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Volume 37 • #20 • October 15, 2013
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October 15, 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS 1
com·pro·mise [kom-pruh-mahyz]
To compromise is to make a deal between different parties where each party gives up part of their demand. In arguments, compromise is a concept of finding agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms — often involving variations from an original goal or desire. Extremism is often considered as antonym to compromise, which, depending on context, may be associated with concepts of balance and tolerance. In the negative connotation, compromise may be referred to as capitulation, referring to a “surrender” of objectives, principles, or material, in the process of negotiating an agreement. In human relationships “compromise” is frequently said to be an agreement that no party is happy with, this is because the parties involved often feel that they either gave away too much or that they received too little. HOUSING
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REBOOTING CONGRESS The best way to government efficiency
Here we go again. Congress is warming up for its “dysfunctional” dance — you know, the one where members of each party blame the other party, the government is either not funded until the last minute or is funded a few weeks at a time or actually shuts down for a week or two, and our elected representatives and senators do their best to make simple things look hard. By Stephen Tyron Imagine that you paid your electric bill in advance, only to have some bureaucrat at the power company tell you he was turning off your power because he didn’t like the fact that most of the power was being generated through coal-fired plants. I don’t think any of us would stand for that. Even though we all have our opinions on the merits of sustainable energy versus fossil fuels, those opinions are beside the point: when you pay for power in advance, it isn’t right for the power company to turn off your power because of some philosophical debate. Well, if you are like most Americans, you settle your account with the Internal Revenue Service each April, and your employer is sending the government part of your paycheck every month to pay your tax bill. How is it right for some group of bureaucrats to threaten to turn off your government services because they have failed to resolve their philosophical differences in a timely manner? The fact is that it is neither right nor necessary for Congress to engage in this dysfunction. Thirteen appropriations bills will fund the government in fiscal year 2014 (October 1, 2013 through September 30, 2014). Those bills should have been passed before the August recess. If the work wasn’t done, then Congress should not have taken summer vacation. They should have stayed in session until the work
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was done. The only reason the work didn’t get done is because the members of Congress didn’t want it to get done. They wanted the political drama we are witnessing now because they believe this drama will help them win some philosophical debate about the size, scope and activity of government. Collectively, they are betting that voters will forget how Congress played chicken with your money by the time they stand for re-election next year. Individually, each will tell you that the failure to complete the appropriations bills on time is someone else’s fault. In fact, every member of Congress is responsible for this failure. The way to restore a government that completes its work on time is to fire the 468 members of Congress who will stand for election in November of 2014. If every one of us voted against incumbents in the 2014 election, we would replace 87 percent of Congress. If we did that, I am willing to bet that the 2016 budget would be done on time. The notion of shutting down the government to achieve some outcome that is supposed to be achieved as a result of elected officials doing their jobs each day is fundamentally flawed. Americans don't have the option of shutting down their checking accounts when the check to the IRS comes due. For any member of Congress, regardless of party, to hold the American people hostage because the members collectively cannot effectively legislate is unacceptable. Replacing 87 percent of Congress in November of 2014 would effectively “reboot” our government. I believe such a reboot would be the best way to restore effective government. Don’t you? Stephen Tryon, a former fellow in the office of Senator Max Cleland, is a Senior Vice President at internet retailer Overstock.com and the author of Accountability Citizenship.
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October 15, 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS 3
Government shutdown vs. Marine Corps families Darwin said, “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Everything’s been up in the air lately and it can be a stressful time in our military households. Between deferred death benefits, basic pay, special pay, base fires, what’s going to be paid or not, what’s closed and what’s not, etc., has put us on edge. I know you see the military football teams playing on TV, Congress traveling around like it’s the ’90s, the former NFL players getting $700+ million for TBI and concussions for ineffective equipment (our wounded warriors aren’t privy to that I think) and events being held on base that you may not agree with because they appear to be bad timing. We’ll never fully agree on what’s fair nor have control over how others deem certain things priorities in the military (although we’d like to). Yet, out of the midst of the chaos, all over we’ve seen triumphant steel magnolia’s blossom in this time of uncertainty. When the commissaries closed, military spouses banded together via Facebook, of course, to find the next best locations for coupon usage and stores even before Costco & Sam’s stepped up
to offer their stores. Spouses were giving tips and hints to find the best deals all around towns everywhere. As the Camp Pendleton fire displaced hundreds of residents from their homes, military spouses saw a need and jumped at the chance to give back and provide diapers, water, food and a listening ear to their fellow spouses. That display of love, appreciation and graciousness regardless of rank, military branch or job was very inspiring. We’ll never know what’s going on in Washington, D.C. and sadly may not be able to 100% depend on those who are supposed to look out for us. What we have seen over the past several weeks is that we are resilient and strong as a community. We’ve shown that we can and we will take care of each other regardless of whether Red Cross, FEMA or anyone else decides to show up (which we’re not holding our breath for
Roll out the red carpet for YOU I want you to imagine for a moment that you get invited to the Academy Awards in Hollywood. Not only are you going to the Oscars, but you’re going to arrive in the same limousine with Hillary Swank and Clint Eastwood. Can you believe it? For a few moments when you exit that limo, the whole world will see you on television. How long do you think it’ll take you to get dressed that night? How many stores will you shop in before you pick what you’re going to wear? Think about the preparations you might make. Will you diet the week before? You’ll wear your finest jewelry, right? Maybe get a new watch? Spend a little more for a chic hair cut? I’ll admit that it would be a thrill to have the attention of the whole world for a moment. But wouldn’t you rather have one person’s attention for a lifetime? Before I give you your assignment for the week, I want to share with you one more thought about dressing-up. Forget the Oscars for now. When you go to a wedding or a black-tie affair, who are you dressing up for? Think about it. You spend all that time getting ready, putting on your finest clothes,
and looking your best. For who? You might think that I’m suggesting that you’re doing it for all the people who will be at the party. But I don’t think that’s the case. I think you’re doing it for YOU. We spend all that time and energy looking our best for fancy occasions because it makes US feel good. WE feel special. Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with looking your best and feeling good about it. But let me ask you this: What if you got all dressed-up for date night? Who would feel special then? “Honey, why are you all dressedup?” “It’s our date night. I’m dressed up for you!” “REALLY? Oh.: Your assignment: get dressed up for date night this week. You’ll feel good. Your spouse will feel special. And your marriage will get a boost. Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages. In addition to working with couples, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marital situation.
4 October 15, 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS
by the way)! When this is all said and done we are all military spouses. We each love our service members. We each have the same roller coaster feelings as they prepare for a deployment, go off on long training periods and then come home to us. Throughout this time, no one ever mentioned, “What rank is your husband before I help you out?” or “Ohhh, you’re not a ______ spouse?” There was pure and genuine intention through and through. We can all only hope that this camaraderie continues to endure considering the undetermined chaos ahead. Whether we have military balls or not is the least of our concerns right now considering we may not have the gas money to get to said balls. We can just take over a parking lot and turn on someone’s car stereo. Strong women, may you continue to be them, have other women around you that are them, encourage those who are not strong to become them and also raise the next generation of strong women. Questions or comments? Email us at Military Press at keepinformed@ militarypress.com! You can also follow my blog @ http://marinecorpswives101. wordpress.com/.
Lou Diamond Phillips VFW spokesperson The VFW is pleased to announce that renowned actor Lou Diamond Phillips will serve as the official VFW national spokesperson. In addition to being an actor, director, producer and writer, Phillips is also a veterans’ advocate. His biological father, Gerald Upchurch, was in the Navy and Phillips was born on the Subic Bay Naval Base in the Philippines. His own name bears military roots, as he was named after the World War II marine hero, Gunnery Sergeant Lewellyn 'Lew' Diamond. His stepfather, George Phillips, was also in the Navy, serving tours in Vietnam.
The Military Press October 15, 2013 Publisher Richard T. Matz
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Contact Us: 9715 Carroll Centre Road, Suite #104 San Diego, CA 92126 • Tel 858.537.2280 www.militarypress.com editorsdesk@militarypress.com The Military Press Newsmagazine is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Newspaper, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materials appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Appearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press Newspaper. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscription by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses.
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Five reasons to fear the debt ceiling By the Editors www.Bloomberg.com The global economy is facing a bizarre man-made threat: Radical legislators in the U.S., issuer of the world’s most trusted currency, think forcing the government to renege on its obligations would be a good way to shock it into recognizing the error of its fiscally imprudent ways. Lest anyone take this notion seriously, here’s what would happen if that threat were carried out.
What exactly is the debt ceiling?
To keep spending, the government needs Congress to pass a spending law. Republicans have already blocked this, resulting in a partial government shutdown. Now they are threatening the separate and much more disruptive step of refusing to raise the federal debt ceiling, currently set at $16.7 trillion. Spending exceeds revenue, so without permission to borrow more, the government can’t pay its bills even if a law to allow spending goes through. If the debt ceiling stays in place, the Treasury will run short of cash soon after Oct. 17. At that point: 1. Global markets will see the U.S. government as grossly and dangerously incompetent. Refusing to raise the debt ceiling is fundamentally different from cutting the government’s funding. It’s as if Congress were sending the Treasury two contradictory and legally binding orders — one that requires it to make hundreds of billions of dollars a month in payments, another that prevents it from borrowing the money it needs to do so. Which order is the Treasury supposed to obey? This is the stuff of absurdist theater. Confidence matters, and this event would destroy confidence. 2. Forced spending cuts will kill the economic recovery. Over the course of a year, the Treasury borrows roughly $1 out of every $5 it spends, so hitting the debt ceiling would require it to cut outlays by about a fifth — and by much more in the short term, because flows into and out of the Treasury are lumpy. Such a severe fiscal squeeze would crush a still-tentative recovery at a time when widespread unemployment is threatening to do permanent damage to the country’s productive capacity. 3. The U.S. government might actually default on its debts. Some in Congress apparently think that hitting the debt ceiling needn’t mean missing a payment on the $12 trillion in government bonds outstanding — an event that markets would call a default, which could trigger a financial catastrophe (see No. 4). The House of Representatives has passed legislation to authorize the Treasury to prioritize
such payments. Even if the Senate passed that measure, which it has refused to do so far, it might not be enough. The Treasury processes more than 80 million separate payments a month, using an elderly system that wasn’t designed for debt-ceiling damage control. Money to bondholders goes through a separate channel called Fedwire, so some segregation might be possible — but accidents are all too probable, and a payment could easily go missing. Markets are aware of the risk: Yields of Treasury bills maturing in the second part of October are abnormally high, suggesting that investors are demanding compensation. The cost of insuring against a U.S. default has almost doubled. 4. A default could trigger a global crash. Treasury bonds are the foundation of the U.S. and global financial systems. Their yields serve as benchmarks for interest rates on mortgages and corporate bonds. Securities dealers in the U.S. hold some $1.9 trillion in Treasuries as collateral on loans to hedge funds, banks and other financial companies. Mutual funds, pension plans and corporations rely on interest payments from Treasuries to meet their obligations to investors, retirees and workers. The slightest concern about the U.S. government’s ability or willingness to pay could prompt investors to demand a higher return on the bonds and dealers to toughen the terms on which they accept Treasuries as collateral. That would abruptly raise the cost of credit for everyone — or else freeze financial markets altogether. Economists have estimated that a few missed Treasury-bond payments in 1979, the result of a brief technical glitch, pushed up interest rates by 0.6 percentage point and boosted the U.S. government’s borrowing costs by $12 billion a year. It’s hard to overstate the danger. Picture a crisis in which markets froze and the U.S. government was unable to act because its own creditworthiness was the cause of the panic. 5. The government’s fiscal problems will only get worse. It’s true that U.S. finances are on a troubling long-term trajectory: The government has promised more to future retirees than taxpayers seem willing to pay. But in the current impasse, this issue is barely on the table. Meanwhile, heightened fears among investors will increase the government’s cost of borrowing. Even a rise of 1 percentage point would increase the government’s costs by $120 billion a year. The longer-term fiscal problem is readily soluble. Threatening a sovereign default, with all the enormous risks it entails, is not part of the solution. Arguing otherwise carries irresponsibility into the realm of insanity.
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October 15, 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS 5
George H.W. Bush (Born June 12, 1924) 41st Vice President of the United States
“We don’t want an America that is closed to the world. What we want is a world that is open to America.” — George H.W. Bush
Dan Quayle (Born Feb. 4, 1947) 44th Vice President of the United States
World events
• Operation Desert Storm U.N. Coalition Force led by the U.S. and including many Arab and European countries, bombs Iraq forces in Kuwait. After one month of bombing, land invasion forces Iraq out of Kuwait and back to Iraq. • Boris Yeltsin wins first free elections for Russia’s first popularly-elected president. • Dead Sea Scroll is unveiled. • Start of the Balkan War. • USSR is dissolved. • Lech Walesa elected President of Poland.
• Journalist Terry Anderson is released after seven years’ captivity as a hostage in Beirut.
U.S. news
• Seventy tornadoes break out in the central U.S., killing 17. • Dow Jones average topped 3,000 for the first time. • Mike Tyson is arrested and charged with raping Desiree Washington. • Jeffrey Dahmer is arrested after the remains of 11 men
and boys are found in his Milwaukee, Wis., apartment. • Former U.S. postal worker Joseph Harris kills his former girlfriend and her fiance and two former coworkers at the post office in Ridgewood, New Jersey, which resulted in the phrase “going postal.” • The U.S. and Soviet Union sign the START Treaty. • 911 Emergency Number begins.
Technology
• Internet is made available to unrestricted commercial use. • Linus Torvaids releases first version of the Linux operating system kernel. • Microsoft releases MS Dos 5.0. • Blue roses produced by genetic engineering. • The ice covering the Arctic has decreased by 2% in the last 10 years. • Tropical rain forests shrink by 1% annually.
1991 Dodge Viper
6 October 15, 2013 MILITARY PRESS Page 6 October 1, THE 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS
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1991 AMC Javelin
1 9 19
remember when...
• Income per year $29,4 30 • Minimum wage $3.80 • New house $120,000 • New car $11,700 • Gallon of gas $1.12 • Lb. of bacon $1.95 • Loaf of bread 73¢ • Dozen eggs 85¢ • Gallon of milk $2.80 • First-class stamp 25¢
BORN IN 1991: Above right: Jamie Lynn Spears. Right: Emma Roberts, Samuel Larsen, Kelsey Chow, Erik Per Sullivan.
• Tim Berners-Lee introduces the web browser. • Spread of cholera reaches near epidemic proportions
Popular movies
• Terminator 2: Judgment Day • JFK
Popular music
• Natalie Cole, “Unforgettable” • Michael Bolton, “When A Man Loves A Woman” • REM, “Out of Time” • Boyz II Men, “Cooleyhighharmony” • Luther Vandross, “Power of Love” • LL Cool J, “Mama Said Knock You Out” • Nirvana, “Nevermind” • Bryan Adams, “Everything I Do, I Do It For You” • Roxette, “Joyride” • Metallica, “Metallica” • Pearl Jam, “10” • Michael Jackson, “Dangerous” • M.C. Hammer, “Too Legit To Quit”
Popular TV shows
• Robin Hood Prince of Thieves • Beauty and the Beast • Silence of the Lambs • The Addams Family • Cape Fear • Hot Shots • City Slickers • Bugsy • Boyz n the Hood
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• Designing Women • Full House • Home Improvement • Coach • Fresh Prince of Bel Air • Wings • Cosby Show • Simpsons • Twin Peaks • Beverly Hills 90210 • Married With Children
1991 Elan
October 15, 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS October 15, 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS Page77
It takes longer to compose texts that contain a lie By Lily Hay Newman Huffingtonpost.com Most people lie. Whether it’s once and a while or daily, everyone has to do their thing and sometimes lying seems like the best way to make it all work. But liars have tells, which can be just as important in life as in poker. And a new study suggests that people take longer to respond to texts when they’re cooking up a lie. Just one more thing to factor into the social calculus. Researchers at Brigham Young University found that texts containing a lie took longer to compose and were often shorter than truthful texts. This makes sense, but even armed with the knowledge humans are still poor lie detectors. The researchers found that through exact measurement and modeling they could predict SMS lies more accurately. “Un-
fortunately, humans are terrible at detecting deception. We’re creating methods to correct that,” BYU researcher Tom Meservy said. The study, which is being published in ACM Transactions on Management Information Systems, looked at 100 subjects who answered 30 questions in an IM/texting-style conversation on a computer. Before the study began they were directed to lie in about half their answers. The subjects took 10 percent longer writing their Humans can only identify a lie 54 percent of the time, so really we might as well be guessing. And we’re even worse in communication media like text messaging where people can’t observe each other. Of course there are a lot of reasons that people don’t respond to text messages right away, but lying is definitely one of them. They also might not like you.
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Intelligence community furloughs 70 percent during shutdown By Kris Osborn The Office of the Director of National Intelligence says the ongoing government shutdown has resulted in the furlough of more than 70-percent of the intelligence communities’ civilian workforce, greatly impacting its effectiveness. “Today, less than 30 percent of Intelligence Community employees are on the job and those who are working are stretched so thin that they are only able to focus on the most critical security needs,” Shawn Turner, DNI spokesman told Military .com. “The longer this goes on, the more the Intelligence Community’s ability to identify threats
and provide information for a broad set of national security decisions will be diminished.” The DNI oversees a 16-agency conglomerate of intelligence gathering agencies which includes the National Security Agency, Defense Intelligence Agency, Central Intelligence Agency, Department of Homeland Security, National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency and many more such as Army, Navy and Air Force intelligence gathering organizations. In addition to the impact the shutdown is having on intelligence gathering, Turner also emphasized the potentially substantial impact to the in-
telligence community workforce. “Beyond the impact the shutdown has on our mission, there’s a very real and significant impact on the lives of the men and women who serve in the IC. More than half of our current workforce joined after 9/11. They’re young people with young families living and working in the Washington D.C. area and if this shutdown goes on for an extended period, many of them will face challenges making ends meet,” Turner said. The intelligence communities’ broad set of missions includes surveillance and reconnaissance, a variety of intelligence gathering operations, monitoring
troop movements, assessing potential enemy military activity as well as locating and tracking potential plots against the U.S., among many other things. With this in mind, one analyst said a large-scaled furlough of this nature is likely to have an impact on time-sensitive intelligence-gathering activities. “Most intelligence is highly perishable. When you furlough 70-percent of the workforce, most of the others are doing critical minute-to-minute tasks. What can get lost is the intermediate stuff – like tracking things over a period of days,” said Daniel Goure, vicepresident of the Lexington Institute, a Virginia-based think tank.
EDUCATION
Military priests told they can skip gay weddings By Adam Mathis The organization that oversees Roman Catholic priests in the military has issued a set of guidelines emphasizing that clergy are not obligated to participate in any ceremony that endorses same-sex relationships. “No Catholic priest or deacon may be forced by any authority to witness or bless the union of couples of the same gender,” read a letter from Archbishop Timothy P. Broglio, dated Sept. 17, published by the Archdiocese for the Military Services, USA. The Catholic Church opposes gay marriage. A spokesman for the archdiocese said in an email that Broglio’s letter was published in response to requests from “many chaplains for guidance” following the Department of Defense announcement that it would recognize same-sex marriages and extend benefits to gay spouses. The guidance comes just weeks after the North American Mission Board — the mission arm of the Southern Baptist Convention, which is responisible for the largest share of active-duty military chaplains — prohibited members from participating in services for same-sex couples, including weddings, counseling sessions and couples’ retreats. Earlier this month, the DOD released a statement, which reads in part: “The Department of Defense respects, places a high value on, and supports by policy the rights of members of the military services to observe the tenets of their respective religions or to have no religious beliefs. The Department does not endorse religion or any one religion or religious organization, and provides to the maximum extent possible for the free exercise of religion by all members of the military services whoadvertising choose to do so.” For information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
October 15, 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS 9
said, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $775 a week.” “That’s very fair, your honor.” the husband said “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself!”
Watch out
A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies,”I just got this state-of the-art watch and I was just testing it..” The intrigued woman says, “A stateof-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?” The cowboy explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.” The lady says, “What”s it telling you now?” Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.” The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!” The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, “Damn thing’s an hour fast.”
Just for Laughs Q&A
Q: What has eighty feet and three teeth? A: The front row of a Billy Ray Cyrus concert.
Nutty
Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park. Judge: What were you doing? 1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond. Judge: And what were you doing? 2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too.” Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well? 3rd man: No, sir. I AM Peanuts!
Divorce court
PUZZLE PAGE
“Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,” the divorce court judge
Short takes
A husband feeling a bit randy goes to the bathroom and returns with four aspirin and a glass of water for his wife. He says, “Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water.”
ACROSS 1. Smack 5. Make into law 10. Catholic church service 14. Prong 15. More recent 16. Killer whale 17. Atop 18. Accumulation 20. Deliberately impassive in manner 22. Body suit 23. Shade tree 24. Models 25. Interruptions 32. Wolf cries 33. Master of ceremonies 34. Letter after sigma 37. On the road 38. Muse of love poetry 39. Colored part of an eye 40. K 41. Line dance 42. Positive pole 43. Not asked for DOWN 45. Slumber 1. An upright in a wall 49. Mesh 2. Sponge 50. A mild powdered 3. Dwarf buffalo seasoning 4. In an affectionate 53. Helps manner 57. Excessive 5. Bivouac 59. Found in some 6. A noble gas lotions 7. Hole-making tool 60. Stow, as cargo 8. Mobile phone 61. Style of interior 9. Tall woody plant furnishings 10. Slogan 62. Story 11. Operatic solos 63. Fastened 12. Gain points in a 64. Used a broom game 65. Visual organs 13. Smooths
10 October 15, 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS
19. Thicket 21. Add 25. East Indian tree 26. Hawkeye State 27. Go to and fro 28. Small slender gulls 29. Insect stage 30. In base 8 31. Prefix meaning “Modern” 34. Gait faster than a walk 35. Assistant 36. Utilized 38. Many millennia 39. Start
She replied, “But honey I do not have a headache!” He replied, “Thank God!” A man asks his friend, “Do you ever talk to your wife during sex?” His friend replies, “Yeah, if she calls…” A totally naked woman rushed into a taxi. The driver tuned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, “Why are you staring at me that way? Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman?” The taxi driver replied, “No, I just wonder where you have my money.” Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, “Give him two Viagra.” Nurse asks, “Do you think that will help?” Dr replies, “No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!!!” I went into the Shell gas station this morning and asked for five dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt. A man walks into a crowded local bar brandishing a revolver yelling, “Who’s been screwing my wife?” A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, “You don’t have enough ammo, mate!” A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There’s a fully equipped bar with
41. Roman god of love 42. Air force heroes 44. Enclose 45. Slopped 46. Hawaiian veranda 47. Lyric poem 48. Made a mistake 51. Children 52. Again 53. At the peak of 54. Kill 55. Lacquered metalware 56. Views 58. Card with one symbol
crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. He hears a priest come in. “Father, forgive me for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.” The priest replies, “Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side!” The ambitious coach of a girls track team gives the squad steroids. The team’s performance soars. They win the county, state and eventually national championship. A few days before the international grand finals, Penelope, a 16-year-old hurdler visits her coach and says, “Coach, I have a problem. Hair is starting to grow on my chest.” “What?” the coach says in a panic, “How far down does it go?” Penelope replies, “Down to my testicles. That’s something else I want to talk to you about.” A lawyer, an economist, and a teacher were going to the bathroom. The lawyer gets done, washes his hands, and then proceeds to use almost the entire roll of paper towels to dry his hands. He says, “I was taught to be thorough.” The economist gets done, washes his hands, but uses only one paper towel. He says, “I was taught to be environmentally friendly.” The teacher gets done and leaves without washing his hands. He says “I was taught not to go on my hands.”
SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.
This week’s solutions:
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New model homes now open in Temecula.
Come out this weekend to experience all that Roripaugh Ranch has to offer.
Discover new Built to Order ™ neighborhoods. The Pinnacle at Roripaugh Ranch in Temecula From the mid $400s • • • •
2,196–4,422 sq. ft., 3–7 bedrooms, 2.5–5 baths master-planned gated community with great on-site amenities part of the distinguished Temecula USD solar power system included
31144 Maverick Lane, Temecula, CA 92592
From I-15 or I-215, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east and travel approx. 4.5 mi. Turn right on Crown Ranch Rd. to sales center. (951) 239-1635
Broker Cooperation Welcome. ©2013 KB Home (KBH). A 1.5kW solar power system is included as a standard component of a new KB home at The Pinnacle at Roripaugh Ranch. Energy bill savings are based on estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas for a home as designed (not as built) with the corresponding solar power system compared to estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas without the system. KBH makes no guarantee of energy production by any solar power system installed with a home or of energy costs or savings, if any, experienced by any homeowner. Energy costs and savings, if any, will vary by floor plan, home size, occupancy, daily activities, appliance usage, thermostat settings, climate conditions and orientation of the home and the solar power system size and operating conditions, among other factors. KBH reserves the right to modify, discontinue or replace any solar options at any time without prior notice. Other restrictions and limitations may apply. Solar power systems are supplied by SunPower Corporation®. KBH and SunPower Corporation are independent companies. SunPower and the SunPower logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of SunPower Corporation. See Built to Order™ options and upgrades offered at KB Home Studio. All options/upgrades require additional charges and ordering at predetermined stages of construction, and are subject to change/discontinuation anytime by KB Home. KB Home is not a custom homebuilder. Plans, pricing, financing, terms, availability and specifications subject to change/prior sale without notice and may vary by neighborhood, lot location and home series. Buyer responsible for all taxes, insurance and other fees. Sq. footage is approximate. HOA applies. ARTIST’S CONCEPTION: Illustration may depict upgraded landscaping/options and may not represent lowest-priced homes. Photo does not depict racial preference. Military images and/or information do not reflect nor imply endorsement by Dept. of Defense or Service Branch. See sales representative for details. KB Home Sales–Southern California Inc. (CA Real Estate License 00242327). SOCAL-111503
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October 15, 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS 11
12 October 15, 2013 THE MILITARY PRESS
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