vol_10_no_3 by Michigan Review

Universit Cops Under Fire by Adam DeVore The University of Michigan administration did several things that were not well- received by many students in the summer of 1990: it raised tuition for the seventeenth consecutive year, and decided that the Ann Arbor campus was in such dire need of improved safety that a deputized security force was required. Despite the largest protests the campus had seen in recent memory and scathing denunciations by former Michigan Student Assembly President Jennifer Van Valey, the administration went ahead with its deputization plan. Now, after several months of relative calm, two recent events have reawakened the campus security debate. \ While many campus activists and

newspapers are condemning the new force, it is really too early to judge the new deputized force, according to Lt. Vernon Baisden of the Department of Public Safety and Security (DPSS). ''We need to take a longer time before we evaluate the force," said Baisden, "It would be premature to do so at this time." According to Leo Heatly, Director of DPSS, ''The DPSS is constantly evaluating its work and its emp~oyees," bu t he is aware of no plans f~u(ny formal evaluation of the deputized force's efficacy with respect to diminishing crrme on campus. Part of the trouble in evaluating the new force may be the result of the seemingly contradictory conclusions suggested by statistics gathered by the DPSS, on the one hand, and anecdotal evidence

supplied by Baisden on the other. According to data released by the DPSS, the total dollar value of reported thefts on campus in 1990 was $1,152,192, an increase of $119,132 over 1989's total of $1,033,060. "The majority of those arrested for felonious crimes on campus are not affiliated ~th the University. The unfortunate fact, however, is that the victims are mostly students," said Baisden. "" Because this fall will be the force's first operational autumn, it is impossible to predict how the force will perform. This is especially true ince fall is typically a high-crime season on campus, especially for larceny. And while some have de<:ried the deputized force as unne<:essary or even dangerous, there have been

several recent instances in which University police officers were able to effect immediate arrests, whereas had they not been deputized, they would have had to wait for city officers to arrive. In one case, a man on parole after receiving a 6-20 year sentence for a cocaine charge was involved in what Baisden called a "major struggle with an officer" when caught in the process of pillaging the School of Education Building. In another case, the University force was able to successfully apprehend a burglar who broke into a North Campus residence where a woman was staying alo,ne, if"was later discovered that the 6li'rglar had previOusly been convicted

Please See Page 15

nti-Cod'e Bill Considered in House by Jim Waldecker Students whose liberties have been violated by unconstitutional university speech codes would be aWI"~ed court costsand lawyer fees, if Michigan's House of Representatives passas a bill that it is

currently considering. The bill was drafted in response to a series of antidiscriminatory speech codes imposed at the University of Michigan and other state schools. House Bill 5059, the Michigan Colle-

giate Speech Protection Act, allows college students to bring their offending university to trial if they feel that their freedom of speech has been violated, and should the university be found guilty by the court, it would not only have to re-

10 Years! Who would believe that the

move the code, but foot the bill for being brought to trial. Introduced by Rep. Steve Dresch (D-Hancock) on August 1st of this year, the bill has not been scheduled for a house vote nor has it been scheduled for committee hearings with the Committee on Colleges and Universities. The bill has evolved as a reaction to the increasingly prevalent practice of politicizing academics - adopting

Michigan Review is 10 years old? None of those protests, "progressive" MSA presidents, shanties, and Daily editorials could stop us. To celebrate it all, this issue icludes an eight-page tenth anniversary pull-o\lt section on pages 7-14.

Included is the Very Best of Serpent's Tooth, and an interview with the legendary Regent Deane Baker. For those who never got to see the shanties (and for those of us who did, but wantto have one more laugh), there is a tribute to them on page 14. Also included are three "letters" to the editor, and a timelessJoeTypho satire. Finally, for those diehard Review fans, former EXe<:utive Editor Steve Angelotti traces the history of the Review, and explains why it will never, ever, go away.

Bob Kalmbach I NIS Michigan split end Desmond Howard makes .,the catch" against Notre Dame. For Desmond's thoughts on Michigan State and the Heisman trophy, among other things, tum to page 6. _. ·- -·· ..····--_........,..,....,~'''''......"_'~. f

.,-,-::'':-;-:::--. -. ~....:~. - -.--:- _-~-

,,0 __ 0.

_~.v _

0 _ . __

_ • ••

~,_

, _ _ _ _ __

,~ . .. . _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Muir on Indians

The Best of Serpent's Tooth

Interview: Deane Baker

The Shanties: RIP 14

THE MICHIGAN REVIew.

October 9, 1991

..;:; ....

"' )\ ,'~ ~~ '"

Serpent's Tooth "No profits for using a woman's body," a Maoist Internationalist Movement flyer loudly declares. Our question: can a woman's body be sold at cost? What is an "Internationalist" anyway? Is this some new form of discrimination? MSA has finally made it possible for controversial student groups to gain official group recognition. Predictably, some people are upset. "How are we going to withdraw recognition from a student group ... if we don't have rules for them to break," moaned Max "Yet Another" Ochoa, who suggested that MSA create a rule stating that student groups cannot break the law. We don't believe this goes far enough. MSA should derecognize any group that smells bad as a collective entity, chalks University property, doesn't wear shoes in public, wears Birkenstocks in public (anthropology majors excluded), or slaughters goats in Satanic rituals.

THE

All U-M fall term English classes have been cancelled. The English depannent was recently deconstructed. Headline of thEt Year: "Can the Brain ProvideOues to Intelligence?" (New York Times, Sept. 24). U-M President James "The Enforcer" Duderstadt recently received a big, bronze copy of the Bill of Rights at the halftime of the Michigan-Florida State game. In a ritual similar to one performed by the FSU football team, The Dude buried the plaque in a graveyard outside of the Phlegming Administration Building. , ; Speaking of Duderstadt and his unswervi~c6ffimitment to First ~d ment liberties, The Dude recently expressed his, d~t worries to the Ann Arbor News: "as these [small political] groups become more and more divorced from the mainstream of American

arxWatch:

ays In our September 5,1991 issue, we offered the Revolutionary Workers League the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to answer four questions: 1. The citizens of the Soviet Union have had more experience with hard-line communism than any other group of people on the planet. Since they have soundly rejected that horrid system in their own country, how dare you work for its implementation in the United States?

2. Why would a bureaucracy of statist, leftist Americans be any more effective than those hard-liners most responsible for the Soviet Disunion's present state of backwardness? 3. If free market competition is so disastrous and evil, why do the hardest of the hard- liners permit rampant black (read: free) markets? It is not because without them, their economies would be in even more desperate shape? 4. Why are the shelves in state stores barren, while private producers have commodities in abundance? We offered to print RWL's response to these questions, of up to one page in length, in a future issue of the Review. Since the group has not yet responded and appears to be confused and perplexed (as well it should be); we will extend the offer to the Maoist Internationalist Movement, SPARK, the Young Socialists, and economics,pl'Qie$Wr :;Illomas Weisskopf.

\./

..,

......- - --.

__......_.M._.._....". _

MICHIGAN REVIEW

thought, and more and more offensive to the public at large, will American society react against them in such a way as to stifle all of us?" Kudos to the Dude for harboring well justified fears about the nature of democracy. But we carmot believe this is coming from the same person who tried to foist a speech code on U-M students as a result of a few offensive actions perpetrated by folks far divorced from mainstream thought at the University. Once again, the word hypocrisy leaps to mind.

"We are the Establishment"

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan Editor-in-OIief ...............Brian Jendryka Executive Editor.................Adam DeVore Exerutive Editor..........................Jeff Muir

The much-heralded Review vs. Daily volleyball game was finally played in the CCRB last Saturday morning. Despite boasts and threats to the contrary, only one Daily staffer mustered the courage to appear: Weekend columnist Jonathan Chait Interestingly enough, Chait's column is 'the only part of the Daily ever worth reading. He performed admirably, but was crippled by an early injury to his knee, which gushed blood for the .. 4~· remamderof the game. Between the1<l1ee . . " IDJUTY and the absence of his fellow "JOUrnalists," Chait could not overcome the swirling, intimida ting mass of volleyball expertise that is the Review staff. Tony "Knock On" Woodlief, Eddie " Asner" Anler, and chris "Freewheeling Schizo Spike Monger" Goutier lodged exceptional perforinances, and the editorial board officially declared October 5 as "Review Greatness/Daily Cowardice Awareness Day." We hereby challenge any student organization, or group of administrative robber barons, not to show up next Saturday morning for a round of volleyball and to volunteer to be the object of biting, venemous ridicule on this page.

In hedonistic celebration of the U-M's Alchohol Awareness Week, the Review held its third annual Bacchanalian Carnival last Friday night. Jeff "But Wait! There's' Muir failed to bring his adorable kitten, "Owen," who apparently demanded an appearance fee of tuna fish and Mighty Cat. The Marhsall-Sturgis Swillfest ended up in a tie, but will probably be continued at a later meeting. And speaking of beer, we were unable to procure Coors, a staff favorite because the braqd donates large amounts of money to conservative causes, and instead drank Miller Genuine Draft, which is bottled and sold by a company that has donated money to the Jessie Helms campaign. That made.Q5feel better; especially after we became aware of the alcohol.

Contributing Editor..Karen S. Brinkman Contributing Editor ........ .David J. Powell Contributing Editor.......... .5tacey Walker Publisher............................Mark O. Stern Assistant Editor............Peter Daugavietis Assistant Editor........................Corey Hill Assistant Editor ...........Kishore Jayabalan Assistant Editor......................Jay McNeill •

Music Editor...........................Chris Peters Literary Editor..................Adam Gargiola MTS Editor............................ Doug Thiese Staff

Eddie Arner, Chris Bair, Mike Beidler, Andrew Bockelman, Ryan Boeskool, David Boettger, Mister Boffo, Kevin M. Bowen, Michele Brogley, Chris Cloutier, Joe Coletti, Brian Cook, Chris Daniel, Tim Darr, Keith Edwards, Athena Foley, Tony Ghecea, John Gnodtke, Chris Gutowski, Aaron Hamburger, Mike Hewitt, Nicholas Hoffman, Aaron Hurst, Nate Jamison, Ken Johnston, Beth Martin, Kirsten McCarrel, Peter Miskech, Bud Muncher, Crusty Muncher, Bill Murley, Hashim Rahman, Tracy Robinson, Mitch Rohde, David Rothbart, Canuan Shafii, Michael Skinner, Dan Spillane, Jay Sprout, Perry Thompson, Jim Waldecker, Tony Woodlief, Chetty Zarko. Editor-at-Large _______John J. Miller Editor Emeritus. _____.Marc Selinger The Michigan Rel7itw is an independent, nonprofit, student-run journal at the University of Michigan. We are not affiliated with any political party. Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial board. Signed articles represent the opinions of the author and not necessarily those of the Retriew. We welcome letters and articles and encourage comments about the journal and issues discusged in It. Our address is: Suite One 911 North University Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 (313) 662-1909 Copyright 1991

'-"-"- ''''jjI

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

October 9, 1991

Roving Pbotographer The Best of Roving Photographer What do you think about a mandatory class on racism?

What do you think about the $5 pot law?

What do you think of the Can minorities be racist? Michigan Student Assembly?

I I, ·

)#_, at' ~ T ~

ii .--\

Jeff Drott, LSA jul1~'~tSA? WhO is the president? Aaron Williams, the little guyr' /

Teron Jones, LSA junior: ''It's a great idea. It would help those who don't understand what radsm is about to come to terms with their own radsm It would foster conflict in the minds of aU people and help them grow as a result."

l:)Tildd Singleton: "Yes, minorities can be

racist. It seems like groups that say they can't be racist end up being racist themselves."

Why should people loin the Michigan Review?

r-------------------------,

I I I I I I

Do you ...

Oppose speech bans? Support theteaching of classic literature? Abhor the politicization of the classroom? Feel the V-M's leftists need to be challenged? If you answered lI yes" to any of these questions, support

,(.:~\~i\\

The Michigan Review

l'(,' Szechuan Sole Terry Perrone, LSA sophomore: "They must think they can fool u8,:With tricky names, but they can't. It still reminds me of road kill- it's vaguely terrdniscentof a flattened squirrel with ~drtlarks. The sauce and spice chUnks re5emble blood and maggots."

Marc Selinger, Editor Emeritus and roadie for New Kids on the Block: "My time at the Review yielded a bountiful harvest of the fruit called 'Intellect' ripe and delicious. I cast away my ignorant bourgeois attitudes and learned what words like 'bourgeois' mean."

'~--" "-' --- """"~ '."

....-.-.

_ ..

,,,

:-----._------- -

---_ . - .-.-.- ...

-~-

_--

I I I I YES! I WOULD UKE TO HELP! I'm sending my tax-deductible donation of: I I _$20 __$25 __$50 __$100 __$500 __other I I Name: I Address: -Suite One, 911 N. Universi·ty, Ann Arbor, MI 481~1265- ' . ~ ~ ._ ,.. ..: ~.~ :~ :.~ ~~~ .. ~ ~~ ~ ~- -

•

...

With your tax-deductible donation of $20 or more, you'll receive a one-year subscription to the campus affairs journal of the University of Michigan. You'll read in-depth articles about the wasteful U-M bureaucracy, be the first to hear of First Amendment violations, and keep abreast of the forces working to,erode traditional Western education.

'. ~- ,

...-

..;"~,""~

.,-

What does Mosher-Jordan dorm food really taste like?

- - ,- - _ . - "

Peter HUM, LSASenior: '1'mstoned right now.'"

-- -~

,-'"

-_.

-- ..-. -

-.....-

. ....

---- .-- ..,..- --............. .. """'''''.'''"'-, "- - ..-----~ ., -

~.-

~,~ ---

~~.~ -

~ .•

~:~.. "!"'* ~ JI!IIIII- ~::

-........---...

--'- -... ,:.:, '--

October 9, 1991

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW..

From Suite One: Editorials

if: 41

The Language of the PC Debate "The reactionary forces ... have taken over this term ["politically correct," or "PC"], and used it against us ... by charging us with chilling free speech rights. If anything, the effect has been to chill ours," proclaimed University of Michigan activist and psychology teaching assistant Pattrice Maurer in the September 3 issue of the Ann Arbor News. Maurer's contention is rapidly growing in popularity among activists across the country. It holds that the so-called backlash against political correctness, due to its self-assured forcefulness and sarcastic edge, has not only brought mountains of polemical criticism to bear on well-meaning activists, but has also resulted in the styming of liberal expression and the stifling of their views. As a result of the mass media's reaction to PC, (notably the pointedly critical articles that have graced the pages of such magazines asTime, Newsweek, and the Atlantic Monthly, as well as the pages of virtually every major newspaper from the Wall Street Journal to the Chicago Tribune and even the Village Voice), advocates of politically correct ideas now perceive that merely labelling some idea as being ''PC'' stigmatizes it in the eyes of many people. There is a dangerous, and therefore noteworthy misconception to which this position gives rise: it may be taken to suggest that the backlash against PC has been so overwhelming, that the politically correct who have attained (what the Left likes to call) "positions of power" have suddenly been dislodged. But it is a pernicious lie to suggest that administrators who blindly pursue diversity of nearly everything but opinion have been dethroned; likewise, it is patently false that radical faculty members have lost tenure or fallen into obscurity, as Maurer herseltc.iemonstrates. But if what these people mean is that the backlash has hindered inStructors from infusing th.:!!r personal ideologies into courses, then they are not only coIl'\l1)itting a factual error but lamenting something that would be utterly laudable. Their argument is not entirely without merit, however. Insofar as people refuse to seriously consider liberal or progressive suggestions simply in virtue of their falling under the rubric of Hpolitically correct ideas," they voluntarily impede their search for truth. Whosoever evaluates an idea merely on the basis of its name surely commits an intellectual error. Yet there is an ironic side to this whole controversy: many of the most outspoken advocates of speech codes - codes they think are justified because racist, sexist, or homophobic speech is supposedly not protected speech - now find themselves running for shelter under the First Amendment. Their complaint is essentially that the environment has become so virulently anti-PC that they are afraid,

in a sense, to express their beliefs. Though most of PC's opponents have not been seeking to prohibit PC speech, activists claim that an intimidating environment hostile to PC has arisen, and this now oppresses them. They appear not to mind,however,when the sword cuts the other way. Itisalright that Commitment to Diversity, a film shown to the U-M's incoming freshmen during their orientation program, for example, preaches the importance of creating and maintaining an environment wherein it is clear that certain kinds of behavior will not be tolerated. Pam Home, director of the U-M's Office of Orientation, has commented, "If our program makes someone feel afraid, or makes someone think twice about telling a sexist joke or calling someone a 'fag,' that is great!" Yet it would be naive to pretend that the intended "environment" would only deter the sort of blatant idiocy she cites while not impeding rational debate about sensitive topics. A more generous interpretation of their argument would suggest that the term "PC," because of its overuse by the media, has become meaningless. Rather than specifying a single, coherent movement, one might suggest it has become an omnibus pigeon-hole for all things radical, and as such is frequently misapplied, or at least , gratuitously applied, to many left-leaning projects and causes. Again, there is sub;stantial truth in such criticism. We now hear that smoking restrictions and yellow ribbons dedicated to soldiers overseas are politically correct. Just as the shepherd who cries wolf at the slightest provocation soon discredits himself, numerous ridiculous allegations of racism, sexism, homophobia,lookism, ageism, and other discriminatory behavior have diluted the terms' meanings. The same has become true of ''PC,'' to some extent. The regrettable thing, however, is that despite their own protestations against this renewed and redoubled oppression, "PCers" !}ave failed to glean the important lesson from what they have observed: that a9,o.ve"an; oversimplifying generalizations should be avoided, and the sanctity of the First Amendment should be preserved. They loathe being the victims of generalizations about PC, but many of them criticize "white males." They treasure their freedom of expression, but are anxious to restrict others'. They carelessly spew accusations of racism, etc., expect them to remain Persuasive and meaningful, and then accuse their opponents of making the term ''PC'' meaningless. It is for this reason that those who would seek to dismantle political correctness must attack the arguments that undergird it, not the phenomenon itself.

House Bill 5059 Defends Free Speech In a rare fit of responsible governing, the Michigan House of Representatives is debating how it can better preserve and extend individual liberty, as opposed to the variety of ways in which it can waste taxpayers' money. House Bill 5059, introduced recently by 11 House members, is designed specifically to safeguard the First Amendment rights of college students, which, unfortunately, are in dire need of protection these days. Ultimately, the bill serves as a vehicle for stemming thE: spread of oppressive speech codes that have arisen on college campuses across the state. It would achieve this by requiring that any college accepting state funding or students who receive state financial aid "not establish or enforce a rule or policy that subjects a student to disciplinary action solely on the basis of conduct that is speech or other communication protected from government restriction under the first amendment to the constitution of the United States." Many state colleges and universities, including the University of Michigan, have in recent years instituted policies that prevent the writing and speaking of words deemed offensive by minorities, women, and other groups. Which words are offensive they do not say, but administrators would like very much to reserve the power to dismiss those students who fail to harmonize with their nebulous sensitivity requirements. Judge Avern Cohn blew the whistle on those who would do away with the Bill of Rights, however, when he ruled the University of Michigan's code unconstitutional two years ago. But in light of his decision, why do we need a new law to protect a right that the FlTSt Amendment has guaranteed all along? Although the U-M code was overturned, stringent speech codes remain in place at many of Michigan's institutions of higher learning, including Eastern Michigan and Michigan TechnolOgical UniverSity. FurthermoreJ in !he,w*e of Judge ~ojl.n's dedI

,~_._-

~---

.. -,...

- ......

-- - ... - - - ... ,- - ..... --- - --- ""

"'"

....

~.-

...

..-.. ····c._ .. .

-.-~

f ~,

~- ~

~=."·

.......

--- - ~

J. "

•

sion the U-M only forged an interim speech policy. While Judge Cohn interpreted the law in good faith, others might not, especially when the breaches are not so crystalclear. By passing HB 5059, the Michigan legislature would reaffirm its commitment to First Amenment rights while acting within a time-honored tradition of codifying court decisions via specific legislation. A key part of the bill enables students whose First Amendment rights have been violated to obtain reimbursement for court costs and lawyer fees from the offending institution. Presently, one cannot seek reimbursement, only the repeal of the unconstitutional code. Ultimately, HB 5059 would make it easier for those with legitimate grievances but little cash to '1\ave their day in court," while simultaneously providing an incentive for Michigan colleges and universities to carefully consider the constitutionality of any code they may desire to adopt. Despite the bill's merits, namely facilitating the challenging of existing restrictive speech policies, insuring consistency in our legal system, and more adequately deterring the implementation of other such codes, there is one feature that appears troublesome. Should it become law as written, HB 5059 would apply to private colleges and universities whose students accept even small amounts of state funding. It is difficult to decide whether a private institution's autonomy should be abridged in order to insure students' rights as citizens, or whether private schools should be exempted entirely. Arguably, if the school accepts state funding, it should have to comply with state law; but such intervention can also be seen asa dangerous precedent for future state meddling in the affairs of private schools. Such criticism not withstanding, HB 5059 constitutes the best remedy to date for correcting free speech abuses at Michigan's public universities, and represents an impprt~f\~ ~af\~. (oT J~~l~t.ors' tp .ctet~I\<\ ~ ri2h~ Qf~t49,e,N~." •••• ., • ~ ........, ,*.~t •• ".;··~ , •• ' ••• i • • • • ·.~.,~y".w ..• ~, ••• ~~ ••• *~, t

~ t

>' ., 'f',

*' "

' *_ .,~.,

'* • >~ '.~"~} ~1t, "_~,-<I,.\'~~ '~i I'

~ ~ <

..... "'"

!'"

lc. \. t",

t".,. ,. . k

!., • ,. .. " • J!

t 'J ;: " It '~ t t ~ " ~ <~ ~ l t .' ~ \ ; '" ~ ~ ~ "'~ }".I:Q-.:~• ..t..: •• "'••"'- t t" , ...... ~, .........">!<'*:f.:~ \:. •.jjj,\...»-....... ~.:-~...... ,,".i\.~~~~

•

:!~:~..:.: ~:..:...:.;.:;.'!~..!..!..:!--!-!..:;..:.:.:.....:;.::,;.~:..!;..~!..,!_!..:.;~.;..~_:.:;...z..':.?!-!:.!!.~!-'!.-~~:::..::::!.~!:.~~!l

•.•s,=_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _......

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

October 9, 1991

But Wait, There's Muir

;'tf'~'"

Eagles Have Feelings, Too! by Jeff Muir

mascots for decades. The issue has been The curse of the Huron continues! infused with new life in the wake of the Since the Eastern Michigan University P.c. movement. Board of Regents voted in January 1991 The argument against using native American symbols as team mascots is to change the school mascot from a Huron Indian to the amazingly original based on several completely erroneous Eagle, the school's football team is a lowly assumptions. Anti-Indian-symbol advo1-5 in the win-loss column. cates claim that the practice objectifies And while much has native Americans, and brainwashes been said about the "racism" inpeople into volved in believhaving Ini n g dian masthat a 1I cots, little n ahas been s aid tive , abo u t 1fmi. cans Eagleism. "'" ~ are colProponents .'~).~~. of the Eagle legiate or '::'~ #~~~-w,;~~ logo fail to account professional for the fact that if symbolathletes. This is lar to the feminist theory which izing an athletic team with an Indian maintains that publications such as Playmascot is insensitive, naming a team after an endangered species is equally egreboy objectify women, brainwashing men into believing that all women are nymgious. Dartmouth successfully hurdled phomaniacs. this philosophical conundrum by changThe two theories are equally absurd. ing its name from the '"Indians" to the It is obvious that not all native Ameri"Big Green." Unless this refers to a hepacans are athletes, because some of them titis-ridden booger, this is not a refermake pottery and blankets. Similarly, ence to a living thing. This conjures up women are capable of more than sex, as memories of the great Dolphin--Safe Tuna is evidenced by the many actresses and Debate, when aU of those bunny-huggers dancers that are of the female persuawere mad that fishermen were killing dolphins- in the process of killing tuna! sion. Opponents of Indian-symbol masWhat about the tuna? ' cots further claim that the practice is 'There has been controversy about degrading and insulting to native Amenusing native American images for team

simi-

cans. The only problem with this theory is that every time someone actually asks the Indians what they think of the su~ jed, they say that they are honored to have their likeness as a school symbol. Dartmouth officials canned the Indian symbol claiming that it was offensive to Indians. Reporters from the Dartmouth Review then did something school officials had not: they surveyed the leaders of all 17 of New Hampshire's Indian tribes. To the dismay of Dartmouth officials,160fthe 17 had the audacity to state that they were offended that Dartmouth got rid of the Indian symbol!. "" A similar sequence of~ events accompanied the brouhaha at :atU. Following the regents' decision, somebody bothered to ask the director of the Huron-Wyandotte Association of Southern Michigan what he thought of the decision. He said that EMU officials had never contacted his group and that hisgfoup had been proud of the Huron -EMU association. According to the sensitivity activists though, native Americans really ought to be offended by Indian mascots. The only problem is, they arm't. This really, really bugs these do-gooder limousine liberals

who think that they know what should or should not offend a minority. What do those minorities know anyway? Alumni boosters are currently engaged in a campaign to boycott donations to EMU, and are planning a sit-in during the school's homecoming. The Ann Arbor News also reported that alumni donations to the school dropped 40 percent immediately following the regents' decision to dump the Huron symbol. A group of students has also formed, led by undergraduate Jacqueline J. Brock, to lobby for the restoration of the Huron logo. So, the students hate the new logo. EMU alumni hate the new logo. The Huron Indian association is insulted that EMU droI?~ its affiliation without asking .,their opinion. But hey, what do any of these people know? It should be up to the regents, those non-Indian, non-student bureaucrats to decide what is right and proper. Jeff Muir is a senior majoring in Indian Pottery Theory and an executive editor for the Review.

Letter to the Editor The next time you wish to portray "hypothetical" patrons of the Nectarine Ballroom, please be a little more general in your descriptions. All day I have been approached by people about my "writeup in the Review." Personally, it is rather insulting that such a description had so many people certain that it was of me. Most of the people who go to the Nectarine on Monday nights are college students, not the "cretins" that you imply, and I have to run into most of them every day. I am a regular at the Nectarine, so your choice

in portraying me isn't that bad, but the gross exagerations are rather offending and extreme. Please use some sensitivity when trying to use one person to epitomize a group. Signed, a very di!l6atisfied, angry and insulted "Stomper."Be careful with what you say about people, do you really want the blonde Amazon with a nose-ring on your butt? By the way, I only have one tattoo.

Anne Breidenbtlch

Correction: In the.September 25 issue of the Review it was incorrectly reported that expenses from News and Information Services included funding for the Michigan Daily. These expenses were actually for $2,890 worth of subscriptions to the Daily and were therefore not "funding" but still a waste of ~research" grants. The Rtview apologizes for this mistake.

--- . - - - --

--.-

"" "---":7.::::::=::;:~.

__, ._<>H"T.'_.''' _

.,~'~ ,; _ ' ~'_ •••

~.!-.,

October 9, 1991

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW.

Sports: Interview

" !r,' "

Desmond Howarfj Ey,es the Heisman think he has mahll'ed as a quarterback?

On October 7, 1991, Corey Hill of the Powers, I could control the offense mpre. Review interviewed U-M spilt end Desmond Howard. This year Howard is REVIEW: How importantis winning the touted as a front-runner for the Heisman Heisman trophy? Trophy. Howard hails from Cleveland, Ohio, and is a senior in Communica- HOWARD: The Heisman was never a tions. goal I had set at the beginning of the season. I realize I cannot control the votREVIEW: How important was winning ing for the Heisman. Winning it would the Iowa decisively?

HOWARD: I think Elvis has matured a great deal. Because the system is so complex, he had to mature some in order to play. Our offense comes and goes with Elvis Grbac. He makes the offense work and still has not reached his full potential. REVIEW: After defeating Notre Dame and losing to Florlda State, do you think the team is emotionally prepared to play consistently against the nation's better teams?

HOWARD: It was very important to beat Iowa as far as the team accomplishing its goals, of going to the Rose Bowl. REVIEW: How much of a sparkplug was Jesse Johnson in the Iowa game? HOW ARD: Jesse was the biggest sparkplug offensively. Jesse opened up the running game and that allowed the passing game to be more effective. No doubt, Jesse was a big spark in that game. REVIEW: Michigan State is winless this season. What is your primary concern about the Michigan State game? HOW ARD: My primary concern is Michigan not playing up to its capability. If we play the way we are capable of playing, I have no concerns at all. I want the team to play Michigan-type of football. REVIEW: Whft game do you consider to be your best same at Michigan? HOWARD: Maybe the Boston College was my best game. I scored four touchdowns in that game, something I have never done before.

definitely be wonderful, but I would not set my expectations on it because I would not want to be let down if I didn't win it. REVIEW: How much pressure do you feel is on you to win the Heisman?

HOWARD: There is not a lot of pressure REVIEW: You hIVe gOM from Heisman on me. I think the pressure is on Ty Detmer hopeful to Heisman candidate. Do you and David I<linger. After Klinger threw really believe yoU will win the Heisman nine touchdowns, the.~ started to ' this year? carve his name on ~ HeiSll'\4l:n/ ,at lea~t until the Miami game. Houston was HOWARD: We have a long season ahead hyping Klinger. The school was using pro- ' of us. I am just happy to have my name paganda techniques to promote him, mentioned because it is such a prestigious which Michigan is not doing for me. award. One of my goals is to be the best college player I can be. REVIEW: Who do you consider to be the top three contenders for the Heisman? REVIEW: Do you believe your Heisman hopes would be helped if you were the HOWARD: After Amp Lee's performance primary option for the offense? against us, I would think he would be considered in the top three. There is a lot HOWARD: Michigan is a run-oriented of talent around the country but I think offense. Receivers are not the primary Casey Weldon, Carl Pickens, and myself weapon for the offense. You don't know are good candidates. how many times you will get a pass call and that makes it ,more difficult for me. If REVIEW: You were a high school teamI was to carry the ball as much Ricky . mate of Elvis Grbac. How much,do you 'f'."

J:i ,,~ >~'

'>.. r

-l~, · ',~,"' /"' "~-OI-" '~"''':'

.., ~;.."'~,,;

~· .J' : :t: /~f!·~.· .; ",

i :" . ',"~!I,

tL ""I >~""1,, ,!jc;'-» "\ '....~'. ",.<~\'.,7 J' .~ .,:" ' ,~

....

REVIEW: Were you shocked by the 4th down pass against Notre Dame and the subsequent diving reception? HOWARD: No. We had discussed the play during the timeout. I had a feeling we would throw the ball. Once I caught up with the ball, I felt I had no other choice but to catch the it. REVIEW: U Walter Smith and Yale Van Dyne were thrown more passes, do you think opposing teams would focus on you less than they are now?

HOWARD: They will have to get more passes on a consistent basis. They can't just get more passes in one game because teams will double-team Walter or Yale. I think teams will always focus on me just HOWARD: I think because of the potential threat I pose. the loss will wake us up and prepare us REVIEW: Who has influenced you the for the battle that is most on and off the field? before in the BigTen....._ We have to consid,er "'flOWARD: My father has influenced me what our biggest the most off the field. On the field, when I goals of the year are got to Michigan, Chris Calloway and Greg and they are to win McMurtry were the receivers here before the Big Ten outright me and I had a chance to play with them and win the Rose for two years. Bowl. REVIEW: What are your long term goals REVIEW: Have you in life? considered your poHOWARD: I want to further my tentia! value to an NFL team? educationin theSchool of Social Work and HOWARD: At this point, I definitely plan Social Therapy. I would like to give back to return to the University of Michigan to ' to the community thatIcarne from I would earn my degree. I pian to return because I like to keep my parents happy, and put feel college is the bestfoW' or five years of them in a situation where they don't have yout life and you should enjoy it while it to work again. I can't measure my happilasts. I plan to make this experience last as ness through material things. long as I can. REVIEW: Truthfully, why did you come REVIEW: Where did you get the name to Michigan? "Magic;'? HOWARD: I had the opportunity to play HOWARD: It came from a basketball under a living legend, Bo Schembechler, coach back in Oeveland when I was on a which is a once in a lifetime opportunity. My father was also pulling for Michigan recreation team in the seventh grade. which is why I really came. REVIEW: Do you see any similarities betweenyourseifandformerNotreDame REVIEW: How do the students react to star Raghib"R.ocke~ Ishmail? you when you walk around campus? HOWARD: Weare about the same size as HOWARD: I think a lot of students don't far as height and weight. We are both very recognize me because of my small size. explosive athletes. He is a little bit faster The students that do recognize me are than me but I can catch better than he can. rather receptive toward me. Rocket was more of an all-purpose guy, fhe U-M/MSU game in East Lansing will be (he also ran out of the backfield) but I have televised by ESPN this Saturday. The kickoff is not run out of the backfield. cet for 12:30 pm. Corey Hill'sexpret prediction:, U- M 38, MSU 10. Sorry George. . :r ,)1'." :~.': 1-';':!, ~,"-~,,,""-.,,

.'~

",' it ,:

"'~ ~', ,, '11 ''t ~,~

'l"

~•

:">, ,:f"

,~--,,- ' '' :''''";';:'';";;::;-;-:;-:-:.~-.;.-::::'''':;;;;'--"--"."

~ ~,

.,.-.:, ':",) . •

-""",,,.-...-'

.....

.1f,

~ 't!: ,:;:;~ ,.:"'.:

.' -':' ~." "'_'*,~'"*

~\ ,., "~ '':1 '" :~

'~ . ' :t

.- . :

.c. ....

{E.

.. . .

,- !

I' II Ii

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

October 9, 1991

.\~

Tenth Anniversary Issue

"~': " ~.4'

The Ver Best of Serpent's Tooth Editor's Note: Serpent's Tooth has long been the most popular and most hated feature of the Review. Marked by biting commentary and venomous wit, the Tooth has sought to laugh at the ridiculous and scorn hypocrisy. It first appeartd in the second volume of the Re-view, and no, it won't go away anytime soon.

The Nuclear Free Zone proposal will fine or imprison anybody testing or detonating a nuclear weapon in Ann Arbor. That almost sounds like a new fonn of deterrence. (Nov. 84)

Hats off to Arnold NewtSalamader ellameleon Gingrich for justifying his ambitious name, slithering away from a previously- made commibnent to give this journal an interview. It just so happens that our reptilian crony did not realize that his sponsored Grenada Week activities would occur during the time he arranged to speak with us. Oh well, what does one expect from a native of the same state as Jimmy Carter? (Nov. 85) In the Oct. 28 issue of the Campus Report, an "analytical journal" produced by MSA, V. Terry Hinlch rambled, babbled, and blabbered a piece entitled "America the Ugly," Believe it or not, however, we actua1Iydidagree~thoneTerryblestate

ment. That is "I am ... ashamed to be an American." Well, Terry, we are also a~ that you are an American. (Dec. 85)

'~'-~,..,--,-----",-",,-~-.,,~-.".

Many issues of the Review have been trashed recently, so when we spotted somebody taking 30 copies of the same issue, we confronted him. He expressed his intention to read all of them. For future reference: When a group of Reviews has the same cover, they are identical inside as well. (Feb. 86)

LaGROC member and former MSA Veep Wendy Sharp, in reference to the University Health Services' AIDS brochure, recently told the University Record, 'We need explici t descriptions of sexual practices that might be considered risky." But Wendy, you can buy magazines for that. (Feb. 89)

September 27 was "No Crime Day" in Detroit. It is not known whether Mayor Young went to his office. (Oct. 86)

Condom vending machines at Michigan State University were recently removed because of slow sales, according to Ann Arbor News. MSU students must have been unable to figure out how to work the machines. (Sept. 89)

The U-M's Kelsey Museum of Archaeol-

ogy recently distributed a press release concerning its new exhibit, "Crowning Glories: Persian Kingship and the Power of Creative Continuity." According to the flyer, the exhibit displays "Works of art, rare photographs, and drawings." Rare indeed!We had no idea the Persians had cameras! (Mar. 90).

Before losing the Second Ward CityCouncilelection,Democratic/Greencandidate Valerie Ackerman had some interesting things to say to the Ann Arbor Metro Times: "Development - it really pisses me off .... The free market doesn't work. If the free market worked, I'd be for it." Maybe Valerie would have had better luck in Cuba, with the Cuban Communist Party. At least they rig the elections there. (Apr. 90)

MSA held its first annual Earthf~ on Saturday, September 26. Given that this was a Football Saturday, the event was Wring a recent speech sponsored by the poorly attended. Therefore, one should alwaysrememberthe"SevenP's":Proper Black Student Union, Abdul Alim Prior Planning Pt).v~nts Piss Poor Per- - Muhammed, a leader in Louis forrnance. (Oct..81) ~ Farrakhan'sNationofislam,said, 'There is only one devil walking on this earth >"" and he has been identified by God as I once dreamed that I opened the Daily being the Caucasian whi teman," accordThe James Duderstadt theme song, to the and was amazed at the fine editing. the inB to the Ann Arbor News. Thanks BSU .. metridy oCthe Beatles' "Hey Jude" (with for helping to dispell the myth that only/ a few liberties): relevant and undistorted news stories, whites can be racist. (Oct. 89) and the carefully reasoned editorials. I Hey Dude, marvelled at the way they managed to Yau're 5() diverse, quote students throughout the articles You'd take a good school, and letters without altering their meanFirst we had MLK Day, during which And make it worse. ing. Then, thoroughly refreshed from the classes were cancelled in celebration of Remember, when yau judge by the color of the civil rights movement. Now it's Febreading, I walked across the psychedelic skin, ruary and we have "Black History fields in search of the marshmellow And let them in, people. (Dec. 88) Month," full of lectures and musical perYau lcrwer stllndards... fonnances. With all of this going on, one (Apr. 90) would think that the contributions of Multi-zillionaire Donald Trump has deGeorge Washington and Abraham Lincided to become an administrator at the coln were being overlooked, but this is Scholars at the State University of New University of Michiganin order to "make not so! A "President's Day Pie Sale" was more money." (Dec. 88) York at Albany have determined that recently held at the Union, thus preservmale college freshmen have nearly 8 ingthe U- M'slongstandingcommitment sexual fantasies per day, as opposed 4.5 to American values. (Feb. 90)

", ... ::::::.~',"",:, , (U"'"

....".\

4GC.Lj "._ i "

,~_". t:t;::;;:N!;J """, U:::,_><_.%CZ.i£WJaS';;C .LeJ .

lA _~ t < .. ~

JOO;

_ n••_·_.· "

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

October 9, 1991

"{:

for the females, reports Fortune. Assuming this sample can be extended to include all undergraduates, the U-M's 20,374 male and 16,100 female students conceive a total of 235,442 sexual fantasies per day. In a related study, experts have determined the average American has one breast and one testicle. (Sept. 90) The Latin American Solidarity Committee (LASC) is one of several groups that plans on protesting the U.S. military presence in Saudi Arabia, reports the Ann Arbor Metro Times. What they say about students' lack of geography skills must be true. (Sept. 90) Apparently ACT-UP didn't like the article we printed about them last month. At one of their innumberable protests, the group burned a September issue of the Review. The moment was nicely captured in a Daily photograph. Unfortunately, ACf-UP must not have been aware of our printing procedures, which involve noxious chemicals and radioactive waste. The Review is safe to read, but burning it releases harmful, carcinogenic substances into the air - things even more dangerous than our loathsome, hateful opinions. If anybody would like further information, meet us next week on the Diag. We will be burning copies of Huckleberry Finn and will happily dis-

nl~

H,'9i'X iU; \ ' !IIW

Mlt1i.l{J.t 1ll

0\ nnlJ1W

Is it ok if we call them flamers now? (Oct.

At a recent discussion on the Persian Gulf War which was part of International Wymynz Week, Ms. Karima Bennoune(described asan "Arab-AmeriIn celebration of Student Activism Week: can law student"} made the following deeper than deep remark: "There should CHALK DOESN'T STOP GUNS! !! GUNS bea rule against Americans killing people STOP CHALK!!! CHALKISM!!! whose names they cannot pronounce." GUNISM!!! STOP STOP GUN STOP Yup. And there should be a rule against CHALK CHALK!!! A special thanks to Iraqis killing Kuwaitis they don't know those studen t acti vists who contributed a much-needed intellectual discourse conand whose names they can't pronounce, cerning the campus deputization issue. and against people killing people who (Nov. 90) they don't know and whose names they can't pronounce, and against people who might be known but whose names can't be pronounced. Yet if you know some"Given enough time with a type-writer, a monkey will eventually write Hamlet," " one, and you can pronounce his name, that's;it: you should have the right to kill a wise man once remarked. Our queshim. How do you pronounce tion: How long will it take Daily Week"Bennoune," anyway? (Mar. 20, 91) end MagaZine columnist Phil "Blathermaster" Coh~ to write some.... thing intelligible? .oUr apologies to aniFirst, Jenny Van Valey gives up the MSA mal rights activists - w,.,e didn't mean to presidency without a fight. Second, Corey imply that monkeys are stupid. (Dec. 90) Dolgonresignsfrom the Assembly. Third, "Dooder State College" is axed from the Does the U-M really have a "woMEN's STUDies departMENt?" Gasp! Hop on it, feminists. Better change the spelling on this one quick! (Feb. 91)

~~i ~! ~~~;\~

"f" ~I

"'"~ l" ~i'l

'\'

Tired of Tetris? Intramural basketball too taxing? How about a game of affirmative action chess? It goes something like this: black moves first, then white can't move, then black pawns get promoted no matter what. (Sept. 5, 91)

,' '',' ~'''::''......~

.. " 0,\,':0: ,,,,",':0:.' ·m·-'·.___.. . y .. w ......-."w.""

l;~li' RfNlEW

Main Bookstore : 549 East University Art/Engineering Store and Electronics Showro om : '17 South UniverSity Phone: 313-662-320 Monday-Friday 9:00-6:00 Saturday 9:30-5 :00 Sunday Noon to 4:00

'MJ( 11Ic,.\N

Aren't the words MENstruation and MENopause inherently sexist? The failure of SAPAC, the Wymmin's Stoodies Departmynt, and U-M feminists in general to address this critical issue betrays the fact that even they are comfortable working within our evil patriarchal system We just don't know who to trnst anymore. (Apr. 16,91)

A ",

mit

t!i:

n ~~vl'Rw

t ""

Daily. All three had been recent targets of our acerbic wit. Mere coincidence? You be the judge. We are the Establishment. (Apr. 3, 91)

90)

nn:

But what about Lesbian Date Rape? (Mar. - 2091)

cuss health concerns after the bonfire. (Oct. 90)

; '.,. • " ~ ~ ~

.. ,

.t.

. ..

-'-->-~~--' ~, ~."",,,.,,,,,,.-,,~,,,,,---., ~--,,,,.,

.......,...,-,. . ,,--

- .,,,,........,-

-,.,-~-....---------------

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW.

Interview

October 9, 1991

'" 1C-

Baker Discusses Money, Speech, Gays On September 30, Andrew Bockelman and Adam DeVore of the Review interviewed University of Michgan Regent Deane Baker. Baker, a Republican, was reelected to a third eight-year term in November, 1988.

that was frivilous or unsatisfactory to many viewers. And some people think it is very wrong, and some people think it is not so wrong. I think such funds should be used for their intended purpose without being spent only anything questionable.! think the injury to the University is

REVIEW: How has campus changed most dramatically in the past 10 years? \

BAKER: The most dramatic international change has been the collapse of the inter~ national communist system. In part, it signals a rejection of the far left intema~ tionally, and that will have repercussions in the United States. The American Left has always mirrored the international left - it has always been essentially Marxist-Leninist in its orientation, and now it sees all its icons crumbling into rubble. The free market has prevailed. The oppressive system of communist government - oppressive with respect to the freedoms of speech and trial and all those things that make up a free society - is changing, and so the model the left used for so long is being reduced to ruins. The same is true on campus. Those who have been the defenders of the Evil Empire for all these years are going to have to rationalize away or give some explanation of why their model societies have collapsed. REVIEW: The mtdla has recently drawn national attmlionto the U-M'sso-called misallocation• of federal funds earmarked for medical mearth. Although the U-M has not been required toretum any government funds, do you think that the negative press has had an effect on the University? BAKER: The phrase misallocation is probably ~entire1y correct. In brief, the process was a negotiation and a discussion with the federal government about indirect overhea4 costs. I think the University was injured, but whether it is a large injury or a small injury remains to be seen. There is the perception that the University expended money in a manner

sort of tone of spirit. In my nearly 20 years in association with the University, its integrity has never been atacked. In this case it was - perhaps wrongly, but nevertheless it has been attacked, and I think the University has to look not only atiliereality, but it also has to look at the perception. If the people think there is wrongdoing, then people think there is wrongdoing. You have to do everything that you can do to prevent that, because the people' s relationship with the U-M is based on trust, and if people start doubting that trust, then the injury is substantial. REVIEW: State Representatives Dresh and O'Connor, among others, have recently introduced house Bill 5059, "The

Michigan Collegiate Speech Protection Act." Under the proposed law, a student whose First Amendment rights have been violated by a Michigan college or university could sue not only for repeal of the unconstitutional code, but also court costs and lawyer fees. Do you support the bill? BAKER: Idon't know the details of the proposal itself, butIknow that it is a reaction against the speech codes at several universities.lcancommentingeneral. I am a strong opponent of speech codes. I think they have no place on a collegecampu§,. . They injure"the students, they injure the pr~ fessors, they injure the institution, and they injure the pursuit of truth in that they inhibit discussion. I have seen many examples of that since the first codes were passed three years ago. If I were to put a priority on change, I would say even our intrim speech code should be removed as soon as possible because it inhibits the search for truth. REVIEW: One of the latest arguments putforth by the politically correct crowd is that the backlash against them has been so biting and overwhelming that they are now themselves oppressed, that they are the ones being silenced and stigmatized. What do you think? BAKER: The "overreaction argument" is a defensive mechanism, because the anti-PC people are right. There has been

such an overwhelming response, and PC has deservedly received so much scorn and ridicule, because it's such a bad idea. They have no defense, so they say their rights are being destroyed. Free speech has diminished on this campus - in the classroom, in political arguments, and in other spheres. My hope is that this will change, but campus has been injured. REVIEW: A report recently issued by the Lesbian and Gay Males' Program Office entitled "From Invisibility to Inclusion" recommended over one hundred reforms to improve the campus' climate for homosexuals. What is your assessment of the report? BAKER: First of all, I do not think it was a scholarly report. It certainly does not come anywhere near to meeting thescholarship of this institution. It is more of a polemic than a publication that you would expect to come from this University. It is entirely one-sided; There is no 'tjuarter given - and I mean that in the warfare sense-to any view except theirs. Furthermore, its basic premise is false. They say that 13 percent of the people on the campus are homosexual or lesbian, and they use as their authority the Kinsey report. Kinsey's report had been discredited time and time again by other investigators.ArecentstudybytheUniversity of Chicago bears some attention and it supports a number somewhere between one and four percent, one ~rcent being active homosexuals, one or two in the balance of being participants and theothers are bisexual people. Apparently, the rationale is that if you say that 13 percent of the people or 10 percentis chosen, that gives a stronger argument. The report is actually an outline, a restatement of a national strategy of the lesbian and gay orgaiznations around the country to change the definition of a family. If any or all of the changes that are proposed in there are to be considered for implementation, then there should be a study that looks at the other side of the matter, such as the arguments against sanctioning h~ mosexuality. Historically, Judaism, the

I -"-~~~-.-"-':""~ ~>---'~.. -'-::-:-'=~,~';;:;:;7~i;;;::<'-"'>"'·~·";;;~~~~~~~";';.;"\Jlhi'\li'(;ilS;

"'\""""""""<'1".

October 9, 1991 ____________________ THEMICHIGANREWEW

Ode to Deane Baker

\:. ,~,.,

Moslem religion, Christianity - really every major religion throughout history - has stood against the concept of h0mosexuality, and I think that there is a whole series of reasons for that. There are philosophical reasons, there are societal reasons - for instance, the effect of homosexuality on family structure, and the effect it has on society. It is important to properly layout the arguments, and to challenge the report. REVIEW: What is your reaction to MSA's recent cutting of the Ann Arbor Tenant Union's (AATU) budget? BAKER: A tenants' union has no place being funded by University students at all on an involuntary basis. If they want to support it voluntarily, that's fine. But when one looks at the AA TV and sees that it tried to put a rent control law in place in Ann Arbor, and that it recently worked with the Homeless Action Committee (HAC) to prevent the building of a parking structure in downtown Ann Arbor, it becomes clear that they do not specifically concentrate on student affairs. And why should your dollars go to support somebody working for a political goal ",rjth which you do not agree? You should not be taxed for a cause you disagree with. I take a different view of the student government, which I think has a legitimate role to fill on campus, if the students indeed want a student government.

State of Michigan decided not to pay for maintenance this year, and the University needed the money, so the new fee was proposed. But I disagree with that approach.

Our tenth anniversary's a worthy occasion, to give praise to someone who's truly amazin'. This one is a regent of moderate fame, a really fine fellow, Deane Baker his name. Republican regent and Ann Arbor resident, of Ann Arbor Group developers he is president, to which job he gives the bulk of his time, when not working at Fleming to save ev'ry dime. For 19 years now he has been here among us, though of regents alone he's no U-M alumnus. A B.A. from Wisconsin he earned some years ago, he came to Ann Arbor, Harvard M.B.A. in tow. What's more, on the side, he is able to train a student to properly fly an airplane! Though we could say more of his talents, why bother, he's regent, developer, husband, and father. And we would forget to name at our peril, then, his long happy marriage to lovely wife Marilyn . His name hear We often, for such is his ciue, though often it's raised amid much cry and hue. By ACT-UP and leftists he often is hated, at times by the Daily he's pointlessly baited.' Still, most Michiganders hold not the opinion, of the radical Left's yellow jo~~t minion. When he was last re-elected eighty-eight, not a one had more votes among all in the state. Regent Baker is known for his fiscal concern which all the Administration needs so to learn. He questions arcane and- extraneous f~, such as when created "demands" to appease. · He fights the mantra of political correctness, preferring true freedom and simple directness. Nor fears he to challenge homosexual lobbies, which protest him often as one of their hobbies. Last spring one small group made just such a quest, only to find that he had them outguessed. When that day to his home the lot did repair, Cider and doughnuts awaited them there. What then is the gist of Baker's position? Common sense values and Western tradition. By these grew America great, did it not? Though this the U-M sometime sadly forgot. Though often his values are greeted with jeers, we're thankful he'll .be here at least five more years.

BAKER: He has the dilemma of overcoming a $1.3 billion misstatement of fact left by the Blanchard administration. I think he's got to cut the budget, and I . think, in spite of his cuts, he has treated Michigan universities about as well as could be hoped, and maybe a little better than he should have. He approved a four percent increase for us, which, under pretty austere circumstances, was quite generous.

BAKER: The only fees that have not become permanent are those that have been strongly opposed by the students. I recall two cases. One is the PIRGIM fee. The argument over that environmental tax lasted for several years, but when enough signatures were eventually collected, the involuntary assessment was rescinded. The other case was more reCent. The student government cut the AATU budget and reduced student fees. But with regard to the maintenance fee, I opposed it because I think that if a charge is to be made, it should not be called a fee. It should be part of the tuition process. The

-"'",---

by Fulgendo Batista

REVIEW: What do you think of Governor Engler's budget cuts?

REVIEW: The U-M recently adopted a $50 per term maintenance fee. Why wu that passed in addition to the tuition increase, and is it pet'D\anent?

,.""'*'::."1' ........

REVIEW: What do you foresee for next year's tuition?

BAKER: I don't see how it will decrease, but other than that, it depends on the rate of inflation as well as pther factors. But I think we're running into the free market price ceiling for what w~.pffer here. We have to look for ways of keeping costs down if we are to remain competitive with our peer institutions.

REVIEW: Might trimming the bureaucracy help keep costs down? BAKER: 1've always believed it possible to reduce the cost of running this University. The philosophy of the administration at this time is to change how the institution thinks about costs. The question is whether the process of reducing the bureaucracy should be done quickly or over a long period of time, say five percent per year. Running the University could be a lot less expensive, but we are trying to achieve that without a loss of serviCe to students an4. without causing mapr dislocation or grave personal injury to the faculty and staff.

Fulgendo Batista is a graduate student in Latin American government at the U-M. He has been a Ph.D. candidate for 32 yean, and drives ·, 1962 Lincoln Contiental, so don't cut him. off on the highway•.

~ .. r~

.:;4!iii:

••,,:<-:,;

....UC.AR DvtfM,lf

: <,':.l.

Jof!n 0. t_ All

'.- 0::::,.'

'7i

..:..:---:..

; ..,:><'

f!r,..':.,..

i:"

:11

, ~~~,.. ,'-)~ ~

M .

,:. ___

~M""~ ~ ~

....,.N'............,.....v." ,.....

........

~"y,

o ., ,,.,.,,"''' .,.. ~~'''''' ''.~;

... _ '''''_........, ....

,, ~~"""

....- ., _ _""'.'.w__._

_ ,......

..._--...."'_

_ ""_""'~

~'XQ

~ -- -· "") _ -."_~!I _\

..-~ "' ....

tliJf~. ~· ~~

..... ~_':;AW_".ii

___

.......

. ."______ __.'..___.

_,_~~~IRM'>i~

~_~

IIIMI _ _ __ _....._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __

October 9, 1991

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Tenth Anniversary Issue

(<-

)~, , ~,

The History of the Michigan Review by Steve Angelottl Ann Arbor, 1981. There is no glitz or

neon on South U. The Michigan Student Assembly (MSA)iscontrolled bytheradical fringe. The concept ofa "conservative coalition" presiding over MSA would cause loud peals of laughter. Students proudly sport buttons proclaiming themselves "politicallycorrect." Michigan Daily columnists explain why it's okay to spit on campus conservatives (few read the piece-the Daily costs 10 cents, which is 10 cents more than most are willing to pay for it). Preacher Mike makes his Diag debut Corey Dolgon is only a concept. The Michigan Review is not born, rather it spontaneously generates from the bubbling residue of campus radicalism. I joined the Review during the paper' s third year, bu t since I followed the paper closely before joining and worked on it from 1984-88, I can offer some perspective on the Review's history and its continually evolving role at U-M. A handful of students announced the formation of the Review in 1981. Some outsiders speculated whether this new paper would follow in the footsteps of the infamous Dartmouth Review. The Dartmouth Review, based at Dartmouth College, featured sharp, biting humor that often spilled over into deliberately offensive articles, such as a notorious piece on affirmative action written in "jive" talk. Whether racist or "merely" offensive, such pieces detracted from the serious journflism and sharp insights being disseminated on the Dartmouth campus. The early leaders of the Michigan Review avoided the Dartmouth image. Instead they printed lengthy limy-term-

wide segment of the U-Mpolitical paper-condensed" pieces spouting con- ments were forgotten; the idea was to spectram. Even the liberal leadership of servative viewpoints on national and in- publish the paper on a monthly basis and the U-M College Democrats often told us ternational issues, with only occasional gamer acceptance on campus. Publishing monthly was easy. Garhow much they enjoyed our issues. bits of humor and local reporting. As the nering acceptance on a campus whose Because we hit back when attacked, paper began to settle into a niche, the the trashing of the paper stopped. Being articles became more focused on the cam- politics were still dominated by the neemocked as a hypocrite in front of thoupus and more bitin& while aVOiding the M~st fringe was not. The radicals' idea of fun was to play Houdini and sands of readers each month deterred excesses that so tainted the Dartmouth make hundreds of Reviews disappear. radicals from trashing the Review. Review. The Review then settled into a new The reaction to such an innocuous Our response was to tum up the heat. role, more moderate than it was in the intellectual paper was amusing. The Rather than ignoring them and hoping Michigan Daily reviewed almost every they would thenbenice to us, we mocked beginning (or is today). Outsiders (even from the Daily, egads!) came in to add a issue of the Review. Someone (usually a the radicals in both subtle and direct Daily editor) would write a lengthy piece fashion. Joe Typho's satire, usually fojournalistic edge to what had been a mostly polemical publication. Someconon the editorial page, responding to the cused on those goofy radicals, combined entire issue. The Dal1y never accorded servatives complained that the Review with the Serpent's Tooth column and had gone soft. From their political perthis "honor" to any other campus publi- editorials, skewered those who were tolspective they may have been right, but cation. For some reason, they felt threat- . erantofeverythingexceptconservatism. 1< By bashing the radicals, we took adthe Review had evolved beyond being the ened. The Daily was not the only group vantage of the true political fault line on "Imti-Daily." We were featuring not only threatened bytjle appearance of an altet~ campus-not the line between campus some of the best writers on campus, but native viewpOint. Issues of the Revi6w liberals and conservatives, but the line also some outstanding journalism. were frequently gashed by various cam- between campus radicals and everyone I left Ann· Arbor and the ReView in pus radicals, WhOse belief in the First else. Thereisa clear difference between a 1988, coincidentally at the time the first Amendment did not extend to those with liberal and a radical. Liberals believe, U-M "politically correct" speech code differing views (how little times have much as conservatives believe, tha.t . . "went into effect. Unlike the radicals who America is a fundamentally good nation first opposed speech codes then supchanged). with flaws that need correcting. Radicals ported the codes because of the ability to By the time I came on board in 1984, terrorize opponents, the Review has conthe Review had published sporadically believe America is a lie, the true "evil empire." Because of this split between sistentlyopposedallnon-academiccodes over a three-year period. The staff was the radicals and the rest of campus, the dedicated, but it fought with itself, for PI~ See Page 13 Review developed a following across a both personal and political reasons. (libertarians and conservatives have always had a shaky relationship). The infighting threatened to kill the paper. The next leadership generation (1985-88) under Are you forever saying the wrong thing, not up on the cau~f the able editorship of Seth Klukoff the-month, or are just too bright to listen to another know-nothing brought some stabiIity to the paper. Takprofessor re-write American "Herstory"? Proclaim your politcal ing a page from Bo Schembechler's lead"dysfunction" with pride! U.S. News & World Report's John Leo reports 21 dangerous new "isms" affecting college campuses on the ership manual (the pre-Ernie Harwell edition), Seth made the paper, "the team," back of each "Politically Incorrect" T-shirt. ~''spe ' Qe ' the top priority. Egos and political argu" ~ ~.ntr:_ ISh-.

Are you Politically Incorrect?

f r

,,~~l

• ,:,,'1

oCe~IS\~

Jilt

'<l0llll)

I•

:r '""'

CiCisll'l"

...Politically Incorrecl ......... ----. ......... --- . ......... .................. -........---....... ......--- .. ... --_ ......... ..

~-.-ow. l

!'C_-.~,", --,, ..

-_ .. _- ........ ..

,,\\S~' ....-~-.J L-a

"S\~~'

;l l r·.

'<l

entaj ~

..~?J~

"LoOkisll'l"

Front

C-:-:':':':':':-:'j ::......... Back

Please specify size when ordering (S M L XL), all shirts are white Haines Beefy-T's and the lettering is in Red and Blue.

California Residents please include 8 .25~ Sales Tax

Los Gatos, CA 95030

___

''''~'~''''

~a.\ ~ "'-let

Just $13.95 plus $2.50 S/H

Politically Incorrect Products 17516 Old Summit Road

W"~"~'"<'""_~_'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

e'i-\~~

- - _.... _ ..__"".."'".,.!Ii._

'''''''~~_)'''''')'''''''~","~\fj "_m_~_m,

........................_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _..

~, October 9, 1991

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Tenth Anniversary Issue

" :iy" "

Bo lingmania, Coors, and the PSC by Joe Typha

This makes no sense.We should wear sandals or go barefoot" "We must occasionally adopt the methods of the fascists in order to gain support," Delbert McSchwein responded. "1 refuse, however, to tie my laces, which symbolize emotional bondage." Eudora was alsoupset when she saw the bowling balls. I'} don't understand it at all. These balls all have three holes in them.!t is symbolic of the three-world Trilateralist mentality, where we separate the state capitalist Soviets from the corporate capitalists and cleave them from the Third World, who offer the best examples of one-party rule and peace and justice for those with the guns.! think we should find balls with two holes." McSchwein did not say anything, because he thought the three holes represented the Christian trinilJ" which ac-

The People's Sit- In Co-op(PSC) held its first annual Bowlingmania at Dexter's Capitalist Lanes last week.The event was a fund raiser for the group's 1991-92 activitiescalendar. About 15 dedicated PSC members showed up for the event, which raised $319.57 from the local community. For many in the group this was their first contact with bowling, a true work· ing class sport. "Ooh. Is that a hammer and sickle on his arm? How proletarian." said Eudora Phillips, looking at the hairy arm of a man on the ''Ernie's Demolition" team. The Chairman corrected her, "It's an anchor." There were problems, of course,espically with the group's rented bowling shoes. PSC anti-conscience FB74 complained rather loudly, "Why'arelbey forcing us to conform to their standards?

."'

tively sought to keep the masses content within their terrible predicament.He would purge Eudora later. The bowling finally started.After Delbert's first gutter ball, the Space Weaponsare Bogus (SWAB) leader Elliott Wren screamed, "Lights! Look, they've got a pin-counter and it uses electricity! This could be an application of military research or something! Turn it off!" The Chairman showed wisdom in saying, ''Let us ~gno~ it." FB74 then Il(!)ticed . the pin pattern. "Once again we bigotry on the part of the powers that.ge.10 pins. Always 10 pins. Most of us tulve 10 fingers. Coincidence? I doubt it. Why not 17 pins? We heptadecilhalists believe that we must recognize fuose in our society that have 17 fingers." The Chairman noted, ''FB, you can't

put 17 pins into a triangle." Things settled down after that, at least until the seventh frame, which was a beer frame (FB had to buy). The group enjoyed their pitcher of Lowenbrau, until the waitress noted that she had accidentally given them Coors. The group ran from the building screaming and spewing andthey have not been seen since. If you have any information on the PSC's location, call Jim at 555-5319. He wants his shoes back.

see

Joe Typho holdsaMaster's Degree from the U-M School of Natural Resources and Buddhist Studies. He now teaches Agriculture 101, "Which End of the Cow do You Milk?" at Michigan State University. .; ,

The Good, the 'Bad, and the Twaddle' of her own generation, who have the guts to call it like they see it! Good luck... Thanks for having the guts to publish your findings. • • ReVIeW IS Bad The first issue of the Michigan Review was precisely what I hoped it wouldn't be-a smug, radical journal which seriously misrepresents liberal thought .. .If weevernededanotherjokebook,thesocalled Michigan Review certainly takes thecake ... U-Missuretolosesomemore rating points in the academic world now thatthisdimwitted delicatessen of sophomoric anecdotes has hit the stands ... To whomever the censor is: your newspaper is truly a rag ... Who decided you were the establishment? ... [The Review] is not worth lining the bird cage with ... The Review is but a watered down conservatism - as impotent as it is insipid ... The Serpent's Tooth must be from a gardner .snakeorarubbertoysnake-as sharp asa moist noodle ... Revolted ... The Review's biggest problem is that it it is boring, dull, and vapid ... I was shocked and angered ... I am appalled and sickened .. .I will never again make the mistake of picking up this publication ... [The

Editor's note: Over the years, we have received quite afew letters. Some were positive, some were helpful, and some we were - how shall we 94y this - not as impressed as others with the Review, The following letters are compilations of the 17Ulny letters we have received in thepast 10 years. The last Ont, taken from our March 1984 issue, is our all-time frroorite letter, written by Proff!SS()r Bert Hcrrnback.

Review is Good •

1 can't express how delighted I am with your new venture ... You are truly a light shining in darkness... The UniversityofMichiganisluckytohaveyou...The Serpent's Tooth is snide, irresponsible, immutare, and vicious. Keep up the good work... I have only recently begun reading the Michigan Review and I am alreadyaddicted to it... Keep on publishing ... Kudos to your publication, its editors, and staff. It is very reassuring to see some common sense applied to issues... Keep up the hard work. It truly makes a difference ... I love the Review ... Keep it up ... I was delighted to read the orientation issue of the Michigan Review. I find it comforting to know that my daughter will be exposed to mainstream thinkers

~~A."~~

\l1I"l1~ , "

\II "

--.

thingelse~Y~urstupid-Iusetheword

Review] ... always makes me nauseated

... [theReview]isshockinglyoffensiveand carefully - Hln Review" page is hurtful ... Pleasedonotsendmeanything unpardonable, in a university or anyelse. My liberal, Democrat, UAW family where else. will vomit on your paper and send it How can a distinguished intellectual back to you, as will 1.. .If there's anything like Stephen Tonsor let his name be assoat this university slanted to one side, it's dated with such dumb and adolescent the journalism of the Review. twaddle? •• Don't take me off your mailinglistReVIeW IS Twaddle just quit publishing this thing. I am emDear Sirs: barrassed by your existence, as others Ordinarily, I'll read most anything. must be, too . Words fascinate me, and opinions Very Sincerely, anybody's opinions - and the possibilBert G. Hornback, ity of intelligent thought are my favorite Professor of English. foods, But the Michigan Review is some--------------------------

ReVlew · HIS · tory

:1.

Continued From Page 12

difference is that the paper now has a firm foundation and an established history from which to fight the voices of closed-mindedness. Steve Angelotti lives in East Lansing. He was an executive editor of the Review from 1985--88. He claims that Angelotti" translates as Nlittle angel," though few people believe him.

of conduct. With the emergence of the ''PC'' movement, the radical intolerance of alternative views once more oozed out of the sewers of nro-Marxist "thought". The battle that the current staff of the Review is waging against political intolerance is similar to the battle fought (and won) in the early days of the paper. The

-.'\1FW

MICM1A-;w\'IIW

\OOtKlo\!'>

'1,........... ....~. ...~~;i~

--~

I .. , ~"_ . ~ . ".~ ___ ...........".'~W " '_ ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''_'''' ''''''''''· '''''''''''."' '' ~_~''''' _

llIo-.....-~

~~~;~~i,

~~ ("~~.t

':"

"a=:J

':~1~ ftF·r; ~

,~,

M .i.;" I).,.,'C « I'>

\,~ j,: ~.,

.~ ..

:--2~

...

,"::'.'Y,.'

!!lit ;.~"" ...~.:«",; ; ,~;§; ':~ .~

"",...

~. _ _'''''''' _ __

~''''''''''''''-'<'''''''''''' :'' ''_~''''''''''~'''' '''''''''''''''-''' '~_~ '

___I . .

_~~~""~ _ _" ',..,._ _ _

_ _ _~"_~ ...... . , . , .. . . . . . . ._

. . . ._

11-

.. ..." . .'_ _. . . ._ _ _ _ _ _ _.;.:.

''I'

'""~"'.$~'''''"'>''''''':'

',.~ ,~~,.Z'tJE,MlGUlGAN,REV+EW:.c "

.he"

October 9, 199Y .

, >

'fr!

Tenth:Anniversary Issue

&~~

',.I•a,g'i "". ""S''. , ~" <

::: '\

'h;>'"

)"~,,;.,r

·~ 986~199 1

" ''';~'

'" >tin

The sb,anties occupied not only a primary location on theDia&t but also a very special place in hearts of aU University of Mkhigan'students. We were aU deeply sarld~ed by their sudden depai1ure this summer. Yep, it hurt a lot A wbole lot. We now offer this pbotop:aphlc retrospedive'u our humble tribute to tbose noble b~ of lumber. (pbotos by Brian Jeadryka). .

the

'~'t

,.',' """~,~,,

"""

.'~+m"_~».,~"""-<,.;,;;..,~,~,~~"~"",< •........mi_...-,y"~,,,,,,,,,,,,,,~, _ _ _,<,,,,_

_ ,,,,,_'~_'-"''''_'''''_''''_

..._____''''_''' ___", ___________

~'''''M~.~~~m._.'''~

'-""

October 9, 1991

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Deputized Officers

.; ~.

'" if"

Continued From Page 1 of carrying an illegal weaJX>n and presentlyhadanoutstandingchargeofarmed robbery. Two recent incidents, however, have worried some observers that the gloomand~oom, Kent State-inspired fears of last year's activists may not have been totally baseless. The first of the incidents that has brought campus security under fire arose when university JX>lice pursued a suspected criminal from the Central Campus Recreation Building to CRISP in Angell Hall, where they then drew their sidearms amidst numerous students to assist in effecting the arrest. The second was a similar incident that occurred on the Diag and involved both the Ann Arbor Police Department (AAPD) and University JX>lice. Critics fear that such seemingly hazardous conduct may not comply with the U-M's guidelines concerning the drawing and use of firearms. According to Baisden, the current policy mandates that firearms only be

Jt'~\'

drawn or used "in the defense of a citizen or the officer and as a last resort." "That is a pretty standard guideline for most JX>lice agencies. Remember, it is very easy for critics to sit back and say what the officers should have done when they were not there, and when they were not confronted with the situation," he added. Though Baisden declined to comment on whether the recent incidents were abridgements of the University's JX>licy until ongoing investigations have been concluded, he did offer something of a historical perspective. About four years ago, there was an attempted armed robbery at Stop-N-Go on East University," he recalled. A description ofthewouId~thief was broadcast, and he was soon sJX>tted by Baisden and other University security officers near the West Engineering arch. They followed the meandering suspect to the opJX>site end of the Diag near Mason Hall until the AAPD arrived and told the suspect to halt, at which ti~~:h~hesitated an made an odd gesturing motion. The officers

drew down on him.and he surrendered. "It turned out that he was carrying a gun," explained Baisden. "He was clearly deciding whether to run, fight, or surrender, and it is my opinion that had the officers not drawn their sidearms, the situation might not have been as easily resolved. He chose to surrender because they drew their weaJX>ns. The JX>int is, whenyoususpectthatasuspectisanned or dangerous, you have to take every precaution, as much for your own safety as for that of others. There is no science for handling situations like that - it is an art and it requires the officer's judgement." Baisden said that he was "extremely optimistic" about the deputized force's future, and that when people review the deputizationdedsion, he isconfidentthat it will be seen to have enhanced ~ efficaey of crime prevention and lawenforctment on campus. The Department plans to introduce _Community Oriented Policing this fall, _which amounts to the officers getting to know the members of the communities

they are assigned to protect, such as the residents of family housing on North Campus, as well as faculty staff, and, of course, students. There will also be several crime prevention programs that will seek to inform Ann Arbor's citizenry, especially students, faculty, and staff, about how to help reduce one's chance of being victimized. ''We want to encourage student involvement," explained Baisden, noting that most of the crimes on campus are "0pJX>rtunity crimes" and are readily preventable if only students and staff would be more mindful about locking their doors. ''We cannot do it alone. l just hope that the community is fair in its evaluation of our efforts to promotesarety on campus," he said. Adam DeVore is a junior in philosophy and Spanish and an executive editor of the Review. He wants to be deputized so he too can brandish a large, intimi~ dating firearm, for use exclusively against those who mistake him for a liberal.

House Bill Continued From Page 1 speech codes which prohibit or punish "insensitive" expression and sometimes mandate sensitivity workshops for students found guilty of inappropriate speech- that have taken the University Df Michigan, Michigan Technological University, EastemMichigan University, and other state campuses by storm. State Sen. Joseph Schwa* (R-Battle Creek) affirms that the bill is "in essence, an answer to the whole doctrine of being politically correct. The University of Michigan's original policy on discrimination and discrimatory conduct was found to be unconstitutional by a federal court, prompting the state legislature to take action. ,Rep. Dresch says ~e drafted the bill lI[becausel the universities are resJX>nding to JX>litical action with codes. Rep. MargaretO'Connor(R-Ann Arbor), one of the bill's (.'()-Sponsors, sees the bill as an effort to combat academic JX>litics, which she sees as a "muzzle on the people." In order to mainatain the bill's constitutionality and protect the autonomy of public universities, the bill is grounded on first amendment rights. "The bill first states that colleges may not infringe on rights of students and second, that students are required to be compensated by the university./I Dresch remains confident and optimistic" that the bill will be able to pass /I

the Michigan legislature. He bases much of his optimism on the sUpJX>rt that he has recei ved so far and on the very nature of the bill. He says that many legislators have been looking for an opJX>rtunity to confront the problem of speech codes. According to Dresch, the bill does not seem to be an issue that will be decided by representatives voting on party lines. Sen. Schwartz, hoewever, is skeptical that the bill will actually survive to the JX>int where the House will ever have a chance to look at it, or eventhat the bill will ever be released out of its own committeein the House. He says this is partIy because amendments are likely to be added onto the bill. Also, the committee may fail to schedule the bill for a hearing. The Michigan legislature has thus initiated its r"ponse to the, various schools around the state that.~k to con~ trol speech and thought .in the of social justice. But more imJX>rtantly,regardless of the bUl's success.or failure, it . still "acts as a good vehicleJor debate," according to Schwartz, for it will thrust the issue of free speech before our JX>liticos in Lansing.

Awesome Tie-Dyes

U-M T-Shirts

2 for $14.00

name

Jim Waldecker is a freshman in LSA and a staff writer for the Review.

........ -

...." -..

-···'_~

_ _ .... _ _ __

.rn _ _

.,.,•• _ •._

.... __ _ _

_ __

,,.._

~._M

_ ____ _ _

_ __ _

_ _ __ _

"I .J:,

II"'~ ._

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Arts: Book Review

October 9, 1991

• 'iliA'

Johnson ttacksEvolutionary Dogma Darwin on TrIIIl Phillip Johnson

Regnery Gateway Hardcover, $19.95 195 poI. by Hashim A. Rahman Open up any college or high school biology textbook and turn to the introductory chapter. Odds are you will find Charles Darwin's theory of evolution somewhere within, displayed with all the prominence of the Ten Command~ ments. To quote the text used in Biology 152 at the University of Michigan (Biology, by Nonnan Wessells and Janet Hopson), evolution is lithe foundation of modern biolOgical thought." The text continues by stating, "Most educated people accept the idea that today's creatures are descendents of yesterday's organisms." Phillip Johnson does not accept that last statement. His book, Darwin on TriRl, takes a very critical look at the theory of evolution, and more specifically neoDarwinism, which incorporates such modern advances as genetics. Interestingly, Johnson is not a scientist, but a professor of law at the University of Californiaat Berkeley. According to Johnson, who considers his specialty to be logical analysis, this background is more appropriate than one might think, because Nwhat people believe about evolution and Darwinism depends very heavily on the kind of logic they employ and the assumptions 'they make." Furthermore, he asserts that being a !lCientist when analyzing evolution is not necessarily an advantage, since the study of evolution encompasses many different scientific disciplines, as well as philosophy. Johnson begins the book with an introduction that describes the prevailing legal and politiccU atmospheresurrounding evolution, and relates how these issues were shaped in the early 20th century. Johnson examines thefcurous "monkey trial" of the 192Os, the Scopes ease, which was dramatized in the movie Inherit the Wind. This trial brought the debate over evolution to the forefront of America's ethical consciousness. Johnson characterizes the trial as having been a Hmedia circus" because of the high profile lawyers involved in the case: William Jennings Bryan and Clarence Darrow. Darrow succeeded in totally decimating the prosecution, but later conceded his client's guilt (Scopes was a high school science teacher accused of teaching evolution, which at the time was prohibited by Tennessee law). Johnson states that

Wolpoff takes issue with Johnson's criticism. According to Wolpoff, '10hnson's arguments apply to all areas of science," and therefore, if one applies Johnson's criteria to quantum physics, it is also a pseudoscience. Johnson ends the book on a sour note, talking of the sacred cow status that the theory of evolution has attained: "Prejudice is a major problem, however, because the leaders of science see themselves as locked in a desperate battle against anyone who believes in a Creator ... These fundamentalists are seen as a threa t to liberal freedom, and especially as a threat to public support for scientific research." Perhaps Johnson's grand scheme is ~ to show that both Creationism and Darwinism require a similar leap of fait~ both systems try to rationalize the existevidence itself from any religious or philo- the beginning of chapter four that "Darwin's most formidable opponents ence of man and, according to Johnson, sophical bi~.$tl\at might distort our in~r were not clergymen, but fossil experts," neither has any real supporting evidence. pretation of that evidence." Johnson continues with a discussion and continues by characterizing t h e a - . . . ~~him A. Rahman IS a. sophomore m of natural selection, which is one of the retical and observed discrepancies between Darwin's theory and the views of ,._.~1~ ogy and b;ty~uildmg and a staff primary tenets of Darwinism. In a nutpaleontologis.ts of his time. Here, J0hiiwnter for the ev,ew. shell, the theory of natural selection in its son criticizes Darwinism by delineating neoDarwinistic pennutation states that three inherent characteristics in the fossil mutations are randomly occurringgenetic alterations which may by chance evidence. The first characteristic of the fossil improve an organism's ability to survive record which he describes is one of stasis. and reproduce. Organisms that acquire a Serving Ai Since 1951 beneficial mutation will likely produce That is, the overwhelming majority of species that have existed on earth "exmore offspring than organisms within that species that do not have the benefi- hibit no directional change during their Use!::tstereocompon~l1ts tenure on earth," and that uthey appear cial mutation, until ultimately the trait ~rge ·seleqtion·· has spread throughouttheentire species. in the fossil record looking pretty much ~pe:akefrepalrs-totsof the same as when they disappear." SecJohnson attacks the theory on several . woofers and. tweders fronts, the most compelling of which is ond is "sudden appearance"-most fos. · Rebuildin g--Oltr~fa.ty his critique of the "micromutation". sil species appear all at once and fully Most neoDarwinists subscribe to the fonned. Finally, and most importantly, Phono ·Needle$, Tapes theory that everything evolved in very when examining fossil evidence paleonslow successive steps as a result of chance tologists presuppose that evolution is TV Service, Anten~ Repairs mutations. Johnson, however, brings up fact-when a fossil is discovered, modtnsuranceW<>rk the improbability of an extremely comern paleontologists immediately try to fit plex organ like the eye evolving via init into the evolutionary time line, and if it finitesimally small mutations. He ratiodoes not jibe they simply ignore the fos,Rentals &S~rvi~c of: nalizes the improbability this way: for an sil. lis Screen & Rqular TVs organism to be able to see at all, many Johnson continues by scrutinizing .Air «()JKfitiontr. intricate parts of the eye must be workthe fossil evidence as it relates specifiMini Rdrigerators . ing together; therefore, an incomplete cally to each major evolutionary phase: PASYftc., Audio-Vid'<l eye (one that would be useless to the fish to amphibians; amphibians to repEquipment animal possessing it) would provide no tiles; reptiles to birds and finally, apes to VCRs and Carncorders differential advantage in survival or rehumans. Here, Johnson's arguments production. That is to say, the initial step seem rather weak. His main point of in the evolution of the eye does not pro- criticism is again the presupposition that 215.•~•.. .• Ashley Streef'; vide an advantage to the animal unless evolution is fact. Presuppositions, howDowntoWn 112 t)lOck north¢f liberty other necessary parts appeared at the ever, are used in all areas of science acsame time; therefore, this quasi-eye cording to Wolpoff. For example, says Mastercard &Vlsa would not be passed on to successive Wolpoff, ''You make presuppositions 769-0341 generations. about gravity before you cross a bridge." Mon.-Sat . 10:00-6:30 p .m. Johnson makes an excellent analogy The book concludes with the phiCall tor other hours here to facilitate understanding: "imag- losophy and politics of Darwinism; the ine a.medieval alchemist producing by last chapter ultimately tries to define real PIck-4IP end dIIMry semce chance a silicon microchip; in the abscience and pseudoscience. Here again,

"from a legal standpoint the outcome was inconclusive, but as presented to the world by sarcastic journalist H.L. Mencken, and later by Broadway and Hollywood, the 'monkey trial' was a public relations triumph for Darwinism." Later in the chapter, Johnson explicitly states the purpose of his book, which is to objectively examine the evidence for Darwin's theory of evolution lion its own tenns, being careful to distinguish the

sence of supporting computer technology the prodigious invention would be useless and he would throw it away." According to Professor Milford Wolpoff of the U-M Anthropology Department, the eyeball is a "classic argument" used by Creationists. Wolpoff, however, thinks that Johnson "really presents these classic examples well." Johnson next shifts his focus to the fossil evidence. He surprisingly relates at

JlWhat people believe about evolution and Darwinism depends very heavily on the kind of logic they employ and the assumptions they make."

Hi-Fi Studi'o'

"'':'.::.,_>,~-...~:..:.:;>:~::;;;].;::::._''_»'''<.~ ",;"~,,";:JK~,._~_,,,_

October 9, 1991

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW.

Arts: Book Review

~~ ~ (~"w

Writers Condemn Bureaucrac in Glasnost Glasnost: An Anthology of Russian Literature under Gorbachev Helena Goscllo and

ety into its vision of utopia. The next story, "Old Hasan's Pipe," explores the lives and culture of Abhazian Bryron Lindsey, editors. herdsmen. The author of this piece deArdus Publishing, Ann Arbor picts a milieu dominated by bold,selfSoftcover, $15.95 reliant characters whose traditional ways of life have only the most tenuous of by Adam Garaglola connections to Moscow's bureaucrats and The capitalist practice of paying auregulations. The tall tale Old Hasan tells thors in the form of royalties seems to be is replete with sympathy andevenadmicatching on big in the Soviet Union-at ration for the outlaw least one would hope that a good of that is its main charportion of the $15.95 price tag is going to acter. In its upholdthe authors of the various stories and ing of the virtues of novelle included in this work. The money freedom and inde· might help them buy those little fur hats pendence, the story for this winter, but more significantly, makes an eloquent the fiction presented in this book makes statement of defiance a worthwhile addition to any reader's against the library of contemporary literature. authoritarianism of In their preface, the editors write that an imposed government. .'-" ; ' Soviet literature in recent years has been suffering from "large doses of journal"Captain ism and unmediated historical recuperaDikshtein," oneofthe' tion." With this in mind they have strove longer novelle included in the antholto make selections on the basis of their literary merit, seeking to avoid works ogy, is a work which "bulging with semi-digested historical, is both wide in scope naked ideological argumentation, and and sharply focused. all the devices of political expose." Even An account of the last so, each of the stories are topical in their day in the life of Igor own way, whether it be in painting an Ivanovich Dikshtein, it looks at the hisindividual's story against sweeping backtory which literally created this characdrop of national history, or exploring the ters uniquely confused identity. Through little known outlying regions of the crumthe use of a parallel past-tense narrative, bling Soviet Disunion. recounting the Kronstadt mutiny of 1921, In each of these stories the authors the reader slowly learns how the lead address issues that Stand at the forefront character became who he now is, after of Soviet sodety as it sheds the crumassuming the identity of a "mutinous" bling institutions and faulty ideals of gunnery sergeant, executed after the communism. "Our Crowd," the first failed rebellion. The piece offers a strikwork of the anthology, depicts the intering example, on an individual level, of woven lives of a circle of marginalized the large-scale revision of national hiscity dwellers, people whose opportunitory necessitated by the violently opties have been cut short by the state's posed seizure of power by the Bolshedisapproval of their political orthodoxy, viks. While the narrative is slow-going, behavior, or class origin. Their world, as and at times somewhat difficult to decidescribed in a first person narrative by pher, the end result is well worth the one of the group's memhers,ischaractereffort. ized by a despairing timelessness, in so The next story, "Night," is notable far as nothing ever progresses; individufor both its subject matter and stylistic als occasionally drift into or out of the innovation. In a society where the very long-standing social circle, but they come existence of mental illness has until reand go without any real sense of direccently been denied, this short story is tion or purpose. As the group plays cards, concerned with the life of Alexei exchanges innuendos and drinks vodka, Petrovich, a retarded adult who lives with his mother. The narrative presents the narrator slowly comes to a decision about what she must do to assure her son the world from Alexei's point of view: a a future in their desperate world. She '1abyrinth of the incomprehensible," a calls herself clever, but the extremity of hostile place delineated by other people's her solution evokes a terrible feeling of rules. Even the most minor of interacdespair, and emphasizes, on an inditions with this world are a cause of anxividual level, the totality of the failure of ety for Alexei, and so, in self defense, he createsanintemalized reality, from which the Soviet ~yst~~ ,to transfoun !l)e sod- . .. . • •. n '" , ~

' .

-----,~ ---.-.--~,-.-'''''.,

f ~, "" , J> . .. ..., . . . . . . . ., • ••• .,. _~·.... .... .. 11~

•• " ·

--. - -,..-._--"--,,_._--_.,- --,-,---,

...... ''''., .•'''''- •.,,-...

ences of a terrified little girl lost in the forest surrounding the farm, and the collectiVE>' s half-hearted efforts to search for her. Her disappearanCt' '$ ')(:Yen by the V! U':'gers dS ju:,t another C(l";\jJll(ation in ' ;'.( ,ic'f:, :Ilt task of runninf: .dt~)w here · ."H.~ of the mdchines opera te, hardly anyonE h'orks, and alcohOti·;.:11 is ramP'lfIt. :, \' nile the outcome 01: the story is k n:>.i.·::'<'l ble. this in no way attenuates the tra ;:eGY oi the little girl's fate, '; ~~(' Farakeet" is perhaps the strangest sf, ( . ,;1 the book. The story takes the (om wf an extended monologue in which tne w:'nplio.ted dtthe speaker describes, in excruciating fairs of Gleb detail, the interrogation, torture, and Boriso'i kh, a man e ventual death of the son of the man to whom the narrative is addressed. The heavily involved in the "semi·-icgal busimanner of the executioner's narrative is ness w e id V " \;1.0 Sremi nis(,ent of the Jud~Pardoner's tale u ; 1'1." l. ' lr) .t~' .. ' ': in Albert Camus' The},,!; ,t"Jt his story is deveh , !,:" ,j i ; i ,,,,nor muchmoregripping,fc~ here the author's mono log ue, the aunarrative evokes only the deepest revulthor attunes the sion for his sadistic an t.;! ,;onist. reader to all of Gieb's The anthology comes to a close with frustranop. apprehen"j.ruta Petrovna," a melancholy story of sian, and indecision. -~ .-' a reclusive old woman's last days of life The d ifficulties of in Moscow. With a self-(:entered, uncar'nB \':l(;<;' i~',) sodinggranddaughterleft ashereonlyrelaetj ,vhen : Y;;: , ('vernnve, Anna looks for",ard to her imrniment rewar d s pernentdeath, with only her memories and sonal initiative with prison sentences, the view from her window to keep her are brought to the fore by his anxious company. It is a sorrowful story of a pondering of the state of his business person swept aside by the progression of enterprise. A thought-provoking story time and forgotten. As the story unfolds, that ends with a surprising and unexthe reader detects a glimmer of hope in pected twist which totally shatters Gleb' s this characters fading life, in the form of notionsof personal and familial stability. a caring historian who wants to record A Kafkaesque highlight of the collecher vast story of memories and experition, "Dream from the Top Berth," turns ences for the benefit of history. But for all a simple train ride into a nightmare of of her dreams of the past and spontanefreezing sleeping cars, indifferent conous recollection, however, Anna can ductors, and multiple arrests and denunnever be of help to the well-meaning ciations. Satirically humorous, the story historian, and dies forgotten by her famturns the protagonist's efforts to get the ily, and except for the historian, friendheat turned on, use the bathroom, get less. Mindful of his country's own loss of something to eat, etc., into a struggle of its history, the author shrouds this story epic proportions. In this clever parody of in an atmosphere of tragedy that sufthe ponderous operations of bureaucracy, fuses the narrative. Ultimately, the reader the reign of chaos comes to end onl y with comes to realize the true significance of the appearance of the "inspector of inthis insignificant old woman's death. spectorsofinspectors," an episode which These stories, with their wide range serves as a fitting climax to an incompreof themes, styles, and subject matter are hensibly angst-ridden ride. all related in their efforts to address the The inertia created by the overlyproblems thatconcem the various Soviet peoples as they attempt to recover true structured, hierarchical ordering of sodety is a concept encountered in many of knowledge of their national history-as the works in this anthology, and is the well as determine their future. central theme of "Rough Weather." Told in a very straightforward, conventional Adam Garagiola is a junior in comparanarrative style, the piece deals with the tive literature and creative writing, and stagnancy of life on a Bashkir collective is the literary editor for the Review. farm. Using alternating episodic segments, the story describes the experi• of ~ .' ,: .:, , -:.~ t " " J :.. '; .\ ... ; i "

he rarely emerges. The author's richly descriptive and evocative rendering of Alexei's thoughts and fears highlights the tension created by his deficient un derstanding of the world, After i:' "c .:' matic foray mto the O\HS1(1e, Alex\:~ :}(,. gins to grasp what he b-E' lieves is th(: \ ,1) ' purpose of the n.t k::; others have im F>( ,~,._'d upon him, and the full Significance Oi :;" title becomes dear to the reader, Other stories a iso deal with issues that were fomleriy tabc·. "111e Visit," look::. ;It

{

"'- ,_

...._-------

01..

THE MICHIGANREVIE*

Sports: !Essay

October 9, 1991

\. >1:;>""'"

The U-M's Wide World of Sports by David Rothban and Aaron Hurst There is one subject that Wolverine

devotees will never tire of talking, however: which Michigan sport is most exciting. During the day, sociology PhD candidate Bobby Clark may discuss longwinded, well-reasoned arguments, but at night, when it comes to sports, "football is the best." Bobby is just one of a powerful faction lobbying for football supremacy. Over a 100,000 people pack into Michigan Stadium every football Saturday. Games can't help but be exciting, especially with atop-ranked team,a passing offense more destructive than crowbar-wielding shanty wreckers, and a defense that rivals the SDI. While the football field is distant and it is sometimes difficult to tell what is going on, the excitement moves through the crowd quickly. On a big play, fans in the front row stand and like a domino setup worthy of a Guiness World record, people begin standing, row by row until it reaches the top. Students opinions on this issue are often stronger than Ben Johnson's steroid-enhan.ced thighs. "Crowds are so lame at besketballgames," says Bob Mull, an LSA sophomore. "They must sit on their hands to stay so quiet." His face brightens as he recalls Michigan's victoryoverNotre Dame. "Peoplewerespilling out of the stadium. Everyone was yelling and lK'reaming..." Indeed, Michigan Stadium on a football Saturdayresemblesa fraternity rouse during Rush week. The crowd is gargantuan - the biggest of any college or professional sports event. Claustrophobics and Ohio State fans are the only ones who wouldn't enjoy the cheering throng of 100,(0) people after a Michigan touchdown and the obligatory marshmallow and toilet paper shower that follows. Not only are the crowds monstrous, Michigan football teams are so good that they are ~tly exciting. Michigan has won atleasta share of the Big Ten title three times in the last five years and has finished the season ranked in the top ten 18 times in the last 22 years. Their home record overu.t time was 120-17-3, an .868 winning percentage. Will Thompson, a business school senior, disagrees with the pigskin backers. "Football is for the average Joe," the business school senior theorizes. HIt doesn't compare to the excitement of basketball." Part of thi~ , excitement IS basketball's , ,

unpredictability, according to roundball devotees. "You just never know who's going to win a basketball game," says Vince Croumety, a graduate student studying biology. The security guard's trained eyes move across the empty escalators of the South University Galleria as he searches for the exact words. ''Three point specialists are popping up everywhere. You are never out of a game. Twelve points back? Hit a couple of three pointers and the lead is cut to six!" Did anyone expect Michigan to win the NCAA basketball championship in 1989? Who could have foreseen UNLV's stunning loss to Duke last spring? The . f<

excited fans, violence and blood, sensational plays, last second comebacks and neat-looking helmets. Watching a hockey game is like watching a horror movie. Loose limbs litter the set, and the referees circle the rink like directors, waiting to yell "cut!" In what other sport can a player be penalized for slashing, highsticking and fighting? Basketball fouls are pansy infractions like traveling, or double dribbles. Hockey is like a combination of football and figure skating. Players are constantly going at it, checking, pushing and slashing. The arena vibrates as two 2SO pound defensemen collide at the boards. Blood drips to the ice and the crowd goes

slower than a Supreme Court confirmation, Erik has a response ready. "The wait between every pitch is the best part of it. It builds the tension. With the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth, it's constant excitement." The pitch only constitutes a halfsecond but all that resin bag caressing and cleaning mud out of their spikes builds up to a climax. Hitchcock movies were slow at the beginning but, like styrofoam cups, it's a necessary evil. If you had a hundred bottom of the ninths in a row, it would be worthless. Others whine that Michigan baseball teams aren't competitive enough. Michigan has had some great players. Former Wolverines Jim Abbott, Barry Larkin, Chris Sabo and Hal Morris are all stars in the major leagues. ''What about sailingf' says Jessica Dazdernik, ~ twinkle in her eye. ''lt's a contact sport, tremendous fun, it's really technical and really Simple." ~,"" Her Michigan Sailing Team jacket < gives it away- she's a member of the wild. Ten seconds later the two are speedteam. Jessica, a fifth year senior in art ing down the ice like ballerinas on stehistory and theater continues, "college roids. sailing is the most exciting sport out Like lion fighting at the Coliseum in there." Ancient Rome, the coach must always For participants, this is understandable. But for fans? toss out new meat. "There are so many line changes in hockey, you have fresh ''lt's pretty boring to watch," she guys out there all the time," explains says. Scott. "The players don't get so exhausted, Does a sport exist with the power of so the quick pace continues throughout football, the pace of hockey (without the the entire game." fights), the confrontations of baseball, If the violence is what makes hockey the high scoring of basketball and the so exciting, why not just watch drive-by grace of sailing? shootings? "Of course," says John Paul, a senior "Drive-by-shootingshave their own history major. "Lacrosse." merits," Erik Marin, a senior communiLacrosse? cations major agrees. ''But they don't "Lacrosse. Hockey originated from have the one-{)n-one confrontations like lacrosse, you know." baseball does." l.Ju:rosse? '1n baseball, it all hinges on one "Sure," John explains. ''lt's higher pitch," says Erik. lilt's the classic conscoring and faster paced than hockey. frontation between pitcher and batter." There's no fighting, and it's got the oneErik sides with Michigan baseball on-oneconfrontationbetween the keeper fans when asked which sport is most and the forward." exciting. Most baseball advocates preach Certainly, students have strong opinfactors other than excitement. They menions on which Michigan sport is most tion the low ticket prices (under $3.00) exciting. Just weeks ago, a riot broke out and the cozy Fisher Stadium which is when the hockey hypesters and the footusually sprinkled with a few hundred ball faction got in an argument. It took fans, which means no long lines at the police armed with tear gas to dissolve the restrooms and the concession stands. tension. The police, of course, favored Most baseball adversaries complain Lacrosse. that baseball is just above chess in the boring ratings. "Baseball is fun to play, David Rothbart and Aaron Hurst are but terrible to watch. They have one pitch part-time students at the University every five minutes," says freshman Dave of Michigan, full-time sports fans and Knapp. staff writers for the Review. , While it's true that baseball can be

Games can't help but be exciting, especiallywith a top-xanked team whose offense is more destuctive than crowbarwielding shanty-wreckers. ,

odds against Eastern Michigan reaching the NCAA tournament's Sweet Sixteen were astronomical. HOthersports are boring because you know who(s going to win," states fresh~ man Larry Atkins. "Who cares if Michi~ gan has the best football team? I don't want to see a 49-3 rout of Northwestern." Some may argue that the 45-second shot clock slows down college basketball. Vince begs to differ: "Most teams fire it off right away. College basketball is mostly run and gun." He admits that "there are a few control teams, but the score stays close and the games stay exciting." So basketballis the number one sport becauseofits unpredictability? "Rocket" Ismail'stwokickoff returns against Michigan Were predictable? Was it obvious that Stanford would defeat Notre Dame last fall? Could anyone have picked Central MiChigan over Michigan State? "Well," Vince concludes, lithe seats are ffiOI'e.comfortable." While Crisler Arena has often been accti$ed of having less noise than the graduate librcuy, this is not a problem in

hockey. "The. crowd isn't as big as it is at footbal1~, but all crammed into Yost

Ice Arena, they are certainly louder," says Scott Sebastian, an economics senior. "Hockey, by definition, is exciting," explains Chuck McDonald, a junior majoring in material science engineering. "Wke football, .hockey: has loud and ,"'""

t·

r<,~\\,~,,;,,~~,~,-;:_~<,:,::::;,)~,,

. .~

>'_«>~>"_dtG,,",",

~,'"

"',

,>\'

........_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _iiiiiliiiiiii_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _•

~'=~~~:~":-=;;;~';:_=="'_=_""::::_="'_===_;;;_=;;;;;;;;;;';;;;;;;;;;:;:;:;:;";;;;;;;;;;;====;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I !

THE M)CHIGANRBVIBW .

October 9, 1991

Arts: Music Review

1<-")\t '/>'

SoundingBiggerand~ Badder Soundgarden Bsdmotorltnger A&M Records

half of the song comes to a satisfying

by John J. Miller Soundgarden has been Seattle's premier musical export for the last couple of years, heading up a list of grunge-rockers like Mudhoney, Screaming Trees, and Tad. Not since Jimi Hendrix has the area produced a more important influence. Should Soundgarden realize its potential, the rest of America will soon be asking '1imi who?" Badmotorfinger is the band's second major-label release and it marks a definite improvement over its predecessor, Louder Than Love. Whereas the 1989 album included a few gems, it was ultimately an uneven effort. The quartet needed to demonstrate consistency, and it has turned in a fine hour-long performance. The album opens with a piece of simple, clean fretwork, leading into the quickly-paced "Rusty Cage." The latter

Soundgarden is leading the revolt against cheese-metal bands like POison, Warrant, and Kik Tracee. Badmotorfinger contains Soundgarden' s best material yet, and will only serve to tighten Seattle's Stranglehold on vital metal music.

close by changing tempo and moving into the slower, more ~aditional crunching music of Soundgarden. Guitars cut deep, rough grooves and a relentless rhythm section hammers a furious beat on "Jesus Christ Pose," the album's best track. Frontman Chris Cornell screams and guitars flail, but the song never moves away from its disciplined, driving core. The song arrangements are typically less conscious of themselves than on previous efforts. Soundgarden aims simply to make good, tough music, instead of trying to overextend itself and tum ordinary riffs into epic overtures climaxing in one of Cornell's vocal frenzies. This newfound confidence can be heard on "Drawing Hies," a so~ pf heavy metal boogie that experiments with a hom section. At the start of "Searching with My Good Eye Closed," the'band has some fun with animal noises and a patronizing narrator,all with sarcastic undertones, of course.

John J. Miller is a senior in English and editor-at -large of the Review.

$ Loans $ No credit needed! For last approval on personal or business loans, call for a free .consultation with a loan officer ~oday,

1-800-992-8450

ampus Tradition Voted :#1 by readers of the:

Michigan Daily Ann Arbor News Eastern ECJ10 Ann Arbor Metro Times.

r---------------------------@tt<\~'nn

Fre e

•

Debvery! : .

.' I Free delIvery In I . 40 mInutes or I I

Smce 194;

' "

. ~ ~ . . '< _ _

~,,~~. ,, _

Validonlyat

U/MCentralCampus 546 Packard 665-6005

$5.95

(+lax):

Offer Expires October 31. 1991 Not valid with other ooupon ottere

Not~ptedat

, _. , ..._ . . . .

,<_ •. "«

H_ ~ """"

.. _ _

_...,... _ ~ _~"""_"" .

__ " ·· _ .... _

_ _

'"""w,, _

.._~ ·"" _ ·,·_ · _ ,·"· _ ~ _ _

'_ __ _. _...

",~

I I I I

..1

_ _ • ••_

Only:

.... " , . , . , •• ' . " " -

...

:,...

Medium deep dish or round pizza I with cheese & one topping

U11ZZd®

less guaranteed,. or $3 .00 .. ff . "

Last Thursday night the State Theater (Oubland) hosted the best bill to pass through our area since Perry Farrell offered us his Lollapolloza festival last August. Anthrax,PublicEnemy,Prlmus, and the Young Buck Teenagers each took the stage in front of a sold-out crowd made up of mostly redneck dirt-asses and those "Seriously, I am alternative" 89X hipsters, P.E. and Anthrax were the co-headliners, with the former going on stage first. The infamous S1 Ws, in their Schwartzkopf-meets-James Brown style, did a short routine during the intro of "Lost at Birth" before Chuck D, Havor H~v, and Terminator X ripped through versions of early classics like "Don't Believe the Hype" and "911 is A Joke," as well as new tracks ''Shut Em Down," "1 Million Bottlebags," and "Can't Truss It." Anthrax's song list drew heavily from last year's Persistence of Time album and induq~" A.I.R.," a good old mid~ight .jes- t'firash metal tune, as well as the rap "I'm the Man," Public Enemy and Anthrax shared the stage on the evening's finale "Bring the Noise," an old P,E. tune recently re-recorded with live drums, crunchy guitars, and raps from Anthrax guitarist/hiphop nut Scott Ian ... If you are at all into the late-sixties poppy sound and dippy-as-helllyrics of bands like the B-S2s, the new releases from Trip Shakespeare and the Strawberry Zots might float your boat. Trip ShakeSpeare are from Minneapolis and recorded at Prince's Paisley Park Studios, while the Zots hail from New Mexico and are on Continuum records. .. If you missed the ErlcJohnson show at the Michigan Theatre last week there is no need to fret. He will be opening for Rush at the Palace on November 13... The Smithereens will play Hill Auditorium on October 31. This Thursday School of Fish and House of Freaks will perform at the Industry in Pontiac. I

U of M North Campus MAY BE Willism St restaurant 927 Maiden Lane USED FOR orTheCot1agelnn . . Cafe. Valid at pat1ICI. r I 995-9101 MORE THAN paling elOnle only . I ....._ _ _ _0 __ . _.....I..FAX ____________________________ 995.9109 . " ONE PlZZA . , - . WmtteddeliYWyarea.' . ,

Crusty's Corner

. " ¥thrax r04~~ ~~ Mqtor City last weekend. Crusty had loads of fun. ~PI1!4

__ ...."""___ ______

_ _ _~.~n~

~_~

;. . ::I:--·~~··

--- ,------~

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW.

October 9, 1991

"q. '" ii;1'i"'~

Arts: Music Review

Urban Dance Squad Jams

P. E. Brings New Noise by Bud Muncher

Against an eerie synth, a deep, warped voice warns: "the future holds support of the record and opened for UDS toured Europe and the States in "We started ou t as a metal-rap band. nothing but confrontation." IivingColour on a leg of the Time's Up Noise-rap was what people in Holland "Comel?ack." The song fea.tures some And with those words of prophtour which brought them to Ann Arbor's called it," said Urban Dance Squad gui- impressive D.J.ing from DNA while it ecy Public Enemy grinds into ApocaHilf Auditorium earlier in the year. tarist Tres Manos. "At the beginning that settles into a very catchy guitar riff. Guilypse '91: The Enemy Strikes Black, the One week after the Living Colour was a very adequate description of what tar-wise, "Comeback," "Mr. Ezway," and fourth album from America's most tour the band returned to the studio to we were doing. Instead of melody, we "Harvey Quint" all have an element of influential hip-hop artists. Apocalypse record what would become Ufe in Perhad rap." Two UDS records have proven predictability that meshes perfectly with leaves you knowing that "hardcore spectives of A Genuine Crossover with no that there is quite a bit more to their DNA's cutting and Magic Stick'~beats. will never die." It is furious and fonew songs. "All we had were cassettes sound than just metal and rap. Elements Tres Manos displays his fondnesS for the cused, aggressive and intelligent. of old rhythm and blues, the guitar rock guitar music of Spain and the Hawaiian with fragments of jams and themes," exThe legendary Bomb Squad proof the seventies, and ethnic folk are fused and Caribbean Islands on "For the Plasplained Tres. ''We showed up at the studuction tank, along with 'Track Atdiowith 30 themes and left with 17songs./I into a Hendrix-meets-Public Enemy blitz ters" and u(Thru) The Gates of the Big tacker' Terminator X, have proof bluesy based axemanship and urban Fruit," a tune with a swampy groove and Perspectives begins with a jam titled grammed a new collection of fierce that the song deserves. As a rapper, beats. a neat shuffle beat. music, sampling beats, horns, guitar though, Rudeboy is better than most of On the new album, Rudeboy's rapFour years back, a group of musianything, and molding it riffs, voices, cians not very familiar with one another ping style is still as potent as ever, sound- . his American competition. into booming, hypnotic noise. The Urban Dance Squad begin their U.s. came together to jam at a local festival in ing something like Rakim or LL Cool Jon j Bomb Squad have again employed tour in late October and they are exHolland. Ttes Manos had played in a few helium. His raps always fit snuggly in that very same cacophonous formula pected in the Detroit area soon. blues-rock bands in the area and had the groove of.,.the song, but on a few heard throughout the entire P.E. cataeven toured with bluesman Rufus Th0- tracks his v()ire sounds a little too lowin Crusty Muncher drives a riding log. , mas. A drummer nicknamed Magic Stick, the mix. He does some actual singing on ."" lawnmower on the Diag every WednesTerminator Xis at his best on songs was in a very good and very popular a bell bottom-era arena rock tune called like "Lost at Birth," one long looped day. He says squirrels are worth five Dutch industrial band. Bassist Sil~y Sil "Routine." The song, with an embellishpoints, women's studies professors rep, _ . .-, .. ~ sonic descent into hell, and the first was playing funk bass in a band and a ing organ line, has the vibe of an old Joe Inreflex students fifteen. /' single, "Can't Truss It," which stomps and club D.]. by the name of DNA was mix- Cocker or Aerosmith mellow number ing and scratching in Amsterdam's dis- but the vocal track doesn't do it much ut a killer beat accompanied by a cos. Rapper Patrick Remington justice. Rudebov's voice lacks the soul 'nd-altering hom sample. (Rudeboy) was keeping himself busy Flavor Flav, 'The Juice', has doing a hip-hop thing with his crew. /branched out artistically-he's now ''We jammed together only once before singing. He croons in his peculiar we went on stage," explains Tres. "and /n'e rvous Motown soul style in the show was big fun. We bluffed and the "Nighttrain" and "I Don't Wanna Be people thought we were playing a heavy \Called Yo Niga." And the Flav is the repertoire." ·, ionly comic pause from the near-reA week litter the guys were asked to lentless onslaught of lyrical and mudo a 15 minute set on a Dutch radio sical terror. station, VPRO. Listeners loved what they 'Hard Rhymer' Chuck D. is back heard and club owners began requesting and convincingly reaffirms his title of gigs. After each performance the musi'Lyrical Terrorist' on Apocalypse. He cians disbanded and returned to their drops his fury not only against the other projects; Urban Dance Squad was white establishment but also against not yet a 'band' in the true sense of the the 'sell-outs' of black society. And, word. This went on for roughly two years of course, Chuck's voice has a quality before the group finally crystalized. of rage that both complements and Mental Floss For The Globe was the supplements the intense P.E. wall-otitle of the band's debut on Arista. It funk. UPTO contains 13 ofthe 21 tracks that the band d Muncher was recently dissed recorded in Belgium during the summer an Inteflex student because, she of 1989. The record was a much needed OFF OF aid, he has lithe emotional maturity breath of fresh air in a hip-hop scene APPROXIMATE f a 13-year old." $1,000 VALUE getting monotonous with predictable beats and predictable samples. The fuFOR ONLY sion of urban-guitar hardcore and 00 hardcore hip-hop had yet to be done so PETITION CIRCULATORS well. Sure, the Beastie Boys did a power PER PERSON chord hit called "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" and Run-D.M.C. put a heavy guitar in a few tunes but that was in more of a 'hard REPRESENTATIVES ARE STANDINGBYI rock' spirit. Mental Floss had an urbanMonday-Friday, 9 a.m.-lO p.m. EST punk edge II 1a Washington, D.C's Bad Brains. And there was also the acoustic MUST CALL NOW - 305-653-9246 Call 509-0952 R&B sounds on songs like "No Kid" and Cenain Void where prohibited by law. Limited number of cruise available. the MlV hit Deeper Shade of Soul."

by Crusty ~ncher

6DAY,5NITE HOTEL &

BAHAMA CRUISE VACATION PACKAGES

SAVE

700/0

-------.

- --~

$165

Earn Big Money!!

•

< "' _ ""

' ~"_~

•••• '.'.

"._.",~_.,

...~,.". " " .. . <o, .... ",,,,,. - . -

••

' '''',~._'_"""

, _ . . . . . . , _....,,,, ~,

.",'_.....,,'~"_

... _ . . . . . _ _ _

" _ _ ~,. _ __

... ~.... !'_

_ _ _ _ _. . . ._ _ __

. . . ._ _ _. . . ._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. . . ._ _ _ _•

_ _ _ _ _. . . .