FR
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Serving Those Who Serve Us
Volume 38 • #16 • August 15, 2014
The Greedy
% 1
• Wealth gap slows economic growth • America's 10 worst tax-dodging companies
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August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 1
Wealth Gap
By Jack Boak AP Economics Writer
Slowing U.S. economic growth
WASHINGTON — Economists have long argued that a rising wealth gap has complicated the U.S. rebound from the Great Recession. Now, an analysis by the rating agency Standard & Poor’s lends its weight to the argument: The widening gap between the wealthiest Americans and everyone else has made the economy more prone to boom-bust cycles and slowed the 5-year-old recovery from the recession. Cont’d. on next page
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But S&P challenges the notion that a rising tide automatically will lift all boats: “A lifeboat carrying a few, surrounded by many treading water, risks capsizing,” it argues. Economic disparities appear to be reaching extremes that “need to be watched because they’re damaging to growth,” said Beth Ann Bovino, chief U.S. economist at S&P. The rising concentration of income among the top 1 percent of earners has contributed to S&P’s cutting its growth estimates for the economy. In part because of the disparity, it estimates that the economy will grow at a 2.5 percent annual pace in the next decade, down from a forecast five years ago of a 2.8 percent rate. The S&P report advises against using the tax code to try to narrow the gap. Instead, it suggests that greater access to education would help ease wealth disparities. Part of the problem is that edu-
cational achievement has stalled in recent decades. More schooling usually translates into higher wages. S&P estimates that the U.S. economy would grow annually by an additional half a percentage point —or $105 billion — over the next five years, if the average the American worker had completed just one more year of school. By contrast, S&P concludes, heavy taxes that would be meant to reduce inequality could remove incentives for people to work and cause businesses to hire fewer employees because of the costs involved. The report builds on data from the Congressional Budget Office, the International Monetary Fund and academic economists to ex-
plain how income disparities can hurt growth. Many consumers tend to become more dependent on debt to continue spending, thereby worsening the boom-bust cycle. Or they curb their spending, and growth improves only modestly, as it has during the current recovery. Tax data tracked as part of the World Top Incomes Database project reveal just how much the economic chasm has expanded. An American in the top 1 percent of earners had an average income of $1.3 million in 2012, the most recent year for which data are available. Average income jumps to $30.8 million for the top 0.01 percent. Adjusted for inflation, the top 0.01 percent’s average earnings have jumped by a factor of seven
since 1913. For the bottom 90 percent of Americans, average incomes after inflation have grown by a factor of just three since 1917 and have declined for the past 13 years. Yet not all economists agree on how much, or even whether, the wealth gap slows growth. Harvard University economist Greg Mankiw wrote in a 2013 paper that “the evidence is that most of the very wealthy get that way by making substantial economic contributions, not by gaming the system.” But S&P challenges the notion that a rising tide automatically will lift all boats: “A lifeboat carrying a few, surrounded by many treading water, risks capsizing,” it argues.
Spreading the wealth By Richard Matz, Publisher Pres. Obama’s plan on spreading the wealth is not a bad idea. The problem with his idea is that he had absolutely no idea on how to implement the plan. He’s left that up to his extremely left wing cronies. He created a larger bureaucracy to distribute our tax dollars to those already on welfare and to il-
legal immigrants that have broken our laws and crossed our borders. Obama care is just another failure on spending our taxes and the end result has become a nightmare. He’s asked for and received $368 billion to provide a temporary/permanent residence for minor children who have crossed our borders over the last year. An overwhelming
The Military Press August 15, 2014 Publisher Richard T. Matz
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amount of Americans totally disagree with this plan. All it has become is a signal for more illegal men women and children to come and enjoy the free ride on the American tax dollar. The motivation behind his plan is to ensure that the Democratic vote will increase over the next 50+ years. The Republican Party on the other hand is trying desperately to sue or maybe impeach Obama for his abuse of power and violating the Constitution. Years ago, I had an older friend who was related to the Kennedys. He was a lobbyist and represented a few national organizations which included the NAACP. He explained to me how the congressman and senators horse traded back and forth to enrich their states and their own coffers. He also told me how he created a nonprofit corporation so he could donate monies to candidates of both parties. He told me he would donate 60% to the candidate or party that he felt had the best chance to be elected. Then he donated 40% to the other side just so he could cover his bet in case he picked the wrong candidate or party. He also told me some wild stories about the politi-
cians on both sides of the out and how they abused their offices and foolishly spent our tax dollars. As we all know the President and both parties have accomplished absolutely nothing over the past 6 years. The both sides have the ability to take the public eye off the real problems. I’m referring to job growth, illegal immigration, and distribution of wealth. There always seems to be a new catastrophe to take our attention off these problems. The Democrats should offer the Republicans to close our borders immediately in exchange for the Republicans to agree to close the loopholes in our tax codes that protect large corporations and the 1% of Americans that control the wealth of our nation. This is just one simple solution to a major problem, but we have simple politicians that refuse to put our country firstt instead of their political agendas.
We always look forward to your comments, critique and kudos. email: rmatz@militarypress.com editorsdesk@militarypress.com
Richard Matz, Publisher
August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 3
TOP TEN
America’s top 10 worst tax-dodging companies By Josh Kilburn According to a recent report released by Americans for Tax Fairness, corporate taxes may be at their lowest point in 60 years — in part because the corporations have become better at avoiding their taxes to begin with. The report singles out the ten most egregious tax-dodging companies, and explains how they do it in great detail. Loopholes include caps on executive pay taxes, deductions for fines paid when companies break the law, and other unnecessary write-offs. Common Dreams further reports that in 2013, U.S. companies hoarded
$1.64 trillion over seas — 12% more than than the previous year.
10. Bank of America
It shouldn’t surprise anyone seeing a bank on this list, especially not this poorly named treasonous giant. According to the report, Bank of America runs its business through more than 300 off-shore tax-havens. It reported $17.2 billion dollars in profits for 2012, and would have owed$4.3 billion dollars in taxes if this was brought back to the United States.
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4. Merck
8. Exxon Mobil
3. Microsoft
Another big bank; Citigroup has a significant chunk of the $11.5 billion dollars it should have paid in taxes to the U.S. parked in tax haven countries. It made a grand total of $42 billion in profits in the year 2012, but paid zero of that in taxes.
If pressed to name the most evil corporations on the planet, Exxon Mobil joins the likes of Rio Tinto and De Beers, achieving a notoriety comparable to a real-life Weyland-Yutani or Omnicorp. The quintessential Big Oil Company had a three-year federal tax on income of just 15%. We gave the company a taxpayer subsidized profit of $6.2 billion in 2012. By the end of the fourth quarter in 2012, they had raked in $43 billion dollars in profits, and paid zero in taxes.
7. FedEx
FedEx made $6 billion in profits over the last three years, and paid exactly none of that in taxes. In fact, they got a tax subsidy of $21 billion dollars, paid for and gift-wrapped, courtesy of the taxpayers.
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9. Citigroup
OVER
SERVING THOSE WHO SERVE
6. General Electric
GE’s has it really good on the backs of the taxpayers according to the report. They pocketed $21.8 billion in taxpayer contracts from the government during the period from 2006 to 2012. Then, they dodged their tax responsibility, gaining a tax subsidy — again, courtesy of the taxpayers — of nearly $29 billion over the last 11 years.
5. Honeywell
A jack-of-all trades company, Honeywell sure managed to find the honey. Honeywell made $1.7 billion in tax subsidies, and while they paid $50 million to the Federal government in the years from 2009 to 2012, they made $5 billion in that same period. This puts their tax rate at a paltry 1%.
While dodging its fair share of income taxes, the pharmaceutical company Merck managed to net $8.7 billion dollars in taxpayer contracts from 2006 to 2012. Of their $13.6 million in profits, only $2.5 billion went to federal income taxes in 2009 through 2012. The software company downloaded $4.5 billion in savings by uploading their profits to the tax haven of Puerto Rico. In 2012, the company had $60.8 billion dollars stashed off-shore, and paid nothing in U.S. taxes.
2. Pfizer
From 201o to 2012, the pharmaceutical company paid no income tax at all, while netting $43 billion worldwide. It also receives a taxpayer-sponsored gift of $2.2 billion dollars, in federal tax returns.
1. Verizon
Verizon paid nothing in taxes from 2008 to 2012, while making $19.3 billion dollars. Instead of paying taxes, it received a nice gift of $535 million from the American Taxpayers in tax subsidies — it’s really nice of us to keep giving these companies all this money, isn’t it? We’re so generous we made Verizon’s effective tax rate negative! That’s right. Verizon has a -2.8% tax rate from 2008 to 2012.
Honorable mention
We are not sure why Apple didn’t make Americans for Tax Fairness’ list. Because they manage to be so evil while still having huge appeal to liberal, creative types, we feel obliged to give them an Honorable mention. Common Dreams reports Apple hoarded $158.8 billion in cash overseas in 2013. The New York Times adds that “Apple’s tax avoidance efforts shifted at least $74 billion from the reach of the Internal Revenue Service between 2009 and 2012.”
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Last crewman of the Enola Gay dies at 93 Nearly 69 years ago, Theodore “Dutch” Van Kirk navigated a U.S. B-29 Superfortress called the Enola Gay over Hiroshima, Japan, on a sunny August day. Once over its target, the Enola Gay unloaded the first atomic bomb dropped in war. A single bomb blast killed some 140,000 people and helped end World War II -- and pushed the world suddenly into the nuclear era. On Monday, July 28, Van Kirk died of natural causes at the Park Springs retirement community in Stone Mountain, Georgia, according to his eldest daughter Vicki Triplett. He was 93. His death means there are now no surviving members of the Enola Gay’s crew who, by doing their jobs, became an early and integral part in the ongoing narrative over nuclear weapons. While in the U.S. military, Van Kirk flew dozens of missions in Europe and North Africa. Yet the history books will largely remember him and others aboard that B-29 for the morning of August 6, 1945. By then, Van Kirk had flown about 15 missions out of England and about 10 more out of North Africa. He then returned to the United States with new orders, training “primarily to make the
rapid turn and running away from the bomb,” Van Kirk recalled decades later to CNN. They dropped the bomb dubbed “Little Boy” around 8:15 a.m. “You didn’t see anything except a bright flash and the airplane,” Van Kirk recalled. “You saw a white cloud hanging over the city. You saw the -- underneath the cloud the entire city was just entirely covered with smoke and dust, and it looked like a pot of boiling oil down there.” His first thought when the bomb fell was “’God, I’m glad it worked ... Number two, the thoughts were, ‘This war is
Theodore ts Jr., Major et b ib T l Sgt u a ee, Col P nbury and homas Fereb ewis, Sgt Wyatt Duze T r jo a M : tL Enola Gay , Capt. Rober Crew of the mit Beahan er K t. p a C , Van Kirk n. (Getty) George Caro over.’ And that was good. That was good.’” Three days later, another atomic bomb was dropped on Nagasaki. Japan surrendered soon after that, ending the bloody war in the Pacific and, in so doing, preventing a U.S. land invasion.
HOUSING
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August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 5
Dwight D. Eisenhower 34th President of the United States Served from Jan. 20, 1953 to Jan. 20, 1961
“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
1955 Cadillac
Richard M. Nixon 36th Vice President of the United States Served from Jan. 20, 1953 to Jan. 20, 1961
World events
• U.S. military intervention in Iran • Great Britain declares state of emergency due to national rail strike • The first commercial TV station with advertisements starts in London • The St. Lawrence Seaway opens to ocean vessels from Montreal to U.S. ports on the Great Lakes • The Soviet Union and its Eastern Bloc allies sign the Warsaw Pact giving integration of military, economic and cultural policy between the eight Communist nations • Ruth Ellis, the last woman in England to be executed, is hung at Holloway Prison • 77 die in a disaster at 24-hour Le Mans Race • New polyurethane is used more and more in everyday goods • West Germany joins NATO
“Our • PEZ was original-
• The military seizes control in Argentina, forcing Juan Peron to flee
U.S. news
• Hurricane Diane hits the northeast U.S., killing 200 and causing over $1 billion in damage • “In God We Trust” is added to all U.S. paper currency • United Airlines Flight 629 is blown up shortly after takeoff over Longmont, Colorado • Rosa Parks’ arrest for not giving up her bus seat to a white person in Montgomery, Alabama, sets the American Civil
Rights Movement in motion • Emmett Till, a black 14-year-old teenager, is murdered for not showing respect to a white woman in Money, Miss. • Jonas Salk produces the vaccine to prevent polio
American ly created as a mint dispenser in 1927, values but soon after the Pez Hass Austrian candyluxumaker the are not company decided to place ries, butdispensers and heads on the market them to children. Santa Claus necessities — not the and Mickey Mouse were the first renditions. salt in our bread, but the bread itself.” Movies — Jimmy Carter • Blackboard Jungle
• East of Eden • The Night of the Hunter • To Catch a Thief • Oklahoma!
Popular culture
• Disneyland opens in California • Though McDonald’s began in California by the McDonald brothers who initiated the low price fast food concept, it was not until 1955 when Ray Kroc opened the first McDonald’s franchise chain in Des Plains, Ill., that it became what it is today.
1955 Thunderbird 6 August August1, 15, 2014 2014 THE THEMILITARY MILITARYPRESS PRESS
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remember when...
5 5 19 AVERAGE COST OF LIVING
TV shows
• Gunsmoke • Alfred Hitchcock Presents • Cheyenne • The Honeymooners • The Little Rascals • Highway Patrol • The Lawrence Welk Show • The Mickey Mouse Club • Captain Kangaroo
Music
• “Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White,” Perez Prado • “Rock Around The Clock,” Bill Haley and His Comets • “The Yellow Rose of Texas,” Mitch Miller • “Autumn Leaves,” Roger Williams • “Unchained Melody,” Les Baxter • “Sixteen Tons,” Tennessee Ernie Ford
BORN THIS YEAR: Bill Gates, Microsoft founder. Above left: Howie Mandel, comedian/game show host; Reba McEntire, country singer/TV star; Willem Dafoe, movie actor; Whoppi Goldberg, comedian/actress/talk show host.
Born this year
• Steve Jobs, Apple Computer • Bill Gates, Microsoft • Tony Dungy, first AfricanAmerican NFL head coach • Whoopi Goldberg, comedian/ actress • Kevin Costner, actor • Willem Dafoe, actor • Olga Korbut, Olympic gymnast, USSR • Reba McEntire, singer/actress • Donatella Versace, fashion designer
• Income per year ........ $4,130 • Minimum wage ............... 75¢ • New house ............. $15,000 • Monthly rent ..................... $87 • New car ..................... $1,900 • Gallon of gas ................... 23¢ • Dozen eggs ..................... 61¢ • Gallon of milk .................. 92¢ • Loaf of bread ................... 18¢ • First-class stamp ............... 3¢ • Movie ticket ..................... 50¢
1955 Chevy Bel Air
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August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 7
Military community pays tribute to ‘true friend’ Robin Williams
COMMUNITY
8 August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
By Hollie McKay, FoxNews.com LOS ANGELES – Robin Williams participated in United Service Organization (USO) tours for more than a decade, entertaining troops in war zones from Afghanistan to Iraq to Kuwait. He made many trips to 13 different countries and performing stand-up routines for almost 90,000 troops. So the news of his death -- believed to be a suicide -- sent shock waves through the U.S. armed forces. Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel said Monday that the entire Department of Defense community “mourns the loss” of the Hollywood figure. “Robin was a gifted actor and comedian, but he was also a true friend and supporter of our troops,” he said in a statement. “From entertaining thousands of service men and women in war zones, to his philanthropy that helped veterans struggling with hidden wounds of war, he was a loyal and compassionate advocate for all who serve this nation in uniform.” The USO added that “Robin circled the globe entertaining troops and families. He will always be a part of our USO family and will be sorely missed.” Fellow Hollywood actor Gary Sinise, himself a tireless advocate for the troops, took to Twitter to acknowledge Williams’s “genius as an artist and comedian,” and his love for the armed forces which “no doubt was much appreciated by all who serve.” Indeed it was. “In the military in the last 15 years? Then you’ve probably got a Robin Williams story,” one former service member tweeted. Another wrote “thanks for making us laugh when we needed it the most.” Another observed that he was a “beloved figure” on base while one veteran tweeted: “Nobody had our back more than the great Robin Williams. A generation of troops will forever be grateful.” Williams, 63, was said to be in a deep depression in the past weeks, something many veterans can relate to. “Many veterans are expressing their grief, because depression does not discriminate. It effects the best of us as much as it craves attention from
the worst in us. Robin put himself out there so much, especially for troops in combat,” Lt. Col. Arnold V. Strong, an Army Reserve officer and veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan, told FOX411. “I saw him myself in Kuwait in December 2004. So many of us saw him as a heart of gold, despite his demons.” Strong also noted that many in the military community are hurting to hear of Williams’s death because “we too have our own ghosts and inner hurts” and depression powerfully resonates. “Far too many of us are dealing with these issues through prescription drugs that are but one tool in a much broader tool kit of healing arts,” he said. “I fear that the initial sadness that so many of us are expressing may just as easily turn to anger within days because we all know fellow veterans that have taken their own lives.” Military.com posted a tribute to Williams highlighting perhaps on of his most memorable interactions with deployed men and women, a 2007 appearance to Camp Arifjan, Kuwait. In the video, the actor is left stunned when, suddenly, everyone turns away from him as a “Retreat” ceremony begins during his stand-up routine. Williams was unaware at the time that the American flag on base was being lowered to end the day and by tradition, troops immediately stand at attention. The humble performer improvised with a humorous response. “I’m not going to forget that. I’ve never had an entire audience just go ‘forget you!’ he lamented, before turning his own back on the large crowd of laughing soldiers. According to a source closely connected to the late comedian, he was very earnest and deeply engaged with issues involving our military. “Robin was very sensitive and compassionate person,” said the insider. “He cared a lot about the men and women over there fighting.” “He really put his money where his mouth is,” one prominent entertainment industry added. “Unlike so many, when he sought to help people, he really went ahead and helped people.”
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News briefs... Marines change special duty pay Most special duty assignment pay rates are scheduled to be revised to meet budgetary constraints beginning Oct. 1. Most Marines reporting to special duty assignments after the effective date will receive a lower rate than in previous years. Special duty pay adjustments will affect Marines serving as recruiters, drill instructors, combat instructors and embassy security guards, among other billets; however,
Marines who started serving in special duty assignments before Oct. 1 will be grandfathered and will not experience any pay changes. Some special duty assignment pay allowances will increase after a 12-month introductory period. For example, after serving one year as a drill instructor a Marine’s special duty pay will increase from Level 3, $225 to Level 4, $300.
Military mail makes changes Changes to military postal operations (MPO) are intended to save the Defense Department $4 million annually while providing services comparable to the U.S. Postal Service. The changes will go into effect during October and November, 2014. For changes of address, automated equipment will intercept a letter if a change of address is on file and redirect
it to the new address. Servicemembers will now have to go online at www.usps. com and complete an Internet change of address. Authorized MPO patrons will be charged a $1 verification fee to their credit or debit cards, just as they would if they were changing their domestic address. For more information, visit http://hqdainet.army.mil/mpsa/index.htm.
President signs $16.3B bill to overhaul VA President Barack Obama on has signed major Veterans Affairs Department legislation intended to speed up access to healthcare for thousands of veterans and hold accountable any executives deemed to be incompetent or abusing their positions. The $16.3 billion Veterans Access,
Choice and Accountability Act expands community healthcare options for veterans who face long wait times or commutes; funds the hiring of more doctors, nurses and other health-care workers; and improves accountability by making it easier for the agency secretary to fire problem executives.
LEAVING
ACTIVE DUTY? Keep Serving in the California National Guard There are openings statewide for prior service personnel in both Officer and Enlisted Ranks
DoD working on POV shipping issues The military is currently addressing concerns military customers are facing when shipping their privately owned vehicles. Navy officials acknowledge the transfer to the new POV contractor did not go as smoothly as it could have. Military personnel and DoD civilian employees who are experiencing delays with their vehicle arrival time should call IAL at 1-855-389-9499 and choose Option 2, or visit www.pcsmypov.com. Customers can be reimbursed
for rental car fees incurred after their vehicle’s original required delivery date is missed. While the first seven days of rental car fees are handled by the member’s local military or government claims office, rental car fees incurred after the initial seven-day period will be reimbursed by IAL via an “inconvenience claim.” For details on each of the three options for filing a claim, visit www.pcsmypov.com/FAQ.
Packing tips for military mail Here are several tips for safely getting your package through military mail: (1) have secure labeling on the outside of packaging using tape; (2) provide full, accurate mailing addresses and return addresses; (3) include identical information inside the package, parcel, bag or trunk in case the mailing label comes off; (4) include a phone number and email address inside of the package; (5) track all mailed items when possible and always con-
firm receipt with the recipient; (6) include secure tags on all items, especially duffel bags or trunks with military equipment; and (7) when searching through the Mail Recovery Center, provide accurate, detailed descriptions of missing items, especially unique items. Servicemembers who call the Postal Service’s toll-free customer service number -- 1-800-275-8777 -- should say they are military and provide a tracking number for the missing item.
• Keep your retirement benefits • Maintain your rank • Healthcare benefits • Part-time service in your community • Up to 100% tuition assistance • Enjoy the camaraderie • S witch to a new career field or keep your current career
EDUCATION
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August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 9
said, “Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.”
Another doggone blond joke
How many blonds does it take?
A blond and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blond jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this”. She goes downstairs. The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, “The dog is still barking, What have you been doing?” The blond says, “I put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how THEY like it!”
Just for Laughs
PUZZLE PAGE
A blond was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blond, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blond went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blond roommate saw her and asked, “What are you doing?” The first blond told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and
ACROSS 1. Anagram of “Meat” 5. Infants 9. A Maori club 13. Applications 14. French for “Love” 16. Offended 17. Grumble 18. Name of a book 19. Diva’s solo 20. Damp 22. Cable 24. Colored part of an eye 26. TV, radio, etc. 27. Custodian 30. Women’s stockings 33. Gave forth 35. Hindu loincloth 37. Diminish 38. Films of impurities 41. Little bit 42. Animal hides 45. Blowback 48. Property 51. Remedy 52. Reveals 54. Infiltrator 55. Frivolity 59. Hold responsible 62. “What a shame!” 63. Run away to wed 65. Cain’s brother 66. Nonclerical 67. Showers with love 68. Burrowing marine mollusk 69. Gambling game 70. Sharpen 71. Cravings
Irritated mom
A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement. He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, ‘Mother of Six’, in spite of her objections. One night they went to a party. He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouted at the top of his voice,”Shall we go home, Mother of Six?” His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion shouted back, “Anytime you’re ready, Father of Four!”
Jumping to conclusions
A man, who smelled like a distillery, flopped down on a subway seat next to
DOWN 1. Large indefinite quantity 2. Brother of Jacob 3. Temporary 4. A painkiller 5. Make lace 6. Leave out 7. Clan emblem 8. Glum 9. Egyptian king 10. Emanation 11. Journey 12. Salt Lake state 15. Slender
10 August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
21. Devil tree 23. Decorate with gold leaf 25. Drunkards 27. Landrover 28. Yellowish-brown 29. Record (abbrev.) 31. Pronounced 32. Look at with fixed eyes 34. Make a copy of a recording 36. Notion 39. Chart 40. Fraud
a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled man turned to the priest and said, “Say, Father, what causes arthritis?” “Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, and a contempt for your fellow man.” “Well, I’ll be damned,” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry, I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?” “I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading that the Pope does.”
Slick
An older, white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, “I don’t think you understand, I want something very special.” At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. “Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000,” the jeweler said. The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excite-
43. Hot sauce 44. Thin strip 46. A round handle 47. False belief 49. Cornered 50. Lemon or canary 53. Indolence 55. Hesitate 56. Wings 57. Acquire 58. Type of sword 60. Average 61. Shade trees 64. Eastern Standard Time
ment. The old man seeing this said, “We’ll take it.” The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check. “I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon,” he said. Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. “There’s no money in that account.” “I know”, said the old man, “but can you imagine the weekend I had?”
Potent impotent
Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes balistic, “You impotent idiot. How could you lie to me all these years?” Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, “I’ll explain the toy, you explain the kids.”
Cover up
A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. A man didn’t come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband’s 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.
This week’s solutions:
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Neighborhood parks. Yours at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta.
BE OPEN
Many KB Home neighborhoods feature amazing amenities like parks, ball fields, playgrounds and more. At KB Home, we’re ready to build you a great new home AND a relaxing new lifestyle.
Ironwood at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta Homes from the mid $300s
Acacia at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta Homes from the mid $300s
• 2,628–4,506 sq. ft., 3–6 bedrooms., 2–6 baths • parks, baseball field, tot lots and more
• 2,343–2,894 sq. ft., 3–5 bdrms., 2–4 baths • single-story homes, solar included
From I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4150
From I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4057
Broker Cooperation Welcome. ©2014 KB Home (KBH). A 1.4kW solar power system is included as a standard component of a new KB home at Mahogany Hills. Energy bill savings are based on estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas for a home as designed (not as built) with the corresponding solar power system compared to estimated monthly costs for electricity and gas without the system. KBH makes no guarantee of energy production by any solar power system installed with a home or of energy costs or savings, if any, experienced by any homeowner. Energy costs and savings, if any, will vary by floor plan, home size, occupancy, daily activities, appliance usage, thermostat settings, climate conditions and orientation of the home and the solar power system size and operating conditions, among other factors. KBH reserves the right to modify, discontinue or replace any solar options at any time without prior notice. Other restrictions and limitations may apply. Solar power systems are supplied by SunPower Corporation®. KBH and SunPower Corporation are independent companies. SunPower and the SunPower logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of SunPower Corporation. Plans, pricing, financing, terms, availability and specifications subject to change/prior sale without notice and may vary by neighborhood, lot location and home series. Buyer responsible for all taxes, insurance and other fees. Sq. footage is approximate. HOA applies. Photos may depict upgraded landscaping/options and may not represent lowest-priced homes. Photo does not depict racial preference. See sales representative for details. KB Home Sales–Southern California Inc. (CA Real Estate License 00242327). SOCAL-120253
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August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 11
12 August 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
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