Crushing It: Tichina Arnold on raising Alijah Kai

Written by TONI E. EMEHEL

Scores of women have jokingly said, “When I get to heaven, the first thing I’m going to do is find Eve and ask her WHHHYYYYY!” I won’t ask for a raise of hands, but if that phrase resonates with you … then you, too, are probably guilty of observing or participating in that sort of laughable banter. What many people miss when reflecting on Eve’s narrative in Genesis, chapter 3, is the blessing within the curse. However, when I met up with acclaimed actress Tichina Arnold, best known for starring roles on Martin, Happily Divorced, Everybody Hates Chris, and CBS’ latest series, The Neighborhood, it was evident that neither Tichina nor her daughter Alijah Kai misunderstood the power or the promise bestowed upon them as referenced in the Scriptures. This mother-daughter team is crushing it in every sense of the phrase!

You know the story: God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and gave them access to all things but the Tree of Knowledge. Eve was deceived and took guidance from the wrong voice. As a result, Eve and her deceiver were reprimanded by God. But God, being merciful, not only endowed Eve’s offspring with generational power to discern acts of deception, but also embedded them with the potential to stop anything that comes against His plan for their lives. This is where MB Magazine found significant connections between what happened over 20 centuries ago in the Garden of Eden and the 21st century narrative of Tichina Arnold raising Alijah Kai and crushing the head of anything that comes to derail God’s plan for their lives.

While many Christian parents fear social media as a necessary evil of today’s society, Tichina encourages her daughter that, when used properly, social media platforms such as Instagram are effective tools to share

visuals of what God is stirring inside of you.

What better way to see this lived out than by visiting @tichinaarnold on Instagram. Click on the video thumbnail of Tichina sitting with her back to the camera, facing a band during an apparent rehearsal. Put simply, Tichina Arnold is a force to be reckoned with! Multi-talented, multi-dimensional … this woman leads her daughter by example! In this recent video, you can see Tichina rocking out with a band that she recently reunited. As you see her operating in her gifts, Tichina conducts the sound with her head bobbing, fist pounding the air, and at times, clapping her hands in approval. Keep watching as the video progresses. The lead guitarist begins running soul-touching riffs while the drummer adds his beats, and you can see Tichina hop to her feet, lifting one foot off the floor in a kicking motion while spinning around on the other foot as if kicking down the wall of every obstacle that stood in the way of her completing the task. As clear as one’s eyes can see, Tichina was drenched with anticipation of sharing the fruit of her work to uplift and brighten someone’s day.

Following closely in her mother’s footsteps, @alijahkai can be seen in an Instagram video standing on a set of bleachers at a football stadium. Her mother can be heard in the background coaching while Alijah Kai holds a mic in her hand preparing to perform the national anthem. “O say can you see …” reverberates across the stadium as Alijah Kai serenades the crowd in a powerful acapella rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner.” When I say my spirit leaped with joy while viewing this video … believe me. My Spirit literally leaped with JOY! With every vibration that flowed from Alijah Kai’s mouth, I could feel the darkness lifting from the light carried on this young minstrel’s voice. I thought to myself, This girl’s voice is so powerful that, every time she sings, darkness breaks!

Observing Tichina and her daughter Alijah Kai

operating in their God-given talents will give you a multigenerational view of Genesis 3:15, the entry point when God endowed parents with the gift of peace concerning their children.

Deception is one of Satan’s most effective and dangerous devices. God, seeing the results of how Satan used deception to cause separation between God and mankind, embedded something in Eve’s offspring that Eve herself did not have; the knowledge that enemies exist in the world and the power to not only know the enemy, but to stand firmly against the enemy’s acts of deception. As descendants of Eve it is comforting for parents to know that our children are born with supernatural powers that neither Adam nor Eve possessed. However, finding the right key to unlock a child’s potential often proves difficult. When asked what the key was to unlocking Alijah Kia’s potential, Tichina cleverly replied, “I tricked her.”

TICHINA: “You [parents] got to learn tricks. I tricked Alijah Kai. I thought she was going to have more of an affinity to singing. So, when I realized that she was going to be in the arts, I started wrapping my brain around the arts and began laying a foundation to challenge her. I started getting her into certain repetitions and introducing her to experiences that would prepare her to do the thing that she is probably going to do the rest of her life. But Alijah does not have just one gift. She has a gift of dance. She has the gift of song. She also has the gift of intuitiveness. Alijah is very discerning. She is a lot like me, but different. Seeing her possess all these different attributes that she has never seen in me lets me know that what I am seeing is in her DNA.

“Ever since Alijah Kai was a little girl, I have always started our car rides with singing. I would say, Alijah, you want to sing? She would always respond, NO! I decided to just stop asking her. One day

I put on my iPod, started playing Alijah’s favorite songs, and started singing them. I looked in the rear-view mirror and she was singing too! So that’s how I tricked her and got her into singing.”

Time out. Let’s take a quick pause here. Can you see Genesis 3:15 playing out here? Tichina is trying to introduce Alijah Kai to her future, but Alijah Kai has been made to believe, in her young mind, that she does not want any part in that. Through her gift of intuitiveness, Tichina found a way to break down the walls of that “thing” that held Alijah Kai’s thoughts captive. Now this baby girl brings heaven to earth through her gift of song. It is truly amazing!

While Tichina credits the village for assisting her in raising Alijah Kai, MB Magazine took note of this attentive mother grooming her daughter to take on the future.

MB MAGAZINE: “What is it like working with your mom?”

ALIJAH KAI: “Oh, it’s hard. People be acting like it’s easy.” Alijah Kai bursts out with laughter while Tichina adorns a comical puzzled face. “Girl, you haven’t felt hard yet,” Tichina amusingly chimes in. “Oh, I know,” Alijah Kai acknowledges. “But so far … it’s a rocky road.”

We all shared in a moment of humor as Alijah Kia gave us words of hope for her future. “I won’t say it’s perfect, but I will say it’s great and I don’t regret anything. At the end of the day, I’m gaining knowledge.”

MB MAGAZINE: “What are you working on now?”

ALIJAH KAI: “I have always been into the triple threat thing. Singing, dancing, and acting are really my passions. It’s been my lifestyle ever since I was a little girl. I’ve been dancing with Debbie Allen since I was three years old, learning every genre of dance from hip hop and jazz to ballet. My mom and I have been singing since I was around seven years old, and I started

writing music when I was around 13 or 14 years old. “When I was younger, I did some small acting roles and voice-overs. However, now that I’m older, I’m getting more into acting and going deeper into the music industry. Those are my two real passions.”

MB MAGAZINE: “What excites you about the projects you are working on right now?”

ALIJAH KAI: “The process. Honestly, I feel like the learning process throughout it all is really inspiring and keeps me going. There is so much to learn and so much to know within this business and within the industry. So, when it comes to growth and especially when it comes to self-awareness, it’s [the process] helping me to better know myself.

“We just finished a project with the PEEQ app and I also have my own music publishing company,” she added. “You can follow me on Instagram @alijahkai, and I’m also starting a YouTube channel.”

MB MAGAZINE: “What are you believing God for as it relates to the impact of your work?”

ALIJAH KAI: “Faith. Hope. Longevity. Stability. Sanity. And strength. Anything can throw you off track. To be strong, I have to take whatever is being thrown at me and respond in a positive way. I can’t allow myself to respond by lashing out or burning a bridge.

“I really want to be that inspiration people look up to. I believe that’s where I’m headed, and I truly believe that’s what God can do.”

Time out! Pardon my excitement, but I get overjoyed when I see young people taking hold of the promises of God and finding their purpose! Alijah Kai knows what she was created to do. If you tap into what Alijah Kai expressed above, at the tender age of 18 years old, destiny awaits. More importantly, she believes in her assignment to inspire others through her gifts. Now that’s something worth taking a pause to celebrate!

MB MAGAZINE: “Tichina, how does it feel seeing the results of 18 years of growing this amazing flower sitting next to you?”

TICHINA:Rewarded. To see her and how she’s developing, whereshe is now, I just thank God. It feels good when you see

the fruits of what you prayed about … it feels good.”

With a smile strung upon her face, Tichina reflected on the work of mothering, “I was on the road to having my career go either way. I was always in that funny lane but had the goal of having longevity in my career. As I got older and started family … I always said to myself, I never want to do anything that I’m ashamed of. My gauge was simple: if my daughter can’t watch it then I won’t do it. For me, that was my way of accepting motherhood. “As a parent, you never know what to do, but you want positive things to come back from the seeds you have sown. I teach Alijah now that once you put it [content] out there, it’s out there. And anything you put out there, you want your child, your seed, and your family to be able to say, We love that. That was inspiring.”

Notably, Tichina Arnold has always been a beacon of light to the masses from her earliest days as Pam on the sitcom Martin, her role as the inspiring, no-nonsense mom Rochelle in the popular sitcom Everybody Hates Chris, to the electrifying personality and host of the iconic Soul Train Music Awards. For women of color in the United States and abroad, Tichina’s presence in television and print media represents “that” light at the end of the tunnel that says, it is possible to achieve success in a colorist society where racism is rampant. Tichina has broken the ceiling, and Alijah Kai is sticking close to her mother’s example.

Because Tichina entered the show business industry with standards for herself, she has become one of the most famous African American female images in South America. To the more than 91 million African-Brazilillian’s in Brazil, Tichina’s presence says, you can defy the odds and overcome the stereotypes of colorists as often associated with darker-skinned people of color. With an impact as far and vast as that, you don’t think this single mother has come up against challenges? Yet, she has been able to not only overcome the challenges, but also deliver a deadening blow to remove obstacles in order to celebrate the victory of success and significance that her life demonstrates today.

Tichina’s parents, grandparents, and all those who took part in raising her should be proud, as should the village that took part in helping raise Alijah Kai. The reward is the fulfillment of every parent, grandparent, auntie, uncle, cousin, godparent, neighbor, pastor, teacher, and church mother who takes an active role in the work of raising a child. Peering in on the lives of Tichina and Alijah Kai, one can’t help but see a legacy unfold as revealed in the Garden of Eden. These daughters of Eve are CRUSHING IT! Every role. Every script. Every song. Every challenge. Every opportunity. Tichina and Alijah Kai model the power that lies within all of us to live victoriously, knowing that God can be trusted to keep His promises from one generation to the next. Neither claim that the journey has been easy. However, whenever the enemy has nipped at their heels, both have delivered a deadly blow by apprehending success, being of positive influence, and inspiring others through their gifts with class and distinction. Alijah Kai on Instagram @alijahkai, PEEQ, and on Alijah Kia’s upcoming YouTube channel.

A MESSAGE FROM

ALIJAH KAI

It's okay to fail. It’s okay to fall, and it's okay to get scratches. At the end of the day, it’s your drive that keeps you going. It's your passion that keeps you uplifted and your passion that will keep you on the path you are meant to be on. Be who you know you are.

Throughout this lifetime of you being you, you are constantly learning who you are. Take what you are learning and apply it to yourself. Don't throw it away. Keep holding it. Hold onto it tight because that's the only thing you got for yourself.

At this point in time, there are so many influences that we as teenagers are watching and investing time in that can cause us to lose our own originality. We are starting to gain many personality traits from others that we have been watching, to the point that we are losing ourselves.

Take time for yourself. Take time to know yourself. Put your phone down. Meditate. Give yourself a break. Listen to some music. Listen to a beat. If you're an artist, listen to something that really speaks to you … without words. Everybody has their own language, even if it’s without speaking. Do what you have to do to find your voice.