fullstop", and after we die there is "nothing".

What is eternity, and does it kick in immediately upon our mortal death, or at the Second Coming? This will always be a mystery. Since we know of none who have returned from a real death (like Lazarus') to tell their tale, eternity can only be what we believe it is from the Bible. (Anecdotal near-death experiences are a whole other thing and not relevant here.)

Finally, the answers the Bible gives to us demand faith, which is the hard part. For the Christian, the Bible is the infallible, inerrant Word of God that is the key to

unlock eternity. "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see" (Heb 11:1 NIV). By the Bible's definition, if you can see it to believe it, no faith is required. As Christians, we "live by faith, not by sight" (2 Cor 5:7 NIV).

Preparing ourselves for the Other Side

What can we do to prepare ourselves for death? Irrespective of our religion, this is probably the easiest to answer.

Of late, there are more public conversations about growing old and the needs of the elderly in Singapore. At a book launch of Singapore Ageing: Issues and Challenges Ahead on 11 April 2023, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong cited the statistics, "Our population is not just ageing, but ageing rapidly. In 2010, about 1 in 10 Singaporeans were aged 65 and above. A decade later, in 2020, it has risen to about 1 in 6. By 2030, another 10 years later, it would be almost 1 in 4 Singaporeans over 65." 1 How we tackle ageism and its attendant plethora of needs, he said, will determine whether seniors in Singapore "are healthy, savvy, actively engaged in productive and meaningful activities, and well-respected, and society benefits from their collective wisdom and experience".

But death can happen to anyone at any age. The Bible sets an average longevity of "threescore years and ten" (Ps 90:10 KJV), which is 70 years. This is not far off from the average human lifespan in recent centuries. While vast progress in medical science has helped more people to live longer than 70, it is interesting that Moses, who wrote this psalm, was born in 1393BC and lived for 120 years himself. He must have written this under divine inspiration (2 Tim 3:16).

I daresay every one of us hopes that we will pass on before we reach the stage of being bedridden and totally dependent on others for the basics of daily living. And everyone craves significance, even though we know that the tangible manifestations of it, like wealth, honour and fame, are fleeting and won't matter a jot to us when we are ashes.

In short, the quality of our lives matters. We are born with two innate desires: to live well and to leave behind a good legacy. This is consonant with the biblical truth that we are born to be significant, for we are created by God in the image of God (Gen 1:27), and for a good, clearly specified purpose (Gen 1:26, 28). Here is God's answer to our questions: Why was I born? What is the meaning of my life?

A good death

I first heard the expression "a good death" at the wake of a neighbour who had died in her sleep at the age of 80. Her husband said she had not suffered from any major ailments prior, and her passing was calm and peaceful. His disclosure was met with murmurs of approval: how enviable, and desirable, such a good death! We all know that death does not come presented in a list of options we can choose from. How then can we ensure we have a "good death"? Can

dying of a painful terminal illness, or in an accident, never be a "good death"?

There are many highly-recommended books offering insights and practical advice on how to live our days meaningfully before we set foot in eternity. 2 Practising kindness, helping others and serving God by serving our community, are ways we can spend our time to amass quality years. Practical advice includes keeping ourselves healthy mentally and physically, by eating nutritious food, exercising, maintaining social contacts, financial prudence, making an advanced medical directive and a will—in general, putting our house in order. The writers offer common wisdom in pithy phrases: to live well is to die well; add life to your years, not years to your life. And to state the obvious, to live well in the ways described above, is all that we really have any control over.

In the Christian lexicon then, a good death, contrary to conventional thought, should not be about the manner of our death, how easy or painless or quick, but the manner in which we have spent our God-given days.

True, in our human estimation, some deaths are more tragic than others—to be gunned down (Maximilian Kolbe at the hands of the Nazis in a concentration camp, Rachel Joy Scott who refused to deny her Christian faith in the Columbine High School massacre), or to die of a terminal illness at a relatively young age (Paul Kalanithi, of cancer at 37, whose book When Breath Becomes Air became his much-celebrated swansong).

But when we consider the intangible legacies left by people like them, it would be arrogant to say that they did not die a good death. Death comes for us all eventually and unpredictably. To prepare ourselves for eternity, as far as we can envision eternity, we should commit to the mission of doing all the good we can on earth.

Doing good on earth

Christians do not have a monopoly on the teaching that we should do good in our earthly lives. It is a tenet in many, if not all, religions and philosophies of the world. What sets us apart from others is the guidance we can freely obtain from the Bible, and the help of the Holy Spirit to inspire, counsel and encourage.

The apostle Paul offered a cogent summary of doing good when he exhorted the Ephesian church: "live a life worthy of the calling you have received" . He followed this with, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace" (Eph 4:1-6 NIV).

In our quest to prepare for eternity, we should start with an honest assessment of whether we are truly living our lives daily in accordance with God's word.

Uphill (2022) by

Dominique Fam

A depiction of our day-today walk through the hills and valleys of life, as we take uneven steps and make uncertain strides toward our destinations. The roads we walk on may have been travelled by many who have passed the same way before, but it is providence that guides us and illuminates our paths.

Dominique Fam is an illustrator and worships at Wesley Methodist Church.

Reproduced with permission from Sound of Art

(https://www.soundof.art/) .

1 https://www.pmo.gov.sg/Newsroom/PM-LeeHsien-Loong-at-the-Singapore-Ageing-Issuesand-Challenges-Ahead-Book-Launch

David Goetsch, in his essay centred on this passage wrote, "The message in Ephesians 4:1 is about how we live our lives, not just what we achieve or who we are to the world." 3

2 Some of these titles are (1) Through the Valley: The Art of Living Well and Leaving Well by William Wan (2) The Purpose-Driven Life, by Rick Warren, (3) Half Time: Moving from Success to Significance by Bob Buford.

3 https://www.david-goetsch.com/post/walkworthy-of-your-calling-ephesians-4-1

The phrase "silver tsunami" is often used to describe the extraordinary rise in the number of older people throughout the world today. It is employed by not only politicians and academics, but also the ageing service sector.

The expression betrays society's attitude towards its ageing members despite the rhetoric against ageism that pervades political speeches and the media. This is because the metaphor "tsunami" suggests that the rising ageing population is a doomsday catastrophe that must be expeditiously and effectively dealt with.

Modern society seems predisposed to view ageing persons vis-à-vis its reductive concepts of productivity. Seen from this perspective, ageing persons are not only deemed to be of little economic value, but also an immense burden to society. Sadly, the Church sometimes tacitly supports this view, as also evidenced by the little attention given to this topic by theologians. The Bible presents a realistic picture

The storied self

Reflections on ageing and the elderly

of ageing: On the one hand, it honestly acknowledges the physical and mental decline that comes with ageing; on the other, it acknowledges and appreciates the presence of the elderly in our midst, and calls for Christians to honour them.

In reminding the Corinthian Christians of their hope for "an eternal glory", the apostle Paul speaks candidly about the deterioration of their mortal bodies ( "outwardly we are wasting away" , 2 Corinthians 4:16 NIV). In doing so, the Bible addresses some of the misconceptions and triumphalism found in modern discourses about ageing.

One example of such misconceptions is the oft-repeated slogan that "age is just a number". While the motivation behind this catchy phrase is to encourage ageing persons to remain active and engaged, it can result in unrealistic expectations and stubborn denials. In other words, it can inspire triumphalism that would bring frustrations.

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.

In his letter entitled To the Elderly, Pope John Paul II reminds ageing persons of the difficulties that they will experience, which are part of their earthly existence. 1 The Catholic spiritual writer, Henri Nouwen, points out that it is only when an ageing person acknowledges his finitude that he is able to "break through the illusions of immortality and smile at all the urgencies and emergencies of his life", and arrive at the "true reasons for living". 2

Recognising the limitations that come with ageing, however, should not be used as an excuse to remove oneself from responsibility to family, friends and the community. On the contrary, Pope John Paul II is careful to stress that ageing persons must continue to "make themselves useful" by putting "their time, talents and experience at the service of others". 3 Far from being a burden, ageing persons can be valuable resources and can contribute to the overall well-being of society.

But most importantly, the ageing person must continue to trust in the Lord. He must live by the words of the Psalmist who declares:

O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.

So even to old age and gray hairs,

O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come.

(Psalm 71:17-18)

It is this trust in God that will enable the ageing person to look beyond the obstacles and impediments that come with growing older, to his life with God in eternity (Romans 8:18-21). In so doing, the Psalmist is also reminding those younger than he that every phase of life must be seen as meaningful preparation for eternity.

While the elderly must accept the decline that comes with ageing, society must acknowledge and appreciate the presence of its ageing members. In fact, the absence of the elderly in biblical communities points to God's disfavour (see 1 Samuel 2:31), while their presence was a sign of God's favour. For example, in Zechariah we read:

Thus says the Lord of hosts: Old men and old women shall again sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each with staff in hand because of great age.

(Zechariah 8:4)

It is also the responsibility of the community to take care of its ageing members. The theologians of the Church teach that this is but an extension of the fifth commandment to "honour your father and your mother" (Exodus 20:12).

The community honours its older members when it welcomes and assists them. It honours its elders when it allows them to make meaningful contributions to its shared life with their talents, experiences and life stories.

The true character of a society or community is revealed in the way in which it respects, honours and cares for its ageing members.

1 John Paul II , 'To the Elderly' , October 1, 1990, https://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/ letters/1999/documents/hf_jp-ii_let_01101999_ elderly.html

2 Henri Nouwen and Walter J. Gaffney, Aging (Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1976), 79.

3 John Paul II, 'To the Elderly' , para 16.

By the Methodist Welfare Services Communications Team / Photos courtesy of Methodist Welfare Services

"I would 'die' without help …": Easing the burden of caregiver stress with respite care

In the months following his father-in-law's death, Mr Lim Kay Kwong began noticing signs of early-onset Alzheimer's disease in his wife Betty Pay.

"My wife started to have episodes of aggression and anger after losing her father in 2016. She would get upset or angry easily, and behaved completely different from the mild-mannered woman she used to be. She also suffered from severe memory loss, and couldn't recognise her children at times," said Mr Lim.

The couple have two children who are married and no longer living with them. In order to care for his wife full-time, Mr Lim had to quit his bus driver job back then.

Getting help with caregiving

But caring for his wife took a challenging turn for Mr Lim when her condition deteriorated in 2019. Since then, he has been assisting her in day-to-day activities including toileting, showering and eating. The couple's weekly church outings also became a thing of the past.

Mr Lim Kay Kwong has found respite from caring for his wife with advanced dementia with the support of MWS Senior Care Centre –Eunos

Seeing how 24/7 caregiving was taking a toll on Mr Lim, the couple's son applied for day care assistance. "It's very stressful to be a full-time caregiver. If I didn't have day care workers to help me look after my wife, I would 'die' from the stress," said Mr Lim.

The 68-year-old first brought his wife to MWS Senior Care Centre – Eunos (MWS Eunos SCC) in February 2022, shortly after he moved into the neighbourhood. Every weekday morning, Mr Lim drops his wife off at the Centre, and picks her up in the late afternoon.

Day care has provided invaluable respite for Mr Lim. "I no longer feel so stressed out all the time. My wife has sleep problems and usually stays up till the wee hours of the night talking to herself. That affects my sleep too. When I send my wife to day care, I can catch up on sleep, go grocery-shopping, watch a movie or meet friends," he said.

"In Betty's case, as she became comfortable with the Centre's staff, she progressed from engaging with dolls to interacting with the staff and other clients instead."

Mr Lim shared: "My wife is happier now and is able to engage with the staff. They are very patient with her and treat her very well, and she listens to them. I used to have to force her to go to day care at another centre. But now, she looks forward to coming to day care."

Give the gift of respite care

Respite care is crucial for caregivers like Mr Lim who need a break from 24/7 caregiving. Caregivers often neglect their own well-being and risk suffering burnout caring for their loved ones, especially those with high care needs due to diseases like dementia.

Dispensing tender loving care Staff took time to settle Betty, who was suffering from late-stage Alzheimer's by the time she came to the Centre.

As the 65-year-old's communication skills and cognitive functions have declined with the disease's progression, life-like dolls were used to engage her, where she would cuddle and care for them like babies.

"Doll therapy is provided to persons with dementia to engage them emotionally in a way that may be soothing and therapeutic. This form of therapy is known to improve the well-being, comfort and quality of life of persons living with dementia," shared Valerie Koh, Centre Manager of MWS Eunos SCC.

MWS Senior Care Centre – Eunos provides support and respite to caregivers of frailer older adults through day care services. Besides providing personal care, staff also engage clients in recreational activities like bowling, painting and pedal exercising.

Most of our clients require financial assistance, and your generous support can help ease the stress of caregiving on carers like Mr Lim. To donate, visit mws.sg/give

Restructuring for the future

Methodist Missions Society (MMS) conducted an Organisational Restructure Exercise to address the issues related to the emerging trends in missiology and alignment of roles according to the arising needs in the mission fields.

The organisational restructuring was also driven by other needs. Firstly, at the MMS Leaders' Summit in August 2022, the need for a more streamlined leadership was raised, with operational matters put under the purview of the Field Director (FD), and strategic and management matters put under the purview of the Executive Director (ED). By removing overlapping responsibilities and areas of authority, it would create greater bandwidth in planning strategically and increasing stakeholder engagement.

Secondly, it was necessary to look into restructuring because of the need to address staff costs, which had exceeded the support cap from The Methodist Church in Singapore (MCS). This was brought up at the Executive Committee (ExCo) meeting in September 2022.

Because of the above, MMS was challenged to think holistically about the roles of each position to ensure their alignment with strategic objectives. This is part of a twopronged approach to address the support

cap, as well as to review the cap itself in relation to the activities executed. The restructuring is therefore a forward-looking exercise, repositioning MMS for the future, and not just to put right past shortcomings in the organisational structure.

The MMS ExCo endorsed the Organisational Restructure on 31 January 2023. The key roles in the restructured organisation are:

Field Director (FD)

• Provide leadership for the field missions

• Oversee the Regional Directors to ensure all operational matters in the mission fields are in order so as to achieve the established goals

Regional Director (RD)

• Formulate goals, objectives, strategies and plans in the mission fields

• Oversee all operational matters in the field to achieve the coordinated and established goals

Director, Strategic Planning and Capacity Building (SPCB)

• Oversee SPCB to identify and analyse issues or in anticipation of challenges, or confronting, particular mission fields or within MMS

Develop relevant and effective strategies and solutions aligned with the overall MMS strategic directions

From Nepal to Timor-Leste, MMS continues to bring the gospel to the communities through planting indigenous churches and community development

Rev Derrick Lau is the Executive Director of Methodist Missions Society (MMS). / Photos courtesy of MMS

Director, Centre for Missions Analysis, Reconstruction and Development (CeMiRe&D)

• Oversee CeMiRe&D, the think tank of MMS, and focus on missiological analysis from materials related to trends and ecclesiological needs in the region, conduct in-depth analysis that promotes missiological reflection of existing ministries, reconstruct or adjust of ministries as necessary, and support the entry into a new mission field Research on, and collaborate with, other mission agencies, and serve as mission resource to our Methodist churches

Stakeholder Engagement Manager (SEM)

• Ensure MMS field ministries are communicated to and supported by

the wider Methodist community in Singapore

• Broaden funding sources and ensure sustainability of MMS ministries in our mission fields, via adoption and partnership with individual churches

Home Director (HD)

• Formulate and implement approved MMS administrative policies, plans, and established goals at the Home Office

The Executive Director, being ultimately responsible for delivering MMS performance, has the prerogative of assigning people deemed suitable to positions in the new organisation.

METHODIST MISSIONS SOCIETY

Distinct Field & Strategic Leadership Roles

Director, Strategic Planning and Capacity Building

Stakeholder Engagement Manager

Director, Centre for Missions Analysis, Reconstruction and Development

Depository, Internship Scholarship Administrator

Communications Executive, Volunteer Relations Database Management Executive

Strategic leadership, admin and engagement under Executive Director

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 16 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Change is more than a feeling or an intent

The final exam of a counselling course I teach involves my students analysing and proposing a plan of action for a hypothetical case. In addition to writing an essay to demonstrate their analytical skills, they do a role play.

The scenario involves a couple in their mid40s, married for 15 years with two young children. After being diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease, the Husband had to reveal to his Wife the double life he had been living for years. On the surface, he was a loving father, a good provider for the family and an active church member. With the crisis came the revelation of his addiction to pornography which started in his late teens. He also had a habit of visiting massage parlours and paying for sex.

I find it interesting that the same scenario is played out in different ways by the "clients" and the student counsellors. No script is given and the students have full liberty to improvise.

My observation is that the role plays generally fall into three categories, with the prognosis ranging from bleak to potentially positive.

In the first category, the Husbands initially present themselves as rather confused by their pastor's recommendation to see a marriage counsellor, whom they approached for help when their Wives expressed outrage over the trivial matter. When the Counsellor asks about any other

concerns bothering the Wives, they hesitantly disclose the sexual indiscretions. This happens only after the Wives insist on honesty with the Counsellor.

The Husbands typically express surprise at their Wives still being troubled. After all, three months have passed since they last spoke about it and the Wives had ostensibly forgiven them. The Husbands are disappointed and feel judged by their Wives rather than receiving the support and help they want to battle the addiction to pornography and sex. Some of the Wives try to "support" their Husbands by renewing sexual relations, spurred by fear that if the latter’s need

for sex is not being met in the marriage, they might fall into temptation again.

Unsurprisingly, the prognosis for such cases tends to be rather negative. The couples, should they remain together, find it hard to rebuild trust and emotional closeness.

The second group of role plays generally have Husbands who admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. The Wives are, understandably, still shocked, angry and in varying degrees of disbelief. As in the first group, the Husbands feel judged and upset by the apparently superficial forgiveness of their Wives. Some Wives press their Husbands to explain their behaviour. These are met by accounts of abuse as a child or statements like "I also don’t understand", "I just cannot help it" or "It’s an addiction". Needless to say, these explanations do not engender much sympathy nor offer any assurance. Many of

those who played the Wives said that they may attempt to forgive but cannot see how they can forget.

The prognosis of this group is uncertain. Factors that can serve as good reasons to persevere—such as the children, a common faith and a fairly good marital relationship— help. Those lacking such "glue" may attempt a reconciliation in the hope that the behaviour does not repeat.

The last category is fairly similar to the second one, where the Husbands neither deny nor minimise their behaviour. Similarly, their Wives exhibit distress. But critical differences are seen that I, as a marital therapist, think bode well for the "couple".

The Husbands, while understanding that their behaviour may be related to childhood abuse or a long struggle with issues of self-esteem, do not excuse themselves for their actions. These Husbands are also more attentive to the hurts of their Wives. The responses of their "spouses" also help in no small way. Although justly angry, they are not consumed by it and do not continue to hurt either their Husbands or themselves. Neither do they blame themselves for the wayward behaviour of their Husbands. If both continue along this path, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Finally, this last group also receives support and help from others to point them to take concrete steps to change. Change begins when we confess our wrongs and are contrite, which is not just about feeling sorry but also wanting to change. Change therefore happens when awareness is coupled with a desire to do better and is supported by clear steps towards turning over a new leaf. Maybe then, with God’s grace, we get another chance.

Walking alongside you with compassion and care ESTABLISHED SINCE 2000

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38–39

HOSANNA BREAVEMENT SERVICES PTD LTD

Worship

Songwriters gather to craft a new Alleluia

Budding songwriters from Methodist and non-Methodist churches across Singapore congregated in Changi Cove Hotel for a songwriting retreat, called "The Faith We Sing" (TFWS), on 22 and 23 April 2023. The 2-day event, organised by the Methodist School of Music (MSM), was centred on the theme of families.

TFWS is a platform for local Christian songwriters to share their compositions with others in the faith community. Since 2020, MSM has been inviting local Christian songwriters to submit compositions to be featured at each TFWS event. In 2022, the first songwriting workshop was organised.

Before getting into the actual craft of songwriting, participants shared about their various experiences. For instance, some started writing songs inspired by journal entries, while others were commissioned by their church to compose a whole musical! But beyond that, participants were united in their belief that songwriting is a journey requiring humility because of the need to expose their own vulnerabilities. One participant summed songwriting up beautifully as

"something small and broken which the Lord transforms into something immensely powerful".

Dr Judith Laoyan-Mosomos, Director for Worship & Church Music of MSM, shared a brief history of congregational singing, discussing how the latest explosion of hymn-writing began in America in the 1960s amidst the backdrop of the hippie movement and civil rights protests before spreading to various places like Canada and Scotland. She proceeded to share the role of music in supporting the liturgy, and why global songs should be sung (illustrating how folktunes have been used for worship in Asia and Africa), before challenging participants to compose songs that the family can sing, and the church is in want of.

"We need to sing and celebrate God’s idea of family, lament the brokenness in families, restore the generational divide, and renew our commitment to Christ’s body here on earth. Unfortunately, we lack resources for these themes. It is time we write about them," Dr Laoyan-Mosomos said.

Left: Participants trying out their compositions

Right: Participants of TFWS 2023 songwriting retreat

Zachary Yong worships at Wesley Methodist Church. He is part of the Kopi kakis comics team and loves his coffee with milk and no sugar.  / Photos courtesy of Kegan Ang

Participants were given two prompts for their songwriting challenge: Firstly, what does Scripture teach about family that is critical but is lacking in today's church? Secondly, how does society understand and experience family and what kind of challenge does that pose for Christians?

In response to the first question, some shared how fathers needed to step up as the spiritual heads of their households and expressed a desire to see more families serving together in church. For the second question, everyone's attention was drawn to the fact that the Church needed to counter the renewed challenges to the traditional notion and structure of families, and redefine family support to include spiritual support for one another. Yet, despite all the familial mess and worldly trouble Christians may face, Cheryl Tan from Hakka Methodist Church reminded all present to love their neighbours.

With these thoughts in mind, the songwriters embarked on writing new songs. By the following day, most of the participants were ready with a draft of their songs. It was heartening to see how participants who did not know each other prior to the retreat, came together to help each other in the songwriting process—playing motifs on the piano/guitar, suggesting an alternative chord progression, or new lyrics to be set to the melody. As each songwriter shared about the inspiration behind their song, it was abundantly clear that God had placed a rhema 1 word in their hearts.

Yvonne Ong, from Bukit Panjang Methodist Church, shared how she had scoured her journal for ideas. She eventually settled on writing about the challenges a Christian family would face—how the inward-looking, worldly mindsets often tempt believers to stray. In it, she penned a declaration for families to proclaim so that they may, through worship, commit themselves to serve the Lord, echoing Joshua 24:15. She shared with participants how Christians who live in a contrarian world (1 John 2:15; Colossians 3:2) should seek to remove

the idols in their lives, i.e. things which take priority over God. One interesting feature of her song is the incorporation of a 3-note motif as well as a trisagion 2 —a form of corporate declaration—and yet simultaneously a personal reminder of the Lord's holiness.

Another participant, Dr Denis Cheong from Cairnhill Methodist Church, shared how his song was inspired by an 81-year-old retired pastor from New Zealand, whom various church leaders across New Zealand looked upon as a father figure. God used this example to draw Dr Cheong's attention to the struggles of fathers: from carrying out traditional roles such as providing for the family and raising the next generation to serve the Lord, to the temptation to chase worldly things like career advancements or vices. Dr Cheong noted that the role of fathers had often been relegated to mothers, resulting in fathers neglecting to be deliberate spiritual leaders of the household and eventually shirking their God-given responsibilities. Dr Cheong also meditated on Deuteronomy 11:19, in which Moses exhorts the Israelites to teach God's commandments to their children, "You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."

It was his hope that his song could not only edify the church, but also inspire and challenge fathers to discharge their Godgiven duties.

The retreat ended with a word of prayer, before all the participants returned home. As their songs are further refined before introduction to their local congregations, may God use them as his instrument for the extension of his kingdom in redeeming souls for Christ.

1 Rhema, from the Greek, means the spoken Word of God. https://www.christianity.com/wiki/bible/what-isthe-rhema-word.html

2 Trisagion meaning 'thrice holy' - https://www. umcdiscipleship.org/resources/history-of-hymnsholy-holy-holy-lord-god-almighty

Songwriters gather to craft a new Alleluia

THE AIR-CONDITIONED COLUMBARIUM

Open daily: 8am-8pm | Public Holidays: 9am-2pm

• Located next to Commonwealth MRT Station

• 99-year lease commencing from 1964

• Clean and peaceful environment

• Transfer of urns or exhumation can be arranged

OPEN TO ALL CHRISTIANS

Single and double niches are available with the following donations:

REGISTER AT OUR COLUMBARIUM OFFICE

400 Commonwealth Drive Faith Methodist Church

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Open Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm (Closed on Public Holidays)

Tel : 6479 8122 | HP : 9670 9935

Fax: 6479 6960

Email: gepc400@gmail.com

For booking of niches, please contact the columbarium office to arrange for an appointment.

Helping the forgotten, unloved and despised

"What does it mean to be a Methodist?" Even though I was privileged to attend a Methodist school and church for the better part of my life, I was always challenged to provide a satisfactory answer to this question.

To address my frustration, I decided to find out more. Some distinctive beliefs that define Methodists include being "born again", that salvation is available to all, and an emphasis on the ideals of the social gospel, amongst other things.

Then it struck me that I was taught all these things in Sunday school or during the sermons that were preached in church. That was my "aha" moment—I had heard, but failed to listen.

Of all these teachings, putting our beliefs into action by ministering to those facing social challenges in life is probably the most important to me. One of my favourite

verses is James 1:27, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

Let us not forget to minister to those who, in the eyes of our society, are forgotten, unloved, and despised. Invest your time, be a good steward and bless them with your resources, so that they too will have the opportunity to be touched by God's love through you.

Chris Chow worships at Barker Road Methodist Church and is the chairperson of Epworth Community Services. / Photo courtesy of Chris Chow

(left to right) Chris Chow with his sons, Jonathan, Nathan, and wife, Cynthia

COLOURS OF THE BIBLE 2023 ART COMPETITION

Online submission by 23 June (Friday)

7 Armenian Street, Bible House, S179932

Details and registration via http://coloursofthebible.org/competition/

Colours of the Bible is an annual art competition and exhibition co-organised by the Bible Society of Singapore and Embassy of Israel in Singapore. The Bible is full of stories about how our Heavenly Father cares for the little ones! How does God's love for children speak to you? The Colours of the Bible Art Competition celebrates its 10th year and this year's theme is "God's Love for Children in the Bible".

Express your creativity through various art forms—digital art, paintings, craft and textiles, even calligraphy—to bring this theme to life! There are also devotionals, interviews and workshops to look forward to in the months ahead.

Jointly organised by The Bible Society of Singapore and Embassy of Israel in Singapore

MINISTRY TO CHILDREN: HELPING CHILDREN TO LOVE GOD AND LOVE OTHERS

10 July–21 August (Mondays), 7.30–9.30 p.m.

Online via Zoom

Register before 3 July via https://ttc.edu.sg/english/study-at-ttc/equip-registration

Registration required; fees may apply

This course will equip lay Christians with biblical foundations as well as knowledge of processes and strategies to minister to children, including children with diverse educational needs. Participants will draw on principles and practices from Scripture and developmental psychology to establish a coherent and integrated philosophy of ministry to children. In addition, participants will learn how to leverage teaching and learning resources to help children build an authentic relationship with Jesus, discover and cultivate spiritual gifts, and be released for ministry to serve God with the power of the Holy Spirit.

Dr Morgan Zhou holds a doctorate in educational leadership from the National Institute of Education, Nanyang Technological University. He has worked as a former vice-principal and teaching fellow at NIE. Morgan has served in The Boys' Brigade and Children's Ministry in his church and currently chairs the Board of Children's Ministry in the Trinity Annual Conference of The Methodist Church in Singapore. He is passionate about mentoring, outreach to disadvantaged families, and keenly interested in strengthening the education of children and youth with diverse abilities and special needs.

Organised by EQUIP

GLOBAL CHINESE ALPHA CONFERENCE 2023

12–13 July

Bethesda (Bedok-Tampines) Church, 300 Bedok North Ave 3, S469717

Register before 30 June via asiapacific.alpha.org/gcac (Chinese) or asiapacific.alpha.org/gcac23-en (English)

$100 per person, or $80 per person for a group registration of 5 and above

When talking about revival, we cannot ignore the largest ethnic group in the world with 1.5 billion people. The Global Chinese Alpha Conference is a gathering of pastors and leaders in unity to be inspired, equipped and empowered to reach the Chinese communities globally. Join us to learn, network and dream God's dream for global mission amongst the Chinese.

Organised by Alpha Singapore