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The Miscellany News

Volume CXLVII | Issue 15

February 26, 2015

Since 1866 | miscellanynews.org

Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY

Funny while female: Williams fuses identity politics, humor Marie Solis and Julia Cunningham Contributing Editor& Assistant Features Editor

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Sam Pianello/The Miscellany News

t’s been a tough couple of weeks for comedian, Jessica Williams. After Jon Stewart announced his exit from “The Daily Show,” all eyes turned to the 25-year-old.

She’s withstood a flurry of tweets, a reporter demanding that she “lean in” and pressure to rise up from her position as correspondent to host of “The Daily Show.” She admitted all of the attention has been wearing on her, but standing at six feet tall in the front of the Chapel last Friday, Feb. 20, there was nothing small about Williams.

“We’re going to get real tonight,” said Williams, after telling the audience about her drive from Brooklyn (accompanied by the “Hercules” soundtrack), her upbringing in a Black Christian community and how she believes Vassar’s Chapel is haunted. “You

know how I know a place has ghosts?

Its WiFi is spotty.”

Throughout the night, Williams mixed the comedic with the serious, filling the room with laughter as well as thoughtful ruminations on what it means to be a woman, a woman of color and a woman of color in comedy.

“Jessica Williams isn’t afraid to bring her narratives in the spaces that typically silence them, and this is so prevalent in what she brings to ‘The Daily Show.’ The fact that her work in ‘The Daily Show’ is meant to unsettle, rather than satisfy, the audience is so important,” said Jocelyn Hassel ’16, a member of Indecent Exposure who opened for Williams.

She added, “There are many painful things that Jessica produces discourse on; pain through comedy is an art form, and it is not an easy task. It is serious, See WILLIAMS on page 6

On Friday, Feb. 20, Jessica Williams came to speak to a packed Chapel. After two opening acts from Indecent Exposure comedians Jocelyn Hassel ’16 and Caitlan Moore ’16, Williams spoke about how identity politics inform her humor.

After months, Safety Faculty relationships re-evaluated and Security unionizes T Rhys Johnson News Editor

Emily Hoffman Reporter

A

fter two failed attempts in the past 15 years, Vassar’s Safety and Security officers have formed a union and have ratified a contract. The officers have made several attempts to organize a comprehensive union in the past but haven’t been successful. In May 2014, however, organizing officers were certified by the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) to be represented by the Bard College Safety and Security Officers Union, which changed its name to

the Hudson Valley Safety and Security Officers Union in July 2014. After this step, negotiations for a contract began in September 2014 and the union ratified a tentative agreement on Thursday, Feb. 5, 2015. The union was initially formed by security officer Zakiyyah Salahuddin, who is now Chair of the union alongside Vice Chair Dan Elliot and Chief Steward Tim Evans.

Until this point, the Safety and Security department was the only department without a union.

See UNION on page 4

he College has recently drafted a new policy forbidding consensual sexual and romantic relationships between students and faculty members. The subject is currently undergoing discussion and revision by the Faculty Policy and Conference Committee (FPCC) and is awaiting further developments.

Currently, the Faculty Handbook states, “The College strenuously discourages romantic or sexual relationships between faculty members and students, administrators and students, and staff members

and students…A faculty member, administrator, or staff member who is involved in a romantic or sexual relationship with any student must disclose its existence to his or her department chair, dean or supervisor and must cooperate fully in making alternative arrangements for the supervision, evaluation, teaching, grading or advising of the student.”

This policy would, however, firmly ban all relationships between students and faculty. Violations of the potential change would be investigated by the Office of Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action (EOAA), during which time alterna-

tive arrangements would be made for the future concerning issues of teaching, grading and advising.

Director of the Office of EOAA Julian Williams remarked, “The reason that this policy is in my office’s area is because it has to do with our Title IX-related policy, because even in these consensual relationships there’s always questions on whether or not there’s any sexual harassment involved, whether or not their relationship is truly consensual.”

He went on to say, “What we try to be is a resource for the campus, but also a resource for FPCC as they See FACULTY on page 3

Performance series complicates ‘hometown’ Teams step up to Polar T Plunge Emma Rosenthal Arts Editor

Inside this issue

7

Professors open the doors to FEATURES their own homes

Erik Quinson and Zach Rippe

Assistant Sports Editor and Sports Editor

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Sam Pianello/The Miscellany News

he number one question freshmen get asked during their first week at Vassar is “Where are you from?” Although this seems like a simple answer for first years, the meaning of hometown for many seniors changes after four years at college.

The complexity of this question is exactly what curator of the “Dis/Locating Home/Towns” series Kevin Ritter ’15, who is an urban studies and English double major, had in mind when creating his three-day-long performance series. Ritter described his project as a multitude of genres and mediums of art. He wrote in an emailed statement, “‘Dis/Locating Home/Towns’ is a library, performance series, reading series, participatory art installation, community dialogue, and hangout session that engages with the vast array of hometowns on Vassar’s campus and in the world.”

Ritter continued, “The event tries to resist easy categorization; to acknowledge the vast array of ways that people construct ideas of home, family, and memory; to complicate the viewer’s understanding of the ways that memory, geography, and sheer will can combine to create a sense of ‘home’ or the ‘hometown.’”

A member of Britomartis and a performer in “Dis/Locating Home/Towns,” Andrea Negrete ’15 wrote about her exSee HOMETOWN on page 16

Andrea Negrete ‘15 explores the transformation of her view of her “hometown” throughout her years at Vassar. Negrete worked with Kevin Ritter ‘15, the creator of the event to workshop and perfect her piece.

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One tired Bacio’s pizza delivery man HUMOR spills all

15 ARTS

ine souls braved the elements last Saturday at the 17th annual Fishkill Polar Plunge. Freshman Carolina Alvarez, junior Lucy Brainerd, sophomore Rory Chipman, junior Elias Kim, junior Sebastien Lasseur, freshman Amanda McFarland, junior Angela Mentel, junior Aimee Dubois and senior Justin Mitchell took part in the festivities.

Plunges similar to the one in Fishkill are held in areas around the world for various reasons. In Canada, these “plunges” or “dips” are held on New Year’s Day to welcome in the new year. In the Netherlands and England, the traditions of “Nieuwjaarsduik” and the “Loony Dook” respectively occur on New Year’s Day as well. England’s “Loony Dook” is usually preceded by a parade of people dressed as “loonies” who often wear their costumes into the water. In the U.S., the dates are more flexible, yet the plunge is typically held to raise money for a specific cause.

The annual event in Fishkill is open to all members of the Hudson Valley. It attracts many local businesses: Poughkeepsie’s Mahoney’s Pub, Beacon’s police force, as well See FRIGID on page 18

Mandolins meet banjos in Kohno’s musical mélange

The Miscellany News

Page 2

February 26, 2015

Editor-in-Chief Palak Patel

Before finals stress, Lily travels Europe Lily Elbaum

Senior Editor Noble Ingram

Contributing Editors

JYA Blogger

Bethan Johnson Meaghan Hughes Marie Solis

I

courtesy of Lily Elbaum

t’s almost the end of February and I don’t where the time is going. At the University of Edinburgh, I’m lucky because my classes end on April 3rd—how crazy is that? But it also means I have a ton of papers and presentations to do in a very short amount of time. I think that’s part of the reason we have a week off, for no particular reason, in the middle of February. Like the calm before the storm. It’s called Innovative Learning Week, and lots of societies and schools offer fun little week-long courses you can take to learn something new while all regular classes are suspended. But students being students, most people do not use the time off to learn things. That’s what classes are for. So, like most of my peers, I took off on a week-long trip. I have a friend who went to Chamonix, another to Barcelona, and another to Germany. The main idea is getting out of Scotland in winter.

I, clearly not thinking this decision through very well, decided to go to Ireland.

Not that going to Ireland in itself was a bad idea, but going in February was not the best choice. Maybe. Well, it definitely wasn’t if I was hoping to experience warmer weather than I’d been getting in Edinburgh. Because if I was hoping those nice Gulf Stream currents were going to keep me toasty warm, then I was wrong. Dead wrong. The thing about northern Europe in February is that it just doesn’t get warm. It just doesn’t. That’s not how seasons work.

I arrived in Dublin bright and early on Monday morning and almost immediately

panicked after realizing that the bus I was supposed to be taking to Limerick didn’t exist. I asked bus drivers, people in tourist shops, even a nice-looking police officer.

No one had heard of the bus company, the route number, and the bus stop it supposedly stopped at did not have the route listed.

Great. I had to be in Tralee by six or I was not getting the last bus to Dingle, my final destination. So I whipped out my phone, thanked

anybody up there who was listening that my data worked in Ireland, and frantically Googled how I was going to be able to get to Tralee. With seven minutes to spare I found a bus to Cork which had a connection to a bus to Tralee, bought a ticket, and I was on my way. Rome2Rio to the rescue again.

To read more about Lily’s travels, visit farandaway.miscellanynews.org.

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Vassar’s student newspaper of note since 1886. miscellanynews.org MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

LETTERS POLICY The Miscellany News is Vassar College’s weekly open forum for discussion of campus, local and national issues, and welcomes letters and opinions submissions from all readers.

Letters to the Editor should not exceed 350 words, and they usually respond to a particular item or debate from the previous week’s issue. Opinions articles are longer pieces, up to 800 words, and take the form of a longer column. No letter or opinions article may be printed anonymously. If you are interested in contributing, e-mail misc@vassar.edu.

February 26, 2015

NEWS

Page 3

New policy moves to ban student-faculty relationships FACULTY continued from page 1

dent Association (VSA) Executive Board, many students have accused the College of following in the footsteps of other institutions that have recently enacted policies forbidding student-faculty relationships, such as Harvard University and Stanford University.

Professor of Greek and Roman Studies and Chair of the FPCC Bert Lott commented, in an emailed statement, “The interest reached the point that FPCC felt it needed to explore options last semester. This was certainly not a response to others schools considering or taking similar actions. The fact that other schools are considering the same issues, however, points to a desire generally across higher education to consider carefully the professional and ethical responsibilities of faculty members.”

Some students have labeled the policy change paternalistic and unfair, arguing that students and faculty members, as consenting adults, should have the right to pursue romantic and sexual relationships with whomever they choose.

“I take issue with the rhetoric used in the draft policy. While I agree that relationships with members of the faculty and members of the student body are indeed cause for concern regarding the ‘validity of consent,’ as the policy states, I do not believe that inherently students cannot consent to relationships with professors,” wrote VSA Vice President for Finance Max Moran ’16 in an emailed statement. “Individuals over the age of 18 can consent to sexual or romantic relationships with other individuals over the age of 18.”

“That [the policy comes off as paternalistic] is a real counterargument there,” Williams remarked.

“We’re trying to legislate relationships between adults, yes, but also with that comes a lot of the different power differentials between faculty members and students on campus and also a real difficulty in terms of trying to investigate these sorts of relationships.”

Other students have cited the College’s decision to withhold the information until last week as an example of a fundamental lack of student voice in the College’s administrative changes that affect

Jewish scholar re-examines Holocaust survivor videos Rhys Johnson News Editor On Wednesday, Feb. 18, Professor and Chair of Jewish Studies at Rutgers University Jeffrey Shandler delivered the annual Dr. Maurice Sitomer Lecture, entitled “Seeing As Believing: Watching Videotaped Interviews with Holocaust Survivors,” in Taylor Hall.

Shandler, one of the leading experts on Jewish studies, Holocaust remembrance and cultural ethnology, is the author of such books as “Anne Frank Unbound: Media, Imagination, Memory,” “Awakening Lives: Autobiographies of Jewish Youth in Poland before the Holocaust” and most notably, “Shtetl: A Vernacular Intellectual History.”

In the lecture, which was sponsored by the Jewish Studies Department, Shandler shared his research of the video recordings of Holocaust survivors and witnesses and explained how an examination of the details of these historical testimonies can provide a more intimate understanding of their stories and experiences.

Shandler remarked, “What I’ve been doing is looking through the [University of Southern California] Shoah Foundation’s Visual History Archive, which contains over 51,000 videotaped interviews of survivors and witnesses of the Holocaust, making it the world’s largest collection– longest by a long shot.”

The archive at the University of Southern California Shoah Foundation was created in the mid-1990s at the initiative of filmmaker Steven Spielberg, who had been researching and talking to many Holocaust survivors and witnesses in preparation for his 1993 feature film “Schindler’s List.” Over the course of the last ten years, the archive has digitized their holdings and make them available online for those with a commitment to, or a curiosity for, Holocaust remembrance.

“I’ve studied these videos for multiple reasons. First, as part of my ongoing interest in works of Holocaust remembrance, and looking at what these interviews reveal about how sur-

vivors recall this past and examining the agendas behind the documenting of their recollections. Also, as a project of digital humanities, I’m interested in how visual history art relies on digital media to preserve, to inventory, to index and to disseminate these holdings, and then how these media in turn shape the ways that this extensive resource can be used.”

The lecture was well-received by community members who were pleased to witness not only Shandler’s mastery of his subject, but the nuanced approach he took in demonstrating it.

Professor of English and Director of Jewish Studies Peter Antelyes commented in an emailed statement, “Ordinarily, Holocaust interviews are viewed through the lens of documentary evidence; as Professor Shandler’s work reveals, though, that lens is also the lens of media, and so we need to examine the role played by that media in constituting and conveying those evidentiary (and humanly moving) events.”

Abigail Johnson ’17, like many others, echoed this sentiment. “[Shandler] offered insight into a part of this history that I’ve never really considered,” she wrote, in an emailed statement.

“He also told us about objects that were documented by video that survivors carried with them during the time period of Holocaust.”

She continued, “One particular survivor had a rosary which had saved his life, as having the rosary allowed him to hid his Judaism from the Nazis and then there was a discussion about what that might mean to him, to us, to history that it was a religious object, but not a Jewish object, that saved his life.” “[F]or viewers of these videos, the act of seeing is tied to acts of believing, whether it’s in a human system of justice or in divine authority,” Shandler remarked. “The signifying power of these exceptional moments redounds onto the general value of watching Holocaust survivors tell their stories. Like a scarred limb or a rosary, these people too may well look ordinary until we watch them tell their extraordinary stories.”

Sam Pianello/The Miscellany News

go about drafting this policy. We’re trying to give them some things to think about because it would be our office that would be, upon being alerted by a member of the community, the one to come in to investigate and make a determination on whether or not there has been a policy violation by a faculty member involved in one of these situations.”

If the change goes through, when a faculty member is determined to have committed a violation of the policy upon investigation by the EOAA Office, they may become subject to disciplinary action according to the Dean of the Faculty Office’s assignment.

Punishments may include a warning, temporary leave without pay and termination of employment, the last of which would require the approval of the Office of the President. The policy will, however, grant exceptions in the case of spouses or domestic partners of faculty members enrolling as students.

The vagueness of potential disciplinary actions as well as the lack of certainty as to a standard protocol for handling violations of the proposed policy has aroused confusion in many as to the what the severity of such future determinations would be.

Williams commented, “What we want to have is the ability to be flexible, in all situations. We want to be able to respond appropriately, swiftly and strongly, but that may not always equal somebody being fired. I think what a good policy is able to do is to really craft the flexibility that’s necessary instead of just having a blanket response.

You’re going to need to look at the nuances of each particular situation when you’re looking at possible follow-ups.”

The potential policy change had been the subject of casual administrative discussions for over a year, although serious consideration of such a move began last semester at various meetings of the FPCC. Because the existence of the policy draft was unknown to the student body until Wednesday, Feb. 18, when it was disclosed to the Vassar Stu-

The Faculty Policy and Conference Committee has been working on a policy that will forbid consensual sexual and romantic relationships between students and faculty members. students on campus.

“The student government at Vassar College has lost its seat at the table,” Moran said. “Any issue that effects the student body, especially those regarding consent, given how important such a question is, should have a chance for formal student input. The voices of students aren’t being disregarded, they are not being sought out.”

Many of those involved with drafting the policy, however, have maintained that, because the policy change falls under the authority of the Dean of the Faculty and mainly concerns how the College intends to approach the issue of student-faculty relations with regard to their employees in the future, the issue is an administrative one and has been considered accordingly.

“This is a draft policy that addresses the professional roles and responsibilities of faculty and is properly debated by the faculty,” Lott said. “While I understand that students are naturally interested in the policy (for this reason it was shared with the

leadership of the VSA), it is an employment policy of the faculty that properly belongs as a discussion among the faculty themselves.”

He continued, “This policy is being developed by a faculty committee; it is being discussed by the faculty as a whole; it will be voted up or down by the faculty as a whole. In this context, the process has not been top down, in my opinion.”

The FPCC and the Office of EOAA have also reassured community members that the policy change is still a work in progress and that there will be ample time for the inclusion of student and non-administrative voices.

Williams remarked, “[Consideration of the policy change] is very much in progress in the faculty, but they’re still at the drafting stages and are still at the stages where they want to hear from students, faculty members and community members on all sides of the issue to really get their thoughts.

This is still very much in the beginning stages of trying to figure out what will work for Vassar.”

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NEWS

Page 4

February 26, 2015

Tension between security officers’ union and College UNION continued from page 1

the security officers’ unionization drive because we support workers at Vassar who are building power to fight back against mistreatment and exploitation at the hands of management and supervisors,” they said.

The student continued, “Officers were sick and tired of getting abused by management, and they decided to do something about it.”

The student from SLD went on to discuss the most rewarding and exciting aspects of the process. They explained, “One of the things that really revealed itself throughout that whole process is the need for the union to take an active stance against racism and racial profiling.”

The student continued, “There’s a whole lot of work that still needs to be done for the union to really take that active stance, but one of the most exciting things that happened during the contract fight was the union forcing the College to agree to provide anti-racism trainings to the officers.”

The release of the Margolis Healy report regarding the prevalence of racial profiling on campus by Vassar security sparked immense protest and heated debate on campus earlier this year, and its effects reverberated within the Safety and Security Department of the College.

The aforementioned student from SLD elaborated on friction between the Administration and the department. “The Administration hadn’t held a training in almost five years, and despite all the promises they made after the racial profiling incident in front of the library last spring, the Administration was still refusing to guarantee in writing that they would start that practice,” they said.

The student continued, “It wasn’t until union leadership spoke out publicly and essentially forced the Administration that they agreed to a contract clause guaranteeing it. It was exciting to see how the union could actually hold the Administration accountable to promises that they didn’t want to keep.”

Looking toward the future, the student remarked, “Even now, [Associate Director of the Department of Safety and Security] Kim Squillace just fired a newly hired officer basically in retaliation for sticking up for himself against racism he encountered within the department.

Associate V.P. of Human Resources Ruth Spen-

cer countered this claim, writing in an emailed statement, “I can assure you that probationary removals are for performance issues only. It is true that the union has filed a grievance and there will be a grievance meeting on the matter. The union contract addresses this topic.”

V.P. For Finance and Administration echoed Spencer’s skepticism. As Walton reported, “If the security officer did feel that he was the subject of retaliation, then a complaint should be opened and investigated by the EEO Office of the College responsible for investigating such claims, particularly involving claims of racism.”

The student went on to say, “The Administration put together this new hiring committee to hire more conscious guards, but Kim is firing the people they hire. The union is trying to get him reinstated, and I think that’s another kind of place where the union can make the Vassar community stronger by holding management accountable while it improves the lives of its members by win-

in ensuring the recovery of those students affected” (Rolling Stone, “Wesleyan Students Hospitalized Following ‘Bad Batch’ of Molly,” 02.23.15).

In addressing the severity of the incident, Roth requested that any student who knows the distributors turn them in. He said, “If you are aware of people distributing these substances, please let someone know before more people are hurt...Take a stand to protect your fellow students” (CNN, “11 at Wesleyan University hospitalized after taking Molly,” 02.23.15).

As of Monday, Feb. 23, four of the students admitted over the weekend after ingesting the Molly remain hospitalized. Two of them are in serious condition, and the other two are in critical condition.

his passing brought to the surface,” he said.

Holder continued, “We, as a nation, must take concrete steps to ensure that such incidents do not occur in the future.”

The Justice Department asserted that it had interviewed 75 witnesses and reviewed all materials gathered by the State of Florida. They also examined evidence relating to Zimmerman’s encounters with law enforcement following his acquittal. Nothing that the department gathered, however, was enough to prove that George Zimmerman, who identifies as Latino, killed Trayvon Martin because of Martin’s race (The New York Times, “Justice Dept. Won’t Charge George Zimmerman in Trayvon Martin Killing,” 02.24.15).

Among the many responses to this government decision came words from Martin’s family. In a released statement, Martin’s family said, “We remain poised to do everything in our power to help eradicate senseless violence in our communities, because we don’t want any other parent to experience the unexplainable loss we have endured.”

They went on, saying, “We will never, ever forget what happened to our son, Trayvon, and will honor his memory by working tirelessly to make the world a better place.”

Since his acquittal, Zimmerman has had a number of police altercations. In November 2013, police charged him with domestic violence after he allegedly threatened his girlfriend with a shotgun and destroyed her possessions. Last month, police arrested him and charged him with assault against an ex-girlfriend.

In all cases, the charges were later dropped (Al Jazeera America, “Zimmerman will not face civil rights charges in Trayvon Martin killing,” 02.24.15).

ning protection and material gains. There’s still a lot of work to be done, but that’s the kind of thing I’m hoping to see more of in the future.”

Walton, who spoke on behalf of the Administration, later remarked, “I anticipate an initial formative relationship between the Administration and the union which will take time to develop since this is a first contract with this union and these union representatives. The other unions have been present on campus as early as the late 1960’s and it takes time for things to settle into a normal routine. Both the Administration and the union leadership are optimistic of the future.”

He went on, concluding, “The Administration is very pleased to have a contract and will do our best to implement this contract fairly and equitably. We will continue to try to work through issues as they arise with the union. The Administration is very focused in the search for a new Director. That effort is being led by the Dean of the College Chris Roellke.”

Emily Lavieri-Scull/The Miscellany News

Elliot spoke about the motivation behind forming the union and the feelings among the College’s security workers. “We wanted to be treated fairly and the Administration was ignoring requests for staffing, we felt we weren’t being respected and wanted to form something so we [demanded] a recourse,” he said.

Although the contract has not yet been made public, some of the terms of the four-year contract include a 13.5-percent increase rate in salary within the next four years and a freeze in the contribution rate toward healthcare.

The contract also discussed two of the most important concerns that the security officers had: staffing and training. There are currently 16 fulltime officers, four part-time officers and four sergeants employed. In 2009, the College had 26 full time officers.

According to Vice President for Finance and Administration Bob Walton, there were four retirees and three non-retiree separations during 2014, causing the department to be short-staffed.

The department is now planning on hiring two more officers.

Despite what some might think are large numbers for security workers, the workers don’t always feel as if they have enough people to get their jobs done. Elliot remarked on the problem with understaffing. He reflected, “It not only puts our lives in jeopardy but the students as well.”

Along with staffing, the union has facilitated conversations with the Administration regarding issues related to scheduling.

Scheduling will now be more flexible and assigned by seniority in a “pick and post” process in which the most senior officers will be able to pick their shifts first.

The Administration has also agreed to provide diversity and inclusion training for all officers, a service that has come to the forefront of conversations on campus about racial profiling and that the officers had requested in the past.

Elliot was adamant that the great work that Vassar’s Student Labor Dialogue (SLD) has helped to organize and promote the union. One student from the SLD spoke about the group’s interest in getting involved. “We got involved in

After years of talk, members of the Safety and Security Department have formed a union. The need for a better relationship between them and the Administration, however, is becoming ever-clearer.

Outside the Bubble ‘Bad batch’ of Molly plagues Wesleyan University, hospitalizes 12 A total of 12 people from Wesleyan University—10 students and two guests—were hospitalized over this past weekend. Of the students, 11 were admitted after taking a “bad batch” of Molly.

Wesleyan University President Michael S. Roth released a statement urging members of the Wesleyan community to avoid taking substances that could put their lives in danger, writing, “One mistake can change your life forever” (CNN, “11 at Wesleyan University hospitalized after taking Molly,” 02.23.15).

The intended use of Molly, which is the “pure” powder form of the psychoactive drug MDMA, is to bring the user into a state of euphoria. When under the influence of MDMA, one experiences an accelerated heart rate and heightened blood pressure due to the increased serotonin transmitted to the brain.

Discussions surrounding Molly usage on college campus had been relatively low, because according to studies only 2.5 percent of college students used ecstasy (the pill form of MDMA) on a monthly basis in 2000, and that number dropped to 0.6 percent in 2006; however, college campuses have been talking more about the risky effects of Molly usage after a spike in the number of student deaths brought about by overdose in 2013 (The Washington Post, “A dozen hospitalized after apparently overdosing on Molly at Wesleyan University,” 02.23.15).

Furthermore, when students consume Molly, they are typically unaware of other substances with which the drug could be laced by the distributor, according to Chief of Toxicology at Hartford Hospital Dr. Mark Neavyn. He stated, “When we see these people in the emergency department and they claim to have taken Molly, we don’t pay attention to that word anymore.

It’s so commonly not MDMA, we just start from square one and say it’s some sort of drug abuse” (ABC News, “Wesleyan Presidents to Students: Turn in the Drug Dealers,” 02.23.15).

According to Chief of the Middletown Police Department William McKenna, acquiring information on the batch of Molly is top priority for the investigations.

McKenna commented, “This information is critical

— Chris Gonzalez ’15 U.S. Justice Department closes Trayvon Martin investigation Just short of the three-year anniversary of the killing of teenager Trayvon Martin, the United States Justice Department has closed its investigation into whether or not Martin’s killer, George Zimmerman, was committing a hate crime. Three law enforcement officials told The Washington Post that Zimmerman was not expected to face charges.

The Department began its investigation shortly after the national furor that arose following the criminal case of Zimmerman. In that case, Zimmerman was acquitted of murder charges in July 2013 after he claimed self-defense. The case brought to light the controversial “Stand Your Ground” policy enacted by the state of Florida. Despite national outrage, the government announced on Tuesday that there was insufficient evidence to convict Zimmerman of a hate crime (The Washington Post, “George Zimmerman won’t face civil rights charges in Trayvon Martin’s death,” 02.24.15).

Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. explained some of the reasoning behind the decision. “Though a comprehensive investigation found that the high standard for a federal hate crime prosecution cannot be met under the circumstances here, this young man’s premature death necessitates that we continue the dialogue and be unafraid of confronting the issues and tensions

Obama vetoes Keystone XL pipeline bill On Tuesday, Feb. 24, President Obama vetoed legislation that would open the door for the Keystone XL oil pipeline. The bill was only on his desk for a few hours before it was struck down.

Without much fanfare or discussion, Obama vetoed legislation to authorize construction of a 1,179-mile pipeline that would carry 800,000 barrels of heavy petroleum a day from oil sands in Alberta, Canada to

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

refineries along the Gulf Coast.

In exercising veto power for only the third time since his election in 2008, Obama accused lawmakers of seeking to circumvent the administration’s approval process for the pipeline by cutting short consideration of important issues for the country.

Some saw Obama’s recent action as evidence of a likely increase in veto actions in the future. While in the past, Obama has had the support of a Democratic-controlled senate, that is not longer the case.

“He’s looking at this as showing he still can be king of the hill, because we don’t have the votes to override,” Republican Sen. Jim Inhofe of Oklahoma, a vocal opponent of Obama’s climate change agenda, said in an interview. “If he vetoed this, he’s going to veto many others that are out there” (Al Jazeera America, “Defying GOP, Obama vetoes Keystone XL pipeline bill,” 02.24.15).

In his State of the Union address last month, Mr. Obama urged lawmakers to move past the pipeline debate, calling for passage of a comprehensive infrastructure plan that would go far beyond the pipeline and address issues that concerned many supporters of the pipeline. “Let’s set our sights higher than a single oil pipeline,” he said (The New York Times, “Obama Vetoes Bill Pushing Pipeline Approval,” 02.24.15).

“The presidential power to veto legislation is one I take seriously,” Obama said in a brief notice delivered to the Senate. “But I also take seriously my responsibility to the American people” (Al Jazeera America).

Democratic Rep. Steve Israel of New York, said the White House and congressional Democrats are working under new circumstances in which they must offer compelling reasons why the president is invoking this veto power more often.

“You don’t want him to be the president of no. You do want him to be the president of the middle class,” Israel said in a phone interview. “Every veto is a reminder to the American people that he’s sticking up for them, while the Republicans are trying to stick it to them” (The Washington Post, “Obama’s Keystone veto is only his third in six years. It won’t be his last,” 02.24.15).

— Noble Ingram ’16

February 26, 2015

FEATURES

Page 5

For the Vassar student, unforgiving lessons in modern love T

he only two dating apps I have ever used—Tinder and Friendsy—can be found under the “games” category on my phone. Most of the time, this is how my friends and I treat them. When the infinite possibilities of the Internet have become exhausted, we resort to the infinite amusement dating apps offer. Still, after a while, you become numb to the photos of men posing with tigers, rifles, recently-caught fish and their fathers (leaving no mystery as to what they themselves will look like in 20 years). But there’s nothing that will shatter a swiping stupor more than encountering a classmate on Tinder. This week, I asked students what they do when faced with this situation that can often inspire existential panic. Turning to Twitter, I asked if anyone was willing to come forward and share their greatest successes and misadventures, terrors and triumphs. “The only dating app we had when I was at #Vassar was unlimited keg beer for 50¢ at dorm parties.

And there were many successes!” Clay Underwood ’77 tweeted at me. Perhaps if Vassar didn’t have a keg ban, we’d all have more shots at romance. —Marie Solis, Contributing Editor

The kids are all right

A

few days ago, Nathan Bazan ’15 rolled over in bed at 7:30 a.m. He reached for his phone and groggily started swiping through Tinder, delaying getting up and starting the day. Sifting through a sea of strangers’ faces, he was suddenly confronted with a familiar one: his ex-girlfriend. Fumbling with his phone, Bazan accidentally swiped right.

“I didn’t think much of it because I was sure she wouldn’t swipe right anyway, so it wouldn’t be an issue. I moved on from Tinder and relaxed under my covers for a few minutes when I got a panicky message from my ex,” Bazan recalled.

Bazan’s ex-girlfriend had just downloaded the dating app the night before, and wasn’t clear on its conventions. Incredulous at the situation, Bazan laughed it off and simply assured his ex-girlfriend he had no intentions of being more than friends with her. “We cleared things up and talked about our budding friendship, and then made plans to get coffee and catch up in a few weeks,” Bazan said. He added, “The majority of our interactions are absurd enough that they belong more in a sitcom than in real life.”

Later that day, technology intervened again to the embarrassment of both parties.“Two hours later, I got another text from [my ex-girlfriend],” said Bazan. “It was a series of screenshots of the conversation we had that morning.

I was really confused until she thought she was texting someone else, telling them about our conversation.” She and Bazan realized the mistake at nearly the same moment. “Oops, haha Jesus, I literally cannot stop doing embarrassing things,” she wrote, according to Bazan. “She said that she decided we would just laugh it off and then had to run to class,” he said.

“I saw her in the gym the next morning and she looked away when I waved to say hi.”

courtesy of Emma Gregoline

Inside the screen, outside the bubble

D

courtesy of Emma Gregoline

uring winter break, campus can be a kind of wasteland. With the temperature always dropping and only a few students lingering on campus, it was a prime opportunity for one senior lady to explore the dating pool beyond Vassar.

“It worked great because I got a really interesting crowd: people from Poughkeepsie or nearby towns who lived elsewhere or even overseas but were home for the holidays visiting family,” she wrote in an emailed statement. The senior ended up meeting seven people in 10 days, and a few more over the rest of the break. “[It] was unexpectedly...exhausting because even though I was looking for casual relationships, it takes at least some energy to have coffee and get to know someone—and repeat that over and over again.”

We can all only go on so many Crafted Kup dates, amiright?

Though the small talk was tiring at times, she said it was worth it, even if nothing long-lasting came out of it. “I did get to meet a great mix of people from varied occupations and backgrounds. Because I was looking for casual relationships, the fact that most of them were in town fleetingly was a plus. I’m still friends with one of them.” Branching out of Vassar, however, meant having to be a little more careful. Whereas most faces on campus are familiar ones, meeting up with complete strangers required some extra precautions for this senior.

She said, “I also took care to screen them well. I made sure to meet in public first and in all cases managed to stealth out their real name...for my own sense of safety...I suppose I had to take some risks, but it worked out well for me.”

For one Class of 2014 alumna, exploring romantic possibilities off campus was less fruitful.

After coming back from abroad her junior year, she had lost interest in most of her classmates and downloaded Tinder, which was still gaining any significant following at the time. “I ended up connecting with a Marist guy who I thought was hot...but it turned out to be a really shallow affair,” she said, adding with a laugh, “It kind of made me lose my hope in Tinder.” She continued, “It was funny at the time because I know my friends and I [were] always wondering about the ‘hot Marist guys’ across town and Tinder turned out to be a way of branching out of the Vassar bubble.”

As for our current senior, none of her classmates will be matching with her anytime soon.

“When school started again and I started recognizing everyone on Tinder, I began losing interest in the app...I haven’t been on [it] in a while, but when I saw Vassar students, it was almost always an automatic swipe left,” she said, attributing her policy to Vassar’s small campus. At the end of her Tinder spree, she said she did take away some valuable lessons. “...Those who you want to text back never will, and vice versa.”

Love don’t cost a thing

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hen romance wanes, there are still some ways college students can profit from the awkwardness of first dates. When Kiran ’15 read about women in college finding sugar daddies, her curiosity was piqued: Amid meager work-study paychecks, the expenses of laundry and books and groceries, this prospect seemed attractive. “I thought to myself, ‘Oh, that sounds like a fun social experiment.’”

With that, Kiran decided to make a profile on SeekingArrangement.com, a site designed to connect sugar babies with sugar daddies. “The first couple of days, I was getting a lot of notifications saying people had viewed my profile, but I didn’t start getting messages until a few days in,” Kiran explained. But once they started rolling in, Kiran said it was one brazen message after another.

“I’ve just given you access to my private photos, go to my profile to view them...Obviously I cannot devote my full time to such a relationship, so I am willing to make you happy by making up for it in whichever way you see fit,” wrote one prospective sugar daddy whose username is “dadyo.” Another user, whose net worth is $2 million, wrote to Kiran, “I think we would get along wonderfully! I’m seriously very sensual and a true pleaser...” Said Kiran, “At that point, I got kind of freaked out because it was becoming way too real and after a couple days I decided it was no longer funny; it was actually just making me uncomfortable.” However, upon trying to delete her account, Kiran discovered there were some obstacles the website had set in place. “SeekingArrangements doesn’t let you delete your account after at least 10 days. On that same page, the only button you can click to get off of the page is a link to ‘find more men near you.’” Kiran said she found the website both pushy and misleading: The homepage of the site showcases photos of an attractive young woman and an attractive young man embracing, a scenario that seems unlikely on all counts.

“If you read interviews and advice on sugar daddies, all of the advice says, ‘Don’t expect to find anyone who you’re actually physically attracted to.’ It’s not a website where relationships happen organically; it’s a website that caters to a very specific niche of relationships and, in that niche, mutual attraction isn’t likely.”

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February 26, 2015

The faces behind one of students’ favorite Arlington haunts Claire Standaert Reporter

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beamed, “I’ll show you!” She pulled out her phone. In the picture was an army of smiling faces. She flipped to another picture from the previous year, which was taken in the same room, containing the same faces and smiles.

Mrs. Lin says she likes Poughkeepsie, suggesting that of all the places her family has lived, this area suits them best. She likes being close to the College and Vassar community, where the atmosphere is good and comfortable for their family.

When living in the city, things were too hectic and busy, she said. Here in Poughkeepsie, it is easier to take care of her kids. “[In New York City] you have to pick up the kids somewhere, go back to the restaurant…” she lamented.

In the background, Mr. Lin flips tortillas on the grill. The sound of clanking and

Emily Lavieri-Scull/The Miscellany News

alk into Fresco Tortillas for Mexican food and you’ll get a taste of China, too.

There is a prominently raised menu of TexMex cuisine, but you’ll also notice details that confuse your cultural senses. On the counter sits a Hello Kitty tip box and bowl full of Chinese sweets. And behind the counter are two smiling immigrants, husband and wife Bing Xia and Kui Lin, also known as Kym and Kent Lin. Ten years ago, the Lins left their home in Fozhou, China, for New York City. There, they worked at a Chinese restaurant for eight years. But two years ago, after having run Fresco Tortillas for more than a decade, Mr. Lin’s uncle retired.

This led Mr. and Mrs. Lin to come with their two children to Poughkeepsie to continue the dream of a family-owned business that Fresco Tortillas was.

On the surface, it might seem odd that the Lins run a Mexican kitchen. In fact, when Lin’s uncle was in charge many years ago, New York Times’ Eric Asimov wrote an article about the restaurant, addressing the common perception that you should cook and serve the food you grew up eating.

Asimov wonders, “A surprising ethnic formula? Not really, if you consider Jews who cook Italian food…or Asians who’ve become French chefs.” It’s also worth noting that New York is known as a place that bends and breaks the rules of “normalcy” to create an interesting blend of culture.

As for the Lins’ personal history, though, you would have to rewind back a generation.

Mr. Lin’s uncle had already established the business as Mexican before the Lins took over. As to why, the answer was simple. Mrs. Lin said, “He thought it was tasty.”

They also believe they attract more business by being one of few Mexican places as opposed to one of many Chinese places. In this sense, they have an advantage, especially

being within walking distance from campus.

This becomes a compelling immigrant story; one in which immigrants come here and the American spirit of capitalism to diversify and create your own role breaks the barriers of cultural difference. But although economic opportunity is why the Lins came to America, it wasn’t out of greed. Mrs. Lin says her dream for the future is to raise her children well and keep the business running smoothly for years to come.

Thousands of miles away from their birthplace, for the Lins, home is where the family is. “We just had Chinese New Year!” Mrs. Lin exclaimed. To celebrate the holiday, the Lins closed the kitchen early and traveled to the city with their two young children.

There, they gathered with extended family in a small apartment. “My family,” Mrs. Lin

While at first glance, Fresco Tortillas might seem to represent a culture clash, such is not the case.

Chinese immigrants Kym and Kent Lin combine their culture with Tex-Mex cuisine that students love..

Williams tackles serious issues with comedic style WILLIAMS continued from page 1

it is difficult and transforming pain of experience to comedy is also painful in itself.”

Just a few years older than Vassar students, Williams has already made a name for herself in the comedy world, starting her career on “The Daily Show” at just 22.

“Spoiler alert,” she warned when she recounted her nervous excitement auditioning for the position, “I got the job.” Her final test had been running through her audition skit in front of Stewart himself.

“I just remember my heart beating fast, and then the first thing I hear is someone humming.

And I’m like, who the fuck is humming at my audition?” It ended up being Stewart, who, Williams suspects, whistled to make her feel more at ease. He has continued to be a mentor and friend to Williams ever since.

The job came as a slight surprise for Williams, since they put her on as a full-time correspondent right away. Before the audition, Williams had made a point of not looking at what the other correspondents were doing. She wanted to present herself in her truest colors: a young character who was aware of all that she didn’t know. Still, at first she struggled finding her voice.

In her early days on “The Daily Show,” Williams knocked on Stewart’s door and asked him for some advice: “‘What’s my thing? You know, what’s my character, what should I do?’ and he just told me, ‘Relax, it’ll happen.’”

Though Williams didn’t believe him at the time, she is now known for her pieces on racism and sexism, and she showed the audience two clips on the show—one dealing with the stop and frisk policy and another dealing with sexual assault—of which she is particularly proud.

This type of realist comedy, Williams explained, came from her grandmother. Williams said, “[My grandmother’s life] made her have an edge to her. And it made her sort of rough around the edges, which is how I like to imagine I am, and how I think my work on ‘The Daily Show’ is.”

Much of Williams’ talk revolved around the

idea of alienation. Throughout her life, as a Black Christian woman, Williams never felt she could find her place. “There are things that are hard for me to grasp as being a women, as being Christian...as being a black woman, as being a feminist—there are some things that I feel I can’t reconcile,” she said.

The feeling of never quite identifying as someone was something with which Caitlan Moore ’16, another Indecent Exposure member who opened for Williams, identified. She said, “I’ve definitely experienced feelings of loneliness and isolation so hearing her talk about channeling that into art was really positive for me.”

Hassel added that Williams’ talk brought up a few crucial points. “In a comedic realm where there’s an assumption that ‘women aren’t funny’—so much of my energy is placed in combating this stereotype through different intersections of race, gender and class,” she said.

“I stopped caring about what type of audience would find ‘this’ funny or what type of audience would find ‘this’ not funny...I think a part of that stems from refusing to use so much of my energy in satisfying an audience over satisfying myself.”

Hassel mentioned that Williams’ words were not just poignant for those in comedy, but to anyone trying to live their best lives.

“Jessica’s lecture brought up so many crucial points of advice, I really don’t know where to start. I think perhaps one of her greatest pieces of advice that I personally made note of had to do with self-care. The fact that she was willing to admit her frustrations while at the same time acknowledging that there is this need to preserve energy over the discourses you engage in was pretty important,” said Hassel.

Williams ended on a lighter note, fangirling about The Sims 3, but the backbone of her talk resonated most.

Moore finished, “I really admire that she’s using her humor to try and make things better and shed light on issues. It takes a very gifted and socially conscious person to tackle these topics with respect and humor simultaneously.”

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

scraping metal and hungry customers evokes a sense of chaos, but Mrs. Lin doesn’t seem phased and steps behind the counter to help her husband for a few seconds.

In the background, popular American songs, such as Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off,” pulse through the small kitchen. It seems as if everything has been pounded into familiarity for the Lins.

In fact, they have habits on which regular customers pick up. For example, you can watch the idiosyncratic movements of Mr. Lin as he prepares fresh tortillas on the grill.

Bubbles rise in the dough, and Mr. Lin pats them down with a metal spatula, repeating this motion until the tortillas are perfectly golden and crispy.

Kelsey Domb ’15 said, “They always ask me if I want extra sour cream or extra salsa.” They do this for everybody, which Domb chalks up to a general desire to satisfy their costumers. “I feel like it is a very warm and comforting environment and they really strive to make the customer feel as if they are part of the family.”

It seems that for the Lins, home is now in Poughkeepsie. America and its culture have become familiar by now. If you ask Mrs. Lin what she finds strange about America, she’ll say, “Wait a second, let me look around.” She will grin, look out the giant glass window facing the street, search for something peculiar, and find nothing and say, “Nothing.”

Although the Lins speak minimal English and communication beyond ordering is difficult, if you get to know them—or even just interact with them—you will discover they value simplicity in a word which, for them at least, is often quite complex.

Among the everyday niceties of running a kitchen, satisfying customers and taking the orders of hungry Vassar students, family and kindness seems to be an overarching salvation. Mrs. Lin said, “We are good people. And the food is good.”

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February 26, 2015

FEATURES

Page 7

Among library’s million volumes, a budding zine collection Julia Cunningham

Assistant Features Editor

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Marie Solis/The Miscellany News

ait here! Let me go get Heidy, it’s really her baby.”

When Research Librarian Carol Marshall returned to the research desk, she was trailed

by Heidy Berthoud, Head of Acquisitions and Cataloging Services, each carrying a plain black filing case. They couldn’t wait to start talking about the library’s newly expanding zine collection.

The filing cases contained the seed collection of zines that Berthoud had been buying from a range of zine distributors.

“Zines are really DIY, anyone can make them,” Berthoud explained. “They can be really whatever you want them to be. If you want to make lists of things you like, if you like to draw and you want to make comics, or you want to make a collage of things, it’s just a way for everyone to get their voice heard.”

“You can go really simple, like this one, ‘My Mother’s Cats,’ it’s just someone who is making goofy little drawings, and that’s what they wanted to say. You don’t need any huge artistic talent, but then you have people like Carrie who really are making these mini works of art,” Berthoud went on to say.

The library’s book collection is not the only thing that extends beyond the borders of Vassar’s campus. The idea for the zine collection originated from that at the University of Chicago library, where Berthoud worked before she came to Vassar.

The collection at the University of Chicago was kept, for the most part, out of students’ reach. “All of their zines at Chicago lived in special collections, so the only way you could see any of them was if you got a special reader pass to see special collections, and then the archivist or whoever would bring some zines out to you.”

Berthoud wanted a different approach with Vassar’s zine collection. “Here, I really want the zines to be more public. So we have a plan for zines that students donate. We’re going to keep a copy in special collections just so we always have it for sure, but then we do plan on displaying some of the student zines in the public area as well.”

The hope for this new collection is that it will be more accessible to students, not just in the way they’re displayed, but also in who writes them. “We would love to have students make zines and donate them to the collection, because we really want them to record what’s important to students on campus right now, and what their thoughts are,” Berthoud said.

“So we’d love to get students involved in this.”

The main issue now is figuring out how to spread word around campus that this collection is waiting to be created. “We’re trying to figure out a way to tell people about it, since it doesn’t have a public place in the library yet,” Berthoud said.

Marshall and Berthoud started pulling a few zines out from the cases—a few of over a hundred they have amassed so far. “These all just live in my office.” She added, gesturing to the nook tucked next to the Q Center, “We’re going to be redoing this space right there for the zines.”

The little research desk was starting to fill up with the pamphlets, but Berthoud and Marshall were still pulling out more. There was a series called “Daisies and Bruises” about a zinester who dealt with abuse as a child, but there also were zines with titles like “Things My Dad Had to Take Out of Animals” and “How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety.”

People who write zines are as diverse as the topics that they write about: There are those who already have a public voice, and those who are just have a particular passion.

“I think they’re just willing to put themselves out there and create something and send it around to a lot of people,” Berthoud said.

Break the Silence at Vassar (BTSAV) have already put themselves out there and contributed to the library’s zine collection. Sara Cooley ’15, a member of BTSAV, wrote in an emailed statement that BTSAV would hope to serialize their zine. “Our group has spoken about doing another zine, thanks to the overwhelmingly positive reception of our last one, but I’m afraid it won’t be a possibility for us this semester,” Cooley wrote.

“As for putting together the BTSAV zine, we sent out a call for submissions for any form of media (art, poetry, prose, etc) that responded

Pictured above, Head of Acquisitions and Cataloging Services Heidy Berthoud arranges some of the library’s newly acquired zines. So far, she has accrued over a hundred zines, which currently live in her office. to the theme of community and healing after trauma,” Cooley added.

Already, Berthoud and Marshall have been in touch with professors with the idea of using and creating zines as part of academia.

“We heard from one women’s studies course where the students are actually making a zine as part of their course work, so these will be good examples for that class,” Berthoud said, referring to the seed collection. The hope is that zines will be able to provide great primary sources for research. “We’re still working on how exactly to incorporate zines into the curriculum, and finding out where there’s interest on campus,” Berthoud said.

Berthoud would hope to see the zines in Vassar’s collection distributed not just around campus, but also to other colleges.

“At Barnard, they even have zines they send out on interlibrary loan, but we’re taking a long trip in a month or so to the city to see how their zine library operates, and hopefully we’ll bring some of those practices back

here,” Berthoud explained. “There’s [also] a zine collection at SUNY New Paltz, and they have a zine group, so we really want to invite them to come over and maybe do some SUNY New Paltz-Vassar activities.”

She added, “It would be fun if we could swap zines between places. It would also be fun if we could get maybe some high schools in the area interested in zines and come in and doing zine things with us and just reach out more into the community beyond Vassar.”

Zines have always transcended time and distance. “It can be whatever you need it to be,” as Berthoud put it. “If you need to write about heavy stuff like in ‘Daisies and Bruises,’ you can do that, but if you need to just write about pizza, or the best takeout places in Poughkeepsie, someone needs to make that zine so I can read it.”

She added to this, saying, “We really want people to come use the collection—we’re really excited about it, [and] we hope people are excited about it, too.”

Hosting class in her apartment, Kane redefines homework Sarah Sandler Guest Reporter

I

ment can help ease this stress.

Perhaps the most compelling result of professors inviting students into their homes is, in fact, the same reaction preschoolers have upon seeing their teachers at the grocery store: that recognition of a professor as more than just a teacher. “It gives you a sense of your professor as a human being outside of the classroom.

That’s something you forget a lot, so it’s a very humanizing experience,” remarked Butterton.

Of course, for all its benefits, not every class is able to partake in this practice. Even if the amount of time and amount of resources were not issues, only certain types of classes can really benefit from being held at a professor’s home.

Hoffman noted, “More discussion- or workshop-based classes would be the ideal ones

for a get-together like that.” In a similar vein, Kane explained that she tries to limit the inhome class meetings to her year-long courses.

This way, the class is small enough to fit in her apartment and, since they spend an entire year together rather than a single semester, they are able to feel more comfortable with each other in such an intimate setting.

As Butterton said, “Maybe part of its charm is that it is something exceptional.”

Kane echoed this sentiment. “I think it doesn’t just add to an academic experience, I think it adds to the relationship of the student and teacher, which is part of the academic experience but...it’s more organic. We [professors] are actually people, I don’t just live in a carrel in the library!”

Jacob Gorski/The Miscellany News

t is an almost universal epiphany of all preschoolers that teachers, amazingly, do not live at school. Though it is true that they have lives outside of the classroom, somehow, it is still a shock to see them out in the “real world.”

Before college, seeing a teacher in the real world is a rare occurrence. It’d be a shock if it happened even once or twice per month. Even though many professors live close to Vassar, seeing a professor off campus can still feel like seeing Bigfoot, though maybe that’s the fault of students who rarely venture off campus.

Occasionally, however, even professors grow tired of sitting on campus in offices and classrooms all day. Some professors will arrange to hold their office hours and meetings at the Crafted Kup or other Raymond Avenue haunts, and even fewer go the extra mile by inviting students into their homes.

This practice is meant to benefit the class as much as to benefit the instructor. “It presents a different kind of environment in which to get to know the students,” said Associate Professor of English Jean Kane. At the end of last semester, Kane invited her senior composition class to her home in Kendrick House for their final class session. Kendrick House is an on-campus residence for professors.

“I like to do that with year-long classes, to have them over...At the end of the semester, they’re all tired and hungry and stressed out, and it’s sort of a nice thing to do for the students,” Kane explained.

Her students agreed that the gesture was a compassionate one. “Going over to a professor’s house is a natural expansion of that community feeling. It’s a nice way to end the semester,” said Derek Butterton ’15.

Although there are only 12 students in senior composition, that is not to say that there is never a bit of awkwardness associated with this

experience. Frank Hoffman ’15, also a member of Kane’s senior composition class, noted that there is still a lack of ambiance despite the homey setting. “It’s always a little strange at first to be in a different environment, especially a professor’s home; but Professor Kane made it a very warm setting.”

Indeed, Professor Kane remarked that there is a delicate balance in inviting students into her home. “I think [students] remain focused because it’s an unfamiliar environment. Even though students may be in a more comfortable environment, it is also a new environment and people want to be on good behavior...You’re a guest as well as a student.”

There is a difference between holding class where desks separate students and teacher and when everyone is sitting on couches. According to Butterton, the class held in Professor Kane’s apartment was divided into two parts: For the beginning of the class period, the class socialized and ate some snacks, and for the latter portion of class, the meeting proceeded as it normally would in the classroom setting. “We talked about our outside reading and then workshopped each other’s writings as we usually would, except we were on couches,” Butterton said with a smile.

Holding class in a professor’s home has other benefits, in addition to being a celebration of the end of a semester. Hoffman explained, “Something different can definitely give you a little spark in the end...by that time, people can get into sort of a rut in terms of their studies and their work, and just having a place to think for a second can set you up for at least the rest of the day, if not the rest of the week.”

Simply leaving the cramped dorms can be a good way to relieve stress around the end of the semester. “When you’re living in a dorm, it’s really nice to, even if it’s just an apartment, be in someone’s house,” Professor Kane noted. Finals are stressful; being in a warm, homey environ-

Associate Professor of English Jean Kane makes it a point to invite the 12 students in her year-long senior composition course to her apartment at the end of the semester. Students appreciate the change in setting.

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February 26, 2015

That makes two of us: students take on college beside sibs Sarah Sandler Guest Reporter

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beyond the fact that I knew more about Vassar because of her.”

David Garfinkel ’15, whose brother Jonathan Garfinkel graduated from Vassar in 2012, felt similarly. “Having an older brother here probably influenced my decision a bit, but I chose Vassar mainly because I liked the school,” he wrote in an emailed statement.

Since Zayne and Westin are the same age, seeing each other in the context of campus nightlife isn’t as strange as it might be for siblings with an age difference of any kind.

Even though Anna is a senior and Zack is a freshman, they have run into each other a few times when going out on the weekends. Anna commented, “Of course we run into each other on campus. Vassar is way too small to prevent that from happening!”

When Anna and Zack both attended Middle School Mug Night, though, it was of no consequence. “Everything was too dark to see anyway,” Zack joked.

Alec Ferretti/The Miscellany News

t’s not uncommon for students at Vassar to attend after an older sibling. However, it’s far more rare to find siblings who spend their entire four years at Vassar together.

Twins Zayne and Westin Sibley ’17, for example, decided that it wasn’t enough just to share a womb together.

“We didn’t really plan or not plan on going to the same school,” Zayne explained. “We were both looking for the same type of school and Vassar fit that.”

Zayne and Westin liked the College so much that they both applied Early Decision.

However, they told Vassar straight-up: They could have both of the Sibley sisters or neither of them.

“We put on our applications not to accept one of us and not the other,” Westin explained simply.

Unlike most of us who go to college knowing very few or no other people on campus, Zayne said, “Especially freshman year, it was nice to have someone you know in a sea of new people. Also, we share a lot of things, like clothes and stuff. And it’s nice to have someone who knows your family life, and someone outside your group of friends to talk to about social life or school.”

Though it can be nice to have someone so familiar on campus, for the Sibley twins, it can be like experiencing the stresses of college twice over.

Zayne described, “If one of us is going through something, we both go through it.

Like if I’m sad, she’ll be sad and if she’s sad, I’ll be sad.”

Zayne and Westin spend a lot of time together on campus because they have the same group of friends, and last year they were both members of Vass Shakers, dancing together in a few of the numbers in the final performance. Nonetheless, they don’t have as much one-on-one time as you’d think.

“We don’t really hang out that much just the two of us,” Westin clarified.

She continued, “We’re not in any of the

same classes, so we don’t see each other much during the day.”

Anna Brashear ’15 has a younger brother, Zack Brashear ’18, who is in his first year at Vassar. While Zack decided to attend on his own accord, Anna said, “I think I did encourage Zack to apply to Vassar, simply because I was having such a good experience here.” She continued, “I think he had a really positive impression from the way I talked about my satisfaction with the school, which probably made him pay Vassar a little more attention, but ultimately it was his decision.”

In addition to seeing his sister have a positive experience at Vassar, Anna reflected on other draws to the college, saying, “I think he saw that he could be involved in lots of different, diverse activities at Vassar, which is something we both liked in high school.”

Though Zack admitted this was true to some extent, he noted, “Having an older sister here probably didn’t affect my decision

Twins Zayne and Westin Sibley ’17 didn’t plan on attending the same college as each other, but they both applied Early Decision to Vassar, warning Admissions to either accept both of them or neither of them.

Anna went on to say, “Zack and I like to joke around and typically have fun together.

We have a good sibling relationship. So when we run into each other in the Mug or at a party, it’s actually really funny. I mean, I can only speak for myself, maybe he actually runs in the opposite direction without my noticing, I think it’s pretty fun to see him around—never awkward.”

David’s brother Jonathan seemed to have a similar philosophy, seeking out opportunities to hang out with his then-freshman brother on the weekends and bringing him into his circle of senior friends.

“He would invite me to his TH or his friends’ TAs sometimes for parties, and it was never awkward—always more fun than awkward,” wrote David.

While crossing paths on the weekends might be common, few siblings take many classes together. David and his brother never had a class together, but David remembered, “[We] did take a class with the same professor in different semesters. The professor would occasionally ask how he was doing after he graduated, but that was the extent of it.”

Anna and Zack haven’t had a class together yet either, and Anna noted it was probably for the best—sibling rivalry need not apply.

“I’m not sure if I would want that—I think I would come across as his annoying sister who talks too much in that setting,” she said.

“I’m just a little different in class than I am at home, and sometimes we have pretty different opinions about things, so that’s one place where I would probably get on his nerves.”

Though having a sibling on campus has many logistical advantages—someone to travel with to and from school, someone to borrow clothes from, someone to swipe you into the Deece when you lose your VCard (maybe)—on a basic level, it brings a piece of home to school.

While it’s been three years since his brother was on campus, David remembered this being true. He ended, “It was nice to know I would have a friend here when I came, and it gave me a bit of a comfort zone.”

A chicken teriyaki dish that makes pizza look so last week Penina Remler

U

columnist

Courtesy of Cookingclassy.com

nlike most eight-year-olds who looked to pizza or French fries as comfort food, I preferred Japanese cuisine. In fact, I used to (and potentially still do) rely on chicken teriyaki to cure all of my culinary concerns.

However, this craving was not easily satisfied. It wasn’t a basic dish that could be prepared in a microwave or baking oven like pizza and French fries could be. As most of my friends waited only a few minutes for their cheesy pizza and golden fries, I had to entertain myself for as long as it took my favorite Japanese restaurant to deliver the sweet and savory teriyaki goodness to my front door (that was if my dog didn’t scare away the delivery man first).

Eventually, this habit grew old and my family started to get tired of my unhealthy obsession with Japanese takeout. Even though they were ready to nix my delivery service demands, I refused to cut ties with my favorite dish, leading me to one of the best discoveries which I still value in my life today: homemade chicken teriyaki.

The word teriyaki can be broken into two basic terms: teri (shiny) and yaki (grilled).

Most people don’t know that teriyaki refers to a cooking method which makes this recipe not only tasty, but simple and easy to follow.

The secret to chicken teriyaki is mastering the perfect sauce. This essential aspect of the dish requires soy sauce, granulated sugar, brown sugar, garlic cloves (crushed in a press), freshly grated ginger, ground black pepper, a three-inch cinnamon stick and pineapple juice. Together, the culmination of flavors will form a perfectly balanced sweet and savory sauce.

After combining these ingredients, transfer them into a small saucepan and immediately bring the sauce to a boil over high heat. Once the sauce has reached a steady boil, reduce the heat and continue to stir the ingredients until

the sugar is completely dissolved (this should take no more than three minutes). Finally, remove the sauce from the heat, take out the cinnamon stick and mix in a half a cup of water as you allow the marinade to cool down.

Now it is time to prepare the chicken. This aspect of the dish requires boneless chicken breasts which you will first place in a sealable plastic bag.

Pour the prepared sauce into the bag and be sure to distribute it evenly so the chicken is completely coated, as it will soon sit in the refrigerator over night. After allowing the chicken to marinate, transfer the extra sauce from the bag into a small saucepan.

Bring the sauce to a boil, mix in cornstarch and water over medium heat and continue to stir the mixture until the sauce starts to thicken (gradually adding in water will help to yield the ideal consistency).

The chicken is best cooked in a broiler or grill. Prior to hitting the pan, brush the pieces of chicken with your freshly prepared sauce.

Next, allow the chicken to broil or grill for three to five minutes on each side or until the protein appears to be cooked entirely through.

To prevent the chicken from sticking to the pan, keep the breasts moving around the heated surface until both sides appear golden brown. When the chicken is completely prepared, rest the thighs on a cutting board and slice them into even strips. One chicken breast is recommended as the average serving size per person.

Once the chicken has had time to rest and has been distributed into thin pieces, feel free to arrange your dish as you please.

The traditional recipe is meant to be served over white rice, smothered in any extra sauce and garnished with cucumbers, green onions and toasted sesame for additional flavor. But if you don’t have these items in your kitchen, do what you gotta do to satisfy your craving and watch your friends grow green with envy as your enjoy your homemade creation.

The Ingredients

1 cup soy sauce 1 cup granulated sugar 1 1/2 teaspoons brown sugar 6 cloves garlic (crushed in a press) 2 tablespoons grated fresh ginger 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 3-inch cinnamon stick 1 tablespoon pineapple juice 2 tablespoons cornstarch boneless chicken breasts white rice scallions toasted sesame seeds sliced cucumber

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

February 26, 2015

OPINIONS

Page 9

The Miscellany News Staff Editorial

Faculty Policy reasonable, but bypasses student voices In the past week, The Miscellany News received a draft of a document which would change the College’s policy on consensual relationships between faculty and students in a significant way. According to this year’s Faculty Handbook, “The College strenuously discourages romantic or sexual relationships between faculty members and students, administrators and students, and staff members and students,” (68).

The policy permits such relationships upon specific conditions, among them: that the faculty member, administrator, or staff member must disclose the relationship with a student to the department chair or supervisor; that the faculty member does not teach in the same field of concentration as the student; and that the faculty member prepare alternative methods of supervision. if these first two ordinances cannot be met.

Only a failure to comply with these regulations would result in disciplinary actions, which may range from verbal warnings to a complete dismissal from the college. With the new policy, set to be voted on by the faculty on March 11, any relationships between students and faculty would be prohibited and punishable by disciplinary action such as leave without pay or termination. The policy does not apply to current relationships between faculty and students, or to the spouse or partner of a professor who enrolls as a student.

This policy has been abruptly made known to students less than a month before it will go to the faculty for a vote, which allows little time for dialogue with the students. While giving some notice to the student body is appreciated, this gesture leaves the impression that notice was given only as a courtesy for students, rather than a chance for meaningful input that could actually affect the draft. Moreover the limited nature of the notice—originally

restricted to the VSA Executive Board instead of spread through a campus-wide email—means that student awareness was unnecessarily limited to those paying close attention to the Vassar Student Association.

This body can be, at times, only a small segment of the whole campus.

This act by the Administration only worsens the lack of transparency that many students feel is affecting the Administration’s ability to enact meaningful discussion with the student body.

As for the drafting of the policy, it seems that such an action should have happened earlier in the year when there was discussion about the contractual obligations of house team members. If student fellows are prohibited from having relationships with their freshmen fellowees, it would logically follow that professors should be prohibited from relationships with students, as the power dynamics between a professor and his or her student are far greater than those between a sophomore or junior student and a freshman.

Currently, the policy of the College is to strongly discourage student-faculty relationships, which seems to already be in line with the standard that the vast majority of students and professors maintain.

Students assume that their professors will keep a professional, working relationship with them both in and out of the classroom.

The new policy, while clearly maintaining this professional relationship, seems unnecessary in many regards. An outright prohibition of student and faculty relationships will not affect the majority of students and their professors, therefore the motives behind drafting such a policy remain unclear.

Recently, prominent institutions like Harvard and Stanford Universities have also moved in the direction of this kind of policy,

which has, for many, called into question the real motive behind Vassar’s decision to do so as well.

We at The Miscellany News believe that major changes to what the College deems permissible for students to do with other consenting adults should not be the product of a top-down policy change. Change like this, particularly in the existing campus climate surrounding issues of consent, should have been a student-led effort, and should have been inspired by the voices of students here rather than the actions of major universities elsewhere.

Many businesses and academic institutions have long forbidden such relationships, and we at The Miscellany News do not find such a rule particularly unfair nor do we feel that it exists without its merits.

In a professional environment, it is not unreasonable to expect the employees of that institution to conduct themselves appropriately, and colleges and universities are not exceptions to that.

Students generally hold their professors to a high enough standard. This standard often includes the assumption that professors will not pursue relationships with their students.

While acknowledging that student-faculty and staff relationships do occur and can be perceived as independent of a professor or staff members’ professionalism to some, to codify this rule of thumb in such a policy does not seem unreasonable to us.

What is more concerning is the approach the College chose to take in drafting this policy. Trickle-down change such as this is symptomatic of exactly the kind of powerlessness and lack of representation many students feel, especially given the unresponsiveness of the Administration to many of the requests the student body has made on other issues this year and in

previous years.

This policy could have been the product of a student-led dialogue, and we at The Miscellany News believe that if the College intends to get students to go along with it, that dialogue must be centered around students’ voices.

We understand that the policy is still only in its early draft stages, and that student voices may soon have their turn to weigh in on the potential change. Yet, the fact that the College decided not to inform students of their desire to limit our right to engage in activities that are not illegal is extremely disconcerting to students demand and deserbve to be an integral part of the decision-making processes that affect them.

The change seemed to fall into the students’ laps in the middle of the semester without warning. That the Faculty Policy and Conference Committee chose to divulge the existence of efforts to create this policy to the VSA seems a more like a gesture of courtesy than a request for student input, and without any tangible reason other than to pacify potential negative reactions to it by students.

This academic year has seen more than simply the development of students’ desire for more immediate progress on issues of consent and appropriate interpersonal behavior. It has brought the broader issue of students’ voices in the College’s policymaking and direction to a head.

Although this policy serves a legitimate and justifiable purpose, we at The Miscellany News believe that if the College and its leadership wish to garner the support of the student body on issues such as these, then they must see the broader context and ramifications of this issue.

—The Staff Editorial represents the opinions of at least 2/3 of our Editorial Board.

Working with nonprofits has its challenges, benefits Sophia Burns

L

Columnist

ike many Vassar students, my dreams include working for a not-for-profit organization, applying my skills to a social cause I am passionate about. After working in a small, local nonprofit for three years, I had many realizations about what a nonprofit career would entail as well as the trends and issues facing the industry. As those who have experience in the nonprofit world, it truly is rewarding, but it is equally exhausting. I started off as an intern at my nonprofit (unpaid, of course,) and a year later became the volunteer coordinator, a position in which I was able to learn a great deal about volunteerism among countless other useful experiences. Now, as I am in the midst my first college internship search, I find myself reflecting on my time in that organization and my interactions with the unpaid interns while I was a paid staff member. While there are, of course, many other larger problems within this industry that need addressing, the issue of interns is one that is particularly relevant to the Vassar community.

One of the greatest issues that face nonprofit organizations is a financial one. It’s simply due to the fact that you have limited sources of income when you’re focusing less on your bottom line and more on your primary mission as a charitable organization.

Unless it is a large, national organization, a large part of the staff and volunteers’ time goes into finding ways to bring money in by planning fundraisers, applying for numerous grants, and searching for people to carry out these functions. However, unless there is a designated person for these tasks, they get diffused throughout the team and take considerable time away from the pursuit of the actual mission and causes of the organization. This problem often pervades all aspects of the organization, as there is often a small core staff that must handle every facet from volunteer recruitment and retention to out-

reach, event planning and marketing. If you ask any staff member at a small to mid-sized nonprofit about their job description, they will likely mention that while they do have a primary function, they wear many hats. Depending on the mission, all of this can be difficult when there is also, on top of all these office tasks, work to be done out in the field.

For this reason, nonprofits are always eager to receive as many volunteers and interns as possible to lift some of the burden without further straining their limited resources.

“One of the greatest issues that face nonprofit organizations is a financial one.”

“Volunteers” tended to come in and do different types of tasks because they cared about our mission or for a community service requirement, and “interns” were typically college (or sometimes high school) students who performed more focused tasks to gain experience in a specific field. Some of our interns, who came from the local state university a few miles away, worked with us as a part of federal work study, but most were unpaid as I had been. The volunteers, on the other hand, were mostly stay-at-home moms, retirees, and young professionals looking to join the board of directors. While both groups were interesting to work with, I noticed some patterns with those who came in as interns. During recruitment, all of these students seemed enthusiastic about working with our organization and had resumes that indicated their participation in numerous campus activities and leadership positions.

However, after a few weeks of working, they often remarked that they did not really un-

derstand what the organization did or what its purpose in the community was. Volunteers, conversely, seemed knowledgeable about the basic function of the nonprofit and were passionate about it. The volunteers were also extremely punctual and showed great dedication to their work while they were there, while some interns had spotty attendance records and were prone to texting and zoning out. I learned that this was not just a problem in my organization, but in others of similar size and budget. Why would those who had a more clear-cut, educational purpose for working with an organization seem less motivated than those who did it just because they wanted to, I wondered, and how can nonprofits work to change this?

In looking into several non-profit internships, I notice a pattern that mine was also guilty of: listing internships with unclear objectives and too-general descriptions of their missions. This differed from that of the volunteer, which laid out specific goals and allowed room for them to customize their experience. Being in the position of the intern-hopeful, I feel as though the organization is not sure itself of what I will be doing with them, and a broad description of the mission does not set it apart in my mind from the sea of others I have read. While life in the nonprofit world is hectic, I can sense this in just few lines of text which leave the applicant confused from the beginning. This is also an issue in the orientation process, which is extremely important in building the intern’s relationship with the organization.

Unlike volunteers, interns may not come in with a definite passion for the organization’s mission, which can be used to the advantage of both parties. While the time of the staff members is indeed sparse, it is important that interns are properly oriented to the organization’s climate, values, and all the different aspects outside of that in which they will be working. Because some of this may seem abstract without physical results, es-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

pecially in some social service nonprofits, a day or a few hours of shadowing in the field should be required in order to allow interns to connect with the mission in a more tangible way. When beginning work at a nonprofit, on the other hand, interns should be inquisitive about the diverse functions of the organization and recognize the pros and cons of the industry. Having an internship at a nonprofit is a two-way relationship, and by embracing this, both the nonprofit and intern can get the most out of it.

“Having an internship at a nonprofit is a two-way relationship...”

Working in the nonprofit community is a truly unique and rewarding experience, and by strengthening internship programs, they can inspire and educate college students in ways that only experience can provide. Later on, this can have numerous benefits, as the then-intern may pursue a nonprofit career because they already have excellent relevant experience. This, finally, can serve to solve the pervasive issue of high-turnover rates due to the thought that nonprofit work is a “stepping-stone” in one’s career, not a permanent choice.

Like in anything, building relationships in the industry is crucial, but it is especially so due to the significance of not-for-profit work. Therefore, both interns and nonprofits must be aware that this occurs at the inception of one’s career, and changes must be made to nurture this unique aspect.

—Sophia Burns ’18 is a student at Vassar College.

OPINIONS

Page 10

February 26, 2015

Search for employment reveals ongoing structural flaws I

Susie Martinez Guest Columnist

t is finally that time of year when everyone asks seniors like me that one very daunting question: “What are you doing after Vassar?”

I used to have a response crafted up and ready, straightforward so to avoid follow up questions. Something along the lines of, “It’s fine,” with a smile afterwards, encouraging people to smile back in response.

Basically, “It’s fine” is a much easier answer to repeat instead of acknowledging that there is a real fear behind my answer.

We are all focusing on where we are headed next, and with good reason. Access to higher education used to be a privilege accessible only to America’s wealthy white men. Vassar opened its doors in 1861, at first a school intended for mostly wealthy white women.

We know when Vassar went co-ed (in 1969), and we know the first student of color recognized as an enrolled student was in 1878— an international student from Japan. In 1897, Anita Hemmings would become the college’s first black graduate after spending her undergraduate years passing as white (Her roommate ended up outing her, revealing her suspicions of Hemmings to her father, who later hired a private firm to investigate).

“...higher education used to be a privilege accessible only to America’s wealthy white men.”

Since then, more students from underrepresented groups in the United States are entering four-year colleges. However, barriers that have limited their entrance and performance in higher education before still exist within the job market, despite candidates being just as qualified as graduates from

more privileged backgrounds.

There are different concerns fueling our nervous quests to find a job or do something meaningful after Vassar. The prospect of finding a job after graduation may feel increasingly urgent for first generation and low-income students who quite frequently also happen to be students of color. Many of us will be wading through the job market, hoping that our degree or the skills we’ve acquired here will be enough to save us from drowning in unemployment. However, it’s important to note how structural oppression has been normalized even outside of Vassar.

Prior to entering college, I was wholeheartedly confident that college was and is the key to the “American Dream.” Growing up in an immigrant household only enforced those beliefs.

However, in the four years that have passed, I’ve grown a tad bit more cynical. Articles are frequently churned out that go into length about the bleakness of the job market.

We choose majors based on what career (and financial security) they will quickly funnel us into. We prep ourselves constantly to build up our resumes, even going as far as doubting ourselves when our resumes reach beyond a page.

For some, there are financial obligations to families that cannot be avoided. I know personally a question that follows my pursuit of a job is whether it will help me support my family. While that statement may seem a bit extravagant, for many low-income and first generation students, familial ties are a major propellant to excel in college regardless of whether they get along with their families.

Although we are taught to be career-driven, in practice that looks very different from trying to find a job that will hold you over for an extended period of time. There doesn’t seem to be time to worry about doing something you love—it seems selfish, especially if you are not the only mouth you are helping to feed. I’m fortunate that my mother

warmed up to my love affair in the multidisciplinary programs, which may not immediately result in an well-paying job, but not everyone has that luxury. Even then, money is still a concern, especially in a large, expensive city like New York.

Some of my friends and I avoid asking or

“There doesn’t seem to be time to worry about doing something you love.” answering questions about post-grad plans.

We usually find ourselves instead chatting about the work we are avoiding, sharing cost-effective tips on how to deal with our latest bout of the cold, reminiscing about home, and so on.

Whenever one of us manages to be brave enough to ask each other about post-graduate plans, there is a heavy pause. How do we acknowledge that life after Vassar is something that we may have imagined at one point but right now feels as distant as our hometowns, hundreds, if not thousands of miles away? The answers don’t really seem like guarantees of anything.

Are we selling ourselves well enough?

What can we sell? We have seen the ways in which structural oppression plays a role in people’s success in the job market. It was only a few months ago that José Zamora’s story garnered attention all over social media after he dropped one letter off his name.

After transforming from José Zamora into Joe Zamora on his resume, he received more responses from potential employers (The Huffington Post, “He Dropped One Letter In His Name While Applying For Jobs, And The Responses Rolled In,” 09.02.14).

So, then, who can sell? His story is just one

example of the various thinkpieces produced annually that cover how income disparity is linked to race, class and gender. The job market is hard, sure, but that looks very different for some based on identity.

Nationwide programs similar to Vassar’s own Transitions program have not quite addressed the obstacles first-generation and low-income students face after graduation.

Keeping students in college and ensuring a high retention rate all throughout their four years has been the first step. The next step is making sure that students, once away from Vassar’s support networks, remain afloat and swimming in the world.

This is not to negate individual successes of marginalized folks. In fact, it is these individual stories that continue to restore faith in our system as it currently stands. However, these stories are then used to demoralize others who don’t quite make it out here and re-affirm a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” mentality.

There is something to be said about the doors that open when given access to institutions of higher education and their networks—not to mention the fear that once you graduate, those same doors might just be closed shut right in your face.

I’m not sure yet where I am going, which is probably one of the more uncomfortable truths I’ve had to swallow in recent weeks.

I know my obligations are tied to my relationship with my family and my position as the first person in my family to graduate from a highly selective college in the United States—a country my parents fled to in search of economic prosperity. Just as my identity has shaped my circumstances leading up to college and served as a motivator to continue all throughout the last four years, it still plays a crucial part in what I do after Vassar.

—Susie Martinez ’15 is an urban studies major.

Student debt a burden unlike any other for graduates Joshua Sherman

I

Opinions Editor

n 2012, a sort of media blitz emerged when the Consumer Financial Bureau announced that student debt passed the $1 trillion mark, a number that news organizations decided was the marker for when it was time to start talking about the “student loan crisis.” Alongside these concerns came horror stories from med school and for-profit college students attesting to six-figure debt balances, financed with the help of third-party loan providers gladly shelling out cash for college at rates from two to 15 percent or more. This media blitz continues even today with op-ed commentary from student debt-free adults about why this is or is not the “crisis” buzzword tossed between TV producers and newspaper editors alike. Call it a concern, a crisis or something else altogether, what I will say is that my own student debt has made me think terribly hard about my career intentions and opportunities (Washington Post, “Is the $1 trillion student loan debt really a crisis?” 05.01.14).

To begin, I will share my personal opinion that it is a tad ironic to hear such older, authoritative voices on why or why not student loan debt should keep us up at night. For starters, it’s a selfish observation by these writers. The chief reason many op-eds emerge to discuss student loan debt is because there’s a fear that this is leading to a bubble—and like all bubbles, there will be a day when they deflate, or even pop. The concern is not what will happen to us students that make up the $1 trillion-plus total debt, but instead how it will swing the economy into recession. By extension, concerns are also rampant about how we will be able to buy cars, houses, and continue to invest in our economy with all this debt—especially as Baby Boomers retire. Again, this is another example of selfish worry.

But I concede this is true for speculation about every industry. Whether it’s about a new dot-com bubble, another housing bubble or some other balloon-like structure, speculation will always come amid growth about the com-

ing economic fall. It’s all selfish observations— based on the fear of how the mistakes of others, or our big economic machine, will affect what we can put on the table—but there’s a huge difference between these crises and the one with student loan debt: Bankruptcy.

Bankruptcy, legally and financially speaking, is a way out for those with huge financial burdens. However, it doesn’t exist as an option for those with student loan debt. The notion is that you can’t repossess the knowledge you obtained from education, but this approach is inherently a fallacy. I won’t go into the specifics of my own financial situation, but I can say that tuition is not necessarily the biggest cost of a higher education. If you’ve lived on a residential campus like Vassar, but perhaps one with a less need-based financial aid process, you may receive a merit scholarship for tuition, but have to cough up room and board costs yourself.

This is where your debt may emerge, and the irony here is that if it weren’t higher education, there’s no reason why these costs could not be absolved, in a desperate situation, through bankruptcy. Room and board may be the cost of being in college, but it is not the cost of your learning—merely how you choose to survive while you learn.

“Room and board may be the cost of being in college, but it is not the cost of your learning.”

In a situation like this, I don’t see why bankruptcy is not an option for struggling students.

It isn’t like such an option doesn’t exists for other debts that can’t be returned. Having medical expenses is a valid bankruptcy reason, and it’s obvious that they cannot undo your surgery or treatment. I’m not even saying perhaps all student expenses ought to be valid for bankruptcy—but the fact no costs can be absolved if you cannot find a job in your field

seems absurd. It’s an expectation of privileges and accessibility that not everyone has.

As much as financial need helps at institutions like Vassar, not all schools do this, and if your debt were to pile up to $75,000 or more, paying off your loans within 10 years would be like making car payments on a new SUV. The legal precedent however might soon change, especially if many students soon find their education debts too great a burden.

Bankruptcy aside, internships also become a serious barrier because of debt. I thought for a while about pursuing civil service opportunities in Washington D.C., but those dreams are long gone now that I’ve reconciled with the balance of my student debt. The vast majority of internships (such as through any branches of government) are unpaid because of ethics, so adding on a summers worth of living expenses—for the “learning” offered in an unpaid internship—is not an option.

I’ve written already about the irony of our nation’s capital not thinking about accessibility alongside ethics for opportunities in civil service, as well as the plethora of unpaid internships in the world, so I don’t think it needs explanation how difficult these opportunities are when you’re already burdened with four years of college expenses. For those looking to take on such an opportunity, this decision is far easier if a parent can help out with the cost of an apartment, with the groceries or myriad other expenses.

It’s also easier to take on summer debt if you’re already, more or less, debt-free. It’s selfish for me to not think about a father back home who’s turning 61 this month. It’s selfish to not wonder about that fresh 30-year mortgage and a pair of parents not yet ready for retirement. It’s perhaps almost as selfish as those op-eds I’ll read in the business section about the fear of the next economic crash.

Bankruptcy is not meant to be some “easy way” to solve your debt problems. It’s a safety net for those who take a risk and end up losing in the game of capitalism. Allowing students to declare bankruptcy is not gaming the system.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

The concept that own a house’s worth of student debt means something has gone terribly wrong. At the very least, expenses related to higher education­—such as room & board and other fees—ought to be on the table.

“ It’s also easier to take on summer debt if you’re already, more or less, debt-free.”

I also want to refer back to all those things Baby Boomers want us to own once they retire. As much as it’s a selfish worry on their end, I myself also worry about whether my life’s work will result in a mortgage or merely a generation of rent receipts. A mortgage on a home is also a guarantee of some equity, but the question of whether I can have a house, car or other substantial equity can’t begin until another, five-figure debt is resolved. This isn’t about me though, as it’s about the millions of students who will have far greater debts than their parents when entering the workforce.

This has guided tough decisions in my lifestyle and opportunities, but will lead to even tougher ones as I slowly pay off the growing debt. When the economy demands I buy a car or house, I’ll have to ask for a pass, settling for rent receipts and a bus pass.

On the bright side, I’ll only have to wait until 2026, if all goes according to plan. Maybe along the way we’ll see action at a federal level toward this growing issue­—especially as the Baby Boomer voice grows ever-more important, we’ll perhaps see action as concerns over student debt evolve from fear to outright panic. Bankruptcy isn’t the sole solution, but it’s a start to considering fiscal responsibility in a few years, rather than a state of unending, perpetual debt for the emerging youth.

—Joshua Sherman ’16 is an English major.

February 26, 2015

OPINIONS

No Child Left Behind Act pains remain in higher education over accreditation Bryan Van Norden Guest Columnist

Editor’s Note: The views expressed in this editorial are the author’s own and do not represent his department, Vassar Administration or faculty.

V

assar is being blackmailed. The story of the blackmail goes back to Margaret Spellings, Secretary of Education under Bush the Younger.

Spellings (who has no classroom teaching experience, and no degree that would qualify her to teach at the college level) has three claims to fame. First, Spellings is the only sitting member of a presidential cabinet to be on Celebrity Jeopardy. She came in a distant second to actor Michael McKean (best known as Lenny on the sitcom “Laverne and Shirley”). Second, she is responsible for the No Child Left Behind Act. Nicknamed “No Child Left Awake,” this initiative forces educators to teach students how to pass standardized tests, rather than helping students to actually learn. Apparently concerned that she had not done enough damage to U.S. education, Spellings also convened a Commission on the Future of Higher Education. One of the recommendations of the Commission was that colleges and universities institute a, “robust culture of accountability,” emphasizing “learning outcomes.”

So what is wrong with that? The basic format for teaching humanities goes back at least as far as the Roman Empire in the West and the contemporaneous Han dynasty in China. Students read challenging works. Students discuss those works.

Students write about those works. The instructors lecture, guide discussions and give feedback on the writing. Thomas Aquinas was doing this in 13th-century Europe and Zhu Xi was doing this in 12th-century China. This basic framework has been unchanged for a simple reason: It is the only one that has ever worked (I use the examples of China and Europe simply because of my own ignorance of other traditions, not to slight them).

However, the preceding is not good enough for

advocates of “learning outcomes” and the related shibboleth “outcomes assessment.” They want outcomes that can be “measured” and “tested.”

They are quick to explain that assessment need not be quantitative in the humanities. But we already have a qualitative vision of what outcome we want (that is what the major and general education requirements are about), and we already have qualitative measures for assessing outcomes (these are known by the arcane technical terms “comments on your essay,” “grades” and “letters of recommendation”). Since we are fortunate to be at a private liberal arts college with a long history of being a leader in higher education, why should we care about what some failed Celebrity Jeopardy contestant said about outcomes assessment? Here is where the blackmail is occurring.

Every college and university that hopes to maintain its prestige and be eligible for certain kinds of funding must be “accredited.” Accreditation is done through non-governmental organizations (NGOs) that wield immense amounts of power, despite not being answerable to anyone. The NGO responsible for accrediting our school has been taken over by devout apostles of outcomes assessment, and they insist that we must institute a “culture of assessment”—or else.

Here is my assessment of the outcome (pardon the expression) of this situation: Either our school’s educational practices will be perverted, or we will institute a purely formal version of outcomes assessment, lacking in any actual content. I am hoping for the latter. In a meeting with a representative of our accrediting body, I asked whether the philosophy department could develop a checklist based on our stated goals, and have instructors certify that essays written by senior majors met these goals. (“Good grammar? Check.

Independent thought? Check. Take the best that has been thought and said and transmute it into wisdom in the smithy of your soul? Check.”) Incredibly, she said that sounded fine. It is not the worst result if we can find some bureaucratic

trick that allows us to continue to teach in what is transparently the best way (Apparently other schools are also trying the “just write something to get them off our backs” approach. This is an actual outcomes statement at another college that we were given as a paradigm: “The goal of the political science department is to transmit the knowledge of the discipline by providing courses and instruction that are characterized by excellence”). However, whatever approach we employ, we incur what economists refer to as a significant “opportunity cost.” In their incisive essay, “Is Outcomes Assessment Hurting Higher Education?” James Pontuso and Saranna Thornton note that “Ongoing assessment diverts teachers from teaching. Instead of preparing their courses, meeting with students, or grading papers—in short, executing their teaching duties—instructors must spend a substantial amount of time worrying about how to assess what they teach.”

I am not suggesting that higher education is perfectly fine just the way it is, either at Vassar or at other institutions. For example, I chaired a committee that recommended that Vassar work for greater clarity and consistency in its quantitative, writing and foreign language requirements.

But this will not result in “measurable” or “testable” outcomes. I say all of the preceding as a dedicated teacher. I can show you letters from students telling me that my classes changed their lives, three textbooks that I wrote specifically to meet the needs of my students, mountains of essays with my carefully written comments and sheaves of handouts I painstakingly prepared to address confusions my students had. That is what teaching is about, not about pseudo-rational “outcomes.” As Pontuso and Thornton wrote: “Many people’s lives have been affected by good teachers, but no one’s soul has ever been touched by a committee of test writers.”

Columnist

I

f you walk down the aisles of a grocery store such as Whole Foods or another like-minded health food store, much of the produce and packaged foods will sport labels saying “Non-GMO.” Non-GMO means that a food or a product’s ingredients do not include genetically modified organisms. Along with labels such as “fat-free,” “low-sugar” or “organic,” foods that are non-GMO draw in customers who are trying to eat more healthily or be environmentally conscious. While these genetically modified foods carry with them a negative connotation in a society where eating natural, wholesome foods is all the rage, in reality they may not be so bad in certain cases.

Last Friday, the U.S. Government approved Okanagan Specialty Fruits to plant genetically engineered apples that are resistant to browning and bruising. This decision is causing much controversy because in addition to the health risks that people think come along with genetically modified foods, executives in the apple industry are worried that this development could hurt apple exports (The New York Times, “Gene-Altered Apples Get U.S. Approval,” 02.13.15).

This concern is valid because of the large stigma that genetically modified foods in general carry. Americans are constantly reminded to stay away from packaged and processed foods and instead stick to whole, fresh fruits and vegetables. Because many mass-produced processed junk foods contain genetically modified plants such as corn or soy, many people believe that all genetically modified foods are therefore unhealthy to eat or less healthy than non-GM foods.

However, for these genetically modified apples, called Arctic Apples, in particular may have many positive aspects. These apples, which will come in the Granny Smith and Golden Delicious categories, may motivate people to choose a healthy snack over an unhealthy one and enciyrage companies to make them more readily available.

For example, school cafeterias today are less likely to offer fresh produce because its difficult to keep fresh for long periods of time, unlike processed and packaged snacks.

If fruits and vegetables like the Arctic Apples, which are resistant to turning brown, become more common, companies will be more inclined to offer them to their customers, which ultimately brings them ever-closer to ending up on our plates.

On the other side of the equation, consumers could become more willing to pay for fresh fruit if it will last longer before rotting. If a parent has to buy food on a budget for several kids, they are more likely to choose foods that are durable and won’t go bad in just a few days. One of the reasons chips, cookies and similar snacks are so popular is because they won’t expire when left unopened for months at a time, eliminating the risk of a food expiring before it is consumed and wasting precious family funds.

Many people have seen images on the TV and online that feature a photo of a fast food burger right after it is made alongside a photo of that same burger a few weeks later. The idea is to emphasize all the preservatives in the burger and how processed it must be if it doesn’t decompose much at all. Arctic apples will eventually rot and turn brown, but it will take much longer than for a non-genetically modified apple.

Despite this, an apple that is branded as “non-browning” may evoke that image of a fast food burger that appears fresh for weeks on end in the mind of consumers. The danger with this association is that it might lead people to beleive that these apples are just as unhealthy as fast food.

In November 2014, a breed of potato called the Innate Potato was genetically modified “so that less of a chemical called acrylamide, which is suspected of causing cancer in people, is produced when the potato is fried” (The New York Times, “U.S.D.A. Approves Modified Potato. Next Up: French Fry Fans,” 11.07.14). The Food and Drug Administration

Word on the street Which professor would you want to read you a bedtime story?

“Marque Miringoff.”

—Ali Ehrlich ’15

“Professors Firtich and Ungurianu.”

— Nicholas Dynin ’18

—Bryan Van Norden is a professor of philosophy at Vassar College.

Eating GM fruits not a rotten idea after all Sarah Sandler

Page 11

says that acrylamide levels are 50 to 75 percent lower when Innate Potatoes are fried, but as of right now, the effects of the chemical have only been tested in rodents. These potatoes will come in the breeds of Russet Burbank, Ranger Russet and Atlantic, and it is still unclear whether restaurants and fast food chains will incorporate them into their kitchens.

When genetically modified potatoes featuring special characteristics like insect resistence and increased survivability were proposed to companies in the past, they were more or less widely rejected.

In the case of both the Arctic Apple and the Innate Potato, the organism’s own genes are altered, rather than adding genes from other organisms, which is the case for many genetically modified organisms. This important detail will hopefully guide consumers to see these products in a more positive light, as many associated GMOs with those that add genes from other organisms to add new qualities. The apple in this case is still just an apple and the potato is still just a potato, but with added improvements from within the plant’s own DNA. Some genetically modified organisms can have harmful effects, such as damaging cross-pollination, increasing herbicide usage in the environment and generating complicated political fall-out. (Institute for Responsible Technology, “10 Reasons to Avoid GMOs”). It is important that consumers recognize that these effects cannot be generalized to include all genetically modified organisms.

If alterations are made in an eco-friendly way with consumer health benefits in mind, genetic modification can be an efficient and healthy practice. Gene alterations in fruits and vegetables are still in their very early stages, partly due to the stigma the GMO foods carry, but advancements could include benefits in terms of health and convenience for consumers in the future.

—Sarah Sandler ’18 is a student at Vassar College.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

“Barry Lam.” — Jimmy Pavlick ’18

“Nick Adams.”

— Emily Omrod ’16

“Paul Johnson.”

—Wanda Noonan ’16

“Fubing Su.” ­­— Christian Phelps ’16 and Justin Nam ’16

Emma Rosenthal, Arts Editor Sam Pianello, Photo Editor

OPINIONS

Page 12

February 26, 2015

Chip and PIN brings peace of mind to paying in person Delaney Fischer Columnist

L

ast week, I wrote an article that explored the dangers of Internet hackers and found out just how easy it is for your online information to be stolen. This week, while examining another scary zone for hacking, credit cards, I actually have good news to report: The U.S. is getting ready to amp up its credit card game with Chip and PIN Europay, Mastercard and Visa (EMV) technology. It’s happening soon and many aren’t even sure what this means for them as credit card users.

“...the U.S. is getting ready to amp up its credit card game with Chip and PIN...”

Currently, credit cards used in the U.S. have a magnetic stripe, that black strip on the back of your card. The strip, which contains all the consumer’s account information in an unencrypted format, is currently all that’s needed to make a purchase in the United States. Sure, sometimes a notice will come up on the cashier’s screen saying “check signature” or a message that sends “hand card to cashier.” But often cashiers in the U.S. ignore these sort of messages and many, especially small business owners, consider them to be a hassle. As a result, there’s very little tech right now protecting your credit card from fraud. If someone skims the information on your magnetic stripe or even your actual credit card, its incredibly easy for criminals to make pur-

chases with no questions asked. Unfortunately, I’ve already had my credit card information stolen numerous times, and it’s not a fun process trying to change all your account information and call up your bank.

However, starting this October, the U.S. is looking to make using credit cards less risky by implementing this EMV technology. The new credit cards, which have been mandated by an executive order from President Obama, will include a microchip and require consumers to enter a personal identification number (PIN) to complete a purchase. The technology enhances security by ensuring encryption of your credit card’s information that can only be verified with your PIN. In comparing our current credit card technology to the EMV cards, Chris Camejo, director of assessment services for NTT Com Security, puts it in layman’s terms: “Magnetic stripes contain data that is simply read by a swipe terminal as the card passes through, similar to reading a very short piece of a VCR or tape cassette, Rather than just reading data off of the card, the [EMV] terminal sends transaction data to the chip, which processes it with the cryptographic keys and then returns the data to the terminal” (U.S. News, “Coming Next Fall: More Chip and PIN Cards in the U.S.,” 10.28.14).

The Chip and PIN credit card provides consumers with an extra layer of security so to speak—security which is clearly needed. In the past few years credit card hacking has been on the rise and there have been huge credit card breaches at major retailers such as at Target, Home Depot, and Dairy Queen. Credit card breaches have affected hundreds of millions of Americans in recent years (Krebs on Security, 2014-2015).

The Chip and PIN credit card is nothing new, and in fact, has been used in Europe and many parts of the world for over a decade, helping to reduce the amount of fraud taking place. Here are some quick stats since the introduction of EMV technology: In the U.K. a 56 decrease in fraud, in Australia counterfeit fraud is down 38 percent and in Canada there has also been a significant 49 percent drop in fraud since the introduction of EMV (Credit Cards.com, “Online fraud may surge after EMV chip card rollout,” 11.19.14).

“Credit card breaches have affected hundreds of millions of Americans...”

By October 2015, it is predicted 70 percent of Americans will have EMV cards available to them. However, the introduction of the technology to the United States is estimated to cost billions of dollars in having to upgrade all purchasing technology to support the new encryption technology. The price tag is predicted to cause the EMV rollover to take years to be completely implemented. But, retailers are feeling the heat to make the EMV switch sooner rather than later as in October 2015, card companies are shifting liability onto retailers for any sort of fraud relating to signature-based transactions if they haven’t upgraded to the chip technology at that point in time (Forbes, “Is The US Finally Accelerating A Move To Chip And PIN?,” 10.21.14). It should be noted though that if retailers have

not switched over by the time and consumers already have the new cards, they will not be affected. Consumers can simply swipe the E.M.V card’s magnetic strip like they would with a non-EMV credit card; they will just not have the extra encryption security during their transaction (U.S. News, “Coming Next Fall: More Chip and PIN Cards in the U.S.,“ 10.28.14).

While the introduction of this technology is predicted to vastly eliminate identity theft in regards to in-person purchasing, online purchasing risks for an individual are not affected by the change. However, in general it is predicted that online purchasing fraud may increase with implementation of the EMV technology in the U.S., as fraudsters are expected to turn to The Internet for more hacking. Brian Krebs, a journalist and well known investigative reporter, has been vocal with these predictions saying, “Fraud doesn’t go away, it just goes somewhere else, and that somewhere else is always online.

The thieves can still steal the card number and expiration date, which still can be used online.

So that’s generally what will happen. We’ll see a pretty big uptick in card-not-present fraud” (Credit Cards.com, “Online fraud may surge after EMV chip card rollout,” 11.19.14).

Clearly, EMV technology is not going to solve all of our issues with credit card fraud, just as it has in other countries. It is just unfortunate that it has taken the United States so long to implement technology that has been working in other countries for more than a decade. I, personally, am excited for the new cards and am intrigued to see how retailers handle the change. It might be a mess in transition, but hopefully it benefits millions by reducing fraud.

—Delaney Fischer ’15 is a neuroscience major.

The Miscellany Crossword

“Misery Loves Gluttony”

by Collin Knopp−-Schwyn, York Chen and Alycia Beattie

ACROSS

49 Boy King

35 Jumping skate spin

54 Improvise

1 Huffed and puffed

51 Like many a bunch of misfits

37 Female part down low?

55 Romances in verse

5 It froths loins

56 Ab, boob and crotch enhancer

40 Quotidian

56 Simple band

9 Quick, like pudding?

62 A lot of lions

41 525600 minutes

57 Employ

14 One with pants aflame, maybe

63 Resided

46 Pimple goo

58 Above

15 “___ the Woods”

64 Hams it up

48 24 note military tune

59 Care for, as a garden

16 Big Nebraska city

66 Madison Square Garden, for one

50 “___ were the days” -Gramps

60 Cookie baker

17 Uncle Sam’s cut of late Uncle Sam’s wealth

67 When doubled, song with “Que”

52 Miserly quality, perhaps

61 Skeeve

(2 Words)

68 What anyone can do on Wikipedia

53 ~

65 Unit of sunshine

19 Blazin’ it in Colorado

69 Like many a crossword editor

20 Three-toed slowpoke

70 State of being green?

21 Arise from

71 Socialist Eugene who ran for

23 Herr in Portuguese

president in 1920 from prison

25 Granny, to babies 26 Wander

DOWN

29 Knotty

1 Fathers do this

33 Old-fashioned stove

2 “___ joyeuse” (Debussy, 1904)

36 Guilty, maybe

3 “Goldfinger” Bond girl Shirley

38 AWOLNATION hit

4 “___ of the Titans” (2012

39 What 5-Across, 20-Across, 62-Across,

sequel)

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5 14-Across’s statement

42 Word with rug or 51

6 Golden Rule’s second word

43 Location

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44 Author publishing her second novel in 55

8 Sarin, for one

years

9 His ___ (The Pope)

45 Word with coral or colon

10 “The End” (The Pope)

47 Jacket

11 Vaughan Comic that’s “Romeo

Answers to last week’s puzzle

and Juliet” in space 12 Not this, no no.

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MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

HUMOR & SATIRE

February 26, 2015

Page 13

Breaking News

From the desk of Chris Gonzalez, Humor & Satire Editor

~Your Eyebrows~

Not Your Garlic Knot: letter from an irate Bacio’s driver Kayla Lightner Cactus Charmer

T

o the Students of Vassar College,

French kiss a cactus, go back to county (a misunderstanding, really), listen to Nickelback, slurp the raw yolk of an egg through a bendy straw, roll around in manure, eat at the All Campus Dining Center—all things I would rather do (quite fucking gladly, might I add) than go to work.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy making money as much as the next guy, but not if it means delivering greasy garlic knots and over-fried pieces of squid in -2 degree weather with a -35 degree wind chill.

Every evening for the past two months, I’ve had to venture out into that arctic tundra, like I’m on “Survivor” or some shit, just to go across the street and drop off some pizzas.

Because that “Friends” marathon on Netflix is just so earth-shattering that you can’t take five minutes to come pick up your food at the restaurant, right? We know you’re not actually “studying” in the “library” and being “productive” with “friends.”

I should have known something was up when I applied for the job. The only thing the manager seemed to be interested in was if I had a car or not. I told him that my license was revoked (honestly, it was a misunderstanding... just...never mind), but I had a bike that I could use to pedal my happy ass around campus.

I ought to have left right then, though, because he started looking at me the same way my mom looks at a fresh pack of Twinkies. And let me tell you, any situation where someone is eyeing you like a Hostess snack cake they want to devour is not a good one. Nope.

But because I’m such a friggin’ genius, I took the job. Classic me. Little did I know that when he said they were looking for a delivery boy, he actually meant they were looking for a sacrifice­—someone who wouldn’t be missed if they suddenly succumbed to hypothermia.

I believed I would be able handle it, but then my fingers and toes started to turn this bluish-purple (originally, I thought it was because of this new stuff my dealer turned me on to, but I WebMDed it, and now I’m pretty sure it’s frostbite), I can’t feel my lower body, which I’m

pretty sure means I won’t be able to have kids, like ever, and I can’t even cry about it because my tear ducts are frozen.

Believe me, I’ve tried to quit. Ten times actually. But every time I open my mouth, my boss just looks me square in the eye, says, “See you tomorrow, Kevin,” and kisses me on the forehead. Kevin isn’t even my friggin’ name!

And at least buy me an order of garlic knots or a bacon slice first.

So I had no choice but to resort to extreme measures. I tried leaving my bike outside, unchained and unsupervised, hoping that someone would steal it. They didn’t even have to steal the whole thing; just a wheel, the seat, even the goddamn bell on the side would have been enough! But I guess the people who steal bikes have enough sense not to be out in this shit. So, I had to up the ante. Twice I tried to ride my bike the wrong way in the roundabout hoping that someone would hit me with their car. Not enough to kill me, obviously! Just a little nick—a broken collar bone, a fractured rib or two, maybe a mild concussion—so that I’d be able to stay at home. But people just kept honking at me, and I’m pretty sure someone called the police, because I heard sirens in the distance, and I can’t risk having another arrest on my record because...you know what, that’s not important.

I’ve come to terms with it, this blizzardy reality, but I’m not going down without a fight!

I’ll be really shitty at my job until my boss has no choice but to fire me. No, you did not order basil on your pizza, I just happened to drop it on the grass before I gave it to you. Yes, there are fewer garlic knots in your order; I ate six of them before I left the restaurant. If you ask for a calzone, it will probably be a little squished when you get it, as it makes a great seat warmer. Just don’t order the bread sticks at all, you don’t want to know what I do with those. It’s not anything personal, I swear. Unless you’re one of the douchebags who doesn’t tip at all, then it’s entirely personal. Anyways, if you could file a complaint against me of some sort, or give my boss an angry phone call, I’d really appreciate it!

Thanks, Mike D.

Problem? All this snow Solution? Move that shiz Lily Horner A Shovel

W

hen confronted with a problem, there is only one solution: Run away. But what happens when that problem is everywhere you go? And no, I’m not talking about your regrettable hookup with the dude on the Frisbee team.

I’m talking about the snow that is lying in wait for you every time you leave the comfort of the wonderful, warm indoors. The snow is there to remind you: You are not in control, life is futile and going to the Deece won’t be worth the two to five minutes of not being able to feel your face, body or soul.

I am currently working with Buildings and Grounds to try and reuse some of this latent snow to create not only a safer environment, but also a snow-free environment. This not only involves having students take snow into their rooms to act as DIY refrigerators, but also throwing it back into the air, shouting “NO GIVE BACKS!” to the sky in defiance. The second option involves a lot of planning, especially since gravity is working against us. We are devising a large crane that will pick up snow and deposit it back in the atmosphere where it belongs; it should be ready by June of 2043.

Until then, though, you have to do it for a good four or five hours for it to have any impact, but honestly, it’s not like you have anything better to do with your time.

Another idea we are very proud of is a drive we are holding to pack and ship the snow to our family members as a gift for the Ides of March.

“Et tu, [insert name here]?” they will ask as they open their soggy boxes appreciatively. We are encouraging students from Southern California to take an active interest in this drive, and we are discouraging those from the Boston area to participate. Those LA parents won’t know what hit them (yes they will, it’ll be a box of melted snow—let me have this one).

The snow that we are unable to ship to Los Angeles will hopefully be displaced to abandoned buildings throughout Po’Town. We’re hoping the ex-diner for singles in the area will be able to put away two tons of snow. And that’s not all—the deserted, haunted animal shelter looks like a very promising storage location for almost all the snow from Noyes Circle. The only problem there is the ghosts of euthanized

dogs, cats and turtles that will have to find somewhere else to haunt. We are preemptively performing anti-ghost séances and Wiccan rituals every other day to ward off their spirits, and are hoping to increase the frequency of these to every 18 hours to keep the campus safe. But once the snow is excavated from Noyes Circle, turning the land the consistency of a 711 Coke slushie, we’ll finally know happiness.

We handed out pamphlets to all No Such Convention-ers, and asked some to take snow to their respective homes as a token of our gratitude and melting memorabilia for their unforgettable weekend here. Though they did not look very enthusiastic about our pleas, some kindly cosplayers took home a few trash bags of snow, as they understood that every little bit counts. Another plus for them and us is that when the snow melts you can use it to practice water-bending!

Something to watch out for on campus as the snow melts is ice. It exists. Though it’s easy for college students to fall on our tushies and put up no fight to the cocky ice, we must show resilience. When you see ice, do not panic! Please, dear Lord, don’t panic. Just pull out those ice skates we all carry around for these specific emergencies and glide over that ice patch like a boss. If you have trouble imagining how this would work, just think back to your Heelies phase. As my great aunt always says, “You never forget how to pwn on your Heelies, Lily. It’s like a 6th sense.” And you know what?

She’s right. She’s so incredibly right.

If our plans fall into place, this campus should be snow-free and muddy by March 9.

There will be a mudslide competition on the Quad that following Saturday, and everyone can sit back, relax and go for a nice dip in Sludge-set Lake. Please refrain from summoning the Snow Gods at that time, as this will be a celebration of the Mud Gods.

As we displace this inordinate amount of snow, we ask you to be patient and stop peeing in it, for the love of all that is holy. We do not want our volunteers to have to handle this contaminated snow, and as we all know, melted snow that has pee in it is essentially pee. Like, you can’t dilute that—it’s still pee. We do not want to be sliding around in dirt made wet by your drunken pee break. Thanks in advance.

10 Ways You Know You’re Going Too Hard In Your Intramural Sport

by Zander Bashaw, A Ref Among Men

I

ntramural sports are a matter of life or death...for some. Here are 10 signs you’re taking your sport a little too seriously.

1. You celebrate like it is the World Cup

There is really nothing life-changing about lobbing the volleyball over the net for a point. If you find yourself doing a knee slide in Kenyon, or tearing your shirt off and roaring like an unbridled Charizard after a mediocre moment, it’s time to self-reflect.

2. You attempt to hold team practice

The entire point of intramurals is to be able to just play without having to train, but you just don’t seem to get that. Instead, you go to the AFC with cones and a stopwatch, hoping to improve your team’s full court sprint times by 4/10ths of a second.

3. You wear a captain’s armband to the games

People playing on your team for the first

time think you are wearing it ironically, but your teammates know better. They are aware that receiving emails from Imleagues.com addressed to “Captains” has made you feel like Tom Brady playing in the Super Bowl.

4. You spend hours online customizing team uniforms

Even the first timed you joked with your teammates about how “sick” it would be to get team gear, they only sort of laughed. Still, you keep bringing it up, and stay up every night designing practice kits, home and away jerseys, and custom socks.

5. You injure other players

The first time that you spiked a ball into a kid’s face and gave him a bloody nose, people thought it was bad luck. But now it seems that every game you are involved in collisions or clashes that leave other players or yourself out for the count. EMS begins to

double their personnel on call during your games.

6. You heckle the scorekeepers and refs

The student employment office is having a hard time finding students willing to staff your games. This is because every week you shout at your peers working the games claiming they “Don’t understand what a foul is,” or “Obviously never played the sport.”

7. You start skipping class to train for your sport

You transitioned from “student who played varsity sports in high school” to fullblown athlete, cruising past the “student-athlete” stage. It starts with skipping Italian for wind sprints, and ends with you trying to explain to the Administration how Intramural Badminton is definitely worth a total of 2.5 academic credits, and, in fact, you’re going to major in it. No ifs, ands or buts about it.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

8. You create a Fantasy Intramural League

Now you can be a huge dick even when you aren’t on the field! Better yet, it gives you an excuse to track absurd stats such as “total touches” and “movements off the ball” even for the other team. Of course, you would draft yourself in the first round.

9. You begin requesting monetary contracts from Vassar

Hinting that Union has a strong Intramural program, you insist that Vassar free up some capital to keep you in Po-town. In a series of strongly worded emails, you make it clear that you need to be compensated for the prestige you bring the league, and to pay for your pre-ordered $380 uniform set.

10. You come up with the top 10 signs that someone is going too hard in an intramural sport, but remain blind to the fact that at least four of them apply to you.

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February 26, 2015

Prophet navigates college campus in new VCTV series Yifan Wang

F

Reporter

Cassady Bergevin/The Miscellany News

or the younger generations, religion probably means very different things than it did for our parents. This year, Vassar College Television’s (VCTV) new series, “God Only Knows,” starring Meghan McDonell ’17, Tonya Ingerson ’18, Joseph Syzmanski ’17 and Imani Russell ’18 seeks to address such matters as religion, spirituality and belief. The premiere episode was shown first at Modfest on Feb. 13.

An improved cut was then screened this past Sunday, Feb. 22 during the Oscars screening collectively held by Vassar Filmmakers and the Film Major Committee.

“God Only Knows” tells the story of a young prophet, Jess, chosen by God to revitalize religion to her peers in college. Along the way, Jess gradually discovers the importance and meaning of life.

The show’s creator, Harris Gurny ’17, came up with the idea of a college prophet at the end of his freshman year. “Last May, I was studying for finals with my friend James Pedersen when I thought of an idea about what it would be like to have a prophet at a liberal arts college. Without thinking much about it, I blurted out my idea, and we then spent the next three hours creating what became ‘God Only Knows’ instead of studying. I wrote a first draft over the summer, and James wrote a second draft in September. It was truly a work of collaboration,” he wrote in an emailed statement.

As Director of Production and Series Creator, Gurny is not only responsible for what happens on site, but also for the entire operations of the project.

“I ensure that the creative vision for the series prevails through all stages of production. I go to weekly writers, producers, directors, editors and exec board meetings to ensure that the intention of one branch isn’t lost in translation by another branch. There’s a lot more that goes into making television than what meets the eye. As Director of Production, I supervise shoots, run production meetings and instruct crew.”

At the same time, Co-director of Pre-Production Ashley Hoyle ’18 (full disclosure: Hoyle is a reporter for The Miscellany News) works to ensure that shoots can take place as planned. “It’s my job to deal with all logistics involving shooting the episode. We are responsible for coordinating actors’ schedules,

communicating location and times to the org, making sure all props and food for our crew are on set, and of course, budgeting time and making sure we stay on schedule,” she explained.

Moreover, both Gurny and Hoyle point out that the series is a result of collective efforts.

Four branches of people work together to produce an episode, including writers, producers, directors and editors. Writers split into groups of three to make a draft of the episode that the whole branch then edits. Producers meet weekly to prepare for shoots. Directors decide together the creative direction of the shoots and direct on site. Then editors cut the footage into the final product. “There is a lot of communication and help across branches and each of us is pretty entrenched in every aspect of the process!” Hoyle commented.

Gurny added, “There are 44 names on the credits list of ‘God Only Knows.’ If you go to Vassar, chances are you know one of them, and they all worked hard to get this on the web.”

While the emphasis on collaboration allows VCTV’s members to gain specific experience in different branches of production, it also poses sometines difficult challenges in communication and teamwork. “VCTV is a very big organization, which makes the job harder since everyone has to be on the same page.

The greatest lesson I have taken away from my experience at VCTV is the importance of effective communication,” Gurny explained.

As the leading actress who plays Jess, “God Only Knows” is McDonell’s first time acting in a film. She found it quite different from her previous acting experiences.

“I auditioned for the series because I didn’t have any film acting experience and thought it’d be fun to try it out. I’ve been acting in a theatrical context for years, and film is so much different. It forces you to dissect each scene into so many little pieces and perform each one repeatedly, out of context, and out of chronological order. It requires a lot of focus to stay present and engaged, especially by the fifth or sixth take of a single shot,” she said.

Russell, who plays the prophet’s friend Paulina also shared her opinion on the script and her acting experiences. “I think the script is very clever. I am playing a stoner friend and that is pretty new for me—life and role wise— but I think my character is funny and also super clever, and I enjoy getting to be someone

The cast and crew of “God Only Knows” prepare their new VCTV series for the 2014-2015 year.

The series tackles issues of religion and spirituality, bringing in many different experiences with God. else for a little bit,“ she explained.

VCTV produces one series each year and to many of its members, such routine productions provide important opportunities to gain hands-on experiences in filmmaking.

“The greatest part of producing a series every year is that members can get an enormous amount of real, valuable hands-on experience in television production. Being a part of VCTV is a tremendously valuable learning experience, and shooting a series is a great way to gain experience in all aspects of production,” Hoyle wrote.

For some, it also serves as a social opportunity. “I think this webseries is a good way for me to meet new people on campus and work on my acting. I’m a freshman so this is all very new to me,“ Russell said.

Ultimately, the people working on “God Only Knows” see the series as a work that not only deals with broad questions of spirituality and religious matters, but also is relatable

for Vassar students. “I think ‘God Only Knows’ raises a lot of questions about spirituality, meaning and relationships. In addition to being set on a campus similar to our own. I think it will help people think critically about the state of things at Vassar,” Hoyle commented.

Gurny elaborated on the specific theme of the work. “‘God Only Knows’ is a show that could only work at a school like Vassar College, where atheism is the norm. It is about the mediation of hipsterdom and religion, and whether the two are mutually exclusive. I suppose it was the bizarre juxtaposition of these two concepts—somewhat pretentious liberal arts students and a spiritual movement—that originally interested me. This is a secular show; it’s not about god, it’s about the characters and how they react to their revelation.”

He continued, “‘God Only Knows’ is very self-conscious of the fact that it is a show set on Vassar’s campus; I think every Vassar student can relate to it.”

Raunchy Cabaret generates funds, musical momentum Connor McIlwain Guest Reporter

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picks musical theater songs to fit that theme.”

This year, Walczyk chose for the Cabaret to have a more sensual feel, choosing to have all of the songs be about sex.

“We’re playing around with gender-bending some well-known contemporary numbers and highlighting the now-hilarious innuendo in more classic songs,” she said. The raunchy theme is bound to rouse the audience. “People at this cabaret will probably be constantly wondering why it’s so hot in the Aula,” said Eykholt of “Let’s Talk about Sex, Baby!”

Audiences will be able to get a sneak peak of FWA’s upcoming shows. The Cabaret includes previews of both “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee” and “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.” Per the name “Dessert Cabaret,” the audience will also have plenty of

courtesy of Imani Russell

assar’s only theater group dedicated exclusively to musical theater, Future Waitstaff of America (FWA), is putting on their annual Dessert Cabaret. The performance will take place on Sunday, March 1, at 6 p.m. in the Aula. Tickets will be available at the door, as well as the FWA tabling in the College Center every Monday, Wednesday and Friday until the performance.

“FWA produces two musicals every semester, all of which are completely directed, designed and acted by students,” said Ryan Eykholt ’17, who serves as the organization’s Public Relations Executive. “I am on the board of FWA as the Public Relations Executive, so I’m basically in charge of the promotion of shows and events on social media and around campus,” he elaborated.

This semester, FWA will produce “The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee,” directed

by Mackenzie Cole ’17, and “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street,” directed by Talia Feldberg ’16. Preparations for both shows are underway–both were cast last weekend and will debut later in the semester.

In addition to these two routine productions, FWA also holds several special events throughout the semester. Dylan Bolduc ’15, FWA’s Special Events Manager, is in charge of all of the events FWA puts on besides the 2 full length shows. She explains, “These special events include the Cabaret that happens every semester. In past years we have done student written musicals as special events as well as the Beyoncé musical.”

The Cabaret serves as a fundraising event for the organization’s larger projects and productions throughout the year. “In order to help these shows reach their full potential, we have a cabaret night once a semester as a fundraiser for our or-

ganization,” says Eykholt.

The director of Cabaret this year, Elyse Walczyk ‘16, elaborated on the event’s fundraising function for the organization. “The FWA Dessert Cabaret is an event held early on in each semester as a fundraiser for the semester’s full-length productions. We sell desserts and tickets before and the day of the event, putting the earnings toward these larger projects.” says Walczyk.

Bolduc, who directed the Cabaret in 2014 pointed out the difference between the Cabaret and FWA’s regularly planned productions, “The Cabaret has a pretty short rehearsal process, usually about 2 weeks long. It’s much shorter than full-length productions.”

Each year, the musical piece will be constructed around a overall theme. Bolduc said, “Each semester has a different theme and the director

FWA members sing in a quartet for a performance in Villard during last semester’s musical season.

The organization gets ready to host Cabaret which will focus on fundraising and gaining enthusiasm.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

baked goods to snack on throughout the show.

FWA is made up of a close-knit group of musical performers. The group was founded in 2005 and stood out for its intended focus on musical theater. Bolduc joined the organization during her freshman year at Vassar and has worked in many capacities since. “I have stage managed, production managed and choreographed FWA musicals,” she explained.

Bolduc’s colleagues echo her positive sentiments on their experiences in FWA. Walczyk noted that she chose to direct the Cabaret this year to keep involved within the organization, “On a more personal level, I had hoped to get to direct this semester’s cabaret as a way of maintaining my involvement with FWA. As an organization, it’s given me numerous opportunities to explore elements of theatre production I would likely have never encountered otherwise.”

She continued, “FWA has also been the origin of many of my closest friendships at Vassar, so I suppose there’s a bit of a sentimental aspect to this as well. Additionally, during a period in which I’m readjusting from my semester abroad, the cabaret is an excellent way to meet students new to FWA this year and to reconnect with the existing community.”

This year’s Cabaret offers a blend of sexthemed songs; “Come out for an evening of sexy puns, delicious desserts, and outrageously talented vocalists,” encouraged Walczyk.

Ultimately, FWA hopes the Cabaret will not only help support their projects later in the semester, but also draw the attention of more potential audiences on and off-campus.. “These productions go up later in the semester and are sure to be excellent, so I’d highly recommend reaching out to the directors closer to the dates of their shows.” Walczyk commented.

February 26, 2015

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Sara Kohno unites musical traditions in perfect harmony Emma Rosenthal

W

Arts Editor

courtesy of Dave Golden

hen one thinks of Japanese culture and music, bluegrass wouldn’t be what normally comes to mind. For Sara Kohno, however, those two blend together perfectly.

Sara Kohno, who performed at the Crafted Kup on Wednesday, Feb. 25 with her band, Pirates Canoe, had her first taste of bluegrass music in Poughkeepsie with the Hudson Valley Bluegrass Association (HVBA).

The HVBA, which was founded in 1994

by Jeff Anzevino, has a large following not only in the Hudson Valley area, but across the country and even the world. Program director of HVBA educational and concert events, Lynn Lipton, recalled the genesis of the association. She said, “[Anzevino] decided to gather together some people who loved bluegrass music–to get us all together. And he did that... And the organization over the years has grown substantially. We’re now...approximately 300 members spread out over the Mid-Hudson area who either play bluegrass or absolutely love it and want to follow what’s going on.”

As an integral part of the networking for HVBA and an instrumental part of HVBA’s expansion, Lipton helped grow the Association’s online presence.

“One of the things we did in 2007 was we went digital. We started a website...which now has people all over the world on this website.

We get notes from Germany, Sweden, Japan.

It’s become a really important website in the bluegrass community and our organization has grown to the point where...our mission is to really educate the public and...spread the word about bluegrass music,” said Lipton.

She continued, “In keeping with our mission, we have given courses in local high schools, we’ve given programs to senior citizens...we have a YouTube channel which has two courses on the evolution of bluegrass.”

President of the HVBA, David Angell, spoke about his experience with the association and how it has transformed since he initially joined. He said, “I’ve been a member since somewhere like 1997 or ‘98. I am the president right now, and this is my second two-year term and this is my last year of it. So that means I’ve been the president for three years and two months. And we have grown from our early days.”

While Angell credits the Association’s online growth to Lipton and nodded to what she has done to expand their reach, he has also had an important role in expanding other aspects of the organization. Angell commented, “If there’s anything perhaps that I might have personally done that’s been positive, [it] has been to try to take the business end of the Association and formalize some of the proce-

dures in terms of making sure that we keep up with our taxes, our tax exempt status, making sure that during meetings all the voices are heard, making sure that before we go forward on anything that we really all want to do that.”

As a strong organization with more range and support than when they began, the HVBA is now able to host bands more frequently.

This is where Sara Kohno and her band make an entrance.

Lipton remembered Kohno’s first experience with the HVBA. She said, “In 2008, we were having one of our community open jams down at...a marina down on the river called the Pirate Canoe Club...One summer night a young woman walked in. She was Japanese, she came in with a mandolin. She spoke virtually no English, a few words. She had never played bluegrass before...we looked at her, ‘do you want to take a turn?’”

Lipton continued, “Bluegrass music is about not just playing together but allowing the individual to shine. So the most amazing thing happened, we expected her to fumble around and maybe say ‘Oh, never mind,’ but she played the most amazing break that I have heard and she continued to do that throughout the evening. She was just incredible.”

Although the night that Kohno showed up to the jam was her introduction into the HVBA, Anzevino had connections with her before that. “I met Sara through my friend Youko Yammamoto. Youko is the brains behind Gomen Kudasai, an amazing Japanese noodle house in New Paltz. Youko is Sara’s mom’s friend and Sara, who I understood played mandolin, was coming from Japan to visit America,” he said.

Anzevino continued, “She joined us at the Hudson Valley Bluegrass Association jams– then held at the Pirate Canoe Club. She was so moved by everyone’s openness and [her] experiences at our jams, when she returned to Japan she named her band Pirates Canoe,” he said Angell also witnessed her musical skills at the Pirate Canoe Club, and spoke to her ability as a beginner. “You know how a person learns somebody else’s language and they can speak it, but it isn’t until they start speaking slang that you think they actually understand your language, [when] they can use phrases and slang and urban dialects and actually fit it in appropriately. And that was the most surprising thing about Sara,” said Angell, “I was just totally blown away because not only did she play a melody along with [us], but then when she took her turn to improvise, she was throwing in blue notes and doing these arpeggios that were tastefully done.

And that was to me like, ‘Woah!’ This girl can’t speak a word of English but she can talk to us musically.”

The Hudson Valley Bluegrass Association welcomed Sara Kohno to their community jam session in 2008, sparking her interest in the genre and kicking off a career in the style of music.

After this inaugural experience in Hudson Valley’s world of bluegrass music, Kohno remained involved in the HVBA for the rest of her time in the United States, forging relationships with many members of the HVBA. Lipton reflected on the time she spent with Kohno while they both worked in the Hudson Valley, saying, “My husband and I invited her to go with us to a bluegrass festival two weeks after meeting her and...We became really good friends. She was only here for three months to see the country and she was working in New Paltz.”

Anzevino also fondly remembered a special moment he was able to share with Kohno,

courtesy of Dave Golden

After a successful solo bluegrass album released in Japan, Kohno reached out to other musicians to create a band with an Americana-infused music style. Pirates Canoe will be performing all over the United States, with multiple stops in the Hudson Valley, where Kohno’s love for bluegrass blossomed.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

furthering Angell’s point about connecting through music. “I’ll never forget the time we walked across the Walkway and down through Poughkeepsie and past the train station. There, a young woman was skipping quite happily along. Sara was surprised as she’d never seen anyone skip before. I explained to about skipping and sung her that old chestnut, ‘Skip to My Lou..’ When we got instruments out and began to play, I showed her the song and she ripped off a totally bluegrass infused improvisation,” said Anzevino.

After three months, Kohno went back to Japan, but she kept bluegrass music and the Hudson Valley with her when she left. Lipton said, “After she got back to [Japan], she put out a record that had a song on it called ‘Pirate’s Canoe.’ It was sweet. Then she got another record contract and she started her own band and called it Pirates Canoe, which touches my heart because it meant that Hudson Valley and that visit meant so much to her in terms of her own musical growth.”

Although Kohno’s performance at the Crafted Kup has passed, there are still two more remaining opportunities to see her band perform in the Hudson Valley area (Gomen Kudasai in New Paltz, and the Falcon in Marlboro) and two in New York City (The Bitter End in Greenwich Village and Pete’s Candy Store in Brooklyn).

Anzevino noted other stops on their tour in the United States, “She’s in America with her band to play at SxSW in Austin, Texas.

Before that, though, Pirates Canoe is touring: in Brooklyn, Ashville, N.C., Madison and Milwaukee, Wis. and Hudson Valley.”

Pirates Canoe describes their unique sound on the poster for their tour. It reads, “Americana music from Japan. You have to hear it to believe it.” Anzevino, who plays the Dobro, a resonator guitar, shared his own attempt to describe Kohno and the styles of her band, “To try to define Sara’s music would be to do her an injustice. Sara loves bluegrass but has really spread her wings and expanded her style. Perhaps one might start describing Sara’s music as a form of Pan Pacific–with roots in Appalachian, folk, rock and, obviously Japanese influence.”

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February 26, 2015

Cult musical No grey area: ‘Fifty Shades’ falls flat with translates unconvincing, passionless performances well to screen Palak Patel

Editor-in-Chief

Chris Gonzalez

Fifty Shades of Grey Sam Taylor-Johnson Focus Features

Humor and Satire Editor

The Last Five Years Richard LaGravanese Grand Peaks Entertainment

I

’m a romantic at heart. In spite of my loneliness and reservations about the world, I root for those who find love and hurt when they lose it. However, I much prefer fiction that takes us through the heartbreak and fallout of a relationship, rather than from a mere meet-cute to some cheesy happily ever after.

It’s the very reason why I love Jason Robert Brown’s musical “The Last Five Years,” recently adapted into a film by screenwriter and director Richard LeGrevanese. It’s the antithesis to the modern rom-com; there is no happy ending, and somehow that’s okay.

“The Last Five Years” is universal in its specificity: it follows the deconstructed love affair of rising novelist Jamie Wellerstein (Jeremy Jordan) and struggling actress Cathy Hiatt (Anna Kendrick).

Cathy’s story moves backwards through time, while Jamie’s moves forwards; the two only interact once, when their timelines converge at the moment they say “I do.”

Kendrick soars in her role as Cathy. She is determined, has a fire in her spirit, captures the character’s dry sense of humor and really embodies what it means to be broken down by your own insecurities. No, her vocals aren’t always spot on—in most cases she relies too heavily on her belt, which risks reaching shrill levels, to carry her straight through the numbers. Still, she makes the most of every second, capturing Cathy’s emotional state in any given moment. Even when the attention shifts to Jordan, Kendrick’s reactions to him and understanding of subtlety allows her to seamlessly steal his scenes.

Film acting, in fact, clearly suits Kendrick more than Broadway veteran Jordan. Jordan is capable of accomplishing vocal gymnastics throughout the film, so there’s no question that he can sing the role of Jamie. But his Jamie is pigheaded and lacks a charm needed for the audience to sympathize with him from beginning to end. During moments of high tension, he falls into hammy acting choices, gesticulating wildly and yelling more than singing, performing for an audience rather than focusing on engaging with Kendrick. The conversational, genuine tone of the original soundtrack is sometimes obscured, too, but when Jordan kerns it back and lets himself be vulnerable, it works.

Of all the choices made during the transition from stage to film, the decision to place Jamie and Cathy in almost every scene together is the most different. I understand why this needed to be done— on screen, they need to interact. In isolating the characters on stage, we get the sense that neither is ever on the same page, but in the film we see it more as neither character is ever actually listening to the other one. Jamie lunges himself at Cathy when she’s expressing her most vulnerable thoughts during “I Can Do Better Than That”; Cathy’s snide remarks belittle Jamie’s efforts to cheer her up during “The Schmuel Song.” We get to see Cathy and Jamie as an actual couple, which answers the question of what they ever saw in one another to begin with and makes painfully obvious how one could be unaware of the other person’s hurting.

The dialogue may be clunky and superfluous at times, and the transitions could have been smoothed out in the editing process to reduce confusion about the switching timelines and chronological errors. I think these issues lie in the material itself: it’s meant for the stage, so as valiant an effort as LeGravenese made, the film would never be able to get it all right.

But what he does get right is applaudable: The film expands the world of Jamie and Cathy. Stripped down and minimalist, the original staging of “The Last Five Years” would have failed to thrive on screen. The movie is able take us through New York and to the pier in Ohio; it’s filled with bold, radiant colors that breathe new life into the familiar songs.

As their love dwindles, so too do the colors fade. For an indie film, it looks like it was produced with a Hollywood budget.

I doubt I’ll buy the movie’s soundtrack—the original is packed with richer vocals and brilliant transitions, but overall, the film is a beautiful homage, one worth watching until these songs never leave you.

F

ace it, everyone, you all saw “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Don’t try to lie about it, we all know it’s true. As one of the most-hyped movies in recent years, it’s no surprise that so many people willingly chose to face the box office. Yes, I was one of those people.

I’m a romantic.

I went into the movie theater with below-zero expectations. This movie was going to be bad, no doubt about it. This assumption was proven within the first five minutes when we see a montage of Christian Grey (played by Jamie Dornan) and Anastasia Steele (relative newcomer Dakota Johnson) getting ready. We get it, Sam Taylor-Johnson, they are completely different. Of course, the momentous meeting of Christian and Ana is met with a tumble on Ana’s part. Everyone in the theater laughed; I cringed.

From there, the movie did not get better.

From the obvious pencil-to-Ana’s-lips imagery to Christian Grey’s grey, grey life, nothing about this movie was subtle. The script was fairly basic and probably would have made for some cutesy dialogue with any other actors, but the leads of “Fifty Shades” just did not have chemistry. Dakota Johnson tried her hardest to come off as charming, but working alongside Jamie Dornan failed to really make the relationship work. It doesn’t help that Dornan thought playing mysterious actually meant emotionless, empty and creepy. Multiple times through-

out the movie, I really thought Christian was just going to kill Ana and bury her in the woods because he definitely came off as a serial killer. It’s true that Dornan plays a serial killer in the BBC drama “The Fall,” but come on, Dornan, you have to be a better actor than this. I really think screenwriter Kelly Marcel was in on the joke since she literally had a scene with Dornan purchasing rope, tape and cable ties at Ana’s work. Ana literally says, “You’re the complete serial killer.”

The trip from print to screen was fairly kind to the story. Thankfully, we lose the internal monologue that is oft-mocked from the novel. Filmgoers do not have to meet Ana’s inner goddess.

“Everyone in the theater laughed; I cringed.”

Aside from the script, the movie was simply and beautifully shot. Taylor-Johnson didn’t go with any obscure or complex camera angles, but instead chose to keep her cinematography uncomplicated. By keeping things straightforward in the film, Taylor-Johnson was setting herself up to make a far better movie than book deserves. It’s no classic, but I can venture to say it’s better than the books (which I have not read, FYI).

Given the hype regarding the film, it’s fairly tame. The sex scenes are tastefully shot. Johnson spent a good percentage of the movie naked, basically showing every part of her body a rated R movie could, and we even get a smidge of penis on Dornan’s

part (but not nearly enough male nudity in comparison to Johnson’s). The movie gave its audience what they wanted, even if it was a watered-down version of the novels infamous lasciviousness.

Taylor-Johnson and author E.L. James notoriously fought about everything during the production of the movie. Taylor-Johnson had a more feminist approach to the film, trying to imbue meek Ana with more personality and backbone than the novel’s version. She succeeds in some senses, showing multiple scenes were Ana very clearly says no to Christian’s pleas as well as her enthusiasm when they do have sex. Considering the movie’s ending, Ana clearly knows what she can and cannot handle.

What it comes down to it, though, this movie was ultimately boring. There’s no plot whatsoever. Christian Grey famously states that he doesn’t do romance, but he spends the entire movie romancing Ana, so we fail to see any real conflict within the characters. Christian wants to have sex with Ana. Ana says no. Christian romances Ana. Ana starts to like Christian. They have sex. They (miraculously) fall in love. That’s basically the entire film in a nutshell. What’s worse is that said romance isn’t really that romantic.

Christian is far too creepy to ever be considered attractive, interesting or romantic.

Putting this film out on Valentine’s day was a bold move because this film is the least romantic thing I can think of, but maybe I have a different idea of romance than the millions of people who chose to attend this film on Valentine’s Day. If you haven’t seen “Fifty Shades of Grey,” you haven’t missed anything. While visually appealing, the film fell short of even my low expectations. Honestly, we are all better off watching “Twilight.”

‘Dis/Locating Home/Towns’ makes debut HOMETOWN continued from page 1 perience interacting with the idea of a “hometown” as a senior and through this series.

She said, “I am a member of Britomartis and I heard about the project through Kevin and thought it would be an interesting way to explore my relationship with home which feels especially different now that I’m in my last semester of college.”

As a performer in the series and an English major, Katie Ewan ’15, commented on her view of the series and how she got involved, “This project provided the artists and larger campus community the opportunity to engage with the notion of a ‘hometown.’ Kevin’s vision offered participants a chance to examine more closely what is meant by home, by belonging, by memory, and by place-shaped identity... I helped to host the library/collaboratory space, and read a portion of my creative writing thesis on Saturday night.”

While the description may seem abstract, Ritter explained the background behind and motivation for hosting this series, which was surprisingly not even close to his hometown.

Ritter wrote, “When I was studying abroad in London, I became quite homesick for Cleveland, Ohio, where I grew up. I became really obsessed with hanging out in this neighborhood in East London called Hackney Wick, which has a bunch of disused manufacturing and warehouse spaces. I really liked Hackney Wick because it looked a lot like Cleveland, but really didn’t have much to do with Cleveland. It aesthetically comforted me in a way.”

He continued, “In retrospect, I started to think about the ways that I was constructing my own idea of home, hinging mostly on the aesthetics of buildings, whereas another person’s understanding of Cleveland...could be quite different.”

With the inspiration budding from his reflections during his trip abroad, he turned his personal musings into more collaborative and interconnected idea. He said, “I also wanted to explore the ways that the American notion of the hometown is rooted in a nostalgia that doesn’t always cross classed, racial or gen-

dered boundaries. Through bringing together a range of artists from a range of places, disciplines, and experiences, I hope to create a diverse understanding of the ways we construct our idea of home and heritage.”

He approached the idea of diversity from many different angles, “I tried to find presenters working in a variety of disciplines: performance art, creative non-fiction, poetry, storytelling, etc. I also wanted to feature students from a variety of places in the world. It was important to me to bring in a voice from outside of Vassar, so I reached out to performance artist Mette Loulou von Kohl to bring her gorgeous piece about her grandmother and Palestine, ‘As If They Were Mine’ to campus as part of the event.”

As a featured artist in the series, as well as a spectator of the event, Ewan noted the difference and diversity between the performers, especially in conjunction with her own experience. She wrote, “Many of the performers’ notions of hometown included both stunning and stark cityscapes, as well as the memories associated with moving from place to place.”

Another presenter in the series and a member of Britomartis, Derek Butterton ’15 wrote about his thoughts on the unique performances arranged by Ritter, “I was one of the presenters in the series. I talked about my hometown of Newton, Massachusetts, both as the namesake of the Fig Newton and as the site of several formative elementary school experiences...My favorite part of the process was listening to the stories of the other artists and discovering the great diversity of our conceptions of home and the ways in which our upbringing impacts us today.”

On a more individual level, Ewan noted, “Personally, I feel deeply rooted to my home of Kentucky, to its people but perhaps even more strongly to its landscapes. My writing focuses on the land as a key and influential character, and attempts to explore how natural places both literally and metaphorically shape our notions of ourselves and our homes.”

Negrete was also able to speak to the participation in this series, as a look at herself and

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

others’ experiences. She said, “I cultivated and created my own piece about my hometown and brought it to Kevin. We workshopped it a little and decided to jump right in knowing that all work is a work in progress...Each contributor brought severe individuality. We spoke and wrote from experience about something deeply personal and everyone was brave in that respect.”

Ritter was able to bring this idea of his to fruition with the help of other students as well as other groups and organizations at Vassar, showing the true support for student projects and ideas. Ritter commented, “I then applied for use of the Collaboratory, Creative Arts Across Disciplines’ new trailer space, and was approved! The great thing about CAAD’s program is that you don’t have to go through an org or department to use the space, so I initially was organizing the event by myself, but eventually reached out for financial co-sponsorship from the departments of English, Drama, and Urban Studies, Philaletheis, Unbound and Britomartis.”

With the support from these organizations, Ritter was able not only to engage many more students in the performance aspect of his show, but was also able to include the audience in the series. “I also came to the realization that the event couldn’t exist solely as a performance series to fully encompass the many constructions of the hometown, so I added a library component, filled with books that informed my thinking in curating the event, and a participatory art piece, where I asked visitors to draw maps of their own hometowns in order to further engage with the public and the idea behind the show,” Ritter said.

As a testament to the success of this idea, process and final product which Ritter was able to bring to the community, Ewan commented on the experience after the series, “I think Kevin did a great job. This was such a creative idea, and definitely an ambitious undertaking, but I think the event ultimately–and successfully–looked at the notion of “hometowns” from multiple, vastly different but equally illuminating perspectives.”

ARTS

February 26, 2015

Page 17

Murder mystery’s next suspect: Brooklyn Reid Antin

Guest Columnist

Wild Canaries Lawrence Michael Levine Lawrence Michael Levine

O

wing more than a little to Woody Allen’s minor but entertaining “Manhattan Murder Mystery,” Lawrence Michael Levine’s latest film “Wild Canaries” (in which he writes, directs and stars) captures the current gestalt of romance in Brooklyn and casts it within the genre of the murder mystery. Indeed, the film also has roots that go as far back as the 1934 classic “The Thin Man,” with its main characters essentially being modern hipster versions of Nick and Nora Charles.

One of the film’s main attributes, flaws and all, is just how refreshing it feels within its constantly light but not trite flavor. It manages to present characters who very much live in today’s age (or struggle to, such as in a running joke where the main character simply can’t manage to figure out how to swipe his iPhone in order to answer it), but it does so totally as a studio picture from the ‘40s would.

In classic screwball comedy whodunit form, the story follows a young, everyday couple–Noah (Levine) and Barri (Sophia Takal, the producer and Levine’s real-life wife)–who are quickly ensnared into a sinister plot after the death of the kindly old woman upstairs.

But to recount the plot would be merely to make you yawn with familiarity–it is only a generic springboard whereby Levine can, as he has said himself, air out his hypothetical thoughts and fears about his own real-life romance with Takal.

The charm of this film is in its details and subplots–such as a surprisingly well-honed representation of unrequited homosexual yearning that Barri’s friend Jean (“Arrested Development”’s Alia Shawkat) has for her. The absolutely killer opening credits sequence straight out of a Blake Edwards romp from the ‘60s also did wonders in

Campus Canvas

arousing my interest and turning me on to its whimsical tone.

And of course, one must mention the filmmaker’s playful fetishizing of the camera iris, whereby an object is circularly isolated on the screen, surrounded by black (think the opening of a Bond film).

The film is not without its faults–there are certainly places where it could have been trimmed here and there, and it definitely could have used some more sharply dramatic turns and moments of irony to bring it to a plateau of genre-mashing worthy of the Coen brothers. But perhaps it is precisely this meandering that allows for a comfortable sense of reality to set in amongst the film’s plot that remains high-concept on the surface.

Considering that it was made for a mere $200,000, it is astounding that the film looks as polished as any mid-range comedy on screens today, but with a lack of distracting stars and a truthfulness that such bigger budget films are sorely missing. It is filled with many ambitious floating master shots that occasionally manage to shock the audience with their striking composition.

Levine’s own favorite shot­s—Steadicam snapshot that follows his character on a rooftop through a series of very geometric, triangular architecture—pops off the screen with a completely earned flamboyance. The same can be said for one of the film’s closing shots–a backwards two-person tracking shot whereby the overly complicated mystery is explained in an intentionally expository way, which embraces a characteristic cliché of the genre.

One of the most intriguing moments in particular feels disconnected from the rest of the film, though its consequences do ultimately play a role in the climax. To say nothing of its context, it simply involves a married man and woman (not our protagonists), in which the woman is kicking the man out of the house. They fight viciously, and after much back-and-forth , they end up sprawled on the pavement just outside of their building.

In one single shot, we see the man hold the woman down in struggle, but then he

stops. He gently kisses her, and we think that this has all been just a silly fight. But then the woman coldly retaliates and viscously spits right back in his face. Angered, but still slightly playful, the man wipes the spit off of his face and rubs it all in her face, causing her to groan as he gets himself off the ground, and into the next shot.

Just by itself, to neither condone nor condemn the actions of either party, the shot really struck me as a portrait of the sometimes screwed up interactions that occur between two people who love each other.

Additionally it put a spotlight to how love and hate can oscillate so extremely by fractions of a second.

It’s certainly nothing new, and it definitely isn’t a positive portrait of how such interactions should go–but for some ineffable reason, the fact that such ideas were captured in one shot really spoke to me, and while nearly inconsequential to the rest of the film, the moment deserves to be highlighted, as I doubt any other critics will spend time considering it..

The film belongs to the recent cinematic movement that I like to call the “Brooklyn New Wave,” where, to give more famous examples, the likes of Lena Dunham (who acted in Levine’s previous work, “Gabi On The Roof In July”), and Joe Swanberg, make low-budget films that represent hipsterdom in Brooklyn today.

This type of film has more broadly been referred to as mumblecore. But I feel that because there is a certain subset of mumblecore that uses Brooklyn itself as a character (much like how Woody Allen would use Manhattan)–from references to the Nitehawk Cinema, to the omnipresent Manhattan skyline across the river to remind us how separate this world is from the more traditional view of New York–that this film and others like it deserve to fall into such a category that I just coined.

All in all, if you’re hanging out in the Village sometime in the next few weeks, you could do worse than getting an espresso at Café Reggio, grabbing a slice from Joe’s and heading over to the IFC Center to see the delightful “Wild Canaries.”

A weekly space highlighting the creative pursuits of student-artists

Excuse me, Who should be the next host of The Daily Show?

“Joel Osteen.” ­­— C.c. Stallings ’18

“Us.” — Kariel Granger ’17 and Saskia Comess ’17

“Squidward.”

— Nancy Chen ’18

submit to misc@vassar.edu

“Sia with bangs over her eyes.”

— Julli Taveras ’16 and Nathaniel Edgar ’16

For this piece, I was inspired by William Holbrook Beard’s painting, “Give Up That Egg.” Most of his paintings are satires of animals engaged in human activities, which I find convey strong messages in a lighthearted tone. My piece is a satire and continuation of the story told in Beard’s piece. It depicts a cross-section of the stolen egg and shows my creative interpretation of life inside it in a way that represents humans corrupting nature. Oftentimes animals on commercial farms are fed meat of their own kind, which gave me the idea to serve the goose its eggs. I chose a café as the setting to satirize how humans take over the natural environment of animals, by reversing it to show an animal invading human territory.

-Lauren DiFazio ’18

“W. Kamau Bell.”

— Lillian Talish ’16

“Lil.” — Madeleine McCarthy ’16

Chris Gonzalez, Humor & Satire Editor Sam Pianello, Photo Editor

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

SPORTS

Page 18

February 26, 2015

Rookie talent looks to cause racket in Liberty League Ashley Hoyle

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Reporter

courtesy of Vassar College Athletics

he women have had a strong start to their year with a 2-1 record thus far. They have set specific goals to make sure to continue it.

Senior player Ava Sadeghi from Glendale, Calif., said, “My goals this year for the VC women’s tennis team is to win the Liberty League Championship as well as to make nationals. We have a very strong team, so I think both these goals are very reachable.” They will get their chance to achieve Sadeghi’s goal at Liberty League Championships, which will take place on May 2 in Ithaca, N.Y. Another senior player, Samantha Schapiro from Milford, N.J., had a similar focus on preparing for early May, saying “The goals for VC women’s tennis this year are to ultimately play our best tennis by the end of the season and win the Liberty League Title.” And judging by their strong showing so far, the Brewers have a shot at reaching their desired destinations for this season.

The team has planned a few ways to achieve their goals. “We have also been working on our mental toughness and maintaining a positive demeanor on the court in both practice and in matches,” said junior Winnie Yeates. But mentality alone will not win the women a title or a shot at the NCAA tournament. Keeping a competitive edge is essential to late season success.

Yeates continued, “We have been playing lots of matches, both singles and doubles, and working hard on our strength and fitness.”

The team could also use their impressive doubles lineup to help work towards their goals.

Sadeghi said, “The key to achieving these goals is to use our skills in doubles. We have a very strong doubles lineup, which should help us gain momentum and for the singles and start with a little bit of an advantage.”

One strength that the team already has going for them is youth. “We have a very solid team, overall and two great seniors who are both incredible tennis players as well as great

team leaders,” said Yeates, “We are also a very young team, with a total of nine underclassmen and only three upperclassmen currently on the team. However, amongst the nine underclassmen, there is so much talent that I can only see positive things for the future of the Vassar women’s tennis team.”

The number of young players also brings depth to the bench, helping to take some of the load off the starters and ensuring that injury won’t ruin the season. “Strengths—we are very deep team, we have many returning players and a large freshman class (five), our team is experienced and mentally tough on the court, and ultimately we all want to compete and win.”

The Brewers this season are not, of course, without flaws. Even though the large freshman class helps bolster their numbers, VC women’s tennis has had issues with injury, “As with all college athletes, it is difficult to manage injuries and illnesses throughout the year, and we have been pretty fortunate in this regard for the past two years,” said Yeates. And while the team is focusing on mentality this season, it has been one of their weaknesses in the past. “Our ability to focus and clench those tight matches (but we are improving),” said Sadeghi.

With a tough schedule, many of the women’s match-ups will be stiff competition. “We just played Army (West Point) last weekend. They are Division I and proved to be very tough opponents. Our toughest upcoming match-ups this year will most likely be Skidmore (Liberty League match), and the teams we play on our Spring Break trip to California such as Pomona, Chapman, Amherst, La Verne and Whitman,” said Yeates. After a convincing win against Army, the team has set themselves up for a solid showing this season.

Schapiro believes that the matches outside of the conference and academic calendar will be challenging as well, “Toughest match-ups this season: Skidmore, Liberty League opponent, tough matches in the past and also our

Sophomore Hanna McGuire and freshman Courtney Geiss high five after a particularly gruelling point. The duo are just a few of the women’s young core that looks to make an impact this season. spring break trip where we play five top 30 opponents in six days; this will be a mentally and physically challenging week for the team, but we have been preparing for all these matches during practice every day and are ready to step on the court and face our opponents.” Sadeghi shares concerns about the difficulty of training over break, “Our matches in California will be our toughest match-ups because we play teams from the West Coast that we have never played against. It is something completely new.” With such a demanding schedule, the Brewers need to concentrate on staying healthy and their bench long. “In the upcoming season, we will be playing many, many matches (one-two per weekend), so just staying healthy and with no injuries is very important,” said Sadeghi.

Perhaps the women’s greatest asset is their enthusiasm. Though they have only played a few matches, the girls are confident and prepared to perform their best in the coming weeks. The women have a lot to which they can look forward. Sadeghi said, “I am most excited about our home matches and the Seven Sisters tournament at Smith College.” Seven Sisters will take place April 11-12 and will be held in Northampton, Mass. Schapiro acknowledged, “As a senior this year, I have a lot to be excited about. I am excited to be healthy and able to play my last season with my teammates. But I am also looking forward to seeing how the team grows as we spend more time together and play more matches. Ultimately, I want to leave Vassar being the best teammate I can be.”

Cold Brewers risk frostbite, toes for Special Olympics FRIGID continued from page 1 as local radio stations Rock 93.3 and 96.1 Kiss FM to name a few. Even if team members are “too chicken” to take the plunge as the Fishkill Plunge site stated, they can still donate and receive all the benefits of their fellow plungers. Our own Vassar participants were a little late to sign up, giving themselves only two weeks before the event to begin fundraising.

The Fishkill Plunge is partnered with the Special Olympics and raises money for said contest. “[It’s a] great cause that needs a lot of financial support. It felt great to know that our efforts were supporting the families around us to continue doing exciting events that further building awareness and support,” wrote Chipman in an emailed statement.

Vassar has a Division III athletics program and thus is also partnered with the Special Olympics.

“We’re looking to develop and expand the relationship this year and in future years, but the Polar Plunge seemed like a great way to facilitate

that relationship,” wrote Dubois in an emailed statement. Senior lacrosse player Scott Brekne first broached the topic at the SAAC meeting in January. The board agreed that it would be a great way to begin building their relationship with the Special Olympics and Dubois carried the idea forward. She organized the team’s home page and began recruiting from within the athletic community.

The group’s goal was to raise $800 and reach fifteen members. Dubois was worried about how fundraising would go. She stated, “Because we only had about two weeks to form a team and fundraise, I anticipated that we would only be able to raise a couple hundred dollars. We far exceeded that. I think that because the Special Olympics is such a revered organization, people are enthusiastic to donate and get involved.” Although they didn’t get fifteen members, the team managed to raise $910.

Tactics varied as to the best way to raise awareness and get friends and family to donate.

courtesy of Carlisle Stockton

From left to right: sophomore Rory Chipman, junior Sebastien Lasseur and junior Lucy Brainerd fling themselves into the depths of the pond. While their toes may have been compromised, it was for good.

“Most of us posted a link on Facebook so that people could donate either to the team or to our individual pages,” Brainerd wrote. While most used social media to get the message out there, Chipman took a slightly different approach. “I sent out a fairly long email to family and friends explaining the event and why I wanted to participate. I got several very positive responses.”

Chipman led the group in donations.

A large part of why many of the participants decided to join was the charity aspect of the event, but for some, that wasn’t the only reason.

“Personally, I have heard about plunges before and have always wanted to participate in one.

Most of them are great because they encourage you to view it as a cleansing experience, but this was for charity which made it even more enticing,” wrote Brainerd.

For most of Vassar’s team, it was the first Polar Plunge in which they had taken part. It seems that the team was slightly unprepared for the event. Both Chipman and Dubois complained about their toes. “The run down to the lake was the coldest part, as we trudged through snow wearing shorts and flip flops. The jump itself was into a cut-out in a frozen lake, so you can imagine it was frigid. We couldn’t feel our toes,” wrote Dubois. Chipman was even more vocal about the peril she’d put her lower appendages through, “I experienced sheer fear that my toes were going to fall off. I didn’t even feel the water when I jumped in because I was so concerned about my toes. I wore horrible shoes that basically ended up falling off as I attempted to trek up a long snow bank. It took me three hours to rehabilitate my feet and toes.”

The event took place near Splashdown Beach, a water park in Fishkill. The organizers had cut a small area into the lake so people could jump in up to three at a time. The teams assembled in a hut, where they were serving food, drinks and playing music, psyching people up to go out into twenty degree weather and jump into freezing cold water. Dubois commented on the rest of the crowd that day. “There were a lot of people at the event to take the plunge and I could sense a lot of enthusiasm toward helping the Special Olympics. I even overheard some people saying it was their tenth consecutive year participating

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

in the plunge,” she explained.

Brainerd set the scene perfectly. “Nine of us (men’s and women’s soccer and golf) met up a few hours ahead of time and caravanned to Fishkill. We went to a parking lot where we got on school buses that drove us up to the lake area.

It was cold enough at the bottom, but at the top near the water it was just frigid. The wind was blowing snow everywhere and I think we all started to question why we decided to go through with it. The water was completely frozen over, they had only cut out a small chunk for us to jump in. It was like we were looking at a huge open field covered with snow in some arctic tundra...not the best place to be half-naked.

We also ran into the crew team inside! More Vassar representation!”

Brainerd continued, “When it was our turn to go out, we all stripped down into spandex, sports bras, bathing suits, etc. and started to migrate toward the water. Walking to the water was definitely worse than jumping in because we had to trudge through more than a foot of snow with wind blowing everywhere. It was a disaster. Down at the water, everyone got in a single file line and we jumped in singles, doubles and triples.” There was a tent for people to change out of their wet clothes once they had finished the plunge, but unfortunately, our Vassar participants were unaware of that, and so had to run back through the snow banks to the hut to retrieve their warm clothes.

The students agreed that the event was well-organized. Still, Chipman added, “I wish they had marked the path a bit better so that so many people didn’t end up walking down and back up the snow bank.”

Looking back on the event, all of them expressed their desire for repeating the experience. “I would absolutely do it again. Suffering through a few minutes of freezing cold is a pretty small price to pay for a really great cause,” wrote Brainerd. Chipman agreed but felt she might make a few adjustments, “I would do it again but bring proper shoes. If my feet weren’t cold, the experience would have been a lot less stressful.”

Added Dubois, “While I would definitely prefer to jump on a day that was a bit warmer than 20 degrees, I would do it again.”

February 26, 2015

SPORTS

Deadline drama shakes up standings Rob Carpenter

Guest Columnist

T

he NBA trade deadline hit the basketball world last Thursday at 3 p.m. E.T., and with it the league got a major makeover. The NBA approached Thursday afternoon in the same manner that most Vassar students face their own deadlines, waiting until the last possible moment to make any moves. But moves were made and 39 players switched franchises on 12 transactions, giving the league a major facelift and setting Twitter ablaze. Some teams fortified their playoff hopes while others sold their promising teams for scraps. But whether it is for the short or long term, this week many NBA stars are finding new homes in new cities.

As buzzer-beating shots prove, some of the best moves occur in a crunch, and this year’s trade deadline was no different as many of the biggest player transactions were announced with less than 20 minutes left. The biggest trade of the day sent Yugoslavian point guard Goran Dragic and his younger brother Zoran Dragic to the Miami Heat for three role players and two future first-round draft picks. These trade terms are not completely surprising coming from the Heat’s President Pat Riley, who famously values his team’s ability to win in the present over the process of waiting to develop young talent. The trade came during reports that Goran Dragic had been bumping heads with the Suns’ administration and had given the team a short list of teams they should trade him to that included Los Angeles Lakers, Miami Heat and New York Knicks. Riley’s tendencies also include picking up frustrated players who want to win now, raising the question of whether Dragic will join the ranks of LeBron James and Shaquille O’Neal as players who left teams

in frustration in route to Miami only to win quick championships under Riley’s guidance. Dragic is not in the same talent bracket as Shaq and LeBron, but with the trade, Miami is in a position to win now. With the Dragic brothers, the Heat are still likely to make a splash in the playoffs even with star forward Chris Bosh out for the rest of the season with blood clots in his lungs.

Another team gearing up to make a long playoff run is the Cleveland Cavaliers, who dominated all trade season and struck again on the last day. Kendrick Perkins became the newest knight of LeBron’s roundtable as the Cavaliers bought out the rights to Perkins’ contract from the Utah Jazz who had just acquired him from the Oklahoma City Thunder. Perkins joins a Cavs team that is vastly different from a year ago but that is undeniably on the rise. In the last year, the Cavs have been on a player acquisition rampage, starting with LeBron’s homecoming, ascending with the Andrew Wiggins, Kevin Love trade and ending with the acquirement of J.R. Smith and Timofey Mosgov. The Cleveland Cavaliers are the NBA version of the “The Six Million Dollar Man” with barely any of their talent, minus Kyrie Irving, manifesting naturally. But I don’t think criticizing the Cavs’ inorganic structure bothers LeBron much, considering their second best Eastern Conference record and promising playoff prospects.

In contrast, league-leading teams such as the Golden State Warriors and Atlanta Hawks display how success on the court can be reached through patience and talent development. Neither team has made a major roster move this season or in the entirety of last season, a choice that has allowed both teams to develop strong team chemistry that has led to wins. It should also be considered

that developing talent instead of trading for it creates an environment for players where they do not have to fear being relocated.

Team management acting loyally towards their players allows the players to focus on their craft, instead of managing oneself as an asset to be transferred for money or lack of success.

The Philadelphia 76ers refused to follow the model of steady development towards success. In a puzzling set of decisions, they traded away two of their best players with huge upside potential. First, Philadelphia sent rookie strong forward K.J. McDaniels to the Houston Rockets in exchange for second-string point guard Isaiah Canaan and a 2nd round draft pick. Then, in an action that showed their organization had no concern for winning games this season, the 76ers traded their star point guard and last year’s Rookie of the Year, Michael Carter-Williams, to the Milwaukee Bucks in exchange for a first round pick. Philadelphia’s trades reflect poorly on the organization’s ability to appreciate talent that Carter-Williams and McDaniels obviously had, and goes against the idiom that “a bird in the hand is worth two in the tree.” The 76ers made progress this year and had promising talent, but now their fans can only look forward to the NBA draft, hoping they get lucky.

According to ESPN, Thursday was the most action-packed trade deadline since 1990. Yet it is important to remember that most teams only conduct trades when they are needed. Most contenders avoid interfering with their team’s chemistry as much as they possibly can. Whether or not teams decided to cash their chips or go all in, the deadline displayed that player transactions are one of the best ways to create a solid team in a hurry.

College athletes face time constraints Elaina Peterkin Guest Columnist

A

straight shot to the goal, a breakaway sprint and you’ve scored. It would seem to be a simple movement, but this action is so much more than that. This movement is at the end of a long chain of decision-making with attention given to surroundings. In a quick sweep of the field, an athlete must choose the best possible option, all within the confines of a few seconds.

The athlete’s mind is one of quick decision-making and enhanced memory for play and rules. It must be sharp, as strategizing and planning are necessary for successful games. The world of competitive sports is one of extreme rigor and discipline regardless of the level of skill. But, how much of this sport intellect is reflected to as “intellect”, particularly in school?

There is much to be said on student involvement in athletics at the high school level; studies upon studies have given face to a positive correlation between achievement, emotional health and participation on sports teams. The act of taking part in a sport affords a social environment, frequent physical activity and a more structured schedule—all aspects contributing to better mental health. The Datalys Center details that high school athletes are 85% more likely to report their friends caring about them (The Datalys Center, “Sports Promote Psychological and Emotional Health,” 06.13).

These athletes have a more internalized locus of control, and are 25% less likely to experience depression. From this recovery, one can assume increased achievement.

“The athlete’s mind is one of split-second reactions.”

A 2009 study from Angela Lumpkin and Judy Favor studied athletes and non-athletes in high school and found quite often athletes were performing better than non-athletes.

Out of the athletes, 74% of males and 87%

of females reported a GPA higher than 3.0, while non-athletes reported 64% of males and 75% of females as having a GPA over 3.0.

Further, out of non-athletes 88.1% graduated from high school, whereas the athlete group had 97.6% graduate (Journal of Sport Administration & Supervision, “Comparing the Academic Performance of High School Athletes and Non-Athletes in Kansas in 20082009,” 05.12). The success rate may have to do with the mandates on grades required for participation, the affirmative effects of physical activity of the mind, etc.; regardless of the cause, one cannot deny the results.

In high school, athletics appear to be a precursor for skill development in much more difficult tasks: managing time, maintaining relationships and teamwork. The effects of sportsmanship are overall undeniable.

There is little information, however, on the consequences of athletics on achievement and mental health on a collegiate level and what there is of it leaves much to be desired. Immediately, I found an analysis of academic achievement and sports participation by Chris Amos, in which he compared working non-athlete students and student athletes with use of GPA. With the basis of the aforementioned studies with high school athletes and non-athletes, the natural supposition would be similar results for both cases—superior performance among the student athletes with lesser achievement among non-athletes. Amos found that generally non-athletes had higher GPAs over student athletes (Liberty University, “Athletic Involvement and Academic Achievement,”).

However, when the number of hours worked were factored in as a means of comparison to hours practiced the student athletes accounted for a marginally higher GPA. Perhaps, the reason for the diminished success in college athletes is due to a change in mental health? In a study by Dr. Daniel Merenstein, a survey of current college athletes and past college athletes found that current athletes were twice as likely to be experiencing depression as past student athletes and 17% of current athletes were dealing with depression (National Alliance on Mental Illness, “Depression Runs High

Among College Athletes”).

There are definitely quite a few explanations for this trouncing of mental health that could cause the disparity in accomplishment. An obvious factor could be the stress levels involved in course work and college life in general.

The transition from high school to college can be overwhelming for many. Lack of rest is another likely contributor to poor mental health as it is necessary for proper functioning in daily tasks. Tiredness leads to overtraining, which is pretty self-explanatory and can cause injury which can be even more damaging. Gregory Wilson and Mary Pritchard expand upon the stresses of college athletes and financial stress, body satisfaction and social stress with those previously mentioned as being among the highest stress triggers (Athletic Insight, “Comparing Sources of Stress in College Student Athletes and Non-Athletes,” 05.05).

“Student athletes in college are facing the challenges of balancing high level education with high level sporting.”

Ultimately, student athletes in college are facing the challenges of balancing high level education with high-level sporting and are showing some strain. With students working equivalent amounts to athletes’ practice time, however, the student athletes are performing better in an academic stance. What does this mean for collegiate students involved athletics?

Personally, I don’t believe much can be taken from this without more research on the correlation between achievement and mental health athletes, especially regarding mental health. Dr. Merenstein even calls for more examination for to ensure good mental health and proper attention to its importance in the sports world.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Page 19

Ruck it: experience Six Nations Jake Sheehy

Guest Columnist

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e’ve reached a dark stretch of time, sports fans.

The glories of the Super Bowl are fading into distant memory, and baseball is only just beginning to stir in the sunnier sections of this arctic wasteland we call a country. For those of you who miss the adrenaline rush of watching grown men hurl themselves violently at one another, you are in luck. The Six Nations rugby tournament across the pond is about to enter its third week of competition. Six Nations is fought between England, Wales, Scotland, France, Italy and reigning champions Ireland. It’s like the World Cup, if the World Cup were limited to only six countries and the teams spent 80 minutes beating the crap out of each other instead of pretending they were getting the crap beaten out of them.

The tournament is simple enough. Each team plays each other once, home field advantage alternating yearto-year. A win is worth two points, a draw is worth one and a loss is worth zero. There are no complicated bonus point systems, so for all of you struggling to understand the basic rules of rugby (and there are plenty), you can put your mind at ease knowing that the tournament itself is so simple small French children can follow it without too much difficulty. The winner of the tournament brings home the Six Nations trophy. The last place team earns the figurative “wooden spoon,” a delightfully English idea that involves humiliating the worst team of the bunch. Though I wouldn’t laugh at any wooden spoon recipient: The worst one could knock you clean into next week, and then you’d miss the 100 Nights celebration this weekend and with it all the panicking, desperate seniors who have recently been reminded there are only 100 nights until they face the real world.

There is a fierce rivalry between England and Scotland, thanks to years of English rule over Scotland. One needs only to see the fantastic film “Braveheart” to get an idea of how hostile the history is between these two groups. As a bonus, “Braveheart” also prepares you for the outcome of most England/Scotland games.

Ireland, on the other hand, gets some sweet, sweet revenge on the rugby pitch. While Northern Island remains part of the United Kingdom, the whole Emerald Isle comes together to don their green jerseys. In an interesting political twist, they also don’t sing an Irish national anthem at their games and instead have had to come up with a new song for the united group. It is “Ireland’s Call” and it is one of the cheesiest songs ever written, which is especially amusing when they play France.

They are the reigning champions of the tournament and currently ranked fourth in the world behind the almost undefeatable New Zealand team, South Africa, and of course the widely-booed but feared England.

Ireland is currently tied for England at the top of the standings after two weeks of play, and the two teams meet in Dublin this Sunday for what’s sure to be a thrilling exhibition.

If you’ve never seen a rugby match, this is the time to do it. While the rules may appear confusing at first, at the heart of it the game is about running, tackling and kicking. In that sense, it is beautifully simple: a competition between two groups of players which attempt to get the ball far enough across the field to score a try (think touchdown).

The commentators will fill you in on the finer points, and if you’re lucky, the hilarious Welsh referee Nigel Owens will be on the pitch to inform the players how stupid they are when they commit a penalty.

Between that and the vast number of friendly Vassar rugby players only too happy to talk to you non-stop about the sport, you should be a fluent fan in no time.

If you like what you see in Six Nations, you’ll get all that and more when the best of the Southern hemisphere, including New Zealand, South Africa, Australia and others get into the fray in the Rugby World Cup this fall. Even the U.S. will be sending its team to Britain. They are coming off a record-tying game against New Zealand, where they managed to score six whole points, only to lose by 68.

There will be at least a few games where you can dress up in your best red, white and blue attire that only comes out for the Fourth of July and the soccer World Cup you really got into this summer, so paint your face and come out to watch the rest of the world destroy the Eagles in a truly cathartic experience. If you’re starving for something to distract you from those impending midterms, take a look this weekend at the crazy sport called rugby. You’ll be glad you did.

SPORTS

Page 20

February 26, 2015

Men’s lax out to score goals, win games, gain credibility Winnie Yeates Guest Reporter

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courtesy of Vassar College Athletics

he men’s lacrosse team has looked like a completely different team so far this season. This past Saturday, Feb. 21, they traveled to Trinity College in Connecticut to play two scrimmages against Trinity and the University of New England. The scrimmages went well as Vassar came away victorious in both games.

Senior midfielder and co-captain Scott Brekne said of Vassar’s play, “We played great as a team and each player played an important role in each win. No single player stood out over the others, which was great for the team as everyone executed well and contributed toward getting the wins.”

Despite several setbacks so far, such as the freezing, snowy weather, the men’s lacrosse team has been working diligently to prepare for their spring season. While the weather has prevented practices from being held outdoors on their home-turf, the team has been practicing in the bays of Walker Field House.

Sophomore midfielder Liam Moriarty said of the indoor practices, “Playing indoors does not simulate a game as the field is much bigger and a different surface. We can only hope that our field is clear as soon as possible in order to get used to playing on it.” Along the same sentiment, junior midfielder TJ Morror said, “Personally, [I] am most excited to just start competing again, after a long indoor preseason, it’ll be nice to play someone besides our teammates outside.”

The Brewers officially kick off their schedule Feb. 25 with a game against Manhattanville College. They are scheduled to play more than 16 games throughout the spring. However, the men’s lacrosse team is not just looking for solid results in numbers and statistics. They are looking to strengthen the program as a whole.

With one of the largest rosters in the program’s history at Vassar and with some fresh leadership, the team is expecting to make big waves in the Liberty League conference this spring.

However, this year the high-reaching goals of the players are not entirely unfounded. New and strong leadership will look to lead the team to achieve and surpass their goals this year.

The addition of a new Assistant Coach, John McCreery, who joined the squad this past summer, along with three experienced co-captains in Brekne, senior Sean Brazier and junior Noah Parson will work to propel the team forward this spring.

In addition to excellent leadership, the roster has grown significantly in size and depth.

With a large and talented recruiting class of seven freshmen and the loss of only two starting players, Brekne acknowledges this strength: “Our most important team strength this year is our depth. Not only do we have depth in numbers, but we also have depth in skill. We will be able to find good match-ups very easily as any of us can step into our role and do what we have to do to help the team get a win.”

Most college lacrosse teams have 40 to 50 players on the roster, as compared to Vassar’s current size of thirty-three players. However, what the Brewers lack in size and number this year, they more than make up for in their heart and determination.

The Brewers were recently voted seventh in the Liberty League pre-season poll, but aim to exceed this predicted outcome. Having full faith in their own individual abilities as well as those of their teammates, their main goal is to make it to the Liberty League Playoffs. This will be challenging, as it will require them to finish at least top four in the League. It will also likely require them to best at least two top 20 teams in the country, such as Rochester Institute of Technology (2014 NCAA semi-finalist) and Union College (2014 NCAA quarter-finalist). Brekne stated, “We have begun working towards these goals from the second we stepped on campus. Success in games starts in practice, so we start out by working hard every single day to be the best we can be.”

Competing in one of the toughest leagues

The men’s lacrosse team looks to build on a strong pre-season campaign in their home opener against Manhattanville College. The Brewers look to improved depth and experience in this season. in the country, this will not be an easy feat.

Their Liberty League match-ups will prove to be some of their most challenging competition throughout the season. However, Brekne stated that the team is not afraid of such challenges: “While these things will appear to be obstacles, they are really just great opportunities to perform well and prove that our program is ready to make it to that next level.” Even looking at last year’s season, the Brewers made tremendous strides towards improving their overall record of 6-9 in 2014, and beating teams that they had never beaten before.

Moriarty, stated, “We are most excited about the opportunity to knock off some more Liberty League foes this year. Last year, we beat Skidmore for the first time ever, and we hope to turn some more heads with more upsets over teams like RIT, Union, RPI, Clarkson and

St. Lawrence.”

However, for co-captain Brekne, who will be playing in his final season, his hope for the team is to leave a more lasting, permanent legacy and to establish a more solid foundation for the program going forward.

He said, “As a senior in my final season, I am most excited to see how far this program has come in my four years here. When I first got to Vassar our team had less than 20 guys.

Although we outworked and out-hustled every team we competed against, we fell short in too many games. I am excited to show everyone how far this program has come. I also look forward to leaving behind a legacy of hard work, leadership, respect, heart and determination.”

The Brewers officially kick off their seasons against Manhattanville College this Wednesday, Feb. 25 at Tenney Stadium.

Busy Brewers break school records, turn more heads Amreen Bhasin Reporter

Men’s Squash

The Vassar College men’s squash team finished their season off strong, competing in the College Squash Association’s National Team Championships. The Brewers were seeded at the top of their division and brought home their Division title after finishing first. They were placed in a pool with the University of Notre Dame and Ithaca College to begin. The Brewers started off with a strong 8-1 victory over Ithaca College on Friday. Sophomore Vincent Mencotti earned a three set victory at No. 1 as did junior Juan Pablo Fernandez at No. 3. Senior Captain Ryan Kurtzman also had a three-set victory at No. 5 and fellow senior Noah Kulick at No. 6 only allowed nine points in his three set victory.

The Brewers then faced off against the University of Notre Dame and came away with another 8-1 victory to send them to the Division finals.

Fernandez had another three-set victory as did Kulick. Junior Ben Kurchin also had a three-set victory at No. 7, as did Mencotti. In the Division Title match, the Brewers met with Bard College for the fourth time this season. Mencotti had another win at No. 1 and brought his season total to 12-6 overall. Kurchin forced his No. 7 match to a fifth set with the Brewers and Raptors tied 4-4. Kurchin pulled off an 11-9 come from behind victory and clinched the division title for the Brewers. Kurtzman and Kulick also had victories for the Brewers in three sets to finish their careers. This was the Brewers’ first ever CSA Division title and they finish the season 6-9 overall.

Men’s Fencing

The men’s fencing team competed in the New England Intercollegiate Fencing Conference Championships this past Saturday, hosted at Vassar. The men’s three-weapon team finished second overall. The men’s sabre team had an especially strong showing. Freshman Eli Polston went 8-2 in the preliminary rounds and earned the No. 1 seed in the individual championships thanks to a +26 touch differential. He was 3-2 during the first round of pools with a +4 differ-

ential. In the final pool, he went 3-2 again and tied for the top spot with two MIT fencers. The fencers all went 1-1 against each other during the first tiebreaker and after the second tiebreaker, Polston ended up taking third overall. Junior Captain Elam Coalson also made individuals and took home 6th place. The sabre squad had a third place finish in the team portion. Fellow captain and senior foilist Tre Artis also finished 6th after going 8-3 during the team round. Freshman foilist Tom Racek went 9-1 during the team round and finished 10th overall. The foil squad went 22-9 and finished third overall. The men’s épée squad finished 2nd overall after going 28-5 in the team rounds. Freshman Jonathan Alperstein went 9-2, sophomore Ry Farley also went 9-2 and freshman George Whiteside went 10-1.

All three Brewers made the individual round.

The Brewers will next send their top fencers to compete at NCAA regionals on March 8.

Women’s Swimming

The women’s swimming and diving team finished eighth out of 16 teams at the Upper New York State Collegiate Swimming Championships. Seven school records were broken by the women during the four-day event and many Brewers had lifetime and season bests. On day one, senior Olivia Harries broke a 20-yearold record in the 500 freestyle event. She took sixth overall. Juniors Milee Nelson and Marie Schmidt took 14th and 15th in the event after swimming season-bests. The 200-yard medley team of Nelson, junior Anna Kuo, sophomore Julia Cunningham and senior Lizzie Balter finished first in the B-final of the event and broke a school record in the process. On day two, Cunningham set school records in the 400 IM and the 100 Fly. In the 400 IM, she finished second overall in the A Final and posted a time under the 2014 NCAA “Invited Time.” She was third in the 100 fly A Finals and finished with an NCAA B Cut time. The 400-yard medley relay team of Nelson, Kuo, Cunningham and Balter had a season-best time and finished seventh overall.

The 200 freestyle relay team of junior Lily Frye, sophomore Leah Pan, freshman Cali Corbett and Balter was at the top of the B Final, taking

ninth overall. On day three, Cunningham set her third school record in the 200 Fly finals. She finished second overall on the event and once again was under the 2014 NCAA invited time.

The 800 freestyle relay squad of Harries, Nelson, Schmidt and Cunningham broke a school record and finished seventh overall. On day 4, Harries broke two more records in the 1000 free and the 1650 free. Her time in the 1650 free broke her program-best record set in 2014 by over 10 seconds. She finished third overall in the event and was an NCAA B cup mark.

Men’s Swimming

The Brewer men also competed at the Upper New York State Collegiate Swimming Championships. The men finished the event ninth out of 15 total teams. They broke five school records during the event and also had several career and lifetime-bests. On day one, the 200-yard Medley team of senior Luc Amodio, freshman Jonah Strand, sophomore Anthony Walker and junior Greg Cristina broke a school record and finished seventh overall in the field. Amodio took fourth in the B finals of the 50 free, posting a season-best. On day two, the Brewers set two new school records. Walker finished first in the B Final of the 100 Fly and broke his own school record when he posted a career-best. Cristina took fifth in the B Final of the even while senior Chuck Hermann and sophomore Ian Quinn took fifth and sixth in the C Final. The 400 Medley Relay team of Amodio, Strand, Walker and Cristina took sixth overall in the finals and managed to break the program record during their preliminary race. The 200 freestyle relay team of Cristina, Amodio, Walker and Quinn finished 8th in the A Final. On day three, Walker set another record. During the 200 Fly, Walker took first in the B Final and he broke his own program record from last year. Amodio took eighth place in the A Final for the 100 Back. Strand took fourth in the B Finals of the 100 Breaststroke and had a career best. Junior Isaiah Hale and Sophomore Patrick Lai took first and second in the C Final of the event. The 800 free relay team of Walker, sophomore Chris Cerutti, Hale and senior Chuck Hermann took 12th overall in the

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

event. On day four, Cristina snapped the school record for the 100 freestyle event. Cristina went on to take 15th overall after his preliminary, record-breaking time. Strand had a lifetime best in the 200 Breaststroke and took sixth place in the A final of the event. Amodio took first in the B final and his final time was a season-best and within a second of the school record. Lai had a lifetime best and took third in the C Final.

Cerutti finished seventh overall in the C Final of the 200 Back. The 400-yard freestyle relay team of Walker, Amodio, Hale and Cristina had a season best and placed second in the B final of the event.

Women’s Basketball

On Wednesday, junior Guard Caitlin Drakeley became Vassar College’s 11th player to score 1000 points as the Brewers defeated Bard College 58-42 in Liberty League Play. Drakeley had 18 points during the game. Freshman Ariella Rosenthal was 5-of-8 shooting and finished with 14 points and four steals. Junior Rose Serafini had six points, seventh blocks, three assists and tied a career-high 13 rebounds. Junior Alex Moon had nine points and seven rebounds. Senior Allyson Pemberton had eight points. The Brewers had a season-best 50.0 percent from the floor (21-42). In their final game of the year, the Brewers knocked off RPI 69-51. This allowed the Brewers to finish the season on a four-game winning streak, matching their longest streak of the year. Rosenthal had a game best 19 points, seven rebounds and two assists. Her 258 points this year is the most ever for a freshman since Cydni Matsuoka ’14 scored 458 in 2010-11. Drakeley had 11 points and five rebounds. She moved into No. 10 all-time in scoring. She now has 1012 points at Vassar. Serafini had her first career double-double as she had 14 rebounds, 10 points and six blocks. Pemberton finished her career with the Brewers with eight points. She is fifth all-time in field goal percentage at .448 and her free throw percentage is sixth-ever at .746.

Moon had seven points and seven rebounds.

Rosenthal was named the Liberty League Rookie of the Week for the second time this season for her efforts this weekend.