Qui2Health

Here’s a relationship I would love to dive into with you: the relationship between Nai and me, mother and daughter. I don’t know if it’s your dream, but it sure is mine, to have an amazing relationship with my favorite girl!

Over time you find a flow. That’s after I’ve established the kind of foundation I wanted with her. I knew I didn’t just want to be her mom or parent … I also wanted to be her friend. I know that's not common in some households, but for me, it makes sense. It works.

Just like building any solid relationship, you want to make sure you develop an understanding of who the person truly is at the heart level. In my case, I loved teaching and with QUI watching Nai grow.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

As Nai got older, even as a child, I wanted us to be “cool,” so setting that tone was major for me. Discipline, structure, respect, relationship — a few principles we use in our home.

LET’S UNPACK

• Building our home with God as our foundation

• Our bonding time

• Healthy compromising

• Having a voice

• Education

BUILDING OUR HOME WITH GOD AS OUR FOUNDATION

It means anchored, grounded, solid! We may fall, butwith a solid foundation, we will withstand. Teaching herthat God is our Rock and Salvation — the Source —, aswell as how to pray, that her relationship with God is herfirst relationship, and how to simply be a good person.In society today, it’s easy to stray, get caught up in thethings of this world, succumb to peer pressure, etc. So it’sso important to teach her simple principles to live by athome.

OUR BONDING TIME

One of my favorite things to do with Nai is travel. We planoutfits, take cute pictures, try new foods, visit special/monumentalplaces, and explore. It’s our special time, creatingbeautiful memories.

HEALTHY COMPROMISE

As parents, we automatically compromise: our time, space,money, and energy. Today, as a single parent, I feel that asNai gets a little older, the only way this will work is if wecome to certain agreements. That means creating thesehealthy boundaries, also known as rules, like curfew, allowance/budget,or even agreeing upon what’s for dinner. Theyall teach us how to “meet in the middle.”

HAVING A VOICE

This correlates to “healthy compromising” as her voice,starting at home, deeply matters! To me, demanding orbeing really strict creates rebellion. Teaching her to expressher feelings, ideas, thoughts, and desires allows me to learnmore about her. Allowing her to speak up at home allowsher to express herself out in the world. We talk, agree todisagree, find common ground, and move accordingly.

EDUCATION

Education in our home is important. Nai is a smart younglady. Thankfully, she didn’t take after me in this department,or we’d be in trouble! I actually learn from her! I don’t haveto scold her about schoolwork. She’s pretty hard on herself… but enough about being great at what she does. If anything,I try to lighten her load by letting her know she doesn’t have to be perfect. I simply encourage her to do the bestshe can.

A mother and daughter relationship is like having a “broke bestfriend,” lol. We love, teach one another, keep each other company,and grow together. Not every relationship will be the same,not every season of the relationship will be the same, but it shallremain! A solid foundation with God, healthy compromise,having a voice, and a strong bond will keep it all together. Withlove and light together, we’re stronger.

Here’s a quick, partner, beginner-friendly total body circuit that Nai and I often complete:

Materials You’ll Need: jump rope, two pairs of 10 lb dumbbells, and mat or towel.

Complete three to four rounds, doing each exercise with 12 to 15 reps, along with 50 jump ropes before each round:

• Sumo squats

• Hand release push-up

• Toe touch

• Star jumps

Hopefully you might find that some of the ideas I’ve shared withyou today will apply to relationships not only with your daughters,but with a little tweaking, also with your sons and possiblyeven with your friends and others.

All in all, to develop a healthy support system, seek God first,and ask Him to help you find that person or people who believein you, just as much as you believe in them! He won’t let youdown.

May you love and feel loved, knowing that God loves you morethan you can ever imagine.