vol_9_no_9 by Michigan Review

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Solutions for the New Environmentalist By Anthony Woodlief Your tax dollars are currentIy subsidizing the destruction of trees in the TongassNational Parkin Alaska. You have also paid for the diversion of the San Joaquin River in California to provide low-cost water for farmers, endangering 42 wildlife species in the process. Wildlife in Horida's Everglades National Park is dying because tax dollars went to digging 1400 miles of canals and levees in 1948. The culprits in these instances are U.S. state and federal bureaucracies, which own and mismanage over 40% of the nation's land and natural resources. On April 22, environmentalists will gather worldwide to demonstrate concern for Mother Nature as part of Earth Day. Their solutions to environ-

mental destruction? More government ownership of natural resources. The key to protecting natural resources lies in making them private

profit from a resource's value, bear no direct costs if they use the resource poorly. If you own a lake, you must decide

The key to protecting natural resources lies in making them private property. Unlike government agencies, private owners have a direct interest in preserving the value of a resource. property. Unlike government agencies, private owners havea direct interest in preserving the value of a resource, because they bear the costs if the resource is destroyed. Bureaucrats, who cannot

whether you will keep the lake for private enjoyment, allow fishing and swimming for a fee, or even pave it over and make a parking lot in the middle of the woods. You will base

your decision on your personal preferences, and in part on how much other people will pay you to use the lake as they want to use it. Your self-interest leads you to consider the interests of others. If you want to profit from your ownership of the lake, you will allow others to use the lake for a fee, or you will sell it. Government bureaucrats have a different set of goals. Success in bureaucracy is not measured by profits, but by money spent, the size of the bureaucracy, and its sphere of influence. Agencies like the Bureau of Land Management and the U.S. Park Service tend to be more concerned with expanding their operations and increas-

Please See Page 10

Unearthing the Roots of Ecological Disaster accountable. According to the "exterand make Boston Harbor a household by Jesse Walker .nalities" argument, industries have no phrase, but it does little to solve our The environmental movement incentive not to spew soot into the air ecological problems in the long run. stands at an impasse. The issues it has or toxic wastes into the Mississippi Indeed, much of our current crisis is raised are at the forefront of contemRiver. Therefore, it is claimed, only rooted in past governmental policies. porarypolitical debate, and even those government action can who care little save tis from this for ecological "market failure." questions often Clean air and clean feel obliga ted to water are thus "public pay lip service gopds" that the marto the cause. ket cannot handle. Now, for perThis reasoning is inhaps the first correct. Pollution is time since the indeed an externality, early 1970s, enI but only because govvironmental ernmentmadeitone. The people who find Today's environmentalists merely problems are going to be addressed in something percolating in their water stack new government interventions . the public realm. cannot sue for damages; they can only atop the old. Where should environmentalists approach the regulators and see if the What is the cause of the "environgo from here? For most, the solutions poison they are drinking is illegal unmental crisis"? Simple. Our legal systo the problems they raise are simple der the standards that the government tem prevents people from being held and easily put more government inhas set. Those forced to breathe poIaccountable for their own actions. tervention, more government regulalu ted air cannot sue the people responThis is most obvious in the case of tion, more centralized power. The idea, sible; they can only see if emissions pollution. Traditionally, pollution is it seems, is that when it comes to the standards have been violated, and if considered an "externality," and thus environment, only the state can save the EPA will consider punishing the something to be either ignored (if one us from ourselves; the problems assoculprits. Pollution is not treated as it is a conservati ve) or used as an excuse ciated with centralized power are the should be - as high-tech vandalism, for creating a new government prolesser of two evils. to be addressed in a court of law gram (if one is a liberal). "ExternaliThese reformers are wrong. Govbecause polluters are protected by limties" are defined as by-products of . . ernment "protection" of the environ_. ited liability. Regulation leaves . this 'merit may get'politicians re--eIected .. qumanactionforwhichnooneishel~ ,

Government "protection" of the environment may get politicians re-elected and make Boston Harbor a household phrase, but it does little to solve our ecological problems in the long run.

problem unaddressed; currently, industries must only meet certain "standards," beyond which anything goes. The double tragedy of the regulations is their inflexibility. Not only do genuinely damaging activities go unstopped, but those people who harm no one, yet are nonetheless i n viola tion of regulations, are still punished. Because pollution isdealt with not by juries but by a political body, the

Please See Page 14

-INSIDE But Wait! There's Muir...

North Campus Nuclear Reactor

The Myth of Global Warming 11 Eco-Warriors

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 2

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Serpent's Tooth We were elated to learn last week that the people at the Sexual Assault Pre- . venti on and Awareness Center (SAPAC) included the Review's "Dial 1-900-HOT-BABE" ad parody as one of the Final Four ads nominated,for the year's "Most Sexist Local Ad" contest. Of course, Julie Steiner and her cronies failed to account for the fact that our mock-up fulfilled none of the six criteria listed for nomination, or the fact that it contained this disclaimer: "If you think this is for real, then you're a big, dumb idiot." What this says about the SAPAC scholars, we aren't sure.

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Why does A come before B? Who decided?Friends, the next time the name "Adams" is read prior to ''Bcilley,'' stand up for your inviolable rights to be treated ~ human beings. We must stop alphabetismJ

In a press release photo of Michigan Student Assembly (MSA) election contenders Anti-Imperialist Action Caucus (AlAC), we noticed a shocking detail - the six candidate slate was made up of (gasp!) four white males, one white wumin and only one proletarianof color. This marks an alarming gulf between actual demographic representation of the races and sexes (66% white male, 33% femayuU, 16% minority). Where are quotas when you need them?

Several days before every MSA election held in th,.e past several years, Corey "Scummy" Dolgon writes a silly editorial for the Daily in which he spreads mean and vicious rumors about people who don't like him. This

MICHIGAN

year was no different. He accused the Review of saying that he supported totalitarianism. This is simply not true. We've explored the possibility of him getting flattened by a bus, but nothing about totalitarianism. The quote he is thinking of actually refers to an article in the Daily, in which Our Esteemed Former Publisher made such a statement. Unsure of how to respond, we convened an impromptu editorial board meeting and officially adopted the following resolution: Corey Dolgon believes in Dolgonism, which is infinitely worse than totalitarianism, because it not only calls for normal oppression, bu tit also forbids people to shave.

After Conservative Coalition candidate James Green won the MSA presidency, the Daily quoted current lame duck prez Jenny Van Valey: ''The extent to which we (MSA radicals) don't get things accomplished comes from people like James Green, Students Who Do Everything They Can To Stop Other Students From Doing Work," (capital letters ours). Unfortunately, Green's membership in SWDETcrsOSFDW did not become public until after the elections. Still, we can't help but think proposed student strikes, funding "fact-finding" missions to third world countries, and grossly mishandling such simple chores as student group office space allocation - all supported by Miss Van Valey herself - were good SWDETCexamples of TSOSFDWism.

you-it'salla big, ugly conspiracy to keep "you know who" from succeeding in our capitalist system. End numerism!

First, Jenny Van Valey gives up the MSA presidency without a fight. Second, Corey Dolgon resigns from the Assembly. Third, "Dooder State College" is axed from the Daily. All three had been recent targets of our acerbic wit. Mere coincidence? You be the judge. We are the Establishment.

The semi-radical Emphasizing Student Power (ESP) recently ran asia te of candidates for MSA. And although . they conducted a reasonably slick campaign, one poster in particular caught our attention. It showed a picture of an ESP candidate standing on Mother Earth, between a pair of signs claiming ESP's opponents to be out of this world, so to speak. At the bottom, the poster announced ESP as ''The party with their (sic) feet on the ground." Inte!estingly, though, the ESP candidate's feet were not merely planted on the ground, they were firmly lodged in the middle of the USSR.

Just six hours after distributing the last issue, we received a phone can from an irate womyn teacher at the U-M. Although she did not have the ''balls'' to give her name, she chastised Jeff Muir, our insensitive columnist. It seems Jeff is "immature," and should spend more time "checking facts." When asked to be more specific, the caller said "I have eno~ students to teach, I don't need another one." And so, Jeff remains grossly ignorant of women's issues.

Why does 1 come before 2? Who decided? Don't let your math profs trick

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RE~EW Earth Day Issue

The Campus Affairs Journal of the University of Michigan Arch-Druid .......CareyBrianMeadors · Editor-in-Otief...........BrianJendryka Wood Nymph._............ .Adam DeVore Snail King.................................JeffMuir Eco-Terrorist.. .............DavidJ. Powell Wicked Witch ................ .5tacey Walker Publisher.... ,....................Mark O. Stem Assistant Editor................. Rahul Banta Copy Editor........................Dala Taylor Music Editor.. ,.................. ,Chris Peters Literary Editor............Adam Garagiola MTS Editor..... ,..................DougThiese Francophile .................Karen Brinkman Staff Sprites Chris Bair, Mike Beidler, David Boettger, Mister Boffo, Spencer Carney, Joe Coletti, Brian Cook, Sam Copi, Pete Daugavietis, Vincent DeSantis, Mary Dzon,. Athena Foley, John Gnodtke, Reg Goeke, Corey Hill, Jon Hoekstra, Nicholas Hoffman, Omar Javaid, Kishore Jayabalan,. Heather Johnston, Gary Mally, Jay McNeill, Bud Muncher, Crusty Muncher, MeganNelles, Greg Roth, Michael Skinner, Jay Sprout, John Transue, Al Tulkki, Anthony Woodlief. The Oak Guy.. _..,... ,........Oifton Gault Executive Editor.............. .MarkTulkki Editor-at-Large._.. ____ .] ohnJ. Miller Editor Emeritus. _____ ..Marc Selinger

The Michiglill Ret/iew is a fortnightly, independent, non-profit, student-run journal at the University of Michigan, We are not affiliated with any political party. Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of the editorial board. Signed articles represent the opinions at the author and not necessarily those of the Retliew. We welcome letters and articles and encourage comments about the journal and issues discussed in it. Our address is: SuIte One 911 North University Ann Arbor, MI48109-1265 (313) 662-1909

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 3

Roving Photographer Do you forsee any environmental catastrophes in the near future? by Gary Mally

Dan Harbold, Engineering Senior: No. I think we're starting to go in the right direction as far as recycling, etc., although the Earth Day people made more garbage than they tried to stop.

Anne Weshinskey, LSASenior:I think hairspray is already destroying our ozone layer; that's an environmental disaster, isn't it?

Jim Roble, LSA Junior: No.

Hans Anderson, Evergreen State College Senior: It's still too early to tell, bu t the odds are pretty good and with my luck... .

r----------------------------------------------------,

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

Do you ...

Oppose speech bans? Support the teaching of classic literature? Abhor the politicization of the classroom? Feel the U-M/s leftists need to be challenged? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, support

The Michigan Review With your tax-<leductible donation of $15 or more, you'll receive a one-year subscription to the campus affairs journal of the University of Michigan. You'll read in-<lepth articles about the wasteful U-M bureaucraty, be the first to hear of First Amendment violations, and keep abreast of the forces working to erode traditional Western education. YES! I WOULD LIKE TO HELP! I'm sending my tax-<leductible donation of:

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 4

From Suite One:

The Authoritarian Left ~ Their cries and moans are heard almost daily - "stop racism, stop the war, house people, not cars." In fact, almost every "noble" slogan has been drilled into our ears except "peace, land, bread," the Bolshevik slogan of the Russian Revolution. At first it seems only the coldest of hearts do not lend their sympathy to these fine, upstanding causes. But a second look will show their true brutality - the brutality of the Authoritarian Left. It doesn't take much imagination to find a societal problem; the real creati vi ty

isinfindi.nganaccep~blesolution.When

faced With a "solution," ask yourself, "does it increase the proportion of decisions made by individuals, or does it instead expand State power?"

ment flophouses, which would only serve to keep people dependent upon government handouts. Instead of lauding the successful businessmen of our time and encouraging them to assist the poor voluntarily, HAC screams about their "selfishness." This is rather ironic; it is self-interest that propelsbusinessmen into their positions of wealth. Instead of blasting this "selfishness," the HAC ought to encourage it among the homeless. But, their solution is parasitical; rather than promote the virtues of perso~al responsibility and • hard work, HAC Instead looks to thievery and whining as its tool to help the homeless. The Ann Arbor Green Party is also a

When faced with a "solution," ask your• • self, JJ does It Increase the proportIon of d·" d' b "'d""d I d eClslons rna e yIn IVI ua s, or oes it instead expand State power?"

The prominent Le~t of Ann. Arbor hopes to solve each of Its pet cnses by expanding State power - under the rubric of passing a law, raising a fax, or forcing an individual to act against his will. This approach ignores individual rights, and instead concentrates on a mythological "common good." The Ann Arbor Green Party, the Michigan Daily, and the Homeless Action Committee are just three of many possible examples. Although the Daily editorial page has improved somewhat in the last few years, it, too, succumbs to the demands of the Authoritarian Left. The most striking example of this is their editorial that called for the re-institution of the draft. The Daily proposed to forcefully enlist 18 year old males into the armed services; such a draft, they argued, would curb U.S. military initiatives. Perhaps so, but enslaving individuals to the military is a thoroughly immoral way to modify U.S. foreign policy. To further "support" their call for a draft, the editorial wanted to guarantee that the armed forces' racial proportions reflect society at large; in other words, the Daily didn't just want to enslave 18 year old males, they wanted to enslave 18 year olds via racial quotas. The editorial's philosophy was so outrageous and opposed to individual rights that the CableNewsNetwork rushed to the campus to ridicule the Daily, and hence, the student body. Truly, the University of Michigan was shamed that day. Sadly, this type of solution is not unique in Ann Arbor; the Homeless Action Committee (HAC) has long been a rank-and-file member of the AuthoritarianLeft. The HAC would like to see people's money stolen from them and used to build low-income housing. It regularly protests the building of parking structures, which would be used by taxpayers, and instead clamors for: govem-

~~n of subjugati~g the in.dividual.to the

common good. Accordmg to their platform in the March, 1991, Agenda, the party advocates passing moratoriums on development, strict business regulations, and higher taxes. Their platform fingers the insidious profit-motive as the source of all evil. In their ideal (and idyllic) world, non-recycling citizens would be carted off to jail, unless they first paid hefty fines. Every land-owner would have to ask for permission before develop- . ing "his" land; he would have to prove that his tinkering would be "ecologically sound." This type of thinking, taken to its logical conclusion, denies individuals the right to own anything. The Authoritarian Left's membership is quite extensive. The United Coalition Against Racism demands govemment-enforced hiring standards for every business in the country. The College Democrats support their party's call to soak the middle-class under the guise of "taxing the rich." The Political Science Department and the U-M Housing Division pass speech codes. Local feminists work to ban pornography and even bad manners - now called "psychological rape." Ann Arbor art organizations pout for more state funding, rather than raising their own money. Even the Michigan Student Assembly tells student groups how they must operate doughnut stands. The next time you hear the Left bemoan a problem, ask what is its solution. Does the solution recognize the sanctity of the individual, and his right to not lose his life, liberty, or property? Or does it instead call for a new tax, a new regulation, or some other form of government control? If it is the latter, then you have encountered the Authoritarian Left - the enemy of personal liberty.

Letters to the Editor

Review is Offensive, Insensitive, Wonderful ... Offensive I am writing you regarding an item which appeared in the March 20th "Serpent's Tooth" column. Although I make it a policy never to read the Review, this paragraph was brought to my attention by another student. The item in question referred to the Homeless Action Committee as a "rag-tag vagrant worshipping band of urban pirates" and accused HAC of "sucking away money from the students of the Residential College under the rubric of a 'Benefit FormaL'" As a member of both HAC and the RC and the organizer of the aforementioned event, I am surprised that you would find a problem with the idea of students dressing up a little and listening to three bands for only $5. The bands are offering their services

on campus. The tone is not one that encourages response or respect, but rather a feelingof people backstabbing those whom they do not feel strong enough to confront on their own. Itisa mocking column, with little hope. With regard to Mr. Muir's caustic words about psychological rape, he doesn't seem to understand the fact that these whistles, breaths, etc. are Debra Chesnin Residential College Senior merely the icing on the top of a pile of hate literature against women (take "American Psycho," for example), high Insensitive rape statistics, and increasing I would like to thank the Review for objectification of women. These actions reminding me as to how not to respond only encourage women to feel more to readers, and Jeff Muir as to how not insecure and objectified in an already to write a column. hostile world, factors that Mr. Muir The Review's column, "The , does not take into account. And while Serpent's Tooth" strikes me as a very Icannot "do anything about"Jeff Muir's bitter, sarcastic page where the Review status on the Review, I can and will takes pot shots at people and activities

for free and this is what makes it a benefit. I fail to see how this involves "sucking aw~y money" from RC students. I would like to add I found the "Serpent's Tooth" item offensive and furthermore, the only good thing that can be said about the Michigan Review is that it can be recycled.

argue agains this insensi ti vi ty and narrow-minded ness.

Kirsten Mowrey Residential College senior

Wonderful Student Soapbox was a great success. We are writing this letter to thank you for the attention you gave this new program. The article in the Michigan Review was wonderful. The publicity that it afforded the program was an ingredient in its success. Your journalistic integrity and attention to detail will bring you much success in the future. Once again, thank you. We look forward to working with you next year.

Mark Bernstein, Ben Bass UAC/Viewpoint Co-chairs

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 5

The Politics of Criminalizing Hemp As Hash Bash approaches and Earth Day looms near, one hears more than ever certain strain of pro-legaliza tion arguments for ma ri juana - namel y, tha t hemp provides an environmentally sound resource with numerous practical applications. While theses pragmatic aspects of legalization have been receiving steadily growing attention, the issue of personal liberty has drifted into the background. A brief account of how hemp came to be outlaw~, is illuminating in this regard, for if hemp is to remain illegal, one should know how it really came to be that way. From Jack Herer' 5 The 'Emperor Wears No Clothes, we learn that hemp was our planet's largest agricultural crop and most important industry for over 1,000 years before the time of Christ until 1883 A.D. The invention of the cotton gin and the end of slavery caused it to slip into second place, where it remained to be the" most desired and second most used na tural fiber un til the 19205/' according to Herer. However, in 1916, U.s. Department of Agriculture Bulletin 404 predicted that once appropriate harvesting technology was developed, hemp would blossom into its fonner prominence. When ,the needed technology became available in the mid-1930s, lithe enonnous timber acreage of the Hearst Paper Manufacfuring Division, Kimberly Clark (USA), St. Regis - and virtually all other timber, paper, and large newspaper holding companies - stood to lose billions of dollars and perhaps go bankrupt," as hemp would have provided an ideal substitute for wood pulp. In 1937, DuPont had patented a new wood pulp processing technique, a technique that was to constitute80% of its business over the next fifty years. Threatened by competition from hemp, Hearst and Dupont turned to Harry J. Anslinger, the head of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous ~gs and the nephew-in-law of Andrew Mellon, the chief financial backer of DuPont. As Herer documents, the politics of pull and a flood of yellow journalism did the rest. Yet such practices oflimiting the market in favor of special interests are at the root of many ill-conceived government programs. Itis not against "new products" that threaten to compete with existing businesses, but rather against dubious efforts to "change the rules" and nip

competition in the bud, that the government must defend. As D. Keith Mano wrote inMay28, 1990's National Review, "Drug commerce between one consenting adult and another is nobody else's business. And a free market mechanism should obtain. Instead, our welfare socialist approach has given monopoly privilege to , organized crime by default." Just as the history of marijuana criminalization is the history of the vested interests that opposed it, so too is its present status largely due to the alcohol lobby, which fears legalization would drastically reduce profits. "I suspect that, by intent or not, some of our most paSSionate anti-drug people are serving as merce- . nary militiamen in the liquor cartel's fight to keep marijuana from competing with beer or hooch," writes Mano in May 14, 1990' s National Review. These lobbies push their criminalization laws by arguing that drugs cause crime. The role of legislation, however, should be to ensure that consumers are held accountable for their actions, no matter what product they happen tobeusing. In other words, punish the real crime - theft or murder - not the drug use that mayor may not have caused it. Instead, as Virginia Postrel laments in February 1990's Reason, "We have ceded ourselves, body and soul, to .. . the goveinment. We ask it to be our parent, our teacher, ourfriend. We expect it to tell us what's right and what's wrong ... We don't make moral choices, we make laws." As we increasingly think of the government as our Great Protector and Moral Savior, rather than the defender of individual liberty, we relinquish a degree of personal autonomy. We sanction the government's intrusion into a sphere which ought to be governed by personal discretion and individual responsibility. In December of 1840, President Abraham Lincoln recognized the moral poison that such governmental intrusion entails. "Prohibition .. . goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes ... A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our govemment was founded." Over 150yearslater,these words could hardly be more relevant to those of us who ardently defend individual liberty .

.. ..Fascinating, and Shockingly Offensive Fascinating

one way to break that stereotype, then I support it.

Barbara Wooden I have recently started reading the Communication Junior Michigan Review. I find the issues in the Review very fascinating to read. One Shockingly Offensive particular issue that caught my eye was the issue of affirmative action. The joke about "Lesbian date rape" Theminoritystudentshavetowork on the "Serpent's Tooth" page of the March 20, 1991 Michigan Review is just as hard to graduate. The reality is that there nave to be some quotas. shockingly offensive and hurtful, and Blacks and other minorities have been , carries terrible implications for all looked upon as inferior for so long. women. Because of this we should have the Acquaintance rape is never a joke, right and access to programs on camnot in any context, not among any pus. The goal of affinnative action is to , group of people. I am outraged that you treat it lightly in a country where give students equal opportunities to learn, and that's only fair. Minorities one out of every three women will be have been underrepresented (sic) in sexually assaulted, and on a college tennsofeducation. It has been assumed campus where the statistic is closer to for a long time that we can't succeed one out of two. academically-. If affirmative action is The rape joke is further made of-

fensivebyitshomophobiccontext. The author apparently sees "Lesbian" as a tri vializing word and the ra pe of Lesbians asan absurd and amusing concept. Lesbians are, in fact, at a particularly high risk for rape due to exactly tbis type of ignorance and homophobia. The real issue is not Lesbians raping Lesbians, as the author implies, bu t the far more frequent occurrence of men raping Lesbians, women they view as particularly appropriate targets for sexual violence. I suggest you use your cherished free speech more wisely next time: There is no need to further dehumanize any group of women, thereby increasing their risk of attack.

Sarah Miller Residential College Freshman

The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 6

But wait, there's Muir

MYTH: "Environmental regulation isn't about money; it's about saving the Earth."

FACT: "When an apocalyptic scientist makes headline-grabbing predictions, he may be accurately reporting his conclusions, but he may be also discarding scientific skepticism for the sake of fame and plentiful foundation grants. Environmental groups are not going to be able to raise money if their 'studies' do not predict doom around the corner." "A single piece of legislation, the Resource Conservation and Recovery Act, which covers the disposal of more than 450 substances, now has 17,000 rulings related to it. It can cost as much as $1 million and take as longasf.our years to get ReRA approval to operate a business. A small entrepreneur cannot afford to wait that long or spend that much ... In general, regulations discourage innovation." "There is nothing surprising about companies trying to use government regulations to enhance their profits, or about private interest groups whipping up public hysteria as a tool in fundraising. The problem wlth the environmental debate is that environmentalism has been portrayed as a philanthropic enterprise, not as a matter of competing legitimate interests." "Environmentalists are not saints, and pollution is not evil. It is an unpleasant by-product of human activity ... (To fight pollution we need) the advancement of science.. . (and) the creation of wealth." from the National Review, April 1, 1990, by David Brooks

Eco-Freaks and the Press by Jeff "John" Muir Despite what I have written in two previous- columns, I learned many wonderful things from Professor John Vandermeer's "Biology 101: Biology and Human Affairs." I especially learned a great deal about environmentalism, although I'm not sure it was the type of knowledge that the Old Grey One had in mind. Two course requirements related directly to environmentalism. First, a required text was Barry .commoner's Making PeJlcewith the Planet, a rambling book long on sappy anecdotes and sob stories but a wee bit short on factual evidence. The book sought to inform the reader about how mean and nasty all Westerners are for actually being productive and having a high standard of living. Second, I was required to read half a dozen items from the popular press each week tha t related to Vandermeer's lectures and then write a short essay on the items. At first I thought this would be a difficult assignment - I mean, how many articles about biology are there in the popular press each week? I was comforted to learn that most lectures would be on lighter fare, including, but by no means limited to, pop environmentalism. I'm sure Vandermeer and the T.A. who came up with these assignments assumed that since neither Barry Commoner nor the popular press could be equated with a textbook orcutting edge science, the whole class would become junior pop environmentalists after spending time each week reading that sort of garbage. The press presents nothing that could be in any way be confused with an even handed, rational debate over relevant issues. Rather than seeking out the Ann Arbor News or the Michigan Daily, as I'm sure Vanderrrieerwasexpecting,I went through recent copies of Policy Reuiew, published by the conservative Heritage Foundation. Now, I've always been somewhat skeptical about a lot of the popular ideas of environmentalism, but even I was amazed at some of the trash that I had been lead to believe over the years. I learned about ''The Great Acid Rain Flim-Flam," ina story by Edward C. Krug, a soil scientist who had done studies with the Illinois State Water Survey and the Connecticut Agricultural Experiment Station. Krug is not what most would call a right wing extremist - he's merely a serious soil scientist who for some strange reason

selI his story to Time, Newsweek, or any other mainstream

couldn't

publication. Over the years, publications like these have beaten into our heads the perils of acid rain. Certainly, I thought, these stories must contain some granules of truth, right? Wrong. According to the popular ' press' version of things, mean capitalists build factories to produce goods, these factories emit exhaust, which then enters the atmosphere and returns to Mother Earth via rain. This "acid rain" then flows into pristine lakes and streams, befouling them and killing off all of those neat fish. The area reported to have been most affected by this scourge is the Adirondack mountain region in up state New York. Krug tells quite a different story, however. According to him, the water table in the Adirondack region has always been highly acidic - naturally. When Europeans settled in the region in the 18th and 19th centuries, slash and bum forestry soon followed. The

run off of ash from this technique 0 forestry was highly alka line and helped to neutralize some of the high acid levels in the region. As this happened, struggling species began to thrive, and in addition, ne~specieswereintroduced. The area became a veritable sport-fishing mecca as a result. When all of the slashing and burning came to a halt, however, the acid content in the water tables slowly began to rise~ to their natural levels. This coincided with the industrialization of the region, so some green-thumbed conspiracy theorist concluded - withouttheaid of a study like Krug' s- that the latter caused the former. That's just one of the many cool things I leamed about the environment thanks to Professor Vandermeer. I also learned about so called "global warming." On any particularly hot or cold day, or any day that is climatically out of the ordinary, it never fails that some bozo will comment, "Duh, must be due to the hole in the ozone

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 7

Continued from page 6 and global warming, huh huh!" Through my weekly reading assignmentsIlearned that for every study showing a rise in global temperatures there is at least one showing the opposite. I also learned from a lengthy ar: ticle by Lew Rockwell that even the proponents of the warming theory admit that their elaborate computer models, used to simulate the supposed history of the Earth's climatic conditions, are seriously flawed and might just as easily prove nothing as something. I learned that a 10 year NASA satellite study and National Weather Service Data compiled since the 18705 actually show no rise in the Earth's average annual temperature. In addition, I was reminded of something that the likes of Commoner, Vandermeer, and the popular press would dearly like us all to forget. Do you remember the "Ice Age scare" of the late 1970s? I do. On the first Earth Day, held 21 years ago right here at the University of Michigan, environmentalists warned us all that the Earth was cooling, and that a new spate of glaciers would soon be rolling over Oklahoma if Uncle Sam didn't spend lots of .money on their pet causes. Dozens of books as well as television "documentaries" followed. (And, I suspect, Vandermeer taught a course called "Biology 101: Biology and Global Cooling," but that is just a guess.) The pointis that the public is being bamboozled by Bambi lovers. What sort of kind hearted, red-blooded, caring, feeling human would actually be against the environment? If the Commoners and Vandermeers had their way, everybody who questions their ecological fantasies must be "against" the environment by default. The problems begin when the government listens to these misinformed eco-freaks and proceeds to spend billions of dollars "fixing" the environment. As a result, they not only waste money, but they hurt the environment and wreak havoc on many segments of the economy. Given what we now know about "acid rain," is it really good for the Adirondack region to be "fixed" by having its acidity levels lowered unnaturally? Is it really good to fire all of those factory workers in the process? Probably not, bu they, who are we to let facts stand in the way of neat sounding theories? Jeff Muir is a junior in general studies and is the Snail King for the Review. He is the great, great, great nephew of John Muir, the naturalist. \

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Nazi-Greens At first glance, comparing the Greens to Nazis may seem a little rash. But, a closer look shows them to be disturbingly similar.

The Nazi Party Platform. 1920

• ''The government must undertake the improvement of public heahh.·

• "Establish a city-funded nonprofit heahh care clinic ... "

• "(We) combat the ... materialistic

• "... the powers of greed and avarice that have gripped this country for so long beckon us to wake up ... from a slumber of selfishness."

• "The activities of the individual must .. . be for the good of all. Therefore we demand: ... an end to the power of financial interests."

"Environmental regulation does not cost much at all; we can easily afford it."

Ann Arbor Green's Platform. 1991

• "We ask that government under• "... decent housing, health care, a take the obligation above all of prolivable income, and good working viding citizens with adequate oppor- " cond~ions are rights, not privileges." tunity for employment and earning a living."

spir~ ... "

MYTH:

• "The future of Ann Arbor must be guided by the needs of all people, not just by short term profit ... (Pass) a moratorium on development."

In addition, according to Anna Bramwell's Ecology in the 20th Century, Nazi Germany was the first government in Europe to form natural reserves, have tree-planting regulations, and impose wild-life protection ordinances. The Nazi Minister of Agriculture, Walter Darre, adopted organic farming. Himmler established an organic farm at Dachau. It should come as no surprise that the oak leaf was the symbol of the 55. Why is the link between the ideals of the Green movement and the Nazi party so strong? Because both parties preach that the "common good" is more important than an individual's rights not to lose life, liberty, and property. When individual rights are compromised for "society," then no one is safe - as Nazi Germany and Soviet Russia have proven. The Greeh movement, and much of mainstream environmentalism, trashed the notion of individual rights long ago. Hopefully, lovers of freedom can stop this drive toward statism - the idea the government is the solution to every problem, and that individual rights are secondary. But, this can only happen if we stand up for the individual, and his right to use his land as he wishes - whether it be a pri vate park or a factory. The al ternati ve is slavery to the state.

Sources: Nazi Party Platform information - Objectivist Newsletter, June 1965 Ann Arbor Green information - Agenda, March 1991

FACT: "If consumers knew how much they were paying for regulation, they probably would be very upset. Environmental regulations alone cost Americans more than a thousand dollars per family each year. But government agencies do not feel great pressure to worry about the expense. The compliance costs do not show up in their budgets, but in the budgets of the private companies... The new Clean Air Act will cost an added $25-35 billioh a year, over and above the more than $100 billion spent annually on all pollution controls ... It must be a lot offun to be a Senator or Representative; you can do so much good with other people's money." from "The New Wave of Business Regulation,~ by M. Weidenbaum of WashingtOn University .

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Carey Brian Meadors is a senior in nuclear engineering and is the Arch-Druid of the Review's Earth Day Issue

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Feature

The Nuclear Reactor on North Campus. • • by Peter Daugavietis

After World War II, 12,000 of the A Brief History have earned high honors in various ferns Contain Multiple Copies of each 18,000 students enrolled atthe Univerfields such as medicine, physics, social Gene)?," "Trace Element Signatures of sity of Michigan were veterans; four Originally, the Phoenix Memorial science and engineering. One of the Copper Mineralization Episodes at out of every five male students had Laboratory was intended to White Pine, Michigan," and served in the war. As a result, there address a broad range of "Neutron Activation was widespread support to construct applied nuclea r research. Analysis of Ancient Roman some type of war memorial. The technology of small reGlass." Other less exotic The burea ucra tic process began on search reactors was classiprojects are: "Polymer December 18, 1946, when the StUdent fied,however. This changed Bicrystals" and "Study of Legislature passed a motion to start a in 1955 when President the Effects of Randomness fund that would establish a "functional Eisenhowerdeclassified the and Diso rder on Phase memorial." The Regents followed suit information for the first Transitions." in September of 1947 when they creGeneva conference on Itis usefultoevaluate ated a War Memorial Committee to Peaceful Uses of Nuclear nuclear power not in the explore different means of honoring Energy, and the University abstract, but in comparison those who served and died in the war. of Michigan was one of the to other technologically Various ideas were suggested. One first universities in the naproven sources of energy, student had the clever thought of contion to receive a grant from such as coal and oil comstructing a television tower with the the government to build a bustion or hydroelectricity. call letters H-E-R-O. Another possinuclear reactor. The Ford Eachhasitsown unique adbility, taken from E.B. White, was to Nuclear Reactor - so vantages and disadvanstart a fund that would defray the costs named for an earmarked tages; but nuclear energy is of trips made by undergraduates to the contribution by the Ford . . arguably the most environMotor Company - became A bud's-eye-vlew of the Ford Nuclear Reactor pool. mentally benign. United Nations' sessions. He believed in "packing the galleriesofthe Council operational on September Chambers with spectators from our 18,1957. early grants was awarded to UniverPanacea or Pandora's Box? colleges and universities, until the auThe Michigan Memorial Phoenix sity research Donald Glaser, whose work earned him the 1960 Nobel prize In regard to modern nuclear power Project has provided research support dience [would become] vast and noisy." in physics for developing the "bubble reactors, though, nuclear waste seems to many university researchers who Yet another proposal came in from chamber," a tool that exto preoccupy many people who are a U-M alumnus by the panded the possibilities concerned with the environment's name of Fred Smith. His for identifying subsafety. Yet according to Professor Ron idea was to build a laboatomic particles and Fleming, Director of the Phoenix Meratory that would be deanalyzing their characmorial Lab, this is "strictly an ecovoted to peaceful use of teristics. nomic and political problem. There nuclear energy. Hisidea are a wide variety of technological s0was in reaction to an arBut, What's It Good lutions." To him, one advantage of ticle published by a For? nuclear waste is that it is radioactive, French Nobel Laureate "which means that its hazard goes who condemned the fact Although immense away as a function of time, and that that the United States was amounts of research these hazards are easy to detect and utilizing most of its have been done at the measure. With chemical hazards or nuclear technology for Phoenix Memorial Lab, heavy metals, like those from coal military uses. none of it has been for burning plants, the danger is permaSmith's idea imme- . military purposes. The nent." diately received enthusiRegents adopted a resoA 1000 megawatt coal-burning astic support from the lution at the March 1949 power plant, using high-grade Pennstudents, faculty and admeeting, which prosylvania coal, disperses into the enviministration. With such a claimed, "That this Meronment approximately the same unified backing, the morial be dedicated to amountofuraniumasa nudearpower project was undertaken. (mIENS ~~lW NUCLEAR ENERGY peace and to the welfare plant would consume to produce the The operation's Parmon U<MDICi Ib,,,.... Milo itIaDd ucI NoWq c:ouId be rurthor from 1h,IndIt.. " , . of human beings and ......... to racIioIIctiw .... iii to call .... _it. same 1000MW of power . name, "Project Phoenix," pion.. haft npoNd __ ......· ...d .. palitInIaJwl. _oIillbinba. ..d otorility ....... 1IIolr IIlIo.bunlitm _ • ...,..;tiD.. ;.....u,. f_oolJaob. shall consistofan atomic A similar comparison can be was an allusion to both bokbac&loo. ... d otbor _ _ . . - . or;" U-..y.thoill_of ...... powor bPo..,....c .......... u...u. _ _ dwo\> it clow1othodroiD. research center, housed drawn between nuclear waste and the mythological phoenix ~ 1i'Yin3 the Pi1crim nuclur powtr So1ar eo...,.. wind poww, aDd oca.. ""tlflilUl"Cel pic< an up to _ _ ...... Ilbly .. dov,1op of-.y aIroady prvrido .. with ..... uabIo __ in a building to provide biological waste, in that due to the that rose out of its own , - . . In tho Soriot U..... tho _ ..Ufrom i1thaonuda&<~b_ofbU Chm>obyi may _ into tho bwuiroda of U-iD_doIIan. ,.;_ ............. adequate facilities for comparative difficulty of measuring ashes to live again - in . . - ......... radialion IoaIu. ucI"-lho u.-adI. with ..... thao. millioo cIWdnn 0Iill .waIIing modical_l research, study, and adbiological chemicals, it is difficult to this case, the phoenix Allor oil. our Amy frioodo ........t ubd iltb.o, Yot tho u.s. CouDciI CoT Eaorv A _ . n..... induotJy fnmt_ ......... bail4 WDted nuclear po.... any than you ministration,devoted to understand how hannful certain bioemerged out of the ashes hundrodl of .... nuda&< _ planta U.s. ooiL P........ iDformalioa._~ ThI1 want you. to belirte thai tb. . ilalOlaDoo to AdIoo. SWto 201·A.1.as"U" Sl. NW. W - - . the peacetime, useful, logical chemicals are to the human of atomic destruction nadeer wute. DCzooeg. and beneficial applicabody. and the Manhattan NUCLEAR ENERGY MEANS A POISONED PLANEn tions and implications of Project, the code name for In addition to coal-burning, Support GREENPEACE ACTION and create a Nuclear Free Futon atomic energy." nuclear power compares favorably the World War II atomic Some of the present bomb effort. with many other methods of power Greenpeace posters, like the one above, distort projects are: " Are Ferns production. While seeming innocuous, the facts about nuclear power and cloud the issue. Ancient Polyploids (Do "Hydroelectric power can be the most

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 9

... a Glowing Example of the Peaceful Atom But What About Meltdowns and environmentally destructive source of Other Accidents? energy," according to Professor Fleming. "When large dams are built, Many environmentalists recoil at thousands of square miles of nature the thought of using nuclear power, are flooded. In addition, there is allargely due to the media's sensationalways the risk of calamity downstream, ist, selective reporting, and general obif the dam were to fail," he added. The fuscation in cases like Three Mile Island. Johnstown Flood of 1889, forinstance, According to Professor Inglehart, the took 2,000-3,000 lives-more than the radiation produced by the equipment Three Mile Island incident. failure in that reactor was about "as The hazards of coal are equally much as the average American gets dangerous. If radiation is the environw hen he or she flies in a jet plane or gets mentalists' concern, then nuclear power a chest X-Ray." Although health benis their friend, because combustion efits can not be construed from this emissions from coal and oil operated acciden t, Inglehart nevertheless noted electrical plants emits much more rathe ironic coincidence that, "the mordiation than nuclear power plants. tality statistics for that region of PennIn other words, if a man were to sylvania in the decade since Three Mile stand outside of a nuclear power plant Island are slightly below normal." What for five years, and his twin brother this does illustrate, though, is the were to stand outside of a coal plant for harmlessness of the radiation from the an equal amount of time, the brother Three Mile Island accident. outside the coal plant would most cerDespite the insignificance of this tainly be worse off. Not only would he incident, Professor Inglehart recalls, suffer from the noxious fumes emitted, "regularly seeing pictures of mushbut the natural radioactive isotopes room clouds," and stories that "eastfrom the coal smoke exceed the negliern Pennsylvania is going up in steam" gible radiation emitted from the nuclear from the media. He described it as "a power plant. It would be amusing to classic case of building a mountain out speculate on the effect of holding all of a molehill." power plants to the same standards for emissions, both radioactive and not. N u c I ear ,...._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _--, Power In The Future power plants would have Since this inno problem cident in meeting the 1979, the limits on United States emission of has not begun sulfur, soot, the construcor acid rain. tion of any Could com-' new nuclear bustion power plants; plants meet we now lag the limits on behind many emission of other nations radioactivin nuclear ity? Probably technology. not. Presently, For the only about 20 sake of the percent of the environment, electricity in hardly any the United other form of States comes energy profrom nuclear ductionexists power. Yet in that is as safe as nuclear ~~~~=::::=-::..____ co u n t ri e s such as power. c:u,of Control rods plunge into the glowing core. France, Japan course, IS arand Korea, guably the over half of their electricity comes from most dangerous source of energy. As nuclear power. Even lesser developed we have seen in Kuwait, it is the one countries such as India and China are energy source over which the world is expanding their uses of nuclear power willing to go to war.

:. .:-=====.J'

because of its cost effectiveness and its cleanliness. The United States has never been

into constructing a nuclear power plant, and then you don't get to use it because it's tied up for several years [by public oppositionl, just

~------------------~----------~----~' havingthatmuch

capital tied up is a finaocial disaster," added Inglehart. The Green Atom Inglehart concludes that, "there is no question that nuclear power plants are basically environmentally less damaging than coal burning plants. By quite a The "Reactor On" sign informs visitors and researchers. large margin,路 too." forced to expand its nuclear power Of course, nuclear power is not capacity, largely due to its enormous free of health or environmental risks, fossil fuel reserves. According to Probut compared to other means of enfessor Fleming, "We have huge doergy production such as coal and oil, mestic reserves of coal, and as long as the waste is minor and the risks are we are willing 'to accept the environlower. Burning fuels that cause large mental pollution, we can bum coa:! for amounts of damage to our environmany generations." He wenton to add, ment is harmful and unnecessary "The U.S. has the luxury, as it does in (though irOnically this is the result of many cases, since it is such an adevery so-called, pro-environment, yanced and wealthy country, that it anti-nuclear "success"), especially can be as inefficient as it wants to be when nuclear energy can minimize and still get by." such damage. Professor Inglehartsuggestsa more "Burning coal and oil will be consociological explanation why people sidered by future generations as one of irrationally fear the most obnuclear power. scene acts done Concisely put, by our society nuclear power and in our genhas "the eration, because Hiroshima imthosecommodiage." He has ties took milconcluded lions of years to produce, and from hi.S re-I we burned search that,_ them," specu"most Ameri- . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ' cans, and most people in many other lated Professor Fleming. He went on to countries, are confused about the difadd,''! put it in the same category as ference between a nuclear bomb and a burning redwood trees for fuel." nuclear power plant." In one of his We are already far .behind in studies, he discovered that among nuclear reactor technology. For cleaner, Americans who are college graduates safer energyI the U.S. must expand its nuclear power capabilities. only 17 percent knew that an explosion like that of the bomb used in Japan in World War II is physically impossible in one of the nuclear power plants now Peter Daugavietis is a sophomore in the Residential College and a staff operating in this country. "The reason why the nuclear power writer for the Review. industry is dying in the U.S. is because if you put $100 million to $200 million

Presently, only about 20 percent of the electricity in the United States comes from nuclear power.

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 10

New Environmentalist Continued From Page 1 ing their budgets than with managing and using natural resources wisely. A private owner is motivated by economic pressures to use his resources in the most valuable way, but a bureaucrat responds to the most politically powerful groups, be they industrialists or environmentalists. As a result, these groups concentrate on swaying public opinion and receiving government favors. They get the government to use the resources according to their wishes, spreading the costs, both in real terms and in terms of potentially more valuable uses, to the rest of us. Sell it to the Envjronmentalists An example of how government ownership of resou rces costs society is the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR), where oil companies are battling environmentalists for the right to drill. Environmentalists want the refuge to be off limits to all industry in order to preserve its pristine qualities. Oil companies wantto exploit a potentially profitable resource. The future of . the refuge will be determined by the ?:.':-:>- ~,federal government. If environmental.-' 1sts have their way, potential billions of dollars worth of resources, valuable to the entire economy and thus to every American, will go untapped. If the oil companies win out, hundreds of acres of land will probably be destroyed, and thousands of animals threatened. The real tragedy in this case is that the decision over how to use ANWR doesn't have to be zero-sum. The National Audubon Society, for example, owns over 26,000 acres of wildlife refuge in Vermilion Parish, Louisiana. This refuge, the Rainey Wildlife Sanctuary, is similar in its abundance of wildlife and pristine conditions to ANWR. Interestingly enough, al-

though Audubon opposes drilling in ANWR, they have allowed three oil . and gas companies to drill in Rainey, and have receiving millions in royalties. Unlike drilling on public land, where controls are lax, the oil companies were contractually obligated to drill only at certain times using special techniques so as not to harm the surroundings or disturb the wildlife. The companies accepted these terms notbecauseofaltruism, but because the property is privately owned, and could not be captured politically. No harm came to the preserve, because watchful Audubon officials were present to insure its safety. Such is the power of private ownership. Saving the Elephants - Despite the Environmentalists Private ownership works just as well for endangered species as for land. In the summer of 1989, the U.S. joined a ban on ivory trade inan effortto save the African elephant, whose number had fallen in Kenya alone from 65,000 to 18,000 in just 8 years due to poaching. International environmental groups like the World Wildlife Fund publicized these declining numbers, citing them as evidence of the need for animmediatebanonivorytrade. What they neglected to report is that in some Southern African countries, including Namibia, Botswana, and Zimbabwe, the African elephant population is increasing by about 5% annually, and now accounts for 20%of the continent's total elephant population. The reason? These countries allow a limited form of private ownership. Villagers around the game parks where the African elephants live are allowed to sell hunting rights for elephants that come onto their land. The villagers in these countries protect the elephants, because they are a source of profit. Villagers in Kenya, by contrast,

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work as guides and look-outs for illegal poachers, because for them the elephants are nothing but competitors for scarce resources. While Kenyan villagers work for the poachers, Zimbabweans shoot the poachers on sight to protect their livelihood. Unfortunately, the international ivory ban will only serve to eliminate the value these elephants have to the community, while increaSing their value on the black market. Poaching will increase, while protection by legitimate businessmen, the Southern Afrkan villagers, will decrease. By supporting the elimination of a market, so-called environmentalists are issuing a death warrant for the African elephant. Avoiding Another Valdez Well defined property rights could have averred, or at least mitigated, the damage done off the coast of Alaska by the Exxon oil tanker Valdez. The fact that nobody owned the shoreline, coves, inlets, and fishing grounds damaged by the spill meantthat Exxon wasobligated only by fear of publicity and government lawsuits to clean up the mess, and then only to the satisfaction of Uncle Sam. , If the Valdez had been a tanker truck driving down a private street, and it overturned and spilled oil into neighboring yards, Exxon clean-up crews i

Alaskans, Exxon would have taken more precautions to avoid a costly spill. If not, the company would have paid for every dime of damage and cleanup costs. Rights to Pollute? Even to protect the air, a domain where property rights are difficult to imagine, some semblance of property rights can be created to control pollutants more efficiently than current methods. Charging polluters a fee to pollute, for example, gives them an incentive to curtail the pollution. Unfortunately, this entails depending on the government to set a price for pollutants that will reduceairpollution to an optimum level. Still, experience with tradable emissions permits, which allow factories that reduce pollution below set levels to sell pollution "permits" to those who cannot do so as effiCiently, demonstrates that pollution "markets" can be simulated. Creating this kind of market will lower pollution at less cost than broad government mandates. Similarly, charging drivers for their auto emissions will encourage them to pollute less, generating consumer demand for pollution control technology. Ideology is Killing Nature Common sense and experience demonstrate that the best way to protect any resource is to place it in the I hands of individuals with a direct interest in preserving its value. Still, the majority of environmentalists remain committed to govemmentownership, partly because of a belief that better gove,rnment is just around the corner, and partly because of hostility toward private property. Government, however, has often been nature's greatest enemy. Perhaps we should distinguish between the activists who are environmentalists only because itis the trendiest way to be socialist, and those who are genuinely concerned about the environment. Those of us who are concemed about MotherNature would do well to ignore those "environmentalists" who consistently disregard free market solutions to environmental problems simply because these are not in keeping with their own left-wing ideologies. By ignoring market solutionsand concentrating on government programs doomed for failure, these groups are indirectly responsible for the demise of the wildlife they claim to care about. Hopefully, the future of environ-

Government, however, has often been nature's greatest enemy. would have been on the scene promptly. Why? Lawsuits. If Exxon did not restore people's property to its original condition, orcompensate them for their losses, they could take the company to court. When the government sues for environmental damage, bureaucratscan't accurately assess the costs of the damage, because they are not direct owners. For an illustration of how well the government estimates costs and prices, check out what the Defense Department pays for toilet seats, or consider government sales of mineral-rich land to developers for pennies an acre. These are not the people you would get to appraise your home, and we certainly could not expect them to accurately know the value of vast amounts of indirectly owned property. The best way to defend nature is to place it in the hands of self-interested individuals, and let liability laws handle the rest. Rest assured that if the Valdez had been shipping oil next to a coast owned by watchful, litigious

Please See Page 12

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 11

Global Warming •• A Lot of Hot Air? by Jay McNeill Ahhhh, spring - birds chirp and the sun shines once again. Students walk to class appreciating the warmth and counting the days until vacation. And it's all made possible by that beautiful global-warming "greenhouse effect." Or is it? Since the summer drought of 1987, the scientific community and the general public have been paying particular attention to the earth's temperature and rainfall with the greenhouse effect in mind. According to most environmentalists, the earth is currently heating up at a record rate due to increasing levels of carbon dioxide gas in the atmosphere because of industry. They are convinced that sunlight penetrating the earth's atmosphere is being quickly absorbed by the "greenhouse gases" (which include carbon dioxide) while trying to escape into space as infrared radiation. In other words, the earth is trapping the sun's energy much like a man-made greenhouse. However, other scientists, like Dr. Martin Gaskell, a U-M professor of astronomy, aren't so sure the excessive amount of attention the theory is currently receiving is warranted. "When people talk about global warming and talk about the earth being hotter now, they're talking about very small temperature changes. The total range of fluctuation (both rising and falling temperatures) for the past century has been less than one-quarter of a degree Celcius. That's quite a small change," he said. Prof. Gaskell is especially skeptical when it comes to the effects of increasing carbon dioxide levels. "Most of the gases causing the greenhouse effect are not carbon dioxide, but water vapor," he said. "There are other gases that absorb and carbon dioxide just happens to be one of them. The atmosphere of the earth has almost no carbon dioxide at all; it's what we call a trace gas. It's increasing right now, but it's a small amount and how much effect it's going to have on the earth's climate is controversial. But I do know that a doubling of the amount of car-

bon dioxide does not translate into a doubling of the greenhouse effect." Dr. Fred Singer, the director of the Science & Environmental Policy Project at the Washington Institute for Values in Public Policy, backs Gaskell's point

of view ashepoints to information that has been virtually ignored by the media and government policymakers. In his essay published by the Center for the Study of American Business, he wrote,"There was a major increase in temperature prior to 1938, in spite of the fact that greenhouse gas concentrations were much lower than they are today ... and one should recall that only a decade ago, climate cooling was a looming issue." Gaskell reiterated that view when he said,"If you look at measurements in the last century, you'll discover the earth's temperature was cooling even though carbon dioxide production was still increasing. The earth was cooling and now it's rising; you can see the cycles and all of this happened long before the human prod ucticin of greenhouse gases. This should caution us tha t wha t we are seeing is not necessarily the greenhouse effect." Much information, both past and present, points to the earth's temperature as being cyclic in accordance with sun's energy output. It has been well

documented that the number of sunspots greatly influences the sun's enery output and that there is a distinct eleven-year cycle in terms of numbers of sunspots. Ouring" sunspot maxima," the sun' senergy ou tput increases; while

Astronomy 102/112 class about the greenhouse effect and said,"Most things in the universe are in what's called thermodynamic equilibrium. It means that the heat coming in is balanced by the heat going out; the earth is no exception. The hotter the earth gets, the more light it is able to radiate in the shorter wavelengths, which pass back into space more readily than long wavelengths. So if the temperature of the earth is raised, the excess heat and energy will eventually be able to escape; the greenhouse effect is not a 'runawayeffect.'" So, if the earth is not really warming up as the media has been reporting, why all of the hoopla? ;0... A~ Y~L.L Gaskell explained,"What ~eAOY foR il1 1~ has produced some of the EXPfN~(VE G'i<EENpopular interest in global ~~emec.,... ~no~~ warming has been the high temperatures we've had here in the United States. But we're not noticing what's going on in London or other places. We had a really hot summer a cou pIe of years ago and people like Time magazine were coming out with frontcover articles on global in "sunspot minima," its output dewarming. Well, the British London Times clines (thesuniscurrentlyin its maxima wasn't paying quite as much attenstage, which might explain the relation-it was one of the coldest summers they ever had." tively calm winter). Gaskell said,"We know from historical evidence that Gaskell believes the media is not a t faul t when one considers where many major changes in the sunspot cycle have of the public's misconceptions have caused major weather changes on earth," and he also points out that, come from. "I wouldn't put too much '~During a 70 year period, from the blame on the media," he said. "They mid-seventeenth century to the midjust report what they're told. Some reeighteenth century, there were no reporters don't even realize there's ancordings of sunspots. In Europe they other side to this issue and a great deal called that period the 'Mini-Ice Age.' of thatis the fault of the scientists themThe most dramatic example of that is selves. One of the things that drives when the Thames River totally frozemany scientists is the desire for fame that river hasn't frozen this century." and glory. They want to emphasize NicholasNewell,a scientist at MIT, how important their work is. If their studied the correlation between suntopic appears more exciting and more spots and the earth's temperature from important, they can get more funding 1856 to 1986 and concluded that there foritsotheyoveremphasizewhatmight were 999 chances in a thousand that happen so they get that funding. A there was a correlation. Also during statement that something might happen that period of time, when taking the can get degraded into something that fluctuations of the sunspots into will happen, or something that is hapaccount,"there is no appreciable difpening." ference between temperatures at the Singer took a slightly different beginning and end of the record." stance when he wrote,"These images Gaskell recently lectured to his are assiduously promoted by many

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 12

MYTH: "The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency is protecting our rights.Âť

FACT: "The case, Pozsgai v. United

States, (concerns) John Pozsgai, a self-employed truck mechanic in Morrisville, Pa. In 1989, Pozsgai was sentenced to three years in prison, five years probation, and fined $202,000 for placing topsoil and clean fill on his own property aft.er removing 7,000 old tires from what .had been a dumpsite. In addition, Pozsgai, who has .no criminal record, was ordered to restore his property, not to whatit was, but to a 'wetland' condition according to plans drawn up by the Army Corps ofEngin~ers."

."A Florida man, Ocie Mills, and his son are serving 21-month prison terms for cleaning out a 3Q04'oot drainage ditch on Mills' parcel and placing 19 loads of clean building sand on it. They had hoped to build a retirement home. The two men were filled $5,000 each, denied eligibility for parole, and ordered to restore the property to its original state within 90 days of their release." ha1f~acre

"In Missouri, several farmers have run up againstthe Corps of Engineers, with one being sued for building a levee to guard his field against floods, and another being prevented from tilling his own land that cost him over $100,000 to buy and clear." "Paul Kamenar... has taken a special interest in defending Pozsgai, who fled Communist Hungary in 1956. Kamenar maintains that... 'the EPA will begin using the case of U.S. v. Pozsgai as a precedent to send property owners to jail... if they dare [develop land] without the federal government's permission.'" from a column by Brian Summers of The Foundation for Economic Education.

Feature

The Big Red Dog Speaks The next day, compelled by the By Clifton Gualt neer, Goll was able to purchase several interests of science, my druidic nature, Environmentalism is a multi-fachundred acres of land from the U.S. and the desire to kill a massive hunk of eted concept which has come to the Government for almost nothing. For time, I headed down to Ohio. Goll fore of intellectual debate in the last 20 reason" known only to the Goll family, Woods is not on the map, so I had to years. Revolving around the ever-exthe land whichis now the preserve was trust my instincts. The locals working panding impact of humankind on the never touched. natural. environment, , . . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - , There is not much virthedebate has created a gin timberland left in the great deal of confusion. United States today. What Amidst the chaos a few little is left is far out West brave souls have, as aland presently subject to ways, stepped forth to the onslaught of the timsave us from ourselves. ber industry, seemingly It seems that the sky is justanothercaseofgreedy falling so fast that, as capitalists destroying all always, only massive in their way for the cruel government. intervendelight of short term profit in convenience stores were friendly tion will save the day. taking. enough. ''Down near Archbold," I was Needless to say, all of this hype has It is not that simple, however. It caused me no end of worry. Soon told in a nigh indecipherable southseems that timber is not a profitable enough, I found myself poking around of-the- border accent. industry these days. In fact were it not the School of Natural Resources lookWhen I finally got to Goll Woods! for strong unions, friends in Congress, was rabid to see some trees. I checked ingf9rsomeanswers. I was poking my and the fiscal largesse of the governwaydown the hall when I came across out the the map at the entrance and mentofthe United States, there would an open door where it looked like the followed the "Bur Oak Trail." Soon not be much of a timber industry left. professor was in. enough I came upon some of giant The government is so generous as to treeslhad been after. ThemostimpresI knocked and was beckoned into cut "fire roads" accrross treacherous siveexamples were probably about 140 the office of Dr. Burton V. Barnes, Western terrain at great cost. Unfortufeet tall and five thick at the base of the professor of the renowned 'Woody nately, "fire roads" almost immeditrunk. I stumbled around the woods in Plants' class. Barnes seemed likable ately become logging roads, used to awe of the ancient trees around me. In enough,soI told him that! was looking remove timber as well any potential into writing an article on the private addition to Bur Oak, there were also fire hazard. sector and environmentalism. Though Red and White Oak trees, Shagbark Many private conservation groups he kept a perfectly straight face, he Hickory, Ash, and some large impres- such as the Nature Conservancysive trees with absolutely smooth ivory obviously did not think thatthe private and individuals would be perfectly colored bark of which I don't know the sector had ever done much good for happy take the land off of the name. the environment. He told a couple of irresponsable hands of the government. anecdotes about toxic waste dumping After a while I came to a large oak Conservation minded groups and inin minority neighborhoods (a PC which had fallen, and subsequently dividuals would actually pay for the been cut through the trunk to clear the double whammy!) and I got the idea. land, rather than soak the taxpayers, I told Dr. Barnes that I liked large path. I got out my knife and started while preserving the timber for future oak trees (for reasons I will not di vulge marking off every ten rings. When I generations. Perhaps more people tohere), Bur Oaks in particular (An exwas done I had made 40 marks. When day have the foresight the Goll family this particular tree had been only 200 . cellent Bur Oak tree on campus is the had a century and a half ago, but are "Tappan Oak" between Haven Hall years old it had been part of forests hampered in acting on it by a governand the'Graduate Ubrary). I asked if which covered much of this continent. ment which is loathe to sell land anythere was anywhere near here where I When it died it was part of an isolated more. could see some old Bur Oaks. He said 360 acre preserve purchaSed from the no, but that in northwest Ohio there Goll family by State of Ohio in 1966. Clifton Gault is a senior in history Peter Goll Sr. emigrated from was a place called Goll Woods which and chief druid of the Review. had some impressive trees. France to America in 1834. As a pier

The next day, compelled by the interests of science, my druidic nature, and the desire to kill a massive hunk of time, I headed down to Ohio.

New Environmentalist Continued From Page 10 like Dayton Hyde, an Oregon rancher who bought and landscaped hundreds of acres of land for wildlife, making homes for over 80 species of animals. Contrast his efforts with left-wing environmentalists, who lobbied the government to oversee his actiyities once

they found that he was caring for endangered species. Uninspired by his noble efforts to save animals, and irritated at their own inefficacy using public property, they were morecontentto have his endeavor brought under govemmentjurisdiction than to assist him, or to imitate his efforts. Hyde, however, still persists in helping the ani-

mals he loves, and he does so with private property, not because he is right-wing or libertarian, but simply because it works. Anthony Woodlief is a graduate student in political. science and a staff writer for the Review.

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 13

Global Warming

-TEXTBOOKS

Continued From Page ~ 1 More dangerous are those who have hidden politicial agenda, most often oriented against business, the free market, and the capitalistic system ... to control private firms by regulatingevery step of every manufacturing proceSs. More drastic, precipitous - and especially, unilateral- steps to delay the pu~tive greenhouse impacts can cost jobs and economic prosperity without being effective./I "I don't think people should build important policy on whatis basically a

potiticiansand er.vironmental groups and repOrted uncritically by the media, anxious to exaggerate cataclysmic disasters. An editor of Time magazine even assures journalists that it is all right to become environmental advocates, never mind scientific facts./I He went on to say,"Many people are hyping the greenhouse warming 'threat' to push their own pet agendas. Even scientists are becoming cheerleaders; budgets for climate research just jumped to over one billion dollars.

lie. We need to find out what the truth is. Truth is liberating but lies never are. We want to find out what's really going on here, be cautious, and also be aware of people who are trying to push points of view that are not really substantiated./I

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 14

MYTH: "Capitalism is the cause of pollution"

FACT: "The United States Environmental Protection Agency estimates that each year U.S. industries emit 2.7 billion pounds of toxic chemicals into the air. According to a recent Soviet report, 'in the Ukraine alone (government owned) industries discharged 22 billion pounds of toxic substances into the atmosphere during 1988, The 800 million pounds of toxic waste released in the air by a single Ukrainian city, Zaporozhe, which has a population of875,000, equals about one-third oftotal U.S. emissions." "(In Central Asia) Drinking water is scarce... because it is highly polluted by fertilizers. In one area of Kazakbstan as many as 261 cases (of cancer) per 1,000 inhabitants were reported." "All major seas and lakes are dying. The Aral Sea of Central Asia ... was once the fourth largest lake in the world. Izvestia reports that in recent years the water level has dropped by 13 meters and the total area has decreased by onethird."

"(Soviet ecologist Mikhail) Lemeshev says that over the last 20 years Muscovites' life expectancy has dropped an average of 10 years and residents suffer 50 percent more birth defects than the national average. Moreover, the average Muscovite has two chronic diseases, and up to 75 percent of schoolchildren are sickly." "The economic system of producingto meet gross output targets (central planning) has wrought the ecological crisis faced by the Soviet Union. The system protects producers from their activities as long as they meet their gross output plan... To achieve an efficient economy, the Soviet Union must address the property problem, .. property rights could be recognized and given legal protection." from Meltdown, Inside the Soviet Economy, by Paul Craig Roberts

.Unearthing the Roots on EPA corruption, see Jim Sibbison, "Revolving Door at the EPA," The Nation, November 6, 1989). topic has become politicized. Favored Pollution is nbt the only example industries can count on the EPA to look of a government-created externality. the other way, while small businesses Right now in the West, ranchers on - especially those in possibly dangerpublic lands do not have to bear the ous competition with a favored intercosts of their actions because they do est-can be shut down for completely not own the land they use. Overgrazharmless infractions of vague regulations. ,---------------------------------------, To give one example, the Hazardous Waste Treatment Center (HWTC), a lobby for waste-treatment companies, has pushed hard forl'. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .~. . . . . . . .~. . . .~~ stringentstandardson waste treatment. ing results. If the livestock were raised At the moment, the regulations estabon private lands, the ranchers would lished by the Resource Conservation be careful to keep the area from being and Recovery Act (RCRA) are already overgrazed, so that it could be used both draconian in theirextentandinefagain profitably. fective, even counterproductive, in Another example comes in the form protecting the environment. One case of municipal control of garbage collecshould give the flavor: the RCRA aption. Because government subsidizes plication for a waste disposal permit collection of garbage, homeowners do given to an Eastman Kodak factory not directly bear the costs of their garwas a stack of papers seven feet tall. bage disposal- and, as a result, have Established waste-treatment compano incentive to recycle. By replacing nies can afford to meet such regulatax-fu~ded garbage collection with tions; potential competitors, however, direct funding through user fees - or, might find startup costs prohibitive. better still, with a completely Hence, we find the established comprivatized system - recycling would panies lobbying, through the HWTC, suddenly be in the homeowner's seHfor what amounts to a grant of rnainterest. This is not a pipe dream; in nopolistic privilege disguised as enSeattle, where such a system has been vironmental "protection." (For extra implemented, a majority of the popucredit, see James Bovard, "A Hazardlation recycles, even though there is o u s r-------------------------------------~i no mandaWaste," tory recycling law. Reason, NovemB y ber 1989). taking enIn short, vi ron mental conthe EPA is not a' i cernsoutof neutral agent. Its regulations can be the hands of a politicized bod y bent tQ, one party's advantage or an(namely, the Department of the Inteother; frequently, as with the HWTC, rior) and putting itinto the hands of a the regulations are created with one body accountable to its own goals group's agenda already in mind, even (most likely, groups like the Sierra though the regulators themselves may Club, the NatureConservancy, or even be unaware of this. Also, the EPA is Earth First!), it becomes easier to hold corruptible. One can bribe an EPA ma nagers accountable for their actions official to look the other way or unand liable for their mistakes - which fairly harass a competitor, and none is difficult in a system based on politiwill be the wiser. The jury system cal patronage. Indeed, the reaction to leaves fewer holes. By contrast, the Alston Chase's expose of mismanagerelativelyfJexiblecourtsystema!lows ment at Yellowstone National Park, precedentstobesetonacase-by-case Playing God at Yellowstone, was not to basis; juries must address not a rigid examine his claims but rather to ban regulatory code, but the si mple questhe book from park bookstores, vilify the author in private, and pressure tion of whether or not demonstrable damage to person or property has major environmental magazines into occurred. In the EPA, on the other not reviewing the book. Unfortunately hanp, t.he ODly way to .h f fl~~ibleis to for the .Yellowstone establjshment, at be corrupt. (For some hard evidence ' least part of Chase' s criticis~s proved

Continued From Page 1

One can bribe an EPA official to look the other way or unfairly harass a competitor, and none will be the wiser.

Pollution is indeed an externality, but only because ' government made it one.

sound: two years later,asa resultof the park's "let- burn" policy, fires raged out of control, destroying much more than management counted on. The Icf-burn policy made sense on the surface - except that, when it was adopted in 1972, nothing was done to def' :se the buildup of the past 86 years, during which natural fires had been suppressed. Underdecentralized, nonpoliticized managemen t, such a policy would not have done nearly as much damage- because advocates of other management philosophies would have had an opportunity to put them into place elsewhere in Yellowstone. In addition to creating externalities leading to pollution, the government directly despoils nature. In fact, the biggest practitioner of ecocide in the United States of America is the U.s. government. The most environmentally damaging projects in thistountry are those of the Army Corps of Engineers. The government subsidizesecologically disruptive technOlogies. The government's farm policies frequently resultin unnecessary soil depletion. Government meddling is hardly limited to the U.S., hoewever. It was the government of the Soviet Union that built and managed the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. It is the government of Brazil that subsidizes uneconomical exploi tation of the rainforests at the behest of the International Monetary Fund, an the while refusing to recognize the property righ ts of the indigenous peoples of the forests. In short, government is hardly the environment's best friend. Jesse Walker is an RC senior in History. He wishes to reassure his liberal friends that he is not a regular contributor to the Michigan Review.

The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 15

Books

Earth First!'s Founding Eco-Warrior Confessions of an Eco-Warrior Dave Foreman Harmony Books Hardcover, $20.00 229 pgs. by Adam Garagiola In Confessions of an Eeo-Warrior, Earth First! cofounder Dave Foreman describes his life on the front lines of the radical environmental movement. The work describes the enlightened principles underlying Foreman's and EF!'s struggle to save the earth from the rapacious horde of humanity: obstructive civil disobedience and destructive monkeywrenching. Some acts of monkeywrenching are tr~ spiking, machinery sabotage, and survey steak pulling. In addition, the reader is treated to an expoSition of the principles of ''biocentrism,'' in which Foreman declares that, among other things, that the life of a human has no more in triniic value than the life of an animal. Following a short introduction, Foreman launches into an apocalyptic account of the earth's future ruin as result of the emergence of industrial civilization: He characterizes. the activities of modem man as "genocide against [the] wilderness," and cities as "scabs of concrete," and urges the reader to reject the "narrow alternatives presented {to] us by Congress and the Forest Service in discussing protection of land." His sensationalist descriptions of the effects of development (civilization is a "blitzkrieg againstthe natural world") do not lend the same kind credibility to his argumentsas would a rational presentation of his case. The next few chapters of the book deal with the history of the conservation movement and the founding Earth First! According to Foreman, EF! was founded by environmental activists, who, like himself, were frustrated by the failure of "moderate" groups like the Sierra Club and The Wilderness Society to protect the remaining natural area from development. Foreman's demands are just silly. When the Forest Service recommended that 15 million acres of National FQrest land be made off-limits to road building and timber cutting, Foreman made it abundantly clear that he believes all remaining roadless areas be closed to development, irrespective of other considerations, like the presence of useful mineral deposits on the land, or the need for wood and wood products. The most interesting portions of the book deal with the philosophy and

activities of Earth First!. Foreman devotes a chapter to explaining the principles that define the EF! movement. The first principle, "placing the Earth firstinall decisions,even ahead of human welfare if necessary," and the several derived from or related to it provide an interesting insight into the concept of Deep Ecology as embraced by EF! and by Foreman personally. Under the rubric of the first principle, Foreman explains that it is not EF!'s objective to preserve the wilderness when it can be done without affecting the lives of people, but that if people's . needs conflict with the "needs" of the earth (as determined by Foremen and his fellow EF!ers), people lose out. More explicitly, it is "a refusal to accept hu~ man beings as the measure by which to value others." Elabora tingon this point, Foreman explains that the life of an individual human is of no more significance than that of a grizzly bear, and declares that "Human suffering resulting from drought and famine in Ethiopia is tragic, yes, bu t the destruction there of . other creatures and habitats is even more tragic." In a world oriented to Foreman's priorities, one could imagine the U.N. sending environmental teams into areas hit by catastrophe to save the rain forests and the tigers while

result in the "natural reduction" of population size. After all, animal populations constantly suffer these sorts of fluctuations, and humans are (Foreman writes) just another species of animal. In another chapter, Foreman's characterization of humans is even less kind; he writes that through our ecological destructive practices, we have become a "disease" which infects the earth. This "antihumanism" is even apparent in sections of the work where . he considers "realistic" proposals to preserve the environment: one of the stipulations he includes in his proposal to create "Primitive Wildness" is that no rescue operations be carried out in wilderness preserves, presumably because searching for hopelessly lost or seriously injured hikers would be disruptive to the ecosystem. Foreman then elaborates on the foundations he has laid down, casting himself in the role of advocate for the welfare of the birds, bees, bears, and trees. He characterizes the settling of Nprth America asa "religious crusade to conquer the wilderness," and attacks the "Manifest Destiny" which created the society he lives in and benefits from. Foreman's plans for transforming

Foreman declares ... that the life of a human has no more intrinsic value than the life of an animal. sizable chunks ofthe United States into people starve to death. Foreman demands that we recogprimitive wilderness are as grandiose nize "that there are far too many huas they are infeasible. He ignores the man beings on Earth," a point which fact that implementing his plan would may indeed be true; however, he does most likely involve the relocation of thousands of people, and that the cost not propose how to solve this problem. This is perhaps fortunate; given his . to the government, both of managing rather callous (he would say the area and in the loss of the productive value of the land, would be pro"biocentric") attitude toward human suffering. hibitive, not to mention oppressive. Inattentiveness to minor details such Implicit in Deep Ecology, then, would seem to be either a complete as these is characteristic of much of disregard for the needs of the human Foreman's thinking. population as it stands, or perhaps even The section on monkeywrenching is basically preaching to the choir, a conscious decision to limit the production of food and essentials to an though Foreman does devote some 'environmentallycorrect'level, knowspace to defending the practice against its detractors. His justifications for the ing that the ~ondition of scarcity will

practice range from sEM defense (an eco-terroristidentifies himself as being a part of the land which is under "attack") to its usefulness as a political tactic. All of the reasons Foreman gi ves reflect a self-righteous disregard for the law and the democratic processe~ which created it, and an enormous disrespect for the property of others as well. Those who share Foreman's same anti-social attitudes will find his practical ad vice on how to successfully carry out acts of monkeywrenching quite helpful and inspiring. Most readers, howev<!r, will be left wondering how these malicious acts of vandalism become a morally acceptable practice by being declared "ecotage." The closing sections of the book provide guidelines for reorganizing environmental activist groups so that they can lead the fight to "save our biosphere" more effectively. It is rather hard to believe that, after reading Foreman's advice, big groups like the Sierra Club and the National Audubon Society, with their national constituencies and sizable memberships, will decide to reorganize themsel ves into a gang of destructive vandals and chanting protestors like Earth First! Foreman closes the book with a statement as to the reasons why he recently left EF!. The group, he claims, has lost its environmental focus; new members, coming from the radical left, have muddied the pond by introducing their own political agendas and transforming the organization into a leftist social protest movement. Obviously, Foreman made the mistake of letting the Revolutionary Workers' League come to his meetings. Adam Garagiola, a sophomore in creative writing and comparative literature, swallowed the last known snail darter in existence in order to collect on a$5 bet.

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The Michigan Review, April 3, 1991, p. 16

Music Whales Alive Paul Winter/Paul Halley Narration by Leonard Nimoy Living Music by Peter Daugavietis, Adam DeVore, and Adam Garagiola The following transcript 'WQS Sell led inside an empty Jim Bellm bottle recovered in the northern Atlantic by a Reviewsponsored whaling boat. It has been partially destroyed by saltwater seepage.. " ... butLeonardNimoy'snarration comes across as rude to the whales, quite humanocentic." "You mean, anthropocentric." We had been listening to Nimoy narrate whale songs for the past eighteen hours, while captain Ahab impatiently paced the deck searching for Moby. Spock's voice was wearing us thin. The album opened with "Whales Weep Not!", a soothing mixture of wave a.nd whale sounds, which is marred by Spock's dry, artificially dramatic voice reading from D.H. Lawrence. The tape's selection of whale melody was clearly Humpbackocentric - we were keenly aware of 'its appalling lack of diversity, despite the sea mammal tokenism revealed in the credits. The whale sounds in

The Call 0' the Whales similar to those in "Whales Weep Not!':, but the overall tonewasoneofominous foreshadowing punctuated by melancholy organ strains. The album rebounded with its third track, entitled "Georgeand Gracie,"a clear hold over from the Star Trek days - and seeks to communica te the fervor of the young whales' amorous agitation. We discovered that as the music rises and the melody swells, the tempo becomes more frenzied; surging irresistibly forward, the music peaks - and then subsides surprisingly soon. Thecomposition was an audio National Geographic extra vaganza. "Turning", the album's foqrth track, is best described as post-coital whale pillowtalk. One imagines the male whale turning over and lighting up a waterproof camel... Side one ended with "Concerto for Whale and Organ" which left our imaginations wandering aimlessly with the moaning sub-aquatic brutes that lowed like ca ttle back on the ranch. We were startled when the gurgling murmur ceased, and annoyed by the need to flip over the tape - it was a magnified echo of the anxiety caused by the gaps of silence between the songs ... " "How can Spock make the judgement that Humpback whale discourse is superior to other varieties of whale

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discourse when he's not a member of the oppressed whale community? Interpreting the music through a Vulcan paradigm, Spock speaks from a distinctly eli tist - and, we expect, artistically refined - perspective, which ironically illuminates his inability to prqctice the harmonious life-style he implicitly advocates. And furthermore, in 'Humphrey's Blues,' Humphrey's essential message is clouded by the insidious humanization of the second side, which comes about through the imposition of irritating soprano sax interludes-one cannot determine if it is Humphrey, or the egocentric saxophonist, who is blue. The aquatic pseudo-saxophone often obscured the whale-tones, which was a real buzz 11

kill. "The inevitable whale hunt scene is embodied in IQueequeg and I ... The Water is Wide,' yet despite my awarenessofthisobviousfact, we could not see what the whale was saying; It was a Whale Thing, man, and we just couldn't understand. "Then the drum machine kicked in, with all the subtlety of a Phil Collins tune, and grossly over-drama tized this obviously-intended-to-be-climactic piece. 'Quequeg' epitomizes the Sturm und Orang of the whales precarious existence. The whale's fight for sur-

vival becomes the critical event in the textual Bildungsroman ... "

At this point, the text becomes blurred beyond recognition, with the exception of . the concluding paragraphs and what must have been a bibliographical glossary. " ... Wait! we see the light, and it's Green ... " Simple yet profound, Whales Alive provides a deeply personal insight into one of nature's most intelligent mammals, the whale. The socio-environmental milieu of these peace-loving creatures is characterized by a state of harmonious coexististence with the other inhabitants of Mother Earth's oceans. Their model life-style is one which man should seek to emulate, with the objective of creating a new reality for ourselves, one which more closely resembles the watery utopia of George, Gracy, and Humphrey.

Peter Daugavietis is a xenoeconomist specializing in the market dynamics of Sperm whale economies, Adam DeVore is the chief gunner on the Icelandic whale boat Nordseejaeger, and Adam Garagiola is a professor of Humpback linguistics at the University of Atlantis.

Have you been poisoned? Dr. George Reisman, professor of economics, Pepperdine University, exposes

THE TOXICITY OF ENVIRONMENTALISM

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