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July 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 1

Don’t know Shiite from shinola By Ilana Mercer

Almost unanimous on the right is the mystifying notion that a reduced American footprint in the world, President Barack Obama’s doing, has brought about the “sudden” eruption across Iraq of a particularly savage faction of Sunni fundamentalists called the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS). This small band of zealots has conquered a third of Iraq, including the metropolis of Mosul, from which 500,000 residents have fled. Tikrit too is under ISIS control. Fallujah fell in January. continued on next page >>>

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Odd too is the idea that ISIS, currently barreling toward the capital, Baghdad, is somehow a new killer on the block. While the gang, led by newcomer Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, is not as ancient as the Egyptian goddess by the same name—ISIS was previously known as Al Qaida in Iraq (A.Q.I.), reflecting its earlier, more modest mission. A.Q.I. was the brainchild of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, described aptly in the New Yorker as, “A Jordanian who had been a convicted thief and sex criminal before turning to radical Islam.” Commensurate with its morphing, expansive ambitions, A.Q.I. changed its name to ISIS. Whereas “Al Qaida was originally envisioned as a kind of Sunni foreign legion, which would defend Muslim lands from Western occupation,” writes New Yorker staffer Lawrence Wright, “Zarqawi had a different goal in mind. He hoped to provoke an Islamic civil war.” George W. Bush’s invasion primed Iraq for Zarqawi’s purposes. “There was no better venue than the fractured state of Iraq, which sits astride the Sunni-Shiite fault line.” So savage and extreme is ISIS, always has been, that it had been “booted out of the Al Qaida consortium,” attests Wright. Remember the “Dear Al (Zarqawi)” letter penned by Ayman alZawahiri to Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, in 2005? In it, Bin Laden’s Capo Bastone (Zawahiri) had asked the lieutenant (Zarqawi) to reconsider the wisdom of slaughtering so many Shia civilians in Iraq. Al-Z No. 1 broached the topic by counseling Al-Z No. 2 about the wisdom of bringing “the Muslim masses to the mujahed movement.” To that end, killing so many of them was probably unhelpful. Yes, the Shia are a handful— theologically problematic—conceded Zawahiri. Suspect too was the Shia’s history of “connivance with the Crusaders.” But while Zawahiri didn’t give a dried camel’s hump about his Shia brethren, he thought better of slaughtering them, preferring to forgive their “ignorance.” Besides, added Zawahiri as an afterthought, it’s impossible for the mujahedeen to kill all Iraq’s Shia.

While Zarqawi rejected Zawahiri’s soft approach, his personal odyssey has a happy ending. Zarqawi died, killed by Americans in 2006. But his legacy, like that of Bush’s invasion of Iraq, lives on in ISIS. Shia Iran, once a bitter enemy of Saddam Hussein’s Iraq, now has pride-of-place in the Iraq that Bush built. The Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps has been galvanized to the aid of the Iraqi army. But it is not the 930,000 members of the Iraqi security forces that the Revolutionary Guard aims to rouse. Despite the princely sums ($25 billion) Americans spent to train and prepare it, in Mosul, this inorganic, artificial creation of the Bush brigades fled before 1,300 ISIS fighters. To fight the marauding Sunnis, the Revolutionary Guard will likely corral well-motivated, tribal Shia militias. (In Iraq, Shiites make up about sixty percent of the population. Sunnis comprise less than twenty percent.) It is this cauldron of sectarian strife that Saddam Hussein kept from bubbling over. What’s unfolding in Iraq, with ISIS, is no more than a progression along a predictable continuum, the starting point of which was an American occupation that unseated an extremely effective law-and-order leader: Saddam Hussein. Consequently, where there was once oppression and order, there is

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the predictable progression of Iraq from (sectarian) rogue state to failed state to Islamic state, in the wake of the American occupation. There is no reason to expect me to best a column dated December 2006, titled “At Least Saddam Kept Order”: “… If Iraqis appear ungrateful or disoriented, it is because they are busy … busy dying at rates many times higher than under Saddam. In the final days of Saddam’s reign of terror, i.e., in the 15 months preceding the invasion, the primary causes of death in Iraq were natural: “heart attack, stroke and chronic illness,” as The Lancet reported. Since Iraq became a Bush object lesson, the primary cause of death has been violence. … … Hussein’s reign was one of the more peaceful periods in the history of this fractious people. What a shame it’s too late to dust Saddam off, give him a sponge bath, and beg him to restore law and order to Iraq. Secretly, that’s what anyone with a head and a heart would want. We could promise solemnly never to mess with him again—just so long as he kept his mitts off nukes, continued to check Iran (which he did splendidly), and minimized massacres. To be fair, Saddam’s last major massacre was in 1991, during which only 3,000 Shiites were murdered. That’s less than Iraq’s monthly quota under “democracy.” No one is praising Saddam, yada, yada, yada. But even the Saddam-equalsHitler crowd cannot but agree that Iraq

now only chaos and carnage. The lawlessness we brought to Iraq with our messianic, faith-based initiative has allowed the manifestation of divisions that have riven the region for four millennia. As I predicted in 2007, “Once we decamp, some Saddam-like strongman will fill the power vacuum left. The dictator to emerge from the ruins of Iraq will impose Sharia, pray to the hidden Imam, and compel women to walk about in black nose bags. We had it good with Saddam because he was secular, an enemy of fundamentalist Islam. Can we have back what, in our folly, we fouled up? No.” There is little reason for me to hope to impart something new about

SHINOLA, cont’d. on Page 5

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THANK ’EM... AND THANK ’EM AGAIN

The power of AGAIN! If you sent me that I was a media gift, what would um?” Marriage I do after I opened Now why did I it? I would phone call you that SECyou to say “thank OND time? That’s with Mort Fertel you,” right? Why? right; it could only Why would I call be because I’m to “thank you?” THANKFUL. You’re probably saying to yourself, The first “thank you” could be out of “Well, you would call to say thank you obligation; the SECOND “thank you” in order to express your appreciation.” could only be APPRECIATION. But that’s not true. 1. Think of something your spouse Maybe I’m appreciative for the gift did LAST WEEK that you could exand maybe I’m not. You wouldn’t know press appreciation for AGAIN. And eibased on the fact that I called to say ther verbally or in writing say “thank “thank you.” All you would know based you.” on the fact that I called to say “thank 2. Make a list of things your spouse you” is that my mother raised me well does this week that you expressed and that I have good manners. After all, appreciation for and make a note to it would be rude to not thank you for remind yourself to say “thank you” the gift. AGAIN next week. But just because I said “thank you” I encourage you to make a mendoes NOT mean that I’m appreciative tal note (or keep a list) of things your nor does it mean that you will feel ap- spouse does that deserves appreciation preciated. and come back to them occasionally. What if I called you AGAIN a week Remember them! And remember to later and said, “you know that blue say “thank you” AGAIN. shirt you sent me for my birthday? I’m I call it “The Power of AGAIN.” I wearing it now and it looks GREAT encourage you to get into the habit of with the tie my wife bought me. Thank doing it. It’ll do wonders for your maryou. And by the way, how did you know riage.

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She had no idea he turned down military life insurance

By Amy Bushatz SurvivorBUZZ.com Like so many of our service members, Lt. Cmdr. Landon Jones thought he was invincible. He was also the saver in his military home, squirreling away money for the future any way he could. Which is why, in retrospect, it makes sense that he declined his Service member’s Group Life Insurance (SGLI) policy five separate times. Even though it could pay his family up to $400,000 if he died, it was a extra $27 he could pocket every single month. Plus, he wasn’t going to die so he wouldn’t need it anyway. But then he did. Lt. Cmdr. Landon Jones and his copilot Chief Warrant Officer 3 Jonathan S. Gibson were killed Sept. 22, 2013 when water hit the spinning blades of their helo after it landed on a small Navy ship. The aircraft hit the deck and broke apart. A search and rescue was launched to find Jones and Gibson and then called off. After a horrifying notification process in which Jones’ wife, Theresa Jones, learned of his death via the Navy’s social media pages, she was floored when she discovered that she and her two small children would not be receiving her husband’s SGLI because he didn’t have any. When a service member declines SGLI as Jones did five different time, the spouse is supposed to be notified in writing. And Theresa

SHINOLA

Cont’d. from Page 3 was not a lawless society prior to our faith-based intervention. Even the war’s enablers must finally admit that under our ministrations Iraq has gone from a secular to a religious country; from rogue to failed state. Put yourself in the worn-out shoes of this sad, pathetic people. Would you rather live under Saddam—who was a brutal dictator, but did provide Iraq with one of the foundations of civilization: order— or under a force made up of ideological terrorists, feuding warlords, and an “Ali Baba” element, all running rampant because they can, and where not even mosques provide a safe haven from these brutes and their bombs?”

had never seen any paperwork or other documentation about her husband’s actions. And she had never thought of looking at his “page 2” – the part of his SGLI paperwork where he accepts or declines it. “I don’t think he declined SGLI in an effort to hurt myself or our children,” Theresa told me. “I think he did it because he was a frugal man who never believed he would die. He was trained to be a war fighting machine for the Navy. … While my husband may have taken his decision to save that extra money each month to an extreme, and while he may have been a little cocky in thinking nothing would ever happen to him, and whether or not I agree with it, I can see his train of thought.” Theresa had no idea that her husband could completely decline SGLI. Like many military spouses, she and her husband worked as a team tackling different parts of their home and family. And the deployment related paperwork was his part. “I feel this is embarrassing because I think people will look at me as a naive, idiotic woman for not asking my husband about the status of his SGLI. I also do not want to paint my husband in a bad light. He was a great husband, wonderful father, and amazing pilot and Navy Officer,” she told me. “I am a very educated Navy wife and while I was very involved in my husband’s career, I did not have my hand in every facet of it. Every time we PCS’d, I left it up to my husband to take care of all the receipts and figure out the reimbursements for each of the six moves we did in our 10 years of marriage. I did not sit down with him to figure that stuff out. Meanwhile, he left it up to me (mostly) to unpack the boxes and get our home life settled. We worked as a team and knew we each had a job we had to complete and did not micromanage each other as we did them. Again, because I did not know that you could decline SGLI out right, I guess that was just something that never popped up on my radar. I assumed it

“I wish the Americans had never come,” Baghdadi Mohammed Rejeb told veteran war correspondent Arwa Damon, a decade after the American Nakba (catastrophe). “They ruined our country. They planted divisions. They made us cry for the days of Saddam Hussein.” Wept another Iraqi woman, on that anniversary: “I lost hope six to seven months ago. You don’t feel it’s home anymore.” One after another, Iraqis all speak of the “corruption, suspicion and tribalism” that have seeped into civil society since the invasion. No. Iraq hasn’t suddenly “slipped back into” this backward and benighted state. It was bombed there by a mulish military power which didn’t know Shiite from Shinola.

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was taken care of on his end.” our long term financial security.” Theresa has appealed the SGLI While Theresa works to fix her SGLI situation in situation, she hopes of still hopes that being able her problem “I feel this is embarrassing to collect it can work as because I think people will look because the a warning for at me as a naive, idiotic woman Navy did not others. Yes, for not asking my husband about keep up its your service the status of his SGLI. I also do end of the member CAN bargain acdecline SGLI not want to paint my husband in a cording to and you may bad light. He was a great husband, the regulanot be notiwonderful father, and amazing tion. She is fied. And if pilot and Navy Officer...” also workthe worst haping with her pens, you’ll be Congressman, Ander Crenshaw, (R- left in even more of a rut. Fla.), to find a fix so this never happens “What I want other spouses to take to anyone else again. Still, officials away is obviously to have these hard with the Office of SGLI told her that conversations and to not assume anyjust because the regulation was broken thing. Be as proactive as humanly posdoesn’t mean she can collect. sible in as much as your spouse’s career “They say that regardless that it is as they will allow you to be, and even law that I be notified, the failure of no- more so when it comes to the realities tification does not affect the validity of of the dangerous job they hold,” she any coverage election,” she said. said. “And now I am left behind on this earth, with 2 young children, to deal In the meantime Theresa says she with the ramifications of all of it. It feels a lot of fear for their future. For is one big mess that I will deal with for the time being she has his $100,000 the rest of my life. If I can prevent this death gratuity and monthly benefits from happening to another family with from the DoD, VA and Social Security. my story, then I know it wasn’t all in However, over times the payouts will vain.” decrease and she will transfer to TriUpdate – If you’d like to help the care Retiree with its higher costs. Jones family, contributions can be “While we are doing fine right now, made in person at any Navy Federal I worry very much about future,” she Branch, through Paypal, or by mailing a said. “My sons were 6-years-old and check directly to Navy Federal. The ad2.5 months old when my husband was dress is 555 Saturn Blvd., Suite C, San killed. I have at least 18 years of being Diego, CA 92154. Make checks payable solely financially responsible for them. to “Landon Jones Memorial Fund.” The I was 33 when my husband was killed Paypal account is landonjonesmemoriand have a very long life to live as well. alfund@gmail.com, and the access code So, while I am fine today and in the is 7406575. The access code is for Navy short term, I very much worry about FCU, not Paypal. HEALTH

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Start today: www.marriage-fitness.com July 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 5

Harry S. Truman 33rd President of the United States Served from April 12, 1945 (ascended) to Jan. 20, 1953

“You can accomplish anything provided that you do not mind who gets the credit.” — Harry Truman 1952 Buick Super Estate Wagon

Alben W. Barkley 35th Vice President of the United States Served from Jan. 20, 1949 to Jan. 20, 1953

Technology

World events

• Albert Einstein refuses presidency of Israel • London smog kills 4,000 • Elizabeth II becomes queen upon the death of her father, George VI. • Mother Teresa opens the home for dying and destitute in Calcutta • Big Mother Teresa Bang Theory of the creation of the Universe first propounded • South African police arrest Nelson Mandella • India holds its first general elections

• Britain announces it has atomic bomb • Summer Olympics held in Helsinki, Finland • Puerto Rico becomes a self governing commonwealth of the U.S. • Military coup d’etat in Egypt headed by Nasser • Winter Olympic games are held in Oslo, Norway

U.S. events

• Polio epidemic kills 3,300 • Live atomic bomb test at Yucca Flats, Nevada, shown on TV • California has its 2nd largest earthquake, rocking 100,000 sq. miles • Communist teachers banned from teaching in public schools • Charlie Chaplin refused entry back into the U.S. after

1952 Streetcar 6 July July1, 1,2014 2014THE THE MILITARY MILITARY PRESS PRESS

living in Hollywood for 20 years • Vice Presidential candidate Richard Nixon defends himself on TV over allegations of secret cash fund • Steel plants placed under presidential control after steel unions threaten to strike

Sports

• World Series: Yankees over Dodgers, 4-3 • NBA Championship: Minneapolis Lakers d. New York, 4-3 • Rocky Marciano becomes world heavyweight champion after knocking out Jersey Joe Walcott

1952 Ford

• World’s first passenger jet produced • First successful use of a mechanical heart • The first “Don’t Walk” sign installed in New York City • First Holiday Inn opens in Tennessee • Patent for bar code used to identify products issued did not become the industry standard until the Universal Grocery Products Identification Product Code or UPC was created • First roll-on deodorant introduced, Ban RollOn

Clockwise: Nelson Mandela, Queen Elizabeth II, Albert Einstein www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com

remember when...

2 5 19 AVERAGE COST OF LIVING

Popular culture

• The “Diary of Anne Frank” published • The “Today Show” debuts on NBC • KFC franchise opens • MAD Magazine’s first issue

Inventions

• Hydrogen bomb • Mr. Potato Head Game • Polio vaccine

BORN THIS YEAR: Above right: Bill Bilichick, NFL head coach. Above left: George Strait, country singer; Jeff Goldblum, actor; Sharon Osborne, reality star and Ozzie’s wife; Vladimir Putin, Russian president.

Popular films

• Singin’ in the Rain • Against All Flags • High Noon • Man Bait • The Quiet Man • Stolen Face • Monkey Business • The Greatest Show on Earth • The Snows of Kilimanjaro

• Income per year ........ $3,850 • Minimum wage ............... 75¢ • New house ................ $9,050 • Monthly rent ..................... $80 • New car ..................... $1,700 • Gallon of gas ................... 20¢ • Dozen eggs ..................... 72¢ • Gallon of milk .................. 96¢ • Loaf of bread ................... 16¢ • First-class stamp ............... 3¢ • Movie ticket ..................... 45¢

Popular music

TV shows

• Life is Worth Living • The Abbott and Costello Show • Hockey Night in Canada • Mister Peepers • Victory at Sea • The Red Buttons Show • The Ernie Kovacs Show • Adventures of Superman • The Jackie Gleason Show • I Married Joan • The Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet • I’ve Got A Secret

• “Blue Tango,” Leroy Anderson • “Wheel of Fortune,” Kay Starr • “Cry,” Johnnie Ray • “You Belong To Me,” Jo Stafford • “Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart,” Vera Lynn

1952 Chevy For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com

July July1, 1,2014 2014THE THE MILITARY MILITARY PRESS PRESS 7

Military discounts on auto sales By Heather Sweeney Are you thinking about buying a new car but overwhelmed by the cost? Many automakers want to show their appreciation for military families by offering special pricing on their vehicles. Whether you’re returning after an overseas tour or you’re just ready for a new car, make sure to take advantage of the military discounts offered by a variety of automakers, both stateside and abroad.

Ford

Ford offers a $500 bonus cash offer good toward the purchase or lease of an eligible new 2013/2014/2015 model year Ford vehicle (some vehicles not eligible). Offer is in support of the military and their families.

General Motors

General Motors offers active duty members, reservists, retirees, spouses and veterans within one year of discharge savings and incentives on eligible Chevrolet, Buick or GMC vehicles. In addition to their regular discount, GM is also offering a special discount in honor of Military Appreciation Month. All active, reserve, retired and veteran military – regardless of separation date – can receive the General Motors military discount on Chevrolet, Buick, GMC and Cadillac vehicles until June 30, 2014.

Harley-Davidson

Harley Davidson offers a military discount that includes no down payment, reduced rates and flexible term options designed for active duty military personnel.

Hyundai

All active duty, Reservist/National Guard, veteran and retired military personnel will receive an additional $500 off select 2013, all 2014 and all 2015 model year new Hyundai vehicles. This discount expires June 2, 2014 but you can contact your local Hyundai dealership to see if they offer a discount.

Scion

Scion offers active duty, inactive reservists, retirees, veterans discharged within one year, and household members a $500 rebate toward the purchase or lease of a new Scion.

Toyota

Active duty military, inactive reservists, retirees, veterans discharged within one year, and household members qualify for a $500 rebate on all new Toyota vehicles.

Nissan

Active, reserve, retired and veterans discharged within the past year, and their spouses and partners get the same pricing as Nissan gives friends and family.

News briefs...

‘Military Days’ at Palm Springs Aerial Tramway

During the entire month of July, all military personnel—active and retired— with a valid military identification will receive free admission to the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway. In addition, up to six of their guests will receive 25% off their normal Tram fares. According to Tram Vice President of Sales & Marketing Nancy Nichols, “For over a decade, we’ve offered this benefit every July. The Tram’s Military Days program is our way of saying ‘Thank you’ to the dedicated men and women of the United States armed forces, along with their friends and families.” For more information, call 760-325-1391 or visit www.pstramway.com.

Pay caps are pay cuts

In this year’s defense budget, administration and Pentagon leaders requested a military pay raise of one percent. That’s 0.8 percent below private-sector pay growth, the second-lowest pay raise in 50 years, and a second consecutive year of pay caps. Like last year, Congress doesn’t see eye to eye on the military pay raise. The House rejected the administration’s pay cap in favor of a 1.8-percent raise, while the Senate supports the cap of one percent. Military Officers Association of America (MOAA) says once the military pay-cap proposals are accepted, they continue until they have wrecked readiness and retention.

Solving VA care-delay crisis too costly?

The Congressional Budget Office dampened some good vibes among lawmakers who rushed to solve the access-to-care crisis for veterans last week. The CBO estimates the cost of requiring the Department of Veterans Affairs to provide non-VA medical care to any enrolled veteran who cannot get a VA medical ap8 July 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS

New VA training is free to veterans and the public

This new VA website, www.veterantraining.va.gov/, is designed to provide easy access to training courses that can help you to learn new skills to manage stress and improve problem-solving. These courses are open to all Veterans and the public, not just to VA patients. And you don’t need to register or provide any identifying information to take them – just click on one of the links below to get started.

reconnect with your children after a deployment and beyond. Watch videos of real families’ sharing their stories, participate in helpful exercises and download practical parenting tip sheets.

Moving Forward

Moving Forward is a free, on-line educational and life coaching program that teaches Problem Solving skills to help you to better handle life’s challenges. It is designed to be especially helpful for Veterans, Military Service Members and their families. However, Moving Forward teaches skills that can be useful to anyone with stressful problems. Are you ready to Move Forward?

Veteran Parenting

Veteran Parenting is a free online course featuring key tools to support your parenting. This parenting strategies learning program is targeted to Service Member and Veteran parents. You will find guidance to help you

PTSD Coach

PTSD Coach Online has tools for coping with sadness, anxiety, and other symptoms that people who have been through trauma can develop. Some tools are brief and can help you relax when you feel stressed, or improve your mood, for example. Longer tools teach you how to tackle difficult problems, change thinking patterns, and take steps to achieve your goals.

TRICARE to cover autism

Starting this summer, a new Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) policy will cover all TRICARE beneficiaries with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) under a single benefit. The Autism Care Demonstration (ACD) will start July 25, 2014 and will run until Dec. 31, 2018. All beneficiaries currently receiving ABA under TRICARE will transition seamlessly to the new benefit with no gap in coverage by Dec. 31, 2014. Currently, TRICARE beneficia-

ries with ASD get ABA covered by one of three programs, depending on their sponsor’s duty status. The ACD combines these programs into a single benefit that will stay with beneficiaries if they move from active duty, retire or switch TRICARE plans. All ASD patients will have the same access to care, regardless of sponsor status or plan. For more information, visit the TRICARE Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) webpage at www.tricare.mil/aba.

pointment within 30 days, or who lives more than 40 miles from a VA medical facility, at a stunning $54 billion annually. However, despite the sticker shock, House Veterans Affair Committee Chairman, Rep. Jeff Miller (R-FL) said the he “is committed to paying for the reforms in a responsible manner that is fair to the taxpayers and to our veterans.

Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society

Today, nearly 90 percent of the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society (NMCRS) workforce is comprised of volunteers who provide financial assistance and counseling, quick assist loans, education assistance health education and post-combat support, advice on how to budget for a baby, emergency travel assistance, disaster relief and thrift shops for Sailors, Marines and their families. For more information on NMCRS and the resources they offer, visit the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society website at www.nmcrs.org.

‘Star Spangled Babies’ brings baby showers to military families

Military parents-to-be often live far from their extended families and support systems due to deployments and frequent relocation. That’s why Operation Homefront hosts approximately 30 baby showers per year at locations around the country. The Star Spangled Babies baby shower program, is in place to build morale by providing baby showers to our service members and their growing families. In most locations, the families who participate are of deployed service members, wounded service members, and other junior and mid grade service members and their families who just need that extra support for their new arrivals. For more SHINOLA, cont’d. on Page 25 information, call Operation Homefront’s headquarters at 800-722-6098. www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com

The bike was first spotted earlier this week on the set of the new Avengers movie and has now been confirmed by Harley. Here a stunt double for Scarlett Johansson is seen riding the e-bike during filming for Avengers: Age of Ultron at the World Cup Sangam Digital Media City Expressway in Seoul, South Korea

BORN TO BE MILD

Harley-Davidson goes electric By Jonathan O’Callaghan Harley-Davidson is known for its big touring bikes and iconic brand. But now the Wisconsin-based company is aiming to break new ground in a bold new move when it takes its first electric motorcycle, Project LiveWire, on a tour of the country beginning at an event in New York this week. And President Matt Levatich said he expects the company to become a leader in developing technology and standards for electric vehicles. The announcement is seen as taking the company in an entirely new direction — they have not previously showed interest in electric bikes, instead preferring to develop the iconic vehicle that has been a mainstay of American culture for nearly a century. Harley will show handmade demonstration models of the new e-bike at the invitation-only event on Monday, having given a sneak preview today. The company will then take the bike down the U.S. Route 66 to thirty Harley-Davidson dealerships to give riders the chance to test drive the bike and provide feedback. Harley will use the information it gathers to refine the bike, which might not hit the market for several more years. Some see the venture as a risk for Harley because there’s currently almost no market for full-size electric motorcycles. The millions of two-wheeled electric vehicles sold each year are almost exclusively scooters and low-powered bikes that appeal to Chinese commuters. At the same time, Levatich and others involved in creating the bike predicted it would sell based on performance, not environmental awareness. With no need to shift gears, the bike can go from 0 to 60 miles (96 kilometres) per hour in about four seconds. The engine is silent, but the meshing of gears apparently emits a hum like a jet airplane taking off. “Some people may get on it thinking, ‘golf cart,’” lead engineer Jeff Richlen said. “And they get off thinking, ‘rocket ship.’” One hurdle the company has yet to address is the limited range offered by electric motorcycles. The batteries must be recharged after about 130 miles (210 kilometres), and that can take 30 minutes to an hour. San Jose State University police Captain Alan Cavallo helped his de-

partment buy two bikes from Zero Motorcycles, the current top-selling brand, and said officers have been “super happy” with the quiet, environmentally friendly bikes made nearby in Scotts

Valley, California. But he said American riders who like to hit the highway would likely lose patience with the technology. “That’s the deal with the cars; you

can’t jump in a Tesla and drive to LA, it won’t make it,” Cavallo said. He added: “People want the convenience of ‘I pull into a gas station, I pour some gas in my tank and I go.’”

COMMUNITY

SOME WOUNDS LEAVE NO SCARS.

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she stayed by his side. A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was “cute.” She asked, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”

Dumbest frog

Just for Laughs

Once upon a time a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, “I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with mum, and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so.” That night, while the princess dined on frogs legs, she laughed to herself and thought: Dumbest frog I ever met...

Beautiful?

PUZZLE PAGE

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so

ACROSS 1. Puts on 6. Immediately 10. Scatters seeds 14. Metal bar 15. Murres 16. Two-toed sloth 17. A sport involving a ball and a net 19. Remain 20. No particular person 21. C 22. Cancel 23. Proprietor 25. Anxious 26. Shock 30. Chemical cousin 32. Tallest mountain 35. A baby’s room 39. Covet 40. Something of small importance 41. Scrutinize 43. Recurrence 44. Temporary 46. Large North American deer (plural) 47. Navigational aid 50. Little 53. A musical pause 54. Big wine holder 55. Large indefinite amount 60. Against 61. Interlace 63. Hissy fit 64. Storage cylinder 65. Embankment 66. Rabbit 67. Cards with 1 symbol 68. Go on a buying spree

David’s brother David

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David,” she answered. “They’re all named David?” he asked “What if you want them to come in from playing outside?” “Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “I just call ‘David,’ and they all come running in.” “And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?” “I just say, ‘David, come eat your dinner’,” she answered. “But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?” he asked. “Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “I just use their last name!”

Gonna be a good day

Q: How do you know when it’s going to be a good day at work? A: When you see your boss’ picture on the side of the milk carton.

DOWN 1. Opera star 2. Nameless 3. Not pretty 4. Western tie 5. Shorthand 6. A type of large sandwich 7. Vestiges 8. Control surface on a plane 9. Story 10. Seditious 11. Scallion 12. Gulleys

10 July 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS

13. Soft leather 18. A type of evergreen tree 24. Louse-to-be 25. Latin name for our planet 26. A Star Wars hero 27. Baking appliance 28. Not more 29. Three-party 31. Mongrel 33. Construct 34. Religious offshoot 36. Wicked 37. Hazard

Walks into a bar… string style

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve strings here.”  The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, “Hey, aren’t you a string?” The string says, “Nope, I’m a frayed knot.”

Walks into a bar… the ballerina

her leg that high has GOT to be a ballerina.”

A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top. She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits. Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, “Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me.” The bartender replies, “What makes you think she’s a ballerina?”  “Because,” answers the drunken man, “any chick that can lift

38. Sweet potatoes 42. Historic ship 43. How old you are 45. Urticate 47. Collide 48. Reddish brown 49. Active 51. Neither ___ 52. Cries of pain 54. Brand of credit card 56. Very intense 57. Wash 58. Not odd 59. Sow 62. Dawn goddess

Walks into a bar… talking dog

A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool. He looks the bartender in the eye and says, “Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? How about a drink?” The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “Sure, the toilet’s right around the corner.”

SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.

This week’s solutions:

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