vol_16_no_7 by Michigan Review

" '~\

~i!~/!1i_'limml

tro;

SKE RS U...~-~ U-M "Greatest Offender" in Using Race Bias in Admissions BY BENJAMIN KEPPLE

HE UNIVERSITY OF Michigan (U-M) is "by far the greatest offender" among Michigan's public colleges and universities when it comes to using racial preferences, says a report recently released by the Center for Equal Opportunity (CEO), a Washington D.C. public policy think-tank. In addition, only the. U-M at Ann Arbor would experience a significant decline in black enrollment if the University was to admit students on a colorblind basis, the report stated. The study "shows race is not just one factor out of many, but a major force in deciding who gets in the University ofMichigan ," according to John J. Miller, vice president ofCEO. "There is a double standard at U-M." However, University officials continue to stand by their claim that their admissions policy is legal and acceptable. "The University of Michigan will continue to use race as a factor in making admissions decisions as long as it is lawful to do so, and has no intention of changing this policy," according to a press release issued by the Office of University Relations. And Nancy Cantor, University Provost and Executive Vice President for Academic Affairs, stated that "we evaluate each student's application using a broad set of factors ... we make human judgments and these judgments cannot be made simply by look.ing at test scores and grade point averages ." But the legality ofthe University's admissions is being questioned. A lawsuit filed on behalf of Patrick

INSIDE! • Review readers strike back with letters, e-mails, flaming arrows, and pitchforks . See page 3. • Editor-in-Chief Benjamin Kepple presents another addition of Lost In The Eighties TM and it's a surprise. ;

· ' ·,..!I · . · ";\ .·. . ~

Hammacher and Jennifer Gratz, two white applicants denied admission to the University, by the Center for Individual Rights (CIR) is working its way through the legal system. In addition, the recent scrapping of affirmative action in California and the Hopwood v. University of Texas Law School case (which ended affirmative action in the jurisdiction of the national Fifth District Court) are still quite prevalent in the minds of University administrators. The University makes no secret about using racial preferences in its admissions policies - and according to the CEO study, there is a great deal of preference given. WHAT THE NUMBERS SHOW "Schools routinely reject white and Asian students with higher test scores than black and Hispanic students who are admitted . These rejected students, however, usually have lower GPAs than black and Hispanic students who are admitted. Despite this, the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor refused admission in 1995 to hundreds of white and Asian stu-

The Data Whites

Asians Median ACT score Median GPA Median SAT score (Verbal) Median SAT score (Math) Admissions Rate (percent) .

Source: CEO report (1995 IJ-,M admissions data)

dents who had both higher tests cores and GPAs than the black admittee median," according to the CEO report. In fact, 613 students (564 whites and 49 Asians) were rejected by the U-M in 1995 despite having higher ACT scores and GPAs than the black admittee median. 266 students were rejected despite having higher SAT

U-M Admissions Rate ('Yo) Six Year Graduation Rate (%)

Whites

23 25 3.4 3.3 520 480 600 540 91 82

29 29 3.7 . 3.7 590 580 710 670 73 74

Do Race Preferences Really Help? Asians

Blacks

Hispanics

Blacks

Hispanics

scores and GP As than the black admittee median. "In various individual instances, these differences in qualifications were astoundingly large. 49 of these individuals had ACT scores greater than 29, 77 had combined SATs greater than 1200, and most amazing of all, 4 had SATs greater than 1400," according to the report. Among students admitted to the University in 1995, white and Asian students performed better on the SAT, ACT,andhadhigherhighschoolGPAs than their black and Hispanic counterparts (see chart). The report also suggests that the use of these racial preferences in admissions is a major factor in the lower graduation rates of black and Hispanic students. Please see RACIAL PREFERENCES on Page 6

Source: CEO; based on U-M freshman classes 1987-1990

• Managing Editor Lee Bockhorn is a pilgrim in a strange land as he goes searching for God at th~ University. See page 8. • Computer consultant Ben Rousch discovers (surprise, surprise) that the University is' ripping students off at the Computer Showcase. See page 9. • Managing Editor C.J. Carnacchio examines states' rights and federal

, ·. : , ' . r . ~.~.~

", "

', "

., ..' ~

- ---=;:;;.....;:..

:"'~;,..,;.:.~:.;~= ::~.';::"~,.,;;.... .

wrongs . See page 11. • Contributing Editor Matthew Buckley examines the latest scandal to come out of the White House: Interngate. See page 12. • Staff Writer Andrew Golding takes a look at the odyssey of Michigan basketball. See page 16.

takes us to a place where bell bottoms and the A-Team are cool again: RetroHell. See page 17.

• Music Editor Chris Hayes endeavors to show us tone-deaf commoners some decent new albums. So it is written, so it shall be done. See page 18.

• Staff Writer Amy Majerowicz

,.•_" .., .• ,., .....:.""'.•= ;...;".

........... _.~ .. ...

,."''''"~.,.;;,:;;~ ...;~,

;. "

; . 'i

•

~ -- ---,;;;;;;~;;.;.;~;>:.:.,.;;~w.; .,:.;o;.;.~;;;.:~;:,;: ·n

""",~",,,,

" .. - ..•. _ ..• "._"

"_m~

.... n'".__ .. __ .~

.~·.

..2"-.-

-, --- ----'-'- ,- - -- ,., '---- ---' . -THE'YfcHIGANREviiw

-.,-_

....

February 11, 1998 TilE l\Ilt'IIl< ;.\:'\ HEYIE\\'

o SERPENT'S TOOTH .'

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan

.~ ,.,.

"SeIVing The vast Riglt Wing Conspiracy since 19821' EOITORIAL BOARP

A classic repeat from Sept. 5, 1991: if you're tired of playing volleyball or jogging, why not play some affirmative action chess? It's easy! Black moves first, then white can't move, and then black pawns can be promoted no matter what. We couldn't help but notice that in three days during the Daily's transition week a full five articles were somehow cut off unexpec

ATIENTION DAILY NEWS EDITORS! NEWS DOES NOT STOP HAPPENING SIMPLY BECAUSE THE STAFF TURNS OVER ONCE A YEAR. More jokes out of Washington: Why does President Clinton wear flannel boxer shorts? To keep his ankles warm. In his continuing effort to revamp the University's Administration, President Bollinger has replaced Vice President for Student Affairs Maureen Hartford with none other than ace private detective Shaft, saying quote, "he's a complicated man, and a bad motherf*****!" Considering the caliber of this year's Daily columnists (you know who you are), we would just like to say that we really miss Kate Hutchins and Jean Twenge. When asked recently about his famous "mop" hairstyle, President Bollinger confided that he still dreams about touring with The Monkees someday - at which point he broke out in a spirited rendition of "Daydream Believer." While President Clinton denied on the record that he had an affair with Monica Lewinsky, off the record he told reporters, "Oh, I shagged her all right. I shagged her rotten! Yeah, baby, yeah!" . While we had trouble understanding the incoherent tripe found in Daily columnist Joshua Rich's recent rant regarding Ronald Reagan, we do believe that next to Washington D.C. mayor Marion Barry, Rich is the second most compelling reason to abolish home rule in the nation's capital.

Speaking of Marion Barry, Serpent's Tooth has learned that he is starting a magazine - Crack Afficianado with the proceeds going to reduce D.C.'s budget deficit. In another Administration shake-up, University Housing Director William Zoeller has been replaced by the Devil himself. President Lee Bollinger said that "the hiring of Mr. Beelzebub should better serve the needs of the student population currently living in Housing." Mr. Beelzebub will be paid in human souls culled from completed Code trials. Housing Public Relations Director Alan Levy allegedly said, "Finally, someone I can actually work with!" In recent Housing news, the Department has stated that upperclassmen unable to receive a spot in existing traditional housing will soon have alternate living accomodations thanks to the Whirlpool Company's generous donation of 500 empty cardboard refrigerator boxes. However, early reports show the cardboard boxes are more comfortable than many converted triples. Asked for drawbacks to the new policy, new director of Housing Mr. Beelzebub said, "Well, let's hope it doesn't rain!" Serpent's Tooth would like to remind those mentioned in this week's edition that as always, this is satire. We can't be sued. The University Administration has recently hired a new student group to take a look at affirmative action policies around campus. "Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil" will begin making the rounds early next week, offering you loaded questionnaires and biased fact sheets. Responding to continuing criticism of the Greek system, sorority representatives stated that unlike everything else, they're "not going to take this lying down ..." According to a University study's findings on the salary structure of science GSI's, if they were to be paid what their services are truly worth to University students, they would in fact owe the University a grand total of $1.2 million per year. In accordance with the University's environmental theme semester, Serpent's Tooth has learned that Unjvers~tY.·1'ransportatiQn js replac-

Benjamin Kepple Sang Lee Lee Backhom C. J. Camacchio Kristina Curkovic

EOITOR-IN-CHIEF: ASSOCIATE PUBUSHER: MANAGING EDITOR: MANAGING EDITOR: ARTS EDITOR:

ing the bus system with horse drawn carriages. Responding to severe criticism from North Campus students, Transportation officials said for the "little bastards to shut up. Shoveling horse manure builds character."

EPITORIAL STAFF MUSIC EDITOR: .SPORTS EOITOR: !CONTRIBUTING EDITOR: 'IUUSTRATOR: COMPUTER CONSULTANT:

Mentioned in TIME as "Feud of the Week:" Well ... interesting South Park character Mr. Hankey Poo - best described as a talking pile of ... ah ... excrement, has caused a lawsuit. The creators of the original gross television cartoon show, Ren and Stimpy, have sued South Park , claiming that they came up with the idea of a talkingpiece of crap first. If there is ajury trial on this one, it may be a sure sign that the Republic is doomed. Lawyers for Ren and Stimpy were quoted as saying, "We're going to flush Mr. Hankey Poo!" Johnnie Cochran, upon examining South Park's defense, said "if it isn't s***, you must acquit," which may be a prime sign that the editors have been writing Serpent's for too long a stretch today.

Chris Hayes Rob Wood Matthew Buckley Astrid Phillips Ben Rousch

STAFF WRITERS: Nate Boven, Craig Garthwaite, Andrew Golding, Doug Hillhouse, Amy Majerowicz, Jacob Osllcl(, Maureen Sirhal. BUSINESS STAFF: Matt Fogarty, Scheme Johnson FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT: Tom Jolliffe (Madrid)

EDITOR EMERITUS:

Geoff Brown

The Michigan Review is the independent, studenHun journal of conservative and libertarian opiniofl at the University of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept monetary donations from the U-M. Contributions to the Michigan Review are tax-deductible under Section 501 (c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code. The Review is not affiliated with any political party or univerSity political group_

1~d. Er~, they

Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial are unequlvocably correct and ju~t. Signed artides, letters, and cartoons represent the opin· .~,". Ions of the author and not necessarily those of the Review. And then at the Wmter Games· u1 The opinions presented In this publication are not necesNagano ... oh, never mind. Like you lsarily those of the advertisers Of of the University of care about curling anyway... ~~ letters, articles, and comments •

•

University officials have organized a SpeciaJ thanks to Eric Maiamey and Dave Guernsey, the search party for the missing MichiEditor's Unofficial Sounding Board (and creators of the infamous DAMN Serpent we ran). However, they had gan Student Assembly, which disapnothing to do with this issue, which was the brainchild of the peared late last week to go on a "factstrange voices coming out of the microphone planted near finding mission." Not that any of us . the ftourescent light DPS apparently enjoyed it when we noticed anyway. found the mike and subjected it to a 200 watt blast of Say You'll Be There by the Spice Gb1s for 13 continuous hours, using the infamous Noriega In Embassy Tactic. In other news, Paul SeriIa's columns are very popular in Mexico, where they are ground up and turned into a paste in place of anasthesia during major surgical operations. (Thanks Weekly Standardl) Please address all advertising and subscription jnquiles to: Publisher c/o the Michigan Review.

How soon will it be before President Clinton wags the dog? How many times do you have to read a Paul Serilla column to find the point? The world may never know.

Editorial And Business OffIces: 911 N. University Avenue, SUita One Ann Arbor,"1 48109-1265 EMAIL: IIREVOumlch.edu URL: http://www.umlch.eduI~mrev/ Tel. (313) 647-8438 Fax (313) 936-2505

Speaking of, "given enough time with a typewriter, a monkey will eventually write Hamlet." In that case, how long will it take Daily columnist Paul Serilla to write something coherent?

CopyItghI 0 1-. by lilt IIIdIIgIn 1Ift\ew, Inc. AlI1gIQ"'"

lilt 1IIcIIIfM1IMew" • .....,. cllIIt CoIegIIIe *"-IL

Lest we be accused of truly going overboard on Daily bashing, we were actually somewhat pleased to read James Miller's recent column regarding BAMN. Miller, the only Daily columnist not to be slammed in the annals of the Review in God knows how long, wrote a seemingly fair and even handed column. James, now you know why_ You make our job all that much harder, and we respect that.

-. --..

,,-.-,--

The Michigan Review Letters to the Editor 911 N. University Ave. Suite One Ann Arbor, MI48109 or email with subject "Letters to the Editor": mrev@umich.edu

The University of Michigan: The a la carte University: "Oh you want that, that's extra!"

----

--,.•.

-~- -

THE MicHIGA.N REviEw

Feoruary 11, 1998 SERPENTS

TOOTH EXTRA

ATTENTION STUDENTS! ,;,',

!;(

' I!if..r

1P'

The University of Michigan has hired AN All NEW student panel to discuss Affirmative Action and Racial Preferences at U-M

o LEITERS TO THE EDITOR Kepple: Bastion of Hate, Ignorance

GUESS I KNEW WHAT TO anticipate when I picked up the Review, but I still cringed while I read Benjamin Kepple's "Worst of Winter 1998." You claim to be the torch bearers of "balanced news coverage" as well as "sharp and pointed editorial commentary" and "sharp wit," but Mr. Kepple's comments were obviously not researched, weakening the argument significantly, and therefore resulted in something extremely offensive and unfunny. OK, so you might say that I would be biased for not being a conservative, but even by any conservative standard, this isjournalism at its absolute worst. How can he claim that sociology, women's studies, American culture and African-American studies are "not real academic majors?" Does he think that people within those disciplines just sit around laughing about the obsolescence of the White AngloSaxon Protestant male without any "real" academic discourse? Come on, give me a break. That simply is not true; it is the most insane stereotypical image of a liberal arts scholar that anyone without a brain can come up with. I would make a serious bet that he has never even taken any of those courses within the concentrations in question. How can he claim to be a valid critic without ever being in contact with any of those subjects on a substantial basis? Don't just make judgment calls by merely flipping through the LSA course guide; go

talk to those professors and see what the courses are really about. In spite ofwhat Mr . Kepple's gross misconceptions may be, liberal arts courses are NOT about extreme leftist, "kill the white pig" radicalism. Many of the classes that he singles out strive not for "indoctrination" into the far Left, but instead, a holistic balance of all angles is what is ultimately strived for. Is that not what academia has been all about in the first place? Many academic persuasions call for an economic (which Mr. Kepple seems to be all for) as well as a sociological and an ecological argument, which, despite what he may believe, cannot be dismissed. We cannot just look at how the building of a factory in Flint is going to boost the economy in the short term without looking at the public health effects from the decreased air quality, and the resulting fall of property values leading to a plethora of other socioeconomic ills; without an interdisciplinary approach, we may never figure out that the costs may very well outweigh the benefits. Despite his comments, The Cosby Show is not the only valid television show featuring African-Americans out there. Remember: not all families are upper middle class, and television programming has to address other demographic niches as well. Rich suburbanites living in the continental United States, like you and I, are not the only ones outthere,m

today's society. Which is why African-American courses as well as other sociology and anthropology courses are necessary in today's academic landscape. Also keep in mind that the role of a women's studies course is not to indoctrinate people into believing that all men are evil. I can vouch for J)le. fact that my women and the law class was the epitome of respectable academic discourse; during discussion sections classmates debated the abortion issue from both angles, with each being respectful toward the other. However, to believe that "capitalism, racism, imperialism, and heterosexism" have had no effect on the historically inferior status of women ignores history, and is purely delusional. Mr. Kepple may be uncomfortable with this, but if he is talking about truly wanting to be educated, those facts cannot be ignored. We all know that men are not implicitly evil, and it would be kind of stupid to believe so, but we have to keep in mind that our historical precedent is not exactly something we want to experience again, either. Also, as a member of the MSA Environmental Theme Semester team, I resent the fact that he can, without any investigation, complain that the semester is "another useless, politically correct, no-account sham." Obviously, no research efforts were put into this article. Unlike what he claims, environmentalism is not about "enviro-Nazi" doomsday talk mandating a return to pre-capitalism. Sustain ability is about working within the preexisting system to allow for a sustained (hence the word) level of prosperity and social justice well into the future, not just in the short term for Fortune 500 company CEOs, < through tF-ealistie' poli'Cy

"3 changes that would maximize social benetit. Environmentalists do not just talk about how things are messed up, but we tend to take proactive measures that are not just a matter of liberal academic snobbery, but have real world significance as well. I also want to stress the fact that despite his limited grasp of history, the citizens of the Allied nations are not the only World War II victims: the tens of thousands of Japanese who died during the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were civilians. Please do not ever forget that. As a Japanese national (yeah, I'm an immigrant. Scary, eh? Remember, we're all immigrants), I was truly offended by that nonchalant comment made in one of the paragraphs. It is not just a PC thing: to say that the victims of Japan and the tragedy of Nicaragua are unimportant is ignorance at its worst. Dismissing the comments as editorial wit is a joke. Without an interdisciplinary approach to things, we cannot claim to be real scholars. It is unfortunate that Mr. Kepple believes that traditional classes such as history and English are of significance; limiting the scope of academia is what I would think of as indoctrination into the realm of ignorance. REIKOANno

SNRE SENIOR Mr. Kepple responds: It should be noted that my column is an opinion piece, and not simply hard news, which is what we endeavor to do on the front page and in much of the campus affairs section of the paper. With that caveat, nowhere in my column do I ever defame the liberal arts. As a liberal arts major myself, I do not condemn the usefulness ofHistory, English, Political Science, etc. However, I do condemn the psuidointellectual garbage that spews out of such so-called disciplines as Women's Studies thinly disguised as scholarship. Furthermore, I do not consider Women Studies, American Culture, etc. to be true liberal arts, but rather degenerate areas of study that have long since lost any modicum ofprofessionalism or true scholarship. Furthermore, nowhere do I state that The Cosby Show is the only decent show portraying blacks. I denote The Cosby Show -along with All in the Family, I might add - as good television, opposed to Keenan and American Bandstand - hideous television. Surely a serious student would take a course different than this ifthey wanted to discuss race or ethnicity. I also, for that matter, am surprised at the assumption that just because I am conservative, I happen to Continued on Page 17

February 11, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o FROM SUITE ONE U-M Scorns Real Iss,t les

' t'\\~}y"ff"---"'~ , ~<f"$.slDe"~'

NATIONAL DIALOGUE RACE

UPPORTERS OF AFFIRMATIVE ACTION AND THE REQUISITE ON racial preference programs that go with it have been very uncomfortable talking about the results of the recent report issued by the Center for Equal Opportunity (CEO) that rightfully skewers the University for its blatant and unconstitutional racial preferences program. For the report says a lot of things the University does not like to hear: incontrovertible statistical evidence, from the very computers and documents ofthe University, that racial preferences play an incredible role in admissions to this fine institution. The University and affirmative action supporters do not want to hear about the performance gaps on standardized tests, nor do they want to address the salient issues that exist ~ . ' thanks to those racial preferences. . It also appears that the media as a whole is uncomfortable about the salient ' f1IIIt issue brought up by the report, for the media is not focusing on what the report has to say. The news reports in the Ann Arbor News and The Michigan Daily failed to provide an accurate picture of the reports of the study, depriving everyone interested in the issue a chance to examine the it thoroughly. Indeed, we wonder if The Michigan Daily even had a copy of the report when they wrote their news article on the subject. These news reports in the News and the Daily, along with other media outlets, focused entirely too much on the very minor but now infamous 173.7 to 1 odds ratio statistic, which says that if a white and black student of equal merit compete for one spot available at the University, the black student ~ have an incredibly large chance of being selected over the white student. However, there has been no mention in these outlets of the astonishing differentials between white and black admittees to the University. There has been no mention of the 6 point achievement gap on the ACT or the 230 point gap on the SAT between whiteandblaCkadmitte . . es,OranyothergapstJ:l.atarethepureandsUnPleresult 'T' ' . HE DEFEN.SES OF THE REPUBLIC. REMAIN STRONG DURING ' of racial preference. Nor has there been any mention of some ofthe incredibly . this time of crisis for the President thanks to a bipartisan resolve in strange rejections to the University that have occurred, such as the rej~tion of . Congress to, at the very least, p~~nta united front when it comes to four students scoring higher than, 1400 on their SATs - students that were issues of foreign policy. HoweveJ,",.recent events have shown that tlili? united passed over while lesser qualified students (who had a favored color of skin) front will be necessary when dealing with the troubling situation in Iraq. were admitted. The failure afthe Bush administration to topple Saddam Hussein's regime The very relevant differences that exist when white and Asian admittees during the Gulf War left Saddam in a weakened.state. However, he who fights are compared with black and Hispanic admittees to this University are almost '. and runs away lives to fight another day, and this age-old saying describes entirely due to the use of racial preferences by the University. Thesedifferences, exactly what has happened with Iraq. Hussein's weak regime was able to which are the result of passing over hundreds (879 students in 1995 alone) of strengthen itselfduring the cease-fire after the GulfWar, then crush resistance more qualified white and Asian students in favor of less qualified black and in the north and south ofIraq, and successfully consolidate its power so that it Hispanic students, are most likely the reason for the concurrent problems that now maintains a tighter .g rip on power than ever. Hussein now .flaunts this face the University in the areas of minority retention.and graduation rates. It power by playing.a skilled game of cat and mouse, deftly dodging the traps set is only logical to assume that were racial preferences abolished and students by the United States by feinting with diplomatic games and toying with United were admitted solely by merit, these problems would begin to diminish, and Nations weapons inspectors. His goal is to exacerbate the tension in the region. then cease to exist as time progressed. . just enough so that the United Nations cannot carry out its mission and yet still However, such a conclusion is scoffed at by proponents of affirmative action, · make it unfeasible for·an allied coalition to go to war against Iraq. 'l'his state of . whetherwithin the University Administration or from the University community affairs is completely unacceptable. at large. Those who point to such conclusions, or who may argue that minority In order .t o ensure that Iraq will no longer bea threat to the region, it is students are being harmed and cheated by racial preferences, are instantly necessary for the United States to remove Saddam Hussein from power and decried as racist bigots, as if they were scheming to return higher education as install a government friendly to the U.8. in that region. This move would not we know it to being the sole province of white males. Arguments that some . only protect the interests ofthe United States from the decidedly unpredictable minority admittees are less qualified than white and Asian rejectees turns into gambits ofIran in the region, but also remove Iraq as a threat against our allied, an accusation fest· ks affirmative action proponents shriek that this is prima oil producing states on the Arabian peninsula. We cannot afford for Iraq to be facie evidence of racism. How dare one say such a thing, they ask, even if the the aggressor in a second·Gu.lf War. Knowing as we do the potential Iraq has to be an aggressor, we c8llIlot allow statistics do back it up? Suddenly this person,' no, this right-wing racist, is painted as thinking that all minorities are unqualified to be at the University. for our hopefully well-meaning European allies to interfere with our resolve to For instead of addressing the very real issues at hand, the proponents of ensure that the directives of the Security Council are followed. Britain has affirmative action - and especially the University administrators who find it shown the way in fully cooperating with the United States in this matter, and necessary to expound on the subject - decry efforts to institute .a colorblind we cannot stand for the meddling of France, a minor power in the region, nor system that completely ignores race as being racist, as being anti-diversity, and Russia, who is unable to effectively exert control over its own territory, much being part of a systematic effort to resegregate higher education. This is less the territory of any other nation. complete and utter lunacy, and it is the job of the media, whose mission is to Given the threat to the interests of the United States - both political and provide the American public with not only balance but truth as well, to shed economic-that Iraq currently poses, it is simply prudent for the United States light on such issues as a performance gap between admittees of different races. to conduct a massive, combined air and ground campaign to strike all major It is the media's job to look closely at the facts before doing their report. Inthis tactical and strategictargets in the country. It would be wise for us to carry out instance, responsible reporting was jettisoned in favor of sensationalism. . this campaign as soon as possible. At the very least, this will allow us to destroy As long as the University continues to ignore the very real consequences of Iraq's weapons of mass destruction and its capability to produce such weapons, affirmative action programs, and instead continues to whine aboutresegregation, along with seriously weakening that nation's military. While we cannot no real progress towards a meaningful dialogue can occur. What occurs instead assassinate Hussein, we can ensure that his regime is toppled, and then install is simply a continuing process of polarization between proponents and opponents a friendly government that will, in the long run, alloW' for the freedom and the o( aflkm~~-ye a2tiQ.~.. w.hlch i!!Jh~_ ~!l.~~t will serv.::no beneficial pu,rpose.Mt prosperity of its people. Mt - Benjamin Kepple ~

~1I1~ltftItU)ltJttllI'lnIIIIIIIIIU U'IUIUIII( II lUll 1l~11l af' II

o COMMENTARY

BOll1bs A-way on Iraq

.... . .

- .....

__............... .._.._--.._-,- - - -

•_ __ _ _ _. _ : : O > ' J ,':,,;',wll''IIl

or.i4JAt1&;

49 ,

February 11, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o loST IN THE EIGHTIESTM

Resegregation and Other Useful Words BY BENJAMIN KEPPLE

UTRAGE IS A USEFUL emotion. After all, one can never deny the usefulness of impassioned rhetoric to defend even the most useless and banal of causes, even if it means outright lying about your opponents or the subject at hand. Just watch how your opponents, allies, and neutral people alike will react to an issue like affirmative action when you paint affirmative action opponents as racist George Wallace clones who want to resegregate higher education. Quite frankly, I'm surprised that we haven't received a letterfrom some irate administrator who has claimed he is going to distribute 5,000 copies of a flyer to all freshman mailboxes reading "The Michigan Review is secretly controlled by The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and is out to resegregate higher education. Did you know they burned an affirmative action supporter at the stake, and worship their evil, right-wing Gods in a paganistic, Bacchanalian frenzy of a ceremony where they eat human flesh? Their office is located on the third floor of the Michigan League, through the two sets ofFrench doors, on the theatre side." For such a demonization of opponents on an issue is becoming more common than ever before. No longer, for example, are affirmative action opponents simply people with a different view. Now they want to resegregate higher education. Then, it is implied, the rest of society shall follow! In order to save society from degenerating into the South of the 1950s, we've got to keep affirmative action! The second half ofthis argument goes that the question is not about merit, but about diversity. This is, of course, ridiculous, but you'll find that affirmative action opponents are now anti-diversity. Personally, I suppose that the University enjoys having diversity - after all, look at all the many groups that sit together at lunch in a dining hall cafeteria. There's a black group over there! And a white group here! And an East Indian group back there! It's so diverse! - but of course, never realizing that something isn't exactly kosher when people consistently self-segregate by raCe. One

Benjamin Kepple is Editor-in-Chief of the Review, and a senior majoring in History. The Bollinger Administration has blamed him for the breakdown in the Middle East Peace Process.

might postulate that this is at the very least partially because the University is very consistent about promoting minority-only this and minority-only that, but this is obviously just because of my white world view and thought processes. But it's no surprise. This University is so spineless (I mean, accommodating) when it comes to racial preferences (I mean, diversity) that a Doonesbury-like situation where minority student radicals ask for their own water fountains (l mean inclusion, not discrimination) is not only a possibility here, but it would be undoubtedly granted by the guilty white liberals who never matured from their 1960s radicalism. "We don't want your filthy white lips touching our water, goddamnit!" "Come on into my office! Let's discuss this in a positive manner! How can we increase diversity and help soothe the obvious emotional trauma you've been dealt by society?" Don't think that's how administrators act? Why then, did 12 administrators take time out to meet last year with 4 representatives ofLUCha (an angry militant Latino student group) when the group consisted of at most 25 people? Why then, does the Black Student Union receive $35,000 per annum from the University in guaranteed funding? Because they took over the right offices and they were smart about how they played the administrators. They knew the right buttons to push. It makes you wonder whether conservatives, the most persecuted of minorities at Michigan, can get a bit of the action too. Yes, persecuted. After all, conservatives in general are despised here at the University, but hardly a day goes by when we aren't being attacked savagely by some fascisti in the Administration for not having the right views. Now, we're anti-diversity. Then we'll be anti-minority. The next thing you know, President Bollinger will declare all conservatives to be the embodiment of evil incarnate, and demand that a bonfire be built on the Diag to burn all intellectual products of our making. Even the Huguenots in France had an Edict of Toleration. We can't even get the modem equivalent of that. This is not just about affirmative action, however. After all,legions of groups are now jumping on this bandwagon of opponent demonization, if they haven't already. To listen to their logic, there is always something out there that is ready to pounce on th~m

,""~~ _

and cause more societal oppression. What lies behind the fact that Latino groups on campus aren't given the same treatment by the administration as the black groups? White racism. What lies behind the fact that Women's Studies and American Culture departments are under attack by a hateful and spirited campaign to crush them? Conservative bias. Why do minority students drop out more than white students? The unwelcome campus atmosphere created by racist whites, not to mention the hostility facing them from anti-diversityopponents. However, there are some groups that admittedly still need to work on these tactics, because they just are not working for them. For example, let us consider the Greek system. Now, there is no doubt that this organization has manyflaws, the greatest of which is the rampant hypocrisy that must go on for public relations purposes. I for one would love to know what house presidents dope up on before they repeatedly say they don't serve alcohol at frat pa~: .... ties, and don't allow underage drinking ever to occur. Come on. And God knows how many instances of unreported hazing continue to go on throughout the system so that willing people are proven cool enough to pay exorbitant fees, live in a rotting house, and participate in mindless charity events. Ah, the advantages of brotherhood! Now, why have I written the above? Easy. Because at least one person out there is right now thinking, that son of a ... ofcourse! I'll send The Letter! (Printing such a letter would arguably be a personal victory for me.) The Letter, as we all know, is the stock body of text kept on file in the IFC (or Panhel) office for fraternities and sororities to gallantly defend themselves from the merely middleclass opposition who obviously weren't popular in highschool. (The problem for the Greeks is that all those people went into journalism.) It reads something like this: "My name is (name) and I am (some chair or another) at (Greekorg.) I was (descriptive negative adjective) and (adjective involving anger) to read in the (campus publication) the outright lies and deception perpretrated by (whiny columnistlletter writer) in a recent issue. I'll have you know that (number) ofex-Presidents werem embers of the Greek system! And that (number) of Greeks make up student government!, [you may notice, dear

...

_ _""",,,,",<,,<",,, .. _ _ _ _~_""'~'''W''''_ _ _ _ _ _'''''''_ _~''''_''''''''I)

.•,...

"",=~,.",.",.""~

reader, that they say this is as ifit was a good thing.] Furthermore, we worked (number of) (units of time) and prepared for weeks on end to raise money for (choose one: the halt and the lame! sick children/the United Negro College Fund! the battered women's shelter), but did we get any mention in the (campus publication)? No we did not! You thought (minor event also held that day) was far more important! "I just can't believe that there is so much anti-Greek sentiment at (campus publication). I'm outraged that just because you people think you run your little (publication), you can decide what's news for the rest of the campus community! But the next time one of you sees us (with a bucket on the Diag/ at Greek Weeki helping the disabled and homeless/ with our hlmdicllpped: stickers in our sport uti! it, vehicles), you should respect the Greek system for all the hard work we do!" Sincerely, so and so, blecch. Now, an annoying instance of this has been occurring lately because our friends at the oft-maligned Daily misplaced a Greek letter or two for some new minority Greek organization, Alpba Gamma Beta Psi, or something like that - I always thought they stopped at two or three letters, but hey, I guess anyone can name their group whatever they want - and well, the firestorm this has caused! The humiliation! The controversy! I can almost feel the hardship bleeding out of my pores! Look, if my name was misspelled - and it usually is - I would simply call and ask for a correction. The Daily would say, "OK, even though you're editor of the Review." It would be done. This, for some reason, is not good enough. The latest suggestion by the "humiliated" sorority was that "the Daily should see to itthat there is an additional article acknowledging its mistake." Just think, if they were University administrators, it would be on the front page. DAlLY ERROR CAUSES ETHNIC HARDSHIP; APOLOGY RUNS FOR MALIGNED GROUP It would be the secondary lead, however: right after CONSERVATIVE, ANTI-AFFIRMATIVE ACTION RACIST GEORGE WALLACE CLONE SUES U-M. Mt Watch for Lost In The Eighties™ each issue of the Review!

...

,.":.>.~~.""""",,,,-,,--~-»,

-,,,~"""'

February 11, 1997

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Racial Preferences Continued from Page 1

.."

,~~,

"One of Many Factors?"

"We cannot prove that conclusively with these rates - although these numbers are conducive with the hypothesis" that graduation rates will fall thanks to racial preferences, according to Miller. A similar CEO White Rejectee Black Admittee study looking at higher education in Colorado did conclusively prove ra•.• ~ASc:~rlainihgthe . JlctijalriUni cial preferences caused a drop in (Median Scores) bers9tindiViduais ¢Jifll>1~,S. 'Us graduation rates. "If blacks and His. . to,d etermJnethe extent!o~bich panics are not graduating as high as Verbal SAT a sUbstantial number'ofwbite . whites and Asians ... it makes intuirejectees are as or better qwill~ tive sense," Miller said. Math SAT I tied than the average bla~~: Such a proposition is harshly atfilWnittee. The gap is by far tbe , tacked by University officials. ACT argest at tbe U-M. We find that " J "Students of color graduate at a ·' there were 564wbitesrej~ted ,: vastly greater rate here than those at GPA 'at U-M with bothgrades ·and · many other institutions. This deflates '. AGT scores higher th'~Jh()s~ of CEO's argument that the U-M ad(Top Quartile) [;, 'the ,average black ; ~41D,itt,dt() . mits unqualified students of color. To U-M. There were ~ ~.~~ ;: :whlte follow the CEO theory, our graduaVerbal SAT ·rejectees with SAT$c'or~s~d tion rates for students of color, supgrades bigb~r~han ibo~e oftbe . posedly unqualified for admittance, Math SAT .· aiv,erage ;~la'~~:'adD,#ttee.~ '· ..... , would be lower than other schools. In fact, the opposite is true," according .'."Racial ACT to Cantor. .,: Education," Centerfor ~quaJ()ppod~. ' . However, the CEO report does ,,, \ . n/ty, pp. 12-13 . GPA nut claim -llt1t the admittees to the ' , ::i) c, .. , Source: CEO thiversity are unqualified, but rather ,J-I_ _ _ _ _~_ __ _ _ _ _ ~~_ _ _~~_ _~_ _~ that those beneficiaries of racial preference may be less qualified than more qualified white and Asian rejectees. These students that may have lesser levels of qualification are then placed into the academic arena with students admitted under higher stanU-M Ann Arbor U-M Dearborn Michigan State Central Michigan* Northern Michigan* dards. According to the report, "if students gain admission to college for White-Black any reason other than their academic Admittee Differpreparation, it is likely that they will ences in Median face more hurdles in school compared GPAs to their peers who have been admitted under a higher standard ." White-Hispanic At the U-M, the white-black gap Admittee Differbetween median scores on standardences in Median ized tests and in other areas is quite ACT scores large. White students admitted to the University scored a full 6 points betWhite-Asian ter than their black counterparts on Admittee Differthe ACT at the 25th and 50th percenences in Median tiles, and 5 points better at the 75th ACT scores percentile. GPA differentials for whites and blacks were a full half a Admission Rates (not avail.) grade at the 25th percentile, 0.4 at (Aslans/Whites/ (not avail.) 74173/91182 92187/82176 94191194182 the 50th percentile, and 0.3 at the Hispanics/Blacks) 75th. And graduation rates for blacks Graduation Rates (not avail.) and Hispanics are lower than those of (Aslans/Whites/ 86/87n6/66 48147/40/22 70n1l55/46 51/55/41143 their white and Asian counterparts at Hispanics/Blacks) every Michigan school studied, except for Michigan Technical UniverRelative Odds sity, where Hispanic graduation rates of Admissions are equivalent to those of their Asian counterparts. At U- M in Ann Arbor, (1heoddsthataschoolwlll

Scores of.W hite Rejectees and Black Admittees

510 600 21 2.9

480 540 23 3.3

560 650 23 3.1

480 540 23 3.3

pre~r~~~ In MI'ChI9~n:til9~ "

How U-M stacks up against other schools

Please see RACIAL PREFERENCES on page 7

0.4

0.2

0.27

0.44

0.17

4.0

3.0

1.5

N/A

0.0

1.0

2.0

N/A

1173.7 It 0 1

36.5 to 1

3.26(1) to 1

N/A

admit a black appHcant Instead or a white one when the students are .

.equally·f=ar~1y one spot s ' o r .)

Source: Center tor Equal Opportunity. • Data Collected troro .~nrollees (1) ~ts .GPA being used 8$ control variable. .:

. :

' }

...

r,_"r:

', •• • . ,,. .' ~ { ..." :-.::-. ,- , -.. (

.... .. '_ . .. .

.J,~

(

)

r ~

Februarr 11, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Racial Preferences

> ~f

.,;. , t,.#

Continued from Page 6

sions process that simply doesn't exist. We don't do admissions simply by rank ordering on test scores or GPA. 87 percent of white students graduWe look at such things as their artisated within six years, compared to 66 tic, athletic, and leadership abilities, percent of blacks. disadvantages they might have overBoth University officials and the come, the kind of curriculum they CEO study acknowledge that students have taken advantage of in high can drop out of college for many reaschool, along with a range of other sons, and that the lower rates for factors. blacks and Hispanics could be due to "One of the fundamental probeconomic factors or pressures "comlems with this report is that it shows pounded for many minority students," a shocking resolve to allow the 'only according to Cantor. However, Dr. highly selective institution in the Robert Lerner, senior author of the state,' according to the report's charRACE IN ADMISSIONS: "ONE CEO study and an independent statFACTOR OF MANY," BUT THE acterization, to become a segregated istician who works outside of Washinstitution ... highly selective instituONE THAT COUNTS? ington, D.C., notes that "it is thought tions like the University of Michigan to be in part due to lower qualificashould be open to all segments of The most controversial statistic tions. in the CEO report, and one given a society. This document discredits stu"There haven't been any schools great deal of attention by the media, dents of color because it implies that in the country (studied) where black is the statistic that a black applicant, they need to be enrolled at lesser admissions are equally or more qualiif equally qualified as a white appliinstitutions than the U-M." fied than whites ... " and no schools in Cantor also claimed that "what cant and competing with that student the country where black graduation we are really talking about, in the for only a single spot, has a 173.7 to 1 rates are equal or higher than those of chance ofbeing selected over the white context of the lawsuits against the Uwhites, according to Lerner. applicant. M and the CEO report, is a systematic According to the CEO report, "criteffort to resegregate our most selecEFFECT OF PREFERENCES ics of race preferences argue that as tive institutions. We simply cannot "SHROUDED IN SECRECY" better schools reach down into the allow that to happen." applicant pool to accept minorities, Many University administr.a tors·· "The whole subject is shrouded in (there will be a qualifications gap) agree with Cantor, claiming that afsecrecy. The whole point of the study between white and minority enrollfirmative action opponents are working towards the resegregation of is to promote openness," Lerner said. ees. If this is the case, then there higher education. Associate Pro~ost He was also senior author on the should be a positive relationship beCEO's study of higher education in tween the quality of the school, and for Academic and Multicultural AfColorado, and noted the difficulty of the white-minority gap in qualificafairs Lester Monts recently said, in gaining relevant information in both tions. an open letter to the University comcases. "A useful way to do this is to munity regarding the Martin Luther Most university reports on the develop [statistical models) ... by comKing Day Symposium, that "since our subject "[don't) seem analytical, but puting prediction equations for the last observance of the Martin Luther descriptive," Lerner noted. "I might admissionsdecisionbyrace,ethnicity, King, Jr. Day holiday, we have witstress that any college or University and including test scores and high nessed setbacks to higher educations's goal to provide quality educational could do - and they probably do school grades as statistical control variables," the report continued. any study" similar to the CEO report. opportunities for all people. Hopwood, Proposition 209, and the University Lerner also said that many Michigan Using a mathematical technique of California Board of Regents' decischools failed to provide data that called logistic regression, statisticians was available to the CEO in other can then derive odds ratios from those sion on affirmative action have beprediction equations. Odds ratios are states; according to Lerner, the U-M come topics in our daily conversations. Now, the University of Michiin Ann Arbor refused to provide gradusimilar to correlation coefficients, according to Lerner, and the odds ratio ation data. He later was able to regan is faced with a lawsuit that has ceive the University's data through of 173.7 to 1 expressed as a correlathe potential to impede not only the National Collegiate Athletic tion coefficient is 0.98, an extremely progress toward educational equalAssociation's (NCAA) "1997 NCAA strong positive corrrelation. Lerner ity, but to turn us back to a resegreDivision I Graduation Rates Report," said that this odds ratio was "unbegated educational system nationdata that all member schools must lievably large," and noted that the wide." Monts was unavailable for comprovide to that body. chance of race playing a factor on such ment and declined to answer quesWhile the CEO study was not an admissions decision at U-M was tions posed to him over e-mail. able to conclusively prove that racial six times as large as the odds of getUniversity President Lee preferences directly affected graduating lung cancer if one smokes Bollinger has also condemned affirtion rates, it claims that "it provides throughout one's life. mative action opponents. evidence in support of that view"No other possible factor or vari"The CEO study suggests that we one would have to take the entire should tolerate segregated higher able could come close to account for it. cohort of the student body and then ... There is no possible way being an education. We cannot, and this sugtrace them through four, five, or six athlete or a Oegacy] could even come gestion is offensive and ignores the close" to race as a factor in admisyears" to gain data able to determine impact of diversity on the quality of whether graduation rates were afsions, according to Lerner. education in the United States," he fected by racial preferences. This was However, Cantor sharply critisaid in a statement. A main focus of unable to be done because the study cized the report and its findings. the University's argument against the ,,:.';:l•..,:i1!:.:;,;:. .::..!'"'" ' ' c·''' :' : did hot nave' data' <iri aU of tlie 'sid- ' . . . - ,. '1'hi's-ie'port describes' an"idmls'- . CEtfre'p·ort..,- p!\'+'I~4t~\Y~~,. ~

opponents in general - is to claim that they support resegregation of higher education. But the CEO has in no way supported anything remotely resembling the resegregation of higher education. Indeed, the Detroit Free Press reported in a January 27th article that CEO President Linda Chavez said it was "nonsense" to state that the CEO supports resegregation of higher education. And the CEO report makes it clear that if racial preferences in admissions were ended, only the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor would suffer a significant decline in black enrollment. Additionally, when noting the probable access to schools based on top--quartile GPAs of black admittees, the CEO study states that "black students at Michigan Tech, U-M Dearborn, and U.;...M Ann Arbor would prob~bly be admitted to every school" iii the state of Michigan without benefiting from racial preferences. The Ann Arbor News, in an article published on the 26th of January, stated that the "CEO has ties, both in ideology and Web site links to the Center for Individual Rights, the conservative, public interest law firm that has filed the lawsuits against the UM." However, Miller dismisses the claim that there is any kind of connection between the CIR and the CEO. "There is none," Miller said. "What [theAnnArbor News reporter] wanted to demonstrate was that there was some kind of conspiracy," noting that the CEO Web site has links to both sides of the racial preferences issue, and not just the CIR's. The CEO report adds fuel to an already raging fire at the University of Michigan over the use of racial preferences in admissions. Given the massive reaction to this report by students, faculty, parents, and administrators on both sides of the issue, that fire will undoubtedly burn hotter in the weeks to come. Ml

dents applying to all the public colleges and Universities in Michigan. Indeed, Eastern Michigan University, Oakland University, U-M Flint, Wayne State University, and Western Michigan University all either refused to comply with the CEO's requests for information or supplied inadequate data. "This is a tactic we encountered allover the country - these universities will stonewall if they have data that is embarassing," Miller said.

.... ....... , ..

-_._._._---_.... ... _ ,

-_ .._-

- --,,,..--_._----

,- -,-- . ----~-,------

Lee sings, Chris throws up, and Ben dies. And this is just during the staff meeting.

Join the Review! call 647-8438 (or e-mail mrev@umich.edu) for more info!

;

:';11JA.' t;

February 11, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS AFFAIRS

U-M Asks: Does God Exist? '\

, *It'·

BY LEE BocKHORN

ASTTHURSDAYEVENING, a stimulating debate on the question "Does God Exist?" was held at U of M's Rackham Auditorium. Sponsored by the Michigan Christian Grads, the Navigators, Campus Crusade for Christ, and Christian Leadership Ministries, the debate was witnessed by a standingroom only crowd of students, faculty, and local citizens. Guest professor Dr. William Lane Craig argued for the affirmative, while U-M philosophy professor Dr. Edwin M. Curley argued against the existence of the Christian God. The debate adhered to a rigid structural format, with both speakers given the opportunity to make twenty minute opening statements, followed by rebuttals. The debate ended with the chance for those in attendance to pose questions to Craig and Curley. Learned and articulate, both Dr. Craig and Dr. Curley made compelling arguments for their positions. Craig began by drawing a framework

Computers Continued from Page 9

than EDO), a 33.6k modem, a 2 Meg video card, and 2 empty expansion ports on the front of the case. If a computer you're looking at does not have one of these items, ask a Goober (someone who works on the floor of a retail store) how much it would cost to upgrade to the above specifications. Figure the new price after the upgrade and go with that in your comparisons. Another important computer component is the monitor. Do yourself a favor and get at least a 15" monitor. You'll thank me when it's 4 A.M. and yoUr eyes are sticky from lack of sleep and an excess of Mountain Dew. In summary, get a computer which has enough power and then some to run the programs you want to use. Make sure the system has at least the minimum components mentioned above. Shop around (try Best Buy, Office Max, Computer Renaissance, Office Mart, ABC Warehouse, and the internet), and avoid buying a Macintosh. If you're not getting a Pentium II, go with the AMD-K6 CPU. Most important: DO NOT shop at the U-M Computer Showcase. If you have questions, send me an email at brousch@umich.edu and I'll try to answer it. l\R

for the rest of his arguments, saying that we must "ask two basic questions - are there any good reasons why God does not exist? Are there any good reasons why God does exist?" In response to the latter, he offered five reasons: God's existence makes sense of the universe's origin, of its complex order, ofobjective moral values, of the historical facts of Jesus's life and death, and finally, that God can be immediately known and experienced. Dr. Curley told the audience that he was "not defending atheism," but merely rejecting the existence of the Christian God as framed by the debate. He began by describing and then rejecting many traditional Christian doctrines such as predestination, the omniscience of God, and original sin as either philosophically unacceptable or inherently self-contradictory. For example, he asked how it was possible for a supposedly just and loving God to will beings to hell in accordance with predestination. He also challenged Craig's claim that God's existence makes sense of objective moral truths by asserting that Christian belief actually "makes morality as we know it unintelligible ... since our ... loyalty must be to God and he might command anything, as there is no predicting what he might require ... no act is out of bounds." The debate touched many areas of knowledge, from the obvious -

some knowledgeable people had to theology and philosophy-to the notso-obvious, such as physics, biology, say about the existence of God." and cosmology. Craig and Curley Bryan Berghoef, a member of chose unique and contrasting methCampus Crusade for Christ who ods to convey their ideas. While Craig helped organize the event, said that took an uplifting, sincere approach the goal of the sponsors was for the whichincludeddescriptionsofhisown University community to "hear the experiences while in search for truths issues of the Christian God's existabout God, Curley opted for an often ence debated by highly intelligent light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek style philosophers, so that students would which many audience members rehave the chance to really think about sponded to. (An example: in response them." He also stated that he was not to Dr. Craig's use of probability stasurprised by the immense turnout, tistics to argue that the universe must since "there was significant publicity, have been created by a sentient beit's an appealing topic, and people ing, Dr. Curley replied, "the numbers were confident that the debate would not be slanted towards either side." cited by Professor Craig are awfully impressive - Good Lord! [audience Obviously, many in attendance laughs] ... I guess old habits die hard.") came with strongly held views on the The audience response to the desubject, looking to hear arguments to bate was overwhelmingly positive. In strengthen their own beliefs; howthe question-and-answersession folever, a large contingent also came lowing the debate, students asked without a predetermined viewpoint, intelligent, thought-provoking queseager to hear arguments on both sides tions, and many students remained and be convinced one way or another. in the auditorium after the debate's With the tremendous attendance, inconclusion to continue informal distelligent argument presented by both cussions with the speakers. sides, and meaningful student par"The speakers had very different ticipation, this debate epitomized styles, but both were effective at prewhat the university experience should senting their side; they made sincer~'C>"'''' be: an honest, reasoned search for and strong arguments," said Dan Picfundamental truths. No matter which colo, a School of Music freshman. Picside the audience members believed colo, echoing the sentiments of many to have "won," they could all agree other students, said he attended the that the debate was a wonderful sign debate because "it's an issue I'm in thatalegitimateintellectuallifestill the middle on - I wanted to see what survives at the U of M. l\R

And You Thought a Franklin Planner Was A Bit Much BY BENJAMIN KEPPLE

HEN FORMER MICHI-, gan Student Assembly (MSA) President Fiona Rose bought an expensive Franklin planner for approximately $125 with MSA monies, it caused a firestorm of controversy_ First reported by then Editor-in-Chief of the Review Geoff Brown, Rose's purchase of the planner ("the expensive leather version," Brown noted) became not only a symbol of problems with the MSA, but a campus-wide joke. That's penny-ante compared to the perfectly "legitimate" compensation received by dozens of student government officers nationwide, according to a recent survey conducted by" Student Leader magazine,,' The

President of the Associated Students at Washington State University is given a cash salary of $15,643 per annum. The Student Government Association president at San Digeo State University gets an $11,000 stipend. And the Student Government President at the University of Miami (Florida) rakes in the most money of all- a $19,140 scholarship for tuition. And how much money does MSA President Mike Nagrant receive? According to the survey, Nagrant receives ... absolutely nothing. However, he is entitled to the use of a parking space near the Michigan Union. Nagrant, who responded to a survey question saying that executive officers in student government should not be paid, apparently disagrees with most-studentgovernment

+><»~o_'M"_""~m _

r«'='f'{''''_'''''''-''''''''''''''''''''w,,,''-'1''''_'x,,''-'''''''''''

If'

officials nationwide: the majority think they deserve a good stipend or salary for their "hard work." Seventy percent ofthe 150 schools surveyed offer their student govern ment officers "some sort of compensa tion." In addition, some also receive reserved parking spaces, concert tick ets, and even "plush apartments." I appears that at many schools, stu dent government means more thaIJ making resolutions, taking lobbyin~ trips, and insulting the other mem bers ofthe body.Ml

READ THE REVIEW! )

_OP

::- 1

(;

iJiMMMWiiM"Ill'U'l 6

(I,,)

J-

~i11::;l~

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS AFFAIRS

The U-M Computer Rip-off

Continued on Page 8 :'ll! ~:;

... _ _ •.

_ _, _ _ _ ,",......,_,_,_ _ , _ _ _ .,,,,.,"..

,,~

......

OW THAT I'VE TOLD YOU where not to shop, I'll try to help you figure out where you should buy a computer. The first task is to figure out how much power your new computer will need. DespiteTim Allen's claims, not everything needs 'more power.' You want to find a computer which has enough power to quickly run the programs you will be using, but you don't want to spend a bunch of money on excessive speed and power you don't need. I recommend that you buy a PC, not a Macintosh. The simple truth is that Macintoshes cost more and have much less software and hardware flexibility than an equivalent PC. If you buy a Macintosh (may Bill Gates rain fire and brimstone down upon you and your kin), you're on your own. The tricky part is figuring out what programs you will use on your new computer not only in the present, but also in the future. You don't want to have to buy a new computer every couple years ifyou can help it. So, the first step is to look at what you already use computers for. Do you use the campus computers just for email ~~.~~r..<ll?r,-~~ssuw,o,r do you. p,nd.

... ",m

AMD-K6 processor. They go for $1000 at the low end, and $1500 at the high end. These computers will be faithful to you for several years without upgrading if your computing needs do not increase too much. On the other end of the spectrum is the computer user who uses his computer for the newest and most intense games, graphics, and programming around. Most of these people already know what to look for in a computer, but I'll give a little advice to the novice/future power-users. You want the fastest CPU you can get, but one which is also upgradeable at a reasonable price. The fastest processors out there for graphics and 3D are the Pentium lIs. The fastest I've seen is 333Mhz. If you've got the money, go for it, otherwise you should get the 266Mhz model. There are important considerations other than the CPU speed when buying a computer. You should not buy a computer if it does not have at least: a 16x CD-ROM (or DVD), 32 Megs ofEDO RAM (SDRAM is better

yourself using the large graphics programs and surfing fancy web sites? Do you play solitaire and freecell, or do your tastes run to the extreme 3D games such as Diablo and Quake? After you figure out what you already use, try to predict what you will use once you have your own personal computer nestled snugly in your room. If you think you are going to use your computer to write those 3 A.M. papers and for all of the procrastinations which seem to go along with them (Freecell and emai}), but you aren't likely to get addicted to the newest electronic RPG, you don't needareallypowerfulcomputer. The slowest new computer you can get at this time is a 166MhzPentium. These low-end systems generally cost between $1000 and $1200 with a monitor. Please don't pay more than $1400 for a 166Mhz computer. There are even a few 166Mhz AMD-K6 machines available. The AMD-K6 costs as much as an equivalent Pentium, and is much faster than the Intel manufactured chip. If you are going to use your computer for word processing, card games, email, and occasional web browsing, you should buy a compl\4!r - 2QO MHz ,. .. , ""with ". a",16,6, ., -

BENJAMIN RouseH

Benjamin Rousch is a junior and the computer consultant for the Review - and the all-powerful god of the Review's sacred Web page.

The Right Computer for You

FIRST DISCOVERED THE U-M Computer Showcase when I was building my PC last fall. I had scoured the web, computingmagazines, and local dealers in search of the lowest prices on various components. As I exited the Michigan Union, I noticed the little shop near the back door. Various posters and advertisements proclaimed "Computers and peripherals at educationally discounted prices!" It seemed that my dreams had come true, and that students were finally getting a financial break from someone. I bolted inside to behold the wonders of educational discounts. What I found were the most expensive prices of any source I had investigated on virtually every piece of hardware (for the technically impaired, hardware is the stuff you can touch, such as the monitor, keyboard, hard disk, and motherboard) in the store. Some educational discount. This obvious deception prompted me to investigate the Showcase further, and ultimately expose it for what it really is: another tool for sucking money out of unsuspecting students. I recently went to several local retail stores (Best Buy, Office Max, Computer Renaissance, Office Depot, and ABC Warehouse) which sell computers to compare the market prices to those at the Computer Showcase. I also visited a the web sites of Egghead Computers (an internet store), Gateway Computers (Mooooo), and Dell (more on this later). After viewing a total of about 200 computers, I had found a grand total of 2 computers which were more expensive (for a comparable system) than the Showcase's. What I discovered astonished me. A typical desktop computer equivalent to those sold at the Showcase was up to $800 cheaper (that's 40% cheaper) at retail stores. A topof-the--line desktop PC similar to those available through the Showcase was also available for $800 (or 25%) less outside of the University. Notebooks better than those sold for $3450+ were available in retail stores for $2000. There is clearly something wrong here. Before I continue, I should state a few things. This article would have been very long and boring had I compared the prices on Macintoshes, Laptops, and Palmtops, so I restricted

know what he was talking about. Not only did the Computer Showcase want to sell me overpriced systems, but they also were giving me misinformation. After storming around the Union for a few minutes, I went home and got on the information superhighway. I had a suspicion that I could get the exact same system through Dell's web site for a lower price than the "educationally discounted" computers offered by the Computer Showcase. I was right. The exact same make and model of Dell computers were available for $150 to $550 less. There is no educational discount. Either the people who run the U-M Computer Showcase do not check the prices, or they are outright liars. Either way, their prices are exorbitant, and their service is horrible. The moral of this story is simple: do not buy a computer at the U-M Computer Showcase. Mt

network. I pointed to one of the featured items and told him that I could get an equivalent (in fact better) system at Best Buy for several hundred dollars less than they (the Showcase) charge. He asked me what I meant by an equivalent system, and I rattled off a few brand names (Compaq, Hewlett Packard, and Packard Bell) and mentioned that they have the same vital statistics. He told me that since the computers I listed were not Dell brand computers, that they were not equivalent systems (the Showcase sells only Dell desktops). Now, I may not be an employee of Intel or Microsoft, but I am a Senior majoring in Computer Science, read several computer magazines religiously, and have built my own PC; I know a load of computer crap when I hear it. This man looked me straight in the face and told me a lie. Dell is not the endall of computers; don't let anyone tell you any single brand is. It's just like Ford, Chevy, and GM; they're all good and they're all bad, but no one brand is inherently better than the others. Before I go off on a complete tirade, I'll suffice to say that the man did nol'

my scope mostly to desktop PCs. Most people who will be buying a computer will be buying a desktop PC, so this is rational. For further price information, visit the Michigan Review's web pageathttp://www.umich.edu/-mrevl and follow the link relevant to this article. It will contain the price, CPU, RAM, hard disk size, CD-ROM speed, modem, and brand name of the Computer Showcase's computers along with systems I found locally. For the tech-heads, the AMD-K6 is considered on par with Pentium lIs of the same CPU speed. My arguments for this are on the web page. Now, on with the article. I was quite distraught by what I discovered at the Showcase, and since I'm a fair person I decided to let the people who work at the Showcase defend their prices. I asked an employee why I should shop here (at the Showcase) rather than at a retail store. After a few moments ofstunned stammering he explained that every item in the store was educationally discounted by 5% to 20%, and that they test all the modems/ethernet cards for compatibility with the U-M

BENJAMIN RouscD

••_._.,, __ .,,,, _ __

·,.'j'",..,I{1) \,. t

'\::'\.'j

{J'I

February 11, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS AFFAIRS

Engineering Hopor Code Admirable the same. After all, people can abuse honor codes. In this unfortunate situengineers: "and ... for computer questions ... and laboratory reports." This honor in many ways, even those that ation, the code must rely on a deterEW WILL DISAGREE THAT may seem unconventional. This is not, rent rather than an attraction to be clarifies the "do's" and "don't's" for honor is an admirable and eseffective. engineers, and reminds them that of course, to imply that engineers do sential virtue. We have great abuse honor, but to recognize the fact The converse to this is an entrustthese smaller items are just as imporrespect for truthful people, though all ing Code. With words like "record" or tant. Matt Kendelski, also an Engithat honor violations are not limited the while we expect truth from them. phrases like "long-standing," engineering freshman, appreciates this to using cheat sheets. We try to instill honor in our workneers can associate with an imporWhether the Code provides engispecial attention: places, our homes, and in general, our tant history all their own. By men"An engineering student often has neers with tradition and bonds, or lives. Accordingly, as the principal guidance for their specific professional tioning the Canon of Ethics for Engimore exposure to computers, labs, source of early guidance in our lives, neers, the original engineering honor and research materials than normal duties, it most certainly has merit to schools have stepped up and assumed code, the Code implies that more than textbooks and exams. I guess it's good the Engineering community. Honor this responsibility. Their efforts are cannot be an isolated concept to which just history is out there - it says the Code recognizes our uniqueness." embodied in honor codes, which adstudents struggle to relate - it must there is a tradition that somebody Identity is important, and engidress this need for fulfillment and address the here and the now, and cared about continuing. Through a neering students, like anyone, value community trust. alao address the past at the same special bond, that somebody is dethis. They have different equipment Within schools, there exist detime. There are certain expectations ,pending on each fellow engineer to and learning environments in their partment-specific honor codes. These of to day's engineer, and they are no acknowledge the tradition, undereducation; it is essential that their codes incorporate a unique tradition better articulated or felt than in the stand the tradition, and live the tradicommunity notes these differences and profession into an otherwise gention. and stresses their responsibility just Code.l\R What is this eral ethical statement. The U-M Engineering Honor Code is a prime exspecial bond? By ample; engineers have a history and having their own responsibilities all their own. Since traditions, engithey exist as a separate cpmmunity in neers bond with a sense, is there any doubt as to the those current and need for a separate, more applicable past. While these honor code? bonds cannot be creBy standing alone, the Honor Code ated by a general for engineers makes a more profound statement from the school, an honor code statement than some general plea for that speaks to engihonor. From the outset of the code, neering concerns the engineering legacy is laid on the lSI Announces the First Annual "Campus Outrage Awards" and roles certainly table. The engineering profession has has the capacity to a long-standing record of fostering do so. Two lines of high standards of integrity in the perthing. In short. that violates the spirit of liberal We "ani 10 know what outrages you. learning. The nalional press is IUrning a deaf ear toward the Honor Code formance of professional services. The goal of the 1997·98 Outrage Awards IS to the outrageous excesses of "politically correct" clearly exhibit this From the looks ofthis, I would have a focus the nation's attention on the declme of higher students. faculty. and administrators in higher educabond, and the relittle anxiety about filling some big education brought aoout by the revolutionary agenda tion. With the national spotlight on their actIvities sponsibilities and exshoes. Frank Tetel, an Engineering of radical students. faculty. and administrators. By dimming. radical campus activists are free to undergaining the media's attention with our Outrage mine the traditional curriculum, implement speech pectations that acfreshman, disagrees: Awards. we can discomfort those seeking to codes that hamstring free expression. and redefine company it: "to up"I don't see it as a pressure to radicalize all elements of campus life. campus social life along "alternative" lines. College hold and advance the conform; I see it as a foundation on administrators not only ignore or condone such honor and dignity of Who can enter: Entries are limited to college actions. but charge students more in tuition and fees which to grow. If there's a lot of pride students currently enrolled in undergraduate or every year to support this subversion of the traditional the Engineering in the profession's history, this is somegraduate programs of study. college experience. Profession ... to inthing I want to be a part of." Now. however. you can do something about it. crease the compeIndeed, it seems that tradition When to enler: Deadline for entries is February With your help. our First Annual Campus 28. 1998. Outrage Awards will expose the worst excesses of tence and prestige of has a powerful influence on the Honor university administrators. faculty, and radical students the engineering proCode. There are two ways to approach What we needfrom you: to a national audience. fession." strong tradition: fear and maintain it, I. A short narrative of 250 words or one doubleHere's how it works. Tradition is spaced typed page describing the Outrage on your Send us the most egregious examples of political or marvel and maintain it. The Honor campus. correctness that occurred on your campus in 1997. priceless. However, Code seems to impressively elicit the 2. Supporting documentation such as newspaper Write a short narrative of your entry and provide us the active role of latter. with background infonnation in the fonn of newspaclippings, memos. bios. course descriptions and today's engineer is The Code conveys a different sensyllabi. etc. per clips. course catalogs. syllabi. and the like. Your entry could win our $1,000 grand prize or one of 3. Your name, class. school. address. phone just as important. timent than many other honor codes. number. and e-mail address. four $500 second prizes. Those who nominate the Impressively, the Some tend to be more threatening winners will be invited to join luminaries from the Honor Code doesn't and legalistic, to put it bluntly. Send, jax, or email your entry 10: Campus academy. press. and government at a Washington. fail us here either. Whereas the engineering Code seems DC. press conference announcing the 1997-1998 Outrage. lSI. P.O. Box 4431. Wilmington. DE Campus Outrage Awards. 19807-0431: Fax: 302-652-1760; Email: After a statement to ask for cooperation and explains Awards go to those students who highlight the outrage@isi.org that could be interwhat is at stake for the community, groups. individuals. or institutions committing the preted universally these codes feel the need to resort to If multiple nominations arc received for the same most egregious PC outrages against traditional liberal throughout the Outrage. a drawing will be held to detennine the arts education and the rights of college students. scare-tactics. Although such tactics winner. A panel of judges will select the Top Five Winning entries can he outrageous events. kooky school communityseem antithetical to the nature of Outrages of 1997. For more infonnation. call 1-800· classes. (\dd tcxthooks. totalitarian student groups. students are placed honor codes by creating a sense of intolerant administrators. or illiberal faculty. Any526·7022. on their honor durlegal 'consequences, this may be the ing all examinations only way certain students can be reached. Perhaps these students are' and written quizzes - the Code contin-, not mature enough to value the true \leswitAspfi)~i,ficsfQr . ,; \ ' .. , 1 '.'" .. CJ C'. " objectives and inherent beauty of BY DOUG HILLHOUSE

for the worst CAMPUS OUTRAGE

r·

~<~''''<>~'''''''''''''''M>_''''';;i

•

m.wm~IWlih~44iW;¢I

;:Z;;;;J6lI;

s;a!~"R1M"

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

February 11, 1998

DESSAY

States' BY

C.J. CARNAccmo

HERE IS A COMMONLY held and frightening belief among many Americans that the concept of states' rights is an antiquated political idea which no longer holds water in modern times. Proponents ofthis belief view the Constitution as a mere handbook in political theory, to be obeyed or ignored depending on how well it fits within contemporary circumstances. But the idea of states' rights is not just some quaint political notion, it is an enduring part of constifutionallaw embodied in the Tenth Amendment, which states: "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people." As long as this amendment remains a part of the Constitution, it must be given full meaning; the intention of the Framers must be acknowledged and respected. In order to understand the Tenth Amendment and the concept of states' rights, it is first necessary to understand the role of the states in the Constitution. One indication of the Framers' concern for the states can be found in the fact that the word "state" or "states" is used 94 times in the 6, 000 words of the original seven articles of the Constitution. In Federalist 39, James Madison makes it clear that the ratification of the Constitution came from the people "not as individuals composing one entire nation, but as composing the distinct and independent States to which they belong." It must not be forgotten that the states created the federal government to serve the common interests of the Union as a whole. They did not create the federal government as a master to be served. It was the states which consented to the drafting of the Constitution and undertook to bind themselves by its provisions: "Each State in ratifying the Constitution, is considered a sovereign body independent of all others, and only to be bound by its voluntary act." The result was a federal union of states in which the states delegated, not surrendered, some of their powers but retained all of their sovereignty. The Tenth Amendment's protection of states' rights is two-fold in C. J. Carnacchio is the Managing Editor ofthe Review and he wishes to secede from the Union and declare independence for the State ofInebria,,', , .'".' .,' tion.

Right~,

Federal Wrongs

purpose. The first purpose is to prevent the accumulation of power in a centralized government which is remote from the people and relatively immune to popular restraints. As political sage Russell Kirk observed, "Astute lovers offreedom will assert state powers constantly, so that personal and local liberties may endure; the smaller the unit of government, the less possibility of usurpation, and the more immediate and powerful the operation of prescriptive influences." Liberty thrives in the politics ofstates' rights and localism; conversely, despotism flourishes in an environment of centralization and consolidation. The former breeds variety and independence; the latter breeds uniformity and servitude. The Framers of the Constitution were quite clear in their desire to balance power between state governments and the federal government. Plainly, the intention of the Tenth Amendment was to restrict the federal government; to hold it within the strict boundaries ofthe delegated powers. Again in Federalist 39, Madison makes it crystal clear that the jurisdiction of the federal government was to extend "to certain enumerated objects only, and leaves to the several States a residuary and inviolable sovereignty over all other objects." The states were to be "no more subject, within their respective spheres, to the general authority [the federal government}, than the general authority is subject to them, within its own sphere." Fellow Federalist Alexander Hamilton furthers Madison's arguments and gives some specifics in Federalist 45 when he states: "The powers delegated by the proposed Constitution to the federal government are few and defined. Those which are to remain to the State governments are numerous and indefinite. The forme:r will be exercised principally on external objects, as war, peace, negotiation, and foreign commerce ... The powers reserved to the several States will extend to all objects which, in the ordinary course of affairs, concern the lives, liberties, and properties of the people, and the internal order, improvement, and prosperity of the State." The word "no," used as a direct restraint on government, occurs twenty-six times in the seven articles of the Constitution and five times in the Bill of Rights. Hamilton also makes it quite clear in Federalist 78 that in order for laws to be binding they must be made in pursuance of the Constitution and -any-statues that violate the authority

of the states must be treated as acts of ants, and such-like now go to Washusurpation: "There is no position ington. Their eyes and thoughts were constantly fixed on Rome, because which depends on clearer principles, than that every act of a delegated recognition and preferment lay that authority, contrary to the tenor of the way; and in their incorrigible sycocommission under which it is exerphancytheybecame, as Plutarch says, like hypochondriacs who dare not eat cised, is void. No legislative act, therefore, contrary to the Constitution, can or take a bath without consulting their be valid. To deny this would be to physician." The root of the federal affirm, that the deputy is greater than his principal; that the servant is above government's permeation into state his master; that the representatives affairs and subsequent decimation of ofthepeoplearesuperiortothepeople states' rights lies in the two C's: cash themselves ..." and coercion. The main political inSo, both Madison and Hamilton strument of the two C's is a little thing believed that states have a right to act called "matching funds" which are or not to act, as they see fit, in the designed to stimulate spending in areas reserved to them by the Constiareas in which the almighty federal government has deemed a need for tution. The states have duties which national action. correspond to those rights, but these duties are owed to the citizens of the Matching funds work like this: If states, not the federal government. the states agree to put up the money But, federal authorities have taken it for a certain program, the federal government will match the appropriaupon themselves to incessantly interfere within each states' sphere of potion according to a ratio prescribed by liticalliberty whenever they feel the Congress. More often than not, the states are not meeting the needs of federal government ends up paying the people. If there is disciplinary well over half the costs. But, with action to be taken against a state for federal money comes federal regulanot meeting its citizens' needs,. ii"''-'~ tionandwithfederalregulationcomes should be done by the people of that the death of states' rights. All too state who have been delegated that often, state governments have been power, not by federal authorities. willing to prostitute their political The second purpose behind the sovereignty for a federal grant here Tenth Amendment's protection of and there. states' rights is the recognition ofthe Barry Goldwater once summed principle that local problems are best up the matching funds program perdealt with by the people most directly fectly as "a mixture of blackmail and concerned. Who better understands bribery. The States are told to go local problems and who is better able along with the program 'or else.' Once to find local solutions than those closthe federal government has offered est to the matter? Obviously, those matching funds, it is unlikely, as a practical matter, that a member of who live in the state or city have a vested interest in solving the problem the State Legislature will turn down swiftly and efficiently. Citizens exerhis State's fair share of revenue colcising the spirit of localism to solve a lected from all of the States. Underproblem is always more beneficial to standably, many legislators feel that liberty then the coercive action of a to refuse aid would be political sui- " centralized authority. cide. This is an indirect form of coerThe extreme centralization which cion, but it is effective nonetheless." the nation has endured for the better If the Framers of the Constitupart of the twentieth century has left tion were to view the massive federal many local political spheres lacking government of 1998, which extends in imagination, intelligence, and inits authority into every aspect of personal and public affairs, they would dependence. Centralization has converted virtually every official and pobelieve some violent revolution had litical aspirant in the smaller units of occurred in American history which government into a venal and comoverthrew the Constitution. To those placent agent of the federal bureauwho would say that the concept of cracy. states' rights is an outdated and imA great majority ofpublic officials practical political ideal, let me leave now suffer from the "all eyes fixed you with the words of James Madiupon Rome" syndrome. The great esson: "Since the general civilization of sayist and Jeffersonian liberal Albert mankind, I believe there are more Jay N ock recognized the beginnings instances of the abridgment of the of this disease in the 1930s under the freedom of the people bytbe gradual statist Roosevelt regime: "They came and silent encroachments of those in to Rome with their hats in their hands, power, than by violent and sudden as governors, Congressional aspir" usurpations." Mt ' .. c, â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘ ~, , .....

~~w<""'~,'".,"""'<""""''''''''H,-''''~r"''''c~''''''''''''''''~'''~"'-<,

_ _,,w'''_ _ _' ' <>Y'' ' _

_ _ "WY=W,.. _ _ _

~._"_~

___

~~<>'~~~<"

February 11,1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o NATIONAL AFFAIRS

Clinton ScaneJal Focus MisplacedBY MA'ITHEW BUCKLEY

T'S BEEN QUITE A THREE weeks for the nation . Since the alleged President ClintonMonica Lewinsky dalliance first hit the news, the public has been treated to scandal coverage of the first order. The power of24-hour news networks, the print media, and the Intemethave been at our service to help us wade through the sordid morass of the Clinton sex files. From the beginning of the coverage, there has been a perception that this was the media's big break with Clinton. Heavily criticized by many on the Right for not pursuing the Clinton Administration enough duro ing earlier scandals, the media now seemed to lay into Clinton . Though differing explanations emerged, the prominent one was that the Presi· dent's slick maneuvering through previous scandals had irritated the press. Now, wi th allegations of actual presidential dishonesty, as well as revela· tions of previous dishonesty to the press regarding the Gennifer Flowers affair, the press was not going to give tne rresldent a tree rIde. It seems a pretty plausible claim . Clinton (and for that matter, VicePresident Gore) is sneaky, and likes to play the "literal truth" game. Witness his explanation ofhis statements in the infamous 1992 60 Minutes interview. At that time, he said allegations of an eleven-year affair with Gennifer Flowers were false, but conceded that he had previously "caused pain to his marriage." In his deposition in the Paula Jones trial, he admitted to the affair. It doesn't take a philosophy class in logic to sense that the two statements are inconsistent. Clinton's explanation shows his adeptness with literal truth. Apparently, the reason he denied an elevenyear affair with Flowers is that the affair wasn't eleven years old. Now, it would seem to you or me that this avoids the substantive issue of the question; generally, a question regarding the existence of an eleven-year affair is dealing with the existence of the affair, not the timespan. Clinton stays literally truthful, but avoids the real question ... such is the "literal truth" game. Clin ton is surely not the first to do this; while you or I may not do it on a very consistent basis, I'll bet we all . . . . LSA d M at t B uckley~a)unwrm an 'b . . d' he R ' . contn ut~ e ttor °ht. t h eVIew. ne was an mtern for lS ometown Congressman I ast summer- but noth . in ha en.eli.;tcust u,,!' . '."

have at one time or another. I'll also bet that we have all been caught at one time or another. You know what? When you get caught at that sort of thing, your victim's assessment is that you are dishonest. Even better, suppose you repeat friend A's denial .of a claim to frIend B and friend .C, and then fmd out th.a~ while some trIVIal aspect 01 the way you phrased the

The problem is that the issues with teeth are those of subordination of perjury and obstruction of justice. They are the ones that people actually seem to care about; polls suggest that the public does not care about the sexual charges. If Clinton lied, the

the fundamental questions of what Clinton did. The fact that the President's defenders do more attacking of Clinton's accusers than disproving their allegations is quite telling. But for all the press coverage the sexual charges have received, it will be helpful for Starr only so far as it provides li~s to the oth~r allegati~ns of wrongdomg. There IS a real rIsk here that the q~estions involved .in these matters WIll reduce to legal dIScussions to which peo~le will not li.sten, or (worse) to which people WIll not care. This raises the question: can

"C ant h e pre s s be counted on to cover [per]-ury] charges with -ail as mueh Vl~.& ance ... as the sexual issues?" •

thepressb~countedontocoverthese

claimwasincorcharges with as mu~h vigilance as reet, the subthey have the sexual Issues? stantive part 01 There is some evidence that the the claim is press will not be reluctant to go after true. Iffriend A knew, and counted public says, then he should go ... ifit these issues; in fact, in some cases it on, your explaining his case to friends is just an affair, then so what? appears many in the press have leapt Band C, you might well feel used . The result has been a press focus to conclusions on the basis of flimsy that is distinctly not persuasive to the evidence. The Dallas Morning News, Given this, we can see why the press might be annoyed with Clinton, American people. Market forces defor example, scooped the story of cermand sex, the public hears of the sex, tain Secret Service officials being subfor this "literal truth" game has been played consistently from the Press the public doesn't care about the sex, poenaed for their knowledge of the Briefing Room for six years. From so Clinton isn't seriously hurt by the President's affairs, only to find that Flowers to Whitewater, Travelgateto sex. While people are aware of the crucial details of their story were not the campaign contribution scandal, potentially more serious chargeS";'''''<" entirely accurate. the press has been, at worst, told the these issues have not received the Such errors of reporting should literal truth only; at best, they have serious focus they deserve. not occur, and the press certainly has been used. The distinction is crucial, since it a special responsibility in this case So, the relentless media push on appears more and more likely that not to put forth scurrilous allegations, this current Clinton scandal is underthe sexual allegations are true and given its nature. However, these prestandable. Yet if they believed that provable, while the perjury and obvious difficulties, Presidential dishard investigative reporting of White struction charges could well elude avowals and denials, mounting critiinvestigators. Clinton supporters in cism from the Left, and potentially House shenanigans would hurt President Clinton this time, they were all this have several key facts they declining ratings could combine to will need to explain away if they are create an environment where imporclearly wrong. No matter how many hour long Investigating the President to put together a coherent story in tant issues will not be covered. It specials CNN runs, it seems that the which Lewinsky and Clinton had no happened with Whitewater, it hapLewinsky affair is the "Little Scandal sexual relations. Why so long before pened with the campaign finance viothat Couldn't." a clear presidential denial of such lations, and it could happen here. Yet the press, for all its highrelations? What explains the hours This is where conservatives (and of tape of Lewinsky talking to Linda Republicans) have an important role. minded condemnations of Clinton ian Tripp? Perhaps most crucial, what Up to now, the Right has wisely stayed morality, certainly cannot look to anyone but itself for the public's current explains the 37 visits by Lewinsky to quiet, letting Clinton simmer in the lack of concern, since their focus has the White House, afier she was transface of criticism from his own party. in some ways created the problem. ferred to the Pentagon by a White Their role in the coming weeks should The implications of the Lewinsky afHouse manager concerned about not be to directly attack Clinton, but fair for Clinton have boiled down to Lewinsky's zealous attempts to get to monitor the developing situation two separate issues. The moral issue close to the President? and make sure the press remains vigiof Clinton's affair with Lewinsky is The attempts so far to exonerate lant in its quest for answers. All signs quite different from potential presithe President of these sexual allega.indicate that the public cares more dential obstruction ofjustice and subtions all bear trademark similariabout the perjury and obstruction ordination of perjury. ties. There are the ad hominem charges; they may watch the news for attacks on Kenneth Starr and Linda the titillation, but the titillation is not Now, the moral/sexual issue is by far the most appealing, ratings-wise. Tripp. There are the appeals to the so relevant when they decide their Surely, more people are interested in wonderful merits of the Clinton presiopinion as to Clinton's fate. The Right the sordid details of what went on dency (yes, it is apparently more should do all it can to make sure between Clinton and Lewinsky durthan simply staying out the way of relevant information is available to ing the throes of passion than what Federal Reserve Chairman Alan the public. MR may have transpired in their later Greenspan). There are the mysteri,----------------, . Th . . conversations. us one can underous rumors of the "rIght-WIng constand why media coverage of the spiracy" out to get the President. L . k cc.' b . d . ewms yaualr egms,procee s,and What do all these have m common? d I t t tall . Whil . . . ,en s~ . ',l:lO~, _ ~, },9.~.e,~, !l~~St.lQ~S . emterestm?quesbons, they are , ' . . .. " i ' ... ' 1. ....! _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _- - '

Read The Review! "" .

~... ~~__ __....__ .:__ .. _. ___ ', ____.__, ~~v~~ :~~ ~.~~~~:~~a~~~~~~,~::~ ~:.:~<_ ..c~~ru.:~~.,n~~ ,~::t~~~l~,~l?,.:~!:~~~.~?," : ~ •• ." _ •••• ,.·· ___

~_-...-..-...-"

'~w.' ''

.......'''' ... __

"i<>

_ _ __

"""~~~IIm~ ~\~ ~

The Univer, ~~!Y. 2!,;lVIichigan Racial Preferences Pledge

SATIRE UNIVERSITY FORM 1998-DIVILCB OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT 1:"'!-"-rRlT''''fIOSS: Sil:n and ('omph-If> chi .. (unn In all 1111' "'' .Hltl .. rulllptl:" n ' lurn II", HI .t E ,' op' ttl It I " I "Iin' Hf thr PrO'Solrh' nt . Npturn Ih,' lL\IZE (··t)I)~ In ~hlCtl ' nt ,\Hail" . Itdu!'!} thl' ~l .\ l ZI-: l 'UI)\' ttl ItlL\. Uduru IIH' «'FF·

'\'.. rn~ ' ·'OP), to [,'II'HUll" '", "U,",UIIIl\: lhal \011 "un ',

I1U _'

( hal 111' wi l li

Ihl '

IU':U;(,: ('up\ \\hid .. !:!II' "

)n!-!ill~d I\" drdflt-d 1'\' llw YOllllg" ('on~('I'\' ; lti\"l' ~ "rT('x;I" <n l 'T :\lI~till SJl( '('i ~ d th ; llIk ~ II) Ill\' \TT and tol l,!, i\tI~lin'~ own (',,"illllll/n ' to r I\wir \\,11 and wi "d"lll i

I ht· l (. ' ~· ()IfH'~ '

{II

Tt1t~ 1.I:'H~ GnEJ-:;\l

C"OflY C:fl.I".. tn UPS. If "Uti do nut wmH III hll nu t (hi", rill m . "ul .. tall \\1"" lo lU' 1 1' 1'1.11 ' 4-11 , n " unl l ht- UAIU< REB C'OI'Y 10 tht· n\~ p 'H Il'Iu' nl urStutf,' nC "ffalr" 'on that yuu "an h. , h .III I.,.. ~ U\ .'Y " ' I , ' ;WUU \' to tlH' \, .\\ Codr Co .. I",. AI.l. IIAII. nOI.l.l:"ila;W

Dear President Bollinger,

'" .

~T'I'~i

_ .1~ '.LI.-. - .··11"'1

the ':

· INSTR.UC1'lONS; . Fin in formrur . . " needed , ... .' ""'.' · in ..... tri . ,P· ticate~ ..,. .'., . · Send ONE '(l)c()py' t6tbe ' Of~ / fice of . GeJ:le~~ · . C9~~,~I:i f~rt shreddm ~ send 1 '(ONE) eo' ....•

tOCentr:i :ae:co~Cbi;Send: ('

~8::f!t:~1s~i81;'~:~!~·; · Under.Vi~·e : pfe8ident · t~r: Di~ ".

veisity~ ~d, Multicultufa)' Ind OCftrination.

not stop us in our quest!

' ~~~r~lw~ tM~='~'

Hence, Mr. President, 1 urge you to defend affinnative action and the use of racial preferences By Any Means Necessary, lest the antidiversity, anti-University forces strike a blow for that invidious phantasm they call Racial Equality.l understand that under such a system, qualified white and Asian-American applicans will be systematically passed over for positions in favor of black and Hispanic applicants with lower levels ofqualification. Though seemingly unfair to all concerned, I believe such a system is necessary, for without it, it is obvious that diversity will be a thing of the past here at the University.

'i '2,: 0

To see to it that the burden of the race preference system is distributed fairly,l hereby state that I, as a [circle one: white/Asian] person will gladly pay the same cost that race preferences place on other white:; and Asians, especially past and future applicants to the University. For this reason, 1am infonning you that 1am willing to vacate my position as a [circle one: student/faculty member/administrator] so that a suitable black or Hispanic person can replace me, contributing to your glorious program of diversity here at the University.

KGB ,

. ..,. •.:. :;,PilUIlc&t AP~lIoa IDdes .

1~~~~If~

I understand that if I fail to sign this fonn, but continue to support the practice and implementation of racial preferences in hiring, admissions, and other areas, I am a guiltless hypocrite, a shirker of duty, a weak-willed individual, and general troublemaker that enjoys '"..,...."

".:',.--

. ···U· · · ·S ···· E ···· "0'"

I wholeheartedly support diversity at the University of Michigan, by which I mean the blatant and arbitrary use of racial preferences in both graduate and undergraduate admissions. l strongly feel that the raison d'etre of the University lies in these and other fonns of social engineering. I know that you, President Bollinger, have decreed in your Master Campus Plan (Mein Kampus, p. 532 - Ed.) that "Diversity uber a//es!" I am in full support with your views and plans to make the University great again. The imperialist Powers that threaten us shall

. .. ...

FOR OFFICE: ' .

I, am a [circle one: student/faculty member/administrator] at the University of Michigan. (am outraged at the fact that some obviously whiny, overprivileged white suburbanites are suing the University just because they were denied admission due to their race. With this in mind, I am in full support of the University's systematic campaign to discredit and summarily dismiss any studies, findings, news reports, and individuals that happen to bring up the fact that the University is one of the most blatant users of race as a criterion for admission to the University. I gleefully stand behind the campaign of Provost Nancy Cantor, Associate Provost Lester P. Monts. and Law School Dean Jeffrey Lehman to scorn and/or suppress, revile, fear, and detest infonnation, views, and opinions that are contrary to the stated position of the University.

the benefits of your Master Plan for Diversity but refuses to pay the price that must be paid.

:,ikOJ;tomCE P~ QNLYl '"

tly signing this fonn, 1 hereby grant the University pennission to replace me with a black or Hispanic person. I am willing to continue my [circle one: studies/teaching/meddling] at an educational institution of lower caliber - even if it means Eastern Michigan - for the altruistic purpose of promoting greater racial hannony and diversity. Please infonn me as soon as my replacement is found.

,,'\,::::'"

::'>;:,,~;~::;: ,:

,:}:I

::.;:;'\: . : ··,;t All Hail Bollinger!

t~~O~lI=~~:,

x_________________________ I.""===-=---------r---=:---:-:------------------------J

F~Rl D~scribe, in fifty ":,ords or l~ss, and

A'ITENTION STUDENT Some general background roformation maybe needed. You may, as a result of your unique qualifications to the Administration, BE EXEMPT from your patriotic duty. AI (. 1 e you cu;c e all that apply):

• An angry white law student? • Editor of The Michigan Daily? • Editorial Page Editor of The Michigan Daily? • A columnist at The Michigan Daily? (Note! Certain columnists, due to their poor writing skills, may be instead transferred to The University Record instead of the New Code Gulag, under New Code Proviso 43.12.B (see Directive of Student Affairs Vice President Maureen Hartford, 1113/98) • A political agitator? • Feeling guilty? • Feeling guilty, white, and liberal? • A suburbanite? • The ownerofaJeep Cherokee or other Sport Utility Vehicle? • A regular reader of The Nation? • Owner of at least four ready-made protest placards? • .. .#

your"Fo,~ Ms8Jla,,;~il~nt;.Qt7 t<" ,t ' .,

Describe in fifty words or less, apology for: • White racism (or that of Asian

usmg the phrases oppressIOn," "conservatives," and "phallocentric," why whites are inherently fascist.

.c:le~~~.Jt°"Wy~ursupenox:: .. '. .'

qP'p~sedy~u,iii tiJJirl.g outthi8

storeowners)fC)~' by 'UDt:l1ilY'~g.hi(lpowet:

• Anglo racism (or that of Orange County residents) • American Indians suffering from five hundred years of imprisonment - oppression, and enslavement by th~ English, French, Dutch, Spanish, Russians, Americans, and other groups that probably had something to do with it.

iJ1Ji~re~t:w.tJle,supei:'ior~$U~..;.;:dinat,e ~~lati,c:.llShip· .:, ..

i '

"'Y':, .

i';

Ii ' .; ,<, . .•

, .. ...,: .:~¥.~i',;:;:,;:!: ,,( ·;",::1(' /':)

: SEI~lll~~UR CO~LETED

+,. . F ORM TO.

.!President Lee C. Bollinger ~\' :. ' Office of The President .•. ,. '. . •The Fleming Building "-:{,' 19S8Reichstagstrasse

Apologize for oppressing the blind, mute, deaf, and hard of hearing. In addition, explain why fat people should be a "protected group" under American discrimination law. Respond in Braille or pantomime (if pantomime, take precautions to ensure you do not get trapped inside an imaginary box!)

§~~;;~~~~=

PREFERRED NEW CODE GULAG CENTER:

:.OfIice of the A.uociate Auistant "" :Jleputy Under Vice President ,c ':for Indoctrination and ,.'.

• East Rutherford, NJ • Windsor, ONT

• Tupelo, MS

>#.

jl lf. ~~ ' t ', ··

... ._,._ ·•• •• ...,n" ... ........ ,.""... ~

' '. t .l J;- ~tl .~·

j , ). J

,~~,_ , ......_

_ ,·."''''',_ ..

• Lorton, VA (administer..d by' Wash

D.C.Departmetito'tCd~f " !;1

''''_..",,~

....

~·,'

..." •.•".,.<'....

....

~"". ,.,.. . _

"'_,,_~_._~,

',S

i;:;·:;~;J' ::.,~~t~~~';r.;-7:s~~\~J\.

i.' .·•.•

_ __ __

_ _ _ _ __

_ __ __

_ __ _ _ _-

o SPORTS

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

February 11, 1998

Finally ... . BvRoB WOOD

VER THE PAST YEAR OR so, a great many events occurred in the sports world that had not come to pass for quite some time. What had gone around for far too long finally came around, again. Not all of these "finally"s involved championships and football games; some were just issues that had taken far too long to resolve. Of course, looking back only covers half the glass of water. To look at the glass as halffull, the future must also be taken into account. Here's to what has been sipped over the past year and what may be toasted to in the next. It seems like years ago that Steve Shields was the star goalie for the maize and blue icers. His last name alone made him a memorable goalie, but he also had one very visible statistic (among many): he was the alltime NCAA victories leader. That record stood for years. One night a few weeks ago, however, Shields's successor, Marty Turco, decided it finally needed to come down - so he broke it. Marty Turco is now the winningest college hockey goalie ever. Congrats, Mr. Turco. During the 1996-97 NFL season, the Detroit Lions finished 5-11. They didn't make the playoffs and it seemed as though they had given up hope of ever doing so again. That's when Lions Owner William Ford finally decided to fire Wayne Fontes. It was about time he got his head out of, er, the sand. Tom Osborne had been pacing the sidelines for 25 years as Head Coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers. His teams won at least nine games and went to a bowl in each of those seasons. He finally decided to retire following the 1997 football season. Though he was such a great sportsman and first-class human being, one thing remains to be said: good riddance. Thi~en years~ That is how long the AFC had waited to experience a Super Bowl win. The NFC had proven its dominance time and again to every AFC team it had 'faced in the League's championship game, including three times against the John Elway-Ied Denver Broncos. John and the AFC finally ended that drought, last month. Kudos to you, John, even though you do live in Colorado. The Michigan men's basketball team fmally won a post-season tournament. Okay. so it was the wrong tournament. They still got a shiny little trophy. The Heisman Trophyis no longer

a perennial resident on the offensive side of the football. The award finally goes home with a primarily defensive player, as Michigan's own Charles Woodson brought it back to Michigan after a six- year absence. The NFL is getting as dominant a player in Charles Woodson as anyone who has ever taken the field. Backin 1955, a guy named Gordie Howe helped the Detroit Red Wings capture the last Stanley Cup Cham-

Guard may have to get kicked upstairs over at the Palace. It is a rather safe prediction that their retirement is imminent. Sorry guys, it may be time for the New Guard to check in. Another safe bet is that with all the young talent the Pistons have acquired, they'll be making a run at another championship, soon. It has been over 33 years since the Lions won a League Championship. That's what it was called the last time

Scotty Bowman and friends show off Stanley at the Big House.

pionship the Wings would earn until 1997. A team of guys with names like Konstantillov, Larionov, Kozlov, Federov, and Fetisov, along with Yzerman and a few others finally brought the Cup home to Hockeytown ... and there was much rejoicing. One last, great thing you all might remember, provided you didn't drink yourselves blind and into a vegetative state over it, is of course, the Michigan football team's national championship season. That team will never be forgotten by any of the maize and blue faithful. It was an unstoppable force, as it plowed through the competition like Roseanne through a buffet table. Being a Michigan Wolverine never felt so good. Predictions are usually best left to seers and clairvoyants, but there are those that can occasionally be made by the average sports writer, either through an obvious observation, or just based on hope alone. It has been seven years since the Detroit Pistons won an NBA Championship. The Bulls have established a bit of a dynasty, and all of the Bad Boys are long gone. Well, almost all of them. There are still two guys left in the Motor City from that era: Joe Dumars and Rick Mahorn. Dumars has been in the League for 12 years and Mahorn is in his 16th. Unfortunately, with new talent like Eric Montross, Grant Hill, a,nd Jerry Stackhouse now in the mix, the Old

,, >~ ,....,..~,~~

the silver-and-blue won it, as opposed to the current Super Bowl moniker. While it would be foolish to predict that the Lions .will become a legitimate force in the NFL anytime soon, it is pretty safe to predict that they have a better chance at making the Super Bowl if they drop Scott Mitchell; the sooner, the better. After Detroit won Lord Stanley's Cup last year, many Michiganders worried that Scotty Bowman might decide to relinquish the helm of the Red Wing juggernaut he helped build. After all, he's no spring chicken, and he has accomplished everything a person in his position can possibly accomplish. Fortunately for the team and its fans, Coach Bowman opted to remain in Detroit for one more season in the sun (or on the ice, as the case may be). Don't bet he'll stay after the season ends, however. The workdays he's been putting in all these years will end, and he will finally get to live in an environment with liquid water, for a change. Thanks for the memories, Coach. Getting back to going out on a limb, this year's Michigan men's basketball team has the capacity to be the best squad to step onto a court or the worst - depending on how widely televised the game happens to be (the bigger it is, the better they are). If they make it into the NCAA Tourney, and ifthey advance past the second round, count on another national championship in Ann Arbor

this year. As the limb gets thinner, the predictions become more based on hope than on reality, and the sports writer become less credible and more optimistic. This next statement stands on its own, for better or worse: the 1998 Major League World Series will be won by the Chicago Cubs. Remember, if by some miracle it actually happens, you heard it here first. One last hope-based prediction calls for the awakening of the rest of the sports world to the fact that auto racing is not a sport! Motor sports is an oxymoron. There is no such thing! Maybe the sports world isn't ready for that prediction, quite yet. That's okay. They aren't ready for a college football playoff system yet, either. To return to reality for the last (and best) prediction, the NBA must be revisited. It has been quite a few years since Larry Bird has taken home a championship ring. Because he's Larry Bird, and regardless of whether he's wearing a player's uniform or a coach's suit, the man is due. This year, he will collect. m

A Letter From the Superfan Hey everybody! Go Blue and God bless ya! I have some of the best and worst news I've ever given, and it's all the same thing. It has been decided that I would be better offgraduating this May, and not hanging around for another year. Therefore, the CCHA playoffs in midMarch will be the last official appearance of Superfan as you know it. There are plenty of kids that have wanted to do it, so there will be someone in that damn outfit, or one like it. Superfan will survive - it just won't be Jeff Holzhausen. Thanks to everyone for the memories, and I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to just going to a game and enjoying it with my friends in the seats I grew up in. You folks know me though, you can take Jeff out of the Superfan, but you can't take Superfan out of Jeff. I look forward to telling those Spartans and Buckeyes to "EAT S***" with my own face - and not behind the mask! God Bless Ya All, Go Blue Forever and Ever, Holz (The Artist Formerly Known as Superfan) af you're interes~d in becoming the next Superfan, 'or you have someone else in mind for the job, you can talk to Jeff about it via e-mail, at holzie@Umich.edu.)

ow.t

Show your support for our 1997 National Champion M ichiga n W ol verines. Order your authen tic, officially lice nce d National Champion merchandise today. Show off your new Michiga n National Cham ps Appare l wi t h Wolverine Pride! Al l designs are exclusive, a must have for every true Michiga n Wolverine fan, and are sure to become collector's items.

CALL TODAY TO PLACE

YOUR ORDER!

T-Shirts ................. $19.95 Caps ..................... $21.50 Sweatshirts .......... $39.95 Jackets ............... $159.00

Every order over $1 00 receives a fREE Michigan Wolverines National Champion Locker Room T-Shirt or Cap ($200.00 order = 2 free Locker Room items).

Sweatshirts • • • •

Ileavyweight Cotton Pre-shrunk High Quality Tea m Colors

Jackets

Caps

• • • •

• Embroidered • Team Colors • Adjustable

Team Colors Du rable Oxford Nylon Shell Detachable Hood Embroidered on sleeve, chest, and back • Thick Insulated Liner

FREE.

I T-Shirts/

Every order receives a fREE Michigan Wolverines National Champion catalog!

CALL TODAY TO ORDER! RUSH DELIVERY!

1-800-222-2119 ~ To pay by check, credit card or money order (please do not send cash) clip and send this order blank to: University Sportswear, 3319 South Greenfield Road, Suite #375, Dea rborn, MI 48120 S____ M ____ L____ XL____ XXL ____ S____ M ____ L____ XL ____ XXL ____ S____ M ____ L____ XL ____ XXL ____

Jackets: T-Shirts: Sweatshirts: Caps:

(One Size Fits All) ____

Name: ______________________________________ Address: ______________________________________

City:

State:

Q Money Order Credit Card: Q Visa Q Masterc.ard Card Holder 'ard Number

TOlal Amount _ _ __ _ _ _ __ ' Please include S5.00 SIH per order

Check

Free Locker Room Items: T-Shirts: S____ M ____ L____ XL ____ XXL ____ (One Size Fits All ) ____ aps:

Zip: _ _ ___

IpI. ... IOu .. d . ..!) I

Exp. Date --..J__

FAX Your Order To: 1-800-646-1170 All orders come with an unconditional 30-day money back guarantee. immediatelv. so that each customer receives their order within 2-5 days. ••• • •• Overni

. J ' ,.1'

~' J \

•

":.: .' .' <'

.:.tJ r ~

v.,- l

()

1 \ \. ~

available'··

l {i l

I '"

_ I

J. I

J'"

.i '»

:. '

"') "

'\~

_ - -- _.--- - - - - - - --

.... ...

.""

February 11, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o Hoops Du JOUR

Hoopsters Title Hopes Dashed BY ANDREW GoLDING

T HAS BEEN A YEAR FILLED with a firing, tons of rumors, the annual car accident, excitement over a solid start, disappointment over some recent conference losses, and the realization that the Big Ten title is almost completely out of the question. This year's men's basketball season has been interesting, not especially memorable, certainly not poor, but not filled with the moments which make fans and observers talk about on-court heroics with reverance years later. Three weeks ago, on January 20, the team was 14-4, tied for first in the Big Ten at 4-1, and thinking about a Big Ten title, which Michigan has not won since 1986. "I don't see any reason why we can't win" it, said junior center Robert "Tractor" Traylor at the time. "If we can pull off four or five road wins, I think we'll be fine." Five days later, U-M was trounced on the road versus Illinois, and again on January 29 at home against Purdue. Thoughts of a Big Ten title were shaky at best, and further dashed in their most recent contest, a 88-78 road loss to Minnesota (10-12, 3-8) on February 7. Presently 5th in the conference - Michigan State leads with a 10-1 record - it would be virtually impossible for UM 07-7, 7·4) to conclude the season on March 1 as the leaders and the best. In the Minnesota game, U-M jumped to an early 5-0 lead, and led at halftime by 2 points, but eventually fell due to a three-point shopping spree from several of the Golden Gophers who shot 14-20 from threepoint land, tying a conference record. U-M senior· and solid pro prospect Maceo Baston rebounded from a meager 10 point, 3 rebound performance against Northwestern two days earlier to score a career high 27 and haul down 7 rebounds. Still, Baston's efforts were not enough as U-M could not stop or match Minnesota from the outside. Against Northwestern on February 5, U-M played one of their most exciting games of the season, though it could be argued they did not start playing until the final nine minutes of the contest. U-M took an early 7-0 lead and convential wisdom should have led all in the arena to be on guard for a blowout. Northwestern resides in the cellar of the Big Ten standings seeroihgly every'year and

has followed suit this year, entering the game with a 1-7 conference record. They also have a new coach, the exciting Kevin O'Neill (see sidebar), and few players who are able to create their own shots off the dribble besides 6'11" senior center, Evan Eschmeyer. The Wildcats played well after some early difficulties and took the lead with eleven minutes remaining in the first half, pushing it to seven points at halftime. No matter Northwestern's impressiveness, the real story was U-M's horrendous play: having to force numerous attempts with the shot clock running down, missing several easy layups and dunks, launching mostly perimeter jumpers, and shooting 40 percent through the first twenty minutes compared to Northwestern's 61 percent clip. Overall, U-Mlooked uninspired, and frustrated with their own ability to get anything started. The play of the team was best exemplified by the team's two big men, Baston and Traylor, who each acted out their frustrations in different ways. Near the end of the half, one in which he finished with four points and one rebound, Traylor received the ball in the post and decided he would dunk the ball by any means necessary. The only problem was somebody was in the way, the 240 pound Eschmeyer. It was no surprise when Northwestern's star center took a colossal tumble, nor when Traylor was called for an offensive foul. After all, Traylor is "listed" at 6'8", 300 pounds, and is not referred to as the "Tractor" for being skinny. Baston engaged in his own battle with Northwestern's Napoleon Harris, and seemed to mentally take himself out of the game in the process. A 6'4" freshman forward on loan from the Wildcats football team, Harris displayed an ability to play defense, push Baston around, deny him the ball and generally annoy UM's 6'9", 210 pound senior forward in the process. Baston's numbers mirrored Traylor's in the first half as he was actually outplayed by Harris,a player of much less ability, experience, and height. Early in the second half, O'Neill inserted Harris into the game, realizing he was able to effectively neutralize Baston in the first half. At once, the war began in the paint area. Jockeying for position down low, Harris bumped Baston out of the post and Baston responded with a rake to the ..." ...

" .•. ,

eyes, albeit accidentally. While Harris tried to clear his vision, he was called for the foul as the official apparently only saw the push. Nevertheless, the jockeying continued as the two players were called for a eombined seven second half fouls. U-M fell behind by as many as twelve points before mounting a charge led by senior forward Jerod Ward and junior guard Robbie Reid. How Hollywood-esque it was for Ward and Reid to lead the run, two players who each have been frustrated in their respective U-M basketball careers. Ward, the enigmatic, oft-injured, streaky jumpshooter, was ranked in the top five of high school players four years ago (see sidebar). His career at U-M has been filled with injuries and ifhe can finish this season without incident, it will be the first full season he has played in his four years here. For Reid, a first-year transfer from Brigham Young University, losing the startingjob he held for the first twenty-one games of the season was upsetting. "It's been dis..-'"#<' appointing to come off the bench" he said in the postgame press conference. "It's been a disappointment." Ward started the 9-0 run with a free throw and nailed a three-pointer to end it, sandwiched between five Reid points, to cut the Northwestern lead to three at 52-49. The relatively silent crowd which had nothing to cheer about for most of the game was suddenly energized, and Traylor added to the hysteria by waving his arms furiously in the direction of the fans. U-M took the lead on a Ward dunk with 4:15 remaining and two Ward free throws with six seconds remaining clinched a hard fought, 74-67, U-M victory. Soon after though, the relief over the Northwestern win was met with disappointment over the loss to the Golden Gophers. Again, U-M did not seem to feel a sense of urgency until late in the game and by the time they did, they could not make a run to salvage a win. Buoyed by Baston's hokhoting and a late push, U-M cut the lead to as little as six with fiftysix seconds remaining, but the Minnesota win was a mere foul-shoting formality. This week, U-M meets Ohio State at home before a February 17 showdown on the road versus Michigan State. In their earlier encounter, UM easily dispatched their in-state rival, 79-69, but MSUhas goneundefeated in the Big Ten since that meeting. Mt

-~"-.,,~--,.,,-.~~

....

....•..,.,-, ...-,,

--~

......,,"""-,,-,--_.

PIZZA PIZZA: The Superfan, graduating School of Public Health student Jeff Holzhausen, made himself heard during the Northwestern game as usual, and also offered his thoughts during a particularly quiet point in the contest. In the midst of U-M's lackluster play, when they seemed unable to pass the 40 point barrier, Holzhausen wondered aloud "Can we get pizza if they score 40 points?" He was referring to the Cottage Inn pizza promotion, which offers ticketholders a 50% discount on their meals ifU-M scores 70 points or more. Though they had only 27 points at halftime, U-M rebounded and scored an impressive 47 in the seconds half, guaranteeing the pizza deal for all in attendance. FROM THE SoURCE: Northwestern coach Kevin O'Neill is known for his expletive filled language, and he did not disappoint during the U-M game as he could be heard vigourously disagreeing about a foul call from the 12th row, on the opposite side of the arena. After the game, O'Neill offered his thoughts on a couple subjects. On his team: "This time of year, our guys usually fold up and have a book club." On U-M: "I think talent might have taken over... Bullock's the glue of their team - he makes a lot ofthings happen." On Traylor: "1 think hell be a great NBA player. I was amazed at his feet and hands. I think he should get his ass out of here right now. " FISH IS BACK, SORT OF: Deposed U-M coach Steve Fisher has returned to public view, through an interview with the Detroit News, his first since being fired on October 11, and a deal to analyze college basketball for a sports web site, FANS-only, hailed as "Your Ticket to College Sports." In the interview with the News, Fisher stated that his firing "wasn't justified" and "the die was cast before I ever met Tom Goss." Additionally, he might have to sue the University regarding the payment of the final three years on his contract, and plans to move out of Ann Arbor in the near future. "We need to leave here, to cut the cord" he said. "Maybe down the road, the scar will fade." Also, he noted, "with no disrespect to Brian Ellerbe," that "Brian Dutcher had been there for ten years, and in mind, should have been the logical choice." Fisher's columns for FANS-only have analyzed the DukeUNC match up, and, ironically, how to handle a high-profile program. WORDS, WORDS, WORDs: In the Northwestern postgame press conference, Jerod Ward used "nonchalant," a word not heard often among the press core. "We came out a little nonchalant," Ward noted, drawing a small chuckle from those in attendance. When told that Ward had used the word "lackadaisical" to describe U-M's play - the questioning reporter confused "lackadaisi-

February 11, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Letters to the Editor U-MAlu~,

Continued from Page 3

be wealthy. This is not the case for most conservatives, and to assume so is preposterous. To assume that I have done no research on the Environmental Theme Semester simply because I criticize it is also preposterous. Indeed,I attended Ye Olde Wonderful Theme Semester Kickoff, along with examining much ofthe on-line (and off) documentation of the program. Much of the so-called environmental science is slanted, tilted, or in other ways biased to show that yes, indeed, the Sky is Falling. Indeed, many of the buzzwords used in your letter (social justice, for example) are indicative of the extreme socialism that many environmentalists would have us live under. And in {act, if you compare the platforms of the Green Party and the Nazi Party, there are some really striking similarities. Lastly, I am outraged at the suggestion that the citizens of an aggressor Japan during World War II were somehow victims ofthe United States. I fail to see how the atom bombing which saved hundreds of thousands ofAmerican lives by doing away with the need to invade Japan - is different from that of any other bombing conducted by the United States, or any other power for that matter:, during the war. Indeed, far more Japanese were killed during the fire bombing of Japanese cities than any atomic weapon. And let us look at those which were victims of the Japanese during World War II: • thousands killed during the sneak attack at Pearl Harbor • tens of thousands killed and tortured during the Rape of Nanking in 1937 • thousands killed during the Bataan Death March • God knows how many Chinese, Thais, Burmese, Vietnamese, and others killed during the 1931-1945 hostilities on the Asian mainland. • The Chinese killed and mutilated while in the N azi-esque clutches of Japanese "medical experimentation" units, which performed horrible experiments on them. • We can't, of course, forget the brutal subjugation of the entire K0rean people by the Japanese from 1910-1945, nor the thousands ofKorean women forced into prostitution for the Japanese army. I find it extremely difficult to have any sympathy for any aggressor nation that conducts such acts against the rest of mankind. The use of the atom bomb against Japan might well be a subject to be ashamed of and regret had Japan not started the war

,i'1L~,IJ':~tfc!~;~(~''ila~:..::~:L::±':

Grad Student "Admires" Review

READ WITH NODDING HEAD and a great desire to jump up and say "amen" (which would have been unseemly, at least, in the law library), your article, "Ben's Worst of Winter 1998." I am in a unique situation here at U-M. I ani an LSA grad, 1976. I am also the mother of a current U-M junior, and a grad student in the School of Information. I look upon not only the current offerings, but the current requirements (re diversity), with alarm and concern, both as a parent and an alumna. I am so sick of this need for undergrads to sympathize w/felons (a la American Culture 410 and the ever present "Free Mumia" flyers (I'mfrom Philly, apparently "COP KILLER" doesn't mean anything in Ann Arbor]); this debasement of men in the name of raising women's self esteem, and the apparent inability for anyone of color to recognize that dead white men made not only valid, but continually valid, contributions to this country and culture has me concerned about the nature of "education" at the University ... My son was warned (by me) not to take anything with "women" in the title; the same was true for any black studies courses. I say this being a woman who was moderately active in the "movement" many years ago, and as a black female. Being that my son is only halfblack andveryfair skinned, I know from my own personal experiencewhatitisnotto be "black enough." Iamnotpaying$19,700+peryear for him to be ridiculed for genetics and testosterone. As an aside, I also read your article about the MLK Symposium and agree that we at UM never see the likes of Walter Williams (a god), Thomas Sowell or God forbid, Clarence Thomas. When I was an undergrad we never had days off for legal holidays. What happened, and who took over who's office, that MLK day is a day off? I celebrated MLK day as I usually do, working, which I think is the what most people (especially blacks) should be doing. I was fortunate to have an education and a good job (attorney), partially due to forerunners such as Dr. King. What better tribute than to go to work that was unavailable to many in my J>arents' ""J.''J~l!i

generation, instead of sitting home and watching Oprah? Or worse yet, going to some bitch and moan MLK Day "celebration" to cry about "what the white man done to me." I admire the work you and the staff ofthe Review are doing. What is your circulation on campus? These young people are so apolitical, I doubt they even know your publication exists. Keep up the good work anyway,

I would hope you would not be so closed-minded as to condemn a forum like English 411, a class that, at worst, offers a chance for our community to grow through a sharing of opinions. KRISTEN MCKEE CENTER FOR PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Bockhorn's Thought a Grad Student "Dying Breed" "Disappointed" by "Ben's I Worst" PATRICIA KATOPOL

MIcmGAN GRAD, MIcmGANMOM

...

(Note: This letter was condensed for length.)

AM WRITING TO RESPOND to Lee Bockhorn's recent article on the Environmental Semester at U of M. More specifically, I'm responding to the allegations of property rights abuse by the hordes of 'M NOT EXACTLY SURE HOW screaming hippie environmentalist . you did your research for your Naomi Wolf types (go team!). Frankly, I find the author's lack article of 1121198 regarding Ben's Worst. I was very disappointed to of understanding of environmental find such bad publicity for English ""g'cience (and law) to be somewhat unfortunate,givenhischosentopic. Con411. Unlike other courses I have taken here at the University, where I servatives frequently bandy property infringement as evidence of the evils indeed agree with you that the in· structor or ruling majority was trying of environmental law . However, does to convincethe others of their point of it ever occur to them that the history view, English 411 is a very valuable of environmental law has its roots course that provides a comfortable quite solidly in Anglo-American comand open atmosphere for discussing mon .law? Many of the' first environ.the students' and instructors' varying mental lawsuits are tort cases resultopinions regarding prison issues toing from damage of private citizens' day. property by polluters. [... J It seems , I do not understand your. aversion that this sort of property rights violato pertinent present day realities that tion elude. the thinking of many conservatives, who mistake "private propyou mentioned in your other criticisms :.- such· as television; popularerty rights" for "let the wealthy do whatever they want". Case in point: culture, race, gender, ethnicity and in particular, prisons. Perhaps these Bockhorn discusses the failure oflegtopics are not as elegant, traditional islators to consider loggers when proand' European as you would like them tecting the spotted owl. [ ... ] Further, to be, but they are very pertinent the 1990 amendment to the Clean Air topics which affect people in our UniAct creates a system of tradeable polversity and our society in very real lution permits, by which polluters may ways. buy and sell the rights to pollute. There are many issues surroundThere are a limited number of pering prisons (crime, funding, justice, mits issued [... ]This provides incengovernment, safety, justice, death) tive to pollute less, and is a clear that directly affect the lives of every (overstated) success ofthe use of marstudent here at Michigan. As a teachket dynamics in cleaning up the enviing assistant for that course I encounronment. The narrow conception of teredanumberofvaryingopinionsproperty rights to which the author many which caused my own to beBockhorn.subscrlbesisthatofa(hopecome better developed. I do apprecifully) dying breed. The political, soate your effort to make known some cial, economic, and ecologic life of instructors' use of University classes people everywhere depends on to blindly divulge their doctrine withsmarter policy considerations. out listening to students. However, CHAD BAILEY regardless of your point of view on

!fi!J! ~~~ef;~1f~ .~e~~}r?~~fA~~Y.'l

b~'<>~'!~~~t9!.~~Cc:~m&

.......

1 18 -~' - ,

MICHIGAN REVIEW LIVING CULTURE

Music

February 11, 19981

Buy These, l'{ot Titanic's Track

BY CHRIS HAYES

TARTING OFF, I WANT TO say that it is about time. Finally there are some albums being released that are worth talking about. For some unknown reason, the record industry finds it necessary to take the entire months of December and January off and leave the world of music bare of any notable releases. Why do you think every music column you read has a "Year in Review禄 in either December or January? No, they aren't that fun to write. I t is because there is nothing else worth writing about. Finally, your favorite record store's shelves are being filled with fresh albums. Things are slowly getting back on track. To get you back in the swing of it all and thinking about cool rock and roll again,here are some albums that are worth checking out. Pearl Jam Yield Epic Records Pearl Jam is without a doubt one of the most popular bands today. They are also the most mainstream of bands that doesn't act like one. Even after five full-length albums, they still act and , for the most part; sound like an jndie band out of Seattle. They stand by their "small band ethics"- fighting Ticket Master, not shooting any videos since their debut album, releasing CD's for fan club members only, and contributing to as many charity and tribute compilations as possible. Despite all these antics that no other successful band would consider trying to pull off, Pearl Jam remains amazingly popular. Absolutely huge. They are close to a religious cult. Rarely does a band of such magnitude possess such a loyal and devoted audience of this size. Devotees who consider themse~ves "not big fans" still can rattle off the songs Pearl Jam played on their first appearance on Saturday Night Live almost six years ago. It is this devotion that has made Pearl Jam's latest release Yield such an anticipated album despite many unfavorable reviews since their debut ofTen . Yield will sell a lot. There is no question of that. It will enter the Billboard Top 200 at numero uno and stay there for a few weeks despite how good or bad the album is. That is the comfort of being in Pearl Jam's shoes. The discomfort comes from the pressure of releasing an album and always having it compared to Ten , and then ca lled inferior.

Si~een Horsepower's twist on country rock succeeds with fright. Yield is Pearl Jam's most successwhile still moving forward. ", -'~ well as of sin. Sixteen Horsepower recreates the ful attempt to tackle and overcome category of Southern Rock by bringSixteen Horsepower that discomfort. In short, Yield is ing it all back to basics. There is not a Low Estate rock and roll in the same realm as Ten moment in Low Estate that is free of A&M Records . Pearl Jam strays away from the emotion and expert instrumentation . world of experimentation to do what Every strum ofthe banjo, every pluck If one was to open up the booklet they do best. Sure, it took them three ofthe stand up bass, and every twangy and read the lyrics to Sixteen albums of hits and misses to come to cry of vocals speaks the honesty of Horsepower's new album, Low Esthis conclusion, but the result is a living in a modern world while being tate, one would swear that they were collection of tight rock songs driven torn apart by one's belief in tradiby their most rhythmic and energetic passages taken straight from the tional religion . guitar playing ever. Bible. That is the way the quartet Mike McCready and Stone from Denver wants it. Never in the Sixteen Horsepower brings Gossard display amazing talent and modern era of rock has a band spoken their original sound to the Golden growth as song writers and guitar with such frankness and energy about Dollar in Detroit on February 21. players. The opening tracks "Brain of the truths of God, love, and sin than J." and "Faithfull" provide a powerful Sixteen Horsepower does on their latest release. The strange thing is that Hum look into the energy McCready and Downward is Heavenward Gossard perform consistently this technique, unlike the washed out RCA praise sung by modern Christian throughout Yield . A base like this, groups, is truthfully haunting and combined with Eddie Vedder's unique Most people remember Hum for strikingly beautiful at the same time. cry. of spirituality and everyday life, their sleeper hit three years ago. The Raised in the presence of a allow for an exploration in production one that went "She missed the plane Nazarene minister, frontman David that either was not attempted or sucto MarsiShe's outback counting stars." Edwards, combined with three other cessful on Pearl Jam's previous work. Yeah, that one. Their album You'd traditional musicians, brings an old A careful listen to Yield reveals clever Prefer an Astronaut was enjoyed by time preaching and traditional southand sometimes subtle additions such the hrave souls who could handle the as a processed voice of Vedder on "Do ern music to an era often defunct of mid-song tempo jumps and rollerthe Evolution," jet planes passing such power in music. Sixteen Horsecoaster ride that the album took you power is as much torn between music overhead on the melodic masterpiece on. genres as it is with spirituality. Step''Wishlist,'' and the pollution of city sounds on the poetry-like "Push Me, . ping both into classic rock and roll and modern beats, 16 HP remains as Pull Me." timeless as the Bible itself. ReminisYield may just be enough to reescent of early Southern and Appalatablish Pearl Jam as not just one of Continued on Page 19 chianjigs and polkas with banjos and the most popular and powerful rock washboards, Edwards twists and bands of the nineties , but one that is squeezes out the comfort with his able to find their place back where tales of torment and love of God as they are most comfortable. All this

----- - : =- - - - - -- - - - - -- ---- --- -- - ---- . -:~ - - - - - -- --- - ----- - ----::~ - :: :--:=:-- ~

IMtl-I:f.,.., ..~~路A \.~i' t....\'i)h~.;N.

ebruary11,1998

MICHIGAN REyIEW LIVING CULTURE ";:~'~~': ~~~.~'- _'~"'- .,:.

19 \

fl:n 'Book§

A Return to Retro BY

AMY

MA.rnROWICZ

REMEMBER MY ONE AND only pair of underroos with mixed emotion. In my Wonder Woman underroos I felt transformed from a skinny six-year-Qld to a courageous superhero. I felt invincible; one day in kindergarten, believing that I could fly, I launched head first . into a pile of huge wooden building blocks. This accident left me with a permanent bump in my forehead and ended my delusions of superheroic grandeur. From that day on, I have harbored a resentment of all things involving Linda Carter. The older I become, the more the nostalgia seeps into my childhood memories. There are hundreds oflittle things that trigger these memories; to help all who grew up in the 1970s and 1980s remember those little things we thought we had forgotten comes the book RetroHell: Life in the

70s and 80s from Afros to Zots. RetroHell is brought to you by the editors of Ben is Dead magazine and overflows with nostalgic artifacts from the recent past. It reads as an encyclo-

Buy These Continued from Page 19

Hum has returned with Downward is Heauenward, the Champaign, Illinois quartet's fourth album and second on RCA. Their style and technique has been left almost unaltered. They attempt to create an atmosphere and mood caught somewhere between space-rock, grunge, and power-pop. Strangely, it seems comfortable and appropriate this time around. The album is amazingly cohesive in its wild ride. Despite rapid and drastic tempo changes, all is kept gelled by thick and fuzzy guitar tones, with Matt Talbott tying it together with his pleasingly simple mid-west acoented vocals. Downward is Heavenward's complexity is balanced by a strong sense of melody. Although not always noticeable, the memorable melodies keep the songs sounding like songs instead of a disarray of experimentation. Many of the songs make you want to sing and ... you figure out the rest. However, it would be an injustice to deny Hum's ability to experiment and succeed with that experimentation. They can add breaks in the most

pedia, an A to Z guide of the pop culture that has dominated life over the last 20 years. Not just a mere documentation of the recent past, it examines a generation's fascination with all things retro. The notion of recycling the past has always been a hip one, and now the 1970s and 80s are getting their moment in the spotlight. This fact becomes undeniable as fashions return to bell-bottoms and platform shoes. Fashion magazines even predict a shift back to the big-shoulder, bright look of the 1980s. Retrohell has its finger on the pulse of this cultural phenomenon and serves as a user friendly handbook in navigating a retro world. Ranging from the obvious to the obscure, the editors who compiled this book reminisce about it all, adding personal histories to the factual material. Many pages are graced with photographs of pop culture icons like Farrah Fawcett and the Jackson 5, games like Operation and Dungeons and Dragons, personal illustrations, and so on. You get the idea. In fact, the A-Team van makes a pictorial apunlikely of places and still have the listener follow . They can layer a song with a disgusting amount of distorted and raging guitars and still have fans of Rick's shelling out beer money to buy the album. Songs such as "Afternoon with the Axolotls," "Green to Me," and "Com in' Home," display the diverse talent of Hum as a group. They all have highs and lows that almost do not make sense, but by being held together by that single thread, makes the album and the band what it is undeniably addictive.

Hum plays St. Andrew's Hall February 21 with the Promise Ring. Mt

Want to \\Titt, IIllisil''! If ~' oll'n' intl'I'\'skd in t'('\' il'win~ thl' latl'st hooh.s, musil', 1l10\·it,s and mOI'(' , ph'as(' l'ontad l{l'istina al ' is 01'

(IHln! 1'1<0\'«" ' 11 III il'h .I'd \1) 01'

( ' h I'is

pearance on page 284 (under V for vans). Most people can remember such things as pop rocks, lite brites, and glam rock, without delving too far into their unconscious mind. There are some things, however, that are very personal and play out like childhood melodramas. Remember eraser burn? Unless you have ever vigorously erased the flesh on the top of your hand during some bout of childhood boredom, these sort of entries would mean very little. Still, it would probably stir a laugh and a comment like "Gosh, kids are dumb!" We live in a fast-paced culture full of stuff. And it is that stuff, the stuff we need and must have, that is constantly changing. By the time I had caught on to the Garbage Pail Kids craze, they were nothing more than a dirty, half-peeled sticker on the inside of a fliptop school desk. I noticed the same thing happened about four years ago when my little brother and all of his friends collected every pog under the sun only to slam them into oblivion by the summer's end. Pogs will probably resurface af-

ter a healthy ten-year shelflife. Until then, we'll just have to wait. RetroHell documents these snippets of youth and gives them a historic point of reference while paying homage to their short-lived yet phenomenally popular moment in time. It reads as an amusing stream of anecdotal tales and clever, biting thoughts reveal scathing com.mentary. As each person replays his or her own E .T ., monster truck show or After School Special experience, we witness a portrait ofinnocence, or the loss of innocence. It is not surprising that a generation described as "cynics" or "slackers" would treat nostalgia realistically and satirically. Yet, there are some romantic interludes in the book that will open a floodgate of memory, washing over you with all those things you thought you had forgotten. It is the closest thing I have found to traveling back to a time when, just for a second, I thought that if I leapt into the air high enough with my arms outstretched and with the power of my Wonder Woman undies, I might actually fly. l\R

JOIN THE REVIEW! Call Ben, Lee, or Chris at 647-8438 or e-mail us at mreV®Umich.edu Find out what you're missing!

f l'ha~' I's <!' lI III i(.' h.l'd 1I)

infonnatilln. Ot', at liI7-Kt:IH. W(,'eI Ill' Itl lall, with ~' O\l and

1'01' mOJ'I'

('all

llS

happ~'

ans\\'('" al1~' qlu ' stions you III

ight han ' ,

....... " ..... " .._. _",,,,, .....,,......

.."..................

, - _. _-

..."'''..-..---------

~,,--.-

, ', ~

. L4.R·G!E: 'WlE:N"II: OPEN 7 DAYS: SUN. 11 A.M.- MIDNITE MON. -TUES. 11A.M.-1A.M. WED. - SAT. 11A.M.-)A.M.

EAT IN OR CARRY OUT

. :-'E'LI'V . '

...

VOTED BEST MEXICAN FOOD _ BY MICHIGAN DAILY READERS 1995 ,...."...~

-""'f:

G'RAND PRIZE WINNER! Chile Pepper Magazine's Fiery Food Challenge, Hot Salsa Division

"Iii

l;§ ~r

' ",,,,,~ ~

v~"P

•

¢'

~ ~

..-

(g!~

I. .

" "' ~~$ I

_ _-

_ .. ... _...... .......

..... ................" ............

_---------------

-"...........................". ".......- ...............-~...~.~~. ........--...-.---.--.~-..--.....--.-~..~----'"....-~-----_.... "