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May 15, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 1
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remember when...
0 6 9 1 Spoiler Alert Page 8
• Memorial Day Events .............................5 • Military News ........................................6-7 • Entertainment .......................................8-9 • Charger Report ....................................... 10 • Remember When ............................. 12-13 • Just For Laughs/Crossword ............... 14 • We Support Our Troops ...................16-17 • Classifieds ................................................ 18
Giving thanks to those who serve and those who have served Congress designated May as National Military Appreciation Month in 1999 to ensure the nation was given the opportunity to publicly demonstrate their appreciation for the sacrifices and successes made by our servicemembers — past and present. Each year the president makes a proclamation, reminding Americans of the important role the U.S. Armed Forces have played in the history and development of our country. May was selected because it has most days set aside for celebrating and commemorating our military’s achievements. These days include Loyalty Day, which was established in 1921; Victory in Europe (VE) Day commemorating the end of WWII in Europe on May 8, 1945; Armed Forces Day created in 1949; Military Spouse Appreciation Day established in 1984; and of course the best known of the May holidays, Memorial Day.
Memorial Day, is the only federal holiday in May and is celebrated on the last Monday of the month. The day, dating from the Civil War era, traditionally has marked recognition of those who have died in service to the nation. Each year on Memorial Day, the White House Commission on Remembrance promotes one minute of silence at 3 p.m. local time to honor the military’s fallen comrades and to pay tribute to the sacrifices by the nation’s service members and veterans.
National Military Apprecation Month: What’s It All About?
National Military Appreciation Month started as a simple idea; to gather America around its military family to honor, remember, recognize and appreciate those who have served
and those now serving and to know the history behind it all. Subsequent formal legislation informs our servicemembers that their country has set aside an entire month to honor, remember and appreciate them. In 1999, legislation passed in the U.S. Senate designating May as National Military Appreciation Month, with the support and sponsorship of Senator John McCain (R-AZ) and Representative Duncan Hunter (R-CA) of San Diego and over 50 veteran service organizations. In April 2004 more comprehensive legislation was passed by unanimous consent of both Houses of Congress, H. Con. Res. 328 (see below) , that May is National Military Appreciation Month and urges the President to issue an annual proclamation calling on the American people to recognize this special month of May through appropriate ceremonies and events.
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Distributed on the 1st and 15th of each month. Available aboard all San Diego County military bases, onboard in-port ships, at participating Albertsons, Ralphs and CVS Pharmacies. For more locations, visit www.militarypress.com/distribution The Military Press Newsmagazine is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Newspaper, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materials appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Appearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press Newspaper. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscription by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses.
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Historical look at Memorial Day...
Above: President Taft Reviewing Decoration Day Parade, date unknown. Credit: Library of Congress. Top right: Heroes of the battle of Gettysburg were paid tribute by surviving brothers-in-arms who dropped flowers from the air on the Gettysburg battlefield, 1938. Credit: Harof nel, Tomb ti en ris & Ewing Collection, Library of Congress. S y, on Regiopher Anth Right: Civil War veterans gather on Decoration .S. Infantry the U Sgt. Christ d 3 r, ie d n Sol g at Day, Ortonville, Minnesota. On review in centhe Unknow places a fla ld Guard), O gton Nae in h rl A (T r, t ie ter of town, 1880. Credit: National Archives. d men ol S n e Unknow 24, 2012. Tomb of th ay M ., a V etery, tional Cem ENTERTAINMENT
JEWELRY
HONORING OUR HEROES • MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND
Family fun and activities for all!
May 23 – May 25
Veterans Wreath Ceremony May 23 • 9 am
US Navy Band Live Performance May 24 • 1:30 pm
Adventure Discovery Zone May 23-25
San Diego Blood Bank Blood Drive May 25 • 10 am-3 pm
Portraits of Resilience 50 Student Portraits of Veterans May 23-25
Meet the Aviators and aircraft they flew May 24-25 Performing Live on the USS Midway Museum’s Flight Deck
Saturday May 23
For Event details, tickets & more, visit: www.midway.org
(619) 544-9600 • www.midway.org 4 May 15, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
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Area events for Memorial Day *All events take place on Monday, May 25, unless noted in parentheses. • Bonita – 11:00 a.m. – Memorial Ceremony and Flyover by Vintage Planes, Chapel of Roses, Glen Abbey Memorial Park & Mortuary, 3838 Bonita Road, Bonita, CA (Contact: 619-2395977 or 619-498-4600) • Capistrano Beach – 10:00 a.m. to Noon – Ceremony, Pines Park, 34941 Camino Capistrano, Capistrano Beach, CA (Contact William Manes, VFW Post 9934, 949-248-1419) • Chula Vista – 11:00 a.m. – Dedication Ceremony, Veterans Memorial, Mater Dei Catholic High School, 1615 Mater Dei Drive, Chula Vista, CA. • Coronado – 10:00 a.m. – Service hosted by Coronado VFW, Star Park, one block off Orange Avenue at Star Park Circle and Loma Avenue, Coronado, CA (Contact: 619-865-4809). • Coronado – 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. – Concert – Coronado Big Band, Coronado Ferry Landing, 1201 First Street, Coronado, CA (Contact 619-435-8895) • Del Mar – 11:00 a.m. – Del Mar Community Memorial Day Service, St. Peter’s Episcopal Church, 334 14th St.,
Del Mar, CA (Contact: 858-279-5458). • Escondido – 10:00 a.m. – Ceremony hosted by American Legion Post 149, Oak Hill Memorial Park, 2640 Glenridge Road, Escondido, CA (Contact: 760-745-1159). • La Jolla – 2:00-3:15 p.m. – Ceremony, Mount Soledad Veterans Memorial, 6905 La Jolla Scenic Drive S., La Jolla, CA (Contact: 858-459-2314 or www. soledadmemorial.com). • Lakeside – 11:00 a.m. to Noon – Ceremony, War Memorial Building, 12650 Lindo Lane, Lakeside, CA (Contact Steven Williams, VFW Post 5867 – 619-922-0330) • Point Loma – 8:45 a.m., Day of Remembrance Ceremony, Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery, 1800 Cabrillo Memorial Drive, Point Loma, CA (Contact: 619-553-2084, ext. 4000). • Ramona – 10:00 a.m. – Ceremony, Sponsored by VFW, Nuevo Memory Gardens, 532 Ash St., Ramona, CA (Contact: 760-789-7888). • Rancho Bernardo – 10:45 a.m. – Flag ceremony hosted by Rancho
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This survey could win you a $100! It’s time to take the 2015 Military Lifestyle Survey and register to win one of ten $100 VISA gift cards. Feedback from military and veteran families help our nation, our neighbors, and our leaders understand the true cost of maintaining the strongest and most effective all volunteer force. Military families serve as the backbone of a strong and effective United States military. Your input on the issues facing service members, veterans and military family members helps Blue Star Families generate new programming and resources, and inform Congress and key decision makers on how best to address critical issues facing
military-affiliated family and friends.
Your opinion counts!
The 2015 Military Family Lifestyle survey, now in its sixth year, examines key trends within the military family community. The survey, and overall research project, helps identify and explore the issues that face those who serve in the military and their families. Conducted by Blue Star Families and the Institute for Veterans and Military Families (IVMF) at Syracuse University, the Military Family Lifestyle Survey: • Is intended for all active and veteran military service members and
their families, 18 years and older. • Is completely anonymous. No one is asked to provide and personally identifying information, and only aggregate (group) responses will be reported. • Is for research purposes and is therefore completely voluntary. Includes questions about deployment challenges, wellness, education, employment, military child education, financial challenges, health concerns, civic engagement, and public policy issues, among other topics. Takes about 30 minutes to complete (it may take longer depending on your responses). Visit www.bluestarfam.org to take the survey.
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The second Tuesday of every month, Tony the Vet holds two free sessions at the San Diego Veterans Museum and Memorial Center, 2115 Park Blvd., Balboa Park. From 2 to 4 p.m., children and families are invited to make cards for veterans and view a free puppet show. From 6 to 8 p.m., the museum hosts free creative art classes (literary, performing and visual arts) or veterans. These classes are facilitated by Tony LoBue, veteran, artist, and teacher of the creative arts, and will include guest artists and speakers. To register, contact Tony at 619-8062075 or email tony@tonythevet.org. FINANCIAL
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VA to debut one-stop benefit website
Veterans will soon be able to log in to just one Department of Veterans Affairs website to manage their benefits, apply for doctors’ appointments, and determine their eligibility for programs. The website will go live around May 20, but will first be open to around 50 veterans to help beta test the new portal. By the end of the year, all veterans will be able to use Veterans.gov to manage more than 350 benefit programs without having to switch websites, call multiple numbers or file large amounts of redundant paperwork. Once veterans register, the new website will automatically know their eligibility levels for different programs and will tailor their experience using that information. The website will also notify the veteran of various programs they are eligible for but are not using.For more on veteran benefits, visit www.military.com/ benefits.
Careers for vets at Farmers
Farmers Insurance® is one of America’s best known and most respected organizations. With career opportunities in claims, customer service and more, we offer professional growth and great benefits in a culture that supports and values achievement. We are strongly committed to providing a wide variety of job opportunities to transitioning, retired and wounded veterans, as well as military spouses. It’s our way of showing support for the contributions military families make in service to America. For more information, visit www.military.com/veteran-employers/farmers-insurance.
TRICARE scam warning
In March and April, TRICARE received growing numbers of reports from beneficiaries that they have been the target of unsolicited marketing efforts trying to collect personal information and send them unwanted prescriptions, which are then billed at great cost to the TRICARE. TRICARE recommends that beneficiaries contact in this manner do not provide any personal information, and report the activity to Express Scripts at 1-866-7596139 orTRICAREfraudtip@expressscripts.com.
New website addresses spiritual needs of military
PioneerMilitaryLoans.com | 1-800-FOR-LOAN ©2015 Pioneer Services. All loan applications are confidential and subject to our credit policies. If you are approved for additional funds, we will consolidate any existing loan balance together with the additional funds so that you will only have one loan. The loan origination fee is calculated as a percentage of your loan amount. No official U.S. military endorsement is implied. MidCountry Bank is a member FDIC. FY15-LPO-006-08
6 May 15, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
News briefs...
The national nonprofit organization, HealthCare Chaplaincy Network (HCCN) — that traditionally provides spiritual support services NEWS BRIEFS, cont’d. on Page 18
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SPECIALS Lt. Col. Christine Mau, the 33rd Operations Group deputy commander, puts on her helmet before taking her first flight in the F-35A Lightning II at Eglin Air Force Base, Fla., May 5, 2015. Mau, who previously flew F-15E Strike Eagles, made history as the first female F-35 pilot in the program. (U.S. Air Force photo/Staff Sgt. Marleah Robertson)
First female F-35 pilot begins training By 1st Lt. Hope Cronin, 33rd Fighter Wing Public Affairs EGLIN AIR FORCE BASE, Fla. -The Department of Defense welcomed its first female F-35 Lightning II pilot here May 5. Lt. Col. Christine Mau, the 33rd Fighter Wing Operations Group deputy commander, completed her first training flight in the single-seat fifthgeneration fighter following 14 virtual training missions in the full mission simulator at the F-35 Academic Training Center. “It wasn’t until I was taxiing to the runway that it really struck me that I was on my own in the jet,” said Mau, formerly an F-15E Strike Eagle pilot. “I had a chase aircraft, but there was no weapons system officer or instructor pilot sitting behind me, and no one in my ear like in simulators.” And with that, like the other 87 F-35A pilots trained over the last four years, Mau thundered down the runway
and was airborne as the first woman in the Air Force’s premier fighter. “It felt great to get airborne. The jet flies like a dream, and seeing the systems interact is impressive. Flying with the Helmet Mounted Display (System) takes some adjusting, but it’s an easy adjustment,” Mau said. “The training missions in the simulator prepare you very well, so you’re ready for that flight.” The initial flight in the F-35 training syllabus is designed to orient pilots with the physical aspects of flying the F-35 compared to other fighters they’ve flown previously, such as the F-15E Strike Eagle, F-15C Eagle, F-16 Falcon, A-10 Warthog or F-22 Raptor. Women have served in combat aviation roles in those and other aircraft for more than 20 years. Mau acknowledged that although she may be the first female in the F-35 program, her gender has no bearing on PILOT, cont’d. on Page 16
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Star Wars 7: The biggest spoiler yet By Sean O’Connell CinemaBlend.com The Star Wars fan site Making Star Wars has tracked every step of the production process on J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The site has broken a large number of spoilery facts, leaning on sources close to the production. They admit that many need to be taken with a grain of salt, but over time, several of the “rumors” they have reported have been revealed as fact (or, as close to fact as we can actually get before seeing the actual movie in December). The latest one that they dropped, though… it’s massive. You might not want to hear this. For real, turn around now if you do NOT want to read something very spoilery about Star Wars: The Force Awakens, whether it is true or not. HOUSING
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Are you ready? Many of us have heard that Han Solo (Harrison Ford) will die in J.J. Abrams’ Star Wars: The Force Awakens. For starters, Ford famously begged George Lucas to kill the character off during the original trilogy, but was told Han had to stick around to complete his arc with Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher). Well, from what we hear, the nerfherder finally is going to get his way. Making Star Warsreports that Han Solo will be killed in The Force Awakens, and elaborates to say that the character of Kylo Renn (presumably played by Adam Driver) will be the one who murders the classic movie hero. They even have details about how it will happen, saying that the scene takes place “on the ramparts of The Evil Castle,” and that Han is in the scene with Chewbacca, Finn, Rey and the rolling robot, BB-8. Solo allegedly confronts Renn in an attempt to buy time for the others to escape. In this way, the site notes that it’s reminiscent of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s death in Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope. If Abrams truly kills of Han Solo, that is a ballsy decision that could enrage the Star Wars community, unless it’s handled in an heroic, legendary fashion. The thing about Han Solo is that he’s an iconic character in this universe. But Harrison Ford is long past the days when he could leap around the galaxy like an action star, and bringing him back for Episodes 8 and 9 seems like it would have been a stretch. At the moment, this is a rumor, but it comes from a trusted site, and gels with things we have been hearing for a while. Do you believe it? And is it the right decision to make with this legendary character?
SALES CENTER HOURS: MONDAY 12PM - 5PM TUESDAY - SUNDAY 10AM - 5PM All information (including, but not limited to, prices, availability, floor plans, features and amenities) is not guaranteed and remains subject to change or delay without notice. Maps and plans are not to scale and all dimensions are approximate. Please see a Sales Associate for details and visit www.level15townhomes.com for additional disclaimers. ©April 2015, Zephyr Partners, Inc. All rights reserved.
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8 May 15, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
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Fox cancels ‘American Idol’ By Daniel Kreps RollingStone.com After one of the most dominant runs in television history, American Idol will not return after its 15th season this January, Fox announced Monday. Host Ryan Seacrest – the only on-screen tal-
of only 11 million viewers for their current 14th season. While that number would still make for a successful network sitcom, the costs and salaries that went intoIdol were prohibitively expensive to keep the show on-air (even though, as Billboard noted, the judges
ent that has been with the show since its 2002 debut – and the current judges’ table of Jennifer Lopez, Harry Connick Jr. and Keith Urban will be along for Idol’s last ride. Fox added that the singing competition series that unearthed Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry and Adam Lambert would stage a “season-long celebratory event” in its last season alongside their search for “the final Idol superstar.” Idol winners have combined for a total of 13 Grammys, led by Underwood’s seven. However, the series hasn’t discovered an award winner in nearly a decade. After the emergence of Clarkson and Underwood, the show hit its ratings peak in its fifth season in 2006 with a weekly average of 31.1 million viewers. However, ratings slowly declined in subsequent years after constant shakeups at the judges’ table – Paula Abdul’s exit shifted the show’s chemistry, as did Ellen DeGeneres’ one-season cameo – and an inability to luck upon another platinum-selling star (Remember Lee DeWyze?). The show’s true decline began in 2010, though, after its main antagonist Simon Cowell departed to join rival Fox singing competition The X Factor. Although that series lasted only three seasons in the U.S., Cowell never returned to Idol. The emergence of other music competition shows like The X Factor and NBC’s successful The Voice also oversaturated the market, leading to a downturn in Idol viewership. Although Idol found some stability in recent years with their Lopez/ Connick Jr./Urban panel, viewership continued to plummet, averaging a low
took a slight salary cut to return for Season 15). Idol’s required two-nights-a-week, three-hour hold on the schedule also handcuffed Fox from adding shows that could grow viewership instead of waiting for Idol to eventually bottom out. This past year, Fox found reliable audiences with scripted programs like Empire and Gotham, which further loosened their dependence on stalwart Idol. Despite its decline in recent years, Idol will be remembered for spawning dozens of copycats in the reality TV field as well as the talented singers it helped discover. HEALTH
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May 15, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 9
Telesco gets Gordon, then strengthens the defense
By Art Garcia When Tom Telesco noticed that six out of the seven “impact players” he and his front office had targeted were already selected by the 14th pick of the draft, he wasted little time making his move. Fearing the lone player he wanted would be selected before the Chargers picked at 17, Telesco traded that pick, along with their fourth-round pick in this year’s draft and their fifth-round pick
in next year’s draft to San Francisco for their first-round pick at No. 15. With the move the Chargers selected Wisconsin running back Melvin Gordon. Having lost Ryan Mathews to the Eagles through free agency, the Chargers filled that void by landing Gordon, who many considered one of top two running backs in the draft – the other being Georgia’s Todd Gurley. In days two and three in the draft, Telesco
CHARGERS REPORT
entrusted his scouting department and selected four players on defense whom many draft pundits liked, but felt he reached compared to some other players still available. Here’s a look at the Chargers 2015 draft class:
First Round; 15th overall pick: Melvin Gordon (RB) – 6-1/215, Wisconsin.
HOUSING
A redshirt junior, Gordon not only led the nation in rushing (2,587), he also topped the FBS (Football Bowl Subdivision – Formerly Division I-A) record books for career average yards per carry (7.8). In three-plus seasons as a Badger, Gordon finished his career ranked third in rushing yards (4,915) and total touchdowns (45). A runner up for the Heisman Trophy, Gordon was the recipient of the Doak Walker Award as the nation’s top running back. In a 59-24 victory over the Nebraska Cornhuskers last season, Gordon set the FBS single-game record with 408 yards along with four touchdowns while playing just three quarters.
Second Round; 48th overall selection: Denzel Perryman (ILB) – 5-11/236, Miami
Regarded as slightly undersized for an inside ‘backer in the NFL, Perryman is known as a ‘thumper’ for the punishing hits he put on opposing players during his four-year career. An AllAmerica and All-ACC pick for the Hurricanes, Perryman played four seasons and racked up 108 and 110 tackles, respectively, over the past two seasons. During his career, Perryman started 37of-47 games; finishing his career with 351 tackles; 27.0 tackles for loss; 4.5 sacks; seven forced fumbles; six passes defensed and 2 interceptions.
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Third Round; 83rd overall pick: Craig Mager (CB) – 5-11/190, Texas State
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A redshirt senior, Mager wasn’t ranked among the top 20 cornerbacks profiled by Hub Arkush’s Pro Football Now Draft publication; rather, he was listed among the Best-of-the-Rest section. A surprise pick in the third round, Mager’s performances at both the NFL Combine and East West Shrine Game elevated his status in the eyes of many scouts and put him on the radar as one of the players climbing up the boards prior to the draft. An All-Sun Belt and All-WAC player for the Bobcats, Mager finished his college career with 211 tackles; 9.5 tackles for loss; eight interceptions; 47 passes defensed and two sacks.
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This Corporate Logo Usage Guide sets forth the proper treatment of the three primary logos of The Corky McMillin organization shown here. This guide also covers how various color and black-and-white versions of each logo are to be used.
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SummerlyHomes.com Strict adherence to these rules of usage is required to maintain the integrity and continuity of the McMillin brand image. All McMillin employees, associates and outside vendors MUST adhere to these guidelines without exception. To receive an electronic version of
any McMillin logo, or if you have a Summerly, LLC reserves the right to make any changes necessary. Prices, terms and availability are subject to change without notice. Square footages question regarding correct usage, please contact: are approximate. Model does not reflect racial preference. Renderings are artist’s conception. CalBRE #018944 McMillin Homes Construction, Inc. Liz Ramirez 619-794-1423 lramirez@mcmillin.com
10MC597315 May 15, 2015 THEAd MILITARY PRESS Summerly | Military Press Magazine | 7.02” x 8.44” | 5/15
A special commemorative logo was created to be used only during this 50th anniversary year of the McMillin organization. After November 30, 2011, this “50 Years” logo should not be used for any advertising or promotional communications.
Fifth Round: 153rd overall: Kyle Emanuel (DE/OLB) – 6-3/246, North Dakota State.
A red shirt senior, Emanuel was the winner of the 2014 Buck Buchanan CHARGERS, cont’d. on Page 17
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May 15, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 11
Dwight D. Eisenhower 34th President of the U.S. Served from Jan. 20, 1953 to Jan. 20, 1961
“We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.” — Eisenhower
Richard Nixon 36th Vice President of the U.S. Served from Jan. 20, 1953 to Jan. 20, 1961 World events
• The cold war is in full swing with Nikita Khrushchev banging his shoe on the table at the UN telling us he would bury us. • The Berlin Wall is under construction and the Soviet Union was ahead in the Space Race. • Fidel Castro confiscates $770 million of U.S. property • The sexual revolution of the Sixties begins with women using birth control pills and the first Playboy Club opening in Chicago.
• 900 U.S. military advisers are sent to Vietnam. • Israelis Kidnap Adolf Eichmann from Argentina to Jerusalem • Communist China and Soviet Union split in conflict over Communist ideology. • Capt. Gary Powers U-2 Spy Plane Shot Down Over Russia
U.S. News
• John F Kennedy wins presidential Election. • Norman Rockwell’s famous painting of six year old Ruby Bridges suffering a hail of racial epitaphs and tomatoes as she integrated the first school in New Orleans. • Norman Rockwell’s famous painting of six
U.S. Troops land in Vietnam
year old Ruby Bridges suffering a hail of racial epitaphs and tomatoes as she integrated the first school in New Orleans. • The United States announces that 3,500 American soldiers are going to be sent to Vietnam • In Louisville, Kentucky, Cassius Clay (who later took the name Muhammad Ali) wins his first professional fight after having won the Gold Medal in Rome in the Olympic games • The United States launches the world’s first nuclear powered Aircraft Carrier the USS Enterprise.
Technology 1960
• France tests its first atomic bomb in Sahara and joins US, UK and USSR as Nuclear Power • Over one hundred million television sets in use worldwide. • Aluminum Cans used for the first time
1960 Chevy Impala 12 May 15, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
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remember when...
0 6 19
1960 Chevrolet Corvette
AVERAGE COST OF LIVING
BORN THIS YEAR: Julianne Moore, actress. Above left: James Spader, Actor; Jennifer Grey, actress; Hugo Weaving, actor; Darryl Hannah, actress.
• The MOT Test is introduced in Britain • US Experimental rocket powered airplane travels at 2,200 MPH • Xerox introduces the first Commer-
cial Document reproduction Machine • The United States launches the first weather satellite, TIROS-1. • Dr Kazuo Hashimoto Invents the Ansafone sold in the USA as a Automatic Telephone Answering Machine
• Income per year ........ $5,315 • Minimum wage ............ $5.15 • New house ............. $12,700 • Monthly rent ..................... $88 • New car ..................... $2,600 • Gallon of gas ................... 25¢ • Dozen eggs ..................... 57¢ • Gallon of milk .................. 49¢ • Loaf of bread ................... 20¢ • First-class stamp ............... 4¢ • Movie ticket .................. $1.00
Movies
• The 3rd Voice • Five Branded Women • 13 Ghosts • The Adventurs of Huckleberry Finn • The Alamo • All Yough Men
Music
• Elvis Presley, “It’s Now or Never” • Ray Charles, “Georgia on my Mind • Percy Faith, “A Summer Place”
1960 Ferrari 250 GT For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
May 15, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS 13
Winning!
A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word “Timbuktu.” It is city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration: “I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... “ The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his
Just for Laughs HEALTH
winning masterpiece: “When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three women cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... “
Hunger pangs
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?” She replied, “I’m having a baby.” With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?” She said, “He sure is.” Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?” She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.” With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked... “Then why did you eat him?
First things first
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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the 85-yearold man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained. “Well, doc, it’s like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the EDUCATION
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teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.” The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?” The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.
Devil’s in the details
An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about s*x?” he asked, rather tentatively. “I would like it infrequently,” she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, “Is that one word or two?”
How to have a great weekend
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, “I don’t think you understand, I want something very special.” At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” the jeweler said. The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, “We’ll take it.” The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check. “I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,” he said. Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. “There’s no money in that account.” “I know,” said the old man, “but can you imagine the weekend I had?”
Five important qualities
1. It’s important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It’s important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It’s important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn’t lie to you. 4. It’s important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other
Visit us online at MilitaryPress.com www.SpringsCharterSchools.org Parent Support 877.438.4451 14 May 15, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
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Cont’d. from Page 7 her performance as a fighter pilot. She joked that the only difference between her and her fellow F-35 pilots is the size of her G-suit and facemask -- they are both extra small. “Flying is a great equalizer,” Mau said. “The plane doesn’t know or care about your gender as a pilot, nor do the ground troops who need your support. You just have to perform. That’s all anyone cares about when you’re up there -- that you can do your job, and that you
do it exceptionally well.” Mau’s combat experience and technical prowess in the cockpit were the primary draws for her selection to her position with the 33rd OG.
CHARGERS
Cont’d. from Page 10 Award as the top defensive player in the FCS (Football Championship Subdivision – Formerly Division I-AA). For his career, Emanuel tied the NDSU record with 41 sacks; 234 tackles; 58.5 tackles for loss (32.5 as a senior); 35.5
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In his three years as GM, Telesco has completed three draft-day trades. In 2013 he traded the Chargers’ fourthround pick that year to the Arizona Cardinals to move up seven spots in the second round to draft Notre Dame inside linebacker Manti Te’o with the 38th overall pick. Last season Telesco
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sent the Chargers’ second (No. 57) and fourth-round (No. 125) picks to the Dolphins to move up seven spots in the second round to select Georgia Tech outside linebacker Jerry Attaochu (No. 50) overall. One of the more intriguing players Telesco selected was Craig Mager. Most of the NFL pundits graded Mager a fourth-round pick at the earliest; however, the NFL Network’s Daniel Jeremiah liked the pick. “This is a player you were starting to hear about late in the process, a small school player who has some measurables that you are looking for,” Jeremiah said. “(He) has big-time make up speed when you study him on tape … now he is raw as raw can be, he’s going to need some time before he’s ready to get on the football field. But you see the toughness right here (on game film) and you’ll see some splash plays when you watch three or four games … You see him blitz off the slot and he’s very physical, very aggressive and he can run – those are a lot of good qualities to work with. Some technical stuff down the field is where he’ll need some time and some work; but they’re definitely betting on the upside in San Diego.”
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Bernardo Veterans Memorial Association, with the Camp Pendleton Honor Guard, Webb Park, on Avena Place off Bernardo Center Drive, Rancho Bernardo, CA (Contact: 858-674-1711). • San Diego – 7:30 a.m. – Remembrance Ceremony, Balboa Park, 1549 El Prado, San Diego, CA. • San Diego – 1:00 p.m. - Ceremony, El Camino Memorial Park, 5600 Carroll Canyon Road, San Diego, CA (Contact: 800-352-2646). • San Diego – 8:00 a.m. to Dusk – San Diego Veterans for Peace, Hugh Thompson Memorial Chapter, will host an Arlington West Memorial at the USS Midway Museum Lawn at Broadway and Harbor Drive. The public is invited to assist with the placement of religious symbols and candles. Names of the fallen in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars will be read. (Contact 858342-1964). • San Diego – 7:30 – 10:00 a.m., Ceremony, The Veterans Museum and Memorial Center, Balboa Park, 2115 Park Blvd, San Diego, CA (Contact: 619-2392300 or 619-239-5977). For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
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Call Michelle @ 858-537-2280 NEWS BRIEFS Cont’d. from Page 6
in hospitals and other health care settings — unveiled a new veterans’ resource three months ago that specifically provides spiritual and emotional support for these folk. The new www.ChaplainCareforVeterans.org or 844-CARE4VETS (844227-3483), provides free and confidential information and resources and one-to-one counseling to veterans, active service members, and their families in the face of distress. Its central feature is Chat with a Chaplain, which allows individuals to connect with a professionally-trained, multi-faith chaplain 24/7 via phone, email or video call — “whoever they are, whatever they believe, wherever they are.” The Health Care Chaplaincy Net-
work (HCCN) is a non-denominational, national nonprofit that is a renowned leader in service, research and education related to spiritual care and professional chaplaincy.
22 years later, Cesar Chavez to get Navy honors
(NEWSER) – Civil rights and labor leader Cesar Chavez is going to be honored for a different kind of service. Today, the 22nd anniversary of his death, Chavez will get full graveside honors from the U.S. Navy at his memorial in California. The idea for the ceremony came from a current Navy sailor who learned Chavez did not receive the honors at the time of his death, according to the Cesar Chavez Foundation. The foundation is hosting the ceremony, along with the National Park Service, which operates Chavez’s memorial.
18 May 15, 2015 THE MILITARY PRESS
Current sailors, veterans, and Chavez relatives are expected to attend the formal ceremony that will include a Navy bugler playing “Taps,” a rifle salute, and a folding of a U.S. flag that will be presented to Chavez’s widow. Organizers say the honors are an opportunity to show the public that Chavez, not known for his time in the military, served in the Navy just after World War II, and it helped him become the fighter and organizer he would later be known for. “Cesar en-
dured discrimination in the Navy and at home during the ’40s,” the foundation said. “Cesar belonged to a generation of Latinos and other people of color who returned home from ... World War II determined to see that the country for which they sacrificed fulfilled its promise of equality and freedom. That motivated him to work for civil and labor rights starting in the early ‘50s.” The ceremony isn’t the only Navy honor for Chavez. In 2012 it launched a cargo ship named the USNS Cesar Chavez.
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