vol_17_no_4

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Volume 17, Number 4

MSA Candidates B,attle for Seats

BY MATIHEW

November 18.1998

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan

Cohen Room '

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VER THE PAST FEW WEEKS, a battle of flyers has taken place in aU University buildings, most notably Angell Hall. This Wednesday and Thursday, the battle will cuhninate in a victory. The prize? Seats on the Michigan Student Assembly.

The question is, who will the victors be? That is for the voters to decide.

The New Frontier Party (NFP), Defend Affirmative Action Party (DAAP), and a handful of independents are vying to overthrow the current incumbent, the Students' Party (SP). Each of the 43 candidates is trying to win one of the 21 open seats in the assembly.

The three parties are all in agreement on some key issues, signifying that some of the recent controversial actions of MSA and the administration have struck a nerve. First and foremost, each party feels that the infamous Student Code of Conduct (SCC) is unconstitutional and must be reviewed. Two parties, the NFP and the SP, specifically state reviewing the Code as one of their party's goals. All parties also take issue with the administration's decision to discontinue traditional printed course guides in favor of online guides, although only the NFP and SP have stated it as an official party goal.

However, that is where the similarities end, and specific party platforms become pronounced.

Students' Party The SP is the only party running that feels MSA is doing a commendable job. This is not surprising, as the SP is the current incumbent party in MSA, with a majority of seats. "I think everyone involved is pretty happy with the institution of student government this year," said Ron Page, SP Chairman.

"We're working towards the interest of students, and we're just trying to do our best and improve students' life on

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Letters to the Editor

Outraged reaction to our coverage of SAPAC.

4

Debate

BY LEE BOCKHORN

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MSA elections: flyers, flyers everywhere campus.

As it stands, MSA is committed to upholding and enhancing the responsibility of being liaisons between the student body and the administration.

We will create a student government that truly represents the students and is utilized by the students."

What are the SP's long term goals?

Said Page, "Under our leadership, student government will continue to pursue projects focusing on diversity and minority affairs, academic issues, campus safety, and environmental issues, while uniting under the banner of bringing students to students."

SP has four specific goals they believe would improve students' lives.

Since the party has a majority in MSA, each goal is already in the works. The first is to get student input in the upcoming Code review. One of the regents' stipulations when the Code was created, said Page, was that it would be subject to review every three years.

"Student input in [the Code review] wasn't accounted for, so we want to be N

From Suite One

We offer our endorsements for the upcoming MSA elections and our opinion on Bollinger's big move. .

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involved in that. .. . We don't think the SCC is the best thing for the students."

Of a less controversial nature is MSA's ongoing effort to create a student-run course pack store, another Students' Party goal. According to Page, it has been stonewalled various times throughout the years, first because they had the professor support but no copiers, and then the copiers but no professor support. Right now, however, "it's pretty much in the works," he said. "All we need now are the copiers and we need to get 15 professors on board to make course packs with us and it will be a go."

Another issue of importance to students is the delapidated Central Campus Recreational Building. "If you ever go there you can see that the facilities are becoming run down and inadequate for student use," Page said. "Thewhole facility needs a new face and new equipment. We are working to put together a co~ttee to help start the process of

N OCTOBER 20TH, Residential College Director Tom Weisskopf announced that plans to dedicate an East Quad reading room in honor of RC professor Carl Cohen had been canceled. This announcement provoked angry reactions on campus from friends and colleagues of Cohen, a prominent figure in the current debate over affirmative action at the University of Michigan. It was Cohen who used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain admissions data which has since become the basis for the lawsuits challenging U-M/s affir-路"1't\ative action policies.

The timing of the announcement has raised questions about the motivations for the cancelation. Some believe that Cohen's outspoken opposition to the University's affirmative action policies led the administration to scrap the honor, fearing a public backlash from minority students. They cite the fact that the plan to name the room after Cohen, which was over a year in the making, was dropped only after a public campaign against it was begun by Kevin Jones, a U-M student and former East Quad Resident Advisor.

In an October 15th letter to the Michigan Daily, Jones asked, "What person deserves a room dedicated to him who constantly tries to segregate our university community through his 'doctrines'?" He urged students to "research the climate that [Cohen] has created for some of the students of color in his classes," and also quoted Black Student路 Union Speaker Ju Juan Buford as saying that Cohen '''has expressed blatantly racist views concerning African-

See M$A on Page 5

Review columnists

c.r Carnacchio fights antismoking tyranny, while Lee Bockhorn looks at American stupidity.

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News and Views

The Shape of the River reviewed, a debate on Microsoft, inSight on the elections and Iraq, and more.

See COHEN on page 8

Sports and 13 Music Andrew Golding previews U-M hoops, Rob Wood just says no to" andro," and Chris Hayes reviews new albums.

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November 18,1998

THE MICHIGAN REvIEw

Til L lV1](,1I1(; .\;-": RE\ ' II': W

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The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan 'What's the big deal with Diet Coke?"

EDITORIAL BOARP

A recent editorial in the Michigan Daily which offered their endorsements for the U-M Regents race had the following headline: "Vote White, Power." An oh-so-subtle message, perhaps? The Daily is racist, the Daily is racist! Protest, protest!!!

EDfTOR-IN-CHIEF: PUBLISHER: MANAGING EDITOR: CAMPUS AffAIRS EDITOR: ARTS EDITOR: FEATURES EDITOR:

EPITORIAL STAff

W,riYrl

By the way, speaking of "racists," we'd like to announce that we're naming our office the "Carl Cohen Center for Student Anti-Affinnative Action Racists in Training." Congratulations, ProfessorCohen!

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ASSISTANT EOITOR: MUSIC EDITOR: SPORTS EDITOR: CONTRIBunNG EDITOR: ILLUSTRATOR: COpy EDITORS:

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With regard to the upcoming MSA elections, all Serpen~ Tooth has to say is: "Send in the Gowns!"

On November 3, 1998, the Review's weekly staff meeting was interrupted by a mob of 20 or so angry feminists.

Apparently, they were upset over Jacob Oslick's SAPAC piece in the last issue.

They were also upset that when they were little girls their parents never bought them Easy Bake Ovens or Betsy Wetsys. Serpent's Tooth would just like to say, "Why don't all you groovy chicks mellow out! Remember girls, militant feminism causes wrinkles."

President Clinton recently paid Paula

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JacobOslick Chris Hayes Rob Wood Matthew Buckley Astrid Phillips John Jemstad Matthew Schwartz

STAFF WRITERS: Michael AUstin, John Bach, Josh Benninghoff, Hal Borkow, DrorBaron, Brian Cook, Jay Figuraki,AndrewGolding, David Guipe, Arnol Parulekar

Just some reminders: Only 36 more shopping days until Christmas and less than 90 days to go before convicted cop-killer Mumia frys in the electric chair. Serpent's Tooth wonders what will happen to those six members of the Free Mumia Coalition once their cause is turned into a piece of the Colonel's extra-crispy.

Serpent's Tooth recently discovered that Jessica "Miss White Liberal Guilt 1998" Curtin wrote on her X.SOO listing that her favorite beverage was "liquified cat." Serpent's Tooth is shocked at her lack of sensitivity and compassion for animals. We insist that a1110cal aninal rights activists descend upon her residence immediately. Once there the activists must build a mass, integrated animal rights movement which will use any means necessary to combat her obvious anti-animal stance. We also recommend that she be placed in sensitivity training for a period of 10 years.Take no prisoners!

Lee Bockhom Sang Lee C. J. Camacchio Ben Rousch Tom Jolliffe Julie Jeschke

BUSINESS STAFF:

Jon Mazer Chad Silverstein

EDITORS EMERITI:

Benjamin Kepple Geoff Brown

The Michigan Review is the independent, student-run journal of conservative and libertarian opinion at the University of Michigan. We neither solicit nor accept monetary donations from the LJ-M. Contributions to the Michigan Review are tax-deduclible under Section 501 (c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code. The Review is not affiliated with any po/IIJ:aI party or university political group.

Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial board. Ergo, they are unequ~1y correct and just Signed articles, letters, and cartoons represent the opinions of the author and not necessarily those of the Review.

The Serpent's Tooth shall represent the opinion of individual anonymous contrbutors to the Review, and shOuld not necessarily be taken as representative of the Review's editorial stance. The opinions presented in this publication are not necessarily those of the advertisers or of the University of Michigan. We welcome letters, articles, and comments about the journal.

Okay, last time in this space we asked where the outrage of the campus Left had disappeared to. And boy, did they respondl There's nothing like having 25 angry feminists take (toler your weekly staff meeting ... And dumping our AngeR Hall newsstand in the shrubs outside the FIShbowl was a classy touch, tool

Daily columnist Sarah Lockyer, a pawn of the mysoglnlst patriarchal saccharin regime, enjoys a pleasant afternoon with friends Jones an $850,000 settlement in exchange for her dropping the sexual harassment lawsuit. Monica Lewinsky is apparently very angry because Jones turned down the President's request for oral sex and she received a huge cash sum, while Monica did gratify the President orally and all she recieved was a lousy poetry book and a stained dress. Moral of the story: Paula kept her mouth shut and got paid while Monica couldn't keep her mouth shut so she got screwed.

Hollywood has already begun cranking out movies about the ClintonLewinsky affair. Some titles include: "I Know Who You Did Last Summer," _

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Please address all advertising and subscription inquiries to: Publisher clo the Michigan Review.

"The Thing That Swallowed the President," "Bill and Monica's Erotic Adventure," and finally, "Chubby Attraction."

Top five reasons w~y John Glenn really went back into space: 5) Test effectiveness of Depends Undergarments in zero gravity.

4) How do dentures stand up to long term exposure to Tang?

3) How many hours of "When I was an astronaut..." stories can today's astronauts stand?

2) Can a walker be used on a space walk?

1) Testing possibJe Social Security solution. Can we just shoot the elderly off into space?

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editorial And Business 0ffIc:es: 911 N. UnIverIIty Avenue, Suite One Ann Arbor. MI 48109-1265 EMAIL: mrev@umlch.edu URL: htlpiiwww.umlch.tduI...I1V8Yl Tel (734) 647-8438 Fax (734) 936-2505 CopyrIght 0 1", by The IIdIIgon RoMft,Inc. AllrIgIIII-*.

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November 18, 1998

3

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o LETTERS To THE EDITOR

Outrage Over We received numerous responses to Jacob Oslick's article "SAPAC: Sex, Lies, and Statistics," which appeared in our October 28, 1998 issue. Due to the volume ofletters we are unable to print them all here, but we will post them on our website. The following letter was presented at a Review staffmeeting by a group ofapproximately 20 people, and is indicative of the tenor of the majority of the responses. - Ed. To the Editor: We would like to address some of the errors and inaccuracies stated by Jacob Os lick in his article entitled "SA PAC: Sex, Lies, and Statistics." (October 2,1998) From the beginning of the article, Oslick demonstrates his ignorance on the subject of violenceagainst women by continually confusing and distorting the differences between different forms of sexual assault.

To begin with, the definition of sexual assault that SAPAC uses encompasses all forms of unwanted sexual contact, whereas Koss's study included only rape and attempted rape.

Oslci criticizes SAPAC's inclusion of "unwelcome or forcible fondling" into their definition of sexual assault. He feels that this inclusion fails to distinguish "actual rape" from "improper petting." However, Michigan Criminal Sexual Conduct Laws clearly distinguish the two as first (or third) degree criminal sexual conduct and fourth degree criminal sexual conduct. Therefore, Oslick's criticism is not only applicable to SAPAC, but to the state of Michigan and the majority of other states in the U.S. as well.

Another glaring error made by Oslick is his uneducated portrayal of Professor Mary Koss's well~known study, which is respected not only in feminist circles but in academia as well. Oslick distorts Koss's famous "1 out of 4" statistic by suggesting that all of these assaults occurred during the average of four years that a women is enrolled in undergraduate studies. Koss's actual findings demonstrate that 1 out of 4 college women has experienced rape or attempted rape. This study in no way represents the reality of sexual assualt during college years alon, but represents a culmination of women's lives up to these formative years.

Next, Osliel<. states that "73% of the women [KossJ identified as 'victims' did not 'characterize their sexual encounters that way when asked directly.'" However, this reflects a widespread confusion concerning the legal definition of rape. Though the women did not define their experience as rape in legal terms, the events they reported did meet the legal defintion of rape.

Many women were not aware of the fact that vioience committed by an intimate partner would meet the legal definition of rape.

Professor Koss studied the prevalence of rape in colleges and not feelings of victimization.

Oslick continues on a path of victimblaming by criticizing the women in Koss's study for continuing to "engage in intercourse with their 'attacker,' after the 'assault' occurred." This criticism fails to recognize the many reasons. a woman in a sexually intimate relationship would con-

"S~~C:

Sex, Lies, and Statistics"

tinue to stay with her abusive partner, including self-blame, confusion, further abuse, and desires of women to make relationships work. The fact that intercourse (with consensus or not) occurs after a rape does not mean that the initial assault did not occur.

Oslick views "rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence ... as isolated, rare incidents" and does not recognize the gravity of sexualized violence. By sarcastically stating that SAPAC seeks "to paint a picture of countless hordes of young women falling victim to patriarchal suppression," Oslick ingnores the recurring statistics cited by organizations and associations across America that illustrates the prevalence of sexualized violence. A National Crime Victimization SUrvey reports that 469 rapes occurred on a daily basis in 1991. Between 1995 and 1996, over 670,000 women experienced rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault, according to a 1997 U.s. Department of Justice statistic.

Oslick also labels domestic violence as a "greatly inflated statistic," when in actuality, 3 to 4 million women are beaten by their partners each year (according to former Surgeon General Koop). UNIFEM, a U.N. non-governmental agency, estimates that 10-14% of all married women in the U.s. have been raped by their husbands. These widespread statistics demonstrate the seriousness of domestic violence and illustrate the great numbers of women who are affected by domestic violence. To call such statistics "inflated" disregards the hundreds of thousands of women beaten, burned, strangled,humiliated, raped, and murdered each year.

Oslick's skeptical criticism of SAPAC' s estimate'that"1 out of 6 rapes are reported to the police" demonstrates his lack of knowledge concerning the reasons women do not report sexualized violence to the police. Out of the 683,000 women over 18 years old who experienced rape in 1990, 84% did not report the event to the police, according to the National Victim Center in 1992. Statistics such as this one remain consistent on college campuses and in cities through out the u.s. For example, only "5 (not the predicted 188) forcible rapes, sodomies, and sexual assaults with an object" that occurred last year on the University of Michigan campus were reported to the University Department of Public Safety. Many reasons exist as to why women do not report sexualized violence. Often, women's lives are threatened and they cannot safely report their assault to the police. Many women do not know the legal definitions of sexual assault; therefore, they do not know that what they experienced is a crime. Some women fear the treatment they will receive by friends and family after they report an assault; others fear they will not be believed. Many women who report assaults to the police experience victim blaming; others do not have the resQurces to prosecute their perpetrator or seek legal guidance.

These are only a few of the reasons that approximately less than one in three rapes and sexual assaults were reported to law enforcement agencies in 1996 (U.S. Department of Justice, 1997).

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We believe that Jacob Oslick's treatment of sexual assault and SAPAC's missian is uneducated, unresearched, and demonstrates a paucity of knowledge in the arena of sexualized violence against women.

Sexualized violence is a serious, pervasive problem in our society, and unless people start to realize its prevalence and effects, we cannot begin to deal with the problem.

Mr. Oslick responds: Dear Concerned Individuals, First, you claim that I demonstrated my "ignorance" by distorting the differences between the various forms of sexual assault. In fact, in my article I clearly state that "Unlike Koss, who only considered acts ofpenetration as 'sexual assault,' SAP AC also includes unwelcome or forcible fondling under their umbrella definition." In reality it is SAP AC that distorts the definition by blurring the distinction . Unlike the Michigan CrimiMl Sexual Code, SAPAC does not distinguish between different degrees of sexual assault in all its literature (though it does in some). Rather, it labels everything under one "umbrella definition."

Next, you call my critique of Prof KDss's study as "uneducated." However, the conclusions she reached do not correlate with other statistics your group cited (both in your letter, and orally at our meeting). For example,.PN1I taking at face value your stated claim' that 61 % of the assaults occurred before college (and I hold the constitutional right to skepticism, especially considering the veracity of these s tatistics), the picture does not alter significantly.

Using a base figure ofll (DPS reported sexual assaults over the past two years, two years being the average length oftime a college woman has been in college), then multiplying by 6 (since, as you claim, only 1 out of 6 women reports sexual assault), you reach a total of 66.

Then, dividing by .39 (the alleged percentage of rapes that occur in college), the total jumps to 170. Although this figure is significant, it is ridiculously be/ow the expected figure of 3000 (1 out of4 University women). Since you insist the statistics remain"consistent on college campuses and in cities throughout the U.S.," I think it is fair to assume that Michigan is not an island of safety for women. Thus, these figures show the general amount of exaggeration in Koss's study.

Furthermore, you state that my skepticism about the 1 in 6 reported figure demonstrates my "lack of knowledge" about sexual assault.

However, in the same letter you cite a different, more recent figure of 1 out of 3. Since you yourselves list two separate statistics (the other twice as high than 1 in 6), I feel this skepticism is not only justified, but consistent with a nonpartisan look at the issue. On the other hand, your seeming refusal to question any statistics (even those accumulated by highly partisan organizations), suggests where the true "Lackof knowledge" exists.

In the same regard, you criticize my comment that do"mestiClIiolence statistics are greatly inflated. However, sexual assault, not domestic violence, was the focus ofmy article, and I never specified which statistics I felt were inflated.

For the record, one such false statistic is the claim by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (a partisan organization simi-

lar to Ms., which sponsored Koss's study) thilt 1/3 of married women are beaten each year. As you yourselves can see, this number is far ab<we the 4 million women you cite. Indeed, this very claim substantiates my argument that feminist, partisan organizations tend to grossly inflate statistics, rather then providing objective information.

Lastly, you misunderstand my reasoning for pointing out the frequency of Koss's alleged "victims" continuing to engage in sexual activ- 路 ity with their "attacker. " I was not continuing on "a path of victim blaming." No where in the article do I blame women for the atrocities committed against them by sexual predators. Indeed, I labeled each of these instances a "trag~ edy." On the other hand, your attack bears remarkable resemblance to my claim-that one goal of inflated statistics is to perpetuate an "extreme feminist stereotype of men as Nean~ 路 derthal beasts. " In reality, I cited ~efigures to suggest that not all of Koss's reports were accurate. And yes, Neanderthal as it may seem, I suspect that the great majority of women do not remain sexually active with their rapists.

In reality, the true individuals displaying a "tack of knowledge" ate you, the "Concerned Individuals. " Rather then critically examining these propagandish statistics, you. accept them as dogma- despite the glaring intmuzl contradictions in your own lefter (1 in6,orl in3etc-J, and when you actually do the niath. Your re~ peated attacks on me as "uneducated" amount to an Orwellian twist on the truth - 1have not been re-educated by extreme feminists ~ withfalsefigures.MycentralclaimthiltSAPAC represents the University's version ofthe "Ministry ofTruth and Love" remains not only intact after your letter, but strengthened by yourcriticism. - JO

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o FROM SUITE ONE

November 18, 1998

eo....esy cI 1M USBIC EducaIIOnoI Foundillion (100)747.22111.

Muddle America I Bob Gorrell

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FTER SURVEYING THE CURRENT FIELD OF CANDIDATES VYING for seats in the Michigan Student Assembly (MSA), the Review would like to endorse the New Frontier Party (NFP) and the independent candidacies of Rory Diamond and Josh Trapani.

The NFP is the only party which truly seems to be devoted to protecting students' rights and liberties. The Review supports the NFP's platform which calls for the following: 1) reform the meal plan system; 2) end the University telephone monopoly; 3) reform th~ unconstitutional and draconian Student Code of Conduct; 4) bring back the printed course guides; 5) abolish the mandatory student fees; 6) the reinstirution of two-ply toilet tissue in University bathrooms. Their platform demonstrates a real desire to reform problems which have been either long neglected or perpetuated by both the MSA and the administration. NFP's libertarian perspective is exactly what is needed to protect the student body from an administration hell bent on regulating students' lives, violating their civil liberties, and picking their pockets. The NFP candidates represent just the right mix of fresh ideas and devotion to concrete issues. They are definitely not the usual pack of selfserving, resume stuffers which usually dominate the MSA. The NFP would definitely put an end to the MSA's reign of political lunacy.

The Review would also like to endorse the independent candidacies of Rory Diamond and Josh Trapani. Both candidates possess a commodity which is sorely lacking in both the current and past MSA administrations - common sense. They

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nditry: James Carville's head finally explodes during another diatribe against Ken Starr.

Bollinger's MisgUided Move

While DAAP/BAMN members are quite adept at political intimidation, rabble rousin~, demagoguery, 'and hatemongering, they are not qualified to govern this campus.

URING HIS YEAR AND 1WO MONTHS AS UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT, Lee Bollinger has cultivated for himself an image of the "user-friendly" administrator. Bucking t\1e !!","tional executive profile of. tll~Pct1~~ bureaucratic automaton, Mr. Bollinger's good-faith efforts at tapping the student vibe have given us the Presidential Jog and South U. Mixer /FreeFall '97. And three words illustrate how his man-about-campus machinations have paid off: Presidential Fa(w)n Club. So now Mr. Bollinger, apparently intrigued with this amicable symbiosis, reveals his latest commitment to students with his plans to move his Administration from the compound-fortress Fleming building to the accessible, chummy Angell Hall by the year 2000. We at the Review are provoked only to embarrassment.

Is the decision to move really serving students? The Fleming building, after all, stands merely a convenient hundred yards from the student union building, and the refurbishment attendant to relocation only hurts student-administrator dialogue, what with those beeping service' vehicles. Assuming that the Administration doesn't suddenly take an open-door policy, we are confused as to the benefits of a president working on the east side of State Street. If this were about Administration convenience, we'd like Mr. Bollinger to come out and say so. In fact, a "we need bigger offices to think better" excuse would sit better with us than a:t:tything having to do with "getting closer to students."

Mr. Bollinger plans to move to Angell Hall's first floor, the site of the current Office of the Registrar and the Academic Advising Office, which mayor may not then be relocated. A recent editorial in a major daily publication conjectured that Angell Hall will then become an administrative ghost town where students, like tumbleweed, would drift aimlessly looking for academic guidance. This argument shows imagination on behalf of said publication, but lacks logical compass. As vital University services that few students can do without, th~ Office of the Registrar and Academic Advising would be frequented regardless of their locations.

And it is rather unlikely that they will be relegated to the boondocks of North Campus. On the other hand, it is entirely possible that the University will decide to cram all administrative services into Angell Hall, and we find this a frightening prospect. Such a vortex of bureaucratic energy and red tape would work with kryptonite efficacy to keep us out.

As a means to improving communication with students; this AngeU2000 plan is nothing but a charade. Keeping a presidential finger on the student pulse has less to do with physical location than with social acuity, and Mr. Bollinger has been selectively silent on critical campus issues-the Code of Student Conduct, to name one. We should say here, however, that it appears Bollinger may be taking some steps towards real student discourse. We are far more encouraged by the news that he will soon release a public statement .regarding the COllen reading room controversy than with his moving plans. Office proximity is nO.stibstitute for rollup-the-sleeves student engagement that we hope Mr. Bollinger will initiate:~

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both see MSA as an institution which is supposed to deal with concrete student interests, not the plight of the Indonesian worker. They understand that their roles as MSA representatives are to serve the students, not themselves or the administration. These two would definitely be assets to the student body as legislative watchdogs who would not tolerate the usual political nonsense of the MSA. The Review also feels that the Students' Party (SP) has done absolutely nothing to merit student support. The SP seems to running on the" don't worry, be happy" platform. They feel the MSA is doing a commendable job and the status quo is acceptable. Of course, this is all the usual campaign trail public relations tripe that any fledgling incumbent party will spew forth in an effort to maintain power. The SP has done nothing of value or substance for the student body. They seem to think that as long as the electorate is fed a steady diet of grandiose promises such as the mythical student-run course pack store, they will be seen as actually working for students' interests-; regardless of whether ornot anything is actually accomplished.

It is high time we threw the bums out.

The one party which the Review wholeheartedly condemns is the Defend Affirmative Action Party (DAAP). DAAP is basically composed of members of the Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary (BAMN) running for MSA seats. While DAAP /BAMN members are quite adept at political intimidation, rai>ble rousing, demagoguery, and hatemongering, they are not qualified to govern this campus. They are not even qualified to live in polite society.

They do not care about representing students' interests or improving the quality of campus life. DAAP's sole agenda is to turn the MSA into a political mou thpiece for BAMN and advance the cause of affirmative action. A DAAP-run MSA would basically mean that every student, through their mandatory $5.69 student fee, would become a dues paying member of BAMN. DAAP is a single-issue party driven by single-issue fanatics. Put simply, to electDAAP members to the MSA is tantamount to letting the inmates run a mental institution. l\IR IEditor's Note: Jacob Oslick, Jon Jemstad, Mike Austin, and Dror Baron of the NFP are also members of the Review staff. They do not hold editorial board positions nor are they.responsihle in any way for this endorsement: . ~ .t¡

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November 18, 1998

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

MSA Continued from page 1 renovation, or at least lobby the administration for that renovation."

The SP's final goal is to overrurn MSA's decision to abolish printed course guides in favor of online guides.

"It's good to have something tangible in your hands," said Page. "Sometimes computers aren't the most reliable things. The online course guide is not what we'd like it to be." Page called last year's decision to do away with printed course guides "really just a bad move.

We think that thanhe [printed] course guide is a valuable resource for the students."

When asked to summarize the reasons students should choose the Students' Party, Page replied, "Student government is an imperfect institution, but those of us that are there are working as hard as pOSSible to maximize its potential, and we' re there day and night.

Sometimes we succeed and sometimes we fail but we are not being lazy. We are definitely giving it our all, every day, every hour, every minute."

New Frontier Party " As Chairman of the New Frontier Party," said Jacob Oslick, "I hope to jumpstart an MSA that for years has failed to deliver on matters of concern to students."

(Note: Oslick is an assistant editor - a non-editorial board position - of the Michigan Review.)

Oslick believes that MSA is doing nothing. "Is it living up to its potential?

Absolutely not, because it's not seriously challenging a lot of the major administrative issues." To which major administrative issues is Oslick referring? "Our major issues are ending funding for political groups, and privatizing services like the meal service and telephone monopoly.If The NFP wants to break down monopolies that plague the University.

According to Oslick, one of those monopolies is the Residence Halls Dining Services. He said that by contracting out to other companies, the "ridiculous" costs can be lowered. Also, an atmosphere of competition could arise by "placing the companies on a short leash, or ... contracting out different residence halls .to different companies."

This could subsequently drive down costs and improve food quality.

Another residence hall monopoly, said Oslick, isAT&T./TMoststudentsin the residence halls are basically forced, unless they use a dial around service, to use AT&T," he said. According to Oslick, by giving people who live in the dorms a choice of long distance companies, the per minute cost could be driven down from the Current high of 17 cents to the market rate of 10 cents. _ _ _ _ """""h.

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The NFP' s next~big goal is to do away with mandatory ljrtudent fees, because such fees contribute to the funding of political student groups. "MSA must remember that the University is a public university," said Oslick, "and there are serious constitutional questions with seizing student money for political purposes."

In order to demonstrate his point, Oslick cited the hypothetical. example of a student, opposed to affirmative action, paying the current annual $5.69 fee to MSA. Part of the money paid would then go to support extremist political groups such as the Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action By Any Means Necessary (BAMN). To prevent against such misrepresentations of student interests, said Oslick, MSA student fees should all be refundable upon request. "Considering that student fees are relatively low, I don't think too many people would take this option, so it shouldn't really impact MSA's budget priorities. It would, however, allow MSA to skirt some of what I consider

nally canceled the [printed] course guides."

Last but not least, members of the NFP are concerned about the quality of toilet paper available to students.

If elected, they would fight for students' right to 2-ply. "University students, especially those in the dorms, may suffer rashes or other discomfort because of the lack of 2-ply toilet paper, and its a relatively simple service to provide."

Defend Affirmative Action Party According to Jessica Curtin, BAMN member and Rackham DAAP candidate, the DAAP has one main goal in mind: "We want to be on MSA so that MSA as a body and as the official student leadership plays [an activist] role.

MSA would be leading action. [DMP's candidates] are the student activists on campus and what we would do on MSA is educate students about all issues, and also try to mobilize people, build demonstrations, build mass ac-

"Student government is an imperfect institution, but those of us that are there are ~. working as hard as possible to maximize its potential, and we're there day and night. ",., .,;"'~'"

II

the more troubling constitutional questions."

The NFP specifically states in its party platform its goal of replacing the Code with something more along constitutional grounds. Oslick stated four reasons why the Code is unjust: the Code is double jeopardy; the means by which students are tried under the Code is "very, very questionable;" the Code places students under a much higher standard than does a civil court of law; and the Code can be used to silence free speech.

"So when you combine all those factors," said Oslick, "they all contribute to an Orwellian atmosphere. We live in 1998, not 1984."

Like the SP, the NFP also has a specific goal to bring back printed course guides. Unlike the SP, Oslick has a proposal that could allow course guides to be printed, and still save the UniverSity money. "First of alt I would sell advertisements, just like many other universities do throughout the country .... You can CJ,'eate a significant advertising base and generate significant revenues. Secondly, if you charge money ... then you permit that luxury for students who want to use a printed course guide, and you don't run into the cost problems, which is [one reason] why MSA origi-

tions."

The DAAP's main goal, obviously, is to defend affirmative action. Curtin said that by using MSA as a vehicle to build a national movement, they could defend affirmative action much easier than to do it on their own. "MSA historically, has played a really progressive and active role in civil rights/' said Curtin. "We want to be on MSA to rebuild that movement."

While it seems that defending affirmative action is the DAAP's only goat "we are not a one party issue," said Curtin. She said that with seats in the assembly, the DAAP will fight to stop tuition increases, and to defend and expand grants and financial aid. "Generally tuition has been increasing at above the cost of inflation, and there's no reason for that to happen." Curtin added that persuading the administration to lower tuition and expand grants and financial aid completely depends on mobilizing students, and building a student movement.

Apparently DAAP's official solution to many problems facing students is to create student movements. "They are going to be general student movements," said Curtin. "It's not going to be a single issue thing." According to DAAP literature, they also plan to fight racism and sexism on campus, and in-

vestigate and take action against racist and sexist attacks. Curtin feels that.attack investigation should be one of MSA's roles, "because MSA is the only [body] that's going to act in the interest of students."

Regarding most administrative bodies, Curtin contends that" at worst they victimize you again, and at best they're unresponsive and don't provide justice.... The idea is that students should be in control of these kinds of issues, because what happens a lot of times when the administration is in charge of it, is that it victimizes students."

The DAAP literature also states that they want to fight for" consistent and competent" academic advising from freshman year to graduation. Curtin explained, saying that lithe current advisers are not particularly concerned because they know they may never see you again. It's all very haphazard, and it's totally pOSSible to get to the end of the year, ready to graduate, and (not] have a class you need .... We want [the advisers] to be more accountable, more responsible."

Another goal of the DAAP is to increase staff and resources in computing sites, and also the seemingly difficult task of eliminating printing costs.

Said Curtin, "I've been here for a while ... and printing used to be free. It was not even an issue - nobody ever imagined you would be charged for printing." How does Curtin propose to fund increased staff and free printing for students? "There's a lot of money in this university/' she reasoned.

Independent Candidates Some candidates are not running with a party, having instead chosen the more difficult route of going it alone.

There are a total of eight Independents, or just under one fifth of the candidates.

Independents cited many reasons why they are not running with an established party. "I'm running as an Independent because the SP, despite their lock on MSA has done nothing to help the student body," said Rory Diamond, Independent candidate for LSA. "The $5.69 that MSA takes from every stucLent is essentially wasted on random projects (such as the wicker caves on central campus) or is thrown at any organization that has a friend of a friend in the Students' Party."

Diamond cited many things he would fight for with a seat on MSA, his number one goal being better dorm food, closely followed by better toilet paper. He wants there to be '''real progress on the course pack store, and not just pre-election bull." He wants to institute a fall break, and wants to at-

See MSA on page 14

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6

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

November 18, 1998

o SEND LAWYERS, GUNS & MONEY

Liberty GQes Up In Smoke ~

. BY

c.J. CARNACCHIO

How many personal choices are we willing to surrender to arrogant dogooders who base their political authority on such rationales as "we know what's best for you" and "it's for your own good"? After smoking has been eliminated, just what will be next? A ban on Big Macs and Ding Dongs? A return to Prohibition and the Gestapolike tactics of Eliot Ness' Untouchables?

Mandatory exercise programs for a nation of couch potatoes? As the sagacious columnistH.L. Mencken once observed, "You know the type as well as I do .... Give him Prohibition, and he launches a new crusade against cigarettes, coffee, jazz, and custard pies."

Some may argue that the crusade against smokers' rights is not a grave threat to the people's liberty in general, but these individuals possess a rather narrow view of freedom. It is the little freedoms, the day-to-day choices about our lives, which are the most essential freedoms to maintain. Without the freedom to exercise these small personal

O

N NOVEMBER 19, 1998, tobacco prohibitionists, healthNazis, liberal do-gooders, and other members of the life-style police will come together to celebrate the Great American Smoke Out. But the Great American Smoke Out is not simply some benevolent attempt to help smokers kick the habit and preserve their C.}. health; it is part of the antiCamacchio smokers' agenda .to limit our freedom of choice and control our lives. This event is not about smokers snuffing out their cigarettes, it is about anti-smokers snuffing out our liberties.

First, let's establish a distinction between non-smokers and anti-smokers. A non-smoker is a person who has

c.J. Carnacchio is the Managing Editor of the Review. He loves fine cigars and high quality briar pipes, and sincerely hopes that every anti-smoker out there develops some foml of cancer. (C,. Iovesjrony.) ~::' ,.

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smoking from public establishments.

In January 1998, the California state legislature prohibited smoking- in all bars and casinos. Instead of letting smoking policies be determined by business owners and the free market, the state government saw fit to trample private property rights and .dictate policy. Both Jeffersonian and Lockean political thought agree that the surest way for the State to erode its citizens' liberty is to control their property. The government mandated "No Smoking" signs of California are beacons of intolerance and tyranny.

The State is also using the antismoking fervor in this country to trample the economic and political rights of the tobacco industry. When stripped of their political rhetoric, the recent tobacco settlements are nothing more than attempts by both the federal and state governments to extort money from an industry that manufactures and distributes a legal product. The government felt it was not getting enough money through taxes so it felt it had to raise money the old fashioned way - steal it "..", What's even worse is that tobacco -,- companies are being coerced into financing groups dedicated to putting them out of business. In Minnesota the anti-smoking organization Minnesota The State has utilized numerous Partnership for Action Against Tobacco forms of political oppression and diswill receive $202 million of that state's crimination against smokers. One such $6.1 billion tobacco settlement. Imagmethod is the aggressive taxation of ine if at the height of the Cold War, the tobacco products (i.e. "sin taxes"). In United Nations had forced the United New Jersey, Governor Christine "ReStates into funding the Soviet Union's pu blican-in-name-onl y"Toddnuclear weapons program.

Whibnan recently doubled the wholeThe State has also seen fit to blasale tax on non-cigarette tobacco goods, tantly violate the tobacco industry's raising it from 24 percent to 48 percent.

First Amendment rights, in the name of When combined with the 6 percent sales public health, by barring it from advertax, New Jersey smokers now. pay 54 tising through certain mediums. If a percent in taxes on their tobacco purproduct is legal to sell, then it should be chases. A few years ago, Michigan Govlegal toadvertise.1t is easy for people to ernor John Engler raised the state toignore it when the government supbacco tax to 16 percent in order to help presses the free speech rights of a facefund education. When did funding eduless industry, but what happens when cation become the responsibility of the next one the government tries to smokers? Not only are these tobacco silence is you? taxes burdensome and unjust, they reek Smoking has become more than of taxation without representation. the simple act of enjoying a soothing In many states, a portion of their tobacco product. It has become an act of staggering tobacco taxes goes directly defiance against the l}ealth fascists' into funding anti-smoking propaganda political and social tyranny. Smoking campaigns which portray smokers as has become a badge of honor to the true social lepers and.promote discriminalover of freedom and a symbol of rugtion against them. Smokers are, in a ged individualism. Every cigarette, cisense, helping to pay for their contingar, and pipe out there has become a ued persecution. As Thomas Jefferson small torch of freedom with which to wrote, "To compel a man to furnish fight the darkness of the anti-smokers' contributions of money for the propadespotism. To all you anti-smoking, gation of opinions which he disbelieves, tyrannical, health-Nazis out there, you is sinful and tyrannical." can kiss my ash. Mt Another method of oppression employed by the State is the ba'rring of

ing organizations. The Science Advisory Board, which exammed the EPA study on second-hand smoke, was loaded with anti-smoking activists.

Alvin Feinstein, a Yale University epidemiologist, stated that he was told by a prominent epidemiologist that the EPA's secondhand smoke study was "rotten science, but it's for a worthy cause. It will help us get rid of cigarettes and to become a smoke-free society."

So much for all that bull we often hear from the scientific community about objectivity and being above politics.

The anti-smoking movement has received aid and an air of legitimacy from the State in their drive for a smokefree society. Smoking, as a public health issue, has become yet another political Trojan Horse through which the State has been able to camouflage its usurpation of individual liberties. The State's pseudo-concern for citizens' health is just another excuse to raise taxes and further extend its power into the private sphere.

How many personal choices are we willing to surrender to arrogant do-gooders who base their political authority on such rationales as "we know · what's best for you" and "it's for your own good"?

chosen not smoke for various personal reasons, but still believes that others have the right to smoke if they choose to do so. They are defenders of the classical liberal principles of tolerance and freedom of choice; "live and let live" is their motto. The non-smokers possess attitudes towards others which nourish a society where the rights and liberties of the individual flourish.

The anti-smoker, in contrast, is a person who does not smoke and believes that no one else has the right to smoke. They are of a totalitarian mindset. The anti-smokers have absolutely no problem imposing their personal values and choices on the rest of society . Their attitudes foster a society where individual liberty is stifled and the tyranny of the majority (or minority) is a constant threat.

The anti-smokers are the self-righteous and self-appointed guardians of public health, sent here to save us poor wretches from ourselves. They won't let little things like the Constitution and individual rights stand in the way of their enlightened ideology. As the British Magazine The Economist observed, "America has taken leave of its senses over smoking ... The intolerance of anti-smoking movement is a greater threat than smoking."

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choices, such as choosing to smoke, the liberties we possess in larger affairs, such as voting, become meaningless.

As the French political writer Alexis de Tocqueville observed, "It must not be forgotten that it is especially dangerous to enslave men in the minor details of life. FOT my own part, I should be inclined to think freedom is less necessary in greatthings than in little ones, if it were possible to be secure of the one without the other."

The anti-smokers have proven that they have no ethical problems with deceiving the American public in order to achieve their objectives. A recent decision by U.S. District Court Judge Osteen invalidated a portion of the Environmental Protection Agency's (EPA) 1993 report on the respiratory effects of passive smoking. The court found that objective scientific standards were repeatedly violated in the EPA's risk assessment of secondhand smoke. Critical data was manipulated and several important studies which concluded that secondhand smoke led to NO statistically significant increases in the risk of lung cancer were mysteriously excluded. It appears that the EPA researchers had reached their conclusions Before the study even began.

Many of the EPA members who conducted the study had anti-smoking biases or were members of anti-smok"..

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November 18,1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

7

o LANTERNS & LANCES

Land of the IgnQlant, Home of the Morons ' Y"

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AST WEEK I SAW something on television which convinced me that when archeologists examine the ruins of our civilization centupes from now, they will conclude that the film Dumb and Dumber was not light-hearted entertainment, but rather a serious documentary of American imbecility at the end of the twentieth century. What convinced me was the latest installment . of Jay Leno's "Man on the Street" segLee ment on The ToBockhom night Show. For those who haven't seen it, during this segment Mr. Leno takes to the streets of southern California to ask everyday folks questions about current events, trivia, . historical topics, and the like. This is a ostensibly a humor bit, so the featured responses are usually outrageously ignorant and stupid. However, I didn't find last week's version funny. In honor of Veteran's Day, Jay hit the pavement to see what the average person knew about American war history. The answers were dOwnright scary. A sampling: Jay Leno: ''Who was our president during most of World War ll?" (Franklin Roosevelt) Twenty-something woman: "Abraham Lincoln?"

Leno: ''Who rode his horse through Boston shouting 'the British are coming!'?" (Paul Revere) Nose- and eyebrow-pierced young man: "Napoleon."

Lena: "What American place did the Japanese bomb in 1941 which brought the U.S. into World War II?" {Pearl Harbor, Hawaii} Another 'young woman: "Hiroshima."

At this point Leno figures perhaps he will have better luck asking about a more recent conflict: Leno: "Who was our enemy in the Persian Gulf War a few years ago?"

(Iraq) A different young man: "ltaly?"

Finally Leno decides to ask a question that even someone who didn't know the answer could figure out by firing up a few brain cells:

Lee Bockhorn is a senior in Music and LS&A, and the editor-in-chief of the Review. You can share your cultural ignorance with him at bockhorn@umich.edu.

Leno: "Who did we fight in the Spanish-American war?" (Spain, of course!)

Young woman: (Blru:U<. stare.)

What's worse, this was not a carefully selected group of the most benighted bumpkins from a large pool of interviewees; as Leno took pains to note, . these were all butane of the entire group of people he had spoken with. In other words, everyone he spoke to was completely ignorant of facts about America's history that even a middle school student should know.

Of course, it's become conventional wisdom that America's education system has serious problems; the evidence is all around us. For instance, a recent poll revealed that nearly 100 percent of today's youth can name the "Three Stooges," but not even 1 percent can name three current justices on the U.S. Supreme Court. On the most recent International Math and Science Sur-

chine, follOWing the latest fad while abdicating their crucial responsibility to provide a truly liberal education to students.

There are several reasons for this.

One is the rise of what has recently become known in academia as the /I consumer college." Colleges, desparate for the tuition dollars of growirtg numbers of students, have lowered standards dramatically, allowed grade inflation to skyrocket, and have seemingly be- . come more concerned wth providing students attractive amenities - cable .

TV in the dorms, etc. - than providing them with well-furnished souls.

Another problem is that we have allowed our universities to become, for all intents and purposes, glorified vocational schools instead of places devoted to liberal learning. We seem more intent on producing adept yet marvellously ignorant teChnicians than well-learned minds. Almost one quarter of current undergraduates are economics majors, and many of the rest are in pre-professional tracks like pte-Ia'w or pre-med. The universities even encourage this sort of thinking among students. Take the U-M's own Inteflex program, designed for those students who want to get on the fast track to medical school and the big bucks sure to follow. (Heaven forbid they be forced. to learn anything about the nature of the humanity they are going to such lengths to learn how to save.} History, philosophy, and literature are just little nuisances along the way which are best avoided.

Perhaps you believe that I take all this much too seriously. However, I don't think so. No matter how rich or blissful a society is, ignorance of its past and its culture can be fatal. The old maxim of George Santayana is trite but true: those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it. Let's just hope that our universities renew a sense of purpose about liberal learning, before we are left to tread down dark paths we thought we had left behind, M{

as the man who invented the printing press in the 15th century. This was one of the great achievements of mankind, one that revolutionized our ability to communicate ideas, and yet almost half of students at arguably two of the most prestigious universities in the world are apparently unaware of who was responsible for it.

• At Stanford and Cornell, 34 and 35 percent of students, respectively, stated that the Enlightenment came before the Renaissance - and this was an either / or question, with a 50 percent chance of success.

• Perhaps most disturbing of all, 64 percent of Harvard students, 65 percentat Princeton, 75 percent at Stanford, and 74 percent at Cornell could not give the exact date of the Japanese at~ tack on Pearl Harbor (December 7th, 1941), a day President Franklin Roosevelt said would "live in infamy."

Perhaps it lives in infamy, but it doesn't

In an age when we are told that information and learning are more accessible than ever, studen($__. are more likely to recognize Little Caesar than Julius Caesar. vey, which tests students from over 42 countries, one-third of American high school seniors could not compute the correct price for a $1,250 stereo that was discounted by twenty percent. (Before you pull out your calculator, it's $1,000.)

Okay, you say, America's secondary public school system stinks. But surely our higher education system is not failing us. Surely the students who attend the Harvards, Prince tons, and Stanfords - the students who are our future leaders- graduate from college with a solid grasp of our history and a broad-based liberal education. Wrong again. Some of the Michigan Review's sister publications at other universities (the Harvard Salient, Princeton Tory, Stanford Review, and Cornell Review) have c:l.one informal cultural literacy surveys of junior and senior undergraduates. Some results: • 65 percent of Princeton upperclassmen could not name Tony Blair as the current prime minister of Great Britain; at Cornell the number was an even more pathetic 78 percent. This is a question which any student at elite colleges such as these should be able to answer, provided they aren't too lazy too pick up a newspaper once or twice a week.

• A full 44 percent of Harvard upperclassmen, and 49 percent at Princeton, could not name Gutenberg

seem to live in the minds of America's brightest undergraduates.

Why is all this troubling instead of merely amusing? For this reason: we are a nation at risk of forgetting who we are as a people; a nation close to becoming amnesiaticimbeciles.ln an age when we are told that information and learning are more accessible than ever, students are more likely to recognize Little Caesar than Julius Caesar.

Who bears the most responsibility for this sorry state of affairs? Most of the blame, I'm afraid, must fall on our institutions of higher learning. Once the intellectual jewels of our democracy, over the past three decades they have become slaves to the Trend Ma-

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8

November 18, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

Cohen continued from page 1 American students on this campus and around the nation.'" Jones did not respond to an email request for an interview.

Because Weisskopf's announcement came after Jones's email campaign began, many assumed that Cohen's political views had something to do with the cancelation, and that Jones's protests were the impetus behind it. However, Weisskopf denies this notion.

"The truth is that the plan was rejected after a small number of individuals protested; that is correct. The implication that it was rejected because of that small number of individuals is erroneous," he said. In his October 20th statement, Weisskopf asserted that the plan was revoked because "standard procedures for raising funds, as well as standard procedures for making a decision to name a University space, were egregiously violated in this case." He went on to say that those procedures are "not simply a matter of bureaucratic propriety; they [reflect] safeguards of the fundament¥ values for which the Universi t? of Michigan stands."

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If anything, however, Weisskopf's

initial statement raised more questions than it answered. In it, he detailed the chronology of plans to name the room after Cohen, which began after the RC received an anonymous donation of $10,000 towards that specific purpose.

He went on to say that with the guidance of the LS&A Development Office, the RC sought and received additional donations toward the naming of the room, and that in the spring of 1998 "we [the RC} were advised that we could proceed to dedicate the 'Carl Cohen Reading Room,' and the date for the dedication ceremony was subsequently set for November 20th." The dedication was publicized, invitations were printed, and the plaque for the room was actually even raised.

So what went wrong? Acording to Weisskopf, in late September he began to receive word from the Office of the Vice President for Student Affairs that there might be problems. They said they had heard rumors that the room was to be named after Cohen, and that they assumed it must be early in the process, as they had heard nothing about it. They asked him to provide . more information. UniversitY HoushLg policies state that any plan to name a

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• Are they still teaching the failed doctrines of Lord Keynes?

If so, help is just an e-mail away!

The Mackinac Center for Public Policy, a free market research institute, offers "Ask the Economist," an interactive Web site feature to help guide students around economic fallacies.

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space in a residence hall must be apCohen Reading Room was not the only proved by students living in the dorm donation matter that had come up for review. in question, and this process eventuA number of senior officers were ally goes through the office of the Vice President for Student Affairs. troubled not only by this particular In response to their inquiry, fundraising case, but by a bunch of others as well ... as many as half a Weisskopf told them he was "stunned and amazed that you're just learning dozen." Becauseofthis,saidWeisskopf, the whole process of handling donaabout this now," and that "not only is tions and naming procedures will be this a rumor, but this plan is essentially completed,andwe'reallsettodedicate coming up for major review by the administration. the room on November 20th."

Last Tuesday, MSA passed a "ResoAt this point, in early October, the LS&A Development Office told lution In Support of Ideological Freedom" in response to the reading room Weisskopf that this was a minor problem. However, later that week (around decision by a 16-9 vote. It called on the October 7th or 8th), they told him that administration to provide more answers about why the plans for the Cohen there were more serious problems than room had been dropped. first believed. Not only were Housing and Student Affairs unaware, but the "I saw the resolution as a way of saying to the administration that we new Vice President for Development, Susan Feagin, had not been informed, [MSA] were unhappy with what was and U-M procedures stipulate that the going on," said Mark Sherer, an RC Vice President for Development must sophomore and MSA representative.

This past Monday, President review fundraising and donations in cases such as this.

Bollinger released his own public statement in the University Record, saying Many have questioned how the that the greatest problem with the readoffice of the Vice President for Development could be unaware of the reading room plan had been "the exclusion of individuals - significantly, student ing room plans when the LS&A Development Office had approved it last __ll!presentatives within the residence spring. Weisskopf could only specu- ". hall- from the decision." He also reiterated that the decision to honor indilate on this, saying that at that time the viduals at the University should not be sitting Vice President for Development affected by politics. was preparing to leave the post, and that the LS&A Development Office "I will not permit this question to be decided on the basis of whether P~ probably decided to wait and present the reading room matter to the incomfessor Cohen's views coincide with my ingperson to that job, Susan Feagin. He own or the University's. Participation went on to say that because Feagin's in public debate must not disqualify agenda was probably full at that point, . one from recognition or honor by the University," he stated. the matter did not reach her until October.

The appropriateness of honOring Another question prompted by Cohen in some fashion has never really Weisskopf's announcement was been in question. Regardless ofhis viewprompted by this sentence: " ... Quespoint on racial preferences, Cohen has given over 30 years of service to the tions have been raised about the circum stances under which funds were University,andwasoneofthefounders raised for this project." The obvious oftheRC. Weisskopfsaid that the RC is actively pursuing another method of questions are: who raised these queshonoring him; possibilities being distions, and what were they? Unfortucussed are a Carl Cohen lecture series nately, the desire of the original donor or classroom in the RC. Whatever the to remain anonymous prevents the administration from clarifying these imeventual outcome, though, it is clear portant points, as- they cite confidentithat the whole episode has been a painality requirements. However, ful and emabrassing one for everyone involved. ~ Weisskopf pointed out that, in fact, the II

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Come to one of our weekly staff meetings -' 7pm, Tuesdays at the League

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A River Runs Through U -M

BY MAn BUCKLEY

fore college. The case that affirmative action has provided "value added" for HEN A NONFICTION these students is cQmpelling. author packs 1800 ChemisBQwen and Bok devQte large sectry for a discussion, the issue tiQns Qf the study to, attacking a set Qf is probably affirmative action. William arguments loosely called "the fit hyBowen, fQrmer president of Princeton pothesis." Under the fit hypQthesis, afUniversity, came to Ann Arbor last firmative action harms groups Qfblacks Thursday to discuss his new boo~ The by placing them into schools withhigher S1uqJeoftheRiver. Theboo~ which comaverage SAT scores. For variQus reapiles a study done by Bowen and former sons, the idea runs, these students do' Harvard President Derek Bo~ is one of WQrse in college and in later life. Bowen the first sources of hard data about and Bok demolish these arguments, showing nQtonly that bl ack students in schools do' better than black stu?fte Sfiape !l(jver C&B dents nationwide, but that the better William G. Bowen and Derek Bok the school attended by black students, Princeton University Press the better they do across the board.

The bOQk is intricate in details, but affirmative action's effects. not difficult to understand; Qne need not be a statistics junkie to, understand The book's title is an overriding metaphor, indicating that the process (dare I say enjQy?) the research. My summary Qf the results hardly does of higher education, and of life in general, must be examined as a whole. justice to the aims of the author; one Following this idea. Bowen and Bok . really should examine the nuances Qf examined students' highschool record, the results. However, the end result for their undergraduate record, and then any reader will be the same: affirmative action helps its recipients, and these used extensive questionnaires to examine these students' later life. The rerecipients go, on to help their commm:tisults, compiled in the College and Beties and enjoy their lives. yond (C&tB) database, show that affirThis is nQt to, say that all the aumative action procedures are helpful to thors' claims make sense. Most do, but those black students that receive the there are excesses. In chapter 8, for benefits affirmative action provides. example, BQwen and Bok examine the Even affirmative action opponents attitudes Qf fQrmer C&Bgraduates, will have to concede that the book's white and black, to, see how much they scope and rigor is impressive. This book thought their schQols focused Qn diverhas huge sample sizes, uses sophistisity, whether that diversity was good, cated methodological techniques, and and whether it should be pursued more includes all the multivariate analyses aggressively by their respective alma and probit model results in appendices maters. The results indicate that these in the back. Statistics and econometrics students think affirmative actiQn projunkies will have a field day. grams were helpful and deserve exThe study's piece-by-piece examipansiQn. Claiming that these are the nation of the effects of affirmative acbest judges of affirmative action, since tion is convincing. Black students at they studied in the relevant student C&tB schools graduate in far higher bodies, the authors argue that these numbers than do black students in colresults are very Significant. The Unilege generally. Their choices of major, versity cQmmunity agrees; BQwen's contrary to populaibelief, do not vary CQmments on the subject were greeted very much from the choices made by by many murmured approvals. whites. These students are also far more The claim is simply fallaciQus, Qf likely than their white counterparts to CQurse. The student bQdies at these seget law degrees, medical degrees, and lective schQols consist of white students doctoral degrees. who' made the cut despite affirmative In the marketplace, black students action policies, and minQrity students, at these schools earn more (though the a large portiQn of whQm would not be authors note that this is not surprising, in these schools if not fQr these policies. given the selective nature of the schools (Bowen and Bok make this point clear involved). Many are satisfied with their by noting the huge drQPs in numbers Qf jobs. Most interestingly, blacks from minQrity students that would emerge these institutions are far more active in under a PQlicy Qf race-neutral admiscommunity activities than their white sions. DQn't can me a racist for nQting counterparts. Looking back on college, it.) It's hard to think Qf a clearer case Qf black students enjoyed the years tnore picking a biased sample. than did white students, and survey If one chose a group Qf white sturesults seem to indicate that college dents rejected from their schQols Qf choice due to, affirmative action (beprovided them with precisely those cause, in the end, this is precisely what sorts of skills they felt they lacked be-

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affirmative action has to do), we'd get a different response. I suspect the U-M crowds would find the results of that survey largely irrelevant. NQte also' that oPPQsition to affirmative action in California and Washington by the group that really counts - the electorate hardly persuades affirmative action prQPonents at all.

But this is a small point. The book has much to offer, and will have to be read by anyone who' to think seriQusly about affirmative action. For conservatives, however, this bOQk is gQing to hurt. The interesting questiQn is why.

The problem is that conservatives have been asking for this bOQkfQr years.

CQnservative objections to, affirmative action are of two types. First, there are reasons of principle. There are reasons we might not want to allow racial classification of students by public institutions. OpiniQns on these various principles differ, but we all know they are Qut there.

HQwever, the second SQrt of objections are empirical ones, and focus by CQnservatives on these arguments has been problematic. The claim is tha! a£-''''' firmative action simply doesn't' help the minQrities that it was designed to help. If true, of CQurse, these arguments are icing Qn the cake, since they would take the goal of affirmative action proponents - helping histOrically disadvantaged minorities - and use that against affirmative action.

Unfortunately, some conservatives have made these arguments the cake, rather than the icing. While tempting, Qne has to wonder what they were thinking. Was it really reasonable to, think that giving racially based preferences to black students wouldn't help them at all? At the very least, shouldn't conservatives have realized that studies on this would be dQne, and that the results were hardly likely to, show widespread disadvantages for recipients of affirmative action?

By emphasizing empirical arguments, conservatives stepped right out on the proverbial limb. Bowen and Bok sharpened their hatchet and cut that limb out from under Dinesh D'Souza, . the Thernstrotns, and Qthers. NQW the switch back to the principled reasons against race-based preferences will be cast (cQrrectly) as a retreat, when it shQuld have been the primary source of Qbjections from the start. The question should never have been whether affirmative action helps minQrities; it shQuld have been whether the help that affirmative actiQn gives justifies the costs that affirmative action has with respect to Qther SQcial goals.

Conservatives better be ready to hear the empirical,r~arch mantrafrom

affirmative action supporters .. HQwever, let me suggest that the University's new-found love for empirical research in the field of affirmative action is a tad one-sided. The Bowen-Bok study aside, there are certainly areas in which ~m­ pirical research will score points for conservatives. I suspect that the administration is far from willing to allow empirical research in these areas.

Take one of the points made by the authors: in certain upper-middle SAT ranges, black applicants to certain schQols in the study have a probability of admissions three times that of whites.

However, they suggest this statistic means little by noting that all kinds of Qther factors enter into the admission process, and that the SAT isn't everything. But we can resolve a ton of these questions, if the University really wanted to put the facts on the table.

How? Simple. Have the University give some researchers the data of all ' applicants to the University, and make those researchers promise to keep the records secret. Using the data. take the information (highschool grades, socioeconomic status, SAT scorest sex, race, etc.) and develop a statistical model like those used by the authors. Given that information, get some facts outnamely, the precise edge given to blacks when they face admissions, taking not just SATs into account, but the whole package. This would also illustrate the edge that the admissions process gives athletes and legacy students, an issue that proponents of affirmative action Qften raise in attacking affirmative action's critics.

Of course, ice crystals will frost the four corners of hell before the University allows this research. It took Freedom of Information requests by RC professor Carl Cohen just to get them to give out some details of their affirmative action criteria. It's fair to say that when the empirical results might help them, university administrators love giving out information. When the probable results will indicate the extent that affirmative action helps blacks to the detriment of otherst the lofty deSire to get all the facts" will probably hit administration-imposed snags.

There are some empirical chestnuts that conservatives can take from all this. (For instance, the SAT turns out to be a Significant predictQr of class rank, claims of racial bias notwithstanding.)

However, on the whQle this book will put CQnservatives on the run. As it shQuld. This is a well-researched book that deserves attention from both sides of the issue. Running away from facts won't make these difficult arguments any easier. lVR U

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10

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

November 18, 1998

o PRO-CON FORUM: MICROSOFT ON TRIAL

Don't Punish Innovation ,.y

BY

BEN ROUSCH

M

ICROSOFT IS ONE OF many leaders in the desktop computing industry, and any anti~trust action taken against Microsoft will only hinder America's economic and technological growth.

Microsoft specializes in software and operating systems for desktop com~ puters, butitdoes not hold a monopoly in those areas. Although some form of a MS~ Windows operating system is present on about 90 percent of desktop computers, there are many low~priced, viable alternatives. These include the Apple Macintosh'operating system, the many forms of Unix or Linux, ffiM's OS /4 BeOS, and many others. Win~ dows is not the only operating system available, and many people choose not to use it.

Another of Microsoft's popular products is Internet Explorer, a web browser which has a little over 50 percent of the web browser market. Internet Explorerjs integrated directly into the Windows operating system and its icon is displayed prominently on the desktop. Until recently the Netscape Navi-

gator, a web browser created by one of Microsoft's competitors and the main instigator in the Department of Justice vs. MS trial, controlled a dominantportion of the web browser market (about 75-90 percent in 1996-1997). Recently, however, Microsoft has improved Internet Explorer to such a point that it regularly beats the Netscape Navigator in independent tests. Netscape does not like this, so it has badgered the Department of Justice into bringing an anti-trust case against Microsoft claiming that Bill Gates's company uses strong-arm tactics" and illegalmethods in its business dealings.

Why does Microsoft have such a large part of the desktop computer software market? Is it because of their underhanded, legally questionable bullying tactics, or because of their commitmentto providing users with whatt;hey want? It may be a little of both. However, as the DOJ vs. MS trial is showing, Microsoft's competitors are just as dirty and cutthroat as Bill Gates. The hightech industry is fast-paced, competitive, and has the potential to make just about anyone rich. This kind of atmosphere is a breeding ground for people If

who are willing to bend the law to be a success.

Microsoft constantly improves and enhances its products according to cus~ .tomer needs. If Microsoft does not provide what the customer wants, some~ one else certainly will. When Microsoft did not provide a web browser, Netscape stepped in to fill the void.

Businesses demanded better word processing and spreadsheet programs, so Corel and Lotus created their office suites. However, Microsoft has always come back with a better product than its competitors.

So why is the DOJ singling out Microsoft? Maybe because Microsoft is arguably the most successful and highprofile company in the industry. When most people turn on their computer, they see the Flying Windows logo and an Internet Explorer icon as'big as life.

When they turn on their TV, they see a blitz of ads for Microsoft's new operating system, web browser, and office suite. There are other high-tech companies out there who earn more money than Microsoft, but they tend to keep a lower profile by providing hardware and software mainly for big busin.esa.-,~

Microsoft's presence is more pervasive and obvious.

The DOJ is trying to punish Microsoft for its success. If the Department of Justice gets its way, Microsoft may be punished by being broken into little pieces, heavily fined, or forced to include competitor's products with their own even though Microsoft has done nothing more than become a suc~ cessful company with a large number of loyal and satisfied users. For the good of America and consumers everywhere, the Department of Justice must not succeed.

If Microsoft is punished, it will discourage computerprogrammersevery~ where, and will' greatly decrease Microsoft's productivity. If Microsoft starts going downhill, then everything that depends on their products will be adversely affected. This includes most Fortune 500 companies, educational institutions, and home computer users.

Soon foreign companies will see a crack in America's dominance of the hightech industry and will take over like they have many other industries, such as electronics or clothing. :rvR

Punish Monopolization

BY MATIHEW S. SCHWARTZ

-ILL uI~USE~$100~BILLS-AS足 toilet-paper" Gates, head of Microsoft, (and currently holding the much sought after title of Richest Man in the World,) doesn't look like a business man at alt On the contrary, his big glasses and mousy scruffIed hair peg him as a computer-nerd. He no doubt used his diminutiveness as an asset when he was first making big business deals, tricking the competition into believing that there was nothing to fear - this guy wouldn't know anything about business.

That's where they were wrong, The Justice Department and 20 states have recently filed the biggest antitrust lawsuit since that of Standard Oil. Like Standard Oil, the government contends that Microsoft is in violation of the Sherman Antitrust Act. The act, passed over a century ago in 1890, was developed in order to protect consumers from money-hungry businesses eager do anything in their power -legal or otherwise - to maintain market dominance.

The government claims that Microsoft has violated the Sherman Act in three ways: tying, predatory conduct, and exclusionary agreements.

The tying charge is the least damn-

B

ing of the three. The government (largely persuaded by Netscape) is claiming that by including its web browser, Internet Explorer, with the Windows OS, Microsoft is "tying" two separate products and is in violation of the law. However, Microsoft chums that the web browser and the OS are not separate products; they are integrated products. The courts have sided with Microsoft on this issue, if for no other reason than they are hesitant to impede technological innovation.

However, tying is still a very big issue. Even though they are not charging customers for the web browser, Microsoft is gaining valuable market dominance by selling an OS with the web browser built in. With a functional browser already installed, why would customers have any reason to go out and purchase Netscape Navigator, a competing web browser?

Which leads to the next point: predatory conduct, As a monopoly (Microsoft controls 90% of the PCs on the market), it is illegal to use dominance in one area to gain dominance in another area. However, this is just what Microsoft is doing, and has been doing for years, One example: years ago, Microsoft developed a partnership with IBM. They backed IBM's OS, OS /2, saying

that Windows would be phased out, and urged software companies to be~ gin writing applications for OS /2. However, Microsoft never meant what it said. While other programmers were writing for OS /2, Microsoft's programmers were in fact writing their own applications (word processors, spreadsheets, etc.) for Windows. Then, Microsoft pulled out of its partnership with IBM, instead pushing its own OS. And while most other programmers had been spending time working on applicationsforOS/2, which they were led to believe would become the new standard, Microsoft had gotten a huge head start writing applications for its own OS. Thus, Microsoft was able to use its OS dominance to gain dominance in the applications market.

More recently, when Microsoft was trying to break into the web browser market, it supposedly tried to illegally divide the market with Netscape. In a meeting, it suggested that Netscape let Microsoft have the PC market, while Netscape could have the rest. After Netscape refused, Microsoft planned to use their OS dominance to crush Netscape. Microsoft's group vice president was quoted in the New York Times as telling industry executives, "We are going to cut off their air supply, Everything they're selling, we're going to

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give away for free."

Microsoft also used its dominance to force other companies to carry their products instead of competitors. In one such exclusionary agreement, Microsoft supposedly forced Apple to use Microsoft's web browser instead of Netscape's browser, by threatening to stop producing software for Apple if they didn't. In another agreement, Microsoft talked various Internet Service Providers, including America Online, into using Microsoft's browser instead of Netscape' s in exchange for a promise that Microsoft would include a link to America Online in its OS. Software makers have always regarded Microsoft as a bully. They dread the day that Microsoft decides to enter their market, for fear that Microsoft will use its massive power to destroy them. Becoming a powerful international company on the merits is one thing; illegally maintaining one' s ~omi足 nance is something else altogether. The court should rule in favor of the government, and Microsoft should be punished for its illegal acts. :rvR

Review Note: Please, Mr. Gates don't hurt us. Matt is young and foolish. He'll learn. Take him. Spare us.

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November 18, 1998

11

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o POLITIes

Death ~of a Revolution'

BY JACOB OSUCK

W

HEN REPUBLICANS took the majority in '94, they brimmed with excitement about their present and hope for their future. They spoke of a national realignment with conservativism and proudly brandished their Contract With America. Sadly, though, their plans to reduce the size of government failed to start a revolution. In time, they grew complacent.

After the Great Budget Fiasco of 1995, Republicans crawled back into the ideological shell they wore as a 40year minority. Too timid to attack the expanse of government, they only cringed when President Clinton used the words "healthcare" or "education" to defend yet another new program. In short, bold ideas took a backseat to reelection concerns. In consequence, their old conservative base grew disillusioned and preferred staying home on Election Day to re-electing the pseudoDemocrats. Combined with the Monica Lewinsky mess, this complacency yielded this years November disaster and the fall of one Newt Gingrich. As

the Wall Street Journal reported last week, wealthy Americans failed to tum out in droves to back the GOP. Long a key constituency for Republicans, 62% of Americans making over $75,000 a year sided with 1994's Gingrich Revolutionaries. However, this year only 53% voted Republican, a fact owing in part to the failure of the 1998 GOP to discuss measures aimed at taking more then a speck from Federal kitty. True, wealthy Americans are a small constituency, buttheir lack of support was likely the deciding factor in many close races lost by the GOP (as in Pennsylvania's 13th Congressional District, in the affluent suburbs of Philadelphia, which barely threw out incumbentJon Fox). Exit polls show that although turnout (38%) was roughly the same as four-years ago, this time it was Democrats who turned out in much greater numbers. Elsewhere, the GOP's single-minded focus on the president's domestic affairs probably cost them votes. As GOP Gov. Tom Ridge of Pennsylvania stated after the election, "If you make it a referendum on a president with a 67 percent approval rating, as they [Congressional

Republicans] tried to do, you shouldn't be surprised if the election goes against you."

Lastly, Gingrich remained a haunting factor for the GOP, as Democratic ads throughout the country routinely linked Republican candidates with the unpopular Speaker. In fairness, Gingrich brought much of the criticism upon himself, appearing jaded when he bragged about shutting down the government because Clinton made him sit at the back of Air Force One, or meatheaded in claiming that men are biologically engineered to "go out and hunt giraffes." But however much the media demonized him as a crackpot, it was likely Gingrich's abject honesty to the American public that contributed most to his downfall. Fortunately, his presence shall not burden the Republicans in future elections, but they will miss his dynamic leadership.

So what does November teach us?

First, Republicans should return to their core issues of cutting taxes, reducing government and restoring personal responsibility. When Democrats attack them for cutting taxes (it allegedly endangers the surplus"), Republi.cans'""

need counter by pointing out that 1) at over 40% of GOP, taxes now consume a higher share of the American economy then at any peacetime period inhistory, and 2) Democrats also "endanger the surplus" with reckless spending plans (see Clinton's threat to shut down the government if the GOP didn't approve more money for schools). When Democrats talk of "education" and "healthcare," Republicans should blast them as pawns of the NEA and supporters of "reform" so burdened with regulations that it prices many Americans out of the insurance market. Lastly, Republicans should end the Clinton investigation as soon as possible. Despite legitimate impeachable offenses, further inquiry would use political capital Republicans need to pass measures reducing the size of government. If Republicans do not reassert themselves as the party that defends freedom and promotes capitaUsm, then 2000 looks grim. Without accomplishing these things, Republican hopes o£takingback .the White House and dominating Con~ gress will fall faster then President .

Clinton's pants in front of Arkansas court reporters.Mt

pean cars) into Iraq. The oil-smuggling activities are the most profitable, and, Janabiestimates,earnsUdayeamshundreds of millions of dollars annually.

Iraq's is a story of a country governed by gangsters. Uday's illegal business ventures show how easy it has been for Saddam's regime to undermine the U.N. economic sanctions, an endeavor whose sole purpose is one of fattening the elitists' wallets. Saddam, Uday, and their cohorts only show concern for the starving children to the extent that it portrays Iraq as the nation bullied by the "Great Satan." Uday's smuggling networks have flooded Iraq's elite with American dollars and luxury goods, while completely ignoring the severe shortages of medicine and hospital supplies. One assumes that smuggling medicine or grain into Iraq wouldnotposeagreaterchallengethan smuggling, say, cars or gold watches.

Why, then, has Saddam never taken the initiative to help his subjects, even if it means disregarding a U.N. embargo?

The answer is that just as Sad dam thrived on a generation of Iraqi blood spilled during the Iran-Iraq war and again during the Gulf War, he now thrives on the starving and diseased helpless. In his twisted mind,heisfighting a war against the United States and the West where the children are ammo.

Easing the sanctions won'J make much of a difference for the average Iraqi; as history shows, Saddam needs total control in his Republic of Fear.

Certainly, he won't let the United Nations provide his people with food and medicine, lest it wins their hearts and minds and weaken his control of their suffering. Such was the case when the United Arab Emirates recently granted humanitarian aid to Iraq: upon their arrival, Uday Hussein usurped control of the shipments and stored them in his warehouses. According to Abbas alJanabi, Uday would "only distribute a small portion of it, always in front of the press." Uday would later sell the rest for large profit.

The severe human toll which the sanctions have taken on the Iraqi masses is regrettable, but the blame for this suffering must only be put on Saddam.

A Nasser-wanna-be who also claims to be the modern-day version of Nebuchadnezzar (Babylonian leader who destroyed Jerusalem in 587 B.C.), Saddam has imposed his obsession with war on the Iraqi people for nearly two decades. The time has come to stop this cowardly thug. Anything short of an overwhelming American military action against his regime would be too little, too late.l\R

II

o FOREIGN AFFAIRS Saddam: 20 Years of Oppression

BY DROR BARON

R

OUGHLY TWO WEEKS AGO, bright orange posters on campus condemned the UN-imposed economic sanctions against Iraq as U.S.-sponsored genocide. Genocide.

Hitler committed genocide against the Jews, and the Ottomans did the same to the Armenians, but in both instances the aggressors had total control of their victims-political, military, and otherwise. Is the United States perhaps carrying outthe first of what may be called "long--distance" g~nocide? I believe it is not; indeed it cannot, for only one man has enough power and satanic qualities to cause so much pain and suffering: his name is Saddam Hussein.

While thousands of Iraqi children are dying across Iraq, Saddam's elite forces- his Special Republican Guards - are well-armed and fed; their special treatment is a necessary condition to keep Saddam in charge. His regime has outlawed all political opposition, and regularly executes potential threats.

Saddam's iron grip over his people knows no limits. He has even engaged in a brutal campaign of eco-terrorism against the Ma'dan (the "Marsh Arabs," an Iraqi minority which has traditionally enjoyed relative autonomy) in southern Iraq. The Iraqi National Con-

gress, a dissident group, notes that dumping "toxic chemicals and poisons into the marshes to kill the fish which are the main part of their diet, and dropping napalm to bum large areas of vegetation" are among Sad dam' s tactics.

Convincing evidence that Saddam's regime truly thrives on the suffering of the masses was provided when Abbas al-Janabi, a close aid to Saddam's son Uday Hussein for 15 years, defected last year. In an interview to the al Hayat newspaper, Janabi describes Uday as a brutal, violent monster who imprisons and tortures people on mere impulse. To Uday, Janabi explains, "Iraq is a milking cow.

He lives in it in a very privileged way and takes anything he wants from it at any time. Like his father, he thinks Iraqis are not more than slaves.

While UNICEF paints a poor, starving, and diseased picture of Iraq beneath sanctions, Janabi is qUick to point out that this hellish description does not apply to the ruling elite. The sanctions, Janabi asserts, have greatly benefited Uday and it is in his interest for the embargo to continue. Janabi explainS that Uday controls an extensive network that smuggles oil out of Iraq and smuggles whisky, tobacco,· and other luxury goods (such as fast EuroII

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THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

12

November 18,1998

DETIQUETIE

Mind Your Manners

BY JULIE JESCHKE

T

HE FUNNY TIiING ABOUT the phrase, "excuse me" is that when people say it, they usually mean, "excuse you." Whether I see someone come flying around a corner like a bat out of hell, or fling a stairwell door open and knock me over, as each day goes by I become more and more convinced that people at U.,M have no manners. They are inconsiderate. They have their own little egocentric world, and are completely unaware of anyone around them. They bump into you and cut you off without the bat of an eye. To these rude people, I offer tips to being more polite. Show others that you really weren't hom in a bam. Amaze your friends, too.

The most important principle is: two things cannot occupy the san;te space at one time. I know - it's deep.

Wait until everyone else gets offthe bus before you attempt to board. Surprisingly, this will actually improve your chances of getting a seat. Rollerbladers and people on bikes: just because you are moving faster than the pedestrians does not give you the license to plow us

o SATIRE

As students, we spend a lot of time in lectures. For this reason, lecture rooms are breeding grounds for rude behavior. Do not leave lectures early or arrive late. Being tardy is embarrassing for a reason - youshouldn't do it.

Do not pack up your bags early in lecture. The rustling annoys both the professor and the students around you.

And the sound of one backpack's velcro or zipper inevitably sparks a Hallelujah Chorus of others.

Just because you are sitting in the back row of a lecture room does not give you the liberty to be loud and obnoxious. The whole room can still hear you - shut up.

Please do not hit me in the head with your bookbag when you pass me in the narrow aisle. It hurts. Please do not stand directly in front of me in that same narrow aisle with your butt in my face, having a conversation with someone in the row ahead of me.

Miscellaneous etiquette: It is really in poor taste to cover up the flyer advertising a charity event with your advert for the latest concert or credit card.

DO,not shove flyers in my face as I walk through the Diag. It is generally, 'cort:""'''''

sidered polite to not let doors slam in people's faces. Stop sending me e-mail thatsaysI'1l have bad luck for the rest of my life if I don't forward a message to 100 of my closest friends, or those that say Bill Gates is testing his new e-mail tracking system, or some little girl needs a new spleen, and someone will donate one cent for every e-mail. They're all baloney. Unless! am completely logged off and not sitting in my chair, no, I am not done with my computer, so don't ask. If there is a long line behind you at the ATM, please be courteous and get the heck out of there. You can find out how much interest you've earned on your second savings account later. Stop stepping on the heels of my Birkenstocks. To all crows: it is not nice to roost by the thousands in trees and poop on people as they walk below you. It is generally considered impolite to steal entire stacks of newspapers and throw them away, even if you disagree with the publication's ideas.

And last, but not least, I quote whomever was brilliantenough to come up with, ''If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie."

Thank you.路Mt

Wrestling for the Presidency

BY DAVID GUIPE

KAY, SO I WAS SITTING IN front. of my TV the night of November 3rd, watching the election results, when some official news person made an announcement that went something like this: Official News Person: "And our network is now projecting a winner in the Minnesota Governor's Race. Jesse "The Body" Ventura has defeated his opponents, and is on his way to becoming Minnesota's Ilext governor."

Now, November the 3rd is a day that held a lot of surprises forme, among them being the GOP's losses in the House, the stalemate in the Senate, and the fact that I was all out of Lipton ''Brisk'' iced tea so early in the. week.

But to be perfectly honest, Ventura's victory wasn't one of them. I mean, what's so surprising about a pro-wrestler winning a top political office? After all, politics and pro-wrestling have a lot in common. For example, both have "good guys" (e.g., Goldberg and Ronald Reagan) and "bad guys" (e.g., Hollywood Hulk Hogan and Diane Feinstein).

So now that ''The Body" has successfully bridged the gap between politics and pro-wrestling, there's no telling what will happen. We could see an

O

over or force us off the sidewalk. Relax.

You will get to class on time, because you have wheels. Joggers, the same goes for you.

Do not sneak around corners and be shocked when you bump into someone. It is inevitable.

The door on the right is for people entering, and the door on the left is for those exiting. Hint: always use the door on the right, and you will be safe (the concept may seem baffling at first, but it really is foolproof). In the same way, if you are walking on the right side of the stairwell or hallway, you will not run into others (that's because, when you change directions, your right becomes someone else's路 left. Eureka!). If you treat hallways like they are roads, pretending you are a car, everyone will be happy. No excuses for Brits or Aussies - you're in America now.

Do not travel in convoys and block the entire hallway or stairwell. Do not force others to step off the sidewalk because you refuse to move outside the boundaries of your social group. If you see that your course is set to collide with oncoming traffic, the simplest and most polite option is for you to move.

Please!

invasion of pro-wrestlers into public office. And the scariest part is, they would probably win. I mean, who better to get the vote of 18-30 year old males than a candidate whose action figure they once owned? This could be the beginning of a new era in American politics. Why, it wasn't too long ago that pro wrestling superstar Hulk Hogan announced his candidancy for President on WCW. Personally, I didn't witness the event, but I'll bet it went something like this: Mean Gene Okerland: "Well,here we are on another exciting edition of WCW.I'mGeneOkerlandandwithme is this man, Hulk Hogan."

Hulk Hogan: "Let me tell you somethin,' Mean Gene. I've got an announcement to make tonight that will send shock waves throughout WCW." Mean Gene Okerland: "A shocking announcement? Don't tell me that you're planning on challenging Goldberg for the World Championship at our next overrated, overpriced PayPer-Viewevent.'!

Hulk Hogan: "This isn't about Goldberg, Mean Gene. I am here to announce my challenge to you, AI Gore, for the Presidency of the United States of America."

Mean Gene Okerland: "Wait a minute! This isn't in the script!"

HulkHogan: ''The Hulkster doesn't need a script tonight. I'm taking Hulkamania to Washington. And here's the man that's gonna help me get there.

My newest NWO brother, Newt Gingrich!" ("NWO" theme music begins as Newt Gingrich comes out onto the podium) Mean Gene Okerland: "What are you doing? We're all gonna get fired for this and then we'll have to (gulp) get real jobs!"

Newt: "Shut up, baldy. My man, Hulk Hogan, here, is going to be the Republican candidate for President and he's gonna win. Tell 'em, Hulk!"

Hulk Hogan: "AI Gore, whatchya gonna do when Hulkamania and the largest arms in the world run wild all over you!? (flexes)" Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but you get the idea. It wouldn't surprise me at all if politicians start trying to reach the voters when they're still kids. One way to do this would be to make political action figures. Remember those corny action figUre commercials you used to see when you were a kid? Well, imagine how corny commercials for political action figures would be.

Kid #1: "Ha! My Bill Clinton action figure rules the U.S.A.!"

Kid #2: "Oh yeah? He's no match for my Ken Starr action figure, complete with Articles of Impeachment."

Kid #1: "Ob, cheap shot. Clinton's down for the count!"

Kid #2: "Yeah!"

Announcer Person: "New Political Action Figures! So close to the real deal, it's like being on Capitol Hill! Articles of Impeachment sold seperately."

Campaign commercials could change, too. They'll probably end up being a lot like those monster truck commercials.

Gruff Announcer: "Tuesday! Tuesday! Tuesday! See the real political action as AI Gore goes head to head with George W. Bush for the Presidency of the United States, no holds barred!"

AI Gore: (in an expressionless voice) "I'm gonna pulverize you, Bush!"

Gruff Announcer: "And you can see it all on Pay-Per-View. You have to pay for the whole seat but all you'll need is the edge!"

Yes, politics is going to change a lot because of Ventura's victory. Jesse is so confident that his administration will be successful that he wants to be called Jesse "The Mind" from now on. Does this mean that liThe Body" is now officially an open nickname? Hmm, who should be the next person endowed with this title? My pick: Janet Reno. :Mt

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

November 18, 1998

o Hoops Du JOUR

Hoopsters

BY ANDREW GOLDING

PTIMISTIC? HOW CAN ONE not be? The Michigan men's basketball team is ranked 136th

by The Sporting News, and 10th of 11 Big Ten (sic) teams by Sports Illustrated. For Head Coach Brian Ellerbe, one year away from a strong recruiting class, the critics are for naught. After all, with expectations so low, the "underachiever" stigma has been lifted; prepare the "overachiever" label.

This year's team lacks scoring punch, depth - they are only seven deep, period - and experienced post play, due to the loss of Robert Traylor (U-M bench support/NBA), Jerod Ward (U-M crowd support/WOLV broadcaster / CCRB scrimmager), Travis Conlan (tanning salon), and Maceo Baston (Cockroach Basketball League), plus Mike Weideman, last year's chief clapper. However, they possess a solid pair of guards in Louis Bullock and Robl;>ie Reid, a versatile forward, Brandon Smith, an X-factor in Leon Jones, and three tall timbers named Chris Young, Josh Asselin, and Peter Vignier.

Through three games the Wolverines have looked promising, which reaUy means they have been neither terriblyimpressivenordiscouraging. Versus the Melbourne (Australia) Giants in the opening, albeit exhibition game, Bullock scored 27, hit 8 of 10 treys, and sealed the outcome with nine minutes left to play in the first half. More impressive, though, was the activity of junior center Peter Vignier, fonnerly known solely for his video game propensity at Pinball Pete's. Vignier collected 16 rebounds, mostly from lingering around in the post area. Upon entering the press room afterwards with an ice bag on his wrist, he was jokingly asked if his "arms were sore from grabbing all those rebounds."

After averaging .3 points and .7 rebounds - "I may have been thinking way too much the last two years," he says now - Vignier can establish himself and post solid numbers this season.

But will he do it in the Big Ten as he did against Melbourne, a team with tape on their uniforms? Probably not.

Vignier has a rimited offensive game, and is shooting 30% through three games, which is horrible for a big man who plays so close to the hoop. He is uncomfortable shooting the ball, and treats it as a hot potato; he cannot wait to get rid of the ball, and seemingly cannot do so fast enough. He, and Ellerbe, attributed his poor shooting to rushing, when asked. Ellerbe also said, "Everything's a firstfor Pete. We've got to be very very careful about how we

O

13

Off to Uneven Start

bring him along."

At 6'11", Vignier can rebound, which is his greatest attribute. He is always dose to the hoop, and keeps the ball alive well. In all likelihood, though, his playing time will be hindered by the development of Chris Young, a 6'9" freshman forward who resembles a young Chris Dudley.

Young has a mature, gangly body, and goes" all out. He's physical, he's tough," says Ellerbe. Like Dudley, and Vignier, he is not a scorer, but crashes the boards well and is always active.

One who can shoot well is Bullock, the solid senior guard. The Crisler crowd seems genuinely surprised when he misses, and after going 5 for 8 onfree throws against Athletes in Action (AIA) on November 9th, he apologized for his wayward shooting.

Bullock is a certain NBA draft pick, and the pairing of he with Traylor (the 6th draft pick) this season would have been a great inside/ outside pairing to

Smith has a long, galloping stride, and rarely appears to go full throttle when pushing the ball up the courthe is smooth. This was most apparent in the AlA game when Smith crept towards the basket on a fast break. In-, stead of attacking the rim with ferocity and a vengeance, he approached coolly, as if he did not want to hurt it. In later years, instead of flipping and laying up shots peacefully, Smith will learn to attack the rim and forcefully dunk.

"The Dunk." That's what the Free Press called Josh Asselin's monster jam in the AIA game. Asselin got a step on his man at the free throw line, took one dribble, and raised up and over Dan Kreft (Northwestern,'95), known more for his web page. Ellerbe called it a "fundamental move," one every Division I player should make. Asselin's teammates were more impressed, though Smith said he is still "the best dunker. We'll give him an 8.5."

Asselin has gained 15-20 pounds of pure muscle, and seems to have inherited Traylor's position as the emotional and physical leader of the squad. He makes great facial expressions when #,.-'" calling for the ball in the post, but un路 like Traylor, is motionless upon actually receiving the ball. Asselin has not shown any post moves to date, but is especially skilled at finishing off penin double figures in the November 13th etration, converting missed shots, and road loss to Florida International. Reid and Bullock were heralded by the Michigoing strong to the hoop~ His problem, though, like Smith's, gan Daily as "one of the top backcourts in the nation," which is not so much is a lack of brazenness on the offensive indicative of U-M's talent, but of the end. Asselin attempted only two shots in the Florida International game in. a lack of strong guard play in college 26 minutes; Bullock put foul-plagued basketball. Michigan State, Indiana, and up 26 shots himself. For whatever reaOhio State all have good guard play, son, the U-M post players are espearguably better than U-M's. What excially reluctant to shoot the ball. It is as actly does "one of' mean?

Reid holds the Utah high school if they merely exist to throw the ball out to the guards, where Bullock and Reid record for field goal attempts in a game can hoist perimeter jumpers. Versus (34), he says, and is trying to "savor" the season. "This is it for me," he states, Florida International, Bullock and Reid combined for 70% (40-57) of the field mastering the obvious. Reid may like to goal attempts, as no one else attempted shoot, but is not a pure scorer; on this more than four shots, and thus no one year's team though, he is forced to be. else scored more than five pOints.

What the Wolv_erines realLy need is Ellerbe said the 690.62 Florida Interwhat Brandon Smith can provide, if he national loss was due to trying to "live wants to. Smith is 6'7", agile, and able by the three-ball (26 treys hoisted, of 57 to play multiple positions. His problem total shots), which we didn' tneed to do is himself - he is a sophomore and tonight. It was a 'you live by the jump appears not to realize that this UM team needs him to play like a senior. shot, you die by it' type of game."

That said, when U-M has no legitiSmith can handle the ball, run the mate post game, what else are they left break, and shoot the jumper, if he is to do? Until Asselin, or Smith, or open. But he is generally reluctant to do Vignier, or even Young, step up on the all three. He prefers to defer to Bullock offensive end, U-M will continue to and Reid, waiting for the senior guards have difficulty scoring. Three-pOint to create something. "I can live off Lou bombs from Bullock and Reid are fun and Robbie this year," he told the Daily. to watch, but are defeats? Without a Smith can create, and inevitably cause third scorer, that wiIllikely be the outmatch-up problems for the opposition. come of many Michigan games this When he will do so, and understand his season. l\R own talent, is the.question.

Sitting courtside at the AlA game, Detroit Pistons Coach Alvin Gentry and his assistants had to be thinking about getting Bullock into unifonn. After all, he would be a perfect complement to Grant Hill. But for one more season, at his choosing, Bullock is at U-M where he will likely be frustrated by box-andone and other defenses specifically designed to stop him.

A foreshadowing of that frustration occurred in the AlA contest, when Bullock squared off against J.-andon Hackim (Miami of Ohio, '96). After Bullock missed a three-pointer late in the first half, he fouled Hackim, hard, after being beaten down the floor.

Ellerbe pulled him, and Bullock appeared noticeably frustrated on the bench. He had scored 18 of the team's 34 points in the first half, but had received little help from his teammates.

One player who has stepped up, relatively, is senior guard Robbie Reid, the only player besides Bullock to score

Vignier treats the basketball as a hot potato; he can't wait to get rid of it, and seemingly cannot do so fast enough. behold. Instead, Traylor is locked out, and sitting on the U-M bench with a large, gold, Mr. T-esque chain around his neck. It is Bullock putting on the show, scoring 27, 28, and 30 points to open his final college campaign.

"Loouis," as a sign behind the bench reads, is the type of player you want shooting the ball with your life on the line. A three-pointer from 19'9" looks like a free throw for him, and a free throw is the equivalent of a lay-up. He is that good.

Flashiness is not Bullock's style, and he rarely goes behind-the-back, between the legs, or anything similarly fancy. Bullock beats his defenders laterally, usually, and is adept at reading defenses. He does not go past his defender with his qUickness, which is average, but with his move. He prefers to go left, it seems, and loves to shoot his jumper, which he steps into and releases perfectly. In a memorable moment from a pre-season pickup game, Bullock had Traylor isolated on a fast break. Instead of taking Traylor to the hoop with his quickness, Bullock angled left, dribbling towards the three-point line with Traylor following. Bullock made sure he was behind the line, set his feet, a~d arched his shot over Traylor's outstretched ann. Of course, it hit nothing but net, and Bullock and Traylor both chuckled as they made their way up the court.

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14

November 18, 1998

THE MICHIGAN REVIEW

o SPORTS

"Andro" is Bad News All Around • .iJ'"

BY ROBERT

E. WOOD

A

LOT OF PRESS INK LATELY has gone into the discussion of the recently rediscovered hormone androstenedione (more commonly referred to as "andro"). It seems to be the "safe" replacement to anabolic steroids that anyone can get to build up those biceps and increase lean muscle mass. Everyone knows that Mark McGwire hit 70 home runs this season, and used andro the whole way through. It is what all the 'roid raging jocks are switching to for their "competitive edge." ESPN even did a fivepart series about the hormone on its web si te and a television special last week on its use in high schools.

However, to treat this drug as a new miracle monster-builder and a harmless alternative to hard-core steroids is a mistake. Androstenedione is a direct hormone precursor of testosterone, of which anabolic steroids is comprised. It is ingested orally in most of today's mass-produced, over-thecounter variations, and then is usually converted, with the aid of a luteinizing hormone, to straight-up testosterone in the bloodstream. Without the luteinizing hormone (which some andro distributors "forget" due to its cost of production), the andro ingested is just as likely to be converted into a form of estrogen, estrone. The side-effects of andro, while advertised as "harmless" and "slight," only differ in magnitude.

Hair loss and severe acne are only the best cases. This treatment, like standard steroids, can also cause testicular reduction. I.f it can be caused by steroids, it can be caused by anCIro, espe:cially in higher-than-recommended dosages. These extreme dosages may or may not be what adults dive into, bu t the high school teen trying to secure a starting position on the football team will not exactly be patient enough to stick to recommended dosages. Indeed, most of the weight-lifting crowd on the campus of the 'U' hardly has time to settle into a standard work-out routine, what with midterms, papers, allnighters, finals, and graduation (in one lucky reporter's case) bearing down on them. If would-be student body builders wanted to make up for time lost to these college eventualities by swallowing a few more capsules here or there, what's to stop them?

In addition to buying andro at your favorite chain store, it can also be ordered through the mail, over the web, or even over the phone. You may have even seen a few flyers around campus, whQse advertising says in nauseating neon green, "for the gre.ate~t nutritional support for incredible gains in muscle ".

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The weight-lifting and fitness communities, who probably do more anabolics and hormone treatments than the entire American herd of beef cattle, sing a different tune, however. Steve Blechman, Editor-in-Chief of All Natural Muscular Development magazine, in its January 1999 issue stated: "Androstenedione is a lousy steroid ... and it is our opinion that no one should take it for muscle building or performance enhancement," The esteemed editor goes on to say that there are many, better performance-enhancers, which last longer and are safer to use. While most physicians and sports-medicine experts still favor regular exercise and a healthy, low-fat diet, those who feel the need to "juice" can and will acquire their drug, protein supplement, or hormone of choice to give them an extra fifty pounds on their bench press.

Androstenedione was Originally synthesized in 1935, according to" Anabolic Steroids in Sport and Exercise," written in 1993, and edited by C.E. Yesalis. If it had significant anabolic properties, it would have been much more researched in the 63 years it has been available. It is merely one of many incarnations of the steroid that have shown no general, consistent increase in health or fitness. Advertisers' claims of 300% increases in testosterone levels and bench-press maximums increasing by fifty pounds or more in two weeks are ridiculous. Rare studies rare because the U.S. Congress passed legislation removing the oversight of such nutritional supplements by the FDA - have found that doses of 100mg raised testosterone levels by 237%, at the most. Even then, the effectiveness of the treatment, at its peak level, lasted only about fifteen minutes to half an hour.

In the weight room itself, especially here on campus, a person on a "roid rage" is easily distinguishable. He or she is the guy ("guy" for both cases, since increased -testosterone treatmen ts tend give women masculine features, such as facial hair and a deeper voice) who is looking a bit too aroused to just be lifting weights. This rage is common both to those who do flat-out steroids and those who ingest andro. Being an eyewitness to these rampages is not exactly a pleasant experience. It is enough to keep one out of the weight room, gladly, through midterms and finals. Being Mark McGwire's spotter must be an interesting experience. By the way, it absolutely cannot be contested that Mr. McGwire has achieved all he has because of hard work, charac-

ter, and his baseball skills in general.

His drive and dedication to excellence must be respected, not just his power.

Major League Baseball does not, as yet, ban the use of andro by its players.

The NFL, International Olympic Committee, and NCAA do ban the substance, however. While there may be those in these leagues who still juice up, there are other, more legal and chemically effective hormone treatments with which to wet one's exercise whistle.

All in all, androstenedione, as a performance-enhancing hormone treatment, is neither effective nor particularly safe. There are those who try to employ the old axiom "Everything in

current form, and hopes that the Code review result in changes that make the Code less intrusive. Like the NFP, Trapani feels that MSA should not have Continued from page 5 any political stances on issues, but instead should be educational only, spontain a student regent ("notjustelecsoring events such as talks and debates. tion hi-jinx"). He also wants to try to Other Independent candidates eliminate useless legislation, and he have much more specific goals. In the cited last year's proposed MSA resolucase of Ariel Barnett, Independent cantion to stop performing circumcisions didate for School of Music representaat the U-M Hospital as an example. _....,.. . . tive, she feels that relations between the School of Music and the rest of the Josh Trapani, Independent candiUniversity could be much stronger than date for Rackham, is running as an they are. "I find that our school is often independent because he doesn't think removed from major campus events, the party system makes much sense. "I partially due to our North Campus loeither disagree with the party ideolocation. My concerns include North gies or don' t understand just what they Campus planning and bus service in are (or whether they exist)." addition to the inclusion of the School Trapani has been a Rackham repreof Music in high-profile University sentative to MSA for the past two years. planning issues," Barnett said. "If He doesn't have a platform per se, he elected, I will assertively seek an imsaid, besides trying to represent graduproved North Campus; I advocate more ate students. He feels that "academic frequent bus service on weekends, more and financial issues ought to be placed food options in Pierpont Commons, as a priority above most social activist and better lighting on the pedestrian issues for MSA, because these are probpaths that cross our campus." ~ lems most students have to deal with on a daily basis."

Trapani is against the Code in its

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Interested in getting the Review delivered directly to your e-mail inbox?

Visit our web site at http://www.umich. edu/'"""'mrev and, sign up for a free e-mail subscription!

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moderation ... ," to justify their use of andro (or alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, etc.), implying that if they just take the recommended dosage, they will be fine.

Unfortunately, without FDA oversight and approval, determining a recommended or safe dosage is tenuous at best. Those who do the research and those in the professional weightlifting community agree that there are much better alternatives to the use of this hormone. Regardless of all this, any muscle mass gained by the use of this hormone must still be earned in the weight room. There will never be any substitute for putting in the hours and living an otherwise healthy life. ~

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The Best Alternatives

By CHRIS HAYES ITH A FEW EXCEPTIONS, I am having a very hard time finding anything worthwhile to listen to when I turn on the radio. "Alternative Radio," or whatever it calls itself, does not make sense to me. To what is it an alternative? It sounds like an alternative to talented bands that push boundaries and write music that was not already perfected

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Witliout 9'Ou 1'm iJlotliing Placebo Virgin Records ten to twenty years ago by people such as Tom Petty, the Cure, Depeche Mode, and U2. There is nothing new or cutting-edge about ninety-percent of the tunes on the radio, so I feel sorry for the artists who actually have paved the roads for musicians today. Their "influential records" didn' tmake jack compared to the cash the Matchbox 20 or Dave Matthews albums make. For the record, I am not one of those "indie" listeners who like whatever isn't popular just to be different. I simply have good taste. Therefore, I don't like what is on the radio.

However, there is always a dim light peeking through the disgustingly heavy rotation of Bed< and Alanis singles. Currently, it"is Placebo's "Pure Morning."

The wicked opening vocals" A friend in need is a friend indeed / A friend with weed is better / A friend with breasts and all the rest/ A friend who's dressed in leather" are layered over an equally evil music track. The heavily industrial drums and percussion are blended with numerous guitar rhythms and textures that enter and then leave at sudden intervals, making a sound experience that is unexpected and memorably catchy at the same time.

"Pure MonUng" is the first track on the London trio's second album, Without You I'm Nothing. Placebo released their first record in 1996 (released on Caroline in the States), having it go Gold in the UK and having moderate success in the US. Placebo now has the support of a major label, Virgin Records, to help with publicity and record sales. "Pure Morning" has already stirred mainstream interest, with moderate rotation on radio and MfV, with the video for the second single, "You Don't Care About Us" already on the Internet, close to release.

Without You I'm Nothing is a musical mood swing. It epitomizes anger and confrontation, as in "Pure Morning" as well as "Every You and Every

The boys from Placebo have put out one of this year's best records ,-..... ~ Me," which screams of emotional boredom: "Sucker love I always find / someone to bruise and leave behind / all alone in space and time," but naturally shifts to a'somber introspection of the soul, in "Ask for Answers" and "Summer's Gone."

"The first album was a very sexual record," says vocalist/guitarist/lyricist Brian Molko, "packed full of youthful vigor and lust. The new album is introverted, more of a post-coital depression - the comedown. It deals with an everpervading heartbreak and loneliness that seems to be in the air. The morning after is usually more analytical than the night before, and it's often more painful."

In addition to being lyrically intriguing, the entire album is amazingly written. Each song at its root is a solid form, combining well thought-out hooks with strong melodies, as well as interesting and provocative lyrics. These elements hold the album together throughout its twelve tracks (and one hidden instrumental track) that make it a roller-coaster of sound.

Each track has its own identity and personality, some reminiscent of early Nine Inch Nails Industrial Metal (''Brick Shithouse") to others of melodic straight-forward pop ("You Don't Care AboutUs") that hint at the Dambuilders' hit "Shrine." Each song is its own entity, separate from one another, creating a new sound experience that is different from track to track, yet never losing its place in rock and roll. Placebo

has'gathered sounds and texf:'ilies from multiple sources, electronic as well as organic, and used them in a differentiatingdevice to separate the songs from one another as well as Placebo from other bands.

Placebo has successfully cut an album that pushes the boundaries of rock a bit further than they were by having well-written songs that are equally well-composed and produced.

These factors should put Placebo's Without You I'm Nothing in the CD player of "indie" listeners as well as everyone else.

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ORTISHEAD HAVB NEVER tried to fit in. The British trio has always been on the cutting edge, leading the way and setting the standard for trip-hop, as well as mod-

~seCantf 9{9"C Live Portishead London/Slash em rock. Since their stunning 1994 debut, Dummy, Portishead have forged one of the most eloquent and unique sounds in modem music, gaining listeners and devoted fans from all musical genres: rock, ' R&B, hip-hop, and jazz. This is because Portishead are all of these, yet at the same time, none of them; something that can only be comprehended by listening to their music.

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release Roseland NYC Live proves this.

To christen their second albuni, Portishead, released in 1997, Portishead held a special engagementperformanee at the Roseland Ballroom in New York City as well as a ten-month world tour.

The Big Apple gig featured a line-up that induded the live band as well as a thirty-piece string section and a fivepiece hom ensemble, Roseland NYC Live captures this unique show as well as two songs selected from dates on their tour, To be perfectly honest, I am nota fan of live recordings. I own maybe five live albums; I find them pointless. Most live shows are simply reiterations of what is done in the studio; and it usu, ally doesn't sound as good, both in performance and sound production. I pity those who shell out forty or fifty bucks for a bootleg of a Dave Matthews or Pearl Jam concert. However, l'ortishead have not surprisingly evaded this outcome. Each track is delicately crafted, beautifully combining the ingenious sounds of Portishead with the timeless sound of a full orchestra.

The album weaves in and out of songs from both of their albums fu the natural flow of a live show, making it a greatest hits record with some integrity.

However, what grabs me most about this recording is masterful pro-duction. Portishead did the produc· tion themselves, and for good reason.

Each song plays with the subtleties of sound that is present in their studio albums. The layers and textures are deep, and present new surprises at each listen.

Each track is delicately mixed, be- ' ing cautious to not shove the orchestra down the listener's throat, as if to say, "We have a full orchestra and you are going to hear it." Instead, the orchestral sound hovers over the top of each track like a beautifully haunting ghost, waiting for the perfect momentto make itself known.

Roseland NYC Live demonstrates, once again, Portishead's ability to create something wonderfully different.

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