Misc 02.06.20

The Miscellany News miscellanynews.org

February 6, 2020

Vassar College’s student newspaper of record since 1866 Volume 153 | Issue 2

Shiva to reopen this week Lucy Brewster

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Sherry Liao/The Miscellany News.

Guest Reporter

fter a yearlong hibernation, the Shiva Theater is set to reopen this week, Feb. 7, heralding another season of communal concerts and performances. The student-run event space, which closed for maintenance repairs in December 2018, now features technological upgrades that will make the theater easier for students to use. The Shiva will host a party this Friday, Feb. 7 from 5 to 7 p.m. to celebrate, with performances from student groups and catering from Twisted Soul.

Until 1955, what is now the Susan Stein Shiva Theater was a coal bunker on campus that served to provide energy for the College.

After Vassar outsourced its coal, the Shiva remained vacant for almost 40 years. Only around 20 years ago, in 1998, did the space transform to resemble the Shiva we know today, named after Drama Department alum Susan Stein Shiva ’57.

What sets the Shiva apart from Vassar’s other event spaces is that it is completely operated by students. Every aspect of a show, from acting, to directing, See Shiva on page 4

Modfest builds on One year in, Korean courses take root historical foundations Janet Song

Assistant Features Editor

Annabelle Wang Guest Reporter

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ack in 2003, Adene “Dee” Wilson ’69 and her husband Professor of Music Richard Wilson co-founded a small celebration of 20th-century music. Over the years, this small music festival

Inside this issue

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evolved into a quintessential highlight of Vassar’s art scene: Modfest.

Modfest is Vassar’s annual exploration of the arts of the 20th and 21st centuries. This year, the See Modfest on page 3

HUMOR

Arts Editor

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OPINIONS

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he Sunday before last, Associate Professor and Chair of Drama Shona Tucker took her students to see “To Kill a Mockingbird” on Broadway. This Saturday, Feb. 1, Celia Keenan-Bolger, who played Scout in the original run, brought a bit of TKAM to Vassar via lecture at the Martel Theater.

Tucker introduced Keenan-Bolger to the stage in her operatic, winding way. In her encomium,

See Language on page 8

she noted that she stood between two worlds: one where she is teacher, and one where she is pupil. Despite finding a mentor of sorts in the lecturer, Tucker assured us that Keenan-Bolger is no “wizened old Yoda,” but is in fact “spritelike.”

It is thanks to Professor Tucker, who accompanied her in the original Broadway cast, that Keenan-Bolger delivered the Capotorto-Mulas Family Lecture, one of the first events to kick off See LECTURE on page 5

Keenan-Bolger talks life on, off the stage. Courtesy of Karl Rabe.

First-year propels v-ball team to national ranking Jackie Molloy, Alessandra Fable

Slow Bern: A columnist’s gradual but gratifying path to Sanders.

Assistant Sports Editor, Columnist

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NEWS

Since you’ve surely read Vassar’s 35-page fiscal report, no need to read this summary.

shley T. Kim ’20 remembers Vassar College before the Korean Wave, or Hallyu (한류): the escalating global popularity of South Korean culture, from K-beauty products to Korean dramas and Korean pop music.

“There wasn’t anything in terms of Korean orgs or cultural aware-

courses instead of self-instructional programs.

Vassar does have an Asian Studies program, but no program devoted to Korea specifically. However, Professor of Sociology Seungsook Moon, the only faculty member who specializes in South Korea in the Asian

Original ‘TKAM’ Scout talks creative careers Taylor Stewart

Punxatawney who? Every day is Groundhog Day in Womp Womp World.

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ness,” she recalled. KSA hadn’t been extremely active, and KoDC didn’t exist. But as the wave swept over the United States, at Vassar it became a tsunami: Clubs like the Korean Dance Crew (KoDC) and Korean Student Alliance (KSA) exploded in popularity. So too have the Korean language classes, which after a long struggle have become traditional Vassar

Above, Gavin van Beveren.

Jackie Molloy/The Miscellany News.

hen first-year volleyball player Gavin van Beveren was announced Sports Imports/ AVCA National Player of the Week, he wasn’t even the first to hear about it. He relayed, “I was at the Retreat when someone came up to me and said, ‘Congrats on player of the week.’ I said thank you, but I thought it was just Rookie of the Week. And then she goes, ‘Yeah, National Player of the Week is a super big deal.’” Van Beveren assured her that he only won Rookie of the Week for the United Volleyball Conference, but she swore that the award was national. “And, then I checked my phone,” said van Beveren.

Such a display of good-natured modesty encapsulates van Bev-

eren. Teammates have commented on his infectious energy, a spirit he was kind enough to bring to our interview. Via email, senior captain Kevin Ros described van Beveren as “energetic, inspiring, and humble,” and said that although van Beveren is just a firstyear, it feels like they have been playing for years. Head Coach Richard Gary further described him as “joyous, kind, and competitive.” It is this attitude, not to mention his success come game time, that has led to van Beveren’s early impact on Vassar and beyond —both on and off the court.

Van Beveren is from Alpharetta, Georgia, and descends from a long line of gifted athletes.

His father played basketball at Southern Methodist University.

His mother and aunt played vol-

leyball at Clemson. He has two siblings: a twin brother, Grant, who plays basketball at Wake Forest, and a sister named Colby, who, although not an athletic phenom, van Beveren insisted on mentioning.

Van Beveren’s parents were very integrated into the twins’ athletic lives growing up. Van Beveren’s mom was his club and high school volleyball coach, whereas his dad devoted himself to his brother’s basketball career. “My dad was my brother’s mentor, and my mom and my aunt were my mentors. It was a very divided household at some points,” van Beveren explained with a laugh. Because his mom often coached him growing up, his first time stepping onto KenSee Volleyball on page 14

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February 6, 2020

THE MISCELLANY NEWS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR SENIOR EDITORS

Jessica Moss

Frankie Knuckles Duncan Aronson Lucy Leonard Isabel Braham CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Leah Cates Sasha Gopalakrishnan Mack Liederman Tiana Headley Aena Khan Olivia Watson Gillian Redstone ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITORS Janet Song Jonas Trostle OPINIONS EDITOR Abram Gregory ASSISTANT OPINIONS EDITOR Taylor Stewart ARTS EDITOR Francisco Andrade HUMOR EDITOR Jonah Frere-Holmes SPORTS EDITORS Dean Kopitsky Jackie Molloy ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Natalie Bober SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR Yvette Hu PHOTO EDITOR Grace Rousell ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR Mohtad Allawalla ASSISTANT DESIGN EDITORS Rose Parker Lilly Tipton Jacqueline Gill ASSISTANT COPY EDITORS Phoebe Jacoby Caitlin Patterson VIDEO PRODUCTION MANAGER Alexis Cerritos Alex Barnard AUDIO EDITOR Robert Pinataro BUSINESS MANAGER NEWS EDITORS

“Just a few days ago, I returned from a weeklong trip to the Patagonia (I know, I know),” wrote Mira Michels-Gualtieri ’21 on the eve of her fifth month in Chile. Michels-Gualtieri climbed Cerro Castillo mountain, which she described as the hardest hike of her life: “14 km round trip, of which five of those kilometers were up the side of a steep mountain with a path of slippery stones and snow patches!” To read more about Michels-Gualtieri’s adventures abroad, visit farandaway.miscellanynews.com.

REPORTERS

COLUMNISTS

PHOTOGRAPHER GRAPHIC DESIGNER COPY STAFF

CROSSWORD

Delila Ames Carissa Clough Olivia Diallo Rayan El Amine Meghan Hayfield Sara Lawler Lindsay Craig Rohan Dutta Ivanna Guerra Xin Rui Ong Alice Woo Sherry Liao Juliette Pope Jason Han Amanda Herring Nina Ajemian Tiffany Trumble Frank

CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.

The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. Staff editorials are the only articles that reflect the opinion of a two-thirds majority of the Editorial Board.

Courtesy of Ciara Murray-Jordan.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

February 6, 2020

NEWS

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In 2019, NY Democrats passed 935 bills. In 2020, expect more.

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Sara Lawler Reporter

he 2018 midterm elections flipped the New York State Senate from Republican to Democratic for the first time since 2008. Democrats maintained control of the state Assembly, as they have consistently since 1992. Democratic Governor Andrew Cuomo won his 2018 re-election, making New York, with its state Senate, Assembly and gubernatorial office all controlled by Democrats, one of 14 “Democratic trifecta” states in the United States. These widespread victories granted New York Democrats unique ease with which to enact legislation in 2019.

Representatives certainly capitalized on the opportunity: 935 bills passed in the Assembly and Senate, the most in a single legislative term in a decade.

Here is a rundown of a few important bills signed into law in 2019, and some more to look out for as the 2020 legislative session begins.

Gun Laws The state legislature passed multiple gun control reform bills in New York.

Among these is a law requiring a 30-day waiting period for any individual not immediately approved by the federal background check system when purchasing a gun. When an individual attempts to purchase a weapon, the federal background check instantly assigns them a status of either “proceed,” “deny” or “delayed.”

The new law, which went into effect last March, will apply to those who receive the “delayed” result. The previous law required only a three day waiting period for “delayed” purchasers, making it possi-

ble for a gun to be sold before a full background check had been completed.

Another new law banned bump stocks—an attachment that can be put on a semi-automatic rifle to increase the firing speed. Cuomo hopes to continue to strengthen the state’s gun control laws in 2020 by barring those who have committed a serious crime outside of New York from obtaining a New York gun license (USA Today, “Gun control in New York: these new measures just became law.”

07.30.2019).

Abortion The Reproductive Health Act was signed into law in January 2019. Democrats have long pushed to pass the act, but it was blocked by Senate Republicans until the 2018 midterms flipped the state Senate. Prior to the act, the previous law dating back to 1970 considered late-term abortions (after 24 weeks) homicide. The Act removed abortion from the penal code and legalized late-term abortions in the case of fetal unviability or a threat to the mother’s life. Additionally, the act allows all health-care practitioners to perform abortions, while the previous law allowed only physicians to perform abortions. This change will make abortions more easily accessible throughout the state (USA Today, “Abortion laws in New York: How they changed with the Reproductive Health Act,” 01.22.2019).

Voting Reforms In 2019, New York became one of 37 states that allows early voting. New York voters may now vote up to nine days prior to the Sunday before Election Day. The law aims to increase voter participation

by giving those who cannot make it to the voting booths on Election Day an opportunity to vote. This took effect for the first time in the November 2019 elections.

A bill closing loopholes in campaign finance practices was also passed. Previously, big donors could avoid campaign finance laws by setting up multiple limited liability companies (LLCs) and donating from each one. The new law will require LLCs to disclose their ownership before donations are made, and will limit donations to $5,000, the donation limit for corporations.

Legislation allowing residents to vote by mail and register to vote at polling stations passed as well. These two changes will not be implemented until 2021 at the earliest, as they require amendments to the New York State Constitution. Cuomo proposed a law making Election Day a state holiday, but it did not receive enough votes to pass.

A new law consolidates the two New York primaries into one date. Previously, New York state primaries and federal primaries fell on different dates, forcing voters to turn out at the polls twice. This adjustment will save voters time and the state $25 million. It will also allow 16and 17-year-olds to register to vote prior to turning 18. The goal of this law is to increase young voter participation, as young voters will already be in the system when they become eligible to vote.

In 2020, Cuomo hopes to enact a law requiring an automatic recount in all state elections where the margin is less than 0.2 percent of all votes cast (USA Today, “Voting in New York: Five major changes are

coming soon,” 01.11.2019).

Marijuana Cuomo and the state legislature were successful in decriminalizing marijuana. The previous law allowed those in possession of marijuana to be fined and charged with a misdemeanor as soon as it was burned or visible in public. Under the new law, those in possession of any amount of marijuana under an ounce will be fined, with a maximum of $50.

Additionally, people with low-level misdemeanor marijuana convictions will have them expunged from their records.

Cuomo failed to pass a bill through the Senate legalizing marijuana completely in 2019, but legalization remains on the governor’s agenda for 2020 (USA Today, “Why legalizing marijuana in New York failed, but decriminalizing it passed,” 6.21.2019).

DREAM Act Dreamers, or undocumented immigrants who come to the United States as children, are now eligible for New York tuition aid programs, provided they attend high school in New York. Democratic legislators were previously unable to pass this New York State Dream Act in the majority-Republican senate.

Republican lawmakers criticized the Act as “unfair,” citing the many U.S. citizens who struggle to pay college tuition.

All 40 Democrats in the state Senate voted to pass the bill, while all 20 Republican senators who were present voted against it. Three Republican senators were absent (USA Today, “New York to make college tuition aid available to DREAMers,” 1.23.2019).

Modfest innovates, forging ahead by looking to the past Continued from Modfest on page 1 beloved tradition celebrates its 18th season with a wide variety of artistic activities— live musical and dance performances, film screenings and guest lectures among them.

They are all free of charge and open to the public unless otherwise noted.

The festival kicked off on Jan. 31 with a euphonious showcase of Vassar’s choral groups and will conclude on Feb. 9 with a performance from the acclaimed Hudson Valley Philharmonic. This year’s theme is “reflect to project,” defined as the need to look backward in order to move forward.

According to Interdisciplinary Arts Coordinator and Modfest co-director Tom Pacio, “reflect to project” was inspired by the temporal themes and ideas expressed by the current visual art exhibitions on campus, such as the Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center’s “Louise Bourgeois: Ode to Forgetting” and the Palmer Gallery’s “Self-taught and Outsider Art from a Private ‘Teaching Col-

lection.’”

Pacio stated, “There was all this reflection happening [with the exhibits], but it still kind of feels like the future.” Which, to him, begs the question, “Why do we look back? And if it’s not to look forward, then…I don’t know.”

Pacio and Associate Professor of Music Howlett assumed the role of Modfest co-directors four years ago, after Dee and Richard Wilson retired. Since then, Pacio and Howlett have brought the festival into the future by building upon its co-founders’ foundations.

At its core, Modfest is interdisciplinary, a crossover between the music, arts and humanities departments at Vassar. Their collaboration keeps the program vibrant in execution and diverse in content every year.

As Pacio explained, “The inventory of our distinct [interdisciplinary] relationships has really helped identify opportunities that, I think, might not have otherwise been

identified.” For instance, the lecture titled “Reflect: An Artist’s Life, Onstage and Off,” which was held on Saturday, Feb. 1, would not have been possible without the initiative of the Drama Department. Had the department not coordinated with Howlett and Pacio, Tony Award-winner Celia Keenan-Bolger’s lecture would not have existed as a part of Modfest.

Pacio and Howlett continue to push boundaries. This year, for the first time, Modfest is collaborating with the Cognitive Science Department. There will be an open rehearsal, lecture and performance from Jeff Snyder, the founder and lead designer of Snyderphonics, a company that designs and builds unusual electronic musical instruments.

Though innovation continues, reflecting on the past helps Pacio and Howlett determine what Modfest traditions should remain in place. As Pacio puts it, “With any tradition, knowing what walls shouldn’t be

moved and then knowing…where you can renovate, I think, is important in pushing those boundaries.”

No matter how it evolves, maintaining the essence of Modfest is what brings people back every year. Avid Modfest attendee and Adjunct Artist in Music Jeannie Chenette reflected on why she returns to perform and attends the festival every year: “What brings me back is the vitality of the festival, and the breadth and the integrity of all the concerts.”

She continued, “There are some pieces that are played a lot, what we call standard repertoire, and then there are other things you hear less usually…and in Modfest we tend to hear quite a number of things that we just don’t get to hear very often in our lifetime.”

Modfest continues to captivate audiences by connecting artistic innovation and tradition, ultimately extending beyond Vassar’s campus to bring art to both students and community members alike.

Above, Vassar Choral Ensemble performs as part of the 18th iteration of Modfest, a celebration of contemporary arts. Courtesy of Diana Liu. MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

NEWS

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February 6, 2020

Reflecting and projecting Vassar finances: 2020 fiscal preview Noah Siderhurst Guest Reporter

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s June 30, the end of the 2020 fiscal year, edges nearer, students can anticipate a status report on the College’s finances. Each year, Vassar releases its financial statements, which include measures of its assets, liabilities, revenues and expenses. There’s a lot to sift through in those reports, but here are a few of the most important things to watch as we head into next school year.

Endowment These are the funds that the College invests to support the institution. Most of these funds come from gifts, but some of the returns generated by the endowment itself are reinvested. As of June 30, 2019, Vassar’s total endowment totaled $1.117 billion. That’s relatively large compared to a number of other colleges; Vassar easily ranks in the top 100 U.S. colleges by endowment (National Association of College and University Business Officers, “Public NTSE Tables,” 02.04.2020). Vassar relies on its endowment as a continuing, relatively stable source of revenue. When it falls by too much, such as in 2016 when it was down over $54 million, the institution’s financial security is placed in jeopardy. The

2016 endowment loss generated fears that the institution might cut financial aid, possibly even eliminating the needblind admissions policy (The Miscellany News, “Bradley talks public health, budget,” 02.01.2017). Luckily, the endowment fared better in 2017, easing worries.

The endowment has grown steadily for several years since, posting a 3.2 percent increase from 2018-19. However, endowment gifts received in 2018 (a key source of endowment growth) were more than double those received in 2019. The return on the endowment (how much the College’s investments earned) was also down by almost $13 million. Regardless of these yearly fluctuations, Vassar’s withdrawals from the endowment are about the same every year. In 2019, the College withdrew $54.7 million, compared to $53.4 million in 2018.

Oil Investments As concerns about climate change continue to increase, much attention has fallen on Vassar’s investments in oil and other fossil fuels. Anyone who walks past the College Center will see a sign demanding the College divest. However, the Board of Trustees Investor Responsibility Committee voted unanimous-

ly against divestment in 2018 (Vassar, “Op-ed: Lessons Learned from Vassar’s Divestment Decision,” 03.06.2018). According to 2019 financial statements, “[O]il and gas partnerships…are intended to provide growth, income, and diversification benefits.” Vassar currently has $71 million invested in “real estate, oil, and gas partnerships.” What proportion of that is invested in fossil fuels (as opposed to real estate) is not publicly available. However, this class of investments has fallen by $7.4 million since 2018.

Financial Aid Equality of access is a core value of the College. Vassar consistently ranks in the top 10 colleges in the country in terms of financial aid and accessibility (as per the New York Times and Princeton Review) (The Miscellany News, “VC still prioritizes aid after decline in funds,” 02.07.2017). In 2019, aid totaled $69.3 million, with over 60 percent of students receiving aid. Revenue from tuition, room and board was $106.3 million, making it an important source of revenue for Vassar. That’s up $10.5 million compared to 2018. The College also awarded $1.3 million less in aid in 2019 compared to 2018.

Construction Projects Vassar has several new construction projects planned. A hotel and conference center and new admissions house are two examples (Poughkeepsie Journal, “Vassar College’s plan for hotel, institute faces zoning hurdles, mixed public opinion,” 01.10.2020). The College has also committed to go carbon neutral by 2030. These projects are proving costly: $4.6 million was allocated for campus construction in 2020. This number is likely to increase as construction gets underway.

Fun Facts Ever wondered what Vassar’s library books are worth? The answer is $61.5 million. Artwork and collectibles are worth another $62.2 million. Other fun facts: The endowment consists of about 1,000 individual funds and Vassar’s financial statements are 35 pages long.

The question remains as to how spending will transform as the College commits to various campus projects and continues to grow its endowment. These questions will be answered once the 2020 report is released this fall. Stay tuned.

Following renovation, student-run theater resumes operations Continued from Shiva on page 1 to lighting and sound design is executed by students, without faculty or administrative supervision. The Shiva is independent of Vassar’s Drama Department, which allows for student experimentation that other theater experiences at Vassar may lack.

“A renewed student theater space won’t really change anything for the Drama Department because they can’t use the Shiva,” explained Amandar Montgomery ’22. “It’s great that we have a dedicated space just for student theater.”

For students, the Shiva provides an opportunity to push creative boundaries and share art with other students without any oversight. “Having a student-run theater on campus gives students the freedom to create whatever they want … A space like the Shiva is vital for student theater and student performances on campus,” said drama major Sarah Berry Pierce ’22. Manager of the

Shiva Alison Russell ’20 commented, “Our campus is lucky to have a space like the Shiva, as few colleges still have a student run theater that has full seasons.” The Shiva has two main seasons, fall and spring, and run about three to six full length productions each season.

Back in 2018, the theater hosted some sort of performance or event nearly every weekend. Full length shows like “Into the Woods,” “Doctor Faustus” and “The Wild Party” have all graced the Shiva. Student organizations including Future Waitstaff of America, Vassar College Soundsystem and The Woodshed Theatre Ensemble all used the Shiva regularly before its closing.

These activities had to find new locations when the Shiva closed its doors for maintenance. New York Stage and Film, a nonprofit theater company, was using the space in the summer of 2018, and contacted the College about necessary electrical repairs.

Some Vassar students are under the impression that the theater’s closing was related to the last full length production held in the Shiva, “The Wild Party,” which was performed by Future Waitstaff of America in November 2018. The show’s production hit a few road bumps before opening night, including crew members quitting and cast members sustaining injuries. “With a lot of the production team gone, members of the cast took on production roles themselves and joined together to build the set. Towards the opening of the show, there were concerns about how water on stage could be a safety concern,” explained Jojo Summersett ’22, who played the role of Nadine in “The Wild Party.” While outdated equipment exacerbated difficulties in pulling the show together, the temporary closing of the theater was solely due to maintenance concerns that the New York Film and Stage Company raised, according to Russell, and were not

Sherry Liao/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

related directly to the outcome and struggles of Vassar’s “The Wild Party” iteration.

As students will soon see, the renovations will include both electrical and structural changes, including a new state-of-the-art lighting system and new trusses for hanging lights. The space will also include a lighting rep plot, which means that organizations will have access to a pre-hung standard lighting plot, saving students the effort of hanging lights for each performance.

Russell explained that these renovations will make the Shiva easier to navigate: “We hope that the new system will allow [event hosts] in the space to spend more time on design and exploration, as opposed to being bogged down with the time-consuming process of trial and error lighting. We are also excited about the Shiva becoming a home for more than just student theater; we hope that it can house all kinds of events on campus, from speakers, to art installations, to concerts.”

The Shiva is coming back swinging with Burlesque and Barefoot Monkeys set to perform this spring. The Shiva will also be the venue for a music festival on Feb. 29.

While the full length shows have not been announced yet, the Shiva usually hosts about three to six per season. “We expect that in the coming years we will host comedy shows, more full length performances, and hopefully some new organizations that have yet to experience the Shiva,” said Russell.

When students arrive at the Shiva opening this Friday, the space will once again feature art and excitement, with performances from Woodshed, Vassar Shakers, Measure for Measure, the Devils and Barefoot Monkeys. Pierce’s excitement was palpable: “I know I am thrilled at the Shiva’s reopening, and I am really excited to be able to hopefully produce art in an improved space.”

February 6, 2020

ARTS

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Modfest concert marries art music, current and canonical Emma Bauchner Guest Reporter

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odfest, Vassar’s annual celebration of the arts of the 20th and 21st centuries, continued on Sunday, Feb. 2 with an eclectic concert that included electric guitars, Renaissance polyphony and the world’s tiniest violin. The Honorary Adene and Richard Wilson Concert honors Vassar emeritus and composer Richard Wilson and his wife Adene, the founders of the festival. The first half of the concert featured members of Vassar’s music faculty, while guest vocal chamber ensemble New York Polyphony performed in the second half.

Composer Brad Balliett introduced his piece, “Sonatas and Disasters,” which he performed with Adjunct Artist in Music Anna Elashvili. He explained that the piece, a duet for bassoon and violin, consisted of four sonatas followed by “10 minutes of disaster.” The former had several quirks of their own: In the first sonata, the violin sustained a low-pitched drone while the bassoon played a melody in its high register, reversing the instruments’ traditional roles.

In another, the violin captured the sound of a fluttering bird while employing a string technique that distorted the notes. But the 10 minutes of disaster was another animal entirely. After a section of banjo-like playing, Elashvili seemed to run out of room on the fingerboard and tossed her instrument aside. She then ran over to an open suitcase and proceeded to pull out baby clothes, considering each article before retrieving a much smaller violin which she immedi-

ately began to play. Later, she repeated this whole sequence and pulled out an even tinier violin, while Balliett did away with his own instrument, placing numerous reeds in his mouth. These theatrics were entertaining and effective, further engaging the audience with Balliett’s idiosyncratic music.

The next piece on the program, “Music for Solo Viola,” was written by Wilson himself and performed by Adjunct Artist in Music and violist Danielle Farina. The piece’s five movements—March, Beguilement, Jittering, Lament and Recovery— seemed to trace a dynamic journey. Despite being a solo piece, several sections created the illusion of multiple voices, sometimes imitating one another in near-fugue, and at other times see-sawing back and forth, engaging in a call-and-response exercise. Beguilement’s wandering tonal center evoked dizziness and confusion, while Jittering’s quickly-paced pizzicatos similarly captured its name. The final movement, Recovery, was not quite optimistic, but carried a sense of strength and determination through increasing movement and rhythm.

The final piece of the first half, Steve Reich’s “2x5,” transported the audience to an entirely different realm. Guitarist and Vassar Adjunct Artist Trevor Babb explained that the ensemble would be playing against a pre-recorded track of themselves; once they began playing, the recording was indistinguishable from the live performance, creating an immersive wash of sound that seemed to fill the space entirely. Reich’s dis-

“A sonically maximalist take on minimalism, the piece was grounded in repetitive rhythms that hypnotized the listener.” tinctive minimalism was instantly recognizable, but the instrumentation—two electric guitars, one electric bass, a piano (Adjunct Artist in Music Marija Ilic) and percussion (Adjunct Artist in Music Frank Cassara)—suggested something far more rock-oriented. Taken out of context, the performance could have been mistaken for an extended, improvised jam session.

A sonically maximalist take on minimalism, the piece was grounded in repetitive rhythms that hypnotized the listener, and perhaps the performers as well. Reich’s music has long influenced rock musicians; here, Reich, who does not usually write for rock instruments, seemed to be paying an

homage of his own to genre.

The great variety of 20th- and 21st-century music showcased in the program’s first half was complemented by the program’s second half, in which the all-male vocal quartet New York Polyphony took the audience back a few centuries.

After opening with Anton Bruckner’s “Inveni David,” the singers presented a program featuring 16th-century Spanish and Portuguese composers who are often overlooked in concert programming, including Francisco de Peñalosa, Pedro de Escobar, Francisco Guerrero and Juan Gutierrez de Padilla. Despite the ensemble’s small size, their acapella vocals filled the hall. The group’s expertise in Renaissance polyphony was more than apparent as they dazzled the audience with shimmering chords. They closed their set with contemporary composer Ivan Moody’s “Canticum Canticorum,” a stunning work that blended Renaissance sensibilities with more modern explorations. An encore immediately followed, in which the group was joined by the Vassar choirs for a performance of Johann Michael Bach’s “Halt, was du hast.”

Modfest is known as an exploration of the arts of the 20th and 21st century, but the festival’s 2020 theme adds another angle: “reflect to project.” The concert’s program executed this concept beautifully, exposing audiences to modern art music in conjunction with much older sonic movements.

The finale, Moody’s “Canticum Canticorum,” reminded listeners of the symbiosis of old and new sounds.

The artist’s path: musicals, politics, motherhood in four acts Continued from LECTURE on page 1 Modfest 2020.

Next to me was a couple who had seen Keenan-Bolger in “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” back in 2005.

They had brought the Playbill Broadway Yearbook and showed me her picture as Olive Ostrovsky: brown hair, meek smile, even more youthful.

She greeted the crowd with the charm I expected from someone who has stood on stages ever since her youth. She listed her notable accomplishments—Tony nominations, an actual Tony (for her performance in TKAM), several Broadway jobs, being photographed by Annie Leibovitz for Vogue, meeting Michelle Obama. Then she told us about the time she had a panic attack during a TKAM performance in August.

She had cried before the show, for some reason, and barely made it through the performance without passing out. When Tucker approached her suggesting she lecture at Vassar, she questioned her competency. But self-doubt was not a deterrent; in fact, it became a theme of the lecture, which she delivered in four stories (or acts). In an email correspondence, Keenan-Bolger explained, “I have memories from college of guest speakers coming to talk to us and it always felt like there was a lot of ‘never do this’ or ‘you have to do that’ in order to be successful…but ultimately the life of a theater artist in New York City is completely different for everyone.” A creative career path is not clear, she affirmed, and that path is homespun, and this is both exhilarating and infuriating.

Her first story involved her time in the well-received musical “The Light in the Piazza.” She starred in the original cast as Clara Johnson. Keenan-Bolger said she felt like “hot shit.” The musical was to go to Broadway, and the young actress was delighted.

Before the cast went to New York, however,

she was told on a drive with director Bartlett Sher that she would not be going. She felt a deep embarrassment more than anything, but she persisted and auditioned for “Spelling Bee,” making a mantra out of advice she received after the initial “failure”: “The key to success is the graceful execution of Plan B.” She received a Tony nomination for “Spelling Bee” (queue act two). At the awards show, she saw “The Light in the Piazza” cast in costume, in her costume. She wondered why she wasn’t having a better time at the Tony’s. What to make of a life when so many things don’t go your way?

The artist’s path is not only a mix of embarrassment and elation, but also of several careers. As she started working on “Les Misérables,” her voice got so tired she contemplated changing her profession. In 2008, she became a field organizer for the Barack Obama campaign in Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania (act three). “I had no experience or understanding of what I was signing up for, but once I arrived, I felt a sort of ease with the unknown,” Keenan-Bolger commented, invoking her dramatic career. “Every rehearsal process [in theater] requires vulnerability and a willingness to fail…I‘ve also realized that a part of what makes a great movement is the ability to share and tell stories because ultimately that’s what people respond to and are activated by.”

According to Keenan-Bolger, the political and performative are inextricably tied. Adina Ornstein-Luks ’22 asked after the lecture, “How do you bridge the world between the stage and U.S. politics and global politics?”

The actress responded that doing TKAM inspired her to reengage politically. “Maybe service and acting are the same,” she mused.

Theater and the arts facilitate societal healing, the dissemination of stories and a feeling of togetherness in the face of political lethargy or anguish. Political action, like the

actress’ preference for Plymouth Meeting over Broadway, is a tool for storymaking: When working for the Obama campaign, she encouraged volunteers to relay their own stories to the townspeople they canvassed. Moreover, the experience presented her the scary, ever-inspiring prospect of failure—a guarantee in both politics and theater.

The fourth act was about motherhood, yet another high-pressure endeavor.

Keenan-Bolger gave birth to her first child a few years ago. She admitted that she doesn’t love every part of being a mom, and, although this caused her enormous guilt at first, she has come to realize she loves her son and her career(s). The actress had an expressive, confessional, delightfully chatty air that cemented my faith in her words: It’s okay not to have a good time. Punishing yourself through comparison leads to exhaustion. Being an artist is terrible and exhausting, and wonderful.

These lessons resonated with a Vassar au-

dience: young, creative, overcommitting.

At Vassar, Tucker teaches Experimental Theater, surely populated by such students.

An aim of the course is performing critically, which she defines as bringing multiple perspectives, including your own, to a role.

“You’ve looked at the performance from many angles, not just as the performer, but as the cinematographer or scenographer,” Tucker shared. “And then, who are some of the masters of this particular character?

And what do they bring to the character?

What do I bring to the character? What do I have for free? We work with saying, ‘This is what you have.’ [Your] Juliet or Romeo would be very different than [mine].”

Keenan-Bolger also mentioned that she draws upon her experiences for her performances. These are far more than past roles or the research she did for them; they include death, birth, rejection, elation, the tumult of life. In theater, art and activism, we share these stories.

Above, Celia Keenan-Bolger as Scout. Caitlin McNaney via Vassar News and Events.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

ARTS

Page 6

February 6, 2020

‘Little Women’ rouses revelations about women-made art Nina Ajemian Copy Staffer

G

rowing up with an English teacher for a mother meant growing up with books.

It meant that my parents read to me every night before I fell asleep. It meant that when I could read on my own, my mom recommended books that she loved when she was my age. It means now that I’m older, we talk about books we’ve both read and love, some of which I have recommended to her.

It means that when I told her I was writing an article about the new “Little Women” movie, she mailed me a hardcover copy of the novel.

I first read Louisa May Alcott’s “Little Women” when I was in fifth grade, and the story has stuck with me ever since. I remember wanting to be part of the March sisterhood, loving Laurie and desperately wanting Jo and Laurie to end up together at first. I remember liking Amy, despite her infamous reputation, and the fact that she and Laurie found their happy ending, even if it wasn’t what I had originally wanted.

I remember admiring each girl’s individual spark. I remember how real and raw and genuine the story felt. Like for many other women before me, “Little Women” is something of a sacred text—a testimony to the strength and depth in the characters

of women that had been overlooked for so long.

So, I was very excited for the 2019 adaptation of “Little Women,” directed by Greta Gerwig and brought to life by an extraordinary cast: Saoirse Ronan as Jo, Florence Pugh as Amy, Emma Watson as Meg, Laura Dern as Marmee, Timothée Chalamet as Laurie and (Vassar alum) Meryl Streep as Aunt March.

On a chilly winter afternoon, my mom and I scurried off to the movie theater to watch the highly anticipated film. Immediately, I noticed that the audience was mostly female, with mothers, daughters and elderly women filling the seats. It turns out that this was not uncommon. According to Forbes, “[A third] of the opening weekend audience for “Little Women” was male” (Forbes, “Box Office: ‘Little Women’ Doesn’t Need Male Moviegoers To Be A Hit,” 01.06.2020). Forbes goes on to argue that the presence of male audience members is not necessarily important for the financial success of the film, and I agree. Look at the numbers: The movie earned $60 million at the box office (Forbes, “Box Office: ‘Little Women’ Doesn’t Need Male Moviegoers To Be A Hit,” 01.06.2020). However, the ramifications of this fact run much deeper than box office performances. Why are movies gendered? Why is a movie about women a “female” movie? Why aren’t more men watching “Little Women”?

After watching the film, I scoured YouTube for any and every “Little Women” interview, talk show appearance and behindthe-scenes preview. I was infatuated with the cast and wanted to stay immersed in Gerwig’s curated, colorful and cozy world

for as long as possible. While watching various cast members appear on talk shows, I noticed a running theme: The (male) hosts emphasized the story’s appeal to female audiences. In an interview with Pugh, Stephen Colbert said, “A lot of women that I know who read the book—and pretty much all the women I grew up with read the book—they relate to Jo…” (YouTube, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, “Florence Pugh Got To See Another Side Of Her ‘Little Women’ Co-Star Meryl Streep,” 12.11.2019).

Similarly, when Ronan was on his show, Colbert mentioned, “Everyone in eighth grade—every girl in eighth grade or seventh grade[’s] summer reading list…[includes] ‘Little Women’” (YouTube, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, “Saoirse Ronan Enjoyed Having The Emotional Upper Hand Over Timothée Chalamet In ‘Little Women,’” 12.10.2019).

These responses are perfect examples of a much-needed attitude shift when it comes to how we value female-centric narratives.

It’s too bad that so many men missed out on reading “Little Women” when they were younger, but they still have the opportunity to experience the story with Gerwig’s retelling. A movie as cinematically stunning and well-written as hers should be appreciated by everyone.

This demeaning attitude permeates not only the discourse surrounding the film but its award nominations as well. A Vox article summed it up, noting that “[a]t the Golden Globes, “Little Women” only managed to scrape up nods for Saoirse Ronan’s turn as Jo March and for Best Original Score. It didn’t win in either category. Greta Gerwig’s screenplay has a WGA nomination, but

her direction went unnoticed at the Directors Guild Awards. And the Screen Actors Guild Awards ignored the movie completely” (Vox, “In 2020, Little Women has a men problem. But it used to be seen as a story for everyone,” 01.13.2020). In a separate interview Gerwig elaborated, “There’s so much beautiful work by women this year that you would love to see it acknowledged by anyone who has trophies to give out. You hope that they give them to some ladies” (BBC, “Little Women cast on female Golden Globe nominees,” 12.17.2019).

This trend of snubbing stories about women, by women has continued into the Oscars, where “Little Women” has been nominated for six total awards, including Best Actress (Ronan), Best Supporting Actress (Pugh), Best Picture (producer Amy Pascal) and Best Adapted Screenplay (Gerwig). Notably missing is Gerwig’s Best Director nomination. Despite the success of the film, this comes as no surprise. Only five women directors and 22 directors of color have ever been nominated for the Oscars (Vox, “In 2020, Little Women has a men problem. But it used to be seen as a story for everyone,” 01.13.2020).

This disparity mirrors a central narrative in Gerwig’s adaptation. Jo wants to become a writer, but her chances of success are slim because she is a woman; she has to fight in order to be given the same respect as her male contemporaries. While we have made strides since Alcott’s time, Jo’s narrative persists. This is part of what makes “Little Women” such a compelling story. Times may have changed, but the message remains the same: Women still have stories to tell, and everyone should be listening.

Outsider art exhibition empowers ‘unschooled’ aesthetes Leila Raines

Guest Reporter

A

rt is vital to humanity. Millions of people, all over the world, rely on art. Whether they are creating a piece or just examining one, art is a gateway to emotional fluency, to show others how we feel when words fail. The internal desire to manifest emotion through painting, sculpture, architecture and so much more attracted art history professor and art collector Arthur F. Jones to an assembly of art outside of the world of formal training and fineness, into that of selftaught and outsider artists. Jones’ collection, comprised of pieces from a variety of self-taught artists, is now on display in the James W. Palmer Gallery in the College Center, which opened on Tuesday, Jan. 21.

What is self-taught art? Jones sees the practitioners of self-taught art as those who are motivated to express themselves

despite having no formal training. “I applied the term particularly to works by artists who developed their own methods for making art, rather than attempting to imitate what trained artists do,” Jones explained in an email correspondence. “A talented self-taught artist works boldly with confidence in their own inventiveness, without making attempts to follow the ‘rules’ of schooled art.”

The professor’s move to Kentucky in the 1970s and his subsequent discovery of contemporary folk art sparked an interest in this “unschooled” mode of art-making.

His growing involvement with the folk scene, and the absence of major museums where his career brought him, introduced him to numerous self-taught artists, whose work he would begin to collect and curate some years later.

Aside from collecting, Jones worked in academia, receiving a PhD before teaching at the University of Kentucky, Radford

Curator Arthur Jones contemplated, “The exhibition might question the meaning of the word ‘art,’ especially when seen at a college.” Grace Rousell/The Miscellany News.

University and the University of North Dakota. But Jones took his teachings far beyond the typical PowerPoint presentation in his art history classes. “When I taught college courses on self-taught art and outsider art, I frequently brought original artworks from my collection into my classes and taught directly from the objects (and not just from slides),” he said. Sharing his collected artwork with his students has led him to refer to the Palmer Gallery sample as a “teaching collection.”

On display is the work of Inez Nathaniel Walker, also the subject of an exhibition called “Freehand” at the Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center last spring. She emerged in the world of self-taught art while incarcerated at the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility in New York State. She mainly drew pictures of other inmates, one of which can be found in Jones’s collection, a piece made from pencil, markers and paper, titled “Woman.”

Ike Morgan, another featured artist, gained recognition as an outsider artist with his drawings, which he made when he was hospitalized for schizophrenia.

Morgan’s “Singer,” a pastel on paper piece, joined Jones’ collection in the 1980s, a highlight of the exhibition, a colorful and contemplative portrait. Another prominent piece is Charley Kinney’s “Wild Cat.” This painting, depicting a cat with blood oozing from its mouth as it eats a rat in its claws, haunts passersby.

But the scope of the gallery extends beyond two-dimensional pieces; various sculptures and photographs of outdoor installments, which Jones visited and photographed himself, are scattered

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

throughout. In fact, one of the first pieces that greets you as you walk into the space is a small brain-shaped sculpture with pencils jutting out of it, fittingly titled “Pencil Holder.” Charles Williams, a janitor for IBM from Kentucky, created the brain-shaped piece from melted plastic, coiled wire and spray paint. The short biography of Williams, which is available to read in the gallery, shares the motivation behind his art: “Williams…[had] a desire to make things that are useful and not just ‘pretty,’ such as pencil holders that were often made out of trash retrieved from IBM dumpsters.”

The piece was a favorite among many of the students who entered the gallery, not only for its flashiness but also by virtue of the curating choices. “I was drawn to the ‘Pencil Holder,’” Melanie Carolan ’23 recalled. “It was right at the entrance, so my eyes were drawn to it.”

Works by self-taught and outsider artists challenge the conception that only official training makes a work of art valid, an impression that pervades educational spaces that promote the study of tradition and acclaimed historical figures. With the diverse backgrounds and experiences of the artists it features, the teaching collection unleashes a spirit not confined to any formal teaching or knowledge, or of specific techniques that have already been established by supposed creative authorities.

An enthusiast as much as an educator, Jones’s curation questions the meaning of art as we know it. “Self-taught and Outsider Art from a Private ‘Teaching Collection,’” is available in the James W. Palmer Gallery until Feb. 16.

February 6, 2020

ARTS

Tommy Shenefield He/Him/His Class of 2023 In my drawings, I like to depict moments at the intersection of the mundane and the unusual. Characters are often straight-faced despite their vibrantly colored surroundings. I tend to draw digitally, both because of the vivid colors it allows for and my love of the “undo” button.

Top: “Blessing Of The Fleet” Middle: “Planty Jim” Botom: “Rubert In His Element”

Page 7

What is the most frustrating thing students do?

“Putting the wrong course number on add/ drop forms.”

— Colleen Mallet

“Not taking advantage of all the resources available to them.”

— Wendy Maragh Taylor

“The 11th hour requests. Asking us to review things a day before they need to be submitted.”

— Mario Roman

“This a cultural difference. But when people say “how are you?”and then just keep walking.”

— Massimo Gordini “When students doubt their own abilities to succeed, even though they are very capable.”

— Kerry Stamp “Spend more time crying about the amount of work they have than actually doing this work.”

— Valya Blashchuk Francisco Andrade, Humor Editor Yvette Hu, Photo Editor

Banner design by Juliette Pope/The Miscellany News.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Banner design by Frankie Knuckles/The Miscellany News.

Page 8

FEATURES

Interest in Korean culture facilitates curricular expansion Continued from Language on page 1 Studies Program, explained that there was a growing interest in the Korean language.

“A few years ago,” she said, “I was told by the director of the self-instructional language program that the number of enrollments for the Korean language had been increasing.”

Kim, a former student of the self-instructional program and current student in the standard course, remembered the initial size of her class: three students, including herself. She believed that her class experience was disorganized. After her first teacher moved away, her self-instructional teacher was replaced with one who spoke Korean, but not English. This forced Kim, a Korean American who knew some Korean, to act as a bridge between the teacher and her non-Korean speaking classmates.

“It was very subpar teaching. The instructor would rely on Korean people like me to explain to them. But at the same time I [was] also trying to learn, and it was very difficult because as a Korean person you have to take on a responsibility to teach your classmates when you’re supposed to be learning,” Kim reflected. “It was really lenient and you could get an easy A, but I can very confidently say that I didn’t learn much Korean at all.”

“At the wave’s crest, the possibilities are endless.”

With the K-Wave, student interest in Korean language and culture grew, prompting Vassar to transition toward formal Korean language classes, beginning Fall 2018. Although she did not teach the Korean language, Moon got involved with the hiring process, drawing from her experience as a sociologist specializing in South Korea.

She had observed the growing popularity of Korean culture within Vassar’s student body. “I started reaching out to the Dean of the Faculty and Asian Studies and discussed with them that Korean language was getting attention from students—not just from Korean students but a wide range of backgrounds,” said Moon.

Moon sought out full-time instructors in an organization called the Allex Foundation. This organization typically sends out language fellows, but Moon spoke with a director who was open to expanding the foundation’s influence beyond China and Japan. In the summer of 2017, that director interviewed candidates in South Korea and found Visiting Instructor of Asian Studies Claire Jungran Kang.

Unlike many other candidates who had just graduated from college, Kang had professional experience as a Korean and English translator, as well as a certification for teaching the Korean language. She also had over a decade of experience working in positions in the Korean government and large Korean and multinational companies, including the Ministry of Finance and Economy of Korea, Samsung and SC Johnson.

“The [Allex] foundation not only helped me to settle in Vassar,” said Kang, “but introduced me to a fascinating and highly effective language teaching pedagogy called

‘Performed Culture,’ which I adopted 100 percent to my classes.” Kang described “Performed Culture” as “a performance and culture based learning mechanism,” with the course divided into sections: ACT and FACT classes.

Chase Engel ’23, who is taking Elementary Korean, described how ACT and FACT classes function. “ACT classes involve memorizing typical Korean conversations and practicing with peers in front of the class,” he explained. “This helps us grow accustomed to speaking the language and feeling comfortable speaking despite our horrible accents or mistakes. FACT classes are informational: outlining grammar, words and other contents of the chapter in our textbook.” Kang also designates some days for the study of Korean culture, including movies and popular music.

Engel has noticed the influence of the Korean Wave since his arrival at Vassar. “K-pop, K-dramas and everything in between have really blown up on the internet and many fans of this media have come to love Korean culture through it,” Engel said. “I have so many friends that turned into a K-pop or K-drama addict in recent years, including myself.”

K-pop connected Stephanie Gull ’23, who is currently taking Intermediate Korean, to the Korean Wave. As the president of KoDC, she shared, “KoDC is integrally connected to the Hallyu wave, as the more recent international enjoyment of K-pop is what encourages a diverse group of students to join a club that specifically focuses on learning covers to K-pop choreography.”

Kim herself joined KoDC in the first year it was founded. She also served as the media chair of KSA, which brings elements of Korean culture into the Vassar community through K-Pop Mug Nights and K-Fest.

Another part of KSA is samulnori (사물놀 이), or Korean traditional music or drums.

“We want to bring that type of history and culture in conjunction with newer Korean culture,” explained Kim. “I hear a lot about college students who are interested in learning Korean language or Korean studies as a major or minor. And many of them, the way they were introduced to Korea is through Korean pop culture, the Korean wave,” Moon affirmed. “I think it’s something really positive overall.

I am hoping that other small societies in the world which didn’t receive due recognition for their own history, culture and contribution to world culture–they should get due recognition.”

Kang expressed a similar sentiment, noting that Vassar is attracting more students from diverse backgrounds, especially the number of Asian students. “I believe that raising awareness of different cultures and appreciating the diversity is the key to evolving into a mature and embracing community,” she said. “In this context, I am honored to be a part of it by meeting my lovely students and learning from each other every day.”

The Korean Wave’s impact exists in many forms around the Vassar campus, from clubs like KoDC and KSA to the Korean language and culture classes available. Its tide doesn’t seem to be receding; recent examples such as Parasite’s win at the SAG Awards and BTS’ performance at the Grammys show that it will continue to spread exponentially.

At the wave’s crest, the possibilities are endless—perhaps more Korean classes and even a Korean major will form at Vassar. And someday, Korean culture may be inseparable from Vassar’s own.

February 6, 2020

ALANA Center event kick

This week, the ALANA Center marked the beginning of Black History Month with a talk b ticism, and Liberation.” Students gathered on Feb. 4 in Rocky 200 to hear Perry, who des spirituality. She related her own experience growing up within organized religion, a West onize their relationship to religion. The event also included poetry readi

Saredo Ali ’22 (left) and Hayley Craig ’2

ALANA Center Director Kevin

Perry discusses Black mysticism and liberation.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

FEATURES

February 6, 2020

ks off Black History Month

by co-founder of the nonprofit Mystic Soul Project Jade T. Perry entitled “Blackness, Mysscribes herself as a writer, speaker, educator, artist and mystic, discuss African diasporic tern European colonizing force. Perry explained that Black mysticism allows one to decolings by two students. All photos by Tiana Headley/The Miscellany News.

Page 9

Want to get active?

Check out four local fitness gems

by Gillian Redstone Assistant Features Editor Walker Field House is a great place to get in a workout, whether on your own or in one of Vassar’s guided classes. But, sometimes getting off campus to get in touch with your physical self is exactly what you need to clear your head and work your body, be it just for fun or a serious commitment. Not to mention, you’re less likely to run into your professors.

Stonewave Yoga This new yoga studio is within walking distance of campus, located at 2 LaGrange Avenue, Suite 206—you’ve probably seen the sign above Crafted Kup. The first class is free to all Vassar students with a flash of your ID and then there is a deal for two weeks of unlimited classes for $25. After these two weeks, students can participate in any of the membership options, including class packages and an unlimited program where you can pay to attend as many classes as you want on a monthly basis. Students also get a 10 percent discount for all packages. The space’s dimly lit studios and chill music help to create an aura of relaxation for the variety of yoga-based classes, including Vinyasa-style, restorative/gentle yoga and Yin, as well as more rigorous classes such as High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) and a HIIT pilates combination. Many classes are taught both with and without heat.

Precision Boxing and MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) Precision Boxing is located at 51 Burnett Blvd. in Poughkeepsie, about a 5-10 minute drive from campus. The gym offers a variety of membership options, and anyone can either register online or walk in for an initial appointment. At this appointment, trainers plan to discuss goals, give a tour of the facilities and provide a free one-on-one lesson to determine the best style of boxing or MMA for each potential member. One option is a 30-day free trial where members can try out any basic level class, from boxing to Jiu-Jitsu to Muay Thai. After the trial, participants can explore the different membership options. The studio’s manager, Oliver Swanson, promotes a culture of open-mindedness throughout the gym and believes that boxing, MMA and self defense can benefit people from all walks of life. While the studio does not currently have a student discount, it is planning to develop one.

22 (right) read poems prior to Perry’s talk.

Courtesy of Precision Mixed Martial Arts via Facebook.

Orangetheory Fitness Orangetheory is a chain fitness center with locations all around the country, one of which is a 15-minute drive away at 1895 South Road in Poughkeepsie. The first class is free for everyone, and participants should bring water and a towel with them. The studio’s coaches explain the class, discuss goals and give everyone a heart rate monitor. The classes are similar to a Crossfit style of workout, combining elements of both cardio and strength by using a variety of machines and techniques that work within five heart-rate “zones” of effort. According to their website, the zones range from “very light activity” to “uncomfortable” to “all out effort.” The zones are unique to each trainee’s individual heart rate. Additionally, Orangetheory places a focus on ensuring that everyone has the option to work at their own pace and comfort levels, as well as building a fitness community. After the free class, students have the options of unlimited classes, eight classes a month, or four classes a month.

Ashtanga Yoga Newburgh This yoga studio focuses specifically on the “Ashtanga” style. Rather than the yoga “flow” that many people may be familiar with, this practice is based on a finite number of postures that participants learn and improve as they continue to practice. Beginners who have no previous knowledge of Ashtanga postures are welcome to the studio and should not be intimidated. This studio is further away from campus at 18 Norton Street in Newburgh—about a 40-minute drive—but is something new to try out if you’re interested in yoga, but Yin or Vinyasa aren’t your style. The studio is owner Bibi Lorenzetti’s converted garage, a warm and open space that invites openness of the mind and body as well. Students have a discounted $18 price for dropping in, as well as a discounted price of $60 for four classes. Make sure to RSVP in advance on the studio’s website.

n Collins (left) and Jade T. Perry (right).

Students attend the ALANA Center’s kickoff.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Courtesy of Bibi Lorenzetti via Facebook.

Page 10

HUMOR

February 6, 2020

Breaking News

From the desk of Francisco Andrade, Humor Editor

At the Iowa Caucus, all is lost.

Passionate reporter spreads sex toy industry wide open I

Blair Webber Master of Double Entendres

took last semester off to live and work in New York City. A sprawling metropolis of finance bros and artsy vegans, New York City is the one and only place for a 20-something to find themselves, and that is exactly what I did there during my time off. In addition to taking the film industry by storm in my low-level internship, I began working for a sex toy startup because I honestly have my finger(s) on where our society is heading more than everyone else. It is possible they hired me because I knew someone who knew the CEO, but I think my incredible cultural literacy is a more likely explanation.

“What’s it like working for a start-up?” is a question I ask myself loudly in the Deece so everyone around me can hear. It is, in a word, transcendent. It’s taught me to order my time-sensitive actionables to achieve a productive workflow when I’m ready to execute. I’m pinging collaborators and looping in team members when I’m ready to hand off projects. Projects usually start off at kind of a slow pace, but

once things get going they’re exhilarating.

It’s thrilling. And it’s on the cutting edge of a multi-billion dollar industry that has no major D2C players appealing to a mass market. In other words, I am the future of sex tech. Or at least the company that pays me $15 an hour is.

Despite all this, working in a taboo industry is hard. First of all, people assume my intimate life is spread wide open for discussion. Everyone thinks I’m super into butt stuff because the company focuses on butt plugs, but my sex life is something I only want to discuss privately on my instagram, twitter and when anybody in the College Center asks me in passing how I’ve been. For example, one friend told me to put a plug in it, and while I’m flattered by their interest, I had to let them down easy because I’m just not interested in them like that. Second, since I’m such an expert, everyone asks me their personal questions all the time. It’s truly exhausting to be so knowledgeable. It’s up to me now to fill in the gaps our sex education system leaves—gaps that are wide and deep. I guess someone needs to change

the world, and it seems like I’m the only one left to do it since everyone I know is suddenly “too busy” to hang out with me anymore.

One thing feels confusing to me about this, though. As a company specializing in pleasure, we’re supposed to bring people together, but the more I talk about workflow and points of entry in the market, I find myself all by my lonesome. This is mostly fine, since I’m chock-full of work, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m shoving this in my friends’ faces a little too much.

When it comes to social interactions, I guess I do insert my work for the sex toy company a little aggressively. I could definitely ease it into the conversation more deliberately—let things settle into a rhythm and then slip it in when we’re all ready for it. Sometimes these subjects are too sensitive and I should back off. I’m just really excited, and it can be hard to be patient in the moment, especially when there is such a huge load…to discuss.

To be clear: if changing the world one butt plug at a time means Deecing alone more often, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing

to make. Things aren’t always about us, and sometimes finishing something on your own is more satisfying than trying to make it work with a group of friends. Plus I really like working for this start up, and with only five of us I feel valued and taken care of. I love that I get to blow up my Google search with things like the history of condoms for marketing purposes (and for personal trivia knowledge).

For now this is about changing my life more than changing the world, but there cannot be enough spaces for better sex ed and encouraging conversations with partners, but if my friends would just open up and allow the knowledge of all of the amazing opportunities the start-up has to enter them, then I’d have a perfectly healthy work life balance. I don’t mean to drill it into anyone, but it’s pretty awesome to work for a start-up, and if it’s something you want to know more about you can email me at bwebber@vassar.edu because I sure would like people to go to the Deece with again. After all, shoving things in your mouth is not as much fun by yourself.

Showcased below: A gallery of (girthy) collected works by nineteenth century artist Kōno Bairei (1844-1895)

Courtesy of rawpixel MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

HUMOR

Momus, Goddess of Satire and potty HOROSCOPES jokes, expels advice from her every orifice

February 6, 2020

Page 11

Madi Donat

Astral Projector

ARIES

Relish in your individuality as we approach a full-moon. There’s no curbing your power!

Make up your own language and shout it at people; whoever stays is a true friend.

TAURUS

Apr 20 | May 20

Get ready for a week of new beginnings! Now would be a perfect time to cleanse yourself.

Literally. Take a shower, please. It’s getting ridiculous.

GEMINI

May 21 | Jun 20

Act before you think…is what the stars say, but that’s terrible advice for anyone, much less a Gemini. Ask both of your faces what they want to do, and split the difference.

CANCER

Jun 21 | Jul 22

Start looking for more ways to connect to others—like kitchen twine, maybe. Target might sell handcuffs. Keep your friends close…no, closer.

LEO |

Jul 23 | Aug 22

Venus’ stint in Pisces isn’t making you too happy right now, so here is some advice to get over whoever is on your mind: Move to Europe, change your name, become a spy.

Works like a charm.

VIRGO

Aug 23 | Sep 22

You might be feeling productive, but try not to make work your whole life. You have other traits, too, like constantly overthinking everything everyone says to you. Actually, maybe work is better.

LIBRA

By Ivanna Guerra (Speaker for the Goddess)

Mar 21 | Apr 19

D

ear Momus,

I can’t get used to going to the bathroom with other people around. How can I keep people from noticing the sound of me farting or peeing?

Xoxo, Anxious anus Dear Anxious anus,

Due to the frequency of these bathroom related questions, I can say that Vassar students are having a bathroom crisis. I really do not blame any of you for confiding in me for a bit of loo advice. Neither Vassar, nor any of the other colleges we toured, warned us that we would develop serious digestive issues because we cannot go to the bathroom in front of our peers.

If I would have known, I would have asked for a pamphlet on how to train my shy bladder, or as you described it best, my anxious anus.

Before dorm living, I thought I would have to relive my most embarrassing moment of having explosive diarrhea at a public bathroom where all the stalls were full. It’s one thing to be vulnerable in front of strangers, but to be among peers takes vulnerability to a whole different level.

Orientation week was not easy at all. How do you share with a group of strangers that you have a colon? It’s not like sharing your hometown or your hobbies, but it eventually catches up with you during your first post-seafood-at-the-Deece crisis. I can tell you that it is not you who decides when to share with your mates that you do, in fact, poop. Perhaps it is best to let your colon do all the talking. Admittedly, this is not an easy step to take. Alternatively, you can do what my friend did to buy time before taking such a huge step. So, this friend of mine always went to the bathroom in the Jewett basement to avoid people finding out her secret that she pooped at least

once a day. I told her she shouldn’t be ashamed of that and that it was a sign of a healthy digestive tract.

Still, even if you try to hide it, evidence of going to the toilet is kinda hard to hide (As it’s obvious by how much Vassar students spend on bleach). If you do what my friend did, I think it will buy you time to warm up to the people living on your floor, enough to share with them that you go to the bathroom. It’s quite a difficult conversation, but you just have to get over the initial awkwardness.

Eventually you will be an upperclassman and you will be living in a TH, TA or SoCo. There you only have to tell a few people that you go to the bathroom. The silver lining in all of this is that they will not be in the bathroom with you when you go, so you can take as long as you want! It does get better. I promise.

Avid fiber eater, Momus

Womp Womp World

by Frank

Sep 23 | Oct 22

Mercury is making sure that your capacity for love is endless right now—both for others and yourself. Moisturize, cook a meal and do your reading. Like, now. It’s already late.

SCORPIO

Oct 23 | Nov 21

Spring is on its way, so you’re not allowed to be sad anymore, legally. Go get a tattoo or shave your head or something else that will make your parents angry and your friends worried for you.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov 22 | Dec 21

There are new and crazy things ahead! Not sure whether they’re good or bad, though. Be very excited, but also definitely watch out!

Don’t look behind you!!!

CAPRICORN Dec 22 | Jan 19 You know by now that using your words is key, but so is body language. Tell people how you feel by Renegade-ing really fast at them.

They should be able to get it.

AQUARIUS

Vassar Bitch Chronicles Emily Leserogol ’22

Jan 20 | Feb 18

It’s Aquarius season, so I’ll humor you: Wow. That niche fact about an obscure subject was so interesting. I will ask you many things about it in the future. We shall have daily scheduled sessions.

PISCES Feb 19 | Mar 20 Now is one of the few times where you can feel confident about your communication skills. Use that power wisely, and that doesn’t mean tell everyone about the dream you had last night.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

OPINIONS

Page 12

Quite Frankly Frankie Knuckles

Managing Editor Quality Advice-Giver

Hey Frankie, How do you tell people to just stop talking, please?

Sincerely, Silence Seeker Dear Frankie, I live in a house with very thin walls, and my neighbors are incredibly...noisy. I just want to grow crystals in peace. How do I get some peace and quiet?

Sincerely, Terribly Tired Dear Seeker and Tired,

Q

uite frankly, moments of quiet solitude can be difficult to come by, particularly when you live, study, work, socialize and rest all in the same location.

Separating those modes of existence becomes a challenge.

If your sole goal is silence, I have very straightforward advice: Make use of quiet spaces on campus, both designated and unofficial. There’s the Quiet Room on the third floor of the library, which hosts meditation sessions and remains open for solo use whenever no official events are taking place. Just remember to take off your shoes. Less officially, many folks don’t use their department lounges, and many of them are quite aesthetic and generally quiet. Some study spaces, even when populated, tend to be quiet (like the Old Bookstore, most of the time).

As for residential peace and quiet for your crystal growing operation, I would recommend trying to keep tabs on what your neighbors’ most active times are— not, like, keep a spreadsheet or anything, but just be aware whether they’re nocturnal, diurnal or crepuscular. Odds are that, for at least one hour per week if not several, there’s a window in which you’re not in class and they are. And that’s prime crystal time.

You could also try direct confrontation.

Many people are pretty reasonable if you approach them kindly (not passive-aggressively) and say, “Hey, I would really love to have some designated peaceful time in the week; would you mind keeping volume low for just an hour?” If you’re nice and they don’t respond or change behavior, you can also reach out to your House Advisor to address the issue if their noise is creating problems for you.

Of course, a third option would be investing in some nice earplugs. Then, regardless of the volume of your neighbors, you can enjoy watching molecules accumulate.

Best wishes, Frankie P.S. Remember that you deserve to have space of your own, and people don’t have the right to encroach on your mental, physical or emotional space!

Have a question you’d like Frankie to answer? Scan the QR code to submit!

February 6, 2020

Letter to the Editor As indicated in the January 30 edition of The Miscellany News, Vassar’s Inn & Institute (I/I) project is facing some serious hurdles before any demolition or construction can begin. Alas, to understand what’s going on requires delving into a few technical details.

Section 210-38 of the Town of Poughkeepsie’s Zoning Law explicitly lists the “permitted uses” for the “Institutional Zone,” to which all of Vassar’s property belongs. For Vassar, the only relevant item in that list is “colleges and universities.” Now, the text of the zoning law does not define “college” or “university,” but Section 210-13.F states that “Where permitted uses are identified by generic words or descriptions, the Zoning Board of Appeals (ZBA) shall determine whether a specific use shall be construed to be part of such generic class.” In November of 2019, the Town’s Zoning Administrator ruled that “conference center” is a permitted use within the Institutional Zone—presumably because a conference center helps the college fulfill its educational mission—but “hotel” is not (i.e., the “Institute” is okay, but the “Inn” is not). That should be the end of the story.

However, Vassar is appealing the ruling, arguing that colleges operating hotels is “customary,” apparently relying on Section 210-8.A, which states that: “Except where specifically defined herein, all words used in this chapter shall carry their customary meanings.” In the public hearing on January 13, Vassar noted that eight of Vassar’s 20 “peer institutions” (i.e. 40 percent) have college-owned hotels. However, four of those are located within downtown commercial districts; another is not on or adjacent to campus; and another is adjacent to campus but located on a street labeled “high traffic density” on the zoning map. Only two (i.e.

ten percent) are located on campus, but neither of those is adjacent to a residential area. In other words, it is customary for colleges either to not own hotels or to place them away from campus in downtown commercial districts. It is relatively rare for a college to place a hotel on or adjacent to its campus, especially if it is adjacent to a residential neighborhood.

For these reasons, the ZBA may very well deny Vassar’s appeal. This issue will be taken up at the Feb. 10 public hearing at the Zoning Board of Appeals (6 p.m. at 1 Overocker Road; public comments welcome).

Even if Vassar ultimately wins its appeal with the ZBA, it would still have to win approval from the Planning Board, whose next public hearing may be at the Feb. 20 meeting (5 p.m. at 1O Overocker Road; public comments welcome).

When making its determination, the Planning Board must heed the content of the Zoning Law. In particular, Section 210-38 says that “[The Institutional Zone] recognizes the importance of these institutions and provides protections for their continued growth and operation while ensuring that nearby residential neighborhoods are protected,” (emphasis added). Therefore, the impact of Vassar’s I/I project on the adjacent College Avenue residential neighborhood is front and center. Vassar’s project would ruin one-half of the lovely green park along Raymond Avenue (home to the weekly Farmers’ Market and other community events), it would demolish the 21 apartments within the three Williams faculty housing buildings (gifted to Vassar in the 1920s by Harriet Williams, class of 1870) and one more faculty house, replacing them with two giant parking lots; and it would increase traffic and noise, and decrease pedestrian safety. Concerned by

these impacts, one of the Planning Board members admonished Vassar at the September 2019 Planning Board meeting: “We don’t want you to waste your time and money...We are not satisfied...That building is going to be a dominant factor in that neighborhood. And it seems to me you could spend a little more time— and I wouldn’t be surprised if our Board didn’t ask you to spend a little more time looking at some alternatives. I think you get the idea that we are not happy...In that location, we are not happy. And if you wanted to put that same building on the campus somewhere, on the east side of Raymond Avenue, or if you wanted to put it on the Farm, on Hooker Avenue, I don’t think we would have any problem, because there it’s a different context.

That’s the problem that we’re having.

It’s not that we don’t want you to do this.

It’s that design, in that location, I think, generally that we’re having a problem with. Really, we’re imploring you—so that we don’t have to keep doing this over and over and over again—to come up with a different plan” (YouTube, Town of Poughkeepsie, “Planning Board 201909-19,” 09.26.2019).

In short, the I/I is far from a “done deal.”

Anyone who is concerned about the serious impacts of Vassar’s I/I project is welcome to attend any of the public hearings of the ZBA or the Planning Board.

The Planning Board’s Feb. 20 meeting is likely to be crucial. (Check the Town’s website to confirm the agenda.) Public comments are limited to three minutes per person.

Sincerely, Prof. Luke Hunsberger Chair of Computer Science

Big tech, big oil unite to destroy the planet Alysa Chen

S

Guest Columnist

chool is back. Syllabi have been distributed and class schedules finalized, so the average Vassar student is sure to be scouring Amazon for used textbooks.

What this online search replaces, however, is the pleasant trip to the Juliet or its locally owned, independent neighbor The Three Arts. Our campus is quick to protest fossil fuels and capitalism, but often fails to do so with its wallets.

I must admit that I am equally guilty of ordering low-priced items from Amazon Prime. For me, it frequently is a question of affordability—Amazon alleviates costs that burden my mother’s already strained paycheck. With Amazon constantly raising the bar for efficiency by automation, everyone faces the temptation of convenience. Excessive shopping on Amazon is a form of addiction plaguing the modern consumer, and its impact certainly doesn’t stop at textbook needs. Of course, this is the point; Amazon is designed to appeal to us with many click-worthy options at once.

Big tech companies like Amazon, Google and Microsoft appear, on the surface, to be acting in the best interest of their consumers in other ways as well. They claim to champion renewable energy, use AI to advance sustainability efforts and reduce the impact of climate change. Amazon even has a Climate Pledge, which states the company’s commitment to a low-carbon future by planning to reach 80 percent renewable

energy by 2024 and 100 percent renewable energy by 2030 (The Amazon Blog, “Powering HQ2 with 100% renewable energy,” 01.28.2020).

What tech companies don’t advertise as much is their relationship with leading oil and gas companies. Drilling oil generates complex data, such as drilling location, design and cost, that can be processed exponentially quicker by AI than humans.

Amazon recently seized this opportunity and partnered with OAG Analytics, a data science start-up specializing in AI, to optimize the profits of the oil and gas industry (Amazon Web Services Blog, “How OAG Analytics Leverages AI and Machine Learning to Optimize the Profitability of Oil and Gas Wells,” 08.12.2019). By joining forces with big oil, Amazon maximizes its own benefits while releasing more greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.

Tech companies provide excuses for backing big oil that highlight their inconsistencies. When accused of donating to climate-change-denying think tanks, a Google spokesperson responded that they were “hardly alone” in contributing to organizations they do not politically align with (Oil Price, “Why Big Tech Is Backing Big Oil,” 01.06.2020). This is not an adequate excuse at all. It illustrates that these companies are unable to prioritize their professed commitments to customers, such as the Climate Pledge. Big tech particularly presents themselves as future-oriented companies, but would rather maximize their profits

The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

even if it means exacerbating the onset of worsening natural disasters. Testaments to this fact are its poor treatment of workers and enormous carbon footprint.

We cannot ignore the consequences of the marriage of big tech to big oil, nor can we adopt the same “It’s not just me” mindset. The difficult part is reimagining our consumer philosophy and producing competitive alternatives. It’s holding big companies accountable, starting with something as small as our individual consumer choices, if we have the privilege to do so—or even a trip to the small bookstore down the road— and ending with awareness of the massive environmental impact of our providers. At Vassar, many of us do have the privilege to make these choices, but still choose to feed into the climate crisis even if we can do otherwise. It’s not enough, anymore, for us to just live in the reality that is given to us.

Courtesy of pxfuel.

February 6, 2020

OPINIONS

Page 13

Confessions of a former Warren supporter Alice Woo Columnist

L

et me begin by stating that, no matter the results of the primary, the Democratic party must unite behind whoever wins the nomination. In the event that Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) is the nominee, I would never want the ire of Bernie Sanders supporters to detract from her campaign.

There is a widespread perception that diehard “Bernie Bros” cost Hillary Clinton the presidency, either due to apathy about the nominee or because they voted for Trump instead of supporting her. The truth is that Sanders himself held not one, not five, but 39 rallies for Clinton Unfortunately, irritation at Sanders’ outspoken followers persists and turns many progressives away from the candidate. As recently as November, I hesitated to lump myself in with this zealous group of “Bernie Bros,” which I saw as overwhelmingly white and male. If Warren and Sanders are similar enough, I reasoned, I’d much rather vote a woman into office. Not to mention her obvious intelligence, experience and eloquence.

However, despite my reluctance to feed into the Sanders vs. Warren divide, lest it prove damaging later on, I feel it is necessary to acknowledge the differences between the candidates as the primaries draw near. As a feminist, it feels counterintuitive to vote against a woman, but I don’t condone voting based solely on identity. Though I profoundly desire a Madam President, each new piece of information I learn makes me more confident that Sanders is the only candidate I can support in the Democratic primary. Yes, Warren is my second choice, but she is a distant second.

Let’s start simple: notable endorsement.

At first, I was heartened by Warren’s many eminent supporters, including feminist author Roxane Gay, soccer and LGBT icon Megan Rapinoe and actress Constance Wu. Compared to the “Bernie Bros” (the mainstream representation of Sanders’ endorsers), I felt more compelled to listen to women of color and LGBT folks. I’d much rather place myself in the camp of powerful women supporting a powerful woman, I thought, than join the ranks of belligerent male followers of an old white man.

But then Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) and Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) endorsed Sanders (Vox, “AOC and Ilhan Omar endorse Bernie Sanders for president,” 10.16.2019). That’s when my perception of Sanders’ following began to shift. These were two endorsements by women of color in politics, people who craft policy and debate in the House daily. AOC’s rhetoric and policies (such as staunch support for immigration justice and opposition to corporate influence in government) have always aligned so well with my beliefs, and when I realized her views align most closely with Sanders’, enough for her to endorse him over a fellow woman in politics, I realized I must look beyond Sanders’ fanbase before deciding whom I would vote for.

Comedian Joe Rogan’s recent Sanders endorsement garnered controversy, as he is known for right-leaning politics and politically incorrect humor. However, Sanders has numerous endorsements among left-leaning activists: Jamie Margolin, Qasim Rashid, Barbara Smith, Eddy Zheng, Noura Erakat and 20 more. The fact is, Sanders attracts not only steadfast Democrats, but new voters, whether they are young or just disillusioned with American politics (Reuters, “Looking for a winner, Democrats keep Biden and Sanders on top:

Reuters/Ipsos poll,” 01.09.2020). To me, this data is a heartening example of people uniting across the aisle in pursuit of economic justice. His rhetoric may seem to alienate the middle/right, but his more conservative and moderate endorsements show this isn’t quite the case: He’s a candidate who could represent a wide spectrum of people, rather than solely the default Democrats.

Furthermore, in contrast to Sanders’ lengthy list of activist endorsers, most of Warren’s outspoken advocates are notably wealthy, such as Chrissy Teigen and Scarlett Johansson, and few are activists. These particular celebrity endorsements demonstrate the very different strengths of Sanders and Warren: He is able to unite the left and right against capitalism, and she is equipped to keep the wealthy class just as wealthy as they were before. The New York Times, as a business and a for-profit institution, also recognizes the threat that Sanders poses to the establishment; thus, their recommendation of Warren (in tandem with Klobuchar) was not surprising to me. The Times, just like Hollywood celebrities, touts feminist rhetoric to masquerade as progressive without supporting any real change.

By now, it’s pretty common knowledge that Elizabeth Warren was a Republican for most of her political career and only changed parties in 1996 (Boston, “For Professor Warren, a steep climb, 08.19.2012). This means she probably voted for George H.W. Bush and Ronald Reagan (she has refused to comment on whether or not she voted for Reagan). For many, this conversion demonstrates that she may be someone who can convince other Republicans to switch over, just as she did (although her polls suggest otherwise).

In the ’90s, Warren worked as a lawyer for Dow Chemical (Washington Post, “Dow breast implant case spotlights Elizabeth Warren’s work helping big corporations navigate bankruptcies,” 07.15.2019) When tens of thousands of women reported that the silicone gel breast implants manufactured by Dow had made them sick, Warren “used every trick in the book,” according to a support group for victims of the incident, to convince cheat women out of the money the company owed them. “They don’t have any loyalty to American workers. They have loyalty to one thing, and that is their own profits,” asserted Warren in June, referring to corporations. She should know; she played for their team.

Bernie Sanders, however, has maintained remarkable consistency throughout his entire political career. His speeches from the ’80s and ’90s are just as relevant today, and he speaks with the same rhetoric and principle. He pointed out income inequality and the one percent back in 1976, asserting, “The fundamental issue facing us in the state is that...the richest one-half of one percent earn as much as the bottom 27 percent,” and he’s continuing to bring that topic to the debate stage today (NPR, “Bernie Sanders Has Stuck To The Same Message For 40 Years,” 12.11.2015). This past June, echoing speeches he’s been making for over thirty years, Sanders said, “Tens of millions of working-class people, in the wealthiest country on earth, are suffering under incredible economic hardship, desperately trying to survive” (Vox “Read: Bernie Sanders defines his vision for democratic socialism in the United States,” 06.12.2019). In short, Warren wants to avoid a class war. Bernie recognizes that there already is one, and it’s time for the working class to win it.

Bernie Sanders’ background shows me that he’s the only candidate truly commit-

ted to pulling the party, and entire political spectrum, leftward. Proposals like Medicare for all, canceling student debt, a wealth tax of up to eight percent and the Green New Deal would not have even entered many of his fellow candidates’ field of view were it not for his 2016 campaign. Yes, Warren shares some of Sanders’ more socialist proposals, but even within their common policies, I believe their differences need to be highlighted. Bernie Sanders has been pushing for a wealth tax since 1997 (New York Times, “Bernie Sanders Proposes a Wealth Tax: ‘I Don’t Think That Billionaires Should Exist,’”09.24.2019). Warren’s wealth-tax momentum gathered speed by piggy-backing onto Sanders’ idea and watering it down.

Even stretching into the $10.1 billion (BILLION) bracket and beyond, Warren never taxes above three percent; Sanders’ grows to eight percent. His plan would raise almost double the amount of Warren’s in a 10 year period. While I would be happy to see any implementation of a wealth tax, these numbers demonstrate a significant difference to me.

Moreover, Sanders is far more firm in his convictions on how the revenue his tax would generate would be used. Sanders recognizes the absurdity of the fact that we are the only wealthy nation on earth that does not guarantee health care for its citizens (CNN, “Bernie Sanders: Medicare for all’s time has come,” 08.16.2018). Warren agrees that health care is a human right, but she has already softened her stance, pushing instead for a Buy-In Public Option (Washington Post, “The Health 202: Elizabeth Warren is no longer a Medicarefor-all purist,” 11.18.2019). Due to her lack of consistent principles, I don’t trust her to prioritize social programs when it comes to government spending. In 2017, she voted for a bill that would increase military spending up to $700 billion. A full $60 billion is allocated for conflicts in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan and other Middle Eastern countries—a budget Trump is already putting to use (Left Voice, “Elizabeth Warren Votes for Massive Increase of War Budget,” 10.02.2017). War benefits no one but the wealthy; voting for increased military spending is a vote for big oil. I do not believe her willingness to compromise with the establishment is a good quality, especially when you consider her political career and employment background. Her concessions have continuously prioritized other things over the good of the working people.

While Elizabeth “capitalist-to-her-bones” Warren attempts to reconcile capitalism with social justice, Sanders understands that capitalism is the root of many problems in America and worldwide (The Atlantic, “Elizabeth Warren’s Theory of Capitalism,” 08.28.2018). His foreign policy rhetoric, while virtually absent in his 2016 campaign, deserves discussion now. Sanders is unique because he does not engage in American exceptionalism (The Atlantic, “It’s Foreign Policy That Distinguishes Bernie This Time,” 02.21.2019). He has long-condemned the US intervention in Latin American countries and the events of the Cold War, and currently opposes US aid in Israel. No other candidate so starkly opposes the modern imperialism of the United States.

Sanders again stands to the left of Warren on the topic of deportation. Bernie Sanders is the only candidate who supports pausing all deportations (Washington Post, “Where Democrats Stand: Immigration,” 05.06.2019). Warren believes we should focus deportation efforts on “actual criminals and real threats.” My question is, in a state

The opinions expressed above do not represent those of The Miscellany News as a whole.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Courtesy of Phil Roeder via Wikimedia Commons. where being brown-skinned is equated with committing a crime, how can facilities like the Immigration and Naturalization Service be trusted to determine who an “actual criminal” is?

Finally, a very serious issue that is almost never discussed: a candidate’s belief on whether prisoners deserve the right to vote.

Bernie believes that voting is a fundamental right. He understands the ties between suppression of the Black vote and mass incarceration in America. He is the only candidate who believes all individuals should be able to vote while incarcerated. Warren believes you earn the right to vote once you are released (Washington Post, “Where Democrats Stand: Criminal Justice,” 01.10.2018).

Her “plan” does not prioritize the rights of Black men and women who have been unjustly incarcerated.

I believe that capitalism is broken. I believe it is the root of poverty, the cause of the extreme income inequality in the United States, the motive for war, the justification for mass incarceration and deportation, the reason college is so expensive and the reason Amazon workers go into cardiac arrest on the job and are told to “get back to work” (New York Post, “Amazon workers ‘forced to go back to work’ after fellow employee dies on shift,” 10.19.2019).

As a democratic socialist, Bernie Sanders agrees with me. As a socially minded democrat, Elizabeth Warren wants to preserve this broken system. We use similar language to talk about the two candidates, and they can both be seen as leaders of progressivism in the Democratic party. But only one is truly here for a political upheaval. Only one places emphasis on grassroots movements over oligarchical politics. Only one has the establishment terrified. Only one has an effective plan of change that involves empowering an enormous and diverse coalition behind him (Vox, “Are Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders the same? The debate, explained,” 06.18.2019). Bernie Sanders is all about rallying the people, putting pressure on elected officials and supporting young politicians (like AOC). How did women earn the right to vote without being able to vote on that amendment? Protests and organization.

How did the Civil Rights movement gain any sort of leverage? Protests and organization. While I hesitate to directly compare him to these legendary historical champions of social justice, I also recognize that Sanders is the first leader of this archetype that we’ve seen in a long time. The (often intense) dedication of his following speaks to this power, and he openly expresses his desire to use the power of the presidency to further grassroots efforts. His people-focused rhetoric (“Not me. Us.”) is unique among candidates.

As activist Assata Shakur says, “Nobody in the world, nobody in history, has ever gotten their freedom by appealing to the moral sense of the people who were oppressing them.” The time for centrism and concessions to moderates is over. Sanders is our best shot at actually changing the class system in America. If he does not win the primary, I will gladly campaign for Warren (or whoever wins the nomination) with everything I have. But when given the rare opportunity to vote for a candidate who truly represents my principles, I’m going to take it.

SPORTS

Page 14

February 6, 2020

Sports editors past, present weigh in on mediocre NBA favorites Frere-Holmes, Kopitsky, Liederman sports editors, contributing editor

T

he NBA does not harbor mediocrity.

The All-Star game reminds us of that fact; soon, we’ll get to see basketball’s best share the same court. But what about some love for its lesser talent? Sure, it’s easy to get caught up by the frenzied theatrics of Dame Time, admire LeBron James and Anthony Davis playing the two-man game with domineering mastery, or gawk at Trae Young and James Harden’s silly strokes from deep. Put it in my veins.

But pause and ask yourself: Could the NBA function with just this handful of AllPros? The real backbone of the NBA is not its superstars or even its starters, but players six through 15. From the time they were in diapers to homecoming, these guys were the best every time they laced up and put Spalding to hardwood. That changed when they shook Commissioner Silver’s hand.

Suddenly they were schmucks, role players, glue guys, “open for a reason!” dudes.

How could we forget irrational confidence guy Dion Waiters? Eerily pale boners like Aaron Baynes and Frank “the Tank” Kaminsky deserve our love and gratitude, no?

Let us tip our New Era flat brims to all the journeyman point guards out there: Ish Smith, Jose Calderon, Tim Frazier, Raul Neto, all sweating it out as they battle for another single year contract.

So—to the NBA’s other guys, we haven’t forgotten you. This one’s for all the old school centers, the “he reminds me of me” guys, the purely playmaking point guards.

You are heard. You are seen. You are appreciated. Specifically, Jonah, Dean and Mack appreciate you.

Jonah — Ian Mahinmi I remember being 13 years old, watching you check in for the Pacers, and thinking, my God, that man has large shoulders. I also remember thinking, my God, 28 is an odd number for a basketball player to wear.

Today, Ian Mahinmi, I celebrate you.

I see you. You may think nobody noticed your valiant 10-point, 10-rebound effort against the Miami Heat a couple weeks ago.

You lost, because you play for the Washington Wizards. Still, Ian, you played for 35 minutes, the second-most of any player in the game. That’s a lot more playing time than you used to have with the Indiana Pacers, when you were backing up Defensive-Player-of-the-Year Roy Hibbert on a perennial playoff team. No, you have never averaged double figures in scoring or rebounding for a single season, though you have been in the NBA for 12 years. The Youtube highlight video from the night of your life, a game-changing 25-point outburst against the Miami Heat, has fewer than 1,500 views.

The video of Mike Scott dunking on you in the 2014 Playoffs, on the other hand, has over 150,000 views. Marcin Gortat dunked on you. Brandon Clarke dunked on you.

When you scored in the first quarter of a playoff game against the Toronto Raptors in 2017, the color commentator said, “Anything you get out of Ian Mahinmi is solid points, he’s really, really having a hard time scoring” (Youtube, LuTzzTV, “Ian Mahinmi Full Highlights vs Raptors R1G4/22 pts, 10 reb, 5 ast,” 04.18.2017). I don’t care. I don’t care that you’ve spent the majority of your career averaging fewer than 20 minutes per game. I remember watching you set solid screens for your guards and roll hard to the rim, ready to administer a bruising if not necessarily get a bucket. You will never sniff a Hall of Fame or All-NBA ballot, but those of us who grew up on the NBA in the 2010s will never forget you.

Dean—Marcin Gortat and Pero Antic Let me bring y’all back. In ninth grade I hated a man named Marcin Gortat. It was the 2015 Eastern Conference Semis, and my Hawks were facing off against the Washington Wizards. A brooding Polish center was making me suffer. My 60-win Hawks were going out of their way to get

abused by the man who came off the bench for Dwight Howard. His angular eyebrows were the stuff of my nightmares, and his mohawk was a 2010’s faux pas only a Eurotrash mother could love. His nickname is the Polish Hammer. He played with no remorse, nor the suaveness that NBA players should possess. He’s not even the type of player who you love if he’s on your team. He makes you herky in a jerky way. There was no telling what he might do to my skinny point guard Dennis Schroeder just out of the evil of his cold heart. He shot 53 percent against my Hawks in the 2015 conference semis. We won, but I still don’t trust the NBA for letting him grace the court. He’s the true Russian operative in our nation’s capital.

Marcin Gortat, you wanted to be loved the way I loved Pero Antic, but I could never love you. You could never pull off a one-legged running jumper for the andone. You couldn’t shoot, which means you couldn’t provide vital floor spacing like Pero did for the Hawks as they cruised to a franchise best 60 wins. You couldn’t pull up from deep after a defender hesitated to close out because there’s no way “that Macedonian dude” could have a clean stroke from deep. Pero had the best defensive rating for the Hawks that series. He was no question the most exciting player on the floor each time he stepped on. Pero Antic, you man of a man. I have never seen an uglier person do more beautiful things.

Mack—Kyle Anderson and Reggie Evans “Get on the line!” are the four worst words in basketball—but they’re usually more than just four words, if you also account for the inevitable expletives thrown in there by your power-hungry coach as he masculinizes himself through his whistle.

Wind sprints (tapping every line on the court in one run) are called wind sprints because they leave you, well, winded. There’s no basketball involved in any of these exer-

cises, and that certainly is no fun.

I’m sure Kyle Anderson, who was coached by the notoriously fiery Bob Hurley in high school, has run more than his fair share of sprints. But in his role as a quirky NBA journeyman for the Spurs, Hawks and now the Grizzlies, he certainly isn’t toeing that line anymore. Anderson, appropriately nicknamed “Slow Mo,” has redefined the rules of gravity, building an effective game around a shocking lack of athleticism. While NBA executives salivate over prospects with ungodly leaping ability and speed, Anderson just chills in the 7th or 8th spot on the bench, leveraging his herky-jerky movements to deceive defenders and float up improbable shots that only the most delusional player at your local YMCA would frustratingly hit. Anderson has a massive cranium with a massive brain inside, and it’s fun to revel over that one instinctive no-look pass he makes every now and then. He gives every mediocre basketball player hope, and gives their coaches another reason to just swallow their whistles.

Every great team needs an enforcer.

There’s got to be that one guy surviving off pure adrenaline, pumping his chest, owning real estate in the opposing team’s head and using all six of his fouls with purpose.

Many teams in need of said enforcer have employed Reggie Evans. Whether he’s a King, Clipper, Raptor, 76er, Nugget, SuperSonic or Net (his purest form), Evans always comes ready to play, armed with a menacing beard and headband to boot. He crashes the glass with reckless abandon, vacuums offensive boards (with two hands of course), and finishes dunks at the rim— the kind of plays that never end up on a highlight reel, but leave basketball nerds a warm, fuzzy feeling in their hearts. Evans is a basketball mercenary. And he always seems to be floating around, ready to sneak up behind you and steal your Lunchables.

He might even still be playing.

Van Beveren and Vassar volleyball heat up, goof off Continued from Volleyball on page 1 yon Hall court was his first without momma van Beveren in the stands. “My mom and dad are my biggest fans … So, it was funny that Endicott was my first game without my family there, which was so weird that that was the best I had ever played, ” mused van Beveren.

Van Beveren comes from a family with a pedigree of attending high-profile DI programs. Why, then, did he make the trip from Alpharetta to Poughkeepsie? “I think ...of all the teams I visited, I sensed the best energy from them. I got the feeling that they were already really connected and really es-

tablished, and that was super important for me in choosing where I want to go and how the team dynamic was. And Vassar’s education is pretty phenomenal.”

The Endicott game, where Vassar took down then-ranked No. 4 Endicott 3-0, was one of the games that convinced the national committee to award van Beveren national honors, alongside the United Volleyball Conference Rookie of the Week award.

This was his second consecutive Rookie of the Week honor, and his National honor was the first time a Vassar volleyball player had won the award since Matt Knigge ’18 received it back in 2017.

Men’s Volleyball is ranked no. 5 nationally. Courtesy of Vassarmvb via Instagram.

Interestingly enough, there are a handful of similarities between Knigge and van Beveren. They are both a towering 6’7”, play the position of middle blocker–the equivalent of a rim protector in basketball–and wear the jersey number 13. Knigge is one of the men’s volleyball program’s most distinguished alums, and a three-time All-American. The comparisons probably won’t end anytime soon, though van Beveren can certainly make a name for himself with his stats and accolades. During the week of Jan. 25th, during which he earned his National Player honors, he posted 20 kills, 1 ace and 6 blocks overall. His best overall performance so far came against then-ranked No. 8 UC Santa Cruz on Jan. 18th, in which he put up a career-high 13 kills and 11 blocks.

Despite his impressive statistics, van Beveren is quick to attribute much of his success to his team: “I recognize, too, that my ability is only so much. I wouldn’t be able to perform without my setter doing his job, and the passers not doing their jobs. I know it’s cheesy, but it really is a team award. It is a very collective mindset.” When asked to describe the squad, he summed his teammates up as “goofy, driven, and cohesive.”

If the team’s Instagram is any indication, van Beveren’s description is accurate. Their feed is mosh of silly and wholesome photos: team-bonding activities such as an Iron Chef competition and an escape room depict a close-knit, fun-loving community.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Goofy off the court, the Brewers shift into drive when they step onto it. The squad is currently 6-2, but holds a six-game win streak, including a remarkable 4-0 against ranked teams. Gary elaborated on the team’s determination through this streak, explaining over email, “This group found chemistry really early, and now we get to work hard and let it play out every day, which makes for some great memories.

We were able to suffer one of our worst set losses this weekend, reset and come out the next set and play great volleyball. There’s no team in the country that we can’t keep up with if we’re able to keep doing that. There will be so many lessons for me and for the team in the next three months, and that’s what we’re here for–growth, fun, competition.”

The Vassar men’s volleyball team has a tough schedule this week. Just yesterday, on Wednesday, Feb. 5, they played No. 1 SUNYNew Paltz. Their next home game is scheduled for this Friday, Feb 7 versus conference opponent Sage, followed by another home against No. 2 Springfield on Wednesday, Feb. 12. But van Beveren and the team are most looking forward to playing No. 4 NYU, an “undeclared rival.”

This team will definitely be one to watch, especially van Beveren. If the early season success is a sign of what is to come, Vassar has a star in the making. Just make sure someone tells him this time.

February 6, 2020

SPORTS

Page 15

Rooney Rule, narrow in purview, fails to diversify NFL Doug Cobb

Guest columnist

A

nother NFL season has come and gone. 31 teams which are not the Kansas City Chiefs are already reflecting on why they did not win the Super Bowl, a type of self searching which leads to more than a few coaches losing their jobs.

This year, five of the 32 NFL teams fired their head coach and hired replacements.

But among the five head coaches hired this month alone, there was a startling trend: None of them are Black, and only one of them is a person of color. Unfortunately, this trend is not new—people of color simply are not given as many head coaching and front office opportunities as their white counterparts.

Of the 32 NFL head coaches currently employed, only four are men of color (Mike Tomlin, Brian Flores, Anthony Lynn and Ron Rivera of the Steelers, Dolphins, Chargers and Redskins respectively). And looking to the front office, only 6.3 percent of GMs are people of color as of 2019.

Keep in mind, this is a league where over 70 percent of the players are people of color, the vast majority of them black.

Clearly, non-white men are not being given equal consideration to be head coaches and executives in the NFL. The NFL has been aware of its diversity issue for a long time. The Rooney Rule, which “mandates that an NFL team must interview at least one minority candidate for these jobs,” was implemented in 2003 (The Undefeated, “Rethinking the Rooney Rule,” 05.20.2016). The Rule is named for Dan Rooney, the former US ambassador to Ireland, owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers and head of the league’s diversity committee. Rooney was also a white man; I invite you to ponder the irony contained in that fact.

In any case, the purpose of the rule is to put qualified candidates of color on the radar of NFL teams who normally wouldn’t otherwise consider them. However, as the

numbers show, this solution falls short.

Since the Rooney rule was implemented in 2003, 113 NFL head coaches have been hired (not including interim coaches).

Only 23 of them have been people of color (The Undefeated, NFL Hires in the Rooney Rule Era, 01.10.2019). That is 20.4 percent in a league where almost three quarters of the players are people of color. So why has the Rooney Rule failed to launch meaningful change?

The Rooney Rule makes a lot of sense in spirit, but in practice it can essentially be ignored since it refers only to hiring procedure and not the hiring itself. Teams need only interview a single minority candidate, so many of them probably get their one interview out of the way quickly, check off the box and then start their “real” search.

When people think of racism in the workplace, they don’t immediately think of an industry in which people of color constitute the vast majority of the workforce and are paid millions of dollars a year. But yes, it exists even for the wealthy, famous athletes supposedly at the top of the social ladder Just because NFL players make a lot of money doesn’t mean the NFL is an equitable league.

NFL teams are run by their owners. The owner is the person who quite literally bought the team (or their parents or grandparents did). The NFL has existed since the 1930s. Unsurprisingly, most of the owners are old white men. They can and often do make every decision about their team — including who to hire and fire.

Players have very little power off of the field. The owners running the NFL view the players as a necessity to make the teams money, not as a voice in the league.

Sometimes owners admit to this dynamic themselves, like when Texans owner Robert McNair complained, “we can’t have the inmates running the prison” in reference to players kneeling for the National Anthem.

(Bleacher Report, Texans Owner Bob McNair on Protests: ‘We Can’t Have Inmates

Mike Tomlin has coached the Pittsburgh Steelers since 2007, leading the team to a Super Bowl ring in 2009. He is one of just four NFL coaches of color.

Courtesy of Brook Ward via Flickr.

Running the Prison, 10.27.2017) This is worsened by the fact that the NFL, unlike the NBA and MLB, does not guarantee the contracts of its players. This means that a player could sign a one-year “contract” for $5 million, but if they get hurt before the season starts, or they do something their bosses don’t like (for example, kneeling during the anthem) the teams can void those contracts and deny the player whatever salary remains (meaning if you only played one game that season, then they only have to pay you one-sixteenth of the contract).

The players are not granted this same freedom, however. If a player decides they don’t like working for a team, they can quit, but then they can’t sign with any other team until the length of their contract has passed (and they don’t collect any of that money while they are waiting to be eligible for another team).

This power structure has led many athletes to voice concerns. Richard Sherman, a cornerback for the San Francisco 49ers, called it “the old plantation mentality” (Washington Post).

I am not saying that the team owners have conspired to not hire any head

coaches or GMs of color; the issue here is the culture. The wealthy white people in charge essentially inherited organizations that had no people of color in positions of power, and have not actively attempted to increase the hiring of racial minorities. We all know that getting a job has everything to do with who you know.

The real problem in the NFL is that the people in charge of hiring are all part of an old boys club that is made almost entirely of white men.

Recently, a few ideas have circulated about how to rework the Rooney Rule. One is expanding it to include the hiring process for assistant coaches, who are often the ones tapped for head coaching positions.

Another idea is to publicly release the transcripts of all the interviews to ensure that the teams are taking all candidates’ interviews seriously.

I think both of these are good starts, but the reality is that if the front offices of NFL teams are going to reflect the demographics of the rest of the industry, it’s going to take more affirmative measures. We aren’t just talking about implementing a superficial rule, we are talking about changing the whole culture in the NFL.

with Alex Eisert

S

tat of the week: 1.047, the expected value of any Brewer field-goal attempt.

Each season since 2010-2011, threepoint attempts per game have gone up in the NBA, reaching an all-time high this year at 33.7 (Basketball Reference, “NBA League Averages - Per Game,” 02.02.2020).

Vassar’s women’s basketball team has mostly followed suit, increasing their threes attempted per game every season since 2014-2015, reaching a 10-year high this year at 20.5 attempts per game (Vassar College Athletics, “Women’s Basket-

Dani Douglas shoots from downtown.

Courtesy of Vassar Athletics.

ball Cumulative Statistics,” 02.02.2020).

Should the Brewers keep putting up treys like there’s no tomorrow?

Steph Curry is largely credited with jump-starting the three-point revolution in the NBA. He ranks third all-time in three-pointers made, and has played seven seasons fewer than the two players, Ray Allen and Reggie Miller, with more (Land of Basketball.com, “NBA All-Time 3-Pointers Made Leaders,” 02.02.2020).

He made NBA executives question their long-held offensive beliefs—the conventional wisdom that said driving into the paint for an easy bucket was the best way to score.

However, three-pointers are worth 50 percent more than a bucket in the paint.

Using the simple idea of expected value, a team that shoots 30 percent from beyond the arc and 40 percent from the field otherwise would average .303 = 0.90 points for every three attempted and .402 = 0.80 points for every two-pointer attempted.

Seemingly ignorant of this simple math, coaches and teams kept three-point attempts down since the three-point line was introduced in 1979, as low as 17 per

game as recently as the 2006-2007 season.

Is Vassar keeping up with the revolution, or do the Brewers need to shoot more threes? This year, they’ve shot a 34.9 percent clip from beyond the arc and 48 percent from the field otherwise. That puts their expected value for threes at .3493 = 1.047 and their expected value for two-pointers at .482 = .96. Indeed, it seems like they should continue to increase their three-point attempts. Yet, we have neglected to look at free throws in this experiment, and free throws are far more likely to occur on two-point possessions.

The Brewers are making an excellent 74.4 percent of their free throw attempts this season, their best in five years. While their expected value for one free throw, worth one point, is .7441 = .744, you get two attempts for being fouled while going for a two-pointer that you miss. The possible outcomes (with their corresponding probabilities) when the Brewers are given two free throw attempts are as follows: the probability that both are buckets is .744.744 = .55, that one goes in is .744.256 + .256.744 = .19 + .19 = .38, and that nei-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

ther shot goes in is .256.256 = .07. Thus, the expected value of two free throws is .55(2) + .38(1) + .07(0) = 1.48. The Brewers have been fouled in about one-sixth of their two-point attempts—they have made 809 attempts without being fouled and have been fouled on around 127 shots, for a total of 936 attempts. 127 is about one-sixth of 936. Roughly, we can get a new expected value for two-point attempts by assigning probabilities for each possible outcome, free throws or not. We get probabilities of .167 and .833, respectively, since the probabilities must add to one and the probability of free throws is about one-sixth (.167). This gives us an expected value of .833.96 + .1671.48, which comes to approximately 1.047…the exact same as the expected value for threes!

It’s optimal for all of your shots to have the same expected value; this means you don’t need to take any more of either kind of shot at the expense of the other. This in mind, the Brewers should just keep doing what they’re doing. Shooting optimally and with a record of 13-6, the rest of the Liberty League should watch out for our Brewers!

SPORTS

Page 16

February 6, 2020

Montverde basketball gives high school foes stealthy wedgies Rayan El Amine Reporter

I

n sports, we understand history through landmarks. Think Jordan in ’98, LeBron in ’16. Fans remember entire seasons by highlights, which go down, like Flintstone Vitamins in the place of the buffet meal that is a player’s whole career or a season’s entire duration.

The hype isn’t limited to the pros: elite High School basketball players are crowned as idols, heroes. For every Magic Johnson you have Lonzo Ball. For every Shawn Kemp you have Zion Williamson. For every Carmelo Anthony you have LaMelo Ball. The highschool basketball circus has become as much about celebrity as about success.

Lost in this fascination is a conversation is the fact that these elie players have teammates. We became so engrossed with LaMelo Ball’s halfcourt pull-ups and Zion’s oh-my-god-what-just-happened dunks and blocks that we forgot who they played for.

We were so deep in slumber that it took the Goliath from Central Florida to wake us up.

Montverde Academy, located about an hour outside of Orlando, Florida, has a roster that reads like the ESPN top prospects list; Cade Cunningham, Scottie Barnes, Moses Moody, Day’Ron Sharpe. These boys were kings in their city, each held up as the next phenom to come out of their neighborhood. But they all left home for the greener pastures of Montverde, Florida, population 1,600. 25 wins in a row later, they’re poised to be crowned the greatest collection of high school talent ever.

It’s important to understand that at the watered down high school level, 25 wins in a row is rarely enough to stir up conversa-

tions of greatness. But it’s how Montverde is collecting these wins — they make it look so easy — that has people talking. Watching the Eagles put nationally ranked teams in a chokehold is like watching an elementary school bully in recess. The ending is never in doubt, and you just feel bad for whoever’s getting clobbered.

Montverde’s most threatening opponent seemed to be the fourth-ranked IMG Academy, a fellow Floridia school known for producing NBA talent that just so happens to be the defending national champion.

But three wins later, the most recent one a 25-point drubbing at the Saint James Invitational, IMG was left atop the proverbial flagpole, hung by its underwear.

The closest game Montverde has played so far was an intersquad scrimmage. Let me put that in perspective. This team has been so good that the closest game they’ve played wasn’t even against anybody. It was between themselves.

At the head of this venomous snake is Cade Cunningham. The wiry, 6’7 point guard from Arlington, Texas leads this team in nearly every statistical category and is already the projected first pick in the 2021 NBA Draft. He’s a star in every way except one: he’s humble.

Often mellow on the court, Cunningham’s celebrity is a far-cry from the boastful antics that have come to be associated with most five-star recruits. His interviews are few and far between, and his social media presence is grounded when compared to the TikToks and Twitch Streams of high level recruits like RJ Hampton and LaMelo Ball.

When Cunningham goes pro, his team-

“Founder’s Day Themes?”

ACROSS 1. beaver’s residence 4. ermines 10. largest mountain range 13. locus, pl 14. major chicken company 15. jurisdiction of the Pope 16. converse of base 17. the majors of tarot 18. man with no heart 19. crying, flower crowns, white dresses 21. deoxyribonucleic acid 23. German bombing campaign 24. to rummage 27. autocorrects to sex 28. a stupid, clumsy person 31. broccoli 32. to entrench or fix deeply into 34. tiny annoying fly 35. government systems comprised of unelected officials 38. a mother’s rebuke 39. nutritional supplement

Answer to last week’s puzzle

mate Scottie Barnes probably won’t be far behind. Standing 6’8 with arms that seem to go on for days, Barnes’ transfer from rival Floridian powerhouse The University School was heavily criticized. It’s become quite clear, however, that Barnes’ decision to sacrifice personal accomplishments to become part of a historic team has not stopped his individual talent from continuings to shine.

What Barnes lacks in traditional perimeter skills, he more than makes up for with a motor and swagger that leaves foes reeling.

He’s a showman, well-known and well-hated by opponents for staring them down or screaming after a particularly vicious dunk or rejection. If Cunningham is the malicious mind of the bully, Barnes is its voice. Leaving dutiful reminders for every poor victim that they’ll be back to take their lunch money again and again and again.

His length and athleticism allows Montverde to constantly switch ball screens and put hard pressure on opposing ball handlers, making life easier for the already dominant Day’Ron Sharpe. Sharpe, the hands of the Montverde bully (and its starting center), continues to garner significant attention and accolades as a dominant shot-blocker, rebounder and finisher around the rim.

The final piece of this puzzle, though, might still be its most underrated. Despite Sharpe’s command of the paint, Montverde’s third most important player after Cunningham and Barnes is Moses Moody, a sharpshooting guard headed to Arkansas.

During Montverde’s second trouncing of IMG at the Hoophall Classic, it wasn’t Cunningham or Barnes or Sharpe that led

the team in scoring. Rather, it was Moody, whose ability to come off screens and find daylight through his ball-handling might be unmatched in America.

Paul Biancardi, ESPN’s national recruiting analyst, described Moody’s jumper as “one of the purest in the high-school game.”

That might be an understatement. His shooting form seems to flow like water, effortlessly transferring the ball from fingertip to basket. While Moody’s personality seems closer to a quiet Cunningham than a Barnes, his effort, both on defense and on the glass might be second to none on this Montverde team. To put it simply, Moody is smooth. Cunningham is the mind, Barnes is the voice and Sharpe is the hands of this playground terror, Moody, then, is our bully’s silk underwear.

Montverde is the latest in a line of high school basketball powerhouses that have dominated the 21st century. In 2003 it was LeBron leading St. Vincent St. Mary to a 20 point beatdown of then-top ranked Oak Hill Academy. In 2006 it was Mike Conley and Greg Oden reeling off 45 straight victories against the best Indiana had to offer, and in 2016 it was Chino Hills turning everything we knew about basketball on its head.

It’s no exaggeration to say that Montverde’s resume seems destined to be unmatched, but the road to becoming the greatest team of all time still runs through the GEICO High School National Tournament, and it is on that court where Cunningham and company can sit upon the throne they so desperately crave.

Until then, opposing teams should be very afraid of the bully lurking down in Central Florida.

The Miscellany Crossword

40. a bauble or knickknack 42. guided or escorted 43. sheep’s word 46. safe places 47. medical term for swelling 49. a dedicated poem 50. anesthetized with ether 54. measure of white blood cells in blood, abbr 56. away from the right direction 58. dial noise 59. ocean 60. to contribute for free 61. Jellicle Founder’s Day 62. politics, abbr 63. we are all squares 64. unit of 60 minutes, abbr

DOWN 1. calm 2. 0-7 on the pH scale 3. among, in the middle 4. email trash 5. word 6. killer whale 7. sixth month of Jewish calendar 8. large wine cask 9. an old and experienced sailor 10. atomic number 85 11. garland of flowers 12. ink pencil 13. baby sheep 20. layer with hole 22. head, cranium, noodle 24. to title again 25. open areas of grassy land 26. NY time zone 29. syrupy sweeteners 30. 31 across but with seeds

by Frank

31. extensively popular online 32. removed wrinkles with heat 33. midwestern SAT 35. popular vacation destination in French Polynesia 36. of one voice 37. apple autumnal beverage 38. to the “” degree 41. what one does to dough 43. what Harry shoves down poisoned Ron’s throat

44. a catkin 45. ruler of the Underworld 48. ding dong prank 50. active volcano in Sicily 51. bear, parent, rat 52. intense dislike 53. what one uses for 15 across 54. small venomous Egyptian snake 55. prefix meaning contemporary or revival 57. -CAHTOA