FR EE
Serving Those Who Serve Us
Volume 38 • #18 • September 15, 2014
Image removed due to copyright restriction.
HACKING the nation
Think you’re safe? Don’t be so sure. Cover girl Kate Upton and other stars hacked, see page 4
Celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton are a special case. Hackers target them for nude photos, because their private lives are prized treasure for creeps. For the rest of us, it’s all about our credit cards and identities. That’s why hackers likely targeted the Home Depot’s (HD) payments systems this year, along
with Albertson’s, Target, Michaels, Neiman Marcus, P.F. Chang’s and SuperValu. Think you’re immune? Think again. As CNNMoney reported exclusively, half of American adults were hacked this year. Here’s what hackers are after — and what they’re getting. Credit cards: Every time you swipe a debit card at a store, that transaction is processed on a computer network. That network is connected to the Internet.
Hackers break into those computers from far away, infect them with a virus and steal card data. That’s how Target lost 40 million debit and credit cards last year. The episode has costTarget (TGT) $146 million so far. Investors got lower returns. The CEO was sacked. This type of hack has become more common in recent years. Still not convinced? Use this CNNMoney tool to see what hackers know about you. http://goo.gl/oiJgO2/
ackers Why are we all getting hacked? It’s simple economics.
EDUCATION
According to the U.S. Department of Labor, employment for cybersecurity professionals is projected to grow by 37% by 2020.* Reinvent yourself to meet the growing demand for cybersecurity professionals, whether in the military or out. Plus, you can learn from experts using curriculum that’s continually assessed by advisory councils so you can be confident you’re learning the latest developments in the field.
THE DEMAND FOR CYBERSECURITY HAS NEVER BEEN BIGGER. LEARN THE SKILLS YOU NEED FOR THE CAREER YOU WANT. B.S. IN CYBERSECURITY M.S. IN CYBERSECURITY STUDIES
AMUONLINE.COM/PRESS *Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Department of Labor, Occupational Outlook Handbook report on Information Security Analysts (Job Outlook, 2012 -2022). Published Date: Jan. 8, 2014. We want you to make an informed decision about the university that’s right for you. For more about the graduation rate and median debt of students who completed each program, as well as other important information—visit www.APUS.edu/disclosure.
2 September 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
We can fly to the moon, but we can’t secure the Cloud HACKERS, cont’d. from Page 3 Identity theft can be much worse than credit card fraud. Your credit history can be ruined. Good luck buying a house. Someone can rack up a criminal record in your name. Cleaning that up is a mess.
And credit card hacks will keep happening (see related article). Retailers haven’t yet figured out how to guard their Internet-connected payment systems. Plus, we’re swiping cards that are fundamentally insecure. Magnetic stripes use 1950s technology. It’s easy to grab their data, slap it on blank cards and sell them online. Making matters worse, the United States has yet to join the rest of the world and upgrade to chip-enabled smart cards, which are harder to reproduce. Everyone is hurting. Remember: The costs of hacking get passed along to you, the consumer. Then there’s the annoyance every time a bank reissues your card. It costs banks $3 to $5 each, and you go a week without a card. Those costs get passed onto you as well. Identities: They’re not just after your money. Hackers want to impersonate you too. Why? On the black market, old credit cards only fetch $1 each. Medical records go for $50 a pop. They’re more valuable, because criminals use your Social Security number to fraudulently bill insurance, Medicare or Medicaid or get prescriptions for controlled drugs. The FBI estimates that fraud makes up 3% to 10% of the $2.5 trillion the United States spends on health care annually. That adds up to a whopping $75 billion to $250 billion a year. Taxpayers everywhere are footing the bill.
And scammers can steal your tax refund by filing claims in your name, freezing future tax refunds for years. It’s so widespread, the IRS paid $3.6 billion in fraudulent tax refunds in 2012. There’s not much you can do to stop them from getting your personal information — it is more ac-
cessible than ever. We type our Social Security numbers into online job applications and loan requests. Medical records, by default, now live on hospital computer servers. That’s why it’s so alarming that 90% of hospitals and clinics lose their patients’ data to data breaches and hackers stole data on 4.5 million patients when they broke into a hospital network this year.
What you can do: We’ve moved our entire lives online, yet most of us refuse to take the proper precautions. Retailers, hospitals, government agencies, teenagers, adults — we’re all guilty. We stupidly reuse the same, short password. We answer easy-to-guess security questions honestly. So here’s what to do: Avoid using your debit card — ever. If it’s compromised, criminals can empty your checking account. Use cash instead. Or use your credit card, because then you’re not liable for fraud. Change your passwords frequently, and use better ones. Password123 is easy to remember but easy to crack. Something like H&uy91oP is hard to remember but still easy to crack. Use a long, wacky passphrase like, My52ndDinosaurHouseIsOnFiiire!. But you’re probably not going to do anything after reading this. And that’s why you’ll keep getting hacked.
September 15, 2014 Publisher Richard T. Matz
Production / Web Sandra Powers • Joe Yang
Customer Service Manager Carol Williams
Distribution Robert Wood
Advertising Manager Valerie Swaine
Contributing Writers Doug Aguillard Crystal Arriaga Mort Fertel • Art Garcia Howard Hian • Keith Angelin Jeri Jacquin, The Movie Maven Jessamyn Patterson
Account Representatives: Michelle Hull Victoria Wills Public Relations Lisa Matz
Contact Us: 430 North Cedar, Suite C • Escondido, CA 92025 Tel 858.537.2280 Fax 858.578.3882 www.militarypress.com ª editorsdesk@militarypress.com The Military Press Newsmagazine is published semi-monthly on the 1st and the 15th by Military Press Newspaper, a commercial, free-enterprise newspaper. It does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Department of the Navy and is no way associated with the Department of the Navy. The editorial objective of the Military Press is to promote support for a strong military presence. The opinions and views of the writers whose materials appear herein are those of the writers and not the publisher. Appearance of advertising does not constitute endorsement by the Military Press Newspaper. Consumers should make informed decisions when purchasing products and services, and when considering business opportunities, and research before investing. Subscription by mail is $50 per year to CONUS or FPO addresses.
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September 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 3
A hacker may have been responsible for leaking explicit photos of celebrities due to a weak link in their Apple iCloud accounts. Here’s what you can do to keep your embarrassing selfies (and company secrets) out of the public eye.
After alleged iCloud breach, here’s how to secure your personal cloud By Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols In light of the news that an alleged hacker cracked the iCloud accounts of celebrities, such as Jennifer Lawrence and Kate Upton, to reveal their private, intimate photos, there remains a high level of speculation and rumor over exactly what happened. Since the photos showed up immediately after an Apple “Find My iPhone” exploit was revealed, many are pointing their fingers at Apple’s own security situation. The security exploit in question “ibrute” was published on GitHub on Saturday. It used a security hole in the Find My iPhone service application programming interface (API). The hole allowed hackers to keep trying one password after another until they found one that worked. Once a password was found, it could then be used to access a user’s iCloud account. Apple told Recode on Monday it was “actively investigating” if these iCloud accounts had been hacked. The iPhone and iPad maker rarely talks to the press, suggesting it is taking the alleged breach very seriously. While this was an awful security hole, the exploit relies on ordinary account owners using bad passwords. The automated exploit uses a list of just 500 common passwords. Indeed, with this hacker tool, you can’t really call these attacks “hacks” at all. All a would-be attacker needed is the email address you use for your Apple ID. If you had a common and easy-to-guess password, your files could have been in an attacker’s hands in less time than it will take you to read this story. Some experts believe that this is
only the beginning of a flood of iCloud security hacks. So, if you want to keep your intimate photos private, or your company’s industry secrets safe you must start by using something other than “password” or “123456” for your password. Rather than lecture you yet again on why you should use good passwords, let me suggest that you use easy-to-remember, buthard to crack passwords that use phrases rather than random characters. So, for example, “Steelers?Win!Cowboys?Lose!” or “Volt!Amp!Tesla!Edison?” won’t be cracked by any common password cracker program but you’ll be able to recall such phrases much more easily than say “ufc#1310.” Safe passwords don’t have to be memory twisters. They just have to be hard for computers to work out, and phrases make great passwords. If you don’t think you can keep track of phrase passwords, password managers are readily available. Such programs as RoboForm and LastPass make it easy to stay on top of your passwords. But for the sites and services that really care about keeping data safe, twofactor authentication can be the strongest tool ordinary users have to prevent unauthorized access to their data. With this method, even if someone has your password to change it they must also have access to a device that should only be in your hands such as a phone. Typically, two-factor authentication systems will send you an e-mail or text message, or call you, requiring you to enter a code before your password can be changed.
4 September 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
Here’s how to turn on two-factor authentication on the most popular personal cloud storage services: Apple iCloud 1. Login to My Apple ID. 2. Pick “Manage your Apple ID and sign in” 3. Select “Password and Security” 4. Under “Two-Step Verification,” select “Get Started,” and follow the instructions. Note: Be aware that when you change your Apple ID to two-factor authentication, it’s a one-way journey. You can only change your password afterwards by using the twofactor method. Dropbox 1. Sign in to Dropbox. 2. Click on your name from the upper-right of any page to open your account menu. 3. Click “Settings” from the account menu and select the “Security” tab. 4. Under “Two-step verification” section, click “Enable.” Click “Get started” and follow the instructions. Note: You will need to re-enter your password to enable two-factor verification. Once you do, you’ll be given the choice to receive your security code by text or to use a mobile app.
Google Drive 1. Login to Google from this link. 2. Enter your phone number. 3. Enter the code that you’ll get from either a text or a voice phone call. 4. Follow the instructions. Note: You will need to get a new code for each PC or device that uses any Google services. For some services, such as Gmail when accessed on an Apple device or by a mail client or some instant message clients, you’ll also need to set an application specific password. Microsoft OneDrive 1. Login to your Microsoft Account. 2. Go to “Security & Password.” 3. Under “Password and security info,” tap or click “Edit security info.” 4. Under “Two-step verification,” tap or click “Set up two-step verification.” 5. Click “Next,” and then follow the instructions. Note: Microsoft may require you to enter a security code that the company will send to your phone or email before you can turn on twostep verification. Two-factor authentication won’t protect you if your photos or data are already out there, but it will help prevent such attacks from succeeding in the future.
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
Despite logistics, USO Pacific helps troops celebrate birthdays far from home Birthdays aren’t supposed to be stressful. But when you’re separated by the world’s largest ocean and a dozen time zones, nothing is easy. Luckily, families with loved ones serving in the Pacific don’t have to figure out the closest bakery to base, or if that bakery can translate their message or even deliver the cake. All they have to do is contact USO Pacific and ask about Operation Birthday Cake. “USO Pacific’s Operation Birthday Cake is an amazing signature program that connects loved ones around the world,” said Carly Harris, USO Pacific regional vice president. So far, the pro-
gram has delivered over 1,000 surprise birthday cakes to troops serving in the Pacific. For many stateside families, an OBC surprise is the easiest way they can send warm wishes and celebrate their deployed loved one’s special day. “[The service member’s family is] just happy that we could reach out and do something special for their loved one on a day when sometimes they can’t even call because of the time difference, technology, or whatever the issue may be,” said USO Camp Casey Manager Katie Kerr.
Leaving the service? Get your records to the VA Servicemembers need to take an active role in getting their medical and dental records to the Department of Veterans Affairs at retirement or separation. Before a Sailor separates or retires, commanding officers (CO) and officers in charge (OIC) are responsible for ensuring that the Service Treatment Records (STR), medical and dental records, are at the appropriate medical and dental facilities. This guarantees that the records will be available to the VA. COs and OICs are directed to pro-
New ‘in-state tuition’ rule for GI Bill
vide a quarterly list of personnel who have separated or retired that includes their name, separation date, date their STR was made available to the medical/dental facility, and an explanation for STRs not provided by the separation date, if necessary.
Currently Post-9/11 benefits cover all in-state tuition and fees at public colleges and universities. But an estimated 3800 veterans annually face substantial out-of-pocket costs because they elect to attend state-run colleges as non-residents. That will soon change with a new
New to the VA?
At the www.explore.va.gov website, you can find information on every VA benefit and what you qualify for. All the forms you need to apply are there.
JEWELRY
Airman denied reenlistment over refusal to say ‘so help me God’ By Abby Ohlheiser, The Washington Post An airman stationed at Creech Air Force Base in Indian Springs, Nev., was denied reenlistment because he omitted the part of a required oath that states “so help me God,” according to a letter from the American Humanist Association. The letter was sent on Tuesday to the Air Force’s Office of the Inspector General on behalf of an unnamed airman. The AHA said it is prepared to sue for what the organization says is a violation of the Establishment Clause in the U.S. Constitution, unless the Air Force permits its members to enlist without
law that will require schools to charge veterans using the GI Bill to receive in-state tuition rates. However, the first thing veterans using GI Bill education benefits should understand about new “in-state tuition” protection is that it won’t take effect until the fall semester of 2015.
Capture Her Heart with Harris!
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the religious portion of the oath. The letter says that the airman “was told that his options were to say, ‘so help me God’ or to leave the Air Force.” Inquiries into the oath uncovered a change to Air Force rules last year that previously went unnoticed, as the Air Force Times noted. Until October 2013, Air Force Instruction 36-2606 (which governs the enlistment oath) included a short note: “Airmen may omit the words ‘so help me God,’ if desired for personal reasons.” That was removed in an amendment to the rule, effective Oct. 30, 2013, according to the Air Force Times.
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SERVING THOSE WHO SERVE ©2013 HONY
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*Offer ends Tuesday, September 30, 2014. ONLINE ONLY- NOT VALID IN STORES. Cannot be combined with other offers-including Gift Set Pricing or Military Appreciation Discounts. Discount not valid on Jewelry & Watch Protection Plans, Ring Sizing and other services. Discount is also not valid on the following items: Military Teddy Bears, Cross of Devotion®, Token of Pride®, Heart of Love®, Forever as One™ and Medal of Honor®. Other merchandise exclusions may apply. Not valid on returns or exchanges. All credit sales subject to approval. www.harrisjewelry.com
September 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 5
Lyndon B. Johnson 36th President of the United States Served from Nov. 22, 1963 to Jan. 20, 1969
“We did not choose to be the guardians of the gate, but there is no one else.” — Lyndon Johnson
1965 Chevy Corvette
Cat Ballou Hubert Humphrey 38th Vice President of the United States Served from Jan. 20, 1965 to Jan. 20, 1969
World events
• Australia joins Vietnam war • Hindi becomes the official language of India • The Maple leaf becomes Canada’s new national flag symbol • Rhodesia declares unilateral independence from Great Britain and becomes Zimbabwe • India and Pakistan fighting continues to escalate • Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs escapes from prison and flees to Brazil • Cigarette advertising banned on television in Britain • Following attempted coup by communists in Indonesia lead to the murder of over half million people and a transition to the new order led by Major General Suharto
• Operation Rolling Thunder launched in Vietnam • U.S. begins airlift of Cubans wishing to leave Cuba and live in America
U.S. news
• Palm Sunday tornado outbreak kills 256 to 271 people • Race riots break out in Watts, California, leaving large parts of the city burnt and looted and 34 dead • Northeast blackout — several states (VT, NH, MA, CT, RI, NY and portions of NJ) and parts of Canada hit by series of blackouts lasting up to 13-1/2 hours and involving 30 million people
• Higher Education Act of 1965 is signed • The 630-foot-tall into law providing steel Gateway Arch is low-interest loans for completed in St. Louis students in higher edu• The Voting Rights cation Act, guaranteeing Afri• Warren Buffet can Americans the right gains controlling interto vote, becomes law est in Berkshire-Hath• Lyndon Johnson away — 1965 ($18 per announces increase in share), 2008 ($150,000 number of U.S. troops per share) in South Vietnam from • Troopers violently 75K to 125K confront civil rights • Hurricane Betsy Malcolm X marchers in Alabama makes landfall in the Bahamas, Florida and Louisiana, causing $1 billion in damTechnology age • Cosmonaut Aleksei • Pope Paul VI becomes the first Leonov, becomes the Pope to visit the U.S. first person to walk in • Malcolm X shot in New York space, leaving his space• Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. leads craft for 12 minutes civil rights march in Alabama from Selma to Montgomery
1965 Ford Mustang
6 August September 1, 2014 15, 2014 THETHE MILITARY MILITARY PRESS PRESS
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
remember when...
5 6 19 AVERAGE COST OF LIVING
Inventions
• Compact disc • Hypertext language • Respirator
Sports
• World Series: Dodgers over Minnesota, 4-3 • NBA Championship: Boston over Lakers, 4-1 • Racing driver Jim Clark wins the Indianapolis 500 and later wins the Formula One world driving championship in the same year
Popular culture
• Mini skirt makes its appearance in London
Movies
• Mary Poppins • The Flight of the Phoenix • Dr. Zhivago • In Harm’s Way • The Sound of Music • Goldfinger • Battle of the Bulge • What’s New Pussycat? • Cat Ballou
BORN THIS YEAR: Robert Downey Jr., actor. Above left: Elizabeth Hurley, actress; Charlie Sheen, TV & film actor; Chris Rock, comedian; Ben Stiller, actor/comedian
Music
• “Wooly Bully,” Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs • “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch),” Four Tops • “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction,” The Rolling Stones • “You Were on My Mind,” We Five • “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’,” The Righteous Brothers • “Downtown,” Petula Clark • “Help!,” The Beatles • “My Girl,” The Temptations
Born this year
• Dr. Dre • J.K. Rowling • Shawn Michaels • Slash • Ben Stiller • Booker T • Sarah Jessica Parker • Piers Morgan
• Income per year ........ $6,450 • Minimum wage ............ $1.25 • New house ............. $13,600 • Monthly rent .................. $118 • New car ..................... $2,650 • Gallon of gas ................... 31¢ • Dozen eggs ..................... 53¢ • Gallon of milk .................. 95¢ • Loaf of bread ................... 21¢ • First-class stamp ............... 5¢ • Movie ticket .................. $1.00
TV shows
• Days of Our Lives • I Dream of Jeannie • Hogan’s Heroes • Lost in Space • The Big Valley • Green Acres • Get Smart • F Troop • The Wild Wild West • Gidget
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September 15, September 2014 THE 15, 2014 MILITARY THE MILITARY PRESS 7 PRESS 7
LEAVING
ACTIVE DUTY? Keep Serving in the California National Guard There are openings statewide for prior service personnel in both Officer and Enlisted Ranks
• Keep your retirement benefits • Maintain your rank • Healthcare benefits • Part-time service in your community • Up to 100% tuition assistance • Enjoy the camaraderie • S witch to a new career field or keep your current career
Charity supports Purple Heart recipients The Wounded Warriors in Action Foundation (WWIA) is a 501c3 nonprofit organization that was started in 2007 to serve our military heroes that have returned home after being wounded in combat. Much more than a handshake or ovation at a ball game; WWIA takes these Purple Heart recipients on weekend-long events in small group settings with a senior mentor in order to provide them with world-class hunting and fishing experiences with other Wounded Warriors. This allows them to experience the mental and physical healing powers of the great outdoors. Additionally, they can reengage in the camaraderie of shared soldier experiences in the military. Doing something new or fulfilling a lifetime goal such as bagging the big fish or getting a nine point buck provides a much-needed confidence boost. The personal and professional lives of these Heroes have changed dramatically. WWIA strives to show these phenomenal Heroes that they can once again live meaningful lives and accomplish many milestones despite their current circumstances. Since most of our Heroes are struggling financially and would not be able to otherwise afford this once-in-a-lifetime healing opportunity, we have found that these opportunities can assist them on their healing journey.
All advertisers in this newspaper are 100% certified MILITARY-FRIENDLY! Visit or call them for great deals!
8 September 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
WWIA has had the honor of serving many Wounded Warrior Heroes in 35 different states, Mexico and British Columbia. Because of the generosity of the American public, we have been able to provide and facilitate these events for over seven years. WWIA is also able to make sure the Heroes have the opportunity to interact with the community, demonstrating that their sacrifices are truly appreciated, and adding a positive dimension to their healing process. One Hero mentions that the chance to be around other soldiers who shared some of the same experiences truly helped his road to recovery. When he added in the feeling of accomplishment at the end of the hunt and the fact that Americans had not forgotten his sacrifices, he says it was an “awesome life experience.” Another Hero commented that he came to this hunt “depressed about life” but came away “encouraged to live his dreams and strive to always do the right things.” Finally, a volunteer from a recent event said of the Heroes in attendance, “The healing process that took place during the event - you could just see the magic. It was unbelievable.” In campaigns such as CFC, 88% of every dollar donated to WWIA goes directly to supporting the combat wounded Purple Heart recipients in the program. As members of “America’s Best Charities,” donors can be assured that their dollars are going to a deserving organization. Your support will allow WWIA to continue to provide well-deserved events for Heroes that have made great sacrifices for our nation. Please visit us at wwiaf.org to find out more about our foundation.
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com
New, gorgeous Riverview Court homes priced to sell LAKESIDE, Calif. — Quinn Communities is pleased to announce six new home sites in Phase II have just been released. Homes will be sold on a first come, first served basis to those prequalified with the preferred lender. Move-in date for this phase is slated for end of November, 2014. Prices are anticipated from the low $400s. The community of Riverview Courts, is located at 9662 Caminito Quentin, just off Woodside Avenue at the corner of Riverview Avenue and Waterhill Rd. When complete, this new neighborhood will contain 26 singlefamily detached homes. All homes are of two story design and come in three distinct plans. Great finance packages are available including VA and FHA. This great neighborhood has lots of curb appeal with thoughtfully designed exterior style and colors. Every home comes with front-yard landscaping with automatic irrigation maintained by the HOA. There is full-yard fencing and a drywall complete 2-car garage with lots of storage.
A Riverview Courts kitchen comes with granite countertops, RTF cabinets and ceramic tile.
There are three floor plans offered at Riverview Courts. The Plan One comes with 1611 square feet of living space. When you enter this lovely home, you step onto an attractive foyer which flows into a light and airy expansive great room. There is a generous amount of space with 3 bedroom and 2.5 baths. The Plan Two at 1690 square feet offers 3 bedrooms and 2.5 baths plus a wonderful loft space that can be a game or TV room, study or a 4th bedroom. A great room, formal dining room and
large kitchen with island are just a few of the features of this residence. With 1832 square feet, the Plan Three is very spacious with up to 5 bedrooms and 2.5 baths. There is a lot of flexibility built into this plan. A downstairs office space can instead become part of the super great room or it can be utilized as a separate formal dining area or a 5th bedroom. With this home, you get an over-sized two-car garage that comes with a handy workbench area. The interiors are attractively styled
with 13”x13” ceramic tile at the entry, wall-to-wall carpeting, 3-1/2” baseboard wall trim and 2” door casings. The master suite presents a very generous walk-in closet, RTF cabinets with dual sinks and solid surface counters. There is also a private water closet and separate tub and shower. For more information call (619) 9713782 or email info@RiverviewCourts. com. For community updates, register online at RiverviewCourts.com. The sales office is open daily from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
HOUSING
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September 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 9
Dear Mr. Starr: The test on the dress came back inconclusive. Everyone in Arkansas has the same DNA.
Cheating
Just for Laughs American divorce
If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
Bad drivers
There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ‘’Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!’’ Herman says, ‘’I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!’’
Clearly cheating
PUZZLE PAGE
A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”
ACROSS 1. Among 5. Stairs 10. Gambit 14. Mongolian desert 15. Leg bone 16. Wander 17. Anagram of “Sire” 18. Insubordinate 20. Hopelessness 22. Spire 23. And so forth 24. Donkeys 25. Vulnerable 32. Earthquake 33. Noblemen 34. Neither ___ 37. Sea eagle 38. Attempted 39. Dad 40. Soak 41. Nigerian monetary unit 42. Of a pelvic bone 43. In the same manner 45. Scrawny one 49. Mesh 50. More difficult 53. Witness 57. A diplomat of the highest rank 59. Reasonable 60. Retain 61. Astound 62. Hawaiian strings 63. Being 64. Increased 65. In order to prevent
A woman was in bed having sex with her husband’s friend when the telephone rang. After hanging up, she says, ‘’That was Harry, but don’t worry -- he won’t be home for a while. He’s playing cards with you.’’
An Arkansas delivery
In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there’s yet another wee one to come.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another baby. “Now don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there’s yet another!” cried the doctor. The new father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor. “Do ya think it’s the light that’s attractin’ them?”
DOWN 1. Matured 2. Not less 3. Nile bird 4. Disseminate 5. Unbending 6. Layer 7. Diminish 8. Desserts 9. Sodium chloride 10. Jimmies 11. Eyelets 12. Small egg 13. Affirmatives 19. Conducts
10 September 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
21. “Smallest” particle 25. Applications 26. Roman emperor 27. Engine knock 28. Creepy 29. A marker of stones 30. Delicacy 31. A late time of life 34. Found on a finger 35. Iridescent gem 36. Risqué 38. Little bit 39. More than enough 41. Approaches 42. Frosts
David’s brother, David
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?” “Ten,” she replied. “What are their names?” he asked. “David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David,” she answered. “They’re all named David?” he asked “What if you want them to come in from playing outside?” “Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “I just call ‘David,’ and they all come running in.” “And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?” “I just say, ‘David, come eat your dinner’,” she answered. “But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?” he asked. “Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “I just use their last name!”
The farmer’s daughter
There once was a farmer who was raising 3 daughters on his own. He was very concerned about their well being and always did his best to watch out for them. As they entered their late teens the girls dated, and on this particular evening all three of his girls were going out on a date. This was the first time this had occurred. As was his custom, he would greet the young suitor at the door holding his shotgun, not to menace or threaten but merely to ensure that the young man knew who was boss.
44. Anagram of “Binder” 45. Investment 46. Arrives 47. Yokels 48. Slack-jawed 51. Brother of Jacob 52. Incline 53. Exude 54. Garden tool 55. Contends 56. At one time (archaic) 58. Dip lightly
The doorbell rang and the first of the boys arrived. Father answered the door and the lad said, “Hi, my name’s Joe, I’m here for Flo. We’re going to the show, is she ready to go?” The father looked him over and sent the kids on their way. The next lad arrived and said, “My name’s Eddie, I’m here for Betty, we’re gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?” Father felt this one was okay too, so off the two kids went. The final young man arrived and the farmer opened the door. The boy started off, “Hi, my name’s Chuck… --” and the farmer shot him.
Dead again
During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they are walking out, the husband cries out, “Watch out for the wall!”
The 45 difference
Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs. Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes
SUDOKU The rules to play Sudoku are quite simple. Fill in the blanks so that each row, each column, and each of the nine 3x3 grids contain one instance of each of the numbers 1 through 9.
This week’s solutions:
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September 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS 11
Neighborhood parks. Yours at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta.
BE OPEN
Many KB Home neighborhoods feature amazing amenities like parks, ball fields, playgrounds and more. At KB Home, we’re ready to build you a great new home AND a relaxing new lifestyle.
Ironwood at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta Homes from the mid $300s
Acacia at Mahogany Hills in Murrieta Homes from the mid $300s
• 2,628–4,506 sq. ft., 3–6 bedrooms., 2–6 baths • parks, baseball field, tot lots and more
• 2,343–2,894 sq. ft., 3–5 bedrooms, 2–4 baths • single-story homes
From I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4150
From I-215 or I-15, exit Murrieta Hot Springs Rd. heading east. Turn left on Winchester Rd., left on Max Gillis Blvd. and right on Prickly Pear Way to sales center. (951) 923-4057
Broker Cooperation Welcome. ©2014 KB Home (KBH). Plans, pricing, financing, terms, availability and specifications subject to change/prior sale without notice and may vary by neighborhood, lot location and home series. Buyer responsible for all taxes, insurance and other fees. Sq. footage is approximate. HOA applies. Photos may depict upgraded landscaping/options and may not represent lowest-priced homes. Photo does not depict racial preference. See sales representative for details. KB Home Sales–Southern California Inc. (CA Real Estate License 00242327). SOCAL-120969
12 September 15, 2014 THE MILITARY PRESS
www.MilitaryPress.com • editorsdesk@militarypress.com