FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020 METROSOURCE
METROSOURCE
HOW FAR WILL HE GO? THE NOT-SO-GAY CRUSADE OF PETE BUTTIGIEG
OH SNAP!
THE INTERNATIONAL MALE DOCUMENTARY
MGM NATIONAL HARBOR THIS IS THE WAY TO WHOOPIE
THE BEAT GOES ON FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
THE RETURN OF DRUMMER MAGAZINE
TOM GOSS EXPLORING NEW TERRITORIES
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MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT BIKTARVY
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS OF BIKTARVY
BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including:
BIKTARVY may cause serious side effects, including: } Those in the “Most Important Information About BIKTARVY” section. } Changes in your immune system. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new symptoms after you start taking BIKTARVY. } Kidney problems, including kidney failure. Your healthcare provider should do blood and urine tests to check your kidneys. If you develop new or worse kidney problems, they may tell you to stop taking BIKTARVY. } Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis), which is a serious but rare medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: weakness or being more tired than usual, unusual muscle pain, being short of breath or fast breathing, stomach pain with nausea and vomiting, cold or blue hands and feet, feel dizzy or lightheaded, or a fast or abnormal heartbeat. } Severe liver problems, which in rare cases can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get these symptoms: skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow, dark “tea-colored” urine, light-colored stools, loss of appetite for several days or longer, nausea, or stomach-area pain. } The most common side effects of BIKTARVY in clinical studies were diarrhea (6%), nausea (6%), and headache (5%).
} Worsening of Hepatitis B (HBV) infection. If you
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ABOUT BIKTARVY BIKTARVY is a complete, 1-pill, once-a-day prescription medicine used to treat HIV-1 in adults. It can either be used in people who have never taken HIV-1 medicines before, or people who are replacing their current HIV-1 medicines and whose healthcare provider determines they meet certain requirements. BIKTARVY does not cure HIV-1 or AIDS. HIV-1 is the virus that causes AIDS. Do NOT take BIKTARVY if you also take a medicine that contains: } dofetilide } rifampin } any other medicines to treat HIV-1
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including hepatitis infection. } Have any other health problems. } Are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if BIKTARVY can harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant while taking BIKTARVY. } Are breastfeeding (nursing) or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed. HIV-1 can be passed to the baby in breast milk.
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} Go to BIKTARVY.com or call 1-800-GILEAD-5. } If you need help paying for your medicine,
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Please see Important Facts about BIKTARVY, including important warnings, on the previous page and visit BIKTARVY.com.
HELLO
VIEWS
EDITOR’S LETTER
IT’S A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU! This is the first of what I hope will be many letters from me. I am honored to be named the new Editor-in-Chief of METROSOURCE, especially during its 30th Anniversary year. This groundbreaking LGBTQ publication has been at the forefront of events and impactful stories that have helped shape the LGBTQ community. While I am honored to take on the task of stewarding one of the nation’s most important and iconic LGBTQ media brands, I am also very excited to begin this next chapter in LGBTQ history, and to continue to grow the METROSOURCE brand. With plans to expand our digital presence, we are committed more than ever to bringing the National, New York and Los Angeles print editions to our readers with the same great content, look and feel that readers have come to love. The entire METROSOURCE team and its accompanying contributors are some of the most talented individuals in their respective fields, and along with the new faces, there will be some familiar faces to METROSOURCE readers as well. METROSOURCE’s history began in 1990 as a local New York magazine, when founder Rob Davis had a vision of creating an LGBTQ publication with stories and imagery that readers could be proud to read and display in their homes and share with friends and family; and to create a place where advertisers could let the LGBTQ community know that their patronage is welcome at their places of business. METROSOURCE has been distributed nationally since the mid-1990s, and continues, 30 years later, as one of the largest LGBTQ publications in the United States. We plan to keep that original vision alive and well and continue covering popular culture, travel, health, fitness, entertaining, design, finance and telling the stories of gay and gay-friendly people. So, whether you are in New York, Los Angeles, or points in between, we hope you will enjoy all that METROSOURCE has to offer. METROSOURCE’s longevity, is due in part to the initial love dedication to the brand, and also because recent studies have shown that print is still the dominant medium to reach the LGBTQ consumer. Our commitment to print, backed with digital, social media, events, and more, provides a wonderful mix with something for every LGBTQ consumer. METROSOURCE connects our readers, our community, our supporters, and our vision for the future. Supporting one-another in our community is key to a united voice in achieving equality for all. I am personally committed to engaging the community and giving back through charities, non-profits and businesses. Like many of us, I have marched in the streets, gotten married (before and after it was legal to do so), and given time, energy and money to causes that support and embody LGBTQ causes and principles. Let’s be out and proud every day and continue to strive for equality for all. I invite you to follow METROSOURCE as we celebrate our 30th year. Share this issue with a friend. Send us a tweet. Tag us in your photos. Celebrate life! ■
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METROSOURCE.COM
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February/March 2020 | VOLUME 31, NO. 1
CONTENTS
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PRODUCTION PHOTO COURTESY OF TOM GOSS • CIGAR COURTESY OF DRUMMER MAGAZINE • DAVID KNIGHT COURTESY OF ALL MAN MOVIE • POTOMAC PLAZA AT MGM NATIONAL HARBOR COURTESY MGM
46 24 30
24 TOM GOSS HOW THE GAY TROUBADOUR’s World Travels Finally
Brought Him Face to Face.
30 INTERNATIONAL MALE A PAIR OF DOCUMENTARIANS EXPLORE the Sudden
Rise and Fall of the Gay Fashion Bible.
36 DRUMMER MAGAZINE THE RESURRECTION OF THE MAGAZINE that is a
celebration of masculine, gay leather sexuality, free from misogyny, transphobia and racism.
46 TRAVEL MGM NATIONAL HARBOR living high above the fray in a
world designed for entertainment and escape.
ON THE COVER PHOTO BY FRANZ SZONY
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5
52 CULTURE
5 PETE BUTTIGIEG As the first serious gay contender for a major party’s nomination, Buttigieg finished at the top of the Iowa caucuses, second in New Hampshire and third in Nevada.
14 SCREEN Dancing through life films.
19 FINANCE The cost of separating.
20 BOOKS The art of looking back.
22 MUSIC Androgynous, British electro-pop crooner, husband-and-wife indie duo and country stars dismissing conservatism, music is full of options
BODY 12 METRO HIV Prep without prescription.
42 HEALTH Stand up to bullying day. Giving up the ghost.
VIEWS
2 EDITOR’S LETTER
Hello Its a Pleasure to meet you!
13 DIARY Wade grows up seeing sports fandom as a way to fit in – until he realizes he’s part of a group where it leaves him left out. 52 LAST CALL Eureka O’Hara is back
THIS PAGE: PETE BUTTIGIEG BY SHUTTERSTOCK • MURALS OF NEW YORK CITY” IMAGERY COURTESY RIZZOLI/ JOSHUA MCHUGH • PLUM COCKTAIL PORTRAIT PHOTO COURTESY OF TOM DIXON
DEPARTMENTS
February/March 2020 | VOLUME 31, NO. 1
THIS PAGE: PHOTO COURTESY OF PETEFORAMERICA.COM
POLITICS VIEWS
BY KEVIN PHINNEY
AS THE FIRST SERIOUS GAY CONTENDER for a major party’s nomination, Buttigieg finished at the top of the Iowa caucuses, second in New Hampshire and third in Nevada. He’s been the subject of scorn from the religious right and recently weathered attacks from radio reactionary (and Presidential Medal of Freedom winner) Rush Limbaugh. Each time, Buttigieg has batted them away and insisted that his orientation has nothing to do with how he’d run the Oval Office. At the same time, he’s also been attacked on the left — not only by more liberal candidates for his million-dollar donors — but by segments of the LGBTQ community who somehow don’t believe he’s quite “gay enough” to represent them. Buttigieg is taking each hurdle as it comes. This mayor of South Bend, Indiana is in it to win it, and Mayor Pete isn’t going anywhere any time soon. He’s a Harvard graduate, a Rhodes scholar and a veteran of the war in Afghanistan. At 37, he’s barely old enough to run for the office (the required age is 35), and if elected, he’d be the youngest ever to serve. He’s also such a warm and affable apple pie kind of guy, you’d suspect Donald Trump eats people like him for brunch. We spoke to him last year in between stops on the campaign trail.
WHAT HE’D PRIORITIZE METROSOURCE: Clearly you don’t want to be identified as a single-issue candidate just because you’re gay. What would you prioritize in the first days of a Buttigieg administration? Buttigieg: The first priority must be democracy itself. I don’t think we’re going to be able to solve most of our major policy issues if we don’t first improve our political system where those issues come to get heard. That means everything from redistricting reform and addressing money in politics to making sure our democracy is more democratic by reconsidering the electoral college and looking at statehood for a place like D.C.and making sure people in the territories have equal rights. Every generation up until now has seen America grow more democratic, not less, and I don’t want ours to be the first where the reverse is true — but we’re on track for that if nothing changes. So, I think democracy is front and center. I’ve talked a lot about ways to enhance freedom as well. The reason I believe in making sure we have universal health care is because I think it makes people freer. I think there are a lot of other economic as well as equality considerations. And third, I think security. I think it’s time for Democrats to get back in the business of talking about security, especially when you have 21st century security challenges like climate security and election security that the other side doesn’t seem to care about at all. METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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GAYS AND TRANS AMERICANS IN THE SERVICE METROSOURCE: And when you talked with people in the service, how do they feel about working alongside gay and trans Americans? Buttigieg: Most people I served with couldn’t care less. They wanted to know if you were prepared to do your job, and if they could trust you to handle a weapon or read an intelligence brief or whatever else was expected of you. The military, if I’m not mistaken, is the largest employer of transgender Americans and these are Americans who just want a chance to do a good job and serve their country like everybody else. I
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do not understand what motivates this president to attack people who are willing to serve — fellow Americans — especially given that he was somebody who got out of his obligation to serve when it was his turn. I really became interested in public service when I was finishing high school and starting college. I did not realize that it would mean going back to my hometown and serving in local government, but that’s something I came to understand over time. But yeah: If you had asked me when I was younger in college, I would have believed that somebody could either be out or be in elected office, but not both.
THE MAKING OF THE MAYOR METROSOURCE: You lost your father not long ago. How did he help shape your worldview? Buttigieg: He was a scholar who really cared about how ideas worked in the real world. He studied a lot of social theory, literature — things that I can’t even quite understand. But to the extent that I could keep up with him, it was really being introduced to a world of ideas that had wound up causing many bad and good things to happen. He was an expert in 20th century and what had happened with fascism in Italy and a lot of other movements that really show what’s at stake not only in politics but the world of ideas and the political impact those ideas can have. METROSOURCE: It seems the cultural fabric of our country is more frayed now than at any time since the Vietnam era. What can you do to unite us? Buttigieg: Well, I hope that my story can transcend some of those divisions. I’m somebody who is a progressive Democrat, but who lives in a red state. I’m somebody who believes in a lot of maybe more traditionally conservative values like faith and family and freedom but believes that those values are best served by progressive policies. And I’m looking forward to do being able to do what — hopefully — what I was able to do here at home, which is to draw a lot of support from Independents
PHOTOS 6-7 BY SHUTTERSTOCK
POLITICS VIEWS
METROSOURCE: One difference between you and Donald Trump is that you did serve in the military. How did that experience help you prepare to become Commander-in-Chief? Buttigieg: First, it gives me a very intimate understanding of what’s at stake when a president orders young men and women to go to war, having been among those young men and women. I think it also gave me a sense of just how complex and important our structure of alliances has been. We were in a true coalition environment. And the destruction of American alliances in the last few years really does put American lives at risk, and the next president will have a lot of work to do to repair and enhance America’s role as a leader in the world. I believe that you can either resent the rest of the world, or you can lead it; but you can’t do both. And we need to make the right choice in order to be a safer country for the next generation. Third and maybe most importantly, it was just an experience that brought me together with a lot of other Americans — people from very different backgrounds; very different political views and we learned to trust each other with our lives. And I think we need more of that nationally, but it shouldn’t require going to war. It’s one of those reasons I think national service is something we really need to find a way to expand in our country.
and Republicans. Not so much by pretending to be more conservative than I really am, but by focusing on reality, on results on lived experience and on the values that we do share.
WHOSE INDIANA IS IT, ANYWAY? METROSOURCE: While you’re looking to find common ground between us, another Indiana politician named Mike Pence is doing his best to practice the politics of division. Buttigieg: Look, I think what really matters is whether our leadership pulls Americans apart or brings them together. In an odd way, Mike Pence helped unify Indiana around LGBT issues in the sense that Republicans and Democrats, mayors from both parties, business leaders — even organizations like NASCAR and the NCAA — all stood up to him on the so-called ‘religious freedom’ bill and said, ‘that’s not who we are.’ So, while it was divisive in one sense, it brought out the best in many of us. We responded and stood up to say that we believe our state is better when its inclusive and when everybody’s made to feel welcome.
won’t last forever if the American people don’t send a message that we want leaders who lead us in the right direction and represent us better. You know, one of the things that kept me safe when I was overseas was not only my armor and my weaponry, but just the fact that more people than not looked up to America. If we lose that, then that does put our security at risk.
METROSOURCE: Some say America is now a laughingstock around the world, since Donald Trump has alienated one ally after another and cozied up to dictators. Buttigieg: I think that in an increasingly networked world, both good and bad ideas become more contagious. And the real dynamic that’s driving a lot of this is a false promise that’s being offered and that’s attractive to some, which is a promise to turn back the clock. In Europe, that often mean ethnically; in the U.S., it often means economically. But the bottom line is, there’s no turning back the clock. And I don’t think you can ever have an honest politics that revolves around the word ‘again.’
WORLD TURNING METROSOURCE: As I’m sure you know, fascism and nationalism are gaining in popularity elsewhere. It’s as though technology moves briskly along, and human nature remains stubbornly the same. A lot of the world looks politically and socially very similar to the 1930s. Buttigieg: Well, I’ve spent a lot of time in different parts of the world, including Europe and the Arab world. And what I’ve seen is that people, even if they’re very skeptical of American governments and American leaders, still think warmly of American people. That is being put to the test and it
METROSOURCE: You’ve been abroad and served overseas. What do you think are the key elements to restoring the country’s reputation with our allies, competitors and adversaries? Buttigieg: It’s particularly important for us to establish, both through moral consistency and through concrete measures like U.S. aid, that we are prepared to carry a leadership role in the future. Especially at a time when — whether you’re looking at a place like Saudi Arabia that’s considered an American ally — or a place like Russia, or a competitor like China, or you see what’s going on in some parts of Europe. It seems like commitments to freedom and democracy are in the retreat. METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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POLITICS METROSOURCE: Donald Trump has no trouble or shame when it comes to objectifying people and reducing them to perceived flaws. How do you plan to cope with the insults that are bound to come your way in a presidential contest? Buttigieg: Well, I’ve had a fair amount of batting practice over the course of my life when it comes to dealing with bullies. And I’m not that worried about it. I think the more the conversation is about him, the less it’s about us; the less it’s about people going through everyday life in places like South Bend and across America. One of the unfortunate attributes of this presidency is that it’s a bit like a computer virus. It ties up all our processing power and makes it hard for us to think or do anything else. But at the end of the day, it’s not about him. I think he’s a symptom more than a cause of a political and economic system that’s let a lot of Americans down, and really does need to be changed in a number of deep ways in order to serve us well for the years ahead. I think we live in a moment when the disruption that people are experiencing in the economy goes beyond income. It’s income, but it’s a lot more than that. If you lose your position in the industrial economy that’s been steady for most of your life, and you’re told by some wellmeaning policy maker like me that you just need to get some retraining and we’ll make you a whole new person, that may or may not be consistent with how you view yourself. A job is more than a paycheck. It’s how we understand how we fit into the world. In an era where our relationship to the economy is changing — especially because of automation and technology, let alone things like globalization — that’s going to continue and it’s going to accelerate.
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And so if you lose that sense of community and identity and purpose that used to come from a lifelong relationship with a single employer, which is something that’s happening to a lot of people in my part of the industrial Midwest, something has to take that place. And there can be some very healthy responses to that, by allowing things like community and family and faith to play a greater role in how you define yourself relative to a lifelong career at a single employer. If we don’t build up those things, then you’re going to get the alternative. And there have been some very ugly alternatives that have been offered and one of them has been, frankly, white identity politics, and it brings us to a pretty problematic place as a country.
LOOK AT THE RESUMÉ METROSOURCE: So, if this were a closing statement at a presidential debate, what would you say in conclusion about why you should be elected the next President of the United States? Buttigieg: Well, look: there’s something very audacious, almost obscene, about any human being thinking they could handle the responsibilities of that office. And yet everybody who’s had that office has been a mortal human being with whatever abilities and experience they brought to the table. I think the experience of a mayor is extremely relevant; I would argue perhaps more relevant than being a member of the legislative body in Washington right now. Because a mayor is on the front lines of government. You’re an executive with day to day responsibility and could be handling anything at any given moment, from an economic development deal in an industrial park to a decision on activating the
PHOTOS 8-9 BY SHUTTERSTOCK
VIEWS
DONALD FIGHTS DIRTY
Emergency Operations Center to deal with a weather emergency. Every minute of the job, you are on the line in some way. It reflects both the day to day aspects of executive leadership and the more symbolic ones, which have to do with holding a community or group of people together and summoning their highest values. I think a mayor of a city of any size has had to do that many times, and I think that’s an experience that’s especially relevant today to the demands of the presidency. METROSOURCE: So, let’s ask the question that could pass through the minds of many straight Americans as your campaign reaches out: How is Pete Buttigieg being gay going to impact his being president? Buttigieg: Well, my marriage happens to be same sex. That’s also probably the most normal thing about my life. It holds me down to Earth and it widens my perspective and it’s something I have in common with people who are married who are not gay. I’ll also say that as someone whose marriage exists by the grace of a single vote on the Supreme Court, I have a deep understanding of how political choices affect everyday life. And that’s an understanding I carry with me not only when thinking about LGBTQ issues, but just more generally when thinking about what’s at stake in American politics and policy. I tell this story at length in my book, which is out today called Shortest Way Home, so if anybody wants to get a deeper sense of what that was like, that would be the place to look. But to make a long story short, we met on a dating app called Hinge. And I’m glad that I clicked the right button because as soon as I met him, I knew that I’d met somebody special. Our first date was a pint at an Irish pub followed by a baseball game in South Bend. It didn’t take long to realize that something special had happened.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL METROSOURCE: Doubtless there are some who will say that your run, should you decide to make it, will be really a symbolic quest to shatter a glass ceiling for LGBTQ people. But the way you’re talking, you have some expectation you could win. Buttigieg: Yeah… I just don’t see how you can do something like this — something that dominates your life in the way that running for an office like this does — that puts you out there and requires so much from you and a whole team of people and countless supporters. I don’t think you can do that unless you can see a path and you’re prepared to win and hold the office you’re running for. I understand that this is an underdog project, but I think it’s a good season for underdog projects and for newcomers. And based on the early response we’ve gotten just on the exploratory committee; we think there’s a lot of other people who view it the same way we do. I’d say all the signs are pointing in the same direction, and we’re really All Systems Go now.
PeteforAmerica.com is our website and we’re very eager for people to add their names so that we can ask people to volunteer when we need it. And, in fundraising. We don’t have the sort of gilded fundraising base that a senator from one of America’s biggest cities might have. We’re really counting on grassroots support from people who, for whatever number of reasons, believe it makes sense for us to be part of this conversation. And it wouldn’t hurt if somebody who wants to be supportive got a copy of the book too. You’re going to hear us talking a lot about freedom and demonstrating that freedom to live a life of your choosing — there’s a lot more to that than freedom from — freedom from regulation, freedom from taxes, freedom from government. It also has to do with building up people’s freedom to live a good life. And that means freedom to start a business even if it means changing jobs because you’re not afraid of losing your health care. It means freedom to marry the person you love. It means freedom to be who you are. It means freedom to organize for better working conditions. And I think it’s high time that people on my side of the aisle got comfortable once again talking about freedom. ■ METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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Important Facts About DOVATO
This is only a brief summary of important information about DOVATO and does not replace talking to your healthcare provider about your condition and treatment. What is the Most Important Information I Should Know about DOVATO? If you have both human immunodeficiency virus-1 (HIV-1) and hepatitis B virus (HBV) infection, DOVATO can cause serious side effects, including: • Resistant HBV infection. Your healthcare provider will test you for HBV infection before you start treatment with DOVATO. If you have HIV-1 and hepatitis B, the hepatitis B virus can change (mutate) during your treatment with DOVATO and become harder to treat (resistant). It is not known if DOVATO is safe and effective in people who have HIV-1 and HBV infection. • Worsening of HBV infection. If you have HIV-1 and HBV infection, your HBV may get worse (flare-up) if you stop taking DOVATO. A “flare-up” is when your HBV infection suddenly returns in a worse way than before. Worsening liver disease can be serious and may lead to death. ° Do not run out of DOVATO. Refill your prescription or talk to your healthcare provider before your DOVATO is all gone. ° Do not stop DOVATO without first talking to your healthcare provider. If you stop taking DOVATO, your healthcare provider will need to check your health often and do blood tests regularly for several months to check your liver. What is DOVATO? DOVATO is a prescription medicine that is used without other antiretroviral medicines to treat HIV-1 infection in adults who have not received antiretroviral medicines in the past, and without known resistance to the medicines dolutegravir or lamivudine. HIV-1 is the virus that causes Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). It is not known if DOVATO is safe and effective in children. Who should not take DOVATO? Do Not Take DOVATO if You: • have ever had an allergic reaction to a medicine that contains dolutegravir or lamivudine. • take dofetilide. What should I tell my healthcare provider before using DOVATO? Tell your healthcare provider about all of your medical conditions, including if you: • have or have had liver problems, including hepatitis B or C infection. • have kidney problems. • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. One of the medicines in DOVATO (dolutegravir) may harm your unborn baby. ° Your healthcare provider may prescribe a different medicine than DOVATO if you are planning to become pregnant or if pregnancy is confirmed in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. ° If you can become pregnant, your healthcare provider will perform a pregnancy test before you start treatment with DOVATO. ° If you can become pregnant, you should consistently use effective birth control (contraception) during treatment with DOVATO. ° Tell your healthcare provider right away if you are planning to become pregnant, you become pregnant, or think you may be pregnant during treatment with DOVATO. ©2019 ViiV Healthcare or licensor. DLLADVT190031 November 2019 Produced in USA.
Learn more about Kalvin and DOVATO at DOVATO.com
Tell your healthcare provider about all of your medical conditions, including if you: (cont’d) • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. Do not breastfeed if you take DOVATO. ° You should not breastfeed if you have HIV-1 because of the risk of passing HIV-1 to your baby. ° One of the medicines in DOVATO (lamivudine) passes into your breastmilk. ° Talk with your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Some medicines interact with DOVATO. Keep a list of your medicines and show it to your healthcare provider and pharmacist when you get a new medicine. • You can ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist for a list of medicines that interact with DOVATO. • Do not start taking a new medicine without telling your healthcare provider. Your healthcare provider can tell you if it is safe to take DOVATO with other medicines. What are Possible Side Effects of DOVATO? DOVATO can cause serious side effects, including: • Those in the “What is the Most Important Information I Should Know about DOVATO?” section. • Allergic reactions. Call your healthcare provider right away if you develop a rash with DOVATO. Stop taking DOVATO and get medical help right away if you develop a rash with any of the following signs or symptoms: fever; generally ill feeling; tiredness; muscle or joint aches; blisters or sores in mouth; blisters or peeling of the skin; redness or swelling of the eyes; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue; problems breathing. • Liver problems. People with a history of hepatitis B or C virus may have an increased risk of developing new or worsening changes in certain liver tests during treatment with DOVATO. Liver problems, including liver failure, have also happened in people without a history of liver disease or other risk factors. Your healthcare provider may do blood tests to check your liver. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following signs or symptoms of liver problems: your skin or the white part of your eyes turns yellow (jaundice); dark or “tea-colored” urine; light-colored stools (bowel movements); nausea or vomiting; loss of appetite; and/or pain, aching, or tenderness on the right side of your stomach area. • Too much lactic acid in your blood (lactic acidosis). Lactic acidosis is a serious medical emergency that can lead to death. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the following symptoms that could be signs of lactic acidosis: feel very weak or tired; unusual (not normal) muscle pain; trouble breathing; stomach pain with nausea and vomiting; feel cold, especially in your arms and legs; feel dizzy or lightheaded; and/or a fast or irregular heartbeat. • Lactic acidosis can also lead to severe liver problems, which can lead to death. Your liver may become large (hepatomegaly) and you may develop fat in your liver (steatosis). Tell your healthcare provider right away if you get any of the signs or symptoms of liver problems which are listed above under “Liver problems.” You may be more likely to get lactic acidosis or severe liver problems if you are female or very overweight (obese).
SO MUCH GOES INTO WHO I AM HIV MEDICINE IS ONE PART OF IT. Reasons to ask your doctor about DOVATO: DOVATO can help you reach and then stay undetectable* with just 2 medicines in 1 pill. That means fewer medicines† in your body while taking DOVATO
You can take it any time of day with or without food (around the same time each day)—giving you flexibility
DOVATO is a once-a-day complete treatment for adults who are new to HIV-1 medicine. Results may vary. *Undetectable means reducing the HIV in your blood to very low levels (less than 50 copies per mL). † As compared with 3-drug regimens. KALVIN‡ Living with HIV
What are Possible Side Effects of DOVATO (cont’d)? • Changes in your immune system (Immune Reconstitution Syndrome) can happen when you start taking HIV-1 medicines. Your immune system may get stronger and begin to fight infections that have been hidden in your body for a long time. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you start having new symptoms after you start taking DOVATO. • The most common side effects of DOVATO include: headache; diarrhea; nausea; trouble sleeping; and tiredness. These are not all the possible side effects of DOVATO. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch, or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Where Can I Find More Information? • Talk to your healthcare provider or pharmacist. • Go to DOVATO.com or call 1-877-844-8872, where you can also get FDA-approved labeling. October 2019 DVT:2PI-2PIL Trademark is owned by or licensed to the ViiV Healthcare group of companies.
Compensated by ViiV Healthcare
‡
Could DOVATO be right for you? Ask your doctor today.
PREP WITHOUT PRESCRIPTION
12
STATE SENATOR SCOTT WIENER OF SAN FRANCISCO
came out of the“PrEP Closet”five years ago, publishing a column disclosing his daily Truvada regimen in hopes it would raise awareness about the then-relatively new drug. “It makes no sense to me that we haven’t done everything in our power to make sure everyone knows about these medications and can easily access them,” Wiener told Metrosource recently.“PrEP access has been a passion for me for years, and I have an obligation to do everything in my power to end new HIV infections.” This year, Wiener has been ramping up his efforts to improve access to PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) via a legislative measure that, if enacted, would allow anyone in California to access PrEP without a physician prescription. Wiener and San Diego Assemblymember Todd Gloria’s legislation to dismantle barriers to access such preventative medications has overcome some, but all hurdles, passing the State Senate and two Assembly Committees to date (and at press time was awaiting a vote by the Assembly Committee on Appropriations). The bill authorizes pharmacists to furnish PrEP and PEP (postexposure prophylaxis) to patients similar to how they can already distribute emergency contraceptives and the birth control pills without prescriptions, and bars insurance companies from requiring patients to obtain prior authorization before using insurance benefits to obtain either medication. “We know we can end the HIV epidemic thanks to these drugs like PrEP and PEP,”said Josh Stickney, Communications Manager at Equality California, a co-sponsor of the measure.“Right now, the issue is access. Access for millions of Californians who should be on this drug who are at risk of exposure, and we are proud to partner with these openly gay champions in our legislature.” Legislators stress that the measure would broaden the number of places where people can access PrEP and PEP, particularly in communities that lack access to primary care physicians, and motivate people FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
METROSOURCE.COM
who aren’t comfortable seeing a physician. Wiener notes that it also will benefit those who may have been exposed to HIV, allowing them to quickly access PEP at a pharmacy, instead of having to visit a physician or emergency room. To be effective, a person must start PEP within 72 hours. “I’ve seen too many people get sick and die and have seen the impact of the disease on my community,” Wiener says. “The fact that a single pill a day can almost entirely eliminate the risk of HIV and the fact that a 28-day course can stop HIV from taking hold in someone’s body, that is just incredible.” The California measure is the first of its kind in that nation. New York adopted a pilot program allowing pharmacists to dispense a 7-day supply of PEP (though, not PrEP). But the proposed legislation goes further, allowing pharmacists to provide the full 28-day course of PEP without a prescription and the first 60 days of Scott Wiener PrEP without a prescription. Initially, physician organizations—particularly the California Medical Association—contested the measure, but Wiener praised the organization for recently withdrawing its opposition. Supporters stress that the more people who can access PrEP and PEP, the fewer new infections. Data suggests that only about 9,000 people in California were taking PrEP in 2016, even though between 220,000 and 240,000 residents could have been, according to the California Department of Public Health’s Office of AIDS. Additionally, a recent report found that while new HIV infections have decreased, the state is still experiencing a significant disparity between black and Latino gay men and their white counterparts. Latino men were nearly twice as likely to contract HIV as white men, and black men were more than three times as likely. “California is leading the way on a lot of things when it comes to LGBTQ equality,” Stickney says. “If California can continue to lead the way in getting to zero new HIV transmissions and deaths, and zero stigma, we are hopeful the rest of the country will follow suit.” ■
THIS PAGE: SAN FRANCISCO STATE SENATOR SCOTT WIENER, COURTESY PHOTO • TRUVADA IMAGE, COURTESY OF GILEAD
BODY
METROHIV
BY JEFF SIMMONS
STOCK PHOTO COPYRIGHT: PHOTO BY RAWPIXEL
I’VE BEEN AN AVID SPORTS FAN since I was a little boy growing up in
the Ozarks. My father tried his darndest to make me a good athlete. He played catch and tossed a football. I never fit the mold. My body was soft as a Twinkie, and I had reflexes like a Slinky. My preferences leaved toward reading books and eyeing sweaty, shirtless boys. My father’s dream of having the next Larry Bird ended quickly. So instead, my father focused on teaching me to be a fan of the games. When it came to baseball, he noted the beauty of a knuckleball the importance of sacrificing to move a runner up a base. He taught me the way a zone defense works in basketball. And I learned how running a football can open up the passing game. I grew into an incredible sports fan. It helped me bond - with my father, then with college fraternity brothers and work colleagues. As a gay man who grew up in the 1970s, came of age in the 1980s and started my adult career in the 1990s, sports made me feel like I belonged in worlds when I too often felt like an outsider. It felt nice to be a part of something bigger than me. When I met Gary, he called me a “reverse stereotype” because of my love for and knowledge of sports. He was stunned that I followed the St. Louis Cardinals, St. Louis Blues, St. Louis (now LA) Rams, Missouri Tigers and Northwestern Wildcats. I followed them just as avidly as The Real Housewives. The first time I met Gary’s father, a St. Louis Cardinals game was playing on his TV. Gary’s father face turned to shock when I sat down to watch the game with him. He was stunned when I knew as much about the game and team as he did. That’s largely because Gary knows nothing about sports. “What inning is it?” he asks when I’m watching football. “Why don’t they wear short-shorts like they did when I was growing up?” he asks when I watch basketball. Usually, when I watch a game, Gary watches Lifetime in another room. “I have to keep it a little gay in this house,” Gary will explain.
Soon, he’ll do so by screaming when a character played by one of the Duff sisters is kidnapped. I used to take Gary to football games in St. Louis. And he spent the entire game mimicking the cheerleaders. Meanwhile, his only goal at a Cardinals game has been to see how much junk food he could ingest. Last year, the Rams’ journey to the Super Bowl was a dream come true for me. I had watched the Rams go to the Super Bowl twice in St. Louis. Now that I wintered in Palm Springs and ventured to LA frequently, I felt like the Rams were again my team. “Why don’t we host a Super Bowl party to celebrate?” Gary asked. “Remember the last Super Bowl party you threw?” I replied. Gary ducked his head as if I were tossing a football at him. The guest list had been the two of us. The theme was “Cheer 2000!”This consisted of Gary standing in front of the TV in a cheerleading skirt holding pom-poms and yelling things like: “We’ve got spirit! Yes, we do! We’ve got spirit, how ‘bout you? ”And who could forget the timeless classic,“How funky is your chicken, how loose is your goose?” I spent the entire game yelling,“For the love of God, move!” “It couldn’t be worse than last time,” Gary finally persuaded me. But it was. We invited two dozen gay men. They arrived looking as if they were going to a New Year’s Eve party in the Hamptons. They stood in front of the TV drinking, laughing and gossiping. And they stopped to watch the TV only when the commercials came on. The Rams played like hell and lost to the Patriots. I was irritated at Gary for making me throw the party and beyond depressed. But then my friends made me do a shot and started a game of “Would You Rather?”that always ended with Tom Brady as the answer. It culminated with a cheer-off that Gary won. In the end, I won, too. Despite annoying the hell out of me, my friends lifted my spirits. They also reminded me I was no longer an outsider. I was part of a community even bigger and better than sports. And this team would always be my biggest cheerleaders. ■ METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
VIEWS
Wade grows up seeing sports fandom as a way to fit in – until he realizes he’s part of a group where it leaves him left out. BY WADE ROUSE
DIARY
MY BIGGEST CHEERLEADERS
13
SCREEN CULTURE
DANCING THROUGH LIFE
BY JONATHAN ROCHE
AND THEN WE DANCED Southern state). In recent years, the nation has been featured several times in American news for its religious and cultural intolerance of homosexuality. So viewers may worry from the get-go for its main character, young Merab. Yes, he has a girlfriend, who is also his dance partner. They’ve been in rigorous training for the Georgian National Ensemble since the age of 10. And, yes he can hang with the herd of other male dancers. But one look at him, and it’s clear that he is different. When a handsome newcomer, Irakli, appears in the dance studio Merab finds in him both a fierce rival and an object of desire. As their relationship blossoms, so does Merab. But even as Merab comes to vibrant new life, he must also struggle to support his poor family (including his reckless, party-boy brother). All the while, he keeps dancing his heart out to win a position in the professional ensemble, which seems like the only way path to better circumstances. This quality production makes an - at first - very foreign place seem familiar through the detail and realness of it characters. It’s definitely on my shortlist of the finest gay films of 2019. Perhaps best of all, it is filled with dance. This includes both Georgian traditional dance (which is pretty impressive to watch) and Merab dancing to the beat of his own drum - which means sometime wearing a Sia-esque wig while gyrating to Robyn’s“Honey.” THE WORD: As story as uplifting as its many leaps into the air. COMING TO: Theaters
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METROSOURCE.COM
THIS PAGE: AND THEN WE DANCED PHOTO COURTESY MUSIC BOX FILMS
SWEDEN’S ENTRY FOR THE ACADEMY AWARDS IS A STORY ENTIRELY SET IN GEORGIA (the Asian country, not the
oozes with details that emotionally charge quiet scenes which would otherwise seem mundane. Jane tries to keep her head down as she slaves away. But she suffers indignities and degradations with dispiriting regularity. People - from janitors to passing celebrities like Patrick Wilson - at the office treats her like she’s not even there. Two male assistants that sit across from her look at her with a fascinating mix of pity and revulsion. Meanwhile, her boss in the next room never shows his face at all - remaining only a belligerent voice on the phone. Jane is prepared to pay her dues, but as the unscrupulous practices of her employer reach new lows, she seeks help from Human Resources (Matthew Macfadyen -Succession), only to discover new depths of help-
THIS PAGE: THE ASSISTANT PHOTO COURTESY TY JOHNSON / BLEECKER STREET • THE TRAITOR PHOTO COURTESY SONY PICTURES CLASSICS
lessness. Director Kitty Green displays a mas-
THE ASSISTANT
tery of showing-not-telling. She crafts a story
WHO WOULD HAVE SUSPECTED ONE DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PERSONAL AS-
Julia Garner carries it off with an exceptionally
SISTANT could be so compelling or so maddening. Fresh out of college Jane (Julia
naturalistic performance. THE WORD: The
Garner - Ozark) is working a great job opportunity as an assistant to a powerful,
Assistant is reminiscent of 1994’s indie classic
Weinstein-esque, entertainment mogul at his offices in downtown New York. On
Swimming With Sharks – if you replaced the
the surface her job seems pretty mind-numbing. It’s mostly tasks like making
ultimate over-the-top horrible boss (Kevin
coffee, supplying the copy machine, taking phone messages, etc. Yet witnessing
Spacey) with something even more brutal.
this is never boring in The Assistant. This remarkably focused and nuanced film
COMING TO: Theaters
that rings true to real life in every scene. And
THE TRAITOR
him back to home. Then Buscetta does something unthinkable in his world: he
WHEN IT COMES TO MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT THE ITALIAN MAFIA, it’s dif-
starts ratting on the other bosses. Working with Judge Giovanni Falcone, Buscetta
ficult to break the mold. Legendary films like The Godfather, Goodfellas and Don-
testifies in court that the mafia is no mere bunch of gangs but rather a single entity.
nie Brasco make rough competition. For the most part they work the same angle,
(At the time, this was not widely accepted by authorities.) At this point, the film
showing both the romantic and soul-destroying aspects of organized crime. So does
seems to morph into a court-room drama, but a surprisingly colorful one. From
The Traitor. Like those films, it’s about real gangsters. But unlike them, it’s actually
there the film follows Buscetta into hiding in the U.S. and through the rest of his
an Italian film (and also Italy’s Best Foreign Film Academy Award contender). In it,
life, complete with all the usual witness-protection paranoia. The story’s accuracy
Tommaso Buscetta - a boss-level member of the mafia - has tried to get out. But,
makes it compelling, but what really holds the film together is Favino’s performance
in true Cosa Nostra form, they pulled him back in. Seeking to escape the violence
as Buscetta, who the audience quickly comes to respect, and then genuinely like.
raging over the booming heroin trade in the early 1980s, Buscetta moves to Brazil.
There’s also a massive explosion at one point so realistic and shocking that it might
However, his former ‘friends’ and associates go after the relatives he left behind in
literally take your breath away. THE WORD: Solid film-making by director Marco
Italy. And Brazilian authorities discover his true identity, arrest him, and extradite
Bellocchio, and an educational must for fans of mafia films. COMING TO: Theaters METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
15
SCREEN CULTURE
OLYMPIC DREAMS
awkward Ezra whom she meets at the dining hall. Between scenes of them wan-
A FILM ABOUT TWO LONELY HEARTS WHO MEET AT THE 2018 WINTER
dering around together backstage of a real Olympics are scenes of both characters
OLYMPICS in PyeongChang South Korea, and the first film ever shot inside the
separately interacting with real athletes from the games. Ezra affably breaks through
olympic village. The novelty of this setting elevates what is otherwise basically just
several language barriers to chat up the folks in his dental chair, while Penelope
a sweet and highly improvised Lost in Translation-esque tale, but the appeal of the
meets a freestyle skier named Gus, played by openly gay athlete and YouTuber, Gus
film’s two leads helps a lot as well. Nick Kroll (Sausage Party, Big Mouth, Sing)
Kenworthy (American Horror Story: 1984). One of the best things about the olym-
plays Ezra, a dentist who, while on a break from his fiancé, volunteers to provide
pic village is that everyone is pretty darn fit, and with everyone being so young,
dental services to the olympians. Meanwhile Alexi Pappas, who is both a film-
strong, and attractive rumor has that it becomes a fairly frisky place. After Penelope
maker (Tracktown) and a Greek-American long distance athlete who competed
finishes barking up the wrong tree with Gus they become friends, freeing her up to
in the 2016 summer olympics, plays Penelope, a young cross-country skier who’s
connect with the older and more cautious Ezra. The end is predictable but heartfelt,
come to compete for the United States. After Penelope’s event is over early in the
and though not a professional actress Pappas fits the film well. THE WORD: Indie
games she’s left to disappointedly sulk alone, but for the gregarious and yet equally
film meet Olympic grandeur. COMING TO: Theaters
LITTLE WOMEN FOLLOWING UP HER BIG SPLASH ONTO THE DIRECTING SCENE, 2017’S LADY BIRD, Greta Gerwig (Frances Ha) tackles and manages to refresh a beloved classic in both pacing and language somehow without sacrificing any of the story’s content or meaning. The novel by author Louisa May Alcott is in this with an equally star-studded cast. A strong ensemble is headed by Saoirse Ronan (Lady Bird) as Jo March the most spirited and literary of her family. However the story’s strength lies largely in the variety of lives the four March sisters make for themselves in 1860’s New England. Together with Jo the other sisters, Meg (Emma Watson - Harry Potter, Beauty and the Beast), Beth (Eliza Scanlen - Sharp Objects), and Amy (Florence Pugh - Midsommar) live with their mother Marmee (Laura Dern, who also shines in Gerwig’s partner’s film - Noah Baumbach’s Marriage Story). Across the road handsome young Laurie (Timothée Chalamet - Call Me By Your Name) lives with his lonely grandfather (Chris Cooper), and elsewhere in town resides rich old Aunt March, played by a little known actress named Meryl Streep. Tracy Letts (August: Osage County, Ford v. Ferrari) also deserves a mention for playing Jo’s publisher - Letts who elevates most everything he’s in plays an important role in the film’s structure as Gerwig wisely chooses to begin the story near it’s middle, and then crisply work her way back there from both ends. She updates a lot of the dialogue while deftly avoiding anachronism or loss of the story’s historical feel. Most of all she fills the tale with the joyful spirit that Alcott originally intended. THE WORD: Saoirse Ronan might win an Oscar for this, but Florence Pugh frequently steals the show. COMING TO: Video on Demand
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METROSOURCE.COM
THIS PAGE: OLYMPIC DREAMS PHOTO COURTESY IFC FILMS • LITTLE WOMEN PHOTO BY WILSON WEBB / COLUMBIA PICTURES
era perhaps better known for the 1994 film adaption which in my opinion Gerwig utterly exceeds, and
IN FABRIC IMAGINE YOU’RE A LONELY MIDDLE-AGED BRITISH LADY WITH A BORING JOB AT A BANK. You’re recently separated from your husband, and your
THIS PAGE: TBOMBSHELL PHOTOS BY BY HILARY BRONWYN GALE SMPSP / LIONSGATE • IN FABRIC PHOTOS COURTESY A24
son is already an adult, who’s dating a very tall and very weird older lady (Gwendoline Christie - Brienne from Game of Thrones) - so you really need get out of the house, and to get back in the dating game, but first you need to spice up your look. So you check out this department store where all the sales-women look a bit like witches dressed in victorian funereal garb, sporting foreign accents and talking to you in overly sophisticated english that is simultaneous confusing and yet also makes perfect sense. One of them sells you on an artery-red dress that makes you look pretty darn tasty,… and then your dark adventure begins. The dress looks good but it also causes a strange rash on your chest, and when put in the washing machine, it kinda destroys the machine. Then when the repair man comes and explains in detail what needs to be fixed, you start to slip into a stupor because of how mindnumbingly boring he is. Does this make any sense, have I lost you? Even if I have, In Fabric will not because it is truly marvelous-strange. Don’t expect the plot to add up to any kind of tidy sum, but do expect a lurid film that positively drips with style, intrigue, and the feeling that it comes about 50-years in the past. Acclaimed horror director Peter Strickland (the sumptuous sadomasochistic romance, The Duke of Burgundy) has definitely made one of the most unique and possibly one of the best films of 2019, and the protagonist is played beautifully by the wonderful Marianne Jean-Baptiste (Secrets & Lies). THE WORD: Both a dream and a nightmare, this film puts a new twist on the phrase ‘devil in a red dress’. COMING TO: Video on Demand
BOMBSHELL BOMBSHELL TELLS THE STORY OF THE FALL OF FOX NEW CHIEF EXECUTIVE ROGER AILES, but the story isn’t really his, it belongs to the women whom he used and abused, and in particular to Fox anchor Megan Kelly. The film opens with her, and her infamous clash with Donald Trump as she calls him out during a live debate for “having a problem with women”. The strength and current relevance of this opening are what pull the audience in, along with an uncannily good performance by Theron (as Kelly) that outshines the film as a whole. Still director Jay Roach (Austin Powers, Trumbo) and writer Charles Randolph (The Big Short) craft a film that really moves and engages, aided by Nicole Kidman playing ousted “Fox and Friends” host Gretchen Carlson, and Margot Robbie (I, Tonya) as an ambitious young producer who’s a fictionalize amalgamation of several women who worked under Ailes, who played well by John Lithgow in a fat suit, comes off as both creepy and cartoonish. We also get cameos of Richard Kind (Inside Out) as Rudi Giuliani, and Malcolm McDowell (A Clockwork Orange) as Rupert Murdoch, Connie Britton (Nashville) and Ailes’s wife, and Allison Janney (I, Tonya) as Susan Estrich. But after Bombshell’s three blonde-bombshell leading ladies the best role belongs to Kate McKinnon (SNL) playing a closeted liberal lesbian producer trapped at Fox News because she can’t get a new job while wearing the stain of her current one. THE WORD: A somewhat dazzling mix of important and perhaps overly-playful, but welltimed, and a magnificent role for Theron. COMING TO: Video on Demand
METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
17
MARGARET CHO PUTTING THE B IN LGBT BY ALEXANDER RODRIGUEZ
MARGARET CHO IS HANDS DOWN THE QUEEN OF MEDIA – film, stand
up, television, music, books, theatre, and now podcasting. She became an activist for LGBT rights, gender equality, sexual abuse victims, the homeless, racial diversity and more, before it was the popular Hollywood thing to do. She has five Grammy nominations and one Emmy nomination for work in comedy, acting and music – she’s taken selfies with Meryl Streep (televised live to millions), she’s marched in protests, survived a network sitcom and dated Quentin Tarantino. Some might argue that her comedy is vulgar, explicit and past political correctness – but you can’t deny the multitude of fans that follow her. Rolling Stone named her one of the 50 Best Stand Up Comics of All-Time. Starting from an unconventional home, her mother fled an arranged marriage, her father wrote joke books and her parents owned a gay bookstore in 1970’s Haight District in San Francisco – to say her beginnings were colorful is an understatement. At a very early age, she worked as a phone sex operator and a dominatrix. Hitting the scene hard early on, she won a contest opening for Jerry Seinfield, hit the college circuit playing over 300 shows in two years, performed on The Arsenio Hall Show, and even performed on Bob Hope’s primetime special. She has a relationship with classic comedy greats as well as current contemporaries – she got to hang out at The Friars Club during the 80’s and 90’s and was mentored by
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How is Margaret Cho the person and Margaret Cho the persona most different? I guess I’m a pretty quiet and shy person. Part of what I do is about being really outgoing and I’m not really like that. I mean, I think most comedians are withdrawn people, we’re generally shy. You have been very open about your sobriety, making news that you lived in a sober living home for a while. What was your tipping point? I really loved being in the sober living home – I loved all the people I got to meet and lived with. You know, it was an important journey. I had an intervention! I didn’t have a choice. I had to go into rehab or face some pretty dire consequences. I didn’t have a tipping point myself; I was kind of forced into it. And I’m glad it happened. Your sitcom, All American Girl, is 25 years old! The cast recently got together to chat about the show and its place in TV history as the first time we saw an Asian driven family show. Do you think the show would have lasted longer if it was produced now? What would you have done differently? Maybe. I would have loved to do it now. It was way ahead of its time. I think I would have gone into cable, even though at that time cable wasn’t what it is now. It was a different time. Cable was not thought of in the same way, but it would have given me a lot more freedom to be myself as a performer. Because I was doing stand-up comedy on cable and able to say anything. What’s your motivation for your podcast, The Margaret Cho? I think it’s a lot of fun, and I already knew that. It’s a great chance to catch up with people that I never get to see, that I love so much – it’s hanging out and having fun with friends. How would you define your sexuality? I’m an old school bisexual, but then I also think that’s limiting because gender is more than just male and female. So, it’s not exactly the correct term but it’s something I appreciate that doesn’t get used a lot. Plus, I like saying “bi.” I just must know, what was it like filming an episode of Golden Palace? I loved Golden Girls and that I got to be there. Rue McClanahan humming in my ear… I had to sing on the show, and she hummed to me to get the pitch correct. It was so great she did that for me. I loved it. Where do you see yourself in five years? Hopefully doing a lot of comedy, movies, everything! ■ You can follow everything Margaret Cho on her website, margaretcho.com and listen to a new podcast episode every Tuesday: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-margaret-cho/id1470515305.
THIS PAGE: MARGARET CHO PHOTO BY LUKE FONTANA
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her comedy father Robin Williams and her comedy mother, Joan Rivers, with whom she celebrated a very close relationship. She’s appeared in random places - with John Travolta in Face/Off, guest starred on Golden Palace, documentaries, and enjoyed a multi-year run on Lifetime’s Drop Dead Diva. Life hasn’t always been full of comedy. But she has persevered and even made her experiences the butt of her jokes. Her stories have inspired fans to come out, so to speak, with their own strength and voice.
THE COST OF
SEPARATING
landmark 2015 Supreme Court ruling that legalized same-sex marriage across the country. But it ushered in a new era of dissolving those very same unions. It turns out that same-sex couples usually pay twice as much for divorces as their heterosexual counterparts. That climbs to triple if children are involved. Because of the way marriage equality laws evolved, many gay and lesbian couples have had multiple relationship statuses. They may have started with a civil union. Later, they may have been domestic partners. And some finally also tied the knot. To add to the complexity, many same-sex couples were together for years, even decades before they were allowed to marry. That can be an expensive problem in a divorce. Most courtrooms will only divide assets starting from the time a couple actually got married. State laws vary. For example, those in civil unions may need to establish residency in the state where the union was performed in order to dissolve the relationship. But if you were legally married, you may now get divorced in any state. Here are some considerations when contemplating the complicated idea of divorce.
STOCK PHOTO COPYRIGHT: PHOTO BY RAWPIXEL
DURATION OF RELATIONSHIP Because same-sex marriage has only recently been recognized, it can be difficult to figure out the start date of a relationship. Should a couple’s entire co-habitation be considered part of the marriage? Consider a same-sex couple who has been together for 25 years and got married once it was legal to do so. When their relationship ends, how long was their marriage for the purposes of alimony/maintenance? And how does that influence what property will be on the table for just and equitable distribution? TAX ISSUES Even though the Supreme Court found the Federal Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional, issues persist for couples in domestic partnerships and civil unions. Many tax issues will persist for these couples regarding property distribution and alimony. This includes: Property Transfers - Transferring or distributing property between same-sex spouses may be subject to federal income tax Alimony/Spousal Maintenance Taxation - Spousal maintenance/alimony is typically tax-deductible by the payer, and taxable to the recipient.
However, divorced same-sex couples may not able to deduct maintenance/alimony payments Access Issues - Dividing retirement plans, in general, poses unique challenges for same-sex couples. In some instances, same-sex partners are not allowed access to information about their partner’s finances, such as pension or retirement accounts. RESIDENCY Same-sex couples may experience problems when they marry or enter into a civil union or state-registered domestic partnership if they have either (1) never lived in the state where married or registered, or (2) their relationship ends while living outside of that state. Most states have some kind of residency requirement, often requiring one or both people to reside in the state for a month prior to being able to file for divorce.
CULTURE
THE FIGHT FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY MAY HAVE CULMINATED in the
FINANCE
If you’re not careful when you enter into a committed relationship, the price of ending it could be much higher than heartbreak. BY JENNIFER DAY
LEGAL DISSOLUTION OF ALL LEGAL RELATIONSHIPS Many couples also may have gotten married or registered in multiple states or countries. When a couple is divorcing, they need to make sure to disclose all of these legal relationships to make sure that the court dissolves all of them. As difficult as the topic of divorce can be, once you’re sure that it’s make sure to know all of the facts, associated costs and seek local counsel when ready. HOPE Now to end on a positive note, here are some fabulous, long-term, gay and lesbian relationships that have stood the test of time:
Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner (Together 45 years, Married 6 years) George Takei and Brad Altman (Together 33 years, Married 11 years) Elton John and David Furnish (Together 26 years, Married 5 years) Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi (Together 15 years, Married 11 years) Cynthia Nixon and Christine Marinoni (Together 15 years, Married 7 years) Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka (Together 15 years, Married 5 years) ■
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THE ART OF LOOKING BACK
CULTURE
BOOKS
An artist revisits one of her first published collections of photography, and a lush book gives NYC’s famous murals a standing ovation. BY SEBASTIAN FORTINO
NAN GOLDIN IS AN OPENLY BISEXUAL PHOTOGRAPHIC
NAN GOLDIN - THE OTHER SIDE By Nan Goldin & Bea Rogers With Interviews by Sunny Suits & Joey Gabriel STEIDL; $55.00
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bodies, the AIDS epidemic, and the opioid crisis. Here, she revisits one of her first photography books which was released in 1993. In “The Other Side,” Goldin captures the stories of the drag queens and transgender friends she made in places as familiar as New York and Boston, and as far-flung as The Phillipines and Bangkok. In her words,“This book is about beauty. And about love for my friends.” In this new release, the photographs are coupled with interviews that reveal the stories of her subjects. Thus, we are not only seeing them through her lens but also meeting them in their own words. This may be the perfect time for such a masterpiece to be “remastered” (so to speak) – with RuPaul and his “girls” becoming household names and drag queens read stories to children in public libraries. That’s because Goldin was capturing drag as it was becoming more than just entertainment for bars and night clubs. It was ascending to a cultural phenomenon that extended beyond its original audiences. In addition, the original book chronicled the queer experience in the 1980s and 1990s at the height of the AIDS epidemic. So it serves as reminder that, though we have come a long way in terms of diagnosis, treatment and addressing stigma, there is still work to do. Though many of Goldin’s subjects have sadly left us, at least they can be celebrated for the beauty they possessed and shared – with Goldin’s lens and our eyes.
THIS PAGE: IMAGES FROM “TTHE ART OF LOOKING BACK” COURTESY STEIDL / NOKOLAI NAN GOLDIN & BEA ROGERS
ARTIST. Her main subjects include exploring LGBTQ
THIS PAGE: “MURALS OF NEW YORK CITY” IMAGERY COURTESY RIZZOLI/ JOSHUA MCHUGH
DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE? COULD YOU EVEN PICK JUST ONE? Have you
gaped in awe walking under the starry skies of the Main Concourse at Grand Central Terminal? Do remember Cher (as Loretta) proclaming the giant Chagalls at the Metropolitan Opera House “gaudy”? Even if only in transit or in a movie theater, chances are you have come into contact with more of New York’s great assemblage of public paintings than you realize. In this splendid book, we are reminded that if New York’s public works were gathered into one museum, it would undoubtedly be the greatest grouping of populist art in America. Or, in the words of Graydon Carter’s introduction, “That so many of the splendid examples of the muralist’s art are in New York is a blessing to anyone who lives in the city. In the pages of this splendid book, ... they come alive, beckoning in miniature for the reader to make the journey to the sources. As much as each painting tells a story, there is a story behind each painting.” What’s more, you can contemplate the majesty of certain of these walls and with drink in hand. “Old King Cole was a merry old soul,” the nursery rhyme tells us. So, next time you’re close to the Saint Regis Hotel, stop into the King Cole Bar where you can admire Maxwell Parrish’s imagining of him while sipping the bar’s signature cocktail: the house-invented Bloody Mary. Or you can stop for a sacred martini at the tony Carlyle Hotel. In the Carlyle Restaurant, formerly known as Bemelmans Bar, sippers and diners alike can enjoy the only public display of illustrator Ludwig Bemelmans work anywhere in the world! Both its mural-filled walls - and, whimsically, its lampshades - pay tribute to the magic and majesty of nearby central park. You may even be able to spot Bemelman’s most iconic creation Madeline, who famously stood in rows of “twelve little girls in two straight lines.” One can imagine her teacher, Miss Clavel, like any tourist traveling with children in New York, would surely be grateful to settle in here for an aperitif to wash away the cares of the day.
MURALS OF NEW YORK CITY: THE BEST OF NEW YORK’S PUBLIC PAINTINGS FROM BEMELMANS TO PARRISH By Glenn Palmer-Smith with an introduction by Graydon Carter and photographs by Joshua McHugh Rizzoli New York; $45.00 US
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GRIMES
MISS ANTHROPOCENE (4AD RECORDS): ON HER HIGHLY ANTICIPATED FIFTH STUDIO ALBUM, the otherworldly avant-pop act plans
LA ROUX
TENNIS
THE THIRD STUDIO RELEASE FROM THE ANDROGYNOUS,
THE BUZZY, HUSBAND-AND-WIFE INDIE DUO ARE ABOUT
British electro-pop crooner is out later this winter. Her first record in five years is a retro-tinged fantasy inspired heavily by the likes of new wave heroes The Eurythmics, The Human League and OMD. Supervision’s savage lead single “International Woman of Leisure” is a sort of kiss-off to an ex-lover and features La Roux’s instantly recognizable falsetto against a feel good, disco-esque hook. She’ll tour the globe extensively throughout the year bringing the party to a city near you.
TO RETURN with the most stripped down record of
SUPERVISION (SUPERCOLOUR RECORDS):
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SWIMMER (MUTUALLY DETRIMENTAL):
their decade-long career. Vocalist Alaina Moore on the lush lead single, “Runner:”“We were living off the grid, anchored in a fisherman’s cove called San Juanico. The only instruments we had on board were an acoustic guitar and a drum sequencer, but the limitations seemed to work in our favor.” For fans of ‘70s pop, notably Fleetwood Mac, Carole King and The Carpenters.
THIS PAGE: LA ROUX - CREDIT SUPERCOLOUR RECORDS • GRIMES - CREDIT 4AD RECORDS • TENNIS - CREDIT BIG HASSLE MEDI
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to journey along a multitude of musical highways. The opening track, “So Heavy I Fell Through the Earth” is a fantastical, six-minute opus featuring her signature whispers against a mysterious yet intriguing electronic beat. The goal of the release is to bring attention to our growing, international climate challenges. With tracks titles such as “Delete Forever,”“My Name is Dark,”“Violence,” and “You’ll Miss Me When I’m Not Around,”you should expect the release to take a gloomy, direct turn as it progresses.
COUNTRY STARS DISMISSING CONSERVATISM
THIS PAGE: KACEY MUSGRAVES - CREDIT UNIVERSAL MUSIC GROUP NASHVILLE • BRANDI CARLISLE - CREDIT ALYSSE GAFKJEN • DIXIE CHICKS - CREDIT VIJAT MOHINDRA. • KESHA - CREDIT DANA TRIPPE
ON A RECENT EPISODE OF THE “SPIRITUALGASM” PODCAST, Dixie Chicks’
Natalie Maines revealed that the band is currently putting the final touches on their first new record in fourteen years due out later this year, tentatively titled Gaslighter. While this record will mostly chronicle her recent divorce, it’ll also touch upon the state of America under Trump. If you recall, the Dixie Chicks famously lost all support from the country community during the Bush years when they criticized his 2003 invasion of Iraq by stating “we don’t want this war, this violence, and we’re ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas.”They had to rebuild their career almost entirely from scratch and ultimately took home a sea of Grammys in 2006 for their resulting album, Taking the Long Way. Taking on the heavily right-leaning industry was beyond bold at the time. Since then, we’ve seen quite a few acts break from the mold. Notably, Kacey Musgraves who has been releasing music for some time but became a household name -- and a favorite amongst queers who appreciate twang -with her latest release, the multi-award winning Golden Hour. She’s talked openly and nonchalantly of her unequivocal support for LGBTQ issues, gun control, abortion rights and climate policy. Singer-songwriter Brandi Carlisle, who has gone from a shy folk singer to a stadium-headliner is openly lesbian and frequently crosses over into the country realm with her genre-defying music. Her lyrics regularly touch upon women’s equality / empowerment and the international refugee crisis. Kudos to all of these incredible women for refusing to back down for what’s right.
ESSENTIAL LISTENING: KACEY MUSGRAVES “Rainbow”and “High Horse”
BRANDI CARLISLE “The Joke”and “The Story”
DIXIE CHICKS “Goodbye Earl”and “Not Ready to Make Nice”
KESHA
HIGH ROAD (RCA RECORDS / KEMOSABE): WHILE HER PREVIOUS RELEASE, THE CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED RAINBOW,
tackled a bevy of deep, personal issues, its followup High Road is a near polar-opposite. As she recently told Rolling Stone, for this release she “reconnected to the unrestrained joy and wildness that’s always been a part of me -- and in this process I have had the most fun I’ve ever had making a record.”Returning to her pop roots, the album features “Raising Hell”, a frenetic duet with New Orleans bounce queen Big Freedia -- and even a guest appearance from a gospel choir! On “My Own Dance,” “Kinky” and “Tonight,” the Kesha of yesteryear has returned in a major way -- sass, raunch and energy galore. She brings the tempo down and showcases her often unappreciated vocal talents on“Resentment”featuring Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys and rising country star Sturgill Simpson. Somehow Kesha’s released the album of the summer in January.
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THIS PAGE: FRANZ SZONY
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TOM
GOSS IS LEARNING TO LIKE THE HAPPY ACCIDENT How the Gay Troubadour’s World Travels Finally Brought Him Face to Face — With Himself BY KEVIN PHINNEY AS WE SPEAK, GOSS IS GETTING THE FIRST SHOWS OF A NEW TOUR UNDER HIS BELT. And these concerts — like the new Territories
album they highlight — mark a 180-degree turn from anything he’s attempted before. To hear Goss tell it, he’d been using his guitar as armor for so long he felt naked onstage without it. But then something happened that changed everything. Renowned as one of the most visibly off-the-market troubadours on the gay music circuit, Goss walked in to find his husband cheating on him. They’ve been together 14 years and married for nine.
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The revelation threw him into a tailspin. So much of his sixalbum discography glowingly touts his one-on-one bond with husband Mike. Knowing those songs can never be heard again the same way, he had plenty to consider. They could have called it quits then and there; many do. Instead, Goss and his husband decided to rethink their union, and after some soul searching, they launched a 2.0 version of their marriage as “an open relationship — with boundaries.” That renegotiation undergirds Territories, the most adventurous Tom Goss album ever, and their new shared reality has become a metaphor for life without a net. Serendipitously, living a less predictable life also helped Tom find his inner daredevil. Of course, self-reflection is vital for a musician who writes from life experience and leans on words like “intentional” to convey a deliberative nature. But its meaning seems to have shifted lately. These days, his “intentional” means making informed choices as well as mastering feats of determination. “Well, making Territories hasn’t been easy,”says its composer. “But it has been interesting. This record has been very uncomfortable, because the artistic journey came after the emotional journey, and that really started with “Berlin.’”
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PHOTOS 26-27 COURTESY OF TOM GOSS
ALWAYS IS NOT FOREVER
NEW TERRITORIES In a music video that evokes Erotica-era Madonna, “Berlin” drapes synths and singers over a backdrop of sensory delights. There, in a city known for its libertine pastimes, Goss tumbles headlong into an overnight romance. And, in case you’re a longtime fan who thinks he’s only watching Tom’s fantasy play out, the short ends with the pair whispering,“I love you”to each other. “For me, sexuality and intimacy are a part of caring for someone,” he confides. “If someone’s not nice, it doesn’t matter how hot they are; I’m not interested. The experience of learning what my husband wanted triggered my own journey. I realized I’m not capable of being physical with someone without having an emotional entanglement.” Since he couldn’t go back, Goss decided to see what the unknown present might hold. And the more the rabbit hole telescoped away, the more he had to know what was down there — inside him. “I’m always going to be introspective, you know,”he laughs.“I started making music because I wasn’t satisfied with the messages I was hearing around me. Music impacts our lives in a way that goes past understanding. If I was using my music simply to make money and become famous, I sure wouldn’t have made the records I have made up until now. I always want to be tackling deeper truths and keep the main focus on being honest, being very intentional and asking everyone, including myself, to think.”
Always “an instigator,” Goss dug a deep well and filled it with rage.“Being an athlete, I was used to being physical, aggressive and strong,”says Goss. “I’ve always been one of the best. Maybe it was about entering the male-dominated alpha world of adolescence, but I started getting into fights with people at school — including my coaches — and getting arrested for assault and disorderly conduct. Remember Jenny Jones? That was me. I don’t think anything happens in a vacuum, though. There were certainly a lot of external things going on, but the vast majority was me and my failure to integrate my differentness with the world around me.”
Tom Goss has been thinking for a very long time.
GETTING A GRIP Goss was born in 1981 to a Catholic pair of gymnasium owners in Quincy, Illinois. As the middle brother of three, he describes himself as “a pleaser who’s incapable pleasing anyone. My parents divorced and both remarried. But my brothers and I were born almost within 30 days of each other, two years apart. We did almost everything together.” Athletics were woven into the Goss family DNA, and at an early age little Tom started training three or four hours a day, four or five days a week. Generally, he played several sports at a time, and developed a competitive streak that persists to this day. Having a locomotive body and a sharp personality at his command very quickly became a problem: “I was a terror,” he admits. “I really felt misunderstood and invisible a lot of the time. I couldn’t please anyone and didn’t understand why.”
SWITCHING OFF He was expelled in 9th grade and placed in an alternative school (“kind of a holdover for kids from juvie,” he’ll say) that accommodated troubled kids who couldn’t play well with others. Unlike most, Goss looked around and decided, “this is not the direction my life should be heading.” He took his rage internal, then turned to wrestling as a physical outlet. Insofar as sexuality was concerned, Goss says he didn’t have any. “I shut it off like a switch,” he says. Redirected, his physical prowess soon won him friends and the favorable notice of coaches. But he still felt like an outsider. “We’d be talking METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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CRITICAL MASS It made perfect sense then that Goss would enter the seminary upon graduation. “The idea of moving back to Wisconsin, marrying a girl and coaching or teaching seemed completely suffocating to me,”he says in retrospect. The idea of being a priest calmed my heart. It seemed like I was choosing my own path.”
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For many, the biggest detriment to the priesthood is celibacy. “But I was already celibate,” Goss maintains. “I wasn’t dating. I wasn’t even masturbating.” Ironically enough, it was at seminary in DC that he fell in love for the first time — with a man he describes as funny, shy and chubby.“We fell in love,” he says,“and for the first time I felt sexual attraction. It wasn’t that I was asexual. It was that I’m attracted to chubby guys.” Their affair continued on the DL. “And one night, I found one of the guys I was living with standing at the foot of my bed, watching me sleep. I mean, we were supposed to be brothers, right? This kind of behavior had been escalating for a while. Even though I was getting more and more uncomfortable, I had to be in close contact all day every day. I would eat every single meal with him, see him at mass, prayer, meetings — everywhere.” Looking back, Goss says,“I’ve never been raped, but I have a little understanding of that fear. I certainly was fearful. I was living three feet away. We shared a wall and he was doing whatever he could to make sexual advances towards me. It was horrible, and after he showed up in my room, I finally started talking about it. Once the people in the house heard about
PHOTOS 28-29 COURTESY OF TOM GOSS
about life, society, economics and religion. And if I’d say, ‘I’m not really sure I see it the same way,’ their response would be, ‘Oh, we understand what you’re saying, but you don’t really count. You’re different.’ So, I got used to being interesting but irrelevant and completely discounted. I still feel like that a lot.” That pattern continued through college in Missouri. “I was turning myself off,” he shrugs. “Since I was an athlete, I showered with 60 guys a day. These are earnest, fit, young and beautiful Midwesterners — the people you would want to see in fashion or porn magazines. And I wasn’t attracted to them. I literally didn’t think I had that drive. I thought the world was lying about love, since I’d never felt it. So, I made good friends, men and women, and was more interested in the person than the package they appeared in.”
to see their brilliance and success? It’s one of the most inspirational things you can imagine.” Over the last decade as a singer/songwriter, Goss has documented his marriage (“You Know That I Love You”from 2012), his attraction (“Bears” the following year) and domestic violence (in “La Bufadora” featuring Daniel Franzese). Now when Goss bounds out onto the stage, he’s also stepping out of his own shadow.
IT’S INTENTIONAL
what was going on, he got kicked out, and less than a week later I had someone else doing the same thing.”
A DIFFERENT CALLING Because the church condones homosexuality privately and condemns it in public, his fellow seminarians began to shun him for breaking their code of silence. Once again, he was voiceless and invisible.“That was the moment I realized this is not an environment for me,”he says.“It was damaging and unhealthy and so I quit, and 24 hours later, I found a place to live, packed my bags and moved. Everybody immediately disappeared from my life. I think they saw my independence and not being quiet as dangerous for them.” Now Goss says he’s grateful for the experience because “had they not done what they did, I might have spent years in the wrong place.” That’s when he decided to make music. As a teenager, Goss followed Dave Matthews Band across the country and had a huge thing for the music of Seal. Now, with nothing more than a job at Starbucks, he decided to make a record. And a few weeks after leaving seminary, he met his husband Mike on Yahoo personals.
“I’ve spent a lot of time in my career being afraid of what people thought,” he’ll say. “And honestly, I wasn’t sure I could pull this show off. I thought there’d be people who wouldn’t understand it. Being someone who is a multi-instrumentalist, I’ve had my own judgements about not playing instruments when singing. But I’ve come to realize it doesn’t matter. To stand there and have the music move through you without anything but your vocal skills? It’s become transformational. For me, shedding the guitar was like shedding a shield, and learning how to access a more honest, more emotional side of myself. I think that’s made the show exponentially better.” As David Bowie once said,“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.”If this is a moment of clarity, Goss is making the most of it. Having come out to his family years ago by letter, he invited them to see his new show recently in Chicago. “My whole family came to see me perform,”he says with a smile.“And I began the show talking about opening up my relationship, which is not really something you want to have your mother in the audience for.” As the show began, “I was trying hard not to focus on them, I was trying to be invisible to them. Then I caught myself, and thought, ‘No, if you feel unseen and unheard you need to be performing only to them. Shine so brightly they can’t ignore you. I was so big and so open and so honest, I had one of the most incredible shows of my life.” Then he and his family then met up for dinner, he laughs, “and no one mentioned it. Not a word. But you know what? That’s okay. I think that I need to write songs, make videos, painfully reveal my heart to the world. That’s not who they are. But that’s who I am.” ■
TOM GOSS NAKED Goss released his first album, Naked Without, in 2006, “without any idea what I was doing. But once I’d done it, I wanted to play it live, then make a video and go on tour. It all just snowballed from there. As I toured, I got to meet amazing people living their dreams who were wounded just like me. Finding people with less and from worse circumstances, and getting METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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YOU’VE GOT
MALE
A Pair of Documentarians Explore the Sudden Rise and Fall of the Gay Fashion Bible Known as INTERNATIONAL MALE BY KEVIN PHINNEY IN AN ERA WHERE MEN PERCEIVED AS GAY WERE OFTEN DEPICTED AS EITHER PATHETIC OR PARIAHS, International Male asked its audience to reconsider its deeply rooted homophobia. Now a new documentary called All Man: The International Male Story is depicting the rise and fall of the edgy menswear catalog, which ceased its mail order operation more than a dozen years ago. Fun Facts: The word “gay” never appeared in the catalog as a reference to either the fanciful fashions or the men who modeled them. Most of the IM models were actually straight — which some say helped lend appeal to even the most off-the-charts outfits. But make no mistake: just as Elvis made it cool to bump and grind in the ‘50s and the Beatles helped long hair become masculine again, International Male helped move the needle on gender expression. The creators of the catalog, comprised of men and women whose sexuality ran the gamut, were a fashion-forward vanguard whose ideas pushed boundaries in the decades between David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust and red-carpet Billy Porter.
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PHOTO COURTESY OF ALL MAN MOVIE
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producer/directors Bryan Darling and Jesse Finley Reed pose with Queer Eye star Carson Kressley.
According to All Man co-director Bryan Darling, “If you had a mailbox, International Male gave you access to the resources to dress in new expressive ways. Remember that this is predominantly a time before the internet: you only knew of what you were directly exposed to, and in many ways, things were really limited.” While roomy draped suits were all the rage (Arsenio, anyone?) and most everyday American men were confined to their Banana Republic uniforms, International Male dared to propose alternatives. Some of their suggestions were outrageous, says Darling, because IM definitely“wasn’t the catalog for khakis and a blue blazer. It was for something different; garments intentionally cut tighter to the body in a range of colors and styles atypical of mainstream men’s fashion. There were belts, zippers, pleats, puffy shirts, silks, underwear, and … well, you get the drift.” Over time, the catalog only pushed the envelope more. “As much as people like to tease and parody International Male, it really was new fashion to a lot of people,” says the filmmaker. “The staff recounts stories of how, while on photoshoots, dads with their families
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would come up and say how much they loved the clothes. The staff would always be shocked, but this catalog was having an effect in many different people’s lives.”
PHOTOS 32-33 COURTESY OF ALL MAN MOVIE
EXPRESS YOURSELF
BRAWN DAWN The documentary delves deep into the International Male archives to explore how, even at the outset, the catalog set itself apart from the mainstream. Darling’s directing partner, Jesse Finley Reed, calls IM the brainchild of Gene Burkard that started out “in a small beach cottage in San Diego. Gene got to see the world while selling supplies to military bases throughout Europe and Africa. And it was during these travels that he noticed European men, and how they seemed more expressive in their fashion. He thought to himself, “Why can’t American men do the same?” According to the company lore, “One night in London while walking by a medical supply store, he saw a pair of underwear in the window … they were probably for incontinence or something less than sexy, but this became his “Ah-Ha” moment. When he returned to the States, he created ‘The “Sock,’ a jockstrap-like piece of underwear, using fabric, staples and tape to make a prototype to show the seamstress. A little later he borrowed $5,000 to run an ad in Playboy… yes, Playboy. And it went gangbusters.” That company was originally called Brawn of California, and by 1976 had expanded into International Male. By the end of the decade, the brand was as ubiquitous as the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever.
IT’S REIGNING MEN By the early ‘80s, many of the recurring models featured in IM catalogs were developing followings of their own. And, because of the skimpy swimsuits and in-your-face fashions — as well as the handsome men modeling them — many boys coming of age developed their first crushes on the stars of their glossy wish books. Those elements were at the nexus of what made International Male required reading, says Reed. “We actually believe it’s the trifecta of three things: the fashions, the models, and the freedom — or selfexpression, we sometimes like to say. To make it successful and unique it needed all three of those elements. Sure, for different people, different aspects win out. I mean, some gay men we’ve spoken to practically had relationships with their favorite model.” After a pause, he reconsiders. “I am joking,” says Reed.“In fact, almost all the models were straight. And for gay men, it’s always a shock to learn that the catalog had a large, straight male and female audience as well. But think back to Miami Vice and Don Johnson in his pink suit… Where would you find something like that in your mall? Sears? Macys? International Male created choice, as well as access to everyday people throughout the US — and even better, you could get it sent to your mailbox. So, no one had to know.” METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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PUFF DADDIES For more than a decade, International Male cruised along as a secret of the gay underground, with a few straights who viewed the catalog as their occasional walk on the wild side. Eventually the owners launched a spinoff called Undergear. Now also serving retail customers out of a small outlet at the edge of West Hollywood, IM sat atop its own little niche in the fashion world by creating a space where men could dress to please themselves, their gay counterparts or ... like something off the cover of a ladies’ romance novel set in the 1800s. To this day, no one can confirm that the Puffy Shirt episode of Seinfeld was the moment when Middle America first took notice of International Male. Sure, Prince and Jimi Hendrix had rocked the pirate shirt look on stages years earlier, but few dared to don such garments on any day not called Halloween. “We haven’t had a chance to talk with Jerry Seinfeld or Larry David in person,” Reed admits, “but we have had many people tell us that the Puffy Shirt was, in fact, inspired by the IM shirt. Rumor has it that Seinfeld’s costume designers shopped at the West Hollywood store, where they bought the Ultimate Poet’s Shirt (aka the Puffy Shirt) and it and subsequently inspired the show. We cannot yet confirm that it’s true. But we’re working on it.”
David Knight
VICTIM OF SUCCESS
Reed nods. “Our working assumption at the moment is that the parent company, Hanover Direct (who bought Brawn in the mid-’80s), didn’t really know how to keep the brand relevant as competition grew. Towards the end, the catalog seemed to be pulling out all the stops without a clear, definitive vision … and perhaps became the parody it was always fighting against.” Thirty years after their splashy debut, International Male was no more, and Underwear mailed its last catalog in 2015. But, for an entire pre-internet generation, IM will be fondly remembered for the fantasies its readers lived out through its pages.
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Robert Goold
PHOTOS 34-35 COURTESY OF ALL MAN MOVIE
So... what happened? How did this fashion pioneer disappear just as LGBTQ people were becoming more accepted? “There are a few answers,” muses Darling, “but I think one that rises to the top is actually in your question: the world changed and became more accepting, and because of that, International Male was no longer unique. They had built their brand as an outlier, as a one of a kind place for boundary-pushing men’s clothing, which allowed them to present a new kind of man — a new masculinity, you could argue. And although they were an early adopter to the internet and had an online store, they quickly became one of many.”
David Knight
“As gay men ourselves,” Darling adds,“we had only read it as something exclusively for gay men when we started. But, as we mentioned before, International Male was for any guy who wanted boundary-pushing fashion. The catalog had lots of different audiences: urban and rural; black and white; gay and straight, the list goes on. There were many celebrities who shopped there, too — everyone from (the boy band) 98 Degrees to Burt Reynolds. In our interview with Carson Kressley, he talked a lot about how it provided the groundwork for the metrosexual movement, and that men could wear clothes just for fun. So, the magazine-catalog, or magalog, was very much a how-to lifestyle guide, too. There are many tales of women taking their men into the stores in Southern California to dress them more like Don Johnson or Fabio.
ROCKING THE DOC “Obviously,” says Reed,“there are a lot of ways to tell this story, and certainly a lot of yummy visual candy to bring viewers in. But in all honesty, the documentary is about a lot more than lilac-colored Aviator Jumpsuits. The reason we’re making the film is because we became fascinated with how a little clothing catalog helped transform ideas about
masculinity and self-expression in men in America. The catalog being labeled ‘gay’ is probably at the heart of our motivation. Although it never printed the word, it was chronically associated as such. Why? Because it depicted men in a new way. And because of that, it was seen as a threat to masculinity.” Darling wants to amplify that.“Labeling something as ‘gay’ is heteronormative masculinity’s way of defending itself,” he says. “As documentarians, we are attracted to this story because it can be used to explore broader cultural shifts that were taking place: the rise of the objectified male body, a growing LGBTQ presence, and greater selfexpression. A lot of people associate IM with a greater freedom, which it did provide. At the same time, it set up a model of self-expression tied to increasingly hyper-masculine physiques. Additionally, aside from Shemar Moore and a few other models of color, the publication was predominantly populated with images of whiteness. We’re aiming to unpack all of that in the documentary.” ■ (Look for All Man: The International Male Story at film festivals later this year. Updates will be available online via allman@internationalmalemovie.com) METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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WITH HIV/AIDS RECEDING FROM EPIDEMIC TO A MANAGEABLE CHRONIC AILMENT THANKS TO THE COCKTAIL, sex is back. Certainly, it’s a sexuality tempered by the tough lessons of the crisis, but city officials are considering loosening restrictions on bath houses shuttered for 20 years or more. And there’s no better barometer of what’s happening among sex-positive gay men than the resurrection of Drummer magazine. We sat down and talked with the publisher, the new editor and the former editor-in-chief who never lost faith that the magazine would rise again one day.
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PHOTO COURTESY OF DRUMMER MAGAZINE
A celebration of all things gay, leather, masculine and sexual — free from misogyny, transphobie and racism. BY KEVIN PHINNEY
METROSOURCE: How would you explain what Drummer was and is to someone who’s unfamiliar? Former Editor Jack Fritscher: Well, Drummer was founded in 1975 as a pioneering gay-identity magazine for leathermen coming out of the closet. Our manifesto in every issue was our tagline quote from Henry David Thoreau — marching to the beat of one’s own different drummer. We made our I-AmWho-I-Am reputation by daring to salute the emerging sexual identity and authenticity of a class of masculine-identified gay men; men who were otherwise not represented in the soft new gay press. We fed a hunger. Masturbation is magical thinking. So, Drummer was invented to add erotic realism to the magical thinking of one-handed readers trying to conjure the real deal of S&M pleasures. Of course, Drummer did not invent leathermen. But we did bring leather culture out of the closet, created a community and earned leather folk a rainbow stripe in gay popular culture. Drummer was a huge influencer from the start, and its contents were a first draft of leather history and how we lived. Current Editor Mike Miksche: And even today with the relaunch, we continue to run that Thoreau quote in every issue. We also include a statement by Jack MacCallum that explains what we stand for, and there’s one sentence that really sums it up for me. In his words,“Our goal is to celebrate masculine, gay leather sexuality that is free of misogyny, transphobia, and racism of any kind.” METROSOURCE: What do you think its function was at the time when it was first introduced? Publisher Jack MacCullum: I believe it was started as a novelty and evolved into this amazing magazine that normalized kink. It made men realize they weren’t alone in their sexual feelings and desires. Fritscher: In that first post-Stonewall decade, Drummer helped create the very leather culture it reported on. Guys used our articles, stories, drawings and photos as their leather suggestion book validating their emerging S&M style and behavior. So did the fashion industry. Drummer was also influential in shaping leather identity. In 1977, when he was virtually unknown, Robert Mapplethorpe flew from his studio in New York to the Drummer office in San Francisco hoping to find models and publicity. He asked if I’d publish his photos, because he understood the power of Drummer’s voice. Drummer helped Mapplethorpe reveal his genius. In fact, many New Yorkers came to Drummer for a kind of coverage they could not get in Manhattan. People like filmmaker Wakefield Poole, erotic artist Rex; Wally Wallace, manager of the Mineshaft. The magazine functioned internationally to publish and introduce isolated gay talents. On his first trip to the US, Tom of Finland flew to the Drummer office. Legendary author, Samuel Steward, intimate friend of Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas, contributed his “Phil Andros” stories and then dubbed our talent pool the “Drummer Salon.” Robert Opel (famous for streaking naked before TV cameras at the Oscars), who was fleeing the LAPD in Los Angeles, came to Drummer as our staff writer and photographer until he was murdered in 1979. Artist Al Shapiro quit as art director at Queens Quarterly to become art director of Drummer. Glenn Hughes, the leatherman of the Village People, and Michael Fesco, founder of the Flamingo disco in New York, partied in our Drummer Salon. Drummer’s secret sauce was sperm: we were all bonding and balling each other. Mapplethorpe and I ran a very hot love affair for years. Drummer was a magazine of practical fantasy, of interesting people taking a walk on the wild side during the Titanic 1970s before the first-class party cruised on, oblivious to the iceberg of HIV dead ahead. METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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METROSOURCE: This is not at all the same world where Drummer first appeared. How is the mission of the magazine similar to, or different from, its original iteration? MacCullum: I really don’t believe the Drummer of the ’70s and ’80s is so different than what we’re publishing today. Men are generally more aware of their sexual interests and what gets them off, but all in all, I don’t believe much has changed when it comes to content. Miksche: Yeah, we’ve been trying to stay as true to the editorial mission of the past. The times have changed, the way people read have changed, but I like to think that the spirit of the magazine is the same today as it was back then, just a more modern take. METROSOURCE: Assimilation into mainstream culture is a very real thing, as is being co-opted. And it’s been happening since the Village People and before. In that way, is Drummer saying something socially relevant about that? MacCullum: Absolutely, I believe there is a definite need for Drummer today. It goes beyond just the entertainment factor. I believe that there’s an isolation and disconnect today, much like there was in the 70’s and 80’s, but fewer places to turn. Drummer magazine steps in and lets men know that there are others out there with the same
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interests and desires. Miksche: As I’ve said, this is a very unique period because of things like PrEP and U=U, and when I look around at the events I’m going to, I see guys enjoying themselves in a way that I didn’t see 10 or 15 years ago. The North American kink scene is becoming more like Berlin now, and I think it’s great. There are a lot of people who don’t like it and think this newfound sexual liberation is a dangerous thing. Well, Drummer today is saying that it’s not dangerous. We celebrate this moment in time.
PHOTOS 38-39 COURTESY OF DRUMMER MAGAZINE
METROSOURCE: So much has changed in terms of the gay community. Why do you see the need for a magazine like Drummer now? MacCullum: I believe there are men, gay, bisexual and even straight, even women who can relate to our content. There is something for everyone with a sexual kink and we’re really attempting to cover a lot of ground with our articles and photos. Miksche: Agreed. And it’s interesting. I was speaking to Chad Bush, who runs Pig Week in Fort Lauderdale, about how because of things like PrEP and the acknowledgment that “undetectable equals untransmittable, or “U=U.” Gay men can enjoy their sexuality again in a way they couldn’t, even 10 years ago. Guys can finally explore their fetishes uninhibited. And in a lot of ways, our community can carry on where we left off in ’81 from a sexual liberation standpoint. I think we need magazines like Drummer to document that sexual progress, that exploration and the celebration of leather sexuality. As far as I know, there isn’t a magazine like it in North America that’s doing what we’re doing, so I think there’s a need for it even more for that reason.
I hope we’re entering another golden era of gay sexuality. I can say that it certainly feels like we are — and if that’s the case, Drummer is here to report on it all. METROSOURCE: Drummer has always marched to its own beat and was never going to be full of pretty boys like Blueboy, Instinct or In Touch. Was that intentional? MacCullum: Regular men. The men we feature are simply normal guys who have an interest and are active in the kink they are being photographed participating in. We don’t use models or pretty men just for the aesthetic. Miksche: Yeah, we’ve worked hard to use real guys whenever possible. I think that’s the appeal — what we’re presenting is as real as possible, and I believe men relate to that and they find it damned hot. That’s the sort of thing I’m into, anyway. MacCullum: Our target audience are men who can be in a suit and tie, or regular jeans and t-shirts. But they’re simply average men once you strip their clothes off. Miksche: Absolutely. I think it’s anybody who has even the slightest kinky inclination. We’re learning that our appeal is a lot broader than we had originally thought. METROSOURCE: Was that approach tempered over the years, or did the magazine stick to its hardcore ethos? Fritscher: Even during AIDS, Drummer never stopped publishing homocore reality and fantasy for leathermen, which expanded to include leatherwomen and other genders as each came out. The first woman mentioned in Drummer was Mapplethorpe’s model Cynthia Slater, founder of the S&M Society of Janus, in issue 27 in 1979. In fact, Drummer was created to incite masturbation. So, our content, responsibly calculated to get men off solo, became a major source of safe hardcore entertainment to entertain the troops stuck home alone in Iowa during the war on AIDS. METROSOURCE: Do you have any sense of how hard your readership was hit by the AIDS crisis? It would make sense that the most sexually adventurous among gay men were also the ones at the highest risk. Fritscher: In 1983, subscription mailings were coming back marked “Deceased.” We adjusted to the AIDS crisis by responsibly adjusting our fiction and illustrations to show safe sex, and by adding
feature columns on gay men’s health. Contrary to urban myth, leather sex is no more essentially risky than vanilla sex. Drummer was always descriptive, not prescriptive, about sex. We described what was happening monthly, but never dictated“Thou Shalt”or“Thou Shalt Not.”There may be rules around sex, but no one’s sure what they are. In the 1970s window between penicillin and HIV, I often wrote cautionary editorials and columns about venereal disease and drug use. In the 1980s, we amplified this sex-positive editorial policy by glamorizing safe sex practices trying to make the antiseptic new ways hot.
But sexual adventure did not cause AIDS; a virus caused AIDS. In fact, Drummer pro-actively recommended S&M leather sex which seemed a bit safer, because fluid exchanges are not necessary in ritual scenes that are more about mutual masturbation than penetration. Nevertheless, we were as hard hit by AIDS as everyone else. No more. No less. We lost most of our best writers, artists, photographers and staff to the epidemic. MacCullum: I was one of those men during the epidemic. I was one of those targeted men. I know exactly how difficult it was. Being a 57-yearold man, living in the three “hot zones” of HIV, METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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METROSOURCE: Of the new people involved in the re-launch, how did the magazine first come into your awareness? Miksche: I was born in 1981 and I didn’t come out until about ’99, so it was before my time, actually. But years ago, an editor of mine who collected the original magazine introduced me to it — and the rest is history. METROSOURCE: Who had the idea to revive Drummer? How did it happen? MacCullum: It’s a bit of a long story, but upon a very rocky 2017 and 2018 in my title circuit, my partner Spike West did some research on who owned Drummer magazine. The internet is amazing, you can find pretty much anything you want with enough time and patience. Martijn Bakker, RoB of Amsterdam, still owned the original rights to the magazine, events and contest. Six months of negotiating, and I finalized the purchase in October of 2018, during Amsterdam Leather Pride Weekend. Why? I believe Drummer is a world institution. Something to be protected, and
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that should live. There are so many men that benefitted from the original magazine and so many more now that will. Fritscher: When Jack MacCullum contacted me in 2019 about resurrecting Drummer after it closed shop in 1999, he was a knight in shining leather. He made my own private 20-year dream come true. I have been involved intimately with the magazine since 1975 and have contributed writing and photography to around 70 issues. I’ve written two documentary books about its institutional memory and run the online Drummer archives since 1995. So, we rubbed our enthusiasms together. When Jack asked about the editing of the new Drummer, my first thought was to recommend Mike Miksche, a writer whose career I have long admired. The day those two leathermen, publisher and editor, sat with me at my kitchen table to chew the fat felt like a kickstart to a new chapter of Drummer history. I’m grateful at age 80 to be the consulting editor emeritus and a continuing contributor. METROSOURCE: Moving forward, are there topics the original magazine shied away from that you’ll delve into? Miksche: I don’t think the original magazine shied away from any topic. And we won’t either, as long as it’s not hateful, discriminatory or illegal. I think there are some upcoming topics that will make a lot of
PHOTOS 40-41 COURTESY OF DRUMMER MAGAZINE
New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco, I am painfully aware. Therefore, I believe it’s time for Drummer magazine to return. Men of my age miss the connections, and I know that younger men need something like the fraternity we were once a part of.
people uncomfortable but if a fetish exists out there, I will consider covering it. MacCullum: Personally, I don’t think anything will be off the table, except children and animals. METROSOURCE: Publications like Instigator clearly drew inspiration from the edginess gay men once associated with Drummer. In many ways, the people who would be most interested in your content now have so many places online to find it. How will you rebuild your fan base? Miksche: I think first and foremost, it’s letting people who loved the original magazine know that Drummer is back. It’s also letting new leathermen know that we’re very different than Instigator or something like Alpha Tribe. We very much have a North American sensibility, and our focus is more on a nontoxic variant of masculinity, as well as leather and kink. We’ve been present at some leather and kink events across Europe and North America to spread the word to help rebuild our fan base and we’re expanding our social media presence, too. MacCullum: We have a built-in base as well. Granted, most of the men that remember or know Drummer magazine are over 40 years old or more, but I know the younger audience will certainly be on board. Men have an almost romantic relationship with the magazine. Many of the men who remember Drummer from its
heyday and have seen the new issues feel we truly hit it out of the park. METROSOURCE: From the success of online apps like SCRUFF and others, it seems leather and bear culture are alive and well. Are there plans to make your reboot more digital and cyber-friendly than its predecessor? MacCullum: The magazine has been launched digitally with an option to pay a premium and receive print copies. I have to say, the online content doesn’t compare to the print copy. The photos are incredible, and this type of magazine experience is much better in print. We are considering an app in the future, but that will most likely be a few years off. METROSOURCE: As edgy as leather culture can be, it seems now the media light is shining most brightly on gender expression. What is the place of a publication like DRUMMER in a community that’s challenging gender stereotypes right now? Miksche: When it comes to challenging gender stereotypes, I think it’s great that people who feel inhibited or harmed by them are free to express themselves in different ways that defy those norms. Drummer was and still largely is about raw masculinity and its allure, but it’s a nontoxic version of masculinity that we’re interested in. Our upcoming issue is “macho” themed because it’s an important part of the
magazine’s past. I believe that masculinity is one of the many gender expressions out there. It’s not any better or worse than any other one and we don’t act like it is. It’s different and that’s what our magazine focuses on. Drummer is specifically for gay men, although we’re not in the business of defining what a“gay man”is. If someone identifies as a gay man, then this magazine is for them. METROSOURCE: If this relaunch succeeds, what will make you happiest? Does it seem like Drummer fills a void in the world for each of you? MacCullum: I intend on keeping the magazine going because it does fulfill a need that no one else addressed in the past. I need subscribers and advertisers to step up, but there’s nothing else being published today as insightful, or informative as this magazine in terms of leather culture. I see up going only higher and further in our future issues. Miksche: For me, I’d be happiest to see our readership continue to grow not only in the major hubs like New York, San Francisco, and Los Angeles but to see people reading it in small cities, towns and rural areas. To know that we can help people enjoy and accept their kinky sexuality in places where it’s difficult to be gay, let alone kinky would be very gratifying and one of the ways I’d measure success. I think Drummer for sure fills a void because like Jack says, there’s nothing quite like it anywhere. ■ METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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BY JEFFREY JAMES KEYES
BULLYING, A CLEAR FORM OF YOUTH VIOLENCE, was officially defined by
the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (www.cdc.gov) as “any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths, who are not siblings or current dating partners, that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. Bullying may inflict harm or distress on the targeted youth including physical, psychological, social, or educational harm.” There are currently two modes and four types that youth can be bullied (or bully others). The two modes include direct bullying (bullying in the presence of the other) and indirect (spreading rumors). Additionally, the four categories of bullying include physical, verbal, relational, and damage to property). Some warning signs of bullying include: unexplainable injuries, lost or destroyed property, stomach aches, headaches, changes in eating habits, declining grades, feelings of helplessness, and self-destructive behaviors. Bullying, rampant in the United States, with 1 in every 5 high school students reported being bullied on school property. These statistics greatly increase with students who self-identify as lesbian, gay, or biseuxal with roughly 33% reporting bullying on school property in addition to cyberbullying. Why might children not report bullying? There are plenty of reasons including fear of being seen as weak or a “tattletale”, the fear of backlash, fear of judgement from adults, feeling like no one will care or understand, or even fear of rejection or losing support
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or their parent’s trust. Bullying frequently happens in middle schools, high schools, primary schools, and beyond. How does this affect these students psychologically? And what are the short and long term effects of bullying? DoSomething.org reports that 1 in 5 students experience bullying with at least 37% of those bullied online. A UCLA study of over 2,000 students in Los Angeles area middle schools showed that a high level of bullying correlates to lower grades across all three years of middle school. Children who are bullied may experience depression and anxiety, increased feelings of sadness and loneliness, changes in their schedule including eating patterns and sleep, even loss of interest for the types of activities they used to enjoy. Grades can suffer, GPAs and standardized test scores can be reduced, they’re likely to miss or skip out of school and their overall health and wellness can be compromised. Even more alarming consequences of bullying range from physical injury, social/ emotional distress, self-harm, suicide, and even school shootings. It’s important to note that experiences children have ultimately shape the adults they become. The effects of bullying can follow a child throughout their life. Long term effects of bullying can include anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, suicidal tendencies, depression, substance abuse, and more. Take bullying seriously, if you can identify a child is being bullied it’s important to contact a teacher or counselor in order to mediate and get the child the help they need. Finding a way to do
STOCK PHOTO COPYRIGHT: PHOTO BY RAWPIXEL
BODY
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BULLYING, CYBERBULLYING, AND STAND UP TO BULLYING DAY
regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or expression. These include developing supportive educators, comprehensive policies, inclusive curriculum, and support student GSAs, or student-led Gender and Sexuality Alliance clubs. Their work includes Ally Week, No NameCalling Week, GLSEN’s Safe Space Kit, Day of Silence, and Changing the Game. Their website offers extensive resources for educators, students, policy, and webinars and workshops.
STOPBULLYING.GOV Stopbullying.gov is a federal government website managed by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Their site provides information from various government agencies on what bullying is, who is at risk, how you can prevent and respond to bullying with information from the Department of Education, the Department of Health and Human Services, and the Department of Justice. This site illustrates warning signs for bullying, effects of bullying, diversity, race & religion, as well as details about LGBTQ Youth.
STOCK PHOTO COPYRIGHT: PHOTO BY KAROLINA / KABOOMPICS / RAWPIXEL • PHOTO BY ROUNGROAT / RAWPIXEL
THETREVORPROJECT.ORG restorative work, to help the child’s confidence is essential. International STAND UPto Bullying Day lands on February 28 this year. This semi-annual event encourages participants to wear a pink shirt to take a visible, public stance against bullying. The first event took place in February 2008 when over 125,000 students and staff registered to take a stand against bullying. Travis Price and David Shepherd started the event the previous year by standing up when a classmate was being bullied for wearing a pink shirt. They bought 50 pink shirts and emailed their classmates to get and wear pink shirts the following day, creating a “sea of pink”in solidarity with the student who was bullied. International STAND UP to Bullying Day has been observed the last Friday in February ever since. Searching for resources on bullying and cyberbullying? Check out these resources:
CYBERBULLYING.ORG
THe Trevor Project, founded in 1998 by the creators of the Academy Award-winning short film TREVOR, is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ young people under 25. The organization offers accredited lifesaving, life-affirming programs, and services to LGBTQ youth. Through their research they partner with research organizations to carry out complex investigations that range from program evaluations to interventions and monitor, analyze, and evaluate existing data collected from the Trevor-served youth to produce insights into vulnerable populations as well as suicidal risk factors, and social factors influencing suicidal attempts. If you or someone you know about is thinking about suicide and in need of immediate support the TrevorLifeline is available at 1-866-488-7386. They also offer TrevorChat, a confidential online instant messaging system, and TrevorText, a confidential text messaging system, just text START to 678678. ■
The Cyberbullying Research Center is dedicated to providing current information about the nature, extent, causes, and consequences of cyberbullying among adolescents. The Research Center is directed by Dr. Sameer Hinduja from Florida Atlantic University and Dr. Justin W. Patchin from University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, who have been studying cyberbullying since 2002. They founded the Center in order to bring research about cyberbullying to those who can benefit most from it. Their website includes a Safety Glossary, Tips for Teens, Live Streaming: Top Ten Tips for Teens, a parent guide to Teen Sexting, insight into state by state bullying laws, tips for preventing cyberbullying, presentations, books, and more.
GLSEN.ORG GLSEN, founded by a group of teachers in 1990, believes that “every student has the right to a safe, supportive, and LGBTQ-inclusive K-12 education”. Their organization, a national network of educators, students, and local GLSEN Chapters work to make this right a reality. Their research and experience has shown there are four major ways schools can cultivate a safe and supportive environment for all students, METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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GIVING UP THE GHOST
psychologist and founder of the Gay Therapy Center which has a network of 36 licensed therapists who identify as LGBTQ based in Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco and Washington D.C. Blum transitioned from private practice to a multi-city franchise four years ago because he saw the need for clinical psychologists who were uniquely qualified to address the needs and issues affecting LGBTQ clients.
BODY
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MOST OF US DON’T NEED A DICTIONARY TO KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE “GHOSTED.” The visceral pain of being “ghosted” is less easily defined and quantified. It’s a double-edged knife (whether you’re the ghost and the ghostee), often encompassing a potent mix of guilt, regret and shame. In order to unpack it, I reached out to Adam Blum, clinical
While dating apps are ubiquitous across all manner of sexual orientation, they are particularly critical in the LGBTQ community because of societal factors which make it difficult to identify prospective partners and build lasting relationships. Blum concurs that ghosting is about avoidance. “It is hiding. And LGBTQ people have a lot of experience with hiding. For most of us, it was the only way to survive growing up.” Blum advocates a range of practical steps to reframe the experience and process it in a way that prioritizes self-care. “We need to double down on our self-care. Which means to ramp up a life-long effort to learn how to love and support ourselves.”
SHORT-CIRCUIT THE SELF-BLAME Blum suggests taking a beat to acknowledge the pain and the hurt. The reason being ghosted is so triggering is because“it pushes on our attachment system. This is a built-in system that keeps us alive as infants.”Once you’ve acknowledged the hurt, don’t wallow in it. This is the time to“pat yourself on the back” for putting yourself out there and allowing yourself to be vulnerable, because that’s where growth happens.
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TRANSITION FROM THE APP TO REAL LIFE ASAP As with that other pesky byproduct of dating (being cat-fished), the best defense against “ghosting” is transitioning to an in-person, face-to-face encounter as soon as possible. Blum acknowledges that apps are a necessary tool in our dating arsenal, but he cautions that they are predisposed toward deception. Human interactions are predominantly non-verbal. There’s no substitute for direct, one-on-one encounters because people are hardwired to pick up on nonverbal cues and you’re less likely to misread the signs.
WHEN IN DOUBT, HEED OPRAH’S ADVICE Blum suggests taking in a prospective partner’s responsiveness (or lack thereof) as “more information” about who this person is. If someone doesn’t respond to a text immediately, it doesn’t mean you’ve been ghosted. But what if you don’t hear from them for a day? Or a week? Like Oprah often quotes her mentor, the late great Maya Angelou, “when a person shows you who they are (by their behavior), believe them the first time.” In the early stages of a relationship, this is your opportunity to gauge your comfort level and what your expectations
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PRIORITIZE SELF-CARE
EMPATHIZE WITH YOUR GHOST Blum suggests looking at it from both sides of the equation. “If we ghost people, it means we are in some way cut off from others. When we lose our empathy, we lose part of our soul.” This helps us detach from the emotionally painful experience of being ghosted and look at the situation from a more analytical framework. Blum goes on to explore what’s going on under the surface: “Why do we hurt others? In general, it’s often because we have our own hurt that we aren’t in touch with.”
Breaking up may be hard to do, but letting go can be even harder. It’s like ripping a band-aid off. It’s less painful if you can do it quickly. But some people have a hard time letting go. Besides the rejection, the most frustrating part of being ghosted is the lack of closure. I posed the question to Adam Blum as to whether there’s a value to
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HOW FAR WILL HE GO? THE NOT-SO-GAY CRUSADE OF PETE BUTTIGIEG
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THE INTERNATIONAL MALE DOCUMENTARY
MGM NATIONAL HARBOR THIS IS THE WAY TO WHOOPIE
For more information on Adam Blum and his team of LGBTQ psychotherapists, check out his web site at thegaytherapycenter.com where you can browse through his team of licensed psychologists in a city near you. The site also features a large collection of blogs and videos with targeted subjects affecting our community from sex addiction to parenting to navigating an open relationship, and more.
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LETTING GO AND MOVING ON
pursuing the person who’s ghosted you in an effort to gain a better understanding or closure. His response: “Generally not. Most of us obsess about this question of ‘why’ when we are dropped. Reaching out to the person typically just feeds the obsession. We need to put our resources back into our relationship with ourselves and with the people who treat us with respect and kindness.” So when is it time to let it go?” Blum: Quicker than you want to. Most people waste time hoping that someone who is unkind to us will become kind to us. That rarely happens.” In the words of Ariana Grande: “Thank you, next.” ■
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THE WAY TO WHOOPEE SOON AFTER WE ARRIVED IN THE MASSIVE SUNLIT CONSERVATORY AT MGM NATIONAL HARBOR, WE BEGAN TO NOTICE THE YOUNG MEN. GROUPS OF THREE AND FOUR STRIDING THROUGH THE TWO-STORY ATRIUM, ASCENDING THE GRAND STAIRCASE, RIDING THE ESCALATOR. SCORES OF WELL-GROOMED YOUNG MEN ENTERING THE LOBBY BENEATH THE 85-FOOT-HIGH GLASS CEILING. SPITPOLISHED YOUTH IN UNIFORM WALKING WITH PURPOSE, ONE OF WHOM EXPLAINED TO US, “IT’S THE MARINE CORPS BIRTHDAY BALL.” BY MARK A. THOMPSON
Potomac Plaza at MGM National Harbor
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MGM National Harbor Aerial Spring Exterior
WELL, THEN, AND HOW FORTUITOUS FOR US TO ARRIVE AT NATIONAL HARBOR on the weekend of such an auspicious
occasion. How very fine to be surrounded by such model military youth along the banks of the Potomac a few minutes south of D.C. In the eleven years since its opening in 2008, National Harbor has become a year-round destination attracting more than 12 million annual visitors to a vibrant waterfront community in Prince George’s County, Maryland. Notable for its iconic 180-foot observation wheel known as Capital Wheel and a riverfront Carousel, the 350-acre, $4-billion mixed-use development offers an array of maritime activities, including water taxi service to and from Old Town Alexandria, District Wharf, and Georgetown. In addition to National Harbor’s seven hotels with 3,300 rooms, visitors and residents mix and mingle at more than 30 restaurants and 160 retailers. All very nice for a town of less than 4,000 residents— but what really upped the ante for this arts-focused community was the opening in December 2016 of the $1.4 billion MGM National Harbor and its 3,000-seat theater. Architecturally inspired by the Washington Monument visible on the horizon, the 24-story luxury casino offers a 308-room hotel with 74 suites—and more than 3,100 slot machines and 200 table games. In short, MGM National Harbor is Maryland’s largest and highest-earning casino: a taste of Vegas on the Potomac with a star-studded roster of entertainers that include gay favorites such as Cher, Mariah, Britney, Idina, Christina Aguilera, Ricky Martin, Sarah Silverman—and Michael METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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Carbonaro during our visit, which made us wonder how many Marines might extend their birthday ball celebrations to attend Carbonaro’s show. For those guests who wish to entertain newfound uniformed friends, the Executive Corner Suites at MGM National Harbor are perfect for hosting intimate cocktail parties. Larger than many Manhattan apartments, the 1,465-square-foot suites offer panoramic views from the floor-to-ceiling windows that frame the corner apartments. Guests are greeted in a spacious living area with an integrated entertainment center and executive console. A king-sized bedroom is flanked by a private seating area with views of D.C. landmarks. The expansive bathroom features a powder room with backlit vanity table, as well as water closet and a double rainforest shower large enough to serve as a yoga studio—or for water sports. Located on a private deck with landscaped flower beds, the hotel’s adult-only pool is maintained at 84 degrees throughout the summer season—and when the cooler weather arrives, there’s rest and relaxation to be found at The Spa at MGM National Harbor, a 27,000-square-foot sanctuary that includes The Men’s Wet Room, a private male-only oasis. While several of the resort’s various restaurants celebrate Maryland’s maritime bounty, Fish by José Andrés takes pride of place with a spectacular nautical setting overlooking the Potomac that offers some of the best of the Michelin-starred chef’s signature seafood specialties. For a restorative brunch after a late night at the tables, head over to the waterfront district and into the award-winning Succotash, where the James-Beard-nominated chef Edward Lee blends Southern soul food with his own Korean culinary heritage for the best of both worlds. Nota bene: skillet cornbread with sorghum butter and fried green tomatoes with buttermilk dressing. Oh, and also: chocolate bourbon pecan pie. How better to work off such finger-licking gluttony—and let’s not forget that we’re talking about the South here, where butter and bacon are the backbones of home cooking—than with a round of retail therapy? Designated as The District, the luxury shopping corridor at MGM National Harbor includes the first outpost of Sarah Jessica Parker’s SJP Collection of high heels, stilettos, and handbags. Be forewarned: the SATC actress has been known to work the floor at the store to help customers shop each season’s new collection. Equally tempting for the sartorially savvy male is the haberdasher Stitched, a brilliantly-curated collection of bespoke clothing and accessories housed in a space evocative
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MGM National Harbor Chairmans Suite
MGM National Harbor Casino
of a London gentlemen’s club. There’s also the Cinderella Shoe, a gigantic seven-foot-tall stiletto made entirely of stainless steel. Created by artist Liao Yibai, the high-heeled shoe fits every selfie fetish. For gamblers in need of a good deal, Tanger Outlets is a short walk from the front entrance of MGM National Harbor. Built on the grounds that once housed Salubria, a 40-acre antebellum plantation, the outdoor mall features a memorial garden and history walk near the Potomac River Heritage Visitors Center, thereby enabling a dose of American history alongside consumerism. With more than 85 outlet stores, it’s possible to shop until sunset—and then return to the waterfront for a dinner cruise and fireworks. National Harbor’s two 700-foot piers provide access to kayaks, paddleboards, pedal boats, water taxis, and yacht rentals at the 62-boat marina, as well as the outdoor bar and lounge known as Flight Deck. Each year, the Capital Wheel attracts nearly one million passengers for a spectacular ride within the observation wheel’s 42 climate-controlled gondolas. In the summer months, the waterfront offers outdoor fitness classes, concert series, and movie nights. Though MGM National Harbor is located less than ten miles from Capitol Hill, there’s often a sense of living high above the fray in a world designed for entertainment and escape. Sometimes what you need most is the fantasy of escape—and especially when surrounded by a corps of Marines. ■
PHOTOS THIS PAGES 46-48 COURTESY MGM NATIONAL HARBOR HOTEL
MGM National Harbor Fish
Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Tampa
THE ROAD TO ROCK SOME PEOPLE HAVE ALL THE LUCK—BUT OTHERS MAKE THEIR OWN. BY MARK A. THOMPSON THE LAST TIME I’D WON ANYTHING WAS AN APPLE PIE for predicting the most
Oscar winners. Therefore, I took my seat at the blackjack table with a certain amount of trepidation. Furthermore, this table was in the private high-rollers room at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Tampa, one of the largest casinos in the States. Fortunately for guests at the recently-expanded resort, Elvis Presley’s 24-karat gold-leaf piano has pride of place in the brand-new atrium entrance where gamblers are greeted by a Presley quotation unfurling like a banner overhead:“I just can’t miss with a good luck charm like you.” Repeat three times and click your red shoes—and then listen carefully as the blackjack dealer and the pit boss explain the rules for the blackjack tournament. If you grew up as I did in a cutthroat card-playing family where your grandmother would think nothing of bagging your entire allowance, then you’ll feel right at home at the tables for a private blackjack lesson at Seminole Hard Rock. As the sixth-largest casino in the world, the resort offers more than 5,000 slot machines and nearly 200 table games. Atop
the new 14-story tower, VIP guests access a private gaming parlor with private elevators and personalized check-in. Being seated at a hundred-dollar minimum table filled me as much dread as exhilaration—that is, until I envisioned my card-playing grandmother. As Frank Sinatra sang,“Luck be a lady tonight”—and if you pay careful attention to the dealer and the cards, then you might walk away as I did with much more than an apple pie. Funny how a little luck makes you feel like living the high life. Good karma is a boomerang and at Seminole Hard Rock, there’s plenty of opportunity for sharing the wealth. The property’s recent $800 million expansion has resulted in a full-service resort notable for a three-pool wellness retreat complete with private VIP pool and cabana garden, complemented by al fresco dining at Pool Bar & Grill. As any Hard Rock guest will attest, music is Hard Rock’s blood—and Seminole Hard Rock showcases more than 500 pieces of musical memorabilia throughout the resort. Apart from Elvis’s golden piano, there’s also Lady Gaga’s crystal-encrusted Super Bowl jacket, as well as garments METROSOURCE.COM FEBRUARY/MARCH 2020
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belonging to nearly every LGBTQ+ icon from Janis Joplin to Beyoncé. In keeping with Hard Rock’s focus on musical entertainment, the resort’s brand-new, 1,500-seat Hard Rock Event Center includes a ballroom for concerts and private events. Hard Rock guests who wish to host their own concerts are urged to do so in their suites and rooms. The resort’s Sound of Your Stay in-room music amenity program offers Fender guitars (such as Stratocasters, Telecasters, and bass guitars) along with Fender Mustang floor amp and headphones (to ensure zero noise complaints from fellow guests). Complimentary vinyl records and Crosley turntables are also available, as are curated music playlists compiled by Hard Rock’s team of music experts.
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Lady Gaga Super Bowl jacket at Hard Rock Tampa
Hard Rock Tampa’s brand-new, 14-story tower houses nearly 600 spacious rooms with 77 new suites, all of which feature 42-inch entertainment centers alongside banquette seating and in-room kitchenette with coffee machine. Floor-to-ceiling windows face onto the pool complex with panoramic city views of the Tampa Bay metropolitan area. For those who prefer singing in the shower, the spa bathrooms offer walk-in rainforest showers with built-in marble benches—for private audiences. Given the resort’s 24/7 vibe, in-room dining is available around the clock—but it’s equally tempting to use your winnings at Council Oak Steaks & Seafood. As popular with Tampa Bay locals as it is with Hard Rock guests, the award-winning destination restaurant serves U.S.D.A. prime steaks dry-aged for 28 days and cut to order from the on-site butcher shop. Steaks and local seafood are complemented by a superlative wine cellar—and few desserts are more crowd-pleasing than the fabled 151 Volcano, flambéed tableside. Equally indulgent, The Rez Grill offers handcrafted cocktails that tap into every guest’s inner child, such as cocktails masquerading as sippy cups. For those guests in need of a rock-n-roll makeover, the resort’s glistening new Rock Spa & Salon provides a sanctuary for well-being and transformation. Hard Rock’s signature Rock Om yoga program enables guests to practice in the privacy of their own suites and rooms—without the stress of yoga wear competition. In recent years, the greater Tampa Bay metropolitan area has become one of the region’s more alluring LGBTQ+ destinations, thanks to various annual events such as Tampa Pride and the Tampa Pride Diversity Festival, both of which are held at the end of March. In June, the annual St. Pete
PHOTOS THIS PAGES 49-51 COURTESY HARD ROCK HOTEL & CASINO TAMPA
East Tower Luxury Suite
Barber Shop at Hard Rock Tampa
Pride weekend features the only night parade in Florida—and, in nearby Sarasota, the annual Harvey Milk Festival is a non-profit music and arts festival honoring the legacy of Harvey Milk. Cigar aficionados know that Tampa proudly wears the sobriquet“Cigar City,”thanks to the historic neighborhood of Ybor City, which was populated in the 1890s by thousands of Cuban immigrants. A cigar factory tour at Tabanero Cigars features dexterous Cuban artisans rolling handmade cigars in the heart of Ybor City. Nestled within the neighborhood, GaYBOR is immediately recognizable by the rainbow flags and GayYBOR signs along 8th Avenue and 15th Street—and the boys at Hamburger Mary’s. The annual GaYBOR Days in July attracts thousands of LGBTQ+ people and their friends and family for a jubilant street party. Adjacent to the eight-acre Hard Rock campus on the Florida State Fairgrounds, the MIDFLORIDA Amphitheatre is Tampa Bay’s largest concert-only facility with a 20,000-person capacity. Originally opened for The Cure’s Curiosa Festival in 2004, the venue hosts various music festivals, thereby enabling Hard Rock guests an opportunity to witness musical events both on- and off-property. Regardless of where you wander throughout Seminole Hard Rock Tampa, what becomes increasingly clear is how well the resort and the greater Tampa Bay area honor the Hard Rock tagline Love All Serve All. It’s enough to make you feel lucky all over again. Light a cigar and place a bet: you just can’t miss with a good luck charm like that. ■
Pool Deck Overview
The Rez Grill
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EUREKA O’HARA
Drag Queen Darling of RuPaul’s Drag Race Seasons 9 and 10 coming to HBO. BY ALEXANDER RODRIGUEZ
Where were you when you found out that you had been cast on RuPaul’s Drag Race? I was at home in my Government apartment, to be honest, wondering how I was going to pay bills and buy this wig I really wanted. Signing up for classes for the new semester at ETSU. What was it like growing up gay in Tennessee? East TN can be a lot less open-minded. Growing up I was the sissy boy (that was bullied), but I had sisters that beat people up for me. [laughs]. I didn’t come out officially until my senior year, when I lost my best friend and was convinced to stop going to church. I just fell into a nightlife because of it. You had a very close relationship with your Mom that you shared with the public. I can’t even imagine what it was like losing her. There is a lot of grief in our community, whether involving loved ones we’ve lost or ones we grieve for that are still with us. What advice can you give someone from our community in dealing with grief? I honestly don’t know. No one can tell you how to grieve, I think we all do
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it in different ways, but you have to allow yourself to grieve and process it. Turn to people in your life that love you and just talk about it. It’s only been 6 months and I miss her more than I ever thought I could miss someone. Honestly, I wish I knew the right answer. Is it hard to make real friendships/maintain relationships with your status in the entertainment industry? No, I think you must be more selective. Also, I just think everyone should be careful no matter what job you have. If you’re living life, you’re busy and you can only invest time into so many people without overextending yourself. Quality, not Quantity. At the same time, I Know No Stranger. What is one RuPaul challenge you wish you could go back and redo? What would you have done differently? Cher-Rusical, because I let an emotional moment from my past doubt my ability. I love to sing, and I enjoy it. I would have loved to have sucked up my fear at the moment and really turned it for Cher and the world. Rockstar Fantasy! Spill the tea girl, what is one gossipy thing about the behind the scenes of RuPaul that we didn’t get to see? Orange Alert was a runway that we were potentially going do on Season 10 but didn’t, so we all had orange looks we didn’t use, except Asia who used hers for the Twin Styling challenge. Then they ended up doing that Runway on season 11. You have been a, pardon the pun, big spokesperson for body positivity and self-confidence. Has body acceptance really changed in the LGBTQ community or is it just a phase? It’s not changed completely; it has a long way to go. Lizzo is helping a lot, I believe, in the idea to just accept yourself and others will follow your lead. People don’t like “different” or “conventionally sexually unattractive”, but we are changing the image of attraction. So, I believe there is hope. What would you be doing if you weren’t doing drag? I studied Radio TV and Film, so I’d hopefully still be working in TV or Film. Or I always wanted to be a Science Teacher. What is a challenge that you would add to RuPaul’s Drag Race? I miss the Puppet Challenge (The Challenge where you dress puppets up as fellow contestants while mimicking them). They recently did it on Drag Race UK and I was like, I wish we did that on Season 10. You did a makeover on Zachary Quinto. Did he mention me at all? Did you fall in love? I love my Daughter Noa Fence. What a dream to work with. I mean he is truly a gem. It takes courage to release your own music, especially since the RuPaul fan world can be chatty in a negative way. What inspired you to cross that line and go solo? For fun. Why not? I love music and performing and making art. I do my music how my character Eureka would. That’s what makes it different. What do your fans tell you the most? Proportionizing; I love you too; and girl those pants are a lil tight we can see your... muffin top (dirty minds) lol!
THIS PAGE: IMAGE COURTESY OF EUREKA O’HARA
VIEWS
LAST CALL
What do you get when you put Eureka O’Hara, Bob the Drag Queen and Shangela Laquifa Wadley together? A six-part unscripted series called “We’re Here,”set to debut this spring. Eureka, Bob and Shangela will recruit small-town residents to train for a one-night only drag performance. We got some tea from Eureka on growing up gay in Tennessee, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and wanting to be science teacher.
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