vol_16_no_6 by Michigan Review

U-M Kicks Off Environmental Semester BY LEE BOCKHORN

AST WEEK, THE UNIVER-' sity ushered in the Winter term theme semester on the environ:nent with a "Kickoff' ceremony held in the Kuenzel Room ofthe Michigan Union , The sounds of the Treetown Singers drum circle greeted the hundreds of students and faculty in a ttendance as they squeezed themselves iato the room for a multimedia presentation and a keynote address by Mic:lelle Jordan, the deputy regional administrator of Region 5 for the En vil'onmental Protection Agency (EPA), and a U of M Law School alumna, The event began with remarks by School of Natural Resources and Environment (SNRE) student Mona Hanna, the chair of the student planning committee for the semester and also the chair of the Michigan Student Assembly's (MSA) Environmental [ssues Commission. Hanna told those iu attendance that the theme semester "has the potential to change the lives of each and every one of us," and also pointed out that this term's theme semester was unique because students had been involved for the first time in planbing activities and events [or the semester. Hanna's remarks were followed by a short, "inspirational" multimedia presentation which consisted of images of natural beauty and various factoids about ecological damage and poll ution set to music. Then, Provost Nancy Cantor took the podium to introduce the keynote speaker. Students listened intently as Cantor stated that it was "our responsibility to begin caring for the cohtinuity of nature." She also said that this particular theme semester was important because of its role in "integrat{ing] the separate parts of the university individual colleges, administrators, faculty, and students."

I INSIDE! • Editor-in-Chief Benjamin Kepple presents another installment of his "Worst of Winter" for 1998. Check to see if your course has been denounced. See page 5. • Computer Consultant Ben Rousch explores the ins and outs of ITO's "New Deal." Seepage 7.

EPA's drinking water standards prevent 470,000 cases of gastro-intestinal illness annually. She declared that chloroflugrocarbon (CFC) production has "gone down ~:. . ~ dramatically ," and that the Great Lakes "are a major environmental success story." For all of this success, however, Jordan told the audience that much work remains to be done. Citing an array of statistics in areas like asthma cases among children, The Big Green Frog (Bug?) dances in front of the Union. she said that glothe environment." She spoke about bal climate change was a signific~ ... the daily responsibilities of her position at the EPA, where she is in charge of her region's air, water, hazardous waste, and other pollution control programs. Proclaiming that the United States has created "the world's most advanced environmental protection program," she recounted the BY C. J. CARNAccmo government's efforts to protect the environment over the last three deN AN EFFORT TO ALLEVIcades, from the creation of the EPA in ate the overcrowding in tradi1970 and the passage oflaws such as tional residence halls and quell the Clean Air Act and Clean Water campus concern, University Housing Act in the early Seventies, to laws made the controversial decision to regulating everything from asbestos deny juniors and seniors the option of to nuclear waste passed in-the Eightliving in these halls. In September ies. Stating that Congress had passed 1997, roughly 1,000 in-coming freshforty environmental laws since 1970, men were forced to either live in conJordan credited these laws and the verted triples (three students living EPA's enforcement with great imin a room meant for two) or seek provements in the condition of our temporary housing in residence hall nation's environment. For instance, lounges. This incident generated comshe claimed that the air in our cities plaints from angry students and parwas cleaner, and that the Clean Air ents, and prompted University HousAct has "worked for America without ing to seek a resolution to prevent holding back our economy." Jordan future overcrowding. cited studies which claim that the The Michigan Daily first reported

Cantor was followed by Jordan, the featured speaker. Jordan began by commending the U ofM for "being an early and long term supporter of

problem, and that although there was still what she described as "scientific uncertainty" regarding global warming, it is imperative that we take action now. She cited the recent Kyoto treaty on global climate change as a "historic step" towards reducing global warming in an "environmentally and economically sound way." In closing, Jordan challenged the audience to "use your time, talent, and energy to preserve and protect the environment." Upon leaving the kickoff, students had the chance to pick up free environmentalsemester t-shirts, information on theme semester activities, events, and classes, and to cavort with the theme semester mascot, the "Giant Green Bug" (or "Giant Green ' Frog," depending on whom you asked). See ENVIRONMENT, Page 3

New Housing Policies Generate Controversy

Housing's decision in their November 19,1997 issue, but the University did not provide any detailed information about the move until December 8th, when a fact sheet and letter were distributed to students .residing in the dorms. Beginning in September 1998, any juniors and semors who wish to live in the dorms will be limited to four options: Baits, Cambridge, Fletcher, and Oxford Housing. These halls are considered non-traditional since they do not provide meal service. The only upperclassmen who will be the exceptions to this policy are those who are Residence Hall Association executive officers, house and minority council officers, selected See HOUSING ANGER, Page 9

• Managing Editor C.J. Carnacchio presents another set of inflamatory tirades. This time he takes on the health-Nam in California and union thugs everywhere. See page 8.

• Managing Editor Lee Bockhorn takes a look at a Unabomber survivor's tale of sorrow and triumph and his message for American society. See page 13.

• Music Editor Chris Hayes eXamines the best and worst the music industry had to offer in 1997. Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy ride! See page 14.

• Sports Editor Rob Wood defends the Wolverine's honor against whining Cornhuskers and Volunteers. See page 10.

• Arts Editor Kristina Curkovic reaches the inner child in us all with her review of a new collection of fairy tales. See page 13.

• Contributing Editor Matthew Buckley reviews Fallen and wonderswhy it can't get up. See page 15.

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January 21, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

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o SERPENT'S TOOTH.-

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan "It happened to the Cornell paper again?r

EI2IIOBIAL aOABI2 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: ASSOCIATE PUBUSHER: MANAGING EDITOR: MANAGING EDITOR: ARTS EDITOR:

How Was YOUR Three Day Weekend?

Benjamin Kepple Sang Lee Lee Bockhorn C. J. Camacchio Kristina Curkovlc

EI2IIOBIAL STAFE MUSIC EDITOR: SPORTS EDITOR: CONTRIBUTING EDITOR: ILLUSTRATOR: COMPUTER CONSULTANT:

Chris Hayes Rob Wood Matthew Buckley Astrid Phillips Ben Rousch

STAFF WRITERS: Nate Boven, Craig Garthwaite, Andrew Golding, Doug Hillhouse, Jacob Oslick, Maureen Slrha!. BUSINESS STAFF: Matt Fogarty, Scherrie Johnson FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT: Tom Jolliffe (Madrid) Geoff Brown

EDITOR EMERITUS:

The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run journal of conservative and libertarian opinion at the University of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept monetary donations from the lJ-M. Contribu~ions to the Michigan Review are tax-<leductible under Section 501 (c)(3) olthe Internal Revenue Code. The Review is not affiliated with any political party or university political group.

The age-old Michigan question: Is it worth riSing before noon to go see MLK Day events? Our reaction: why stay In cold, cold Michigan?

Footbr.ll on skis?! Ou';raged by the fact that NE· BRASI~ is sharing our coveted national title? (Rob Wood Strikes Back, see pg.l0) In a move calculated to "add in:mlt to injury," the Sports Depar~me::1t at the New York Times ran~ed Michigan third in a computerized poll. Then again, this isn't really surprising, considering that the Times' sports section not only has a slant worthy of the Maoist International Movement in it, but is camparab;e to the sports section your school paper had back in junior high. Proving once again that the spies of the Review are everywhere, a former colbague of ours noted that he· saw NWROC and BAMN agitator Jessica eUl tin allegedly sporting a shiny new pair of NIKE shoes. Oh, the oppression! 0;1, the humanityl Oh, the hideous support for the corporate, capitalist warmongers! We mean, really, not even Review Editor Ben Kepple wears Nikes. He owns a pair of comfortable, worn out, (made in America) SAS shoes. Michigan: The a la carte University: "Oh, you want that? That's extra!" Serpents' Tooth would like to suggest to President Lee "Mophead" Bollinger a sure-fire way to divert attention from current controversies Surround-.

ing the University's housing and affirmative action practices: follow the lead of President Clinton. Get yourself a cute puppy, and name it after your favorite Student Oppressor, Maureen Hartford. Oh wait, some people might say that all breeds of dogs aren't proportionally represented and organize a group to defend "Canine Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary." Nevermind. In light of recent events, isn't it about time that the Spice Girls and Hanson went on a nice, relaxing ski trip? It is really sick that Hanson, speaking of, is going up against the Rolling Stones this year for a Grammy. I mean, come on. You have some halfwit, overproduced band out of Fargo, or God knows where, next to one of the greatest rock bands of all time. Then again, what do you expect when you consider most record executives have the IQ of a lemon rind? We'd like to congratulate The Michigan Daily as this year's winner of the 1997 Bill Clinton Avoiding the Pertinent Issues Award for their blatant repeat ofthe exact same editorial they ruil every year about class credits ("Bad Credit") when they could have written about something that truly affected the community at the time. It's this commitment to ducking the issues at hand and making sure not to - offendanyotlQ-that made. The Michi".,,· o- ~ '''>~''''-·-'''''''··~.''''

. gan Daily this year's winners! CONGRATULATIONS! What is this continuing obsession the Administration has with Lee Bollinger's "Master Campus Plan?" Doesn't this sound at the very least a bit ominous? The only other times you hear the words "Master Plan" are when some a) James Bond-esque vilHan or b) Nazi commando are discussing their evil plans t.o cause harm, havoc, and other destruction. WIly can't something different be used,like perhaps, strategy, or, proposal, not "master plan."

Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial board. Ergo, they are unequivocably correct and just. . Signed articles, letters, and cartoons represent the opinions of the author and not necessarily those of the Review. The opinions presented in this publication are not neces· sarily those of the advertisers or of the University of Michigan. We welcome letters, articles, and comments about the journal. It is not the official opinion of the Review, but the general thinking of.the Editor thereof, that quite frankly the Nagrant· Savic MSA "Administration' is doing too good of a job. It's been virtually months - 2 in fact - since we've had a story about them get anywhere, much less get real play. Can' you guys embezzle something, or buy a Franklin planner, or make some kind of faux pas? Please? Just kidding ... We wish they were kidding when they said President Mophead got a $12,375 raise. Then again, the man has such a positive image he could sell heroin out of his house to Boy Scouts and no one would mind. Please address all advertising and subscription inquiries to: Publisher clo the Michigan Review. Editorial And Business Offices: 911 N. University Avenue, Suite One Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 EMAIL: UREV@umlch.edu URL: http://www.umlch.eduf..mrev/ Tel. (313)647-8438 Fax (313) 936-2S05

TOP TEN REASONS WHY MICmGAN IS BE'ITER THAN NEBRASKA: 10. Animal husbandry cannot be selected as a Michigan major. 9. Our uniforms don't look as if they came straight from the highschool locker room. 8. In the size does matter department, our stadium dwarfs theirs. 7. There are no cows to tip within two miles of Michigan's campus. 6. Coach Carr ~dn't need any sympathy votes. 5. Better helmets. Enough said. 4. Linemen's IQ greater than 80. 3. We have an academic repuation. 2. We catch the ball with our hands, not our legs. 1. We don't play the Akron Zips on a regular basis.

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January 21, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Environment

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A RETHINKING OR AN INDOCTRINATION? The theme semester's official title is "The Environmental Semester: Rethinking the Relationshi p." However, an examination of the kickoff and various ot.her activities connected with the them e semester raises some question about whether the intention of the semester is truly to rethink the relationship between man and the environment, or simply to present students with a specific ideological viewpoint on environmental issues. Jordan's keynote address was not encouraging in this regard . Lost among the Ii tany of statistics she ci ted to tout the success of the EPA and environmental laws was any mention of the costs to businesses or consumers of compliance with these laws, or any discussion of the egregious infringement of private property rights which has occurred in the name of "protecting the environment." In her effusive praise for the Kyoto treaty, she neglected to note how the treaty unfairly places the burden of emissions reduction on the United States, while letting rapidly developing industrial nations such as China off the hook, or that even supporters of the treaty admitted that its actual enforcement in the U.S. would result in a dramatic rise in energy costs which many economists say would cripple the economy. She quickly glossed over the surface of the growing questions surrounding the scientific validity of global warming theories by saying that such "scientific uncertainties" should not prevent us from taking action. Finally, Jordan could not resist the temptation to include a plug for her boss in her address, saying that "protecting the health of America's children is one of President Clinton's highest priorities." In an interview, Mona Hanna attempted to address concerns about the purposes of the theme semester. She said that her hopes for the semester are that it will be a "springboard to create long term environmental change on campus," and that it will "afford better relations between administration, faculty and students through interaction." When asked to respond to concerns that the theme semester intends to impose a certain ideological viewpoint of environmental issues on students, she stated, "we don't want to impose, we simply want to educate students and expose them to the facts and issues surrounding the environment and how it affects

their daily lives." Of course, "educate" is a difficult term to pin down. Truly educating students on issues surrounding the environment would entail a balanced presentation ofall viewpoints on the issues; for instance, how laws concerning forestry might affect the logger, as well as the spotted owl. A theme semester wh ich attempted this could truly claim to be "n,,:hinking the relationship;" however, it is doubtful whether Throngs of students eagerly awaited the kickoff presentation at the Union. most of the activities , ev~nts, or perately need: a true liberal (in the this gaping hole they have resigned courses planned for this theme sebest sense of that word) education. themselves to giving students whatmester will involve any such fundaAnyone who truly fancies themselves mental "rethinking" of the politically . ever they want - in the form of"theme concerned about the future should be s.e mesters" on whatever topic is trendy correct orthodoxy on environmental as troubled by this as they are about at the moment, in U of M's case issues. For instance, while the film the environment. l.\R instead of what those students j.~ series for 'the semester includes the I -----.-critically acclaimed Microcosmos, a fascinating up-close view of the insect world, it also includes such loaded material as the film Koyaanisquatsi, described in the theme semester brochure as "awe-inspiring wilderness photography contrasted with views of urban life, commercial use of land, and resulting human misery," and Walkabout, described as "the story of This New Book Will Tell You How! a brother and sister who are abandoned in the harsh Australian 25 top Student Government presidents at some of the best colleges in America tell you, in their own outback, and rescued by an Aborigine words, exactly what they did to win. boy... [it] captures the conflict beFl." 0", How rOt tween natural instincts and 'civilized' • Run a campaign that's successful and ethical • Design effective flyers, banners, and signs behavior that leads to tragedy for the • Recruit committed volunteers young Aborigine." In other words, the • Get the campus paper to endorse you • Get students out to the polls on election day films show that every time "urban • Convince clubs & organzations to support you life," "commercial use of land," and So You Want to Be President... How to Get Elected on Your Campus includes chapters personally written by 25 presidents at schools like "civilized behavior" (in other words, Texas A&M, the University of Michigan, Vanderbilt University, and California State evil capitalistic society) meet the natuUniversity-Chico. (232 pages, soft-cover, © 1997 by Oxendine Publishing) ral world, nature inevitably gets the shaft. a Check oncloted a Purchase order enc:IoHd I I CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED! a PINoe charge my eredII card: a MasterCard 0 V"osa 0 Arne. What is even more disturbing is Exp.__ Date -___ I I ORDERS SENT NEIT DAY! Account' ___ _ ____ ______ _ _ _ _ the apparent trend of theme semes• ORDER SO YOU WANT TO BE I I PRESIDENT...HOW TO GET ters in general. Whether the theme is CALL 1-800-225-2862 TO ORDER ELECTED ON YOUR CAMPUS: . I OR lUll this portion 10: Student Leaderbooks,c/o The Collegiate NetworX, "death" or "food" (past examples), or I Q Send me - - copies at $24.95 3901 Centerville Road, P.O. Box 4431, Wilmington, DE 19807 I the increasingly trendy themes of this I each (5 or more only $19.95 each) Name year - "genders, bodies, and borders" I MerchandiaeTotal $ - -~ ---·-.-(il-OrrR-rilg --f!l-{-.-group -}------------ I last term and the environment this Shipping & handling I O$2.00perbook $ _ _ _ Mdress _ _ _ _ __ _ -'-_ _ _ _ __ __ _____ I term - the theme semester concept I 7% Sales Tax CitylStatollfJ II reflects a growing problem in higher $ ~ -I Phone ( education. Since the capitulation of I TOTAL: 4\4h, 1 $ - -- E-maiJAdhss I universities to the demands of student radicals in the 1960s to dismantle ~~------------------~---~ core curriculums, our universities have lost the conviction that there is any core canon ofknowledge that they must pass on to their students, To fill

Want to Win Your Next Election?

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January 21,1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

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Redefining Apathy'

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RECENT ARTICLE IN THE ANN ARBOR NEWS DESCRmES A steady decline in political interest among college students since the late , 1960's. The study indicates that since 1966, half the number of college stu,lents feel that keeping up with political affairs is an "important life goal;" the nUl~1ber of students who "frequently" discuss politics is down 16 percent. Ca[ege students, it seems, are just not interested - or at least not keenly interes".:ed - in the political goings-on around them, and are increasingly finiing themselves sitting on a political fence when it comes to taking sides on political issues. That fence is a white picket one for most college students, whose greatest poli tica I concerns today deal with choosing which is the lesser of two evils at the poll lng hooth and considering the situation between the First Family's domestic pets. Bt'.ck in the late 1960's the political situation was much more volatile than . tcday's, with more issues at hand that affected more people. Today, themajor issues affect a smaller minority, and as such their impact has been diluted. AdC:ing to this symptom is the fact that the economic situation for most Americans has improved. Life is pretty good, and comparing the political views and activism oftoday's college students with those of the 1960's raises too many questions of the study's validity. Being interested in politics is not as prestigious as it once was; instead, today's college generation concentrates its efforts at the local level, in the exp:osion of specific organizations related to special interests, ethnicity, and so forth. Political issues aren't as easy to debate anymore, either. Back in the days filled with unpopular war and civil rights violations, lines were more clearly dra'NIl for both sides ofthe issue. War was war, and persecution was persecution. Today's college students, struggling with an education seemingly lacking on all fronts, have no such clear-<:ut issues; questions about welfare, abortion, the national championship and affirmative action can be subjective and require information and statistics that students are hard-pressed to investigate outside of their own particular studies. Such issues are more complex and circular and affect a smaller number of peoille than did an issue like war. Citizens, young and old, will feel most strengly about issues that are closest to them, and for the 35 percent of students SUr/eyed who identify themselves as "middle of the road," neither side ofthe roaJ poses enough of a problem to draw them from their comfortable position. Th(; study did not suggest that general interest in politics is low - rather, tha ~, as mentioned before, politics as an "important life goal" is not as popular as i ~ once was. Political debate on the campus is still alive: even with difficult and debatable issues like abortion, welfare, and affirmative action, students are still willing to argue, take a stand, and defend their beliefs, as evidenced by recent reactions to the affirmative action debate at the University. Yet, this intf. res ~ is at a more local level than anything that could truly be called political; stuJen1s on both sides of the issue are affected in this small area that we call our University, and the people that we need to sway and influence are small in nur.lber. While affirmative action is a national issue, University students feel . it h ;t most clOse to home,and that is how they approach the debate. While mentioning the media Seems like a cop-out, it is an overwhelming prei;ence that has affected the way Americans perceive.the world around them. A bombardment of information from are~ may have desensitized students fror.l political happenings. Not that political happenings have had much to be proud of recently. With a President whose major goals are to ward off scandal after scandal, and a Congress that is more interested in staying-the course, poli ~ics just doesn't stack up to what it once was~ There is a correlation here belwee:l how the government portrays itself and how its young citizens are forc ed to look at it. Yet, it is still difficult to cede that today's college students are completely politically apathetic. There are too many examples all around on our own carr,pus to contradict this idea. The differences that we see between our cou:1terparts from the 1960's and ourselves today lie in how we each choose to cha ,lge the world. Back then, it was important to be involved at the national levd, while writing letters to loved ones fighting overseas. It was important to let others know that you cared, that you would make a difference in that political scene. Today, in our comfortable, post-cold war society, we choose to ShON Ol;..r involvement in smaller causes that matter tousjust as much, but that simply do not make as much noise in the political arena. We are still able to make a difference, whether it be by voicing opinions on paper, or recycling that paper. Our actions just aren't as political anymore - which is okay, because . .'" . , politics has become an unfashionable word anyway. Ml J" , " .\ '" -', ., .... .... .. ..... " "...

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F AT FIRST YOU DONT SUCCEED, TRY, TRY AGAIN. WHEN President Clinton first attempted to pass a radical expansion ofgovernmentfunded health care duriIlg his,tirat term, Congress rejected it. However, the President appears ready to try and get his plan through yet again. The plank of this plan currently at issue is an attempt to .e xpand Medicare. Currently, Medicare is primarily for retired individuals over the age of 65. However, noting the increasing difficulties that seniors have in obtaining quality medical insurance, the administration is proposing to allow all over the age of 62 to buy into the Medicare program. A second proposal presents options to cover workers over 55 who have lost their jobs, and thus their health care coverage. Combined with th,e proposal for the 62-65 age range, these proposals constitute an important, if incremental, step for health policy. One should give the Clinton adininistration credit where credit is due. The lack ofaffordable, quality health coverage is a huge national problem; estimates of the number of peo!lle without health insurance reach 41 million. Even though the Clinton administration's own estimate claims this proposal will only aid about 300,000 people, the incremental nature ofthe plan should not deter support. What is of concern, however, is that this plan will not truly help those who need it most. Much of the health insurance problem among the target ranges above emerges due to the relative poverty of the people involved. As noted in a preliminary study by the Employee Benefits Research Institute, the high costs of the "base premiums," in addition to the increased premiums for the post-65 Medicare payments, would impose a substantial financial burden on most prospective senior citizens. Such economic considerations loom larger for those recently displaced workers, since in many cases they would face a huge baSe premium under conditions of unemployment or underemployment. Having recently lost their jobs, they will not be in a good position to pay such costs. If the plan will really work to help those who need it, the program will have to subsidize such coverage - and this would demand Medicare spending. This is in itselfis not necessarily a problem, since insurance coverage is a laudable goal. However, Medicare recently found itself in a financial crisis, in which a key trust fund for health insurance monies was set to go bankrupt in 2001. Changes in the 1997 budget have pushed this date back to 2010. If the models used are off, then it is possible Medicare could face a crisis sooner. While the Clinton incrementalist approach is no wretched evil, the problems facing Medicare demand a look at some new approaches. Various sorts of programs, such as the insurance plan for federal employees, offer a substantial amount of choice for policyholders. Such a plan, modified for seniors, could provide a more economical health care program than the current one-sizefits-all program. Given our current relative economic prosperity, perhaps now i~ t4~ tj~e we should be ~g a look. Ml -Matthew Buckley

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January 21,1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o LOST IN THE EIGHTIESTM

Ben's Worst of Winter 1998 • ,,~$

BY BENJAMIN KEPPLE

FORMER PROFESSOR OF mine from overseas once remarked that in. Europe, academics have far more prestige than their American counterparts. On the Continent, it appears, the ideas of mOl>t academics are widely respected; indeed, their ideas are generally taken far more seriously by society at large than the ideas of the American intelligentsia. At Michigan, it is rather apparent why. Oh, we do have academics and teachers of great reputation, both on and off campus: John and Sidney Fin '3, Ronald Inglehart, David Lewis, Ralph Williams - just to name a few. But let's face it: the majority of the acaJem ics curren tly ensconced in Certain LiJeral Arts Programs - English, History, Sociology, Women's Studies (hah!), the degenerate American Culture program - are more intenssted in Indoctrinating Students to See Their World View than teaching quality fundamentals. What do I mean by quality fundamentals? Important information that will really help students in the outside world. When courses are offered by departments that allow students to wantonly choose electives of little to no value, while basic and important knowledge that could be offered by that course or another course in that department goes untaught, a grave disservice is done to the student. One could argue that the University's academic reputation might also be harmed as well by the offering oftrite courses, but since when has the University cared about anything but money? BEN'S TIPS FOR CHOOSING COURSES: If i 'c's cross-listed with American Culture or Women's Studies, cross over to a diffetent course. Remember! Avoid a course that uses the following words or phrases in the course description: "E.... rocentric philosophical verbiage," "oppression," "gender," "the Other," "bodies," "imperialism," "alternatives to Capitalism," "postmodernism," "academic discoul'se," "freshperson(s)," "racism," "ethnicity," and of course, "the need for affirmative action." Sociology, Women's Studies, American Culture, and AfricanBenjamin Kepple is Editor-in-Chief of the Review. He is currently hiding somewhere in the Caribbean. You can complain about him and his work to m;:elJ~,mif;h,eFi.u\", . . "

"Designed as an introduction to the new feminist scholarship on women (read: You will be indoctrinated.), this interdisciniplary (read: Lots offilms) course acquaints students with key concepts and theoretical frameworks (read: Men are evil.) to analyze women's condition. (read: Learn how women are oppressed by the white male power structure.) We will explore how women's status has changed over time, but we will concentrate on the situation of contemporary American women. Topics will include: violence against women (read: important subject most likely infused with false and misleading statistics), discrimination in the workplace (read: You too can sue for sexual harassment), the feminization of poverty (of course, no viable solution will be offered to solve the growing numbers of single-parent, female-headed households), and sexuality (Beneath commenting about.) Students will also examine how capitalism, racism, imperialism, and heterosexism (read: 10. FILM AND VIDEO STUDthe white man and his evil, oppressIES 365: Race and Ethnicity in ing ways) affect women's lives. The Contemporary American Televicourse will not only provide stu~ sion. with an analysis of women's 'oppresThis laughable offering ofa course presumes to look at "how racial and sion (no bias here), but will suggest ethnic differences are addressed in a strategies for ending sexual inequalvariety of television contexts." Some ity. (I'm almost afraid to ask.)" of the "cultural texts" that will be Prof. Hackett also teaches WS used in teaching of this course are 342: Gender and Society, where you can study the lunatic fringe of such prime cuts of television viewing pleasure as "American Bandstand," feminist legal thought. Run far and and the Keenan Ivory Wayans show. away from both. No, I am not kidding. There is also 8.AMEIDCAN CULTURE 410: apparently some reading by popular Hispanics in the United States and academic sources of minor note. (Women in Prison: Gender and That'sright,everyone, we can sign Crime Among Blacks and Latinas). up for this class and watch the Keenan Ivory Wayans show for credit, along I'd rather have my fingernails with a whole slew of bad television ripped out than take this course, a (notable exceptions include The Cosby truly shameful offering by the worthShow and All in the Family). This is less American Culture Department. supposedly going to allow us to see "This course will focus on the oppres"discourses" on race and ethnicity (as sion that these women experience a comic once noted, why does the black before, during, and after incarceraguy always get killed first in the teletion."Taught by Prof. Jose-Kampfner, vision movie?) and how they "interthis course almost seems to invite sect with issues of class [!], gender [!!], students to sympathize with felons. and national idenity [!!!]." Good God, that's just what we need, This class should be avoided. If you people feeling sorry for arsonists, really want to learn about race and murderers, and thieves. Wonderful. ethnicity, take a course that does not 7. LINGUISTICS 211: Introforce you to watch Oprah - yet anduction to Language. other "cultural text." This course appears to be a de9. WOMEN'S STUDIES! AM. cent course, in the beginning, but I CULT. 240: Introduction to will admit to having sincere doubts Women's Studies. about the latter parts of the course; A prime example ofthe old phrase: specifically, "we will then review ma"Those who can, do; those who can't, jor aspects of language structure teach." Apparently in Women's Stud(sounds, words, sentences) and apply ies, you don't even need to teach anythem to current dialects of English thing relevant. The course descripsuch as Black English ... What is ti~n,reads as follbws,(with my notesn' \ ~tal1dard' English" and is it better

American Studies are not real academic majors. Who ever heard of a Women's Studies major, or an American Culture major, who did anything in the real world outside of academia? That's right, you can't think of anyone! Major in something useful, like History or English with the focus you want, but don't waste four years getting a degree essentially worthless outside ofYe Olde Politically Correct Ivory Tower. After enrolling, if your professor ever mentions the following in a serious manner, immediately find a new course: "The tragedy of Nicaragua," "American imperialism," "right~wing racists," "Japan: World War II's Forgotten Victims," "Socialism or death!" But without further ado, once again, here are my Ten Worst Class Offerings for the WinterTermof1998. If you're taking these, January 27th is the last day for regular Drop/Add. Sign up for a real course, will you?

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than 'dialects' of English?" I would argue students are better served by Lingustics 210, a close counterpart to the course, but a decent study of linguistics. Of course Standard English (American English), or the Queen's English, is better - educated people speak Standard English. It makes one appear intelligent and may even be a factor in getting a job. This leads us to the question of "dialects" in English. It is insulting to refer to "Black English" as a dialect, as it infers that all blacks speak it. This is. of course, not true - almost all the blacks I have met speak Standard English. What is currently called "Black English" CQuid be called "Uneducated English," as far more whites speak it than blacks, and anyone who does speak it is usually the product of a failed education system: the excess mispronunciation of words, the flagrant use of double negatives, etc., that could have been halted with a decent English class or two. 6. ENGLISH 411: ART OF THE FILM: (Prison and the Artist) A course appearing in "Ben's Worst of Winter" list two years in a row, this abhorrent offering in the English department can be repeated for credit with permission. A friend of mine was denied the chance to repeat Shakespeare for credit; two to one says he could have taken this. This course will "address prison reality and culture," by which I assume the students will learn about really disgusting things, and I'll also take odds that the "Under Lock and Key" section in MIM Notes is used as course material. Avoid this course with extreme prejudice. 5. mSTORY 111: MODERN EUROPE. I mSTORY 161, U.S. 1865:PRESENT. (tie) The History Department has really done a surprisingly good job this year of at least seeming to present a decent offering of courses, with many fme offerings. However, History 111 is still being taught by Prof. Robert (y~) Frost, and I had the unfortunate experience of taking the course. In my humble opinion, the course glosses over the important issues. It covers such hot-button issues as 'the making of modern gender and racial differences', 'the position of women in European society', and 'the ways that people in the past invented their worlds, their sensibility, and their sexuality' and less on unimportant topics such as 'the revolutions of the Please see WORST OF on Page 6

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January 21,1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS AFFAIRS

MLK Symposiu1'll Anti-Conservative " 1,\''''''

BY ilENJAMIN KEPPLE

T DOESN'T TAKE THAT much for someone to realize w1\Cre they are not wanted, whjch is why most conservative students enjoyed a three day weekend ruther than attend any of the selfrigUeo:.ls programs offered at this yca;-'s Uartin Luther King Day Sympos:um. Indeed, now more than ever, the University has twisted Martin Luther King Day into an ideological con.j tru:.:t solely created to serve its poliLica l ends. For a true "dialogue" on race, the malltra that screams forth from the U ni ver;;ity'slips at every conceivably opPJrttmity when race is mentioned, one wO~lld expect to see the likes of pronincnt black conservatives along WiCl the legions of black liberals pre::;ent. Sadly, none of these eminent men and women were invited to this year's Symposium. One wonders where the likes of Shelby Steele, Wa lter Williams, Thomas Sowell, Alan Keyes, Ward Connerly, J.C. WaUs, Gary Frank, and other prominent and distinguished conservative

blacks are; people who could truly present a viewpoint dissimilar from those of this year's invited guests. It would be fascinating, for example, to see Connerly and Sowell square off . against prominent MLKday speakers such as Cornel West and Clarence Page about almost any topic, but especially those dealing with race relations. However, that would be presenting an alternative point of view, something that the organizers of the Symposium and the University Administration detest and fear. These alternative, i.c. right of center, views are convieniently excluded from the public eye in a so-called symposium. What a symposium! The mere concept of a symposium implies that there is a possibility for rational discourse, for dissent, for thought! Instead, this sham of an event will be an exercise in groupthink, where invited guests and University fascisti-in-training alike preach to the choir. The events offered this year are truly sick when you consider that the original intent ofMartin Luther King's message was equality for all people,

with hostility towards none. This, I can assure you, will not occur in any of the MLK Day events. Instead, the events will be used to focus the hostili ties of the Administration and some students against the current lawsuits facing the University, affirmative action opponents, and anyone who has the audacity to step out of line with the Views Currently In Favor With The Administration. The views of the Administration are made perfectly clear in this friendly open letter by Associate Provost for Academic and Multicultural Affairs Lester P. Monts. "Since our last observance of the Martin Luther King, Jr. Day holiday, we have witnessed setbacks to higher educations's goal to provide quality educational opportunities for all people. Hopwood, Proposition 209, and the University of California Board of Regents' decision on affirmative action have become topics in our daily ocnversations. Now, the University of Michigan is faced with a lawsuit that has the potentia,! to impede not only progress toward educational equality, but to turn us back to a resegre-

19th and 20th cenluries' and 'war and society.' You focus a lot more on the socblogical than on the historical, and it nally is the ideal student trap - toe second in an intro sequence for His ~ory majors. 4. COMM. 474: Mass Communication and Identity. Special attention is given in this cou ;'8e ,. to the ways in which the mass meda ·: an create, sustain, or alter ethnic culture or subcultures." Now look. Tllis is equivalent to saying that The COi'by Show can create, sustain, and altu at will a portion ofthe American pecple. The only people it would al ter would be people dumb enough to take FN 365 noted above. 3. l TNIVERSITY COURSE 150, Sec t. 005: Good Books, Bad Movies, and the Perception of Medicine. Gn:ding for this course consists of instruc~or and peer evaluations of par~icil'ation in both discussion and gl·O"-.1P rrojects, which screams to the fact that there will be little actual wor k done. In addition, students will also present group analyses of epi· sodes o/' Chicago .Hope Q,nd ER. They

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Please see MLK DAY on Page 12 '"'''.~

Worst of • • • CONTINUED from Page 5

gated educational system natiomvide. "As new technology, changing demographics, and challenges of the new millenium bring the peoples of our nation and world closer, anti-diversity forces stand to forestall the benefits of these new relationships. The opponents of affirmative action and multiculturalism in higher education espouse short-term remedies for age-old problems; they fail to recognize our nation's history and social conditions that continue to deny equal educational opportunities for many Americans." What preening arrogance! What philistine ignorance! It is a shock Monts is so direct, in a way, given that most University officials are rather evasive in talking about anything. In a way, however, it is striking. Falling back on all fronts, suffering defeat after crushing defeat, the generals try desperately to rally their troops with all the propaganda they can muster. Anti-diversity forces, indeed. The opponents of

ety. will also watch M* A*S*H and Gross And finally ... Anatomy (the "bad" movies suggested). They do read a few decent 1. ENGLISH 140: FIRST YEAR books, but I frnd it deplorable where . UTERARY SEMINAR: Sect. 003, the creations of mad television execuGothic Bodies. tives become the basis for a class. You English professors really have "This course demands student parrun out of stuff to research, haven't ticipation and lively discussion," probyou? This course will make you work ably because nothing else is done. - but what work! "We shall consider Is there a doctor in the house? how the Gothic as a genre has been 2. RESIDENTIAL COLLEGE used to express or work through anxieties about sexuality, yace, and class 350, Se~t. 001: Environmental Education and a Sw;tainable So..." I offer English 140, Section 003 as ciety. the quintessential mistake of English This (thank God!) one credit, oneDepartments everywhere: decent littime-only (God be praised!) RC minierature and even some popular literacourse is associated with the Enviture - along with fllms (is there an ronmental Theme Semester, another English course that cannot exist withuseless, politically correct, no-account out fIlm? I wonder ... ) are going to be sham that only a politically correct --~ academic could think up. It will be Discount Code· TEXTBOOK "focusing largely" on the work of David Orr of Oberlin College, a "leading educational and environmental scholar." Orr, who will be visiting the Environmental Theme Semester Symposium (April 3 and 4) to deliver a keynote speech (suggested title: The Sky is Falling! The Sky is Falling! AAAAAAAIIIEEEE!) is sure to be typical of the enviro~Nazi ilk that proclaim doom, gloom, and general bad things to happen unless we immediately return to a pre-industrial soci-

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analyzed not for their meaning, but by what they has to do with sexuality, race, and class. God help us. With classes like these, people are definently going to need the intervention of a higher power if they "are to gain any worthwhile knowledge.

Questions? Comments? mrev@umich.edu

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EXPIRES FEB. 15, 1998

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January 21, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS AFFAIRS

lTD's New Deal '<.

',1JI?

BENJAMIN RouseH

OU MAY HAVE HEARD that the way you are charged for computing services has change-l this term. I decided to dig into wh at is different, and whether or not it has changed for the better. Aloag be way, I stumbled upon some situations which disturbed and concerned me. Before I delve into these distresdng discoveries, I shall tell you aOo:.lt 'Iv hat I call the "New Deal" from lTD. As I'm sure you recall, you used to be allocated $10 every month to spend on varbus computing services such as printing and remote dial-up access. PJso provided to you were email and e-mail storage (3 Megs), IFS storage (5 Megs), your U-Mich login name and password, WWW access, Confer-U, and Usenet News. If you used your entire $10 allocation to print in the sites, you could have printed about 500 pages in a term. If you lived at home, you probably spent most of your allocation on dial-up access, for a total of about 90 to 360 hours per term, depending on the time of day you connected. When your account ran dry, you had to descend into the basement of the Union and wdt in line to set up a selffunded overflow account. If you did not set up such an account, you were immediately cut off from printing and dial-up access. I need not remind you of ti.le terrible headaches and stress this caused to almost everyone, but I will anyway; If your account happened to run out of funds on a weekend, you were S.O.L. until Monday, since the Union office was only open on weekdays. The New Deal promises to be strcss-:ree. You are allocated 120 pages of printing in the campus computing sites, and 80 hours of dial-up tim ~ per term. This is roughly equivalent to the old system of charges if you had split your $40 per term (that's ($10 / month) * (4 months / termÂť betweea printing and dial-up time. With the New Deal you are notified (via e-mail) when you have used up halfyour allocation ofprinting or dialup hours, and again when you have used up your allocations. Best of all, after your free allocations are exhausted, charges for any additional printing or dial-up time you use are automatically billed directly to your student account. This means no more weekends without e-mail for off-cam-

Benjamin Rausch is Computer Consultant for the Review. HeerVoys badminton..

pus folk, and no interruption of printing services for the campus-dwellers. As awesome as the New Deal is, there is a hidden cost. You may have noticed that the friendly and helpful lTD consultants no longer staff the NUBS and Union computing sites. The NUBS and Union sites are being converted into 'Key-Card' sites, which means that they will no longer be staffed, and you will need your University of Michigan ID card to enter the site. If you have a problem with some software, or some nasty old Macintosh eats your disk, you will have to go to the Angell Hall or SEB computing sites for help. Why has funding for computer consulting in the sites been red:uced? Money for the computing sites comes from the lTD General Fund, which in turn comes from an allocation from the U-M General Fund, which is also the source offundingfor such diverse things as "teaching, research, library services, student aid, and the operation and maintenance ofphysical properties among other things" (Dino Anastasia, Manager of the Campus Computing Sites, from the U-M Planning Guide for 1997-98). It seems that the money for the lTD computmg services (network infrastructure, the Basic Computing Package, printing services) and sites comes from the same source as funding for toilet bowl cleaner and gardening tools. As absurd as this is to me, I can accept that the Administration lumps all of this together. Since tIns fund is so huge (as it must be to be the source of money for all ofthese different things), it seems like it could spare a bit more for an important service such as computer consulting. The facts, however, don't agree. The costs to the computing sites and lTD have risen dramatically in the past few years. There are several good reasons for this increase, of which inflation is only the beginning. lTD undertakes one ofthe most difficult tasks in the modern world keeping up With new technology. The computers and software that were top of the line a couple of years ago are now obsolete. The Sites have to constantly upgrade their computers and software in order to keep pace with what users need and want. Just last year, the Sites upgraded their mM-eompatibles to Windows NT (finally!). This was a huge improvement over the obsolete Windows for Workgroups; however many of the older machines had trouble running the new software. So, the Sites have acguired several new high-end compuiera to replace the older onâ&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘ Thia

funds, the students are not being fully cycle of upgrades is ongoing, and will prepared for life after college. not stop for many years, and probably Surely the administration must decades. have a good reason for denying the Another rising source of costs to students a major part of their educathe computing sites and lTD is the tion. I do not see one. How much users. I remember four years ago money was spent on uglifying the when you could walk into NUBS at Diag? How much money is spent on pretty much any time of day or night such frivolous majors as Art History and sit right down at a computer. or American Culture? How many Now this site is full most of the time, new computers or consultants could and you have to wait for a decent be funded with this money? machine, or travel to such obscure The University clings to the ways and out of the way sites like the one at of the past, and its "rich history" of Public Health Building II, or the excellence in basic subjects s\1ch as Frieze Building. The number of comEnglish, political science, chemistry, puters in NUBS has not decreased, and physics has secured it a place but the number of users has increased. among the world's great institutions. The sheer volume of people who use However, in order for the U-M to the computing sites every day is trecontinue its tradition ofahighquality mEmdous. Try to get into Angell Hall education, it must invest more time some afternoon if you don't believe and effort in the future of America me. More people in the Sites means computers and computing technology. more printing, and more consulting, The Administration is chock full both of which costs more money. The oftraditionalists who believe that the consultants must also be trained on traditional subjects of the past are any new hardware or software that the key to the future. You. want a the sites acquire, so they will be able foreign language? Try learning C++. to help you when you have a problem. Millions of the most intelligent and This training also sucks up signifiadvanced people on planet know it, cant funds. It is obvious that lTD and ttle'~ but you cannot fulfill your language requirement' with it. The computercomputing sites are under a great related majors, which will secure this deal of financial strain. The funding university a continuing place among to lTD, and thus the computing sites, the top colleges, are dreadfully unhas remained virtually unchanged derstaffed. . I have encountered from last year to this year. This has waitlists of more than 60 people for a caused the computing sites managesingle class. Discussion sections in ment to make some difficult decisions. LS&A's Computer Science DepartAccording to Anastasia, "The costs of ment, along with the College of consulting services (one-on-one asEngineering's Electrical Engineering sistance) is very [high]. While conand Computer Science and Computer sulting services are being reduced, we Engineering Departments, are overare also exploring ways of enabling flowing due to a lack of GSI's. The students to be more self-sufficient Administration needs to take a good and assist themselves." So, the lack look at the world outside of the U -M, of funding supplied to lTD and the and compare what is being used there computing sites has ultimately had a to what is being offered here. negative affect on you, the computer We need to get rid of the frivolous site user. You may no longer have immediate, personal assistance when and outdated policies of the past in you encounter a computing problem. order to succeed in the modern world. There needs to be more than suffiIt is obvious that the funding to lTD and the computing sites should cient funding for computing and related services. In order to remain "the be increased. It is also interesting to note that computers have infiltrated leaders and best," the University of almost every concentration on camMichigan must lead in the field of pus. From Art to Women's Studies, technology. Mt students and professors are becoming more computer literate and dependent. Why, then, has there not Vending Route, Snickers been an increase in the computing 50 Locations services available to you? The major task of the University is to prepare $800 - $1200 you for what you will find in the real Solid monthly income world after you graduate. One of the things you will undoubtedly encounteris the computer. The University is Cost $2995.00. not doing its job to the best of its 1-800-963-6123 ability__ By.yin( lTD neceuary

January 21,1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o NATIONAL AFFAIRS

Health BY

C.J.

CARNAccmo

ELL, THE TOBACCO prohibitionists and the enemies offreedom have won another victory. As ofJanuary 1, 1998, smoking has been prohibited in all bars ar,d casinos in California. The only exceptions are bars and casinos on Indian land, bars which are owner operated and have no employees, and bars tbat are not enclosed by four walls aad a ceiling. Owners who do not comply with the new draconian measures will be forced to pay a fine of $10() fo:' the first offense and as much as $7,000 for repeat offenses. California's ban represents a serious assault on private property rights. Private property is defined as that which is owned by an individual or a group of individuals and not the Sta~e. Contrary to the anti-smokers' claims, bars and casinos are not public proI=erty. Just because an owner ope;1S bis doors to the public, he does not chai.1ge the nature of his property from private to public. The property is still being controlled and utilized for the benefit of the owners, not the

Nazis"~~Strike

State. Both Jeffersonian and Lockean political thought agree that the surest way for the State to erode its citizens' liberty is to control their property. As Douglas J. Den Uyl, a professor of philosophy, pointed out, "To 'open one's doors to the public' simply means that one is advertising the terms ofan agreement for an exchange to any and all comers. It does not mean that one has a public responsibility to others beyond living up to the terms of the agreement, nor are the owners of such properties implying by their advertisement 'that they Wish to relinquish control of their property to the State." Smoking policies should be deter-' mined by the economic power of the consumer operating in a free market, not by the coercive power of the State. State action, by nature, is universal, rigid, and arbitrary. It'ignores the variety of interests involved in any issue. A free market is defined by freedom of exchange. The benefits of that exchange can only be realized if the individuals involved decide on mutu-

California

ally agreeable terms. Therefore, the ployees have the right to put themincentives of the marketplace seek to selves at risk. It denies the link beaccommodate all parties involved. tween rights and responsibilities and If one establishment owner fmds replaces it with paternalistic State that the majority of his customers are action. If an employee does not wish non-smokers then he is free to adopt to work at an establishment which more restrictive smoking policies. allows smoking, the solution is not Conversely, if another owner finds legislation banning smoking, but simthe majority of his customers are ply for that person to seek employsmokers, he has a right to make poliment elsewhere. , cies to accommodate them. In each People today, particularly those case, the owner is responding to marof a fanatical stripe, look to the State ket forces. If a non-smoker does not first to reform behavior which they wish to be around smokers, then he find objectionable instead of such enshould patronize places which are tities as the marketplace and social smoke-free or sit in the non-smoking forces. This trend, if left unchecked, section of the establishment. will surely extinguish the torch of Advocates claim the ban is necesliberty leaving only the shadow of sary to protect employees from the despotism. dangers of second-hand smoke. But, To allow the State to assume reif the smoking policy of an establishsponsibility for what can and should ment is known to an employee when be the responsibility of individuals is he considers a job offer, then that an insidious and grave threat to libperson has accepted the policy in acerty. When individuals surrender cepting the job. If an employee undertheir personal responsibilities they stands the risks and still wishes to surrender their liberty as well. It is work at a smoking establishment, easy to see why the State has chosen there is no room for legitimate State the banner of public health to disaction on his behalf. . guise its usurpation of liberties; masCalifornia's ban denies that e~~"'" ters always want healthy slaves. Ml.

Unions and Politics Don't Mix BY

C.J.

CARNA-CCHIO

NIONS BEGAN AS ORGAnizations dedicated to protecting workers' rights from the abuses of Big Business. But who is protecting the workers' rights from the abuses of Big Labor? For decades Big La':>or has collected and spent forced union dues for political purposes without the approval orits members .. But. if Republicans and the Amcric,llls for Tax Reform get their way, Big Labor won't be able to use members' dues to purchase candidates and ele~tions anymore. The attack will take place on three froLts: 1) By January 21, 1998 state legi31ators in all 50 states will begin submitting bills designed to prohibit unions :rom using members' dues for political purposes without their consent. 2) The Republican leadership in both the Senate and the House will beg;n r,ushing legislation placing a similar union dues ban in the pending carr, pai511 finance reform bill. 3) There will be a nationwide drive to begin placing initiatives similar to the 1992 Washington State initiative on primaly and general election ballots next

fall,

It was the 1992 Washington State ballot initiative which inspired this

As Thomas Jefferson wrote, "To comlong overdue political assault on Big pel a man to furnish contributions of Labor. The initiative made it illegal to collect and spend union dues for po- " moneyfor the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves, is sinful and litical purposes without the prior contyrannical." sent of members. As a result, unions When a union decides to support began a drive to solicit personal poa candidate, the decision is not made litical contributions from their memby a poll of the union's membership, bers. Out of the 40,000 public embut by the top union leaders. This ployee union members only 82 were oligarchy exercises an enormous willing to contribute. Of the state's amount of political power by confis45,000 unionized public school teachcating and spending the majority's ers, only 8,000 were willing to make money. contributions. The majority of workUnion officials collect some $4.5 ers do not want their hard-earned billion annually in compulsory dues money automatically confiscated and and funnel much ofit into unreported used for political purposes. campaign operations to elect and conBig Labor's practice of using memtrol congressional majorities dedibers' dues for political purposes withcated to their agenda. As economist out their consei-tt represents a serious James T. Bennet wrote in the winter infringement of political freedom. Po1991 issue of the Journal of Labor litical freedom means the absence of "[U]nions have greatly inResearch, coercion of a man by his fellow men. creased their financial commitment One way political freedom is exerto political activity in recent election cised is when a citizen votes for the cycles.~as a way to achieve in the candidate of his choice. Another way political process the gains that have is when a citizen uses his financial eluded them at the bargaining table." resources to persuade others to make Big Labor's political activity has the same choice, i.e. contributing to a come to resemble a political party.' candidate or political party. Unions sponsor radio and television So, when a union coerces a memcommercials and distribute tons of ber into giving his money, through political literature supporting the canforced dues, to a candidate he does not didate the union has decided to pursupport, that member's fundamental chase. They also provide manpower, political liberty has been desecrated.

which is often reimbursed out ofunion funds, for Election Day chores. Unions were founded to confer economic advantages on their members, not to perform political services. Even the Supreme Court recognized this in its 1988 decision, Communications Workersv.Beck. The Court ruled that private sector unions cannot collect and use the forced union dues of objecting employees for anything beyond collective bargaining, contract administration, or grievance adjustment. Beck makes it clear that nonmembers required to pay union fees as a condition of employment have a right under the National Labor Relations Act to object and obtain a reduction of their compulsory payments so that they do not include union expenses for purposes other than those three stated above. Rarely do a union's costs for performing these functions equal the amount confiscated in dues. Hopefully, the Republican drive will succeed and American workers will be freed from union tyranny. But, until the Republican David finally slays the Big Labor Goliath, always remember to look for the union label which stands for political oppression and corruption. Then put the item back on the shelf.

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January 21, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Housing Anger

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CONTINUED from PAGE 1

University Housing employees, and Shipman and Bentley Scholars. Between 1990 and 1997 the actual enrollment of first year students ' jumped from 4,631 to 5,534; an increase o( 19 percent. This freshman increase coupled with an increase of students returning to the dorms beginning in 1994 caused the overcrowding. As the size of the freshman class increases, the same percentage ofreturning res idents produces more leases signed and fewer spaces for incoming freshmen. University Housing maintains that it only guarantees freshmen a space in a traditional dorm, regardless of their housing application date and no others. Director of Housing Public Affairs Alan Levy states, "We have never guaranteed housing to upperclass students. The fact that we can only house a third of the student body is the reason why we have this elaborate off campus system." Housing's decision has angered many students. One source offrustration came in what appeared to be a lack ofofficial communication between the University and parents and students. LSA Junior Jonathan Mezzadri spear-headed an e-mail petition drive which collscted hundreds of complaints from members of the University community over the limiting ofstudent options, Speaking on the lack of communication Mezzadri pointed out, UI found it particularly interesting that we read a November 19 article in the Daily about the decision but it wasn't until December 8 that we received letter that we received letters in our mailboxes and the letter to the parents was postmarked December 18." Levy responds, "Could we have done better? Probably, in terms of communication. If we had it to do over again we would have gotten the letters out earlier." Mezzadri makes the point that the decision runs contrary to the University's self-professed commitment to diversity because it will segregate the freshmen from experienced upperclassmen. He states, "Upperclass students set the tone and personality of the various dorms. I also personally feel that learning by example is a very important part of life, and withoutexamples~ many firstyear studen ts may have a harder time adapting to college life in general." Many have criticized the decision as greedy since a larger freshman class means more money. LSA sophomore Annie Tomlin said, "They're getting so many freshmen in that they're forgetting other students. It

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seems to be a blatant disrespect for upperclassmen and a little money grubbing." Levy states that the increase of freshmen is a result of the inability to predict the number of accepted students who will enroll at the University. He further states that, "I think it is safe to say that the University will never make a decision about the size of the freshman class based on whether University Housing has some vacancies or not; that you can take to the bank." Others feel the decision takes pri~ ority away from the students who deserve it most; the juniors and se- . niors. "I feel that since we have more seniority we sheu:ld have more options," said Junior Alice Chen. But, Levy insists that this is not a permanent or calculated move against upperclassmen: "We're doing this as a practical, we hope temporary solution, to reduce overcrowding and to make sure that we have adequate space for new students who are viewed as not the only audience we need to serve but a very critical audience we are obliged to serve. We hope that we won't have to do this again next year." Many have expressed concern

students feeling panicked; that they have to rush to seek alternative housing. But, Levy contends that "The rushing around is in large measure a function of the misinformation campaign fueled by rumors." Mezzadri blames Housing for the panic some students have felt over the issue, saying, "It seems that Housing created the rumors by not officially releasing any information for nearly a month after the news reached students." Everyone from the Regents and RHA members to students have asked why Housing did not explore the pos- , sibility of building another dorm. Levy said that building a new dorm was not considered because sp.ch a decision is not simply a Housing decision but a University decision. He does not rule out the option as an alternative in the future, but it will "not happen until some stage further along in President . Bollinger's process of developing a master campus plan." . Levy assures that a comprehensive information package regarding all the details of this year's re-application process will distributed 'sometime at the end of January.· m

over what will happen to the estimated 400-600 juniors and seniors who will be affected by this policy. There is fear among this body of students and their parents that they will have no place to live next year. Currently, the non-tradtional halls which ' will house the juniors and seniors in September are filled to capacity and those living there have top priority in the re-application policy. But, Levy assures that there will be a sufficient turnover in these halls to accommodate any upperclassmen who wish to live there: "No one is being kicked out of University Housing. In some cases the choices may become constricted but if you want to live in on-campus housing you will have that opportunity." Levy insists that once Admissions has calculated the best estimate as to the size of the incoming freshman class, Housing can then make the final determination of the number of residents which can return to the residence halls. If these numbers fall below the limit, Housing will permit juniors and seniors to sign leases in traditional dorms. Housing's decision has left many

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Dala oblaiMd on Decemb!lr 16, 1997 from Raynelle Kempf (313·647·3622) in til<! Registra(s office. Due 10 new federal regulations, Fall 1996 and Fall 1997 data include new incoming freshmen from respective spring and summer te rms

Prepared by Jonathan Mezzadri, Student, University of Michigan

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

January 21, 1998

o SPORTS

U-M

Detractor~.:,

BY ROB WOOD

ECENT EVENTS IN THE \. college football world have " caused a tremendous amount of whining and complaining from all ove~' tho} country to be heard here in Ann ArJor. Two "cataclysmic" events, which occurred over the last few months, have appal'entIy signaled the coming of the Apocalypse in the minds of a gIeat many Southerners and N eoras ;{ans. The first of these events regards the State of Tennessee, and how its people have moaned incessantly over who shculd have been the recipient of the Heisman Trophy. Apparently, this aw(:rd .,vas Peyton Manning's birthright (along with the Firmament and the He"vens, no doubt). The fact that MichigHn's own Charles Woodson won the prize has put the city of Knoxville, Tennessee on the brink of declaring a second Civil War. For those of you who have seen Kevin Costner's "The Postman," there is no need to worry abo'..lt losing your mail services. The mOLt often heard arguments in this direction are made by those living in Tennessee (an ESPN anchor has referred to them as "Tennessee Trailer Trash"), followed closely by those from Virginia, North Carolina, and Florida. According to some of these people, ManniEg should have won the award not only because of his previous years' per[ormances, but also because he is such a great guy. He leads the Tennessee band in renditions of "Rocky Top." lIe gives free pizza to those wai ting in line to buy tickets for football games. He has even apparently healed a few lepers while he's at it. Others believe he should have won it because he is such a great student. He was an academic All-American. He chose to come back for his last year of NCAA eligibility, even though he com pleted his B.A. in Athletic Basket Weaving in only three-and-a-half years! I Ie also gave up a guaranteed a several - lrillion-dollar contract in the NFL, and the privilege of being picked first in lheLeague'sdraftthatyear, to corr.e back to little 'ole Knoxville for one mo;'e year. The kid is a prodigy! If only all college students had his dedication to their studies! Surely, he deserves the Heisman! SJghtly more sane individuals just point out Manning's stats and then to Woodson's, with the implication that a player's numbers can indicate his merit to his team. Of course, they

Rob Wood is Sports Editor of the Review. At the office, he has the heart of a Nebra.ska tM ... on ~ ,duJr..

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neglect to inform their audience that the reason Peyton Manning has such statistics is that he started for a school in the SEC during his tenure. Ofcourse he is going to have huge passing stats!

Woodson as his pick for the season's MVP. This was not the worst of the sour grapes spewed forth from the mouths of Volunteer fans, however. There

they trailed going in the second half of that game), and Iowa State. So what, if it took an illegal catch to defeat unranked Missouri? So what, if they almost lost to 5-7 Colorado and only ended up winning by three, while the ing team in a ""'~ . ~ t\ . Wolverines thrashed the Buffs by 24? They're Nebraska! Their coach, that passing con"l ' ~~~~~rQ~~~ ference for ' , ~" ~ great sportsman Tom Osborne, refour years! ~~~ljl~~l~IF~~" tired after this past season! They went Each of undefeated against a conference that those four had the same luck in its bowls as years had a Michigan's conference (which is to player besay, very little). As said earlier, they sides Mantook down the mighty Tennessee! ning taking Granted, Tennessee didn't really beho~e the long in the Orange Bowl in the first place. They only got there was beHeisman, however. The cause they lost their game to Florida last two years earlier than Florida State lost theirs. seemed to be Okay, so maybe Florida State would have actually shown up to play in the his best opportunity to Orange Bowl. So what! Nebraska win the Troshould still be the chumps ... er, champs, right? phy) but last U-M Football on the road to Victory Michigan only won against Coloyear, Danny Wuerffel of rado, Notre Dame, Northwestern, Florida beat Manning's Volunteers were actually those who implied that Michigan State, Penn State, Iowa, Wisconsin, and Ohio State. What kind en route to a national title. This year, Mr. Woodson won the Heisman TroCharles Woodson dominated every phy because he is black, and Peyto1t. " of claim for a national title is that? Manning is white. The fact that such The Wolverine quarterback didn't one of the Wolverines' victories on the even beg and plead the coaches to ignorance is still present in this world road to their own national title. staggers the imagination. Woodson vote for his team to be Nationa! ChamEach year, the Heisman Trophy is won five of the six \Toting regions in pions, after the Rose Bowl! Michigan given to the most valuable player to actually assumed that their action the country, with Manning taking only his team, in the nation. Peyton Manon the field would speak for itselfl ning was a quarterback with very the South. It is so admirable of all the Silly them. good passing statistics, this season. traditionally colorblind Southerners To step out of the heads of the Ryan Leaf of the Washington Couto stay so racially unbiased in their voting. They must be quite proud of Cornhuskers and back into reality gars had comparable numbers, and for a moment, three of the four orgadidn't have the benefit of a conference themselves. nizations that award college football championship game. Do not feel too Perhaps there is no more telling bad for Manning, though. display regarding to whom the national championships selected the University of Michigari Wolverines When Michigan's #2 was on the Heisman Trophy truly belongs, than as their choice to be the champs, this defensive side of the ball, he took half the Rose and Orange Bowls. Woodson played like a pro (as he has every season. The fourth required a fourof the field away from the opposing point margin of victory by Nebraska. team's quarterback. Every time he right to be, now that he has done Of course, either two of the voters in everything he can in the realm of took to the field on offense, he either that poll voted Michigan lower than made a big play, or set one up for college football), and Manning played second in the land, or one of them did another player on his team, as he like a kid, throwing interceptions and not even rank the Wolverines as high lured the opposing defense away from incomplete passes all night, until he as #4, but no one will ever know who was fmally pulled, just before the inthe true ball carrier. it was, because the Coaches' Poll is After the award was given to evitable conclusion of his final game: anonymous. What a pity. Oh well, his his team's utter destruction at the Woodson, thousands of calls, letters, initials are probably T.O., anyway. and e-mail me,ssages lit up phone hands of the Nebraska Cornhuskers. A certain phrase has been coined Do not feel too bad for Manning, howlines, newspapers, and mail boxes all on a locally released T-shirt. It has a ever. He now has a street in Knoxville over the country. Eddie George, who Michigan helmet and a Nebraska helnamed after him: Peyton Manning plays for the Tennessee Oilers and met underscored by the phrase "Any Pass. How nice. won the Trophy for Ohio State two time, any place," and represents the Speaking of the Huskers though, years ago, admitted to voting for feelings of every Maize-and-Blue Lincoln, Nebraska is the other source Woodson. He received hate mail and of whining that has echoed throughblooded person on the planet. In other phone calls about it for weeks. words, to all those who would try to out the college football world for the Tennesseeans were even quoted as detract from Michigan's hard-earned past few months. According to the asking for him to be traded or waived glory: put up or shut up. m University ofNebraska football team, by the Oilers! The man played for they, not the Michigan Wolverines, OSU, Michigan's oldest and most bitdeserved the undisputed 1997 nater rival, for pity's sake! He would tional title. And why not? They played have less reason to vote for Woodson all the juggernauts in the land, inthan just about anyone, save David

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

MLKDay CONTINUED from PAGE 6

affirmative action are coming! as if it is a story told to frighten children. Monts' divine wisdom is appar~ entiy passed on to the 1998 MLK Symposium Planning Committee. In keeping with the theme ofthis year's MLK Eymposium, "Why We Can't Wait," this groups proclaims in a list of "goals": "We can't wait while the dream is undernjned by lawsuits that would result in a return to segregationism." 'We can't wait until another court decides to support affirmative action and truly equal opportunity." And of course, the indirect use of the reductio ad Hitlerum: 'We can't wai t for more swastikas to be drawn in our residence halls." The message is muddled, but the picture drawn is clear: Affirmative action opponents ::;: anti-diversity forces ::;: segregationists ::;: bona fide Nru.i hatemongers. How cruel, how spiteful is it, for someone to use the inciden~e of a genuine hate act to brand one's ideological opponents as swastika-drawing, anti-diversity Hitler youth. What cold, calculating, person would do that? These people did, and they invested a great deal oftime and energy into thinking up such an argument. After all, such strong comparisons are bound to have their opponents thought of by some in a very negative light. Fewer people will speak out that way. Fewer people will disagree. What a UUlgled web they weave. It's almost Orwellian, in a way. But let us look at some of the invited guests this pipsqueak group apparently had a hand in inviting to this year's Symposium. Let us examin-e the programs they support. 13 January. Palante, Siempre Palante! The Story ofthe Young Lords Party. . Sponsors: Revolutionary AntiImperialist League and the Maoist International Movement. Documentary "explains the history of the Puerto' Rican people's struggle for equality, as well as the development of activism in the United States to promote equality for Puerto Ricans." (In other words, this documen tary explores the history ofPuerto Rican nationalist terrorist groups that have single-digit, if that, support of the population. No mention, ofcourse, will be noted regarding the fact these die-hard revolutionaries caused numerous hardship and suffering to other Puerto Ricans.) 15 January. Diversity and Medi'~h&hoolAdmis8ioTl.$; Why We CCIn't

January 21, 1998

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Wait. Sponsors: U-M Medical School, Pre-Med Club, Black Pre-Med Club, Office of Admissions, Office of New Student Programs "[The speakers] will speak to the need for a diverse physician population to serve a diverse patient population ..." (Or, why we should continue affirmative act.ion in admissions for Med school. ) 17 January. Combating the Radical Right. Sponsors: Free Mumia Coalition, Anti Racist Action "The rise of the far right threatens to roll back gains made by people of color, women, lesbians, and gays. We will discuss what this means for the political climate in the U.S. and effective ways of deterring the growth of the far right." (No comment necessary with regards to bias.) 17 January. SYMPOSIUM LEC~ TURE, JOHN TRUDELL. Sponsors: Native American Student Assn., MLK Symposium PlanningCmte. ".,. [Trudell] came to prominence as a long time activist for Native American rights and freedoms, as the national spokesperson during the In~ dians of All Tribes Occupation of Alcatraz Island in 1969, culminating in the formation of [the] American Indian Movement (AIM) in the 1970s. He was the National Chairman of AIM, 1973-1979 ... culminating in the siege of Pine Ridge, the Occupation of Wounded Knee, the Jumping Bull Incident (two FBI agents, one Native American were killed) ... " (Quite frankly, it's hard to have much sympathy for the leader of a group whose idea of rebellion was taking over minor U.S. government installations for no apparent reason. It is also odd that the program description decries the FBI surveillance of Trudell, given that no one ever seems to mind FBI surveillance of others attempting to do harm to the government.) 19 January. KEYNOTE LECTURER, Dr. CORNEL WEST . Sponsor: MLKSymposiumPlanningCmite. "His work ... seeks to revive the best of liberalism, populism, and democratic socialism ... Alternatively calling himself a 'prophetic pragmatist' and 'prophetic Marxist' in ~ Matters, West heavily criticized middle-class blacks as 'decadent' and urged whites to 'stop ignoring the psychic pain that racism has inflicted on the urban poor' ... Dr. West has collaborated with bell hooks and Tikkun editor Michael Lerner. Dr. W. it' .also hOflO1'alY 'Co~hairof the "

Democratic Socialists of America ..." (Gosh, there's no bias here, now is there? One notes that his work seeks to revive the best of liberalism, populism, and democratic socialism three movements that deserve to stay buried as a lesson to future man.) 19 January. SYMPOSIUM MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY COLLOQUIUM. Sponsors: MLK Symposium Planning Committee, University Relations, Faculty Senate, Career Planning & Placement, Minority Affairs Commission, Office of the Executive Vice President (for what? - BJK), and the Chief Financial Officer. "The Colloquium emphasizes is~ sues related to pro-affirmative action, health care, poverty, education, campus climate, and the lawsuit against the University of Michigan. The facilitator would guide the panelists toward providing information, demystifying assumptions, and finally creating solutions at the Colloquium's conclusion." (THIS is going to provide a balanced look at affirmative action? It doesn't even pretend to be. It's even more embarassmg when we look 3t,.~ some of the participants: Takaki, for example, is author of the very weak and dubious. analytical work Hiroshima; you may recall it from History class. Nancy Cantor, U-M Provost and professional affirmative action apologist; Chuck D (yes), "rap artist and musician, author, and political actiVist" ....;.. that's stretching it a bit. I don't care if he is in Public Enemy. In all, this makes a politically correct hiughingstock out of the MLK Symposium and the University, but then again, that's to be expected when a panel consists offj-Ye academics who have forgotten how things work in the real world, three administrators who blaspheme and profane the ideas of merit, responsibility, and the very ideal of education; two paid lackeys who are compensated to ensure the continuation ofaffirmative action, and Chuck D, who is apparently present because he can put obscenities and various racial slurs to a good beat. They outdid themselves on this one. 20 January. FILM: All Power to the People: The Black Panther Party and Beyond. Sponsor: Revolutionary Anti- Im~ perialist League, Maoist Internationalist Movement "Film shows both the developments of movements aimed to create social equality and the repression these movements faced." (I believe it wesDavi~ Horowitz who. described

the Black Panthers as street thugs.) 20 January. PANEL: Defending Affirmative Action: How to Defeat the Effort to Resegregate Higher Education Sponsor: BAMN (Coalition toD~ fend Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary) "This panel will present a perspective for defeating the effort to resegregate higher education and for building a new militant integrated civil rights movement that can eliminate racist segregation and inequal~ ity that exists in American society. Features Shanta Driver, a national organizer for BAMN and formermem~ ber of the Black Panther Party; and Heather Bergman, California BAMN organizer at Berkeley." BAMN is once again underfoot, and the University is at the very least appearing to give them sanction to bring in militants, former Black Panthers, and mindless students from other universities. One wonders how much funding was given to BAMN to put this charade on; however, it is prima facie evidence that the University is directly supporting pro-affirmative action student groups on campus. 23 January. Big Black: Lessons from Attica and Current Prisoner Struggles Sponsors: Revolutionary AntiImperialist League, Maoist International Movement Only at Michigan would the Administration consent to having a former leader of the 1971 Attica prison rebellion come to speak to students. "He will speak on contemporary struggles forracialjustice and social equality," but no word yet as to whether this involves wreaking havoc. So there you have it! A glorious and wonderful presentation of the events compromising the 11th Annual Martin Luther King Day Sym~ posium. Nowthatthe University has finished blaspheming his message, I'm sure they'll soon begin work on the 12th Symposium. Of course, the thought police at the University will be unable to capture the attention of most, excluding the most die-hard of Daily editorialists and campus radicals; the rest of us will be enjoying our deserved three-day weekend. Until the University gets its act together with this program, it will continue to be looked upon as a long weekend by the vast majority of students. Mt. Comments? Complaints? MREV@umich.edu

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Unabomber~'Survivor BY LEE BOCKHORN

T IS NOT OFTEN THE CASE that you read a book, find it to be vastly different from what you expect, yet nevertheless enjoy it. One of these rare experiences is found in David Gelernter's Drawing Life: Surviving the Unabomber. Gelernter, a computer science professor at Yale, ostensibly wrote the book to chronicle

Drawing Life: Surviving the Unabomber by David Gelemter The Free Press, $21.00

his experiences after receiving a mail bomb from the infamous Unabomber in 1993. While Gelernter does provide a compelling account of his physical troubles, his book is reaIly about one man's struggle to reassemble his shattered soul, and about his attempt to understand why he was the target of such a cowardly act of malice. Gelernter provides an interesting narrative about his injuries and recovery; there is an element of suspense to the whole thing - whether

he will ever be able to paint or play ball with his boys again, for instance - as well as good humor. What makes this memoir engaging, though, are the author's musings on his experience with the media after the bombing, as well as his analysis of other aspects of American society, including popular culture and contemporary cultural values. Gelernter pulls no punches in expressing his loathing for the media, decrying a field which described the Unabomber as a "mad genius," but never as evil. He also recounts with scorn his experiences with journalists intent on making him wallow in his victimhood, eager to make him the latest icon in the victim culture. Another target in Gelernter's crosshairs is the sorry state of current writing, especially amongjournaIists, and his book demonstrates that he can comment on the subject with authority. Drawing Life is a brisk read; even in the midst of trying to contemplate Gelernter's serious arguments, one's attention is wafted from page to page by bits of wit and many shimmeringexamples of fine writing, such

Tells All

as the author's summation ofthe kindcutthroats." Eventually, Gelernter ness demonstrated by his students draws a metaphor between himself and colleagues in reassembling the and the nation, suggesting that the contents of his office: "If you insert things which helped him recover into this weird slot machine of modfamily, religion, community, the arts, ern life one evil act, a thousand acts of and a stubborn refusal to caIl himself kindness come tumbling out." a "victim" - might be just what the Gelernter covers a wide range of country needs, too. topics in this book, from the aforeSome may approach this book exmentioned problems of the media, to pecting a tale of horror and agonized the perils of feminism, modern art, recovery, and may be disappointed to the debasement of learning in our instead get an apparent sermon by universities, and, of course, computer Mr. Gelernter on a variety of contemtechnology. However, lest one begin porary issues. However, the book is a reminder that often a life-shattering to think that Gelernter is simply preaching, he relates his criticism of event such as that suffered by the contemporary culture to his attack author gives a person unusual clarity and the media's reaction to it. He and insight into the triumphs and' accurately claims that the overriding foibles of human nature; and further, importance assigned by intellectuals when the Unabomber made Gelernter one of his victims, he happened to to "tolerance" and victimhood has blunted the once-sharp edge of one of attack an extremely thoughtful and society's greatest tools: the ability to articulate person. Gelemter, fortube judgmental. Reflecting on the abnately, lived on to provide us with this surdities of the media's depiction of memoir, and he has done us a service by resisting the temptation to play Ted Kaczynski (one of People's "most fascinating people of 1996"), he dethe victim and instead focusing on what larger lessons can be drawn clares that "a society too squeamish to call evil by its right name has defrom his experience for our whole stroyed its first, best defense against -'Âˇ~~~ation. l\R

A Return to the Fairy Tale BY KRISTINA CURKOVIC

NCE UPON A TIME WE all read fairy tales, those ancient stories that represent ressons and beliefs, dreams and wishes; we became familiar with the ancient motifs that are used over and over in stories, so that

The Ojinn in the Nightingale's Eye: Five Fairy Stories by A.S. Byatt Random House, $20.00 we instinctively know how a story "should" go. A.S. Byatt, whose previous works include Possession and Angels and I nseets, attempts to recreate some ofthose stories for a modern audience through five short fairy tales that are both contemporary and otherworldly in The Djinn in the Nightingale's Eye. The first four tales are part of the latter category, filled with old women in dark forests, paIaces and princesses, magic spells and dragons. Yet, while the tales are often flights of fancy, each has a touch of the academic rhetoric and self-reflection color the text and its characters. In "The Story ofthe Eldest Princess," the title char-

acter starts off on her trek to save her kingdom and considers the fate ofthe adventuring eldest princes and princesses in fairy taIes. "She thought she would not like to waste seven years of her brieflife as a statue or prisoner if it could be avoided." And so the princess spends the rest ofthe story carefully making choices based on what she knows of fairy tales. Such self-reflexivity is refreshing, although not necessarily inventive - recent "politicaIly correct" fairy tales aIso recreated the idea of the fairy taIe in a funny, flippant way. However, Byatt's heroes and heroines are mostly humorless, deaIing with their' situations very levelheadedly and seriously, where passion and humor would have filled in the predictable, empty spots. On the other hand, Byatt's taIes are beautifully constructed with pretty images and delicate, feminine language. In describing a magical moment in the most fairy-like of the tales, "The Glass Coffin," Byatt's little tailor uses a magic key to open a coffin, and "as the key slipped into the keyhole and melted, as it seemed into the glass body of the casket ... in a very orderly way, and with a strange bell-tinkling, the coffin broke into a collection oflong icicle splinters, that ~

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range and vanished as they touched the earth." The book is filled with suchdescriptiveandlyricallanguage, creating a true feeling oflands oflittle beings and magical happenings. The entire book is a successful adventure back into the traditional reaIm of the fairy tale, aside from occasionaI missteps in certain stories. "Dragon's Breath" is the book's darkest tale, and its unusual construction and less-than-happy ending contrast with those of the others in the book. This story was written, however, for a specific audience at a charity event.for the war in Bosnia, where fairy tales are hard-pressed for happy endings and genies flee for unbroken bottles. "Gode's Story" has a touch of the ancient in it, and is a curious look into another dark world ofundying love and lost dreams. While Byatt's tendency is toward a reconstruction ofthe fairytaIe, most of her success lies not in ingenuity, but in, like all fairy taIes, a basically good story. We find just that in the finaI tale, which is the basis ofthe book's title and is the book's finest creative piece. It is the modern-day story of Dr. Gillian Perholt, an English narratologist who has recently separated from her husband. In Turkey ,

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during a conference, Gillian comes across a beautiful glass bottle, called a nightingale's eye, and upon washing it a djinn - a maIe genie appears and grants Gillian the customary three wishes. Byatt demonstrates ,her skill,as she did in her Booker Prize-Winning Possession, in overlapping narratives and tying them together coherently and creatively. The djinn's amazingly told story becomes important in Gillian's careful choice of wishes, aIong with stories from Gillian's own past and, lik~ the Eldest Princess, her vast and knowledge of stories. "Djinn" follows Gillian through her three choices and heruniquerelationshipwiththedjinn, who himselfis a fascinating, and very sexuaI character, a product ofByatt's descriptive ability and her own background in stories and storytellin.. One of the factors that makes The Djinn such a unique collection offairy tales is Byatt's ability to reflect back on the fairy tale while creating the fairy tale itself. While it may dilute some ofthe magic ofthe unknown, the self-reflexive nature of these stories creates ,a new and successful way of looking at an ancient and popular art form.l\R

Music

1997: Not ASokBad As You Think BY CHRIS HAYES

year at this time, I was fighting for a list of five albUms that I listened to regularly that I could write about. I am glad to say that this year I had a healthy list of albums and artists just dying to make it in my article that is no doubt close to musical divinity. Coming to mind first is the incredible and overwhelming dominance of English bands who released incredibly strong albums. Oasis, by far the most popular band from across the Atlantic, released their third album, Be Here Now, in late August. It was conveniently in time for all the frat boys to find the next "Wonder Wall" to play for their flavor ofthe month. If you haven't found it yet, its "Don't Go Away," is a beautifully composed ballad from the string arrangement and guitar rifs all the way to Liam's vocals, which may be the best he has sung on tape. However, Be Here Now was an overall disappointment, both musically and in record sales. Beyond a few solid songs, including the driving 'opening track "Dryou Know What I Mean?" and the swanky "The Girl In the Dirty Shirt," Oasis' third album lacked the progression in song writing that shined through on Morning Glory. Be Here Now sounds more like a group of Bsides from their first two albums than a third album. Official Disclaimer: Although [just dissed this record, it is

T THE END OF EVERY year, or on January 21 in this case, music critics around the world aaempt to convince you whether the pa:-;t year was "a good year in music" or not. Well, I wrestled with my conscious about trying to brainwash you with the generic "this was good" and "this was bad ." For your informrtion, the brainwashing side won. So take a seat and listen as I att( mp ~ to twist my opinion into facts tha t you will believe as true and force you to think as I think. Last week, I read an article in a local nE;wspaper in which the author expressed his displeasure with 1997 from a musical standpoint. He continued to point out that he found now breakthrough in rock and roll, and otherwise called the year boring. Sure, there were many disappointing points and usual piles of crap to hit the radio

e Music Year in Review: featured artists in· lude Oasis, Blur, Catherine Wheel, Janet ackson, and The Verve.

and record stores, but I have to disagree (mostly because I disagree, but . a little bit because I hate agreeing with people). To label the entire year as a disappointment is a bold statement. Last

The stranger Janet gets, the better her music.

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The Verve gets a taste of mainstream success.

still better than 95 percent of the work for a cover. Well done, Catherine records I listened to this year. Wheel. Now that the disappointment has The album that has been getting been cleared out of my mind" I cafi" ~ a huge amount of hype and press focus on the other albums from the since its release is The Verve's Urban Brits that did rock hard. If you have Hymns. The release of the single "Bitter Sweet Symphony" launched ever picked up a British music mag, you came across an installment of the them into super-stardom, along with a deal with Nike for the use of the Oasis and Blur tiff that has gone on for years like some lame ass soap song in a frequently-run commercial. opera. In 1997, (in soap opera analNow with that sort of press behind them, The Verve may finally get the ogy) Blur had a steamy love affair with Oasis' sister without getting acknowledgment they have deserved caught. What I love so much about . for the past few years. Urban Hymns Blur's success is that they made a hit is saturated with the best written out of a song that is not traditional songs of the year. Richard Ashcroft "single material." "Song 2" is less than has an amazing talent to stir up emotwo minutes of pure noise that sometion from each song on the album. They scream with perfection on every how hit the radios and then gained a well-sized folloWing. Blur struck the listen. The Verve is here to stay. Equally impressive are all three diversity chord on their self-titled bands' ability to put on electrifying album, playing with distortion and vocal reverb in a way that was a live performances. The band's vocal· ists spill an immeasurable exciterefreshing break from the same old ment and energy into the audience. If Brit Rock that seems to flood the you missed any of the three, you market every year. Each song is well screwed yourself. Hint: The Verve is written and ingeniously produced in coming back in the spring. Don't be a a very daring and unsafe manner that makes me love it even more. fool - buy a ticket. Two other albums that will enRadio Head proved they are the most innovative band on the scene. dure for years to come are Catherine OK Computer blasted away almost Wheel's Adam and Eve and The every other so called "innovative and Verve's Urban Hymns. Adam and Eve is Catherine Wheel's attempt at groundbreaking" album. They making a whole and cohesive project that flows from beginning to end like a classic book, with memorable and CONTINUED on page 15 amazing parts, but without losing its sense of wholeness. On a side note, it wins the prize for probably the most clever and beautifully original art

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It's Fallen ' And It 'C'a n't Get Up BY

MArr BucKLEY

YPICALLY, I HAVE NO problem with horror mo\;es with a theological twist. If a mOvie can juggle a pseudo-intellectual th{;me with decent plot and good characters, then more power to it. However, the problem with movies tha t successfully pull the feat off, such as Seven. is that they lead to films tha .; ca:l't. Witness Fallen. John Hobbes (Denzel Washingten ; is [. smart cop who bristles at the sljg hLc~ t hint of corruption. With the aid of his longtime partner, Jonesy (John Goodman), he has sttccessfully captured Edgar Reese (Elias Koteas), a vicious serial killer ,vith a penchant for ea ting corn flakes after murdering his victims with a special poison. The film opens with a pre-execution meeting of Hobbes and Reese, and amidst some verbal sparring in English, Reese slips into some foreign tongue, babbles some incoherent phrases, and then gets set to meet his maker. Of course, Reese's death isn't really death, since we get harsh ambertoned shots ofsomething that emerges

MUSIC 1997 Continued from page 14

achieved critieal acclaim and even wide commercial success (rarely do both happen simultaneously). The subtleties and strangeness ofOK Computer is surprisingly beautiful and masteri'ully executed; It is an experiment that actually went right. I venture back to the United Sta ~es, giving up my commentary on the Spice Girls due to lack of room. (Minus the Pepsi commercial, they have ncthing going for them). While I have n;entioned rock and roll thus far, I will continue the trend with SeE ly's release Seconds . I didn't mention this album earlier in the year because it has just recently became one of my favorites, along with Yo La Tengo's I Can Hear the Heart Beat路 ing as One. These are as good as it gets in the U.S. Killer male and female h ,:m nonies and solid rhythms and melodies. These two bands set the standard for in die rock this year. Speaking of indie rock, check out the gre-und broken by Ben Folds Five. Not long ago they were chillin' on Caroline; now they have a major

from Reese's corpse and flows into the body of a nearby prison guard. Hence begins the second incarnation of the demon Azazel, a fallen angel of sorts. Unable to have a body of his own, the demon must live in the bodies of others. This problem is somewhat rectified , however, by the fact that the wicked thing can shift from body to body by touch (though, for some unexplained reason, Hobbes is distinctly immune to this). At this point, Azazel begins to exnctarevengeofsortsonHobbes. As Hobbes tries to understand what he is facing, and then to capture the creature itself, Azazel begins setting traps for the morally upright Hobbes. In several engaging scenes, Hobbes stares in disbelief as person after person taunts him with ReeselAzazel's signature tune "Time is On My Side," by the Rolling Stones. Now, if a movie is going to try and have some intellectual premise and speculate on theological motives, it shouldn't insult the viewer at the same time. Fallen's screenwriters go to great lengths to insure that we are catching on to what Hobbes sees, par-

ticularly through an annoying narraa previous victim of Azazel. Al3 other tion which dispenses brilliant obsercops in Hobbes' precinct, Donald vations for the audience. Sutherland and James Gandolfmi are And then there are the scenes interesting, though I swear that simply defy credibility, even Sutherland plays the exact same ch~rstretching the limits of credibility to acter in every single movie in which he acts. accommodate the genre. My partieular favorite is when Hobbes, trying to And even though the script is evade several pursuers on a bus, stops pretty raggedy, some scenes work reto ask a nun what apocalypse means. ally well. Watching Azazel chase Yes, apocalypse may be Greek for Davidtz's character down a crowded revelation, but let me suggest that city street is one of the more interestnobody, nun or not, will give you that ing premises for an action shot that I answer straight off the bat. Maybe I have seen recently. The last fifteen am. simply being anal-retentive, but minutes of the movie features several moments like that remind one of the surprising twists, even though they comie-book coincidences of James don't quite make up for the inanity of Bond movies. the previous ninety minutes. While screenwriter Nicholas Perhaps the problem is that the Kazan should perhaps be flogged, the film desperately tries to imitate Seven cast is generally quite good. Washwhile trying to be original. The probington, always fun to watch, fills lem, at least in my opinion, is that Hobbes with a moral eagerness that Seven was a pretty good flick. so invitis crucial to the bulk of the story. ing a comparison is a dangerous Goodman is enjoyable as Hobbes' partgamble. It even hurts the film's good ner; I wished that he had been used aspects: I found myself at several more. Embeth Davidtz (Murder in points comparing Washington and the First, Army ofDarkness) is pretty Goodman to Morgan Freeman. and weightless in her role as a (surprise!) .... .Brad Pitt. In this film, with this theology professor whose father was script, they just don't match up. l\R

hit ("Brick") and a major following since their jump to Sony. No one can call rock boring when a band made up of a pianist, a baSsist, aDd a drummer are making it big. These guys are coming back in February to Clutch Cargo's. Check them out if you have been lazy and haven't seen them. Switching the gears, there are a number of releases that deserve considerable recognition and acclaim. First off, Janet Jackson used her smarts and talent with the release of The Velvet Rope. It ventures off into trip-hop with the title track and "Got Til' It's Gone," into heavy rock on "What About," and classic Janet on tunes like "Special" and "Go Deep." The Velvet Rope shows Janet's true . ability to write and produce an amazing album and that she is not just a pretty face. Hip-hop had a sad moment with the death of Biggie Smalls and an even sadder moment with Puff Daddy cashing in on all the attention it received. B.LG. was a gifted rapper. Puff Daddy is far, far, from that. If Sting knew the first thing about hiphop, he would have thought twice before singing a duet with him on the MTV Video Awards. Wyclef Jean of the Fugees re-

leaSed tliemost ongmaI and (fiverse hip-hop album this past year. The Carnival combines tradition hip-hop beats with a wide range of musical styles, from Caribbean to classical. Wyclef also mixes up with a hint of reggae and a ballad featuring the Nevil Brothers. Musically, Wyclef succeeded, but those damn skits inbetween the songs have to go. After rattling off these few albums, I cannot agree that the year was a total loss, or even boring. There are always going to be Third Eye Blind's (opening for the Stones! What was up with that?) and Match Box 20's trying to sink the ship, but when artists of real quality and talent release albums, there will always be enough good stuff to say about the past year in music. Mt

he Review Arts - Not Your Average Arts Pages. Do you like voicing your opinion on movies, books, music, and campus arts? Are you a writer who thinks and writes critically and who can move beyond the "this sucks" mentality? If you fit any of these descriptions, listen up. The Review

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Change Campus Join the Review. The Michigan Review is the award winning, independent, student run journal of ca:mpus opinion at the University of Michigan. We strive to present the University co:m1llunity with balanced news coverage, sharp and pointed editorial comm.entary, witty satire, and high quality sports, arts, and :music coverage. The Review is looking for interested staff writers, beat reporters, advertising sales staff, and future editors and leaders. No experience is necessary and regardless of whether you're a fresh:man or a fifth -year senior, we'd love to have you with us. Just stop by one of our weekly staff nleetings, every Tuesday at 7, in our office on the third floor of The Michigan League. If you have any questions or would like :more infor:mation, please contact us at .647-8438, or give us ane-1llail at .nlreV@UDlich.edu~

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