vol_13_no_15 by Michigan Review

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路THE MICHIGAN Volume 13. Number 15

Summer 1995

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan

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Students Occupy Fleming Admin. Building; Regents Allow Activists Into Meeting BY

GENE KRASS

N THURSDAY, APRIL 20, about 150 University of Michigan students braved the cold and rainy weather, as well as final exam week., to attend a demonstration in opposition to the infamous and often-ignored Statement of Student Rights and Responsibilities, known to most as the Code, Organized by members of student groups that hold widely differing opinions including the Michigan Student Association (MSA), the Michigan Review, the College Democrats, the College Republicans, the National W<>m.eIis Rights Organizing Coe.lition. and othen - and conglomerated under the name Students Against the Code (SAC). this event drew to the Diag people who had in common the one goal of dismissing the Code from the lives of students, Since the U-M Board of Regents approved this unnecessary and repressive policy in the fall of 1992, there has been occasional editorial opposition and negative talk. This April, however, students who could take no more revived the activism that had successfully blocked previous incarnations of the Code and let the administration know what they believe concerning this issue. Given all of the posters, handouts, and banners promoting the rally, students may have made their presence felt even before the actual rally. Around noon, though, students gathered on the Diag, shouting chants and distributing anti-Code signs. Members of different constituencies put aside their differences, forming an unprecedented alliance of varying opinions (Democrats, Republicans, communists, libertarians, etc.) to fight for a common goal.

Quietly Flows the Dean

Fear and learning - take an adventure of the mind in Ann Arbor.

from the Michigan Union and a sound the crowd made its way around the When enough students gathered, system greeted the marchers as they Chemistry Building and down South the crowd shifted to the steps of the stopped in front of Fleming, next to Graduate Library, where the Cube, to listen to more speakers. several speakers voiced 'The rain did not dampen the enthusiopinions against the Code. asm of the students, whose resonatAmong these speakers were ing shouts and chants were imposnewly~lected MSA Presisible for the administration to ignore. dent Flint Wainess, who Next came the "chant-in," Conspoke about his and the tinuing to yell ever more loudly, the MSA's role in fighting the rain-eoaked students then entered Code, and Ann Arbor lawthe Fleming Building and positioned yer Jonathan Rose, who themselves in the lobby. The discompared the U-M admingusted-looking workers and guards istration and its Code to a could not contain the crowd as it fascist police state. chanted, WWe want a regent!" As a Directly following this result of this strong appeal, U-M rally, the protesters began ~ T Ee. President James Duderstadt and the a march to the Fleming AdStudents march through the DIag In protest regents allowed 30 students to attend ministration Building the building in which the regenta meet University, chanting, "STOP THE CODE!" Anti-Code banners ~ung-'~ See CODE RALLY, page 16 Accompanied by a small police escort,

Civil Liberties Under Siege at U-M BY ANTHONY WEN

EW STUDENTS, TAKE note: Over the past academic year, significant events have occurred here that could affect your lives as University of Michigan students . Most of the furor has surrounded the infamous Statement of Student Rights and Responsibilities (SSRR), also known as the Code. 'The SSRR is the U-M's code of non-academic conduct, which the Board of Regents put into place in January of 1993 in response to a federal mandate requiring alcohol and sexual assault policies. Many argue that it is more of a statement of responsibilities than of rights. Essentially, the Code comprises the laws of the University of Michigan. You, as a U-M student, are accountable to federal, state, and local laws and ordi-

From Suite One

Though a fine institution, the University fails to meet a truly liberal standard.

nances, as well as to the Code, A quick reading of the Code reveals that nearly all the offenses that it covers are already included in existing governmental laws. Such offenses include harassment, assault, and a host of other common crimes. But the most appalling attributes of the Code are the violations of civil liberties, ranging from a prohibition of lawyer representation to closed hearings to double jeopardy. U-M students may face prosecution under the Code, and the court system may penalize them as well. In addition, even if acquitted or found not guilty in a court of law, a U-M student is still liable to the Code. One case in which this occurred involved Melanie Welch, a doctoral candidate, and Yaakov Lavie, a research fellow. Lavie accused Welch of assaulting him and his wife by spraying them with a water sprinkler. 'The

Electric Snapple Acid Test

Rfty cool and not-so-cool things to do in the cultural mecca of Ann Arbor.

case was brought to circuit court and dismissed because the court found reports by the U-M's Department of Public Safety (DPS) to be falsified. Even after this dismissal, the U-M processed the case under the Code; the reports were considered admissible evidence and Welch was found guilty of harassment and penalized with a letter of reprimand. There were numerous other inconsistencies in the Lavie vs. Welch hearing. The Code has a six month statute of limitations, but the hearing occurred well after this six month time period had expired. Lavie's wife was allowed to be both Lavie's advisor and his witness, which is prohibited under the Code. Possibly the most flagrant discrepancy was that the UM did not select the student jurors in See CIVIL LIBERTIES, page 16

Welcome to the Michigan Review Look inside for articles on campus life, city life. and the lJ-M's infamous Orientation! Get the low-down on Ann Arbor's art scene in Living Culture (pp. 17-19), and learn about the deterioration of civil liberties at the U-M - all in the Review.

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Summer 1995

THE MIClnOAN REVIEW

o SERPENT'S TOOTlt U-M football coach Gary Moeller has been given a leave of absence by the University after his drunken tirade in a Southfield restaurant. No word yet if Duderstadt used Regents' Bylaw 2.01. G. Gordon Liddy, a radio talk-ehow host, apologized for telling his audience to shoot federal agents in the head. Unfortunately for Mr. Liddy, the American people also have been told that all blathering radio talkshow extremists should be "kicked in the crotch really hard."

USA Today reports that May Day ralliers in Moscow, protesting the Yeltsin administration, were "nostalgic for the old Soviet Union." Send them to the People's Republic of UM; we're as close as it gets.

Aft.er tirading against anti-government sentiment in this country, President Bill Clinton called the Supreme Court's most recent ruling ridiculous

.I III :\ II ( .II J( i:\:\ RI路 \ II \\. The campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan 'One cannot comprorTise liberty.'

and vowed to fight it with all his energy. Guess your pledge to uphold the Constitution doesn't count anymore, eh Bill?

TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MAY WANT TO APPLY FOR A NEW ROOMMATE: 10. He bolTOWS your toothbrush while you are out of the room. Calls it "bonding." 9. Dom Deluise nude centerl'old over his desk. 8. Informs you that he may be bringing a farm animal home; if there is a sock on the door, don't come in. 7. Sleeps all day. On the floor. Naked. 6. Tells you that with the help of treatment, he no longer feels the urge to kill as strongly as before. 5. Urges fellow hallmates to shoot nosy RAs in the head. 4. Considers Quiot Riot the last geniuses of musical composition3. You come back to your room and h~ has your underwear on his head. When you question him, he calls you paranoid and vows revenge. 2. He loves the dorm food. 1. Two words: parachute pants!

This summer, Maureen Hartford says

she will be "joined at the hip with [Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) President] Flint Wainess" as theyattempt to write a new Code. Serpent's Tooth isn't a big MSA fan, but man, poor, poor, poor Flint. '!he May 1, 1995 issue oftheNatiorwl Review contains a supplement that reads, "How to Enjoy Yourself Without Guilt." With the strong Religious Right sentiment the magazine has taken, the supplement suggested activities like "Watch Forrest Gump, again," "Forre your neighbors to pray," and "Start your own radio show."

EDIT~F:

Junea A. Rober1I, H PUBlISHER: o.n BUDpouIol ARTS EDITOR: Gng ParkIN' MANAGING EDITOR: Mohln Krllhnan ASSOClATE PUBlISHER: BrIan .....cus ASSISTANT EDITOR: Gene Krua COPY EDITORS: Benjamin Kepple, Mlka Wang, Anthony Wen COMPUTER CONSULTANT: Mark Wilt

MUSIC EDITOR: Drew P芦era

FILM CRIT1C: Ryan Polly IllUSTRATOR: Brian O'Keere UTERARY CRITIC: BII Ahrena STAFF: o.vorah Adler, Chrll BarTlU,Geoff Brown, Jeff Gordon, Nallie Pwcel RodIen Rahblr, Meghan RookIe, Fiona Role, Uta Wagner

EDrTORS-A T-lARGE: ErIc Larson EDITOR EMERITUS: Nita JamIson PUBLISHER EMERITUS: Aaron SteeImIn

The IoIcNg8n RtviBw Is In ildependenl, Ij-weektf studelt-nln j<unaJ a classlcallileral and lbHtarian opinion at \he Universily a MchIgan. We neIhef solei nor ICC8ji IIXl!leIaly donations from the UnNersly 0/ MIchIgan, and have no respect fOf anyone 1ha1 does. CormibuIions to \he Mchigan Review are tax-<leduclable under SectIon 50 1 (c)(3) 0/ \he Internal ReYenue Code. We have no respect lor reactionaIy eXverrism il any 101m, nor lor tho8e who by to slence extremists. We do however, have Immense respect for Tony Dow. The.RMtw is nalllliated ~ II1Y ,. ""''' 1poIicaI party or unlversly pakIcaI group.

Well kids, that's all for Serpent's Tooth. Have fim at Indoctrinate ... er, Orientation, that is.

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o MEET THE ADMINISTRATION

by Greg Parker

These are U-M administrators. See them violate your civil liberties. Get to know them.

UnsIgned edtorIaIs represent \he opiion a \he ediorlal board. Ergo,1he'f are uneqltfocabtf COIT8Ct and just You neem' ~ to clsprOie \he logic thai went IrCo their formalion, for you cannot Signed aJ1lcIes and cartoons represent the opinions of \he aulhor and not neceSS81ily those 0/ the RevIew. The opinions presented 1\ this ~ cation lie not necessartt those a \he aavertisers or ct the Universly 0/ Michigan. W. welcome leiters and articles and encourage comments abOIJ \he jooolaI.

Please address aI ~Ion IlquiIes 10: Publisher, c/o the Afchigan R6VIetr. All advertising Inquiries should be dlreded to: PubIsher clo the Mch/gJln Review. EdIDriII And BUIiMII 0ItIcII: SuIIOne 811 N. UnIverIIty AYtnIll Ann Arbor. MI 48108-1265

Maureen Hartford Vice President for Student

President James Duderstadt: The Dude reigns supreme here in Ann Arbor. He likes the Code. He is a politico his actions are dictated by his political agenda, not by what is best for students and faculty.

EMAIL: MREV@umichAdu Tel (313) 662-1_ Fa (313) 83&-2505

Affairs:

She is responsible for the implementation of the Code. Hence, student civil liberties aren't high on her pricrity list.

DeparbnentofPublic Safety: This is the U-Ms very own deputized police force. Yes, it has weapons. It enforces the Code. Duderstadt maintains "health, diligence, and order" in the campus via these armed mercenaries.

More of the Dude.

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Thanks The Micihgan Review would like to thank Regent Deane Baker for expressing his concern with the editorial freedom of the Michigan Review and the Michigan Daily in the context of the Statement of Student Rights and Responsibilities. Thank you, Regent Baker.

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Summer 1995

THE MIClflGAN REVIEW

o QUIETLY FLows THE DEAN ~9

Welcome

the Playground

than a means of finding a well-paycoveries and realizations that send of them, even ifone faces a final or the ing job. Hence, studenta often take due date of a research paper the folchills down your back. very specialized cuniculums, deprivInside the classroom, the learnlowing morning. At high pressure ELCOME TO COLLEGE, ing themselves of a truly liberal edutimes like these, almost inevitably ing can be just as intense and rewardkid. Welcome to the world you will discover something else you r-----------------------------~ cation. where you may actually In a world in which educaabsolutely must do, like participate shiver with awe when a line ofpoetry tions have become marketable in a triple elimination SEGA tournain English 124 seems to shred your ment. Or else your Marxist roommate rommodities, some students esheart. Welcome to the world where sentially come to college and may draw you into a debate, in which the dancing lines ofSbakespeare, the you, as a greedy, grubby defender of learn a "white-a>llar trade." But ones that may have sounded awkto truly get a "higher" education, capitalism, will stay up all night arward and incomprehensible in high college studenta should dapple guing the merits of the free market. echool, suddenly become powerful tesFinally, you may face an emergency in politics, art, literature, scitamenta of human character. Welence, and history, and consider situation in which your roommate come to the world where the routine every new acquaintance a p0managed to get a case of Schlitz Ice equations and formulas become romtential friend. that you must absolutely finish that plex keys to the real world. In short, Despite the left's attempt very evening. It's all part of your eduwelcome to college, a place you have to restrict campus freedoms with cation, as is failing miserably the folchosen to go because you wanted to do codes and mandates, and the lowing morning. so. A place where learning is not an Integral to your university eduright's attempt to enforce the exercise in coercian, but a joy, a thrill, cation is maatering the exploding vaguely defined and often Purian exciting journey. tanical "Western Civilization world of romputer technology. VIa the . But for all the learning you will Internet, you will discover the pleaand 'Ib.ought," colleges still pro-do inside the Uniwrsity'alecture balla, sure of &-mailing your hallmate at '---_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _----1 mote some classical1iberal prin~ laba, and claearooms, there is a ciples. The respect ofindividual the adjoining computer station. You plethora ofleaming and experience A night in fraternity Land liberties, the promotion of tolerwill track down all the people to also for one to gain outaide ofclasses; perwhom you barely talked in high school ance, and the ability to think fre8ly is ing. Unfortunately, in a materialistic haps it ia this kind of learning that what open-minded students will gain and write them pag&-long letters, just world, the true mission of t.be Univermakes the University afMichipn and at the UM. Plus, it's pretty fun.and 80 your~ is full the nextmamsity seems obscured by students who the Ann Arbor area such a perfect stuf[ m ing. As a matter of fact, via confers, use their education as nothing more place to gain an education. -. ~-'''''>For example. )'OUI" ftrat weekend newsgroupa, and e-mail, you have here, you more than libly will take a aocees to a won.deIful world ofimperfield trip. 'l1lia field trip will take you sona! communication that replaces tn one of the Itz'angI8Bt darlt corners of human contact with cold and meanthe globe: your first frat party. Once ingless electronic conversations. you fight your way inside and show Locking yourselfin the dorms or your invitation, student ID, and passin computer lab, however, is no way to port, you will face a heaving multiexperience college. Therefore, you tude of young men in white ballcaps must do some actual field work. I am and J. Crew flannels drooling inceaspeaking of sitting in the Diag, playsantly over a smaller population of ing frisbee, and ogling at whichever girls who act dumber than they really type ofhuman beings you find attracare while parading around with bare The Michigan Review, the Campus Affairs Journal of tive (that's called being politically cormidriffiJ. You willleam the following rect). 'Ihis field worlt also includes the the University of Michigan, is the way to keep youron this magical night: one, "scoring" study of many Ann Arborite species, selves informed about bungling U-M administrators, is NOT as easy as it is in Rodney including the aging sandal-wearing infringements on student freedoms, and the Dangerfield movies; two, eight or nine hippie, the loud-mouthed Diag politicization of the academic arena. Every two weeks cans of lukewarm Milwaukee's Best preacher, and the wandering drunk will NOT settle for the night; and man. These Diag staples should teach the Review will keep you informed on the intellectual three, the DJ will not play anything you that (a) you really should be a and political atmosphere in Ann Arbor, with a special socialist, (b) you really are going to that does not go something like emphasis on classical liberal and libertarian opinion. "Whoomp BAMBOOM BABOOM hell, or (c) you really should take that For a tax-deductible contribution of just $25, you'll YOU MAKE ME WANNA SHOOP bottle of wine out of your roommate's receive thirteen stimulating issues, and keep tabs on Jeremy spoke in clasa today." Heck., hand and get him home. you may even. decide that you want to In all seriousness though, the your son's or daughter's education. be part of the Greek system. But then University of Michigan offers a reagain, you may have brought your markable collection of studenta and I Yes! I am enclosing a $25 tax-deductible contribution, and in I own personality to college. locals, everything from Christians to I exchange, like a good capitalist, I want thirteen issues of the I Outside of the social system, atheists, blathering Rush Limbaugh I I Michigan Review, including the 1996 Summer issue. there are even more things to leam.. Dittoheads to welfare-loving bleedIn your own dorm, you willleam. the ing heart. leftists. Here, you will arI I NAME' I . I much maJigned but highly technical gue, think, perhaps even change. art of waating time. In the dorms, Here, you will face hearthreak, anger; : ADDRESS: : learning opportunitiea arise at odd happiness, and failure. Here, you may times, and one must take advantage function on two hours of sleep, drink II CI1Y, ~ATE, ZIP: II more wine than the Gallo brothers, and gain 15 pounds. But aore than Detm BaAopouloB, ajunior in E"lIlish I Send to: Publi.her-Michigan Review, 911 N. University Ave., I and publ.UMr of the Review, might anything, if you stay open-minded L Suite One, Ann Arbor, Ml481~1266. ...J li1t.e ltChool GIittk too much. and spontaneous, you will make dis-

BY DEAN BAKOPOULOS

Parents: Stay on top.

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o FROM SUITE ONE

Summer 1995

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U-M Fails To Be Liberal

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SCHOOL WIDELY RESPECTED FOR ITS TRADITION OF excellence, the University of Michigan is among the most prestigious in8titutions of higher learning in the nation. It 8trives to provide students with a truly liberal education - one that will expose them to all major fields of study, allowing students to grow intellectually as they independently enter society. In regard to its curriculum and faculty, the U-M achieves this goal, 88 graduatea have received a quality education. Though articulate and interesting professors are essential to an esteemed university such a8 the U-M, a truly liberal education extends beyond the boundaries of a lecture hall. A liberal higher education must focus upon the intellectual and social development of the individual. A liberal institution must guide this development by pre8enting new topics, P08ing que8tions, and stimulating ideas; it must avoid any tendency to indoctrinate or exercise control over the minds and actions of students. In 8hort, liberal education must allow students to freely pumle their own intellectual development, aided only by the guidance of the respective institution. It is in this regard that the U-M fails to fully educate its students. Though it presents 8tudents with a quality curriculum and first-rate professors, the University has enacted a number of policies that overstep the proper role of a liberal institution, violating the civil liberties of students. Perhaps the most infamous of these policies is the Statement of Student Rights and Responsibilities (SSRR), commonly known as the Code. The center of campus debate for over a decade, the Code is the University'8 policy governing non-academic conduct. The very rationale for 8Uch a policy is that the U-M legitimately may exercise authority over the private lives ofits students - a rather dubious role for a liberal institution. Moreover, many provisions in the Code show a lack of respect for the civil liberties of students. Under the Code, for instance, the U-M may try a student for an offenae even $fter a criminal court has tried him., subjecting the student to double jeopardy. The Code hearings often are closed, allowing the U-M to act without the scrutiny of the student body or the public at large. Furthennore, one may not allow an attorney to verl>ally represent oneself at a hearing, while one may face conviction under "clear and convincing evidence'" instead of the long-standing "beyond a reasonable doubt" standard of American jurisprudence. These provisions violate the most fundamental civil liberties that the Constitution's Bill of Rights protects, making this policy an illegitimate one. The Diag Policy, officially known as the Policy for the Scheduled Use of the University of Michigan Designated Outdoor Common Areas, is also another unpopular initiative, for it too subjects students to the control of the U-M adrniniBtration~ Regardless onts intention, the Diag Policy limits free speech and protest on the center of campus by forcing groups to obtain permits. As the recent history of the U- M and other institutions indicates, protest and civil disobedience is a vital aspect of one's college experience. An environment of free speedl gives one the chance to explore the many nuances of social issues, adding to one'a higher learning. Thus, it is essential that a liberal university allow students to exercise protest freely. The Diag Policy, however, hinders this ability, depriving students of their civil liberties and a chance to consider differing viewpoints. The University's use of the Department of Public Safety (DPS) often violatea the rights of students as well. As its name suggests, the DPS is a means of ensuring some degree of safety on campus. Yet the U-M has used it for rather questionable purposes. Its involvement in the recent situation concerning Jake Baker is indicative of this. After discovering that Baker used the name of a female student in a grotesque and inappropriate story, U- M President James Duderstadt, acting on behalf of the University, used his authority under Regents' Bylaw 2.01 to suspend Baker. Duderstadt executed this declaration through the DPS, which placed Baker under ar:re$t after he left a class. Granted, there is no defense for Baker's immature behavior. Yet the sensationalism of this incident does not justify action on the part of the University, for Baker's story did not place the U-M or its student body in jeopardy. While it may have been ethical for Duderstadt, as an individual, to bring the story to the attention oftb.e named student, his action on behalf oftha University was illegitimate, and it violated Bakers right to due process under the law. A truly liberal university not only educates, it recognizes and respects the dvilliberties and. independent intellectual development of its students. While the Uniwnlty ~1d~bjga'9. .~~JQ8J;l>.', thinp ,9,~~ ~~" i~ (~ to meet this ; , ~--I ...--I,.I" ..,:1...~;.....:, ~-....: .... +iftft 'A'I".hi~ ~'1 ' '" • " . , ' w.o ' ,. " ~ ~"!P"!P~' ~ I>U..."... w... .r"'~ ~ iA.r.7"~i.i J..:ii ..&:_.. ..w.,J;~

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o COMMENTARY

Welcome to the Michigan Review

REETINGS, INCOMING STUDENTS I WELCOME TO THE Michigan Review, the campus affairs journal of the University of Michigan. An independent, biweekly journal of campus politics and culture, the Review consistently defends the rights of students, individual liberty, and free markets. It provides a forum for rational - as opposed to reactionary - political discourse. In 1981, a group of conservative students grew weary of the overwhelmingly leftist attitude on campus and founded the Review, which published its first is8Ue in December of 1982. Suppol"ted,by such national figures as William F. Buckley, Gerald Ford, and the late'Russel Kirk, the Revieu; became the voice of conservatiam and smaller government at the U-M. As it gained more readers and additional support, the Review grew from a sporadically-pro<iuced collection of articles to a regular, biweekly journal that has received national recognition in various circles. Originally, the Review's editorial stance, while dedicated to the principle of freedom, was unquestionably mainstream conservative, standing in contrast to the unbending leftist slant of the Michigan Daily. Over time, however, the Review modified its position to some degree, adopting a more libertarian stance. It continued its dedication to lai88ez faire capitaliam, a minimalist state, and wilimited freedom of expression. After reading the Serpent's Tooth column, though, one began to find more and more punches directed toward the right. Such is the position of the Revieu; today: It advocates individualiam and civil liberties, while opposing racism or any fonn of collectivism. The Review has distanced itself from both the left and. the right with its opposition to censorship, politicians, and taxation. The struggles addressed by the Review often transcend politics altogether. The best example of this is the Code fiasco that culminated in a rally this past April. Others involve issues of education, such as proposals for a core cuniculum and other necessary or unnecessary requirements. In general, when the administration wields its power in a flagrant and illegitimate manner, the Review is present to question or even condemn the action. The Review realizes that a liberal university must guide the education,al advancement of students, not control their personal lives. Some incoming students may have heard various rumors about the Review. The more common ones assert that the paper is a racist, Republican, National Review clone. Nothing could be further from the truth. The Review agrees with the National Review's support of smaller government, but it strongly disagrees on the amount of government that is ideally necessary. While some National Review editors and other conservatives believe that the war on drugs, censorship of pornography, and unbounded spending on national defense are necessary functions of government, the editors of the Review, generally speaking, do not. 'The Review's oocasionaljabs at the College Republicans indicate that the paper is independent of any political group on either the right or the left. The Review thrives on student activism and involvement. '!he best way to fight the politicization of education and the notion of an omnipotent state is to became involved with a group that stBnda fur freedom and personal responsibility. If~l.\ ~,~tere~ . 1rte;4 ~JC?~ ~~mNor nl .. ~~ 1P !.b\~ fisbt , ~~~.SW4en!B:.pghts, ~. ',,4-,. 'i_ !RWtj ~~" ~ .h "l"l',.. , . ,-.,.. " " ;, 1. ''' •• ' '.. ~ :-: ' , ' . -/f~:..K1uss JOUl ..\ {~j;~c ... ... " '-'T·t _ ... ., ... ,~'" " ~~ _;r-~~ lfj G .l., ' .'(0) ~ ,.~,... , ~, , :. " ~..:1'o.!\ i~ "".~)o . . . ~ ;,j.' ~;.,\ ~

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Summer 1995

THE MIcmGAN REvIEw

o THE ELECTRIC SNAPPLE ACID TEST

Lots of Stuff~:roDo in Ann Arbor ' BY

-Don't join the College Republicans. -Care about campus politics; care - Don't go to football games drunk. about your civil1.iberties. Protect your It's more fun sober, and you won't • Don't urinate in public, or you'll get a hefty ticket. anger the fans sitting around you. freedom. -Walk up to Duderstadt's house on - U-M hockey games are really cool. - Spin the cube in Regents' PIaza as Go to a few and learn all the neat fast 88 you can. Stand back and watch. South University. Pound on the door Get hit in the head. Feel like an ass. and demand to speak to him. Subsechants. Bring gloves. -If you can, play intramural sports. -Join the Michiga.n Review. quently post bail. -Join a ctvilliberties group like the -Watch a jazz show at the Bird of They're ftm, and a great way to alleviStudent Civil Liberties WatCh (SCLW) ate all that pent-up aggression after Paradise. and protect your civil rights. a hard night of calculus. Remember~ . it's only a game. Believe me, the administration sure won't do it for you. - Eat Pizza House's pizzas .a nd -Steal trays from your cafeteria chipatis. Chipatis are yummy - pita and go "tray sledding" in the bread with a salad inside it. ExpenArboretum, the parkjust behind sive but worth it. the Mary Markley donnitory. Go -Talk to your professors. Even in a at night, but watch out for trees. 500 person lecture, the professor is usually approachable and friendly. -Don't go to a frat ~. - Attend Hash Bash - the first • Attend perfoImances oflocal bands. These bands usually have more talSaturday in April at noon on the Diag - and protest for drug leent than you might imagine, and galization. Look out for those . they're enjoyable to watch. -Smile. Have fun. Be happy. Don't pesky non-students. Paint the rock. It's fun; It', cool. warTY about your grades. Sit back and - Go to the top of the Burton have fun. Many (read: most) of the Memorial Bell Tower and look around. • Don't go to Ricks. -Study in the canels of the Graduate important things you'llieam here take -Go urban mountain biking or Library. Get one on a high floor, and rollerblading. Jumping ClU'bs, the "M," place outside of class. We haven't entered the "real world" yet, so we have admire the view. Add to myriads of steps, etc. is really fun. Wear a helgraffiti you're bound to see on the to enjoy this "fantasyland" while we met, and expect passers--by to laugh can. See you arounc;l campus. Mt heater. as you fall. -. -~ - WatCh people get really upset when you print 150 ·copies of a document at a campus computing center. - Go to a coffee shop and engage in "pseudo-intellectual" conversation. You know what I mean by this. Wear a black. twtleneck and a black. beret. Goatee's optional. -Ride you bike down the Graduate Library steps. Fall and let everyone on the Diag laugh at you. -Get lost in the stacks in the Graduate Library. -Stay away from the Diag on nice, . sunny days. Go the the Law School Courtyard. It's quieter and not chock.full oflosers. -Go to North Campus and witness the peril of those who live there. -Start a food fight in your respective cafeteria. -Step on the "M." It represents the oppressive University administration Trounce on. the "M." -Study in the Law Library. Holy Gothic style architecture, Batman. • I -Go to Casa Dominick's and plan the For a tax-deductible contribution of $25 or more, you will receive a one-year next revolution. Or just grab pizza I. subscription which includes 13 bi-weekly issues and the 1996 Summer Orientation and a beer. Issue. - Eat a Blimpy Burger. But do it the .Please send my subsaiption to: right way: quint (five patties) with • Name: ~,~eddar,mayo,~tsup,m~, I ------------------------------------------lettuce, tomato, and extra pickles. Oh • Address: yeah., an order ofonianringB. Mmmm • ---------------------• Wander around downtown Ann Ar- I City: State: Zip: _ _ _ ___ ber, around Main Street or Kerrytown. • Please make checlc or money order payable to: Watch the yuppies. I THE MlCHIGAN REVIEW

GREG PARKER

HERE'S A LOT OF &rUFF to do in Ann Arbor. The city's unique amalgamation of idealUrtB,pollticos, psyChos,p88udo-in. tellectua1s, students, professors, and quinteaaential Ann Arbaritee lends to the fact that there is such a diverse range of activities in the city. What. ever your ideology, whatever your creed, whatever your morals (or lack thereot), there's something in Ann Arbor, the cultural mecca of Southeastern Michigan, for you. I grew up around Ann Arbor, so when I came to the U-M, I had a pretty good grasp on the neat thinga to do in the community. But since many of you aren't from these parts, I decided to assemble a list of "essential.. activities. Of course, you don't have to do all this stuff, but I'll say this: taking part in any of the following activities will enhance, broaden, and enlighten your experience at the U-M. Oh yeah, this stuffis fun too. .On the last day of winter term classes, run the Naked Mile, naked. ·Or, watch the Naked Mile, clo~ed. • Paint "'the rock" at the comer ofHill and Washtenaw really early in the morning. -Take part in a campus protest. -Take part in a campus protest, and occupy the Fleming Adm.inistra tion Building. Get invited into the regents' meeting. -Give President Duderstadt a piece of your mind. -Give any administrator a piece of your mind, especially Vice President for Student Affairs Maureen Hart. ford and Judicial Advisor Mary Lou Antieau. Tell them yoq actually lilt.e civil liberties. -00 see your student government in action; attend a Michigan Student Assembly (MBA) meeting, held every 'IUeedayat 7:00 PM in the MBA Chambers, third floor, Michigan Union. After, tell them what you think. Believe it or not, some actually care. - Run fur student government. Get 88 many friends to come out and vote for you. Wm. - Run for student government. Campaign around campus on "issues." Lose. -Write a letter to the Daily about religion, abortion, or Republicans. Everybody else does . • Pull down the goalposts after a big Michigan win. - Build a shanty on the Diag.

For only pennies a day, you can support your Greenpeace brethren as they ravage honest Pacific Northwest fishermen ... or you can subscribe to The Michigan Review. Enjoy the Review while munching happily on a tuna sandwich. Join us as we fight for liberty, individual rights, and tasty canned tuna.

G,.. Pa.rlMr ;.. the CJT'U editor of the Revie~, Hi. column, the Electric ~Sna.y,)~ Acid Tnt, a.ppeat'8 replarly.

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THE MIcmGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS AFFAIRS

Summer 1995

The Code's Reign of Terror BY GENE

KRASS

T IS REALLY SURPRISING that at the University of Michigan, a campus once known as "'Little BerkeleY' because ofits politically charged atmosphere, 80 few students are familiar with the Statement of Student Rights and Responllibilities, better known as the Code. Many simply have never heard ofit, while others have ignored the numerous Miehigall Daily and Michigan Review articles and editorials that have appeared in print over the past several years. Most merely dismiaa it as lOme abstract policy that does not apply to them.. '!he Code is essentially a policy that govema non-ilcademic conduct. '!he U-M Board of Regents enacted the policy nearly three years ago, and the administration baa used the Code to its every advantage to silence "'troublesome" students - those who do not agree with the administration. Thia policy does not allow accused students to have an attorney verbally represent them at hearings. ita scope extends well beyond the boundaries

of campus, and the University coaches its handpicked judicial panelists into delivering guilty verdicts. In April of 1982, Dan Sharphorn and a group of other University lawyers and administrators attended the last meeting of the now defunct Civil Liberties Board. They told the board that with or without its approval they were going to enact a code of nonacademic conduct; if the board did approve, it would have an opportunity to "fine tune" the proposal a bit. 'l1lis minor provision was a tactic the adminisb:ators used to make the board feel comfortable with a code, for the administration essentially had c0erced the board into granting its approval. Moreover, the ad:m.inistl'ators told the board that it had until the end of the meeting - the last one of the school year - to reach a decision. "I remember this was a practice undertaken by the salespeople of Great Books of the Western World, who were trained to tell the customer that they can't think about it overnight," Ann Arbor lawyer Jonathan Rose said in reference to the board's predicament in 1982. Ofcourse, given

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such short notice and little choice, the board had to accept. The administrators then went to the Michigan Student Assembly (MSA), whose approval

carpet of student apathy welcomed the Code that, with a few minor changes, is the one in place today. The implementation of the Code they needed in accordance with a in 1992 did not yet signal a complete victory for the administration. Since Regents' Bylaw, to enact a non-academic code. They told the M&A. which that time, it has remained in constant also was opposed to a code, that the interim. status. There have been a few changes to the 1992 version, most Civil Liberties Board had approved one - a rather dubious assertion. notably the shortening of the radius Around this time, Rose suggested of the scope ofits jurisdiction from 50 to Andrew Boyd, a student activist, to to 80 miles off campus - thereby gather students together to fight the sparing Canada the possibility of UCode. Boyd and Eric Schnaufer farmed M Department of Public Safety (DPS) a group called NO CODE, which thugs harassing its visitors. Other spread anti-Code propaganda around. changes were even. more minor. What campus from 1988 to 1985. NO CODE is significant is that these small also spoke against the Code and parchanges were a way of keeping the ticipated in a number of debates Code interim, which is most likely against the administration, which, due to those occasional remnants of despite its hiring of a debate coach, activism still present at "Little Beralways lost to the students. In one of keley." The one-tim.e publication enthese debates, which was held in a titled Michigan Voices, sent to stupacked Rackham Auditorium, dents in the winter of 1998, was a Schnaufer alone soundly defeated blatant effort by the administration seven administrators in front of an to defend the newly-implemented audience of 500 students invited by Code, and probably only hurt the the University. '!he administration's University's cause. main argument was that the Code . In the fall of 1994, the public rewas necessary to ensure safety pn ·"""'ooived an opportunity to see the Code campus, an argument that the public in action. The U-M charged Melanie did not buy, as there already exists a Welch, a doctoral student, with hapolice force in Ann Arbor to handle rassment and assault. Even though crime. The famous Bursley murders her case was thrown out of criminal and the arsonist who burned down court because offalsified DPS reports, the old economics building, for exJudicial Advisor Mary Lou Antieau ample, were handled effectively withand Vice President for Student Mout any type of Code. According to fairs Maureen Hartford decided to Rose,manytotalitarianregimeshave pursue the case anyway. Somehow, used the argument that tougher poliWelch managed to receive an open cies are necessary for safety. While hearing - the first one to date - and most people would not go so far as to even though fewer people attended compare the U-M to the Third Reich, than one would expect, the biased •they nevertheless agreed with NO proceedings did not escape the pages CODE that there simply was no need of various campus publications. This for a policy to govern that which the led to members of several student city already governed. groups - such as the MBA, the MichiThere seemed to be nothing the gan Review, the National Women's University could do or say to sway Rights Organizing Coalition public opinion to its position, so it let (NWROC), the College Democrats, the the issue lie dormant for a few years. College Republicans, and others Over time, those involved in the fight putting aside their many differences against the Code graduated, as did and concentrating on fighting the the 500 students at the Rackham. deCode. As Students Against the Code bate and everyone else who rallied to (SAC), these activists organized a rally stop the Code. In 1988, the administo protest the administration's policy. tration increased its efforts to pass The rally, by most accounts, was the Code - including a speech. code a success. The Code will remain inthat a federal court declared unconterim for the time being, and during stitutional - meeting leaa and }eaa the summer the U-M administration resistance each year. Finally, in 1992, will meet with student leaders to draft the Board of Regents, split between a revised code. At this time, the Unifour Democrats and four Republicans varsity only needs a drug and alcohol and generally out of touch with the policy and a policy on sexual assault student body, gave University Presito receive federal funding. Anything dent James Duderstadt and his croelse is superfluous. Acrording to Rose, nies the green light to circumvent the the most important anti-Cod.e weapon COnstitution of United States and . is student activism, WtJt.hebeet Code, tocul'talHrtudent.S' ftoeedbIns. ,~'i'ed hOifeV.rliIJ.1ttf:09(le at till."'Ml8J' r ,

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Summer 1995

THE MIClllGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS POLITICS Libertines, Marxists, and the GOP: Oh My! servative Midwest. But if "liberal" is taken to mean 1.eftr.-oH:enter or highly NN ARBOR IS THE WAlrDemocratic as far as politics are conMart ofpolitical groups: If you cerned, Ann Arbor really doesn't fit want it. it's got it - wrually into this mold. The current mayor of dozens. The city long has been known the city is a Republican, and many as an ideological hotbed, with Stuconsider the University administradenta for a Democratic Society (SDS) tion to be rather conservative. More protests in the 1960s, Black Action accurately, Ann Arbor is politically Movements (BAM), and anti-Vietnam middle-of-the-road, with a tendency demonstrations. While the current to be Democratic. state of campus activism in Ann Arbor The reason many people think does not compare to that of the '60s Ann Arbor is so politically liberal is and "708 (when studenta would throw because it is known for its more radiobjects at profeseon with which they cal groups from both sides of the disagreed), a recent survey ranked political spectrum. While these the U-M aecond to only the Univergroups represent only a small minorsity of California at Berkeley in the ity of the community, many outsiden level of campus activism. nevertheless identify these groups with Ann Arbor. Groups like SPARK Political groups are the source of (a Trotskyist group), NWROC, and much aampus activism. For example, the National Women's Rights Orgathe Young Socialists represent the nizing Coalition (NWROC) recently far left wing, while groups like the organized a "Worker's 'liibunal" conAnn Arbor Libertarian League and cerning the di8lDiaaal of tile "Dental the U-M Students of Objectivism Sd:wol3," three individuals who claim (though more philosOphical than p0the University fired them on the basis litical) round out the far right wing. These groups do not have extraordiof their race. NWROC supported the "Dental School 3," held its own trial narily high membenhips, but they (the "Workers' Tribunal"), and found are Bti1l an influence on campus. Their the Univeraity guilty of'1ns1itutionhigh publicity efforts and voca11eadalized racism."NWROC has since held en attract much attention, and it is a protest condemning the U-M for for this reason that Ann Arbor is this "verdict." "known" for these groups. Another politiaU group that oomes More moderate groups like the to mind is the Coalition Against the College Republicans and College Contract "On" America (CACOA). Qb.. Democrats appeal to more people and viously, this group opposes the thus attract more members. Both Republicans' "Contract With groups take an active role during elections, promoting their respective canAmerica"; its protest drew a couple hundred people. didates, and both groups bring "big More recently, a group called Stuname" speakers to campus. In addidents Against the Code (SAC) orgation, the College Republicans love to muster controversy with pointless pr0nized a protest in opposition to the Univenity's code of non-academic paganda ("Want to cure AIDS? Try conduct, the Statemorality" typifies ment of Student Jijghts their contribution to and Responsibilities, intellectual debate on otherwise known as campus), and the Colthe Code. SAC, a~ lege Oems engaged in tion of groups from all a maSBletter writing across the political movement protesting spectrum, started ita the GOP's proposed protest on the Diag and PoItIcIIIhanties of yest.-yeer student aid cuta. marched to Regents' since binned ' Partisan politics Plaza (by the Cube). exist even in student The 200 protesters then occupied the government elections at the U-M. '!be Fleming Administration Building, Students' Party and the Michigan and engaged in a sit-in reminjscent Party form a dichotomy similar to of a bygone era. that of the Democrats and RepubliThe amount of activism gives cans. The Michigan Party, traditionmany people the idea that Ann Arbor ally more conservative, holds a pluis a liberal community; indeed, some rality of seata on the Michigan Stulabel it the "People's Republic of Ann dent Assembly (MSA), including all Arbor." 'Ibis is true, to a certain exthe executive seats. The Students' Party is generally a more progressive tent. If"'liberal" means tolerant, Ann party, and it cummtly holds the miArbor is one of the more liberal com't.i8e:.... ... ____ -.1 .. • mUlU v . . . ...J>!'"~~ , .

protecting civil liberties. In any event, there's a group for everyone in Ann Arbor. Besides the aforementioned groups, there is a semiannual labor conference, a group opposed to Proposition 187 (it caused quite a stir when the author of the proposal spoke on campus), and the ; i Ann Arbor Tenants Union (AATU). The AATU, while clajmingto be apolitical, almost always is involved in an annual funding controveny with the highly political MBA The AATU is not alone, however, as for any student group, political and non-political alike, that wants to receive funding from the MSA must petition for the money. As always, where there's money there's politics. So regardless of what group you .The SAC Code Protest join, regardleSB of your personal popolitical life, unified for the apolitical litical background, you're bound to cause of abolishing the Code. 'The Stuget involved in campus politics in one dent Civil Liberties Watch (SCLW) way or another, whether you like it or also falls into the category of nonnot. My suggestion is to be politically active, and exercise your constitupolitical. 'The SCLW recently received an American Civil Liberties Union tional righta. 'The diversity ofpolitica, (ACLU) affiliation, making it the camalong with the diversity of culture, is pus chapter of the ACLU, eo to speak. what makes this a rather tolerant 'Ihls group has the apolitical goal o~_ ...campus. Let's keep .it that way. .Ml .

composed of Michigan Party and Students' Party members, and it is becoming difficult to win as an independent or a third party candidate. For you non-politicos, there are a few apolitical groups on campus as well. The aforementioned SAC is a coalition representing all walks of

BY GREG PARKER

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RUSH ~ m;3a. «bt :fIlitfJilan lUbitw. enjo, frimbsbip anb kaminl in an atmospbtrt of probm txttlltItU.

tUus, !'OU Won't babt te tfJrow up, titan tbt hatbrooms, anb IDear sm, lJaU. Join the Michigan Review. We need photographers, investigative journalists, writers, illustrators, and business staff. Come to our mass meeting on Sunday, September, 17, 1995 at 7pm in the Koessler Room of the Michigan League.

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o INTRODUCTORY CLASSES

THE MIcmGAN REVIEW

Summer 1995

The Top Intrgductory Classes COMPILED BY THE

RzvIIlw STAFF

OLLEGE WAS THE best four years ofmy life." 'Ihis saying, commonly overheard in most conversations around the time ofhigh ecboo1. graduation, usually is followed by a parental warning about keeping academics straight while having such a great time at school. After all, this is why you have come to the University of Miclrlgan. 'This fine institutm. in constant pUl'BUit of academic excellence, is one of the top educational universities in the nation. Despite the exceptional reputation of the U-M, the size ofthia insti路 tution often intimidates many incoming studente. Many students feel a great deal of apprehension while registering for c1ueee (CRISPing: Computer Registration Involving Student Participation), for the list of offered COUI'8e8 appean to be endless Yet the University doee offer some velY interesting cluaee, and if you chooee them carefully, your experience at the U-M will be 1888 inUmidating and more rewarding. We at the Review would like to offer our selections of the top classes on campus to help all incoming students enjoy their next four years thoroughly. Astronomy 101ll11-Introduc-tory Astronomy: Stars, Galuies, and the Universe: The 101 section of this class requires a one hour discussion section, while the 111 section substitutes a two hour laboratory section for the discussion. This class, while it is enjoyable, is probably not what many of you expect; there are no trips to the planetarium for 101 studente, while 111 students may get to go only a few times. The class is instead very phyaica oriented with many problem sets. Don't be scared off though, while perhaps not what it sounds, 1011111 iS,extremely interesting and well worth your time. Atmospheric, Oeeanic, and Space Sciences 202 - The Atmosphere: This course gives an overview of the com.poaitionand behavior of the atmosphere and the various phenomena known as weather. It is . intended for non-AOSS concentnltora and does not require advanced math or ac::i.ence aptitude. As an added bonus. it fulfills part of the natural science distribution requirement. ChemJetry 210 -Structure and Reaetlvlty I: This course introduces students to the buies oforganic chemistry, training them to think analytically and to achieve a true understanding of the ~~ ~ co~ is among the most difticult ~ aD intro-

ductory courses, so those who are not years winner of the Golden Apple behind the law. One will scrutinize strong in the ec:ientific fields may want award for the best lecturer on camlaws in this class, asking whether or to tbink. twire befure selecting it When pus. As if that wasn't enough, the not the laws are just. Taught previtaught by fOImer Golden Apple winclass focuses on the social aspect of ously by Elizabeth Anderson, this ner Brian Coppola, however, this class wars. It anawera the questions about class is the perfect course for those is quite rewarding. Coppola provides the affect of war on those left behind who are thinking about pursuing a clear and interesting excareer in law. planations of the material, Political Science 101 - Intro路 challenging students to see duction to Political Theory: This the "Big Picture." course gives an overview of the politiClassic Civilization cal thoughts of thinkers from the 101-1be Ancient Greek Greeks (Sophocles, Plato, etc.) to the World: 'Ibis COW'8e covers Enlightenment philosophers (Locke, the major works of the Rousseau, etc.). The best aspect of Ancient Greeks. 'The plays, this course is that students will read poems. and other writings some of the most famous works in fOIm the basis of Western political theory. In addition, the prothought and civilization. fessor, Don Herzog, has a unique lecCommunication 202 turing style that makes the class quite - Freedom of Expresinteresting. sion: 'Ihis course, taught Political Science 111 -introby Joan Lowenstein, production to American PoUtics: CovSome cIassee are compelling; others aren't videa valuable insight into ering both the theoretical and practithe history of the First Amendment as well as dealing with how war has cal aspects of American government. and the laws that shape the right to changed over the years. this course provides a good overview free expression. This would be an exHistory of Art 102 - Western of the American political system. It cellent course for those thinking about Art from the End of the Middle presente students with the philoeophilaw school. as it focuses on specific Ages to the Present: This course cal underpinnings of the American Supreme Court casea that have deprovides students with a knowledge system, and shows how this system fined the relationship between law of contemporary art and major art~s evolved into todays government ists. Slide lectures and print repro- """ 'It is a good foundation if you plan to and communication. duction illustrate important works major in political ec:ience or if you just Communication 400 - The with which all culturally literate want to gain a little more insight into Media in American History: There the American political process. people should be familiar. are not too many 400 level classes Linguistics 211- Introduction Political Science 160 - Introthat have no prerequisites, yet Comto Language: 'This course, taught in duction to World Politics: This munication 4QO is one. Professor Jon a tag team style by Professors Milroy course provides a thorough introducStevens, while a bit dry, is an expert and Cooper, gives a great start to tion to world politics and internain media history and provides sound anyone wishing to pursue a Unguistional relations. It discusses the theoanalysis of how the American media tics major. In addition, the lectures retical aspects of world politics and has changed over the last 400 years. are extremely interesting and enjoyapplies this theory to historical case 'llris, along with Communication 202, studies. It is a good course to take if able, as they provide insight into the is one of the few Communication power of the language to oppress or you want a general backgrowul in the clasaes from which one will gain much. express. workings of the world's political maEconomics 101- Principles of Mathematics 116, 116, 216 chinery. Economics: 'Ihis course examines Calculus I, II, and III: The introStatistics 402 - Introduction microeconomics - how prices and ductory calculus series is required for to Statistics and Data Analysis: quantities of goods and services are all math, physics, and chemistry conVrrtually all social science disciplines determined. It provides a good backcentrators as well as all students in require some knowledge of statistics ground into the dynamics behind the the College of Engineering. Even if and many, such as psychology and modem economy. you don't plan to study one of these political science, allow one to use StaEnglish 223 - Creative Writsubjects, calculus would be a worthtistics 402 as part of a concentration ing: Think you might be a writer? while course seIection to develop quanprogram. This course deals with sevThis is the place to find out. Usually titative thinking and gain a basic math eral techniques for examining data taught by U-M graduate students, background. and requires only a math background these small courses give students an Music History 341- Introduc-ofhigh school algebra. introduction to the craft of literary tion to the Art ofMuslc: 'This rourae University Courses 160, 161, creation. Courses range from fiction is for nOD-music majora only and one 152 - First-year humanities, soto poetry to drama, and each section may use it to fulfill part of the hucialscience, and natural science is slightly different, so check the Enmanities distribution requirement. Its seminars: These courses (see apeglish Composition office on the fifth focus is on the history of Western ci.fic descriptions in the course guide) floor of Angell Hall for specific demusic from the Baroque Era to the provide first-year students with a scriptions. Regardless of what section present day. Professor Steven Whitwonderful opportunity to study in a you take, you can be certain you will ing is a very infonnative and interestsmall class with an established proreceive individual attention and have ing lecturer who exhibits a unique fessor. These courses are almost ala lot of fun. passion for the material. ways compelling and enjoyable, and History 366 - Twentieth路CenPhilosophy 359 - Law and are a good way to ease into the rigortury American Wars as Social and Philosophy: 'Ibi,s oourse provid,ea an ous academic life attlle U-M. Personal Experience: 1hi.a oourse excellent o\rehriew 6fth~路 phi'lb~i>hy ' - ' . Hap'i>Y ClUSPlD:gl m is taught by Professor Collier, this

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Please fill out the above form and mall or drop It off wtth a $25 non-reMdabie check or money order (applied to the pr1ce of you books) to Ulrich's Bookstore PO BOX 8tlJ7 549 E. University Ann Arbor, MI48107-8t1J7. Your books will be held for you until Tuesday, September 5, 1995. Our deadline for accepting book reservat10ns Is August 30, 1995. Please have your CRISP (reglstrat1on) form ready when order1ng texts.

Call 1-800-288 5497 or Fax at 1-313-662-7859 Now accepting the M Card

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Summer 1995

o ORIENTATION

Tips & BY BENJAMIN KEPPLE

s INCOMING FRESHMEN,

you have all made it to the wonderful Ivory Tower of Higher Education. To help acquaint you with Univenity life, the U-M has decided for you, and without your consent, that)'OU WllJ... attand Orientation for three days sometime this summer. The University enjoys making lots of deciai01l8 for you and without your consent, as you will soon learn. So, having been through this experience that has good and bad points as all thinpdoy.l tb9.,ught I would give you some advance about how you might fare and what you will do while here. To be honest, I don't know what the U-M plans for this years Orientation, so my writings are baaed on my experiences from last year. Fi.rst, there are a couple of pI'&Orientation thingB ofwhich you must be aware: Check your hap before you leave. On my first day of Orientation, I was getting dressed in my hotel room and I noticed with alarm that all of my shirts were not in my oVernight bag. What had happened was that my dear mother had put the shirts I had on top ofthe bag back. in the closet and the next morning I picked up the bag thinking that they were in there. You can avoid a potentially embarrassing situation caused when you have to explain to your Orientation roommate why you haveno shirts. Bring aU necessary papers with you. Just keep them in a big folder in your room if you want, but I found this helped me when I needed or wanted certain University-related paper X for informative reasons. 'Ibis also helps if you want to try to find your way around campus, or you need the paper for academic purposes. After you have anived at Orientation, you will stand in line to check in. Get used to standing in lines. There are thousands of students here - and about as many forms - and there is always a line for something. You will be shuffled in lines to get fonns, to get your ID card and uniqname, and then to stand in more lines. Later in the day, you will discover the fun of donn food, after you stand in line. Food: Last year orientation was held in East Quad, so I assume that it is there this year as well. Now I have to get one thing across: East Quad food U1 horrible, and I will never eat

notJ.& .

Ben Kepple U1 a copy editor for the Review . He attended Orientation aga.in tim YecmjlUlto(OrkidS'. " . ,

Tric~~

For Orientation

there again. You will be served three the subject in debate was a rather on the placement exam, because an meals a day during Orientation, sometrivial thing. It seemed to me, howadvisor can allow you access to a class thing that in all reality you will not in which you 1cnow you belong but the ever, that many of these exercises, eat come fall term in the dorms. Most while certainly well meaning, instead placement exam says no. '!he acalikely, you will eat one of three choice put most people on the defensive and demic advisor also will help see if any food groups: protein, carbohydrates, of your classes are open via computer. created hostility instead of underThis is a good reason to go to the and "what the devil is on the dessert standing. tray?" for meals. Don't worry, , . . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - , earliest orientation possible, bethough, because if you, for some cause all of the students who have reason, eat healthy and want (ugh) plowed through beforehand have alsomething green, that most cerready registered for the cla88es you tainly will be provided as well, want, as I found out at Orientation when I wanted to take English 124. even. though it too will be horrible. All of the sections were already closed Taco Bell is less than a block away, and I took English 125 instead (the however, so salvation awaits. Introductory Composition requireUvlng Space: You will get to ment). live in ~ actual dorm.. Not only When the advisor scrolls down that, you willgettoliye with an the screen, the first few screens of a~ roo~ate. In the fan~you , Aetudent listens during. diversity l81l1I1181'. sections will say CLOSED on them. can live Wlth a permanent room'!hat is because as freshmen you are mate and both of you will eventually During tb.elast meetillg of Orienlast on the seniority list for registergrow so tired of each other that you tation, one of the leaders mentioned ing and the upperclassmen chose the will openly curse your roommate to diversity and every Bingle person good courSes first. But as you gain his face, but I digress. I know people groaned - rather indicative of how much people enjoyed these programs. credits, you can feel smug too because who lived in doubles and converted you will be doing the same thing to A group groan of about 200 was rather doubles in East Quad during orientaimpressive. freshmen, and so on. tion. A double is a cramped but comSehedullng/Advlslng: While Meeting People: Hopefully, you fortable 12 feet by 12 feet space for you are here at the University, you will be able to meet at least a few two people. A converted double is rewill spend a significant amount ~( ...~ people at Orientation that you will ally a single with a bunk bed. Avoid a converted double in the fall if you can. time choosing classee and working on know entering the school year. When After living in one, I know that they schedules. You also will meet with an you've been here for three days and academic advisor, and at some point ~t parties are starting to feel m.eanare very cramped and resemble large ingless, cpllege will seem better if you walk-in closets. take placement exams to determine already haw developed lasting mendResident Group Leaders: how much you know about math, sciships. Since,everyone feels alone and When you arrive, you will be grouped ence, and language. somewhat nervous at Orientation into sections, each headed by a group Academic advisors are usually unless you and your friends ALL go leader who will live in the same hall quite helpful; my own certainly was. here and sign up for the same orientain which you will live. '!he group leadThis is what I found to be the most tion en masse, this can help pass by ers will wake you up at the ungodly positive aspect of Orientation: schedthe time and it makes for decent conhour of Too Early (usually anywhere uling and the advice given, which in versation. I am still in touch with from 7 to 8), and usually lead your fact helped me make a couple of remany of the people that I met at group in most of the activities. They warding choices. You can receive adOrientation. run by schedules, which can be somevice from people who have taken the But overall, the Orientation prowhat tedious. "OK, dammit, shut up courses or are majoring in certain gram is not so bad and it does introand listen. Free time is from 7:15 fields, helping you to make good deciduce students to the University of to .. . oh 10:45 and then we are going sions concerning questions like "What Michigan. Youll walk away with a to Have Some Fun by getting you is Communication 666 like?" schedule (whether you like it is anhooked on discounted Cottage Inn When you first meet your acaother question), an idea of what Ann demic advisor (you will be given an pizza, and your order fonns must be Arbor is like if you don't live here, and arbitrary appointment and advisor), in by 8pml!" that this place really is not so bad he will consider your placement scores No, moron, think this way! 'The after all. Oh, and as for one more and tell you what level of classes are University prides itself on involving thing about this place they won't tell most appropriate. Here is a good time inroming students in a multicultural! you about in Orientation: The Code to bargain and beg if you did not get diversity program at Orientation 'This into a certain class or you did honibly sucks. m usually lasts for about two to four hours, and you will learn the value of At the regents' meeting on April 21, Regent Philip Power said being sensitive and caring to basically everyone and that no one's feelthat "there will be a Code" - whether students like it or not. ings should ever be hurt. Your intelPresident James Duderstadt echoed this same sentiment to lectual handout will consist of videos , the press. talks, and group exercises. The thing about it is that most of theae programs "Whether we like it or not" - that sounds like something our Bquelch individuality. In one of the "multicultural" exercises, I rememparents used to say. ber that one fellow participant attacked my opinion, deciding on the The Michigan Review is always glad to see the administration basis of a few sentences I was the ,.iStW+>JldJl&..Yith.t)1~. Si~P~At~. ,. ' ! ~ , . ~ \ . '.. , . , \, " .. . . ' , " " AhtiChrl.et>'J.'o inak.e' Itiatten wo~;.

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Summer 1995

THE MIcmGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS LIFE

Life Ip the Dorms >;. ,::,.\.~:

BY BILL .AHRENs

OR ANYONE COMING TO the University ofMicbigan for

the first time. the most pro-

found experience, no doubt, is adjusting to life in the residence balla. Many

students foresee dorm life as their first chan~ to experience total freedom, separated from their parents and siblinp. InmmiDg students tend to see themselves forging forth into the world on their own. In truth, as a good friend of mine once said. "College is just like high school. except you live there.It Nowhere is this more true than in the dorms. When moving into your dormitory,look around. Look at the strange people with whom you will share the hall. Life will be a great deal easier if you simply come to accept that these people will beoome your friends during the next year. whether you like it or not. '1lle moat CODlDlon bonding e:x:pe-

rience for new hallmates is finding new and exciting ways to avoid studying. My advice to you is to brush up on your SEGA skills and euchre playing. Another thing that brings hallmates together is contempt for the resident advisor, or RA. In reality, he is kind of like your mother. Generally, hell only come around to tell you to tum your music down and to disCourage all forms offun imaginable. He also might coordinate activities, but don't count on it. Speaking from experience, your precious hall dues probably will get you just a $30 t-ebirt that says something like, "I'm having a good time in Michigan House.It The rooms themselves are, for the most part, quite small. When you arrive, your room will be in<2'6dibly harreno It might even remind you of a crime scene, minus the chalk outlines. Despite this unpleasant scene, do not despair. Eventually, as you add aupet, throw some lofts together, and put up your Bob Marley posters,

the room will discourage all forms of studying. Youlllove your room so much that you will never want to leave, and heading off to an hour of Introductory Composition is no real incentive. Take heed, though. The year will go well if you can lDanag~rto get along with your roommate, someone with whom you will endure a lovelhate relationship throughout the oourse of the year. You occasionally might enjoy his oompany, but your friendship will be seriously tested at two o'clock in the morning when. you trying to sleep and he is watdring Night Court. Whatever you do, however, never sell out and move into a single. That is blasphemy! Every evening, the dining hall serves a wide assortment of entr6es that cater to many different tastes, but each of which is guaranteed to be palatable to no one. By the end of the year, you will be amazed what those who prepare meals can actually do to

are

Computing On CamP"!-ls . . .' .,.' ,. .

going to become addicted to &-mail. ers may come a-knocking at., yo~ Trust us. The easiest e-mail program dorm room door. ACK IN mGH SCHOOL, to use is Pine, a menu-based program Another feature of the Internet is the only people who ll8ed. com(translation: just select oommands off the Ueenet newagroups. You may have puters were those geeks with the menus). One may use e-mail to heard of these, especially if you've pocket protectors and taped.glaaseB. send personal messages to people been following the recent Jake Baker worldwide. Youll probably use it to debacle. Newsgroups are forums in Well, you're in college now and everyone has to use romputera.Ifyou are correspond with friends from high which people all over the world disan engineer. be prepared for long school that attend other oolleges. 'Then. cuss topics ranging from TV shows to nights oompiling a FORTRAN proyoull make friends here and you'll politics to the latest mating habits of gram that won't work. If you're in stop writingtn your old friends. 'lhey1l the orange orangutan. You may use stop writing to you too. Unforbmate1y, tin, trn, Nuntius, Trumpet, and other LSA, get ready to stay up for days writing a massive term paper only to your new friends will start forwardprograms to acce88 news groups. You find that you can't print it out because ing long stories which you won't have are able to add articles to these groups, some engineer haa jammed the the time or the desire to read. printer. If you haven't done so alWhere can you find a computer ready, you'll get to pick a when you need one? Most incoming uniqname, which will be your students live in one of the U-M's e-mail identifier for life. DO NOT DRINK BEFORE PICKbeautiful dormitories where they will find a ResComp Bite accessible only to ING YOUR UNIQNAME. We residents. If you're out and about, can't stress this enough. Your youll be able togo to any of 14 Inforchoice may be funny at the mation Technology Division (lTD) time, but it won't be funny for sites available to all students. If you the next four years. You are an Engineering student, you can wouldn't want all your friends e-mailing you with the adaocess 18 Computer Aided Engineering Network (CAEN) sites in addition dress '"bathole@.\unich.edu," Don't let the poet oIftce shIcIde you' use e-maI. to all lTD sites. would you? • x..500 is an on-line U-M diracotherwise known as posting, as well You have probably heard about the Internet, but what is it? The tory. It contains a listing for every as browse current articles and downInternet is a world wide network of student, faculty member, and U-M load ones you like. In addition to text information available through. romemployee. You can add descriptions, articles, you also may browse picputers. It includes e-mail, e-mail addresses, and a variety of tures and download them at your leiother information to your listing. Be sure. Be sure to read the description newsgroup8, oonferences, the World Wide Web, and a variety of other sure to choose your favorite beverage before downloading pictures; you probthings. It will be your most valuable listing carefully. 'lhe Department of ably don't want to see a picture of a tool whenever you use a romputer. Public Safety often scans for people 3OO-pound woman in a g-string holdIfyou don't knoW; ~ ~Y•.~~ . . ~h~ .ll,s!: ~ ~~~ ~i!: ,~ ~1p~; ing her faV()"te ~vesti.1;e;~~

BY M..ARx

WEST ANDANTHONY WEN

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food, and find yourself wondering how many times a week it is possible to serve baked chicken. ResComp sites offer valuable romputing facilities with applications such as EXCEL and Microsoft Word, but campus computing only will serve as an eXCU8e for easy access to the Internet. Just like in high school, )'Ou will encounter a devout group of computer groupies. You might even catch a glimpse of the "ResComp kid." Does anybody want to check their e-mail? The residence halls themselves are equally dreadful. On a cold winter day, the hill dorms, whicl), oonsist of Lloyd, Mosher-Jorden, Stockwell,. Markley, and Couzens, seem miles away from central campus. South Quad's tire alarms go off every night. West Quad, although connected to the Union, also is not a very nice place to live. Forget about Buraleyand East Quad. And when it comes time to reapply to live in the dorms next year. don't even think about it. )It

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At the U-M, a systmn called Con· fer U exists to facilitate discussions about various topics. The most common use of Confer is an on-line class discussion, although various student groups also maintain Confer conferences. Confer differs from newsgroups in that it is easier to use but you cannot download text. One of the neatest resources on the Internet is the World Wide Web 0NWW>. 'lhe WWW is a global web of information that inoorporates different mediums such as text, graphics, and sounds. It's really 0001 because you can make your own place on the WWW. called a home page. '!here are home pages ranging from the Phil Gramm for President home page to the numerous Beavis and Butt-head home pages. 'lhe best programs (also known as browsers) to use are Netscape and Mosaic. Be IJlU'e to dleck out the Playboy home page (http:// www.playboy.oom!);really.itIS an appropriate use of the U-M oomputing resources. Of course, the Mich.igan Review is on top of all these technological developments, thanks to Mark and his lack of a social life. One may reach the Review on e-mail (:mrev@Umi.cb..edu), on a Confer oonferen.ce (michiganreview), on Usenet (umich.michiganreview), and the World Wide Web (http://www.engin.umic h. e dul -mrwestimrev/). Feel free to oontact the Review. After all, e-mail is your tuition moD.e¥ put tQgood.use. Mf" •

THE MICIDGAN REVIEW

Summer 1995

o SPORTS

A Look at,lYlichigan Sports BY BRIAN MARcus AN D NATE

JAMl80N

T THE UNIVERSITY OF Michigan, academics are the most important aspect of college life. If you ask most people on campus, however, they would place sports as a close aecond.Some of the high profile teams failed to meet the expectations of eome thia past year, aa the football team had four losses and the basketball team lost in the opening round of the NCAA tournament. Michigan did pretty well overall, however, .. the men'8 8wimming and diving team. won the NCAA title, the women's swimming and diving team finished eecond in the nation, the hockey team reached the national eemifinals after holding the top-epot in the polls for much of the year, the women', softball team consistently ranked in the tnp five, and the men's tennis team regained its prominence in the Big Ten. What should we expect next year? Here's a look ahead Football: At the end of last &eaeon, most prognoaticators expected Michigan to be back in the top ten next year as it has Tshimanga Biakabutuka returning along with much of the defensive backfield The major problem seems to be at quarterback, a8 no obvious replacement for'Thdd Collins eeeme to exist. Since Michigan'a victory in the Holiday Bowl. it baa lost Ty Lew, a star defensive back, and Ch~ Foster, the starting fullback, to the NFL draft. Additionally, Biakabutuka baa fallen victbn to injury while Gary Moeller stunningly resigned in embarrassment following a drunken tirade outside a Southfield reetaurant. Suddenly, the Wolverines are looking at the next 8e88On leu hopefully. So what is the outlook? Athletic Director Joe Roberson has named Moeller's defenaive coordinator, Lloyd CaIT, as the interim head coach. and has set no deadline for hiring a fulltime head coach. It would be a surprise, though, if the Wolverines started the 888BOn without someone new at the helm. Early candidates to replace Moeller are Wa8hington Redskins and former Michigan wide receiver coach Cam Cameron and West V:a.rginia coach Don Nehlen. Though the program has had problems as of late, the new coach will inherit the moat prominent football program in the nation. As stated earlier, the DU\iorproblem will be at quarterback. Following the apring game, it appeared that Brian Griese and Scott Drie8bach. would battle all lUlDDler until the

opener with Vll'ginia on August 26. Driesbach performed well during spring practice and will most likely be the starting quarterback when the aeaaon begins. The fact that Michigan has perhaps the top duo of wide receivers in the country in Amani Toomer and Mercury Hayes eases the uncertainty at quarterback.. Last year, it seemed that all Collins had to do was launch. the ball in the direction of one oftheae two and somehow the receiver would come down with it. If the passing game is off, there is always the blazing Biakabutuka. 'This speedster, known as "Touchdown 'fun," is not only quick like Tyrone Wheatley, but also is -able to kn.~ck potential tacklers to the ground with' his bruising power. Also in the U-M's favor is its schedule. With patsies like Memphis, Miami of Ohio, and Northwestern on th~ schedule, the Wolverines simply have to get past Vll'ginia at home and Dlinois on the road in order to get off to a great start. The finish is tough, though, as Penn State, Michigan State, and Ohio State make up three of the last four games. So, if the Wolverines find a coach. soon enough to adequately prepare for the opener, they could start off 8-0; however, the true testa will come in Happy Valley against Penn State, in Lansing against Michigan State, and at home against Ohio State. Basketball: Finishing last season with a loss to Western Kentucky in the first round of the NCAA tournament culminated a disappointing end to the Fab Five era. Some forecasters may be thinking that Michigan is headed for another poor season in basketball, but this may not be the case. The team loses starters Ray Jackson and Jimmy King, but gains new recruits Robert "Tractor" Traylor, Louis Bullock, and Albert White perhaps the best recruiting class in the nation. 'The alashingstyles of King and Jackson will be sorely missed, but there are plenty of athletic players to make up for them. '!he major problem with the Wolwrinea last year was their inefficiency from the outside, which. stopped them from entering the upper echelon of college basketball. Frequently, fana at Crisler Arena would be yelling "Shoot" at point guard Dugan Fife when he was wide open last year. Whatever the reason, Fife uaually ignored these pleas. New recruit Louis Bullock of Maryland should solve these problems. Last year, the free shooting Bullock hit the bull's-eye on 60 percent of his three point attempts

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and recently set a scoring record at a Washington area all star game with 40 points. With Bullock lighting it up from the outside and hopefully enticing fellow guards Fife and Travis Conlan to do the same, the front'rourt players will be opened up to dominate the

hold Michigan back is its lack of outside shooting as well as its poor free throw shooting. IfMich.igan can improve these fundamentals, the NCAA tournament could be a Michigan party as the Final Four seems a realistic possibility once again. Hockey: Once again, the University of Michigan hockey team played extremely well most of the season, dominating the Central Collegiate Hockey Association (CCHA), but came up short in the post-eeason. It was eliminated in the semifinals of the NCAA tournament for the third time in the last four as the Maine Black Bears defeated the Wolverines in a triple--overtime thriller. But take heart, hockey fana - last year's version of the Wolverines was the youngest team in college hockey and several The lHt fishing teem wiD be exciting. key players will be returning. . ~ of the keys to Michigan's sucinside. Last year, Maurice Taylor and Maceo Baston showed dominant skills cess last8eaeGnW8s the impressive in the paint while one--on-one, but play of freshman gOal~nder Marty were restricted offensively when they Turco, who had several outstanding were double teamed Hopefully, Taygames in net. Turco was remarkably cool and confident for a true freshlor and Baston a8 well as new recruits man, and a year of college experience Albert White and Robert Traylor will see more daylight in the lane. T.\te.,"" can only improve his ability to stop Wolverines have an abundan.ceoftalthe puck.. Playing in front of Turco ent in the frontcowt with these four; last season were several solid, if they simply need help from the outunspectacular, defensemen. Of that side to take some defensive pressure group, Alan Sinclair, Mark. Sakala, off the post players. and Tim Hc,gan have graduated, but What about the three other valusenior Steven Halko and junior Blake able players last year: Jerod Ward, Sloan will remain a part ofwhat promWillie Mitchell, and Makhtar Ndiaye? ises to be a more stingy defense. Ward, the number one recruit last 'Th.e Wolverines have been blessed year, may be contemplating transferwith exceptional offensive talent the ring, but if he stays he should get a past few years and the 1995-96 seadecent amount ofpJayingtime at small son should be no different. Hobey forward and off-guard. Last year he Baker award finalist Mike Knuble sat out a number of games with a foot and team. captain Rick Willis are gone, injury, but when he played he mainly but their absence will do little to distuck to battling in the paint. The minish the wealth of offensive talent. reason he was 80 highly regarded, Scoring leader Brendan Monison will however, was that he is a good shooter. be back for his junior season along At 6' 9", he can post up the smaller with sophomore Bill Muckalt, who made a significant impact last season guards defending him or shoot over in his rookie campaign. Injuries durthem. Ifhe regains his confidence and ing his sophomore season kept junior shooting touch that made him the top Jaeon Botterill from living up to the recruit in the nation, he could have a potential he displayed during his major impact. Willie Mitchell, on the freshman year, but he is still an inother hand, alwaya shot from the outtimidating power forward with a deft side. The problem was that he hardly scoring touch. The goal-tKx>ring capaever hit. Mr. Baskethall in Michigan bilities don't end there, with several in 1994, Mitchell sbnply needs to work players such. as Warren Luhning, on his shot. Makhtar Ndiaye, last year's center, is a hard worker who Robb Gordon, and John Madden caimproved throughout the year. He is pable of lighting up the scoreboard.. Despite its losses to graduation, a crowd favorite, but he may not see much. playing time with the number the Michigan hockey team will again feature a very talented and explosive of talented big men. The outlook for this team. is excelsquad reinforced with solid lent. It is likely that they will win the goaltending. Ita superior ability and Big Ten as last yeaTs winner, Michibig game experience should have it gan State, lost its top scorer, Shawn once again contending for the CCHA and national titles. m , \"1 '!!• . • , " \ ,,, , . Reapert. The major problem that could

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Summer 1995

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o LIFE IN THE CITY

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A Beginner's Guide to Ann Arbor BY GEOFF BRoWN

ELCOME TO ANN ARbor, the home of the fiuned University of Michigan (Motto: "Anyone caught making fun of our motto will be prosecuted under the Code"). As eomeone who has just (barely) survived hie second year here at the U-M, I believe that I amjust as qualified as anybody else to give you a few hints about our fair city (and, if I remember my own Orientation experience coITeCtly, rm probably more qualified). So let me be your official guide to the city of Ann Arbor. Ann Arbor MytIB By now you've been tnld, among other things, that if a virgin ever graduates from the UM, the stone pumas in front of the Natural History museum will rome to life and hunt this graduate down. This is absolutely true. I swear it is. Ever wonder why you never see any priests or nuns around here? Also, there is the very famous "Stepping on the 'M'" myth, which states that all students who step on the "M'" in the center of the Diag before their fi.rst "blue book" exams will be hunted down by the angry stone pumas. This is utterly ridiculous. Angry administraton will hunt them down and prosecute them under the Code. UviDg In the dorms: It sucks. This is why rm doing it again next year for the third time in a row. Ifyou choose the right dorm, however, you might be able to actually tolerate it. [EDI'1'OR'S NO'lE: Please pardon the previous sentence. Mr. Brown has 0bviously been miffing paint fumes again. Our apologies.). For example, M~o:rdan Hall is actually a nioe place to live - for a dorm. However, you will not in this lifetime ever be able to actually Jive there, as all of the upperclassmen fleeing Markley and South Quad have already taken all the rooms. Basically. freshman wind up living in South Quad, Markley (Motto: "Youll feel like you never left New Yorkt"), East Quad (MoUn: "East Quad donn rooms: Where two's rompany and three's a fire hazard. "), or Bursley, which i.a on North Campus (Motto: "What? You mean we didn't tell you how far away this place is?!? Silly us. It). You also may have heard about the dorm food and how bad it is. Well, hey, it's not that bad. Sometimes I think the dorms actually serve food that originated on this planet, as aort ofa tJoeat. The key to eating dorm food i.a to never, ever eat the "Edward X. GeoffBroum lave. Ann Arbor; M plan. ~to let:Jve. 'i~ , " ::" ~' ,,;

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Delaney Sandwich." I'm not sure what's in it, but I can tell you that nobody has seen Edward X. Delaney for a long time, if you get my drift. The Code: The friendly folks in the U-M adm.i.nistration got together a few years back and, in their infinite wisdom, decided that our Founding Fathers were just a bit loopy when they invented the Constitution and due process. So it went about inventing its own little justice system, and today we have the Code. The Code is evil. Everybody hates it: liberals, ronservatives, nuns, the Celtics, manic

RES E R V E

depressives, James Earl Jones, everybody, even the administration; it just keeps using it to save face. Which Classes to Take: Just don't take any. After all, they get in the way of other important stuff, like football games, parties, e-mail, and ER. Driving in Ann Arbor: One word: don't. You'll be a happierindividual for it Basically, nobody in Ann Arbor knows how to drive, or reads stop signs, or merges. It's a wonder people can even find the Motor Vehicle Office, much less get their Ii-

amses. Plus, the city streets were laid out by people who must have been on crack. You'll be driving along a street somewhere only to find that it's now one way in the other direction. They never warn you. And pedestrians make it harder. '!hese people bring a new mea.."'ling to the word "jaywalk." In fact, should there ever rome a time during which there are no pedestrians to walk. in front of you, orbiting spacecraft will beam a few down right in front of you, just so your day isn't too convenient or anything. Not that I'm bitter. Ml

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Civil Liberties

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der ofa female and co~g by tive power. Why? Just a week before e-mail with an Ontario man about the Baker incident became public, Ua random manner, as mandated by plans ofrape and torture. Baker used M was using the Code in the Lavie VB. the Code. Professor Peter Bauland the name of a female classmate after Welch case. Apparently, the U-M can was the hearing panel chair for the hearing it dming a fall 1994 class that arbitrarily pick. and chooSe when it Lavie VB. Welch case. He was responthey shared. He used her name in the wants to use its own code of conduct; sible for &electing six student jurors story but not in the e-mail messages. the president seems to have dictatorandom1yout ofa pool of50 students. VJlma Baker, Jake Baker's mother, rial powers as well. Judicial Advisor Mary Lou Antieau, said, "Her last name is a sexual pun, The original federal charges who adminiaters the Code, selected and that is why [Jake] used her name. against Baker cited the story a. the Bauland to preside over these hearShakespeare would have loved it." main evidence against him. US AttoringB. A. reported in the Michigan Baker neither communicated with nor ney Saul A Green said that "Baker's Daily, Bauland uaed gender, ethnicity, had any contact with the woman after mention of a real student ... contriband cla.. .tanding to pick jurors. he posted the story. After the U-M uted to the charges against him." Several weeks later, the charges against Bauland aaid that his original ransuspended him, Baker also was ardom. ee1ection had a disproportionate rested and charged by the federal Baker were changed; they only alluded to the &-mail correspondence number of undergraduate males, so government for "transmitting a threat and did not use the original fictional be ,~ the group tn make it "mare to injure" another person. He was mixed.""Clearly; this meth~, allows held in a federal prison for several story as evidence. 'This is mteresting any biases of the panel chair tn8lrect' ,., ' weeka_,~!il bond was granted after because Baker's e-mail was searched only after the story was found. The the composition of the jury. numerous a~~tly, Baker But the U-M does not always use is awaiting trial and is notatlowed.,w,. story led the DPS to search his ethe Code when violatione oa:ur, which return to Ann Arbor or to take classes. -, mail, which then led to the charges against him. is quite peculiar, since the Code is Both First Amendment rights and It is important to note that the supposed to regulate etudent nonthe Code are under scrutiny in this Code was implemented as an interim academic conduct. The Jake Baker case. University President James policy and that status continues to case is perhaps the moat well-known Duderstadt suspended Baker on Feb. event that has occurred at the U-M in mary 2, citing Regents' Bylaw 2.01, the present. 'This leaves the door open for the possible elimination of the recent yean. A. many know, Baker which gives the president the power Code. Unfortunately, the possibility was suspended from the U-M after to enforce ~e maintenance of health, exists that the Code could become a posting a fictional story on the worlddiligence, and order among the stupermanent policy. At the April meetwide Internet computer network dedents." Effectively, Duderstadt bying of the Board of Regents, the I"e:"~ scribing the rape, torture, and murpassed. the Code and used his execu-

CooIooed from page 1-

Contiooed from page 1

Join other students, alumni, and parents and sign the Reverse Pledge. The Reverse Pledge states that you will not give money to 1.1Pact, the Senior Pledge, or any other University-sponsored 'funding drive until the Statement of Student Rights and Responsibilities (the Code) is abolished. Apparently, student disapproval of the Code is not important to the U-M , so we must deny the University what it cares most about - money.

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, ~ /kat J uMIJ IIOt ~ CUtf : I MOIC~' III> '1111h"J~ oj. M~" juMtliIuj ~ UIIid tJ..1 I J:tat.",.,J oj. SlwiMI. RIfId4, aJ, R~ 14 ~ I I I I I ~~ I I I I

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their private meeting. This was an . excellent example of students successfully sending a message to the administration. At four o'clock, following the rally, march, and chant-4n, the regents held their public meeting in the Anderson Room of the Union. Fewer people than one might expect attended, as the relatively small room was not even close to its capacity. However, the power of those who spoke against the Code, including Wainess and outgoing MBA President Julie Neenan, more than compensated fOr the lack of attendance. Eloquent reason replaced the fiery rhetoric of the rally, and the lone pro-COOe speaker failed to generate any of the applause that SAC

ITo sigl\ e-mail the Michigan Review at mrev@um.ich.edu or mail this I : with your signature and name to the Michigan Review at: :

I I I

Reverse Pledge 911 N. University, Ste. 1 Ann Arbor, MI 48109

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gents considered whether to keep the Code as interim, permanent, or to abolish it. They decided to keep the policy interim, but a completely new draft of the Code will be presented to them in the fall. It is unclear what revisions will be made, but the Office for Student Affairs, kept in check. by MSA President Flint Wainess, Students'Rights Commjssion Chair Anne Marie Ellison, and Student Civil liberties Watch Chair Pamela Short is responsible fur drafting the new document. Also, the Code provides for an amendment process that took place for the first time in late January. The Student Judicial Board considered proposed amendments and recommended certain ones for approval by the regents. 'This became a moot point, however, as the regents rejected the amendments and decided to keep the current Code in interim status pending the creation of a new document. ',. The upcoming year brings many decisions ~ the future of the Code and, acrord.ingiy;about the quality of life and civil liberties at the UM. There will no doubt be more controversy and debate concerning the direction of the University and the lives of its students. m

Code Rally

Sign the Reverse Pledge

: J,

Summer 1995

drew. The outrome ofit all was indeed a success. The next morning the regents voted to retain the Code as an interim policy - as opposed. to making it a pe~ent one. During the summer, the admjnjs1mtion will meet with various student leaders to draft a policy that is more in line with federal policy, which currently requires universities to institute alcohol and sexual assault policies to receive federal funding. Without a federal judge declaring such a code unconstitutional, which has occurred at other universities, this was about as much as SAC could have hoped to achieve. While SAC did not defeat the Code entirely, its efforts to protect civil1iberties at the U-M were a major step in the right direction. m

Let the Michigan Review educate you! The controversy surrounding the Code only will heat up as the fall term approaches. Stay tuned to the Review, as it will continue to defend individual liberty and expose any and all violations of students' rights.

Summer 1995

MICHIGAN REVIEW LIVING CUtTURE_ .. . . · ,}i ..:.. . 17]

@ l'um

Ann Arbor: A·'Mecca For Filmgoers most part they fail. They do show The third on-campus theater is some high-quality films though. also the grandest 'llie Michigan '!heater is one of the last great movie The Ann Arbor Theater is the farthest away, and the most mainhouses of the first half of the twentistream. It houses two tiny"auditorieth century. It remains in good shape ums" with minuscule screens but surandarnrie8many~cmovieswith prisingly good sound and picture qualits 70 mm projector as well as new ity. It is relatively inexpensive ($4 independent films. At only $4 for stuwith student ID) and has a great dents, it is a great bargain considervariety of concessions (coffee • and muffins). It shows films that are just slightly off the Hollywood circuit (i.e. The Piano), The State Theater is probably the most popular among Univenity students, even though it is the most uncomfortable. It is all that remains of what used to be a grand movie housei each of its two screens is half of the old balcony, so the seating! screen orientation is awk- The MichIgan Theater, restored 10 ita original efegance ward. It is only $3 and also carries a ing that it is part of a non-profit nice mix of barely-mainstream films foundation. All new students should (Le. this is where I saw The see atleast one movie here their first Shawshanlt. Redemption .. . both year to gain an appreciation both for times). independent film and for what the

BY RYAN POSLY

s A LOVER OF ALL FilMS great and small, I was con-

cemed about the movie scene when I first came to college. Fortunately, Ann Arbor boasts a diverse variety of commercial theaten and non-profit film societies, all of which I have had the opportunity to experience so that I can relay this lifethreatening information to you, the incoming freshmen. One piece of advice: bring a car. It is unfortunate that the University does not provide parking anywhere on campus, because all of Ann Arbor's mainstream multiplexes are located way offcampus. But who needs mainstream Hollywood schlock anyway, right? Well, I do. So if you do have access to a car or are willing to pay fur a taxi or the bus, you can visit one ofMichigan's bi8gest megaplexes, Showcase Cinemas. Showcase enjoys 14 big screens showing mostly firstnm f8re, and is my favorite theater L'1 town just becauae ofits selection. It is new and is thus quite clean and efficient, though expensive ($6.50). I have a personal problem with the rocking seats as well. '!he picture and sound quality are naturally the finest in Ann Arbor, although it once tried to get a way with showing Little Giants to an auditorium-full crowd of Tarantino fans waiting for Pulp ~ tion. '!he problem was resolved without too much of a riot. '!he other mainstream theater, again located way off campus, is the United Artists theater in Briarwood Mall. 'Ihia is a forgettable sevenscreen multiplex that recently was renovated, though it could have fooled me. It's a bit cheaper here ($6) however, a huge advantage in a town full of poverty-etricken college students. A great eecond-run theater is also within driving distance. 'The Fox Village rtbeater revels in being the clleapest one in town at only $1.50 for all shows at all times. It shows movies about two to three months after their initial runs in mainstream theaten, and is an all-around good theater. Within walking distance of central campus <Bunley residents get the shaft again) are three small t;be.. atKa, each devoted to leas mainstream programming. '!hey have the arduous task of converting the ignorant majority of incoming freshmen into art-coIuIcioua filmgoera, and for the

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moviegoing experience was like back when it was one of the most exciting things to do. One must make special mention of the annual Ann Arbor Film Festival, which is located in the Michigan Theater every March. This is an internationally recognized exhibition of independent and experimental 16 mm. films, and is worth attending. The numerous non-profit film. s0cieties that abound on campus also deserve mention. Organizations like the Ann Arbor Film Cooperative, the Cinema Guild, and M-Flicks bring many feature 8Jld in!1ependent filmS to campus, showing them at various lecture halls. '!hese are usually very inexperisive, if not ~. Another advantage of these groups is that students can get involved with the~ in the selection of films and advertising. So the opportunities for seasoned moviegoen and film addicts are numerous here in Ann Arbor. All you need is a little money and a desire to be entertained by the greatest medium ever invented. A car would be nice too. Mt

ing Culture, the s a rts section.

Do you like what you see? Do you want to write about art,'fashion, television, music, restaurants, or any other form of visual expression?

Plan ahead. Come to the Mass Meeting, Sunday, September 17, 7:00 PM, in the Koessler Library, Third Floor, Michigan League. See you there.

u the film critic of the ReYiew. H;' film column app«In ,..".

R,an Po.l:y

14ri:y in Livin6 Culture. _

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199sl

The Literary Glutton's Guide

BY DEAN

spelunked. Around the oomeris Books in General (332 S. State), a friendly, s WRITER GEORGE weU-organized, and reasonably priced Borrows once said, "Literafeast of reading delicacies. If you eeek. a little more novelty in ture is a drug." If this is the case, book lovers and aspiring writers the books you buy, there are plenty of books and oollectible shops including will find themselves high. as kites in Common Language (214 S. Fourth), a Ann Arbor. Yes, Ann Arbor is a veritable orgasm of literary splendor for unique feminist and gayAesbian bookstore. Falling Water (213 S. Main) the bibliophile. '!here are bountiful bookshope, prestjgioua programs, and may be one of the most fun bookstDres in tnwn. Crazy Wtsdom (206 S. Fourth) working writers throughout this also is a joy tn browse. For collectors of unique city, one of the nation's fastest oomics and other books, Dave's Comgrowing literary centers. ics (623 E. William) or Kaleidoscope '!he University of Michigan En(217 S. State) are ideal places to blow glish Department playa its role in this thriving .community through the cash that is designated by Ma and Pa Hopwood Programs. The HopwOOds as textbook money. In short, if you like to read anything, there is cerare a series of creative writing oonBookworms Illy busy It the lHl tainly a place in which you will find teats that give young writers a chance town area, Wooden Spoon (200 N. your preference. to ea.m some big mmey. The Hopwood Fourth) is a wonderful place tD browse Of course, the University's excelProgram also spon.8OI'8 a series of litand, most likely, find a buried gem. lent literature departments and the erary:reedings at the Rackham Graduate School; this series brings local, .After Words (219 S. Main) is the place a:rt:isQcatJ!llIlunity of Ann Arbor bring tD go f<r new books at eerily low prices. many famous-authors to this Midnational, and international essayists, poets, and authors tD the University Closer tD campus, Dawn Treader Book western cultural meCca. The charmShop (514 E. Liberty) is a quaint and mg, funny, and frighteningly bizarre Det:m BaAopou.We u a h.opeI,us bibliofriendly shop, while David's Books Elizabeth Wurtzel, author of Prozac phile. He often Hen on tJae {Icon of down the street at 622 E . Liberty is Nation, the grizzled Tim O'Brien, area booUhop,. writhing injoy. virtually a cave ofbooks waitingtD be_.~ author of The Thing, They Carried, i -- i and angry young man Henry Rollins gave readings and book signingB in Ann Arbor 1ast year. In addition, many writers live in Ann Arbor and teach oourses in the craft.. Suchl1Oteworthy . writers include award-winning fiction writers Charles Baxter and Daniel Lyons, poets Richard TIllinghast and Alice Fulton, and Nicholas Delbanco, who is a co-director of the Hopwood Program and has a probable best-eeller on the way from Warner Books. Aspiring writers usually can find a publication for which to write. Ann Arbor and the University offer various publications, some run by students, some run by locals. Xylem is a student-nln literary journal that often offers some very impreBSive student writings. Third Wave, a feminist journal, publishes both poetry and essays from students and area residents. The Bard, a sporadically-published literary magazine, also provides a forum for budding writers. A The Michigan Review is seeking dedicated students to join its business staff. Positions wide variety of newspapers and p0available include advertising executives, a circulation director, and fundraising coordinalitical magazines also exists on camtors. pus and around Ann Arbor. In short, Ann Arbor is among the best literary tDwns in the oountry. If you can stDmach the pretentiousness If you are interested in being part of a rapidly growing organization, adding essential of ooffee shop pseudcrintellectua1s, business experience to your resume, and having fun, call Dean at the Review office at 662the avant garde trash over which same 1909. Or come to our mass meeting on Sunday, September 17, in the Koessler Room of the locals rave, and the stuffy wine and Michigan League. cheese receptions, the inspiration and events oftbis tDwn will keep you reading, writing, and happy. Mt

BAKopot.n.08

for some entertaining and brilliant readings. The Hopwood Room is 10cated at 1006 Angell Hall, and besides finding information on the plethora of oontests, aspiring writers can read, hang out, and talk with fellow artists. Program Director Andrea Beauchamp is omnipreaent and ever helpful, 80 stDp in for more information next fall. '!he Ann Arbor community also oontributes tD the scene, especially with the vast array of bookshops available throughout the town. Most noticeable is the solar system known as Borders Books and Music (612 E. Liberty). While Bor. ders' ~ecti.on is unmatchable, its vastness is' often frusgating, and the joy of finding an obsCUre'tree.sure is virtually nonexistent. Shaman Drum (313 s. State) is oodles of fun and has an excellent selection of literary and academic works, but beware. The pretentiousneBS of wine and cheese consuming snobs that irequent this stDre is often intimidating, and both employees and regulars alike may make you feel like an idiot. But it is still pretty 0001.

Other minor players, but often better ones, are the independent bookshops around tDwn. In the down-

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Join the Review Business Staff.

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r :Music

MICHIGAN', REVIEW, LlVING~tur'rl.JRr ,'.; ,,,., ";;,. c·"

Summer 1995

, ~I

Ann Arbor's Music Scene

Concerts: Where To Go

Music: Where To Buy

slots. But don't wOITY, if you accidentally plop down. $4 for funk., you can s ALL OF YOU KIDDIES always retreat to the 8 Ball Saloon in get ready to pack your bags the basement. and head for the University of On a bad note, The Blind Pig is Michigan, you may be a little nervous only for ages 19 and over. No matter about "things to do" while you are how much money you give them, no here. If you take the wrong classes, matter how tight your shirt is, you aren't getting into the Pig if you are your professors may make your spare time go away. If you play your cards under 19. right, you can have hours to fill with For people who would rather smell fun collegiate tb.inga. like overpriced coffee than beer and For those of you who want to fill smoke, there are a few coffeehouses your time with some music, you have in Ann Arbor that offer live music. plenty more options than MTV. Ann Cava Java offers poetry readArbor has a good handful of clubs, ings as well as local bands at lower bars, and coffeehouses volumes (semias well as a few people plugged) on Fridays who offer up their baseand Saturdays. It is ments as venues for always all ages and banda. usually $3. HowYears ago, The ever, Cava Java will Heidelberg was the book nationals when club. Back when the opportunity Juliana Hatfield was arises. This past writing good songs her school year, Sony reband, Blake Babies, cording artists G. played there. Back Love and Special when Billy Corgan's Sauce did an ultra.band was Stillieaming rare performance how to play the parts there. right, Smashing PumpAnn Arbor's kins filled the dark, DavId Lee Roth pi yed at the newest coffeehouse, fiunily-restaurant-like never a I Not Another Cafe club with fans. Alas, no Bind PIg. but we wish he wou d. (NAC), promises to more. Only old-timer local bands play offer music without a cover charge. there now. I'm. sure that diversity will be key in In the meantime, The Blind Pig NAC's entertainment. What makes has become everyone's favorite place me think that? '!he variety of gaudy to see rock and roll. In the past, it has sofas and chairs, the board games, been graced with fairly large national and the fact that customers can conacts like Matthew Sweet , sume NAC's own. special blends of Swervdriver, and Buffalo Tom. Unoverpriced coffees, Dunkin' Donuts or fortunately, most larger bands byWhite Castle hamburgers while they pass 'The Blind Pigs 500 capacity and lounge about. NAC is crazy like that head to the venues in Detroit The Ark provides an official With a consistent sound system venue for acoustic folk that is just as and admission rarely topping $10, cozy the coffeehouses, but a bit more 'The Blind Pig is a great plaoo to see all expensive. Dougie MacLean, Robyn your favorite up and coming bands. Hitchcock, Ani DiFranco and many Earlier this year, crazy college kids other notables have played The Ark. coughed up a few bucks to see hippieWith plenty of beer specials, hipicons the Dave Matthews Band, and pie bands, cover bands, and hippie later, Hootie and the Blowfish. Now cover bands, Rick's American Cafe they get to brag to all of their mends is the answer to fratboys' prayers. about how they liked that garbage However, Tuesday night is now before everyone else did. Come to non-Greek night at Rick's. Shows are enough shows at The Blind Pig and 18 and over (instead of the usual 19 you'll be able to brag too. and over) and feature some of the Local and regional acts play on finest in indie-rock. Small Factory, the rest of the days. For some reason, Archers of Loaf, Versus, Cell, Helium Ann Arbor bands play at the Pig on and the like have played recently. weekdays while na~ East Lansing Every other day oftha week, the bands funk bands get all of the weekend are usually pretty lame. Ml

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DREW PETERS

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their collection of hard-to-find imports and rarities makes up for it. SAlLOFYOUKIDDIESGEr They also have plenty of in~tore ready to pack your bags and acoustic peIformances by acts getting head for the University of ready to hit the stage at The Ark. Michigan, you may be a little nervous Even though Borders Boob 4: about what to do with your money Music is primarily concerned with while you are here. If you have the books, they have even harder to find wrong parents, books and tuition may recordings. Although some of the CDs make your spare money go away. If are so hard to find that they are also you play your cards right (use your hard to pay for,tlu~ir unbelievably mends' books, tell your parents that friendly employees would be happy to you need lots of cash for "lab fees," order some stuff you can afford. etc.) you can have money to blow on WhereHouse Records seems to all sorts of fun college things. have suffered a little from the recent For those of you who want to spend expansion of Borders and Tower. Save money on music, you their large amounts of have plenty of places posters, WhereHouse to shop. If you want has a pretty average to support the Man, selection at pretty avTower Records is erage prices. the one. It's no wonDiscount Recder, since most of ords is the most mind their CDs are $11.99. boggling store in Ann In addition to their ·· Arbor/lheyhave very incredible selection few CDs in their elisOrof CDs, they also ganized. cramped store, have hUndreds of and the few that they magazines from do have are ridiculously around the globe, a priced. Even their healthy stock ofvid"sales" give you a doleos and lots of lar or two otrfor buying wearables that will about $50 of music. keep you from sav- Ann ArborIte ArwuH ArwuIf brought If you want to save ing your money. his jaz%lpoetry to Cava Java. some major cash, the Tower has had live (and loud) used record stores are the way to go. . music on select nights. Although most Although PJ's Records 4: Used CDs have been local acts, nationals like and Wazoo have been local favorites Dink and Mark CuITY have played in for used CDs in the past, Encore the past. Even better, they had Gina Recordings Gocated on Liberty St.) LaMarca, Penthouse Pet of the Year, has recently joined the game with the signing autographs to promote her best prices, best trade in value and all new video. Hail to Tower! around best used store. Buy a disc for $8 and show your parents how smart Although Schoolkids' Records is usually on the pricey side ($14.99), you are. Ml

DREW PETERS

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Keep an eye out for Michigan Review's Living Culture section next year. offering the latest greatest. and not-so-greatest in Bourgeois arts like jazz, classical, rock. books. fashion, and film. I

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While ·you're here for Orientation, stop by MICHIGAN BOOK & SUPPLY to reserve your books early! Save yourself the hassle of Book Rush in the Fall! ••• or ••• ~ Order by phone I-BOO-765-MICH A $25 deposit (applied toward the price of your books) is required.

For YOllr convenience IIl1ve eNtendeo: lulu,s dllring 'oolt RlIsII'

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IIu,e selectilln IIf tllP IIf tile line MICHIGAN Inslgnlll cilltlllngt

MICHIGAN BOOK & SUPPLY is located at the corner of and State Street

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