vol_17_no_3

SAPAC: Sex, Lies, and Statistics fondling under their umbrella definition. By doing so, SAPAC literature distributed to students fails to distinguish between actual rape, and improper petting. Using this definition, SAPAC claims a total of 130 sexual assault reports last year to three agencies (85 to SAPAC, 12 to DPS, 33 to the Ann Arbor Police Department). However, it is uncertain which of these {beyond the 5 DPS reports mentioned in the above paragraph), involve both female Michigan students, and acts more severe then fondling. The figure for the Police obviously includes both students and residents, and all figures include male victims as well. Furthermore, it is probable that significant cross-over exists among the figures (I.e., victims who reported being assaulted·to DPS likely contacted SAPAC and the Police De-

BY JACOB OSLICK

A

T EVERY SUMMER orientation, the University welcomes new freshmen with a series of lectures on how to adjust to campus life. They are introduced to the University computer system, instructed about how to "CRISP," and warned about the dangers of sexual assault.

The last topic obviously is one of extreme importance to the University community. Unfortunately, theSAPAC (Sexual Assault, Prevention, and Awareness Center)-sponsored discussion they all attend contains immaculate falsifications and wildly inflated statistics. As a result, it creates an unjustifiable climate of fear and apprehension, instead of properly educating new students.

For example, one of the mostpopular statistics SAPAC frequently cites is a 1989 study by Mary Koss, under the direction of Ms. Magazine, claiming that lout of 4 women is sexually assaulted during their college years. Yet as Brian Carnell points out, Koss's own study indicates that 73% of the women she identified as "victims" did not "characterize their sexual encounters that way when asked directly." Rather, the women answered a series of questions, after which Kbss herself determined whether they had been sexually assaulted. Indeed, Koss's study also shows that 42% of the "victims" continued to engage in intercourse with their attacker," after the" assault" occurred.

The actual statistics vary significantly. Last year on campus, the University Department of Public Safety reported a total of 5 (not the predicted 188) forcible rapes, sodomies, and sexual assaults with an object. Given that there are roughly 12,000 undergraduate females, this works out to one woman out of every 150 as the actual reported statistic.

Of course, if you enter SAPAC's offices V (lU \', ill be quo ted significantly II

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SAPAC: The Ministry of Truth and Love? different figures . One reason is that SAPAC utilizes a much looser definition of sexual assault than Koss. Unlike

Koss, who only considered acts of penetration as '~sexual assault," SAPAC also includes unwelcome or forcible

See SAPAC on Page 8

-~

Proposition One Ignites Debate BY c.J. CARNACCHIO

O

N NOVEMBER THIRD, Washtenaw County voters will be confronted will a ballot proposal to finance the Purchase of Development rights (PDR) from local farmers through a 0.4 mill property tax on Washtenaw residents. The PDR tax increase on all property owners would be used to create a new county department whose purpose would be to study, acquire, and administer the development rights of county farmland .

The program is expected to raise $32 million over the next ten years. Half of these funds would be used to purchase the development rights on land that is currently used for agriculture.

Twenty-five percent of the funds would be used to acquire open-space lands.

Fifteen percent of the funds would go to urban revitalization. The remaining

ten percent would be used for planning and technical assistance available to local governme ntal units within Washtenaw County.

• Under the PDR program, farmers would still retain ownership of their land, but the county would be the only legal entity with the right to develop the land. The plan was conceived in an effort to prevent what has been termed "urban sprawl" - the development of strip malis, sub-divisions, and the resulting traffic congestion.

According to Save Our Land, Save Our Future (SOLSOF), a local organization . campaigning for Proposition One, Michigan loses ten acres of its farmland every hour to development.

They also claim that between 1982 and 1992 Michigan lost 854,000 acres of farmland. Their claims are based on the United States Department of Agriculture's National Agricultural

Statistic's Service Agency's definition offarmland, which is land that is "zoned as agricultural, or in some cases rural/ residential, which could produce crops if farmed." This extremely broad definition could encompass golf courses, parks, and parking lots as well as lands where actual crops are produced.· According to state and federal agricultural agencies, between 1982 and 1992, cropland in Michigan acrually increased by 0.10 percent. Cropland, being defined as land on which crops are actually produced, increased from 8,614,000 acres to 8,623,000 acres. Michigan has 108 undeveloped acres of land for every 1,000 residents. This is seven times more than the national average of 15 acres for every 1,000 residents.

Washtenaw Citizens for Respon-

See PROPOSAL ONE on page 5

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(INSIDE!

Shepard's death as political fodder in his latest "Lanterns and Lances."Page 7

• Managing Editor c.J. Carnacchio interviews liThe Man" in his latest installment of "Send Law'yers, Guns & Money." Page 6

• Campus Affairs Editor Ben Rousch examines diversity and liberal arts at the University and makes a few suggestions. Page 8

• Editor-in-Chief Lee Bockhorn chastizes the Left for using Matthew

• Contributing Editor Matthew Buckley examines political ads and tells politi-

-- - ··, _

_

_

cians "Liar, liar, pants on fire." Page 10 • Staff Writer Jay Figurski examines the Left's victory in Germany, while 'David Guipe verbally pummels Geoffrey Fieger. Page 11 • Arts Editor Torn Jolliffe reviews Oprah's new film Beloved. And Tommy likes it. He really likes it. Page 13

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• Music Editor Chris Hayes interviews . Lilith Fair veteran Heather Nova about the burdens of being attractive and talent.ed. Page 14 • Staff Writer Michael Austin funks it up with Fatboy Slim. Whatever that means. Page 15 • Much, much more!

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2

October 28, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

THE MICHIl~AN REVIEW

o SERPENT'S TOOTH

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan

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"Campus affairs - shaken, not stirred."

EDITORIAL BOARD

While pro-lifers often hold candlelight vigils to remember the lives that aborted children never get to lead, Students for Choice recently held a vigil to show their need for the right to choose (or perhaps mock their opponents). Some less-publicized events the organization sponsors are the annual Yom Kippur pork roast, Valentine's Day hate rally, and Easter march in favor of the crucifixion of religious figures.

Attention! Attention! Barely used, impeccably white sheets left over from the Review's Halloween party are now available for purchase! (Warning - some sheets may have holes cut out.)

Dan Granger: Pig-in-a-Pokey. We look forward to reading his prison letters in MIMNotes.

Ah, yes - fall has arrived. The leaves are turning colors. If it were up to the

leaves, they would happily remain green all year; however, with the wave of his magic wand, President Bollinger commands the green foliage to change into other colors. Apparently green isn't diverse enough.

Halloween is almost upon Ann Arbor.

Serpent's Tooth would like to know: how we are supposed to tell the difference between those dressed up to celebrate the night, and the city's normal collection of freaks, weirdos, and evolutionary U-turns?

Well, you have to hand it to the sports staff of the Daily; those guys really know their college football. So far this season the Daily's three" experts/' Sharat Raju, Jim Rose, and Mark Snyder, are a pathetic 102-116-3 on picks against the spread, and an awful 8-10 on their supposed "Best Bets." FYI, .500 is considered the "Mendoza Line" for sports forecasters. Get your degrees, gents -

A Note To Our Readers "Serpent's Tooth" has always been a place in which we try to laugh at the foibles of liberalism in academia and politics. It is not always a tasteful place, nor in fact do we think that it should be. Modem politics is hardly a civil arena, and if the Left has outlets to get in itS below-the-belt licks, then so should we.

However, in a recent "Serpent's Tooth" we quipped that, given the abortion-rights stance of several Daily editorials, and specifically the writings of Editorial Page Editor Jack Schillaci, we wished that Schillaci's mother "had been a lot more pro-choice about two decades ago." This was clearly outside the bounds of good taste, and we apologize to Mr. Schillaci for the insult We should note two things, however. First, there is a point to be made regarding the pro-choice lobby and abortion - one we should have made more dearly in the joke. Pro-choice advocates typically invoke the refrain that pro-lifers should put themselves in the role of a poor mother, struggling to survive, who finds that she is pregnant. What, the pro-choicer asks, should we tell them? What would you do in her position? This is certainly a valid question. Therefore, putting a pro-choicer into an analogous moral quandary should also be fair game. Thus, it is a valid question to ask a prochoicer how they would feel if they were a fetus being aborted. This point, though poorly made, is what we were trying to get at in the joke.

Second, we should note that "Serpent's Tooth" is not always going to be perfectly acceptable to everyone, particularly those on the Left. This space is meant to be humorous, and the "Marquis of Queensberry/l rules don 't necessarily apply here. Matters of taste are a grey area. However, it seems that one could well begin with the rule "Thou shalt not tar one's political opponents by wishing them dead via a politically charged method of death. This rule makes sense, and we broke it. For that, again, we apologize. /I

The Editors

you sure aren't going to make a living betting college football in Vegas. These guys must have been Pete Rose's gambling advisers.

And speaking of sports, all you obnoxious New Yorkers (saying obnoxious and New Yorkers is a bit red undant, we know) can put away your Yankee caps, T-shirts, etc., which have flooded the campus after New York's World Series victory last Wednesday. What's the big deal? All George Steinbrenner did was win the annual contest to see which owner can buy the best team, which is essentially all that the World Series determines now. Give him the payroll of the Pittsburgh Pirates and see if you'd stay as brash as you are.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: PUBLISHER: MANAGING EDITOR: CAMPUS AFFAIRS EDITOR: ARTS EDITOR: FEATURES EDITOR:

Lee Bockhom Sang Lee C. J. Camacchio Ben Rousch Tom Jolliffe Julie Jeschke

EDITORIAL STAFF ASSISTANT EDITOR: MUSIC EDITOR: SPORTS EDITOR: CONTRIBUTING EDITOR: ILLUSTRATOR: COPY EDITORS:

Jacob Oslick Chris Hayes Rob Wood Matthew Buckley Astrid Phillips John Jemstad Matthew Schwartz

STAFF WRITERS: Michael Austin, John Bach, Josh Benninghoff, Hal Borkow, Brian Cook, Jay Figurski, Andrew Golding, David Guipe, Doug Hillhouse, Amol Parulekar Jon Mazer .Chad Silverstein

BUSINESS STAFF:

Benjamin Kepple GeotfBrown

EDITORS EMERITI:

Those of you who have read Jacob Oslick's expose on SAPAC (see page one) now know that Jacob has joined Managing Editor c.J. Camacchio in the ranks of" rape colluders./I They are currently hiding in Honduras since SAPAC has marked them for penile separatiorC" SAPAC's Lorena Bobbit Brigade was dispatched to track them down and exact vengeance.

A recent edition of Time Magazine featured a newly discovered photograph of those two Marxist heroes, Fidel Castro and Che Guevara, playing golf, of all things. We're sorry - did the workers' revolution take place on the front nine or the back nine? Castro, Guevara, O.J. Simpson - what is it that . murderers find so attractive about golf?

What's next, a picture of Lenin and Trotsky sipping cognac on a yacht in the Black Sea? How bourgeois ...

Oh, and back to the subject of candlelight vigils ... Seeing as how they've become so popular, we'd like to announce that the Review will be holding a candlelight vigil to mourn the death of W~st­ em Civilization on January 20, 1999the six -year anniversary of the day Slick Willie promised to "faithfully execute" the Consitution of the United States.

Apparently, our definitionally-challenged president chose the wrong meaning of the word "execute." We should have been suspicious when he whispered to the Chief Justice, "What does 'faithfully' mean?/I

The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run journal of conservative and libertarian opiniori at the University of Michigan.We neither solicit nor accept monetary donations from the U-M. Contributions to the Michigan Review are tax-deductible under Section 501 (c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code. The Review is not affiliated wittI any political party or university political group.

Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial board. Ergo, they are unequivocably correct and just.

Signed articles, letters, and cartoons represent the opinions ofthe author and not necessarily those of the Review.

The Serpent's Tooth shali represent the opinion of individual anonymous contributors to the Review, and should not necessarily be taken as representative of the Reviews editorial stance. The opinions presented in this publication are not necessarily those of the advertisers or of the University of Michigan. We welcome letters, articles, and comments about the journal.

What's with an you leftists on campus? Where are the angry letters, the denunciations, the cries of racism, sexism, etc.? What do we have to do? C'mon, we ran a cartoon comparing Bollinger to George Wallace in the last issue, lor ervin' out loud! Let's hear some outrage!

Please address all advertising and subscription inquiries to: Publisher clo the Michigan Review.

Editorial And Business Offices: 911 N. University Avenue, SuiteOne Ann Arbor, MI 48109-1265 EMAIL: mrev@umich.edu URL: http://www.umich.edul-mrev/ Tel. (734) 647-8438 Fax (734) 936-2505 Copyright 0 1m. by 1M Michigan RevIft, Inc.

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The Michigan Review Letters to the Editor 911 N. University Ave. • Suite One Ann Arbor, MI48109 or email with subject "Letters to the Editor": mrev@umich.edu

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October 28,1998

o LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

3

Reader Questi9ns "Meal Plan Scam"

U

NFORTUNATELY, WHAT could have been an interesting exploration of what contributes to the cost structure of institutional settings ("The Me,al Plan Scam," October 7, 1998) got bogged down with some side issues that detracted from the author's ostensible purpose. In addition, I think a sharper focus less burdened with ideology might have done a better service for the U-M community.

Prior to working for the University, I was Associate Director of one of the major Hillel Foundations, so I think I have a pretty good perspective on at least one of the me~ plans that Mr. Os lick investigated. Let me hasten to say that I do not work for University HOUSing, and I do not claim to know anything specific about the cost structure of Housing's meal plans.

With respect to kosher meal plans, it is simply wrong to presume that there is a large difference in the food cost structure for kosher establishments than others. It is probably true that if you set out to provide the cheapest food possible in a given environment that kosher food will cost more than food in non-kosher settings. But most food plans do not attempt to provide the cheapest food possible. They attempt to provide what their customers want, and that usually means investing in at least some products that cost more than bare-bones necessities. With good menu planning it should be possible for a kosher meal plan to compete with other types of plan.

As a person who honors Jewish dietary law, I also feel that it is important to clarify tha t kosher food does not equate to expensive. I strongly doubt that my family's grocery bill is any higher than the typical Ann Arbor household's. Certainly, kosher meat is sold at a premium price. But that can be balanced against a plan in which a family consumes a bit less meat than the American average while eating more foods prepared from scratch rather than purchased in processed form.

The article would have gained more credibility for me had the author present~d iniorm!ltion on whether the nonUniversity plans defrayed their facility and administrative costs through the plan charges, or whether these costs were paid for by donations or volunteer labor arranged by the plan operators. Since the Hillel plan was noted to be operating with a subSidy, my suspicion is that the rates do not reflect the cost of cleanup, utilities, or facility repair.

Finally, I was disturbed by the references to the employee salaries and benefits which clearly are a cost factor

for University employees. Speaking not as a University employee, but as a father who will soon be sending his two children to some university environment, I would feel better knowing that all the employees who will be ma service role are earning decent wages, obtaining adequate health insurance, and proViding something towards their retirement. It appears that the author of the article would rather eat more cheaply even if it means those employees will have none of these benefits, but we will have to disagree about this.

Finally, please note that this letter reflects my personal opinion and is not offered in my official University capacity.

Jody Reynolds School of Information Administrative Offices

Jack F. Love

Ms. Reynolds,

Mr. Oslick responds:

Touche. Actually, we had been meaning to change the column pictures after the first issue, but in our haste during production we neglected to do so bejoreprinting the October 7th issue. J hope you find my new picture less hypocritical, and more appropriatefor aJunior Member ofthe Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy. - LFB

Mr. Love, It appears we come from two perspectives. I believe the purpose ofthe University meill program is to provide sustenance to students living in the Residence Halls. You , however, feel it is a welfare program to aid minimally skilled workers by paying them far above their market value. I question exactly how far your goodwill goes. Do you boycott all restaurants that pay their workers below $10 an hour? How about supermarkets? Or does your goodwill only extend to other peoples' money - the thousands offamilies socked by outrageous rent?

As to your assumptions about the Hillel program, the statistics I quoted came directly from Hillel's chef, who also orders food . While you are correct in asserting that somewhat of a "substitution effect" occurs in food selection, from personal experience (I keep kosher) I know it cannot remotely cancel the premiums associated from kosher food.

I admit I am unclear if Hillel's figures include the cost of utilities and equipment repair, although they do include the cost of kitchen cleilnup. However, with the general meal plan these costs are trivial compared to the price offood and labor, so I doubt that these costs could alter the figures significantly.

Lastly, you c/aim that my "ostensible" purpose got in the way ofgood reporting. I find this interesting, since I reported facts, and avoided postulating a solution. Perhaps these facts about burdensome labor and management costs are unpleasant for you, nevertheless they exist - and continue to burden students.

Cordially, afire-breathing, DarkAges Ideologue, Jacob Oslick

Reader Asks Where Bockhorn's Collar Is

H

EY LEE, I READ YOUR article, "The Way You Wear Your HaL." (October 7, 1998), then I looked over at your standing head - where is the collar on your shirt? A picture is worth a thousand words. I was going to count the words in the article, but you get my point, don't you?

COnlon.

You know you \vant to do it.

Give in to tenlptation ...

Send a letter to the editor.

Let us know what you think! mrev@u111ich.edu

. ...

~ ,~ '

University of Michigan Students â&#x20AC;˘ Are your economics professors hostile to the Free Market? â&#x20AC;˘ Are they still teaching the failed doctrines of Lord Keynes?

If so, help is just an e-mail away!

The Mackinac Center for Public Policy, a free market research institute. offers" Ask the Economist," an interactive Web site feature to help guide students around economic fallacies .

Navigating your way to economic truth can be a challenge.

Economic errors abound. and the line between political opinion and established principles is often blurred.

Expert help based on modern economic scholarship is , only 24 hours away.

go to

'

www.mackinac.org

and look for the "Ask the Economist" icon

4

October 28, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

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HE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN COMMUNITY WAS STUNNED AND saddened by the tragic death on October 16th of freshman Courtney Cantor. Unfortunately, the circumstances surrounding her bizarre death, which resulted from a fall from her sixth floor dorm room window at Mary Markley, seem to ensure that her death will not be an inconsequential one.

The veil of fog surrounding the events of that evening has lifted enough to reveal the dim outlines of what occurred. Cantor, a recent pledge of the Chi Omega sorority, attended a party at the Phi Delta Theta fraternity, and apparently consumed alcohol. (Her blood alcohol level, however, was later measured at .059 percent, below the legal driving limit of .1 percent.) At 3am she took a cab home to Markley, and some time between 3 and Sam, fell out her window to her death.

Let us resist the temptation to do what so many have done in the wake of other student deaths- at Michigan - the temptation to use death to advance our own political agendas.

It is in our nature as human beings to seek a cause for every effect, and this tendency to search for answers only increases when the situation we are observing seems most senseless and inexplicable. Unfortunately, in our desperation to find answers we often try to name scapegoats; our need for closure makes us search for someone to be held accountable for an undeserved tragedy. In the case of Courtney Cantor, the list of potential suspects is obvious: the Greek system, for perpetuating an atmosphere where drinking is not only encouraged but seemingly required; the University, for failing to adequately prepare students to deal with the potential dangers of alcohol; even Cantor herself may come under fire from some quarters for drinking while underage.

However, naming a scapegoat for the death of Courtney Cantor would be a terrible mistake. Singling out the Greek system for its history of alcohol abuse would serve no useful purpose; while it is certainly true that the Greek system as a whole has a long-standing problem with alcohol, it must be remembered that drinking is a pervasive element of 1990s undergraduate life, not limited to fraternities and sororities. Today's underage student seeking alcohol has many options at his disposal, so singling out the Greeks for punishment will not significantly stem the tide of underage drinking on campus.

Similarly, it is unfair and unrealistic to hold the University responsible for every single tragedy that befalls its students. Yes, the 'V' does have a limited role to play in encouraging its students to use liquor responsibly, but ultimately students must be recognized for what they are - young adults who must be allowed to accept full responsibility for their actions.

We urge the U-M community to refrain from rash judgments about who (if anyone) is ultimately most responsible for Courtney Cantor's tragic and premature passing. Let us accept that sometimes accidents and cruel tragedies happen with no apparent rhyme or reason to explain them; with no discernible cause or villain to blame. Let us resist the temptation to do what so many have done in the wake of other student deaths at Michigan - the temptation to use death to advance our own political agendas. Let us, instead, take Courtney Cantor's death for what it is: a grim reminder of the fragile, fleeting nature of our humanity, and a terrible but useful antidote to our generation's foolish aura of youthful invincibility. Perhaps then her death will not have been in vain. l\-R

Defend Israel Now-

A

ceremony will take place on the White House lawn, uniting Israelis and Palestinians in a new interim agreement. Although the Review sympathizes with efforts to find an equitable peace, we consider it imperative to consider the history of Yassir Arafat's promises starting with the original ceremony on the White House lawn in September of 1993. The same day as Arafat's historic handshake with the late Yitzhak Rabin, he appeared on Jordanian television.

There, he described his peace pact with the Israelis ,as 'similar to Mohammed's treaty with the Koreish (an Arab tribe). For those unfamiliar with Arabian history, Mohammed broke his word a few years later; and slaughtered everyone in the tribe. Ever since that fateful day, Israeli-Palestinian relations have followed a predictablepattem. Israel exchanges t~rritoryfor Arafat's promises, Arafatcontinues to incite violence, Hamas responds with a terrorist attack, the U.s. expresses sympathy, but reminds Israel not to let terror interfere with the "peace process," and Israel once again exchanges more territory for the same unfulfilled promises.

Consider the central promises Yassir Arafat agreed to in the latest agreement: amending the PLO Charter to remove anti-Israel references and controlling terrorism. These are identical to his commitments under the original Oslo Accords, Oslo II, and the Hebron Accords. Today, Israel has agreed to turn over 27% of the West Bank and 98% of the Palestinian population to Arafat's control. On the other hand, Arafat has yet to fulfill the first commitment he made five years ago: in 30 of its 33 chapters, the PLO Covenant still calls for the destruction of Israel. Not only that, but he continues to flagrantly violate the Accords in a multitude of other ways; by, among other things, turning official Palestinian Authority media into a mouthpiec~ for violent propaganda (a recent television broadcast featured elementary schoolchildren singing about how they all wanted to grow up to become suicide bombers). Whenever Palestinian violence becomes excessive and the U.S. pressures him to "crack down," Arafat responds with Captain Renault's famous line from Casablanca "Roundup the usual suspects," arrests a few terrorists, and then releases them a few weeks later when the pressure dies down. As recently as last month, the Palestinian Authority hired twenty-five more Hamas terrorists as "policemen," in addition to 9 "policemen" currently wanted by Israel for terrorism, four of them for killing Americans.

As the recent talks at the Wye Plantation proved, what we have is not a "peace process," but an appeasement process, Every time Israel is reluctant to cede more land (in light of Arafat's broken promises), Arafat threatens war (such as the Tunnel Riots), or, most recently, declaring independence. This leads the U.S. to pressure Israel to give further concessions, restarting the vicious cycle described above. What Israel does not get is security, or peace. As peace negotiations are reaching their endgame, the U.S. must shift its focus from pressuring Israel to accede to Arafat's whims, to ensuring that Palestinians faithfully observe their commitments.

We must unequivocally stand by our ally when she demands extradition of terrorists, a permanent crackdown on Hamas, and an end to Palestinian propaganda.

Furthermore, we insist that before Israel makes another concession, Arafat must follow through on his first promise: changing the PLO Charter. Only then will the peace agreements amount to more than pieces of paper. Only then will a stable peace be built and preserved. Otherwise we fear the current agreements will too closely resemble Neville Chaimberlain's claim to have achieved "Peace in our time." :tvR ~ l ~;

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October 28,1998

Proposal One

5

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continued from page 1 sible Growth (WCRG) is a local organization which opposes Proposition One's POR initiative for numerous reasons.

According to the WCRG's website, www.grow-smartorg, the POR tax plan will not prevent so-called urban sprawl but will in fact increase it: "We believe that the POR tax plan will bring new development to areas that are now very unlikely candidates for construction.

How? Let's say there are two 100 acre farms right across the street from one another in a very rural part of the county.

Farmer A sells the county his development rights, preventing or delaying future development on this tract ofland.

Immediately, the value of Farmer B's property increases, because it is adjacent to lands that will remain undeveloped for some time. The chances of Farmer B's land being developed have now increased, as has the cost of acquiring development rights."

Beth Bashert, campaign manager for SOLSOF, responds to this criticism by saying, "It all depends on what that individual farmer wants. If he wants to make money by selling his land, which he is certainly entitled to do, then that is his choice. People that buy those houses which developers sell don't want to look at other subdivisions. They want to see country scenery and farmland.

That is why they moved to the subdivisions in the first place. So, of course, that farmer's land will become more valuable to a developer for that reason alone. If that same farmer wants to stay a farmer, his farm also becomes more stable as a farm. It is all about choice. It is about free market enterprise and choice. Under the POR, the farmer will now be able to compete with developers for his own land. He is no longer penalized for not choosing to sell his land to developers."

WCRG also points out that even though the county may acquire the development rights for a property, there is no guarantee that it will never be developed: "The POR tax does not eliminate development rights, it only transfers them to the county government.

This means that the county itself could develop the property in the future, especially in the event of a severe economic downturn. So, we wouldn't really be 'saving' any land through the new tax program. The POR tax plan guarantees only one outcome: it will absolutely raise $32 million in new taxes for county residents over the next ten years. But the county cannot force a farmer to sell his development rights.

This means that there is no guarantee whatsoever that we will be able to preserve any farm lands under this new tax plan." _r~.~.

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"Saving flrmland by raising taxes on farmers makes absolutely no sense. " Bashert responds by saying, "The law requires that the county hold those development rights unused, in perpetuity, unless the farmer chooses to try to buy back those development rights at some point in the future. Secondly, when a farm POR's, the other farms around it instantly become more stable as farms because farms need other farms nearby to exist. So now, with that farm guaranteed to stay a farm in perpetuity, the farm next door to them becomes that much more valuable as farmland.

Often farmers will go in together into POR. Farmers going in together as a group makes them that much more eligible for POR funds because there is a high competition for these funds.

Farmers often do not plan to go into POR alone. The farming community here is a very tight community and they talk to each other frequently. They often act as a community, not as isolated individuals."

Congestion and over-crowdingwill act\tally increase as a direct result of the POR plan, according to the WCRG: "The stated objective of the POR tax is to create greater density here in the county.

With density comes congestion and traffic."

Bashert denies this claim, saying that greater density will mean people all living and working in a smaller area, which means alternative modes of transportation will become more attractive and practical, thereby reducing traffic flows and congestion. She further asserts that it is the working people who must drive into town every day from the more distant subdivisions who are the main cause of traffic congestion and parking problems.

Housing prices and the cost of living will be adversely affected by the PDRtaxincrease. According to WCRG: "We believe that the PDR tax plan would reduce the available stock of affordable housing in the area. What happens when demand increases (as it will so long as our population increases) while supply decreases (as it will if we reduce the number of housing units available)? That's right! Housing prices go up. The POR tax will not only make . it more costly for home owners and business owners here, it will also increase the cost of living for renters and those trying to achieve the American dream of home ownership."

Bashert responds, "Here's the reality of the size of the tax. It is a 0.4 mill tax. The average home in Washtenaw County costs $130,000 according to county figures. The 0.4 mill tax on a

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$130,000 home is $26 per year. A little over two dollars a month. I really appreciate that for some people that is going to be more than they can afford.

That's the reality of the world we live in. For them I certainly understand their concerns. For other people that is a reasonable tax to incur to do farmland preservation in Washtenaw County. It is a small price to pay. Everybody's got to make their own personal decision on that issue. I also appreciate that some landlords use every tax as an excuse to raise the rent on their tenants. This is the reality ofliving in Ann Arbor, which is a high rent area... For doing land preservation work, purchasing development rights, open space preservation, and urban revitalization and planning, I think that $26per year is a pretty reasonable amount."

WCRG also believes that there are private alternatives to save open spaces in Washtenaw County that would not involve government action and tax increases: "Development rights .can"'tre bought and sold in WashtenawCounty right now. We do not need to raise taxes on all county property owners to be able to buy farmer's development rights. We encourage the organizations and individuals behind the PDR tax proposal to seek private funds for the purchase of development rights in selected areas so that a pilot program can be implemented and evaluated over a period of years."

Bashert believes that private action alone would not be sufficient in preserving open lands and that the county government must acfand public funds must be used. She says, "Private land trusts have very limited funds to do this kind of work. What we are talking about is a buyer-seller market with the .PDR program. You need to have a willing seller and a willing buyer. We have the willing sellers. Last year alone, 35 farmers in our county applied for state PDR funds. Only three of them qualified because there were not enough funds to purchase all 35 farmers' development rights. What this program does is create the willing buyers to match the willing sellers./I Jeff Muir, campaign manager for WCRG, asserts that a property tax increase will hurt farmers the most. He said, "In 1952, a bushel of wheat sold for $2.50 and Washtenaw County property taxes amounted to one dollar per acre. Today, wheat sells for $2.40 a bushel and Washtenaw property taxes amount to $33 per acre. Saving farmland by raising !axes on farmers makes

absolutely no sense. Farmers are overtaxed and this is the reason many feel they have no alternative but to sell their land to developers. Farmers need a tax cut - not another tax increase. A tax cut is what is needed to truly preserve farmland." WCRG's website also states, "Farmer's have a tough time in part because their land is taxed based on its potential value, not its present value.

This new tax will only make it more difficult for farmers to operate here in Washtenaw County, fueling the very sorts of unwanted development we all oppose."

Bashert responds: "This proposal is about land preservation. If the farmers need support from us, that has to come through other means. This proposal is about land preservation. This proposal is about the fact that land is being developed at ten acres per day in WashtenawCounty. There are currently 60 developments for sale, under construction,in WashtenawCounty. That's a lot. Our population is not increasing.

Our population increased about eight percent in the last ten years and the amount of housing increased 25 percent. So, developers are not meeting a need, they are doing more than what is necessary. Farmers definitely do need tax support, but this ordinance is not about tax support and again it is a moderate millage. " Bashert also claims that new development in the county takes more from the local economy than it adds, by requiring the building of new schools, roads, sewers, etc She says that residents are forced to pay for the burden of unnecessary development and urban sprawl through constant tax increases which are necessary to fund the expanding need for public services.

WCRG responds to this claim saying, "Proponents of the PDR tax usually calculate the cost of infrastructure to serve a new development and then subtract from this the property taxes paid on the new houses. This extremely Simple analysis fails to take into account all of the economic activity associated with providing housing and commercial development to serve a growing population. Recent studies in North Carolina and Texas - two states with rapidly growing populations- by economists at state universities have shown conclusively that the development required to serve growing populations of the scale in Washtenaw County adds millions of dollars net each year to the local economy./I rvR

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6

October 28, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o SEND LAWYERS, GUNS & MONEY

"The

T

HE MICHIGAN REVIEW IS proud to present an exclusive interview with "The Man." Ever since the 1960s, we have all heard leftists complain about how "The Man is keep in' us down!" The Man is responsible for everything from racism and sexism to Third World imperialism and poverty. The Man is the leader of the vast right-wing conspiracy against President Bubba. It was The Man who undermined communism and preCamacchio vented the world from becoming a worker's paradise. It is The Man who framed Mumia and keeps him imprisoned to this day. And now, without further ado, direct from his secret underground bunker in parts unknown, here is a chat with The Man: MR: Thank you for speaking with me Mr. The Man. I know you have a busy schedule.

The Man: No problem. And please just call me "The Man." MR: So tell me, what is it like being the all-powerful Man? The Man: It feels good. Damn good.

Whether I'm oiling the capitalist machinery with the blood of the workers or sexually harassing my buxom secretary, it all gives me the same warm fuzzy, right here. I'm just glad that I was born and raised in a nation where a guy like me could grow up to become The Man. A nation where any kid, provided he is a rich WASP male, can one day become The Man . God bless America.

MR: Thafsinspirational. So tell me, what have you been up to lately?

The Man: Well, I'm excited about a little project I'm working on in your neck of the woods: the University of Michigan. My agents there are currently working to end affirmative action and resegregate higher education. I even have a group of undercover agents pos.ing as some pro-affirmative action leftist group called the Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary. Their job is basically to create disorder and make the pro-affirmative action side look like fanatical goons

C.J.

Cr. Carnacchio is the Managing Editor of

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the Review. was sparedfrom The Man's execution squad after it was revealed that he was in fact the illegitmnte lave-child of The Man . C/. was immediately made afirs t degree Free Mason.

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and crazed cretins. They have been doing an excellent job.

MR: You mean that Jessica Curtin is working for you?

The Man: Of course. She and I go way back She went to prep school with my daughter. She's been a friend of family for years. Her cover makes her seem like a typical campus radical, but underneath it all, she is still the same girl who kept pictures of Ronald Reagan, Barry Goldwater, and Joe McCarthy on her nightstand. Hell, I still remember how her eyes lit up when I gave her that Nll<e stock for Christmas last year. She joked about the plight of the Third World worker, saying "Work harder Ling-Ling! Mama needs a new sports utility vehicle!" She may seem like an angry, young miltant on the outside, but on the inside she is as American as apple pie and white bread.

MR: What a shocking revelation.

So Hillary Clinton and Lee Bollinger are right!There is a vast right-wing conspiracy working to destroy the Left's dream of an egalitarian, multicultural paradise. But why do you do it?

The Man: I do it for money, power, and women. Chicks dig a man who is

Speaks

ready to exercise the "executive swindle in recorded history. You've branch." I guess being from Arkansas, got to love it. Everyone knows that Clinton is just happy to be dating outColumbus is responsible for every form side the realm of blood relations. of oppression in the United States toMR: What did you hope to gain by day. Columbus Day is my Christmas.

Lewinsky-gate?

The Indians made out pretty good, anyThe Man: I had to bring Clinton way - running casinos is definitely down. If it wasn't for me, he would more lucrative than hunting buffalo. have gone dqwn as the greatest DemoMR: What is The Man's vision for the future? crat since FDR or JFK. I had to distract the nation from his record and paralyze The Man: Call me a dreamer, but I his ability to propose any more legislaenvision a world of total WASP domition that would have been threatening nation. A world where capitalism is to my agenda. I really dodged a bullet free to run amok. Colleges where dead with that whole nationalized health care white males are revered, once again, deal. I own the American Medical and class rooms have been resegreAsociation you know. gated. A world where men are free to MR: What would you say was your once again use their positions of power greatest accomplishment? to extract sexual favors from female The Man: The 1980s, without a subordinates. A world where doubt. The Reagan-Bush years. The rich multicultural studies involves the exgot richer. The poor got poorer. Junk amination of varying European cultures. A rebirth of colonialism. An bonds. Greed is good. Americans feeling more comfortable with their prejuAmerica not afraid to flex its nuclear dices. The whole nine yards. And let's muscles and intimidate the rest of the not forget the arms race. My military world. My vision of the future is laid industrial complex made a mint off out in more detail on my web page: Star Wars alone. Bill Gates is a pauper www.TheMan.com. compared to me. Then again, he works MR: Well, thank you for the interfor me too.

-" view. I'd love to stay for dinner - that -" poached dolphin smells wonderful .. but I do have to run.

The Man: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, but you can't leave - now that you have seen my face, I will have to shoot you. Guards! Seize him!

Guards: /awohl! l\R

The Man: "Columbus was my favorite. Genocide, slavery, destruction of indigenous cultures, and the greatest real estate swindle in recorded history. You've got to love it .... Columbus Day is my Christmas. The Indians made out pretty good, anyway - running casinos is definitely more lucrative than hunting buffalo." actually The Man. But mainly, I do it for kicks. I mean, I really enjoy oppressing the underprivileged, minorities, and women. You name it, I was behind it.

Jim Crow? Me. 1968 Chicago Democratic Convention? Me. Whitewater?

Me. Monica Lewinsky and her amazing oral orchestra? Me. It's all me, baby!

Once affinnative action has been destroyed, I will once ,.,again be able to oppress and segregate to my little black heart's content. [The Man breaks into an

evil beIIy laugh.]

MR: You mentioned Monica Lewinsky. Is she on your payroll as â&#x20AC;˘ well?

The Man: Of course she is. Ken Starr, too. I admit I did want a betterlooking woman to seduce the President, but she was all that we had available. Lucky for us, the President is so horny she could have had a hump on her back, a wooden-leg, and a few missing teeth ~d he would have still ~een

MR: What does The Man do in his spare time?

The Man: Well, I really don't have that much spare time. Oppression is pretty much a 24 hour a day job. But occasionally, I do find time to retax.

When I do have some down time, I . enjoy hunting endangered species. I bagged a couple of nice spotted owls the last time I visited the Northwest. I also enjoy wood-working with rainforest trees. I recently built a condo out of rainforest wood in the middle of the Amazon.

MR: There were others before you who held the title of The Man throughout history. Could you name a few?

The Man: There was Alexander the Great, Augustus Caesar, Attila the Hun, Christopher Columbus, Vlad the Impaler, and Napoleon, to name a few .

Columbus was my favorite. Genocide, slavery, destruction of indigenous cultures, and the greatest real estate <'_""' __

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Do you think exploiting the Third World for fun and profit is definitely your bag?

Would you like to see higher education resegregated?

Are you a wealthy WASPish male? '." Did you always want to ". be a member of a vast ',,: tight-wing conspiracy?

If you answered yes to all of these questions then come and join the Dark Side.

VISit The Man's website at www.TheMan.com and find out how you can become part of the next generation of capitalist oppressors. ;~,. . "

(.~

October 28, 1998

7

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o LANTERNS & LANCES

Shepard Tragedy.Becomes Political Fodder

T

HERE ARE A LOTOFlHINGS you can't count on from the Left in America these days: intellectual coherence, patriotism, and lack of hypocrisy (see feminists and Bill Clinton) come to mind. However, there is one particularly astounding tendency of theirs that is as predictable as a Clintonian lipbite: the cunning use of individual tragedy for political gain. Recall the Democratic Convention of 1996, when a teary-eyed Al Lee Gore told of his Bockhom sister's harrowing death from years of smoking. (Nevennind his continued acceptance of political contributions from those evil tobacco companies after her passing.) That same convention also witnessed the shameless parading of newly paraplegic actor Christopher Reeve to hustle votes for the moral cripple currently residing at 1600 Pennsylvania A venue.

This trend has only worsened recently. Witness the mass pilgrimage by race-baiters like AI Sharpton and Jesse JacksontoJaspe~Texaslastyearforthe

requisite photo op at the funeral of James Byrd, a black man who was dragged to death by three white men in a car. And now we have the horrible death of Matthew Shepard, a 21 year old gay student at the University of Wyoming who was beaten and left to die by a couple of savages he met at a bar. No sooner had Shepard breathed his last than we had the wind-up dolls of the gay rights movement hitting the airwaves to tell us that his death proves the need for hate crime laws protecting homosexuals; and furthermore, that religious conserv;1tives had created an "atmosphere" where such acts as Shepard's beating were tacitly accepted, if not encouraged.

Shameless? You bet. A person's body isn't even cold before people start to use them for political gain. And to attach blame to persons who had no direct responsibility for these crimes is an outrage. More on that herewith, but first,let's examine hate crime laws and see just how ridiculous they are.

The problem with the concept of these laws is that they are just another

example of liberals' worst failing their belief that man is an infinitely perfectible creature. Because their secularized, relativist world view doesn't allow them to recognize that evil did, does, and will continue to exist, they persist in believing that, gosh dam it, if we just come up with the perfect set of laws and system of "social justice," thlr\gs like Matt Shepard's death won't happen. Do they honestly think that having a "hate crime" law on the books in Wyoming would have prevented what those two cretins did?

If we make the mistake of determining the relative seriousness of a crime based on what ethnic or social group the victim happens to belong to, we are starting a slide down a dangerous and slippery slope. It is just that sort of noxious legal distinction by group that liberals, to their credit, once fought to abolish. Now, slaves to their ideology, they have developed the annoying habit of letting their good intentions get in the way of common sense.

The simple truth is that hate crime laws are not necessary. We already have laws on the books to deal with people like Matt Shepard's killers: murder laws.

kill," not "Thou shalt not kill, except for those dirty homosexuals." The problem the Left has is that they cannot distinguish betWeen true Christianswho consider homosexuality a sin but have compassion for gays because ultimatelyweareallsmners-andnutcases like Rev. Fred Phelps, who instructed his congregation to perform the very un-Christian act of picketing at Shepard's funeral. For every Fred Phelps and his congregation, there are millions of other Christians who view homosexual behavior as immoral, but know that Christianity is ultimately not about the punishment of sins, but their redemption.

What is most discouraging to people of faith like myself is the unfailing portrayal by our liberal intelligentsia of religious persons as Neanderthal nabob redneck yahoos who have nothing better to do between revival meetings than drink moonshine and practice bigotry. Their tacit assumption is that only a naive fool believes in something as ridiculous as the concept of God. Nevertheless, there are still people in the world who are able to find a healthy balance between reasoll arttf'

What is most 'discouraging to people offaith like myself is the unfailing portrayal by our libert;zl intelligentsia of religious persons as Neanderthal nabob redneck yahoos who have nothing better to do between revival meetings than drink moonshine and practice bigotry.

The killers of Shepard and James Byrd will be tried, convicted, and most likely executed for their crimes, and it is exactly these types of evildoers for whom drawing-and-quartering should make a comeback.

Having summarily dismissed the foolishness of hate crime laws, let us now examine the most disturbing aspect of the aftermath of Shepard's death: the finger-pointing being done by gay rights activists at religious conservatives. They cite various public statements over the past several months by such persons as Senator Trent Lott and football player Reggie White, as well as a recent ad campaign by several conservative pro-family groups which promoted the idea that gays c'o uld be converted to heterosexuality with the help of God. . Now there wasn't one ounce of Lee Bockhorn is a senior in LSA and Music "hate" in these ads, and certainly no and the editor-in-chief of the Review. He suggestion that people of faith go out just wants to say he's here, he's hetera-and kill a gay person for kicks. The Ten seXUQl, get used to it! , .,....' '. Commandments say "Thou shalt not - ,"..- .. ,,,..,,,.-

revelation; some of the intellectual giants of the 20th century, including T.S. Eliot and Albert Einstein (to name just two), were deeply religious persons.

However~ this is not the only problem today's cultural elite has with religion. The, other is that religion (especially the Judeo-Christian variety) is one of the few forces left in society that has the audacity to tell our self-indulgent, let-it-ride culture that there are still some things that aren't good to do.

This is simply a no-no in a society where "tolerance" and not hurting anyone's feelings have been enshrined as cardinal virtues. Heaven forbid (pun intended) that religious people start to push their way into the political sphere; as the New York Times editorialized a few years ago, public policy advocacy by religious conservatives constitutes "a far greater threat to democracy than was presented by communism." They seem to have forgotten that without people of faith, the slavery abolition movement of the 19th century and the

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civil rights movement of the 1950s and 60s would never have gotten off the ground.

Reasonable people can disagree over how to resolve the various debates swirling around homosexuality and its relation to public policy. And certainly one can disagree with the answers that religious conservatives offer on those questions. However, the fact that a Christian conservative may say that having gays in the military would harm morale and unit cohesion, or that he has a problem with public schoolchildren being forced to read things like Heather Has Two Mommies, simply cannot be fairly equated with an encouragementto murder gays. For the Left to make that claim is to engage in exactly the type of stereotyping and intolerance that they hasten to criticize. So, to all the liberals out there I offer this caveat: think before making the kneejerk claim that religious conservatives create an atmosphere where hatred is acceptable (or the similar knee-jerk claim that all people who oppose affirmative action are inherently racist). Just as you desire gays to be treated equally before the law, I ask that you take more consideration before lumping all people of faith together with men whose actions can only be described as evil. Simply put, it's hypocrisy-not that you've ever had a problem with that (again, see feminists and Bill Clinton). l\R

Our Technology Czar Ben is becoming angry.

You people are not visiting the web page often enough. Please visit the web page. Ben has powers. He speaks to the machines with his mind and frightens us all. Oh no, here he comes! Visit the . website at: -mrev

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8

October 28, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS AFFAIRS

Diversity

BY BENJAMIN ROUSCH

HE UNIVERSITY OF Michigan has become obsessed with diversity. It seems like every time you read a quote from the administration, it has some comment reaWnning the University's commitment to providing the most diverse education of any institution. The administration believes that a diverseeducation can be achieved by injecting "diversity courses" into the traditional liberal arts curriculum of the College of Literatur;, Science, and the Arts. The U-M's preoccupation with diversity is threatening the quality of education that students receive, and may be distracting administrators from thinking about the aspects of a liberal arts education in today's technology-driven workplace.

The U-M administration says that it wants to provide a diverse education, but it is difficult to get them to define "diversity." By looking at the affirmative action policies used in admissions and hiring, it is obvious that they are only interested in having a campus population composed of different skin colors. Diversity, despite what they tell you at Orientation, is more than just skin color. A truly diverse education is one in which a student learns to look at the world from many different angles and gains the ability to put themselves in someone else's shoes. A truly diverse and useful education can be found at the U-M, but not by following the out-dated and~lf-serving curriculum devised by the administration.

T

The Infamous Language Requirement The language requirement has always been a point of controversy at the U-M. LS&A students are required to take four terms of a foreign language (or attain a level of-proficiency equivalent to a fourth-term language course), even if they do not plan on using that language when they leave college. Anyone who has suffered through four terms of Spanish or French will tell you that they hated it. They feel like they wasted 16 credit hours learning a language they will never use and will probably forget how to speak within a couple years. Even if they do happen to visit a foreign country, it is most likely that the natives will speak English, and they will have little use for the four terms of linguistic torture.

Learning a second language, however, is a traditional part of the liberal arts education. In the past, a second language was necessary for a scholar to study the world and visit路 far-off na-

and~~iberal

hons. However, with the spread of English as a universal language, knowing a foreign tongue is not necessary for communicating in non-Western land~ So the University has concocted another reason for requiring a foreign language as a graduation requirement: by knowing the syntax and semantics of another language, you somehow gain an insight into the culture where it is spoken, and thus you are attaining part of a diverse education.

This is very convenient for the U-M administration, since, despite the rise of English as a universal language, they can still justify the millions of dollars spent on outdated foreign language departments and faculty. However, there is a flaw in the administration's thinking: learning a second language to fourth-term proficiency is not enough to give students a diverse education.

Sure, students get a glimpse into the culture of a foreign people, but the emphasis is on understanding the language, not the culture. Insights into the foreign culture are just a side effect of learning the language: they are not the primary result.

If the U-M really wanted to use the

Arts at U-M

tion of much of the faculty who currently teach the 200- and 300-levellanguage courses, as well as the restructuring of the core curriculum.

The Sordid R & E Requirement The Race and Ethnicity requirement is the core of the University's attempt to provide a "diverse" education. Every LS&A student is required to take a class which focuses on issues of race and prejudice. Left to their own devices, most students would never take a class in the Afro-American Studies, Women's Studies, or American Culture departments, or any of the other courses designated to fulfill the requirement. The only reason these departments exist is so that the U-M administration has an excuse to hire more minority faculty.

The only reasons most people take a class in these departments are: a) they are a member of the group "studied" by the department, or b) they are fulfilling the R & E requirement. Without the R & E requirement, the administration could not possibly justify the money spent on sustaining such farcical departments.

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Left to their own devices, most students would never take a class in the Afro-American Studies, Women's Studies, or American Culture departments. foreign language requirement as a means to contribute to a diverse education, it would make students learn more than just one foreign language. Students would learn languages from many different cultures and from every part of the world. Then they would have knowledge of a large enough sample of cultures and languages to make educated and diverse conclusions about the world we live in. Any statistician will tell you that a sample-size of two is insufficient for drawing any kind of meaningful conclusion I believe that students would get a much more diverse education by learning the basics of even two or three different foreign languages, with an emphasis on how that language shapes the native speakers' culture (and viceversa) than they do with the present language requirement. If a student becomes particularly interested in learning a certain language, he could pursue a deeper understanding of it with his distribution credits. Of course the administration will frown on this idea because it would require the elimina-

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The University explains that the purpose of the R & E requirement is to expose students to a culture that they would not otherwise encounter. But the true reason for the R & E requirement is apparent after a little more inspection. Most of the classes fulfilling the R & E requirement center around a single instance of what is generally considered a racial or gender minority.

How does a class about African-Americans expose an African-American student to a culture or people he does not normally encounter? Or how does a woman taking a class about women expose her to ideas she would not consider? In fact, it is likely that a racial or gender minority will take a class in the department devoted to his or her respective minority status.

It is obvious, then, that the R & E requirement is not really exposing students to a different culture, except in one case: the white student. There are no classes about suburban whites or American corporate culture that will fulfill the R & E requirement The Race and Ethnicity requirement is obviously

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intended to expose the average white person to racial and gender minorities.

Butwhy? A closer look at what is taught in many of the R & E classes exposes the real reason for the R & E requirement: to fill whites with guilt for being who they are, so they will support the U-M's affirmative action policies. A typical R & E class teaches students about the evils the white man has performed against minorities, with the intent of making them feel bad about the plight of the repressed. This guilt, it is expected, will drive whites to join in the defense of the University'S affirmative action programs.

I'm sure you agree that the R & E requirement should be eliminated when you consider its racist and deceitful purpose. A restructuring of the language requirement would have the effect of exposing students of any race or gender to another culture and way of thinking, without ulterior motives or exploiting racial guilt for the administration's personal agenda.

The Skimpy English Requirement English is today's universal language. In many countries, students must learn it as a secondary language, butweAmericans are fortunate enough to have it as our primary language. We take various English classes in every grade of our primary education, but when we get to the U-M, we only need two English courses to graduate. It is odd that we need foui classes in a random foreign language, but only two courses in the language spoken throughout America and the rest of the world. By neglecting this essential part of a liberal arts education, the U-M is jeopardizing the quality of education students receive.

Employers expect that, at a minimum, students graduating with a liberal arts degree from the prestigious University of Michigan will have a mastery of English grammar, familiarity with historic literary works, and possess the ability to write clearly. The current English requirement does not provide any of these skills to an acceptable level. I have read few papers written by U-M students that contained passable grammar, organization, and clarity of thought. There are even fewer students I have met who are well read in the classic literature of Western society. The U-M simply <ioes not require that students take enough English and Literature courses, and thus is not giving students the quality of education they expect.

Please see DIVERSITY on Page 12

October 28, 1998

9

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o CAMPUS AFFAIRS

DaY$"of Action

BY BRIAN COOK

I

T DID NOT TAKE LONG FOR the Undergraduate Women's Studies Association (USWA) to lose their credibility with me. As I arrived to observe their October 22 rally with the Coalition To Defend Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary (BAMN) on the steps of Angell Hall, I was handed a small slip of paper contrasting the suspensions of Marcus Ray and Jason Brooks.

On the slip were gross simplifications and misrepresentations of the truth. To whit, they stated that Brooks had received "no formal suspension" for his fourth degree sexual assault conviction, whereas Ray had been suspended for six games for having contact with a sports agent. We can only assume that the UWSA was ignorant of the fact that Brooks was not allowed to play in the first four games of the season. (He did not even make the trip to Notre Dame, the only away game dur-

Brian Cook is a sophomore who fears nothing, not even screaming irrational people, and is a staff writer for tJze Review.

ing that span.) Or, perhaps the UWSA has taken a cue from our great defender of women's (specifically, intern's) rights, Bill Clinton, and lied in spirit, if not in letter.

Even if the USWA had a valid point (which it does not, since the NCAA handed down the Ray suspension, not . the University), everything they had to say in the hour-and-a-half of speeches interspersed with the ranting to follow was polluted. What a shame that was, too. Otherwise, I could have really pondered the significance of a few dozen women, who had obviously never handled a weapon in their lives, discussing the formation of a "new militant women's rig~ts movement" as if they had just accepted the surrender of the Michigan Militia.

Therein lies the fundamental problem with BAMN, the USWA, and all their ideological siblings: they lie to themselves. The issues they rave about are neither as simple nor as dear cut as they would like. They are extremely complex. By simplifying every social issue in the country to a battle between the oppressed and the oppressors, BAMN and their ilk do great disservice

•••

BY AMOL PARULEKAR

A

H YES, THERE'S NOTHING like a little protest now an9. again to stir things up on campus. Last Wednesday, October 2"1st, the University once again honored "Don't let your child go to class day," also known as the "Day of Action." This groundbreaking, Chicago-Sevenesque demonstration brought in close to 200 people (I'm pretty sure that Roxbury movie brought in more people) to support the defense of affirmative action on campus. Now although it might sound as if I'm mocking these people, I must say that I do have a certain level of respect for them. Their crusade, for those of you have haven't had their wares thrust upon you as you go through the Diag, is to level the playing field in" Amerikan" education, and they have accomplished just that. By skipping class to protest for something the school supports, they didn't learn anything that day, and by trouncing around campus yelling and screaming, they disrupted the classes in their path, so nobody could learn anything. Ignorance for all. Congratulations, mission accomplished!

How is skipping class supposed to defend equality in education? Wouldn't the cause be better served if you stud-

•••

to their cause, .their less-radical brethren, and the country's social dialogue as a whole. Any attendee of last year's Ward Connerly "debate" remembers the disgusting and useless farce that Shanta Driver and her fellow indignant screamers made out of the proceedings. How can one respect a cause that will not even allow the other side to be heard?

Such desperation to prevent a balanced debate speaks volumes. Perhaps BAMN fears that when people hear reasonable arguments from both sides, they will choose to dismantle reverseracism. Perhaps they fear that if they stop screaming, people will have time to mull over the hypocrisies they espouse. Perhaps they know that they are genuinely uninteresting, irrelevant people unless they are radical. In any case, BAMN's false militancy is an attempt to conceal theii: many flaws.

And, judging by the sparse, nay, pathetic attendance at the DOA rally (Day of Action or Dead on Arrival, same difference), it is a failed attempt.

Driver got to bluster, yes, but this time it was to a crowd of mildly amuse5l.c passers-by and disinterested w9m~rS-

rights activists. I saw eyes glaze over as she rambled on about abortion and militancy, hilariously claiming that the 1992" rebellion" (read: riots) in Los Angeles directly impacted the Supreme Court's refusal to overturn Roe v. Wade that year. When she fin~lly finished wasting the planet's precious oxygen, I had a small epiphany .

The policies BAMN defends are hypocritical. They make little sense and only serve to reinforce this country's atmosphere of self-segregation. The BAMN-certified lunatic knows this in their deep subconscious, but they cannot accept it. That is why they "reject the reluctant, moderate defenders of . affirmative action." That is why they misrepresent the truth. They know that unless they confuse you, unless they bewilder and frighten you to the point where you are irrational, you will disagree with 'them.

They are afraid. r...R

Read the Revieu'.

Or else.

Dead on Arrival

ied and became a lawyer, politician or educator so you could support your cause with some deliverable results, instead of forcing reading material on passers-by that contains little more than misrepresentations of facts in black and white, albeit with all of the c's replaced by k's(Amerika, Lloyd Karr, etc.). This accomplishes little more than aggravating the entire issue of affirmative action.

The opposing sides can never resolve their differences because they are so far apart on the political spectrum that neither can hear the other side shouting how they are right.

I agree that America isn't a Norman Rockwell painting of country-goodness and happiness, but I think that it's getting there. My views on affirmative action are as follow s (angry, nitpicking letter-to-the-editor writers power up your word processors): I don't believe that people should be given any type of special treatment based on race. However, I also believe that in the land of free, things aren't as equal as those episodes of Friends where the entire crew goes down to a place with some black people and resolve most race and ethnicity issues in 22 minutes while spewing off racially charged witticisms.

Just being a minority shouldn't . qualify you for anything special. I

thought our common goal was equality throughout. Maybe it's just the tiny bit of goodness in my body (I think it's called a soul) that makes me think that our country is more tolerant than racist and that two people of different economic status would have a greater divide amongst them than two people of different races.

The modem day racist isn't wearing an easily recognizable white sheet or anything like that;it's a fellow in an expensive suit that hides behind righteousness and preys on the misconceptions of others. If we avoid the concept of racism and discriminate against people in others way (lack of intelligence, dress funny, from Jersey) and not even think about race, racism will go away. Now this ostrich-like approach to the ills of the world might sound stupid and unrealistic, but think about it. If you simply avoid the racists and let them have their little marches and their demonstrations, you'll take away the air that fans their flames.

As for debating the issue, it won't get you anywhere. Any type of civil debate doesn't work, because neither of the debaters will give in, leaving everyone infuriated, nobody converted, and the issue unresolved. I'd happily sit down and debate anyone on affirmative action, however the lunatics at . ...

BAMN tum every civilized debate! discussion on the subject into a loud, angry screaming match where the password is "racism." Ahem, Ward Connerly.

The world is filled with racists and bigots. You can either hate them (which is kinda ironic because ...now you're the hate-monger ... however you'll argue how you have righteousness on your side ... whichnot-so-surprisingly is what they also say) or ignore them. All we can do is live our life avoiding them and enjoying our world. MR

"The mob has many heads, but no brains."

- 17th century English proverb

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10

October 28, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o POLITICS

Liar, Liar " If'~

BY MA ITHEW BUCKLEY

N

o

OOUBT ABOUT IT, I AM a political junkie. Any news show, pundit program, or public affairs special you can name, I have probably watched. Heck, I even know the differences between C-SPAN and C-SPAN2, which has to put me in a very small class of people.

The shows themselves are only about ninety percent of the fun. Since politicians can typically arrange with television stations when to run their campaign advertisements, they aim for particular audiences. Since politicians try to aim for civic-minded individuals, this means they run their advertisements smack in the middle of all my shows. As a political junkie, I love peliticaladvertisements. Some days, when all I see is political television shows interspersed with political advertisements, I'm in hog heaven.

The last few weeks, though, I've been pretty troubled ... by the dishonesty in political commercials. (As my roommate points out, it makes about as much sense to be troubled by the sun coming up in the morning.) Don't get me wrong. I'm a pretty red-meat conservative, and totally understand taking pieces oEan opponent's record and making that an issue. If you represent an environmentalist district and your opponent is a Sierra Club member who wants to impound every chainsaw in the US, pointing that out is legitimate.

However, I have my limits. A recent ad campaign launched by the Michigan Republican Party announced that Democratic Congressman David Bonior "voted to allow judges to let drug dealers and even violent criminals out of prison early." A photo of Bonior is flipped up on the screen, and then text blocks screaming the words "rapists" and "drug dealers" emerge.

Why, Bonior wants to help these people? Rapists and n;l.Urderers? What is this world coming to?

As a Republican, I knew this ad had to be too good to be true. Most politicians are smarter than to sign bills along the line of, oh, say ... H.R. 0001 Early Release for Rapists and Drug Dealers. I might disagree with Bonior politically, but I suspected something else was up.

As I suspected, Bonior didn't really vote for such a release. The actual bill at issue was one which tried to undercut the power of federal judges when dealing with cases involving prison overcrowding. What Bonior actually voted for was the position that judges should retain their ability to decide these cases, even if their rulings occasionally led to the release of violent offenders. (Hint to

the state GOP: Don't run advertisements whose fundamental claims are misrepresentations when the relevant misrepresentation can be discovered by anyone with a pulse, an Internet connection, and five free minutes.)

So the GOP claim is literally true, yet dearly a stretch. It's not as if Bonior's position can't be criticized - there may well be merits to taking these sorts of decisions out of judicial hands. But why run a nuanced ad dealing with these subtleties when one could simply tar Bonior as asoft-on-crime lefty? Clearly, the temptation was too much for the Republicans.

Democracy is hardly perfect, but it's the best system we've got. For democracy to work well, though, we need accurate representations of political positions. Given that, the electorate in theory is free to pick the candidates and positions that they prefer. Sure,

with opposition to affirmative action apparently makes one a dangerous racist indeed. In last Thursday's Daily, a letter to the editor by LSA junior Kevin Jones claimed that Cohen "has expressed blatantly racist views concerning African American students on this campus[.] ... He has published articles (that can be [found in] various databases on the Web) ... explicitly denouncing the presence of African"Americans in institutions of higher learning."

I suspect that what Cohen actually "denounces" is something like this: some African-American students attending the University gained admission with scores that, had they been the scores of white students, would have gotten them rejected. That race-based disparity, he submits, is problematic.

This is not the same as the claim above that Cohen denounces "the presence of African Americans in institutions路 of

I'm a realist, and I know that a perfect world of political campaigning will be a long time coming.

However, we can certainly note that certain claims, i.e.

"David Bonior wants to let rapists move into YOUR路 neighborhood - right nowl II," are garbage.

I'm a realist, and I know that a perfect world of political campaigning will be a long time coming. However, we can certainly note that certain claims, i.e.

"David Bonior wants to let rapists move into YOUR neighborhood - right now!!!," are garbage. Putting these claims out with the direct intention of suckering swing voters makes a mockery of political advocacy.

If this was an isolated ad, it might be one thing. If it was really only a problem in national politics, it might-be something else. What actually seems to be going on is widespread exaggeration of people's claims, ignoring that one's claim are essentially lies. It's even happening right here at U-M, all the time.

It's no secret that BAMN and other radical groups in support of affirmative action have picked up the tactic of calling opponents of affirmative action "racists." Recent controversy about naming a Residential College reading room after longtime professor Carl Cohen is only the latest in a long line of such attacks.

Whoever floated this idea had to have known it would be controversial, since Cohen has been a leader in discovering information about the University's affirmative action policies.

Combining this search for knowledge

higher learning." What affirmative action opponents believe is hardly that broad.

We might also note that Jones' letter to the editor is laudably clear about its claim that Cohen is a racist. In fact, he claims that apparently anyone with a computer and some time can find obvious evidence from the Internet of Cohen's racism. Articles in databases will prove it! Well, I ran a few Yahoo searches, and while I did find that Cohen opposes affirmative action and gets quoted in lots of newspaper articles about the subject, I simply couldn't find evidence of real racism. This, one might suggest, is hardly a surprise. If Jones actually had a damning quote from Cohen's mouth indicating real racism, it would have been used in his letter to the editor.

This by itself is as bad as the GOP's ridiculous attack ad. Jones will never give you a premise-te-conclusion argument showing that "affirmative action opponent" equals "racist," since it can't be done. Of course, Jones' letter is simply a quick smear hit-and-run, so he probably doesn't care - the connection between opposing affirmative action and racism is probably obvious in his mind. But is there any doubtthat his rhetoric, which is just as deceptive as the Michigan. GOP's crime advert~se-

ments against Bonior, only prevents us from finding solutions to national problems?

It's a cliche nowadays to say that sticks and stones can break bones, but . that words can't harm. In politics, however, since sticks and stones aren't ac.ceptable weapons, words have to serve instead. Politicians employ words with the specific purpose of hurting one another. Given this, politicians have a responsibility to use their nouns, verbs, and adjectives accurately. They have a duty, to the public and to their opponents, to be fair.

When they don't, the process of democracy suffers. I concede that extrapolated arguments and ridiculous assessments of one's opponents are easy, tempting, and occasionally effective. However, we ought to aspire to have political debate as a forum in which we articulate and defend our own positions, rather than one in which we tell half-truths about the positions of others.l\R

VOTE ON NOVEMBER

3rd

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October 28, 1998

11

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o FOREIGN AFFAIRS

Left-wingers Tq,ke Power in Germany

BY JAY FIGURSKI

L

EGEND HAS IT, BACK IN HIS days as a member of the German parliament in the 80s, Gerhard Schroeder stood in front of the chancellor's building in Bonn and yelled or want to get in there." Well, his wish came true in Germany's federal elections this September, with Schroeder's Social Democratic party winning 41 % of the votes. Incumbent chancellor Helmut Kohl's Christian Democratic party, which has been in power for sixteen years, suffered their worst election results in forty years, taking a mere 35°,{, of the votes.

The differences between Schroeder and Kohl transcend appearance, personality, and, yes, as unthinkable as it may seem, even politics. The two men represent very different eras in modem German history - and Schroeder's victory signals the end of the old~r generation's domination in government.

Schroeder's generation (commonly referred to as the "68ers" due to the social change brought about by student protests in 1968) lacks the guilt of their

elders that has been in existence since World War II. The older generation felt responsible to the world for the destruction and ill will caused by the Germans' role in the war. This guilt has played a major role in determining German domestic and foreign policy, as the people of that generation have always been the ones in power in postwar Germany. The younger generation, born well after the war, does not feel responsible for a war they had nothing to do with, and has distanced themselves from this guilt.

U-M political science professor Ron Inglehart fot;esees this new generation as being "more assertive and less apologetic" in their newly-won roles in government. Germany, which has often taken a backseat in major European and worldwide political and social issues despite being the primary economic power in Europe, will do so no more.

Though a duty to the nation and a great sense of self-sacrifice embodied the Kohl generation, which supposedly represented a traditionally simple and hard-working Germany, Schroeder and his peers will tend to. be more mter-

ested in individual freedom. They will be more inclined to be in touch with a Germany that has changed a lot since the Kohl generation shaped its political ideology. The traditionally hard-working nation now relaxes with the shortest working week and the most paid holidays of any industrialized country in the world.

Schroeder, 54, once a full-fledged Marxist, gradually made his platform less extreme and widened voter appeal. Much like Bill Clinton, 5<;hroeder journeyed down a political pathway known as the "third way," which advocates moderation as opposed to extreme free-market rightist ideology or socialist left ideology.

The 41% margin which the Social Democrats won in the election is not a majority in the German Bundestag (parliament). In German political tradition, the party which has the most seats (the Social Democrats) chooses to form a coalition with another party in the government in order to establish a solid majority. Although a coalition for the new government has not yet been formed, Schroeder has announced that his party will team up with the qreens';'

O~RE

.

Please see GERMANY on Page 12

.

Hulk Hogan Next on Fieger's Agenda

BY DAVID GUIPE

Y

an international political party formed around environmental activism. The Greens, traditionally known in Germany for their often extreme positions, especially concerning environmental issues, seemed simultaneously surprised and ecstatic about having a chance to indulge themselves in real political influence. Within days after Schroeder made the first public statement alluding to a possible Social Democrat-Green coalition, GreeD party parliamentary leader Jo~chka Fischer was inspired to suddenly renounce his party's more extremist platforms, such as pulling Germany out of NATO. Inglehart predicts this pattern of moderation in the Green party will continue. He states: "The [Green] party will keep alienating themselves from extremism, and the nobly idealistic wing will have to shut up." Inglehart also explained that the Green leadership represents the moderate faction of the party, and that the major decisionmaking will ultimately rest with them.

He cited a classic political pattern that

ES, THE BIG MIDTERM elections are right around the comer. That'sright,injustafew short days, a whopping three percent of all registered voters will go to the polls and vote for their favorite candidates. Prospects for Republican candidates look especially good in the state of Michigan this year. You see, this year Michigan Republicans have a secret weapon. A weapon that is guaranteed to bring the Democratic Party to its knees and deliv~r virtually every state office into the hands of the GOP. That weapon is Geoffery Fieger.

Right now you're probably thinking, "Dave, are you insane? Geoffery Fieger is the Democratic candidate for Governor. He hates Republicans. His dream is to see every Republican in the whole wide world die a slow and agonizing death while repres~tatives from various disadvantaged groups point at them and laugh. Yet you say that he is the GOP's secret weapon?"

Yes, I do say that Geoffery Fieger is the GOP's secret weapon. Of course, he doesn't know it. For those of you who don't follow politics and have no clue what I'm talking about, allow me to fill you in. Geoffery Fieger is the Democratic candidate for Governor. The

Democratic Party is the one that has a donkey as its mascot. Fieger is the attorney for Dr. Jack "No, really, you won't feel a thing" Kevorkian, the infamous Michigan physician who helps people kill themselves using common household materials such as styrofoam and "Cap'n Crunch." Several factors motivated Fiegerto run for Governor, among them being his hatred for current Governor John Engler, his realization that every other Democrat in the race was a joke, and the little known 118 year old law that grants every state official a free pig on Christmas. So, after narrowly defeating the labor unions' pick, Comrade Larry Owen, in the Democratic primary, Fieger set his sights on the Governor's office and on his only obstacle to getting there, Gov. John Engler.

Now Fieger's no politician, made obvious by his campaign strategy, which goes something like this: l.Tell everyone that you're no politician.

2.Make the point that you have views on many important issues without mentioning any of them.

3.Make fun of the Governor's weight.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but you get the idea. Well, this strategy seems to be working better ",.~_.

__

~_,."

...•

than one would think. In the last poll that I saw, Fiegerwas trailing Engler by only thirty points! My guess is that the twenty five percent of voters who are actually considering voting for Fieger are made up of hardline Democrats, Engler haters, and BAMN members.

As a matter of fact, my curiosity about what the general public thinks of Fieger prompted me to take my own unofficial poll. During the course of my day, I asked random people what they think of the guy. The results looked something like this: 97% of the population think that Fieger is a moron.

68% feel genuine sympathy for the man.

39% think that the world would be better off if Fieger was Kevorkian's patient instead of his attorney.

15% think that Fieger looks a lot like a pro wrestler.

2% will vote for him if a potential hangover doesn't stop them from getting to the polls on Election Day. It's a shame that there weren't any gubernatorial debates. Engler could have easily made Fieger look like a complete fool, but our governor is too nice of a guy to do that. Besides, it's not like Fieger needs help looking like a fool. It almost. makes me wish that I

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could stand in for the governor and debate Fieger. Hmm, me debating Geoffery Fieger. It would probably go something like this: Moderator: "Mr Fieger, what is your view on taxes?"

Geoffery Fieger: "Taxes are stupid. As governor, I will see to it that the 'Sales Tax', the 'More Than Twelve Kids Tax and the 'Inhaling Oxygen Tax' are all eliminated."

Me Debating Geoffery Fieger: "Geoff, that's all good and well, but I see one minor flaw in your tax cutting plan."

Geoffery Fieger: (sarcastically) "Oh yeah? What's that?"

Me Debating Geoffery Fieger: "Two of those taxes don't exist! Guess which two."

Geoffery Fieger: "Well, uh, I, uh, say, did anyone notice how FAT the governor is?" l

l

Oh well. There will always be the dream. Anyway, just because Fieger is going to suffer an embarrassing loss on Election Day that will scar him for the rest of his life doesn t mean that he has to go back to being a lawyer. There are plenty of other options for him. Next week on WCW, Geoffery Fieger versus Hollywood Hulk Hogan. You heard it here first. l\R l

_____ 4"""'_ _ _ _ _ _ __

12

October 28, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

SAPAC

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continued from Page 1 partment as well). Furthermore, it is likely that at least a few reports were false, pushing the actual figures some:what lower.

Another statistic SAPAC frequently cites is that only 1 out of 6 rapes are reported to the police. Even if you accept the accuracy of this number, it means that there were 198 sexual assaults directed against the men and women of the entire city of Ann Arbor, including the University (much less then the SAPAC supplied 750 for University women alone). Without question, every one of these incidents is a tragedy, and the local governing authorities should do everything they can to stop sexual predators. However, SAPAC's deceitful orientation seminar, and its grossly misleadin"g statistics are not the answer. They reinforce an extreme feminist stereotype of men as Neanderthal beasts seeking only sexual domination and gratification. They seek to paint a picture of countless hordes of young women falling victim to patriarchal suppression. Thus, their statistics are not intended to educated freshmen, so much as indoctrinate them. As soon

Diversity Continued from page 8 It is difficult to determine why the University is so lax in the English requirement. Perhaps the administration is assuming that students receive sufficient instruction in high school. However, if the high school education was sufficient, then most of the students would have submitted excellent writing portfolios and placed out of the English 124/125 requirement. This is obviously not the case, so it is apparent that either the administration is ne:glecting its responsibilities to the students, or there is once again a hidden agenda at work. There is no plausible hidden agenda, so it is evident that the U-M is simply neglecting this fundamental part of the students' education.

The solution is simple: require a greater quantity and wider variety of English and Literature courses for graduation.

The Non-Existent Computer Requirement A traditional liberal arts or even a newfangled diverse education is a wonderful thing. A student with such a degree can look at a situation from many points of view and come to an informed conclusion, but what can one do with such a degree? The~ are a lot of jobs for liberal arts majors in the world

as individuals cease viewing rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence (another greatly inflated statistic that brevity does not permit me to discuss here) as isolated, rare incidents, and instead as an epidemic affecting tens of millions of women, they immediately demand tougher protection to prevent more "victims." Indeed, during my interview with SAPAC Director Virginia Chitanda, she spoke frequently about the need to err on the side of caution" and "up the standard." For feminist thinkers and organizations such as Ms., this usually means loosely worded legal definitions so that practically every human behavior can be described as sexual harassment, assault, stalking, or domestic violence. Such broadened definitions also increase the number of victims (as previously minor crimes are re-characterized as the moral and legal equivalentto rape), creating a cycle or propaganda, fear, and excess reaction. SAPAC expresses these goals through its Networking, Publicity, and Action Department, which advocates and conducts letter-writing campaigns for stronger laws. To support their antisexual predator programs, feminists also tend to demand more public money, symbolized by the gigantic Via-

lence Against Women Act of 1994. interestingly, among the several questions Ms. Chitanda refused to answer was how large SAPAC' s budget is.

To be fair, SAPAC runs an array of needed programs. It manages a crisisline, counsels victims of sexual assault,

today, and most of those jobs require some experience with a computer. For a vast majority of these occupations, you don't need to know how to create an operating system or install a CPU, but you do need to know how to use a word processor, some form of a Bill Gates operating system, and even the World Wide Web. So why doesn't the U-M require computer proficiency for graduation?

Every other school that I know of, from community colleges to Big 10 rivals, requires that students take at least one computer class before graduation -except the U-M. You may have been taught how to use a word processor for your English 124 class, or learned to surf the Web when researching a paper, but you were probably never formally introduced to the wonderful world of computing. The U-M does offer one such introductory computing course, but it is not required and few people even know that it exists.

The administrators have been so caught up with racial diversity in the past few years that they have failed to look outside of the University of Michigan's multi-colored walls to see what is going on in the real world.

Computers are everywhere. You will have to use one when you get a job, but that is one thing you aren't required to learn at the U-M. You need to know how to survive in a racially diverse world, but not in Cybers}?ace.

It is obvious that computers will figure in somewhere in your future, and that their influence throughout the world will only grow. The administration needs to institute some kind of basic computing technology requirement soon, before the value of a U-M degree is lessened because its holders don't know how to use a mouse.

1/

and operates Safewalk and Northwalk, helping to prevent more victims. However, its use of misleading or false statistics is highly improper, especially considering the fact that this propaganda is financed with University (Le. students') money. f\.R

SAPAC believes that all men are potential rapists.

BAMN believes that everyone opposed to affirmative action is racist.

MIM believes that Maoist Communism is the future.

RAIL believes there is a war against blacks being perpetrated by the FBI. What does all this mean?

Acronyms breed left-wing radicalism.

Forget all these groups and join the Review. Absolutely no acronyms guaranteed.

Come to one of our action-packed staff meetings every Tuesday night at 7 pm in the Michigan League building.

-~~ ....

The Final Solution In order to give students the liberal arts education they both expect and pay for, the University of Michigan administrators must review and revise the core requirements for graduation.

In order for the U-M to meet its goal of a diverse education, the Language Requirement must be brought into the twentieth century, and the Race and Ethnicity Requirement must be abolished. To meet the expectations of employers and believers in "The Leaders and Best" everywhere, the U-M must institute a basic computing requirement and enhance the English and Literature requirement. Only through these or similar changes will the U-M once again become the elite public institution it ... once was. f\.R

Germany Continued from page 11 "when extreme parties get into power, they are tamed."

Inglehart foresees very little change with regard to the social issues and rights of German racial minorities, primarily Turkish working-class immigrants. While Schroeder might be inclined to push for more voting and citizenship rights for the German underdass, Inglehart sees Schroeder as "not being concerned with [minority issues] too much." This would be a continuation of the Kohl government's handling of the issue. Kohl, who was successful at avoiding the question of minority rights in an extremely racially stratified society, traditionally kept the issue out of the public spotlight.

It will be interesting to observe the change that is bound to occur in Germany over the next few months as a left-wing government receives the reins of power for the first time since 1982.

Let's just hope the left-wingers eventually emerge from their stay in power in Germany with a public image a bit less scathed than they have in the current administration in this country. M1

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:firm

Winfrey Successful, J\gain

BY TOM JOLLIFFE

T

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MANY FOLKS, OPRAH Winfrey is the decade's premiere heroine; an inimitable paragon of ambition and good nature.

While her television talk-show has not always been above the regrettable subjects for which daytime programming is so notorious, the decency of its host is a saving grace. In that milieu, only Geraldo Rivera approaches Oprah's sincerity, and none touch her empathy.

With her various dimensions of character and ability, Oprah remains fresh in the public view.

tJ3efovetf Directed by Jonathan Derome Starring Oprah Winfrey, Danny Glover, Thandie Newton Enter Jonathan Denune's film Beloved, the stirring runaway-slavedrama adapted from Toni Morrison's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. In taking the role of Sethe, a woman who helped her familyescape an oppressive Kentucky plantation, Winfrey shows the social and

DSpORTS

performance more than rises to the octwenty-ninth day is revolting, but raises casion. into relief the notion of that fading virBeloved plays out in a series of flashtue, Responsibility. Sethe's commitment to her family is something literbacks illustrating Sethe's passage to Ohio and the "first twenty-eight days ally awesome, even if her modus operof freedom" enjoyed at Bluestone Street. andi is bloodcurdling. In Sethe we see These four weeks of utopian self-sufficourage, as w:ell as a certain matter-offact sensibility. The supernatural is ciency for Sethe, her mother-in-law treated here as a condition to be faced, Baby Suggs (Beah Richards), and her not fled from. When the family dog two little girls and boys are goldenhued, rich recollections. Some of loses its eyes to the spirit's malevolent Beloved's most moving scenes are the thrashing, Sethe finds them again and memories of enigmatic Baby Suggs replaces them in their sockets.

In building themselves a life folleading the village folks in woodland spiritual sessions; these images of overlowing the inhumanity of the plantadue liberty and group solidarity touch tion, people like Sethe and Paul D. faced an enormous task. On paper, their lot the quick. The twenty-ninth day, howimproved, but when we account for ever, is a different story. When the Kentucky plantation owners from the their indelible memories and the dis"Sweet Home" catch up with Sethe and crimination facing them, their new life her family, the filmgoer witnesses one was hardly easy. It would be a century before their ancestors could begin to of the more dreadfully moving scenes assume their natural and equal station in recent memory, Saving Private Ryan included. The consequences of the in life, but the first postbellum Africantwenty-ninth day's action form the meat Americans were determined to give of the movie, such that divulging the their life meaning through faith and sacrifice. With Derome as her deft dicontent here would be ruinous.

The themes at heart of Beloved are rector, Winfrey has given us an imporoverdue for the contemporary Ameritant glimpse of this grinding condition can scene. That which transpires on thc:._~in Beloved. ~

Whither the Powerhouses?

BY HAL BORKOW

P

historical cognizance she evinced in The Color Purple and Native Son. The film begins with a startling glimpse of supernatural mayhem in Sethe's Ohio house. After two sons flee, Sethe remains steadfast in the haunted Ohio home with her daughter Denver (Kimberly Elise); she refuses to run yet once more in their life. When old friend Paul D. (Danny Glover) takes up with them, the spectral activity ends - and new phenomena of sorts begin. A mysterious, awkward young woman appears in front of the house - she calls herself Beloved. In caring for their recuperating guest, Sethe and Denver grow fond of the spirit-like, erratic Beloved (ThandieNewton), despite a lasting uncertainty surrounding the girl's origin. It is within this framework that the controversy about her "too-thick" love, and the true nature of Beloved, are revealed.

The cinematic realization of Morrison's book has been on co-producer Winfrey's agenda for over a decade, and she has been unswerving in her commitment to portray Beloved's protagonist. Without falling prey to hyperbole, it may be said that Winfrey's

ARITY REIGNS lHROUGHout college football this year.

The 1998 season has treated pigskin fans to numerous upsets. Of The Sporting News's preseason top five, only Ohio State has remained undefeated.

Florida State, a preseason number one in some polls, lost to North Carolina State. The Wolfpack promptly lost to the mighty Baylor Bears the next week, but N.C. State came back to beat Syracuse in their next game. Michigan fans need no reminder of what that inconsistent Syracuse squad did to the Wolverines.

Meanwhile, the seemingly unbeatable Nebraska Cornhuskers have been proven human. Following their thrashing of the ever-underachieving Washington Huskies, Nebraska lost to Texas A&M. Some have circled Nebraska's November contest with Kansas State as their most challenging, but I'll predict here that Nebraska wins that game easily. At least if that happens we won't have to hear silly Kansas State fans claim that their team gets no respect in college football.

Why all the upsets this year? The answer rests with the great parity this season. None of the preseason top-20 realiy strike me as being dominant. Also,

the current undefeated teams aren't as solid as their records would indicate.

Kansas State may be undefeated, but their non-conference schedule included Indiana State,Northern Illinois, and Northeast Louisiana. To their credit, the Wildcats beat Colorado in Boulder, but it was not the most impressive of wins. Their November 14 game against Nebraska will be their judgment day. Until they show-up against the Cornhuskers (1997: 56-26 loss) I can't call Kansas State a legitimate national title team.

The U.c.L.A. Bruins are another unbeaten squad, yet the PAC-10 is a collective defensive liability. While Tennessee deserves credit for their early playas well,I don't think the '98 Volunteers are more talented than their '97 predecessors. If you ask coach Phillip Fulmer who he'd rather have at quarterback and outside linebacker, he'd surely ask for Manning and Leonard Little. Still, Peerless Price and Jermaine Copeland have done a good job filling the void at receiver left by NFL-bound Marcus Nash.

As for number one Ohio State, I'll admit they are a talented squad. But being a preseason number one (as Ohio State was in the AP poll) is not a good omen, as that distinction rarely holds true for those teams come January 2nd.

And, recalling Ohio State's past performances against Michigan, you could say they are as much choke-artists as they are talented. If the Buckeyes finish 12-0 they'll deserve· all the accolades attendant to national championships.

But their thrashing at the hands of Florida State last January is an indelible memory. I just don't see them as being that strong relative to past number one teams.

Wherefore, then, this apparent lack of stellar teams? You can start by looking at the quarterback position on some of the nation's most talented squads.

Florida State's Chris Weinke seems to have the Scott Dreisbach syndrome butterfingers. Wienke's fumbles almost cost his team in their opening game against Texas A&M. Against N.C. State the proud Seminoles' offense was held stagnant throughout the contest.

I've only seen the Florida Gators play once this year, and that was against Tennessee in an exciting but poorly played game. Florida quarterback Doug Johnson and Tennessee's Tee Martin traded turns with their errant passes.

Meanwhile, with each Florida offensive possession, head coach Steve Spurrier looked like a piece of his soul died. But given Spurrier's massive ego, he probably thought that he could throw on a helmet and do a better job than

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Michigan, too, has had trouble at the quarterback spot, as Brian Griese's departure created some anxiety. I doubt that Uoyd Carr wanted to follow a dual quarterback model, yet that's exactly • how it turned out. Against Notre Dame and Syracuse he benched Tom Brady for Drew Henson, which had to shatter his starter's confidence. Although Michigan's early QB troubles led to defeats and no offensive leader, since the MSU game Tom Brady seems to have earned himself the starting spot.

His ability to capture the confidence of Uoyd Carr has led to him earning the confidence of his teammates as well.

It's ironic that the weakest link on college football's best teams has been at quarterback. With NFL prospects Cade McNown, Brock Huard, Donovan McNabb, Dante Culpepper, and Tim Couch, college football is rich with talentat thepostition. ButonlyU.C.L.A.'s· McNownhas guided his team to a good start. As for the relative parity in college football, it wouldn't surprise me if on January 2nd no team remained undefeated. I suppose that would be the last thing the pollsters need. l\-R

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Heather Nova:,.A Modern Day 5lren

BY CHRIS HAYES

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EATHER NOVA SEEMS TO be one of tile lucky ones who has it all. Her childhood seems like a dream come true, splitting time living in Bermuda and traveling on a sailboat. She was probably adored by the guys due to her combination ofnatural beauty and creative intellect. She went to college in Rhode Island and then moved to Londau to take a stab at music. And it worked, as she was

Siren Heather Nova WorkGroup

discovered playing a gig in London. Her first album in the states, Oyster (1995) received critical acclaim and established a fan base. Her latest effort, Siren, released this summer on WORK/Sony, is getting the same with two singles already released.

She has the talent to perfonn a live set to perfection, with power and energy, yet createan album that is beautifully seductive in its subtleties. Yeah, she is damned lucky.

I had the opportunity to sit down with Heather before her show at the ::ieventh House earlier in October. After talking with her, I realized that luck is not involved.

Her drive for arlisticexpression and doing what her soul tells her to do is what opened the doors for her. Not luck. Here is what she had to say.

MR: Where were you playing last night?

Heather Nova: I was in Cincinnati.

When did you start the U. S. leg of your tour? .

We did the month of July doing a week on Lilith Fair and then a few weeks of our own dates. After that! was back in Europe doing more festivals. I started touring in Europe back in March.

what to expect. I mean the atmosphere was incredible. I have never played a festival-type thing where there is so much camaraderie and support among the artists. I find that more times than not artists backstage are trying so hard to be cool that no one really hangs out together. I thought the camaraderie was really nice about Lilith. It was a really good week; I could have done it all summer.

Would you rather have that situation, where you are one among many, or would you rather be playing where people are there just to see you?

Of course it is really nice to do your own gigs. It is really gratifying when people come and know all'the words to my songs. But Lilith was good because I feel that when you playa gig like that you are sort of converting people as well, which is a challenge. And I like playing outside - it's my favorite venue.

You said that you tour extensively and enjoy the live thing. Do you feel that playing live shows is your calling, as opposed to time in the studio?

I like them both because they are accessing different parts of you. I like the studio because that is the time to be creative. Well, more so than writing, because I do that alone. I guess that is the solitary time. Then the studio is

where you bring it all to life, and I love that. But being on the road is where the songs are making the connection between you and the people. I believe that I perform best live. I think I play better live than in the studio and I always try to capture that when I go to record, but it is really hard to do because there is something that happens with the energy of a gig. It allows you as a performer to abandon yourself more. It is a pretty cool feeling.

Tell me how you got started. Everyone says they always have had a love for music, but at what point did you say "This is what I am going to do?"

I think it came when I was faced with the real decision that you have to do something. You get out of college and Hotels. But you know what! hate most? you say ISh-t, I can't waffle around It's air conditioning. Everything is air anymore. I have to do something with conditioned - the bus, the hotels. I like my life. I have to make a living.' I had real air. You know, you get these little gone to art school and had taken paintpet peeves. I like being on the road. I ing and a lot of film courses. The logical don't even mind the bus thing because thing was to go find a job in the film I have a great band and crew and we industry, because I was qualified to do have a lot of laughs. It's nice. that. But when it came right down to the crunch, that wasn't going to fill my I'm wondering about the crowds at creative instinct the way music would. your shows. I'm wondering if you I was writing a lot in college and made ever notice anyone at your shows who a demo tape. So at that point I said 'Fis there not because of your music, but -k it, I'm just going to try because if I instead are there because they think you are "hot?" Do you ever get anyonâ&#x201A;Ź"# don't try I will always wonder.' It didn't screaming at you because of looks inmake much sense financially or logically, but I didn't feell had much tolcise stead of your music? , at that point. It was at that point that I moved to England for a number of I get that every now and then. But not personal reasons. I wanted an advena lot. Maybe I just don't notice it. When I hear that, I do get upset because what ture and go somewhere new. I wanted to get way from a ... um ...a really psycan you do? It works for you and chotic ex-boyfriend. against you, being ...attractive. Yet, I So I moved there and started playing tiny gigs with my acoustic guitar and really p~ugged away at it. Then someone saw me play who ended up becoming my manager and then I got a record deal. It's been a long road; it's been seven years since I got started. It was one step at a time. The hardest part about it, as with any artist, is that your work is so much a part of you, and any rejection feels like a total kick in the face. It is hard to keep going after a rejection and keep believing in yourself.

Does anything annoy you on the road?

Was Sirens released in Europe before it was in the States?

What was your childhood like?

Yeah. Tha t' s where I have done most of my touring. Sirens is actually my fifth album. I have built up a fan base over there really by touring and playing festivals a lot. For my last record, Oyster, I only was able to tour once in the States, which was disappointing to me because I really believe in the live thing. SO, for this record I am going to tour a lot more over here.

I was born in Bermuda. I go there to visit family even though I live in London. It was nice growing up there. What I miss the most is the life we lived there.

It was very ~ple and the life I live now is far from that. We lived on a sailboat most of my childhood and Bermuda was homebase.

Did you go to school?

How was playing Lilith?

Keep your eyes open for Heather returning this winter for a gig.

It was actually amazing. I didn't know

really feel I have reached people with my music because of the fans who come and talk to me. They talk to me about the music and the lyrics and how it meant something to them. There are always going to be a few a-holes, but what can you do? That's life.

Sometimes not. Life was brought down to basics. We had no electricity or running water. It was nice in a way.

October 28, 1998

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The Funk Soul Brother

BY MICHAEL AUSTIN

A

15

s ONE OF ONLY FIVE STOPS

in the United States, technomusic OJ Fatboy Slim stopped off at the Motor Lounge in Hamtramck to promote his new album, You've Come a Long Way, Baby. Slim got the crowd moving rigftt from the start, with "Everybody Needs a 303" from his first album Better Living Through Chpnistry.

The big-beat style continued as Slim showed why he is one of the hottest OJs in the world. The crowd was treated to a number of songs off the new release, such as his next single "Gangsta Trippin," all of which included samples ranging from Public Enemy to Young

Me.

Then, halfway into the show, something happened. The pre-recorded records Slim would mix and blend spontaneously started rwming longer, and the samples became increasingly scattered. Eventually the show degenerated into generic bass-driven beats. In addition to being monotonous, it was the exact opposite of Fatboy Slims innovative style. Not that the club-goers minded, since about half were concen-

Nova Continued from page 14

How do you think that lifestyle affected you in comparison to growing up in a suburban atmosphere?

I have no idea because I don't know how I would have been different. I think it made me more resourceful and pretty independent. I was forced to amuse myself often. Maybe that is how I started writing songs.

How do go about making your albums true to yourself as a songwriter, especially when outside forces, like label executives may be asking for other things? How does Sirens fit into that?

When I went into the studio, my label said, 'We really need some singles on this record.' I just said, 'Forget it.' You can't ask me to write singles. I'm not that kind of artist. I write a song if I feel it. Seriously, that's the way I wotk. I write melodies because they come to me. If they sound like they will sound good on the radio, then that is a bonus.

So then they shut up and left me alone.

Then they heard the demos and said there were no singles and I think they were wrong. The music industry is sometimes the enemy of music, which

trating on dancing and still holding onto their drinks and light sticks at the same time.

Slim got back to his signature mixing technique to give a solid finish to close the show, mixing radio hit "The Rockerfella Skank" with The Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction." A phenomenal remix of the Beastie Boys' "Body Movin'" kept the momentum going, and a new version of "Cross Town Traffic" by Jimi Hendrix, and the Who inspired "Going Out of My Head" rounded out the two hour set. The powerful start and strong finish dearly offset the inconsistencies in the middle of the show.

Overall, Fatboy Slim's innovative . style is best in its undiluted form. The is so ironic. But I was lucky some of it came out sounding radio-friendly. But I certainly don't go in with that intent.

I like pop and I like to create hooks and stuff. But that's because I enjoy it.

I think every album is a reflection of you and what you are going through at that time in your life. On Oyster, I was talking about a lot of difficult personal things I was going through. In a way, some of those songs were about being a victim. On Sirens, I totally recovered and felt like this is a positive album.

Musically, it is different. I started enjoying the songs on Oyster more when I played them live. On Sirens I wanted the music to breath a bit more and be more raw with the guitars more intense.

But the album is more textured and layered than a live show. I'm surprised you make that analogy.

Yeah, there are a lot of layers on it.

Maybe that is what I wouldn't do so much of on the next album. That's what's good. You do something on an album and think 'Yeah, that's it,' until you listen to it and then you say, 'hmmm... ' I wasn't saying it was a bad thing.

It isn't a bad thing. It sort of creates a journey for the next album.

Fatboy Slim funks it up at the Motor Lounge in Hamtramck. concert format allows him to blend one song into' another, forming more of a continuous mix than a collection of songs. When Slim uses this freedom to its full potential, he surely does not disappoint. ~ ~._~ What do you see as the most successful part of the album?

Well, any song I write succeeds if I feel I have captured the essence of what I want to say, which is sometimes scary to do when so many people are listening to it and judging it. But I think it is so crucial to what a good song is that you have to do it.

What is the least successful part?

Write for Review Arts.

We're the funkiest bunch of people in ADD Arbor! study that kind of alternative medicine. There is a whole other realm of healing that the West could be open to.

What have you been listening to?

Elliot Smith, Maxwell, Massive Attack, Air. Tell me what you think about criticism and critics. Do you think sitting here is total bullshit and you just do it because it is a necessary evil?

I wouldn't change anything radical.

In a way I have problem with criticism with art, in general. I think if someone is making something which is true to '-herself, which is something with integrity and something that is meaningful to them, then enough said. Then that's valid and that is a piece of art and that I had forty songs written for this album.

So I then narrowed it down to twenty is going to move people. Then there is and then we recorded eighteen of those. no need for criticism. The problem is I had to chose which four to take off and arising when people are making stuff it was really hard. I wanted to take five 路 for alternative reasons, like ego and or six off but I couldn't decide which stuff. Then maybe the critics are needed to point that out. There are some really ones. I know it is a little longer than I would like because I believe an album good journalists out there and then there are some who just like to hear themshould be fifty minutes. Hey, look at it as more value for the money. selves talk.

Fourteen songs is an unusually large number of tunes for a solo artist to put on one album. Where did that decision come from?

What would you be doing a year from now if you couldn't play any longer?

What is the worst question you've been asked in an interview?

Probably having a baby. There are many other things that interest me. I am into Chinese medicine and I would like to

'What is it like to be a woman in rock?'

I hate that que!'-tion. M{

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