vol_16_no_10 by Michigan Review

Take Back The Night Marches in Ann Arbor BY

JOSH BENNINGHOFF

HE NIGHT OF SATURDAY, April 18th was not about any social issue; it was about women, for better or for worse. Shortly after 7:00 p.m., student activist Brenna DeVaney's introductions commenced the Nineteenth Annual "Take Back the Night" march and rally. Although the Ann Arbor Coalition Against Rape (AACAR) organized this event in just over a month, popular support for this event was apparent in the crowd gathered on the Diag. Some came expecting TBTN to specifically address sexual violence, including rape; but the purpose ofTBTN, as stated in their literature distributed at the rally, is to make the following proclamation for women: "we will be safe, we will be strong and we will be free. The TBTN March is a symbol of our collective commitment that there will come a day where women and children will no longer need to fear male violence." After various announcements, including By Any Means Necessary (BAMN) leader Jessica Curtin's plea for the support of affirmative action, the first of three "entertainment" segments began. Detroit Police Officer Kalimah Johnson and her poem "Rape" was a detailed account of how rape "bleeds a bloody song into (her) ears." The emotion was apparent in her voice and demand that those that chose to lie on or near the Diag, "get up,standup. Standupforyourrights." The first speaker was Sexual Assault and Prevention Awareness Center (SAPAC) member Deborah Frankie. In a positive, emotional speech, Frankie stated, "If there is one thing that people should take with them, it should be the importance of support." U-M alumna Carolyn Hammond followed Frankie by explaining how seeing the night's protest made her "feel like a winner." The second "entertainment" group, the Emily Barry Dance Company, performed an evocative dance to celebrate the education and healing involved in a survivor's life. Following the dance, AATU co-coordinator Melissa Dansforth began by asking that the crowd summon the powers of the elements and direction. Rounding out the speakers was local activist Katie Mattingly. She . ,~l~med ~hat "every woman I know is.

a survivor of violence against women." There exists a "continuum of violence in our rape culture," she said, citing statistics that claim that one in three women will be sexually assaulted before the age of eighteen. Although she said that no man should ever be raped, she claimed the American "rape culture" doesn't acknowledge the severity of its rape statistics. This claim brought forth h~r overall slogan, that the "personal is political." She then proceeded to condemn TBTN for not addressing the racial issues that are inextricably intertwined with the feminist movement. She asked, "What use are a bunch of white women marching with police escorts?" After remarking how the "most useless thing in the world is a guilty man ... Guilt makes people turn inward. Let's not talk about you. Let's talk about violence against women," she soon concluded by saying, "I need you all. 1 can't end violence against women." After her speech, she left the stage and invited the members of the AACAR to take the stage to announce their demands. The demands for this year included, among others: • "that all schools immediately implement comprehensive intervention and support programs regarding sexual assault and domestic violence. • that the media publish rape and domestic violence hotline numbers routinely and add domestic violence to the crime map. • that NO PERSON touch another pers~m without consent." As stated in their brochures, TBTN "seek(s) to expose the political function of rape in our society - that is, keeping women terrorized and under the control of men." After the final demand was read, men were thanked for their support, but asked not to attend the ensuing march. The women then left for an hour-long march that included parts of campus" as well as ~owntown.Ann Arbor be-

Women rally to Take Back The Night ~ ..,.

U-M Commencement Honorees: Who Are They?

BY LEE

light VIgil. When asked why men were not invited to participate in the march, DeVaney explained that "Tonight is only about women. That doesn't mean that men can't be a part of the solution or be there for support, but the point of tonight is for women to feel power and know they don't need any0lle t<? e~~~~ o~ p!?~e~~ ~~~tp~".~...

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TUDENTSATUNIVERSITY commencements are accustomed to seeing big-name speakers. In the past, the University of Michigan has enjoyed its share of notable commencement speakers, including the likes of President George Bush, First Lady Hillary Clinton, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, and Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Toni Morrison. In contrast, last week's announcement of Dr. Mamphela Ramphele as this year's choice for commencent speaker raised eyebrows on campus. Upon hearing the names ofRamphe Ie and the three other honorary degree recipients - Edward Said, Richard Ford, and Mary Lowe Good - many . INSIDE' •

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• SURVIVE THE SUMMER

students asked, "Who are these people?" Although widely known and respected in their specific fields, this year's speaker and honorees are not exactly household names, so let's take a closer look at these four individuals .

MAMPBELA BAMPHELE Dr. Ramphele, vice chancellor of the University of Capetown in South Africa, was chosen from this year's group of honorary degree recipients to give the Spring Commencement address at Michigan Stadium. Born under apartheid to rural schoolteachers, the fifty-year-old Ramphele overcame long odds to become a physician, social activist, and now th(> h::ad See COMMENCEMENT, Page 9

gun ofconservative thought at both environmentalists and feminists. • BENJAMIN KEPPLE QUITS.

WITH E·MAIL. Ben Rousch tells you how to stay connected to the Internet.

Read Ben's Final installment of Lost In The Eighties TM

• C.J. GETS TWO BIRDS ~~ ONE STONE. C.J. fires his ZIP

• AND LEE BOCKHORN STARTS. Lee Bockhorn starts his new column, Lanterns & Lances!

•

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April 22, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

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o SERPENT'S TOOTB

The campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan

Better Living Through Satire™

"Earth Day? Get the steak!" EDlTOBIAL BOARD

The University of Michigan was the recent focus of a massive April 15 article by The Detroit Free Press with regards to our simmering affirmative action debate and our ever-present racial tension. However, even we weren't expecting the proponents of affirmative action to hand us the intellectual battle on a platter like that. One student supporter of affirmative action, Michael Blair, said: "You hear buzz words like 'earn' and 'hard work' ... It's become an issue of who deserves to be here." First off, it's always been an issue of who deserves to be here. Secondly, if words like 'earn' and 'hard work' are now buzzwords, what's next? Grade Poin t Average? Leadership? Personal Achievement? Heck, why have any standards at all? And Mike "Full Moon and Empty Head" Nagrant's quote in the article makes him the winner of the "1998 Most Clueless Member of MSA" award! Nagrant, after escaping from handlers and chewing through the leash held by MSA Vice President Olga ''Rasputin" Savic, said the campus atmosphere was "alive and vital." "There are so many demonstrations," Nagrant told the Freep. "The lawsuits have really brought people together around affirmative action." Yeah, it's really been a fun time around campus, huh, Mike? We're all smging and clapping around a giant bonfire of love, aren't wp? What do affirmative action detractors have to do, set ourselves on fire m order to register on Nagrant's activism screen? Vice President for Student Suppression, er, Affairs Maureen Hartford also told the Free Press, "Does that mean the campus is free of racism and hate speech or the view that students of color are here because of special programs? No ... People are free to say hateful things." First off, since when the devil has having an anti-affirmative action viewpoint ever been hateful? Besides, any student who steps . out ofline here for an instant is kicked and battered back into line by N aziesque administrators. We'd also like to say we feel sorry for poor, oppressed, miserable Joe Reilly. Reilly, an American Indian from Kalamazoo, decided to employ

the "burn your bridges" tactic at the local meeting of President Clinton's Initiative on Race and blasted it for not appointing an American Indian to that panel. Reilly claimed in the April 15th Free Press article that "a lot of privileged white students have a sense of entitlement to attend a prestigious uruversitylike U-M."However, there was no mention of his privilege of gaining free tuition under Michigan law because he's an Indian. "We must deal with a lot of stereotypes that we are savages who live in teepees and don't wear jeans and drive cars," Reilly said. A~tually, Joe, perhaps we don't know the same ignorant morons you prQfess to deal with every day, but ifyou really think that, you've got a lot of stereotypes about the evil white man. Fiona Rose won't be the only student going to Oxford this year- Managing Editor C. J. Carnacchio is proud to announce that he too will be living at Oxford -- Oxford Housing, that is, along with hundreds of other students screwed over by University Housing this year. Congratulations C.J.! Our forebears at the Review came up with this little ditty back in 1990. We still think it holds true today. So, without further ado, here's the theme song for Jim Duderstadt (and by proxy: Lee Bollinger, with apologies to The Beatles) - "Hey Dude:"

Hey Dude, You're so diverse, You'd take a good school, And make it worse. Remember, when you judge by the color of skin, And let them in, You lower standards. The engineers on staff would like to thank the self-serving, resum~packing, vote-grubbing members of MSA for successfully removing The Wok Express from the Pierpont Commons. We no longer have to decide between bad pizza or bad Chinese food, since you have made the decision for us. We expect that you will also drive out Little Caesar's so the University administration you suck up to will have a complete monopoly on what everyone living on North Campus has to eat and ho wmuch we have to pay for it. We hope the MSA reps who helped , .

in this venture will visit North Campus for a term so they can bloody well stand in line for half an hour for a measly piece of the same greasy pizza day after day. In the future, we would appreciate it if you tre~hugging hippie LSA reps would worry about your own damn campus. We were jubilant to read Paul

Serilla's final column in the Daily this week - finally, we'll never have to read that tripe again. In memory, however, here are some choice bits from some of his columns: • "Chances are, ifyou are reading this column right now, you are not a happy camper." (Feb. 27, 1998)

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: PUBLISHER: MANAGING EDITOR: MANAGING EDITOR: ARTS EDITOR: CAMPUS AFFAIRS EDITOR: FEATURES EDITOR:

EDITORIAL STAfF

MUSIC EDITOR: SPORTS EDITOR: CONTRIBUTING EDITOR: IllUSTRATOR:

• "I am a bass player ... and I know this is always the most frustrated member of the band." (Feb. 20, .1998'r

• "I am not just trying to justify the pertinacious ramblings of many socalled art enthusiasts who like to spend their weekends posing at galleries as intellectuals. I, for example, am not particularly well-versed in art history or criticism ... " (Mar 20,1998) • "Somehow, I don't think this happens to navel (sic) architects ..." (Apr 10,1998) • "Everything is political, but after graduation, I won't be." (Apr 10, 1998) You can see our "Tribute to Paul Serilla" on our WWW page: http://www.umich.edul-mrev We don't know about the rest of you, but we really enjoyed the Cut-n-Paste version of the Independent this week. We've never had to actually cut open the pages before. And nominated for the stupidest headline ofthe year in the Daily: "Student Paper Aims for Diversity." What was the article actually about? A former Harvard Crimson writer exposing the fact that the Harvard Crimson decided the paper had too many Jews on staff, and that it was getting rid of many of those Jews in order to make room for more "diverse" students. We can only hope this was simply incompetence on the part of the Daily and ,n ot something more sinister. ,,::,-,~""' = '~~M

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Chris Hayes Rob Wood Matthew Buckley Astrid Phillips

STAFF WRITERS: John Bach, Josh Benninghoff, Craig Garthwaite, Andrew Golding, Jen Guerra, Doug Hilihoule, Amy Majerowicz, Jacob Oslick, Maureen Sirhal. . BUSINESS STAFF: Matt Fogarty, FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT: Tom Jolliffe (Madrid) Geoff Brown

EDITOR EMERITUS:

• "Of course, all of these things are true of a new car purchase as wellthe main difference is, well, used cars aren't new." (Mar 27, 1998)

Benjamin Kepple Sang Lee Lee Bockhom C. J. Camacchio Kristina Curkovlc Ben Rousch Julie Jeschke

The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run journal of conservative and libertarian opinion at the Uni· versity of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept monetary donations from the U-M. Contnbutions to the Michigan Review are tax-deductible under Section 501 (c)(3) of the Internal ReVenue Code. The Review is not affiUated with any political party or university poUtical group. Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of !he editorial board. Ergo, they are unequlvocably correct and just. Signed articles, letters, and cartoons represent the opinions of the author and not necessarily those of the Review. The opinions presented in this publication are not necessaruy those of the advertlsers or of the University of Michigan. We welcome letters, articles, and comments about the journaL

Pie lesu Domine, Dona Eis Requiem ... thafs it for Benjamin Kepple, Edltor-in-Chief - he quit. So now what are we going to do? First off, at the very least we won't have to waste a page running Lost in the Eighties anymore. But anyhow, at this point in the game we're definitely considering going out, getting some charcoal and some highquality steaks and grilling that all up, we'll get some shishkabobs and have it for Earth Day, right on the Diag - we might very wen be there, so check us out, all ready to go. Please address an advertising and subscriptioninquiries to: Publisher cio the Michigan Review. Editorial And Business Offices: 911 N. University Avenue, Suite One Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 EMAIL: MREV@umich.edu URL: http://www.umich.eduI-mrev/ Tel. (313) 647-8438 Fax (313) 936-2505 Capyrtght 0 , .... by ThlIIichIgIn All rtghta _ _ RrIlew, Inc.

ThlII/chIgaII R..".., II • member 01l1li CoIIegiItt Network.

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April 22, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o SERPENT'S TOOTH

Unharmed, Keppl~ Walks From Major Accident lNmALLy JUBILANT STUDENTS DISMAYED, AMAzED

NA SURPRISE DEVELOPment on Tuesday, April 7th, Review Editor BeIijamin Kepple walked away unharmed from a major car accident involving his 1997 Ford Taurus GL and two very large semitrucks. Many students and administrators at the University were jubilant upon hearing news of the crash, but their joy turned to amazement as it came out that Kepple suffered only a small cut on his knee. The crash, which essentially destroyed Kepple's car and did virtually no damage to both trucks, summoned over a dozen emergency vehicles and closed eastbound 1-94 for close to an hour. Kepple, who had been driving at approximately 60 miles per hour in the left lane ofI-94 in Dearborn, was forced to swerve around a huge piece of truck tire retread, which caused him to lose control of his car. His car swerved into the center lane, back into the left, then back into the center lane, at which point the right rear part of Kepple's car struck a semitruck. This tap caused Kepple's car to swerve into the right lane, facingtraffic, at which point Kepple's car was struck head-on by a car carrier traveling between 55 and 60 miles per hour. No citation was issued by the Michigan State Police. According to one in-state University student, this was the "coolest" accident-to happen in the Metro Detroit area since 1995, when an oil tanker exploded in a collision on the 175/1-94 junction, taking six other vehicles with it. However, LSA fifth-year senior Oliver Merriam sharply disagreed. "I mean, you'd think he'd have some kind of life-altering iIijury. I mean, he's Editor of the Review. He isn't very agreeable. He deserves to have his fibula and tibia atleast bent." Other students also concurred. "Kepple is the ugly, fat, neo-conservative bastard child of all that is evil," said LSA Senior Saul Guerilla. "Unlike political scientists like myself, Kepple is presumptuous and arrogant for insinuating that normal people can have an opinion of their very own. After all, I spent three entire years on my political science B.A." Assistant Associate Deputy for University Relations Mitchell van Rijn noted, "'Th.e University does admit to denying alleging that Mr. Kepple was a ... well, I can't say that on the air ... are we on the air? ... Right. Anyhow, the University alS(t wishes to deny

the completely false and untrue rumors that the Assistant Undersecretariat for Multicultural A~ • d P C ~ --':'-"~ ':1 .n-uaus an . . I ~~ ;n:::: Commissar, Dr. Leon P. Muntz, lit a cigar and laughed maniacally in his office upon hearing news. " Some students used the opportunity opened by Kepple's accident . to criticize the Review, which is seen by some as reactionary and insensitive. "'Th.e Review is not conducive to a nice atmosphere here at Michigan," said MSA Representative and Environmental Issues Commission Chair Emily Strauss. "In 1997, over 9.3 billion animals were killed for food." In a response, Managing Editors Lee Bockhorn and Chris Carnacchio announced they would eat steak every night for a week and continue the Review's practice of using rare condor blood for blue ink and banner coloring. Carnacchio reportedly suffered a head iIijury after Strauss beat him furiously over the head with a pinetree sapling, shouting, "Use mass transit! Use mass transit!" incessantly. Kepple gleefully declared, "I am invincible!" after climbing free from the wreckage of his vehicle. He was last seen in Belize organizing a coup d'etat in order to have the Central American nation remade into a British protectorate. Mt

tx-t:dltor Benjamin K~ stands with his Ex-Car.

Farewell to The Michigan Review'sGraduating Seniors Benjamin Kepple, editor-in-chief, is graduating with a B.A. in History; We're still 'amazed that 4e got an actual, paying job with a liberal arts degree. Still, if the job doesn't work out, he can always fall back on professional gambling or stuntdriving. Having tormented the U-M ·administration for 4 years at the Review, Ben's last official act of defiance will be to streak naked at Commencement while holding aloft an American flag and shouting"Live Free Or Die!"

KristinaCurkovic, arts editor, is graduatingwithaB.A. in English and Linguistics. Kristina has brought culture and taste to an otherwise depraved and psychotic editorial board, and plays a mighty fine tuba to boot. She is heading off to law school, where she will try to do the same for a community of vile, slimy future litigators. (Good luck with that!)

Maureen Sirhal, staff writer, is graduating with a B.A. in Political Science arid English. When not contributing stellar articles to the Review, Maureen could be found arguing with Buckley or Evan abou.t whether Starbucks is bent on world domination. The Review plans on trading the rights to Maureen to the Heritage Foundation's Policy Review for a laser printer.

Going away for the summer? Worried about FOUR MONTHS away from The Michigan Review! Ahhhhhh!

Congratulations on surviving the liberal cesspool otherwise known as U of M, and good luck in the future! Now go make a lot of money, and send it all back to us!

Check out the Review online this summer for periodic updates and information about U-M! Keep informed this summer! http://www.umich.edul-mrev

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April 22, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o FROM SUITE ONE

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Speaker Choice Uninspired ~··~

HE UNIVERSITY HAS HAD A VERY EXCITING AND PRIDEinspiring year. In 1997- 1998 the U-M has seen two national championships and other major successes in athletics, a championship in college bowl, a Rhodes Scholar, a successful Year of the Arts and Humanities, the successful completion of a one billion dollar fund~raising campaign, and the usual academic success that the University is accustomed to, with its tine faculty and researchers. In addition, the University has always had a tremendous reputation as one of the tinest uni'lersities in the nation, a leader in scientific and academic achievements, its graduate schools consistently rariking among the best in the country. Yet for commencement, the most important day for our university's graduates, the school books a little-known speaker whose name and words are as unfamiliar to U students as are those of a Daily editorialist. This year's choice for spring commencement speaker, Mamphela Ramphele, is a disappointment for many U-M graduates and their families. The announcement of last year's speaker, newly appointed U- M president Lee Bollinger, was unsurprising and unexciting; the University and its seniors were hoping that the following year's speaker would be a more well-known and popular national figure. Graduation is a time not only of solemn reflection and celebration, but a tinal chance for seniors to take advantage of the prestige of the University and take pride that their school can present them with a tinal parting gift of sorts - the opportunity to see an important, widely-known figure speak for their own benefit. Although she is prestigious in her own right, the speaker's reach is limited and few U-M students recognize her name or importance. Her choice as speaker ' celebrates not the University's prestige and pride, nor its recent successes and popularity. Instead, this year's commencement speaker seems to call out toward an audience whose worries over recent affirmative action lawsuits must be appeased. This year's speaker speaks not to the graduates who do not know her, but to an administration that needs to show the world a sign ofits mindless commitment to what it calls "diversity." It has been a long while since the University has booked a spring commencement speaker who sparked any excitement among graduates and their families . During the past four years (excluding last year's Bollinger), University spring commencement speakers have looked quite similar: this year, an African woman educator; in 1996, an African-American woman president of Spellman College, and in 1995 an African-American woman, head of the Children's Defense Fund. We must question whether the U-M is selecting speakers who will impress the audience, or sending a message that the U-M wants everyone else to hear. Looking at other schools around the country, we should follow their lead and invite speakers whose are renowned and recognized by students. The University of Pennsylvania has had speakers like Bill Cosby, Tom Brokaw, Jane Alexander, Henry Cisneros, Hillary Clinton and Barbara Bush since 1990. Last year, the College of William and Mary had the honor of hosting Margaret Thatcher, and MIT had an amusing address from Kurt Vonnegut. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg will addl-ess this year's graduates at Northwestern. Our own Schools of Medicine and Engineering have the opportunity this spring to listen to the Surgeon General and head of NASA. Yet, the U-M as a whole has failed in recent years to supply its graduates with speakers worthy of their time and investment in their school. Why should we, students of one of the greatest collegiate traditions in the U.S., look with envy upon any other school? Granted, the U-M's policy regarding speakers seems to be this: to chose not a general speaker, but to ask one of the already-selected honorary degree recipients to speak. This has led to virtually unknown speakers and graduation ceremonies that many graduates are reluctant to attend. This is an obvious problem: graduates know that individual recognition is impossible at the largescale event. The day that is supposed to be about them and their accomplishments has become instead a day for the University to again bombard us with its unceasing ideals and messages. If our graduates are unable to receive the special recognition that they deserve, the school at least owes them a memorable commencement with a renowned, recognizable speaker. A change of policy might be necessary; a change in ideas and dogmas might be necessary, too. As 1996 MSA President Flint Wainess said two years ago to the Daily, the commencement speech "should both draw attention to the University of Michigan and serve as food for thought for graduates ; [This year's speaker] might meet one of those stipulations, but she doesn't meet both." The same ho\ds true this year. Hopefully, next ye~ both stipulations will be met. Ml. . -

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WARNING : The President has determined that not buying cigarettes is harmful to his budget projections .

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o COMMENTARY Budget Up in Smoke

HEN THE NATION'S BIGGEST TOBACCO COMPANIES, PHILIP Morris and RJR Nabisco (the "Big Two"), pulled out of the national tobacco settlement, they missoomaking the announcement on April Fool's Day by two days. For those who enjoy irony, it was a shame, since the collapse of this deal splashes egg on a lot offoolish faces. Little, if anything, was "small" about the settlement. Cigarette manufacturers would have paid nearly $370 billion over the next 25 years, including $50 billion alone in punitive damages. It involved big changes in tobacco advertising - no more billboards, no more human images, and huge restrictions on "pomtofpurchase" advertising. The tobacco companies got a bit of largesse themselves: immunity from future class-action lawsuits for their past deeds. The deal blew up when the Senate Commerce Committee proposed their own "settlement," striking out the tobacco company class-action immunity, and increasing the monetary penalties. Realistically, this was a bill the tobacco companies had to reject; $510 billion would have been a lot to pay for classaction immunity, period, and it would be loony to foot that bill without the class-action suit immunity. The desired changes in tobacco advertising raised significant First Amendment concerns. Getting those legal worries aside was important to the settlement in another aspect: it would have allowed more attention for the crucial question of class-action lawsuit immunity. Now the government will face two potential derailing legal issues, rather than one. Big Tobacco's walk from the table may have cost them, as well. Several investment firms have downgraded their assessments of The Big Two, claiming that the potential penalties of the new bill are far too much risk to bear. Worse yet, stockholders have decided that walking away was distinctly unprofitable. Stock prices for the Big Two are down around 5% since the announcement, despite a pair ofsignificant tobacco company victories in courts in recent weeks. The important issue in this whole hullabaloo is the federal budget. The nation's current fiscal budget passed Congress with a forecasted surplus - but not without a big chunk of revenue from a tobacco settlement. At the time, Clinton's move to include these settlement funds in the budget plan was lauded as a political masterstroke. The move put Republicans in a quandary - if they stood in favor of "Big Tobacco," they would be blasted for tanking any shot of a balanced budget. Machiavelli himself would have blushed. Yet now, the tobacco settlement is wrecked, and if Machiavelli wasn't impressed before, he certainly should be now":"'" for now, we have no settlement, or hope of a timely reconciliation. We also have no balanced budget - another Clinton promise. And where is the media coverage of the failed balanced budget plan? Nowhere to be found. Apparently, it isn't failing to balance the budget if the preSS never covers it. Ml. - Matthew Buckley

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Aeri122, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o LoST IN THE EIGHTIESTM

It's Not Your Father's Farewell Column 'II,

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BY BENJAMIN KEPPLE

LL RIGHT, LISTEN CLOSE. I'm not going to stand here and wax poetic about the wonders of working at the Review, nor am I going to (or would, believe me) complain, a la the Daily Arts staff, how much I hate living in Michigan and how much I will enjoy spitting in the faces of Michiganders everywhere when I graduate, given that this is my final column. You deserve much better than that for bearing with me the past two and a half years - ye Gods - that I've written Lost In The EightiesN , and as usual, I'm going to heap on the vitriol for one last, sweet column. The University of Michigan is a great school. I'll probably never look fondly upon my actual schooling here, but it is a great place to go to college. After all, it allowed me to get involved with the Review, which has allowed me to make a lot of friends and meet a lot of interesting and fun people I hope to keep in touch with. But before I go, here are some parting shots regarding: • THE MICIDGAN STUDENT ASSEMBLY: If there was a way to fund student groups without this bloated cadaver of inefficiency, I'd take it. Over the past four years, I've seen the mediocre ofthe earth pass through the chamber doors ofthat hideous psuedo-body politic. Sure, there have been some misguided idealists and disgruntled politicos that make it in, but they generally get disgusted and quit after a while. But who could blame them? After all, it turns the stomach to see supposedly adult human beings acting important when they are sham officers working for a sham government with enough power to swat a fly if the Administration lets them. It is even more nauseating when you see some ofthe measures they have passed or attempted to pass. For example, the recent flap over MSAcampaign posters. Unless you're not on e-mail or don't read the Daily, you all know the story. LSA Sophomore (in more ways than one) Dale Winling runs for MBA and exacerbates racial tension because his version of racially charged humor, as he calls it, isn't that funny to a large number of students. Personally, I Benjamin Kepple i8. or rather, was, Editor-in-Chief of the Review. After graduation, he will be working in Lo8 Angeles, California injoumalism. No more cold wintertl! No more cold wintertiI No more cold wintertl! Yes! Yes/ Yes' .Get down/~:ps. SOT?: . , , ,', ... ~

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think Winling has the IQ of a handball dipped in liquid nitrogen. However, this does not mean that anyone on this campus has the right to stifle his freedom of speech. Unless, of course, you're Olga Savic. Now, on the March 31st meeting of the MSA, where "debate" took place in the hallowed chambers of this penny-ante pre-lawyers club, the Daily reported that Olga "In Student Government Forever" Savic "choked back tears" as she said the Assembly should stand strong against racism and not hide behind the "mantra" of free speech. Well, gosh, I'm touched. Guilt is weUingup from within! My hardened, conservative heart is cracking! We've got to stop hiding behind free speech and stamp out racism! Pull out the human weeds who still think this way and stomp on them and squirt them with weed poisons! The Constitution? Oh ... well, we'll just ignore that! We've got to stamp out racism! It lurks everywhere, you know! EVERYWHERE! Look! Those people over there are against affirmative action! They must be racist! We must regulate their speech and tear off their limbs and turn their skills into drinking goblets! No, wait! THERE ARE CONSERVATIVES OVER THERE! QUICK! CENSURE! SMITE! PERSECUTE! The last thing we need is for the Michigan Student Assembly to attempt regulating anything, much less our Rights As Guaranteed By The Constitution. • PROTESTING. Conservative journalist M. Stanton Evans once remarked that there was one great liberal solution: "Have a Problem? Hold a Rock Concert!" It doesn't do much of anything to actually help, but it makes everyone involved feel important and people generally soothe their consciences that way. Witness Evans' dictum in action with the Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary (BAMN). Have a Problem? Hold a Protest! Uh oh! Is Ward Connerly coming to speak? Instead ofengaging in rational dialogue intended to further explore the ramificatipns of affirmative action and its consequences, BAMN will scream and chant incoherently for the better part of an hor in order to shout down anyone who dares step out of line with their feeble-minded, childish ranting. You can watch as their overtaxed brains, clogged with the babblings of socialism and the products ofintellectual madmen, miserably attempt to counter the well-reasoned, rational

Mal,clothesonthefloorarenotstairpresented in a calm manner (again, see Connedy.) cases for roaches; all my intern friends It's pretty obvious that protesting at NJC, especially the 632 Constitudoesn'twork,andthatinToday'sNew tion crowd: Greg (see you in Vegas, World, we have to convince our oppoOctober, Horseshoe Club, 100x odds, nents using rational and intellectual roll the diceD, John, Simon, Matt, means. This is not 1968. We are not Mike (you can't even pass!), Derrick beingsentofftowarhere--thereisno (you got a Pulliam, soon a Pulitzer?), reason to protest. When I protested and even Alex, who stole my urnthe Code back in 1995 and marched brelladuringoneofthosehumiddowninto the Fleming building, I did 80 pours -- thanks for everything, guys. because I thought it would actually I couldn't have done an this without help. How wrong I was. What we you. Additional thanks (and an apolshould have done was to work at The New Propaganda Battle: inform ogy) to Jesse, who wanted to step in when I wouldn't let him (keep up the alumni and work on a media blitz -not rant and rave and take over the guitar, kid, you'll make it); Fleming building. Maryanne, who quoted me and • JOURNALISM. It is the job of quoted me fairly; Jeff Muir, the oldthe media to objectively present news school Review columnist; Jeff, I tried; and information, and I've tried my my extended family for their supbest to make sure that our hard news port of John's crazy son and their pieces in the Review were informative excitement when I got on NewsHour; and objective. I think that is why James Miller for making the Daily many liberal readers read us: not just readable at least one day out of the because they're infuriated by our week; Affirmative action oppoviews, but because they want to know nents for standing strong against afwhat is going on. firmative action proponents who It is the job of the editorialist to were screaming mad: both groups make his point in a clear and effective __ made great copy for me and 100 other manner, using every scrap of fact and' journalists; my car, for being a runwit at his disposal. It is his job to ning gag, even in death; and last but make the facts that he wants known certainly not least, thanks to all the to be known. That's why people on readerswhoreadandlaughedlcriedl campus read us as well. To wrap up: fumedlwrote angry letterslthreatened everyone on campus reads the Daily. me. Every minute was worth it. The informed student reads both the Laborare est orare. Daily and the Review. To work is to pray. And as a final note: Oderint, dum metuant. Let them hate me, provided A heartfelt thanks to Jim, they fear me. Mohan, and Geoff for being great Editors to work with; Aaron for the Publisher's training and Sang for taking on the job; Lee and Chris for GLEEFUL THAT BENJAMIN being great Managing Editors (Evan KEPPLE WILL NO LONGER BE and Matt for bearing with me); KrisAROUND TO TORMENTYOUWITH tina and Tom for civilizing the rest of HIS SICK, EVIL COLUMNS?! us with the Arts section; Ben for Ye Don't party down just yet. Olde Awesome WWWpage;Momand Dad for the support and love only READC.J. CARNACCHIO-theman parents could give; Eric and Dave who criticized the homeless on Thanksfor being the Editor's Sounding Board; giving - every issue of the Review Simon for being there through thick next year in his column, "Send Lawand thin; Jamie and Gonzo for putyers, Guns, and Money... " ting up with me; all the Review editors who've helped with The Cause REAl) LEE BOCKHORN - the man even up to today -- especially John J. who protects Western culture from the likes ofSafetygirl- every issue of Miller, Steve Angelotti, and Bryan the Review next year in his column, Jendryka-yeGods,nowI'maformer "Lanterns & Lances." editor too; all the great folks at the Collegiate Network who were inThe Mi~an Review. crediblyhelpfulandnevercomplained We're like the mythical hydra: once about dealing with me over three years: Tony, Thor, Christina, and Chop oft' one head. especially Stan; the National JourTwo more replace it. nali8m Cen_, which had faith and

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

April 22, 1998

o SEND LAWYERS, GUNS, & MONEY...

Earth Day &",Eco-totalitarians BY

C.J. CARNAccmo

vironmentalists disparage property rights as a defense of materialism and greed. But, their attack on property rights is really an attack on individual liberty. One of the foremost precepts of natural law is man's right to the possession and use of his property. Both Jeffersonian and Lockean political thought agree that the surest way for the State to erode its citizens' liberty is to control their property. Separate property from private ownership, and the State becomes master of all. The Southern Agrarian philoso-

ELL, ONCE AGAIN ITS time for everybody's favorite leftist/statist holiday, Earth Day. Time for all those neohippies, Marxists, and general liberal do-gooders to strap on their Birkenstocks and do their best Chicken Little impressions. This is a particularly special Earth Day, since it is taking place in the shadow of the University's Environmental Brainwashing Semester. Today, all those little School ofN atural Resources and Environment eco-stormtroopers will be out in full force preaching the coming of an environmental apocalypse. For all the eco-wackos' rhetoric about global warming, deforestation, and endangered slugs, they never seem to mention the consequences of the Green ideology. The true agenda ofthe environmentalist movement is the decimation of individual liberty and the aggrandizement of State power. The environmental movement is merely a political Trojan horse by which the Left can further subordinate the individual to the State. Let's look at what the eco-totalitarians are really after. Property Rights: Under the guise of defending the environment, the imperial Congress has been able to enact laws which allow government officials to confiscate private property, prevent landowners from using their property as the owner sees fit, levy fines of up to $25,000 a day for landowners who do not comply with their regulations, and even jail landowners who use their property for any other purpose than that which the State has dictated. As Dixie Lee Ray wrote in her brilliant book Environmental Overkill. "With the stroke of a pen, a bureaucrat can declare private property to be a wetland, the habitat for a protected species, or a possible roosting place for a passing migratory bird, and the landowner can be prevented by law from doing anything with his land, other than continue to pay taxes on it. The landowner has no recourse - save at enormous personal expense - to sue the government." What better way to control someone's property, and ultimately people themselves, than to subordinate one's private property rights to lofty environmental concerns. The en-

The environmental movment is merely a political Trojan horse by which the Left can further subordinate the individual to the State.

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pher Richard Weaver believed that the right of private property must be defended as "the last metaphysical right remaining to us." He declared private property to be one of the last places citizens can truly find refuge from the encroaching State and warned of the tyranny of the "propertyless bureaucrat." Political thinker Paul Elmer More defends property rights proclaiming, "Security of property is the first and all-essential duty of civilized community ... To the civilized man the rights of property are more important than the right to life." Private property is so intimately linked with individual liberty that the Founding Fathers found it necessary to incorporate its protection into the Bill of Rights under the Fifth Amendment: "No person shall ... be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process oflaw; nor shall private property be taken for public use without just compensation." So, when the environmentalists attack private property rights in their Captain Planet crusading, they are really looking to strip the individual of his liberty and enslave him to the State. Bureaucratic Tyranny: Under the Constitution, the preservation of freedom requires the dispersal and distribution ofpolitical i>owerthrough a system of checks and balances. It is essential that no one branch of the federal government becQme more powerful than the others or usurp the powers of the other branches.

C.J. Camacchio is the Managing Editor of the Review. He would like to set fire to that giant environmentalscuipture near the Diag and roast SNRE stu~nts over it. "

Unfortunately this is exactly what has happened to the regulatory arm of the State, the Bureaucracy. It has become the unofficial fourth branch ofgovernment; unelected and accountable to virtually no one. The powers of the executive, legislative, and judicial branches have all been concentrated in the Bureaucracy. The Bureaucracy is allowed to function as a lawmaker and in cases involving its own regulations, it even serves as both judge andjury. Presidents, Congressmen, Senators, and Supreme Court justices may come and go, but the Bureaucracy remains entrenched and all powerful. It is through the bureaucratic rogue elephant the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) that the environmentalists have had the greatest success in implementing their tyrannical agenda. In 1974, Irving Kristol correctly predicted the extent ofthe EPA's power today: "Ifthe EPA's concept of mission is permitted to stand, it will be the single most powerful branch of the government, having far greater control over our individual lives than Congress, or the .

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saying, "I think ifwe don't overthrow capitalism, we don't have a chance of saving the world ecologically. I think it is possible to have an ecologically sound society under socialism. I don't think it's possible under capitalism." Judy, do you remember the ecological disasters of the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe? According to political writer David Horowitz, in order to achieve the ecological balance the radical environmentalists advocate it would be necessary to progressively narrow "the gap to reduce the difference between the Earth's wealthiest and poorest inhabitants" until there are "more or less equal shares for all people." The proletariats' political potential fell short of the Marxists' expectations so now they have moved on to being the vanguard ofdolphins and trees. When building a dictatorial politica1 movement it is always good to represent an element that cannot think or speak; it cuts down on disagreements. In attacking the free market, the environmentalists are looking to strip people of not only their economic liberty but also their political liberty, for the two intimately linked. As economist Milton Friedman pointed out, "[AJ society which is socialist cannot also be democratic, in the sense ofguaranteeing individual freedom ... The kind of economic organjzation that provides economic freedom directly, namely competitive capitalism, also promotes political freedom because it separates economic power from political power and in this way enables the one to offset the other." In the environmentalists' so-called crusade to save the planet, their drive to enslave the world economically will ultimately lead to political enslavement as well. In the end, the environmentalists' agenda will lead to death of liberty and the rise of an ecologically based totalitarian society. The environmentalists' may say that theirs is a noble crusade to save the planet, but let us not forget that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. l\R

vironmentalists are really Marxian socialists in a treehugging disguise. Executive, or state, or local government." The EPA is currently allowed to confiscate and regulate private property, saddle businesses with overbearing and costly regulations, and impose its will on state and local units of government. No one dares question its dictates or the legitimacy of its authority. When a government agency is allowed to possess so much unchecked power, the liberty ofa nation's citizens will become the true endangered species. Economic Liberty: Essentially, the environmentalists are really Marxian socialists in a tree-hugging disguise. Environmental protection has become the new weapon of choice with which to attack free market capitalism. The environmentalists'hatred of private property, the free market, and the upper classes are all derivatives of the Marxist ideology. Judy Bari, a representative of radical eco-terrorist group Earth First! was quoted in a June 25, 1992 ). ,\~01~e~~~~I.l~~1st .%re~~);Y¥l~ffl~Y

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April 22, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o LANTERNS & LANCES

Safetygirl: Trasb TV, Ann Arbor Style LEE BOCKBORN

and you will see what I mean.) lucky progeny will have, with mom's Safetygirl teUs us that the motifriendSafetygirlmakingfrequentvis, - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . , vation for PRING HAS FINALLY ARher televirived in fits and. starts here in sion show Ann Arbor, .and the masses com e s have taken to the streets in sweats from her and sneakers, lookiAg to shed a few own mispounds before summer breezes into takes in town. Watching the throngs go forth the realm to jog or rollerblade, one sees a demof sex. Beonstration of one of modem man's cause she telling traits: as we become less conwas "nacerned about the trash that goes into ive," she our brains (Jerry Springer et al), we became attempt to compensate by becoming pregnant extra-vigilant about our bodies. Witat the age ness the recent uproar over tobacco, of 16 (and the scores of infomercials for "bun acquired a and thigh sculptors," and our ansexually guished realization that every item transmiton the grocery store shelf is proven to ted disease cause everything from baldness to from her diarrhea. boyfriend Ann Arbor's citizenry proves the. in the propoint. Ai; the town sprints over to cess), and Jerusalem Garden for the requisite nearly healthy, organic vegetarian fare, it mlscarhas also voted overwhelmingly to choose "Get Curious With Safetygirl" L..-----S-afety-g-lrI-;-Th-I-S-de-fl-n-lte-ly-l-sn-'t-w.-'-yne-'s-w. -'orl-d------" ried. AtlPas the "Best Community Access TV paren, Y-r-"" show" in Current magazine's 1998 its.) While describing one such "stimuthe lesson Safetygirlleamed from this "Best ofAnn Arbor" poll. Mr. Springer lation" technique, Safetygirl proexperience was not that sexual activand his daytime cohorts have nothing ity should only be engaged in by those claimed that the last time someone on our friend Safetygirl, as you shall who are aware of the possibly serious used it on her, she "was a river of see. honey." physical and emotional consequences, "Safetygirl" is the nom de plume After a few minutes, vaginal but instead that one must merely "be of one Tanya Brown, a local resident safe" in the neverending pursuit of, in stimulation got old, so Safetygirl prowho tells us that her mission as ceeded to ask Eve how pregnancy had her eloquent formulation, "getting off." Safetygirl is to "inform, educate, and affected her sex life, and what "posiAnd so, inspired by her personal more than anything else, entertain" tions" worked best for an expectant struggle, Miss Brown created "Get us sexually repressed folks as she Curious with Safetygirl," of which a mother. To help demonstrate, presents her "unique, no-nonsense sampling of episodes includes the folSafetygirl brought out her pet dildo, approach to sexuality." Ofcourse, this named "Suzy" (I'm not kidding), and lowing titles: "Vulva Blues, Vulva is community access television, so joined Eve in a graphic display of News, Vulva and You," "I'm a Happy Miss Brown makes a lame attempt to Eve's preferred positions. The show Orgasmic Middle Aged Woman," "At characterize her program as "educaconcluded with a discussion of variThe Movies: Porn and Erotica Retional" ("Get Curious ... " is a "safe sex" ous role-playing scenarios for sex ("actview," and "Discussion with Attorney program), lest she be accused by puriing like animals" was "Faith's" choice), Geoffrey Feiger" (better known as the tanical busybodys like myself of and with Safetygirl's admonition for legal apologist for that noble soul, Dr. merely peddling smut on loCal TV. us to "be free and safe!" Jack Kervorkian). We learn all these And what sorts of "educational" topI happened to run across "Get things about Safetygirl on the ineviics are covered on "Get Curious?" One table "Safetygirl" Website, of course. Curious" for the first time a few weeks recent, and representative, episode ago while channel surfing; I check (Safetygirl is thoroughly modem, not featured four women discussingvarilocal channels 8 and 9 in the evenings only in her morals, but also in her ous techniques for "vaginal stimulabecause they often play terrific jazz means of conveying them to others.) tion." Safetygirl and friends proceeded and big band music while the computWhat is striking about Safetygirl to demonstrate these techniques for erized "Community Bulletin Board" and her friends is their utter coarsethe audience with the help of "Eve," ness; their lack of any sense of the is on the screen. Needless to say, I was who was wearing a strap-on replica of a little surprised to discoverSafetygirl. non-physical aspect of the human female genitalia, and who also hapThe first reaction one has while watchsexual experience. One wonders if pened to be pregnant. (One can only ing the show (before revulsion sets in) these crude persons are capable of imagine who the father is, or what anything resembling a truly loving is to laugh; it is hard not to chuckle at sort of enlightening home life Eve's a group of women who would meet and passionate relationship; where any reasonable .definition of "white sex is not just a romp in the hay, but Lee Bockham is Managing Editor of trash" engaging in lurid sex talk with a union of soWs. "Faith's" preference the Review and 1'n4iors in Music I Potheir thick, Midwestern accents. for "acting like animals" during sexual litical Science. His column. Lanterns (Imagine four charaCters from 'the role-playing isn't reaiJ.y much of & Lances - ofwhich this is the debut movie Fargo sitting around and S8Y"act" for the good folks at "Get Curi- will appe.a.r. bereJ.n. tb,efalL • - -'-- , • ~ -·.me words like "dildo" and "orgasm," ous." Their view of sex, with its sole

aim for everyone to "get off' in as sterile and "safe" a manner as possible, denies that human sexuality has any spiritual or emotional elements which might make it more than the moral equivalent of two dogs humping behind a bam. What is even more aggravating to those with some residual sense of decorum and decency, is that the same types of people who always whine that "government has no place in the bedroom," "what consenting adults do in private is their own business," etc., are often the same cretins who fight to parade their perversion for all to endure in non-private forums like public access television. Back to the wonderful, tolerant and enlightened residents of Ann Ar~ .bor. Ai; they begin their maniacal jogging and calorie-counting this spring, at least something good can be said for their fanatical obsession with physical health: all of that exercise keeps them away from their TVs.1E)t's hope that Ann Arborites soon go on a crash diet from junk food television like the sludge served up by "Safetygirl." Mt

The Michigan Review used to lie dormant for four months every year. And for the politically correct mavens ofinjustice that inhabited the murky corners of the University of Michigan campus, it was pleasing to look at the Review office and the deserted workstations and the abandoned shore. BUT NO LONGER! The Michigan Review's

SUMMER

ON-LINE EDITION IS COMING! Check out our WWW site: http://www.um.ich.edul -mrev this summer.

The Michigan Review. Because the Fleming Buil<ling must be destroyed.

April 22, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS COMMENTARY

Take Back the,~ight from Feminists BY

C.J. CARNAccmo

ET'S SKIP THE FLOWERY introduction and the usual lead into the article and get straight to the point: the Take Back The Night (TBTN) March is not about combating the criminal act of rape by taking substantive measures to make the streets safer or dolling out harsher sentences to rapists and other sex offenders. The march is about using rape as a political vehicle to advance a radical feminist and anti-male agenda. The organizers of this sham event should be ashamed of themselves for politicizing rape. They not only demean the women who have been victimized, they also trivialize the act ofrape itself. In her book The Morning After: Sex, Fear, and Feminism on Campus, neo-feminist Katie Roiphe summed up the march perfectly when she wrote, "Take Back The Night is an umbrella march covering fear in general, frustration in general, and the belief that men are out to get women." Her book critiques the false notion of a "rape epidemic" and the rise ofwhat she terms "rape-crisis feminism." Roiphe sees these rape-crisis feminists as using rape as a political tool to gain authority and stifle opposing viewpoints: "Rape is a natural trump card for feminism. Arguments about rape can be used to sequester feminism in the teary province of trauma and crisis. They can block analysis' with statements like 'You can't possibly understand what I've been through.'" She further remarks, "For many feminists, then, rape becomes a vehicle, a way to get from here to there. By blocking analysis with its unique pandemic suffering, the rape crisis becomes a powerful source of authority. " In a Machiavellian way rape is a perfect political vehicle because it conjures up emotionally charged images of horrific violence, physical violation, and pure evil. The rape-crisis feminists are able to camouflage their political agenda under this powerful imageryth us making opponents seem at best sexist or insensitive and at worst pro-rape. It is also important to examine how the rape-crisis feminists define rape for their political purposes. Roiphe finds that, "Everyone agrees that rape is a terrible thing, but we don't agree on what rape is ... 'Rape' becomes a catchall expression, a word used to define everything that is unpleasant and disturbing about relations between the sexes. Students say things like 'I realize that sexual ha-

rassment is a kind of rape. Ifwe refer to a spectrum of behavior from emotional pressure to sex~al harassment as rape, then the idea itself gets diluted." Some rape-crisis feminists like the U-M Law School's very own Catherine MacKinnon would have us believe that all sex is rape: "[TJ he major distinction between intercourse (normal) and rape (abnormal) is that the normal happens so often that one cannot get anyone to see anything wrong with it." The rape-crisis feminists are also obsessed with this politically correct notion of sex. Roiphe explains that for these feminists the idea of consent has gone beyond the simple "no means no." These feminists believe there must be a clear verbal, and in some cases written, consent (a yes!) otherwise it is rape. Roiphe sees this as demeaning to women: "The idea that only an explicit yes means yes proposes that women, like children, have trouble communicating what they want ... Beyond its dubious premises about the limits offemale communication, the idea of active consent bolsters the stereotypes of men just out to 'get some' and women who don't really want any." Roiphe also criticizes the march's portrayal of women as helpless, inferior victims as opposed to the traditional feminist ideal of strong, independent, equal people. She writes, "Take Back the Night works against its own political purpose. Although the march is intended to celebrate and bolster women's strength, it seems instead to celebrate their vulnerability. The marchers seem to accept, even embrace, the mantle of victim status. As the speakers describe every fear, every possible horror suffered at the hands of men, the image they project is one of helplessness and passivity. The march elaborates on just how vulnerable women are ... The primal idea of women as hunted and men as hunters is there." Even one of the founding leaders of the feminist movement ,Betty Friedan, criticizes the victimization message of the TBTN March: "Obsession with rape, even offering BandAids to its victims, is a kind of wallowing in that victim state, that impotent rage, that sterile polarization." The essence of the Michigan TBTNMarch was anti-male paranoia. The marchers did their best to prove that their rally was not anti-male. They stated in the evening's program that, "We know most of you [men] would never assault any woman." They thanked the men who attended the rally for being so supportiXe. They , e N " .,,,,,,-

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even stated that sexual assault victims and perpetrators can be either gender. In their program they declared, "[R] ape must be a community issue." Despite this tidy little bit of public relations tripe, much of the evening took on a decidedly anti-male, militant feminist tone. First of all, only women were allowed to participate in the march itself. This automatically defeats the notion of rape being a community issue. Excluding men from the march perpetuates the idea that all men are predators and rapists. Community problems cannot be solved by excluding half of the community. Early feminists argued that you cannot claim a nation to be free and democratic when half of its population does not vote. Well, by the same token, rape-crisis feminists cannot declare rape to be a community issue (and expect community action) when they exclude men from their march. This goobbledygook about women's solidarity as the reason for male exclusion is a cosmetic political ploy to cover up the divisive nature of the march. We should not be striving fo,!>_ female solidarity or male solidarity, we should be striving for human solidarity. Furthermore, in the program, the organizers stated that, "We seek to expose the political function of rape in our society - that is, keepitlg women terrorized and under the control of men." By stating that rape is a political tool of men, and not a criminal social deviancy, they are indicting all men as rapists. They are saying that all men use rape to advance a misogynist political agenda. The last time I checked the United States government did not have a "rape-squad" to oppress women politically. How many rapists in prison committed their crime as means to a political end? They committed rape because they are perverse, disturbed, anti -social individuals who cannot abide by societal norms and laws. To suggest that rape is a male political tool used to oppress women is not only insulting, it is also political nonsense. The only ones using rape for political ends are the rape-crisis feminists. The speakers did not come right out and say that men are by nature rapists, but it was implied. One speaker, Katie Mattingly, proclaimed that every woman she knew (family members, friends, and co-workers) had been sexually assaulted by men. If every woman she knows has been sexually assaulted, there has to be corresponding number of men to commit these ~cts: Also, every time she ~

stated a statistic, such as "one in four college women are the victims of sexual assault," she said "but we know those numbers are higher." Again there has to be a corresponding number of men doing the assaulting. Her remarks implied in a roundabout way, that all men are potential rapists and cannot be trusted. The event program also stated that "Every single woman in our community must live in constant fear of sexual assault ... We are not safe on the streets; we are not safe in our homes." Again, this promotes the idea that men, be they strangers, family, or friends, are out to get women. Women are prey being stalked by predatory males constantly looking to assault them. In saying that no woman is safe and that every woman must live in constant fear of sexual assault no matter where she is, the rape-crisis feminists are implying that no man, no matter who he is or how long a woman has known him, can be trusted. The message is that all men are rapists or potential rapists. Another problem with the TBTN March is this idea that women do not have the freedom to walk around at night because they must live in constant fear and that men are the only ones who have this freedom. The idea that men are safe and women are not is ludicrous. Danger is not a gender issue. No one, male or female, has the complete freedom to walk around at night free from fear and harm. Freedom from fear is an unrealistic premise and essentially a state of mind. Anyone who believes they can walk around at night with nothing to fear, especially in this day and age of rampantcrime,isself-delusional.Everyone, regardless of gender and size, is vulnerable to a criminal's knife or gun. Again the rape-crisis feminists are portraying this image of men as nighttime predators, vampires if you will, and women as their helpless prey who must live in fear when the sun goes down. Rape is a vile act and no one deserves to be raped. Rape is not a political Left vs. Right issue or a man vs. woman issue. Rape is a human issue. Rape is not a political tool used by males to oppress women, nor are we living in a "rape culture." Rape is the act of demented and perverse individuals who do not respect their fellow man or themselves. The organizers of the TBTN March, and all rape-crisis-feminists, should be ashamed of themselves for co-opting this terrible criminal act as an ideological issue. You are beneath contempt..MEt

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April 22, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Commencement

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Continued from Page 1

of one of South Africa's largest universities. Along with Steve Biko (whose life story was chronicled in the mm Cry Freedom), she was one of the founders of the radical anti-apartheid Black Consciousness Movement in 1969. She was exiled for six years to an impoverished resettlement area for blacks in northern South Africa; during this time, while pregnant with Biko's son, she learned that he had died in police custody. She became the first black woman to be named vice chancellor of a South African university in 1996,and recently chronicled her life story in her autobiography, Across Boundaries. Ramphele has not reached this point without enduring her fair share of controversy. Much of this has centered around her relationship with Biko. She criticized what she termed the"Gandhi-like" portrayal of his life in Cry Freedom, and she herself has been criticized by more radical political adversaries for abusing Biko's legacy "as a way of climbing up the ladder of white privilege." Another source of controversy for Ramphele has been her effort to make the faculty and administration at UCT more racially representative. Although black students now comprise almost half of the University's enrollment, the faculty is still largely white and male. Her public statements on this have been mixed; for example, while she states that "we cannot go into the 21st century on the basis of a profile of deans who are all white males," she has also declared that "no one at UCT will be targeted merely because they are white and male ... competent white men who are doing their jobs will have nothing to fear at UCT and the vast majority fall into this category." Similarly, she rejects the notion of affirmative action, saying she never uses the term because she "rejects its hotion of tokenism," and states that it is a strategy "mindlessly imported from America, where [it hasn't] even worked, because it was all about just giving black people a leg-up rather than profoundly transforming society ." Finally, Ramphele has taken aggressive steps to transform the management structure at UCT, where she has consolidated deanships and instituted a "performance appraisal system" to increase financial responsibility and efficient management.

RICHARD FORD Perhaps the best known of the Commencement hono~s. Richard

Ford will speak at the ~;rkham Comture, upon African and Asian peoples, years. He has been an outspoken adwhile at the same time denigrating mencement ceremony at Hill Auditovocate for Palestinian self-determitheir indigenous cultures. . nation, and has recently been exrium on May 1st. In 1996, Ford's novel Independence Day (not the basis for tremely critical of the Middle East the movie) won both the Pulitzer Prize peace process, believing that the PalMARY LOWE GOOD for Fiction and the PENlFaulkner estinian leadership has made too Good spent 25 years in academia, Award - the first book ever to do so. many concessions to Israel and the most recently as the Boyd Professor of His first novel, A Piece of My Heart, United States. In many of his books, Materials Science at Lousiana State most notably Orientalism (1978) and was published in 1976, and nomiUniversity. Beginning in 1993 and nated for the Ernest Hemingway Culture and Imperialism (1993), Said until recently, she was the Award for Best First Novel. His other. has fiercely criticized the West. In undersecretary for technology in the works include the novels The UltiOrientalism, his thesis was that the Commerce Department of the Clinton mate Good Luck (1981); The Sportsstudy of the Middle East by Western Administration. She has been a sciwriter (1983)-ofwhichIndependence scholars was essentially an imperialence adviser to four U.S. presidents, Day was the sequel; Wildlife (1990); a ist act, for it furthered the aims of collection of short stories, Rock and also served as a member of the imperial powers and contributed to National Science Board for 11 years. Springs (1987); and Women with Men Western perceptions of Arabs as infe(1997), a collection of three novellas. She was most recently was awarded rior and ofIslamic culture as secondthe 1997 Priestley Medal, the highest Born in 1944 in Jackson, Missisrate. Similarly, in Culture and Impehonor ofthe American Chemical Socisippi, he attended Michigan State rialism he argued that the West forced University and studied literature. In its culture, especially its literary culety.l\R between a briefstintin law school and I----;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;~-earning his M.F.A. at the University , , A of California at Irvine in 1970, Ford Stngle Eye Of Light: worked a variety of odd jobs, includSacred Visions (Poems & Letters) ing teaching junior high school, and becoming an assistant science editor Rnnne R. Glea~n a CnlYerslly of ;\flchlgan at American Druggist magazine. In Graduate with concentration In psychology. philosophy and rt'lIglon nils the void within 1981, he became a sportswriter, coveach of us with his new book. ering baseball and college football for Inside Sports in New York. His conPoems stet'ped In cosmic fragrance~,leUt'rs wown In silken yarn, make for a literal reast or the mind. '" ill\u, gasbord of mystical and psychological yerse nection to the U-M goes back almost that reverberates long aft.e rwards In tht' mind of the reader and buttressed by three decades: he was a member of It'f.ters that test one's own sense of reallly. the Michigan Society of Fellows in 1971-74, a faculty member in 1975In the long letter, "Letter to a Young Woman.- Iht' author Inlroduces Psycho-Spiritual commentaries on the Inner life wllh a brief Introductlon 10 76, and the Avery Hopwood Memorial the GurdjltiT-Ospensk1' teachings. T~' o of the gems are as follows: selrLecturer in 1992. He has also taught Remembering; the need 10 transport consciousnt'ss Into Ihl' waking state or at Williams College, Princeton Uniself-remembeHd m(Jlie- This stall' has nothing to do wllh " 'hal you wou.ld versity, Harvard University, and is Imagine It to be. This has nolhlng to do with contemporary psychological now a visiting lecturer at Northwestself-help meanderlng"(s)." Tht' St'Cond gem: The mt'taphyslcal sexual Interplay or energy bt'twl't'n male and rt'malt' rt>Sultlng In Iht' karmic conse· ern University.

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quences of becoming. one Oesh .

EDWARD SAID

In 'Parody Thl' Crllle," thl' aUlhor glvt'S a satlrlcall'xpose' of man's artlnee burled beneath his or her dlvlness. Although tht' author prt'sents a somewhat caus/Ic vl~' of the human condillon In Parod~' The Crllk. II is speckkd wllh humor and bultl'fed with comedy, laughabll'.

Said might very well be the most controversial of the honorary degree recipients. Born in Jerusalem, in 1948 Said and his family were dispossessed from Palestine and settled in Cairo, Egypt. He attended the Victorian College in Egypt, and earned his Ph.D. from Harvard, where he won the Bowdoin Prize. He joined the faculty at Columbia University in 1963, and has taught in the fields of history, music, and literature. Said is wellknown in the world of academia, having lectured at more than 150 universities and colleges in the United States, Canada, and Europe. Professor Said is also active politically, and is considered one of the most prominent intellectuals and cultural critics in the United States t9day. He is a contributing writer and classical music critic for the liberal magazine The Nation , and wasamember of the Palestine National Council, an arm of the Palestinian Liberation Orl;tanization ,(PLO), for .fourteen .

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In "A Child is Born," the author shart'S In (lOt'tk fashion thl' rullli~' of base plt'asurt'S of this world and his I'ventuallransformallon Into the splendors of the heavenly worlds. In "Ovl'fhrard in tht' Gym.' the lIuthor Inlroduct'S an Imaglnuy conversation between a basketball. a basketball backboard, a basketball Ooor. a basketball rim and players. A sensational rt'vle~' on managing both Ihe ~in and loss columns or onl"s heart. In the "Thank You Poem.· thl' author extols thl' leaching \'alue of a m}Tlad or personal encountt'rs In lire. Ronnl' R. Git'lison a graduatl' of thl' linivl'fslty of Michigan with conct'n· tratlons In p~)'chol~·. philosophy. religion and a sludt'nl or GeorgI' C"d1rdjleff. Gold and the holy falhers of the ancient I'sstl'fn Christian orthodox church for o\"t'r twenty I'lght Yl""olrs Is no neaphytl' to the mysterlt'S of life. The author Is al~ a mt'mber or thl' Academy of American Pot'ts. Ronne R. Gleason takes the reader on a fantastic \'oyage \isltlng nt'w heights

or lnnef I'xperlenct'S and undl'fstandings ~n through A Single Eye of Ught. (This book Is garnished In wisdom for young and old allkl'.) With over twmly profound Ind insightful chlptt'f5. one must not miss this eoIden Opportunity to look bPyond the appearance 0{ things. Few books offer as mum.~ A SIRek' Eye or Light: Sacred Visions (poems & Letters) by Romtt' R. GleI!lOl1. F1nd tbe pot 0{ gold at tbe end of the r.lnbow today .t your Iocll f.vorlte book.~ore. ISBN-157501-426-9 DistrIbuted by BIkrr & Taylor $9.95 • ____________IIIi_____________________. ~.··· "' .. •. J' .. !". >A ~ '

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April 22, 1998 _

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o COMPUTING ON CAMPUS

Survive the Summer With Email , • :11''''

BY BENJAMIN RoUSCH

RE YOU GOING HOME TO Mom and Dad for the summer? Have you become an email addict? Do you wonder how you will ever make it though four months without the internet? Ifyou answered yes to any of these questions, then this is the article for you. Within you will find out how to connect to your email and even the rest of the internet from your hometown. It really is easier than you may have thought, and you may even pick up some useful Internet jargon. The only things you need are a computer running Windows95, WindowsNT (Mac users are on their own, and Windows 3.1 users should realize it's almost the 21st century) with a modem, and parents willing to let you tie up the phone line while you surf the web.

THE INTERNET CONNECTION The simplest way to connect to the internet is if your parents already use an Internet Service Provider (lSP) such as America On-Line, Compuserv, or a local ISP. If your parents can write email to you from home (not from work), then they already have an internet connection. The most difficult part of checking email in this case is convincing your parents to let you use their internet account. After you have explained how email is essential to your life and vitality, you just log onto your parents' Internet account (per their instructions). You can then skip to the section below called "The Essential Software." If your parents do not already have an ISP, or they are unconvinced by your arguments, there is still a way to access the World Wide Web (WWW) courtesy of the University of Michigan. There.is a network of servers and phone lines across the State of Michigan which allow you to connect to a local server and from there access your University of Michigan account just as if you were in Angell Hall (well, almost). By accessing this Michnet, you use some of the 80 free hours of Dial-In time lTD is providing for returning students this Summer. The only thing you have to do is find the phone number which will allow you to connect to the local

Michnet server in or near your hometown. A list of these numbers can be found at http://www.merit.michnet/ phonenoslmichnet-nos.html. Be sure you check this list before you leave the U-M for the summer, or you will have a hard time trying to access the list without an internet connection. After you have found the local number appropriate for your home, you can skip to the section below called "Just Email or the WWW?" There are also similar services provided by the U-M which stretch across the country. These services charge more than just the 80 hours of Dial-In time allocated to you by lTD, and can vary from region to region. A description of these services can be found at http:// www.com.itd.umich.edu/dialin/ natdial.htmL After you have signed up for one ofthe services, you should follow their instructions for connecting to the Internet, which are probably similar to (but not exactly the same as) those in this article.

JUST EMAll.. OR THE WWW? You must now make a decision whether you want to just check your email, or whether you want to access the whole WWW (using Netscape, FTP, Gopher, etc.). If all you need to do is send and receive email, you will have no problems. If you want to experience the WWW in all its multimedia glory, you will have to do a few things at U-M before you leave for the summer. If you are only going to use email, see the section below called "The Modest Hyperterminal." If you are gunning for the whole WWW, jump to the section below called "Connecting, U-M Style."

THE MODEST BYPERTERMINAL

Open Hyperterminal, follow the instructions, and type in the phone number you looked up on the web. Press the connect button and wait for the Host prompt to come up. Type in "login.itd.umich.edu" at this prompt and hit Return. It will ~k for your login name, at which point you should type in your full unique name along with the ®umich.edu (for example: brousch@umich.edu, not just brousch), and then enter your password. The familiar U-M welcome screen should then appear, and you all know what to from there. This is the end of the email only instructions. CONNECTING, U-M STYLE To connect to the WWW through your U-M Dial-In connection using windows95 you should get the U-M Connectivity Kit. You can either get this by downloading if through FTP from the site login.itd.umich.edul -swdistlbundles, or you can take a trip to the Angell Hall or the School of Education computing sites and download it from one of the Dell workstations. The way you download it fr9Jll-~' a computing site seems to change from time to time, so ask one of the lTD Sites Consultants if it is not immediately obvious. -Whichever way you download the Connectivity Kit, you will need to have five blank 3-1/ 4 inch floppy disks (1.44 Megs, not 700k). When you have an hour or so to spare, pop in the first disk, open A: \ setup.exe, and follow the direction& which should appear. If you are using NT, I assume you or someone in your family is somewhat familiar computers, and I will provide the proper network settings on the Michigan Review's web site. Access the following page and print it out: http:// www.umich.edul-mrev/exc1usives/ NTsettings.htm. After the Connectivity Kit is installed (or, with NT, the network settings are correct) continue to the section below called "The Essential Software."

iar login screen. The U-M Connectivity Kit comes with a program called "Host Presenter" which can also be used like telnet, however you may have to spend some time adjusting the font sizes and types to get it to look right. Most computers running Windows95 or NT4 have Internet Explorer 3 pre-installed on them. You can use this to surf the WWW, or you can download a different browser from Microsoft's (http:// www.microsoft.comlie/download!) or Netscape's (http://www.netscape.com/ downloadlindex.html) web sites. The U-M Connectivity Kit comes with Netscape Navigator 2, but you will want something newer than that to view web pages. If there is a problem with anything in this article, please let me know. I will fix all errors and post them to the Review's web site at http:! /www.umich.edu/-exclusives/ connection_errors.htm. Ml.

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Hyperterminal or an equivalent program can be found pretty much every computer running a Microsoft operating system. It is most likely found in the Start menu under AccesTHE ESSENTIAL SOFTWARE sories/Hyperterminal. If Hyperterminal or its equivalent is After you have opened an internet not already installed on your comconnection with the U-M Connectivputer, you can install it by opening ity Kit or some other ISP, the easiest C.J. Carnacchio: the Control Panel, choosing AddlReway to check email is to create a Pm Heading for Mexico move Programs. Click on the tab shortcut to a program called "telnet." called Windows95 or NT Setup, highRight click on the desktop and choose ·r~ Heading for Mexi~· ,and other essa~. light Communications and press the New/Shortcut. When it asks for the WItn~88 ~.J .. Carnacchi?s tr~formation . . . . .. from Idealistic conservative to Irate conserBen, Campus AffaIrs Editor and techDetails button. Put a check m the box Command Prompt, type telnet vative activist in this heart-warming collecnology czar of the Review, is sick of by Hyperterroinal, press the OK but199in.itd.umich.edu" and hit Next. tion of essays. Also includes, "To Hell With screwing around with Host Presenter ton and follow the directions which':' Name the shortcut something like the Grandkids, Anyway; -Ifl Wanted Marand Netscape Navigator, and has will pop up. Once Hyperterroinal is "lTD Login" and press finish. You ~~e, I Woul~ Have Asked For It," an~ . to, B 'UGa' . alle, d continue . CIgars: Smoke emlfYouGot'Em,WeDont erected a sma II s hnne tes m mst to t h e next parash 0 uld now be a ble to d ouble-click on Have Much Time Left!" 466 pp., 12 pp. phohis "t:room. ' graph. the new icon and connect to the familtoe,.. $8.95 paperback i __ ______ .... ..., .. __ ... _ • __ ______. _.. _ ._. __ .__ ____________ .. __________ .... _ .___ -. _______. ___ ' _ ' ___ ._ .._____ ,__ _ . _. ________ '""_'_"0<_ .._ _ _.. ___ ...... _____ ... ... _. - _ ........ _ ._ - - - _ .- "__ .,,J

THE MICHIGAN REvIEW

April 22, 1998

o Hoops Du JOUR

A Wildcat Wins Title Again BY

ANDREW GoLDING

AN ANTONIO - THREE weeks ofexhilarating athletic competition ended here on March 31 as the Kentucky Wildcats defeated the Utah Utes to win their second men's college basketball championship in the last three years. For Kentucky first-year head man Tubby Smith, the victory was a crowning ofsorts, an acknowledgement that he was indeed a suitable replacement for Rick Pitino, current coach of the NBA's Boston Celtics. For Utah's media darling and coach, Rick Majerus, the entire tourney - particularly victories over Arizona and North Carolina - proved him to be a deft strategist and tactician, a master at developing game plans to aid his less athletic team in battle. For sportswriters, the Kentucky win may have been a disappointment. A Utah victory would have incited memories of David versus Goliath, cries of "Cinderella," endless weeks of talk show appearances on Leno down to Tim Robbins' infomercials.

Majerus would have become a brand name, pitching sweatpants,junk food, and hotel living. Presently, he is just pitching himself, declining the vacant Arizona State and Texas head coaching positions, but keeping his hotel 'line open to other possible suitors. Before the contest even began, it looked as though fate was on Utah's side. Kentucky looked scared, out of whack - or at least their coach did. Smith forgot to engage in the customary pre-game handshake, forcing Majerus to invade the Wildcat huddle before Smith realized his oversight. Such an incident could have easily been the lead paragraph in the next day's coverage of the contest, a glaring example of how Smith was intimidated and nervous in what was his first Final Four appearance as a head coach. Yet, it was Majerus' team which actually was intimidated, squandering a ten point halftime lead to lose by nine to a deeper Kentucky squad. The matchup may have been David versus Goliath, but in actuality, that meeting had more star power,

defmitely more pizzaz. This championship contest was devoid of stars and any great players, instead featuring above-average college players who will have limited success in the professional ranks. Andre Miller, Michael Doleac, Jeff Sheppard, and Nazr Mohammed: NBA backups at best. What we saw at the Final Four was basketball in pure form, without the hot-dogging and ridiculous antic we see on SportsCenter , without the isolation and one-on-one play the NBA is. We saw multiple passes, hard screens, intense defense, clutch shots, heartbreaking misses, and the crowning of one National Champion from field of 64. It was not, as CBS and Marc Anthony proclaimed afterwards, "One Shining Moment," but a multitude of shining moments. The 1998 NCAA Tournament will not be rightfully labeled as the greatest, or one ofthe best, because it was not. It had some buzzer beaters, some great upsets, but there have been many more in past years. There were some great players, but the best - an Iverson, a Marbury, a Walker, a •..

Garnett - could and should be playing in college at this time. March Madness was exciting; for three weeks we watched as dreams were made, and others shattered. m

- IT Is DRAFT TIME: The upcoming NBA Draft is one of the weaker in recent memory, with no franchise players such as 1997's Tim Dunca.o and Kei th Van Horn . Kansas ' Raef LaFrentz and Pa u1 Perce will likely be among the first five selected, along with Arizona's sophomore point guard Mike Bibby. Saint Louis' 6'5", 180pound freshman guard Larry Hughes is an unquestionably talented player, but a bit slim, as is 6'10", 212-pound high schooler Rashard Lewis . Michigan's Robert Traylor is rated as the lIth best player by ESPN's Chris Monter, who writes that "Maybe an training camp will get 1?im into ." U- M's Jerod Ward is rated 57th, and Maceo Baston 65th . • QUICK NOTE: New "Hoops Du Jour" columns will be posted on the view web site (www.umich.edul -mrev) this summer. m

Missed joining the Review this year? Join us next year. We're looking for business staff ... staff writers ... future editors ... arts writers ... campus affairs writers ... or anyone else who wants to be a part of a dynamic, involved student group devoted to keeping students informed of campus goings-on.

No experience is necessary! Interested? Give us an e-mail at: mreV@Umich.edu, or call us at 64·7 -8438. ' -

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A Pe.rfect World with subdued suspicion. Nina finds everything in George that is lacking in Vince: sincerity, honesty, trust and unquestioning friendship. They become the best of friends and do everything together, including taking dancing lessons. When she learns that she is pregnant, Nina decides that she wants to raise the child with George, not Vince (the father); George, realizing that he has the chance now to be the father he never thought he could be, agrees and the two of them begin a dream of creating their own new world where they make the rules. But the outside world starts throwing reality Nina's way. She is in love with George and can't bear sharing him. When he falls in love with a young man, she finds herself surrounded by homosexual men who, as a wise theater critic points out to her, can leave her at any moment for other men. Nina and George have built a world where Nina could be left completely alone, or George could be completely unhappy. The movie could have danced around the relationship and ignored the fact that relationships between

BY KRISTINA CURKOVIC

INA AND GEORGE BElieve they can build a perfect world together, raising Nina's child and living in the blissful friendship that has been the backbone of their relationship. But a couple offactors might catch

The Object of My Affection Directed by Nicholas Hynter. Featuring Jennifer Anniston and Paul Rudd.

up with them and ruin things: George is gay, and Nina can't help falling in love with him. In The Object of My Affection, George's (Paul Rudd) lover leaves him and he moves into his new friend Nina's (Jennifer Aniston) apartment while her boyfriend Vince looks on Kristina Curkovic is a senior majoringin English and Linguistics, and is Arts Editor of the Review. She eats Ramen Noodles and Spam in order to be able to afford to go to the movie theater these days.

heterosexuals get complicated. But Object approaches the subject with absolute maturity and realism. When George falls in love with Paul, Nina is devastated and their relationship is in question; Nina's sister Constance represents the outside world as a woman who accepts alternative lifestyles as long as they are outside of her own family; Vince's anger toward Nina and her decision about their child provides the edge the audience needs to show that Nina and George's world cannot be the perfect one they imagine. Aniston, as Nina, is as cute as ever, and almost believable as a lowincome social worker. She has made a sure niche for herselfin the big-screen world that she may not have quite done with her previous starring role in Picture Perfect by playing a character with not only her usual comedic talents, but also a range of necessary reactions and emotions. The true star of Object, however, is Paul Rudd as George. Movie audiences kept their eyes open for him after his first major role in Clueless as Cher's ex-halfbrother. In Object, he steals h~.~

again as his character falls in love different kinds of love - with Nina and Paul, and as his heart is broken and mended throughout the film. Rudd tackles his complex role perfectly with a sensitivity that makes his character's varied emotions completely believable. The movie as a whole contains the same sensitivity, creating a love story between people which, while idealistic, delves into real emotions - emotions that often are uncontrollable and unchangable. The actors, directing, and screenplay convince us that we can't choose with whom we fall in love, and that the old rules don't apply anymore in either love or society. The movie's creators should be applauded for their work, and presenting a movie that is not only an "alternative" love story, but a very good one as well.Ml

Read Review Arts. We usually know what we're talking about.

Wild Things: Wildly Unreal BY

MATJ'HEW BucKLEY

T SEEMS THAT FLORIDAspecifically, the fictional city of Blue Bay in Wild Things - has a far superior public school system than my home state of Iowa (specifically, Des Moines). They have auditoriums with comfy padded chairs, where police officers come to hold discussions of sex crimes and how to prevent them. They have sailing teams with a fleet of sparkling school-owned sailboats. They have a wealthy elite that generously sprinkles the school with money. In Des Moines, and for most of the real world ... you get the picture. Most importantly, everyone is attractive in Blue Bay. Start with Kelly Van Ryan (Denise Richards), who is the spoiled-brat daughter of Blue Bay's richest divorced couple. Wet, dry, or on the floor, her clothes are top dollar fashion. Wet, dry, or on the floor, she isn't half-bad herself. She hangs out with the rich set who, of course, are all appropriately attractive and well-dressed. Rich young women looking good, I concede, is not exclusive to Blue Bay ... Des Moines has a few of them as well. But how many school disctricts have attractive guidance counselors,

like Sam Lombardo (Matt Dillon)? How many have sex crimes police patrols led by Detective Ray Duquette (Kevin Bacon)? I don't know about you, but our Des Moines girls from the wrong side of the tracks may be able to fix cars, but they definitely look like they are from the wrong side of the tracks. In Suzie Toller, you get all the mechanic's skills in the body of Neve Campbell. The people of Blue Bay, you understand, live in a far more attractive place than you or I. Yet not all is sunny in Blue Bay. The aforementioned Lombardo makes the mistake of getting left alone with Kelly. Running from his house, Kelly eventually cries rape. As you might suspect, this is anathema to guidance counselors. It gets worse when Suzie corroborates Kelly's story with a sordid Lombardo rape tale of her own. This might sound like the premise of an entirely promising movie, but in fact this covers about the first twentyfive minutes. When Lombardo hires attorney Ken Bowden (Bill Murray) to defend him, after a devastating cross-examination, Lombardo receives eight million dollars. Now we have eight million dollars, plenty of attractive people with manipulative minds, and an hour-and-a-half to go. The relatively familiar premise

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question is, then, who will screw whom? With Denise Richards and Neve Campbell on the scene, the question has duel meanings. It is the nature of this kind of movie that you can't reveal too much, so I won't. Suffice it to say it is supremely unrealistic, with what seem to be gaping plot holes covered up with a line or two later in the movie. Essentially, you better not use the bathroom. Screenwriters Ken Nunn and Stephen Peters have put together a convoluted, engaging screenplay which won't win any Oscars but sustains audience interest. Director John McNaughton does a neat trick at the end by slipping in additional movie scenes into the ending credits. The idea, I guess, is that if you had seen these clips during the actual movie, then everything would have become clear. I think there has to be a limit to this, since Wild Things is the sort of movie where anything you see instantly gets questioned. I suspect that if we actually saw the clips from the credits in the movie itself, it wouldn't really explain much at all. Nunn and Peters could certainly have taken any of those extra scenes, slipped them into the movie, and worked around them. McNaughton actually does a

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pretty effective job throughout the whole movie. This sort of "twisteroo" movie, where everyone is suspect and the resolution isn't worked out until the absolute final minute, can rapidly become a farce if the director and actors aren't careful. For the most part, McNaughton handles this pretty well. He relies tOo much on random shots ofgators and swamps to remind "us we are in Florida, a ploy which grates on the nerves after a while ... does he really think that shots of gators rising from the swamps are necessary to establish mood in this film? The actors also do a decent job; almost all the major players have to play good and/or bad at the drop of a dime. In the "kid nympho" role, Richards does a nice job. It's probably high time for Campbell to take some serious movie roles - she handles these flashy thriller roles well and could probably raise her act a notch or two. Dillon and Bacon are both solid. This movie is not going to win any Academy awards, or even nominations, or even ballpark consideration for nominations. However, it is a playful, engaging little flick worthy of $7.50 and a couple of hours. Ml

Wri te the Revi ew!

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U-M Prof. Tanter Studies "Rogue Regimes" BY MAl"1'HEW

W. FOGARTY

s PRESIDENT GEORGE Bush presided over the fall of the Berlin Wall- and with it the era of the East-West Cold Warthe United States and its allies found themselves at a los8 with regard to international affairs. For the first time in more than a halfcentury, there was no singular enemy and no specific '"clear and present danger" threaten~ ing U.S. interests. In August of 1990, however, Saddam Hussein stepped into the spotlight. Hussein ushered his troops into Kuwait, "reclaiming" the nation as their own. The rest of the Iraq-Kuwait story is well known. The military strength of the Iraqi government was not so much the trig~ ger offear among the allies as was the personality of the man now known simply as "Saddam." In his new book, "Rogue Regimes," (St. Martin's Press, $29.95) University Professor Raymond Tanter explores the nature of Saddam's government among his examinations into the post-Cold War threats facing the U.S. and its allies. In seven detailed chapters of ~

litical and geographical history that are spiced with witty anecdotes, Tanter identifies, analyzes, and then vilifies the six members ofhis "rogues' gallery" - Iraq, Iran, Libya, Syria, Cuba, and North Korea. All six of these nations, he writes, have repeatedly made their way into the State Department's annual report "Patterns of Global Terrorism." Additionally, each member has a remarkable record of permitting the trading ofnarcotics. However, the book is not so much a history lesson, but a lexicon of the looming threats to the national secu~ rity of the U.S. and its allies. To illustrate that threat, Tanter ingeniously interweaves historical information and political science theory. For example, he employs theories of deterrence and coercion to explain American policy toward North Korea. In this case, deterrence theory would suggest that to avoid a military conflictwithNorthKorea, the U.S. should pursue a policy of coercion by show of force. Another focus of the book is the relation of the leaders of these nations to the threats their countries

present. Tanter explores the nature tunities, diplomatic or otherwise, that of each leader under the rubric of might arise out of crisis situations in related areas. Third, Tanter outlines "personality, politics, and policies." In discussing Iraq, he digs into the the politics that sUITound and restrict these rogue leaders. It would be very character of Saddam Hussein, whom he sees as being much like the main difficult, for instance, for Hafez Alcharacter in his favorite movie, The Assad and his Syrian government to Godfather. Tanterrecountsoneaneccooperate with U.S. peace efforts in the Arab-Israel conflict simply due to dote about Saddam's vile temper and the political ramifications within his the unfortunate luck of his in-laws. constituency and the balance of the AfterSaddam married his second wife, one member of the bride's family sug~ Arab world. Finally, Tanter investi~ gested to his own wife that he did not gates the policies that drive the leaders of the rogue regimes, and the consider Saddam a legitimate member of the family, unaware that resulting implications for the U.S. foreign policy. Saddam had taken the liberty ofbug~ ging their room. The husband and Tantercombinesthesemyriadfac~ wife were accordingly rushed through tors in analyzing the threats that the U.S. must consider in setting its forthe Iraqi justice system to a life sen~ eign policy agenda. Rogue Regimes tence in jail. In determining exactly how large provides a fascinating, in-depth aca threat each of the rogue regimes count of the Cold War, as well as a lesson on the severity of relations poses to the security of the globe, Tanter works through four themes. with rogue regimes. As he exclaims in First, he identifies the role of threat one of his political science lectures, "The United States must understand perception in relations with these that the threats of the twenty-first rogues. He suggests that the U.S. must take caution in exactly how it century involve rogue state leaders who are more dangerous than any interprets the actions of these nations. Second, he points to the oppor.- -~-60Id War conflict!" Mt

Fry's History Needs a Deeper Look BY KrusTINA CURKOVIC

N HIS TWO PREVIOUS books, aut.hor/actor Stephen Fry delved into frivolous and hilarious topics ranging from British boarding schools in The Liar to pseudo-miracles in The Hippopotomos, the latter being the

Making History by Stephen Fry Random House, $20.00 better of the two and still better than Fry's latest novel, Making History. The three books together show us that Fry finds a better-fitting niche in frivoloty than he does in any serious undertaking in studying history's worst moments. In Making History, those worst moments concern World War II, and the man who seemingly started it all - Adolf Hitler, the topic of narrator Michael Young's intense study. He is a doctoral student at Cambridge, and has just finished what he calls his "Meisterwerk," a thesis on those early years of Hitler's life that led to the dictator's intense nationalism and hatred of Jews. Michael soon meets -'. - - ,- ...... ....... - ..... .... ,..... ~-

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an elderly professor of physics, Leo Zuckerman, who becomes very interested in Michael's work. They agree to discuss it later. In the meantime, Michael makes up with his estranged girlfriend, a scientist working on a male sterilization pill, an experiment that becomes important later on. Meeting with Zuckerman, Michael learns of the man's obsession with the Holocaust and Hitler. Michael assumes the obsession comes from Zuckerman's Jewish roots and experiences, but in one of the book's best moments we learn that Zuckerman's fixation comes not from anger, but guilt. His real name is Axel Bauer and his father was not a Holocaust victim, but a Nazi doctor at Auschwitz. Michael, moved by Leo's passion and guilt, suggests that they use the physiGist's amazingly convenient time machine (that's right, a time machine) and Michael's vast knowledge of Hitler's family background to make sure that AdolfHitler was never born, convinced that Hitler was the catalyst of all the terrible things that happened in Europe during the first half of the century. Having accom~ plished their mission through the usual let's-use-the-time-machinefor-good storyline, the book abruptly

changes course as history itself changes. And this is where Fry encounters some problems. While he extensively looks into the roots of the Nazi party and German nationalism after the first world war, Fry's analysis of the present-day situation is limited. We do learn that things aren't a lot better around the world; in fact, they are a lot worse for many minority groups, even in the U.S. and especially in Europe. But the change in social atmosphere is barely touched upon and only hinted at. Michael studies the history of the past 50 years and discovers that the Nazi party is alive and kicking, controlling all of Europe and at constant odds with the U.S. Even worse, Michael's clever attempt to change history has critically back~ fired, and caused a tragedy as great as the Holocaust itself. But Fry's alternative world leaves the reader wanting. Why is it that the U.S., while such an enemy of German Europe, should be as racist and discriminatory? How is it that Michael is Jewish in the alternative world and not in the real world? And how is it that Michael is more comfortabledis~ covering his sexuality in the respressed alternative world? Many things go unexplained, including what

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it is that makes Michael so interested in Hitler and the Holocaust. Fry's cursory glance at an alternative, repressive world needs deeper analysis to capture his readers. On the other hand, Fry does go into deliciously crucial information about Hitler's family and army back~ ground. Fry proved his ability to make O'Henry-type connections in The HippopotOmos, and he takes advantage of that ability in this book to give it some valid and substantial moments to show that the the tremendous tragedies of WWII were not enacted by one man's whim and zeal alone. Fry tells his tale through a vari~ ety of mediums, jumping back and forth from the present to the past, using screenplay format and including many extensive pseudo--histori~ cal texts to bring the book's alterna~ tive world almost to life, providing the reader with a variety of emotional levels. But taking a humorous author like Stephen Fry and mixing it with dead serious topics like Hitler and the Holocaust creates a book that can't seem to make up its mind ab,out how it feels about the subject matter. These are questions that hav'e to, be answered with more deliberation and insight not only into history, but humanity as well. Mt .

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.0 Music

Sarah McLaehlan: Breathtaking

BY ROBERT WOOD

HERE IS A STAR RISING from the North, specifically, from Halifax, Nova Scotia, and it has already begun to spread light upon the previously-decaying landscape of popular music. She has been on the rise since her discovery in 1985 and the release of her first heavenly creation, Touch, in 1988. Sarah McLachlan, while generally considered a spokesperson for women's music, has really revitalized the entire pop music scene with her intimate, thought-provoking lyrics and sensual, angelic voice. While Touch remained a bit of an underground hit, her next release, Solace, brought her into the mainstream scene. Her music really started turning heads in the U.S. with 1994's Fumbling Toward Ecstacy. When Surfacing was released last year, her influence in the music world could not be denied. She was at the top. For those ofher more recent fans, and for those who have yet to hear anything more than is played on the radio: the more you hear, the more you will become amazed at the unbelievable talent this woman possesses. Those of you "Fumblers" (equivalent to Metallica's "Metallifans" or the Grateful Dead's "Deadheads") who know her work and life, you agree that she has the kind of lyrical and vocal gifts that do not come along more than once or twice in a generation. The reason her work and life were even mentioned in the same sentence is also the reason her music is so enrapturing: they are inseparably intertwined. Her song, "Possession," from Fumbling, is a perfect, if somewhat disturbing, example. For three years she was stalked by a computer programmer from Ottawa. Eventually she was forced to get a restraining order against him, after which she wrote "Possession." This was not the end of the story, however. The stalker filed a lawsuit against McLachlan regarding the song, claiming "breach of confidence." The suit was dismissed, and the man subsequently committed suicide in December, 1994. In an interview in Rolling Stone three years later, Ms. McLachlan adds, "And this one person wasn't the only guy ... there were a lot ofletters from other people saying the same kind of thing ... Writing the song 路Possession' was very therapeutic." The hauntingly beautiful "Hold On" was inspired by a documentary about a woman whose fiance had been diagnosed HIV positive. This w9man

watched and cared for her husband (they married) as his body deteriorated, and mourned his eventual passing. The compassion McLachlan felt for this woman, and all those touched by the plague of AIDS, is starkly evident in this song. Each ofMcLachlan's songs seems to be another window through which one cannot help but get a personal glance into the singer's soul. Sarah McLachlan was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia, in 1968. She is the adopted youngest child ofexpatriate Americans Jack and Dorice McLachlan. According to an October 29 J 1997 article in People, her parents convinced her to enroll in the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design in 1986, where she was interested in jewelry design. That same year, an acquaintance pointed out that McLachlan looked a lot like her friend Judy Kaines. Sarah got a sho~k when she and Kaines found out that Kaines was actually Sarah's biological mother; now, the two women see each other at Christmas and throughout the year. A recent conversation with Review Music Editor Chris Hayes brought up an idea that everyone who has ever wanted to meet her seems to have; they just want to give her a hug. That's all my girlfriend wants. That's all the guy who ran up on stage during her April 7 concert at the MSU Auditorium wanted. He got one, too, just before a body guard leapt on him and dragged him off stage. The only person who usually gets to do the hugging is her drummer and husband, Ashwin Sood. The two tied the knot in Jamaica in February of 1997. Sood recalls in a July 28, 1997 article from Maclean's, "Half an hour before we got married, we were naked in the ocean. And half an hour later, we were naked and back in the ocean. It couldn't have been better." After her current tour winds down, don't bet on a new album right away. McLachlan stated in a 1997 MuchMusic special that she and her husband are "going to try and have a baby. I'm almost 30, you know, the clock's ticking big time." When McLachlan created and headlined the Lilith Fair Tour, which covered 35 dates last summer and is slated for a second round of dates this summer, she was relieved to have finally had the clout within the music industry to make a positive stride for women. In the December 1997 Rolling Stone interviewJ she recalled some of the skepticism she encountered when trying to organize her 1993 tour with Paula Cole. "I got a lot of flaJt

from promoters who said, 'You don't want to put two women on the same bill.' And I thought, 'Oh, that's ridiculous.'" Because McLachlan's name was getting bigger, and she was commanding more money per show than ever, she could also command a bit more respect from her promoters. "... I had the power and control where I was able to say, 'I'm going to play with whoever I want to.''' When Lilith Fair eclipsed Lollapalooza, H.O.R.D.E., and R.O.A.R. this past summer, the glass ceiling appeared to be cracking a bit. Sarah McLachlan was the only constant headliner ofthe tour, which also featured Tracy Chapman, Jewel, Suzanne Vega, and Paula Cole. It was clear from the beginning of Lilith that this wasn't going to be a man-bashing festival. McLachlan was even glad to see a few men in the audience, as she stated in a September 1997 Rolling Stones piece. While most summer rock tours accepted sponsorship from alcohol and tobacco companies, along with automakers and soft drink C?rperations,LilithFairtookadifferentroute. According to the June 9, 1997 issue of The Wall Street Journal, Lilith Fair's sponsors were carefully picked by McLachlan because oftheir charitable donations to women's causes and to represent categories such as "learning" and "wellness." Ann Arbor's own Borders Bookstore chain was chosen to sponsor the learning category, and Nine West was chosen for wellness because of its monetary donations to breast cancer organizations. "Socially conscious businesses [were] what we wanted. No child labor, no animal testing, but community oriented." According to the Journal, Tommy Hilfiger was apparently interested in sponsoring the tour, but Lilith declined. The tour organizers wanted several symbolic backers, instead of a "Tommy Tour." Looking at this policy from a strictly financial point of view, one wonders exactly who Ms. McLachlan thinks she is. Yet, when pop culture and her fan base are considered, she knows exactly who she is: she is the one on top. Regarding the April 7 concert mentioned earlier, a review of it was published in the Michigan Daily the following Friday. The reviewer suggested that McLachlan had "sold out" and perhaps wasn't as powerful a performer as she used to be, but had settled for "mesmerizing" the audience. The previous paragraphs should indicate~ that McLachlan is anything

but a sell-out. To throw such accusatory language around is bad form, and to accuse someone of compromising their artistic integrity, especially someone as talented and soulful as Sarah McLachlan, is completely without class and unfairly judgemental. She has finally hit it big in the U.S. after ten years in the business. She has put in the hours and hard work to do it all just right. I was at the concert myself. The reason people were a little sedate during some ofher slower ballads was that the MSU Auditorium was poorly ventilated, and had a room temperature of about 85 degrees. Ms. McLachlan is also a folk and soft rock singer, which means that her songs are going to be a bit slower than say, Bush, Hole, or some other alternative excuse for music. Sarah McLachlan performed almost all the songs on .both her most recent albums, and about half of Solace. She played a two-hour set without missing a note, and came back for two encores. She did all this knowing she had another show in Toledo the next night. She gave everything her impressive set of pipes should have given, and then some. A few thousand other people at the show had an unbelievable time, and this reporter will not soon forget the experience. Sarah McLachlan's star has risen, and the pop music scene is finally revolving around its most deserving sun in some time. l\R

Write for the Review's Music Pages! give you the oportunity to do reviews f new music, concerts, nd other events. Our wesome Music Editor hris Hayes will hook ou up wi th music, tickts, and an inside look t the music industry. e're always looking for ew talent. If you're interested in writing for our summer on-line issue, or for our paper in the fall, give us a all at 647-8438 or email rev@umich.edu.

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MICHIGAN REVIEW LIVING CULTURE

April 22, 1998

I Music

San BY MICHAEL AUSTIN

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HETHER OR NOT YOU know what it is, chances are you have heard surf music. Whether in Dick Dale's "Miserlou" of Pulp Fiction fame or the endless car and beer ads on television, suffice to say that you11 know it when you hear it. Surf music first spread throughout the country in the early 1960s, until the arrival ofThe Beatles stopped the phenomenon almost as quickly as it had started. Contrary to popular belief, many people do not consider groups such as The Beach Boys surf music. Truesurfisinstrumental, with the guitar serving as the lead singer. Another misconception is the connection with surfmusic and surfing. While the two sometimes crossed paths, it is more of a label that regards the feeling ofthe music, rather than a statement about the people who play it. Today surfmusic has found somewhat of a revival, brought 'about in part by radio show such as Phil Dirt's "Surfs Up! In San Francisco." Local bands such as The Prodigals, The Volcanoes, and Professor Schmiddy and The Eiements serve as prime examples of the new surf movement. While still based on the surf sound created 30 years ago, today's surf music has come a long way since then. Part ofthe reaSon for surfs new found success is the courage ofbands to add new elements to the music. At the front of the new surfmovement are San Francisco's The Mermen. Phil Dirt's opinion that "if any band has left the envelope, it is them. Their material reeks of surf, and it shouts tomorrow," perfectly sums up what makes The Mermen stand out. While their music is increasingly psychedelic, they are also firmly rootOO in surf. The Reviezp had the opportunity to speak with the bass player of The Mermen, Allen Whitman, about what goes into his music and where it all is going. The Mermen first formed ten years ago when guitarist Jim Thomas met Allen Whitman working in a record store. After finding drummer Martyn Jones and recording an album, the three went their separate ways. Soon after, however, Allen found himself without a band, and asked to join The Mermen full time. They have been together ever since. While both Jones and Whitman were seasoned players before joining, Jim Thomas had never been in a !>and prior to The Mermen. "I guess that lends a certain purity·'to his music. •

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with the next record. The Mermen· s A FAN OF THE GENRE appear to be a very recognizable, and for 35 years, and a producer therefore marketable, band. "Jim's for 10, Phil Dirt knows surf guitar rig is huge; it's like some scimusic. We had the chance to ask his ence fiction movie from the '50s. You opinions on the music and the indusknow, all these big boxes with blinktry. Additional information and his ing lights and hundreds of cables connecting them radio show are on the wei? at www.spies.com/reverb/central.btml. all over the place. Then MR: What has changed with surf 'he took two music in the last 10 years that has Fender Stratocasters, made a difference? sawed them Phil: What's happening now is only in half, and happening because it stopped being a had them revivalist kind of a thing, and the glued and genre came back to life. People are fixed tobringing other elements into it and gether by a it's growing. When the revival started local guitar in '79, it was fundamentally a nostaltech. So now gia thing. That's not the case any:' he's playing double more, and that's why it's P9Pular. ne'c ks, and MR: Any thoughts about the claim how many guitar playthat bands must commercialize themAllen Whitman of The Mennen . ers do you selves in order to gain widespread and 1997). This notoriety clearly esknow that play double neck Fender I Tf~()~lla.rity? tablishes them as an outstanding Strats? Nobody. So, there's a visual Phil: The argument about art versus band, regardless of genre. Neverthesignature to go along with the &.umo business is sort of specious. The first signature of the Mermen sound." less, they have yet to achieve popular time you charge someone to see you Still, the Mermen have never comsuccess, partly due to the absence of a play, you've crossed that bridge. All lead singer. "We've had people say to . promised their musicianship in order you're talking about is a matter of to gain popUlarity. "We don't think us 'We've got a suggestion for you how degree. A lot of people who make it you can make it big. Get an 18 y~ar old too much about what image we're aren't very good and a lot of people trying to portray, we're just trying to girl with a pierced belly button and who don't are, but that's just life. make the music whatever sounds best you'll rock.' And we're like, well, it's just not going to be that way. to us." MIt: Where do you think the industry Apart from the band, all three "For us it's always been a very is moving to in the next 10 years? slow progression. And I think now I'm members keep themselves busy elsewhere. Jim Thomas surfs full time, resigned in a positive way that it's Phil: I think the variety is going to while Martyn Jones works as a gate always going to be that way. As long continue to scatter, it's not going to agent at the San Francisco airport. as we keep playing together, it's just coalesce. Also the internet, and direct Allen Whitman is a full time writer, going to be a gradual rise. We really CD quality music available will just appreciate people that like the music with a column in EQMagazine, and make that worse, or better depending because that's the reason we still play has written various freelance articles on your point of view. Eventually it's it. Even though we love the music, the for Wired. As for the band, "It's defigoing to eliminate the need for labels. fact that we get feedback from people nitely a big part of all our lives, but it's Once that's happened, there's no force listening to it in all different shapes not the only thing." and forms is very positive." A few days after the interview, I trying to control the marketplace, so end of focus basically. asked Allen what he would do if his That gradual rise is set to continue in the coming months, as The heart was not in the music anymore. MR: So will independent labels gain Mermen are poised to gain a greater His reply was simple and direct. "If influence over the large labels? audience. They make an appearance my heart were no longer in it, ofcourse on the Sony Playstation game "Road I would stop. But my heart will ever Rash 2" and the accompanying combe musical. Regardless of what my Phil: It's as large as it's ever been right now, and I don't expect that to life is like, I will always sing and I will pilation CD. Both are set to release in continue. The small labels provide a April and will feature Sugar Ray always pick up a guitar or play a certain kind of capital in terms of piano if we happen to be in the same along with two other bands. A sixth producing and distributing goods for room together." studio album is also in the works, In a time when we are constantly bands that have a difficult time doing scheduled to finish up in the fall of 1998. You can also see them in the bombarded by one-hit wonders and it for themselves now. If you can do it background as the house band of Comstudio-created groups, The Mermen yourself, you can sell your product for less, which means more people are edy Central's "Comics Come Home" stand out as something special. going to buy it, and guess what, you which is now airing. Whether or not they ever gain nationget all the money. I think if interest wide recognition, The Mermen have The strong fan base has apparactually wanes, large labels and selfently caught the attention ofthe manleft their mark on the music world as published music on the internetWm one of the most innovative bands ever agement at Atlantic Records, who are be about all there is. l\R _ to exist.)R interested in a heavy promotion to go

It's-almost like all of us are soloing all the time, and for some reason it just seems to gel," Whitman said. The Mermen have received criti- . cal praise, as well as awards for Outstanding Independent Record (twice) and Best Bay Area Club Band (1996

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