FR
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Serving Those Who Serve Us
Police State USA
Volume 38 • #15 • August 1, 2014
“Power tends to corrupt & absolute power corrupts absolutely.” — John Dalberg
• No-knock SWAT raid leaves father dead, family traumatized • Cop shoots dog in parked van • Police faked 911 calls to warrantlessly search homes For advertising information, call (858) 537-2280 • advertising@militarypress.com
August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 1
America, Police State By Chuck Baldwin
Only a blind or deliberately naive man cannot see that America — the once-proud “land of the free” — is being systematically turned into a twenty-first century police state. Good grief! The Heritage Foundation’s Index of Economic Freedom notes that America is not even listed among the “free” countries of the earth. We are ranked in the second tier, of “mostly free” countries. Beyond that, the Heritage index ranks the U.S. as only the 12th freest nation on the planet. Cont’d. on next page
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www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com 7/22/14 3:17 PM
And both the Republican and Democrat parties in Washington, D.C., are equally culpable for America’s slide into socialism and oppression. And so are many local and State leaders — including political, business, and law enforcement leaders. Suffice it to say that most big city governments have become almost totalitarian. Government buildings — even local ones — are sealed fortresses, not unlike the old palace-forts of antiquity. In big and not-so-big cities, cameras monitor virtually everything we do. When traffic cameras were installed in my hometown, residents and local authorities seemed to see nothing wrong with it. These people are behaving just like those wild hogs that nonchalantly ate their food while the fence was being built all around them. In the name of “security” or “safety” or “protection,” Americans are surrendering their liberties. Ladies and gentlemen, face it: freedom is risky business! If our Founding Fathers had wanted security or safety, they would have stayed in Europe — or at least remained a compliant colony of the Crown. So, if one wants government enslavement in twenty-first century America, one should move back to Europe — or better yet, to Red China or North Korea! Instead of demanding that government take care of us, we should be demanding that government get out of our wallets and off our backs, and let us live free, as our Creator intended we live! But how can we do that when we constantly clamor for more and more government handouts and benefits? By demanding welfare checks, food stamps, government-assisted housing and medicine, etc.
America doesn’t need to worry about terrorist attacks from Baghdad or Tehran as much as we should worry about the terrorism from Big Brother — brought about with our own approbation — right here at home. When will we recognize that the Department of Homeland Security would be more properly named the Department of Homeland Enslavement? When are we going to wake up to the fact that the Patriot Act is nothing but a tool of the federal government to usurp constitutionally protected liberties? When are we going to realize that the federal “war on drugs” inflicts more damage on the Bill of Rights than it does any major drug dealer? When will we get fed up with these random police checkpoints (manned by agents from virtually any and every police
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Americans are putting the shackles around their own throats. Even churches and religious institutions are gorging themselves at the government teat.
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agency, including federal agents) going up everywhere? When will we tire of our local policemen and sheriff’s deputies more resembling military commandos than peace officers? In other words, when are we going to decide that we want to live in FREEDOM?
Contact Us: 430 North Cedar, Suite C • Escondido, CA 92025 Tel 858.537.2280 Fax 858.578.3882 www.militarypress.com ª editorsdesk@militarypress.com The Military Press Newsmagazine is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Newspaper, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materials appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Appearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press Newspaper. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscription by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses.
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Have you got something you want to share? A story from the war zone.... Joy of a homecoming... How to be a better Marine or Sailor? The Military Press invites you to submit your article for possible publication in an upcoming issue of the paper. We are looking for items from • Active duty • Military spouses • Veterans of all wars • Retired military SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: • 500 word maximum • Include relevant high resolution photo or art if available, with caption and photographer’s name • Military Press reserves the right to edit for grammar and punctuation
So what are you waiting for? Email: submit@militarypress.com August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 3
An officer forcefully props up Jermaine Darden’s lifeless body. (Source: WFAA)
AMERICA, POLICE STATE... EXHIBIT A
No-knock SWAT raid leaves father dead, family traumatized
4 August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
FORT WORTH, TX — Gun-wielding, from police. Darden, a large man who black-suited law enforcers busted into weighed over 300 pounds, was having a home with a battering ram, terrify- physical difficulties after being forced ing everyone inside and leaving one to the ground with several officers on man dead. Newly released helmet-cam top of him. He was physically unable video of the incident shows in graphic to breathe in that position due to his detail how this violent no-knock raid asthma condition, heart disease, and produced yet another casualty in the the weight of the police officers. vicious War on Drugs. “They physically pulled him off The raid took place on May 16th, the couch because, like I said, he was 2013. So-called “Zero Tolerance Offi- asleep,” explained his mother, Donna cers” from the Fort Worth Police De- Randle, to CBS-DFW. “They pulled him partment staged raid on a suspected off the couch and they tried to put him “drug house” with the inon his stomach. He can’t breathe on his tent of rounding up and stomach. He don’t even lie imprisoning people for on the bed on his getting high without govstomach.” ernment permission. PoOfficers characlice sought and received terized his futile permission from Tarrant struggle to breathe County Magistrate Cheyas being “met with enne Minick to break resistance.” At least into the home with no five officers piled on warning in order to surtop of him, exacerbatprise everyone inside. ing his breathing probAs the video shows, lem. sometime after 3:35 Video also shows Mr. p.m., men in helmets Darden being tasered and black uniforms at least twice — not besprinted through the cause officers feared for yard with shotguns their safety, but as a comand pistols already pliance tool. His body drawn. A cop with a was painted with red lalarge steel battering ram instantly ser dots, before a pop was went to the front door and smashed it heard as the sharp prongs of the dein without hesitation. From a first-per- vice were thrust into his flesh. Sixteen son perspective, the video shows cops seconds later, police jolted him again. running into the home, aggressively Each jolt lasted for 5 seconds. screaming and aiming guns. Witnesses said he was not resisting In a video obtained by WFAA, an of- at all, only trying to breathe. ficer holding a shotgun literally sweeps “He had his hands behind his back his barrel past everyone he sees in the the whole time. But me and about living room. First a large man sleeping five other people were hollering the on the couch, then a tiny female child whole time, ‘He cannot breathe like dressed in blue, a woman in purple, that. Please handcuff him on his side,’” and three men seated at a round table. said Randle. “But they ignored us and “When they came in, they had their Tased him.” weapons drawn like we were members Officers successfully handcuffed of a drug cartel,” a woman who was in Mr. Darden, and eventually propped the house told the Star-Telegraph. his limp body up into the sitting posiAfter sufficiently terrifying every- tion. But he didn’t have long to live. one with the surprise assault, officers A witness, Cliff Crippen, said he proceeded to force everyone to lie face saw paramedics bring Mr. Darden into down on the floor in handcuffs. the front yard to attempt to revive him. Jermaine “DJ” Darden, 34, who “They were pounding on his chest had been startled awake by the intru- and squeezing on an air bag,” said sion, received particular attention NO-KNOCK, cont’d. on Page 8 www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
AMERICA, POLICE STATE... EXHIBIT B
Police faked 911 calls to search homes
DURHAM, NC — A dubious police tactic has come to light, in which officers used falsified information in order to gain ‘consent’ to search private properties without a warrant. Officers in Durham have apparently discovered that they can cre-
ate the legal pretext for a search by lying about calls to 9-1-1 emergency services that never actually took place. The tactic is apparently legal — and commonplace — according to an officer’s sworn statements. WTVD-TV explains: A Durham police officer admitted under oath that he lied in order to gain entry to a home and to serve an outstanding warrant. During a court hearing last May, court officials say he told a District Court judge that it was a common practice within Durham’s police department. He said he knocked on a resident’s door, claiming police had received a 9-1-1 hang up call. But, it never happened. The tactic was pervasive enough for the Durham police chief to issue a department memo immediately calling for its disuse: “It has recently been brought to my attention that some officers have informed citizens that there has been a 911 hang-up call from their residence in order to obtain consent to enter for the actual purpose of looking for wanted persons on outstanding warrants. Effective immediately no officer will inform a citizen that there has been any call to the emergency communications center, including a hang-up call, when there in fact has been no such call.” – Jose L. Lopez, Sr., Chief of Police Chief Lopez deserves credit for rejecting the practice within his department. But the situation is troubling and raises many questions. But how pervasive is the tactic elsewhere? What can protect people in other jurisdictions from being searched using deception? Is this one of those situations that qualifies as an “unreasonable search” which is prohibited under the 4th Amendment?
AMERICA, POLICE STATE... EXHIBIT C
Cop shoots dog in parked van COEUR D’ALENE, ID — An officer shot and killed a dog that was waiting for its owner inside of a parked van. The officer later claimed it ‘lunged’ at him, but it was also revealed that he had his gun drawn the entire time. The dog’s owner was Craig Jones, who was sitting inside a nearby restaurant eating breakfast at the time of the shooting. His black Labrador, ‘Arfie,’ was waiting inside his van, with a window half-opened for ventilation. A Coeur D’Alene police officer approached the vehicle, apparently
owner’s return. The officer claims that Arfie then “lunged” at him, and he shot the dog in the chest. Arfie died. A photograph of the scene showed that the bullet had actually traveled through glass to reach the dog. The officer recorded his actions as necessary to protect himself from a “vicious pit bull,” when the truth was that he killed a black Lab sitting in a parked car. Mr. Jones said the shooting was unbelievable and his dog did not have a mean bone in his body. Mr. Jones is devastated, the Associ-
because someone called police to report it being a ‘suspicious’ white van that bore similarities to one related to a child-luring case. The unnamed officer went in with his gun already drawn, KREM 2 News reported. Arfie sat in the van, anticipating his
ated Press reported. “I didn’t even know if he was still alive. They took him (Arfee) and left me a note, a card, on my windshield. No police officer in sight,” Jones told the Coeur d’Alene Press. “This guy just wounded me so deeply. This will never
“Arfie” was killed in a parked car. (Source: Craig Jones / KREM) go away. This was my best friend.” Jones, who is from Coeur d’Alene but now lives in Colorado, said he was in town because of the recent death of his mother. Arfee, Jones added, went with him everywhere and his dog’s company was helping him mourn the loss of his mother. “There’s no way I can just return to Colorado without my dog,” Jones said. “I was planning on moving back up here actually and was just going to go back to get my stuff. But something like this is such a catastrophic thing in my life that I don’t know where I can go to escape it. There’s going to be a cloud over my head for a long time.” It is difficult to precisely understand the urge that certain police officers feel as they unnecessarily shoot people’s pets while invading their space. It seems apparent, however, that if an officer is too jumpy to restrain his trigger finger when facing a pet, he is a clear liability for using unneeded force against human beings. There has been no word on the officer’s identity or the department’s intention to fire or discipline him. He was not placed on administrative leave. Jones intends to sue.
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August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 5
Jimmy Carter 39th President of the United States Served from Jan. 20, 1977 to Jan. 20,
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Walter Mondale 42nd Vice President of the United States Served from Jan. 20, 1977 to Jan. 20, 1981
World events
• The command council of Iraq orders its army to “deliver its fatal blow on Iranian military targets,” initiating the Iran-Iraq War, which lasted 8 years • Zimbabwe, formerly Rhodesia, gains independence — majority Black rule • Failed operation by U.S. to free hostages in Iran • Yassar Yassar Arafat Arafat elect-
ed President of the Palestinian Council • Japan becomes world’s largest auto producing country U.S. news • U.S. leads boycott of Mos• President Jimmy Carter cow Olympics in protest at Soauthorizes legislation giving viet invasion of Afghanistan $1.59 billion in loans to • Mini gold rush in Ausbail out the Chrysler Cortralian outback after gold is poration discovered • The infamous New • Israel replaces the pound Mexico State Penitenwith a new currency — the tiary riot takes place: Shekel 33 inmates are killed • Right wing terrorists exand more than 100 inShekels plode bomb at Bologna railway jured station in Italy, killing over 70 • Mount St. Helens • 8.0 earthquake strikes erupts in Washington, killing 57 southern Italy, killing more than 3,000 and causing $3 billion in damage people • President Jimmy Carter signs • In Australia, baby Azaria Chama bill requiring 19- and 20-year-old berlain disappears from a camp-site, males to register for a peacetime milireportedly taken by a dingo tary draft in response to the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan • 1980 heat wave claimed anywhere between 1,250 and 10,000 lives and massive drought, creating agricultural damage estimates
6 August August1, 1,2014 2014THE THE MILITARY MILITARY PRESS PRESS
Datsun 280Z
neared $44 billion • The Staggers Rail Act is enacted, deregulating American railroads • Former Beatle John Lennon dies in the hospital after being shot outside his New York City apartment by Mark David Chapman
Sports
• The Pittsburgh Steelers become the first NFL franchise to win four Super Bowls, defeating the Rams 31-19 • The Philadelphia Phillies win their first World Series beating the K.C. Royals 4-1 in game six.
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
remember when...
0 8 19 AVERAGE COST OF LIVING
BORN THIS YEAR: Chris Pine, actor Above left: Chelsea Clinton, president’s daughter; Michelle Kwan, figure skater; Venus Williams, tennis player; Gisele Bundchen
• Dale Earnhardt won the NEXTEL Cup (formerly Winston Cup)
Technology
TV shows
• Magnum, P.I. • Too Close for Comfort • Cosmos • Galactica 1980 • It’s a Living • That’s Incredible! • ABC News Nightline • Tenspeed and Brown Shoe • Solid Gold
• Domestic camcorders available • First fax machines produced • First ever natural birth in captivity of a Giant Panda • Pac-Man arcade game released • CNN beMusic comes the first • “Magic,” Olivia Newton-John 24 hour news • “Rock With You,” Michael Jackstation son • 3M begins • “Fame,” Irene Cara sales of Post-it • “Do That To Me One More Time,” Notes Captain & Tennille • “Funkytown,” Lipps, Inc. Movies • “Whip It,” Devo • 9 to 5 • “Sailing,” Christopher Cross • Stir Crazy • “Another One Bites The • Any Which Way Dust,” Queen You Can • Private Benjamin • Caddyshack • Friday the 13th • Raging Bull • American Gigolo
Born this year
• Income per year ..... $19,170 • Minimum wage ............ $3.10 • New house ............. $68,714 • Monthly rent .................. $300 • New car ..................... $7,200 • Gallon of gas ................ $1.19 • Dozen eggs ..................... 91¢ • Gallon of milk ............... $1.25 • Loaf of bread ................... 48¢ • First-class stamp ............ 15¢ • Movie ticket .................. $2.70
• Albert Pujols, baseball player • Alicia Keys, musician • Jessica Simpson, singer/actress • Christina Ricci, actress • Gisele Bunchen, Brazilian supermodel • Dolph Ziggler, wrestler
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1980 BMW August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 7
What is veterans court? Veterans Court takes veterans with misdemeanor and felony convictions and places them on a separate track, giving them treatment designed especially for veterans. Defendants in the program are closely monitored with regular court hearings and supported by Veterans Affairs and other community-based organizations. Participants are rewarded for success, and penalized for non-compliance with the rules. Only veterans who committed crimes as a result of a mental illness related to military service are eligible for the Court. The program is a collaborative effort between the Superior Court, District Attorney's Office, Defense Bar, treatment providers, and the California Veterans Legal Task Force. Participants are carefully screened and placed into programs that will give
them the tools to treat mental health issues and become productive citizens. Many vets cope with problems when they return home from a deployment and must work to readjust to civilian life as well as to injuries and psychological problems, which can lead to substance abuse or issues with the law.
To be considered for Veterans Court, defendants must have prior or current military service and be able to show some type of mental health issue related to their service (post-traumatic stress disorder, traumatic brain injury, military sexual trauma, etc.). Trauma from combat is not always required. However, there must be a connection between the criminal offense and a military related mental health issue. Prior to acceptance into Veteran’s Court, each case must be screened and approved by a selection committee, which meets twice per month. Cases involving arson, sex registration, or prison sentences are not eligible. San Diego Superior Court Judge Roger Krauel presides over Veterans Court, which meets every two weeks. For more information, visit www. courts.ca.gov.
HEALTH
NO-KNOCK
Cont’d. from Page 4 Crippen, 29. “I saw his arm fall limp and a police officer place it back on his chest, and I thought to myself, ‘He’s dead.’” Crippen commented on the lack of urgency to reach the hospital: “They sat in the ambulance about 10 minutes before it moved. And then it rolled away, no lights, no sirens.” Jermaine “DJ” Darden was pronounced dead at the hospital. He left behind a wife and 2 teenage sons. He was found him with nothing illegal in his possession. It took months for the medical examiner to declare an official cause of death. While some expected the death to be a homicide, it was instead announced that Mr. Darden died of “natural causes.” No culpability was placed on the officers’ use of force or the multiple electrical shocks. Officially, it was just a coincidence that he died during the raid. “No, he didn’t die of natural causes, because if that’s the case, he would have [already] been dead,” his mother said. “They gave him a heart attack. They put him into a heart attack.” Presented with a dismissive explanation for Darden’s death, a grand jury predictably let off the sole unnamed police officer who was reviewed for criminal liability. The rivers of blood spilled in such senseless situations provides us with the most compelling and personal reason to end the violent Drug War. None of this would have the chance to happen if the government wasn’t fixated on micromanaging people’s personal decisions, sending enforcers who are prepared to kill or be killed in the name of senseless prohibition laws. 8 August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
5 things to know about the Career Intermission Program
Since the Navy’s Career Intermission Program inception in 2009, 70 Sailors, men and women, officers and enlisted, across a variety of communities have taken advantage of the program to pursue personal and professional goals. Interested in participating? Here are five things you need to know to take advantage of the program: 1. Sailors use the Career Intermission Program for a variety of reasons, including to start a family or take care of family members, complete educational goals, or to achieve personal goals (such as hiking the Appalachian Trail or doing humanitarian aid work in a foreign country.) 2. Sailors receive many benefits during their time on the program to include retaining active duty health and dental care for themselves and their dependents, receiving a monthly stipend pay, and a permanent change of station (PCS) to the location of your choice. Sailors are also eligible to use the G.I. Bill while participating in the program. 3. Sailors can choose to leave active duty for up to three years. For each month a Sailor takes off, two months are required to be served upon return to active duty. 4. During the intermission, Sailors are required to muster monthly via email, are exempt from mobilization, are exempt from promotion consideration and time on intermission is not counted for retirement eligibility. 5. To return to active duty, Sailors must meet all physical readiness conditions and security qualifications. A Sailor’s date of rank/time in grade is adjusted to account for his or her intermission time and a “Non-Observed” (NOB) Fitness Report or Evaluation will be issued to cover the period of participation. For more info about the Career Intermission Program, visit http:// www.public.navy.mil/bupers-npc/ support/21st_Century_Sailor/tflw/ Pages/CIPP.aspx.
Tesla Motors recruiting military veterans
Tesla Motors, which is on a mission to bring electric cars to the masses, now has another goal: to become a leading employer of America’s military veterans. Tesla’s workforce is exploding as it expands production of its Model S, prepares to launch the Model X crossover SUV and enters new markets overseas. The company now has more than 6,000 employees, and of those, 300 — or roughly 5 percent — are veterans, including its logistics director, former Navy officer Adam Plumpton. Another 600 veteran candidates are in the hiring pipeline, according to Geshuri. To search openings at Tesla, visit http://www.teslamotors.com/ careers.
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
Retirees unlikely to face UCMJ over legal pot By Travis J. Tritten Retired from the military and want to light up a joint in a state that has legalized pot? Getting high will put you in a legal gray area, but no need to be paranoid. The chances of being charged with a crime are practically nil, legal experts say, even though retirees are technically still subject to military law that forbids pot smoking anywhere, including Washington state and Colorado where recreational marijuana use is now allowed. Cities and states around the country have adopted liberalized
pot laws in recent years as American views on the drug have mellowed. But the Department of Defense has said unequivocally that servicemembers and civilian employees can never use marijuana because of prohibition by the Uniform Code of Military Justice and federal law, which still considers it an illegal street drug. The long arm of military law also extends to retired servicemembers who draw pension payments. In rare cases, the services have recalled retirees to charge them with crimes.
Draft notices sent to 14,000 men born in 1800s The Selective Service System mistakenly sent notices to more than 14,000 Pennsylvania men born between 1893 and 1897, ordering them to register for the nation's military draft and warning that failure to do so is "punishable by a fine and imprisonment." The agency realized the error when it began receiving calls from bewil-
dered relatives last week. The glitch, it turns out, originated with the Pennsylvania DOT during a transfer of nearly 400,000 records to the Selective Service. A clerk working with the state's database failed to select the century, producing records for males born between 1993 and 1997 — and for those born a century earlier.
New rugged all-terrain boots for Marines
With the release of Marine Administrative Message 299/14, the Marine Corps will replace the Temperate Weather Marine Corps Combat Boot with the Hot Weather and Temperate Weather Rugged All-Terrain boot, beginning in fiscal year 2015, the new boots will be issued to recruits and officer candidates. The RAT boots, according to the MARADMIN, have a longer useful life than the MCCBs and will show in the clothing allowance for each Marine. The allowance change will reflect the price difference and longer useful life of the RAT boot, decreasing the clothing allowance by $31.07 per active-duty enlisted Marine. The standard RAT boots are
Marine Corps will replace the Temperate Weather Marine Corps Combat Boot with the Hot Weather and Temperate Weather Rugged All-Terrain boot (Photo courtesy of Marines.mil) brown rough-side-out leather boots with a reinforced heel and toe and a wider platform for better weight distribution. Like the other Marine Corps boots, a Marine Corps emblem is heatembossed on the outer ankle, identifying the RAT boots as authorized to wear by Marines. The Marine Corps will outfit every Marine with the RAT boots by October 1, 2016.
Navy expands command ball cap policy U.S. Navy Command baseball caps are making a comeback by popular demand. Starting Sept. 1, U.S. Navy commanding officers will be authorized to allow their sailors to wear command ball caps with Navy Working Uniforms, Types I, II and III. Command ball caps used to be a mainstay withutility uniforms; they identified the ship a sailor belonged
to and also were a source of pride. However, when utilities were replaced by Navy Working Uniforms, that uniform came with a matching eight-point cover. As a result, in 2010, the Navy implemented tighter rules on the use of ball caps. Officials said feedback from sailors at all hands calls spurred the decision to bring the cap back.
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August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 9
to Jim Bob and says, “You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I’ll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes.” Jim Bob thinks it’s a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Bubba goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. “Logic?” Bubba says. “What’s that?” The dean says, “I’ll show you. Do you own a weed-eater?” “Yeah.” “Then logically speaking, because you own a weed-eater, I think that you would have a yard.” “That’s true, I do have a yard.”
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A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, “I did some homework.” The robot slaps the son. The son says, “Ok, Ok, I was at a friend’s house watching movies.” Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?” Son says, “Toy Story.” The robot slaps the son. Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching porn.” Dad says, “What? At your age I didn’t even know what porn was.” The robot slaps the father. Mom laughs and says, “Well, he certainly is your son.” The robot slaps the mother.
Logic... not
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Two Tennessee Rednecks, Bubba and Jim Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turns
ACROSS 1. Housemaids 6. Collections 10. Fraud 14. Hotel employee 15. Tight 16. Overhang 17. Aquatic mammal 18. Sea eagle 19. Dwarf buffalo 20. Middleman 22. Cut 23. Dry riverbed 24. Preoccupy 26. Hair salon process 30. Compete 31. A parcel of land 32. Murres 33. Extremely 35. Lingo 39. Urinary organs 41. Before the expected time 43. An analytic literary composition 44. Docile 46. Faux pas 47. Obtain 49. Evil spirit 50. Rational 51. Give in 54. Lascivious look 56. A formal high school dance 57. Distortion 63. Boorish 64. Cut back 65. Style 66. Biblical garden 67. Smell 68. A chemical compound
“I’m not done, the dean says. “Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.” “Yes, I do have a house.” “And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.” “I have a family.”
“What’s that?” Bubba says, “I’ll show you. Do you have a weed-eater?” “No.” “Then you’re a queer.
“I’m not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife.” “Yes, I do have a wife.” “And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.” “I am a heterosexual. That’s amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed-eater.” Excited to take the class now, Bubba shakes the Dean’s hand and leaves to go meet Jim Bob at the bar. He tells Jim Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. “Logic?” Jim Bob says,
It was a hot day in Minnesota. Helga hung the wash out to dry and then went into town to pick up her dry cleaning. “Gootness, its hotter den hell today,” she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street. She passed a tavern and thought to herself, “Vy nodt.” She walked in and quietly took a seat at the end of the bar. The bartender walked up to her and said, “And what would you like to drink today?” “Vell Ya know,” Helga said in a
69. Religious offshoot 11. Small boat 12. Declares 70. 10 10 10 10 13. Intends 71. Got up 21. Knowledgeable 25. Wild hog DOWN 26. Throw up 1. Affirm 27. Twin sister of Ares 2. Arithmetic 28. Purges 3. Countertenor 29. Administration 4. Part of a foot 34. Complainers 5. Scatter 36. Big party 6. Most dependable 37. Norse god 7. Not later 38. Sort 8. Melody 40. Gave the once9. Unsaturated over 42. Pariah alcohol 45. Control surface on 10. Dressmaker
10 August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
Vy nodt
a plane 48. Part of a tea service 51. French for “After” 52. Unrefined 53. Data stream manipulator 55. Angers 58. Invited 59. Exam 60. Within 61. Chocolate cookie 62. Egghead
timid voice, “I don’t usually go into da bars, but today I vill make an exception. It iss zo hot, I tink I vill have myself a beer.” The bartender smiled at Helga and asked,” Anheuser Busch?” Helga blushed and said; “Vell, it’s fine tanks, und how’s yur viener?”
Shuffle that
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.
This week’s solutions:
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Neighborhood parks. Yours at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta.
BE OPEN
Many KB Home neighborhoods feature amazing amenities like parks, ball fields, playgrounds and more. At KB Home, we’re ready to build you a great new home AND a relaxing new lifestyle.
Ironwood at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta Homes from the mid $300s
Acacia at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta Homes from the mid $300s
• 2,628–4,506 sq. ft., 3–6 bedrooms., 2–6 baths • parks, baseball field, tot lots and more
• 2,343–2,894 sq. ft., 3–5 bdrms., 2–4 baths • single-story homes, solar included
From I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4150
From I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4057
Broker Cooperation Welcome. ©2014 KB Home (KBH). A 1.4kW solar power system is included as a standard component of a new KB home at Mahogany Hills. Energy bill savings are based on estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas for a home as designed (not as built) with the corresponding solar power system compared to estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas without the system. KBH makes no guarantee of energy production by any solar power system installed with a home or of energy costs or savings, if any, experienced by any homeowner. Energy costs and savings, if any, will vary by floor plan, home size, occupancy, daily activities, appliance usage, thermostat settings, climate conditions and orientation of the home and the solar power system size and operating conditions, among other factors. KBH reserves the right to modify, discontinue or replace any solar options at any time without prior notice. Other restrictions and limitations may apply. Solar power systems are supplied by SunPower Corporation®. KBH and SunPower Corporation are independent companies. SunPower and the SunPower logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of SunPower Corporation. Plans, pricing, financing, terms, availability and specifications subject to change/prior sale without notice and may vary by neighborhood, lot location and home series. Buyer responsible for all taxes, insurance and other fees. Sq. footage is approximate. HOA applies. Photos may depict upgraded landscaping/options and may not represent lowest-priced homes. Photo does not depict racial preference. See sales representative for details. KB Home Sales–Southern California Inc. (CA Real Estate License 00242327). SOCAL-119234
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August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 11
12 August 1, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com