vol_11_no_21 by Michigan Review

THE MICHIGAN;REVIEW . Volume 11, Number 21

March 10, 1993

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan

Conservatives Battle Incumbents ProgreSSives TRAcy RoBINSON

ment. If it can't handle the problems on this campus, it has no right addressing ONSERVATIVE COALITION national issues," said Toger, a junior in (CC) recently announced history and political science. "Students Brenton House and Michelle see MSA more as a political joke than Toger as its candidates for Michigan as a political player." Student Assembly ,,...... ---.,.----.,.--...,.......~...,A "MSA needs a lot (MSA) president and of help," added House. vice president, respec"They don't have stutively. dent backing at all House, a junior in right now because they aerospace engineerdon't concern them~: '..,.", ,...$/' f ing, says CC will focus selves with student inon student concerns terests." such as problems with House believes he North Campus busis qualified for the p0sing and the immjnent sition because of his closing of 44 classprevious experience as ~, rooms in East Engian MSA Engineering CC presidential candidate neering, rather than representative and as BrwonHouse passing resolutions a previous vice-cllair of the BPC, MSA's committee for alloregarding off-<:ampus issues. "MSA is U- M's student governcating funds to student groups - for

one year. 'Ibger also has experience with MSA serving on the Central Student Judiciary and MSA's Election Court. House praises Toger's "working knowledge" of the organization, and said she brings to CC's ticket a view of MSA different than that of just a representative. Both House and Toger agree that voter turnout in MSA elections has been abysmally low in the past, and they have some ideas on how to change this trend. Toger remarked,''We should advertise the election more, but voter turnout won't increase until the respectability of MSA increases, and that will take a new administration." House believes voter turnout will increase if the parties increase personal contact with their prospective constituehts. "Students aren't finding ...,~ """",*,""

See CONSERVATIVE COALITION,

page 8

New Party Challenges Partisanship BY JAMES RoBERTS

ONVINCED OF ITS INherent ineffectiveness, there are many who look upon the Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) with a great deal of apathy and, in some instances, contempt There are also those who view MSA in a more optimistic light, believing that the Assembly can serve as a valuable resource to students. It is the latter category that best deacribes the Michigan Party. Founded this term to slate candidates for the MSA elections March 17 and 18, the Michigan Party, it intends to challenge directly the atmosphere of ineptness that surrounds MSA Despite its lack of experience in dealing with campus politics, the Michigan Party stands eager and ready to tackle the various issues that currently face the student body. The party is

Sclentittcally Speaking

What is the Human Genome Project? How will it affect you?

running an impressive field of sevenAs the Michigan Party platform teen candidates this semester, headed states, such arguments "hamper coopby presidential candidate Craig eration, effective representation, and Greenberg and vice Assembly productivpresidential hopeful ity." Citing the recent Brian Kight. debate concerning The primary objecfunding for student tive of the Michigan organizations that Party is to restore MSA plan to travel to Coloto its proper role - that rado (which is curof serving the students. " rently under boycott Greenberg believes by gay groups) as one that MSA is currently â&#x20AC;˘ specific example , "headed in the wrong Greenberg states direction," as the two these political disexisting parties seem ~. . . agreements unnecesMichtgan presidential candidate sarily divert MSA's to be more interested Craig Greenberg attention away from in pursuing their, own agendas than that of the students. more important student concerns. Greenberg cites the amount of "ideoTo alleviate this problem, the Mjchilogical bickering" that seems to plague gan Party has embraced a non-ideoeach meeting as support for this asserSee MICHIGAN PARTY, Page 8 tion.

From Suite One

What students should know before they vote on MGG funding next week.

John McLaughlin? Wrong!

Right-winger-at-large Jay D. McNeill interviews the New Republic's Fred

Barnes. .' -

- - - -

Go For Two in a Row

BY MATT WILK

NE OF THE THREE MAJOR parties slating candidates for the Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) elections is the Progressive Party (PP). Members of PP currently hold a majority of seats in the MSA general body, including the presidency and vice-presidency, which are occupied by Ede Fox and Hunter Van Valkenburg, respectively. Jason ' Hackner, currently president of the University Activities Cen,ter (UAC), is running for president with PP; Erika Gottfried, an LSA Junior and currently an MSA representative, is PP's vicepresidential candidate.

As of press time, Hackner and Gottfried were unavailable for interviews to discuss their party's platform. It is likely, however, that PP will con. tinue to stress the same issues as they did in the last election, including the goal of prompting the revocation of both the Statement of Student Rights and Responsibilities and the Diag Use Policy, both institiuted by the U- M administration in the last year. It is also likely that issues regarding special interests and minority representation will also be near the top of PP's agenda, as has been the case in the past. What is not known, however, is whether PP candidates will inlude issues from beyond campus in their platform. In the past, PP candidates have highlighted numerous off-ounpus issues. PP's opponents have consistently argued that these issues are entirely unrelated to campus life. One such issue involved a successful call for a boySee PROGRESSIVE PARTY, Page 8

elcome to the new Review!

Regular readers will notice that the Review has undergone a much-needed face-lift. Inside you'll still find all of our regular features, but in a new format. Open it up and take a look. Then send us a letter and let us know what you think. Read and enjoy!

. Special thanks to Paul Serrano for his assistance.

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March 10, 1993

THE MICI-nGAN REVIEW

" IIL ~lICHIG . \\ I\E\·IE\\·

o SERPENT'S TOOTH Afrer reading a Detroit News article on Jeffrey Masson - fiance to Catharine MacKinnon - and finding almost too many Serpents to count, we ran across this line: "The couple plans to spend next year in Berlin." We are the establishment. Just think. Bill Clinton is one heartbeat away from the presidency. It seems that the U-M is not the only university hot spot for ridiculous charges of sexual harassment. Add the University of Minneaota-Duluth to the list. Apparently a female professor filed charges against a visiting British professor for his frequent use of the word "bloody. " Yea, ahe thought he was referring to her menstrual cycle.

In a decision tD extend $5.7 billion worth of unemployment benefits, Bill Clinton said, "In the end, what we have to do is extend jobs and not unemployment." Clinton's statement was made in a

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Roosevelt Room ceremony. Has anyone noticed the irony of Senator Bob Packwood's last name? Speaking of names, we suggest that the people of Waco, Texas add a Uk" to theirs. In a letter to the American Philosophical Association Newsletter, California Polytechnic Women's Studies professor Mary Crane wrote, "I want all the bearded ladies in the world to come out, celebrate ourselves and one another. If you have a beard and you are female, I want to challenge you to think about why you keep it shaved. Ifit's fear of the loss of a job, let's get an ACLU lawyer to defend us. After all, we have a right! But again, it is much more than a right ... It is a need to celebrate the beauty that is naturally ours in our beards." Although we were overjoyed with the mens' basketball team's heart-atopping

o ROVING PHOTOGRAPHER

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan 'We are the Establishment"

overtime conquest (' <' arch-rival Michigan State on Sunday, we were disappointed and embarrassed over our team's performance. It had nothing to do with free throws or rebounding, but rather with sportsmanship - specifically Chris Webber and Ray Jackson's decision to hop up on the scorer's table and wave their arms frantically in celebration at the end of the game. While we can understand the thrill of victory and youthful frivolity , Webber and Jackson's behavior was simply unacceptable. Often the only contact that non-Michigan residents have with this institution is through our athletic teams, and in the past, this representation has served us well. Our teams were widely reputed as among the most respected in the country. After this incident and others like it, however, that is no longer the case. It would be wise for Webber, Jackson, and head coach Steve Fisher to remember who we are. We are not UNLV or the University of Miami (Fla.). We are Michigan.

by AndyWu

If you could immortalize any part of your body to be put on a street sign, which one would it be? Kapil Puri, Engineering Senior: The 30 inches of dangling fury .. . of my left arm.

EDlTOR-lN-CHIEF: Tony Ghecea PUBLISHER: Andrew Bockelman EXECUTIVE EDITORS: Jay O. McNeiH, Tracy Robinson, Stacey Walker CONffilBUTING EDITORS: Erik Berg, Nate Jamison, Beth Martin, Brian Schelke ASSISTANT EDITOR: Ryan Baeskool MUSIC EDITOR: Drew Peters LITERARY EDITOR: Adam Garagiola GRAPHICS EDITOR: Wi" Ryan EDITORIAL STAFF: t-v1att Anderson, Eddie Arner, Eric Bamlack, Mchele Brogley, Jason Carmi, Andrea Cousino, Kim Conley, Steve Dudek, Jae Epstein, Frank Grabowski, Corey HiH, Aaron Kanter, Gene Krass, Eric Larson, Erin M:Eligott, Crusty MIncher, Tom Paska, Jay Rarros, Jarres Roberts, Char1es RousseaU)(, TS Taylor, Peny lllonllson, Martin Vlaet, Gloria Vulcano, Jeff Weinmann, McheUe Wietek, t-v1artin Wilk, t-v1att Wilk, Tony Wood1le!, Antij Wu MTS COORDINATOR: James Elek SYSTEMS ANAL YST: IvtIch Rohde ADVERTISING DIRECTOR : Jonathan Lajiness CIRCULA TION DIRECTOR: Aaron Steelman FUNDRAISING DIRECTOR: Erica De Sanlis BUSINESS STAFF: Jacob Bourne, Amold Chang, Peter Daugavietis, TorI DirolllJaldo, Arrtf East, Chris Fruendt, John Gustafson, Jerry Kowal, Bany Stern, Chet Za~o EDITOR-AT-LARGE: Adam DeVore PUBLISHER EMERITA: Karen S. Brinkman J~ECUTIVE EDITORS EMERm: Jae Coletti, Jeff PvtJir - EDITORS EMERITI: Brian Jendryka, John J. MIler The Mchigan Review is an independent, weekly studenlrun journal at the University fA Mchigan. We neither soIic~ nor accept rronetary donations from the University 01 Mchigan. CootribUlions to the Mchigan Review are taxdeductible under Line SOI(c)(3) 01 the Internal Revenue Code. The Review is not affiliated wkh any poIiIicaJ party. Unsigned ed~orials represent the opinion fA the editorial board. Signed articles and cartoons represent the opinions 01 the author and not necessamy those 01 the Review. The opinions pl'eser(ed in this publication are not necessarWy' those cA the advel1lsers or fA the Universlly fA ~. We welcome letters and articles and encourage COlT'fTlellts about the journal and issues discussed in ~.

Aaron Zima, Engineering Senior: My calves. fm a calves man.

Please address aU subscription inquiries to: Circulation D~ector c/o the Mchigan Review. AN advertising loquiries should be diected to: Advertising Director c/o the Mchigan Review. EDITORIAL AND BUSINESS OFFICES: SUITE ONE 911 N. UNIVERSITY AVENUE ANN ARBOR, MI 48109-1265 TEL (313) 662-1909 FAX (313) 936-2505

Vincent Mastrogiacomo, Engineering Junior: My nose, because I can pick up a barbeque being fired up a mile away. A curse, however, is that I also know when someone has soiled his underwear.

Brian Spiegel, Engineering Freshman: A great man named Christian would say, "My butt, so everyone can still kiss it when fm dead.'"

--- -----

Correction Due to a pr4lter's error, the details of the front page photo in the March 3, 1993 issue of the Michigan Review were rendered invisible by the printing process. The photo was intended to show a poster of a scantily clad woman located behind the infamous "Pussie Rd." sign in West Quad. Trust us. It was ironically amusing at the time.

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

March 10, 1993

o SCIENTIFICALLY SPEAKING

Breaking the Genetic Code By JAMES ELEK AND BRIAN ScHEFKE

MAGINE THE IMMENSE amount of information contained in a single human cell, such as a person's height, hair color, or blood type. Now imagine knowing precisely where this information is and how to read it. If successful, the Human Genome Project CHGP) will achieve exactly that. Begun in 1990 by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) and the U. S. Department of Energy (DOE), the HGP is a 1~year, $3 billion program. which aims to identify the entire set of genetic instructions contained in human cells, known collectively as the human genome - hence the project's name. Humans have an estimated 100,000 genes, contained in 46 structures known as chromosomes, which are organized into 23 pairs. Genes are essentially segments of deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) which contain instructions for the expression of different human traits, such as those mentioned above. The infonnation contained in DNA comes in the form of substances known as "bases." These bases - adenine, thymine, cytosine, and guanine - pair up with one another in a DNA mol-

James Elek is a senior in physics and MTS Coordinator of the Review. Brian Schefke is a junior in chemistry and cellular and molecular biology and an assistant editor of the Review.

ecule. Cells use biochemical processes known as transcription and translation to take this coded infonnation and interpret it to fonn the various characteristicS and traits that appear in humans. Nine NIH research centers in the United States are taking part in the HGP: the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Washington University at St. Louis, the University of California at San Francisco, Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, the University of California at Berkeley, the University of Iowa, Baylor College of Medicine, the University of Utah, and the University 路 of Michigan. Each center has been assigned a specific goal, and together with researchers from around the world, is working to fulfill the goal of the HGP. . U-M's role in the HGP is to find the iI I gene for a fonn of breast cancer, known as early-onset familial breast cancer. Researchers at the University of California at Berkeley have pinpointed the location of the gene to a region on the seventeenth chromosome . The U-M's task is to find the DNA which comprises it. U-M's center is headed by Dr.

Francis Collins, the discoverer of the cystic fibrosis gene, and is divided into seven "cores." Each core hAs a specialized task, such as providing genetic counseling for families, determining the order of base pairs in a DNA segment, and compiling a library of deciphered DNA fragments . The center also includes an education program headed by Dr. Paula Gregory. Asked what the education program entails, Dr. Gregory explained, "1 go out and speak to students at their schools. We have workshops here in the summer for high school teachers and genetic counselors. We go out-and speak to community groups." She adds that the education program is for "students, teachers, the public - just about anyone you. caw"" imagine who is going to need to know

about this genetic infonnation." The potential impact of the HGP is enormous. According to the summer 1991 issue of Advance, a publication issued by the U- M Medical Center, "Gene mapping opens the door to genetic diagnostics and gene therapy." Along those lines, Dr. Gregory says that with identification ofthe familial breast cancer gene: "you will be able to do two things: you will be able to test people in families and identify who may be at risk. Secondly, it's going to give us some very good understanding, once we know how this gene works, of how breast cancer in general may work." Of course, with the identification of other disease-causing genes , such knowledge about the genetics of breast cancer could be applied to various other genetically~ased disorders. Thus, when the task is completed, scientists will have the keys to unlock the mysteries of the genetic code. With such knowledge, they can begin to combat many diseases at their genetic origin and in so doing, alleviate much human suffering. Ml.

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o FROM SUITE ONE \,

What Has MCC Done for U-M Lately? 1'1

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March 10, 1993

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SKED WHAT THE ACRONYM MCC grANDS FOR, most students at the University of Michigan would probably have no idea. Despite their relative ignorance of the Michigan Collegiate Coalition - a political organization which is supposed tD lobby the state government on behalf of students at Michigan public colleges - U-M students will face two ballot questions concerning MCC during the Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) elections on March 17 and 18. 'Their vote on the matter, however uninformed, will determine whether a portion of their tuition will continue to support the group as it has in the past. 'The first ballot proposal concerning MCC will determine whether the fee students pay to MSA each semester - currently $6.27 - should be increased by $0,35 tD timd the U-M's MCC membership dues. '!be ballot question is the result of a regental vote last June which eliminated a $0,35 fee assessed to all students in addition to the MSA fee. Now ifMCC is to receive any timding from the U-M, that money must come from MSA While such a seemingly small increase in the fee might have been easily approved by MSA in the past, students voted last March to subject all future fee increases to a general referendum. Though MCC has existed since 1988, it has yet to become the representative entity it purports tD be. Despite its claim on an informational flier last October that "MCC is one of the nation's fastest growing state student associations," and that it is "providing a unified voice in the state legislative process," the truth is quite the opposite. In fact, Michigan Teclmical University, a college from the Upper Peninsula, a different perspective. (They certainly dropped its membership from MCC last year because it felt that ,MCC was not need it! ) addressing the needs of its region. Currently nine schools are paying members, but Congratulations to you on what according to Reem Khraizat, vice chair ofMCC, "schools come and: go" each year, seems to be an incredible job of moving ·~"the paper onward and upward You depending on how pleased they are with the organization's leadership. This should be very proud of your efforts. fluctuation in membership belies the notion that MCC is a "unified voice" for To the Editor: The U-M needs the R ev iew . I was with the Michigan Review Michigan colleges. Conservatives coming to campus need The organization has also experienced difficulty in the collection of its from its first organizational meeting in to know that there are, indeed, others membership dues in the past. According to Khraizat, a trend oflate payments has 1981. Tom Fous was the force behind who share their beliefs - many others. developed because most schools' allocations t9 MCC go through colleges' student the Review then, and was its founder. I At 18 years old and set loose in a governments and involve reams of paperwork as well as liberal amounts of political had just gotten to Michigan and was university of 36,000, a person will be surprised to find other conservatives, infighting. The U-M offers no exception to this trend; until recently, MSA had to withhold a $10,000 payment to MCC because of uncertainty regarding MSA's taxbecause of the U- M's reputation. questioning and doubting many things exempt status and related questions about how much money MSA could designate they've grown up believing - especially I see that in 1993, the Left is as for lobbying purposes. in a politically charged town like Arm intolerant as ever. Freedom of speech Arbor. The Review gives these kids an Questions also exist as to MCC's overall effectiveness, primarily concerning was only meant for "correct" speech, outlet they can't find anywhere else. where MCC spends its money. According to Stephanie Arellano, chair ofMCC, only not "fascistJnazi publications." Things about $19,500 ofits budget, the annual salary of its legislative director, is spent on '!be movie "Serial" quotes Star Trek don't change. What the Left fails to direct lobbying. The approximately $50,000 remaining is used to pay employees, as indicating: "In an insane society, the realize is that the First Amendment rent, insurance, and the like. And what issues, exactly, has MCC been working on protects all speech (without reason), sane man will appear insane." (Though lately? Arellano claims that MCC only focuses on "education related" issues on I don't recall ever hearing that on Star but especially unpopula.r speech - no behalf of its member schools. Although recently the organization was successful in Trek, it sure sounds good.) 'Ibis quote is matter where it is found . PC speech lobbying on the issue of teacher competency testing, only a small percentage of doesn't need protecting because it is peIfectly applicable to the U-M - with students are affected by it - education majors in pursuit of teaching certification. its liberal bias and the onslaught of "popular." With majority rule also comes While MCC is cu:iTently lobbying for increased state funding to be used for college political correctness. the upholding of minority rights. But infrastructure maintenance, it is also lobbying against tougher sanctions for I think it's nothing short of amazing the Left won't apply that to us. We are minors caught in possession of alcohol. While the second may arguably be called certainly the minority , especially at that the Daily has dozens and dozens of a student concern, it is difficult to see how it is an "education related" issue, support staff and would-be journalists, Michigan. But rve found the Left to be, however loosely defined. One wonders ifMCC members are getting their money's by far, the most intolerant group I've many of whom wish to graduate into worth in lobbying. the professional media . At the same ever seen. In addition, Alaina Campbell, the lobbyist for MCC in Lansing, will be leaving time, the Michigan Review is staffed by I recall that early on we would her job by May. For better or worse, the effectiveness oflobbyists depends directly leave stacks of papers wherever we economists, scientists, philosophers, on tenure and personal dealings with legislators. AB Campbell departs, so does her thought people might be reading. At etc., who have very little journ.alistic knowledge and experience in dealing with politicians. The new lobbyist will have the Med library, someone went through background, yet produce a superior to rebuild these relationships; seriously diminishing the lobbying effectiveness of publication, Is it the people? Is it the an entire stack of Reviews, crossing out the organization for at least the next year. "Michigan" and writing in "Fascist." ideas? Is it the shoes? Maybe it's all Fortunately, the third MSA ballot proposal is the mirror image of the second, Nice. Other times, we'd find hundreds three - but whatever the reason, you asking the simple question, "Shall all financial ties between MSA and MCC be are doing something right. Keep the thrown in the garbage at a time. But immediately severed?" Students ought consider seriously questions about the why? I never l.Ulderstood that. Why else torch burning at the Michigan Review. effecti.veneas and cohesiveneas ofMCC, the lax way in which the organization has are we at Michigan except to learn and It is needed now more than ever. been informing the students it claims to represent, as well as what MCC is doing expose omselves to new/different ideas? "on their behalf' when voting on whether or not to end their relationship with Obviously, we posed a threat to quite a Jim Frego, LSA '86 MCC. Mt few people who should have welcomed Los Angeles, CA

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o FROM OUR READERS A Message from the Ghost of Review Past

THE MICFnGAN REVIEW

March 10, 1993

o REVELATIONS OF AFIFTH-YEAR SENIOR

The Politically Extreme Road Trip BY

BRIAN JENDRYKA D. McNEILL)

try bus rides, we borrowed a friend's VW van, popped in the Fleetwood Mac eight-track and embarked on our own tour to "feel the pain of the American people." Jay took the wheel and proceeded to bypass the faster U.S.-23 route, opting instead for the laboriously long 175, which traverses the heart of Detroit. "Where are we going," I asked, as I had asked 80 often on our previous road

(AND JAY

WAS ABOUT TO SET OUT ON my annual pilgrimmage to visit my friends in Washington, D.C. among them acclaimed Wall Street Journal and National Review contributor, Washington insider, and fellow Review editor emeritus John J. Miller - when thought struck me - maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to drive the whole nine hours by myself I immediately thought of my fellow southwest Michigan hick buddy and current Review executive editor Jay McNeill. Rather, Jay Dee McNeill. I knew I would be taking a big risk in extending him the invitation to accompany me, as he is one of those rabid, hard~re Review-types who lives for right-wing politics. He watches CSpan, just to make fun of "the liberals." Just the sight of George Stephanopolous is enough to bring forth a slew of "commie pig-dog"-related invectives from him. His opinion of me is equally ext1'eme. 'Ib him, I am a conservative who has gone soft, who has sold out to the crunchy-granola environmentalists and the Michael Dukakis, card-earrying ACLU. Apparently my illogical,' overzealous affinity for trees as opposed to smokestacks earned me this leftist label. But I remembered our common rural, southwest Michigan upbringing that allowed us to tolerate each other for a previous nine-hour road trip, and decided to invite him anyway. After a morning of Diag squirrel hunting, and in the spirit of the ClintonGore campaign and their cross~un-

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tnps. "I thought it might be nice to take in some fresh air from one of America's premier industrial epicenters," he replied with a toothy grin. As we drove on, I immediately noticed two problems with Jay's driving. The first was that he would not leave the right lane. The second was his constant speed of 60 mph. I could figure out the first for myself - Jay considered the left lane for leftists only. He explained that, ideally, all highways would be seven lanes wide so that he could have three lanes in

Brian Jendryka. is a fifth-year senior in English and economics and editor emeritus of the Review. Jay D. McNeill is a junior in business administration and an executive editor of the Review. They are sick of etJ.{;h other. I Strawberry

which to maneuver without betraying his political principles. In addition, it would enable wafflers like current Review Editor-in-Chief Tony Ghecea to drive down the middle lane, and never have to take a stand on anything. "Now that would be real government investment," Jay said. I agreed, saying that as long as we were paying tolls, libertarian-minded people like myself ought to have our own lane where we could pay an extra

fee and have no speed limits or laws at all. The constant speed of60 mph, however, mystified me. "Why aren't you going faster than 60?" I inquired. "In case you missed it, they moved the speed limit up to 65 a few years back" "What were the years of the last three Democratic presidents?" he asked me bluntly. "Db. ... '77-'80 and '61-'68." "Exactly." Jay's political zeal permeated everything we did - from refusing to

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drive in states with Democratic governors, to only getting gas at right-wing gas stations like Exxon. At such rest stops, we invariably ate at the Bill Clinton restaurant of choice ... McDonalds. And just as Bill denounced the "over-inflated" prescription medicine prices, I lambasted the cashier about the monopolized tollway pricing. "Two bucks for six chicken McNuggets?!" I screamed. "Do you know what these things are made of? The raw materials can't cost more than 17 cents!" The cashier broke into tears. "It's not my fault," she whimpered. "We pay a premium price for high-quality Arkansas chickens." At this point, Jay's cooler head prevailed. "Brian, don't you remember the purpose of this trip?" he asked. "You need to open your heart and feel her pain." He took both of our hands and held them tightly. "Can't we all just get along?" he mocked. Once we were back in the car, Jay surprised me by offering to pay the tolls 011 the way down. After I had accepted his offer, and was beginning to think that there actually was a soft spot in his heart, he explained that he feared a new tollway tax would be imposed by the Clinton administration sometime during our three-day stay in Washington and he was simply taking precautionary measures. Pennsylvania was a blur. Jay forced me to listen to Rush Limbaugh, and all I remember is three hours of Jay and Rush telling me how great Rush was. Other than the various political arguments that dominated our conversation, the rest-stops were the only interesting encounters on the remainder of the trip. At one stop, we debated as to exactly how the auto-flush uri· nals worked - how did they know when you were done? We failed to come to any concrete conclusion except that this must be the type of technology with which Bill Clinton will create his "hightech, high-{se)wage" jobs of the future. As we neared the end of our journey, we passed a "Welcome to Maryland, Please Drive Gently" sign. "Let me know if I'm not driving gently enough," I told Jay. "I certainly wouldn't want to get a non-gently ticket from Maryland's finest." "Drive gently!" Jay blurted out. "That's the kind of touch-feely, dogooder liberalism that I despise." I rolled my eyes. Never again, I thought. Ml

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THE MICIDGAN REVIEW

March 10, 1993

o INTERVIEW: FRED BARNES

McLaughlin'S 'Beadle' Tells All N FEBRUARY 26, JAY D. McNeill interviewed Fred Bames. Bames is a senior editor at the New Republic, a regular panelUt on PBS' The McLaughlin Group, and a frequent substitute panelist on CNN's Crossfire. McNeill conducted the interview in Bames' car on his way to tape the February 28 edition of 'Th.e McLaughlin Group.

time. I've known Eleanor for nearly twenty years, Jack for even more, Mort even longer than that. So we're all pretty good friends. You wouldn't want to come on every week if you hated somebody; it would be a little unpleasant. But all the disagreements are honest, on the air and off.

I wish conservatives had the same influence in Hollywood, in the theater, and in the literary world and so on, but they don't. But in the narrow confines ofop-ed pages, conservatives are powerful.

MR: Do you get satisfaction out of winning arguments on the show and knowing that you've won them?

BARNES: It's still true. You can see that split right now, and it's why the Republicans have no alternative, why they have no unified critique, of the Clinton economic program.. 'There are some, like Bob Dole, who want to focus on the deficit itself and say there are not enough spending cuts. And then there are others, like Jack Kemp, who want to concentrate on the tax increases and criticize them and not advocate a whole lot more spending cuts at all. You have those two wings, particularly in the congressional party, and I their differences are unresolved. 'Th.en r"V~l1 have a whole other wing, and it I tends to be a smaller bifurcation in the I Kemp camp, and that is between the ecoI1,.omic determinists like Kemp, and the more cultural conservatives like Bill Bennett. Now Bill BenIiett agrees with all of Jack Kemp'S economic ideas. He just thinks those have to be a part of a bigger package that includes a lot of cultural items, and Kemp doesn't agree with that. So that's another split, but in fact all the Bennett-type people are in the larger Kemp camp. They just have disagreements with Kemp.

MIt: Why doee John MelaughIIn always refer to you 18 "Freddy 'the beaclt' Barnes" on his show? BARNES: Well, Freddy is my son's name. I never go by Freddy - that's why John likes to call me that. Obviously my name is Barnes. The beadle business is actually meant as a term of endeannent. It's about the closest John can come of one. Beadle, as explained by Father John, a former Jesuit priest, is the teacher's pet in a Catholic school. He's the tough Jesuit teacher and the beadle is his favorite student - the one he calls on to help in class. Since I help out during the week, I talk with him and executive producer Allison Kennedy frequently during the week, and try to have some in.t1uence in shaping the show and what issues are going to be discussed, I get the name' beadle. In fact, I offer a lot of advice and practically none ofit is taken.

BARNES: Yeah, but the satisfaction is usually very short-lived. Riding back from the show after having taped it, when you think you've really scored a point, or a big point, or a series of points, you soon begin to realize what you didn't say, what you said was incorrect, or said poorly, then the savor of victory goes away. Then when you actually watch the show, you realize that you didn't do anything as well as you thought. So almost every time I've felt puffed up about doing well, or defending my position well, or making a point well, it usually turns out that I did just the opposite. On the other hand, there are times that I thought I did really poorly, and I did better than I thought.

MR: Do you argue with Eleanor Clift, Jack Germond and tht.rest after the stage lights go down? BARNES: Oh, it depends on the issue. 'The issues that are the most emotional and volatile and fiery for people to talk about - I can think about three or four that have come up in recent years - are the same way on the show: Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill, Oliver North, the contras, Bill Clinton's private life. Those have been the issues that have caused the greatest and most strenuous disagreements. Sure, we discuss those off camera, but the truth is we all get along privately. I get along with Eleanor much better privately than I do in public. Jack Germond, as my first boss at the Âˇ Washington Star in the 1970s, got me into political reporting in the first place. We've all known each other for a long

MR: Do you find that people will recognize you when you're on the street? BARNES: Yeah, sometimes people will say, "Hey, Freddy 'the beadle' Barnes,"

MR: Turning our attention to GOP politics, in the December 14 issue of the New Republic, you wrote about the Kemp and Dole wings of the Republican Party. Could you explain that?

"Hey, Mort." But it's not like being a real celebrity.

MR: Is there any political columnist whose work you particularly enjoy reading? BARNES: Well, I always read the Evans & Novak column. Bob Novak is one of the greatest reporters that America has ever produced.. George Will has gotten much better now that George Bush is out of office, and now he's basically in full opposition and is a much better columnist. Tom Sowell's column in Forbes is always tremendous; great column and a brilliant guy. I like Bob Samuelson, he's a very good columnist on economics. Whenever I read Paul Gigot's columns in the Wall Street Journal, my invariable reaction is, gee, I wish I'd written that. There are really a lot of them, so it's hard to single anybody out. One of the places where conservatives have made it, probably the only place in our entire cultural and journalistic landscape, is in column writing. It's one of the reaâ&#x20AC;˘ sons I haven't written a syndicated column - other than the fact that the New Republic articles I write are syndicated in a few papers - because there is no need in this country for another conservative columnist. 'There are many and they are very good.

You need a [cultural] values revolution in the inner city for things to change, as well as a lot of eco- . nomic incentives and other social incentives.

Jay D. McNeill is ajunior in business administration and an executive editor of the Review.

and, you know, I kind of blush. But doing the McLaughlin Group, CBS This Morning, and some things on CNN like Crossfire, you find that there is a group of Americans who are basically politicaljunkies and who up on political issues and watch these shows on television. That's a few million Americans, but it's not like the crowd that watches Roseanne. Sure, some people recognize you, but some people see me and say,

are

MR: And which wing do you put yourself in? BARNES: Oh, definitely the Kemp camp. Although I like Dole. Ideologically, Dole is not my guy. Journalistically, he's the best interview in Washington right now. He's funny, he's quotable, he's politically penetrating, a great guy to talk. to. And he doesn't give you a lecture as Kemp does.

MR: Do you ever get the sense that Kemp is a IttIe too much ike George Bush, in the sense that he is too eager to please and not wiling to be combative with his political foes? BARNES: Well, there are a whole lot of issues that Jack Kemp doesn't like to talk a~ut. They're issues that are divisive, and tend to make liberals who sometimes like Jack, not like him. Any issue that has to do with race, he doesn't lik~ negative campaigning, he doesn't like issues like quotas, he doesn't really

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

March 10, 1993

want to talk about spending cuts. He just wants to talk about positive things, incentives and so on. It makes him, in my view, a little too narrowly focused. People have accused Jack of overly courting the favor of liberals, particularly in journalism. I think that's basically an llllfair rap. It's just the way Jack is. I mean, Jack Kemp does not use the kinds of issues Jessie Helms uses to get re-elected, and he isn't going to do it Jack Kemp as a presidential candidate will not use quotas as an issue, he will not use opposition to any civil rights legislation, he will not attack afllrmative action, diversity and things like that, which I think are important issues.

MR: Recently at the Conservative Political Action Conference, Kemp and Pat Buchanan harped on each other during their respective speeches. Any comments?

fine; they don't believe that af'all. You do see a conflict irl' t4~.polls, MR: Rumor has it you also have strong views and the conflict is that while only a on college basketball. minority wants to ban abortion across the board, as I would prefer, most AmeriBARNES: I'm strictly an ACC man, cans don't like abortions. They want restrictions on the right to an abortion, whether it is a parental consent requirement, or informed con. sent, or a 24-hour waiting period, or a ban on gender-selection abortions, or a ban on abortions for convenience completely - although it would be hard to actually write a law i having gone to the University of Vir· that banned abortions for convenience. ginia. Over the years I've seen other But the public is very conflicted on this. minor collegiate leagues come and go. In the short run the pro-life move'The Big Ten, the Pac-10, the SEC, but ment is in terrible shape, because the year after year, the ACC has the best Supreme Court, even filled with Reagan brand of basketball around. There have and Bush judges, has reaffinned Roe v. been three teams in the top ten from Wade, and Congress is pro-abortion, time to time, in Duke, North Carolina, and now we have a president who is and Florida State. Then in the top ! rigidly pro-abortion. So across the board twenty you've had VIrginia, and Wake politically the pro-life movement has Forest, and sometimes Georgia Tech. It lost, so that means that they really is an incredibly strong league. have to turn to winning the hearts and In truth, the Big Ten is really the minds of the American people and have only rival to the ACC. Other leagues a program to change national attitudes. have f~llen off, particularly the Pfl0' 10, the SEC, and the Big East. The:Big I think it can be done. It's not going to East has definitely fallen. Admittedly, be easy, but that really has to be the Michigan is a good team, and if they task ahead for the pro-life movement, which will never give up, that's for I were in the ACC, if they really played well, and if Steve Fisher had a couple sure. more good recruiting years, I think Michigan could finish in the middle of MR: Do you think the Freedom of Choice Act the ACC consistently. will change the political landscape?

most influence on me is not a pblitical book, but a religious book. It's a book by Malcolm Muggeridge, called Jesus Rediscovered. It's a collection of essays by Malcolm Muggeridge on the subject of Jesus Christ. It's not one of these Christian books that is proof of the Resurrection, or any· thing like that. It's a book that says we, educated upper middle-<:lass Ameri· cans, are people who are imprisoned in the dungeon of our ego, and we're pursuing things like power, and money, and success, and greed, things that we really know are not going to satisfy us, and yet we pursue them anyway. And what our real problem is, and what the real source of our mid-life crisis that men in particular have, is a spiritual hunger. Muggeridge, who came to Christianity at a very late age in life, was an atheist for many, many years - grew up an atheist - tUscovered that Jesus Christ and belief in him was the only I thing that could satisfy that spiritual i hunger. The book was very critical to f'rny making the same decision that I Malcolm Muggeridge did. Mt I

[I]n the short run, the pro-life movement is in terrible shape, because the Supreme Court, even filled with Reagan and Bush judges, has reaffirmed Roe v. Wade, and Congress is pro-abortion, and now we have a president who is rigidly pro-abortion.

BARNES: Yeah, they have been. But some of the Kemp critici8IIl seems also to be aimed at Bennett. I think that's unfortunate. I don't know why Kemp does that He does have somewhat of a self-righteous streak. I agree with Kemp entirely on the conservative anti-poverty program; I think it is exactly what is needed. But I also agree with the part of the conSflr· vative anti-poverty program that Bennett brings to the table in terms of the cultural values. You do need a val· ues revolution in the inner city for things to change, as well as a lot'of economic incentives and other social incentives. I agree with both of them. I don't think Kemp should criticize Republicans who do not agree with him about the cehtrality of a conservative BARNES: Well, the Freedom of Choice anti-poverty program. For most conAct is not in law yet. There may be a servatives, it's always going to be pe-' majority for it in both houses of Con· ripheral. I think it is important, but it's gress, but the problem is that there is a not the main thing. 'The economy and majority also for adding restrictions to the nation's security are always going it. to be bigger issues than a conservative As written now, the Freedom of anti-poverty program and Kemp Choice Act would bar any restrictions shouldn't get upset about the lack of a being enacted by any state at any time. response among conservatives when There is a majority, at least in the he talks anti-poverty. H e . • shouldn't lecture them on their hard-heartedness. It ~I· is not going to be an issue .D I,S that's going to galvanize, or unify, or thrill conser' . vatives. I agree with it, and mo~t ~nserva~ves agree Wlth It, they J u s t · don't care much about it. Senate, to allow restrictions and to attach an amendment to the Freedom of MR: You have WIlY strong views on abortion, Choice Act saying that. The supporters • don't you? of the bill, the sponsors of the bill, may BARNES: I do. I'm against it. I think it reject that. So you can see a situation where there would be an impasse and would be a mistake to misread the we wouldn't get a Freedom of Choice public's mood on abortion. The public is Act, which would certainly be prefernot saying we .want this issue to go away, we think abortion on demand is able tome.

MR: Any predictions?

Join MREV:Forum the Michigan Review's :MrS computer conference. .

BARNES: Well, Indiana looks awfully good, but somehow I don't think they'll win it. Who is going to win this year? 'That's a hard question. Not Kentucky, and not Arizona, and it isn't going to be Duke again. I'll tell you the team that I've been most impressed with and thatfveseenisNorthCarolina. I've seen North Carotina play twice against Vu-ginia, and they cleaned • VIrginia's clock. Overpowering up front. Eric Montros.s, who's from Indi· ana and ill should have been in the Big Ten, is a terrific center. North Carolina lacks its usual outside shooting ability, but really has a powerful team and a deep bench, so I'm going to go with the Tarheels.

To join, type $source MREV:Forum at the # prompt.

[D]olng The McLaughll,n Group, C'DS Th· d lr.LOrnl,ng ... an Crossfire you find that there is a

LETTERS

group of AmerIcans who are baSIcally political junkies.

Suite One 911 North Univeristy Avenue Ann Arbor, MI 48109·1265

MR: " you could recommend a book for u-M students to read, what would it be?

to the Editor

or via MTS to "The Michigan Review·

letters should be typewritten and include the author's phone nurTtler. Short opinions essays are also welcome.

BARNES: 'The book that has had the

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March 10, 1993

THE MIClllGAN REVIEW

Progessive

Michigan Patty

Party

but also to make such spending more of both the Code and the Diag Policy, it equitable. Greenberg and Kight insist realizes that the probability of an outthat their objective is to assist the sturight revocation of either policy is rather dent body as a whole, rather than prolow. Insteadoffutilely attempting to do mote one group over so, the party has chosen to take a more reanother through biased alistic and construcfunding . In.addition, tive role - that of prothey pledge to focus additional resources and posing amendments attention on smaller and various changes groups as well as to the policies . It is groups that are formed their view that this apwithin some of the proach will ultimately smaller schools on cambenefit students most pus, organizations that As is true of any are all too often ned em 0 cr at ic a 11 yglected when it comes VIce esida1tIaI ndidat elected assembly, the to funding. In this manpr B . ca e future of MSA lies in ner, the Michigan nan Kight the willingness of the Party believes that MSA will truly bestudent body to participate actively in come a resource to the student body. it. The Michigan Party, realizing this, Given the Michigan Party's emis concerned with the rise of student phasis on students rather than ideoloapathy toward MSA Indeed, it is this gies, it is only natural that the issue of concern which led to the founding of the student rights would hold a prominent party. They believe that the future of position in its platform. The party is MSA and its ability to benefit U-M concerned primarily with the Statestudents, will only be secure if the difment of Student Rights and Responsiferences among its members are cast bilitie". the "mag Policy," and the role aside and replaced by cooperation and ofU-M police on campus. They stress, ~, true progress. '!he Michigan Party, with however, that it is essential to addreBs'~' I it~ non-ideological philosophy and tothe issue of student rights in a broad tal commitment to student concerns on manner, as opposed to concentrating campus, believes that it is just the party solely upon the latest policy enacted by to accomplish this. Mt the administration. Although the Michigan Party expresses a considerable James Roberts II is a freshman in LSA amount of concern over various aspects and a staff writer for the Review.

Continued from page 1

Continued from page 1 cott against Colorado in light of purportedly anti-gay ordinances passed wi thin the Bfate. Another probable item on the PP agenda will be the funding of the Michigan Collegiate Coaltion (MCC). Many current PP MSA representatives have expressed their desire to have MCC funded to its full extent, even going so far as to attempt to fund the organization after funding was denied to MCC by the University administration (see related editorial on page 4). The PP platform will likely also include plans for increased funding of the Ann Arbor Tenants' Union (MTU) and Student Legal Services (SLS). Funding for these groups was cut by a Conservative Coalition majority in MSA two years ago. SLS and AATU expanded funding last year; they currently rearlve 6O-plus parrent ofMSA's total funding appropriations. Ml

reauved

Matt Wilk is a sernor in Political Science and a staff writer for the Review. He will serve on a discussion panel with MSA Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidates on Wednesday, March 10, in the North Campus Commons, East Room, at 8 o'clock.

logical, business-oriented approach to governing. Believing that national political ideologies cannot, and should not, be brought to MSA, the party has rejected the basic principles and philosophies that characterize more traditional campus political parties. Boasting that they themselves associate with different parties on the national level, Greenberg and Kight insist that their party holds no "litmus test" for its candidates, other than an unequivocal pledge to serve the student body. Indeed, with members from "all different comers of the University," as Greenberg points out, the Michigan Party is as diverse and inclusive as its name indicates. By introducing this non-ideological aspect to MSA, the party hopes to establish increased consensus among the officers, achieve a greater amount of progress in dealing with campus issues, and create more interest and participation in student government. Demonstrating its commitment to the student body, the Michigan Party has expressed concern over the amount of funding that is used to find student organizations. Indicating that less than ten percent of MSA's revenue is appropriated for such groups, they believe that this part of the budget is drastically underfunded. '!he party plans not only to increase the amount of money spent on student groups and events,

Conservative Coalition Continued from page 1

for Scheduled Use ofU-M Designated

I Outdoor Common Areas (the "Diag I Policy"), in order to identify and resolve I problems before such policies are imple-

out how their representatives are voting because of incompetence," he remarked, referring to the failure of the mented. "I think if MSA had proper present administracommunication with tion ofEde Fox and the the administration, Progressive Party to we might have heard run meetings effiabout the Diag Policy ciently and record roll before [it was implecall votes. "MSA under mented]," commented Ede Fox has had probHouse. lems following rules," One ofCC's goals, he asserted. if elected, would be to CC would like to transfer the control and funding of Stuwork with student groups as well as Udent Legal Services M's small schools and (SLS) to the regents. colleges to include their Vice presidential candidate Though this proposal MIchelle TogÂŤ special needs in MSA's was a campaign promagenda. "There's a lot of things that ise of the Progressives last year, little MSA can do w help the student body. It or no progress has been made on the has the resources to do it," said House. issue. "I don't believe anybody has spoHouse would like to see MSA workken with any of the regents about SLS," ing with the U-M administration and House said. If elected, he said, MSA regents on issues such as the Statewill meet with the regents, administrament of Student Rights and Responsition, and members of SLS to work on bilities and the recentlY 'adopted Policy the reorganization. _

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Another priority of CC will be improvinglD1dergraduate education at UM, focusing on over-crowded classes and deteriorating classrooms which contribute to a poor learning environment. CC would also work with the administration to redesign the summer orientation program required for incoming freshman, making it more practical and less subservient to special interests. In addition, CC opposes the ballot proposal to increase MSA funding. "We're absolutely against raising the fee . There is enough money in MSA's budget to take care offunding student groups," said House, remarking that MSA needs to control waste. "It's funny that when students say they're in favor of a fee cap, the first thing the radicals try to do is raise the fee." CC also opposes increasing the money given to the Michigan Collegiate Coalition (MCC), a lobbying group that is supposed to represent the concerns of Michigan's public universities before the legislators in Lansing. CC favors MCC F'wlding Proposal 3, which, if passed, will sever all relations and -

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financial ties between MSA and MCC. "We should really reconsider spending our money on MCC and consider spending it at home," said Toger. Of the new Michigan Party, House said, "It's kind of one of the pop-up parties that comes and goes away. CC has been around and we're not going to disappear after a term." 'TImothy Morales, a junior running withCC for the position ofLSA representative, agreed. "'Ibey don't have an ideology," he said. Toger said of the founding of the Michigan Party, "It's an interesting attempt." She feels the fact that the Progressives are.calling themselves the party of change is "ironic, considering they're the party in power right now." House and Toger cited the failures of the Progressives as the cause ofMSA's credibility problems. Toger said, "When students see MSA as a serious organization, they'll take it seriously." Ml Tracy Robinson is a junior in political science and an executive editor of the Review.

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March 10, 1993

THE MICIDGAN REVIEW

DSATIRE

Wave of Anxiety Shakes Campus U-M to Sensitize Students to Bureaucrats' Plight "I love the smell ofXerox® in the morning. It's the smell of bureaucracy, a daily reminder of what makes glorious volumes ofpaper shuffling possible. It's primal. It'8 erotic.» - U-M Spokesth.ing for the Ad Hoc Associate Subcommittee on Personnel Resource Streamlining

verse and Everything, in Triplicate," ther Impracticality or Blameless Nirwas scrapped after one member of the vana? or (lm)plausible Deniability and I Vagrancy Awareness & Accomodation (In)evitable Delays, depending upon the Center decried it hitchhikerophobic. decision of the Ad Hoc Committee on "It's time for Change," explained Titular Quibbling, is to be published, one self-evidently alienated Spokesappropriately, by Random House. thing for Curricular Superflua, "not just in how we Plans for teach, but in what G.L.A5S , REI£ltr AFTE:::R., 1-1£ : Expansion 1 we teach. How are 1 / , M SOAAY sua TI{AT IS NOT"""" Should the proBY 317-48-6669-1 students ever going MV DEfflPJJv"/£tIr} SUT' f CAN gram sureeed in the ESPITE THE ADMINIto become quiet, leTP.Y m TRANSFER yo U. n eyes of the Ad Hoc stration's glitzy public relations thargic, unprin,=}~'i.c"'"t/ . ,/'" .,' . ', . ,~ " Committee on efforts to justifY the continuing cipled.kee~ofthe if ~'.>'~, . DURE.AtJC.R~ ~elytizationProgrowth of its already sprawling bubureaucratic flame ¥. ,,:J;0 ~\1 101 ficlency, the .U-M reaucracy, students seem to be harborif we permit their '~.........'\I will establish a ing increasingly skeptical if not fla'~ ACT ALOOF graduate Departhostile attitudes grantly hostile attitudes toward the for which conservaALUJAYS ment of Bureautives, needless to iP-.flNSFf-1Z cratology. money-sucking, tuition-squandering say, are responsible CALi-S "Students won't infestation of nameless functionaries who make the U-M tick. Worker mo- to flourish and enroll and take rale has suffered so grievously that seethe unchecked?" classes as they do in Someone With Authority has decided Students, the other departments. to institute a remedy. Spokesthing explained, must receive The program has an active, hands-on "It's a time bomb," quipped one of educations which will serve them well philosophy," said an Adjunct Assistant several Associate Adjunct Assistants in what promises to be an increasingly to the Spokesthing's Attorney. to the Vice-Vice President for Trivial "All students," it said, "will be al~ . bureaucratic Twenty-First Century. "We propose," explained one PeAffairs. "Students almost seem to dislowed to apply for admittance into the believe that we know what is best for ripheral Associate Spokesthing for the Graduate Bureaucratology Program, them. They don't trust us to respect Ad Hoc Committee on Pro-active and and regardless of their actual admisSocial Positivist Curricular Reform, "to sion statuses they will receive confustheir freedoms of speech and assembly, require students to take a course adnor do they trust us to run our own inglyambiguous feedback from at least miniature criminal justice system. '!hey dressing the ills of bureaucraphobia. four distinct but seemingly authoritaBureaucraphobia, as you may know, think that we waste their money on tive administrators. Some feedback will has been officially recognized as a combe accurate, some misleading, and some silly public relations-type schmoozing municable psychological disorder by the utterly meaningless." with our alumni. And they're convinced American Psychological Association. Students will then "have to try to that our managerial structure is obWe deem eradicating it to be part of our contact the relevant personnel" within scenely top-heavy just because we're duty to preserve public health." the Bureaucratology Program to deterturning classrooms into posh offices The proposed course, explained a mine their actual admission statuses. and acquiring a huge bureaucratic hive me,mber of the Peripheral Spokesthing's Such interaction will be allowed to condown by Briarwood Mall. Of course, University-hired team of attornies, tinue for as long as students pursue it. such allegations are as troubling as would teach students first, that the they are spurious and absurd." "After a number of years, those who were in fact admitted and who naviEnglish language, in typically EuroBecause certain administrators centric fashion, is intrinsically biased gated the bureaucracy with approprihave vowed to maintain a comfortable against bureaucrats and bureaucracy; ate apathy and submissiveness will livingllearning environment for all second, that bureaucraphobia is an receive degrees. Those who were not members of the University Commuomnipresent feature of our historically accepted, however, may continue to nity, they now find that students' imoppressive culture; and third, that some work fruitlessly as long as they wish," proper, ungracious attitudes toward Uthe Assistant Spokesthing for the people are born with the bureaucratical M functionaries require adjustment. impulse and cannot, therefore, help but Spokesthing's Attorney explained. In an effort to "enlighten students Nobody, however, will receive forbecome petty functionaries. and open their eyes to their own preju"That last category is especially mal notification of anything. Neither dices," as one administrative red-tapist important," according to the admissions nor degrees will be offiput it, the U-M will soon institute a Spokesthing's attorney, "because it cially recognized - tmless applicants new curricular requirement officially speaks indirectly to those unsatisfied meet at least three of five mutually dubbed "Crushing Insensitivity Toward folks who, born with bureaucratism, exclusive criteria - according to UniBureaucrats Through the Systematic either do not realize that they are desversity documents. Frustration of Students." tined to assume a bureaucratic position According to another Spokesth.ing, '!he original monicker, "University or refuse to acknowledge publicly their students accepted into the program will Course 42: The Key to Life, the Uninatural inclination toward the bureaulikely be those who have evinced a clear cratic lifestyle." 317-48--{)669-1 is a senior in philosoand insightful comprehension of the phy and Spanish and editoT'---at-large Rumor has it that the course's priHithertrhither Dichotomy. mary textbook, tentatively entitled eiBureaucrats, the Spokesthing exof the Review.

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plained - especially those whom the aspirant to bureaucratology must surmount - conceive of the world as composed of "bureaucracy hither" and "bureaucracy thither," with the former always being seen as imperative for the successful operation of the latter from the perspective of any particular bureaucrat, for he perceives his bureaucracy as "bureaucracy hither" and ipso facto indispensable. Any portion of a bureaucracy is therefore seen simultaneously as essential and trivial, both the sine qua non of an organization's vitality and the organization's fluff department, depending upon whom one asks. "'The student who grasps this point and applies it properly to stroke the egos of our department's personnel will surely succeed," said the Spokesthing. The Dichotomy, according to one source, receives detailed attention in the Subcommittee on Systemic Simplicity's manual, The Theory of Bureaucrativity. Other Official Sources deny that any such document exists. More Plans for Expansion

As numerous committees plan the implementation of the undergraduate requirement, the U-M Bureactivists, a recently-founded Bureaucratic Advocacy Committee bankrolled by several especially disinterested groups, has begun to petition the President and Faculty Senate for the establishment of a Bureaucracy History Month consisting wholly of Bureaucrat Pride Days. Administrative higher-ups, however, despite their sympathy with the Cause, seem reluctant to make such a concession, as it would amount annually to a University-rondoned work stoppage. In response to this opposition, the Bureactivists have organized a bureaucraphobia oppression hot line. The hot line, explained the group's Adjunct Chief Executive Public Relations Secretary, "consists of an elaborate voice mail system which allows one to leave a message for whomever one guesses to be the appropriate counselor." Local victims of anti-bureaucratic hostility need only dial SLO-DOWN, whereas fellow strugglers from afar must diall-{BUR)-EAU-CRAT. "Getting the special area code from Michigan Bell was so much fun that we're thinking of setting up a whole network of hot lines," explained one Bureactivist. ~ou can't imagine how many calls, letters, forms and meetings it took! It was absolutely delightful. "Mt ..

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THE MIClllGAN REVIEW

March 10, 1993

o BOOK REVIEW

Sowell Debunks Educational Myths BY KAREN

S. BRINKMAN

IKE PRESIDENT CLINTON'S economic plan of "shared sacrifice," the University of Michigan is in the midst of a fiscal year which was touted as one of"shared sacrifice" when the annual budget was proposed to the regents last summer. At that time, UM President James Duderstadt spoke

Inside American Education: The Decline, the Deception, the Dogmas Thomas Sowell Free Press Hardcover, 302 pages $24.95 about the need to raise tuition once again, arguing that students should not be upset because their tuition does not cover the full cost of providing a Michigan education anyway. '!hat it is excusable to raise student tuition much faster than the rate of inflation because the price still does not cover the actual cost is only one claim currently being made by American educators. And it is only one of the many which economist Thomas Sowell effec. tively debunks in Inside American Edlication: The Decline, the Deception, the

of elementary and secondary schools is to destroy the monopoly which schools of education have on the credentialing of teachers, abolish tenure, and for parents, legislators, and taxpayers to begin holding educators accountable for the promises they make and the graduates they produce. He additionally argues that all monitoring of the system (i.e., standardized tests used to evaluate educators' success) be taken completely out of the hands of those being monitored: Any serious attempt at monitoring results must take the choice of test out of the hands of those who are being monitored .... Not only must the test itselfbe outside the control of the education establishment; the resulta must also be monitored. outside the establishment, and the consequences be determined elsewhere as well.

Finally, Sowell insists that parents be given choice in the education of their children. Such an approach would add to a system of accountability, because parents would then act as network of independent monitors of public education. "Accountability," Sowell writes, "is the most important strategic objective to be achieved in colleges and universiDogmas. ties ... and tenure is a key obstacle to In his latest book, Sowell, a s.enior that accountability in academia." As fellow at the Hoover Institution speanother move toward accountability, cializing in social and economic policy Sowell advocates eliminating faculty and the history of ideas, harshly atself-governance systems which allow tacks claimB made by educators of kinfaculty to make administrative decidergartners through graduate studenta. sions for which they cannot be held Inside American Education provides accountable. Sowell argues that when readers with a catalogue of the most professors, rather than administrators, recent ills plaguing the nation's educaare allowed to make administrative detional institutions at all levels. cisions, instead of decisions regarding Th.e book bifurcates his criticisms; their individual departmenta, they canthe first half addresses elementary and not be held accountable for these decisecondary education while the second sions due to the protection which tenhalf addresses higher education. ure provides. Sowell lays part of the blame for Sowell ultimately concludes that "the brutal reality is that the American the state of higher education on the system of education is bankrupt." Fixpublic. While the public's generosity is ing the system, however, may be easier one of the system's greatest assets, than it seems because "all the ingredi- Sowell argues that ita "generosity to a ents for a successful educational sysfault" is one ofita greatest liabilities. In tem already exist in the United States." keeping with his call for outside moniIn suggesting ways to employ these toring of elementary and secondary already-pre8eJlt ingredients to reform schools, Sowell calls for third-party American education, Sowell sts;ltes that monitoring of institutions of higher "the most important thing to re-Qrgalearning and. encourages alumni to subnize about education is our own thinkscribe to alternative student newspaing about it" pers rather than relying on the propaSowell's prescription for the reform ganda-filled publications provided by alumni associations. Karen S. Brinkman. is a tJeniJ:Jr in. French, Inside American Education offers communication, and fine arts and the little new to those familiar with the publi8herem.erita of the Review. debates about the decline of the Ameri-

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can educational system. It does, however, serve as a well-researched catalogue of specific incidents which demonstrate pervading trends in the system for those who have not followed the writings of Dinesh D'Souza and others. Equally important, the book takes a comprehensive look at education from kindergarten through graduate programs and shows how the deficiencies of early education compound the difficulties of students at colleges and universities. Throughout the book., trends become evident, allowing the reader to view educational problems of any particular level as part of a continuum. For example, Sowell shows that while new programs being forced into elementary and secondary classes differ from those in college courses, they also share many similarities. New material at the lower level tends to be psychological in nature, but at the collegiate level it takes more of an ideological form. In both cases, however, Sowell argues that there is a trend of new, non-academic, anti-intellectual material being introduced at the expense of academics. Sowell, a scholar and resear.cher;"" has documented his book well. Interestingly, he draws significantly on independent student publications such as the Michigan Review, the Stanford Review, and the Haroard Salient, which during the past decade have begun to chronicle first-hand the goings on of American campuses from a position other than that of the administration or the standard liberal view offered by campus dailies. Nevertheless, his methodology is at times inadequate. For example, Sowell notes that average Scholastic Aptitude Test scores have declined over the past few decades. What he does not note, however, is that since the 1950s, a broader range of studenta have been taking the test, not merely those who are obviously bound for college. In one place, Sowell criticizes the results of standardized testa used by elementary and secondary schools, because administrators choose tests which show most students to be above average. In another place, however, he cites the results of such standardized tests to back up his arguments. But despite these flaws, the chapters containing Sowell's economic evaluation of colleges and universities ought be recommended reading for alumni considering donations to their alma maters. In one of the book's strongest chapters, Sowell completely discredits the common rhetoric about university finances put forth by university presidents, including many recently uttered

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by the U-M's own James Duderstadt. In one particularly revealing chapter, Sowell takes on the athletic establishment of universities such as the UM and shows as erroneous commonlyheld beliefs regarding collegiate athletics. For example, he points out that contrary to popular beliefs, "even the top-rated sports teams seldom bring in enough money to cover their costs." University and college financial officers will often hide the actual costs of sports programs by inaccurately listing them under different departments' costs in the school's budget. Sowell additionally shows that there may be more myth than truth to the statement that winning sports teams draw in big donations for aschool's academic programs. He first notes that "Athletic 'boosters' - typically not alumni - contribute heavily to athletic programs ... The actual alumni, on the other hand, tend to donate to academic programs or general funds." He then shows that several schools' alumni donations have not been reduced by notoriously poor perlormance or even lack of teams. Other school's donations actually rose after athletic programs were discontinued or suspended. U-M students and alumni may also be interested in the several examples which spotlight the U-M and Duderstadt. In one, Sowell juxtaposes two quotes from Duderstadt on admissions policies at the University President James Duderstadt of the University of Michigan, for example, gave a typical academic response on the issue of racial quotas in admissions: "There is no quota system at the U-M." He added, "We've never had quotas." At the same time, he said, "We seek a student body composition that is reflective of the national composition." Sowell's use of this quote is particularly timely in light of the 4-year progress report released last term on the Michigan Mandate, the U-M's plan for creating a more racially diverse campus. In that report, one chart compares the pe:rrentagea ofU-M minority faculty, staff, and students to 1990 census data percentages, suggesting that U-M's sureeas in recruiting minorities can be measured by these numbers. U-M administrators would be wise to read Sowell's sharp and accurate critique of them and reform themselves before the quality of a Michigan education deteriorates any further.

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THE MICIDGAN REVIEW

March 10,1993

DMuSIC

School of Fish' Foregoes Grunge the attitude [with which] we approached on the grunge band wagon, hold on to everything on Human Cannonball. I your britches and give them a listen. The sophomore effort from School think this album is very much a reacLMOST A YEAR AGO, tion to the first record." of Fish, Human Cannonball , is a colSchool of Fish broke through The album's main constant is the with the alterna-pop single lage of dirty tunes connected by the consistency of Freese's powerful and "Three Strange Days" The song typipleasant melodies of vocallstJguitarist simplistic melodies. At the sound ofa fied their sound : thin but powerful Josh Clayton- Felt. rhythms with great ' .3.• tIt "Whe n we churning guitar, most listeners would ? ..20~ ·"i· .. ~. "\ expect some screeching wrote 'Three vocalist to screw melodies. up the mix. But the soft and flightly Stl'ange Da ys ,' Now it is the era of vocals are the icing on the cake. tha t typified While the song "Blockout" is what we wanted Human Cannonball equipped with an industrial iron clank to sound like: School of Fish that cranks to the beat, "Drag" WBplays hard guitars and Capitol Records solid melodies ," the ballad element of School of Fish. The album even has a simple, unnamed Josh explains. acoustic tune on the last track that is grunge, and everyone But the guitars actually almost moving. wants to move tp Sehave gotten attle and wear flahnels harder, while and drool on stage like Chad Ascher (I) and Josh Clayton-Felt (r) the syntheticEddie Vedder. School ofFish's new alIlounding drums of the former album Puddin' bum, Human Canrumball , shows that have been replaced by the pounding Best Kissers In The World work of Suicidal Tendenciesiinfectious ' they, too, have succumbed to the evoluMCA tion from clean to dirty, even indusGrooves drummer, Josh Freese. trial-sounding music. But before you "The first record was a year--andLTHOUGH BEST KISSERS assume that School of Fish has jumped a- half behind us and we'd changed and In The World may be lacking in grown" says Freese. "Playing for nine Drew Peters rides the crest of fashion's months on the road made us want to do the name department, their de- . forefront with his new grunge hat. stuff that felt good to play live, which is but album, Puddin', is one of the most

BY DREW PETERS

!l,#...

Attention Local Bands In an upcoming issue of the Michigan Review, we will be profiling the local music scene. If you are a band from the Ann Arbor area and you are looking for some free publicity, then let us know who you are. If you have a recording of your band or any other information, and you would like it be reviewed, please send it to:

rocking releases of the year. The first track, "Pickin' Flowers For," is the quintessence of vocal catchiness, and the rest of the songs don't fall far behind. But before all you sorority girls run out and buy Puddin', you should know that this isn't an album full of songs like "Brown Eyed Girl." There is a real power to the music, too. The album is laced with pounding drums and heavy guitars reminiscent of Bad Religion, only with a much slower tempo. And the lyrics don't require a dictionary to decipher, either. For instance, on the song "Melanie" the vocalist relates, "If I had a clime for every time I said something stupid, I'd have sixty-th.ree dollars to spend how I feel." Overall, Puddin' is a "fun" collection of tunes that can get anyone bouncing. Unfortunately, however, the end of the album comes quickly - it's only a five song EP. Hopefully, Best Kissers will be coming out with a bigger dose of pop-core soon: Best Kissers In The World open for _..sehool ofFish on Saturday, March 13th at St. Andrews in Detroit. m

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THE MICfllGAN REVIEW

March 10, 1993

o MUSIC

Henry Rollins Boxes Life BY JOE EPSTEIN

ENRY ROLLINS IS A STUD. He is a tattooed mound of 1 muscle. He growls, grunts, ! rages and rocks as the singer for the ! Rollins Band. Just another idiot rock star? Hardly.

The Boxed Life Henry Rollins Imago Records

.~¥

Life shows that despite gamblers in Las Vegas, and exhausRollins' mean stare, meattion. grinding vocals and fa '1 will do the method-acting stunt," mous crab-like stance on says Rollins. "I will remember the last stage, he is a very articutime I was sane and well-rested an act like that." late storyteller and poet A little humor even comes But not all ofhls performances have out during his Spoken been ftm and games. He has also disWord performances, a fact cussed his troubled childhood as well which seems almost to conas the death of longtime friend Joe tradict the enormous Cole, who was shot in 1991. "SEARCH AND DE- I Rollins will bring his Spoken Word STROY" tattoo that I tour to the Michigan Theater on Fristretches across his back. day, March 12. m "If you're something all I Ii ,i the time besides alive, it Is there a band might as well be funny," or a new release says Rollins, who has been that you want to see doing Spoken Word perreviewed on our pages formances for the past ten years, despite that seemthat we haven't covered ingly endless touring of yet? both Black Flag and The Give us a call Rollins band. and let us know On The Boxed Life, what you'd like to see. Rollins makes light of such subjects as Scud Missile 662-1909. attacks, sex in the age of condo;!lls;~"

Imago records has released a twoCD set, The Boxed Life, as well as an hour long video, Talking From the Box, that profiles Rollins' Spoken Word performances . Additionally, Rollins has just published his eighth book, See a Grown Man Cry, on 2.13.61 , the publishing oompmy he launched while singing for hardcore icons Black Flag. As part of a not-so-new wave of beat-inspired poet-types, The Boxed

Henry Rollins

Joe Epstein stands for what he

believes.

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Timothy Morales Ryan Boeskool Erick Bertrand Mark Fletcher Thomas Bentz Michael Suhy Brock Stations Karl Schaffer Seth Altman

for Vice President

David Nestle Michael Bruno

Nu[sjOK Emily Mooney

arch 17 and 18 tneJt1

St..-ik~=-Qf(~r" .i t. ! ... e ( JiJhr lv"'r.

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• Make the quality and value of education a priority • Restructure the summer orientation program • Overhaul MSA's budget and introduce fiscal responsibility • Fight to stop fee hikes and waste of students' money

EOKjoeerjoK

Michelle Tager

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• Focus MSA on students and campus issues

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Heather

• Form task force on busing and parking problems on campus

Vote NO on -Fee Hike -MCC Proposal 2

Snyd~r

Police OyersiKbt William Shoults

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Vote YES on -MCC Proposal 3

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