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Firstly, on a positive note . . .

Is the world going to end in 2012? ! se distress u a c y a m g article The followintely unwarranted fear. and comple cretion is advised.

Parental dis

These are 11 of the most researched 2012 predictions that can be found on the internet.

The Mayans had a very unique understanding of our solar system’s cycles. The most significant of which has much to do with the 2012 prophecies. The Mayans predicted that from 1999 we have 13 years to realize the changes in our conscious attitude and stray away from the path of self-destruction. We must move unto a path that opens our consciousness to integrate with all that exists. Their prophecy talks about ‘The Time of No-Time’ which is a period of 20 years. The last 20 years of the Sun’s cycle of 5,125 years is from 1992 - 2012. continues on page 4 >>>

The Military Press January 1, 2012

Publisher Richard T. Matz Editor / Design Trevor Watson Customer Service Manager Carol Williams Advertising Manager Valerie Swaine Sales Director - Multimedia Mike Miller Account Representatives: Michelle Hull, James Wyatt, Ashley Henson Public Relations Lisa Matz Production / Web Manager Sandra Powers Graphic Design / Web Joe Yang Distribution Chelsea Provatas Ernest Moralez

remember when

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1971 continues on page 24 >>>

The L.A. Clippers have only posted two winning records since their move to Los Angeles in 1984, and in neither one of these seasons did they see the second round of the playoffs. Since their last playoff berth, the Clippers have done some respectable wheeling and dealing (Lamar Odom, Elton Brand, Sam Cassell, Corey Maggette, etc.), but all of their transactions have been made in an attempt to find a player to build a franchise around. As good as some of the aforementioned players are, they have all found their own in a more Robinesque roll as the second (or third/fourth ... sorry, Lamar) best player on their respected teams.

continues on page 16 >>>

January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS 3

Cover Feature Continued from page 1

Is the world going to end in 2012?

According to some astronomers, on 2012 our solar system will cross with the Galactic Equator which only happens every 26,000 years. Since the Mayan calendar began in 3114 BC, they had never experienced anything like this before thus giving more credibility to their 2012 predictions.

The Mayan Long Count calendar says the current age of mankind began on a day of destructive Earth movement and it will end on a day of destructive Earth movement. This day of movement could mean horrible earthquakes. It could also be translated to the missing planet Nibiru slamming into our planet.

Hopi prophecy and the Blue Star Kachina returning “The end of all Hopi ceremonialism will come when a “Kachina” removes his mask during a dance in the plaza before uninitiated children [the general public]. For a while there will be no more ceremonies, no more faith.

Then Oraibi will be rejuvenated with its faith and ceremonies, marking the start of a new cycle of Hopi life.”

(Hopi prophecy is a religion, Kachina is a masked dancer during a Pueblo religious ceremony who is thought to embody some particular spirit, Oraibi is a Hopi Village in Navajo County).

The Planet X or Nibiru Another prediction is about the Planet X or Nibiru. It’s a planet that orbits our sun every 3600 years. It got its name from being an elusive planet. The first real pictures of Planet X were photographed shortly after January 26, 1983. Predictions for 2012, astronomers calculated that Planet X was over 50 million miles away from us at that time. In 2004 Planet X was determined to be only 7 million miles away. It’s moving closer. Confirmation of the tenth planet “Planet X” was photographed in Japan on February 28, 2008. Planet X exists, and it will be here by the end of 2012. Planet X will appear as two suns in the sky to us, no later than 2011.

These 2012 predictions means that World War III will start in the old countries like India, China, Islamic Nations and Africa. The United States will be destroyed by atomic bombs and radioactivity.

That time is not far off. It is represented by a blue star, far off yet visible.

The Hopi name for the blue star Sirius is Blue Star Kachina. Sirius is the brightest star in the night sky near Orion’s Belt and Planet Mars.

and Inca prophecies WhenAztec “That will The Aztec 2012 predictions says on the winter solstice of 2012, neverthat happen the noonday Sun exactly conjuncts the crossing point of the sun’s ecliptic with the galactic plane, while also to me” happens.

When “That will closely conjuncting the exact center of never happen I’m ready to help.

There’s never a good time for an accident to happen. to me” happens.

When “that will never But when it does, you can count on me to be there

the galaxy. This means that our solar system appears to belong to another galaxy that is colliding with the Milky Way. Putting it all together, it implies the 2011-2012 events are natural cycles of maximum solar explosions which could scorch all or parts of the earth.

The Sybils Doomsday predictions Sybil is a young girl that the mathematician Pythagoras trained to be a channel between himself as the seeker, and the God Apollo. Sybil became a priestess of Pythia (channel or voice of God). Some Sybilla prophecies were recorded on parchment and passed from generation to generation. The most talked about Sybil Prophecy of this age is the prophecy which men-

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Revelations in the Bible for the end of days The Book of Revelation is filled with strange and awesome imagery that is interpreted by many in different ways. The amazing symbolism runs throughout the rest of the book Continues on page 6

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tions 9 periods of 800 years. The age after the ninth period is filled with doom and gloom.

Sybil’s 2012 predictions: “The things in the tenth generation shall come to pass. The Earth shall be shaken by a great earthquake that throws many cities into the sea. There shall be war. Fire shall come flashing down from the heavens and many cities burn. Black ashes shall fill the great sky. Then know the Anger of the Gods.”

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IGNORED

Many of our true heroes get ignored by the media for trivial rubbish such as Kardashian’s 72-day sham marriage Your unit is outnumbered 8-1 and the enemy fire is so intense from 100 yards away, that your CO (commanding officer) has ordered the MedEvac helicopters to stop coming in.

You’re lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns and you know you’re not getting out.

Your family is half way around the

Medal of Honor Winner Captain Ed Freeman world, 12,000 miles away, and you’ll never see them again.

As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day.

Then - over the machine gun noise - you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter.

You look up to see a Huey coming in. But.. It doesn’t seem real because

no MedEvac markings are on it.

Captain Ed Freeman is coming in for you.

He’s not MedEvac so it’s not his job, but he heard the radio call and decided he’s flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire anyway.

Even after the MedEvacs were ordered not to come. He’s coming anyway.

And he drops it in and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 3 of you at a time on board.

Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire to the doctors and nurses and safety.

And, he kept coming back!! 13 more times!!

Until all the wounded were out. No one knew until the mission was over that the Captain had been hit 4 times in the legs and left arm.

He took 29 of you and your buddies out that day. Some would not have made it without the Captain and his Huey.

Medal of Honor Recipient, Captain Ed Freeman, United States Air Force, died last Wednesday at the age of 70, in Boise, Idaho May God Bless and Rest His Soul.

I bet you didn’t hear about this hero’s passing, but we’ve sure heard a whole bunch about Lindsay Lohan, Dr. Murray, that sicko Sandusky, and a 72- day sham marriage.

Shame on the media !!!

We welcome your comments, critique and opinions.

Send to: trevor@militarypress.com. Please give name and phone number for verification purposes only.

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January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS 5

Cover Feature Continued from page 5 and of course it is highly debatable as to what is to be taken literally or symbolically. The Book says that judgements are released upon the earth in the form of seven trumpets, two witnesses, a dragon (the devil), the beast (the antichrist), the false prophet and the seven golden bowls. The judgements passed on to the Earth and its inhabitants include: • Plague • Earthquakes • Hailstorms • Fire • Famine • Meteor storm • Lack of drinking water Eventually the prophecy leads up to the antichrist assuming world domination with his false prophet overseeing the one-world religion. The antichrist is prophesied to rule the world for a period of time until the battle of Armageddon.

The prophecies of Merlin and Mother Shipton The conclusion of Merlin’s Prophecies recalls the Book of Revelations in its apocalyptic vision and seems to open itself to astrological interpretation.

“The tail of Scorpio shall produce lightning and Cancer quarrel with the Sun. Virgo shall mount upon the back of Sagittarius and darken her virgin flowers.

The chariot of the Moon shall disorder the zodiac and the Pleiades break forth into weeping. No offices of Janus shall hereafter return, but his gate being shut shall lie hid in the chinks of Ariadne.

The seas shall rise up in the twinkling of an eye and the dust of the ancients shall be restored. The winds shall fight together with a dreadful blast and their sound shall reach the stars. “ It suggests that these words refer to cataclysmic weather conditions and that the vision will culminate in the 21st century, including it as one of the 2012 predictions. Disturbingly, this chimes perfectly with the predictions of some scientists on the effects of global warming.

The Planet X or Nibiru Another prediction is about the Planet X or Nibiru.

It’s a planet that orbits our sun every 3600 years. It got its name from being an elusive planet. The first real pictures of Planet X were photographed shortly after January 26, 1983. Predictions for 2012, astronomers calculated that Planet X was over 50 million miles away from us at that time. In 2004 Planet X was determined to be only 7 million miles away. It’s moving closer. Confirmation of the tenth planet “Planet X” was photographed in Japan on February 28, 2008. Planet X exists, and it will be here by the end of 2012. Planet X will appear as two suns in the sky to us, no later than 2011.

The Web Bot predictions The Web Bot Project, developed in the late 1990’s has predictions for 2012. It was created to assist in making stock market predictions. The technology uses a system of spiders to crawl the internet and search for keywords, much like a search engine does. When a keyword is located, the bot program takes a snapshot of the text preceding and following the keyword. This snapshot of text is sent to a central location where it is then filtered to define meaning.

One of the first accurate predictions from the bot program took place in June of 2001. Before they found pridictions for 2012, the program predicted that a life altering event would take place within the next 60-90 days, an occurrence of such proportion that it’s effects would be felt worldwide. The program based its prediction on “web chatter” which ultimately represents the collective unconscious of society.

Regrettably, the bot program’s prediction proved accurate and the Twin Towers fell on 9/11/2001.

Here’s where it starts to become very interesting. The bot program also predicts a worldwide calamity taking place in the year 2012.

The Nephilim When man began to increase in numbers on the earth and daughters born to them, the sons of God – the Nephilim – saw that the daughters of men are beautiful, and they married anyone they chose. Predictions for 2012 wasn’t actually written in the Bible, but the Bible does have predictions about the end of days. The Lord was angered and said He will not contend with man forever as he is mortal. The Nephilim were on earth those days and had children with daughters of men. The Lord saw man’s wickedness on earth and he grieved. With grief, he said “I will wipe mankind whom I have created from the face of the earth including animals and creatures that move along the ground and birds of the air – for I am grieved that I have made them.”

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Probably the most intriguing, puzzling and perplexing aspect of predictions for 2012 is that it includes UFO sightings. Reports describe them as humanoid or even human-like. Their behavior is usually described as elusive and evasive. Contrary to the popular belief that sightings of UFO-beings are extremely rare, researchers have compiled a long list of such cases - over 1600 different entity incidents.

There are two prominent descriptions of sighted alien beings knowns as: 1. Short Non-Greys - are “child-like” of exceedingly slight build, 0.9-1.2m (34ft) tall. Fair complexioned, pale white skin. Proportionally large, bald head, no

eyebrows, no eyelashes. They have larger eyes, described as protruding or bulging often reported as dark, with large brown irises, with very little of the white part of the eye showing. They have very small nose, tiny lipless mouth, face with high forehead, wide at eye level that thins abruptly at chin. Some think the Greys communicated with the Mayans and taught them about astronomy and predictions for 2012.

Nostradamus’ Lost Book and 2012 “In the year 1999 and seven months The Great, King of Terror shall come from the sky. He will bring to life the King of The Mongols. Before and after, Mars reigns happily.”

Many Scholars of Nostradamus believes that the “Great, King of Terror from the sky” was a quote about predictions for 2012 “Doomsday” Comet. This is because Nostradamus has several predictions of a comet or planet that will impact or pass near earth and trigger global destruction. Nostradamus sees the Comet Planet visible to earth for seven days. Many believe that he speaks of the Comet Planet Nibiru. It is predicted that it will bring destruction upon Britain, Rome and The Vatican which will trigger World War III. Nostradamus also spoke of tidal waves as high as Mount Olympus that will hit Greece or near it. As this mountain is close to 10,000 ft high, we are looking at a massive tidal wave. Nostradamus sets a time frame around 2012 AD. This is the most positive school of thought. The predictions for 2012 behind this is that after December 2012, human consciousness will shift and we will all become more enlightened. December 2012 predictions and the coming of it are nothing to fear, but instead should be embraced.

The Christ Energy known in the spiritual realms as the Photon Belt Energy has entered the Earth’s atmosphere and each year it has moved closer and closer.

It is causing a speeding up of time - a time warp - as each year feels like it gets faster and faster. The Photon Belt Christ Energy reached its peak here on Earth in the year 2002 and will remain here at its peak until the year 2012. During the year 2012, the many thousands of Ascended Spiritual Masters (that include Jesus, Mohammed, Gautama the Buddha, and Mother Mary) will send down the full download of the Christ Energy to Earth to change the DNA structure of all mankind to hold a greater spiritual vibrational energy of love and light.

The Photon Belt Christ Energy - as part of this cleansing process of the Earth planet - is causing all the negative energy within people (repressed feelings of anger, hate, emotional pain, sadness, etc.) accumulated over many lifetimes, to come to the surface. But why? It is doing this to give people the opportunity to seek counseling and other forms of emotional release therapy healing, so they can remove these negative feelings and be ready to receive the main download of the Christ Energy in the year 2012.

The Earth is being forced to evolve from a war-like planet to a more loving peaceful planet. This is known as planetary ascension. It is also what is referred to in the Bible as the Rapture. Only souls who are peaceful and loving will be able to re-incarnate to the Earth plane for their future incarnations. Those souls who remain negative and warlike, will be cleansed from the Earth plane through natural disasters, suicide, and chronic illness. These souls will be forced to re-incarnate onto other war-like planets in their future lives. There are many things you can do to prepare yourself for this coming of the new age.

This is a chance to go back in time and experience what the Mayan ancestors had seen what will occur in 2012. We now know that something will occur in the months before this vital date, and it is up to everybody to be prepared and survive. There’s light at the end of the tunnel that doesn’t end in a catastrophe. But it’s up to you to become a part of that story line.

This article is from: www.2012prophecys.com Visit them for much more on this topic.

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Snoops & blogs from our readers

NEW MICHIGAN RESIDENTS

I actually called the Michigan Dept. of Human Services, but got a busy signal. However, I went to the website for them in the address below and sure enough, on the right side of the page, there is an application for food assistance PDF file in English, Spanish and Arabic! I opened the file to see for myself and it’s there alright. Have we gone completely

nuts!!?...

Muslim men are allowed to have as many as 4 wives. Many Muslims have immigrated into the U.S. and brought their 2-3-or 4 wives with them, but the U.S. does not allow multi marriages, so the man lists one wife as his, and signs the other 2 or 3 up as extended family on welfare and other free Govern-

8 January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS

ment programs!

Michigan has the highest population of Muslims in the Unites States. When President Obama took office the United States paid several millions of dollars to have a large number of Palestinians, (All Muslim), immigrated here from Palestine. Why? I have no idea, do you! We don’t pay for other persons to immigrate here, and I’m sure that some of those Muslims moved into Michigan with the large current number of Muslims already established there.

So now in Michigan when you call the Public Assistance office you are told to “Press 1 for English. Press 2 for Spanish, or Press 3 for Arabic”! Here is the number 1-888-678-8914.

Every time you add a new language to an American program it requires an additional number of persons fluent in that language to process those persons who refuse to learn English in order to live here at an additional cost to the taxpayer! Why are we even allowing persons to immigrate here who cannot provide for themselves, and putting them in our welfare system?

Press 3 for Arabic. This is quite alarming!!! This seems to have happened clandestinely, for, as far as I know, no public announcement, or opportunity to vote on this was offered to the American people. They’re just adopting an official stance, and very likely using tax-payer money for it, in various capacities, without public knowledge or approval.

The following link takes you into the State of Michigan Public Assistance page, (as in Food Stamps etc). You won’t have to scroll far before you see the assistance-letters options for...(get this).....

English, Spanish, and ARABIC !!!

When did the ARABIC option sneak into our culture? Will we soon have to listen to our governmental offices, stores, and other venues offer us the option of “pressing 3 for ARABIC?” Check it out for yourself. http://www.michigan.gov/dhs/0,1607,7-124-5453_5527---,00.html The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the various authors and forum participants in this publication do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the Military Press. We invite you into a discourse, and would like to hear your thoughts. rmatz@militarypress.com & trevor@militarypress.com

Snoops & blogs from our readers

If you like the way things are in America don’t read this.

This letter is a purported to have been written to Alan Simpson by Patty Myers from Montana. Although this is from an uncredited source, we certainly find the message an important one. What do you think? We’d like to hear your thoughts.

Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming , Co-Chair of Obama’s deficit commission, calls senior citizens the Greediest Generation as he compared “Social Security” to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats Here’s a response in a letter from PATTY MYERS in Montana ... I think she is a little ticked off! She also tells it like it is!

“Hey Alan, let’s get a few things straight..

1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS. 2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63).

3. My Social Security payments, and those of millions other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would have made Bernie Madoff proud..

4. Recently, just like Lucy &Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to age 67.

NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN. 5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the bills.

6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why? Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay off YOUR debt.

To add insult to injury, you label us “greedy” for calling you on your incompetence. Well, Captain Incompetent I have a few questions for YOU.

tion proposal, or, as usual, have you exempted yourself and your political cronies?

It is you, Captain Incompetent, and your political co-conspirators called

Congress who are the “greedy” ones.

It is you and your fellow nutcases who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers. And for what? Votes. That’s right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for

the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers. You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.

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Health & Fitness

Some of the worst health trends of 2011 Pizza is Now Healthy

Everyone should add more vegetables to their diet. They’re healthy, keep you full, and offer micronutrients that offer endless health benefits.

And while it’s rare that I’ll ever argue against eating any vegetable (I consider them free foods and eat them in large quantities), The U.S. Congress declared in November that frozen pizza qualifies as a vegetable. The reason had nothing to do with nutrition: It was a financial decision that related to foods in schools (and an attempt to avoid upsetting food companies).

Nevertheless, I wanted to take this chance to clarify the subject: Pizza is not a vegetable. It tastes good, but it’s not a vegetable. Let’s move on.

From LiveStrong.com Right now 35 percent of all adults are obese and 62 percent are overweight. And as I’ve mentioned before, the future doesn’t look so good, either.

Recent estimates show that by the year, 2020 80 percent of the country will be obese.

The simple answer: Eat better and exercise more.

The real answer: Remove the misleading ideas and increase awareness about the bad habits that make it harder for you to be healthy. With that in mind, we’ve put together a guide of the worst trends of 2011. Avoiding these mistakes will give you a better chance of improving your health in 2012.

Fat Makes You Fat

Lack of Sleep

Just three consecutive nights of bad sleep can increase insulin resistance, says researchers. Translation: you’re more likely to store fat.

People who sleep less than six hours

per night also eat an ADDITIONAL 220 calories per day.

Sleeping less alters your hormones, forcing you to experience great and

more intense feelings of hunger.

See the trend? Sleep might be the most under-rated aspect of living a healthy life. And that’s exactly why we should all make it a bigger priority in the upcoming year. No excuses.

The “Best” Diets

Diets are nothing new. Every year it seems like there’s a new “fat loss” breakthrough that will help everyone finally reach their goals—and 2011 was no exception. But this past year saw a rise in diets that highlighted the most unsuspecting of suggestions.

Among the specialty diets: The HCG Diet (which features human placenta), The Cookie Diet (cookies that include meat protein—yes, meat protein), The Dukan Diet (no carbs and a limit on vegetables) and the Donut Diet (scones and croissants sold separately).

If it seems too good to be true (all snacks all the time) or too odd (no veggies) to be healthy it probably is.

I’ve been trying to fight this debate for the last 10 years, but the issue persists. Whether it’s the virtue of eating whole eggs or enjoying the fat in steaks and nut butter, people still have a hard time believing that fat doesn’t make them fat.

Drowning in Calories

I was shocked when I found out that the average American drinks 550 cans of soda per year. That needs to stop NOW!

The Shake Weight Need I say more?

Snack Attack

A recent analysis found that the average snack is 580 calories. While I now prefer eating three large meals per day, I have no problem with the grazing method and eating four to six smaller meals per day. But if you choose that option make sure your snacks are really snacks, and not just well disguised meals.

Power Balance

These bracelets seemed like a hoax waiting to happen. And sure enough, it was. The makers of the bracelet, which was supposed to help balance and athletic performance, admitted earlier this year that there was no scientific evidence to back their claims.

Unfortunately, that didn’t stop more than 2.5 million people from buying the piece of rubber. I guess Shake Weight owners are in good company.

Toning Shoes

If I told you that simply wearing shoes would give you the body you desired, would you believe me? My guess is no. But that didn’t stop millions of people from buying several varieties of “toning” shoes. The situation became so egregious that Reebok had to pay $25 million to settle a FTC lawsuit that the marketing claims didn’t transform people’s bodies as advertised.

If you want to get back in shape (or in better shape), the same principles still apply: Exercise and eat well.

There are many ways to achieve these goals, but there’s no use trying to beat the system.

10 January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS

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Military News

Happy New Year: let’s make it a good one!

By Crystal Arriaga What does January 1 mean to you?

Does it spark images of kissing slowly and passionately with someone you love? Do you want to listen to the 1,000,000 greatest hits of 2011 with Dick Clark or plan new resolutions about weight loss, financial savings or just trust in the lucky collard greens and black-eyed peas while watching football?

New Years is the occasion where almost everyone in the world is united in thoughts of looking forward to new adventures on a clean slate. The parties, parades and fireworks are lovely, the New Year’s eve ball dropping in NYC is timeless, yet on January 2 it’s all a memory and you find yourself imagining what the New Year could bring.

Another year has come and gone and is sticking its tongue out at all of us because we are another year older yet with any luck we are also wiser. Hopefully the season is also a reminder for us to learn and grow from the good and bad occurrences during the past dozen months. Reminiscing about the past year can be a good measure of how far you’ve come and how far you hope to go.

Have you bought a house? PCS’d for the first time or to another location you’ve never been before? Have you made new life-long friends or dropped some negative fake ones? Have you realized inner courage and resilience you didn’t know you had? Maybe

Steel Magnolias of the Corps

you’ve endured a lot more negative than positive this year.

There are many out there who can relate to that and have experiences and stories that can be made into tissueprovoking television.

No matter what you’ve done or gone through in 2011, above all else, my hope is that you’ve helped someone along the way who needed your assistance, guidance or advice. Hopefully you were able to lead them down a positive path with your uplifting message

of encouragement. If you haven’t done a selfless deed lately it’s not too late to leave your imprint on 2011 for 2012 to start out on the right foot.

Be honest with yourself and a good understanding friend to others by being yourself and always being there for your friends without thought to what they can do for you. We won’t know what’s ahead for 2012 but we do know that it’s another shot at a new beginning and it will be what we make of it. Be a leader we’d all like to follow, be inspiring, be motivating, be fearless my steel magnolias!

Questions or comments? Email us at Military Press at keepinformed@militarypress.com! You can also follow my blog @ http://therealhousewivesofthemarinecorps.blogspot.com/

New ‘Navy Mayor’ takes command of region On Friday, Dec. 9, a new mayor was sworn in… a new Navy mayor that is! Rear Admiral Dixon Smith has officially become the commander of Navy Region Admiral Smith Southwest as Rear Admiral William French steps down from the title that he has held since August 2009.

During a ceremony on the USS Midway Museum, Rear Admiral Smith was welcomed back to serving in San Diego as he was previously a commanding officer in San Diego from 2005 to 2008.

Since 2008, Smith has been stationed in Hawaii as commander of Navy Region Hawaii and Naval Surface Group Middle Pacific.

At the ceremony, Rear Admiral William French gave a compassionate speech saying that his two years with the Naval Region Southwest were the

“proudest of my career” and that the Navy “clearly picked the right person to succeed me.”

French kindly welcomed Rear Admiral Smith and his family to San Diego and to the position as NRSW commander. French also added, “Not only are you in America’s Finest City, you are in the Navy’s finest home port.”

During the USS Midway Museum ceremony, French’s wife Monica also received recognition and an achievement award for her dedication and

hard work with San Diego’s military families.

Rear Admiral Dixon Smith will serve as “Navy mayor” of the six-state region consisting of more than 75,000 active sailors assisting at 11 installations throughout the Naval Region Southwest. His ambitious and driven determination will prove to be successful for Naval Base San Diego’s future—which will plan to have 83 ships stationed at its home port by 2014.

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29995 Technology Drive, Suite 103 Temecula / Murrieta, CA 92563 Phone: (951) 501-9822 January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS 11

Semper Fi Chappy’s On Eagle’s Wings

D

o you remember from Roman mythology where the name January came from? Janus was the god of beginnings, the deity responsible for the New Year. He was the so-called custodian of the universe.

He held the sacred first hour of the day, the first day of the month, and the first month of the year, which bears his name. He is depicted as having two heads set back to back, one looking at the past and the other looking ahead to the future. T. S. Elliot once wrote, “What we call the beginning,

Is often the end, And to make an end, Is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

I have found this to be a profound statement in my life. I have often taught that we are in a process of evolving. I may have certificates on my wall that show I have had certain trainings, but the story of getting to the place, to achieve said certificate, may cause some to ask, “why? how?”

Most of us have had to go through trials or difficulties to be where we are today. We have had to look back at the past with an eye on our future. That’s the gratification of enduring and making the life we want. I want to share a story that has great meaning to me, which embodies this concept. It is called, ‘The Race’.

LIFE'S RACE

By Chaplain Ringo www.yourchappy.com

“The Race”

written by D. H. Groberg.

“Quit!” “Give up, you’re beaten!” they shout at me and plead, “There’s just too much against you now, this time you can’t succeed.”

And as I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face, My downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.

And hope refills my weakened will as I recall that scene, For just the thought of that short race rejuvenates my being.

A children’s race, young boys, young men; now I remember well.

Excitement, sure, but also fear; it wasn’t hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope. Each thought to win that race Or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.

And fathers watched from off the side, each cheering for his son, And each boy hoped to show his dad that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they sped, as if they were on fire To win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.

And one boy in particular, his dad was in the crowd, Was running near the lead and thought, “My dad will be so proud.”

But as he speeded down the field, across the shallow dip, The little boy who thought to win lost his step and slipped.

Trying hard to catch himself, his arm flew out to brace, And ‘mid the laughter of the crowd, he fell flat on his face.

So, down he fell, and with him, hope. He couldn’t win it now.

Embarrassed, sad, he only wished he’d disappear somehow.

But, as he fell, his dad stood up and showed his anxious face, Which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win the race!”

He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit, that’s all.

And ran with all his mind and might to make up for the fall.

So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win, His mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.

He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.

“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But, in the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face.

That steady look that said again, “Get up and win the race!”

With this New Year upon us, we can make the determination to not let life’s ups and downs decide the outcome for us. We must be willing to work ever harder, pressing forward, even with-

So, he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last; “If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”

Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight or ten, But trying so hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.

Defeat! He lay there silently, a tear dropped from his eye.

“There’s no sense running any more. Three strikes, I’m out, why try?”

The will to rise had disappeared, all hope had fled away.

So far behind, so error-prone, closer all the way.

“I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought, “I’ll live with my disgrace.”

But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “Get up and take your place.

You weren’t meant for failure here; get up and win the race.”

With borrowed will, “Get up,” it said, “You haven’t lost at all, For winning is no more than this—to rise each time you fall.”

So up he rose to win once more. And with a new commit, He resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.

So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been.

Still, he gave it all he had, and ran as though to win.

Three times he’d fallen, stumbling; three times he rose again.

Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered the winning runner, as he crossed the line, first place, Head high and proud and happy; no falling, no disgrace.

But, when the fallen crossed the finish line, last place, The crowd gave him the greater cheer for finishing the race.

And even though he came in last, with head bowed low, unproud, You would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.

And to his dad, he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”

“To me you won,” his father said, “you rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and hard and difficult to face, The memory of that little boy helps me in my race.

For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all, And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.

“Quit!” “Give up, you’re beaten!” They still shout in my face, But another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

out knowing how it will really end. It gives us the chance to reevaluate our plans, to consider the days ahead, and the promises of new beginnings. If we get up each time we fall, as did the

young boy in the race, and continue down our path, we can experience renewed determination and hope, instead of failure. We also gain the sense of pride and accomplishment that comes when we endure to yet another end. We may even be as surprised as the boy, to find the crowd cheering louder for our hard fought finish than it had for the proud winner.

Our “Race” is not over. We have the ability each day to get up and run another leg. Our loving Heavenly Father is in the stands saying to each of us, “Get up and win that race!” Winning for us, may just be to finish the course.

May we remember to do so even when it is ever so hard, is my prayer for all of us this week.

As always, it is my hope that this message will help you this week to, “mount up as on eagle’s wings”, and renew a little of your strength to keep moving forward and find joy…(Isaiah 40:31) Until next time, may God bless you and may God continue to bless our great nation… SEMPER FI Ron Ringo, Retired Chaplain Navy/Marine Corps holds a Doctorate of Philosophy in Counseling, and is a Certified Trauma Specialist.

12 January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS

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Sports News

Steelers don’t skip a beat without ben

By Scott Brown Scott Brown is the Pittsburgh TribuneReview’s Steelers beat writer and can be reached at 412-481-5432, via e-mail or on Twitter.

Charlie Batch That score effectively put the game out of reach.

“Nobody wants to let this team down,” said Batch, who was serenaded with chants of “Charlie” during the game. “To get the start at home, it was great because I think (fans) have appreciated what I have done. I embraced it; it was a special moment.”

Read more: Steelers don’t skip a beat against Rams - Pittsburgh Tribune-Review http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/ pittsburghtrib/sports/steelers/s_773679. html#ixzz1hljoknnD Cleveland Browns, is for the Cincinnati Bengals (9-6) to beat the Baltimore Ravens (11-4).

If both of those things happen, the Steelers will win a fourth AFC North title in five seasons under Tomlin -and earn a first-round bye.

A Steelers loss or a Ravens win in Cincinnati means the defending AFC champions will be locked into the No. 5 seed -- and have to play the AFC West champion on the road in the first week of the playoffs. That means either at Denver or at Oakland.

Thinking about the playoff scenarios could wait for the Steelers players after they rebounded from a 20-3 loss in San Francisco and ensured that they (and their families) will enjoy Christmas.

The regular-season finale at Heinz Field was about as aesthetically pleasing, at times, as an 11-car pile-up.

But the Steelers wore down the Rams with a punishing running game -- Mendenhall rushed for a game-high 116 yards and a touchdown on 18 carries -- and a defense that tormented St. Louis quarterback Kellen Clemens.

Clemens, the Rams’ third-string quarterback, threw for just 91 yards on 9 of 24 passing. The Steelers sacked him three times.

Batch eluded a sack on the Steelers’ first possession of the game and hit Mendenhall for a 35-yard catchand-run.

The Homestead native managed the game through the first three quarters and opened it up in the final 15 minutes. Batch’s 46-yard completion to Mike Wallace early in the fourth quarter set up Mendenhall’s 1-yard touchdown run.

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In a locker room where Dan Rooney and Art Rooney II passed out congratulations and wishes of “Merry Christmas” to Steelers players, safety Ryan Clark did arguably the best job of framing a 27-0 victory Saturday against the St. Louis Rams.

“Not to sound in any way arrogant, but this is a game we expected to win and I think people expected us to win,” Clark said after the Steelers improved to 11-4. “We didn’t do anything that’s going to win us a Super Bowl, but we got the win.”

Indeed, the Steelers did what was necessary to beat a team that lived up to its advance billing as one of the worst outfits in the NFL. They also bought time for Ben Roethlisberger and his ailing left ankle.

Roethlisberger dressed yesterday, but only as the emergency quarterback.

He spent the afternoon at Heinz Field watching backup Charlie Batch throw for 208 yards and pull a couple of Roethlisberesque escapes in the pocket. After the game, Batch received a congratulatory hug from coach Mike Tomlin.

He had enjoyed similar support earlier in the day.

The running game, led by Rashard Mendenhall, churned out 169 yards and averaged 6.0 yards per carry, and the defense pitched its second shutout this season.

“We did a good job in all three phases,” Tomlin said. “We’ve won games with (Batch) in the past. If need be, we will win games with him in he future. We are very comfortable with our depth at the quarterback position.”

Tomlin said the short turnaround after playing last Monday night in San Francisco was why the Steelers went with Batch over Roethlisberger.

He was noncommittal when asked if Roethlisberger, who is working through a high-ankle sprain, will play a week from today in Cleveland. Tomlin said a “myriad of factors” will decide whether Roethlisberger is ready to return to action.

The Steelers already have clinched a playoff berth but their postseason situation remains fluid as ever. They are in play for the No. 1, No. 2 and No. 5 seeds in the AFC. What they need most next week, aside from a win against the 4-11

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January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS 13

Sports News with Art Garcia Jr.

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Back on Track, Noons Looks Impressive In Win over Evangalista C

hristmas came early for San Diego resident KJ Noons as he won a tough, hard-nosed victory over Billy Evangelista in the opening bout of the Strikeforce: Melendez vs. Masvidal Lightweight Championship at the Valley View Casino Center on Dec. 17.

With the victory, Noons, the former EliteXC lightweight champion, hoped to re-establish himself as not only a contender for the Strikeforce championship, but for a possible shot down the road at, dare I say it, some of the top contenders in the UFC. “What a war. We really put on a show,” Noons said following the win. “The key for me was diversity, not being so one-dimensional. I changed up my camp and made it a one-dimensional fighter better. I wanted to showcase something different.”

It was his diversity -- the ability to land precise strikes and kicks that earned him a 29-28 unanimous decision which ended his two-fight skid and raised his record to 10-3. After two consecutive losses, Evangelista now sports a record of 11-2 (1NC).

After Evangelista won the first round 10-9, both fighters landed hard blows and some kicks in rounds two and three although neither fighter appeared in any real danger of being knocked out. However, Noons did ‘showcase’ more ability to mix things up by shooting for takedowns, landing some leg kicks and attempting a spinning back kick and back fist.

Ironically, it was his versatility that probably kept the fight closer than had he just stuck more to his boxing skills.

As he became more comfortable, Noons’ superior striking skills became the difference in the fight. In fact, it seemed every time Evangelista would smile and shake his head ‘no’ when he was nailed with a solid combination of strikes or a well-placed kick, Noons’ confidence grew as he peppered Evangelista’s face with lefts and rights.

“I felt like I hurt him a couple of times but the guy’s tough and he just kept coming forward,” Noons said. “It feels good to win especially coming off a couple of losses. But I changed my camp up and had a new game plan this time because it’s all about winning.

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Evangelista said he knew he would lose if he didn’t knockout or submit Noons. After an aggressive start in round one, his mistake was trying to trade punches and land that over hand right rather than sticking to his wrestling skills and clinch attack which nearly garnered him a standing guillotine choke late in the final round.

However, Noons gave up position to get out of it and jumped to his feet before Evangelista could take his back.

“I just had that feeling. It’s his crowd, his town. I just told myself have fun and fight the best fight you can fight,” Evangelista said following the fight. “At the end we agreed no takedowns and we would chuck it up and try to knock each other out. I wanted to get the crowd pumped up.

It was a fun fight. We’re both strikers, both bangers.”

Ringside After putting on an exciting opening bout in which both fighters often stood toe-to-toe trading punches, it was interesting to read the reviews of Noons vs. Evangalista. The consensus was neither fighter did much to impress the powers that be that they are worthy of a title shot in the near future.

Although they were coming off tough losses to Jorge Masvidal, the title challenger in the headliner fight, both fighters showed, at least in this writer’s opinion, that with some finetuning and hard work at certain aspects of their game, they could very well be mentioned among the top contenders for a shot at the title. Especially in Noons’ case – having split the two fights he’s had against Nick Diaz, if the rest of his skills can catch up to his striking ability there will be no question he’ll be a top contender for the title.

“I’ll just take whoever Strikeforce throws at me…

I just want to get better as a fighter,” Noons said.

A DISTINGUISHED EDUCATION 14TESC3985-44_Boat_DutyToLifestyle_MilitaryPress.indd January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY1 PRESS

“I had been going in (fights) lately and just wanting to put on a great show all of the time, but I have to win some.

So it felt good to win.”

12/22/11 10:51 AM

Entertainment News

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“GOLDFINGAAAAAHHH!!!”

Shirley Bassey and James Bond – the legend continues

By Liz Smith

W

ho can forget Shirley Bassey blasting her way to international fame, singing the title song of the third James Bond movie, “Goldfinger,” released in 1964.

Miss Bassey – Dame Bassey, actually – went on to record two more Bond themes. She belted out “Diamonds Are Forever” and “Moonraker.” In years to come, artists such as Carly Simon (“Nobody Does It Better”), Paul McCartney (“Live and Let Die”), Nancy Sinatra (“You Only Live Twice”), Tom Jones (“Thunderball”) and even Madonna (“Die Another Day”) put their mark on various Bond soundtracks. But it is the sassy Miss Bassey whose voice is forever associated with 007.

Now, here’s the tidbit. Bassey actually recorded a song, titled “No Good About Goodbye,” for 2008’s “The Quantum of Solace.”

This was Daniel Craig’s second turn as Bond. The song was rejected. In its place was a Jack White/Alicia Keys duet, “Another Way to Die.” That, well ... died.

You can find “No Good About Goodbye” on Bassey’s album, “The Performance.” It’s great. In the first place, Bassey’s voice is virtually – no, perhaps, literally – unchanged since 1964. This woman takes care of her instrument! Second, it is such a “Bond” sound. Suggestion to producer Barbara Broccoli – when the time comes to score “Skyfall” – the latest Bond film – use Bassey’s song. Or write her a new one. The image of Daniel Craig as 007 and the sound of Shirley Bassey are a great mix of 20th- and 21st-century pop culture.

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Blake Grifin

By Gary Flick Cue Blake Griffin. In the Clippers’ dismal tenure in Los Angeles, they have had more than their fair share of high draft picks, but none of these

picks has become the focal point of an offense around the league (though Eric Gordon still has potential to break the mold). As amazing as Blake Griffin is, he is still in the same, “Oh my, what an amazing athlete!” catego-

ry as the Darius Miles’ and Quentin Richardson’s of years past.

Unfortunately for the aforementioned names, though, an athlete is not enough to build a team around.

LeBron James is, without a doubt in

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my mind, the best athlete in the NBA, but after his transition to Miami, I still don’t think he has the heart and soul you need to win an NBA championship alone. He made the right move, however, because he has a teammate there who does put his will to win before his will to be the most popular guy in the NBA and that man is Dwyane Wade.

As much as I love (in its strongest sense) watching Blake Griffin play basketball, I can already tell that he is every bit as proud of his fame as he is of his ability to play basketball. Mind you, I don’t think he would ever hold a primetime press conference just to tell the people of L.A. he is moving to Miami, but I still believe limelight and a big paycheck seem more appealing to Blake Griffin (and this may change; the guy is only 22) than an NBA championship.

Cue Chauncey Billups and Mo Williams. Both of these players have had great success in other cities (even a ring and a Finals MVP for Billups in Detroit) and both have come to terms with the fact that they are much more successful as role players (Williams with LeBron, Billups with Carmelo Anthony) in these later stages of their careers. The Clippers saw their respective successes with other superstars and decided to bring them in as role playing assets to their flourishing young star, Blake Griffin. When I first heard a proven winner like Chauncey was going to the Clippers, I was convinced they would be a playoff team, but wasn’t overly optimistic to them being much more than that.

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Chauncey Billups B:7.02”

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Cue Chris Paul. People would laugh at me if I said Chris Paul was a better athlete than Blake Griffin.

People would even have a case to argue that Chauncey Billups is a better all-around point guard than Paul, but one thing about Chris Paul that sets him apart from most exceptionally talented players like himself is his heart.

Chris Paul has an exceptional will, and with the cast forming around him in Los Angeles, I finally think he has the pieces in place to make his run at a championship.

As good as a pickup as Billups was, he is not the man he was in 2004, nor does he still have the same motives to be a champion (he was vocal about being happy to end his career in Denver before the Knicks trade).

Paul, on the other hand, is coming off an all-star season in which he was vocal about wanting to be somewhere he can win a championship, not somewhere he can retire happily. This is the heart that the Clippers need to follow the Dirk Nowitzki’s, (matured) Kobe Bryant’s, and Ray Allen/Paul Pierce/ Kevin Garnett’s of recent years to the top of the NBA. The Hornets did their best to help Paul reach the top (David West is one of the most underrated players in the NBA), but there was still always a missing piece. Now that he has joined a budding team, rather than having one built around him, I think Paul’s will to win will be that much stronger in his quest for a championship. He knows the spotlight (metaphorically and literally) is on him in L.A. now, and I can’t see why his goal would be anything less than a championship with the supporting cast he has now.

Aside from the big names I mentioned previously, the Clippers box office managed to lock down the extremely promising young stars DeAndre Jordan and Eric Bledsoe, as well as a few more solid veterans like Caron Butler and Randy Foye (who had a great year last year).

Many could argue that heart can only go take you so far, as with the Hornets, but arguing the strength of Paul’s heart and the places that heart can take you is almost impossible.

Paul’s biggest obstacle will be staying healthy, as it has been throughout his career, but if he can stay on the court, the Clippers could, without a doubt,

Automotive News

top speed list, BMW continues to evolve the 3-series toward some platonic ideal of sportiness. You don’t notice the seats, the steering, the suspension, or the brakes because everything feels natural. Everything feels right. And how has no other automaker matched the silkiness of BMW’s inline-six engines?

Don’t forget the M3, either, which remains magnificent in the twilight of a celebrated life, thanks largely to that lusty 414-hp, 8300-rpm V-8. The 3-series sedan is on hiatus until a new model drops in February.

GREAT Cars for 2012

By Car and Driver staff MORE AT CARANDDRIVER.COM

Welcome to some of the best. The cars here don’t have to be the newest, and they don’t have to be expensive – nothing over $80,000 is allowed. They just have to meet our abundant needs while satisfying our every want. These are the best cars on the market.

Audi A6/A7 3.0T Quattro Passion and persistence win. Always.

It’s easy for love affairs to wilt as life’s odometer ticks off the years. But our passion for the Audi A6—a two-time comparison-test winner in its previous guise—has now burgeoned into the sort of fiery affair that would have prompted Humbert to jam a ring onto each of Lolita’s 10 delicate digits. For 2012, the A6 enjoys its seventh remake, with all of its most lovable traits— right-now power, gratifying steering, unyielding structure—present and ac-

counted for. This is a car that waltzes in the hills because it’s so forgiving, so informative, so easy to drive to its limits. At its heart still beats a supercharged 3.0-liter V-6, making 310 horsepower, now paired with a rapidfire ZF eight-speed automatic.

Honda Accord - Old-school Honda goodness.

The four-cylinder Accord proves that when Honda plays to its strengths, it is better than anyone at producing vehicles with a supernaturally fine balance of attributes. That this is still true while Honda is widely acknowledged to have lost some of its product magic puts the all-around excellence of the four-cylinder Accord in stark relief.

This is a big sedan (without a sunroof, roomy enough to reside in the EPA’s Large Sedan category) that’s lighter on its feet than many sports coupes you could mention. The primary controls are so perfectly matched to each

Porsche Boxter/Cayman Baby Porsches, all grown up.

A sports car should be transportation for the spirit as well as the body, and few sports cars offer a more transcendent driving experience than these mid-engined fraternal twins.

In either roadster or hatchback form, they’re distinguished by exceptional balance, eager responses, and a link between car and driver that’s free of excessive filtration. Civilized, yes. But not at the expense of purity. Over the years, the sinews of Porsche’s entrylevel twosome have grown stronger and more flexible; the output of their flat-six engines has climbed as high as 330 horsepower in the new Cayman R; and their styling has become less 911-derivative. Another trait that upstages the 911 is the twins’ practicality: Yes, they give up two only groceryor small-dog-appropriate seats to their big brother but in return offer covered storage fore and aft. There was a time when we also used the word “affordable” in connection with these two.

But with the least-expensive roadster starting at $49,050, that no longer tracks. On the other hand, it’s the most attainable of Porsches, almost $31K less than a basic 911.

BMW 3-Series/M3 The 3 is still the one.

The competition should have figured out a way to beat the BMW 3-series by now. It’s not for lack of trying: Every so often, another carmaker will pitch a worthy competitor into the mix, but none has been able to knock the 3-series from its pedestal or even maintain its consistent brilliance. After 21 consecutive years on the 10Best

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other that this not-exactly-sporty-looking sedan can traipse along the tightrope of your favorite back road with precision and utter predictability. It will return 33 mpg on the highway; a well-equipped EX version costs just one nice dinner more than $25,000 (a little more for the coupe); and it’s a more natural heel-and-toe enabler than most sports cars.

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Savings off regular price.

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together, we’ll keep your car running newer, longer.

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Shop supply charges in the amount of 6% of labor charges will be added to invoices greater than $35. These charges will not exceed $25 and represent costs and profits. Shop supply charges not applicable in CA or NY. Non-mandated disposal or recycling charges, if any are disclosed above, may also represent costs and profits. Specific product offerings and tread designs may vary. Prices, warranties, car service, credit plans and other offers available at Firestone Complete Auto Care; see affiliated for their competitive offers and warranties. *If you do not achieve guaranteed mileage on properly maintained tires, your Firestone retailer will replace your tires on a pro-rated basis. Actual tread life may vary. All warranties apply only to original owner on originally installed vehicle. See retailer for details, restrictions and copy of each limited warranty. †MINIMUM MONTHLY PAYMENTS REQUIRED. Applicable to purchases made January 1st through June 30, 2012. APR: 22.8%. Minimum Finance Charge $1.00. CFNA reserves the right to change APR, fees and other terms unilaterally.

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January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS 21

Heard the one about the . . .

2. Turns a goat loose and says he’ll be back in three weeks 1. No toes

Lawyer joke Kind offer?.

You know you hired the wrong kid to mow your lawn when: 10.He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag 9. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of thirteen cats 8. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher 7. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with his head 6. You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulche 5. He’s fascinated by the details of you home security system 4. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings 3. Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus

... One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.

“Why are you eating grass?”, he asked one man.

“We don’t have any money for food.”, the poor man replied.

“Oh, come along with me then.”

“But sir, I have a wife with two children!”

“Bring them along! And you, come with us too!”, he said to the other man.

“But sir, I have a wife with six children!” the second man answered.

“Bring them as well!”

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, “Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”

The lawyer replied, “No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall.”

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NO DEADLINES NO DEAL BREAKERS NO HASSLES 22 January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS

Q: Did you hear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?

A: They went to see “Closed for Winter.”

Q: Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads?

A: They want to measure their intelligence.

Q: Why do blondes stand under light bulbs?

A: It’s the closest they’ll come to a bright idea.

Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers to work?

A: In case they have to draw blood.

Q: What do you call a blonde with ½ a brain?

A: Gifted.

Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair black?

A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: What happened to the Blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

A: She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe. ... The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man

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around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money.

Many people had tried over time (weight lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.

One day a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, “I’d like to try the bet.”

After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. He then handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man, “what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?”

The man replied, “I work for the IRS.”

Getting out of a ticket A man in his 40’s bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

“There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. “What the hell am I doing?” he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

“It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”

The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”

“Have a nice weekend,” said the officer.

“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.” ~Fred Allen

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“Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.” ~H.L. Mencken “A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.” ~Author Unknown “A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.” ~Attributed to Arthur McBride Bloch

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January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS 23

“I reject the cynical view that politics is a dirty business.”

– Richard M. Nixon

Events • The U.S. Supreme Court upholds School Busing Swann v. CharlotteMecklenburg Board of Education 402 • Amtrak created to provide US inter city passenger train services.

• Mount Etna erupts.

• Tsunami 85 m high rises over Ryukyu Islands in Japan.

• Harris public opinion poll claims

• A new stock market index called the Nasdaq debuts.

• Sylmar earthquake hits the San Fernando Valley area of California.

• The Voting Age in the United States is lowered to 18 yrs old when the 26th Amendment to the US constition is ratified.

• Prison riot and prisoners take hostages at Attica Prison in New York, resulting in the death of 10 hostages and 29 inmates.

that 60% of Americans are against the war in Vietnam.

• The Walt Disney World Resort opens in Florida on October 21st • The US table tennis team visits to the People’s Republic of China (PRC) known as “Ping Pong Diplomacy” • Greenpeace formally comes into existence. * Federal Express is started by Fred Smith. * Cigarette Advertising Ended on Television in USA. * In an attempt to control inflation President Richard M. Nixon implements 90 day freeze on wages and prices, he also removed the gold/silver backing from the US Dollar. * Major General Idi Amin takes control of Uganda soon to become one of the worst and most notorious dictators of modern times.Following on from the Public Broadcasting Act of 1967, National Public Radio (NPR) broadcasts for the first time in April 1971.

• The New York Times begins to pub-

lish sections of the Pentagon Papers showing the US Government had been lying to the American People.

• Charles Manson and three of his followers receive the death penalty.

• Popular CultureLed Zeppelin releases their untitled fourth album.

• Jim Morrison of The Doors found dead in bath tub in Paris.

Popular Films Love Story Summer of ‘42 Ryan’s Daughter The Owl and the Pussycat The Aristocats Carnal Knowledge The Andromeda Strain The French Connection

Popular Musicians

James Taylor The Doors Bob Dylan Tony Orlando and Dawn with “ Knock Three Times “

“I got treated very badly in Texas. They don’t treat beatniks too good in Texas. Port Arthur people thought I was a beatnik, though they’d never seen one and neither had I.” – Janis Joplin 24 24January January1,1,2012 2012THE THEMILITARY MILITARYPRESS PRESS

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Janis Joplin with “ Me and Bobby Mcgee “ The Who Mungo Jerry John Lennon The Jackson 5 Ike and Tina Turner Marvin Gaye Rod Stewart with “ Maggie Mae “ The Osmonds Michael Jackson The Rolling Stones with “ Brown Sugar “

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January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS 25

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Training Provided. Flexible Hours. Commission Based.

Earn As You Learn. No Quotas.

Call 858-663-4497

BUSINESS DIRECTORY

RENTALS

IMPERIAL BEACH Large 1Br/1Ba

2BR/2BA, W/D in unit.

1/2 Off 1st Month.

Waiving Application Fee Pool & Jacuzzi. $1250/mo.

Cats Ok w/Pet Deposit.

760.630.1515

CITRUS COURT 3br/2ba Luxury Condos

1600+ per mo. + $750 dep., Short Term Lease Available Full size W/D, 1-car garage

$

Move-in Special citruscourtcondos.com Office:

760-489-1349

$800 to $985 nice 1 & 2 Br Apts

close to shopping, schools, frwys & 32nd st.. off st prk onsite lndry - no pets

Call Diann 619.474.5055 Ocean Breeze Village

Town Homes & Condo's for RENT

Move in specials & Military Discounts

760-757-4923

Near Base, beach and more!

Large pets ok (call)

SANTEE

1Br, 1Ba, 2Br, 1Ba, Gated Comm., Pets OK.

CALL TODAY FOR MILITARY SPECIALS! 866-475-1491

SANTEE

1Br, 1Ba, w/ all Amenities, lndry, pool/spa. Nr. shppng & dining. Close to 52 & 125. Pet friendly. No applic. fee/deps for active duty military.

Fletcher Valley Apts 619-449-5616

SHADOWRIDGE PARK APTS

619-429-9338

Near Base, Beach & more!

Large Pets OK (call)

Kenwood Drive Properties

Pacific Legacy

Newly remodeled, fplc, W/D, pool, Fitness ctr.

2000 S. Melrose Dr. Vista

From $750/mo

1042 15th Street

1/2 Off 1st Mo. Rent (OAC) $350 Deposit (OAC) Free Credit Check for Active Military 1 BR starting at $795 2 BR starting at $895 Gate, Pool, On-Site laundry, Close to frwy & Bases Call 619-433-0150 kenwoodgardenapts.com 9209 Kenwood Drive Spring Valley 91977

Mid-City Duplex

3866 Ingraham Street Pacific Beach

Prominence

601 S. Twin Oaks Valley Rd.

Under new management & homes of new improvements!

1 & 2 bedrooms for rent

Same day sign Additional $200 off Deposit

BELLA VISTA

Call 858.273.5525

Foreclosure Forgiveness Credit Friendly Granite, Wshr/Dryer & Gar's optional, fplc’s, gated, resort size pool, fitness ctr, tennis, theatre &more.

Canyon Heights Apartments

Move in Specials & Military Discounts!

On quiet cul-de-sac, Close to Beach, Bay & Bases

BayPointeApartmentHomes.com

Studio Starting $975 1 Bdrm Starting $1150 2 Bdrm Starting $1595 Pool, Spa, Gym, Tennis & Bball Courts Low $250 Deposit OAC

1515 Date St., Vista 92083

26 January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS

760-728-0122

Mariners Village Apartments January Move-In Special Move-In during the month of December and receive ½ off the deposit and waived application fee.

We offer spacious 1,2 and 3 bedroom apartments starting at $999-$1350/month located in Paradise Hills off of Paradise Valley Road!

Schedule a tour today!

6847 Potomac Street San Diego CA 92139 619-470-6500

BAY POINTE APTS

SAME DAY SIGN •Additional $200 Off deposit •No App Fees •1BR + LOFT $1320 •2BR from $1555 •TOWNHOME from $1715

National City

imperialcrest.blogspot.com

REAL ESTATE

MILITARY SPECIAL

FALLBROOK

519 Ammunition Rd

$

RENTALS

760-731-6432

Minutes from Pendelton NEW PHASE 1 & 2 BDRM

MASSAGE

RENTALS

760-798-2794

Country Like Setting, Laundry Facility

CHIROPRACTIC CARE

619-691-9800

$800 & up. Spacious 1Bedroom, private patio/balcony, A/C, refrig., NO PETS! 145 W. Clemmens Ln

Spacious 1 & 2 Bedroom Apts

20% DISCOUNT 24 Hours Phone Consult with Dr. Chris Turner

FALLBROOK

858.537.2280

3572 47th St. San Diego

Nice 2BR 1BA w/off-street parking. small pet OK. 995/mo Military Discount

Call 619-865-6894

MILITARY FAMILY WANTED 1,2 & 3 Bedroom apartment homes available in Falbrook, Oceanside, Poway, Lakeside and La Mesa, Dogs welcome at several properties upon approval. Military Programs available. Please call 619.956.6341 for more information

MOVE IN IMMEDIATELY to RIVER OAKS

Military Specials

Beautiful Newly Renovated Homes.

Free Gar., W/D. In Oceanside, located near Camp Pendleton.

Call Today 760.721.8585

Or, Stop by 3891 San Ramon Drive

760-722-0709

Property Management

Offering Rentals Throughout San Diego- Military friendly

All rentals available at:

www.pacleg.com 619-423-7500

POINT LOMA 1 BR starting @ $1049 2 BR's starting @ $1299 3 BR's starting @ $1699 Up to $400 OFF Move-in 2 Pools, Jacuzzi, Tennis Ct. 4 Laundry Rms, Dog Park

1.877.260.4585

Rent: $ 1,800

$300 OFF 1ST MONTH'S RENT

3Br's, EZ Fwy access, mins to Camp Pendleton. Lg. pool & Jacuzzi. Huge walk in closet. Wash/Dryer hookup

Call us at: 760-434-5257

662 Tamarack Ave. Carlsbad, CA 92008

2 BED, 2 BATH APT $995.00 + $100.00 OFF! Both bedrooms same size!

Garage $75.00, air cond/heat, large kitchen, laundry facilities, near 67, 52, 8 fwys. Less than ½ mile from schools. Dog under 30 lbs or 2 cats– call for details.

Credit/background checks $30.00 ea. Deposit $350.00 OAC

Stone Ridge Apartments

1br from $1175 2br from $1395

760.598.2705

Townhouse

w/Attached Garage 2br/2ba, 2-story, Avail. Dec 1st $1750/mo. + 1st Month Free incl. Cable/Water.

All Appl’s, Wood Floors, Fplc, Fenced Bkyd, Pool, Sm. Pets OK. Rancho Peñaquitos, Nr. Miramar

Call Linda 858.484.6997 Live The Good Life...

At Mirada!

UTC

ANNOUNCEMENTS

To place an ad or for more information, call

1 & 2BRs, 2 Pools & Spas, Fitness Ctr. Pets Okay. Close to Shopping, Beaches, Dining & Bases

(858) 450-6400 mirada-apartments.com

WANTED THRIFT TRADER

CD’S - DVD’S - VINYL

CLOTHING - BOOKS- GOODIES

BUY • SELL TRADE

5.99 4 for $20

$

3939 Iowa Street, North Park

619-282-7283

1416 Garnet, Pacific Beach

858-272-7283

(888) 690-0516

12840 Mapleview St, Lakeside, CA

Call Michelle for your 2012 Advertising Needs

VISIT US ONLINE MilitaryPress.com

For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280

January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS 27

LUE

For all you give, we want to give back.

Visit one of the Southern California KB Home communities below and learn more about our special homebuying opportunities for qualified military personnel.

OWN A NEW HOME FROM THE MID $100s!

Edgewood at The Cove in San Jacinto

From the mid $100s Sycamore at Hidden Hills in Menifee

• 1,394–2,233 sq. ft.

• 3–5 bedrooms, 2–2.5 baths

From I-215, exit Hwy. 74 heading east. Turn left on Warren Rd., left on Cottonwood Ave. and follow signs to sales center.

OR: From I-10, exit Hwy. 79 heading south, travel for approx.

10 mi., turn right on Cottonwood Ave heading West for approx.

2 mi. to sales center. (951) 487-2887

Villages at Monument Park in Perris

From the high $100s Monument Park II in Perris

From the mid $200s

• 1,846–2,966 sq. ft.

• 3–5 bedrooms, 2–3 baths • solar power system included standard

From I-215, exit Newport Rd. heading west. Turn left on Haun Rd., right on Holland Rd., left on Bradley Rd., right on Craig Ave., left on Evans Rd., then left on Yeoman Pl. to sales center.

OR: From I-215, exit Scott Rd. heading west. Turn right on Murrieta Rd., right on Craig Ave., right on Evans Rd., then left on Yeoman Pl. to sales center. (951) 672-8553

From the low $200s

• 1,234–2,222 sq. ft.

• 3–5 bedrooms, 2–2.5 baths

• 2,390–3,085 sq. ft.

• 3–5 bedrooms, 2–3 baths

From I-215, exit Ethanac Rd. heading west, travel approx.

2 mi. west, turn right onto Big Bear Dr., right on Yosemite Ave., then right on Yellowstone Ct. to sales center. (951) 443-0859

From I-215, exit Ethanac Rd. heading west, travel approx.

2 mi. west, turn right onto Big Bear Dr., right on Yosemite Ave., then right on Yellowstone Ct. to sales center. (951) 443-0859

Manzanita at Paseo del Sol in Temecula

From the mid $200s Kenton Place in Murrieta

• 1,628–2,224 sq. ft.

• 3–5 bedrooms, 2.5–3 baths • solar power system included standard

From I-15 Fwy., exit Temecula Pkwy. (CA-79) heading east.

Turn left on Meadows Pkwy., right on Sunny Meadows Pkwy., left on Bingham Dr., then left onto Beamer Ct. to sales center.

(951) 225-9860

Fox Hollow at Crown Valley Village in Murrieta

From I-15, exit California Oaks Rd./Kalmia St. heading west.

Turn right on Washington Ave., right on Magnolia St., right on Adams Ave. and right on Davidson St. to sales center on left.

(951) 696-5040

From the low $200s Twinbrook at Crown Valley Village in Murrieta From the high $200s

• 1,551–2,597 sq. ft.

• 4–5 bedrooms, 2–3 baths

From I-15 or I-215, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east and travel approx. 4.5 mi. Turn left onto Pourroy Rd., left onto High Vista Dr. and then left onto Valley Spring Way. (951) 677-4110

Monterey at Otay Ranch in Chula Vista

From the mid $200s

• 2,024–2,876 sq. ft.

• 3–6 bedrooms, 2–3 baths

From the mid $300s Shady Grove II in Fallbrook

• 2,595–3,563 sq. ft.

• 3–7 bedrooms, 2.5–4 baths • solar power system included standard

From I-15 or I-215, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east and travel approx. 4.5 mi. Turn left onto Pourroy Rd., left onto High Vista Dr. and then left onto Valley Spring Way. (951) 461-4676

From the low $400s

• 1,917–2,175 sq. ft.

• 3–5 bedrooms, 2.5 baths • solar power system included standard

• 1,968–3,500 sq. ft.

• 3–5 bedrooms, 2–4.5 baths • RV and boat storage on-site

From I-805, exit Olympic Pkwy. heading east. Turn right on La Media Rd., then right on Birch Rd./State St. At the roundabout, continue straight on Santa Diana Rd., turn right on Santa Christina Ave., then left onto Pershing Rd. to sales center. (619) 421-4062

From Hwy. 76, head north on Mission Rd. approx. 4 mi. Turn right on Stage Coach Ln., go approx. 3 mi., turn right on Gum Tree Ln., right on Tom McGuinness Jr. Cir., then left on James Gaynor St. to sales center. OR: From I-15, exit E. Mission Rd. At first stop sign, turn right on Mission Rd. and continue toward Fallbrook. Turn left on Stage Coach Ln., left on Gum Tree Ln., right on Tom McGuinness Jr. Cir., then left on James Gaynor St. to sales center. (760) 728-1061

Broker Cooperation Welcome. ©2011 KB Home (KBH). Standard solar power system is 1.4kWp. KBH makes no guarantee of energy production by the solar power system installed with a home or of any energy costs savings by homeowner.

Energy costs will vary by floor plan, occupancy, appliance usage, thermostat settings and orientation of solar energy system, among other factors. Payment of Broker Co-op requires Broker or agent to accompany and register buyer on first visit and comply with Broker Co-op Agreement. Plans, pricing, financing, terms, availability and specifications subject to change/prior sale without notice and may vary by neighborhood, lot location and home series. Additional charges apply for lot premiums, options/upgrades. Buyer responsible for all taxes, insurance and other fees. Sq. footage is approximate. Photos show upgraded landscaping/options and may not represent communities’ lowest-priced homes. See sales representative for details. KB Home Sales–Southern California Inc. (CA Real Estate License 00242327). SOCAL-98130

28 January 1, 2012 THE MILITARY PRESS