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Is the death penalty a joke? Despite spending more than any other state on its implementation and administration, California today is saddled with a death penalty law that can be described only as completely dysfunctional. We have the longest death row in America, with approximately 700 inmates awaiting execution. Typically, the lapse of time between sentence and execution is twenty-five years, twice the national average, and is growing wider each year. One hundred nineteen inmates have spent more than twenty years on California’s death row. Most of them will certainly die before they are ever executed.
continued on next page
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3 former California governors back proposed death penalty initiative By Linda Deutsch AP Special Correspondent LOS ANGELES (AP) — Three former California governors announced a proposed ballot initiative in February designed to speed up the state’s lengthy death penalty process. Former Govs. George Deukmejian, Pete Wilson and Gray Davis said they were launching a signature-gathering effort for the measure that would limit appeals available to death row inmates, remove the prisoners from special death row housing, and require them to work at prison jobs in order to pay restitution to victims. The former governors, appearing with law enforcement officials at a news conference, made it clear they want executions to begin as soon as possible. There are more than 700 prisoners on California’s death row. “Old age should not be the leading cause of death on death row,” former Gov. Pete Wilson said. They agreed the death penalty system is crippled by waste and inefficiency. “We all know the death penalty system is broken at the appellate level,” said former Los Angeles County District Attorney Steve Cooley. His predecessor in that job, Gil
Garcetti, is leading the opposition to the initiative and was a proponent of Proposition 34, the 2012 ballot measure that would have repealed the death penalty in California. The vote was 48 percent in favor and 52 percent opposed, one of the closest votes ever on a death penalty referendum. A statement from the former governors said “Californians overwhelmingly reaffirmed their support for the death penalty” with the vote on Prop. 34. Executions have been halted since 2006 because of lawsuits in federal and state courts over changing a three-drug lethal-injection method that had been used to carry out death sentences. Asked about the availability of drugs to carry out executions, the governors said they could not comment and that would be an issue for the California Department of Corrections. Two relatives of victims spoke and decried the length of time it takes to resolve a death penalty appeal. Phyllis Loya said it took four years for an attorney to be assigned to a man convicted of killing her son. Davis said it can take 10 years before a federal application for review of a death penalty case is resolved and another 10 years to clear state appel-
late courts. San Bernardino County District Attorney Michael Ramos, representing the California District Attorneys Association, said if the initiative passes there would be no frivolous appeals and the state would see enormous fiscal savings. With the initiative, backers want to bypass automatic appeals to the California Supreme Court and instead distribute them to other appeals courts unless it is necessary for a case to be heard by the high court. Absent from the press conference were former Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and current Gov. Jerry Brown.
JOKE
Cont’d. from Page 2 Since restoration of the death penalty in 1978, the leading cause of death on California’s death row has been death by natural causes (57),followed by suicides (20), other causes (6), and executions (13). For all practical purposes, a sentence of death in California is a sentence of life imprisonment without the possibility of parole. The only
Brown is personally opposed to the death penalty but has said he would abide by the law. He declined comment on the proposed initiative Thursday. Garcetti called the initiative a misguided effort and predicted legal challenges would take decades to resolve. Anna Zamora of the American Civil Liberties Union of Northern California later issued a statement saying: “This flawed proposal will only make matters worse. It will create more delays and overburden our already strained court system. Worst of all, it will greatly increase the risk that California could execute an innocent person.” difference is that the individual serves the life sentence on death row, while the state forks out millions of dollars to process appeals and habeas corpus proceedings. Additionally, the cost of confinement is quadruple what it would be if the individual was serving the life sentence in a maximum security prison, where those sentenced to life imprisonment normally serve their sentences. How did we create this mess?
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Pros and cons of the death penalty By Kathy Gill
Theory of DeterrencePro/Con
There are two common arguments in support of capital punishment: that of deterrence and that of retribution. According to Gallup, most Americans believe that the death penalty is a deterrent to homicide, which helps them justify their support for capital punishment. Other Gallup research suggests that most Americans would not support capital punishment if it did not deter murder. Does capital punishment deter violent crimes? In other words, will a potential murderer consider the possibility that they might be convicted and face the death penalty before committing a murder? The answer appears to be "no." Social scientists have mined empirical data searching for the definitive answer on deterrence since the early 20th century. And "most deterrence research has found that the death penalty has virtually the same effect as long imprisonment on homicide rates." Studies suggesting otherwise (notably writings of Isaac Ehrlich from the 1970s) have been, in general, criticized for methodological errors. Ehrlich's work was also criticized by the National Academy of Sciences - but it is still cited as a rationale for deterrence. A 1995 survey of police chiefs and country sheriffs found that most ranked the death penalty last in a list of six options that might deter violent crime. Their top two picks? Reducing
drug abuse and fostering an economy that provides more jobs. Data on murder rates seem to discredit the deterrence theory as well. The region of the county with the greatest number of executions — the South — is the region with the largest murder rates. For 2010, the average murder rate in states with the death penalty was 4,78; the average murder rate of the 18 states without the death penalty was 4.13. Thus deterrence, which is offered as a reason to support capital punishment ("pro"), doesn't wash.
Theory of RetributionPro/Con
In Gregg v Georgia, the Supreme Court wrote that "[t]he instinct for retribution is part of the nature of
man..." The theory of retribution rests, in part, on the Old Testament and its call for "an eye for an eye." Proponents of retribution argue that "the punishment must fit the crime." According to The New American: "Punishment — sometimes called retribution — is the main reason for imposing the death penalty." Opponents of retribution theory believe in the sanctity of life and often argue that it is just as wrong for society to kill as it is for an individual to kill. Others argue that what drives American support for capital punishment is the "impermanent emotion of outrage." Certainly, emotion not reason seems to be the key behind support for capital punishment.
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FOCUS ON...
Making a ‘move book’ helps kids Moves are hard, especially for children. To help make this time of transition easier, FOCUS encourages parents to help their kids create a move book. A move book is just what it sounds like, a story about a move; more specifically it is a story about your move. These books are not just a simple story, they are also a way to communicate with your kids about the move, provide them foreknowledge of what is going to happen, offer them a sense of control, and add a little bit of fun to an often boring process.
Creating a move book is fun and easy, simply follow these steps: 1. Move books can be created using any medium. They can be written, typed, drawn, or collaged. 2. Start by adding in some basic facts about your child and your family. “My name is Lily and I have 4 people in my family. Right now we live in Colorado but very soon we will be moving to Georgia.” 3. Add in any details you have about the timing of the move. You can list out the information or draw a calendar
right into the book. 4. Write or draw out the sequence of events that will happen during the move. This activity provides the same benefit as a routine; in that your child will know what comes next. This is especially important when it’s not possible to keep your normal routine. “First, we will pack up all our stuff. Next, movers will come and load it all up into a big van. Then we will get in our car and start driving to our new home. We
get to stop in Nebraska and see Grandma along the way…” 5. Once you have spelled out the sequence of events, it is time to add information about the place you are moving to. There are no limits to what kind of information you can add. You can add specific information about what your house will look like, or what school your child will be attending. If you don’t know those details yet you can just put in information about the weather, the scenery, and anything in
your new location that your child might look forward to. 6. Somewhere in the book it is also helpful to talk about feelings. First, you can describe how you feel about the move, and talk about how other Strengthening people might the Home Base feel when they move. Then, if your child is comfortable doing so, you can add in their feelings about the move. It is important for your child to voice both positive and negative feelings about the move; this will help them understand that you can have several different feelings about the same event. It is also a chance for you to talk to them about healthy ways to deal with uncomfortable feelings, like taking a deep breath or hugging their favorite stuffed animal. 7. Once you have created your book, make sure to read it regularly with your child so that the information really sinks in. Reading the book regularly also provides a chance for your child to talk and ask questions about the move. Remember that this book is a work in progress, your child can always add
in new feelings they might be having about the move or new things that they are looking forward to. Even after the move, it can be helpful to add information about the parts of the move that may have gone differently than they expected or to make a list of their favorite things about their new home. FOCUS (Families OverComing Under Stress) is a resiliency-building program of the Navy Bureau of Medicine and Surgery (BUMED). FOCUS is an eight-session training program for military families that is grounded in more than two decades of research and experience serving families dealing with stress and changes. FOCUS is specifically adapted for the needs of military couples, children, and families and provides training in core resilience skills. These skills increase closeness, support, communication, and adaptability. Couples and families learn to work together to manage difficult emotions, set goals and problem solve, communicate clearly and effectively, and develop customized strategies to deal with ongoing stress and change.
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March 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 5
John F. Kennedy 35th President of the United States Served from Jan. 20, 1961 to Nov. 22, 1963
“A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the men it honors, the men it remembers.” — John F. Kennedy
Lyndon B. Johnson 37th Vice President of the United States Served from Jan. 20, 1961 to Nov. 22, 1963 (ascended to President upon Kennedy’s assassination)
World news
• Cuban Missile Crisis, Oct. 15 to Nov. 20, when USSRs plans to deploy missiles to Cuba brings the world to the brink of world war, the U.S. blockades Cuba and the USSR agrees to dismantle Soviet silos • The UN General Assembly passes a resolution condemning South Africa’s racist apartheid policies and calls for all UN member states to cease military and economic relations with the nation • East German border guards shoot attempted escapee Peter Fechter and leave him to die on the Berlin Wall • Air France Boeing 707 crashes on take-off at Orly Airport in Paris
transAtlantic television signal • Air Force investigates using lasers to intercept mis-
• Algeria gains independence from France • Jamaica gains independence from Great Britain
U.S. news
• Marilyn Monroe is found dead on Aug. 5 after apparently overdosing on sleeping pills • Rioting on University of Mississippi campus following Black student James Meredith attempting to enroll ending when federal troops and marshals take control
• The U.S. Navy SEALs are created on January 1 as the U.S. Navy’s principal special operations force. The special force was in existence prior dating back to WWII when the Navy “Scouts and Raiders” was formed. • The first Wal-Mart discount store is opened by Sam Walton in Bentonville, Arkansas
Technology
• The first U.S. rocket Ranger IV lands on the moon • John H. Glenn Jr. becomes the first American to orbit the earth during Friendship 7 orbit • Telstar relays the first live
siles • 90% of U.S. households own a TV set • Britain and France agree to develop the Concorde • The first use of silicone breast implants by Houston plastic surgeons
Sports
• Superbowl: Packers over the Giants, 16 to 7 • NBA Finals: Boston Celtics defeated Lakers 4 games to 3
Popular culture
• Beatles turned down by Decca Records • Release of first Beatles recording, the single “Love Me Do” • Andy Warhol’s famous painting of a can of soup • John Carson begins as presenter for The Tonight Show
1962 Ford Thunderbird Roadster
6 March 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
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2 6 19
remember when...
1962 Chrysler 300G
AVERAGE COST OF LIVING
BORN THIS YEAR: Above right: Tom Cruise. Above left: Ralph Fiennes, Joan Cusack, Wesley Snipes and Gina Gershon.
Popular films
• West Side Story • Spartacus • Lawrence of Arabia • To Kill a Mockingbird • Mutiny on the Bounty • Dr. No • Lolita • Gypsy
Popular music
• “Stranger on the Shore,” Mr. Acker Bilk • “I Can’t Stop Loving You,” Ray Charles • “Mashed Potato Time,” Dee Dee Sharp • “Roses Are Red,” Bobby Vinton • “The Stripper,” David Rose • “Johnny Angel,” Shelly Fabares • “The Loco-Motion,” Little Eva • “Let Me In,” Sensations • “The Twist,” Chubby Checker • “Soldier Boy,” Shirelles
Popular TV shows
• Beverly Hillbillies • The Virginian • The Alfred Hitchcock Hour • McHale’s Navy • Combat! • The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson • The Saint
• Income per year ....... $5,556 • Minimum wage ........... $1.25 • New house ............ $12,500 • Monthly rent ................. $110 • New car .................... $3,125 • Gallon of gas .................. 28¢ • Dozen eggs .................... 32¢ • Gallon of milk ................. 54¢ • Loaf of bread .................. 20¢ • First-class stamp .............. 4¢ • Movie ticket .................... 50¢
Born this year
• Jim Carrey • Steve Carell • Jodie Foster • Demi Moore • Matthew Broderick • Ally Sheedy
1962 Chevy Corvette For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
March 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 7
Right, F-16 Falcon from Colorado National Air Guard coming in for refueling. Below, F-16 Fighting Falcons from Shaw AFB. Bottom, KC-135 ready for take off.
HEALTH
By Douglas Aguillard As anyone who is into Military Aviation knows, the Red Flag exercise is held several times a year at Nellis Air Force Base, just north of Las Vegas, NV. It is probably the most media-covered exercise each and every year. At the last two Red Flag exercises in 2013, I was scheduled to fly with the U.S. Air Force in their KC-135 Tanker plane, but due to some major miscommunications, the mission failed, and it was two long trips back to San Diego from Las Vegas. Well the third time is the charm for me. On February 10, I found myself back at the Nellis Air Force Base’s parking lot, getting into a van to go on base and get on a plane again. There were five of us: the editor from Combat Aircraft Magazine, Jamie Hunter; my new friend Ivan Voukadinov, who is one of the best Aviation photographers that I know; and two others. This year’s Red Flag flights would be a little different from others past. No longer was there a Red Flight, which covers the Aggressor’s fighters of the 57th Wing, both the 64th and 65th Aggressor Squadrons, both stationed at Nellis AFB. Only Blue flights would host the media. Ivan and I boarded our Boeing KC135, while the others jumped on another. The crew of our plane consisted of pilot Captain Alex Duke, co-pilot by Robbi Bethancourt, and boom operator Airman Ryan Kemp. All are attached to the 92nd Air Refueling Wing out of Fairchild AFB, Washington. We settled into our seats after the safety briefing, and soon were in the air and climbing high into the sunny blue skies replete with huge billowy white clouds. We headed north and were over Southern Utah I believe when the first of the fighters started to show up for refueling. In three hours, we refueled fighters from: • The 1st Fighter Wing, 27th Fighter Squadron, F-22As, from Langley AFB, Virginia. • The 20th Fighter Wing, 55th Fighter Squadron, F-16CMs, from Shaw AFB, South Carolina • The 140th Fighter Wing, 120th Fighter Squadron, F-16C, from Buckley AFB, Colorado. This was my first air-to-air with modern military aircraft, and what a blast it was. Lucky for Ivan and myself, our windows were clean and free from the hydraulic oil that sometimes forms a thin sheet on the windows making it difficult to photograph anything. I shot through both side windows of the RC135, and then down though the windows in the tail of the plane where the boom operator is located while refueling is taking place. After landing, I drove back to San Diego. I was just so happy that the fivehour drive felt like only a few. I want to thank the U.S. Air Force, the Base , , , , , , , PAOs, and the crew of our tanker flight for some of the best moments of my life. www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
SOME WOUNDS LEAVE NO SCARS.
One in five Iraq and Afghanistan veterans suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or major depression. Learn more or find out how you can help at woundedwarriorproject.org.
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8 March 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
Red Flag Tanker Flight
Navy boosts sea pay for Sailors and Marines
By James Kimber www.starsandstripes.com TOKYO — Sailors and Marines could see as much as a 25-percent increase in sea pay, according to Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus. This is the first increase in sea pay in more than a decade and is expected to take effect this summer. The adjustment is aimed at keeping pace with the dollar’s inflation rate since October 2001. You need $1.32 today to buy what $1 bought in October 2001, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. “Those sailors and Marines on sea duty, deployed away from home around the world, are the backbone of the Navy and Marine Corps, and enable us to provide and maintain our global presence,” Mabus said in the release. “This change to Career Sea Pay will both im-
prove critical sea-duty manning and reward those who take these challenging sea-going assignments. This increase is long overdue and is meant to reward our sailors and Marines for their continued sacrifices as part of ‘America’s Away Team’.” Additionally, sailors and Marines who have served more than 36 consecutive months in a sea billet will see a boost to the incentive based career sea pay premium. This premium will increase anywhere from $100 per month to $200 per month depending on rank and time at sea.
“It’s long overdue,” Chief of Naval Personnel Vice Adm. Bill Moran said during an all-hands call aboard the USS Bataan earlier this year. “We haven’t adjusted sea pay in over 10 years and we are absolutely convinced that it is the right thing to do for sailors who are committed to sea duty or serving at sea.” Approximately 100,000 sailors receive career sea pay and approximately 13,000 receive career sea pay premium. The Navy expects the increase to cost $66 million per year. Updated chart http://goo.gl/kjTdgC.
Enlisted women on subs
By Gordon Jackson The Brunswick News Enlisted women could begin serving aboard submarines as early as 2016, depending on the interest female sailors have in serving on the boats. Every enlisted woman in the Navy will be asked to participate in an anonymous survey this summer to determine how many would volunteer to serve aboard the vessels. “The ability to attract, recruit and retain quality female sailors is The average veteran waits close to cuts to military pensions was a start. essential to the success of integranine months to learn whether or not Recently, legislation overwhelmingly tion. It will also be a big challenge,” they’ll receive the benefits they’ve passed both the House and Senate to Lt. Timothy Hawkins, spokesman for earned and the care they need from repeal the $6 billion cut to military the task force, said in a statement. the U.S. Department of Veterans Af- pensions. Congress did the right thing Former national Navy League fairs (VA). This process of repeated in addressing this issue. president Sheila McNeill, who now delays and denials is just one of many Second, stop adding layers of buserves as president of Camden Partexamples of a failed veterans support reaucracy that only create more obnership, says she isn’t surprised at network that, despite consistent in- stacles and red tape between veterans the announcement, because of how creases in budgets and personnel, is and the care they deserve. Why are we well female officers have performed failing to keep our nation’s promise to creating new “veterans jobs programs” aboard submarines since the Navy serve those who served our nation. when there are already six of those? lifted the ban in 2010. So how do some in Washington pro- The unemployment rate for Iraq and “It certainly has been a success pose responding to this failure? Incred- Afghanistan veterans continues to hovso far,” McNeill said. “There haven’t ibly, they now propose vastly expand- er above the national average, suggestbeen any issues.” ing the VA’s responsibilities — thereby ing that these programs are less effecRetired Navy Master Chief Royal ensuring the ultimate collapse of an tive than advertised. Weaver of St. Marys says the intealready dysfunctional system. gration of enlisted men and women Bureaucratic complexity is a large That’s the reality of a new veterans’ part of the reason for the VA’s current as sailors will be done most easily services omnibus bill, the Comprehen- travails. The system is already so comon Ohio-class submarines, such as sive Veterans Health and Benefits and plicated that veterans must consult those ported at Naval Submarine Military Retirement Pay Restoration textbooks and advisors just to learn Base Kings Bay, because they are Act of 2014, a $30 billion package in- what resources are available and how the largest submarines in the Navy. troduced in the Senate by Sen. Bernie to access them, often leaving them “Every time the Navy changes, Sanders, a Vermont independent. there are sacrifices,” Weaver said. “I frustrated and lost in the maze of buthink there will be growing pains.” Sanders’ bill, though probably well reaucracy. Expanding the menu of ser“It provides one less area where intended, reflects a typical weakness of vices and programs will only compound they do training or watch movies,” Washington thinking: instead of defin- that problem. Weaver said. ing success based on results, it seeks to Third, don’t flood a broken sysThe close quarters where sailors throw money at the problem. tem with millions of new users. While are constantly bumping into each Over the past 12 years the VA bud- all veterans deserve the care they’ve other -- especially aboard fast-attack get has grown by over $104 billion — earned through honorable service, the subs -- could lead to sexual harassincluding a nearly 58 percent increase Sanders omnibus bill will enable any ment accusations, even if there is no since 2009, according to VA’s own ac- veteran, regardless of disability status, Sgt. Maj. Lanette Wright intent, he said. counting numbers. to immediately enroll in the VA healthwill make history this week Another challenge is where feVA Secretary Eric Shinseki has care system. Estimates suggest this will when she is named the Corps' male chiefs would be berthed, since gone on record admitting that money add over 15 million veterans to a sysfirst female sergeant major the quarters for those serving in the tem that today cannot support a popuis not the problem so the answer is not of a Marine Expeditionary rank are already small. Weaver says more spending. In reality, supporting lation one-third that size. Unit. Wright will take over as it’s most likely that female chiefs America’s veterans requires more than With unprecedented wait times for the 24th Marine Expeditionwould share the same living quarendless spending, which only adds to essential treatment threatening the ary Unit's sergeant major, the ters as other enlisted women. the massive deficits that represent one lives of many of our nation’s ill and infirst female Marine to serve in Once the survey results come in, of the greatest threats to our national jured veterans, why would we now add that capacity since women bea task force will determine specifics security. this additional overwhelming burden gan deploying with the units about integrating women into the Supporting America’s veterans that will certainly increase delays in in the 1990s. Wright currently crews. They are expected to make a require effective leadership and ac- essential care even further? Recent serves in the command inspecdecision by early 2015. countability. In other words, the VA investigations have shed light on the tor general's office with 2nd McNeill says she believes it’s has a failing foundation, so let’s fix the extent of this problem — with veterMarine Logistics Group at important to allow women to serve foundation before we add the window ans dying before receiving routine and Camp Lejeune. She previously aboard submarines because it gives dressing. emergency care. Again, expanding acserved as the sergeant major the Navy the ability to allow the How can we do it? First, making cess beyond veterans with service-confor Marine Medium Helicopter most talented, intelligent women good on the government’s promise to nected conditions will only add to the Squadron 265. to serve aboard the vessels if they our veterans by restoring the recent VA’s worries. choose. For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com March 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 9
Corps names 1st woman to serve as MEU Sergeant Major
VA: focus on results, not more spending
Kobe Bryant not expected to return to Lakers this season By Sam Amick Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant is not expected to return from his fractured left knee this season, a person with knowledge of his situation told USA TODAY Sports. The person spoke on the condition of anonymity because no formal announcement has been made about Bryant’s status. Bryant returned from the Achilles tendon tear he suffered in April on Dec. 8, then fractured his knee six games later and has struggled in his re-
habilitation ever since. The 35-year-old who has won five titles and appeared in 16 All-Star games signed a two-year, $48.5 million extension in late November, so this is hardly the end of his storied career. But with the Lakers plummeting ever so much closer to a top draft pick (they’re tied with the Sacramento Kings for the worst record in the Western Conference at 22-42), it appears Bryant will focus on regaining full strength and returning next season when the Lakers roster, that is in a re-
$1.2 million. Forward Pau Gasol will be a free agent this summer, and Nash’s future is certainly in question as he has played 10 games this season largely because of recurring back soreness. The 40-yearold point guard has one year remaining HOUSING on his deal worth $9.7 million, but said recently that he would still like to play his contract out rather than retire if his body will eventually cooperate. Bryant has shocked the masses before with his ability to achieve the most unlikely of feats, but the person close to him said the current outlook is that Bryant won’t be back until the 2014-15 season. Yet the mental toll of his recovery, it’s safe to say, has been as taxing as the physical price he has paid. When asked about the prospect of returning at All-Star weekend in New Orleans last month, Bryant was vague about his timetable and transparent about the frustration involved in this process. “Just try to get better and then go from there,” he told reporters. “I just try to focus, keep my blinders on and just do what I have to do and not worry too much about what’s going on around you, but just stay focused on what my responsibilities are.” Asked if he could envision a return to All-Star level play, Bryant said, “I hope so…That means you’re one of the Like many people, you might think a new home is best players in the world, so it’s obviout of reach. But we’ll guide you through the home ously a goal of mine to be (in the Allbuilding process, taking the worry out of every Star game).” step. Take your first step and connect with a Pulte This is merely the latest dose of bad news for Lakers fans who haven’t Mortgage Financing Advisor who can answer your caught a break since Bryant’s Achilles financing questions. tendon tear was followed by a firstCentex. Put yourself in a better place.TM round playoff loss in a sweep to the San Antonio Spurs and the departure of center Dwight Howard to the Houston Rockets via free agency in July. Summerhouse at The Lakes, Menifee This week’s revelation that Phil Single-family homes from the $200,000s Jackson could be on the verge of a front-office partnership with the New • Approximately 1,492 to 2,820 sq. ft. with 3- to 6-bedrooms, York Knicks comes at a time when the 2- to 3-baths Laker Nation would surely welcome • Gated community with 3 Lakes, 5 Parks, Jogging/ the 11-time champion coach back into Walking Trails, BBQ/Picnic Areas, 2 Pools, Waterslides, their family. Splash Park Yet while Jackson predicted re29218 Fall River Lane, Menifee, CA 92584, (951) 246-7687 cently that the Lakers would be in for at least one more season of rebuilding, Bryant said at All-Star weekend that GET STARTED AT CENTEX.COM there was still some reason for hope. Closing cost offer available through participation in the Preferred Buyer Rewards Program which includes financing through Pulte Mortgage LLC. Buyers participating in the Preferred Buyer Rewards “This offseason, with all the cap Program will receive a credit at closing in an amount that is up to 3% of the purchase price of the home for the payment of approved closing costs and prepaids. Any unused amount of this credit is space, seems to be right in the Lakers’ the property of the seller and may not be applied to purchase price. The example is based on a VA 30 year fixed rate mortgage, sales price $271,990, loan amount $277,837 which includes a 2.15% VA Funding Fee. Note rate 3.750%/3.955% Annual Percentage Rate effective 02/04/14. The monthly payment of $1,949.91 includes principal, interest, estimated property taxes and hazard insurwheelhouse, in terms of turning things ance. Loan must be for a primary residence. All loans are subject to underwriting and loan qualifications of the lender. Rates, terms, and conditions are subject to change without notice. Pulte Mortgage around pretty quickly,” Bryant said. LLC is an Equal Opportunity Lender. Licensed by the Department of Business Oversight under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. NMLS Entity Identifier #1791. www.pultemortgage.com (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org). Prices shown are estimated base prices, do not include lot premiums or option and are subject to change without notice. Community association fees are required at this community.Additional informa“We’ve never really faltered. We’ve tion regarding these fees can be found in the DRE public report or a separate fact sheet on facilities available at the sales office.Contact a sales associate for details.Pulte Home Corporation is a licensed California real estate broker (lic.#00876003) normally made excellent decisions that ©2014 Centex Homes. Equal Housing Opportunity. All rights reserved. 3/10/2014 put us back in content 10 March 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com building period, likely looks very different. Only Bryant, point guard Steve Nash, and center Robert Sacre are on contract for next season, though guard Nick Young has a player option worth
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Comedy shorts
A Woman’s Prayer
Why don’t aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him silly.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
Just for Laughs Early Alzheimer’s
A man was invited for dinner at a friend’s house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her “My Love,” “Darling,” “Sweetheart,” etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, “That’s really nice after all of these years you’ve been married to keep saying those little pet names.” The host said, “Well, honestly, I’ve forgotten her name.”
Deceiving appearances
PUZZLE PAGE
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, “Sure. You carry the suitcases!”
ACROSS 1. It delivers babies? 6. Not “To” 10. Cried 14. Sound 15. Was a passenger 16. Notion 17. A single-masted ship 18. Biblical garden 19. Affaire d’honneur 20. A large African antelope 22. Beige 23. Pottery oven 24. Preoccupy 26. Winglike 30. Excluding 31. Tear 32. Type of cereal grass 33. Deep cut 35. Operatic solos 39. Plumed 41. Gist 43. Urgency 44. Narrow opening 46. Dull pain 47. Directed 49. Arrive (abbrev.) 50. Not nights 51. Ancient ascetic 54. Resound 56. Ex-servicemen 57. Reporter 63. Is endebted to 64. Nile bird 65. Bird poop 66. Ship part 67. Sea eagle 68. A small island 69. Countercurrent
Vacation plans
Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other: “Funny, I smell carrots too.” What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? el-if-i-no Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.
Two muffins are in the oven. One says to the other “Wow it’s hot in here.” The other one replies “Oh no... It’s a talking muffin.”
Language barrier
A redneck who was staying in a hotel in Little Rock phoned room service for some pepper. “Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the desk clerk “Toilette pepper!”
Following orders
Can’t believe I’ve been banned from Walmart. Apparently when the checkout girl said “strip down facing me,” she was talking about my credit card.
Mister, please
An attractive lady and an old man are sitting next to each other on a bus, the following conversation takes place. Lady: Can you help me get something off my chest please? Old man: Yeah sure it would be my pleasure, what is it? Lady: Your eyes.
70. Canines 71. Not those DOWN 1. Cummerbund 2. A city in western Russia 3. Smell 4. Violent disturbance 5. 1/100th of a ruble 6. Mooches 7. Rats 8. Poems 9. Guide 10. Widely circulated
11. Draw forth 12. Equals 13. Anklebone 21. Overindulge 25. Partiality 26. Eyebrow shape 27. Former Italian currency 28. Air force heroes 29. Worriedly 34. Female heirs 36. Ancient Peruvian 37. Sore 38. Views 40. Adolescent
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, “Ya know, I reckon I’m ‘bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I’m gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn’t get pregnant again.” Luther asks Billy Bob, “So, what you gonna do this year that’s different?” Billy Bob says, “This year I’m taking Earline with me.”
Tax payers burden
Dear Internal Revenue Service: Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached ar-
42. An elongated leather strip 45. Old World plover 48. Turned down 51. Call forth 52. Stitched 53. Horse 55. On the up and up 58. River of Spain 59. Hurry 60. A period of discounted prices 61. 1 1 1 1 62. Memo
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ticle from the USA Today newspaper, dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600.00 per toilet seat. I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the “Presidential Election Fund,” as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5 “ Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5” Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience. It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year. Sincerely, A Satisfied Taxpayer
SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.
This week’s solutions:
VA, cont’d. on Page 25 March 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 11
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