vol_14_no_2 by Michigan Review

Bentley Historical Ubrary 1150 Beal Avenue

Ann Arbor,

48109-211~

Libertarian Candidate to Stand Trial BY JAMES A. RoBERTS,

that Em.ry's campaign will address thia lack ofregard for liberty, spreading the "libertarian bible one chapter ata time." Although friendliness is second campaign manager natUre to Emry and secretary of the "Hi, beautiful," she proclaims, passing Washtenaw County Libertarian Party, inpeople on the stl'eets dicates that the can- she insistB that her didacy does address involvement i.il politics was unanticithe broader issue of pated. "The maricivil liberties. Clark juana issue forced believes that the "inthia political action," sane war on drugs" she I;ltated, adding has re8ulted in the violation ofindividual that the Libertarians rights, pointing out " invited her to run on that the Livingston ' their ticket. Despite and Washtenaw .A tea her most recent arNarcotiea Teafuaob- UbertIrI.., Candidate Renee Emry rest, the Libertarians tained a WaITaDt ,to have aftirmed. their support for Emty's candidacy. search Em.ry's house on the basia of While jury selection for the trial four anonymous tips. Clark. stated

the benefits ofmarijuana. "Siclt people should not have to fight with the law." '!hough the legalization of manjuana is "the most intriguing aspect of the campaign," Richard C1ark, Emry's

HILECANDIDA'1ES FOR Ann Arbor city council traditionally plead their caeee before the wte1'8, Rene6 Emry will lOOn plead her caee before a jury. Sutfering from multiple aclerosi.e and claiming that 't he use of marijuana is the most effective remedy, Em.ry hal taken her que8t for the legalization of medicinal marijuana into the realm of elect.oral politics, attaining a candidacy with the Libertarian party in the upcoming city council elections. Though abe seeks a seat in the 5th ward of city council, Emry will face proeecution for the posse88ion of the illegal substance st:artmg the week of September 25, Additionally, she was ,a rre8ted on Wednesday, September 20 for allegedly ael1ing marijuana to an undercover polia'! ofticer. Deepite these apparent setbacks for her campaign, Emry remain. determined to spread her mesaage con· cerning the legaJi_tion ofmedidnaJ. marijuana. "I am't even keep up with BY GENJ: KIWJS all the activities about me because I've been making myaelflmown." abe HE AMERICAN ACADEMY said with a tone of excitement. She of Liberal Education, a grOup 8tated happily that people have ofprmninent scllolara, recently "thrown IlUpport ~ [her] direction," haa been recognized as a national and. announced berJntsntion to speak accrediting agency. As the New YorA with each and every pel"8On in the 5th Timu reports, the Department of ward of Ann Arbor. Education has given this WashingTo look at RenMEmry, one does ton-baaed group the authority to cerDOt see a revollrtionary, but her meatify liberal arts collegee for purpoeel eage is one that few dare to auert in offederal fbOOjng. which indudes stu· the world of partiaan politiea. She dent loana and research grants. claim. that her candidacy i8 '!he Academy was founded three oxymoronic, for abe bringB honesty to years ago by academics, including politiea. Her platform is atraightforEdwin O. Wllson, Jacque8 Barzun, ward and quite frank' legalize marl- . and Elizabeth Fox-Genovese. '!heir juana 80 that thoee who wish to use it goal is to tum liberal arts education for medical purpoeeamay peaoefully away from "&.ddish courses" and back do BO. "1b.ey've forced U8 to become to a stronger and more broad core criminal8 because of their own ignocuniculum which includes courses in rance:ahe stated, referring to thoee literature, history, philosophy, the in government who refuse to coJUJider sciences, languages, politics, eoonom-

involving possession of marijuana began on Monday, September 25, EImy now finds herself in the midst of yet another legal problem. She faces additional charges of selling marijuana, after an wuiercover police officer purchased the substance from her at last July's Ann Arbor Art Fair. Emry claims that the officer insisted that he had a friend that also suffered from multiple sclerosis, and that marijuana would help relieve the condition. She believes that the sale was a set--up, driven by political motivatio~.

In reg8rd to the current trial, Emry said that the outoom.e is now "in God's hands.... Due to Michigan law, she is not able to defend her possession on the grOunds of ~edical n.eoe. sity. Nevertheless, Emry maintains a spirit ofreserved confidena'!. "Justice will be served," she said, "although &;U ,good things take time." M:\

Academy·to ·Evaluate

3 Electric snapPlel Test Add

Straws, straws, straws. straws. straws. straws, Raws. straws, STRAWS I

14~:Suite

The U-M must open its meetings to allow for student input.

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the ~demy is leu emphasis on reiea, and mathematics. College8 and universities cur- ·search and more on teaching. One such criterion concerns the degree to rently are accredited by aix regional which senior faculty is involved in organizations. Some who believe that different institutions should not re- . undergraduate education. '!be Academy believes that too many graduate ceive regional evaluations have critistudents, as opposed to professora, do cized this method. '!he American the actual teaching. Academy for Liberal Education, howCollegee are already lining up for ever, will replace a regional accreditthe two--year accreditation proces8. ing agency only if a particular instituApproval by the academy will let intion requesta thia. coming studente know that their ~ Jeffrey Wallin, president of the ticular college has a strong core curAcademy, believes that speci aJi 7.ation takes plaa'! too early in today's uniriculum. Although the Academy has not versities. He said that the first two officially considered the undergraduyears of a college student's education ate requirements of the University of should be focused on a strong core Michigan, it is quite possible that it cuniculum.. 'lllough he remains skepwill do 80 in the future. Wallin pertical, Wallin is not oppoeed entirely to sonally believes that the U-M i8 a specia1imtion. "We don't want to send high~uality research institution, engineers out into the world that don't though he had no thoughts about its know how to build bridges," he said. undergraduate education. Ml One of the criteria for approval by

8 Interview; I5 The Information Hodges SuperStopsign Chris

An e-mail from the Ivory

Tower.

A member of the Code workgroup gives insight into the process.

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I LIVING ruLTURE This week's selection includes a new jazz columnist and hair rock.

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

September Zl.1995

T I II , ;\ 11 ( . III ( i:\ N R f-, \' I L\ V

o SERPENT'S TOOTH,"

The Campus Affal ... Journal of the University of Michigan "The any Good Slate is a Toppled State:

'Ille Daily reports that U-M President James Duderstadt unveiled his "Vision 2017" plan at the faculty's Senate Assembly meeting last week, where he joked about the poetrihility of the "edutainment" industry taking over the University. The possibility of Mi<%'08Oft; or Disney buying out the UM frightened many assembly members. In an attempt to quell their .fears, public relations officials for Nike stated that it bas no plans to sell the University to either company. Retired General Colin Powell, son of immigrants, gave support for denying welfare to illegal immigrants, except children. He further stated that legal jmmigrants should be allowed to receive welfare since they are citizens and should be treated as such. No word whether or not Powell was consulted for California'. Prop 187 legislation.

Last Friday, Judge Lance Ito ruled, against the wi8bee of the defense, that he would instruct the jury that it could

find O.J. Simpson guilty of the leaser charge of second-degree murder, ifit was so inclined. University officials state, however, that they still plan to find Simpson guilty of first-degree murder under the Code. House Speaker Newt Gingrich has said he'd be willing to risk a Treasury default rather than raise the ceiling on the national debt, meahing we'd be unable to pay interest on it. Serpent's Tooth thinks that Gingrich should pay the interst with his recent book deals. Or, the GOP could transferth.e savings from their brilliant student loan cuts to pay the interest. 'Ib.e last one was sarcastic, folks. GOP presidential candidate and successful millionaire Steve Forbes advocates a standard flatr-rate tax for all Americans, wherein everyone pays one rate and can file. by postcard. Continu~ ing his policY of jumping on the Republican band~agon in order to not seem so leftist, Bill Clinton says he also favors a flat tax system, wherein

DROVING PHOTOGRAPHER

everyone files by postcard and pays everything they ever earn. During a visit to Mackinac Island last weekend, Newt Gingrich praised Michigan Gov. John Engler, saying he is proof that sticking to your principles bas paid 011; eamething Gingrich says he will try as soon as he can.

EOITQA..W..CKlEF: ....11* A. Roberta, II PU8USHEA: BrIIn IIIrc:uI ARTS EDITOR: Greg PIIrtr. MANAGING EDITOR: Mohln KrtIhnIn ASSISTANT EDITOR: Gene K,... COpy EDITORS: Benjamin Keppla, AntbonW Will COaFUTER CONSULTANT: Mark Wilt MUSIC EDIlOR: Drew PeIIIre FIUI CAlTJC: Ryan Polly U.USTRA1OR: Brt.n O'KIIf.

LI1EAARY CRI11C: BII Alii...

Who says artificial intelligence isn't highly developed? A recent spellcheck on our staff computers of the name "Duderstadt" suggested the word "Dunderhead." The Review's computers have since been expelled under Regents' Bylaw 2.01. University professors have made several complaints about the noise of . construction in Angell Hall, which • was supposed to have been finished a month ago. They say all the banging and noise of power tools makes it "hard. to teach." Funny, political corectneas does the same exact thing. and none of them has said a damn thing about that!

by Lisa Wagner

PHOTOORAPHER: lJA Wagner STAfF: .... AcIdII, OIvcnh Adllr,ScoItBIc:Icmore, GIOft Brown, Matt BuckleW, Nathlll Court, Patrlda DIIt, Rob CIvIl, PU 0IFI0fI0, Kann Denq, SIMrt.n DnIIII, Molly ElgIn, Pit e._, JInnIIr Fen., Brian FOI"IIIr, Dlnlll HIldy, Calvn H_ng, IIIrk JoIInaon, Tom JoIIII., Antbony KIkIIIlII, UI Kalllh, Clvlltlll KllwIdd, JuItin Kou, 8ryIn UUIf, LarI L.IIkun, BIn lMoI, JInnIfw McCrudy, St8vellua1D, o.v. Pat8nI. ....... PwcI, RodIen~, DIn AotDon, MIghIn RoIIIII, fiona RoM, Tblllh Trill, Marw Jane WIIIII, IIcMII WhIImn, JInI WIIIon, Dave Yun

EDITOR EMERITUS: Hila JImiIoft PUBUSHERS EMERm: Aaron Stillman, Eric Lanon

ThlItIcNgIn Revitwllan ~pendent. bI-wee~ studtrHwI jcunaI cI classicallileral and bllarian opi1ion IIlhIlkWetsIy cI MchIgan. We nellher IOIcIIlOI' ~ nUIIIIIy cIonIIIonI tom IhI UrWersly cI McIigIn, and haVllIO II'IYCN Ihar does. We do, howeVer, '**II1II'-- Hem II an noIefarC aer. In adcIion, we IQIM IhII Spa GIaIII • 1m. ContrIbutIonIIO IhI Ych/fJIII RIrittr are 1U-GIdIIda!* under SectIon 501 (c)(3) cI III InIemII Rrttru Code. 1111 Review II not aIIiIIItId will II1f political patty or nerdy political

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Where is the best call1pus bathroolll and why?

lJnIIgnId tcblriIII repmenille opHon cllhIlCIIorIaI boIId. Ergo, IIey are uneqlitoca.btt coned and Just. You neeci'I\ ~ 10 clsprM1he logic IhIl we" iI-.o 1hei IormIIIon, lor you c:annoc Signed articIeI and CM100nI lepl'ellft IhI opI/ionI cllhe auIhor and not necestIIl'J 1tDI cI . . RMttt: 1111 opinions pr8IIIlIId kl1t* pillcIIIon 1II,........tt IlOII clile d ...... or cllhe lJIWtrIIy cI Mchigan. WI welcome ..... and II*in and enc:ourIQI abW IhI JIxmII.

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Andy Cashman L.S.A. Sophomore "Borders. The reading material ;.. plentiful. the latrines are spotle8ll and the atmosp~e i8 relaxing.-

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Jeff Holzhausen L.S.A. Senior «The bathrooms at the

stadium because they are the biggut blue troughs in the countryr

PIIaIe adlNlai ~ 1nq.... 1o: PuIlIIher, do IhI Afc:IIPI ,.,.. AlIdveI1Isilg InqukIea IhoukI be dRctId 10: NiIIfIIf c/o !he AIch/gIJn RIrittr. EdIDrIII And ....... 0IfIDII: ..II One .11 N. ~ AVIII.. Am Arbor,III 4I108-12U

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TIL (111) 10-1101 Fu (111) NW505 ~.,

Karen Knisper RC. Freshman ·1 don It know yet. 1 usually try to wait until 1 get back to my dorm-room, and they suck.-

Bill Leitsch Engineering Freshman (but not for long) «Probably in the Chemistry Building, because it has soap.-

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Love us or hate us, write us. The Michigan Review

Letters to the Editor 911 N. University Ave. Suite One Ann Arbor, MI48109

or email with subject "Letters to the Editor": mrev@umich.edu

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September 27,1995

THE MIClflGAN REVIEW

o THE ELECfruC SNAPPLE ACID TEST

The Understated Elegance of the Straw BY

GREG PARKER

FELL FOR IT. HOOK LINE and sinker. You know those areas by the checkout counter at supermarkets - the ones that surround you with rack upon rack of home pedicure kits, pocket horoacope books, candy bars, key chains, little sewing kits, Wee1ly World New., and Pez diapen.sen - the stu1fyou're not suppoeed to buy? Well, I wu at Meijer the other day, in the checkout line, and I saw what (at the time) seemed. like the greatest invention known to man. This boon to the human race was the straw. Not just any straw, mind you those cute little bandy straws, the flexible ones. The price seemed. reasonable: 49 cents (+ tax) for 50 straws. What a deal Into the cart they went The problem is that you're not supposed to buy the stuff in the dleckout aisles. It is placed there to tease you, to tempt you into a wanton spending spree. Nobody ever buys this stuff - or 10 they say. But the filet ia that ifno one bought any oftheae needless goods they wouldn't be there. People do buy this stuff, whether they like it or not. Just ask any parent who bas put up with a whiny kid for two hours while dragging around two shopping carts filled with groceries. As the kid reaches his climax of shopping center-6ngst, which invariably 0<.nU'8 at the checkout line, the parent will do almost anything to stifle this uproar. Of course, only the junk at the checkout line willsatiatelthe kid, and it is for this reason alone that checkout counter junk marketing is a success. Add all the sorry saps like myself who are drawn to this junk like tornados to trailer parks, and you have instant marketing success. In other words, I gave in. I was broken. At first, I was proud of my purchase. To think that I <X!uld buy flexistraws for a penny a piece. What a great country indeed.. Plus, I would never have to lift another glass - I could simply lean over and sip whatever tasty beverage I wanted as if it were the nectar of the gods. And if I were especially frugal, I could wash and reuse them. Recycling is cool. It wasn't long, however, until I seriowdy questioned my purchase_ It was as if the essence of the whole consumption-based economy that we live in was wrapped up inside my bag of groceries. After all, was it really Ekctric Snapple Tip: When you go to

Meijer, listen for 'TJepo.Ttment 10-over the intercom. It'll MeiJel"--8peal for -8eCunty." Really.

asinine at timee. I just think it's neat that big of a deal to lift up my glass of so useless or trivial, but that they are to really analyze some of the things so marginal. Not many people need instant ked tea (only the best) after a we take for granted. I don't want to straws to get by; the same goes for long hard day at classes (what a tough take on that righteous "you people life)? Ifit ever was too much to lift a corn-cob holders, flashlightl take everything for granted" attitude. keychains, home pedicure kits, or any glass, I think rd better quit whatever other checkout line fodder, ad Rather, I just find it interesting to go it was that was tiring me out so. deeper into seemingly trivial concepts: nauseum infinitum. No one really To make it worse, I had to buy the needs to have in this case, the object is the straw. flexi-etraws. I could've got- i , . My straw analysis might be a reacthis stuff, but evten by with the regular old eryone buys it tion to what my friends did when I straight straws, but I opted informed them I had bought a packanyway. 'The offor the good stuff - the flexificial motto of age of straws at Meijer: not only was straws. Only the best, I say. I called a decadent-bourgeois-impeour consumption Now I approach my drink at a rialist-pig, I was also labeled as lazy based society: I better angle. (though a few thought the straws were I could probably justify don't need this, and promptly used them). I'm cool my decadent purchase of but Hell, it really exaggerating here, but my friends doelln't cod straws. Being an economics made me think. Are straws worth it? much 40 I think major, I could enter a cost-What does a straw do for me? I'll buy it anybenefit analyzation of the way. But&mdowd~Ithinkit'sh~thy straw. Let's see: with tax inI'm not here to think about small things - to think cluded, each straw cost 1.04 about the impact, influence and practo condone or cents. So it seems that (asticality of some of the more commonsuming I don't recycle the Straws: fresh ffom the DICkaae condemn this place, taken-for--granted things in economy of constraws) the luxury of not havour world. Straws, com-cob holders, ing to lift my glass costa me a whop- ..sumption, this economy of buy, Buy, BUY. While it exhibits many ironies 'the Weekly World Newll - the list ping 1. 04 cents. 9f"c6urBe, I could be goes on. Maybe ~ rn take a closer really lazy and connect the straws to ... and paradoxes, I can't really say for look at tboee damn paper plates - on sure whether consumption for each other so I wouldn't even have to second thought, an entire column on consumption's sake is good or bad lean towards the glass. I .figure an st;raws was more than enough. Mt though it seems really decadent and average offour straws to accomplish this, 10 l1n spending 4.16 cents to not , , ." only never pick up my glue but to never even lean towards my glass. Of course, I didn't figure in the time it took me to go to the store, or the cost of gas, etc., but the paint is that straws are pretty cheap. Aside from luxury, straws have a utilitarian side. They aid in drinking beverages with whipped cream. on top - a mocha, for instance. It saves one the faux pas of going through a coffee house meeting with a whipped cream. mustache. Straws also make cool spitwad shooters, and they make neat , noises when rolled up and popped. However cheap straws are, though, I still have a hard time actually using them.. I unwrapped my package of 50 straws and put them in a glass, where they currently invite me to place them in the beverage of my choice. But I can't bring myself to use them. I must have some sort of strawcomplex - or maybe it has to do with Drive. Intensity Those aren't words ter,self-confidence am decision-making the fact that my supply of straws is you're likely to see in many course skills. Again, words other courses selrequirements, Then again, Army ROI'C dom use. But they're the credits you finite. Freud would have a field day is unlike any other elective. It's need to succeed in life. ROTC is with me. I guess I could run back to hands-on excitement. ROTC will open to freshmen and sophomores Meijer and buy more straws, but this Challenge , you mentally and physwithout obligation and requires thought doesn't squelch my fear. To ically through intense leadership about 4 hours per week. Register think. what I would do without my training. Training that builds characthis term for Army ROTC. precious straws. There are a lot of goods in our economy similar to straws. PersonTIE SMUTEST COLLEGE CORSE YOU CD TAlE. ally, I consider com-oob holders to be quite extravagant, along with those For details, vts1t Room 131, North Hall or call 764-3029 bastardly convenient flashlightl keychain type things. I guess it's not so much that goods like the straw are

PBEREOmsm: ADRENAilNE

ARMY ROTC

i;',

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

SeptemberZ],1995

o FROM SUITE ONE y

Open Up the Hearings! VER THE PAST SEVERAL YEARS, THE WORD "SECRECY" AND

the University of Michigan have become nearly synonymous. First, there was the scandal concerning the closed search for University President that finally resulted in the decision to hire James Duderstadt. Then, there was this summer's failure of closed hearings to determine the fate of the Code. Through these and other incidents, the University has shown its disregard for the rights and opinions of students. Although some confidential issues may require closed hearings, these recent events directly involve the rights and welfare of students - hardly a topic that require. confidentiality. When the University holds hearings to discusa policy that is applicable to the rights and responsibilities of the student oommunity, there can be no question that students must have some means to become involved.. '11leee participants cannot be hand-picked students, or, as in the case of the ao-aill.ed "code jurors," randomly-picked students; and they certainly cannot be paid graduate students who see their task as a job and not as a voluntary service to the student body. 1be only way to ensure that students are fhlrly and adequately represented is to allow every student access to these bearl.ngw. 'lhe fact that the University does not always accommodate student input suggests that it holds the opinions of students to be of little or no importance. This attitude is eapecially unforgivable because the University, as a state institution, is an arm of a supposedly democratic government. The taxpayers , of this state, including a large number of students, deserve to have University ~ proceedingB open to them 80 that they can enaure that the U-M is spending their money appropriately, and that their elected ot1icials are acting in"a manner which is acceptable to them. :. ECENTLY THERE APPEARED IMAGES ON THE NEWS MANY In addition, since all students stand to be the priIr)ary victims of plans drafted or precedents set in these closed sessions, students deserve the right to lla.d,- though~ they w~ never see: a ~ J?ublic protest in Tahiti. Most . do not OOllSlder Tahiti to .be a place ofpoliUca1 unrest. But those people know what types ofpoJiciee the University ia implementing. They deserve this >' " ,' , " right not cm1y to protect themeeJves, but to protect each other as well. To tbia had a very good reason to be outraged: the French government is resuming end, the University must open the meetings of both the regents and nuclear weapons testing in their veritable backyard. administrators, especially when issues such as the Code and administrative It is regrettable, to say the least, that France has decided to continue searches are at band. 80 that students as well as the general public may become underground and undersea nuclear weapons testing. It shows that France involved. The University must begin to give students more access to its apparently does not care about the opinions ofits citizens residing in French decision-makjng processes. tenitories, who have angrily denounced such testing. Furthermore, the In a recent proposal, Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) President Flint government still fails to listen to the opinions of alru\iority of citizens. Ignoring Wainess suggests that the colleges and schools of the U-M allow for student angry protests and a general feeling of discontent, France will oontinue in its representation on their executive boards. 'This is an excellent proposal, but it quest to detonate nuclear weapons. This callousness towards the possible does not go nearly filr enough. The problem with student representation is that consequences of exploding a very large nuclear device is frightening. What if the Univenity.rather than the students themselves, often select the students something goes wrong? '!he people living in the South Pacific oould very well be who aball eerve'l'8 representatives - a pr00e&8 no more democratic than closed affected by it. A nudear weapon is not just a toy that goes "boom" and makes meeting8 themselves. Aside from having student representation on boards, the a neat light. U-M must make a IIincere efIbrt to allow any student with interest, regardless '!he government's line is that by testing a few nuclear bombs, it will be of school or daaa, tQ attmld at will. and must make summaries of its proceedings ensuring that its entire nuclear arsenal will be functional. It is questionable, 88 available to students aa much as possible, in the event that they are unable however, that by testing a very small percentage of the hundreds of warheads to attend. Although syaU.mls such as that which the Freedom ofInfonnation Act the French government can make reasonable assumptions about the entire mandatee exist to obtain such information in many cases, in a community like arsenal. the U-M, it is neoeaaary to go beyond these complex systems with which What is disturbing about these tests is that they not only show a lack. of students are unfamiliar, and make information more readily available. feeling for the French and also all other inhabitants of the South Pacific, but One common complaint on campus is that there are entirely too many they also set a poor example for other nations that are working on (or are administrators present. At least one ofthoee administrators should be removed considering beginning) nuclear weapons prograID8. Aside from the five declared frorn. his or her cummt assignment and be given the task of creating a coherent, "nuclear powers," it is well known that many other countries have been working easy-to-use system by which records of University hearings can be made on or simply possess nuclear weapons. A few selected, but by no means the only, available, both electronically and physically. In a day when one can easily and countries include Iraq, North Korea, and South Aliica. quicldy go to the library and pull government prese-releases and bills oft' of the France, by disregarding international and domestic opinions from other Internet, there ia no reason why information conceming the proreedinga of the nations and peoples about its nuclear testing, sends a strong signal to future University cannot be easier to obtain. nuclear countries that if a nation is deteImi:ned enough, it will not be stopped The University baa claimed that it attempts to foster an atmosphere of from making or testing its own bombs. A test explosion can also be a show of learning and undentanding among students. Many students want to learn strength. And when that Sixth Nuclear Power, ifhaving decided to scuttle the about the way the Univel'aity i1Belf operatee, about what issues will affect them Non-Proliferation Treaty, has its bombs working and ready, what's going to stop it from testing them? Or, for that matter, using them? The danger that and students of the future. They want to take a part in all of this, and the University baa a duty to oblige them. nuclear weapons could fall into the hands of an unbalAnced leader is still a very Many academics tend to think that the students of today are not nearly as real one, especially with the fall of the Soviet Union. active a. students of the 1960&. Perhaps it is not that students are apathetic, Hopefully, France will desist from its coldblooded nuclear testing policy. By but that they no longer have the means to access the information that they doing 80, it will show that it is friendly to its citi2ens outside ofFranoe proper, want, or to become involved in the proce88 of dedsion-making at the University. and also that it does not wish nuclear weapons to spread anymore than they Students of the 19908 know that cooperation with the University is more already have. Mt -Ben Keppk effective than protest, but, sadly, the U-M allows only protest as an option. Mt

0 COMMENTARY

No Nukes, France

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septe:ailier 27~-1995

THE MICH:IGAN REVIEW

o THE INFORMATION SUPERSTOPSIGN

Ivory Tower Syndrome BY MOHAN KruSHNAN

LOVE IT WHEN SPEAKERS come to campus and tell us who we are and what we are. '!hey tell us we're apathetic, boring, sheltered, comatose, dead. or maybe if we're lucky, racist, aexist, and claasist. Whatever they tell us. it's always because we're sheltered here at the University. You know how it is: mom and pop pay the billa, those strange people with hairnets give you food if you show them your ro, and that nice lady cleans the toilet. Heck, you can even go 1» the store and buy atuffwith your ID. Everyone knows that if you can uee Mcard, it means you don't have to pay for it. People try to convince us that because we're not starving, alcoholic, homeless people, or button-pushing. hourly-wage, blue-collar zombies, somehow the experience that we're living isn't a real one. I couldn't imagine why - doesn't everyone sit around in their suburban houses liateniDg to the Smiths, reading from Marcel Proust, and playing cards into the night? Seriously, I looked at my parent. and :my fri.ende' parenta and my older fiienda, and I didn't see any reason to believe that thinga would be different after college. When I started writing this, I wanted to blast these people fur saying my life was unrealistic, but as I started, I had a frightening realization: they're right. When I was four years old, and still riding a Big Wheel, I used to look at the kids who oonaidered themselves adults (they were probably twelve) and was absolutely infatuated with their lives. I made plans for what I would do when I became older, about doing the grown-up thinga that they did. Aa BOOn as I got there, though, I W88 amtionted wi1h ~ older people, who went to some place called High School and drove care. Aa you can probably gueea, next I found out about this college thing (and of course, I wanted 1» go) and now that I am here, everyone is talJriDg about the real life and the work-e-day world, and how, despite the fad that I cook for myself and work during the SImmers to help pay for echool, I'm baaically just an overgrown kindergartner, and that I really haven't BUrpa88ed the Big Wheel days by mucl1. :rve oome to the CODClusi.on that as I progress in life, I'll never escape the

Mohan KrWanan

u ajunior in aero-

8pOCe ~ and ~r of the

Review.

m4TU:11Pn8 edi.-

belief that I'm livingjust to the left (or part of it is the outlook. Here, covered right) of reality. It's like that oft'by a canopy of maize and blue, where white color. It's not white, and yet it's soup grows on trees in Campbell's not beige. 'Ibis world that I live in cans and pizza is a food group, we isn't quite reality, but it's not quite have the time to orient our lives on utopia either. specific goals, and devote oU1"8elvee to accomplishing them. However, at least for me, the whole point of college is to tiptoe 'This isn't so much a privilege as it around that whole world 1M K ,''''''» _. \Ii >:a;: ca: 2 _ ;;::;. ~·. I ofboring, menial jobs and lives not worth living. I came here because I want to do something that 111 actually enjoy for the rest of my life. Without that, college would be a joke, at least to me. On the other hand, it will probably make me economically comfortable as well '!bat's where the problem comes in. 'That's what ensures that I'll step Wel~ if, aort of ... _Ivory Tower into another life a.fter the U-M that's not the real world. With .. is a responsibility. I don't want to ", any luck, I won't ever know unem- ~ sound egocentric, but the people who have this chance will likely be the ploym.ent or have to tum 1» the bottle to drown my SOITOWs. ones who affect their fields the most, 'Ihat's what I mean by the Ivory and who will have the most profound Tower Syndrome. It's that hopeless impact on the world. 'Ibis isn't a cerWing that there'. ~ world out . . .r there that wecim never understand; and even if we try to do so, no one would ever admit that we do. When I meet someone here who knows what the real world is like, I always love to listen to them and get some feeling for what they've experienced, but it is still incomprehensible to me. I haven't figured out how to deal with this. I don't think there's any way to become part of this real world, at least not any way I can accept. At the same time, I don't see my world as any better or worse than the real world, just di1ferent. And yet, there's a kind of d.i8cannection, a kind of gap between me and the few people I meet around here that aren't like me in this reapect. I tried watching MTV's show, tM Real World, but I came to the conclusi<m tbat it is the cmly show on TV that

tainty, but, given the advantages of the sheltered life, anything lese than perfection is miserable failure. Whether or not we like to admit it, the issues we face in the Ivory Tower are just as momentous as the question of life and death - they are questions of emotional and intellectuallife and death. The thing that bothered me to begin with is that when we dismiss our time here as being a sheltered, unrealistic experience, we somehow come to the conclusion that our tiine here is unimportant as well. We decide that the skills we hone here and the knowledge we obtain will never be used again, like the pile of stuffin the closet that came £rem the Home Shopping Network. When we do this, we take a great opportunity aDd 1luah it down the toilet. I guess. now that I look at the big picture. Ivory Tower Syndrome ian't a curse, a blessing, a myth. or a limited experience. It just is. It's the interfB.ce we have with life and the only one we'll ever have. I don't know about you, but I plan on making the best of it.'lt's all I've got. )R

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is more unrealistic than Beverly HilU • V 90210.ltriedtopidtthingsupinthe I 0 s~er factory jobs I was "blessed" I For a tax-deductible contribution of $25 or mOl'e, you will receive a one-year Wlth for the past couple of years, and I subscription which includes 13 bi-weekly issues and the 1996 Summer Orientation I did catch a little bit, but I'm. still I Issue. trying to decipher those few tidbits, IpI d b " tie n to" 6-'--later. now, mODWlB I ease sen my.su scnp 0 " Don't get me wrong; rm not try_ I Name: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ ing to say that I'm rich and that everythings been provided for me, IAddress: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ and that makes me better than every- I . one else. rm really not, it really I City: State: Zip: _ _ _ __ doesn't, and this isn't just a money I Please make check or money order payable to: iseue anyway. While financial seen- I THE MICHIGAN REVIEW rity seems to be a prerequisite to L ____91.!;N~U.:v=:z,=:.<:.::.~.!p!:!!=:-~_ .J Ivory Tower Syndrome, the biggest

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THE MIcmGAN REVIEW

September 27,1995

o EsSAY

The BY

MOHAN KRISHNAN

HERE IS LITTLE DOUBT

that public universities and oollegea in the United States are among the greatest contenders in the race ~ perfect e4ucation. Like all public acboola, the U-M and it. fellow iDltitutiona represent a promise. 'This pl"01Di8e ie that any capable student ahouJdhavetbeability-perbapethe right - to a place in which to pursue their higher education. As our eyes have opened wider over the yean, this haa come to mean that, despite race, gender, religion, sexual preference, or socioeconomic background, there ehould be institutes of higher learning awilable tn worthy students. Like anything else in a living democracy such as the United States, tbi8 ie an ewlving prooesa. Many ~ grams have, over the yean, been inIJti.tu1M tn provide special educational opportunitiee to epedal groupe. These include aiDgle sender echools, special involvement programs, and of course -affirmative action. " 1heae chanpa are still oocuning, and today they are perhape more important than ever, as we stand on the edge of a chasm of immense proportions and uncertain depths, and watch our achoole tumble over. Don't believe me? lBrs start with a rouple ofnamea. Pete Wilson. Sound famiHar? Yes, the governor of Califorrua and now Republican presidential hopeful signed an executive order this summer that (oroea the University of California sch~ (UCLA, Berkeley, etc.) to dismantle their affirmative action system. on the basis that it unfairly diacriminates against students because of their race. Many Californians, particularly among thoee benefited by the change, cheer his action as righting a wrong. Many others denounce it, claiming that it is a racist, hateful policy that ie part of a perceived puah for -ethnic cleansing'" in California, along with Proposition 187 and other measures. Another name i. Shannon Faullmer. Th.ia student fOund herself in the mid.at of an astounding mesa as she sought tn enter Citadel. Citadel is a state funded military academy that baa traditionally been open only to males. Ms. Faulkner was admitted becauae she omitted her gender from. her application, and, upon her later rejection, sued the echool for entry rights. Although Ms. Faulkner later left the academy, she has become aometbing of a martyr tn her support. era. Many behind her liken the situation to raciallyeegregated schoole before Brown v. The Boord of Educa-

Edu~Sltiona1

Legacy

tional SY8tem? This way, we accomplish a number of things. First, we address the rights of ignored. groups, such as the poor among whites and Asians, who are not aided by Affirmative Action. Second, this approach is grounded in actually solving the problem, unlike methods like affirmative ~ves. Opponentsclalln ~----------------------------------, action that look good on paper and that a special opportuthen fiill tn make real changes. 'Ihird. _ nity with proven benefit. it provides a framework that can to its students would be handle new and unexpected problems, lost, and that such a loss because it addresses a general case would be an and not specific i88Ues. unforgiveable mistake. There are a lot ofbasic questions These two events to be asked here. First, do we still may seem unrelated at believe that males and females are tint, but consider this: diffurent enough to educate them. sepatint off, they both conrately? Second, what is a coherent cern all schools that are filter that we can use to determine publicly funded because just which segments of the populathey set a precedent. SecShould boya and girls alwaya a.n toaeIter? tion are and are not undel'-repreond, they both address a sented. 'Ibird, at what levels should key question: how exactly should we • vide opportunities not found at female schools. 'This is the primary reakeep our legacy of providing an open this problem be tackled: should we son "separate but equal" was found to focus on hiring practices, or college forum for education? be unconstitutional: it is seemingly education, or secondary or primary A keY.1l811;' of this issue is to "!llimpossible. education, or should we focus on comderstand why these two systems amle Yet, this differs from. the affirmamunity programs that target entire to be, and what-is wrong, ifanything, tive action issue becau"e beret studneighborhoods instead of specific inwith them. Affirmative action starts iee do~w. that singJ,esex inltitu1'.e!:·· dividual.? Fo~, ,what are the apefrom the Undel'lJtapdillg ~t hiJt;orie and economic reasOns prevent undeJ.-. o1fer advantages that coedttcatiotlal cific long term ha.rm.s to people or represented racial minorities from ones do not. Furthermore, we must groupe ofpeople that we want tn comobtaining higher education. Its intenconsider that it will cause great disbat, and which specific problem areas tion is to bring minorities into colruption and even greater expense, to are at the root of each oftbese harms? leges, and thereby better jobs, so the dismantle them and make all public The end effect of this project schools tntally coeducational. Rem.em.should be a dramatic one. We should cbiJdren ofthese student. will be much more likely to attend college thember that nearly every school offers make true that unspoken promise that selves, and increase economic comprograms and opportunities that are we hold so dear, that every citizen of fort among their minority. In theory, closed off to one gender, typically tbi8 coun1ry should have the opportuaffirmative action should mandate its males. At the U -M alone, we have nity to succeed, given that they have own decline as it succeeds, because it exclusively female housing and no the will and the ability necessary. should permanently increase the ensuch male housing, and successful 'Ibis is not a cheap solution. Bear rollment of undel'--represented misingle-gender programs such as no mistake that this will cost AmeriWomen in Science and Engineering. norities. cans milliOJl8 of dollars. Whether that However, this is diametrically In their usual fashion, the U.S. money comes from private sources or opposed to reality, where there is a court system did maJl8ge to show us through taxation, do not doubt that it constant call for increasing the exactly how not to solve these probis necessary. In policy like this, more amount ofpreferen.tial treatment. So, lems. In allowing Ms. Faulkner to than anywhere else, you get what you it would appear that affirmative acattend Citadel, the oourta decreed that pay for: cheap solutions and quick tion is not a solution tn the problem. at there be a number of exceptions and band-aids are the social equivalent of all, butiB--r atheraband-aid that ends . modifieations made to Citadel to acsubstituting a tarpaulin for a roof. up hurting the well--:repreeented while commodate her. 'This is the worst kind 'Ibis is alao not an easy solution. firl1ing tn help the unde!'-l'epreeented.. of band-aid: it solves the problem for In. order tn really change things and tn 'lben again, we must realize the other only one person. Should Citadel congive every student acces8, we need to reason we have affinnative action now tinue to be forced tn let women attend, change attitudes tint. Everyone on - it is easy and inexpensive. A sysit will, by this precedent, continually both. sidee ofthe issues must agree on tem proposed to actually solve the have tn spend large amount. ofmoney the problem and agree on a solution. problem of racial inequity would be to hack itself into a coeducational Beyond that, in order to help those expensive (it would need to focus prischool one woman at a time. In.stead, who are caught in the viscous cycle of marily on changing attitude and opthe courts sboukl have EIl8tted a wid&poverty and crime and \memployment, portunity in the urban areas where ranging policy that addresses such we must make them change their the under--represented tend to live, "segregation" in all its instances. attitudes, their priorities, and make not at the universities), and it would The same is true for affirmative them believe they can 8llCCIeed.. be unpopular, because jt would. either action. We need to explore the larger It is possible that, given a hunquestion, that encompasses both of dred years more, the colleges and be hailed as a racist non-eolution or as a waste of money. these issues. That question is, aimuniversities of the United States will On the other hand, single sex ply, what do we and don't we want to still be dominant leaden in educado in. orckr to 80lve tlu! hi8toric probtional opportunity, but only if we acschools were fOunded on a very differlem of di3crimination in tlu! educaent basis than our modem. view of tively seek to make them so. Mt

tion of Topeka, citing the Supreme Court ruling in that case that says that "separate but equal" 'forms of education are discriminatory and unconstitutional, and demand that all public schools that are single sex should begin to "desegregate" them-

equal rights and equal access. They were founded on the view that the two genders are fundamentally different and that education can best target them if they are taught separately. However, the problem with this is obvious tnday: some male schools pro-

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September Z7, 1995

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o FEATURE SERIES: UNRAVELING THE GORDIAN KNOT

University-speak Hides the Truth BY ANTHONY KAwIiU.JS AND BRYAN

LAUER '"When id«UI fail.. wom. come in very handy.-

-Goethe

HEN U-M PRESIDENT Jamee Dudentadt publicly called the Univendty of Michigan a "Corporation aerviDg the Nation," he probably meant to emphube the latter paJt of the phrase, 8U(Il88ting that the work of the University ultimately beneflta even tboae people who do not directly pBrti.cipa18 in its activitiea. Yet to anyone who still naively believes that the University is primarily a place oflearrrlng, the use of the word "OOIpOI1ltion- may be rather unnerving. After all, a corporation haa only one objective, namely to make a profit. A mere curaory knowledge of our Anthony KaldellU i. (lgnuiuate .tvdent in history; Brye&n lAger ia (I Hnior in philo.ophy (1M politicaJ. acience. Thill;' the fint 0((1 feature tteriea on political di8courae.

University should reveal to even the least perceptive among us that green is the primary color in this inatituti<Bl's rainbow. All that childish blather about "higher education" is, of course, noble, but altogether beside the point. All accountability is upwards, with high-powered administrators

new physics building, but how many of them will actually use its stat&-ofthe-art particle accelerators? In light of these facts, it is strange that some feel the University is becoming too much like a corporation; indeed our U- M achieved that lofty status long ago. We are, in met, hurtling toward a more ambiti0U8 step on the evolutionary ladder than many coUld have possibly imagined. Soon will come the glorious day when the U-M Corporation will ascend to the U-M Sovereign State. If this sounds far-fetched, consider that the University already poe8es8e8 the following organs of government: a chief executive, a police force. a judiciary which enfO:rce8 an independent, JlOJHlcademic peJJalC;ode, a bureaucracytbat grows inexorably, and a healt1rcare syart;em. Nonethele88, sOme still supeat thatecblcation ·is of primary importance! Are they aware that student tuition in filet am.ounta to only 15% oftbia fledgling state's income? As one profesaor bas noUd, the leadership shoUld dismiss the students, fire the faculty, and get about its businessl Ml.

After all, what better way to attract "talented" elites from the business w<Hid? (And we all know how ta1en~ provosts need to be ... ) The University's priorities are clearly displayed in the rapid hiring of such administrative types. whereas teaching staf'fmembers are dBclini.ng pro-

8UchaaMaureen~ ~i----------------------------------' ford candidly admitting that it is her _uperio,..

with whom ahecongers to monitor the pUlse of the students. Indeed, what provost haa ever asked for student input? (Incidentally, ever wonder what exactly it is that a provost does for "higher education?") Furthermore. CEO Duderstadt himself i claimed that "aharebo1d---l ere" and the regents are PolitIcal chcouee: The a1 of datwIIIon the Ultimate m.ap.ers of his reins. .' portionately. Following.good business Aa befits any ~ cor- seIUJe, t.hese cOrporate minions invest poration, the U-M paysits adminismillions in buildirigs .and "projects" aimed at yielding R&D grants. trators up to four times what it pays its mere technicians (i.e. profes~rs). Studen~ may feel proud of tJ;l.~. L '_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

o EsSAY

Mcard: Jack of All Trades BY ANTHONY WEN

CARD

THIS YEAR'S

newest mnovation from our friends at the Fleming Administration Building. Precl.aely one year after introducing a: new identification card with a new student ID number, Mcard bas been unveiled as thenew U-M ID card. Never mind the met that no one actually has used the new student ID number; Mcard is supposed to 80m all our problems. Mcard 11 not only an ID card though. It has two financial aspecta~ the BankStripe and the CaahChip. 'lhe BankStripe ia linked to a First of America checking account and can be used at various stores and reataurants for any value purchase. 'lhe CashCbip stm'es value on the card. up to $50 and can be used for smaller purchaaea. It works like the mmi1iar library copy card; you can add value to the card by sticking it. and some money, into a machine. 'lhe Mcard

SoTMtimu, Tony IUU his Mcard to dio.ll-900 num.benl without hU parent. Imowin(J.

be used from any Citrus netwolkATM to withdraw money. Couldn't this be extended so the BankStripe feature could be used at any bank. on the Cirrus network? In fact, ATM cards linked to bank accounts are already used for point--of-pu.rcll.aae sales in many places. Perhape the reason UM has limited Mcard to First of America and local merchants is, in their words, "to exercise some control over merchants who were part of the program to insure that they do, indeed, contribute to the student experience." It seems that the BankStripe feature of the Mcard replicates the common ATM card available from almost any bank, except that it is sanctioned by the U-M, must be used with a First of America account. and can only be used on or near campus. Mcard is touted as a replacement for many of the cards we cany already: the student ID card, ATM auUs. and ca11ing cards. It's also seen as a complete replacement for cash and checks. If this goes too far, the U-M and First of America will control all student finances. As if they don't have enough of our money already. Mt

able before and, for many, there is can also function as an AT&T calling great incentive to open an account at card. As the ads say, "'Ihere's almost First of America instead of elsewhere. nothing this card won't do." Other competing banks are hurt by Why are some local merchants this exclusivity. At Parent Orientadissatisfied with the Mcard? 'lhe protion, parents ate also infunned about cesaing surcharge per transaction is Mcard, and many felt the need to four Percent, which is significantly higher than the aver- zc _ .. .. CJ. age credit card surcharge. And since the minimum processing fee is 40 ce~ts regardless of the transaction amount, some merchant. actually lose money on ·small pur~. . U-M literature says that "all students will amy the Mcard by Fall 1995" since it is the official University identification card. 'The WIth IIcIrd, you hive time for .. 1hIt other stuff. U- M is able to indoctrinate the freshmen, but how will they force current stuopen an accOunt at First of America dent. to switch over? All freshmen for their children as well. Granted'; First of America has the receive the new Mcard at Orientation whether they want it or not. 'lhey most branches on and near campus don"t know what programs were availthen any other bank. But Mcard can .,.."_ ....

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

September '.n, 1995

o INTERVIEW: CHRIS HODGES

A Code O

Repres~ntative

N SEPTEMBER 24, GENE Knu. of the Review interviewed CIuU HodBa, a member of the r.vorlwroUP t1uJt u currently

writilw a 1U!W Statement ofStudents'

Rig,," and RapoMibilitia. MR: Whit. brttftr.1t 1M dutJ of the Code WOItgroup'I

Hodaee: To help VICe-President for Student Affaire Maureen Hartford gather input 1lom. studenta, atafl: f8c.. ulty, and national experts. Then to put these ideaa and auggestione 1;0gether into a recommendation in the form of a new Code. MR: DId . . _lIgIoup II1CCI&riIr IIff prob""" oohctJng IntonnIIIon ow. the turnrnIf whIn IIIOIt of1ht ItudInIt . . . not on CIfI1)UI? ApIrt from 1ht ~ended open Code forume, how It the workgroup trying to n'IIXin_1tudent q,ut now that •• ot the Itudna hive NMned to campua?

Hodaee: We got most of our summer student input from the campus drop boxea and from focus groups that we had withltudent organizations. Many

vice on how to collect input, and she helps set up meetings with national experts. Otherwise, they do not get involved, due to the fear of skewing our process. Honestly, a little more help or involvement would be nice to help expediate the process of ~

student organizations had a few membel'B left here over the summer halfterm, and they often represented themselves or their organizations. Now that students have come back, we have continued the focus groups, we have our e-mail addresa (workgro~ch.edu),

our Internet page (http:// . www.umich.edul-sslTl). the drop boxes, and our open staffmeetings {Monday, 10:30-11:30, Welker Room of the Michigan Union). Despite repeated requests, the Michigan Daily has yet to publicize our Internet address or the Monday meetings.

MR: What Ire the roles of MaW-88ft Hartford Ind JudIcItI Advisor Mary Lou AntIeau, If any, In the drafting Ind InforlIlItIon-decting process?

The Code workgroup holts III open forum.

, .,

Hodges: Little to none. They have both made very clear that this is our show and that they won't interfere in the process. Antieau helps with ad-

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Staie~oI gtuJe,d R~GHJ R~IJ, ~ ~J,

_ _ _ _ _ __

To sigt\ e-mail the Michigan Review at mrev@umich.edu or mail this with your signature and name to the Michigan Review at: Reverse Pledge 911 N. University, Ste. 1 Ann Arbor, MI 48109

.. _-----------------------_ .. .For more infonnation or for a petition of the Reverse Pledge, contact the

Hodges: None. Never. Dr. Hartford is as high as we go for discussion of progress.

MR: Do you, or any of the workgroup members, have any experience In lilY IegII or Idmlnlslrallve process similar to 1ht dr8ftlng of I conduct code?

Join other students, alumni, and parents and sign the Reverse ·Pledge. The Reverse Pledge states that you will not give money to l\4Pact, the Senior Pledge, or any other UniversitY-sponsored funding drive until the Statement of Student Rights and Responsibilities (the Code) is abolished. Apparently, student disapproval of the Code is not important to the U-M , so we must deny the University what it cares most about - money.

u...

regents and the workgroup been keeping in con1act?

Hodaes: She left in late June or early July. 111e three undergraduates were added around the aame time.

Sign the Reverse Pledge

MtUUIIf ID.

quem formation d the original fotx-rnember workgroup, how often, H It In, hive the

MR: When did Anne Marie ellison 'leave'the workgroup, Ind when . .e the thr.. undergradulte ltudents lidded to the worI9oup?

for permission to place drop boxes, for example, but they've both beengreat in refusing tA) alter any of our input or opiBione. ~

Speaks Out

Review.!

About how"*'Y hotn per week does Itt workgroup Into wrIIIng the new Code? How IOOCh ... the memberI being paid?

Hodges: As of now, we have six or seven members. We each spend, at minimum, 20 hotih a week of gathering input, meeting, and writing. I know that some members have ex, ~ed 40 hours per week as oflate due to all of the work that we have. We get tT an hour, the standard. U-M wage. Quite honestly, none ofus could dord to spend this time on the Code without being paid. I don't think any of us are exactly doing hot in any of our classes right now. I know that I personally spend more time per week on the Code than sleeping, and I have another job and 17 credits as well!

Hodges: I do not, but I cannot speak on the behalfofothermembel'B. I believe that three of the membershSve some experience with university codes. MR: After the workgroup preeentlits draft to the regents, and the regents approve It, will the draft become official right then and there? If the regents disapprove d the chft, will they wrhe I code themseIveI or send the workgroup back to revise It?

Hodges: If the regents disapprove of the draft, they will write their own. Or U-M President James Dudentadt has said that he will implement a code from another school, such as Hanrard of the Univel'Bity or California at Berkeley. MR: Rnally, Hlhe regents hive .n apparently de.- Id. of whit they want In thIt code, and hive I final say ov. what goal Into It, why, In your opinion, even have I WOIkgroup?

Hodges: It is, honestly, political to a MR: At their AprIl 12 meeting, the regents made It clew 1hIt there wi. be I code. Apart from 1hIt, hive the regentI given any guJd&. linea II to whit mutt be Included in this code, IpIrt from the fedenII mandate requirIng '" llcohol and drug, I ..xUlll8S8ult, Ind I hazing policy, and what are those guidelines?

Hodges: They want a clear and concise, non-legalistic Code. It Should be shorter, and should try to involve mediation. MR: SInce the regents' meeIIng and aubse-

large degree. 111e regents did, how-

ever, charge Dr. Hartford with writing the Code and told her to involve student input. 'I1lia is how she's done that. Still, the regents don't want a Code that does not 1ive" with the UM community and they don't want to spend the time to do this on their own. They would rather that one be presented that can be permanent. So we are around to try to help get a code written that coITeSponds with what is wanted by the U-M community as a whole and will still work realistically and legally. Mt

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SepteJ:llb6r Zll 1995

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o REALIST VS. IDEALIST U-M Should Not Sell Its Soul !. ~ (~1"

BY BENoJAMIN KEPPLB

HE UNIVERSITY OF Michigan·" is an institution that ahould fooua on one thing: academics. '!he role of the University is to teach students to become edU,. cated and productive m.emben of s0ciety by teaching them. expertise in a field of study 'Iherole of the University of Michiganftia not to beeome involved with 1arge corporationa. '!he role is not to become an intermediary and act aa a banker, nor should it go out of its way to make it poaeible for businessea to sell clothing with the gleeful, cheery University logo on it. Furthermore, the University of MichiganT" does not need to engage in these activities. '!he University is a highly respected institution that is known throughout the oountry for the excellence of its academics. As such. the University does not need to enter into deals to make money 80 its logo can be featured onto thia week's new Nike™ U-~ sneaker. People will go see football gameaand yell Go Blue, J:"e(l8l"dless of whether we are spon~ BOred. by Nike, Snapple, or any other

Why would any student from out oorporate patron. And the University of state get any other bank but FOA? will continue to have a great aca~ Wl:ly would any in-state student not demic reputation whether or not its switch? Along with that, now that all logo is on t-shirts that people buy. of these students have tM Mca.rd, Great academic institu1ions, such every business in town that wants to as Harvard, Yale, MIT, Bucknell, and try to get student businesa needs to others, have all gotten alongjust fine aooept the MamltAnd graciously, they whenitcom.ea to academics; money, are given that right by the UniVersity and student ae1ectivity, regardless of and the bank. As in, a four percent cut whether high school senior Bill Myers on purchases from BankStripe in Scottdale, Pennsylvania and coupled with a 40 cent minimum on 100,000 others nationwide wear cloth~ aU BankStripepurchases. jug with their college logo. For selling So if you go buy a candy bar from this apparel makea nodift"erence in the guy who nms the food mart aC1"088 how the colleges can educate their the street, he stands to lose money on students. the deal. Now what kind of good busi~ Another point concerning the ness policy is that? Yet, if he didn't University's involvement in private have the Mcard. when you want to go business deals with the Mcard. Ab., buy your groceries for that week with yes, the Mca.rd. We can use it as our the Mcard, you wouldn't go to him, ATM card, our copy card, or our li.. most likely you would make a $20 brary card. '!he problem with all of pUJChase with your CashChip or your this? It is a veritable stranglehold on BankStripe ~wbere else. '!he busi~ students and small busine88 by the University and the one bank with .neSBe8 really don't have. a choice in the matter because by notsubscribwhich the Univenlty agreed to run the Mca.rd. It allows monopolies to • ingtheycanonlyloee busine88, Yet by . occur, and in a way this is happening, subscribing,·. they can get hurt too, as in the al88 ofbenking with First of and it is because the U-M is acting America (FOA). like a oorporation.

As for students in this matter, they are hurt tOo. If they are not at FOA, they are at a disadvantage because they have to transfer their ac~ counts to FOA to use the M-Canl. They might not want to or can't do that, and this also doesn't help other banks or credit unions, for how can they compete with the pUlVe)1Ol" of the Mcard? '!bey just can't offer that combina1ian of a University ID card, ATM card, debit card, library card, meal planca.rd ... It is too bad that trademarking is now such a reality, because in a perfeet world it should not exist in the University environment of higher education. For when people decide what school to attend, 99.9% don't care about how the schoolfs football team is ranked, or whether it has an Mcard or similar debit system. 1hey choose on academic quality. 'lbat is how the University should present itself, as Ii provider of outstanding, quality edu~ cation, and not as a spiffy corporate ·1080 or as a place where everything is a oonstant party. Hey, that's Michigan StateT... Ml.

Corporate FundtngMn't'SoBa.d BY PAT EsKEW

F HE COULD DO so, MICHAEL Eisner probably would want to rule the world. As it stands now he simply owns a \ large chunk of America's communication and culture markets. Mickey and Minnie are cleaning house all over the world and some people are getting scared. Alongaide the fiika from. Anaheim, Bill Gates ofMiC2'Cl8O.ft and Phil K:n.igb.t at Nike have been making waves in.a new style of aggressive marketing campaigns. . Last year. Nlke signed collegiate athletic department. throughout the nation to one of the most controver~ sial marketing campaigns in the his~ tory of amateur atble1ics. '!he Uni~ versity of Michigan was one of the prize catches in this sweepstakes. Before long. Chris Webber and Juwan Howard were gracing full-page ads in Sporta illustrated in the Michigan oolors and long shorts they had made fashionable a few years back. Had Nib oompromiaed the integrity of amateur athletes 1brever? Since the launch of this csmpaign, the issue has begun to broaden as to the appropriateness of <mporate fjmding of any collegiate department. CUITently, there is a oonsiderable amount of con-

cern that Disney, Nib, and Microsoft will take over schools and tum them into diploma factories. In order to stop this tragedy from reaching the U-M, all deals between busine88 and the University must cease. 'Ihis, of course, is ridiculous, for several reasons. Primary among these is a little thing called pride. The Uni~ verBity of Michigan is ClUTently undergoing a donation drive with the very real goal of raising one billion do1lars from. alumni and friends ofthe University. Outr-oHtate and in- state t\1ition levels are at some of the highest levels in the natim. 'I'hereason for this is simple: Michigan :refuses to compromise the standards of diversity among ita student body that have made it one of the finest univerBi1ies in the world in order to receive more funds from the state. 'Ihis is a proud scbool Mickey Mouse will not be writing his signature on anyone's diploma. Recently, Yale University re~ turned a hefty dona1ion that had been given to it because it could not honor the terms under which the gift was to be used. Demands to install "Western Civilization" cuniculum or other simi~ larly absurd restrictions are oommon to such grants. In comparison, the conditions of the Nike deal are mild. No where in the terms is an agree~

ment that the U-M begin a course on cross training. '!he deal with Nike is nothing if not posi1ive. In a very real way, it should be considered flattery. With the Nike sponsorship and international marketing, the very best na1ional recruits have affirma1ion that the Wolverines are for real. Keeping this in mind, consider what would h.ave happened had the ath1.e1ic department refused the deal. There may have been many intellec~ tuals applauding the moral strength of the department, but there would have been more people wondering if athletic director JotJ. Roberson was Bane. '!he reason is this: Steve Fisher and (then coach) Gary Moeller had contracts with shoe companies al~ ready, as doe. every coach at every school with a football or basketball team. Under the old terms, the Wolverines were modeling the shoes on court but only the coaches were get1ing a piece of the pie. With the new deal the money goes to the coaches and (more importantly) to the department, which allows for higher atten~ tion to be paid to facili1ies and health of the athlete. These last two items are also things that recruits consider. On another level is the Mca.rd. '!hough not run through the athle1ic

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department, the settlement is not any more likely to force the University to change the way it operates. It is simply a feature of your experience here, like the buses to North Campus. People who have been upset by the University's deal with First of America and AT&T need to <X»lsider a few things. First and foremost, the Mcard came about not as a singular act on the part of First of America or AT&T. In fact, it was the merchants and student body, both disappointed by the constricted availability of Entree Plu.s,<who clamored for a new, moreacceseible debit ayatem.Hence, the Mcard. No curriculum was changed, no new car showed up at the president's mansion, no one likes the darn thing. All of this is okay. What is crucial in all of this d~ bate is whether any oftbese corporate deals c:iaanges the most basic element of the U-M: the classroom. Both the Nike and Mcard agreements are well removed from the realm of education. The academic reputation of this school will not be transformed because of a cash chip on your student ID. Simi~ larly, First of America, Nike. and AT&T will not keep the world's most gift.ed people from teaching or leam~ ing here. 'These corporations will never have that ability. Ml

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o SATIRE

September Z7, 1995

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Wanna Be Popular? Blow Someone Up BY GEOFF BRoWN •

HERE'S AN OLD SAYING that goes, "1:hoee who fail to learn from history are .. . ummm ... are, ummm ... well, something crappy will happen, that's for damn trure.· Truer worda have not been spoken since, nmmmm, since the uhhhh ... well, not in a long long time. And it'. true that history does tend to teach 118 aometblng very valuable, and I tI!Dd to cberi.ah every chmce I get to learn. from it. I'm not just saying that to solDld intellectual; I'm saying that in the hopes that my history profe880r is reading this. I've discovered from my readings of history a poesible new explanation for the wan in which America has involved itaelfrecently. Some ofthese include the Vietnam War, the invasion of Grenada (a Bmall Caribbean island nation about the size of one of the Mason Hall bathrooms, but more sanitary, if you get my drift), the invasion of Panama to arrest General Manuel Noriega, and the Gulf War, to name a few. Aleo, who among us can forget that wonderful Haiti crisis, when the United States Marines, in their roles as Friendly Ambassado1'8 of Goodwill Anned to the Tonsils WIth Scary-Looking Projectile Weapons, poured onto the tiny Caribbean island nation in a tension-lilled operation that took less time than ordering pizza from the average Ann Arbor delivery establishment. If looked at from a more -historical point of view, the invasion,' while outwardly in response to the'military dictatorahip of Lt. Gen. Raoul "WUdnum" Cedras and the "protection" of alleged "American interests" (most likely Hillary's investment in Haitian cattle futures), could be seen as having much different motivel. Considerthis: many invasions are driven by a patriotic and humanitarian attempt on the part of American presidents to bolster their approval ratinp. It hu become standard practice among these men to attempt to augment their ratingB by staging elaborate military campaigns against small nationa with the fear-i.nspiring strategic and tactical might of rainbow tl'out (yet eomehow with lese land maneuverability). Considering the filet that many Americana equate the concept of committing our troops in foreign conflicta with intestinal parasites, Jehovah's WJ.tne88ee. and Senator Jesee Helms, it would seem that the popularity rating of the politician in question would decrease , but for whatever reasons, the opposite holds true.

tio-eounding when I made them up, sive Nations With Vast Supplies of Consider further: George Bush Petroleum Being Ruled by Insane had mediocre ratings during the flrst there is a top-eecret In.va8ion-~ Spittle-Emitting Dictators with No half of his presidency, and so, in a Publi~Approval-Points Conversion Firm Grasp of Reality: +45 points desperate attempt to improve on this Scale. This scale has assigned gen(With the additional corollary catsituation, he directed the military into eral guidelines and scores for various egory of Not Being Able to Prevent An the Persian Gulfin a thrilling operainvasion scenarios, based on gaoEnormous Recession: -52 points); tion that resulted in the Iraqi Army graphical location. Example converSmall Caribbean Island Nations: +5 adding three more speeds to their points; New Jersey: + 117 points. tank transmissions in the reveree diIt is obvious, then, in light of this rection. 'Ibis action resulted in his new information, that the Clinton approval rating soaring to near 90 Administration was merely attempt;. percent at a time when there was a ing to drum up some more popular growing sentiment in the country that support fur its policies. Further motianyone who supported such a greedy, vation would come from the attracoil-related waste of Americans lives tive possibility that such an invasion was a major cretin. What, then, could would distract the public from such possibly have made President George issues as Whitewater, the almostHerbert Walker Rodham Molybdefailed Crime Bill, the failed Health num Bush XII so popular? Care Reform Bill, and the Cabinet I believe that I may have uncovthat, instead of'100king like Amerial.," ered the answer to the question that . looks "like a poorly-run Rotary Club." has halDlted the minds of Amerlc.arut It remains to be eeen bow Clinton will with extreme manic-depressive ten·' react to these setbacks, but he is cerdencies. Even with my far-reaching tain to put the Invasion-to-Publicconnections in the highest levels of of It II. P.R. opportunity Approval-Points Conversion Scale to the Amep~ government, suen ingood use and to act in much the same formation was not easy to come by. sion values include: Small Southeast manner as Franklin D. Roosevelt did Asian Jungle--oriented Nations BeAccording to'6vo reliable anonymous in response to the nmmmm .... the sources, whose names have been withing Taketi OVer By CoDununistB: -20 points; Middle EastemDeaert;-Inten· ·' uhhh, well, whatever he did. 1ft . . held since they were not very reaiiS·

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

September Z7, 1995

o SPORTSCENE

Five Reasons

to~ Love

Baseball Again :Jt~

BYPATEsKi:w

T HAS BECOME ENTIRELY too popular to rip on professional baseball these days. The stri.ke was definitely not a good thing. The owners and the players were both wrong. but now baseball is back, as great as it ever was. Okay, 80 maybe the players never used to spray reportarB with bleaclt or throw fireworks at fans or snort cocaine or have signing bonu.eea that could buy the etate of Montana, but hey, todays is a new baseball, and it's just as much fun as the baseball of old. For tboee of you who don't believe this (and I aense many of you do not), I have listed below five noIHiebatable :reaaona why you sbouJd give bas&ball a second chance. . 1) Naehoe: Screw peanuts and Cracker Jack, I won't come back if I can't get some eta1e tortilla chips and halfway congealed nea.r-clleeae. In all seriousness, nachos are our generation's contribution to ballpark tare and a fine txmtribUti.cm. it ia.lm.agine not having nachoe at a ballpark: It would be like going to the science museum and not buying astronaut ioecream. Nachoa are a perfect example of why nothing is wrong with baseball. '!he very essence of nachos makes a statement about adaptation. Baseball, being a game of all generations, was quick. to welcome nachoe as it had welcomed cotton candy and souvenir ballcapa before it..'!here was no discrimination involved in deciding whether or not to 8ell nachos. People wanted it and vendors could make money from it Who cares ifit is good for you? Hot dogs and beer are not exactly great fur the ticker either, but they taste good, and that's all that mattera. 2) The Cleveland IndlaD8: '!be Indiana are simply playing great baseball this year. With this short season of 144 games (as oppoeed to the usual 162), the fact that the IndiaDs have a chance to win 100 games is nothing short ofincredible. The scary thing is that their auCC88S is not accidental. '!his Indian lineup is as solid as the very beat of our time. Comparisons between this Indians team of 1995 and the 0a1dand Xs of the late 1980& or the Big Red Machine in the 19708 are not unfair. The brand ofbaaebalJ. that Cleve-

Pat &/uw i. a MJPhomore in indrutrial and operat:ioM engineeri1l8 and a .taffwriter fow tIt.e Review. Hi. teUvuion lid i. tuned continuoruly to WTBS.

land is playing this year makes all of those people who claim baseball cannot be interesting look fuolish. From an overpowering offense, to superb fielding, to dominating pitching, these Indians are simply nothing if they are not exciting. S) Harry Carey: Who could hate 01' Harry, gi ven his uncensored and masterfully absentminded nature? What exactly do you mean, uncensored? On a recent visit to Up CIoIIe, ESPN's half~our interview show, Harry announced his firm belief that anyone who professed that they could have just as much r - .-

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genres. The difference between tbe1j. is that Greg Maddux is just reacb.iDI his peak. You can switch on that same

"is lying to you." What

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League's Most Valuable Player, Maddux should receive the award ror.. his performance this season. ;"j Watching Greg Maddux pitch a game is the equivalent of seeing Harik Aaron hit a home run. 'This is beca~ both men repIesent the very best ~ ball has ever seen in their own uniq.

funwhilenot~ I~_-_ _----------------------~

else would you etPect from the man who pioneered the advertisement ofbeer路at sporting ewntB? It is possible <believe me) to hate the Cubs and stiI1love Han-y. Anyme who grows up iJl an Americ:an hoUle with basic cable can still wa.tch-him on WGN in Chicago as he leads the crowd in "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" or takes an entirely partisan approach to his broadcast. So what if he can't pronounce or even remember the names of the players on the field - after all, he makes baseball fun. 4) Camden Yarcla: Granted, ballpark design took a turn for the worse when the '708 hit Cities tried to combine baseball and football stadiums into one facility, with the result known facetiously as "Cookie Cuttara." Cookie Cuttara are 80 called because, regardless of the city, the stadium design remains the same. Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Atlanta, San Francisco, Houston, San Diego, Oakland, and Seattle an bought into this fad with nothing but horrendous results. '!hen came Oriole Stadium at Camden Yards in Baltimore, saving the aesthetics of baseball. Since the creation of this user friendly version of the classic fields of generations past, parks in other parts of the country have fonowed suit; Cleveland has Jacobs Field, Arlington has The Ballpark, Denver has Coors Field. Now baseball is beautiful on and off the field again. 6) Greg MaddUE '!he question is not whether Greg Maddux will win an unprecedented fourth straight Cy Young Award this season, but rather

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His ERA has been under 1.80 for ~ past two seasona, an achievement thlit is nothing short of miraculous. If ever a pitcher should win the Nationa).

should the award be :re-named the Greg Maddux Award. Here is a pitdler who leads the National League in wins, ERA, and innings-pitched, is second in league batting average

against, and third in strikeouts despite not being 8.ble to throw a fastha1l over 86 miles per hour. He has won 17 straight while pitching on the road. ,.

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basic cable to WTBS every fifth day and see him shutting dow,nanother team. In the end baseball is still America's game. In the early days of spring. or the humid nights of summertime, or the crisp evenings of Qc. ' tober, baseball is the eamegame thAt . J Americans invented, the. game of which they still dream. A game of mothers and their growing boys, a game of grand,fathers, and . fathere. and daughters. A game for all the world to imagine the chanc8s and some nachos. Ml

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US News and World Report has called us a leader in our field.

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The editors of The Wall Street Journal and The Detroit News have praised our publication.

USA Today has praised our editorial page. Our former editors have published articles in noteworthy publications such as Reason, The Wall Street Jow-nal, and The

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New Republic. Our staffmembers have been interviewed by the Detroit News, the Detroit Free Prus, the Ann Arbor News, the Wall Street Journal, Time, the Chronicle of Higher Education, 60 Minutes, the Macneil-I..拢hrer News Hour, Radio Free Europe, and WJR Radio in Detroit.

What's all the buzz about? Join the Review and find out. ~~;;o,~."'w~,_""..,""."'_,1W~

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MICH I~ANl,.; ~IEW ~IVING CULTURE ,

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September~'l"sl

Stephen King: Shuns Modern Mediocrity BY BD..L .AImI:NB

NY EVALUATION OF THE current status of American lit. erature is nearly impossible considering the owrwhelming pres-

ence of volumes of mediocrity atop tbia nation'. beat eellen lista. While commercial lUecesS has showered authol'8 IJUch as John Grisham. and Michael Crichton, the merit of their respective worlm is queetionable. Despite this fact, readen continue to read their navele, reaultingin an ~ saturation ofstoriea depicting the trials and tribulation. of lawyers and the IJOCial ramificatWna of ecience and technology. While both of these authors have centered their writing careen on a particular game, with many of the same unifying themes penneaang eadl and every work, they each ha ve done 80 at the cost of being "typed... A novel may introduce an intriguing c:oncept. but in the end our

expectation. are justified. Stephen King is an author synonymous with honor. His work has encompaased a wide aITay of the bizarre, but Different Season. (Signet, 507 pages) represents a sampling of King's work that will both

smprise and enrapture you. The title immediately indicates that the four novellas preaented here are a departure from King's standard fair. Apt Pupil, TM Body, and The BreathiT16 Method are stories of manipulation, discovery, and perseverance. 'l1lat-is .,"-

not to say that the stories are not completely devoid of that peculiar King touch. Says King, "Elements of honor can be found in all of the tales. Socmer er later, my mind alwaya seems to tum back in that direction, God knows why." 'lbe impetus for the republication. of this book, first published in 1982, was undoubtedly due to the success of the film based. on Rita Hayworth and Shaw.hanA Redemption, the first story in this collection. Shawshank pri80n serves as the setting of the wrongful incarceration of Andy Dufresne, an intelligent and quiet banker convicted of the brutal murder of his wife. For nearly twenty years, Andy plots his revenge against those who have put him there, while ironically earning himselfboth a fortune and a means of escape. The detached WUTative convincinglyestablishee the numbing monotony «prison life, while undencoring the idea of

what it is like to beoome "institutionalized. " 'l1le film based on. this novella proved to be one of the finest of last year, scoring several Academy Award nominations. Interestingly enough, it was not widely publicized that the film was based on a story by Stephen King. It was simply difficult to believe that the same man who had written of such tenor could also create a story that showcased the triumphant of the human spirit. In the Afterword, King laments the passing of quaint literary pieces such as the novella and ponders the future of his profession. He accepts the assertion that he will always be "typed" as a hOlTOr writer, while bluntly confessing that his work is "fairly plain, not very literary, and sometimes (although it hurts like hell to admit it) downright clumsy." In truth, these four short stories allow us to truly appreciate King's talent, and they deserve another look. Ml

Coupland and the Metaphysical Properties ·of ~ego BY GREG PAR.KEll

WAS SKEPTICAL WHEN I heard that Douglas Coupland's latest book was a bot read. I mean, he basically started all this business about Generation X with his book of the same title. In filet, I made a promise to myself that if I ever met this Coupland fellow in person, I'd give him a piece of"f!J.y mind. X this, X that - simply put" I've been Generation X-ed to death.' A good. friend of mine recommended the book to me. He said that he really identified with its cha.racten - he could have sworn that their childhood. anecdotes could have been 1:ifmd from his own adoJeecence, I grew up with this friend and we shared much conc.eming the daya of our)'OUth. 80 I gave him the benefit ofth.e doubt and picked up Coupland'. 'Microur/'# (HarperColllna,371 pac_). As far aa plot is concerned, it doesn't seem to be the main focus of the book. What little plot there is concerns the lives of a half-dozen or 80 Microeoft employees who meet a couple of interesting characten and go on. to 10nn their own CUDpany - no big deal But what makes this book so special, and personally so important, are the anecdotal tangents the plot takes from time to time. Here we really understand the foundation of

a,..

Pariter renmtly brought TaU Lego colkction up to IIChool...

each of the ~1'8 - which is probably the single most satisfying aspect of the book. The actions and interactions of the characters are remini.scent ofmany recuning themes in Generation X today: god's role (if any) in the universe, the increasing power of computers - on a lighter side, the idea of "having a life," and the idea of areepting the label of"nerd" (and noting the increasing popularity of nerd culture). We learn quickly that the characters in the book are, frankly, nerds. They grew up during the formative years of the home computer age, namely the late '70s early '80s genre of Pong, Atari, Space Invaders, and Pac-Man. They represent the first generation in which the computer was a permanent fixture - be it ancient Commodore Pets or the first IBM PC or even those medieval Odyssey contraptions. They spent their childhoods surrounded by computen, learned to take them for granted, and as a result, computers are very much an aspect of the character's lives. They also grew up around Dungeons and Dragons, and more importantly, Lego. I identify with the Lego especially; I had literally thousands of the modular bricks, and I'd spend hours searching for the perfect brick for the perfect place in the perfect Lego construction. Without disclosing too much of

the story, the characters' new ~.. pany works to create virtual re8.lity software roughly equivalent to an electronic Lego set. Coupland's use of the Lego metaphor is great - after all, !.ego is highly metaphorical - but he manipulates it with perfection. Look out fer sterility, universality, and ~ for-alI-ages representation in the funny little blocks. And Coupland's comments on the Lego mini figs are priceless. Why did this hit home for me? I guess that rve never really read anything that I could identify with as

Lego It hIrder to . . . . . . you '*'Ie:

much as this. While I wasn't what you'd call a prototypical nerd, my childhood was centered around nerdy things like Lego and computers and imagination-intensive activities like role playing games. Nonetheless, the problems in my life paled in comparison with those of the characters in the book (i.e. I am far, far from having a

:nerwms btealaJown). but to:read about characters that strongly resemble oneself is fun (if not scary) in any event. Coupland delves deeply into the cybel'-Culture (to be quite cliche) of todays society. With little quips here and there about Bill Gates and his power at Microsoft, Coupland captures the sentiments «many oftoday's tecbnophiles. His prose style is cybel'esque as well, including e-mail exchanges between characters and journal entries from the main character's computer diary. '!his is especially interesting (take note pop culture freaks) because Coupland represents the diary as it would appear on a computer screen, and the entries are item or phrase based rather than sentence based. In short, Coupland's imaginative use of prose is effectiye and enjoyable, and while I wouldn't label it vanguard, it certainly strectches the traditional English prose paradigm. After finishing Microserfs, I approached Coupland with a newfound respect. After all, he did start this whole Gen X thing. and love it or hate it, at the very least he deserves credit for that fact alone. And while other writers and journalists jump on the X bandwagon., Coupland could have simply chose to sit back. and ride the crest; however, he has chosen to once again break new ground and focus on a subsection of Gen X culture: nerds and techno-heads. Ml

Seplember27,1995

MICHIGAN REVIEW LIVING CUlTU~

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13 1

@ !fum

Showgirls:No .Stiff Competition of "Take it oftl" In other words, there was no range at all. It's difficult to review the film. itself seriously, because the whole experience shaped my final feelings about the movie. However, I can say this: Unleaa you absolutely must see naked female8 and have no other means of seeing them, please don't see Showgirltt. 'The film opena with Nomi Malone

on Earth to offer to take Nomi in after her suitcase is stolen upon arrival in HEN HENRY AND Las Vegas. June was alapped with an Elizabeth Berkley doesn't have X rating in 1990 by the much room here to show off any actMotion Picture Association of ing talents that ahe may have. InAmerial. ita director (Philip Kauftnan) stead, she is forced to overact in order and studio (Universal), aided by civil to compensate for the unbelievable liberties lawyer Alan Dershowitz, mood swings and emotional fragility forced the adoption of a new rating, of Nomi. Kyle MacLachlan is decent, NC-17. The public had long associas is Alan Rachins (as the sleazy owner ated an X rating with cheap pornogof'The Cheetah who turns out to be a raphy, something that Henry and decent guy), but they also have nothJune certainly was not. The NC-17 ing to work with. Gina Gershon is the label was created for fil:ma that adulta only standout, playing Cristal with a would allegedly go see iftbe sUgma of conniving, glamorous flair. The only the X rating was not attached: soft problem is that her relationship with pom for discerning fllmgoera. Nomi is confusing, and at times downUnivel'8al allowed Henry and right bizarre. However, in a movie June to be released with this new where everything elee is .awful. ahe NC-17 rating hoping that moviegosomehow stands out. ers would not notice, or not care about, . Beyond that, Showgirl8 does not ita unusual (and highly publicized) (Elizabeth Berldey, all grown up after aDJ>e&!' to even have ~y diacemible rating. Henry and Jrme bombed, and '!VB Saved By '!'he BeU) hitchhiking theme. It ends just as it begins, with the stigma of the old X rating was her way to LaB Vegas to become a Nomi hitchhiJring out of Vegas after quickly passed on to the -new and dancer in the ~08' expensive topshe has made it to the top. What are improved" NC-17. Ever since, no 1688 clubs, theonea that purport to be • we supposed to make of this? 'l1ult major Hollywood studio hu dared quality art and entertainment but after experiencing the underbelly of release a film with the dreaded NCare essentially no different than the Vegas dancing, she has somehow be17 rating. sleazy ones. She ends up at a cheap come a better person and will now strip club called 'The Cheetah, where Until now, that is. After the MPAA. forced director Paul Verhoeven to - she iB-discovereclbyan aging (though make 9 cutB in &.it: 1118tinc1 (1992) to -still~) Vegas superstar named Cristal Connors (Gina Gel'8hon). achieve its R rating, he obviously Crista1 orders a private lap-dance for didn't feel like dealing with the cenher companion, the entertainment sors again. Somehow Verhoeven mandirector of the Stardust Hotel, Zack aged to convince MGMlUA to back Carey (Kyle MacLachlan of Twin him up with his concept of an NC-17 PeaAs fame). Cristal watches as Nomi movie about Las Vegas strippers, and performs for Zack. Not long after, they did. Nomi gets a job at the Stardust in Because of alll.he hype, because their huge topless production "Godof the industry BigDificance, because de8s," mainly because Crista1 is the I'm a supposed -rum critic," and yes, star and seems to like Nomi. The rest because rm a young male, I packed is a look at the seamy side of Vegas production. Don't bother-looking into the theater to see ShowtJ'irU, the topleaa dancing through the eyes of aforementioned NC-17 free-for-all. Winona"Blder·o...·t1ashy c:amera 88Was there nudity? Quite a lot. FullNomi, the ~ vixen who will quencee either. 'Ihe filD1 is not per.. atop at nothing to get ahead. frontal? Indeed. Male? Of ooune not, feet; lik.dilOlt comediet,about.love. The story above sounds a8 if it .tbiJ-movie ia utterly predk:table.,,' lbethis i8 a movie for men, remember? would make a decent film, if only Was there aex.?Yea. Between. women? pointo(BrotIwtn McMullen. howeVer, BOIDeoDe else had written it, someone .is not: a ahpcldng .au.rpriae ending. Somewhat. Between. men? Don't get elee had directed it, and other actors ridiculous. Was there "'bad" language? Rather~iU8 tluii'\~o.f-~yent.t aDd thought procelllle8' _h~h\lj starred in it Paul Verhoeven reteam.e Yes. Was it a good movie? Not by any with his BasU! In11tinct acriptor, Joe stretch. of the imaginationl _the Eazterhas, the moat oveITated writer Crammed into the theater like sardines were countJ.ess numbers of in Hollywood today (he :rerentJ.y sold a one-page synopsis of an unwritten sexually repreued men, immature movie for several million dollan), to adoleecent boy. with their older brothcreate a tastelesB, boring, cheesy, en' IDa, and a few straggling girls unintelligent, and otherwise ridicuwho mllBt have been misinformed lous movie. Eazterbas' aaipt isn't lackSaved By The Bell fans (that point ing 80 much in the dialogue (a few will become apparent in a moment). extremely stupid people might actuYou could taste the testosterone in ally talk. like that) but in the plot that room, as weJl aa the 8\U'ltmMing itself. 'Ihere is a subplot involving parking lot, where pick-up tl'udm and Nomi and a dance instructor that has Mustangs were the most abundant no value in the story, as well as too vehicles (fm not even joking). 1'he much attention paid to Nomi's best audience participation ranged from friend, who must be the nicest penon hoota and bollen to catmlla and cries

BY RYAN POSLY

move on to bigger and better things? If that was the intent of the fi)mmak~ en, they failed miserably. Nomi, in my eyes, will never escape the cycle of stripping. prostitution, and drugs that haa been her life for so long. Done correctly, that would have made a decent ending to an otherwise horrendous film. Instead, Verhoeven pr0vides a cheesy optimistic outJ.ook that takes what little edge the movie had right off, making a horrible rape scene seem trite and \DlIleCJB88ary. This could have been a good movie. Showgirltt will probably be at the top of the box-<)ffice this weekend, causing other studios to seriously consider NC-17 features. And hopefully somebody will craft; a very good film and release it as NC-17, erasing the stigma that Showgir/4 serves to increase, for I have nothing against explicit nudity and sex or related. themes (maybe I'm part French). However, Showgiru is just plain awful. and once the initial frenzy of young males subsides, it will die a brutal death. But althOugh Henry and June was a good film, Showgirlit deserves to ~e. Ml.

Plot, 4owever, iB not the !.lD.08t It is the mil"acu1oUii acting. writing, and eli-

charming 8.spect in thia film.

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r 9rf.usic: Jazz

MICHIGAN REVIEW'L1VING CULTUR,E ,.',

September 27,

19951

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Smile with Miles an€i Chill with Monk & Trane BY NATAJ...IE PICARD PEARcE

HEN YOU TAKE 'lWO legends of jazz - prominent membera of the creme ck la crbn.c of both the piano and tenor saxophone worlds - hare', what you get: ~ MOM with John Coltrane. I'm not talking a new craze in jazz. What you experience on this album, ream:led in 1957-68, is something of the old which ewkee feelinga of the new. What aBow. this particular combination of artists to shine above othen in achieving this goal is not just each individual's abilities. Rather, fwIed with the respect of eam other, ThelonioUi Monk and John Coltrane display their own brightest feathers. In fact, Coltrane once said, "'If a guy need. a little spark. a boost, he can just be around Monk, and Monk will give it to him." This '"little spark" incited what has been called ..e_ ~A.O ..... " .... .u.;ra.ue. "Ruby, My Dear" allows the listener to 110w right into the album, fluidly and with a hint ofmelanch>ly. If you've ever aeen an old black and white d.etId;ive movie, picture a ndny night with the lonely detectivelnarrator standing on the street comer, smoking a cigarette, eetting up the scenario tOr the viewers. 'Ihis melody has a feel of times gone by, reflection with a tear perhapa. Don't get me wrong - the whole album is not going

(l:JJ f}3 0 9R§

Militarism: Liberty's Greatest Enemy

BY AARON STEELMAN

to bring you down. marker of a particular stage in Miles' much less Davis and much more In fact, the next song, "Trinkle, career. However, Mile8 Smile8 has Hancock. 'This is not really my favor'l1nkle," is a light, up-beat tune. Monk been called "one ofhis finest acoustic ite track, I must admit. It has a little displays his talent on the piano with sets yet. "Yet, it is evident by the song more of a spacey feel to it, especially rapid flutters whicll ooincide well with titles alone (such as "Orbits," "Freewhen Davis chimes in. "Footprints" is the song's title. You really do feel as dom Jazz Dance") that Miles was on a sjmilar story. It's almost as though though you are flitting along. I would his way into a new electronic sphere you feel like you cannot move when say trinkling, but rm not really sure with his music. you're listening to this part of Milu how one would trinkle. As for the He launches us into "Orbits" at Smile•. I really don't feel a smile from. tinkle - well, I'll leave that one up to the outset, providing a hint of that him at this point, perhaps that's my your jmagination. problem. The next three tracks on this alWhen I feel the smile fully come bum give me a feeling of the big band back to his lipe is when I hear "Freeera. More drum involvement and dom Jazz Dance" begin. Here, Miles louder horns - definitely a livelier takes it back more to the feel of the bit than the previous two. You might beginning of the album, one of motion even go so far as to do a jig while and life. Although he tends to get an listening to this part of the album. electronic feel, you still just want to 'The very last song gets back to a more move and do that dance. relaxed state, even with a hint of However, I must say the last song blues. is Miles with an unstoppable grin. TheIonIoua didn't pity like IhiI Altogether, 'Thelonious Monk with This is what truly brings back the John Coltrane provides the jazz lis- ; electrical feel. Miles on the trumpet feeling he initiates the album with. tener with a dynamic range of jazz here is energized and you feel it. AnHe is energized and projects an esfeeling. For those looking tOr an oldw other aspect worth noting is Herbie sence of constant motion. 'Ihls is my jazz album ~ variety, zest, and Hancock's piano-playing genius. Inother favorite on Milu SmiletJ. talent, tb.iat 8lbum definitely will not cidentally, Herbie Hanrock is the man I feel that the strengths of this disappoint. who originated the song "Cantaloupe album come at the very beginning Moving a little farther down the Island," whicll Us3 used as a basis for and the end. I prefer the ~lec- . jus timeline. we anive at another their rap-type version, "Cantaloupe . ',o.tronic Miles, which stan. to reuon (FUpFantasia).- Getting mbreto the' " that I like1he bulk of'tlDa album a lot great: Miles Davie/ M08t people can point, Hancock's fingers surely got a recognize that name when they see it. less than the ends ofit. In my estima~ work-out from this song. Overall, tion, the album is worth checking out Davis was certainly, and still is, ajazz legend. This particular album, Milu energetic and up-beat, displaying just for that alone. Furthermore, it's multiple talents, this is probably my an interesting point in Davis' career, Smilu, is a much lesser known album. Unlike Kind of Blue or Bitchu personal favorite of the album. one of transition. So pick it up, ex"Circle" is much quieter, with pand your horizons. Mt Brew, this album is not a strong

N 1987, ECONOMIC HISTorian Robert Higgs published Cmu and uviatJaan: Critical EpiMKJu in the Growth of American Government. 'lbe book was a watershed event in the siudy of the growth of the American state. Higgs brilliantlyand consistently argued that the rise of the modem mega-etate can be traced to one phenomena: government's reactions to crises imaginary as well ae real. The two typee of ai.Bes which led to leviathan, according to Higgs, were economic reoeaaiona and wan, with the latter of the two being the more important. Indeed, he argued that war was the primary instrument for the collectivization of the United States in the twentieth century. America's involvement in the two World Wars not o.nly laid the groundwork fir the New Deal, but was necessary for it. completion. Only through

World War II could FDR gain the power neceuary to complete his domestic agenda; not even the Great Depre88ion was sufficiently exigent to justify the massive taxation and regulation that was central to the development and implementation of the New Deal. In the tradition fL CrisU and Levi4tJaan comes Bruce Porter's War and the Rbe of the Stale: The Military Foundation. of Mode,.,. PoUtic. (Free Press, 380 pages). Porter, a professor of political science at Brigham Young University, has, in this book, written an excellent account of warfare's effecta on nation-etates over the last 500 years. He presents an informed analysis of the importance of war in the formation of early nation-etates, but more importantly, he ably ex-

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plores the military foundations of modem welfare states (Britain, France, and the U.S.), as well as funner totalitarian states (particularly, Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union). Like Higgs, Porter believes that the key to understanding the rise of statism in all its insidious f<rm8lies in one's grasp of the importance of war. For warfare, argues Porter, gave rise to the "co1lectivist state," which he believes, in ita totality, is comprised of three separate states essentially rolled into one: the "regulatory state," whim is characterized by extensive governmental intervention into the national economy; the "mass state," in which political privilege is divorced from class or economic status and social egalitarianism is pursued as the ultimate end; and the "welfare state," which assumes direct responsibility for the well-being of ita citizens. With-

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out "wartime production" there would not have been the modem "regulatory state"; without the conscription of young males and the ensuing labor shortage there would not have been the meteoric rise of powerful labor unions nor the mass entrance of females into the workplace, both of which Porter cites as characteristics of the "mass state"; and without the tax policies pursued during war there would not have been the modem "welfare state." In short, without warfare there couldn't have been the massive social engineering the United States has witnessed over the last 80 years. If N e1ft Gingrich and his fellow "revolutionaries" are serious about rolling back the size and scope of the federal government, they mustn't concentrate on repealing the welfare state alone although this is certainly a worthy task They must, as Bruce Porter has so eloquently written, repeal the warfare state as well, for this is truly the heart ofleviathan. Mt

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ISeptember27,l99; U

MICH;IGAN ~VIEW LIVING cLi~fURE : ; ~..[,-.~ .. - lSr~

! Music

. ~:t

Glam Rock: Open.,Up and Say Ahhhh!

DREW PETERS

Dombrowski now fronts Sponge, a band that your girlfriend wants to 'M GOING TO TELL YOU meet very badly. something that may disturb you: So how did guys in mascara and I own Poison's 1Ao1t What tM Cat lips1ick ever come to fill arenas? How Droued In. This may disturb you were we tricked into liking them? even more: I listen to it. A lot. Hell, I Why did I buy that nasty bought it on CD only a ample ofweeks black Tesla shirt for $251 ago. Why did I go to Harmony Before you go and get all critical, House to meet Europe? what hair banda did you like back. in Maybe it was because. the '80s? White Lion? Twisted Sister? those bands were a support. Yeah, don't try to deny it, you liked ive soundtrack to my adothat stuff Everybody liked it. lescence. Seventh grade was As much as we'd all like to forget the start of my skatel'-6tyle about it, Ratt packed Pine Knob back hair do and the start of my in '86 as much as live c:tid a few weeks supposed parental oppres- . sion. Seeing these rock and ago. Poiscn and David U!e Roth rocked the Palace of Auburn Hilla just like roll stars look like a bunch Nine Inch Nails and R.E.M. Do you of freaks was some sort of remember Monsters of Rock, the '8O's inspiration to me. "MOm and Lollapalooza? That tour, featuring dad don't understand me, Kingdom Come, Dokken, Scorpions, but these guys know what ita like to be me. '!hey know . as well as the more respected Metallial and Van Halen. sold out stadiums all what it's like to be different." over the country, easily outselling Maybe the ep. clisplayed by of 1995's Lollapalooza. these rock. banda were perfect for the Although Los Angeles was best people of the '80s ~, more epecifiknown for glam-rock, Detroit still bad cally, teenagers like me. Guitarists a thriving same. Not too long ago, the were tl'ying to be the fastest, wcalists were trying to sing the highest. EvRitz was the big place in Detroit with smaller bands like Faster Pussycat erybod.y wanted to be the best. All of and Bang Tango filling up the large those guitar, bass and drum magaclub. No one I zinea owe most of cared about St., their revenue to . Andrews. technical pursuit of '80's bands . Detroit's own Seduce was With '90's "guisigned to I.R.S. tarista" like Kelly reeords and feaDeal and "vocaltured in the ists" like movie Decline of Courtney Love, Wutem CivilUa.musician magation Part II: The zines are going to Metal Yea,.. with be hard-pressed a bunch of other to find people to bands that never stiOt on their covwent anywhere. ers. Seduce was later Maybe these dropped. same bands Where are helped me to unthese guys .servderstand the girls ing fries DDW? As> that would flash tually, drummer me braces-filled Chuck Burns smile. one Roeten l.ouchuII now fronts minute and tum Speedball, a band whose "Hog" has their jean jacket wearing back on me been in regular rotation on every rathenen. dio station around here. They will also be touring with White Zombie in I'm not looking for a love that lasts a few months. I need a shot and I need it fast Vu-gin reeording artists and DeIf I can't have her troit rockers Loudbouse were one of I'll take her and make her. - Poison - "I Want Action" those crossover glam-rocklalternarock bands. With one foot in Janes Addiction and the other in Ratt, Maybe not. '!he lyrics bbviously Loudhouse was dropped by VJrgin. weren't the strong point for '80's rock. What filling station do they work But scrap off the make-up, tune out at now? Actually, drummer VInnie the lyrics and I think you'll see why BY

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we liked the hair bands: some of them actually wrote some catchy tunes. '!he groups that were emulated by the hair bands were respectable enough. A lot ofMTV's favorite bands were featured on a KISS tribute al-

Lyrics like these make it hard to listen to good '80's rock. We don't want to hear about penis, we want to hear Alannia sing about her vagina. We don't want to hear about rock and roll egos, we want to hear Beck say that he is a loser. We don't want to hear a lot of technical talent, we want to hear Pavement sing and playeveryt.hiDg half-assed. And while we listen to them, we want put on our clothes that don't fit too well and ride our skateboards to North University and State, where we won't try to hard too complete any tricks. Everytbing is slacker. Ultimately, if you plop in Look What the Cat Drti.gged In, you'd find something creepy: if every song were sped up a little bit, lyr.ics changed. to how "screwed up" a.,g Tango: You bid boye, you you are, and the singer made, to . sing the vocals in a pseudo-Brit.Pum recently. Aerosmith still sells ish areent, you'd have Doolcie. millions of records. "But the hair banda are different, " '!he problem is that the hair bands they are so lame," you say. It wasn't ex:aggerated too many of the bad £eatoo long ago that we were saying the tures of the bands they idolized. Lyrsame thing about disco and the 70s. ics were too penis-oriented, bands "Yeah, but that was different." Yup, wore too much make up. But it's easy .. .' you're right. I won't talk about this to see what hair bands saw in the stutfanymore. Hey, can I botTow your genius in some ofKISS's thought proLenny Kravitz CD? Yeah, rll give voking metaphors. back to you when I see you at the Baby, let's put the Xin sex Nectarine this Wednesday forDiaco Love's like a muscle night. Right on. Make sure you wear And you make me want to flex. that shirt with the far-out butterfly - Kiss - "Let's Put the X in Sex" collar. Peace out. m

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There's no such thing as a free lunch?!?!?!? Whoever said that didn't know about Living Culture, the Review's arts section. Do you want to write music reviews? If so, talk to us. You get to keep whatever you review. That means free.

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J..~ Make free your friend. Call 662-1909 and uk for Grec. or COOle to our ltaft"meetinge every TueedaY. 7:00 PM, Third Floor Michigan League, at the Review'. <ifice. You can even e-mail us at IIU"eY4rumich.edu.

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We hope not to dump on Buchanan too much_during his bid 'o.rpresldency. 路

Here's what we did with our Pat Buchanan bumper sticker, compliments of the College Republicans.

Stand up for freedom Read the Review. Or you can join the Review. Call 662-1909 or come to our Tuesday staff meetings, Third Floor, Michigan League, Suite One. You can e-mail us at: mrev@um.ich.edu as well. PhotoIconcept by Greg ParUr

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