The Mischievous News
Since 1866 | miscellanynews.org
Volume CL | Issue 16
March 29, 2018
An iPhone note poem
Trump causes mass comedian layoffs L
ate-night comedy is in even more turmoil than the Trump White House. Hosts from Samantha Bee to Stephen Colbert are refusing to go on with their shows, claiming that the political climate has grown too ridiculous to satirize. “At this point, the news is already hilarious, so there’s no joy in trying to turn it into comedic material,” said Colbert, who has no current plans to return to “The Late Show.” He explained, “I was trying to research the recent scandals around the President’s womanizing, and an article popped up titled ‘Stormy Daniels’ Lawyer Is Threatening to Reveal Pics of Trump’s Awful Dong.’ How do I compete with that?” Bee, who has indefinitely suspended production of “Full Frontal with Samantha Bee,” said that she has been so stressed by option paralysis that she had to book a vacation to Bermuda. “With this constant flood of absurdity, I don’t even know where to begin,” Bee lamented. “Just last week, Joe Biden claimed that if he were in high school, he would ‘take [Trump] behind the gym and beat the hell out of him’ for sexually assaulting women—and then
Trump tweeted that if the two were to scuffle, Biden would ‘go down fast and hard, crying all the way.’ Remember, these are two crusty dudes in their 70s. And every day, there are about five headlines that are just as ridiculous. This is not in my job description!” Trump was not the only target of comedians’ ire: Trevor Noah, who has shortened “The Daily Show” to a five-minute monologue, implicated Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway for her attempt to combat the opioid epidemic. At the White House’s Generation Next forum, Conway recommended fast food over fentanyl, saying, “So I guess my short advice is, as somebody double your age, eat the ice cream, have the french fry, don’t buy the street drug.” “I thought the Conway news was an Onion article,” said Noah. “How do I make that funnier than it is?” Jimmy Kimmel—who has officially resigned from his eponymous show—commented, “We can only hope that Mueller’s investigation puts impeachment on the table in the next few months. Until then, I’ll be doing a weekly webisode of Celebrities Read Mean Tweets...with absolutely no politicians allowed.” See MIDTERMS on page 2018
Courtesy of Max Pixel
Talya Phelps
White House Correspondent
Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY
Heaven welcomed another angel this week. Geraldine the mouse’s favorite pastimes were nibbling on her roommate’s gluten-free pretzel sticks and smiling.
Student grieves loss of Geraldine the mouse Abby Knuckles
In Mouse Mourning
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eraldine the Mouse, beloved third roommate of Joss 215, passed away late in the afternoon of March 26 in the year of our lord two thousand and eighteen. While her respect for the sovereign snack property of her two roommates left much to be desired, her nocturnal skitterings will be greatly missed by all. Before she departed from the mortal coil, Geraldine displayed extreme perseverance in the face of adversity. She overcame extreme difficulty to build her nest behind the microfridge, with easy access to the snacks on top of the fridge. She even
chewed through several Ziploc bags to munch on delicious (and expensive) gluten-free pretzel sticks and granola that I totally did not plan to stress eat later. In the rare moments when she revealed herself during the day, her golden brown fur looked so soft that those in the room almost suppressed their screams of disgust and terror. Geraldine is survived by who knows how many mice residing in Joss; that’s a terrifying thought. Her plucky spirit and ability to stay in one corner of the room made her an asset to 215, and its two remaining residents can almost bring themselves to miss her. See SQUEAK SQUEAK on page 42
Izzy Migani
Descendant of Emily Dickinson
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hortening chicken broth, both half and Half, New England Roll Yami Yami But, at 11:30, 28th of December, Milford office, Main Street IUD and Email museum Kant is concerned with morality, but Hypothetical imperative isn’t moral731 731 731 731 731 731 Don’t! Forget to get Jack popcorn The Boom Chicka Pop kind But, at 3:30, 2nd of May DON’T FORGET PAPERS- the papers that say Webkinz username: ripetomato What STD affects the liver? What are genital herpes Wurf, HDjjf STUFF TO DO- a note that was sadly Left blank One or two bags of flour I don’t know!!! And I never Found out what the flour was for Cowboy underwear x12 Penguin thong x2 NO VICTORIA’S SECRET Why I was so adamant about not purchasing from the brand, I don’t know, but THE SIMS FOUR PETS IS 60% OFF See SIRI on page iOS 11.2.6
Zuckerberg to spill Vassar FB tea T
he tech industry and the world at large were left reeling last week when news broke that Cambridge Analytica, the name of which blatantly sounds like a nefarious, anti-democratic corporation, did indeed turn out to be a nefarious, anti-democratic corporation. It was
revealed that the British consulting firm harvested information from over 50 million Facebook users without their permission. They exploited the data to target voters with advertising that helped elect the human embodiment of a racist Facebook tirade in 2016. The data ranges from friends lists to “Which FRIENDS character are you?” personality quiz results.
Courtesy of Brian Solis via Flickr
In a recent press conference, overlord Mark Zuckerberg revealed his heinous plans to publicize everyone’s lists for VC Senior Scramble.
Inside this issue
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NEWS
Vassar’s mail accidentally delivered to Marist College
#1
Nobody was safe from this massive Facebook leak— not even liberal arts colleges in the Hudson Valley. In its early days, “The Facebook” was a lesser-known social hub populated primarily by college students who searched for study buddies and “poked” them. It is still more or less a staple of social life on campuses such as Vassar’s because of its functions as an event planner, a means of communication and above all a platform for trillions of memes. However, a rapidly evolving world and Mark “Privacy Policy” Zuckerberg have wrought terrible changes. Reports suggest that the Zuck allowed for the release of a plethora of private information from Vassar students in particular. Among many other topics, Cambridge Analytica collected data about which campus orgs students have liked, every student’s list of potential suitors for VC Senior Scramble, and the names of authors of formerly anonymous “Vassar Missed” posts. It is unclear what they intend to do with all of this information, but if their track record is any indication, they are up to no good. If you see a targeted Facebook advertisement featuring a picture of Donald Trump standing next to Meryl Streep, at least you will know why. See HACKED on page 50 million
Humor section to accept FEATURES Pulitzer Prize
Courtesy of Wikimedia
Chris Allen
Internet Whistleblower
Make sure to act right away in order to take complete advantage of the health service’s innovative, stress-relieving self-help solutions. You deserve it!
Health service offers free neck massages Tanya Kotru Gode
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Frequent Oxygen Breather
assar’s responsive and effective health service has once again proven that it can provide useful, timely and accessible services to students. Given that students have been complaining of prolonged stress from midterms week, Vassar will provide subsidized oxygen masks and neck massages to students who need them. The headline says they’re free, but that’s what advertising is all about. Students can make appointments with the health service (now with a waiting time of only 40 minutes!) by calling their responsive helpline. They may or may not pick up, but they’re just busy helping all the other stressed students! After crossing that hurdle, students can opt to receive a
∞
detailed instruction manual for self-administered neck massages (What? Did you actually think someone was going to give you a massage?) for just $39.99. The other option is an oxygen mask for the price of $49.99, which doesn’t include an instruction manual because you’ve probably been on an airplane, and if you weren’t paying attention to the safety video then it’s your loss. Vassar’s health service is not responsible for teaching you how to breathe oxygen, which is pretty common knowledge. Students should make an appointment to avail themselves of these services ASAP, before they run out. They probably already ran out, but make an appointment anyway to kill a couple hours. Happy stress management! See OUCHIE on page $39.99
Melania Trump eyes Vassar POLITICS presidency
The Miscellany News
Page 2
March 29, 2018
Editors-in-Chief Emma Jones Elena Schultz
Senior Editor Talya Phelps
Contributing Editors Eilís Donohue Rhys Johnson
News Laurel Hennen Vigil Opinions Steven Park Features Imogen Wade Andrea Yang Humor and Satire Leah Cates Yesenia Garcia Arts Sasha Gopalakrishnan Sports Mack Liederman Photography Sumiko Neary Social Media Kimberly Nguyen
The Miscellany News 29
March
Thursday
How to Support a Family Member Who Has Been Assaulted or Abused
4:00 p.m. | CN Faculty Commons | SAVP (Sexual Assault & Violence Prevention)
Late Night at the Lehman Loeb/Warhol Film Series at CDF
Weekender_ 30
March
31
Friday
March
Landed the Interview...Now What? (Lunch and Learn)
Saturday
Tennis (M) vs. Ithaca College 10:00 a.m. | Outdoor Space Joss Tenn Cts-Varsity | Athletics
12:00 p.m. | NE 105 | Career Development Office
Tennis (M) vs. Ithaca College
Baseball vs. St. Lawrence University (DH)
1:00 p.m. | Prentiss Sports Complex Turf Field | Athletics
10:00 a.m. | Outdoor Space Joss Tenn Cts-Non-Varsity | Athletics
5:00 p.m. | Loeb Art Center Atrium| The Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center
Passover
Baseball vs. St. Lawrence University (DH) 12:00 p.m. | Prentiss Sports
The Privately Printed Bible a Talk by Ron Patkus
Seven Deadly Sins
Lacrosse (W) vs. Clarkson University
5:30 p.m. | Library Class of ’51 Reading Room | Library
Assistant News Clark Xu Assistant Arts Izzy Braham Matt Stein Assistant Online Jackson Ingram Abby Lass Assistant Design Rose Parker Assistant Copy Claire Baker Jessica Moss Teddy Chmyz Web Master & George Witteman Technical Advisor
6:00 p.m. | College Center 223 | Religious and Spiritual Life Office
1
April
Reporters Youngju Chang Olivia Feltus Kelly Pushie Marusa Rus Columnists Aidan Zola Jimmy Christon Jesser Horowitz Sylvan Perlmutter Blair Webber Design Maya Sterling Scarlett Neuberger Copy Isabel Bielat Natalie Bober James Bonanno Jillian Frechette Abigail Knuckles Anna Wiley
Sunday
Monthly Transitions Community Lunch
12:00 p.m. | Aula | Office of Alumnae/i Affairs and Development
Paper Critique
9:00 p.m. | Rose Parlor | The Miscellany News
Complex Turf Field | Athletics
10:00 p.m. | Rocky 10 p.m.–12 a.m. and Villard Room 12 a.m.–2 a.m. | Jewett House Team
1:00 p.m. | Prentiss Sports Complex Weinberg Turf Field | Athletics
Tennis (W) vs. Ithaca College
Films by Andy Warhol
Courtesy of Bill Johnston via Vassar
2:30 p.m. | Outdoor Space Joss Tenn Cts-Varsity | Athletics
6:00 p.m. | Vogelstein 109 | Film Dept.
Tennis (W) vs. Ithaca College
Abhi the Nomad and Gus Dapperton
2:30 p.m. | Outdoor Space Joss Tenn Cts-Non-Varsity | Athletics
8:30 p.m. | The Mug | ViCE
Courtesy of Wikimedia
The Office of Religious and Spiritual Life will host Passover services this Friday and Saturday.
Disasters Fast and Slow: Photography, History and the Environment 4:30 p.m. | Taylor Hall 203-Auditorium | History Dept.
CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.
Trivia Night
6:00 p.m. | RH 301 | VSA
Passover
6:00 p.m. | College Center 223 | Religious and Spiritual Life Office
Professor William D. Johnston of Wesleyan University will deliver a lecture, titled “Disasters Fast and Slow,” on Saturday. The event is free and open to the public.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
March 29, 2018
NEWS
Page 3
Heather McGhee chosen as Commencement Speaker Laurel Hennen Vigil News Editor
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get a degree for the working middle class. We call this idea “debt-free college,” and we have helped build the research case for it and the policy design over the last number of years and helped to put it into the mainstream of the political debate. There’s a bill being introduced next week that we helped to author, and we helped design some of the policy that was championed by Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton in 2016. We’re also working on policies to make our democracy more inclusive and make government less beholden to wealthy special interests. We work in the lead of a coalition that just passed public financing of campaigns in Washington, D.C., so that, in the future, people will be able to run for city council in Washington, D.C., and be reliant upon public funds instead of wealthy private donors. Misc: Where do you see Demos going in the long-term future? HM: At Demos, our goals are very long-term. We know that the change that we’re trying to see is going to take some time, and we champion ideas that we believe are necessary to solve major problems, even if they’re not politically possible today. So, winning the kind of reforms that we want to see in Congress is going to take some time. For example, winning public financing of all federal offices is a goal that we think won’t be done in this Congress, but we do think it has broad public support and we will be able to achieve it someday. Misc: Is there anything in particular that you would like Vassar students to know about you? HM: That’s a good question. I deeply believe in the power of people to chart their own course, to have a voice in setting the rules that affect their lives. I believe in small-D democracy and think that a university campus is a wonderful site for young people to learn how to become better citizens and
stronger advocates in changing institutions around them. Misc: Is there anything else you would like our readers to know? HM: I have a lot of faith in today’s young people. I believe that many of the major problems that our society is facing are ones that our generation, and the ones that follow, are going to be the ones to solve. On issues like climate change, inequality, and racism, sexism and xenophobia, I’m very excited about what the world will look like when the people who are young today are the people who are in charge. [Editor’s note: This interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.]
Courtesy of Heather McGhee
assar College recently chose President of Demos Heather McGhee as the College’s 2018 Commencement Speaker. Demos is a Washington D.C.-based public policy organization. McGhee graduated from Yale University with a bachelor’s degree in American Studies and attended law school at the University of California, Berkeley. The College told The Miscellany News, “Heather McGhee was chosen to be Vassar’s Commencement speaker because she has been a strong advocate on the national stage for economic and political equality.” “Heather McGhee has been on the front lines of numerous important public policy debates,” Vassar President Elizabeth Bradley said. “She’s a fighter, and she fights for the right causes.” The Miscellany News recently spoke with McGhee about her work at Demos and her hopes for the current generation of college students. This year’s Commencement will be on Sunday, May 27 at 10 a.m. in the Outdoor Amphitheater. The Miscellany News: Could you tell me a bit about Demos? HM: Demos is a public policy organization that uses research and litigation and advocacy at the state, local and federal level to advance policy and legal change that addresses inequality in America. Misc: How did you come to work there? HM: I started working at Demos pretty much right out of college. I was 22 years old. I knew that I wanted to work in social change, and I knew that I specifically wanted to work on public policy and structural issues to address issues of economic opportunity and poverty and mobility. I found the job listing for an entry-level position at Demos back in 2002 when the organization was much smaller than it is. It was in its start-up phase, and I was
lucky enough to be hired to work on an issue near and dear to my heart, which was the issue of debt: personal debt, credit card debt, payday loans. I worked on that issue doing research and advocacy for two and a half years and then went to law school. I knew that I didn’t want to litigate, but I did want to have a degree that would help me write stronger laws to protect people. I got to see that dream realized when I left law school and worked for Demos in Washington, D.C., in the first year of the Obama administration, and was able to work on the Wall Street Reform Bill, Dodd-Frank, and helped write some of that policy into law. Misc: Do you have any advice for college students who are interested in working in public policy? HM: That is a great question. I do. Do your research and investigate the landscape of organizations that work on issues that you care about. Don’t be afraid to have an internship or an entry-level job at a smaller organization that may not be as established or prestigious, or as large, because oftentimes, at a smaller organization you get much more responsibility. You get to build your experience and your resume. I had internships, for example, in college at a place that only had one full-time employee and a number of paid interns, but I learned so much and gained so much responsibility and experience from that that helped put me in a good position to get to the position at Demos, which, at the time that I joined, was probably only about 15 people. Now, there are 55 employees and it’s a $14 million a year organization. Misc: Is Demos working on any projects now that you’re really excited about? HM: Yes! One of our major priorities right now is advancing the idea of re-funding public higher education so that student debt is not required to
President of Demos Heather McGhee was chosen to be Vassar’s 2018 Commencement Speaker.
VMSU demands more support for Muslim students Youngju Chang Reporter
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dents’ religious needs are met, such as availability of Halal food and accommodation for the fasting period. They should also ensure that Muslim students have a safe space to address Islamophobia on campus. She recounted, “There is no space that I or we feel comfortable [talking] to the administration about how to address these problems, and I feel having an advisor or an adult who is in a position of power would be able to address those issues without putting a burden on students.” Additionally, Majarali pointed out that the VMSU lacks key infrastructure, such as a larger general body, a well-planned budget and a stable foundation, including a person dedicated to leading services, and their own prayer room. Majarali noted, “We used the Library Quiet Room, which is a shared space. You could be using the space and someone else just can walk in.”
Courtesy of VMSU
he question of whether Vassar fully supports the religious aspects of student life has been raised from time to time over the years, and it is true that Vassar has been making efforts to ameliorate the lack of institutional support for religious students. However, the Vassar Muslim Student Union (VMSU) argues that Vassar still has a long way to go to fully support the Muslim community on campus. VMSU member Victoria Majarali ’18 commented that the absence of a religious advisor for Muslim students is a major problem with which the College must contend. According to Majarali, the College provided a Muslim advisor when she was a first-year student. However, he worked at Vassar only part-time and mostly spent his time at Bard College, where he had originally been hired. Majarali also pointed out that she felt that the former advisor was not open to students’ ideas. She recounted, “We used to do a student-led prayer, which he was not okay with. We also had a female-led prayer, which is something that he was also not okay with. So having that experience, I think it is important to take away that...we need someone who is open-minded and willing to work with student rather than someone who dictates, because we are a student-led organization.” However, since the former advisor left the position, the VMSU is facing difficulty finding a new advisor. Some members of the group believe Vassar has not been supportive enough on the issue. One member, who requested anonymity, said that the group has been advocating for the past three years to get a Muslim advisor without notable progress. According to the student, the Office of Religious and Spiritual Life (RSL) also told them that funding a new position would be difficult and Muslim students should be content with receiving support by Skyping with an off-campus advisor. However, when the VMSU met with President Bradley, she
emphasized that funding should not be an obstacle to having a Muslim chaplain and that she would do her best to find someone to fill the position. Additionally, this student said that RSL has failed to fulfill its responsibility to reimburse students for the cost of attending off-campus religious services in a timely manner. They said, “This has been a huge financial burden for students to take on their own in order to observe their religious practices.” Majarali expressed her expectation that a future advisor should not only be a qualified Muslim chaplain and lead prayer, but should also play a significant role in fostering the campus Muslim community. For example, she hoped that a new advisor could arrange various educational events about issues affecting Muslims. Furthermore, she emphasized that the advisor should work with the administration to make sure that Muslim stu-
Members of the Vassar Muslim Student Union (VMSU). The VMSU is advocating for more support from the College, such as a Muslim advisor and their own prayer space.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Director of RSL and Assistant Dean for Campus Life and Diversity Sam Speers acknowledged that supporting emerging religious groups on campus is always challenging since spiritual communities are themselves changing and living communities. Nevertheless, Speers emphasized that Vassar is making significant progress on increasing support for its Muslim community. He explained, “This year has been an important year for expanding support for the Muslim community on campus—a number of long-term goals are coming together.” Elizabeth Aeschlimann, the Rose and Irving Rachlin Director of Jewish Student Life and Assistant Director for the Office of Religious and Spiritual Life, elaborated, “With input from VMSU, RSL is taking some significant steps this year. A dedicated Muslim prayer space will open in the Old Laundry Building in the next few weeks, and with the support of President Bradley, we are beginning a search for a Muslim advisor who will start in the fall.” Speers added that RSL is working to make more Halal foods available on the dining plan. Additionally, a Muslim life consultant, Celene Ibrahim, was selected to be a resource for students through video-conferencing, telephone and email. With her experience serving as Muslim chaplain at Tufts University, Ibrahim also played a significant role in the process of establishing the prayer space. Speers and Aeschlimann both said they are looking forward to having a new Muslim advisor on campus. Speers noted, “Our new Muslim advisor will significantly strengthen the work all of us have to do to better understand Muslim practice, observance and culture as part of a cosmopolitan learning community.” Appreciating the VMSU’s efforts, Speers added, “Muslim students at Vassar and at other campuses are speaking out now about the challenges they face—in ways I am grateful for. I’m especially grateful for students’ activism this year around a Muslim prayer space and Muslim life staffing, as these are things my colleagues and I in RSL have been advocating for many years.”
NEWS
Page 4
Conservative Libertarians divide, regroup Clark Xu
Assistant News Editor Additional Reporting By Eilís Donohue, Contributing Editor
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n past years, Vassar students holding rightof-center views have found a venue to share their voice in the Vassar Conservative Libertarian Union (VCLU). Student leaders of the VCLU voted in February to register the group, now the Vassar College Republicans (VCR) as a chapter of the College Republican National Committee (CRNC) and instituted the change over spring break. Libertarian students, meanwhile, have regrouped as a chapter of Young Americans for Liberty (YAL), a national Libertarian political activism organization that was established in 2008. While it is often grouped together with Republican ideology, libertarianism instead seeks to limit the power of the state—whether that state is Republican or Democrat-lead—over its citizens. VCR President Cooper Vorel ’20 commented, “Being affiliated with the Republican party, in our eyes, brings about better visibility and a more inclusive political environment. We think this change will encourage right-of-center students to feel comfortable voicing their beliefs without negative personal charges.” At the national level, the CRNC is a 527 Political Action Committee and self-described activist group, led by an elected chairman. Each of the 50 states, plus the District of Columbia, has its own chapter which unites all of the smaller chapters on campuses around the state (CNRC, “History”). The organization has existed since the 19th century, but under the current administration, college Republican clubs are gaining more attention and even splintering within themselves. For example, the California chapter of the CRNC held elections for chairperson last year, and the two frontrunners had very different views of what it means to be a young Republican during Donald Trump’s presidency. One of the contenders, Leesa Danzek, is a moderate Republican, while her opponent (and eventual victor), Ariana Rowlands, is unabashedly far-right, illustrating the nationwide splintering within the party (The Los Angeles Times, “Trump sparks revival for college Republicans, along with battle over ‘future and soul’ of movement,” 10.20.2017). VCR Vice President Allegra Kaufman ’19 reflected, “While Vassar is vastly leftist, [VCLU] allowed similar-minded people to find each other and have free discussion that otherwise does not take place on campus.” Considering the potential impact of this change to the student organization, Kaufman added, “While we are adjusting our name and affiliation to work with College Republicans, I believe all of these values will be maintained going forward. We want people on the political right to feel comfortable at Vassar. We believe that they belong here too.” Student groups representing other political viewpoints have offered a slightly different outlook on the change from VCLU to VCR. YAL Chapter President Jonas Trostle ’21 suggested, “I’m hesitantly optimistic. The VCLU had a lot of baggage, and maybe it was time for it to go.” Last October, the VCLU hosted a controversial lecture, led by Cornell University Clinical Professor of Law William Jacobson, about free speech on college campuses. When the event raised security concerns in the VSA and the President’s Office, the VCLU decided to increase its focus on discussion-based meetings and shift away from active programming. “On the other hand,” Trostle added, “College Republicans, and [the label of] Republican in general, carries with it some major baggage itself, namely people like Trump, Sessions and Roy Moore.” For the VCR, party affiliation will present its own complex of issues in the context of a national political climate that can be
polarizing and divisive under the current Republican administration. Trump’s effect on college conservatives has apparently been twofold: drawing more eyes to their pamphlets and bodies to their meetings, but also increasing animosity toward this political minority on largely liberal campuses (The Los Angeles Times). Membership in a Conservative or Republican campus organization also does not necessarily equal approval of or support for Trump. The Penn State College Republicans, for example, decided not to endorse him when he was a candidate, but soon after this declaration, the campus’s pro-Trump student organization stormed the College Republicans’ meeting and called for the president’s resignation and election of a new executive board (The Atlantic, “The Future of Trumpism is on Campus,” 01.02.2018). While nothing ultimately came of the standoff, and the aggressively right-wing group faded into the background on this particular campus, the incident is reminiscent of a pattern on campuses across the nation. Conservative student groups are arguing amongst themselves, and splitting into factions. This is not to say that YAL and VCR will follow the path of Penn State’s opposing conservatives, but they are part of a nationwide ideological rift among conservative student groups. Other Libertarian students have expressed concern that political student groups affiliating with parties may exclude political viewpoints that fall outside party lines. Pointing to the issue of tolerance, YAL Chapter Vice President Chris Kremer ’18 said, “I think the VCLU had a role in offering refuge to alternatively-minded thinkers, but it remains to be seen whether the rebranded Vassar College Republicans will do the same or simply be a mouthpiece for the Republican Party’s propaganda.” His outlook on VCR is pessimistic because the change carries the potential to cut out Libertarian views from the group discussion. Kremer also disapproves of YAL at the national level for what some consider to be its militancy on college campuses. President of Vassar Democrats Elizabeth Chadbourne ’18 offered her own insight into the potential concerns of political affiliation for a student organization, saying, “It seems that the Vassar College Republicans feel that the name change better reflects the views of their members, and we understand the importance of naming an organization. Given the fact that you do not need to identify as a Democrat to join our org or attend our meetings or events, we have discussed the merit of having the word ‘Democrat’ in our name, rather than ‘Progressive,’ for example.’ She added, “The only thing that we do that is explicitly partisan is canvassing or other campaign work for candidates.” Former YAL New York State Chair Pietro Geraci ’18 differs in his political views from both Democrats and Republicans. Taking a libertarian stance on party structures, he said, “I am not optimistic at all about this change. The Republican Party is just as obtrusive to liberty as the Democratic Party; both are corrupt, especially on a national level, and both could [not] care less about the Constitution and actually serving constituents.” Geraci interprets the de-emphasis on programming by the VCR as a significant loss to political discourse at Vassar. Members of the VCR, however, strongly believe that students with right-of-center political views contribute to diversity of opinion on Vassar’s campus. A member of the VCR who asked to remain anonymous suggested, “The most meaningful aspect of the VCLU has been the opportunity to engage in diverse political discussions without fear of being castigated. Regardless of what some might say, members of the VCLU have diverse viewpoints ranging from the left to right [of the] political spectrum and the VCLU is not an echo chamber
for the political right. There is regular debate, disagreement and discourse at our meetings.” Affirming the shift in focus from programming to discussion, the member noted, “The College Republicans plan to extend this aspect [to] the fullest possible extent by garnering more membership while also taking the time to foster better relations with Vassar and local communities on a holistic level. The plan is to take a backseat from previous political activism in order [to] meet these goals.” Students in these groups believe as well that diverse political viewpoints enrich not only student life, but also academic coursework that pertains to politics. Kremer explained, “I’ve found the discourse on campus to be rather stifling; lots of students seem to have accepted postmodernist and critical theory, which is taught in classes. Those students then tend to shut down any opinions stemming from alternative theories.” For Kremer and other YAL members, the emphasis on radical or relativist ideas as the dominant mode of discourse in classes broadly characterizes departments in the social sciences. Vorel agreed, “Political and social issues are severely limited in discussion because most people assume everyone is already in agreement with each other. This makes it difficult for the right-leaning students to find a niche in the conversation.” He argues that a political discourse that features more disagreement is more likely to bring to light good ideas from different parts of the political spectrum. Other members have also considered the VCLU to be a supportive space. Kaufman explained, “For a long time, I used to hide my politics. I would not discuss them for fear that I would be unable to make friends because others would judge me as my label ‘Republican’ before my individual values, beliefs and actions. Nowadays, I do not worry so much. It’s more important to truthfully be yourself than to worry about what others think.” Student organizations on campus with political party affiliation have emphasized different objectives for their activities this semester. Chadbourne stated, “Vassar Democrats members are consistently frustrated regarding the actions that the Trump administration is taking and have been striving to provide spaces for their members and the larger Vassar community to discuss those issues and what concrete actions can be taken to resist.” Among the issues of interest to YAL are high levels of government spending, privacy concerns and free speech. Geraci said, “We plan to protest American foreign policy, namely our seemingly endless wars and widespread military bases, with a Generation of War/ Bring Them Home tabling event, in which we would educate the passersby about America’s dangerously aggressive foreign policy and the military-industrial complex, and describe a pro-liberty solution, such as bringing home all soldiers sent abroad.” In collaboration with non-profit organizations such as Victims of Communism, Students for Liberty and the Leadership Institute, YAL also aspires to bring speakers to campus ranging from Libertarian candidate for Governor of New York Larry Sharpe to gun rights activist Antonia Okafor and drug war journalist Radley Balko of the Washington Post. The VCR member who asked to remain anonymous concluded, “Ideas, beliefs and conversations definitely have an important role in local communities and politics. Given that young people comprise a significant voter base, political establishments will want to listen to what beliefs and ideas this generation has for the community or the country. This can’t happen if only one type of ideology is perpetuated on campus ... Raising the level of conversation at Vassar is a very important way to communicate with the rest of the community at large.”
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
March 29, 2018
Updates from the VSA Consensus Agenda – Passed Spring Elections Filing for spring elections will begin this Thursday, March 29 at 12 p.m. and run through Tuesday, April 3 at 12 p.m. See the below timeline for other relevant dates. Elections Timeline Filing: Thursday March 29 at 12 p.m. through Tuesday, April 3 at noon. Candidate’s meeting: Tuesday, April 3 at 7 p.m. (Location to be determined). Campaigning: Immediately after Candidate’s Meeting until Tuesday, April 10 at 12 p.m. Executive Board Debate: Thursday, April 5 at 7 p.m. Voting: Tuesday, April 10 at 12 p.m. through Thursday, April 12 at 12 p.m. Results announced: Thursday, April 12 evening (exact time to be determined). Global Campus Panel The panel discussion on what it means to be a global campus was held this Wednesday, March 28, at 5:30 in the Villard Room. This event was cosponsored by the VSA as part of the VSA 150th anniversary. Programming Committee No updates. Health and Wellness Committee No updates. Planning Committee No updates. Academics Committee No updates. Committee on Equity and Inclusion The Committees on Equity and Inclusion and Health and Wellness have partnered to create a self-care event centering students of color. It will be held Saturday, March 31, from 12 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. Finance Committee Annual budgeting applications are open and will remain open for the next two weeks. All orgs should apply if they will be seeking budgets for next year. Committee on Residential Affairs No updates. Organizations Committee No updates. Vice President No updates. President Current member of the Board of Trustees Tanya M. Odom ’92 will be visiting Vassar’s campus to talk with the VSA and students at her request. Next week, Dean of Strategic Planning and Academic Resources Marianne Begemann will be coming in to speak with Senate. —Julian Corbett, VSA General Intern
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March 29, 2018
M arusa Rus In this week’s headlines... President Donald Trump ordered the expulsion of 60 Russian diplomats from the United States and closed a Russian consulate in Seattle, WA. More than 20 countries have said they will expel more than 100 Russian diplomats altogether. This comes as a response to Russia’s alleged poisoning of a former Russian double agent, Sergei Skripal, and his daughter, Yulia Skripal. The Kremlin has denied any involvement and threatened to expell other countries’ diplomats from Russia (CNN, “Trump expelling 60 Russian diplomats in wake of UK nerve agent attack,” 03.26.2018). John Bolton and Mike Pompeo are the latest additions to President Trump’s foreign policy team. Bolton took the post of National Security Advisor after the President fired his predecessor, H.R McMaster. Following Trump’s ouster of former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, Pompeo will take over the job. Both men have a history of anti-Muslim statements and have links to conspiracy theorists who push forward false claims about Muslims.
Groups such as Human Rights Watch have called on lawmakers to speak out against the two men (Politico, “Bolton, and Pompeo might unleash Trump on ‘radical Islam,’” 03.26.2018). Stormy Daniels, the adult film star who says she had an affair with Trump, was interviewed by Anderson Cooper. During the interview, she claimed that in 2011 she was threatened when she tried to sell the story of her affair with Trump to a magazine. Karen McDougal, who used to be a Playboy model, was the second woman this month to claim that she had an affair with Trump. Both women tell similar stories of being paid to stay silent. Daniels was paid $130,000 by the President’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen, while McDougal received $150,000 from The National Enquirer’s parent company, American Life Inc, whose CEO, David Pecker, is friends with Trump (The New York Times, “Ex-Playboy Model Karen McDougal Sues to Speak on Alleged Trump Affair,” 03.20.2018). Former F.B.I. Deputy Director Andrew McCabe was fired on March 16, a day before his retirement. He was involved with the investigation of Trump’s campaign ties to Russia. According to Attorney General Jeff Sessions, he was fired due to his handling of the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails. As McCabe is a civil servant and not a political appointee he cannot be fired by the White House. However, the President has used his Twitter account to attack McCabe. This level of White House commentary is highly unusual and McCabe’s firing is seen by many as an attempt to discredit
him as a witness in Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s Russia investigation (The New York Times, “Andrew McCabe’s Firing: Here’s What We Know,” 03.19.2018). Facebook continues to be plagued by scandal surrounding the sharing of its users’ data. Facebook gave permission to University of Cambridge Professor Aleksandr Kogan to harvest information from certain users who downloaded Kogan’s personality test app, which also collected the data of Facebook friends of the users who downloaded it. Kogan gave the data to Cambridge Analytica, which was researching ways in which voters could be influenced. Initially, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg denied any possibility of Facebook’s involvement in influencing voters. In the meantime, Facebook’s stock is falling and the hashtag #DeleteFacebook is spreading (CNN Tech, “What you need to know about Facebook’s data debacle,” 03.20.2018). Around the world... Russian President Vladimir Putin won a fourth term, obtaining 77 percent of the vote. However, many consider the credibility of the elections questionable. For instance, Alexei Navalny, the main opposition candidate to Putin, was not allowed to run. Moreover, many statistical anomalies and cases of vote rigging are being highlighted by opposition activists. The Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe announced that there was no real choice in the elections. Trump and President of European Commission Jean-Claude Juncker congratulated Putin on his victory
Is Born: MLK’s Granddaughter At The March For Our Lives,” 03.24.2018). Along with speeches from young activists and students, multiple celebrities joined in by performing and marching, including Ben Platt, Lin Manuel-Miranda, Miley Cyrus and George Clooney. While the Washington march was the largest, the #NeverAgain movement quickly gained support from students around the world, who helped organize sister marches throughout the United States, as well as in other countries. In all, over 800 March For Our Lives events took place on March 24 (CBS, “March for Our Lives 2018 – Live Blog,” 03.24.2018). Among these there were marches in New York City and Boston, and one in the Hudson Valley, which drew more than 7,000 supporters (Poughkeepsie Journal, “More than 7,000 rally for gun regulation at March For Our Lives Hudson Valley,” 03.24.2018). The events received a great deal of attention from politicians on both ends of the political spectrum, though responses ranged in their support for the demonstration and movement itself. Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton supported the movement, tweeting, “Our future is in the right hands.” Former president Barack Obama responded on Twitter in the same vein, writing, “Keep at it. You’re leading us forward” (CBS, “March for Our Lives 2018 – Live Blog,” 03.24.2018). The official statement from the White House did not take a side on the gun control debate, but commended the young activists for exercising first-amendment rights (Bustle, “The White House Statement On March For Our Lives Is ... Brief,” 03.24.2018). Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL), whose district includes Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, stated that he supported the right of students to march, but that he hoped protesters would find common ground with opponents (CBS, “March for Our Lives 2018 – Live Blog,” 03.24.2018). He also stated, “Many other Americans do not support a gun ban. They too want to prevent mass shootings, but view banning guns as an infringement on the Second Amendment rights of law abiding citizens that ultimately will not prevent these tragedies” (ABC News, “Sen. Marco Rubio gets swift pushback for comments on March for
Our Lives,” 03.24.2018). This statement was met with pushback because it misinterpreted the goals of the march as calling for a gun ban. The National Rifle Association did not respond to the movement. Going forward, student activists are determined to keep the issue of school safety and gun violence alive through social media and future events. The next national walkout is planned for April 20, on the anniversary of the 1998 Columbine massacre. The #NeverAgain movement is also helping register young voters in their fight against violence (The Washington Post, “Next steps for student activists: More marches, walkouts, and voting,” 03.24.2018).
Page 5 (The Guardian, “Vladimir Putin secures record win in Russian presidential election,” 03.19.2018). A suicide bomber killed at least 31 people and wounded 65 at a shrine outside Kabul, Afganistan. The shrine is the site of two previous attacks, one in 2016, which killed 14, and one in 2011, which killed 59 (BBC News, “Kabul Sakhi shrine: ‘Dozens dead’ in New Year attack,” 03.21.2018). Myanmar President Htin Kyaw, who was the country’s first civilian president since the 1960s and one of the closest allies of State Counsellor Aung San Suu Kyi, resigned last week due to poor health. The resignation comes as international pressure has been building to help the country’s Rohingya population, a Muslim ethnic minority that has been facing ethnic cleansing (CNN, “Myanmar President Htin Kyaw resigns,” 03.21.2018). The African Union negotiated a free trade agreement, which was signed last week by the majority of the members. Out of 55 member countries, 11 did not sign it, including Nigeria, which is the largest economy in Africa (CNN, “44 African countries agree free trade agreement, Nigeria yet to sign,” 03.23.2018). The U.S. has increased its sanctions against Venezuela’s authoritarian regime. Trump signed an executive order banning the buying and selling of the Petro, a digital currancy, and added four names to the list of Venezuelan officials whose American assets are frozen. (The New York Times, “White House Bans Venezuela’s Digital Currency and Expands Sanctions,” 03.19.2018).
News Briefs Millions march for gun control “Not one more. We cannot allow one more child to be shot at school. We cannot allow one more teacher to make a choice to jump in front of a firing assault rifle to save the lives of students. We cannot allow one more family to wait for a call or text that never comes. Our schools are unsafe. Our children and teachers are dying. We must make it our top priority to save these lives.” On March 24, an estimated 800,000 people joined together in Washington, D.C., for a demonstration in support of the above mission statement (USA Today, “March for Our Lives could be the biggest single-day protest in D.C.’s history,” 03.25.2018). The demonstration, called March For Our Lives, was a protest against gun violence, specifically focusing on the recent school shootings that highlight the threats of firearms. The March For Our Lives event was organized primarily by students involved in the #NeverAgain movement. #NeverAgain was started by survivors of the school shooting that took place on Feb. 14 at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL, killing 17 students and faculty (BBC, “March For Our Lives: Huge gun-control rallies sweep US,” 03.24.2018). Some of these survivors spoke at the March For Our Lives event in Washington, including Emma Gonzalez, who has become a face of the movement since she began to speak out against lawmakers in the days following the shooting in her high school. At the rally, she led an unexpected moment of silence lasting six minutes and twenty seconds—the same amount of time the massacre at her school lasted (People, “Emma Gonzalez Cries While Leading Powerful Moment of Silence During March for Our Lives Protest,” 03.24.2018). The rally also featured a speech from 11-yearold activist Naomi Wadler, who spoke in honor of the African American girls who get killed due to gun violence—both in school shootings and racially motivated shootings involving police— but rarely make the news (CBS, “March for Our Lives 2018 – Live Blog,” 03.24.2018). Yolanda Renee King, granddaughter of Martin Luther King Jr., spoke at the Washington event as well, stating, “I have a dream that enough is enough and that this should be a gun free world” (Forbes, “A Star
—Pazit Schrecker, Guest Reporter Brazilian politician murdered [TW: Violence against a queer woman of color] On the night of March 14, Brazil councilwoman Marielle Franco and her driver Anderson Pedro Gomez were murdered after leaving an event called “Black Women Changing Power Structures” in Rio de Janeiro. The killing of the long-time human rights activist has mobilized thousands of people around the world to demand justice (Time, “The Assassination of Brazilian Politician Marielle Franco Turned Her Into a Global Icon,” 03.22.2018). As Franco was leaving the event, an unidentified person in a vehicle approached her car and opened fire, killing her and her driver. Marielle was shot four times in the head, and a press officer sitting in the back seat was also badly wounded. Nine shots were fired total (Al Jazeera, “Marielle Franco may be gone, but she is not silenced,” 03.21.2018). Born and raised in the Maré favela, one of Rio de Janeiro’s most dangerous slums, 38-year-old Franco was a fierce advocate for marginalized communities, including the poor, Afro-Brazilians, women and the LGBTQ community, all of which she considered herself a part of. Franco was also a harsh critic of Brazilian President Michel Temer’s federal intervention in the city. As a Black lesbian single mother, she was a minority several times over in Brazilian politics and the only Black
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
woman in Rio’s 51-member city council (Time). Being raised in Maré had a significant influence on Franco and her family. The Brazilian favelas, or slums, are home to approximately 140,000 people, two drug gangs and a paramilitary group. The neighborhoods also have one of the lowest human development indexes in Rio. Franco’s sister recalled how they had to cope with school being canceled because of street violence, and would often walk by bodies lying in the streets. Despite this, Franco made it to university, earned a Master’s degree and became a Brazilian councilor who won the fifth most votes in the 2016 Rio election (BBC News, “Marielle Franco: Vivacious fighter shaped by the favela,” 22.03.2018) When interviewed after Franco’s death, her sister hypothesized that Franco was killed because she was becoming too much of a menace to the Brazilian government (BBC News). Her assassination was a message to human rights defenders: by killing Franco, her opposition also tried to kill the resistance, and suppress the fight for equal rights. Many activists believe Franco was killed for speaking out against abuses of military and police power in Brazil. Several people have also critiqued the Brazilian law enforcement for repeatedly impugning peaceful protestors. These protests, most of which are led by young Brazilians, focus on mass discontent with the Brazilian leadership and dissatisfaction with the nation’s political system as a whole. As police continue to investigate Franco’s murder, many of her followers are looking to the upcoming elections as an opportunity to continue the work that she has started (Time). The importance of Marielle Franco as a political figure in Brazil as well as the devastation in the wake of her death cannot be overstated. As a queer, poor woman of color, Franco was a minority within Brazil’s political institutions. However, she represented the majority of the Brazilian people, many of whom are female, Black and also live in the favelas. Her legacy lives on in the lasting changes she has made in Brazil and in the work of the many she inspired. —Mary Retta, Guest Reporter
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March 29, 2018
WVKR highlights femme, nonbinary electronic artists Olivia Feltus Reporter
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few weeks ago, hot pink, vaporwave-esque posters, featuring a soda can and flash drive, could be seen scattered across campus advertising an event called Pink Noises. Sponsored by Vassar’s independent radio station WVKR, this event, according to WVKR’s website, exists to celebrate femme and nonbinary artists who work in electronic music. Similar to but not the same as Tara Rogers’ 2010 book of the same name, Pink Noises seeks to bring to light underrepresented demographics through this annual event. This year, it took place on March 3, with two parts: a music workshop at 5 p.m. in Rockefeller Hall
with a subsequent show at 10 p.m. in the Shiva. Since 2014, Pink Noises has enchanted Vassar’s campus with an evening of music that brings a new lineup to the table each year. This year’s lineup included Nkisi, BEARCAT, s0ln0va and Ariel Zetina, all electronic musicians based in locales from New York City to London. Gathering in the Shiva to share their sound, the performers— bathed in colorful lights—entertained crowds of people with their music. WVKR’s website states that the performances by the artists following the interactive workshops is akin to a godsend: “This two-part event begins with a series of workshops led by 4 incredible visiting artists. Later that evening these very same artists will showcase their
Courtesy of Delphine Douglas
On March 3, WVKR brought its annual event, “Pink Noises” to campus, where femme and nonbinary electronic artists led interactive workshops and performed for students.
skills, blessing us with set after live set.” To have a show that is this successful, the visiting artists must go through a rigorous selection process. Promotions Director Delphine Douglas ’18 wrote in an email statement about how artists are selected for Pink Noises: “We each reached out to artists we thought would be a good fit and liked personally and coordinated so that we had a cohesive sound, but also a variety in terms of what workshops they would offer, geographic location, and amount of experience/ notoriety in the genre.” Douglas continued, regarding how planning for the event has been active from the beginning of the year: “We all started meeting early fall semester to talk about who we wanted to book, and then sent out emails to artists we wanted. Then we all sat down and agreed on a lineup together and the people who initially reached out to each artist took on handling the logistics for that person. We all shared a lot of tasks and putting on the show was definitely a team effort.” As an event, Pink Noises has morphed and changed over the years; Douglas explained, “At some points it was Hip Hop and Electronic music, while this year we just focused on Electronic music. Different people have taken the lead on organizing it each year and that means it ends up being slightly different, but overall I think the main idea is still there.” Earlier in the day, the workshops provided a casual space for attendees to speak to their mentors as well as the other artists who would be performing later. As Douglas elucidated, “It was really cool to see the artists chatting with each other and get a sense of their relationships— some of them were excited to be meeting for the first time, or happy to be reunited, and it was really cool to see those connections happening at
Pink Noises.” Later at night, the Shiva was, one could say, alive with Pink Noises: lights and live music bounced around the room, creating a distinctive energy that befit the name of the event. Attendee Miles Thibodeaux ’21 encompassed the various different feels that the room had throughout the night: “The light show mixed with the repetitive music created a trance-like atmosphere. It was cool that the DJ was mixing the music live so that it could better match the mood of the room, although it did get pretty intense at points. All in all it was a fun experience.” Abigail Davis ’21 related a similar experience: “Pink Noises brought booming bass, electronic beats, and electrifying lights. The live mixing made every song feel endless and new all at once. My favorite part was the atmosphere of the event, particularly the flashing lights, which had a ravelike effect. I wasn’t a huge fan of the music—at least, I wouldn’t listen to it on my own—but the event was pretty neat.” Audience member Isabel Braham ‘20 [Full Disclosure: Braham is Assistant Arts Editor of The Miscellany News] shared her opinion as well: “It was empowering to see female electronic DJs and the music was very catchy. Everyone was dancing a lot; it was a party.” Douglas was very pleased with the turnout of the event. She commented, “I think WVKR is also really committed to music, and this lineup to me is some of the best of the best and fits in musically with what plays on a number of WVKR shows. This was our one big event this year and it’s cool to see that all the energy and resources went into an event that we really stand behind with artists who we most wanted to support.” As an annual event, Pink Noises has succeeded in bringing talented guest artists to Vassar’s campus, and will likely continue into the future.
Del Toro subverts with creature feature/rom-com hybrid Matt Stein
Assistant Arts Editor The Shape of Water
Guillermo del Toro Fox Searchlight Pictures
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of those actors who appears in everything and yet never receives proper attention. It’s difficult to pin down whether “The Shape of Water” deserved the Oscar for Best Picture. This year’s nominees featured a variety of important films such as “Get Out” and “Lady Bird.” Based on how the other award ceremonies went, however, it was between this film and Martin McDonagh’s “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.” While I am a huge McDonagh fan, as an overall production, it makes sense that “The Shape of Water” won. Both films have their flaws, especially when it comes to representation. “Three Billboards” speaks about police brutality and yet it tokenizes the black characters as sidekicks without personality and makes jokes about racial profiling. “The Shape of Water” struggles with representation as well. It’s very difficult to find representation for the mute community in film. To my
knowledge, the most significant mute character was Holly Hunter’s character in “The Piano.” However, that was 1993, and Holly Hunter isn’t mute in real life. Neither is Sally Hawkins. This makes the question of representation in “The Shape of Water” very difficult to tackle and not something that can easily be resolved. However, unlike “Three Billboards,” “The Shape of Water” at least evinces a sense of greater awareness of the role marginalized voices deserve by making Elisa the protagonist. The “Shape of Water” can be addressed in two different ways: on the surface and allegorically. If one chooses the first method, then they get to watch what would happen if “Free Willy” or “E.T” were a rom-com. However, if one chooses the latter method, this film is about those that belong and deserve to be heard in a world that too often silences them.
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
hen I was growing up, my brother was obsessed with the monster movies that Universal Studios made in the early 20th century. I can attest that we’ve seen his favorite, “Creature from the Black Lagoon,” over 100 times. Because these movies have been so burned into my childhood memories, I often find it very difficult to find a comparable new “creature” film. However, Guillermo Del Toro’s “The Shape of Water” is all that and more. Even before we meet the “creature,” Alexandre Desplat’s score of flutes, harps and accordions frames Elisa’s (played by Sally Hawkins) daily commute on the bus through the emerald-tinted cityscape. Set in an alternate 1960s Baltimore, “The Shape of Water” displays numerous tropes of both the horror and romantic comedy genres, such as when Elisa offers an egg to the “creature” and he places his hand slowly and sweetly over hers to show that they are becoming better acquainted. Such a moment would cause the audience to groan except for the fact that this film exists in such a hybridized state, bearing the outer shell of a creature feature but the inner heart of a romance. Del Toro has captured the veiled social commentary of James Whale’s horror films and Rod Serling’s “The Twilight Zone” while evoking the whimsical naiveté of “Amélie” or a Chaplin romantic comedy. Del Toro has approached this film with the same passion for mythology that his other works, particularly “Pan’s Labyrinth,” embrace. However, while “The Shape of Water” constructs this mystery around the nature of the “creature” and creates a setting akin to the Emerald City, it also
shatters the squeaky-clean nostalgia with which we view 1950s/60s America. First of all, the film gives a voice to marginalized communities both of that time and of today. Elisa is mute and uses sign language. Her two best friends are Zelda (Octavia Spencer), a Black woman, and Giles (Richard Jenkins), a closeted gay man. The character who does fit this rigid interpretation of the American Dream is Strickland (Michael Shannon), a military official and “model citizen” with two children, a nice house in the suburbs and a fancy Cadillac. In this narrative, however, he is the antagonist. Strickland is destructive to anything that isn’t homogenous and preaches stereotypical American idealism. Perhaps Strickland is a commentary on today’s current political climate, giving the audience a taste of when America was supposedly “great.” If anything shows a departure from assumptions, it’s the character of the “creature.” While Strickland frequently others him by calling him “the asset,” the audience sees someone who may not be human but does seem to have feelings. The film takes it a step further, though, in his relationship with Elisa. We witness these characters in moments of intimacy that make him more than an object of her desire, but a sentient being who shows equal capacity for empathy. Elisa reminds the other characters throughout that he is more than just a fish-thing; he means something to her. None of the actors have big names or legions of followers, but each is able to capture the mixture of truth and likeability that makes a role jump from the script and into a living, breathing character. The four main actors, Hawkins, Spencer, Jenkins and Shannon, have consistently given strong performances, and this film allows each to show their talent. I’m a bit partial toward Michael Stuhlbarg, who played Dr. Robert Hoffstetler, but that’s mainly because I’m still in awe over that final monologue from “Call Me by Your Name.” And then there’s Doug Jones as the “creature.” He’s one
Guillermo del Toro’s “The Shape of Water” recently won the Oscar for Best Picture. The film stars Sally Hawkins as Elisa, a mute cleaning woman who communicates using sign language.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
March 29, 2018
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A disaster behind-the-scenes: James Franco disappoints Isabel Braham
Assistant Arts Editor The Disaster Artist
James Franco Warner Bros.
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ere’s a film not to watch: “The Disaster Artist.” Directed by and starring James Franco, “The Disaster Artist” was released this past December and had audiences in a newly revived frenzy over the 2003 film “The Room.” Funny and easy to watch, “The Disaster Artist” is a comedy about the infamous “best worst movie,” “The Room,”
which has gained a cult following for its distinctly bad acting and nonsensical plot. While the movie may have successfully captured some laughs and was idolized at this year’s awards shows, Franco’s behavior behind the scenes is too appalling to give the movie acclaim. It would be hard to understand what “The Disaster Artist” is about without understanding the cultural phenomenon that is “The Room,” a movie directed by and starring Tommy Wiseau. What makes “The Room” so hilariously lovable is that it is poorly done, albeit with charm, in every way. The characters have little substance, there is isn’t a clear plot (although there are multiple awkward and random sex scenes), and there were many
Courtesy of Vimeo
“The Disaster Artist” recreates Wiseau’s iconic 2003 film, “The Room,” and stars James Franco. However, Franco’s troublesome treatment of women, as well as his co-star Wiseau, disappoint.
outrageous lines that seem to go unexplored or cause little reaction among the characters. While the movie is intended to be a serious soap opera– esque film, the bizarre acting, plot and writing only make it a hilarious, dry-humored tease. On top of the intrigue that results from its notably bad content, the main actor, Wiseau, provides a whole other element of curiousness. Claiming to be an all-American guy from New Orleans, Wiseau has a strong accent unlike any Southerner, an eccentric punk style and long black hair. While he claims to be in his 20s, he is quite obviously much older, and how he was able to fund the whole project is another perplexing question that has evoked much interest among followers. “The Disaster Artist” is about how “The Room” came to be, from the friendship between Wiseau and co-star Greg Sestero that eventually lead to the idea to create the movie, to the filming, to its laughter-filled debut. Because the movie and Wiseau have such personality, it is rumored that Franco directed in character, employing Wiseau’s quirky accent and style throughout filming. With a unique story to work with, it’s clear how “The Disaster Artist” could easily be loved by audiences as well. On the whole, the movie is funny. Even if the viewer doesn’t know much about “The Room” (I had only seen clips before I watched “The Disaster Artist”), the hilarious absurdity of the original movie still comes through. I found myself quoting the movie weeks after, and ended up researching and watching more clips of “The Room.” That said, “The Disaster Artist” really only capitalized off of the greatness of “The Room” and helped the movie reach a more mainstream audience. Personally, I found that “The Disaster Artist” as its own entity was hard to champion; much of my reasoning for this was due to what I found
out about Franco after I saw the movie. In my brief moment of becoming a cult follower of “The Room,” I watched a lot of interviews with Wiseau and Franco. I was aware that Franco isn’t known to be the nicest person in Hollywood, but I was shocked to see him be a complete jerk to Wiseau in his interviews about the movie. He would cut Wiseau off mid-sentence and openly make fun of him. For someone who essentially hijacked and greatly profited off of another person’s creative ideas, Franco could have been more respectful to the person who inspired him. Disappointed by this rude behavior on Franco’s behalf and well aware of his privilege as a male in Hollywood, I wasn’t shocked when I heard about the sexual misconduct he has been accused of by multiple women who worked with and for him. At this point, it seems like very few pieces of Hollywood media, film and art are untainted by extremely problematic creators. While it would be nice to separate the art from the artist, I think it is extremely important as a critical viewer in this day and age to evaluate the whole creative process and fight against what is unfair. In that vein, because of Franco’s treatment of women and Wiseau, I cannot say that “The Disaster Artist” is worthy of any praise. Besides, without the unconventional brilliance of Wiseau that inspired the whole movie, “The Disaster Artist” would not have existed. All in all, “The Room” is quirky, heartwarming in a weird way and unintentionally a laugh fest and I would recommend watching it, as it is the original. On the other hand, in light of Franco’s behavior, I would not recommend watching the “The Disaster Artist.” Wiseau famously shouts in “The Room” over his love for his fiancée, “Lisa, you’re tearing me apart!” I think it’s fair to say, “James Franco, you’re tearing us all apart”—and not in a good way!
VRDT Bardavon performance emanates passion, grace Kelly Vinett
Guest Reporter
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say has now become the highlight of most of our shows.” Talwar-Hebert, who considers dance her passion, explained how being in VRDT has given her a sense of place and peace amidst her increasingly busy schedule: “No matter what else I have going on in a day, dance is a bit of an escape. It clears my mind [and] gives me a fresh perspective.” The second-to-last piece, “La Milonga De Amor,” brought Latin Ballroom to the stage. Taking this traditional dance up a notch, the music pulsed with an electronic beat. The piece centered around a couple undertaking impressive lifts and spins. This pair’s dynamics were simply electric. Talwar-Hebert confirmed that Lieser’s work was definitely a show-stopper. “She took on a whole new style of dance that I’ve never seen before in a VRDT show and made an incredibly fierce piece.
Her choreography was strong but fun and fastpaced.” The show came to a close with the finale. In this epic ending, all class years entered onto stage in consecutive order with their respective groups. The finale was not the time to hold back. For the company, it provided a moment of togetherness in which all of its members were moving their feet, feeling their combined energy reverberating in this shared space. Overall, the students’ passion for dance rang clear, demonstrated by their perfect footwork stemming from hours of practice despite being full-time students. Both dancers and faculty seamlessly worked together to put on a performance that was a stunning reminder of how the body has the power to convey an immense amount of feeling and emotion.
Courtesy of Mitch Davis
or the members of the Vassar Repertory Dance Theatre, or VRDT, dance is not a hobby; dance is a way of life. It is like breathing, but better. Telling stories with the human body, in all the rigor that entails, is their passion. Their most recent performance at the Bardavon Theatre on March 3 and 4 in downtown Poughkeepsie revealed their deep commitment to this art form. Introducing the show, VRDT director and Professor of Dance on the Frances D. Fergusson Chair John Meehan applauded the massive dedication the dancers had put in to make the show a success. He reminded the audience that there is no major or correlate for dance at Vassar. Therefore, to put on a professional performance at a venue such as the Bardavon, when it’s only an extracurricular for all the performers, is quite a remarkable feat. Soon after, the velvet curtain slowly parted. The show had begun. The first performance was a classical ballet; the dancers wore delicate, all-white tutus. The second performance was modern by comparison. The pace picked up at the start of the third performance with a piece entitled “Tear Down the Walls.” The music almost emanated out of the dancers’ bodies and into those of the audience. Their chaotic, pulsating movements were balanced by moments of peace and stillness. A narrative began to emerge as the four dancers mirrored each other’s movements, two wearing red, two wearing black. Although the meaning of this contemporary dance was ambiguous, it exuded elements of loss and heartache as invisible boundaries were broken with the human body. Another notable performance, due to its modern style and greater volume of dancers, was “Zenith.” It was choreographed by VRDT Chair of Dance and Resident Choreographer Steve Rooks and danced to an original score by Vassar’s Adjunct Artist in Dance Howard Kilik. Rooks said,
“This new work, ‘Zenith,’ is an homage to a more classic form of modern dance, and is in some ways informed by my experience as a dancer in the Martha Graham Dance Company...The dance is about coming to that moment of personal breakthrough.” The background featured a purple sky broken by the yellow sun, which added to this motif. Henry Gilbert ’20 was the male soloist, and his dancing revealed the torment of self-reflection. It was almost as if Gilbert’s body was a marble statue, resisting stillness to finally experience life. It was clear that the self-reflection and discovery envisioned by Rooks was perfectly executed by the ensemble. Rooks also commented on the experience of working with Vassar students: “It is quite an honor to work with students who are self-motivated and passionate about dance. They are tenacious and accomplish an incredible amount of work in a relatively short amount of time.” Senior Lecturer in Dance and Drama Katherine Wildberger also noted, “Choreographing a new work [for] these dancers is a gift. They bring to the rehearsal hall an honesty and work ethic that is completely professional.” In other words, as Wildberger described, “The dancers are gold.” The student choreography provided another inspiring element to the show. Maya Talwar-Hebert ’20 spoke about what it takes to choreograph a piece for VRDT: “It can feel really vulnerable and scary to put your work out on stage for everyone to see. But the end result is so amazing; I felt so proud seeing something I’d worked so hard on and really pushed myself to create be performed by such an amazing cast.” Talwar-Hebert went on to explain why VRDT’s student choreography is unique: “The dancers in the company all come from very different dance backgrounds, and being in a student piece is an amazing way to take a risk and try out a different dance style.” Echoing Talwar-Hebert’s sentiment, Rooks elucidated, “The student choreography continues to develop exponentially, and I would dare
Vassar Repertory Dance Theater performed at Bardavon on March 3 and March 4, showcasing student talent in a wide range of innovative pieces, some student-choreographed.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
ARTS
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March 29, 2018
Chicago-based drama ‘The Chi’ explores city’s hardships Eloudia Odamy Guest Columnist The Chi
Lena Waithe Showtime
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out for them, especially if they live in disadvantaged neighborhoods. Another critique is that the plot is slow, and at some points I wondered if the story was going to progress into one that made sense. Although at some points, confusion ensues, the season ended up being extremely interesting. “The Chi” can be weighed against an NBC media franchise called “Chicago”, with sub-series named “Chicago Med,” “Chicago P.D” and “Chicago Fire.” While both “The Chi” and this trilogy of shows are set in Chicago, the predominantly Black cast of “The Chi” sharply contrasts the predominantly white cast of the “Chicago” franchise. Additionally, the trilogy focuses on
the middle class and the problems its members face at work, while “The Chi” is really all about revealing the issues that plague the working class every single day. In this way, “The Chi” is far more socially relevant than previous Chicago-based shows. Creator, Writer and Producer of “The Chi” Lena Waithe, of is able to depict some of the real hardships of living in Chicago—hardships that she herself viscerally understands—making the show well worth watching. Ending season one on a strong note and being renewed for season two after just four episodes of the first season, “The Chi” is ripe with hidden promise that is finally starting to be recognized.
Courtesy of Wikimedia
ith a plethora of TV shows on the air right now, it can be hard to see which ones will deliver and which ones will not. There are many different reasons why people would rather watch a certain TV show over another; I personally look for a non-mainstream show, as well as something outside of what I usually watch. Stumbling upon the trailer for Showtime’s newest drama, “The Chi,” and watching the first episode on YouTube, I was hooked. “The Chi” is a tale that follows the lives of four African-American men living in the South Side of Chicago. One fateful event suddenly brings them together and their lives are intertwined. One thing “The Chi” does well is slowly introduce viewers to the four men who are connected, but do not know it yet. It starts off with a murder that leads us to Brandon, an aspiring chef; then Emmett, a teen father who sells shoes for money; Kevin, a 14-year-old who is looking to impress his crush; and Ronnie, a man who is looking for his son’s shooter. As season one progresses, there are multiple scenes that dive into who these characters are and what drives them each day, making them each complex in their own ways. With minor characters also playing essential roles in the storyline, we get a wide range of ages as well as significant representation. “The Chi” could have focused on using only adults to tell a story, but it also includes teenagers and chil-
dren. Character development is also key. The personalities of the characters change to the point where you love them and feel bad for them, whether they are good or bad. The actors portray these characters so well and bring them to life. Another aspect of “The Chi” that keeps viewers watching is the problems incorporated into the show, which are expertly woven in with the storyline to make it more realistic. One of the characters, Emmett, grapples with the hardship of teenage pregnancy. All the characters struggle with poverty, especially Brandon, who seeks to find money for his new business. Kevin and his friends have to deal with high school, as well as the prominent issues of drug-dealing and losing peers to gun violence. With its depiction of real-life issues, the show makes these characters, and their lives, relatable to real people living in America. “The Chi” has been compared to HBO’s “The Wire.” Set in Baltimore, “The Wire” explores the city’s drug scene. It is widely regarded as one of the best shows of all time, primarily because it is a realistic portrayal of life in the city, just as “The Chi” is. This is what makes “The Chi” an amazing show. It is a glaring reality that requires viewers to confront their surroundings, rather than finding comfort in a fictitious setting. Critics have noted, and I agree, that there seems to an unending supply of despair in this show. There seems to be no hope for these characters, and if something good happens, it quickly goes to ruins. I have to both agree and disagree with this point. A show with a lot of negativity can obviously start to feel draining, as though there is a distressing event waiting around every corner. Yet at the same time, people living on the South Side of Chicago don’t always have fairytale lives, and things do not always work
Set in Chicago, Showtime’s newest drama, “The Chi,” has a predominantly Black cast and realistically centers the conversation on hardships of living on the South Side of Chicago.
‘Atlanta’ confronts white audiences, cultural appropriation Jimmy Christon Columnist
Atlanta
Donald Glover 20th Television
“A
propriation of hip-hop better than the second episode of the second season of “Atlanta.” In the first season, we saw the character Paper Boi rise to some acclaim, and witnessed how this fame impacted him as he tried to place himself in his community. This season, we are seeing Paper Boi rise in fame, as he begins to receive recognition from Atlanta as a whole. With this rise comes a white audience depicted within the show, from minivan moms to “woke” pot dealers who are comically unaware of how to interact with Paper Boi’s music—i.e. with Black art unintended for a white gaze. Yet these are not the moments of mirth that are talked about in the context of this show. It’s always the fake commercials from last season’s episode “B.A.N.” I am yet to come across a white fan of the
show who has raved about the fantastic discomfort of the “Juneteenth” episode before resorting to praising Darius for being such a funny stoner. Name-dropping Chapelle earlier was not an ignorant blunder on my part. One of the main reasons Chappelle quit television was that white audiences removed his commentary from his comedy; the popular quote from the man goes along the lines that people weren’t laughing with Chappelle and his show; they were laughing at him. I can’t help but see this same process happening here with Glover and his artistic creation that is “Atlanta.” I love this show to death, but every time I’ve talked about it with those currently watching it, there’s always something missing. For me, I see this missing piece as a lack of critical engagement from white audience members.
Courtesy of Wikimedia
tlanta,” a show well worth your time, has been a long-time promise for the fans of Donald Glover, who plays protagonist Earnest “Earn” Marks. A TV show/passion project dedicated to the city in which “30 Rock” alum Glover grew up felt like something too good to be true: a work that would remain at the fringes of things to come, but would never get fully realized. Now that I’m well into the second season, I’m very happy to say that “Atlanta” doesn’t just fulfill this promise, but almost completely realizes this dream. A year from the release of the original season, I wouldn’t hesitate in the slightest to say that “Atlanta” is one of the most refreshing TV shows I’ve seen. I don’t want to spend too much time telling you why this show is so funny because you should really let the show speak for itself instead of getting the watered-down (and ultimately inaccurate) version from yours truly. So I’ll tell you this: What this show nails is pacing. From the speed of dialogue to the pace of an episode, everything in this show runs seamlessly. The last episode of season one, “The Jacket,” is a testament to this: The episode runs through chicken sandwiches, strip clubs and blunt-eating in a way that mirrors the protagonist’s slow crawl in his search for the missing jacket. One moment Earn is using Snapchat to follow the events of a drunken night, and the next he’s engaging in one of the funniest stoned conversations ever depicted on screen. But nothing ever feels rushed or too slow. Everything takes place in the manner that it should: There’s a flow to the way
events play out that feels both relatable and perfect for the needs of the plot. Another thing this show nails is its effortless and excellent use of the imagination. From unexpected whiteface to fake Yoo-hoo commercials, “Atlanta” has always been one of those shows where I am completely at the whim of the writers, and I am always surprised and satisfied with the path each episode takes. However, I don’t think this creativity necessarily justifies the label of surrealism that gets attached to this show—a label I shall elaborate on later in the article. Furthermore, this show is creative, but it isn’t necessarily unique. If you’ve seen “30 Rock,” “Chappelle’s Show,” or even Adult Swim classics such as “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” you’ve seen the type of comedy that “Atlanta” excels at. If this show is surreal, it’s about as surreal as a sketch from Chappelle or an episode of late-night television. And this is where my biggest issue lies with the show thus far: “Atlanta,” to me, is next-in-line to enter the scene of popular Black television that interacts significantly with a white audience. In order for this show to get the recognition it deserves, this particular audience must seriously consider their white gaze while watching the show. With its depiction of race relations—particularly of white appropriation of Black culture—this show directly addresses white audiences, and it’s extremely pertinent that these audiences recognize the magnitude of the matters being posed towards them. Currently, there’s a weird silence surrounding the real issues, wherein random labels like “surreal” get slapped on to mask the lack of critical engagement that white audiences have with the show. Coming solely from the first season, this might not seem like a big deal, as appropriation was only the topic of a couple episodes, but the second season has thankfully amplified the social commentary provided by the show. I’ve never seen any artistic piece trace the ap-
“Atlanta,” starring Donald Glover as the protagonist Earnest “Earn” Marks, critically engages with white audiences, increasingly addressing race relations in recent episodes.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
ARTS
March 29, 2018
Campus Canvas
A weekly space highlighting the creative pursuits of student-artists
Page 9 submit to misc@vassar.edu
Excuse me, What is your dream job? “...an environmental chemist who specifically studies the environmental effects of climate change in the Caribbean Sea. I’d get to live in paradise and do what I love. ” — Melanie Susman ’21 “A travel photographer. I would like to take pictures for people because I enjoy connecting with people.” — Keming Yan ’21
“Director of NASA. I want to control where we go in space.” — Simone Karuga ’20
“The founder of a nonprofit. Maybe a shelter dedicated to housing people and giving them access to mental health services.” — Kci Archibald ’20
“A professional soccer player.” — Tim Collins ’19
“President of the United States.” — Henrik Olsson ’20
Megan Wang is a second-year International Studies major at Vassar College. She makes art to feel connected to herself, others, and the universe at large. Support her artwork through following her on instagram [at]smokefreevc, and purchasing her art at cargocollective.com/meganwang.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Leah Cates, Humor & Satire Yesenia Garcia, Humor & Satire Hannah Benton, Photography
FEATURES
Page 10
March 29, 2018
Spring Break brings writer back to homeland in Saigon Kimberly Nguyen
Social Media Editor
“L
Kimberly Nguyen/The Miscellany News
adies and gentlemen, welcome to Ho Chi Minh City. The current time is 10:13 p.m. and the current temperature…” I sobbed when I got off the plane. For the first time in 12 years, I was home. Despite how long I had been away, I still remembered my house with the blue walls and the staircase my mother said she hid behind to scare her sister when she was a kid. I still remembered the blue gate and the grey couch and the balcony with the hammock. When my uncle picked me up from the airport to take me home, I was ready to see my home again, except it wasn’t there. My house had been remodeled. It turns out a lot can change in Saigon in 12 years. I was a little taken aback by how much had changed. Things have certainly gotten more expensive; there are millions more cars and traffic jams and there are way too many Starbucks that I don’t remember seeing the last time I was there. Yet a lot has stayed the same. My neighbors are still the same people, the food is still phenomenal and Saigon is still the most beautiful city I’ve ever seen. Within 24 hours, I had settled into Saigon like I’d never left. At 5 a.m. every morning I would climb up to the roof to watch the sun rise. The street I live on is most beautiful on the edge of the sunrise. Right before dawn it’s cool enough that the neighbourhood cats are still out and about, the breeze is light and refreshing after a good night’s sleep and the roosters crow every five minutes to welcome the morning light. And as the sun rises, so do the people. Around 7 a.m., I would take my coffee in the doorway of my house and watch the kids walk to school. Soon after, the peddlers would start walking by with
their bells and whistles. At 9 a.m., I would soak in the Saigon sun on the balcony and listen to the hustle and bustle of my neighbourhood. I also saw my family for the first time in 12 years, and the reunion was emotional. They all told me I’d gotten so big and that I looked like my mother. They said I was beautiful and asked if I had a boyfriend. I showed my family pictures of myself and my friends and my life in America (mostly snow because they’d never seen it before), and they showed me pictures of everything I’d missed while I was gone. One of the most moving things about seeing my family was how willing they were to immediately include me (and feed me) even though I was basically a stranger. One of my cousins gave me his poetry books because he knew I liked poetry, and my other cousin was very excited to hang out with me, even though I’d hit her 12 years ago. I truly believe that returning to Vietnam as a Vietnamese-American is incredibly special. When you’re a Vietnamese citizen, saying “I am Vietnamese” is something rather ordinary. There is no doubt, no document or geographical divide that says otherwise. There is no questioning or need to return to your roots. But as a Vietnamese-American, saying “I am Vietnamese” is a statement of identity and displacement all at the same time. But saying those words as a Vietnamese-American in Vietnam became a statement of power, and ultimately, survival. On my last night, my neighbour reminded me that Vietnam was my motherland, and I couldn’t help but cry. It was moving to hear that all this time that I was doubting whether or not I belong to my people, they never once doubted that I belong to them. Nothing can beat the feeling of being exactly where you’re supposed to be, the feeling of
Pictured is Saigon glowing golden at sunset. The author took this photo from the back of her cousin’s motorcycle; she reports that the main mode of transportation in Vietnam is motorcycles. absolute belonging, and that was the best part of the two weeks. Even as I was encountering things completely new to me, I never felt like a stranger. I felt at home, peaceful and content. My family was around me, the weather was perfect (some say Saigon’s too hot, but I disagree), and I was completely soaked in my motherland. I spent two weeks eating non-stop with my family, basking in the sun and viewing the city from the back of my cousin’s motorbike. On my last motorbike ride through Saigon, I pulled out my phone and recorded a voice memo of my ride through the city so that when I’m sad
I can close my eyes and listen to the sound of the city and see myself there: happy, with the sun on my skin and breeze running through my hair, on the back of a motorbike riding through my most beloved city. I didn’t want to leave, but alas— spring break was almost over. When my uncle dropped me off at the airport, I cried so hard I forgot to read my boarding pass and boarded the wrong plane, but I made it onto the right one eventually and I’m already planning the next time I’m going to visit my family again. It’ll be a little while, probably December, but I can’t wait to go home again.
Roommates’ confessions: When law and order lies in chaos Abby Knuckles Guest Columnist
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n everyday life I may seem like a put-together quasi-adult, but that perception usually shatters when someone enters my dorm room for the first time. More often than not, my space is littered with discarded clothing, the evidence of tea made and all manner of academic supplies. It’s not like I set out to be the messy roommate; I try my best to keep my things organized and out of the way, but I seem to have some sort of longstanding mental block preventing me from keeping my living space completely orderly. I’m not even a particularly disorganized person. Sure, like all students I sometimes struggle with time management and procrastination, but overall I usually have my act together with in-
tangible organization. It should be easy to just apply that concept to my living space, but every time I get close to consistently maintaining order, something throws me off. I’ve definitely noticed that my messy tendencies spike whenever I experience extra stress. My tea-making supplies overtake my workspace, which is a useful metaphor for my coping strategies as a whole. Luckily, I have an actual angel for a roommate, and she understands that I really am trying not to let my giant piles of stuff expand to fill all available space. She will occasionally hint that maybe it’s time to clean up a bit, but she never judges me. I think that by this point, she has come to understand that my outer space greatly reflects my inner space; chaos in one increases entropy in the other. Even though she usually prefers to stay neu-
Courtesy of Abby Knuckles
The writer in their natural state, calmly embracing the anarchism of their disorganised room, finding order in the chaotic sundry, meaning in the madness and peace in acceptance.
tral on the topic, Samantha Steeves ’21, my roommate, reluctantly agreed to give me her honest opinion on my cleanliness habits. She diagnosed, “I just feel like you think about 100 things at once and your space reflects that because all of your stuff is out and half-finished. You take off your clothes but don’t put them away because you’re on to the next thing.” As flattering and gentle as this sounds, it does point to a problem that I encounter in the world outside my room: I take on too many projects at once and end up struggling to get them all done to my satisfaction. Steeves elaborated, “Someone’s living space reflects what they value and how their brain works. My brain can’t work if my stuff isn’t organized, which reflects the fact that I like all my thoughts to be organized. But in your case, I feel like having everything everywhere helps you think, because mentally you like to focus on different things at once. Like when you listen to music while typing essays. I could never do that because I can only really focus on one thing at a time, which is why I like all my stuff in one place.” This fundamental difference in our personalities makes it easy for us to take a step back and notice when the other might need some extra support, so in that way my disorganization has positive side effects. While her outside perspective gave me a new outlook on my problem, I wanted to find someone else who understood my cleanliness conundrum firsthand. I became curious as to whether the relation between inner space and living space held for other people. Shockingly, few will admit to their own battles to keep their space clean, but I did convince Danyal Rahman ’20 to tell me his experience. He had some different insights to offer than myself or Steeves. He remarked, “I definitely notice that when my room is very messy, I’m in a bad spot, whether that’s catching up on work or
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
emotionally or socially. But I’m not really sure whether one is a catalyst for the other. Maybe I’m in a bad mood and I’m not doing well workwise because my room is messy, or maybe it’s vice versa.” The uncertain causal relationship between stress and messiness does raise some interesting quandaries. The two seem to operate in a feedback loop: The more stress, the more mess, which causes more stress. Rahman highlighted the positive aspect of this seemingly unavoidable phenomenon, saying, “I have noticed that cleaning up my room often does translate to me doing better, school-wise. At the same time, doing well in school makes me think ‘Oh wow, I’m doing well and I’ve got extra time, I’ll clean up my room.’ It definitely snowballs in both directions.” In the rare moments when I do manage to keep my space clean for any amount of time, I have experienced a small boost of productivity. I don’t enjoy wallowing in my own chaotic mess, but I do sometimes feel that I can’t avoid it. Often, I feel that I don’t have time to straighten things up when I could do something more important instead; I perform a rapid optimization calculation and figure that the productivity gained from having a clean room is offset by the time required to make that happen. Rahman voiced a similar sentiment with a quip: “When I’m stressed socially I don’t pick up after myself. I’ll change my shirt and just leave it on the floor and say ‘That’s a Weekend Dan problem.’” Everyone can relate to this sentiment to some degree, whether or not they struggle with disorder in their space. The connection between one’s mental state and their living space may not always be as clear as it is in my case, but I do think noting the impact of environmental factors on the mind and inversely, the mind’s impact on environmental factors, leads to a better understanding of both.
March 29, 2018
FEATURES
Page 11
Trek out West makes Rocky Mountain dream come true Aidan Zola Columnist
Aidan Zola/The Miscellany News
Well, we’re back. After two weeks of eating, sleeping and watching way too many YouTube videos, it’s time to make the final push to May. And if you’re anything like me, the next six weeks will be chock-full of LinkedIn searches for last-minute summer internships and valiant attempts to balance a workload that would be better distributed among a team of NASA scientists. One thing is for sure, though—when I inevitably find myself huddled in the darkest corner of the Deece, downing coffee and furiously typing my sixth research paper, I’ll be daydreaming of my spring break. To explain, about a year ago my friends and I got the idea to travel to Colorado. Poughkeepsie is great and all, but the romance of the jagged peaks of the Rockies and the wide-open plains called to us. We didn’t know if it would be a summer-long road trip or a weekend excursion, but nevertheless, we set our minds to it. Every so often, one of us would check if plane tickets had gotten any cheaper, or make a detailed itinerary hoping that we would need it someday. After months and months of dreaming, our plans finally materialized. About three weeks before we would find ourselves huddled in a tent on the side of a mountain in one of Colorado’s many national parks, we booked our plane tickets. It was all a bit last minute, but we somehow managed to reserve campgrounds, find a company that would rent a car to a bunch of 19-year-olds and map out dozens of hikes. Our first day in Colorado was, well, interesting. I have to say that until I found myself curled up on a bench fighting some rather acute vertigo in the middle of the Denver Art Museum,
I hadn’t really appreciated the true meaning of Denver’s nickname: “The Mile-High City.” I can now confirm that, yes, altitude sickness really does exist. Anyway, after drinking about a gallon of water and sleeping around the clock, I was back up and at it. We left the Airbnb the next morning and headed into town for our second day in the city. Like true Vassar students, we managed to find the artsiest, most hipster area of Denver, as we browsed streets and streets of galleries and vintage stores. We all knew, though, that the best was yet to come. After adjusting to the altitude in the city, it was time to set out for the wilderness. With John Denver songs blasting in our tiny Kia rental, we drove four hours south to the Great Sand Dunes National Park. Now, picture this: a photograph of the sun setting over the Sahara Desert on the cover of National Geographic, except now add huge, green mountains behind it. That’s what this place looks like. We climbed to the top of the tallest dune, all the while being painfully exfoliated by nature’s very own wind sandblaster (I still find sand in some of my clothes). After all was said and done, it was incredibly rewarding to watch the sun setting over miles and miles of this dreamlike landscape. After sledding down the side of the dunes back to our car, it was time to camp our first night in Colorado. Well, at least my friends did—I slept in the car. I think we all agree now that we much prefer being woken up at 3 a.m. by the inevitable roar of Raymond’s radiators to having our toes nearly fall off from the brisk alpine air. Unsurprisingly, our next day consisted of taking turns napping in the car on our way up north
The writer with her Vassar friends summited the peak of one of the Colorado mountains, feeling exhausted from the climb but at the same time excited for getting ice cream later. to Colorado Springs. When we got to the town, though, we pulled on our boots and sniffed out the most challenging hike around—“the Incline” at Pike’s Peak. For about an hour, we heaved ourselves up one mile of straight stairs on the side of a mountain in the middle of nowhere. The ice cream we had later was well earned. We dedicated our final two days to one of Colorado’s best-known sites, the Rocky Mountains. While at the beginning of our trip we were climbing sand dunes and mountains in shorts, we ended by slipping on ice and throwing snowballs. With a five-dollar plastic sled and four pairs of snowshoes jammed into our rental car, we wound our way up through the national park.
We lost cell phone signal almost immediately, but we somehow managed to stomp our way to one of the most pristine views in the U.S., Emerald Lake. Though being blinded by the white landscape and making snow angels aren’t exactly considered typical spring break activities, our time in the Rockies is something I’ll remember for the rest of my life. The plane ride home was subdued; the air outside JFK was heavier than what we had gotten used to, and the sky was grey. Suddenly, John Denver’s “I Guess He’d Rather Be in Colorado” seemed fitting. But as we drove through Manhattan, we still smiled. We had gone to Colorado. We’d had our Rocky Mountain high.
Fellow caffeine addict suggests places to get your next fix Talya Phelps Senior Editor
I’m not ashamed to say that I couldn’t get by without coffee. That beautiful, delicious elixir offers me a compelling reason to get out of my cozy bed in the morning, has helped me avoid potential catastrophes (like falling asleep on my keyboard in the middle of a research paper) and is probably the only reason that I’m not a complete horror to deal with. Some might say that two cups every time I go to the Deece is excessive, but we all have our vices—and besides, I only drink half-caf after 10 p.m. Moreover, coffee for me is a symbol of home and all the comforts that come with it, which I’ve been lucky enough to indulge in this past spring break. When I’m at my parents’ house, I start every morning with a fresh cup of French press coffee, ground, brewed and served by my fellow coffee snob father. Vassar coffee just doesn’t measure up to this luxurious method of caffeine delivery, but I’ve come to appreciate it nonetheless. Here, I offer my expert opinion on the various coffees available on and around campus, so that you may make an informed choice on the cup of joe that’s best for you. 1. Express coffee. Getting coffee from Express is like shopping at the Gap, reading the local newspaper of your rural hometown or getting drunk in the same person’s dorm room every weekend: It’s reliable and effective, but not particularly thrilling. Express coffee comes in a wide range of two flavors (regular and decaf), and it’s usually just about the right temperature so that it’s drinkable by the time you make it from Main to your classroom. Despite its dullness and the fact that it replaced my first true love, UpC, I am endlessly thankful for the convenience of Express and would recommend its coffee without reservation. 2. Retreat coffee. It’s rare that I get coffee at the Retreat, since that flavor doesn’t pair partic-
ularly well with soy sauce and raw fish. However, I’m fairly sure that it’s the same as Express coffee but with more options; there’s vanilla, which is kind of wack but works in a pinch, and there’s iced coffee, which I sometimes can’t resist even though the ice machine is usually broken and it tastes like slightly chilled dishwater. 3. Deece coffee. It’s always a surprise with coffee from the Deece. Depending on how recently the coffee was brewed, you might get a boiling hot cuppa with a healthy serving of stray coffee grounds, or you might be faced with an experience as lukewarm as last night’s Tinder date. What’s more, the Deece is replete with confusing and frightening coffee flavors like “Lover’s Leap” and “Cookie Doodle,” which honestly aren’t that gross and are usually available even if all the regular urns are empty. In the end, we all know that quantity matters more than quality, and slurping three cups in an hour while banging out a Moodle post is a quintessential Vassar experience. 4. Bridge coffee. As a humanities major, I’m only in the Bridge when I’m passing through on my way to Skinner, so I can’t speak on this one. I imagine that Bridge coffee is similar to the building itself: sleek, modern, classy and aesthetically pleasing, with just a hint of danger (remember those rumors about the Bridge sinking into the ground?). 5. Matthew’s Bean coffee. Given that the Bean is staffed by students and everyone has a slightly different way of making a latte or a cappuccino, it’s probably the least reliable option, but also the best experience, because it’s cozy and you get to see your friends who work there. Unfortunately, I can’t offer a personal take; my love affair with the library waned after freshman year, and I now do most of my work from the Deece or from my bed, wrapped up in my blankets while whining on the phone to my mom.
6. Crafted Kup coffee. It’s basically the nectar of the gods. Stay away unless you want your Arlington Bucks to go down the drain faster than your motivation during finals week.
Fellow lovers of the magic bean, go forth and caffeinate—and if you see me around campus clutching my travel mug, feel free to say hello and ask what I’m sipping.
Pictured here is the author in her natural habitat (sipping coffee in bed), the author horrified upon unexpectedly finding Express closed, and a collection of borrowed Deece mugs from before the author invested in a travel Thermos. All photos courtesy of Talya Phelps/The Miscellany News.
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OPINIONS
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The Miscellany News Staff Editorial
U.S. media sensationalism obscures international crises There’s nothing the American Left loves more than an unflattering picture of Trump. Thus it comes as no surprise that while a porn star’s story and image inundate the press, other actions of the administration are allowed to practically slip by without comment. While the disturbing nature of Trump’s actions in the Stormy Daniels scandal has far-reaching implications and continues to normalize the mistreatment and silencing of women, the disproportionate amount of attention the media has given to showcasing Trump’s buffoonery dangerously presents him in a less threatening light and impedes our ability to consider a multiplicity of serious issues. For instance, a particularly shocking news story that has quickly fallen off the media’s radar is Trump’s arms deal with Saudi Arabia to fund the genocide of the people of Yemen. The civil war in Yemen employs tactics that have endangered and killed countless civilians and which amount to crimes against humanity. Air strikes intentionally designed to kill civilians devastate the country on a regular basis. Many people in Yemen are suffering from extreme hunger because of inflated food prices and food insecurity. Ports that facilitate food entering Yemen have been blockaded by rebel forces, intentionally preventing civilians from accessing food and effectively starving them (The New York Times, “Yemen’s War Is a Tragedy. Is It Also a Crime?” 11.22.2017). In addition, the war has directly caused the largest single-year outbreak of cholera in history, affecting at least 900,000 people (Vox, “America Is Fueling the War in Yemen. Congress is Finally Pushing Back,” 11.14.2017). The epidemic has not been contained because the same mechanisms that prevent food access have also prevented
medical and water sanitation supplies from entering the country. What is especially egregious about this civil war, given our country’s potential but misused capacity to provide humanitarian aid, is the U.S. military’s complicity. By trading information, providing weapons and refueling warplanes for Saudi Arabia and its allies to use, the United States has been actively contributing to the deaths of Yemeni citizens. Despite warnings by Congress that the U.S. is unauthorized to participate in this war, the government continues to fuel the flames in Yemen (Politico, “House Declares U.S. Military Role in Yemen’s Civil War Unauthorized,” 11.13.2017). On March 22, the Trump administration sold $670 million worth of arms to Saudi Arabia, and Trump revealed a pending $20 billion arms sale that will contribute to this war, which has already claimed countless lives (The National, “US Approves $670 Million Arms Deal to Saudi Arabia Including 6,600 Missiles,” 03.23.2018). America’s involvement in this humanitarian disaster is, unfortunately, merely part of a larger historical trend. In the past, the U.S. failed to take sufficient appropriate action during not only the Syrian refugee crisis but also the Rohingya refugee crisis. The actions of Myanmar’s government against the Rohingya Muslims, which have included attacking and burning villages of Rohingya people, were officially declared to be “ethnic cleansing” by the U.S. State Department (CNN, “Tillerson: Myanmar Clearly ‘Ethnic Cleansing’ the Rohingya,” 11.22.2017). Although the U.S. has provided up to $60 million to support humanitarian efforts for those affected by the violence against Rohingya people, the Trump
administration has not specifically incriminated the Myanmar government for creating this humanitarian crisis or its State Counsellor Aung San Suu Kyi, a Nobel Laureate, for failing to mitigate it. Instead, the U.S. has intentionally stayed away from condemning Myanmar officials who continuously deny any violence against Rohingya Muslims, and has not taken any actions to stop the violence. The inaction in Myanmar is, again, part of the U.S. government’s dangerous tendency to be reluctant to take a strong anti-genocide stance and provide humanitarian aid befitting our country’s role as a powerful economic and political global force, as well as being all too eager to sell weapons to governments who abuse and kill their citizens. Even former President Obama, who was widely seen by the public as a peacekeeping leader, did not stop the more than $100 billion worth of arms sales made to Saudi Arabia under his administration (The Atlantic, “Yemen: The Graveyard of the Obama Doctrine,” 09.23.2016). Yet, despite America’s continuous involvement in these humanitarian disasters, the media has singularly fixated on stories like the Stormy Daniels scandal. This public gossip has garnered so much traction that Anderson Cooper devoted an entire segment of “60 Minutes” to discuss with Daniels her affair with Donald Trump. Even though Trump has engaged in controversial arms sales that have the power to to increase damage in Yemen, the media has largely disregarded this news and instead focused on leveling attacks on Trump’s personal life. As a result, this war that has been decimating the country and its people since 2015 is largely unknown to many Americans, and the general public remains un-
aware of the actions taken by the U.S. Given the terrible injustices in Yemen and Trump’s active role in contributing to them, why does the media continue to focus heavily on news stories that paint Trump as a senile fool rather than the dangerous and irresponsible warmonger that he is? By focusing on the miscellaneous scandals of his private life rather than the billion-dollar war profiteering he is engaging in as president of the United States, we trivialize Trump and the very real power he wields as current leader of this country. As the media continues to push stories that match his public image which predates his presidency, Trump will continue to get away with making decisions that will result in the loss of countless lives. However, the fault does not lie only with the media. We are all complicit in perpetuating the media’s tendency to only focus on one issue at a time, particularly those that are domestic and more easily digestible that the nation’s complicity in genocide. Perhaps this should not come as a surprise, since we have a tendency to view domestic tragedies as preventable atrocities, should we take action, yet perceive global tragedies as an inevitable misfortune. Ultimately, it is our responsibility to give a multiplicity of news stories the attention that they deserve. In the end, we as media consumers decide what is important or not. We need to choose to reckon with the sometimes harsh and uncomfortable realities of our government’s actions in order to be well-informed and free-thinking citizens. —The Staff Editorial expresses the opinion of at least 2/3 of The Miscellany News Editorial Board.
U.S. embargo on Cuba should end as Raúl Castro retires Sylvan Perlmutter Columnist
O
n April 19, Raúl Castro, the brother of the late Fidel Castro, will retire from the presidency of Cuba. It will be the first time in 60 years that Cuba is not led by a Castro. This shift is a potentially great boon for the Cuban people and an opportunity to renew reconciliation efforts between the United States and Cuba, but a series of obstacles can be expected to stand in the way. One such obstacle is the expectation that Cuba will dramatically liberalize without the leadership of the Castros. It is important that policy makers and engaged citizens familiarize themselves with the structural factors at play in Cuba and make sure that the diplomatic and economic efforts they spearhead are reasonable within the given framework. First, it must be stressed that Raúl is not going into complete retirement. He will remain in his position as First Secretary of the Communist Party of Cuba and so will continue as the de facto head of state (Financial Times, “Cuba Braced for Life After the Castros,” 03.04.2018). Nevertheless, he is 86 years old and can be expected to retire alongside the remaining old guard when his term as secretary expires in 2021, although he might pass away before its completion (Miami Herald, “Raúl Castro is Expected to Step Down Soon. And Recent Moves Suggest He Won’t Be Alone,” 03.02.2018). This does not diminish the significance of Raúl’s retirement from the presidency. He will stop being the face of the Cuban state, and that symbolic shift is critical in a country where political rule has been highly personalistic. During his lifetime, Fidel Castro assumed a godlike stature in the eyes of pro-government Cubans. Much of Raúl’s legitimacy is deeply rooted in being Fidel’s brother in addition to his contributions to the revolution.
The anti-Cuban government statements of the United States have historically taken up this same personalistic logic by directing the majority of their invective against the Castro brothers as embodiments of brutality and corruption instead of pursuing a more dull systemic critique of Communist Party rule. Deprived of the Castros, anti-Cuban government rhetoric will have to target a faceless Communist Party. It will be more difficult to drum up the resentment necessary for the continued justification of the embargo. The Communist Party of Cuba will probably remain in power for the foreseeable future. Cuba held parliamentary elections on March 11 with a turnout of 85.7 percent (Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance, “Cuba”). Most Cubans were under heavy pressure from municipal government bodies to go vote, and virtually all of the candidates were members of the Communist Party (the only legal party), but the elections are a clear reminder of the Cuban government’s continuing capacity to mobilize its population on a mass scale. The turnout was lower than in past elections, but not enough to signal a fundamental crisis of legitimacy. The coercive and persuasive capabilities of the Cuban regime remain robust. However, just because the party will stay in power does not mean it will govern in the same fashion. The powers of the government bureaucracy, party apparatus and military were united by the Castro brothers for over half a century. Fidel was head of the government and the party, and Raúl was head of the armed forces until he succeeded Fidel as President of Cuba in 2008 after the former grew ill. This centralization allowed for the brothers to mediate between different interest groups in the party-state and prevent the formation of rival power centers. After Raúl gradually exits from the stage, there will be no figure with such centralized authori-
ty. His projected successor Miguel Diaz-Canel, a former education minister and now Vice President of the Council of Ministers, is a prominent bureaucrat but has no experience in military leadership like the Castros did. The military and its client constituencies will probably jostle for more autonomy under new leadership. This possibility is significant because the Cuban military does not simply have a monopoly on force but is also a major economic player. The Armed Forces Business Enterprises Group (GAESA), the military’s conglomerate, owns the vast majority of firms that operate engaged in trade, from hotels to foreign exchange houses to ports, which gives it control of up to 60 percent of incoming hard currency (The New York Times, “Goodbye Castros, Hello Communist Party,” 02.26.2018). Any attempt to significantly reform the moribund Cuban economy will pit elements of the civil and military administrations against one another. Heightened divisions between factions in the government could be either good or bad for Cuba. At its worst, it could devolve into a civil war, but it could also lead to increased democracy and consensus building within the Communist Party. Different factions would try to deliver improvements in living standards to their constituencies (e.g., farmers, factory workers, veterans) to cultivate political capital for their elite struggles. In this scenario, Cuba would remain a dictatorship with a poor human rights record, but it would be more representative and responsive to the Cuban public than previously. A process similar to the one described took place in China following the death of Mao Zedong. The United States government needs to understand that the Cuban party-state has room to maneuver when it comes to sanctions. If the embargo continues, the rising party leadership will be able to establish their legitimacy with the claim that they are fighting against a renewed
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
American imperialist onslaught. Even though Cuba can expect less economic aid from Venezuela as the country continues to grapple with its crisis, it can still turn to the ingenuitive strategies for economic survival and regime continuity it developed in the Special Period, an extended period of economic crisis in the 1990s. If the embargo terminates, the party can claim to have ended a decades-old conflict and ushered in a new era of prosperity for Cubans. Given the win-win position of the Cuban regime, the United States should choose the most mutually beneficial option–the cessation of the embargo. The economic deprivations of everyday Cubans will ease, and American firms will find a potentially lucrative outlet for business. Additionally, ending the embargo would be a great way to restore the United States’ credibility overseas, which has been damaged by the confrontational and erratic policies of the Trump administration. Last year, the UN passed a resolution condemning the embargo 191 to two, with only Israel and the USA voting against (Bloomberg, “U.S. Votes Against UN Resolution Condemning Cuba Embargo,” 11.01.2017). Following the lead of the overwhelming majority of the international community would be a bold demonstration of a renewed commitment to multilateralism. Since the Republican Party cannot be expected to take such a course given its desire not to alienate conservative Cuban-Americans in the swing state of Florida, the Democratic Party should plan to renew negotiations with Cuba as soon as it retakes the presidency (Sunshine State News, “Carlos Curbelo Continues to Take Aim at Castro Regime as It Looks for Successor,” 03.14.2018). The opportunities presented by Cuba’s generational transfer of power will not last forever. It’s time to put this anachronistic conflict to rest.
OPINIONS
Page 14
March 29, 2018
Spirit of self-care glossed over in era of egocentricity Talya Phelps Senior Editor
J
ust like everyone else, I recognize the need to take an occasional moment focused only on my own well-being. That might mean cancelling plans so I can stay in bed and watch “The West Wing,” ducking out of an overwhelming family gathering for a deep breath or just making the time for a hearty breakfast before what promises to be a draining day. Yet it wasn’t until I came to Vassar that I had a name to ascribe to these acts, which I now understand to be manifestations of self-care. While the self-care movement in America has exploded in popularity since my first year at college, it wasn’t until recently that I learned of the complex legacy underlying the concept and how society has increasingly perverted (or, to put it more mildly, reinterpreted) its original meaning. Almost every article I’ve read on the topic of self-care quotes the Black lesbian feminist Audre Lorde: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare” (Audre Lorde, “A Burst of Light: Essays,” 1988). With these words, Lorde invokes the audacity to rise up and fight that defined the concept of self-care in the 1960s and ’70s. In a culture bent on erasing the humanity and self-worth of people of color—and especially women of color—civil rights and women’s liberation leaders saw tending to one’s health and wellness as an antidote to the ways in which the white, patriarchal medical system had failed them. Moreover, activists argued, in order to dismantle hierarchies based on race, gender, class and sexual orientation, it was imperative that these groups hold the power to promote their own health (Slate, “A History of Self-Care, 04.05.2017). In the 1980s, self-care slipped into the realm of the apolitical: It was subsumed by the trend of holistic wellness and the increasing commercialization and mainstreaming of lifestyles based on fitness and “positive health” rather than merely
the absence of illness (Slate). To understand the significance of this cultural shift, it is important to realize that before the ’80s, now-ubiquitous concepts like the mind-body connection and preventative health were considered radical to the point of being cultish (Well+Good, “When Wellness Was Weird,” 07.14.2017). While such ideas gained traction in the ensuing decades, the idea of self-care as a response to politics resurged in the aftermath of the 2016 election—this time less as a tool of revolt and more as a mechanism for self-protection. The week after Trump’s victory over Clinton, the number of Americans Googling “self-care” reached a 10-year high (Google Trends), marking its induction into the leftist lexicon; as Slate culture writer Aisha Harris puts it, self-care was “the new chicken soup for the progressive soul” (Slate). At its best, the self-care movement encourages paying heed to the vulnerability of others with needs and desires different from your own, writes Jordan Kisner (The New Yorker, “The Politics of Conspicuous Displays of Self-Care,” 03.14.2017). Certainly, in our political era, with the Trump administration targeting a myriad of marginalized populations, this awareness is crucial. Yet self-care has taken on a disturbing tone of self-aggrandizement, and the term is almost entirely drained of its historical and political power. Paradoxically, it was straight, white, affluent women who led the 2016 self-care charge (Slate), and Instagram is flooded with #selfcare posts that glorify individual indulgence rather than looking outward toward challenging systems of oppression or giving back to other people. “I can’t fill your cup if mine is empty,” or “Put your own oxygen mask on first,” go the mantras of the self-care movement, expressing the need to nurture one’s own mental and physical health in order to have the capacity to care for others. Cynical as it may sound, though, we humans are selfish creatures, and self-care can be a slippery slope into hedonism. Self-care can easily become another status sym-
bol: a spinach smoothie topped with artisanal granola or a Himalayan salt bath and a 24-karat gold face mask, to be flaunted beside our sparkling Swatches and iPhones? Resisting the commodification of self-care is a tall order, especially now that self-improvement is a multi-billion-dollar industry (BrainBlogger, “The Self-Help Industry Helps Itself to Billions of Dollars,” 05.23.2014). According to a study on New Year’s resolutions, millennials drop twice as much money as baby boomers do on resolutions involving self-care, such as exercising more, eating healthier and losing weight (Field Agent, “Millennials, Boomers, & 2015 Resolutions: 5 Key Generational Differences,” 01.13.2015). Moreover, many of the more than 1.4 million #selfcare Instagram posts are sponsored by beauty companies, fast-food chains and the like (The New Yorker). Yet self-care often entails mundane or even unpleasant tasks—cutting off a toxic friend or taking a second job so you can open a savings account, for example—that will positively affect your well-being in the long term, even if it does not fulfill your present cravings, posits writer Brianna Wiest (Thought Catalog, “This Is What ‘Self-Care’ REALLY Means, Because It’s Not All Salt Baths And Chocolate Cake,” 11.16.2017). Put this way, self-care is a marker of maturity, of the ability to postpone immediate pleasure in favor of making an investment in your future self. Not that the two are mutually exclusive. Sometimes a lunch spent with friends rather than working and topped off with a midday ice cream cone is precisely the ticket to continuing the day with renewed energy, rather than crashing by dinnertime and not being able to finish your work, let alone help anyone else with theirs. Even a thoughtfully chosen act of self-care, however, is often inherently an act of privilege as well (The Guardian, “Generation treat yo’ self: the problem with ‘self-care,’” 01.12.2017). There is no denying that life in today’s tumultuous politi-
cal and social climate can make one want to curl up and block out the world—especially given that news of the latest tragic act of violence or deplorable legislative decision is constantly at our fingertips (The Miscellany News, “Media consumption fraught in era of instant information,” 02.21.18). Still, especially for those of us fortunate enough to not have our identities constantly under explicit and/ or implicit attack, ignoring reality is not a viable solution—and, more important, it is a selfish one. As writer and human rights activist Jamie Kalven puts it, “[It] is certainly tempting at a time like this: to live one’s life in the wholly private realm, enjoying the company of friends, good food and drink, the pleasures of literature and music, and so on.” Yet he cautions, “If we withdraw from public engagement now, we aid and abet that which we deplore” (Chicago Reader, “Jamie Kalven, the man with a lantern,” 12.07.2016). Placing such a range of demands on the selfcare practitioner might seem to defeat the very purpose of the act; one could argue that deciding which type of self-care to engage in and how to do so appropriately risks becoming a process so strenuous that it necessitates even more self-care. Yet we can practice more responsible self-care simply by bringing an increased mindfulness toward how it affects our future self and how it can nurture our fellow humans. Reframing everyday activities can help us pursue this goal: For example, volunteering at a non-profit might not fit the flashy, self-indulgent version of self-care presented on social media, but it can nevertheless feed one’s own need for meaningful engagement while also supporting others. According to French philosopher Michel Foucault, the ancient Greeks saw self-care as crucial to democracy because it helped form better and more honest citizens (The Guardian). By remembering this, we might just rescue this generation’s expression of self-care from going down in history as another humiliating hallmark of the selfie generation.
Plastic-eating animals cannot solve global pollution Steven Park
Opinions Editor
A
s a species, we manufacture an insane amount of plastic. According to a July 2017 study, scientists have determined the total amount of plastic ever made up to 2015: 8.3 billion metric tons (Science, “Production, Use, and Fate of All Plastics Ever Made,” 07.19.2017). To put that into perspective, the Empire State Building in New York City is 331,000 metric tons. So that means we produced 25,000 Empire State Buildings worth of plastic in just 65 years. Not only that, the rate of plastic use is rapidly increasing. Half of this total amount was created in just the past 13 years. Scientists estimate that we produced about 407 million metric tons of plastic in 2015, which is a 150 percent increase from 2010 (Science). However, we shouldn’t be too surprised by this outcome. Plastic is very important to our society and can be found in practically everything, from computer hardware to grocery bags. What’s more disturbing is the fact that we’re barely making a dent in getting rid of it. According to the report, as of 2015, only nine percent of the 6.3 billion metric tons of plastic waste produced has been recycled and only 12 percent of it has been incinerated (Science). The remaining 79 percent has ended up in landfills or in the natural environment. Given this situation, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that the planet is on the brink of a major plastic pollution crisis. At the current rate that the trash is accumulating, the scientists behind the 2017 study predict that about 12 billion metric tons of plastic waste will end up in landfills or in the natural environment by the end of 2050. “Most plastics don’t biodegrade in any meaningful sense, so the plastic waste humans have
generated could be with us for hundred or even thousands of years,” stated study co-author and associate professor of engineering at the University of Georgia Jenna Jambeck (Phys.org, “8.3 Billion Metric Tons: Scientists Calculate Total Amount of Plastics Ever Produced,” 07.19.2017). Naturally, experts in various scientific fields are in a rush to find an answer to this plastic problem. Now, there has been news spreading of a possible miraculous solution: What if we breed animals that eat the plastic waste? Animals eating plastic is generally a bad sign. Animals that mistake plastic trash for food like seabirds, sea turtles and marine mammals either fatally damage their intestines, suffocate or die of starvation from a false sense of fullness (NOAA, “What is Marine Debris,” 03.14.2016). However, scientists have found that waxworms, a species of caterpillars that develop into the common wax moth Galleria mellonella, can eat and digest plastic. This discovery occurred when Federica Bertocchini, a researcher at the Institute of Biomedicine and Biotechnology of Cantabria in Spain, found an infestation of waxworms while taking care of her beehives (The Atlantic, “The Very Hungry Plastic-Eating Caterpillar,” 04.24.2017). Since these pests eat the wax in the honeycombs, Bertocchini placed the waxworms in a plastic bag while she cleaned out the beehives. Yet when she returned to the bag, she saw that the waxworms simply ate their way out, making little holes in the bag. Given how the molecular bonds in plastic are often too strong to degrade naturally, it wasn’t long before she contacted biochemists Paolo Bombelli and Christopher Howe at the University of Cambridge about this new information.
“Once we saw the holes, the reaction was immediate: that is it, we need to investigate this,” said Bertocchini (The Washington Post, “These Pesky Caterpillars Seem to Digest Plastic Bags,” 04.24.2017). Together, the three scientists conducted several tests to investigate waxworms further. In their experiment, they timed how fast these caterpillars ate the polyethylene plastic and found that each worm created an average of 2.2 holes per hour. When a hundred of them were placed on a plastic shopping bag overnight, they degraded 92 milligrams of the plastic (National Geographic, “This Bug Can Eat Plastic. But Can It Clean Up Our Mess?” 04.24.2017). However, were the caterpillars really digesting plastic or were they just chewing holes? To find out, the researchers mushed the waxworms in a gooey paste and applied it to the polyethylene bag. After half a day, about 13 percent of the plastic had disappeared (The Atlantic). Apparently, something inside the caterpillars allowed it to digest the polyethylene in plastic and turn it into ethylene glycol as a natural byproduct. As a result of this study, exciting speculations have been made about the possibilities with these waxworms. Perhaps one day, we could harness their power and develop an easier process to getting rid of all the plastic pollution that has accumulated so far. But is this really a viable solution? Probably not. While using waxworms to eat our plastic waste may seem convenient, there is simply too much plastic pollution for even an entire army of waxworms to manage effectively. Remember that it took 100 worms to eat 92 milligrams of plastic in 12 hours—that’s the equivalent of four grains of rice
in terms of mass. We have more than five billion metric tons of plastic waste polluting the planet (Science). Not only that, it’s possible that the waxworms would not even completely get rid of the plastic. According to professor of chemical engineering at Michigan State University Ramani Narayan, the waxworms may end up releasing small fragments or microplastics into the environment, which would cause more harm than good (The Atlantic). “Biodegradation isn’t a magical solution to plastics waste management,” warned Narayan. There is just no conceivable way that we can rely on waxworms to solve for plastic pollution problems. Indeed, using waxworms or even similar plastic-eating organisms, such as Styrofoam-eating mealworms and plastic-metabolizing bacteria, can only accomplish so much in the face of overwhelming trash (The Washington Post). Although Bertocchini argues that pinpointing the molecule or enzymes involved in the plastic-degradation process and then producing it at high scale may be beneficial, the responsibility of cleaning up plastic pollution ultimately comes down to us. We humans have to make an active effort to change our lifestyles so that we minimize the use of plastic and encourage more recycling. An easy shortcut may sound convenient, but only the combined activity of people en masse can make a significant impact in cleaning the environment. Several great ways to help include reusing your water bottle, boycotting products with microbeads like facial scrubs and weaning yourself off disposable plastics such as grocery bags, plastic cutlery and plastic straws. Only once we take the time and energy to make steps towards cleaner living can we expect the planet to slowly recover.
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
March 29, 2018
OPINIONS
Wildlife, history of national parks need care Catherine Bither Guest Columnist
I
am happiest when surrounded by nature. The beauty of the beaches, forests, deserts and mountains of my home state is hard to beat. Some of my best memories have come from time spent exploring groves of trees and wading in nearby streams. I remember being engulfed by waves and meandering over coastal cliffs with my family as a child, in addition to driving through arid deserts and snow-filled mountains in the same day. As an adult, I take every chance I can to explore nature. I long for days when I am able to stroll about and take in its perfection, contemplating how small I am in this tiny world, how young I am compared to the trees and rocks surrounding me.
“[National parks] were initially created to stratify and relocate the people who originally settled here thousands of years ago.” One of the easiest and most accessible ways to experience nature is by visiting state and national parks. In order to protect the nature that encompasses our country, the National Park Service (NPS) works to acquire and preserve land that is under threat of exploitation. These lands are then transformed into sanctuaries and opened to the public. Yet in the midst of our ever-changing political and environmental climate, it has become increasingly harder for national parks to survive. The NPS is doing all it can to protect the natural ecosystems of our country’s national parks, but due to poor funding and the effects of global warming, our national parks have undergone great devastation and are bound to soon undergo much more. It is important to know that the NPS was not created innocently with the sole mission of protecting and preserving America’s nature. We must remember the history of the land on which we stand, walk and live. The NPS was created alongside the Bureau of Indian Affairs, and most of the land owned by national parks was stolen from Native Americans. Though these parks are presently used to preserve the flora and wildlife of our nation, they were initially created to stratify and relocate the people who originally settled here thousands of years ago (Timeline, “National parks are beautiful— but the way they were created isn’t,” 08.26.2016). Since the 1990s, the NPS has been working with Native Peoples, most notably in Alaska and Hawaii, to facilitate community healing from this trauma. The service allocates grants to and sponsors technical assistance programs for Native American groups in order to preserve cultural and traditional locations across the U.S (National Park Service, “Connecting with American Indians, Alaska Natives, and Native Hawaiians,” 06.02.2016). However, the service seldom mentions the explicit history of how national parks were created and has a long way to go in order to truly improve relationships with native groups. The history of our national parks is rooted in greed and racism. As Americans today, it is our job to facilitate restorative relations with those whom our history has disserviced by preserving Native American narratives and helping them to tell their stories. It is also our job to care for the land on which we now live. Over the past number of years, visitation to national parks has been on the rise. In fact, in 2016, national parks received record visitation numbers. This increased call to nature may symbolize a significant change in mindset of
Americans. Perhaps it signals a heightened desire to step away from the constant busyness of our concrete, consumerist society and respond to the call to protect the nature in our country. Despite this, our country’s national parks are currently under attack. If Americans continue to live wasteful lives without caring for our local environments, we will further endanger the dear national parks many of us long to aid. Additionally, current administrators and legislators are committing drastic disservices to national parks. These actions, especially the reallocation of funds from the NPS and other wildlife protection agencies, have culminated over a number of years and could make it impossible to preserve the nature of national parks in the future. In addition, climate change has ravaged ecosystems across the globe, and our country’s national parks have not been immune to this devastation. Sea levels are rising in Everglades National Park, oceans are acidifying at Point Reyes National Park, glaciers are melting in Kenai Fjords National Park and species have been lost due to fires in one of my favorite places on Earth: Sequoia National Park in central California (National Park Service, “The Science of Climate Change in National Parks Video Series”). Local animals are forced to leave these sanctuaries in order to find new homes, so it is no surprise that humans may soon stay away as well. Due to climate change, the natural resources of national parks have drastically deteriorated, which consequently affects visitation. A study conducted in 2017 found that monthly air temperature and national park visitation are strongly correlated (National Park Service, “Warming Temperatures Likely to Alter Visitation across the National Park System”). Visitation to national parks increased with increased temperature, but leveled off at around 80ºF. These increased temperatures are projected to cause an increase in visitation to national parks in cooler areas, but predict little increase in visitation to parks in warmer areas. This may not seem very extreme, yet it displays how humans and animals must modify their behavior due to climate change. Although visitation is expected to increase due to warming temperatures, the condition of the wildlife in national parks is expected to deteriorate. As a result, humans traveling to their favorite national parks may find that the land has severely changed or that it no longer exists. We have no idea how climate change will continue to modify national park visitation in the near future. Eventually, if climate change persists at its current rate, animals and humans may be forced to forgo national parks all together. The NPS has been around for over 100 years. Yet when faced with the consequences of global warming, the bureau is ignored by current administrators. The President’s FY2019 budget proposal cuts funding to national parks by seven percent and specifically cuts funds for cultural programs, new land acquisition and a philanthropic grants program. These budget cuts severely affect the work that park rangers attempt to co-facilitate with Native American groups. Additionally, cuts in staff, despite increased visitation levels, may contribute to the intermittent closing of national parks. Instead of investing, the administration is ignoring the delicacy of our nation’s ecosystems,and dismantling environmental protections that safeguard nature. The proposed budget leaves the NPS with no funds for discretionary State Assistance Grants and a negative balance for new land acquisition. According to the Senior Director of Budget and Appropriations at the National Parks Conservation Association John Garder, “The president’s budget proposal once again demonstrates that the administration is actively working to undermine our national parks and the environment on which they depend. National parks
draw millions of visitors every year, and need more resources, not less. Choking off funding for staff who protect our national parks puts our country’s natural, cultural and historical heritage at risk” (National Parks Conservation Association, “Trump Proposals Fail National Parks, National Parks Conservation Association,” 02.12.2018). The President has already taken action against several national parks. In 2017, Trump cut the size of two major national parks in Utah in half to promote oil and gas drilling as well as other resource acquisitions, to the alarm of many environmentalists and Native American tribes. Furthermore, Trump plans to reverse the actions of former President Obama, who protected 1.6 million acres in Nevada and Utah important to several Native American groups from the threat of drilling and mining (The Telegraph, “Donald Trump slashes size of national parks in Utah to allow drilling,” 12.04.2017). With all that is going on in the U.S., it is quite easy to forget the beautiful nature that envelops our country. When many think of America, they are faced with the controversial politics and extreme polarization of our country, and for good reason. However, it is important to remember that our country is not driven solely by politics, but is a nation comprised of living beings: human, animal and plant. The preservation of national parks is an issue with historical complexities and modern needs. As members of American society and the natural world, we must do all that we can to care for nature and those with whom we share our homes. Thus, it is vital to reflect on how you, as a college student, can protect the nature and history of national parks. For one, you can visit national parks. There are 60 nationally protected parks, in addition to state parks in 28 states. Nearby is the Hudson River Valley National Heritage Area, Harriman State Park and the Walkway Over the Hudson State Historic Park.
“Each time you visit a national park, you are letting the government know that you care about our country’s natural ecosystems.” Wandering through these parks not only puts humans in contact with the nature that more and more frequently evades our everyday lives, but also increases visitation numbers. Each time you visit a national park, you are letting the government know that you care about our country’s natural ecosystems. The government must be reminded how important it is that they are protected. When visiting these parks, or anywhere at all, it is important to leave no trace of your visit in order to maintain the homes of the animals, plants and people you are visiting. In efforts to battle the effects of climate change, we must do all we can to preserve the natural beauty of our surroundings. You can also take part in restorative justice to preserve the narratives of the Native Peoples who once inhabited, and still inhabit, these lands. National parks were created to erase the histories, cultures and narratives of Native Americans. Today, we can turn this former goal on its head in order to create spaces that honor and respect native heritage. By revealing the entire and true history of national park creation, we can better express the multifaceted historic and modern narratives of Native Peoples while simultaneously protecting and preserving our country’s wildlife.
Page 15
Word on the street What do you always lose?
“Time.” –Samin Huq ’20
“My self-respect. We’re at that point in the semester.” – Melanie Melo ’19
“My composure when I’m driving.” –Björn Hoppe, German Language Fellow
“My VCard.” –Emma Bauchner ’21
“My water bottle. It blends in with its surroundings even though it’s bright blue. I thought I lost it just now actually.” –May Li ’20
“My headphones.” –William Zemp ’20
Leah Cates, Humor & Satire Yesenia Garcia, Humor & Satire Hannah Benton, Photography
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
HUMOR & SATIRE
Page 16
March 29, 2018
Breaking News From the desk of Leah Cates and Yesenia Garcia, Humor & Satire Editors Jewett House announces addition of five more deadly sins in attempt to fully encompass all of Vassar students’ vices Confessions of a former Copy Editor: Grammar rant Tanya Kotru Gode
Like, You’re Literal Authority on Grammar
T
Courtesy of Samana Shrestha
his article is going to be a rant,. I have a lot of strong emotions when it comes to correct usage of grammar and the English language. Some might suggest it’s a remnant of India being colonized by the British, which would also explain my obsession with tea. Anyway, my devotion to grammar explains why I was the Copy Editor for the Misc last semester. I often mercilessly roast people who make grammar mistakes. And yes, I do feel like a terrible person, but at least I’m a terrible person with correct grammar! Heck, I take hours to post a simple status update on Facebook, for fear of committing the unforgivable sin of making a typo. If I became a president or monarch, I would be pretty chill, but a true tyrant when faced with infernal offenses against the English language. Punishments would involve compulsory grammar lessons. I’m warning you now—if I ever run for president, please don’t vote for me. If you stupidly do, well, maybe I’ll buy you a cup of covfefe for your kindness. Anyway, below is a list of sins against the English language that torment me. I wouldn’t be caught dead making such unacceptable mistakse. 1. The one that tops my list is using the word “literally” incorrectly, and using it all the time as though your life depends on it. One would think it’s like oxygen that keeps you alive, if you use it five times in a minute. Besides, the poor word is usually just used incorrectly for emphasis, like it has no meaning. Whenever someone says something like “I’m literally so tired right now,” I feel very tempted to ask how exactly one might be figuratively tired. And the fact that this unfortunate grammar mistake is all around me every single day is downright ludicrous. I’d even go as far
as to say that it’s literally so annoying! 2. The second one has got to be mixing up “your” and “you’re.” This one makes me want to pull out my hair. If on my wedding day, the priest says “Do you take Tanya to be you’re lawfully wedded wife,” I will scream bloody murder and run out. I will leave the man at the altar if he says “Your looking great in your wedding dress.” I have issues, but so do you if your really not aware of the difference. You’re grammar needs to be resuscitated, you’re grammar needs CPR. Your in need of help! Writing that as a joke made me cringe. 3. Another one is using “like” everywhere. I occasionally commit this heinous crime, like very rarely actually, like once in a blue moon, or like let’s just say I don’t. But there are some people for whom, if “literally” is oxygen, then “like” is the very molecules of which oxygen is made. It amuses me to imagine Britishers, with their incredibly attractive accents and otherwise perfect English, using “like” and “literally” everywhere. Imagine someone from Downton Abbey saying “I would literally like a cup of tea right now, like with milk and everything, and like, driving on the left side of the road literally makes more sense.” 4. The last one I can think of is incorrectly using “ain’t” and negatives, i.e. double negatives, or even just using “ain’t,” which isn’t even a correct word. I think that the song “Ain’t no mountain high enough” is a great one, but I’m sure my grammatically correct version called “No existing mountain is high enough” could be just as catchy. No, this does not make me uncool, because bad grammar is not cool. (I swear I have friends!) To sum up this rant of mine, just remember that you’re grammar is like literally the most important thing, and there ain’t nothing else that matters.
According to our trusty grammar expert Tanya, grammar transgressions are unequivocal grounds for abandoning your partner-to-be at the wedding altar. Make sure to practice your vows before you find yourself jilted as a result of your ghastly grammar!
The bare necessities: forget about your Vassar woes Annie Wang
Eternal Optimist
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onestly, I was pretty stumped on what to write about for this issue. It’s hard to write about something funny when life isn’t very funny. But then, I rewatched “The Jungle Book” live action over spring break, and dear old Baloo started singing one of my favorite Disney songs, “The Bare Necessities.” So, I had my Eureka moment and decided to put a Vassar twist on this concept. I don’t know what you all are feeling at this point, but I’m starting the second half of the second semester of my first year in college and it’s crazy! I just got here! Here’s some tips and hacks I’ve picked up (in my short experience) to thrive at Vassar when your world feels like it’s crumbling. 1. Chocolate is a necessity, not a luxury.
Always have some chocolate stashed...white, milk, dark, salted, semisweet...whatever suits your fancy. You’ll need some of that little bit of heaven for an unexpected breakup or test score or just when life feels like too much. 2. Deece smuggling: innovation at its finest!
When formal meals become troublesome, just bring along some Tupperware to the Deece and stash it in the fridge for a rainy/snowy/hazy/
drizzly day because who knows when those mozz sticks are returning? Try to crawl out of your cave to actually eat scheduled meals so that your body doesn’t freak out. Catch up with a friend while deecing. Eat and socialize at the same time—you can kill two birds with one stone!
while you pee. It’s good to remember things like “reserve the bed for sleep and sex” or that Spud Cannon’s album is potentially explosive. You know, the handy street-smart information essential to Vassar life.
count on having functional Wi-Fi when chilling in the Deece. If you want to eat and work at the same time (because we millenials are so good at multitasking) but don’t have the luxury of Apple products, Express and the Bridge have your back. Or you could Deece-smuggle and study in your room.
6. Party it out! Dance it off! Wait a sec... 3. Cry it out/Netflix and chill it out/Nap it out College can be really stressful.
No shame in allotting 15 minutes to bawl your eyes out or watch some Netflix or take a nap before getting back to work. Because you’re a human (even though your professors might think you’re Superman and run on jet fuel).
If partying on weekends is your gig, try the tally thing (learned this from a bathroom door in Davi). Or whatever floats your boat. Just remember: Sunday hangovers hurt. Also, you’ll have all that work you didn’t do Thursday. Or Friday. Or Saturday. But hey, Seven Deadly Sins, Halloweekend, Founder’s Day and Primal Scream are must-have experiences.
4. Be proactive about laundry.
Here’s the thing. There are only like 2400 of us on Vassar’s campus. And yet, for some reason, we fight to the death for laundry machines. Dorm basements are where Vassar people are the meanest. Avoid doing laundry on weekends or right before a break. Otherwise, some dude who literally hasn’t done laundry in a month will carry down like four loads of laundry and take yours out the second it’s done. Yikes.
7. Free and For Sale is your new best friend.
Why spend hundreds of dollars on clothes and all that traveling time on the mall shuttle to buy a warmer coat or nice dress shoes at the last minute when your fellow Vassar friends are always looking to sell their new or gently used hand-medowns anyway? So have someone add you to the Facebook group and shop away. Be the shark before the goodies are snatched away!
5. Maybe read the paper on the bathroom doors.
8. The Deece favors Apple products.
I mean, you might as well stimulate your brain
If you don’t have an iPhone or a Mac, don’t
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
9. Existential crisis?? Visit the CDO!
No idea what you are doing this summer? Don’t know how to answer that dreaded “where do you see yourself ten years from now?” Cover letters got you feeling sad and confused? Capitalist pressures causing you to drown stress from your unforeseen future financial status? The Career Development Office is very helpful to pull yourself together. Drop by, get someone to write your resume and grab a couple of pieces of candy. 10. Be wary that Vassar merch likes donkeys.
Look, Vassar merchandise from the Juliet is beautiful with options in maroon, grey, white, pink and navy. Problem is good ol’ Matthew’s last name flaunt its “ass” everywhere. Hats, shirts—you name it. Anything with “Vassar” centered on it highlights this word. So if you have a small frame, maybe avoid hunching when wearing that adorable jersey shirt. Or not, if you’re an adamant lover of wild-ass rides because Vassar is definitely one.
March 29, 2018
HUMOR & SATIRE
Page 17
Humor Editor unveils concept for ‘Rate My Students’ Yesenia Garcia/The Miscellany News
Leah Cates
Founder and CEO of Rate My Students
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ate My Professors is my go-to when it comes time for course selection. I know, I know. It’s biased—only the most deeply disgruntled and glowingly exuberant students actually bother posting on it. It assigns teachers numbers to indicate their “overall quality” when, in fact, humans aren’t hotels. And yet somehow every time Colleen Mallet sends us one of those blood pressure-skyrocketing “Pre-registration begins on…” emails, I find myself opening a new tab and eagerly typing in “rate my professors,” because despite the site’s obvious pitfalls, I can’t help but quench my curiosity about what shenanigans students from last semester (or anytime since the end of the Clinton administration, since Rate My Professors can be pitifully out of date) got into with Professor Penguin of the Ancient Antarctic Studies department who’s teaching that course on the history of the earless seal that I just have to take. So, to complement the shameless judgement and vengeance characteristic of Rate My Professors, I present to you the following website concept: Rate My Students. It will provide professors a platform to publicly lament their sleepy, needy and apathetic students, and to applaud the conscientious, bright-eyed, I-did-some-extra-primary-source-reading ones. The upper bar would read “search for a student or school,” and professors could go right down the list of students on their rosters and type in every single name. Say, for example, the first student pops up with an “overall quality” of 4.9, a 98 percent for “would teach again,” and a 4.5 for “level of dif-
The Miscellany News was able to obtain an exclusive interview with founder and CEO Leah Cates. Cates revealed to us the brand new “original” logo for her website. ficulty.” Potential “tags for this student” might include “amazing essays,” “enthusiastic participation,” “argues any grade under an A,” “begs for extra credit” and “get ready for office hour visits.” Below would read the teachers’ comments: “Amazing! This kid will seriously improve the depth of your in-class discussions. Not afraid to voice opinion and debate with fellow students, but always respectful. Asks great questions.” “Definitely would recommend! I always looked forward to her thoughtful and original responses to both essays and exam questions. She also has neat handwriting, which is a huge time-saver!” Of course, there’s a reason for that 4.0 level of difficulty: “Yes, she’s a bright, hardworking kid, but she’ll take up literally all of your time in office hours. Which is fine, unless you have a line of students waiting outside. Once, she would not leave until I answered all 25 of her questions, many of which regarded citation nuances, as opposed to actual content matter. Opened the door to a line of five students outside my office. I had to leave (poor
kids!) and then spent my Friday evening answering their questions by email. :/” So how might a professor use this information? Peek outside the door every 15 or so minutes during office hours with said student to check whether a mob is building. Vow in advance not to budge during the drama that inevitably follows a deserved B on an essay. But otherwise, feel grateful that this dedicated and motivated student signed up to take his/her class. Now, say that the second student has an “overall quality” of 1.4, a nine percent for “would teach again” and a 4.2 for “level of difficulty.” This student’s tags include “naps in class,” “frequently skips,” “illegible handwriting” and “beware of below desk texting.” This time, the comments might read something like the following: “Honestly, I don’t understand why this kid would enroll in college if he’s just going to sleep through all his classes. And my class wasn’t even at nine a.m.—it was at 1:30 p.m.! Tried repeatedly to engage him, including talking to him after class to see if everything was okay. He was polite and
HOROSCOPES
sweet, but continued to use my class as his postlunch siesta.” “When awake, contributes humorous remarks to class discussions. But usually sleeping, with legs up on chair in front of him (ugh), or absent entirely. Seems great outside classroom, but avoid at all costs as a student!” In response to such unfortunate data, a professor might email the prospective student, politely regretting to inform him that enrollment caps suddenly had to be diminished and that his was the unlucky name picked out of Matthew Vassar’s splashy top hat. Then the student would be the problem of whichever hapless professor neglected to check out Rate My Students. But alas, Rate My Student would suffer from the same flaws as Rate My Professors. Perhaps out of the 12 professors Sleepy Sam had at Vassar, 10 of them adored him, and the only two disgruntled faculty members were the ones that rated him precisely because they were so peeved. Maybe those two professors taught single variable calculus and Greek, which he took only to fill his quantitative and language requirements, and he’s a Shakespeare-adoring aspiring playwright who double majors in drama and English. That doesn’t make it any less rude for him to nap in class, but that also doesn’t mean that he will not be an engaged student in Drama 216- “Wherefore art Thou? Discovering Thyself Through Playwriting.” Plus, it might make for some seriously anxious students. Because if I just have to scour Rate My Professor for the juiciest gossip on my potential professors, then certainly I wouldn’t be able to resist typing my own name into the Rate My Students search bar…
Hannah Gaven
amateur astrologist
ARIES
March 21 | April 19
TAURUS
April 20 | May 20
GEMINI
May 21 | June 20
CANCER
June 21 | July 22
LEO
July 23 | August 22
VIRGO
August 23 | September 22
Doctors agree that waking up early and working out before class is a healthy practice. With spring approaching, you have no excuse to skip out on the gym, as there won’t be ice on the ground. Sadly, you won’t see me there.
Getting back to the daily grind may be wearing you down. To lift your spirits, I suggest listening to Christmas music. You can keep things interesting by listening to a different genre of Christmas music each week. Start with the classics, then pop, country, instrumental and finally the soundtrack of “Elf.” Avoid doing cocaine this week. ….. ….. ….. April Fools.
I suspect you don’t moisturize as much as your body needs. Change that by hosting a moisturizing party where you invite all your friends, family, acquaintances and professors to lotion their legs and elbows! My sister, certified moisturizer, recommends 45 minutes of lathering before bed. It’s probably been awhile since your last doctor’s appointment, and you might want to discuss why you’re tired all the time (probably because you go to bed at 3 a.m.). While some fear the doctor, you’ll be able to power through without worrying about a tuberculosis scare. As summer approaches, you may be tempted to give up. Don’t be like me and give up like I did on the Virgo horoscope for this week.
LIBRA
September 23 | October 22
SCORPIO
October 23 | November 21
SAGITTARIUS
November 22 | December 21
CAPRICORN
December 22 | January 19
AQUARIUS
January 20 | February 18
PISCES
February 19 | March 20
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Life may seem bleak after your glorious and stressfree spring break. One way to keep your happiness and excitement alive during the last few weeks of school is to get a bunch of motivational posters. My favorite is the “hang in there” kitty poster.
You may be struggling with your identity. If you’re getting tired of your everyday look, you can quickly change it up by shaving your head or dyeing your hair rainbow colored. Also consider dyeing all your clothes black to become more goth. College is a stressful time. In order to blow off some steam, I recommend regressing back to your childhood. You can do this through watercoloring sunsets or glitter glueing your shirts. Hopefully your mom will love your artwork and hang it on the fridge like she used to. Avoid the mall/shopping this week. While shopping may be a great stress reliever, it can also take an emotional toll. However, purchasing a $1o pink sparkly skirt can do significant wonders for your confidence.
You may have been feeling down recently. So, take advantage of being back at school where you have access to ice cream from 11 a.m.–1 a.m. This means you can have ice cream for every meal, and it’s scientifically proven that ice cream makes you happy. Get a head start on the senior streak and go to all of your classes in the nude. It’s not against school rules, as we are a clothing-optional campus. Also, with the start of spring, it’ll be warm enough. Good luck and happy streaking!
SPORTS
Page 18
March 29, 2018
Thoughts from the Editor An unpredictable Madness Mack Liederman Sports Editor
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n just three short weeks, the NBA will commence its first round of playoff basketball. The regular season has been slowly winding down, and so has fans’ interest. It is tough to watch reserves play the majority of minutes in meaningless games Although the first-round will be refreshing, it’s not expected bring too much newfound excitement. There is no debate, no need to compare matchups—we all know what is going to happen. LeBron will lock his Twitter account and turn it up a notch, easily bullying an Eastern Conference bottom-feeder. The Warriors will rest their stars and dismantle an opponent using primarily their bench. Future MVP James Harden will trot up and down the court in a blissful daze, staring down a defender after casually hitting a step-back jumper. Every year, the NBA playoffs follow a clean and concise script. For low-seeded teams, it is just a nearly impossible task to outplay one of the world’s best players four separate times. To see real competition, fans must patiently wait until the semi-final and championship round. But take look at the NCAA tournament, and there is a striking inverse effect. Outside of the hype of the Final Four, the first round has become the tournament’s marquee event. From perennial powerhouses down to obscure teams with non-intimidating mascots, the parity is almost shocking. This year, the University of Maryland, Baltimore County Retrievers (Yes, as in golden retrievers) became the first 16-seed to win a tournament game, using a ferocious attack to take down an
offensively challenged Virginia team. Every tournament seems to mark a new first, a new unbelievable outcome that reaches a higher degree. Come March, the improbable becomes the inevitable. There is simply no better breeding ground for upsets. College basketball’s slow style of play allows any team to stick around in any game. Add in a one-game elimination, and competitiveness and hustle have the potential to outpace talent. Retrievers can stand even against big dogs. The NCAA tournament stands alone as basketball’s most beautiful democracy. It’s easy to defy the odds in the first round, but few underdogs have the talent necessary for longevity. Yet, every year there is one team that survives and advances, capturing a nation-wide fanbase along the journey. Everyone cheered for Shaka Smart’s VCU team, high-flying Florida Gulf Coast, and the Gordon Hayward led Butler Bulldogs. Now up next, cue the Loyola-Chicago Ramblers. With compelling wins over Miami, Tennessee, Nevada and Kansas State, the Ramblers have become the newest mid-major program to reach the Final Four—And the wins are no fluke. The Ramblers feature high-level guard play with an explosive player in Marques Townes, a guy capable of creating his own space. Aundre Jackson adds to a balanced attack as an offensive spark plug off the bench. Big men Donte Ingram and Cameron Krutwig assert an inside presence and clear driving lanes. Finally, at the forefront of Ramblers offense are Clayton Custer and Ben Richardson, two highly skilled guards with great instincts. Richardson and Custer feature a strong chemistry, likely due
New bill gives MLB free pass on paying overtime Myles Olmsted Guest Columnist
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pring is here, and with it, baseball. MLB teams have spent the past month in Florida and Arizona, preparing for the long season, which begins March 29. The new season brings with it plenty of storylines, but perhaps the most intriguing plot point in the baseball world comes not from the the sunshine and clipped grass of spring training, but from our nation’s capital. Last Friday, after threatening a veto that very morning, President Trump signed into law the $1.3 trillion Omnibus Spending Bill passed by Congress. On page 1,967 of the bill, tucked quietly between a provision amending the National Child Protection Act and a provision aiming to prevent abuse in youth sports, is a provision titled the “Save America’s Pastime Act.” This tiny provision—fewer than 150 words—amends section 13(a) of the 1938 Fair Labor Standards Act in regard to minor-league baseball players. During the season, no matter how many hours minor leaguers spend on baseball activities— practices, soft toss, bus rides, time in the training room—they aren’t required to be paid beyond the 40-hour threshold. With the federal minimum wage still at $7.25 an hour, that means players are guaranteed only about $1,160 a month. Players are only required to be paid during the season. It goes without saying that many minor-leaguers already find second jobs during the offseason, if not during the season as well. It’s not like the provision is helping out a small business in need. Minor League teams are overseen by the Major League teams, who set the salaries. Why does Congress, in the middle of a significant spending bill, amidst all the other stuff on its plate, feel compelled to exempt Major League Baseball, a multibillion dollar organization, from paying overtime to its employees who already in some cases live below the poverty line? The idea of exempting minor-league baseball players from overtime regulations is not new. In
2014, Representatives Cheri Bustos (D-IL) and Brett Guthrie (R-KY) brought to Congress a bill also titled the “Save America’s Pastime Act,” which aimed to do the same. Met with backlash, Bustos quickly ran from her own bill, and the act stalled (Washington Post, “After outcry over minor league baseball bill, congresswoman can’t disown it fast enough,” 6.30.2016). America’s pastime needs saving. The sport isn’t popular with young people and has struggled to market stars. The MLB has tried to evolve, most notably its pace-of-play, but baseball at its core— slow, strategic, romantic—likely just isn’t well suited to this modern age. Paying minor leaguers less is not going to save America’s pastime. So why then do congress representatives keep bringing it up? Perhaps because the MLB wants it. According to opensecrets.org, the MLB spent nearly $1.4 million on lobbying in both 2016 and 2017. This sudden spending increase takes on a new light when you consider that the league has been fighting a lawsuit filed in 2014 by a group of ex–minor league players alleging failure to comply with the Fair Labor Standards Act (Fansided, “Senne v. Royals is the case that could change Major League Baseball,” 10.25.2017). As best as I could find, Major League Baseball has not responded to questions regarding the bill. There are multiple angles defending MLB that I’ve seen floating around the internet. “This isn’t normal labor,” argues one. “They’re more like apprenticeships.” Another suggests that we don’t want to be telling young players they can’t work extra hours on their skills. I’ve also seen the argument that it’s just the market talking and if players don’t like the compensation they can find a different job. This last take ignores the fact that the MLB is actually exempt from antitrust laws, but to me that’s beside the point anyway. To me it comes down to this: We don’t need to try to come up with creative angles to analyze the situation. Major League Baseball pulls in billions of dollars. Why should it be exempt from federal law?
to the fact that they’ve been playing together since the third grade. “People used to laugh at us when we thought we were going to play Division I basketball, nobody thought we could do this,” said Custer in a on-court interview after the Rambler’s Final Four birth. “Let me tell you a story,” interrupted Richardson, standing alongside his best friend. “A girl came up yesterday and said ‘Can I take a picture with guys?’ and she hands the phone to him.” (Twitter, (a)ForPetesSakeKC, 03.25.2018). Custer harbors no ill will for the incident, and instead has basked in the story, retweeting it multiple times and bringing it up again at his press conferences. It is clear that the Ramblers take great pride in adopting the Cinderella image, in being just the humbled regular guys, full of hope and heart. Alongside their telegenic team chaplain, 98-year-old Sister Jean, Loyola-Chicago has all the makings of a public darling. They have storied history, winning the 1963 National Championship as the first team to break the “gentlemen’s agreement” and play more than two Black players. They hail from a major sports city that has not reached college basketball’s pinnacle in a long time. “Incredible to have a Chicago team in the Final Four. I’ll take that over an intact bracket any day,” tweeted popular social media man Barack Obama (Twitter, (a)BarackObama, 03.25.2018). However, not everyone has bought in on Loyola-Chicago. Of course, infamous pessimist Stephen A. Smith had a unique opinion. “When it comes to the national championship game, I want to see the two best teams in the nation,” asserted
Smith. “If I had to see Loyola-Chicago or Michigan up against Kansas or Villanova, I’d take Michigan” (ESPN, “Stephen A. doesn’t want to see Loyola in national championship,” 03.26.2018). It is hard to root against a team as likeable and compelling as Loyola-Chicago, but Smith does make an important point about the tournament. Given the format, the best team does not always come out on top. Each upset is accompanied by a bittersweet feeling. Everyone loves an underdog story, but on the other hand, we want to watch the highest level of competition and see the best players move on. March Madness can be weirdly frustrating, and ironically unfair. Every year I used to print out a bracket on my mother’s finest cardstock, and carefully make my picks in fine-point Sharpie, after hours of meticulous research. I’d daydream about what I would do with the $200-some odd dollars from my friend’s pool. But every year, another Cinderella would come along and crush my first-place hopes. This year was the first I decided not to fill out a bracket. No matter how much I believed I could, there was no predicting the improbable. Not too many had foresight (not even Sister Jean) to see that a team that lost to Boise State by over 30 points would be two games away from a national championship. So this year, I decided to put my Sharpie down, and just sit back and enjoy March’s ride. Just like a glass slipper, Cinderella teams are fragile, one wrong step or calculation away from defeat. So maybe just like a Disney movie, if we believe hard enough, the regular guys can come out on top.
In this year’s draft, it’s all about the first four QBs Jonathan Levi-Minzi Guest Columnist
B
ecause it often works out that the worst NFL teams are lacking a successful quarterback, many years the quarterback prospects rise to the top of the draft results. Last year’s NFL draft represented something of an aberration; only two quarterbacks went in the first 10 picks. The norm is back with this season’s crop. Headlining the quarterback selection are USC’s Sam Darnold, UCLA’s Josh Rosen, Wyoming’s Josh Allen and Oklahoma’s Baker Mayfield. Darnold has been in the limelight since the 2016–17 season, when he became the first freshman quarterback to win the Archie Griffin Award. The USC quarterback is known as a solid pocket passer. Often, Darnold makes seemingly impossible-to-complete passes in very tight windows. Scouts see this as a key attribute going forward, as defenses only get better on the next level. The flipside of Darnold’s noted ability to execute unlikely completions is his perhaps over-eager willingness to take risks. The second-year quarterback was responsible for 22 turnovers last season, tying him for the most in the Football Bowl Subdivision. Darnold’s Los Angeles counterpart Rosen has also been turning heads for a while. With a 63 percent completion rate in a pro-style offense, Rosen is seen as a skilled passer who is ready for the NFL. Writes football columnist Bob Glauber: “His mechanics are excellent, and [he] rarely throws off balance. [He] has a fluid throwing motion and shows great confidence” (“NFL draft 2018: Scouting the QBs” 03.23.2018, Newsday). This past season, when Rosen and Darnold faced off, it was Rosen who came out of the game called the better prospect. Though UCLA dropped the game, Rosen more than made up for his failure in leadership by gaining over 400 yards through the air and throwing three touchdowns along the way. Darnold achieved a solitary touchdown, rushing in a short one in the opening of the
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
second half. He threw an interception, and was judged by NFL media analyst Daniel Jeremiah as having been, “...too frenetic in the first half, bailing out of several clean pockets” (NFL News, “Darnold wins game, Rosen wins QB battle,” 11.19.2017 ) The heartland’s answer to the coastal quarterback glut is the imposing Josh Allen, Wyoming’s quarterback with a huge arm. Allen has perhaps been the most impressive quarterback in the predraft process. Even in an article highly skeptical of Allen’s potential, The Ringer’s Ryan O’Hanlon acknowledges that Allen, “Belongs in a special class of athlete: the kind that begs for the dimensions of the playing surface to be expanded” (03.26.2018 “Josh Allen is a Football Fantasy” The Ringer). Allen’s stature and arm contrast with his somewhat average statistics in college. He notched only a 56.3 percent completion rate this past year, and his yards-per-attempt metric dipped below seven, an especially paltry measure considering Wyoming’s paltry strength of schedule in the Mountain West Conference. Rounding out the big four of the quarterback class this season is the indefatigable Baker Mayfield. Mayfield boasts perhaps the most impressive resume of any of the four standouts, highlighted by his recent Heisman Award win. Football Outsiders’ Quarterback-Adjusted-Stats-And-Experience projection system believes that Mayfield has, far and away, the greatest chance to be a top quarterback. Performing against a much tougher schedule than Josh Allen, Mayfield achieved 11.5 yards per attempt. Football Outsiders is pretty much the only somewhat well-known analytical publication on football, and this fact speaks to how physical measurables and basic offensive stats predominate in evaluating football players. However the order of their selection shakes out, these four quarterbacks have undoubtedly been coronated by the media as having franchise-altering potential. The irony is that the one judged best will be plying his trade for the Cleveland Browns!
March 29, 2018
SPORTS
Page 19
Spring break trips ring in new season for Vassar athletics Kelly Pushie
Guest Reporter
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The men’s and women’s track teams both traveled to Arizona over spring break, where they competed in the Willie Williams classic. Various Vassar runners posted personal bests during the two-day meet. Some highlights for the men’s team included an 800-meter run from first-year Ayden Gann, who came in at 1:56.55, taking 11th overall and finishing third in his heat. Senior Michael Scarlett took third place overall in the 5000-meter run, posting a time of 15:10.20. For the women’s team, sophomore Erin Clark finished the 800-meter run for a personal best of 2:19.41, securing sixth place. Senior Maddy Pieper ran the 5000-meter and finished 11th overall with a time of 20:07.82. The women’s golf team took a successful trip to Florida, where they went head-to-head against Mount Holyoke College and then competed in a
three-team match against Mount Holyoke College and Hamilton College. The Brewers defeated Mount Holyoke in their first match 339-365. Two days later, they took first place against Mount Holyoke and Hamilton. “The trip was one of the best in my experience. For us, it was really great going down to Florida since we finally got to play golf outdoors and on grass for the first time since our fall season,” Senior Annie Hsu explained. “It was super fun and constructive for getting us back into the swing of things (haha). Plus, I felt like the team really got closer and we did some of our best bonding.” Overall, all of the athletics teams had successful spring break trips, complete with some great competition, personal and team bests and invaluable team bonding.
Courtesy of Kelly KarenPushie Crook
his past spring break, eight Vassar athletics teams packed up their bags and traded in their sweatpants and sweatshirts for shorts, t-shirts and sunscreen. Vassar athletes were all over the country, spreading from Florida to Tennessee all the way to California. The women’s lacrosse team set their alarms for 3 a.m. on Saturday morning for an early flight down to the Sunshine State. While in Florida, the women’s team had two games lined up, one against Kean University and the other against Westfield State University. The Brewers were unable to come back to VC with a win, but played two hardfought games. In the game against Kean, a slow start plagued the women’s team, who were down by four at halftime and could not come back from the deficit in the second half. Against Westfield State, the Brewers were caught up in an intense high-scoring affair, but were unable to stop Owls offense. Although the Brewers did not secure a win during their trip, senior captain Olivia O’Loughlin thought the team benefitted from the trip down to Florida. “I always find the trip to Florida to be invaluable,” she expressed. “Although our season started in February, the team’s trip to Florida really brings us together and allows us to develop a chemistry off the field that then translates on the field. You really couldn’t ask for more: a five-day trip with your teammates and best friends, great weather and an opportunity to grow and learn from playing very talented teams.” The men’s tennis team made the trek out to California, where they played three matches. Unfortunately, the Brewers were unable to secure an overall victory, but there were some hard-fought matches, and some players picked up impressive individual victories. In their first match against
Caltech, the Brewers lost 1-8. Junior Jamie Anderson won in a tiebreaker at the fourth singles position, 6-3, 1-6, 15-13. In their next match, the Brewers lost 3-6 to Chapman University and lost 2-7 to Pomona-Pitzer. The team was slated to play Case Western Reserve University, but the match was postponed due to rain. The women’s tennis team also spent their break in California, where they matched up against four teams, securing victories against two of them. The Brewers lost their first contest of the trip to Bowdoin College 0-9. However, they bounced back against Whitman College, where they secured a 6-3 victory. The team next matched up against Chapman University, where they lost a close contest 4-5. In their final match of the trip, the Brewers brought home a victory against Caltech with a affirmative score of 6-3. The Brewers won in four positions at singles and two positions at doubles. The rowing team took a long bus ride to Oak Ridge, Tennessee, where they had a few days in the warmth to train. It was the first time the Brewers could get on the water in months. Coach Shawn Turner, who is in his fourth season as head coach of the rowing team, commented on the spring break trip. “After almost five months off the water, the trip south is crucial to building the skill set and boat chemistry required to maximize the team’s potential,” Turner said, “Just as important is the bonding that occurs on a trip like this. It helps form the trust required for individuals to push themselves to the limit in a team setting.” Additionally, this training trip is beneficial for the Brewers because it helps prepare them for course conditions that they will see later in the season. “Training in Oak Ridge is unique in that we have the opportunity to row on a fully buoyed race course, which best prepares the team for championship racing at the end of the season,” Turner explained.
The women’s lacrosse team poses for a photo after a spring break practice in Port Charlotte, FL. The team dropped close matches to Kean and Westfield State in their trip to the Sunshine State.
VC baseball players warm up under Californian sun Fiona MacLeod Guest Reporter
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ast week, to prepare for upcoming Liberty League games, the Vassar College baseball team traveled to California for spring training. Despite going 2-5 on the West Coast, the team performed impressively throughout the trip. “We would’ve liked to win more games on the trip, but we knew it was going to be a difficult task,” Coach Matthew Righter admitted. “The purpose was to grow as a team and compete with high-level programs that were already halfway through their seasons.” Initially, the team fell 3-2 in their opener against Chapman University. While sophomore Dan Bonfiglio snagged the Brewers’ first season hit in the first inning, Chapman was first to score. Though sophomore Evan Trausch and senior captain Bobby Kinne secured bases, the Brewers were unable to score, and Chapman posted two more runs. Senior Eric Strickland earned a Brewer run in the sixth, and Vassar entered the ninth down 1-3, where Elliott Layne earned his first hit and anoth-
er Brewer score. In his first year, Layne is batting a .385 with a notable on-base percentage of .600. However, his run wasn’t enough, as Vassar lost, failing to score with bases loaded in the ninth. On the mound, lefty sophomore Max Spencer allowed just three hits in four innings, striking out four hitters. Following this tight loss, the Brewers played another close game against Occidental College, falling 3-4. The first six innings passed without any Vassar runs. In the seventh, junior Matt Schwartz earned a hit, allowing first-years Matt McGannon and Tanner Blough to touch home. Vassar failed to score again despite having two runners on base, ultimately taking the loss. The team faced another quick turnaround, taking on Pomona-Pitzer the following morning. Finally, the Brewers clinched an 8-6 win, highlighted by a grand slam that helped Kinne secure a Liberty League Honor Roll spot. Two runs by Trausch gave Vassar the lead in the third, but Pomona-Pitzer answered with five runs. At the top of the sixth, Kinne slammed his third career home run, putting the
Courtesy of Dave Hartnett
Lefty Max Spencer winds up to deal a pitch during a spring break game in California. Spencer had a fantastic trip, posting one of the best statistical starts in Vassar history.
Brewers up 7-6. Strickland’s following hit allowed senior Matt Hernandez to reach home, and junior pitcher Bryan Rubin ended the game with a strikeout, earning his first season save. “The win against Pomona was huge for us because we had been so close to winning the first two games,” Kinne recalled. “Losing two one-run contests can be tough on morale, so finally hitting a breakthrough meant a lot. It’s a sign of good things to come for our offense, defense, and pitching staff.” After two practice days, the Brewers came out strong against Caltech. Pitching a 5-0 shutout, Spencer had one of the best games in Vassar program history. The tall sophomore let up just two hits while allowing no runs over eight innings, not only earning him Liberty League Pitcher of the Week, but also tying him for the second-longest starting stretch without any allowed runs. Two allowed hits in an eight-inning start were the fewest ever in Vassar history. “Caltech was one of those special games where it feels like everything goes right,” Spencer said. “I trusted my pitches enough to go right at every batter. Especially with how well our fielders are doing, it’s easy to have confidence in them making tough plays when I need it.” Runs from Blough, McGannon, Hernandez and newcomer Gunnar Widercrantz helped Spencer secure the victory. “Our pitching is coming right together,” Coach Righter noted. “Spencer was an ace this trip and should lead us going into conference play.” He explained, “If our starting pitchers do well, it takes the pressure off of our bullpen, helping us contend for a Liberty League title.” Against the University of La Verne the following morning, the Brewers couldn’t make up for a sixrun inning by their opponents, ultimately falling 3-10. The Brewers had the lead in the third, thanks to Kinne’s second home run of the season and a score by Layne. But La Verne responded with six runs, and while Bonfiglio scored in the sixth off a single from Schwartz, La Verne followed with three more runs to win.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
The following afternoon saw a similar game, as Vassar took a 6-9 loss to Occidental College. The top of the third saw five Brewer runs, including scores from Layne and Trausch and RBI doubles from Schwartz and Bonfiglio. Despite this tremendous inning, Occidental eventually regained the lead, totaling eight runs over four innings. Scoring on a fly from Trausch, Layne cut the deficit to just two runs in the seventh. But Occidental answered with their own run, claiming the victory. The final day of the trip ended in a loss for the Brewers as Whittier College racked up nine runs in four innings. Kinne, McGannon, Bonfiglio, Blough and junior Jesse Mulham were the only Brewers to secure hits for the day. The seven games played over break emphasize the strength in numbers on this year’s team. “We have a lot of talent every year, but this team has the most depth and dedication of any I’ve played on,” Kinne noted. With abundant players at each position, the Brewers have the ability to tackle any in-game situation they encounter. Heading into conference play, the Brewers will focus on this new depth and attempt to maintain a strong work ethic. “The games we played this break were valuable, allowing us to prepare for the Liberty League,” Layne concluded. “Our main goal now is to win the league and make a run for the College World Series. Our team mentality of ‘get the job done’ will help us achieve larger goals moving forward.” The teams out West may have been some of the strongest that Vassar will face all season. Many opponents had multiple games under their belts, emphasizing the Brewers’ skill to keep games close. “The teams we faced had more pitching depth than we’re used to. We faced some mid-90 pitches, which was an exciting test for us,” Kinne clarified. “The Liberty League is a strong conference, and I’d equate the talent we saw out there to top league teams.” The Brewers will open conference play against Saint Lawrence University on Friday.
SPORTS
Page 20
Why
we
March 29, 2018
Alex Riccio
play
Alex Riccio
Guest Columnist
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Courtesy of Carlisle Stockton
all semester sophomore year was supposed to be a new beginning for me. A turbulent first year—both at school and at home—had left me looking to get the new year off on the right foot. But just two weeks in, my life as a college athlete was over. Or so I thought. I was not recruited to play tennis at Vassar. I knew I would have to walk on, and if I made it, I would be a fringe player. Ever since middle school, tennis had been the focal point of my life. Whether it was convincing my dad to hit with me for an hour or getting up at 3 a.m. to watch Roger Federer play in the Australian Open, my schedule revolved around tennis. After spending six years dedicating my life to the sport, my future as a competitive tennis player would be decided over the course of five short days: freshman year tryouts. Yet somehow, for that entire week, I was in the zone. Before I knew it, I had made the team. I was elated, almost in disbelief. I didn’t know that this feeling would be short-lived. My freshman year was filled with obstacles and mistakes. I resided at the bottom of the ladder, and my game was sluggish—I couldn’t find the rhythm I had discovered in tryouts. To make matters worse, I missed the bus to an away match, which certainly didn’t help my cause. All of these problems were dwarfed, however, by health concerns at home. My dad was battling cancer, and cancer was winning. We lived only two short hours apart, and yet there was nothing I could do to help him. Suffice to say, freshman year had gone way off course. Fast forward to sophomore year, and I was in the same position I had been in 12 months earlier: To make the team, I had to try out. This time, I wasn’t as lucky. Despite hours of desperate preparation over summer break, I never found my game during the week that mattered. Instead of focusing on winning, I was just trying not to lose. I was cut—my collegiate tennis career was over before it ever really began. I had no idea what to do next. Well, not initially.
“Why We Play” is a weekly installment where Vassar players write about what their chosen sport means to them. This week, we feature senior squash player Alex Riccio, pictured above. If one thing was for sure, I didn’t want to leave athletics behind, but what other sport could I play? More important, what other sport would I be good at? Then, I arrived at squash—another racket sport. I had never hit a squash ball before, but luckily, I had a few friends on the team who offered to teach me how to play. I immediately felt comfortable on court. Squash was a game I knew I could learn, and a game I knew I would enjoy In a few weeks’ time, I was an athlete again. In many ways, actually, I was where I was my first year—at the bottom of the ladder, but this time,
Men’s Lacrosse
Women’s Lacrosse
Vassar College 8, RIT 19
Vassar College 10, St. Lawrence 9
February 24, 2018
February 24, 2018
Vassar College # 10 15 18 20 24 35 37 38 42 44 1 2 3 4 5 7 8 11 12 16 19 21 22 23 25 27 32 33 34 36 45
Player M. Lowery TK Murphy S. Felps N. Diamond Z. Henig M. Boyd C. Erdman M. Mullen A. Mello C. Vorel P. Sargeant L. Neville J. Thomas K. Cherry J. Heuston P. Gibbons A. Georgalas N. Lyman P. Zimmerman T. Meade C. Croghan E. Burns D. Stebel R. Weiss S. Duryee J. Bradley R. Quattlebaum C. Landolt C. Koester C. Arney M. Killion
Totals.......
on a different team. I was ranked number 14, but I had no intentions of staying there. I wanted to be a starter, which meant I would have to jump five spots in just five months. So, with my competitive drive reignited, I started working. As the weeks passed, my game steadily improved. With help from my coaches and teammates, I climbed the ladder one spot at a time. Each week I didn’t start only added fuel to the fire, until I finally worked my way up to number 10, with nationals on the horizon. Nationals host the most competitive matches of the squash season, and naturally, I wanted to
be a part of them. Somehow, in the final week of practice, I clawed my way to number nine. I was a starter, and I immediately set a new goal: win every match at nationals. Well…that didn’t happen. I lost my opening match, in convincing fashion. I played afraid, similarly to how I played in my failed tennis tryouts. To make matters worse, we lost the match 4-5. I told myself I wasn’t going to let the same thing happen twice. But at the start of our next match, it looked like I was going to do just that. I lost the first six points—my opponent was in complete control. Then, suddenly, the tides turned, and my nerves were gone. My hunger for winning finally outweighed my fear of losing. Before I knew it, I had won the game 11-9. I breezed through the next two games, clinching my first win, and I wanted more. My momentum carried over into my next match, the last match of the season. I won the first game 11-4, and I thought I was on my way to another easy victory. But before I knew it, I was in a dogfight. My opponent raised his game, putting me on the back foot. After a grueling 22 points, I lost the second game 10-12. I loved it. Surprisingly, this became the type of match I lived for. My game elevated, and I won the final two games 12-10, 12-10. To date, it remains the match I am most proud of. Not only did squash became a sport that I came to love, but it also reignited my passion for competition—for competing to win. As nationals rolled around for my final year, I found myself once again locked in three tight battles, and loving every minute of it. Squash was certainly not a part of the plan at the start of my sophomore year, but looking back now, I couldn’t imagine the past few years without it. Sometimes, things just don’t go as planned, and that’s okay. Personally, I’m glad my plans diverged. Squash helped me rediscover my competitive fire—and finding that fire, I finally realized, is why I play.
#1 RIT
G
A
P
SH GB
1 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
0 0 1 0 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 3 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
5 1 0 2 0 0 0 6 1 1 0 0 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 5 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 3 0 0 0
8
5 1 0 0 1 2 3 3 0 2 0 0 3 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0
3 11 29 23
# 2 3 15 22 23 27 33 38 47 50 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 18 19 20 21 24 25 26 28 32
Player A. Maruna E. Salama S. Nally D. Tait B. Riley J. Menecola R. Tandy Z. Ursu W. Hare J. Spillane C. Gebhardt T. Irwin C. Brown K. Killen C. Issac B. MacDonald B. Tackett L. Smeltzer Q. Commandant J. Trottier A. Doktor A. Millburn R. Barnable C. Pupp L. Henderson M. Wiechers T. Smyth A. Przybilla P. Shoemay A. Powlin M. Pogue M. Streit Totals.......
Vassar College
G
A
P
SH GB
0 2 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 3 0 0 0 1 0 1 3 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 0
0 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1 0
0 2 3 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 4 3 0 0 0 2 0 1 4 3 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 3 0
0 2 4 0 2 0 6 0 0 1 1 0 0 11 7 1 0 0 3 0 3 3 2 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 4 0
0 2 1 0 0 1 1 2 1 7 1 0 1 4 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 2 1 0 0 1 0
19 13 32 56 30
# 2 3 7 9 11 13 14 16 18 24 25 31 4 6 21 22
Player F. MacLeod T. Waters O. O’Loughlin T. Newcomb A. LaMere K. Pushie A. MacEwen S. Sidelau A. Rivoir S. Nemphos A. Fable E. Chancey S. Herrera-Ross L. Wolk H. Hallman G. Patick
Totals.......
G
1 3 0 0 0 0 2 2 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0
A
P
2 0 0 0 0 6 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
3 3 0 0 0 6 2 2 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0
SH GB
2 5 0 0 0 1 2 6 4 0 0 0 0 1 0 0
10 8 18 21
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
St. Lawrence 2 5 1 2 0 1 2 0 0 2 0 0 2 0 0 0
17
# 4 5 7 11 12 14 18 20 21 25 28 31 3 6 10 15
Player
G
0 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 0 3 0 0 0 0 0
M. Manning R. Boghosian A. Norris T. Kent A. LaMotte J. Sovie G. Massey M. Rice K. Schmalz E. Jewett C. Armstrong O. Lukas A. Vatcher A. Wilson M. Barlow C. Hoffman
Totals.......
9
A
P
SH GB
0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 0
0 3 1 0 0 0 1 0 2 0 3 0 0 0 1 0
0 9 2 0 3 0 0 0 9 1 5 0 0 0 0 0
2 2 1 0 1 2 5 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0
2 11 29 14