The Miscellany News
Since 1866 | miscellanynews.org
Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY
Volume CLII | Issue 2
September 12, 2019
Pi’erre to headline ViCE fall concert EPI defunding instigates ALANA fellow transfer Abby Tarwater
“Y
Arts Editor
Tiana Headley Reporter
T
o be a student of color at a historically white college is to question, at one point or another, whether you truly belong there. Far from their neighborhoods and cultural roots, students of color typically build their own affinity communities, such as Vassar’s Black Student Union and the Latinx Student Union. Affinity spac-
Courtesy of Amy Goss-Minch
o Pi’erre, you wanna come out here?” Renowned record producer, rapper and songwriter Pi’erre Bourne is set to take the Vogelstein quad stage for Vassar’s annual Welcome Back Concert, which takes place this Friday, Sept. 13. Bourne is best known for producing Playboi Carti’s breakout single “Magnolia,” along with his collaborations with rappers such as Kanye West, 21 Savage, Lil Yachty, DaBaby and Lil Uzi Vert. Bourne’s performance is hosted by Vassar College Entertainment (ViCE), which also organizes Vassar’s yearly spring concert. In an email correspondence, ViCE Co-President Dane Marshall ’20 expressed his excitement about the event. “In my opinion, the current Vassar student body has not seen a performer on campus that has had so much influence on the sound of modern popular music...it’s a dream come true, ” he gushed. The Welcome Back Concert is a fun and inclusive way for students to come together, dance and acclimate back to campus each fall. Marshall explained, “The beginning of the year is always stressful with getting back into the rhythm of school and figuring out your schedule and your life and what not,
and I think the Welcome Back Concert Chicago “disco rap superstar” and is the perfect opportunity to release activist Ric Wilson will open the eveand destress and dance and have a ning at 7 p.m., playing tracks off of his great time!” 2018 EP “BANBA.”
Vassar’s annual fall concert acts as the first campus breakout event of the year. Tomoorw, Pi’erre will, in fact, be coming out here. The artist is best known for producing Playboi Carti’s “Magnolia.”
es on college campuses are more than just networks of shared identities and experiences—they are places of refuge. The ALANA (African American/Black, Latinx, Asian, Asian American and Native American) Center, a place dedicated to serving the interests of students of color on campus, has stood as a hub for ALANA organizations at VasSee ALANA on page 4
Disorientation rehashes campus controversies Aena Khan
Assistant News Editor
“R
efuse to see the university as a place of enlight-
enment.” So say the authors of this year’s Disorientation Guide—a student-authored pamphlet critiquing the college—which evocatively implores students to engage in a culture of dissonance: to “change everything” by “beginning any-
where,” in its own words. On Aug. 30, 2019, a group of Vassar students released the second installment of the Guide and publicized it with flyers taped around campus. A sheet printed black with a QR code linked students to the guide’s electronic form, a departure from its physical circulation last year. This year’s Disorientation See DISORIENTATION on page 3
Wage increase brings Golf pro shares VC course secrets allotment stagnation Jonah Frere-Holmes Reporter
Jessica Moss and Frankie Knuckles Senior Editors
D
Inside this issue
10
FEATURES
An analog reflection: Capturing moments changes them
F
11
his first 18-hole round. I googled it, and that is a very bad score. Thirty-five years later, as the professional of that very same course, he shot a 68. That same search informed me that’s a very, very good score. Myers’ hold over the Vassar golf course is unchallenged, and for good reason: Each year from 20062015 the Hudson Valley Magazine voted him the Best Golf ProfesSee GOLF on page 18
or Vassar students, the golf course next to the AFC and Walker Field House is not very meaningful. Marauding first-years have been known to lay their embroidered blankets on its grassy outskirts before putting on “Biking” and hugging each other for hours at a time, and drunken, high-speed shepherding of the geese that call the course home is an underappreciated pastime. By and large, however, Vassar students golf very little, and find sufficient alternatives on campus to satisfy their hunger for well-kept grassy surfaces on which to unwind. As a relative unknown, the golf course carries a mystifying aura, one that provokes questions like, “Do people golf at Vassar?” and “Wait, we have a golf course?” We do indeed have a golf course, and I embarked on a journey to pick the brain of its resident PGA Golf Professional and caretaker, Rhett Myers. I sought to clear up the foggy image of Vassar’s golf course: how Vassar ended up with the course, who is really in charge of it and Vassar owns the land on which the course is situated and leases it to a whether or not it will be replaced manager, who runs it with nearly complete autonomy. Long-time manager by a horde of solar panels in the Rhett Myers views the course as a fun-loving, family-friendly place.
FEATURES
Yvette Hu/ The Miscellany News
[The following article appears in the Opinions section.] uring Spring 2019, student workers rejoiced at the news that they could expect a raise. In a statement given to The Miscellany News, administrators indicated at the time that, although raising student wages presented budgetary concerns, they were committed to finding the necessary funds to bring the wage from $10 per hour up to the state minimum of $11.10. On Aug 27, a campus-wide email from Student Employment stalled celebrations. Titled “Wage increase reminder,” the email included a table with “guidelines” indicating that our hours per week would decrease. The College bases its wage and earnings math on 15 available work weeks per semester. The discerning eye and quick mathematical mind might notice a discrepancy between the number of suggested hours listed and the hours needed in order to reach the earnings allotment. Sticking with the 15 week assumption, a first-year working
seven hours per week would earn $1,165.50 per semester or $2,331 per year, coming up $69 shy of the earnings allotment. They would need to work 7.25 hours each week to get their allotment, or an additional 3.75 hours over the course of the semester. This discrepancy is largest for first-years, but each class year shows such a gap. Sophomores have a gap of $36. Upperclassmen, just $3. While even the discrepancy for first-years may seem negligible to an institution with a budget as large as Vassar’s, this amount could translate to a class’ worth of books. For sophomores, a semester’s worth of laundry (assuming that, unlike us, you do laundry every week). For upperclassmen like us, eh, not so much. But we like to look out for the little guy. Armed with basic arithmetic skills, we brought our findings to the College. To our qualms, they replied: “The average hours listed in the Student Employment Office memo are in fact averages, and not caps on a number of hours students can work.” And further, with parSee WAGE RATE on page 15
near future. Sitting across from me in the homey, brochure-laden reception room of the course, Myers explained in his curt but amiable tone that the first fundamental rule of golf is grip. The Vassar golf course opened in 1930, and in the past 60 years, has had only two managers. Myers, who took over the course in 2004, started playing golf at the tender age of nine. As a 12-year-old, he shot a 144 on
Students create a united green front against climate change
13 OPINION
Vassar’s derelict summer healthcare puts resident students at risk
The Miscellany News
Page 2
September 12, 2019
Best of The Brewer’s Table... The Miscellany News’ subsidiary online magazine at vclive.miscellanynews.org Editor-in-Chief Mack Liederman
Senior Editors
Frankie Knuckles Jessica Moss
Contributing Editors Isabel Braham Leah Cates Sasha Gopalakrishnan
Features Opinions Arts Sports Design Copy Social Media Photo Managing Emerita
Yvette Hu/The Miscellany News This summer, Photo Editor Yijia Hu ’22 traveled to Fujian Province to visit relatives she had never met before. In a photo story of her experience, she reflects: “I’m not sure calling my journey to Fujian a ‘search for my roots’ would be entirely accurate, honestly. After all, the things and people I encountered there were fresh, exotic and sometimes bizarre—far from familiar or intimately related to me.” To follow her full journey, visit The Brewer’s Table at vclive.miscellanynews.org!
The Miscellany News
Weekender_
12
13
September
Thursday
Muslim Cool: Race, Religion, and Hip Hop in the United States
5:00 p.m. | TH 203- Auditorium | Religion Dept.
September
Friday
Building Healthy Communities
11:30 a.m. | Villard Room | Presidents Office
Mandy Barrington
3:00 p.m. | TH 203- Auditorium | Drama Dept.
8:00 p.m. | SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.
Saturday
15
September
Students of Sobriety Group
Tennis (W) Scramble
Tennis (W) Scramble
Approximations of Impossibility
9:30 a.m. | RH 211 | AA Poughkeepsie
9:00 a.m. | Joss Tennis Courts | Athletics
Approximations of Impossibility
Assistant News Aena Khan Olivia Watson Assistant Arts Dean Kopitsky Taylor Stewart Assistant Humor Francisco Andrade Reporters Delila Ames Ariana Gravinese Jonah Frere-Holmes Tiana Headley Columnist Alex Barnard Copy Adelaide Backhus Anna Blake Samantha Cavagnolo Madeline Seibel Dean Amanda Herring Phoebe Jacoby Caitlin Patterson Mina Turunc Crossword Frank
Sunday
9:00 a.m. | Joss Tennis Courts | Athletics
10:00 a.m. | Palmer Gallery | Campus Activities
10:00 a.m. | Palmer Gallery | Campus Activities
Faculty Recital: Thomas Sauer, piano, performs J.S. Bach’s Goldberg Variations
Courtesy of Vassar College
Courtesy of Vassar Athletics
Come out and support Vassar women’s tennis this Saturday and Sunday in their matches.
Faculty & Guest Recital: Christopher Brellochs, Saxophone with Allison Brewster Franzetti and the New Hudson Saxophone Quartet
14
September
Duncan Aronson Jonas Trostle Abby Tarwater Teddy Chmyz Lilly Tipton Lucy Leonard Natalie Bober Yijia Hu Robert Pinataro Laurel Hennen Vigil
8:00 p.m. | SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.
Trek over to Skinner Hall this weekend to enjoy a faculty recital on Friday or Saturday!
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed. The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
September 12, 2019
NEWS
Page 3
Fewer hours in the G-spot leaves students unsatisfied Olivia Watson
Assistant News Editor
L
ate Night, a place where students sit sparingly in the cafeteria and enjoy warm mozzarella sticks, has become a popular hangout spot. According to Resident District Manager of Vassar’s dining service Bon Appetit, Steve Scardina, last year around 100 students on average visited Gordon Commons nightly between the hours of 12 a.m. and 1 a.m. to meet friends, study and enjoy the eponymous snacks. Late Night, which began at 9 p.m., originally allowed students to enjoy hot meals while hanging out in the Gordon Commons until as late as 1 a.m. While students enjoyed these extended hours, the work schedule required burdened Gordon Commons employees. Those assigned to the late shift could typically expect to leave around 2 a.m. In a recent email to the student body, Dean of the College Carlos Alamo Pastrana announced that, in order to create a better work/life balance for Gordon Commons employees, the Late Night hours will still begin at 9 p.m., but will be cut by two hours on weekdays and one hour on weekends for the 2019-2020 school year. Now, weekday Late Night provisions are available until 11 p.m., with the building closing at midnight, and weekend Late Night will serve food until 12 a.m., with the building closing at 1 a.m. Scardina described how management had been observing trends in Late Night since its inception in 2017, to see how they
could make slight changes that would minimally impact students. “The schedule should allow for a better work/life balance as they come in earlier in the afternoon and aren’t leaving at 2 a.m. The change didn’t cut hours or eliminate hours,” explained Scardina. A beloved Gordon Commons employee of 18 years, Precious Manning, who currently works the late-night shift at the Sweets station, is pleased she can return home earlier, and noted how these changes will allow employees to work without sacrificing their personal lives. “Some of [the employees] have younger children, and thought the hours were too late,” she said. “Sometimes I feel like I’m working too late at night, and then I’m not getting enough sleep. But, I still need the money so I need the work. Making this change is good.”
“We have to feed you guys, and we try our best.” Further, Manning expressed how ending the Late Night hours earlier will help during the winter months, as heavy snowfall often makes driving home late at night challenging. “When it snows, it’s really tough for us,” she said. “I drive, and then if the snow falls really hard, I can’t come to work. So I have to use sick time, because you’re not going
to come in if you can’t get home. With the earlier hours, it’s easier to get home.” “We have to feed you guys, and we try our best,” said Manning. Kenji Nikaido ’20, who worked at the Gordon Commons in September and October of last year, noted how this change benefits the employees and minimally impacts students. “The changes make sense from a shift standpoint and give flexibility with cleaning,” Nikaido indicated via email. By ending food prep at 11 p.m. or 12 a.m. and remaining open to students for an additional hour, employees gain the ability to start cleaning up the space earlier. Meanwhile, students can remain nestled in their booths almost as late as they did before. While many students sympathize with the employees, several students have also expressed frustration at the shortened Late Night hours. Self-described Late Night-er Noah Alpers ’22 brought up how just in his first week of classes he has missed having the Gordon Commons open until 1 a.m. “I respect their mission, but at the same time I have a terrible college sleep schedule and I end up feeling mildly irritated that I can’t get food at 12:30[a.m.],” Alpers said. “I felt the impact in that I’ve walked over to the Commons many times and it has been closed, but this change is for the greater good, so I will adjust.” However, Nikaido acknowledged that these new hours don’t dramatically impact students’ eating schedule.
“[O]ur slight inconvenience for a better life for all the Gordon Commons employees, including my ol’ Kiosk managers Brian and Precious? Priceless.” Nikaido said. “The hours are not that different, especially since you’ll still be able to stay until 12 a.m. or 1 a.m. and there’s a good chance food will be left out and drink machines/ ice cream will be around.”
“The schedule should allow for a better work/ life balance as they come in earlier in the afternoon and aren’t leaving at 2 a.m.” Other students understood shortening the weekday hours, but argued that the Gordon Commons should serve food until 1 a.m. on weekends, as that’s when students tend to stay out and crave late night stomach fillers. “It’s important to be fair to the workers, but I think them cutting [the hours] on the weekends, particularly Friday and Saturday, is problematic because that’s when it gets used a lot,” said Maya Pelletier ’22. “I think we as students need to make concessions around the weekdays, because we can get over that, but maybe if they had shortened the weekday hours and kept the weekend hours, that would be better.”
Anonymous authors disorient Vassar’s institutional history
“While we do apologize for any harm that was caused...the response was frankly ridiculous.” — Disorientation Guide author(s) This year’s guide included substantial revisions and additions, particularly to statements considered inflammatory around campus, including the oft-mentioned quote “slap a zionist <3.” The new introduction
features the following statement: “Vassar...is still an incredible place in many ways and most of us generally enjoy our time here.” Still, the writers maintain that, “while we do apologize for any harm that was caused...the response was frankly ridiculous.” As was acknowledged in The Miscellany News’ coverage of last year’s guide, pamphlets akin to the guide have appeared at peer institutions, such as Amherst College and the University of Pennsylvania. The writers of this year’s Disorientation Guide agreed to discuss the publication with The Miscellany News once more, again contingent on their maintained anonymity. The writers maintained that their reasons for releasing a new guide were based on the same frustrations presented in the previous one. In particular, they consider many issues raised in the guide to have been drowned out by the ensuing controversy surrounding it: “House teams justified this policing and censoring by alluding to the fact that firstyears may feel uncomfortable. Our response is: good! “The people affected by Vassar’s complicity in these oppressive systems do not have the liberty to choose whether or not to feel comfortable. We need to stop catering to white upper-class folks’ comfort and instead reveal what our initiation perpetuates and engage in critical analysis about what our roles as students are,” the authors explained. [Editor’s note: all house teams are required to remove all non-authorized posters]. When asked about what its specific critiques of the College could mean for conversations in the future, the authors of the guide commented, “[The critiques] are important because they all reveal the same things: Vassar perpetuates this idea that it is a progres-
Olivia Watson/The Miscellany News
DISORIENTATION continued from page 1 Guide marks the second consecutive year that an anonymous group of students has sought to spread information contrary to what the institution provides first-years during their Orientation Week—a goal explicitly stated in the guide’s introduction. Furthermore, its aim is to “to disrupt the narrative that Vassar is committed to being a ‘just, diverse, egalitarian and inclusive college community’” (Issuu, “Vassar Disorientation Guide,” 2019). Much like last year, the Disorientation Guide provides extensive critiques of Vassar, including its relationship with the Poughkeepsie community; views of Poughkeepsie evidence of burnout among students; the use of Wappinger people’s land to establish the College; a timeline of student activism on campus pertaining to environmental justice and the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement; and a discussion of Vassar’s relationships with the New York State Prison System.
Campus discomfort caused by the 2019 Disorientation Guide was a self-professed goal of its authors, in order to ignite conversations about institutional complicity. This year’s guide featured elaborations and amendments to last year’s version. sive, welcoming institution, while it simultaneously contributes to and benefits off of the oppressive systems...all students need to realize that Vassar is complicit in cementing the same racist, xenophobic ideology it says it stands against.” Administrators have not commented on the new edition of the Guide, with a note from President Bradley indicating that last year’s statements do not apply in this context, but student leaders have. In response to an email inquiry, VSA President Carlos Eduardo Espina ’20 wrote: “If any student has suggestions on how to improve the campus, I invite them to attend our weekly Senate meetings … If students cannot attend a
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
senate meeting, they can just email me with whatever they want to talk about ” The Disorientation Guide, in its two years of existence, has been cemented in the memory of the college’s student body as a polarizing work. After last year, various student groups released statements in response to it. William A. Jacobson, a conservative commentator whose 2017 on-campus lecture was met with fierce criticism from the student organization Healing to Action (H2A), wrote a response to a section in the 2018 edition critical of his appearance. The question remains as to whether the “tradition” will continue, or will it fade out as students, it seems, come to expect it.
NEWS
Page 4
September 12, 2019
New ALANA fellow discusses context, importance of role
victim. Both sales and profit forecasts had precipitously dropped, dragging with them record falls in investors’ confidence and, of course, employment offers (The New York Times, “Hiring Slowed in August, but Wage Gains Accelerated,” 09.06. 2019). The White House is planning to adopt a closed-door attitude towards asylum-seekers, tremendously setting back its 40-yearold program and nullifying the United States’ role as a haven for global refugees. Two approaches present themselves. The United States will either reduce refugee admissions by at least half—granting entry to around 10,000-15,000 people per year—and reserve most of the remaining spots for people from a few countries and special status groups; or disburden itself of admitting any refugees entirely, while still allowing the president to accept emergency cases. The news attracted disparaging reactions from both the media and within the program administration. On one end of the spectrum, President of Refugees International Eric Schwartz, in addition to some of the nation’s most prominent retired military officers, advocated for the United States to continue its forefront involvement in what Schwartz called “a time when the number of [vulnerable persons in need of protection] is at the highest level in recorded history” (The New York Times, “Trump Administration Considers a Drastic Cut in Refugees Allowed to Enter U.S.,” 09.06.2019). On the other end, Trump’s top immigration advisor and allies from the White House have pressed for deeper de-escalation. In the past 2 years, Stephen Miller has induced a 70 percent reduction of the refugee ceiling from its number at the end of former President Obama’s
administration to an unprecedentedly low 30,000 this year. Meanwhile, Secretary of Defense and newest voice in the annual debate over refugee admission Mark T. Esper has yet to take a stance on the matter. (NYT, “Cut in Refugees”). Around the world... From Sept. 1 to Sept.3, the category-five Hurricane Dorian devastated the Abaco islands with 185 mph sustained winds and sea surges rising to nearly 26 feet. Dorian has resulted in 20 confirmed deaths, most of which occurred in the Abaco islands. The storm then turned westward to Marsh Harbour, razing the Haitian-origin residential shantytowns of The Mudd and Pigeon Pea. Two hundred forty south of Dorian’s eye, the Bahamas’ most concentrated residential area and capital, Nassau, suffered island-wide blackouts and low-lying flooding, leaving more than 60,000 people in need of provisions and clean water. Forecasts and warnings of evacuation from low-lying areas largely went unadhered. Tearing shelters apart and flooding the hospital on Grand Bahama, the storm complicated both current and future evacuation and rescue attempts. El Niño’s waning effects since July capacitated Dorian’s formation. The tropical storm may be the onset of the Caribbean’s spiral of slow-moving tragedies—the latest consequence of warming surface water in the Atlantic and climate change in general (The Economist, “Slow-moving Hurricane Dorian devastates the northern Bahamas,” 09.05.2019). Just a few days before the anniversary of the terrorist attacks that spurred US occupation of Afghanistan, Trump has officially announced his cancellation of the peace meeting with Taliban leaders and Afghan
President Ashraf Ghani at Camp David, terminating negotiations that, after months, seemed to be nearing an end. According to Trump, the Taliban nullified their right and capacity to maintain peace talks after admitting to the Thursday suicide car bomb attack that killed 12 people in Kabul’s capital. The senior Trump administration official confirmed that Trump decided on the cancellation on Thursday but had reserved official announcement for Friday. On Friday, Afghan officials confirmed that Ghani, who is favored to win the Sept. 28 national election, postponed a planned meeting to Washington. The potential for future peace negotiations remains uncertain (The New York Times, “Trump Says He’s Called Off Negotiations With Taliban After Afghanistan Bombing,” 09.07.2019). Late Saturday, Sept. 7, Work and Pensions Secretary Amber Rudd resigned from both Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s cabinet and the Conservative Party without prior notice. Rudd’s farewell was nothing short of sour, explicitly denouncing the current purging of 21 moderate Tories in the past week as “an assault on decency and democracy” and criticizing the Prime Minister’s Brexit policy as “insincere” (The Economist, “Amber Rudd quits the cabinet and the Tory party. Who’s next?,” 09.08.2019). This bitter split exacerbated Johnson’s streak of losses: of the Parliament majority, Brexit strategy control and the support from his own brother–who had quit his position as a junior minister and Tory MP. The Prime Minister’s campaign still seemed to retain public support, yet the duration of his coming tempests, and the results of such mishaps, remain tentative (The Economist).
Yvette Hu/The Miscellany News
EPI’s Qualitative Research and Curriculum Engagement Fellow, currently filled by Henry Molina ’19. “[Molina] will contribute a lot to EPI’s understanding of what the existing needs are for students of color and other vulnerable students, and how EPI might be more impactful as we move into the final years of the grant,” Swift explained.
dice Lowe Swift, shared in an email statement. In pursuit of this vision, the Fellow is tasked with the creation and execution of programming that centers around African American/Black, Latinx, Asian, Asian American and Native American communities, on and off campus. Such programming includes the ALANA Festival, First-Year Social and Leadership Retreat. The Fellow’s day-to-day entails managing the availability of the center’s community and conference rooms for ALANA organizations’ meetings and events. The majority of interactions between the Fellow and ALANA leaders are this room-booking process. “It was very relieving to have a go-to person to ask questions, whether it was about book-
ing rooms or to help facilitate more difficult conversations that were out of my scope as a student leader,” noted the previous president of the Asian Student Alliance and current Senior Class President Heather Nguyen ’20. Created in collaboration with EPI, the position was founded by and previously funded in part by an $800,000 Mellon Foundation grant. The role is currently filled by Elaina Peterkin ’19 and is now funded by the college under the Administrative Fellows Program, a shift that EPI, the Dean of the College and the President’s Office discussed. The ALANA Administrative Fellow’s current institutional funding ensures its existence—for now—but its alleged discontinuation raised questions among students about how effective it has been in supporting the cultural life and community-building programming of students of color. For Nguyen, how to use the Fellow as a resource was once a mystery to her. “It took me a while to understand how to best utilize the role as a resource in my student organization,” she shared. But without the Fellow presence, leaders like Nguyen will lose a vital liaison between their organizations and the center. The Mellon grant was supposed to sustain EPI for only a nine semester period, beginning Fall 2017. Given their time and funding limitations, the initiative reassessed how resources could be allocated to another project that would better meet its goals of ensuring a feeling of belonging and thriving among all members of the Vassar community. “We never intended to fund a permanent college position; doing so is not even within our scope,” shared Swift. (Vassar Stories, “Fostering an Inclusive and Affirming Community,” 03.30.2017). This process resulted in the creation of
Rumors circulated last year that the EPI Endowed Fellow would no longer be a position on campus, despite the integral role it played at the ALANA Center. However, the position remains, albeit in a new capacity within the President’s Office, due to defunding. from page 1 sar. Within its walls is the office of the ALANA Administrative Fellow, who organizes events for students of color. But soon, this important position may disappear. During Spring 2019, word spread among the center’s frequents that its Administrative Fellow position would no longer be funded by the Engaged Pluralism Initiative (EPI), essentially marking the end of the position. The goal of the Fellow was originally defined by ALANA student leaders. “It represented an attempt to explore what vision students would have of inclusion and belonging if they were given almost full control and autonomy over how to express their vision on campus,” co-director of EPI and Associate Professor of Anthropology, Can-
l Roun a c i d lit
up
Po
ALANA continued
H a B ui National News... On Friday, Sept. 6, the U.S. Department of Labor reported that 130,000 jobs emerged in August with 25,000 temporary census workers added—employment statistics lower than analysts had predicted. The private sector demonstrated a fall in employment increases, in comparison to earlier in the year; only 96,000 jobs emerged over the month. Nevertheless, an imminent recession is unlikely. Despite the slowdown in job growth, wages and readmission among previously inactive job-seekers both rose at a steady pace, with average hourly earnings increasing by an unexpectedly high 0.4 percent. The unemployment rate has remained at a steady 3.7 percent, nearly the lowest it has been in 50 years, and the labor force participation rate rose to 63.2 percent from 63 percent. These signs all indicate a healthy labor market. According to Chief U.S. Financial Economist at Oxford Economics Kathy Bostjancic, August job gains reports, for 9 out of the past 10 years of economic recovery, have tended to harbor statistical bias, given the start of the academic year. Still, the already meager rate of growth is at further risk due to the ongoing trade war with China, where the U.S. manufacturing sector has served as the first
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
“We need to start at the person, not [just] as a student, leader, organization member or someone doing another activity.” Reflecting on her initial wish to be the new Fellow, Peterkin pointed to her desire to care for and advocate on behalf of students of color as individuals beyond their academic and extracurricular pursuits. “This campus can cause a lot of harm,” she shared. “To develop a practice of care, we need to start at the person, not [just] as a student, leader, organization member or someone doing another activity.” Administrative Fellow positions are yearlong positions, a time frame Peterkin believes is not enough to build strong ties with students of color. Though she is unsure of her plans beyond the fellowship, she hopes to create meaningful change in students’ lives in the meantime. “I want to build the center as a resource, not just for events and programming, but for other things beyond that,” she proclaimed. Peterkin is confident in the center’s ability to accomplish these goals. “With changes in leadership, it’s been hard to concretize them.”
September 12, 2019
NEWS
Page 5
First Year Gala fosters connections among students Janet Song
Guest Reporter
L
ast Thursday, Sept. 5, Vassar’s Business Club (VBC) and Career Development Office (CDO) held their second-ever First-Year Gala at the Villard Room. The Gala allowed first-years to meet with juniors and seniors who had received various job opportunities from Vassar’s career resources, and allowed upperclassmen to mentor and share advice with new students. The idea for the Gala started last year, when the VBC, Vassar Finance Club (VFC), CDO, and the Office of Alumnae/i Engagement (OAE) agreed to collaborate on an event that would allow students across classyears to network and share their experiences with those who have similar interests. “There’s a lot of talk about a ‘Vassar bubble’ among students at Vassar,” said former VBC Co-President John Mernacaj ‘19, “and one of the effects of that bubble is that it becomes very easy for excellent students and future leaders to put off thinking about all the incredible things they can do to effect change in the world until they’re about to exit their senior year.” This year’s Gala introduced VassarNet, an additional resource for student job-searches and networking opportunities for students to connect over careers, interests and identities. “[VassarNet] allows peer-to-peer mentoring in addition to letting students connect with
alumnae/i, parents, faculty and more,” said Associate Director of Alumnae/i Outreach and Partnerships Jannette Swanson. Mernacaj further explained how the FirstYear Gala serves to inspire first-year students to explore the exciting opportunities available to them outside of Vassar, and introduce them to Vassar’s resources.
“It only felt natural to have current students who are just getting back from their amazing internships [to] serve as mentors in this event and offer their guidance and experiences to help inform first-years.” “It only felt natural to have current students—seniors and juniors, in particular— who are just getting back from their amazing internships [to] serve as mentors in this event and offer their guidance and experiences to help inform first-years” said Mernacaj. “This serves an additional purpose: First-years can meet upper-class people early, facilitating
vertical relationships early on in the student body, as opposed to the traditional lateral relationships that are borne out of orientation and courses.” Adding to that, former Co-President Rebeca Muresan ‘19 stated, “We tend to host alumnae/i panels, but this event was special in that it afforded more intimacy: It’s easier for students to interact with other students than it is for students to interact with alums.” She also mentioned how this experience allows seniors to practice their public speaking skills, and become more effective communicators. The two shared fond memories of the first Gala. “Honestly, watching the room fill up made me and Rebeca feel both extremely excited and extremely relieved at the same time,” Mernacaj recalled. “I floated around the room to meet a bunch of the first-years and catch up with friends who had returned from their internships and had a great time chatting with all of them. But some of the memories beyond the Gala stick out—oftentimes I’d bump into someone and one of us would realize, ‘Wait, didn’t we meet at the Gala?’ In fact, a few folks who were at the Gala ended up joining the Vassar Business Club, which made all of us who organized the event really proud.” To plan this year’s Gala, various departments collaborated, “Rebeca and I worked closely with the other offices organizing over
the summer,” said Mernacaj. The CDO and OAE also spent the summer searching for mentors to recruit, by reaching out to every office that provided summer opportunities related to Vassar and requesting the names of students that had taken advantage of Vassar’s opportunities. “We reached out to a select number of these students first to invite them to be mentors to ensure that the wide range of Vassar-connected opportunities would be represented at the Gala,” Swanson explained. “Then after a few weeks, the invitation was extended to all seniors–if they felt they had participated in a meaningful summer experience over their time at Vassar and wanted to be a mentor they could sign up to do so. In both years approximately 70-80 students opted into this role!” Inside the Villard Room, first-years could visit tables representing different interests, such as visual arts or social justice, where juniors and seniors discussed how Vassar helped them gain summer opportunities and start their potential careers. “What makes the event unique is it really empowers students to be mentors to one another and it lets Vassar-connected summer experiences come to life a bit more than they might on paper or on a website,” Swanson concluded. “Our hope is it may inspire ongoing conversations, friendships and mentorship beyond the event.”
At this year’s Gala, first-year students met with senior peers to learn about some of their most rewarding career opportunities, and those offered by Vassar’s Dareer Development Office. According to organizers, the event highlighted the variety of disciplines Vassar students study, and how academic life translates into real world experiences. All photos courtesy of Sheldon Zhou
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
ARTS
Page 6
September 12, 2019
Instruments as sight and sound: One luthier’s craft Dean Kopitsky
pany on a bit of a whim. As he tells it on his website, he was teaching and producing he rich texture of checking on mahogwood art and instruments near Bethlehem, any, the smoothness of a maple grain PA in the early ’70s. One day while driving finish, the fractal shimmer of pearl inlays, on Route 22, an ad for Martin guitar factory the rich blacks of ebony binding. Although tours caught his eye. He pulled off the road these intricacies are not essential to sound, for what became a 40-year detour. they are what distinguishes the world’s finBoak was impressed with the craftsmanest guitars. ship he saw at the factory, but what really It’s no secret that guitarists want an incaused him to hang around was the smorstrument that not only sounds good, but gasbord of choice wood laying for the taklooks good, too. Dick Boak, whose art and ing in the dumpster behind the factory. He instruments are on display in the Palmer would take the excess wood back to his gallery this month, has made the pursuit of home in Bethlehem and craft his “boakstruartfulness and tone his life’s work. ments,” musical oddities like mandolin-guiBoak worked at Martin Guitars, venerattar mock-ups and Appalachian Dulcimers. ed American manufacturer of acoustic guiWhen his dumpster-diving caught the attars since the 19th century. But his career tention of a factory worker, he showed off wasn’t always about guitars. As a student at his creations. A job offer immediately folGettysburg College in the late ’60s, he dablowed. bled in performance art and even geodesic Once Boak got the employee discount dome building. He ventured out west, lived on the free wood from Martin, he lavon an art commune and became engrossed ished his own instruments with an array of in illustration. Those adventures informed woods. One bass he made early in his tenthe illustrations, portraits and guitars on ure demonstrates his taste for variety. On the bass, comprised of 127 pieces of wood from 27 species, the cut-away protrudes like an ax handle, shaping the contours of the offset body. The color of the bass itself alternates between light tan and dark brown with darker stripes bundled tightly towards the center. A six-string from 1978 has the similar offset silhouette of the bass, with a cut-away from the body that enables the player to reach notes on higher frets. Two-toned rosewood and mahogany stripes run parallel down the middle, surrounding the maple. It recalls ’70s station-wagon wood paneling vibes, in a sleek and sloping way. His instruments are beautiful but sturdy, not meant for the stage but a screened-in porch somewhere in the Catskills. Boak’s art away from guitars is deeply focused on nature, but his background in mechanical illustration informs his continuing experimentation with symmetry. In an “Approximations of Impossibility” is on display through Sep. 15 in the Palmer Gallery. email interview, Boak explained that nature It displays the pen and ink illustrations and protoype guitars of Dick Boak, the former is a point of religious veneration: “I hold a manager of the Museum and Historic Archives for the Martin Guitar Company. deep respect for animals and plants and the Assistant Arts Editor
T
display in “Approximations of Impossibility.” The Palmer held a reception for the exhibit last Thursday. For the Vassar students, Poughkeepsiens, and professors that attended, the event was a little more star powered than they bargained for: Boak’s friends Steve Miller and John Sebastion visited. “It was deeply personal,” said attendee Iliana Rose ’21. “Dick was giving me lessons, I was singing along with John Sebastion. Even though you had these big names in and rock, It was a beautiful meshing of art, music, and friendship… It was an intimate look into his life.” Miller and Sebastion both picked up guitars, and the attendees got an impromptu concert from some of the 60’s most iconic artists. Aimes Stevens ’22 was one of the lucky concert attendees. “The rhythms of the two guitarists were really cool, like they were both soloing along with each other. I had never really heard acoustic guitar like that.” Boak joined the Nazareth, PA-based com-
Yvette Hu / The Miscellany News
physics of our existence in the universe… so in my early illustration, I kept mankind out of my work, instead preserving a natural purity.” At first glance, Boak’s illustrations are psychedelic and free-flowing. A closer look reveals that their surreal effect is produced by tightly repeating patterns and lines. In a few illustrations he makes use of Yantras, a traditional Indian art form that repeats geometric patterns. In Boak’s work, they create forms that seem like they could refract indefinitely. While humans are not the primary focus of Boak’s illustrations, “Approximations of Impossibility” showcases some truly striking portraits. A portrait called “The Gangster of Love” depicts his friend Steve Miller, of the Steve Miller Band, of course. Boak draws Miller in a perfectly candid moment, his face cracks a warm smile as he picks a guitar. A fedora caps his curly hair and a cigar dangles loosely from his mouth. Most of the other portraits give the same effect. One especially cool portrait is of Canadian artist Ed Bartram. Boak was struck by the way Bartram captured rock formations in open water. The portrait appears normal until you see Bortram’s shirt, which is woven with mellow waves and lichen covered rocks. Boak’s subjects are vibrant and animated, expressing his subject’s passion and vibrance using only a black pen. Often, artists distinguish themselves through tone, with electric instruments that come with distortion pedals. But for acoustic instruments, a distinct sound comes by collaboration between the musician and the luthier. Tone derives from the organic elements of the wood. Boak described this process, “In my case, the challenge was finding the optimum guitar size, woods, neck shape, ornamentation and price point for each artist’s unique musical style.” The prototypical art exhibit conveys a theme or a period. “Approximations of Impossibility” is not a typical art exhibit. It displays a career characterized by detours and experimentation, but relentlessly grounded in technical mastery.
On ‘Infest The Rats’ Nest,’ King Gizzard masters metal Alex Barnard Columnist
N
ot long ago, I reviewed a new single, “Planet B,” from Australian psychedelic rock band King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard. At the time I said, “[I]f this single is any indication of the band’s future plans, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard’s second album for 2019 might just be the best metal album of the year.” Well, King Gizzard not only managed to deliver one of the best metal albums of the year with their latest record, “Infest the Rats’ Nest,” but also one of the strongest releases from any band so far this year. Clocking in at just under 35 minutes, “Infest the Rats’ Nest” is a masterpiece, blending the diverse genres of thrash and doom metal with garage and psychedelic rock. For those who haven’t experienced the sonic journey that is this band, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard is a seven-piece group consisting of Melbourne natives Stu Mackenzie on lead vocals and guitar, Ambrose Kenny-Smith on keyboards and vocals, Cook Craig and Joey Walker on guitar, Lucas Skinner on bass, and Michael Cavanagh and Eric Moore on drums—yes, two drummers. Throughout the band’s decade-long career, King Gizzard has been known for taking risks and experimenting
with new sounds to keep each album fresh. Across 12 albums, King Gizzard has experimented with such vastly different styles as folk, progressive rock, jazz, microtonal music, bluegrass and now (finally), metal. It is safe to say that King Gizzard is releasing some of the most artistically creative music in modern rock. “Infest the Rats’ Nest” is no different. Like many of King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard’s releases, this album has a guiding concept. Also like many of the band’s other releases, the concept is incredibly dark. Picture this: The Earth is a dying planet, thanks to climate change. The rich have colonized Mars, while the poor and middle classes continue to suffer on a planet filled with people that are harvesting organs, and where a super-virus is starting to slowly extinguish all life on the planet. So, the common people decide to construct a rocket and use it to colonize Venus, only to burn alive in the planet’s 800°F atmosphere and go to hell. Intense, isn’t it? The accompanying music that describes this chaos is just as bizarre. “Infest the Rats’ Nest” begins with the first single that was released in anticipation of the album, “Planet B” (please read my earlier review for more information about the song). We then transition into a pulsing, groovy track
called “Mars For the Rich.” With its classic metal-inspired riff and hooky chorus, the song is a banger through and through. Next up is “Organ Farmer,” a two-minute freight train of a track with thumping blast beats and rhythmically technical guitar riffs that could give “Master of Puppets” by Metallica a run for its money. “Superbug,” the slowest song on the album, follows; it is a six-minute dirge about a super-virus that cannot be eradicated by antibiotics. The second half of this record focuses on the exploits of Earth’s hopeful yet doomed ordinary people and their quest to colonize Venus. “Venusian 1” describes their initial journey, ending with a line that references the earlier track “Planet B” (“There is one Planet V.”) Following this track is the catchiest song on the album, “Perihelion.” With its haunting chorus and pounding guitar riff, the song almost reminds me of something the band Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats would write. “Venusian 2” describes the initial approach towards Venus, while “Self-Immolate,” which the band released as the second single for this album, describes the awful death of intrepid amateur astronauts as they burn alive in Venus’ atmosphere. King Gizzard pummels the listener with blisteringly fast drums and guitars, all while Stu sings about lusting for
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
volcanoes, making the song quite the trip to listen to. Finally, the album closes with “Hell,” where the explorers land in the underworld. At this point, Satan directs the explorers towards “the rats’ nest,” a metaphor for Mars. At the end of the album, the humans that died in Venus’ atmosphere come back from the dead to attack the rich on Mars, hence the titular phrase, “infest the rats’ nest.” Each of the songs includes at least one lyric that instantly became ingrained in my memory (this never happens to me, as I tend to remember the melodies in a song more easily than the lyrics). Whether it’s a phrase as simple as “Blood minestrone,” or the lyric “Fifteen infantry paratroop into the propylene new scene/Hell’s where they want to be,” or perhaps my favorite line on the whole album, “Outside it will bring you death/Just make sure you hold your breath,” the band’s lyric writing is one of the strongest elements on this record. This album is a fantastic addition to King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard’s already incredible discography. Let’s hope that King Gizzard continues to thrive and make a name for themselves as innovators in the rock genre, and that there never comes a day when kids describe the band as “dadrock.”
ARTS
September 12, 2019
Page 7
Alt-manga artist illustrates beauty of the grotesque Taylor Stewart
Assistant Arts Editor
W
hen I sat down with the comic illustrator Suzy Amakane, the first thing he did was pull a postcard out of his backpack and contemplate being blacklisted by Disney. On the postcard was a remake of Roy Lichtenstein’s first remake, his first pop art painting, “Look Mickey.” While the original shows Donald Duck hooking his own coattails on a fishing pole, Amakane switches the roles. In his painting, Mickey snags himself with the pole while Donald snickers behind him (I think, but wouldn’t Mickey feel a hook
Courtesy of Suzy Amakane Suzy Amakane is a comic illustrator and painter in Japan’s punk/alternative art scene. He’s known for his “heta-uma” style.
in his bottom?). The scene is from a Tokyo exhibition he did in 2008 about pop art parodies. Only a skilled satirist parodies parody—but, as Amakane admires Lichtenstein, he does so respectfully, even reverently. He laughed that, since he does a lot of commercial work, he has killed his chances of ever collaborating with Disney. Amakane is no stranger to rejection. He was turned away by magazines for his thick brushstrokes early in his career; his spoofy, bizarre and raunchy images could offend or unsettle. But Amakane knows this when he paints. The weird, grotesque or perverse art of his idols are similarly self-aware, drawing tens of thousands of admirers. I met him at a chocolate store to talk about his art. He brought a little black backpack. He pulled an impossible number of artifacts: after the postcard, a thick, tattered manga book called “A Salaried Man” he made in college (his sotsusei, or senior project), then an issue of “Takarajima” (his big break), then “NURI-COMIX,” a manga collection released much later in his career (a retrospective). In the 1980s, Amakane created nuri comic, which resembles traditional manga in the form of a painted strip, allowing us to see the strokes, the physical work of illustration. He described the approach as analog. “Analog has a human essence,” he said, “and that essence comes out naturally when I paint.” Amakane approaches his own art with a muffled laugh, or maybe it’s a snort, or a big laugh. The chocolate store was fancy; there were French chocolate-making diplomas on the wall and the coffee came with macarons (macarons!). I expected a man as self-important as our meeting place. His “analog” approach—hand-painting most of the strips—is labor. He showed me one painting I thought
was digital because it looked like a pixelated screen. He painstakingly painted each little square. Regardless, he reminded me that it’s actually all for fun, and praised other artists like Lichtenstein, King Terry, Takashi Nemoto, Gary Panter and Keith Haring. Amakane didn’t hesitate to beat himself up or show boyish reverence for his idols, which stunned me a little. His list of clientele is long and varied, but even his colorful, caustic commercial works betray more confidence and assurance than I saw in the man himself. Despite the great pains he takes in his work and his extensive knowledge of pop culture , he remains reverent, always an admirer. Despite his expertise, he described himself in art school as a “haguremono,” a stray. Then in the middle of his college career, the heta-uma movement was born. Little Amakane breathed a sigh of relief. This could be an option; this could be his calling. Heta-uma means “bad-good,” or “unskilled-skilled.” People say Teruhiko Yumura, alias King Terry, created the heta-uma style. With his scrawling lines, crude collage and erotic tastes, he made something more subversive than pop art in England and the United States. He not only parodied popular culture, but also broke artistic rules of conduct; Western pop artists like Roy Lichtenstein and Andy Warhol had polish, but Amakane didn’t concern himself with traditional drawing conventions. He illustrated for “Garo,” an alternative manga anthology magazine, which is defunct but now the stuff of legend among manga fans, disseminated on Internet threads. “Garo” boomed in the late 1970s and early 1980s, coeval with, or even reason for, the emergence of heta-uma. But, as Amakane said, there are many different types of heta-uma. Although King Terry’s “Garo” covers
originated the modern type and the name “bad-good,” purposeful perversity in art dates back centuries, to medieval Zen paintings that are laughably ugly. Prettiness or pleasantness does not make for the beauty of an artwork. The beautiful thing, or the repulsive thing, about an artwork is its self-assuredness, or lack thereof. How confident is the piece? How forceful is the presence of the artist and, in turn, the humanity of the piece? If every stroke or line or pixel seems a conscious choice, the work is captivating—even the disorder of Pollockian paintings seems purposeful. Even if a piece looks disordered, bizarre or disgusting, it is nice to look at as long as it seems self-aware. Everyone knows King Terry’s beach erotica, the “Garo” cover of an octopus with wavering lines. Takashi Nemoto’s drawings are gross. The subject matter is not pleasant, nor is the illustration traditionally good, but their art is so confident and forceful it suggests that they know it. They transfer ideas onto a surface with resolve and a cool head. This amazes me—and Amakane, too. He told me about a “Garo” manga by King Terry and Shigesato Itoi back in the boom era, when he was in college: “I thought it was astounding. It was different from other manga up to that point. I looked forward to it every issue. Totally different from regular manga.” Every time Amakane showed me his work, I was taken aback by his skill; his reverence for others reminded me that he is a person. It was the goal of the heta-uma artists to resist the polish of most (accepted) art, cultivating soul and humanity in their pieces. Amakane adds humanity through hand-painted “analog” comics, as well as his seething satire and and, of course, his humility. When I bid him goodbye, he was buying his wife chocolates.
Kusama exhibit prompts critique of mental health culture XinRui Ong
Guest Columnist
I
Courtesy of XinRui Ong
f you turn to any side of Yayoi Kusama’s Shanghai exhibit “All About Love Speaks Forever,” you’ll see your reflection repeated infinitely in the form of a curved line glancing back at you. The flickering lights change colors rapidly, blurring your sense of space. Stay in the room long enough, and you’ll forget which reflection is the real you. “All About Love Speaks Forever” transports the viewer to a world of wild colors and larger-than-life sculptures of pumpkin flowers. Kusama, a Japanese artist known for her polka dot themes, allows her audience to step into her mind through the immersive mirrored walls and orange and black dot-filled environments that compose her exhibit. These repetitive images convey the self-obliteration she experiences from her mental illness, specifically her hallucinations. While Kusama uses art as a coping mechanism, it is important to note that her creativity is not a direct result of her mental illness. It is often falsely parsed out as a causal relationship—Kusama is only able to create art because she is mentally ill. While it is true that Kusama’s obsessive compulsions and hallucinations are reflected in her artwork, it’s the courage and vision it takes to narrate these sensations through art that makes her noteworthy. She once wrote, “I fight pain, anxiety and fear every day, and the only method I have found that relieves my illness is to keep creating art” (New York Magazine, “The Art of the Flame-Out,” 07.06.2012). Kusama relies on art as therapy, or “art medicine,”
as she calls it. Her powerful, visionary conveyance of these feelings is what truly deserves recognition, and not her mental illnesses. I first acknowledged the flawed public perception of Kasuma’s art during a conversation with my mother. She wondered aloud to me: How did Kasuma stare motionlessly at pumpkins growing? How did she find emotional connections with meaningless, repetitive dots? I answered, without thought, “I guess because she’s crazy.” Almost immediately, I wanted to swallow my words. Without meaning to, almost unconsciously, I credited the work to the illness of the creator rather than her artistry. Kusama is declared a genius in the art world because of her bizarre manifestations of powerful and unsettling emotions. The popularity of Kusama’s work has the potential to glorify her illness, which would conceal the truly detrimental consequences of mental distress. Before coming to Vassar, I neither received mental health education in my school curriculum, nor did my parents discuss it with me. Words such as “retarded” were used in half-hearted mockery, completely ignoring the reality of these conditions. The media’s portrayals of mental illnesses—in images of laughing serial killers, or people catatonically gawking at blank walls—reinforce these bigoted views. I’ve noticed mental distress is often perceived to be much more malicious than it actually is. For example, I’ve heard people gossip about a visit to a counselor’s office as if it is some unspeakable tragedy. I only
Yayoi Kusama is an acclaimed contemporary Japanese painter and sculptor known for her repetitive imagery and polka-dotted installations. Kusama uses art as a coping mechanism for her anxiety, obsessive compulsions and hallucinations. realized that anxiety and panic disorders are common occurrences after coming to Vassar, where people freely share their emotions while emphasizing the importance of self-care. If it wasn’t for the mental health education I received at Vassar, I would still be very confused about how to care for my own mental health or how to help others around me—and I would definitely be embarrassed to admit my vulnerabilities and seek help. This change in my viewpoint demonstrates how crucial education is. Many other sensitive topics, such as sexual health and freedom of expression, are not yet
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
embraced as a fundamental component of education in many parts of the world, including where I grew up. I do see progress in how these issues are approached—but at home, while I eagerly downloaded an app that provided a more accessible means to mental support, I noticed that Durex advertisements were being taken down in the halls of a subway station. But while some oppose our changing culture, it is nonetheless exciting for me to see mental health discussions happening in public spaces such as in Kusama’s art exhibit—conversations such as these go a long way in destigmatizing taboo topics.
ARTS
Page 8
September 12, 2019
Chance the Rapper sells his first CD—and marriage Abby Tarwater Arts Editor
“I
’m getting this crazy feeling that people want me to kill myself,” tweeted Chance the Rapper on Aug. 5 (“Chance The Rapper Thinks People Want Him To Kill Himself,” HipHopDX, 08.05.2019). The tweet seemed out of character for Chance, whose infectious positivity has earned him an expansive and eclectic fanbase. He then clarified, “That’s not my vibe at all, but I feel the push. And I feel like even more than that, some people want me to feel ashamed. Shame is heavy yo. And feeling shame for something that you were once prideful about is super heavy.” Chance’s debut album, “The Big Day,” has received considerable flak since its July 26 release. He is clearly taking it personally. Music journalists gave the project mostly positive reviews upon its release, but it was also the subject of scathing derision by YouTube critics and countless internet memes. Perhaps the most popular joke about the album came from Twitter user @ charliewinsmore’s video parody of the rapper’s grating vocals and juvenile lyricism, in which he croons, “Oh I love my wife, I love my wife (igh!)/Let’s go ride a bike with my wife (igh!).” Sure, the video is a comically exaggerated spoof of Chance, but it’s not far off—when I first saw a YouTube comment referencing the meme, I was genuinely unsure if it was a joke or an actual lyric on “The Big Day.” I mean, after Chance, a once strikingly poetic writer, released an album with lyrics as ludicrous as “Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat/Peanut butter jelly with a peanut butter jelly” and “Hey there, lovely sister/Won’t you come home to your mister?/I’ve got plans to hug and kiss ya/ I’ve got plans to hug and hug and hug you,” my expectations for him became practically nonexistent. After the “Oh I love my wife” spoof, Chance loving his wife then became a meme
in itself, for good reason: His marriage to longtime partner Kristen Korley is undoubtedly the unifying theme of the record, with her being mentioned on nearly every single track. At first, it appeared Chance was in on the joke, tweeting “I love my wife igh” on July 31. But it was soon evident that the gibe got under his skin. He ended his dejected Twitter rant with the declaration, “And the number one thing thats [sic] been reaffirmed in the last week that I’m now 100% sure of is… That I LOVE my wife.” Chance laments the unpopularity of marriage throughout “The Big Day,” asserting on “Big Fish” that “They don’t sell marriage no more.” He acts as if embracing marriage in an age of declining wedlock rates is revolutionary. His tweets suggest that he believes “The Big Day” received lukewarm reception as not a result not of the project’s mediocrity, but rather because the public is unwilling to welcome a rapper with a giddy adoration of his wife and family. Of course, Chance’s defensiveness toward his relationship is complete nonsense. For one, Chance is exaggerating the unpopularity of marriage; while increasingly fewer couples are choosing to do so, getting married is far from a rebellious act, even within the world of rap. But more importantly, the artist has successfully championed controversial ideas in the past. While his early mixtapes “10 Day” and “Acid Rap” garnered a cult following, it was his exuberant 2016 release “Coloring Book” that made him a household name. And the record’s lyrics centered around one of the most contentious topics both in rap spheres and beyond: religion. “Coloring Book” reformed the abhorred genre of gospel rap more than any rapper since Kanye’s “Jesus Walks,” with Chance’s explosive charisma, wit and energy making Christianity seem as thrilling as drugs and violence. “Coloring Book” is teeming with zeal about a stodgy topic, just like he is on “The Big Day,” with, of course,
a notable difference. On “Coloring Book,” Chance interrogates his relationship with his faith in relation to Chicago’s violence on “Summer Friends” and “Angels”; the Black Lives Matter movement on “Blessings”; and African American history on “How Great.” “The Big Day” has myriad flaws—inconsistent tone, overlong run time, superfluous features, irritating vocals, poor production—but none are as glaring as Chance’s lack of introspection about being a husband and father. Despite its many blunders, “The Big Day” is not without highlights. “Do You Remember” featuring Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie is a poignant illustration of Chance’s nostalgia for the languid, simple summers of his youth, a theme he explored in the past on “Summer Friends” and “Paranoia.” Another topical highlight comes on “5 Year Plan”; while its lyrics, production and vocals leave much to be desired, the track still features thoughtful musings on materialism, drug use and spirituality. Chance’s ideas about marriage, however, are shockingly simplistic. “I Got You (Always and Forever)” is my favorite song on the record, largely due to a phenomenal guest performance by Ari Lennox, but the track’s splendid ’90s-inspired groove is bogged down considerably by Chance’s obnoxious and weak bars. The verses about his wife are hollow and nearly nonsensical; for example, “It’s been a minute, I’ve been messin’ with ya, I could never switch up/Turn my life around, I’m tryna go to Heaven with ya/I would sit there in the waiting room together with ya/Magazines, pat my jeans, have a beverage with ya/Count my blessings with ya.” Chance seems to be rapping with a desperation to fill the record’s sprawling 77 minute runtime. All the contentions about his love for his wife and her beauty considered, he does not manage to say one thing of substance about her. Marriage is less popular than ever in the U.S. for many reasons—the institution’s pa-
triarchal history, the decreasing influence of religion, high divorce rates, increased education for women, increased access to contraceptives, rising student loan debt and escalating housing costs, just to name a few (“Why are fewer people getting married?,” The Conversation, 06.01.2016). Chance bemoans this cultural shift, yet simply chides his generation’s lack of morality rather than considering critiques of tradition. Even worse, he fails to reflect upon basic pressures that come with marriage, such as how it has changed his relationship with his wife, or potentially triggered insecurities. Though still deeply flawed, “The Big Day” would be infinitely more fascinating if he showcased these vulnerabilities to inject reality into his newfound elation. The Big Day is not nearly horrendous enough for me to lose faith in Chance’s artistic merit entirely—he is only 26, after all. What I’m more concerned about is his inability to accept criticism. Chance’s defensiveness, unfortunately, is a long-running pattern throughout his career. In June, he repeatedly told a fan who disliked his new music to “eat a dick” on Twitter (“Chance the Rapper Roasts Fan Who Says His New Music Is Bad,” XXL, 06.13.2019). In 2017, he successfully pressured MTV to remove a negative review of one of his concerts (“Chance the Rapper Got MTV News to Remove a Critical Concert Review,” Vulture, 06.30.2017). It’s understandable why the artist is sensitive to critique, but his fans clearly adore seeing him happy—it’s the cornerstone of his persona and appeal. So no, Chance, your listeners aren’t panning “The Big Day” because they dislike seeing you happy or because they disapprove of your wife. None of them want you to kill yourself. They just know you can do better. This article appears online in The Miscellany News’ new subsidiary magazine, “The Brewer’s Table” at vclive.miscellanynews. org.
Clairo proves herself relatable, authentic female icon Delila Ames Reporter
I
harmonies and root for Cottrill. Simultane- to end—no skips. Her words are self-aware ously buoyant and chill, “Softly” is a hazy, and vulnerable, making it easy to lose yourromantic number where she declares: “And I self amidst the dreamy haze. don’t care what they say.” Cottrill further explores her sexuality on “Bags,” which has already racked up over 3.7 million Spotify streams. She pairs allusions to Joni Mitchell’s “A Case of You” (“Pour your glass of wine/Mitchell told me I should be just fine”) with vulnerable truths (“Know you’d make fun of me.”) “Bags” is chock full of brilliant references that require close listening as well as heartfelt fears of rejection. Delicate and raw, tracks like “Impossible” and “White Flag” contrast the more bouncy tunes with tangible unease and more dissonant harmonies. Minimal makeup, pink hair, a nose ring and various tattoos complete Cottrill’s angsty teen uniform—it’s authentic. She presents herself as a normal teenage girl who is shocked by her viral stardom but grateful for the audience it provides for her, allowing her to share more of herself. Cottrill has tapped into a market that is hungry for a relatable female icon. The world is watching and listening as she navigates her adolescence and sexuality. “Immunity” is filled with teenage heartbreak, remorse and lust. Each song is noteworthy and different, but all possess the same ethereal quality. From its soft, poetic beginning, the album builds in emotional and son- Singer-songwiter Claire Cottrill, known ic intensity. Cottrill has created one of those better by her stage name Clairo, released rare albums that you listen to from beginning her recent album, “Immunity,” on Aug. 2.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Courtesy of Justin Higuchi
n 2017, 21-year-old Claire Cottrill, better known as Clairo, uploaded a lo-fi music video for her bedroom pop song “Pretty Girl,” in which she dons headphones, switches outfits and lip-syncs in her room on her computer’s camera. That video now has over 39 million views, making it the first of several viral hits for Cottrill, such as “4EVER” and “Flamin Hot Cheetos.” Clairo’s debut album, “Immunity,” successfully proves that her talents do, in fact, extend beyond her bedroom. The record was co-produced by former Vampire Weekend member Rostam Batmanglij and Cottrill herself. “Immunity” is a restrained, charming love story to lonely teenagerdom, as well as an exploration of Clairo’s sexuality. Cottrill’s dreamy, faded vocals pair well with the fuzzy backgrounds and distorted guitar samples. Her angst and heartache are painfully relatable, and the accessibility of her subject matter draws a youthful and passionate fan base. A personal vision that she brought to life with minimal help, “Immunity” is at once familiar and unique. With tones of R&B and ’80s/’90s pop threaded throughout, Cottrill adds her own flavor with her pensive lyrics and husky tone. She even features children’s choirs in more than one track, most notably in “I Wouldn’t Ask You.” Although they’re honest and elegant, her lyrics can be difficult to decipher above the fuzz of the music. Her hushed tones make the listener feel like
her words are intimate and personal, but you may miss some of her genius due to their inaudibility. There is a sense of unreachability in her words; she paradoxically comes across as both personal and withholding. Born in Carlisle, MA, the singer-songwriter attended Syracuse University before deciding to solely focus on pursuing her music career. She signed with the record label The Fader, as well as Chance the Rapper’s manager, Pat Corcoran. She promised a 12-track deal, and she delivered just that. Cottrill has been accused of being an “industry plant” because of her family connections and alleged bankroll. Critics say that Geoff Cottrill, a former Converse chief marketing officer, is responsible for Clairo’s success. They accuse the artist of cultivating a disingenuous, DIY persona that is nothing more than a marketing ploy. I’d like to give her more credit than that: She is clearly a talented songwriter and vocalist, and there isn’t that much evidence that her success has anything to do with her father’s industry ties. In this day and age, fame is a lottery. Cottrill has won. Featuring 11 songs with a variety of moods, “Immunity” is the perfect backdrop for both a picnic and a rainy day. “Sofia,” the most upbeat and vibrant track on the album, is a bouncy beat courtesy of Danielle Haim. A clear declaration of Cottrill’s bisexuality, “Sofia” features lyrics like “Sofia know that you and I/shouldn’t feel like a crime.” You can’t help but bop your head along to her breezy
September 12, 2019
ARTS
Campus Canvas A weekly space highlighting the creative pursuits of student-artists
Page 9 submit to misc@vassar.edu
Excuse me, If you could teach a class on anything, what would it be about?
“Procrastinating.” — Laura Yang ’21
“Horror movies.” —Justin Patch, Assistant Professor of Music (University of Minnesota ’99)
“Disabilities.” — Celia Gomez-Colon ’20
“Hobbit culture and customs.” — Carter Mucha ’23
“Intro to alternate history.” — Brandon Jones ’23
Megan Wang International Studies and French Majors she/her/hers Class of 2020 “I am a visual artist. Oil painting, film photography and collage are currently my favorite mediums. I am currently working on a series that emphasizes a common theme within my work: imagined landscapes.” MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
“Sith aesthetics.” — Annalise Jankel ’23
Francisco Andrade, Humor & Satire Yvette Hu, Photography
FEATURES
Page 10
September 12, 2019
Photographer develops film alongside sense of sentimental self Am Chunnananda Guest Columnist
A
Courtesy of Am Chunnanda
lthough junior and senior year of high school weren’t the greatest years of my life, I fondly look back at them through grainy, green-tinted photographs of silly moments and big milestones. Dramatically contrasted images of my closest friends remind me of the exclamations of unpleasantness that followed the violent, temporarily vision-splotching zaps of photographic flash I imposed upon them; slightly tilted views of the streets of Bangkok, my hometown, cast me back to passersby born in a generation (or two) before mine, asking, “Hey, is that really a disposable camera?”
ing, deep click of the shutter every time I advance the lever of my film camera and take a shot. I always get giddy whenever I rip open the paper sleeve and pore over the 4x6 sheet of thumbnails of my film scans, returned to me by a stranger from the photo developing store who got to re-experience my memories even before I did. In a video discussing her thoughts on social media use, YouTuber-filmmaker Ashley Rous, aka bestdressed, shares how she feels like she has FOMO for her own life. In a world where our identities often exist as and are hinged upon who we are online, where we spend countless hours curating feeds and matching themes, and where there is an unending pressure to
The vivid greens of Sunset Lake last spring were captured and accentuated by the writer’s SLR film camera. The film photography accentuates shades she didn’t recall seeing with her naked eye.
Courtesy of Am Chunnanda
Chunnananda’s friend stands in the summer sun among a mesh of buildings and wires in the small side streets of Koenji, Tokyo. The medium sharpens the contrast between dark and light pigments.
document and share everything that happens to us with the devices in our pockets at all times, it seems like we have come to care more about capturing those happenings and experiences, and preserving them for our future selves, rather than enjoying them for what they are, as they happen in the moment. Although I can imagine how resonant Ashley’s reflections might be to fellow Gen Z folk, her points strike me for how true they ring outside of the scope of social media. I don’t consider myself much of a social media user (I haven’t changed my Facebook profile picture since 2016), but I would call myself an avid documenter. I hold on to boxes upon boxes of paper memorabilia, and have a hard time parting with used post-its and even receipts whose ink has entirely rubbed off. In many ways, my collections of scribbled notes and unwritten postcards have served more as opportunities to re-access the past, rather than items I actively choose to keep for the present moment. And so perhaps my indulgence into the world of analog photography is unsurprising—it, too, creates and continually craves a nostalgia, except of a kind that never really existed. I didn’t grow up with disposable or film
ory. I know I find myself choosing what I capture a lot more carefully when I have a limited number of exposures. I’m compelled to make every shot count. I take time adjusting the aperture and shutter speed, reaching into the depths of my YouTube tutorial-watching and photography blog-reading memory banks as I flick the dials on the top-right of the camera. I practice patience while I wait for my memories to be processed, or try to, at least (I inevitably refresh my inbox by the hour after exactly two days have passed since dropping my film off at the development store). I cross my fingers and truly, deeply hope the photos don’t turn out with too much grain or crappy lighting, both of which would mean a more or less irreversible corrosion of my recorded past. Through all of that, it almost feels like a crime for me to deny that my film photos are just as (un)special as their digital equivalents. Although the nostalgic worlds they create may be fictitious, or at least imbued with a sentimentality that is arguably disingenuous (being merely a chemically-driven, socially-favored, digitally-replicable, subtle coloring effect), it preserves the things I capture by doing them justice in a way that would not be afforded by using my digital tools. Maybe so many of us are turning back to these outdated means because they offer us a more involved, powerful way to remember. And this is an almost irresistible offer, given how much our digital, online selves threaten to erase the specialness that is the experience of memory, while also living fully today.
Courtesy of Am Chunnanda
Although I was aware that I’d caught the “analog bug,” I guess I didn’t really expect it to stay. But here I am, typing up this article on the left side of my desk, with my single-lens reflex (SLR) 35mm film camera on my right. My back faces my gallery wall of film photos; my mini fridge, also behind me, stores multiple rolls of unused film, while my drawers contain film negatives— sleeves of transparent, dark brown strips of memories whose shapes and outlines you can only slightly see when you hold them up against the light. Wow. I’m becoming that film photography-obsessed person, I often groan to myself. My self-loathing isn’t completely unjustified, I don’t think; Instagram hashtags like #35mm and #filmisnotdead are brimming with literally millions of posts, and even massive pop culture icons like David Dobrik have hopped aboard the analog train (see @davidsdisposable, his account of over 2 million followers dedicated to just disposable camera photos). I recognize the fad film photography seems to be morphing itself into, and I’m aware of the pretentiousness the born-in-the-wrong era, old-time aesthetic can sometimes exude. But I can’t deny how much I still look forward to hearing the incredibly satisfy-
cameras; photos of my toddler self were taken with digital point-and-shoots, the resolutions of which would be laughable today. Digital photographs are immediately viewable, and often automatically stored in the Cloud. Film, on the other hand, fails to offer that instant gratification and effortless safekeeping, requiring instead an immense amount of patience while the photos get developed, and a decent amount of organization of both physical negatives and digital scans. And yet, I persist in lugging around my Canon A-1 and waiting for my memories to only be accessible after they undergo chemical processing. When they finally do, and are returned to me, they appear to be tinted with shades I don’t recall them having when I initially experienced them: slightly warmer skin tones, more vivid greens, muted pastel casts...nostalgia. Perhaps I, and many others in this era, are finding ourselves casting back to the analog world because it quite literally filters our memories with a more sentimental visual reality—one that tugs a little harder at our heartstrings, and makes what we captured feel a little more special and commemorative. The film ‘look’ must mean, or do, something; Huji Cam, an app that provides a filter reminiscent of film photographs, claiming to “[make] your moments as precious as the feelings of analog film with old memories,” boasts over 10,000,000 downloads on the Play Store alone. But perhaps we’re also drawn to analog because of how it re-routes our relationship to the experience of capturing mem-
Bangok’s buildings stand tall and tilted through the camera lens, their edges sharpened by the film aesthetic. Chunnananda’s antiquated camera caught the attention of an older passerby.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
September 12, 2019
FEATURES
Page 11
Locavore recounts city, family, personal food consciousness Tamika Whitenack Guest Columnist
M
Courtesy of Karen Crook
y eyes intensely scan the colorful bell peppers and sumptuous summer squash, searching for signs that indicate from whence these vegetables came. My mission on this grocery outing would be a tough one: Buy local food. Looking back on my upbringing, I realize that my ability to source food locally is rooted in my family. My parents cultivated my interest and modeled how to mindfully purchase produce. But after reading Michael Pollan’s “The Omnivore’s Dilemma” a year and a half ago, I became aware of the environmental implications of faraway food choices. Reducing the distance food travels from farm to consumer, “food miles,” cuts carbon emissions and combats the alarming, accelerating realities of climate change. Besides environmentally-conscious eaters, the locavore lifestyle attracts followers with various ideological motivations. In juxtaposition to major agribusinesses, local food attracts consumers via their associations with better labor practices, environmentally-friendly business operations, organic and non-GMO food and ethical treatment of livestock. Despite perceived benefits, adopting locavore eating habits can be difficult. For example, eating locally requires eating seasonally, and long, snowy winters may mean sparse options. Also, local food is often steeply priced. While I support neighborhood farmers, I acknowledge that my comfortably middle-class Californian household has eased my adoption of a more local diet. That being said, I would like to share several routes I have taken to enjoy locally grown food.
Through the Fully Belly Farm CSA, my family has paid a small farm for “veggie boxes” since I was in elementary school. Each Friday, I look forward to seeing, snacking on, and concocting recipes with seasonal surprises: fresh sweet peppers, cucumbers, basil and heirloom tomatoes. Farmers markets are another oft-traveled path to obtaining local nourishment. Some of my earliest memories are of browsing food stalls with my mother, sampling little pieces of sliced fruit or pointing at strange leafy vegetables. I love the atmosphere of farmers markets: each vendor displaying their bounty on a friendly table, curious shoppers mingling amongst each other, the sweet smell of fruit mixing with the earthy scents of vegetables and the aroma of freshly baked bread. Besides being a wonderful way to shop for local produce, farmers markets also allow shoppers to connect with the people who grow their food, adding a pleasant personal touch. Recent efforts by farmers markets, organizations and the government, like expanding the federally-funded Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), attempt to make nutritious food accessible to all people, regardless of budget. I had the incredible opportunity to volunteer at one such organization, The Free Farm Stand, over the summer. Every Sunday, they operate in San Francisco’s Mission District, providing lower-income families with high-quality, fresh produce donated from local farmers markets and from San Francisco’s own urban farm, Alemany Farm. Anyone could receive the greens as long as they queued. I handed out produce, attempting to fairly ration out chard and kale or delicately handle slightly overripe nectarines.
Local food can come from many sources, as near as a backyard garden or as traditional as a grocery store chain. Regardless of method, the burgeoning locovore aims to reduce “food miles.”
Hunger is frequently characterized as an issue of scarcity, but often there is plenty to go around. The Free Farm Stand’s efforts exemplify how we can improve our distribution systems in order to limit food waste, provide local, healthy food to hungry households and generously share the world’s plentiful harvests. The conventional grocery store can also be a destination for local food shopping. When I shop for groceries, I consider where my food is coming from before I buy it. I am privileged to live in San Francisco, with its independent supermarkets that source local food, and even at chain supermarkets, many items also originate in California. It is to find a tender head of California lettuce or a fragrant basket
of strawberries. My final foray into local eating is growing and harvesting my own food. I feel special whenever I eat a tomato or a green bean from my family’s backyard—I don’t think I can get more local than the 30 feet between the tomato plants on our patio and our kitchen table! Gardening not only produces delicious food but encourages a deeper relationship with food and the natural resources needed to grow it. This combination of excellent food and nourishing principles is what I, along with many others, seek in our pathways to local eating. This article appears online in The Miscellany News’ subsidiary magazine, “The Brewer’s Table” at vclive.miscellanynews. org.
Green Fest paves intersection of environmental co-op
Courtesy of Jack Oliver
Jack Oliver ’22 and Green Fest participants revel in the success of their summertime planning. The event brought various on-campus advocates for environmental concerns into one accessible location. Tori Lubin
Guest Reporter
H
anging, twinkling lights mark the entrance to the Aula. On a monitor deeper into the room, the greeting “Welcome to Green Fest” is scrawled in swirly green, as the audience eagerly waits. As promised, plants sit in the corner of the room, waiting to be adopted by Vassar students. Huge bins labeled “compost” make a prominent appearance in the intimate space. Around a center table, a green poster in all caps boldly asks students: “How will you address the climate crisis?” Representatives from various environmental student organizations bustle around, putting last-minute touches on their booths, eager to inform
Vassar students about how they can get involved with sustainability on campus. Green Fest made its grand debut this year on Friday, Sept. 6. The event was conceived by Melissa Hoffmann ’21 and Jack Oliver ’22, who are involved with Vassar Students for Equitable Environmental Decisions (SEED), and Cole Palatini ’21. “We thought a comprehensive, collective sense of sustainability at Vassar was lacking, especially for first-years,” Hoffmann explained. Through Green Fest, a united green front could form by centralizing environmental organizations to one convenient location. Other green groups represented at the event included various orgs, such as Vassar Greens, as well as institutional entities like
the Vassar Farm and Ecological Preserve, Environmental Studies program and the Earth Science and Geography department. Sponsors included the Grand Challenges Initiative, the Office of Sustainability, the Environmental Studies Program, the Associate Dean of the College, the Environmental Research Institute and the Environmental Cooperative. Additionally, the Creative Arts Across Disciplines (CAAD) encouraged students to brainstorm ideas for a mural centered around the theme of sustainability. According to Vassar Greens Co-Presidents Lisa Smart ’22 and Lucy Brown ’22, Green Fest was a success. “It’s the first piece to cohesion within all the environmental groups on campus, which is something that we’ve repeatedly been missing the mark on,” Smart said. Brown added, “I hope Vassar students come away knowing that there are so many ways to get involved with sustainability-related and environmental causes at Vassar. We’re all on the same team. We all try to support each other.” Between learning about various environmental organizations on campus, attendees at Green Fest were serenaded by their peers. A capella groups Vastards and Axies sang a few of their signature tunes. “We thought performing would be a great opportunity because the cause is important and it’s nice to see a lot of the environmental orgs getting involved together,” President of Vastards Larissa Archondo ’20 commented. Ben Schwartz ’23 also entertained the crowd through singing and strumming his guitar. Students sprawled on the floor listening to music while indulging in free
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
(non-Deece) ice cream. The food and music added a sense of shared, convivial community to the event. Director of the Office of Sustainability Micah Kenfield was impressed by the initiative and involvement coming from the organizers of Green Fest, as well as its attendees. The director’s role involves working across campus and with student groups to promote sustainability at Vassar. Kenfield commented, “Everybody told me when I was coming here about how Vassar is different and about how there’s a lot more spark and energy and electricity. It’s all really true.” Not only returning students, but incoming ones take environmental issues seriously. SEED and Vassar Greens leaders expressed their excitement at the amount of engagement from the Class of 2023. Club meetings have filled up and first-years are eagerly proposing their own green initiatives. While the fair is a starting point for raising the visibility of environmental issues on campus, student environmental activists are utilizing other methods to make their voice heard. Outside the Aula, posters were painted red with the words “Divest” and “Tell the Truth.” These banners will be waved at a Vassar climate strike on Sept. 20 as part of a global walkout demanding forms of alternative energy. Excitement about the march was buzzing among the environmental leaders at Green Fest. The future of our planet in the depths of climate change is unknown, but the hearts of Vassar students when it comes to the issues are not.
FEATURES
Page 12
Quite Frankly Frankie Knuckles Senior Editor Quality Advice-Giver
Hey Frankie, I can’t narrow down what I want to spend four years studying. It feels like nobody is guiding me in this important decision. Everyone tells me I have time, but it’s not helpful advice since I don’t know what to do with it. How can I pick the right classes and decide what to do with my life? Sincerely, Flummoxed First-Year Dear First-Year,
Q
uite frankly, you’ve come to the right college for this conundrum. Pople have probably already told you that Vassar is a place to explore broadly, as well as deeply. We have very few requirements, and thus more room to maneuver. I shared this question when I started college—and I still share it, from time to time. You will have many guides for your critical academic decisions, whether assigned to you by Vassar or discovered on Rate My Professors. You probably learned about official resources during Orientation. Outside of those, pretty much everyone on campus has an idea of what course will change your life. That’s both freeing and debilitating. No one can fit all those musttakes into eight short semesters. And even
if you could, they wouldn’t coalesce into a major (although, as Vassar’s homepage constantly reminds us, you can always design your own). Even more than that, they might not coalesce into a definite life path. I can’t tell you unequivocally what you should do, but I can get you going. Academically, start by combing through the course catalog. Don’t get caught up in the idea of a particular major and correlate sequence combo; float above that for this first year. I like to make a scribble-covered page of my long, long list, with each course laid out in a timeframe. That will force you to prioritize competing goals. Pick a class that seems unlike anything you’ve ever thought of trying before. Enroll in the maximum number of units possible. That way, if you don’t like your wildcard course by the drop deadline, you won’t be stuck. You can take this approach in life, too. Sow your wild oats among diverse orgs and extracurriculars and see where you feel most at home. The results might surprise you—I definitely didn’t expect to get tangled up in the Misc, and now it’s basically my life. No matter what you choose, you’ll have plenty of time to complete the major you end up declaring. Even if you change your mind a few times between now and then. Best Wishes, Frankie P.S. Saying you’ve got time may not be helpful...but you’ve got time. You’ll figure this out.
1.location of saunas, eye cucumbers, massages 4. plural of to be 7. small purple fruit 11. white iridescent gemstone 12. amongst 13. a pillar of a belief system 15. surfing brand 17. opposite of ‘subtract from’ 18. fury or hatred 19. carpool karaoke driver 21. listening organ 22. thanks for coming to my ___ talk 23. a squirrel’s treasure 24. displeasing fragrance 27. Barbie’s beau 28. good kind of land for growing crops 30. against prefix 33. formal address when writing letters 36. networks of parallel lines; gratings 38. to appear as or give an impression 39. the “big apple” 40. relating to India, prefix 41. 80s hairstyle trend, plural 43. sleeveless piece in a tuxedo 45. exclamation of surprise, anger, or affirmation 46. bleak, dull 48. female bird that produces eggs 50. green, mossy aquatic plant, singular 51. to organise by type 53. “you’re not my ___!” 56. bag or pouch 58. Jimmy, more popular 60. Much ___ About Nothing 61. to emerge or stand up 64. downfall, state of ruin 66. cloth or sheet 67. spirits mixed with water 68. robes worn by Christian clergy
Word
on the street
“Walking face to face with someone who ignores you.” — Ivy Teng ’21
What is the most awkward interaction you’ve had so far at Vassar? “Being mistaken for janitorial services.” — Romario Ortiz ’22
“This interview.” — Atticus Koizumi ’21
“Nothing, because I don’t care about messing up.” — Noah Anninger ’23
“I’ve locked the shower stall from the outside twice.” — Chloe Gjoka ’23
“I saw someone that looked like my friend and tapped the wrong person.” — Jordan Chin ’21
Francisco Andrade, Humor & Satire Yvette Hu, Photography
The Miscellany Crossword
“Cue Canned Laughter: Late Night Talk Show Hosts” ACROSS
September 12, 2019
by Frank
69. to have existed for an extensive amount of time 70. Call of Duty: Black ___ 71. a type of grain
DOWN
46. Cumberbatch, Cruise, or Chaplin 47. Tea pastry 48. Weight assessor 49. Acronymous apparatus
1. Baby cage 2. Wee ewe 3. Citizen of Kuwait or Sudan, for example 4. Cell boundary 5. Baby talk 6. Dutch colony in the Caribbean 7. “Get off my lawn” (abbr.) 8. Door handle 9. Balkan resident 10. Nutritious or delicious 11. Elder quester Baggins 12. Engage in simony 13. Wild guesses 21. Make a wager 22. Mark of authority 25. “First” Christmas carol 26. Thrusting fencing sword 27. Nerd 28. Cambodian cash 29. Number of ring found by 11 down 31. ‘New’ Great Depression government programs 32. Poisonous conifer 33. Sandwich shop 34. Tactless tone 35. Bivouac lodging 37. Work schedule 38. Proposed 1979 constitutional amendment 39. Broadly based 43. Long-short-short metric foot in poetry 44. Stomach irritations 45. Piping material
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
50. Use information 52. Study frantically 53. Inedible apple part 54. Club or nightstick 55. Actor Sprouse
September 12, 2019
OPINIONS
Page 13
The primer YOU need for presidential impeachment Jonas Trostle Opinions Editor
H
ello, you have been directed here because you have thoughts about impeaching a U.S. President. Whether your thoughts are for or against the notion of impeachment (be honest, right now you’re probably for), I don’t think you really know what impeachment is, and I don’t think you really know the ramifications of the actions which you are advocating. But we can be congenial, so let’s just start small and go through the steps and definitions for a federal impeachment, and then we can go from there. First, impeachment simply means that someone is being “tried” for some form of offense. Step two of this trial is “removal,” where the person on trial is “convicted.” Impeachment itself is actually really easy, requiring a simple majority of the House of Representatives. But removal—the action that most people imagine when they talk of impeachment at the office watercooler—requires a two-thirds majority of the Senate, a much higher bar. If you are a ranger for the Department of National Resources in Nimrod, MN and now feel threatened, don’t worry, only a specific subset of federal officials, called civil officers, can be impeached. President and Vice President are the two biggest ones, but falling under the umbrella is basically any government official that was approved in some way by Congress. Attorney General William Barr, check, can be impeached. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, check, can be impeached. Known Hatch-Act-violator Kellyanne Conway, nope, can’t be impeached. Former Special Counsel Bobert Mueller III, nope, can’t be impeached. What’s the differ-
ence? The latter two officials can be fired and hired at leisure without having to get Congress involved, while the first two require congressional approval for a replacement. The actual text of the U.S. Constitution is pretty plain about the types of things that merit impeachment: “… treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors” (U.S. Constitution, “Article II Section 4”, 06.21.1788). But what exactly is a “high crime or misdemeanor”? Allow me to sidetrack the both of us with a tangent about justiciability. Justiciability is a concept, of sorts, which allows courts to look at something and make a decision based on the law. Lack of standing is the usual go-to for saying something is non-justiciable. For example, the House of Representatives recently had a case it brought against the President thrown out for lack of standing (Lawfareblog,“U.S. House of Representatives v. Mnuchin,” 06.03.2019). Standing just means that you are the party affected by this particular action you’re suing over. It’s deemed non-justiciable in order to prevent everybody from suing everybody else over everything, because that would just be mayhem. Moreover, the issue you’re raising must be “ripe” and not “moot.” For example, if you were to go to court to obtain an injunction, an order from the court, against a company to stop it from publishing an article, but the article has already been published, then that case is moot and the court won’t even consider it. The courts hold vast power, but they can’t turn back time, and they can’t unring a bell after it’s already been rung. There are various exceptions to these but they are pretty rare; Rudy Guiliani mentioned an exception for standing relatively recently, and abortion access is a mainstream exception
from mootness. The other non-justiciable type of case is what is called a “political question.” This is the equivalent of the judicial branch wandering over to the workbench of the executive or legislative branch and trying to tell those people how to do their job. For instance, if Merrick Garland sued Congress for failing to advise and consent on his appointment, the court wouldn’t touch the case with a 50-foot pole, because it has no inclination to tell Congress how to do its job of advise-and-consent. Impeachment lands pretty squarely in this political question wheelhouse. The most indepth court decision regarding impeachment is almost entirely devoted to spelling out that the courts will not meddle in an impeachment. Recently, however, Professor Alan Dershowitz, an expert in constitutional law at Harvard, floated the theory that the Supreme Court could intervene in an impeachment trial, an idea that could generously be described as absolutely crackpot. The decision in question is Nixon v. United States, and before you ask, no, not that Nixon. The Nixon involved was actually former Chief Judge of the United States District Court for the Southern District of Mississippi Walter Nixon, who was suing because he alleged that the Senate improperly tried him. The case had no dissents, but multiple concurrences, and the majority opinion summed up the entire thing in under a sentence: “…Before we reach the merits of such a claim, we must decide whether it is ‘justiciable,’ that is, whether it is a claim that may be resolved by the courts. We conclude that it is not” (Nixon v. United States, 01.13.1993). It wasn’t a close call or something still in dispute. Impeachment is purely in the realm of the legislative branch.
Which brings me back to the phrase “high crimes and misdemeanors.” Given that the judicial branch will have nothing to do with an impeachment, and since impeachment is the sole responsibility of the House of Representatives, “high crimes and misdemeanors” is defined as, well, whatever Congress wants it to mean. It can define criminal conduct, or it can define non-criminal conduct. It can be a lucid, intelligent, well thought-out charge, or it can be entirely stupid and arbitrary, like “The President disrespected the office by wearing a tan suit.” Now let me get to what you’ve been waiting for: Should President Trump be impeached? Since we’ve already determined that impeachment and removal is a political question, the answer, of course, is going to be political. Indicting a sitting president is an open constitutional question—disallowed under Department of Justice guidelines—making the only redresses for misuse of power either impeachment and removal, or voting out the offender in the next election. Given that there is no way on earth that two-thirds of the Senate will actually vote to remove a sitting president, impeachment at this point would only be for political virtue-signaling—a signal that the House is out of touch with what the general populace actually wants, given that a majority of Americans don’t support impeachment (NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist, “Poll of 944 National Adults,” 06.2019). The question that should be asked is the same question that should be asked for any other piece of policy: Does this policy work toward the long-term welfare of the United States? Don’t let the words “convict” or “try” throw you off of what impeachment is. It’s pure politics. Nothing more, nothing less.
Where was Vassar when I almost died this summer? Sasha Gopalakrishnan Contributing Editor
T
Courtesy of Vassar College
he graduation ceremony for the Class of 2019 had just ended. I stood with my friends as we shed tears and sweat, but what we unfortunately had not managed to shed yet was the multitude of large boxes that still needed to make their way into summer storage. Trips to your storage facility are never fun, but they’re usually slightly less fun when you’re blindsided by severe pain around your wisdom tooth. As uncomfortable as it was, I was too caught up in pushing boxes and saying my goodbyes to think much of the erratic throbbing in my cheek—that is, until I woke up the next morning to find that the left side of my face had swollen up to the size of a small party balloon. It was incredibly frightening and incredibly weird. Unfortunately, the timing coincided with Vassar’s complete and total shutdown of health services for the summer—despite the fact that the campus continues to be populated by close to 200 summer students every year, which is about one-third the typical Vassar class size (email interview with House Advisor and Assistant Director of Residential Life Atiya McGhee). If you are unlucky enough to be a Vassar summer student facing medical issues, not only will you find that Baldwin is closed for the entire break, but that their phone line is wired to go directly to voicemail. Furthermore, EMS is not even remotely operational. So, if you are in need of urgent medical care and you try to call your campus’ health center, you will first find that nobody is on call; then you will be asked to leave a message, or alternatively, email them; and then
you will sort of just have to sit tight and wait for the medical staff to check their messages, which they will only be doing between 9 a.m. and 3 p.m., Monday through Friday (Vassar, “Summer Support Services Available for Students”). You could literally be dying on the quad, but God forbid it happens over the weekend, or like, at 6 p.m. on a Wednesday. In the face of this profoundly alarming medical emergency, I found myself struggling to speak, unable to swallow food and completely unsupported by the College. Forget trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me—I couldn’t even call them for some guidance on who the best dentist in the area was, or, say, what I should do about the fact that I don’t have any dental insurance. So I called an Uber to the nearest wisdom tooth specialist, found out that I apparently could have died of a bacterial infection called pericoronitis if I had come to him even 24 hours later, and was subsequently put on a very long course of antibiotics. Further, I was told that if I didn’t show signs of getting better in the coming weeks, I would most likely need to undergo a surgery that would cut into my neck and jaw to extract the infection. Suffice it to say, I might not have been here to write this piece if I had tried to email health@vassar.edu in the hopes of gaining some medical assistance. What’s so disheartening about Vassar’s disregard for its summer population’s health needs is that a large chunk of them are internationals like myself who are very, very far from home and usually require more guidance on medical issues when compared to American students more accustomed to their home country’s healthcare system. My clos-
When a painful toothache turned debilitating, Vassar medical staff was unresponsive, Baldwin’s doors were shut and the student health plan simply didn’t provide coverage.
est family, and consequently my dental insurance, is 7,000 miles away. I don’t have anyone in the United States whose insurance I can be added onto as a dependent, and Vassar is my sole support network when it comes to medical care. And while it’s my own fault that I didn’t purchase additional dental coverage in the United States, the insurance options provided by Vassar’s official healthcare provider, Gallagher Student Health, are hardly conducive to making anyone’s life easier. Gallagher’s minimum coverage dental plan requires students to pay $40.77 monthly, only to begin getting actual coverage for most dental health issues six months to a year after you’ve already been paying for the plan (Gallagher, “DentalElect NY Plan,” 2019). I would have had to pay $489.24 over 12 months before I could get the treatment I required— treatment that needed to be immediate. Though the inadequacy of this insurance option is reflective of larger healthcare is-
sues in the United States, the fact remains that it is Vassar’s officially recommended plan through their officially recommended healthcare provider, and it did nothing to ameliorate my already distressing situation. I was left totally neglected by the institution I call home, at the one time I probably needed them the most. The only people who were there for me were other international students on campus who were equally clueless regarding the intricacies of American healthcare. While they very poetically acted as my emotional rocks, I would have appreciated a medical professional on campus who could have helped me understand my insurance and treatment options—and not one who would have taken three days to get back to me in a situation where 24 more hours of going untreated could have killed me. This article appears online in the Miscellany News’ subsidiary magazine, “The Brewer’s Table” at vclive.miscellanynews.org.
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
OPINIONS
Page 14
September 12, 2019
Campus Climate Over the summer, Vassar’s campus underwent extensive renovations, the most controversial of which have taken place in the Rose Parlor, Shakespeare Garden and Raymond house. What do students think of the renovations all over campus? To find out, we asked around! “The renovations [in Raymond] are still not done. I don’t know what’s up in the printer room. They also said they would finish the basement. There’s still things going on. I really like the paint and the windows. The floors are really good. It’s a major upgrade from last year. Overall I’m happy with the changes, and Raymond needed a lot of the things that they did do.” –Miguel Nazario ’21 “I was told the windows [in Raymond] used to fall out, and that the floorboards were really creaky. Living here is nice actually. Everything is good, but I don’t like the bathrooms. You still have to shower with other people, like in Main. The basement is still very scary. Otherwise very nice, very homey.” –Leila Barnes ’23
“I’m overall pretty happy in [Raymond]. The new floors are an improvement. I’m a bit disappointed that the bathrooms didn’t get any improvements. I’m not sure they’re done with the renovations, but we’ll see.” –Jordi Martinez ’21
“I have relatively low standards, but I do like Raymond. I think the floors got sturdier. I know they made a few renovations to the bathrooms, plus they added a motion sensor light. The paint honestly didn’t bother me for the last two years, but it’s nice to have a different color for a change.” –Jonathan Fong ’21
“Things are definitely better [in Raymond]. I don’t know if there’s a list of changes, but I know that they fixed the floors and reupholstered the furniture. I wish they had gotten us new desks. They haven’t really changed the character of the house (in a good way).” –Griffin Trayner ’22
“The hallways [in Raymond] look nice and normal, but the bathrooms aren’t all that great. I still have to switch staircases to get to my room. No horror stories so far, and the floor in my room is fantastic.” –Samson Dorfman ’23
“The Rose Parlor looks fantastic. The Shakespeare Garden should be burned down now though.” –Jemison Tipler ’20
“[The changes in the Rose Parlor] are interesting. I don’t really know if it’s good, but I think it’s interesting.” –Dylan Smith ’20
All photos courtesy of Yumeng Li
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
September 12, 2019
OPINIONS
Page 15
Hot take: Vassar Disorientation Guide authors are cowards Abram Gregory Guest Columnist
I
n October of 1969, political unrest brewed nationwide, and Vassar was no exception. In response to the U.S. government’s involvement in Vietnam, the Vietnam Moratorium Committee on campus established itself as a center of antiwar protest, particularly to advocate for a cancellation of classes and Poughkeepsie-wide demonstration (Vassar College Encyclopedia, “Blood and Fire,” 2015). Enthusiasm for the moratorium reached a fever pitch in town, and Vassar students Carla Duke ’71, Julie Thayer ’71 and Carolyn Lyday ’72 publicly launched a four-part newspaper entitled “Blood & Fire.” The publication demanded the attention of the student body, implicating them in the Southeast Asian morass and confronted Vassar students with a haunting question: “Who will be left to celebrate the victory of blood and fire?’” In launching the work, those students did not shy away from taking a very public stand on a contentious international issue. Hold that thought. In the digital era, anonymity is an accessible and alluring option for personas ranging from internet trolls to hopeful activists. Sometimes, the line between troll and activist is all too blurred. During Orientation Week of 2018, a mysterious document appeared in the digital inboxes of Vassar’s first-years, accompanied by physical copies left in dorms around campus. The document was the Vassar Disorientation Guide, a 50-page piece tackling topics varying from a history of student activism to criticisms of campus security and exposés on trustees. The guide received ex-
posure outside of the Vassar community for its now-infamous suggestion that students partake in activism by “Slap[ping] a Zionist <3” (Scribd, “Vassar Disorientation Guide” 2018). Although supporters of the guide at a roundtable discussion hosted by the VSA insisted that it couldn’t be interpreted literally, that defense didn’t cut it, and, according to the anonymous author(s) of this year’s guide, “[S]tudents thought to be involved [were] fired from campus jobs and [went] through disciplinary hearings” (Issuu, “Vassar Disorientation Guide,” 2019). I heard about this year’s guide during the first week of classes. On the heels of last year’s debacle, I felt compelled to check it out—part of me anxiously anticipating another vague threat of violence, another part of me eager to have a good laugh at, well, keyboard warriors playing revolutionaries. For the most part, only my latter compulsion was satisfied. The document tries feigning legitimacy, containing practical headings like “Introduction,” and “Things to do near campus.” However, the seriousness of the guide declines as early as its introduction. Aggressive complaints of Vassar’s nefarious past and phony nature are followed by the caveat, “Vassar, as fucked up of an institution as it is, is still an incredible place in many ways and most of us generally enjoy our time here” (Issuu, “Vassar Disorientation Guide,” 2019). This confesses the authors’ darkest secret. Despite complaining against rich students and criticizing Vassar’s concept of community, the authors are not just beneficiaries of the institution and the social capital accrued here, but they also revel in it, and do not care to forego the privilege they
pretend to despise. This is not to invoke the old criticism of Marxists that they are hypocritical because they rely on capital. I am not saying that the arguments of the guide are baseless merely because the guide’s authors are students on campus. This would risk arguing that low-income students, for example, are not able to complain about the privilege of their classmates simply because they live on the same campus. To criticize a system in which someone has no choice but to participate in is one matter. But to pontificate from hidden safety is another. By being anonymous in distributing a document which is purposely meant to be inflammatory, those responsible for the guide have divorced themselves from responsibility for their words. The guides’ authors have made a mockery of activists who actually put themselves and their credibility on the line when taking a stand against dominant institutions. For example, the Communist Manifesto, the authors of which actually wished to destabilize an institution rather than whine about it, was first published anonymously (Marx and Engels revealed themselves later.) For modern reference, the 1986 Hacker Manifesto was also published anonymously. The authors of the Disorientation Guides are not facing the wrath of the new world order though. If they bothered to distribute the guide without illicitly accessing students’ contact information, the little recourse that they faced from last year’s fiasco likely would not have taken place at all. I reflect on the actions of antiwar activists such as those that launched “Blood & Fire,” not to mention the hundreds of demonstrators who later who took part in moratorium
at Vassar on Oct. 15, 1969. In the end, the efforts of the moratorium were substantial. In Poughkeepsie alone, 5,000 students from Vassar and surrounding Hudson Valley colleges attended the antiwar rally in Riverside Park, in addition to other efforts like picketing, pamphlet distribution and protest (Vassar College Encyclopedia, “Viet Nam,” 2015). In the era of rampant McCarthyism and anti-liberalism, Duke, Thayer, Lyday and other associated leaders risked great harm to their personal safety and reputations. Nevertheless, they persisted, and refused to tolerate what they perceived as injustices. The point of fruitful activism is to take a stand against an injustice perpetuated by the status quo, and this necessitates responsibility on the part of the activist. The creators of “Blood & Fire” find themselves in the company of countless champions of change in the sense that they stood against a series of systemic evils observed in their respective times. The willingness to remain public is what cements their names in the annals of history. Acceptance of responsibility—rather than remaining fearfully hidden—makes for poignant and meaningful activism. Whereas past Vassar students publicly stuck their necks out to produce documents criticizing powerful institutions ranging from the College itself to the U.S. government, the authors of the 2018-19 and 2019-20 guides have remained shrouded in mystery, free of responsibility or recourse. That mystery, which some may tell you is that necessitated by vigilantism, is the mystery that cowards cloak themselves in. That, frankly, is all a potential reader needs to know about this year’s Vassar Disorientation Guide.
Increased wages, decreased earnings ruffle students WAGE RATE continued from page 1 ticular relevance to the plight of first-years seeking employment without immediate success, “[If] a student does not solidify a job until the second or third week of the semester, they can work more hours in the weeks following to make up the difference.” But the language of “average” suggests that, for example, if a first-year worked six hours one week and eight hours the next over the course of the semester, since the average hours listed aren’t a cap, they would reach their allotment with an average hours per week of seven. In fact the “average” provided by the College is incorrect: That firstyear is actually alloted an “average” of 7.25 hours a week, which would require working above the hour suggestion every single week. In other words, while the College has suggested an average number of hours per week, one that will not get you the allotment provided in your financial aid letter, the actual average that you SHOULD work to meet your allotment is higher. In this way, the suggested hours provided by Student Employment are misguiding. Further, not all campus employers are apprised of the need for students to work beyond the suggested hours. The College stated, “Hours worked per week are flexible and always have been.” However, as students whose jobs are scheduled consistently each week are aware, employers are unlikely to schedule beyond the listed “averages.” Others have received emails warning employers of the possibility an employee will exceed their allotment, and not be paid for their work. These deter employees from working the hours that the College promised us in
our financial aid package. The College’s math to calculate earnings relies on an even more problematic premise: that student workers have 15 available work weeks. The issue here is that partial weeks on the academic calendar, such as those before and after breaks, are considered in the College’s math as full weeks wherein a student can work the suggested number of hours (or more than that, the average number of hours they need to reach their allotment). Furthermore, it necessitates that students work over finals week, when students’ normal hours are often interrupted by exam periods. Never mind the need to study. In fact, the number of actual workable days in the fall semester adds up to 99, which is just over 14 weeks. That’s an automatic loss of anywhere from $80 (for a first-year) to $100 (for an upperclassman). Students whose typical hours fall on weekends experience even fewer eligible work days as a result of the timing of breaks. This math also assumes that students will stay on campus to work over Thanksgiving break in the fall semester, even though many on-campus jobs are closed during that academic holiday. Since several work weeks are interrupted by the onset of breaks (the weeks before October, Thanksgiving, winter, and spring breaks), student workers would either have to stack their hours in advance or work incredibly long shifts over those shortened weeks. Many campus jobs are not conducive to long shifts or multiple students working onsite simultaneously, making such shift gymnastics pretty much impossible. One might think a student could elect to stay over breaks and work to make up the
gap (or complete a shortened week of work interrupted by the onset of a break), but even those students whose employer remains open during breaks are required to obtain special permission from Student Employment to stay on campus and work. Even if it were possible to work over academic recesses, we believe students should not be prohibited from celebrating holidays or visiting family members because they have financial needs that otherwise would be unmet. In short, we have a better wage, making our individual hours count for more, but we have not gained on any of the issues which originally led to the call for higher wages. The numbers off of which the College calculates our average hours per week are not realistic; it assumes we can get that best-case scenario, working our average hours each week including breaks and finals. But the reality is much sloppier and more complex. Since the College didn’t provide clear-cut directions for how students can meet their financial needs, we will. Students, if you are to meet your allotment, here’s what you need to do. First-years, forget that seven hour suggestion. Add around a half hour to your schedule each week, or work an average of seven hours a week with one weirdly busy 10 hour and 45 minute work week thrown in. Sophomores, if you work an average of eight hours a week, you need to add 1.65 working hours before your semester ends. Do that. Upperclassmen, you’re like six minutes short. Suck it up. You can also try to work around breaks and finals by stacking your hours in advance. Employers, you’re allowed to let your student employees work beyond the suggested
hours Student Employment provided you. It’s a suggestion. If you schedule us for that exact number of hours each week, we’re out of money. If someone gives you a hard time, send them our way. In case you’re hesitant to merely take our word for it, The College even wrote us, “Students can adjust their hours from week to week as needs arise and schedules fluctuate. For example, if a student works an event one week and they ultimately end up working 12 hours for that week, they can work fewer hours the following week (with employer approval).” Administrators: Asking students to advocate for themselves—to know to work above the suggestion, to go beyond the schedule their employers provided—to reach their work-study allotment is an additional barrier to low-income students, and puts them at even more of a disadvantage compared to their wealthier classmates. The College should be committed to ensuring that every student has the information they need to get the funds that, by Vassar’s own calculations, they need in order to attend this institution. If Vassar truly intends to live up to its language of “meeting 100% of demonstrated need,” then it should provide the information and tools for its students to do so. The College wrote, “Students need to be mindful that their primary goal while at Vassar is their success as a student.” In our view, being a successful student depends on our ability to purchase books, study over finals week and, we don’t know, maybe have a clean shirt every now and again. We need more than a higher number of dollars per hour.
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
HUMOR & SATIRE
Page 16
September 12, 2019
Breaking News
From the desk of Francisco Andrade, Assistant Humor & Satire Editor
Bradley runs out of Crafted Kup gift cards; rioting students demand President’s wallet, purse and phone
The Vassar Bitch Chronicles Emily Lesorogol ’22
How to keep your hubby: Bake these pumpkin muffins By Josie Schermerhorn (Pseudo Mommy Blogger)
T
hank you for clicking on my recipe for Chocolate Cheesecake Pumpkin Muffins, as well as for your comments on my recipe for Superbowl Loaded Meat Mountain Nachos. It was a little early in the year to be thinking about the Superbowl, but it’s never too early to perfect the snack you’ll be taking to the watch party. My brother-in-law hosts a party every year where the family gets together and the wives compete in a silly little cook-off. I’m hoping that this year, the nachos will be so good that my in-laws won’t have any commentary about how I’m not taking good care of my husband even though all I did was ask him for help with the dishes that one night last February! Now that it’s September, I’ve been making these muffins a lot, and my hubby has absolutely been loving it! These are the perfect indulgent snack for those days when it’s a little cold and rainy out. Plus, they are so simple to bake, as long as you
read the tips and tricks that I have below. These muffins are inspired by my childhood memories of watching my mother bake pumpkin pie as my dad and brother were outside playing a rough-and-tumble game of helmetless hockey on the frozen pond. They would come in with their cheeks pink from the cold, and my mom would serve them heaping plates of pie with whipped cream. I can only hope that I’m as good a wife as my mom was. Although pumpkin pie is still a classic, the youngest of my three boys, Breighdon, is a picky eater and doesn’t like the taste of pumpkin. I’ve found that adding cheesecake filling and chocolate chips makes this treat enjoyable for the whole family. As far as my tips and tricks go, I’ve found that the pumpkin flavor tastes the best when you use a fresh pumpkin that you roast yourself. My family actually lives in a pumpkin patch, so I always try to grab a pumpkin that isn’t quite good looking
enough to be a jack-o’-lantern or to be entered in the county fair. Then, I scoop out all the seeds (keep an eye out for my roasted pumpkin seed recipe that I’ll be posting next week). After that, I throw the pumpkin in the oven for about 14 hours, give or take. Canned pumpkin works too, but I know my kiddos are able to taste the difference, and it’s important to me that they know I love them enough to only feed them fresh pumpkin. However, if your kids are not as familiar with non-GMO farm to table organic produce, they may not be able to tell. I also recommend reduced fat cream cheese. My hubby is trying to lose some weight, so I’ve been trying to cook up some changes to make it easier for him (including a strict exercise regimen of hauling around pumpkins daily)! I really appreciate your reading this because, to be honest, this past week has been a pretty stressful one. There was a
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
chickenpox outbreak at my sons’ school, and since they aren’t vaccinated they had to stay home. The worst part is that now a lot of other parents at the school have been treating me differently since they found out I choose not to poison my kids. Making these muffins has really helped me calm down from this whole debacle. And let me know what strategies you’ve found helpful for getting the other parents off your back. I was thinking of inviting over all of the kids who have chickenpox, along with their parents. Hopefully, I’ll be able to make some like-minded mommy friends! Update: Thank you all for the comments and support. I’ve seen a lot of questions about baking time and the muffins coming out over-baked. I would suggest cooking them for a little bit longer. We now live in a farmhouse that still has most of the original appliances, so your oven’s baking time may differ by a few days.
September 12, 2019
HUMOR & SATIRE
Page 17
#Adulting: Exhausted editor shares hard-earned wisdom Francisco Andrade “Adult”
I
ly matters. For example, when I pass away at the ripe age of 83 and a half, it will be because I chose to fist fight that grizzly bear. It was eyeing my salmon, and I WON’T PUT UP WITH THAT. Yet, despite my gory finale, I still plan to glow-up at my funeral (I’m having my coffin bedazzled). 3. Help. You need it. Maybe not now, but eventually, we all do. And that’s okay. Try to treat yourself like you would a loved one. Let people you trust know when you’re struggling, and try to acknowledge it yourself. Even Frodo needed a whole fellowship to get that dumb ring up the mountain. Okay, granted, Sam did all the work. So be like Samwise Gamgee: Get old, write a book and rock an awesome green elven cape. 4. Make Dumb Decisions. You’re gonna do it anyway, regardless of whether you choose to or not, so you may as well choose to. Try to keep them recoverable. For example: Should I skip two days of class so I can Go on an impromptu camping trip in the middle of the frigid New York winter without checking the weather? Probably not. But should I buy a unicycle and look really silly falling off it all over campus? Of course I should! And by senior year, I will be good at it, and I will be able to laugh at those people who require two wheels! Two wheels? How unnecessary! I hope my advice can get you through this awkward pre-adult phase of your life. Just remember to be adaptable! Emulate the majestic ostrich, which realized it couldn’t fly, so it just hit leg day until even the kangaroos were jealous. Or something like that.
HOROSCOPES
Courtesy of jeremiahblatz.com
t’s the start of the new school year, folks. You’re busy finding new classes, getting lost in unknown parts of campus and dealing with all 13 orgs you just joined. When could possibly be a better time than now to have an existential crisis? I suggest getting it out of the way before your classes really pick up and you start popping CBD gummies like they are Tic-Tacs. But seriously, let’s face the facts: We are getting older. We have responsibilities and jobs, not to mention graduation looming ever closer, threatening to tear us away from our lovely seven cubic feet of living space. You’re probably wondering, “OH GOD WHY. I CAN’T BE OUTSIDE OF ADULT SUPERVISION. What do you mean I’m a legal adult?! I AM NOT. TAKE IT BACK. I’M BABY.” Well, no worries. I have a few tips that will help you navigate this wild world after (and before) graduation. Before I disclose these gems, however, allow me to present to you my credentials of adulthood. I have scheduled my own dentist appointment before (granted, I didn’t go, but still it counts). Once, I stopped watching a Netflix show with only three episodes left so I could finish a project . Believe it or not, I have been around for awhile—26 years, to be exact. This is a beautiful age where people buy you socks for Christmas, and you are actually excited about it. In these years of life, I have learned that while we are, in fact, all trapped within a body of flesh living on a rock hurtling, ev-
er-accelerating through the cold, dark vacuum of space, we are also living in a world of opportunity, and we should live our lives to the fullest. If you are anything like me, you’ve felt the stress of the world weigh upon you. This article will serve a very specific function: provide advice so that when life is getting you down, you will know how to hop down into a squat position, and then YEET that stress up and out of your life. 1. Grades. Sure, grades are important, and I personally have been known to pull frantic Monster Energy fueled all-nighters to work on assignments. Well, after I’ve procrastinated for about three days in the first place. But don’t allow your life to be measured by the due dates and GPAs. Give yourself time to breathe and relax. You deserve it. You’ve made it this far—go even further. But don’t wait to read that 400page assignment until 34 minutes before class. Your classmates will realize it when you mention that the Divine Comedy “was hilarious bro.” 2. Control. Oof, this is a toughie. How much control do we have? The short answer: a lot more than I realized at the age of 18. We control what classes we enroll in (well, at least some of them), how we want to dress, who we want around us, what we want to eat (I don’t recommend choosing the baked catfish at the Deece though; that thing is a torture tool)... Remember that while we can’t control all worldly shanenigans, we can change how we react and adapt to them, and that’s what real-
Above is nature’s most adaptable animal. The mighty Serengeti Ostrich is a true specimen that I hope to emulate.
Ivanna Guerra
amateur astrologist
ARIES
March 21 | April 19
TAURUS
April 20 | May 20
GEMINI
May 21 | June 20
CANCER
June 21 | July 22
LEO
July 23 | August 22
VIRGO
August 23 | September 22
People have been paying attention to you. You have two options: 1) embrace it by auditioning for a comedy group or 2) avoid everyone and everything by wearing a hoodie, cap and sunglasses.
Your instinct is always to dive into your projects, but summer’s over and they’ve already emptied the pool. To avoid any serious injuries, just chill a little and watch that Netflix show your roommate recommended.
To Geminis (specifically the one that wrote this column last year), letting go of your previous responsibilities might be scary, but don’t worry, I—the universe—got you. I’m never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you.
Cancer, self-care and self-love be rough. I know you’re feeling a bit down, but honey, remember that you are beautiful on the inside. Put a Lush mask on, paint your nails and watch some Queer Eye!
Have you ever been in a heated argument and realized you were completely wrong but decided to keep arguing because it was too embarrassing to back down? Well, Leo, this is you. If you know you are wrong, admit it. Yo, stop trying to make decisions this early in the year! I can already hear you thinking: What should I major in? What club should I join? What should my thesis be about? JUST STAHP. See where the universe takes you. Just be like Jim Carrey’s character in “Yes Man.”
LIBRA
September 23 | October 22
SCORPIO
October 23 | November 21
SAGITTARIUS
November 22 | December 21
Libra, you’re remembering when you sat on a ketchup packet and it stained your Apple Bottom jeans, so everyone laughed at you when you stood up. I wish I could erase your middle school’s memory of this incident, but look on the bright side: No one at Vassar can call you “Ketchup Pants.” In the wise words of Shia Labeouf, “Don’t let your dreams be dreams,” Scorpio. I know you’ve been meaning to get around to something you’ve been planning for a while now, so what are you waiting for? JUST DO IT.
OMG Sagittarius, you have accomplished so much lately and you haven’t given yourself any credit. I want you to use your first workstudy paycheck to buy yourself some balloons and a feather boa, so you can celebrate you.
Listen to what I told Cancer, Capricorn. You
CAPRICORN need to take care of you first, Bae. You can’t
December 22 | burn yourself out this early in the semester! January 19 Go splurge on some essential oils and diffuse your worries away.
AQUARIUS
January 20 | February 18
PISCES
February 19 | March 20
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Aquarius, don’t add things to your online shopping cart to make yourself feel better. You don’t need to order 24 king size white chocolate Kit Kats. Save your money until after Halloween when the candy is on sale. If that’s your car alarm that keeps going off in the TA parking lot, then go outside and turn it off. It’s terribly annoying to all of the residents who are trying to study and/or write horoscopes for the Misc.
SPORTS
Page 18
September 12, 2019
Player conduct troubles NFL, fantasy football leagues Teddy Chmyz Sports Editor
[CW: This article discusses physical assault, sexual assault and domestic violence]. ear the end of the last NFL season, TMZ Sports released a video of thenChiefs running back Kareem Hunt, with the title “KC Chiefs Running Back Kareem Hunt Brutalizes and Kicks Woman in Hotel Video.” My instant reaction to this is not something I am proud of. I was elated. You see, the end of the NFL season is also the time when the fantasy football playoffs begin. And in my highly compettive league filled with high school friends, I owned Hunt’s backup, Spencer Ware. If Hunt were to miss time, Ware would take his highly lucrative position as the starting running back in the Chief’s high-octane offense. I was excited again less than an hour later, as the Chiefs released Hunt. I wish I could say my delight was because I was happy to see an NFL team finally taking a moral stand, but it wasn’t—I was just happy to have a new starting running back to play. It turned out Ware did not actually replace Hunt, and the starting slot instead went to the presumed third-stringer, Damien Williams. Fortunately for me, I had also added Williams to my roster, and he played a key role in my eventual run to the championship (This isn’t particularly relevant, I just try to mention it whenever possible). Along with his contributions to my team, the Goodwin Express, Williams performed well for the Chiefs on the field, making their decision to cut Hunt seem justified, at least from a football perspective. What is not justified is the non-football reasoning that led to the Chiefs cutting Hunt. Don’t get me wrong, he deserved to be cut, but why I think so and why the Chiefs think so are likely very different reasons. While the video leaked by TMZ did indeed show Hunt shoving and kicking a woman in a hotel hallway, many be-
N
lieve the real reason the organization cut ties with the player was something other than these violent actions. This theory is further supported by the troubled history of the team’s other offensive star, wide receiver Tyreek Hill. During his time in college, Hill was accused of beating his pregnant girlfriend: choking her, striking her and throwing her against a wall. He eventually pled guilty to domestic abuse by strangulation (Sports Illustrated, “Tyreek Hill pleads guilty to domestic abuse, receives three years probation,” 08.21.2015). Despite this, the Chiefs still drafted Hill in the 5th round of the 2016 draft. Just last week they signed him to a new contract worth over 54 million dollars and making him the second-highest paid wide receiver in the league. Three years prior, and again a week ago, the same organization that released Hunt without a second thought decided that Hill deserved a second chance. Given that the Chiefs felt justified locking Hill in as a key player in their team for years to come, despite his abusive actions, it seems likely that they shared the same disregard for the violent behavior on the part of their star running back. Frankly put, their reasons for releasing Hunt are likely unrelated to his violence. It could have been that Hunt had previously lied to the team about his actions in the hotel, or that the more publicised and recent nature of his offense meant more backlash. Regardless of the actual reason, the relative violence of the two players’ offenses were clearly not the deciding factor in the Chiefs’ front office decisions. This is not just to point the finger at the Chiefs, however, as they are far from the only team in the NFL (and it’s not just teams, the NFL itself has had many well-documented issues handling instances of player misconduct) that has made questionable decisions regarding players with histories of domestic violence or other off-the-field issues (The Guardian, “The NFL’s problem with violence against wom-
en,” 12.07.2018). Last season, the team in Washington with an even less appropriate name claimed linebacker Reuben Foster off waivers, three days after his second arrest for domestic violence in the year (NFL. com, “Washington Redskins claim Reuben Foster off waivers,” 11.27.2018). Steelers and Buccaneers quarterbacks Ben Roethlisberger and Jameis Winston have both agreed to out of court settlements over sexual assault accusations and then faced separate allegations later (Vice, “Ben Roethlisberger, Quarterback, Twice Accused of Sexual Assault,” 12.05.2015; Tampa Bay Times, “Timeline of investigations, suspensions and allegations involving Jameis Winston,” 06.21.2018). They served four-game and three-game suspensions respectively, then returned to the field. Former Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis pled down from a murder charge— the blood of one of the two victims was found in his limo, the suit Lewis wore that night was never found—and played the next season to become the Defensive Player of the Year and Super Bowl MVP (USA Today, “Mystery still surrounds Ray Lewis’ cream suit from 2000 Super Bowl in Atlanta,” 01.28.2019). The message this sends is that if you have the talent, you will find yourself a spot on an NFL roster, regardless of what skeletons may be in your closet. Hunt himself is already on another team and, after serving a 10-game suspension, he will suit up at running back for the widely hyped Cleveland Browns. This is of course not a problem only present in football and the NFL (see “Bryant, Kobe”), but it seems to be most prevalent there, especially in recent years. NFL teams across the league continue to turn a blind eye to their players’ misconduct, as long as they think that player can win games without being “too much of a distraction” (read controversial enough to lose the team money). But there are some inconvenient facts:
It’s hard to take a moral stand when it’s more convenient to just ignore things. I personally am no better than any NFL team: I would love to have drafted Hill in the second round this year, and will pick up Winston any time I’m in need of a backup QB. After all, if I didn’t take them, someone else would. They either weren’t suspended or arrested or already served their punishment, and it’s not my job to be the morality police. Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? It’s easy to make excuses to justify ethically questionable decisions when I care about winning more than just about anything else. And as much as I care about fantasy football, there’s less than $200 at stake, not the billions generated by the NFL every year. It’s no wonder many front offices find themselves making the same excuses as they overlook a player’s offences for their offense (or defense). While there is clearly a problem here, the solution is less obvious. There is one potential answer that jumps out right away: Both NFL front offices and I, in supporting players like Hill, Winston and Roethlisberger, are to some extent morally responsible for their actions. However, I believe this puts blame in the wrong place. Expecting all 32 NFL teams (or all 10 fantasy ones) to ignore a talented player that can help them win games is unrealistic. Instead, the NFL itself should take a more active role in suspending or outright banning players for misconduct, using the system they already have in place for doing so. Of course the NFL’s history in cases like these is far from exemplary (far from average, actually), but they have ostensibly been striving to improve. In a perfect world, the Chiefs and fantasy football players alike wouldn’t have to choose whether to draft the next Tyreek Hill, because he would already be banned from the league. In fact, if the NFL wants to get on this right away, I would really appreciate it, because my week one fantasy opponent is starting Hill.
Baseball too boring to watch? VC player weighs in Daniel Bonfigliio Guest Columnist
A
lthough it is often referred to as “America’s Pastime,” baseball is far from the most popular sport in the United States. Despite last year’s Super Bowl bringing in the lowest ratings in the last 11 years, it drew nearly seven times the audience of the last World Series (CNBC, “Super Bowl draws lowest TV audience in more than a decade, early data show,” 02.05.2019; Variety, “World Series Ratings Fall 23% From 2017,” 10.29.2018). The multigame series structure of baseball makes it impossible to match a single Super Bowl in ratings even at the best of times, but the empty stadiums of most lower-placed MLB teams clearly show that baseball’s popularity is dwindling. As a player myself, I hear it over and over again: “Baseball is just boring to watch.” Yet, now is not the first time in history that baseball has experienced a diminishing audience. In the mid-’90s, baseball hit its all time lows in ratings—before it was saved by steroids. The juiced players of the early 2000s re-energized games, as fans flocked to see home run records shattered off the bats of Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds. It was offense that the game needed, and offense that it got. Steroids were soon banned—and the unnatural home run totals
with them—but baseball had its fans back. So what made the game so much more exciting back then than it is now? The answer actually has nothing to do with offense or home runs. In fact, 2019 has been the Year of the Home Run, with six different teams all on pace to break the single-season record, set just last year. So there is no shortage of the most exciting play in baseball. And yet baseball continues to lose fans. If it wasn’t just the ubiquitous home run, what made baseball popular? And what is missing now that has led to a dying fanbase? One difference from the modern game to past eras is strikeouts. Each of the past few seasons has set a new record for total strikeouts in a season, as players try to hit more home runs, and care less about striking out. More strikeouts mean fewer balls in play, and fewer defensive opportunities that make the standard play-by-play action more entertaining. Perhaps what’s even more responsible for baseball’s “boring” reputation is all the down time within games. According to Vassar students and athletes, this is the biggest deterrent to baseball fandom. Junior Maddie Maguire said that she doesn’t usually watch sports on TV, but she thinks “[I]t is fun to watch, especially with friends,” and she would likely watch more “if there were faster transitions between the innings.”
Junior Grace Amell, a more frequent fan, also pointed to delays as a reason to tune out of ball games, explaining that “The times I do get annoyed watching are during rain delays, especially when there are only a few outs left.” Rain delays and extra innings have long been a topic for discussion, as unlike other major sports, baseball refuses to let games end in ties, fighting through until a winner emerges. Therefore, every year sees a few games toil into the 18th inning or later, leaving tired and depleted teams, with the few remaining fans in the stands to boot. So, should the rules be changed? The MLB has adopted some new small rule changes, like limiting catcher visits to the mound, and introducing a loosely enforced pitch clock between pitches and innings. However, a newer slew of rule changes have been proposed, and the MLB’s Atlantic Prospect League has been the testing grounds for rules as radical as stealing first base. I think most fans would agree that this is overkill, but the MLB has been widely criticized for its static nature. While the more popular NFL redefines basic principles like hits and catches year to year based on necessity, it seems sometimes like the MLB is focusing on tradition to the detriment of entertainment. While no baseball fan wants the traditionally slow-paced sport to turn into a scoring
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
frenzy like basketball, the degree of change is a blurred line. “I like the length and speed of the games,” Amell said, “it’s possible for me to multitask while I watch, or pick up watching without having missed all the action in the game.” Many diehard fans and players share the same sentiment. First-year baseball player Ezra Caspi is wary of major changes. According to Caspi, “When you start messing with the game, you mess with what has made people love it for so long, and how it should be played.” Baseball is rich in tradition and history, and its history helps make it so dear to so many people. It is not without reason that people are hesitant to make big rule changes to a game that has kept swinging since the 1890s. When asked what could improve the baseball viewing experience, Caspi said, “Knowing the rules. There’s an art to it and a deeper understanding.” Indeed, there is. Every pitch is rich in strategy, with pitcher and hitter locked in a game of chess with fastballs, changeups and sliders as pieces. Every foul ball adds to a tension that waits for life, in the absence of a clock to relieve it. So the next time you think to yourself, “Baseball is so boring,” know that changes might be on the way, but those changes could also come in the way you watch.
September 12, 2019
SPORTS
Page 19
Jerry Jones messed up: Running backs don’t matter Jonas Trostle Opinions Editor
B
y now I’ve already lost 99.5 percent of my audience. One solid half of that 99.5 percent doesn’t care about football at all, and wonders why I’m even writing about it; the other half actually likes football, but what I’ve said is actual sacrilege. That remaining 0.5 percent would be my mother (hi Mom) and my editors (hi friends), and they don’t care either, but they’ve invested this far into the article and they’re never getting that time back now. The reason a statement like “running backs don’t matter” is taboo even among casual fans is because, if they grew up in a football household, they’ve probably heard the maxim “We have to establish the run” countless times, whether shouted at a TV by fans or posited by coaches during interviews. And the number of rushing attempts a team has is heavily correlated with how often it wins (Advanced Football Analytics, “What Makes Teams Win?” 07.11.2007). So why do I say running backs don’t matter? To start, we can look at expected points added (EPA). Popularized in the book “The Hidden Game of Football” as a way to value offenses without relying on statistics like total yards or total points, EPA is a relatively straightforward concept: If you have a 75 percent chance of making a three-point field goal, the EPA of that play is 3 * 0.75 = 2 (ESPN, “Expected points and EPA explained,” 09.15.2012). If you have a 20 percent chance to score a touchdown on a drive, but then you run a play that increases your odds of a touchdown to 80 percent, you had an increase of 7 * 0.6 = 4.2 expected points.
Teams, except for very specific situations, want to maximize their own EPA and minimize that of their opponents. But back to running backs. Looking at running plays on all downs, we can actually see that the EPA of an average run is negative (Twitter, @[SabinAnalytics], 06.19.2019). Of course, those are just average numbers for running backs and the numbers might be different for the cream of the crop like Ezekiel Elliott, Todd Gurley, Melvin Gordon or Le’Veon Bell. But no, those players’ EPA-perrush are -0.0120, -0.0347, -0.0950 and -0.0492 respectively—all negative. This makes intuitive sense when you know that the average yardage gained on a first down run is close to 3.8, and that having a second and 6 is worse for scoring than a first and 10.
“Using a running back is probably a poor choice.” Really, the only time running adds any value is on third and 6 or fewer, or within the 10 yard line (Twitter, @[903124S],06.08.2019). Even then, using a running back is probably a poor choice. For instance, if you insist on running the ball, on average quarterbacks and receivers have a higher EPA per rush than running backs (Twitter, @[JonasTrostle], 08.12.2019). In the starkest of terms, running with a running back on third or fourth down and 2 or fewer converted for a first down 66 percent of the time on average (ESPN, “The dying art of the QB sneak,” 11.08.2019). QB sneak? 83 percent of the time. However my point is not that running backs are useless (they are, but that’s not my
point), my point is that running backs don’t matter. Even if a team runs the ball all the time, what exact running back the team decides to use won’t really make that much of a difference. The following is one of my favorite statistics of all time, and I still find it hard to believe: 96 percent of the yards in a carry can be predicted by where a team is on the field, and how many defenders are near the line of scrimmage (FiveThirtyEight, “The Secret To The Rams’ Blocking Success Isn’t The Linemen. It’s Sean McVay,” 01.30.2019). 96 percent. The remaining four percent I assume belongs to the running back, his five blockers and the entire 11 man defense. There’s various other arguments for why running backs matter, like that they setup the defense on play-action plays, where the quarterback fakes handing the ball to the running back only to instead throw a pass. Play-action passes are more valuable than regular ones, and so it stands to reason that more effective running backs would make the play-action passes more effective (FiveThirtyEight, “Can NFL Coaches Overuse Play-Action? They Haven’t Yet,” 01.04.2019). This is, happily, not true. More rushing attempts or a higher yards per carry have no effect on the effectiveness of play-action passes. Likewise, there’s also no evidence to suggest that running the ball wears out defenses any more than rapid-fire pass attempts. If you think that running the ball more helps keep your quarterback from getting hit as often, you’re probably right. Luckily, the data tell us that the number of hits a quarterback takes isn’t really correlated with a decrease in performance (Football Outsiders, “Further Research on Play-Action Passing,”
12.13.2018). But at least the running back can be useful in the passing game by receiving quick touch passes in the backfield, right? Maybe, but the EPA from a running back catching a pass is lower than that of both a receiver or a tight-end. Moreover, a running back’s average depth of target, a metric that is highly correlated with producing value, is much lower than any other receiving option, but if you have to throw it short then running backs are your best option (Twitter, @ [PFF_Moo], 03.15.2019). Let me add just one more thing. Rushing attempts are highly correlated with winning, and because of this fact, I get to do a crossover event between my Economics Major, my foreign language requirement and that one logic class that I took for shiggles. Post hoc, ergo, propter hoc; or in other words: Y’all got your causation mixed up. Running teams don’t win, rather, teams that are ahead in the score start to run more (Twitter, @ [benbbaldwin], 05.24.2019) . This is the end of the article, the part where I equivocate or hedge my position, saying that there’s room for multiple interpretations and that we should proceed with an abundance of caution. I’m not going to do that. But I will amend my previous statement, and the headline of this article. Running backs do matter. They take up far too much of a team’s cap space (essentially the team’s budget) and far, far too many roster spots. Running backs aren’t just useless, using them or even keeping them on a team is active malpractice. This article appears online in the Miscellany News’ new subsidiary magazine, “The Brewer’s Table” at vclive.miscellanynews.org.
Jonah discovers the five fundamental rules of golfing and son entered the room and paid their green fee. After extensive deliberation, they also elected to pay for a golf cart. Shortly after walking out to the course, the son returned and asked Myers if there was beer for sale. He was gently rebuked, as Myers informed him that the golf course was a “fun-loving, family place.” That declaration invoked the third fundamental rule of golf, which is alignment. Myers said that 80 percent of his customers are regulars from the Poughkeepsie area, and that he is good friends with many of them. The course is a haven for many young golfers, using the shorter course as a stepping stone to golfing glory in their later years, as well as aging players, who no longer want to traverse a full 18 holes. In between the young and old patrons of the Vassar golf course is the women’s golf team, which Myers coached from 2004 to 2012. Myers described his bond with the Brewers of years past: “They were wonderful. The way they treated each other, the world would be a better place if everyone treated each other like that.” Myers described the experience as a 10/10, and said that he is still in touch with a few of his former players and their families, some of whom flew from as far as Chicago to watch every tournament. Ah, golf. The fourth and fifth fundamental rules of golf are backswing and forward swing, which is an appropriate segue to explaining the future of Vassar’s golf course. That future, despite (or perhaps because of) the apparent lack of golfing passion in the Vassar student body, has sparked a number of rumors, including one that the course was to be replaced by solar panels. These plans for development (or cultural regression, depending on your personal
Jonah Frere-Holmes/The Miscellany News
GOLF continued from page 1 sional, and in his nine-year tenure as the coach of the Vassar women’s golf team, he guided the Brewers to one of only two NCAA tournament appearances in program history. The second fundamental rule of golf is posture. Myers exerts himself in a number of positions as Vassar’s resident pro. He explained that, although Vassar owns the land the golf course occupies, it leases the course to a manager who runs it as an independent business. The yearly lease is paid, but otherwise the golf course is not a source of income for Vassar. At a smaller (nine-hole rather than 18-hole), more local course like Vassar, Myers explained in the straightforward manner that characterized his interview, “You’re more of a superintendent than a golf pro.” Whereas he was in charge of over 20 employees and operations worth over a million dollars at courses like Casperkill, he now knows the majority of the golfers at the Vassar course personally, and is not at the mercy of the demanding clientele that a larger course attracts. Left to his own devices, Myers emphasized that he has what many professionals would consider a “dream job,” adding that he has a “wonderful relationship” with the school. So wonderful, in fact, that Vassar administrators have stopped attending the annual golf course review meetings, trusting that Myers is making the right decisions. Vassar is not a place where you would expect a high concentration of people with their own opinions as to how a golf course should be managed; the school’s laissez-faire approach with its manager is simply par for the course. In the middle of our interview, a father
A lonely golf cart sits, tranquil, on Vassar’s very own golf course. The luxurious lawn acts as a location for community members and Brewers alike to play a relaxing 9-hole round.
relationship to golf) do not faze Myers: “I think people don’t understand how hard it is to actually build buildings.” He cited past proposals, including a four-lane road connecting to Raymond Avenue, that were scuttled because Vassar’s administration simply has bigger fish, like Williams House, to fry when it came to spending millions on replacing things. Vassar’s golf course is not a major landmark on campus. The Vassar golf team doesn’t even use it for practice, because it’s too small. The vast majority of its business comes from local patrons, and the few Vassar students who do venture beyond the
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
AFC are usually not looking to play a few holes. While the minority of Vassar students who do speak about the golf course suspect that its days are numbered, Myers adopts the adage of the proverbial wise man: “We’ll see.” In the meantime, he enjoys an unchallenged, benevolent reign over the family-friendly course, planting pear trees and hosting annual junior clinics in the summer. Though a golf course is perhaps a surprising thing for Vassar to have, and many students pay it no mind, it exists, it benefits the Hudson Valley’s lower-octane golfers and it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
SPORTS
Page 20
Why
We
September 12, 2019
Max Spencer, baseball
Play
M
Courtesy of David Hartnett
ost student-athletes at Vassar have spent the majority of their lives dedicating themselves to their sport. At some point, it became more than just a childhood hobby. Becoming a successful NCAA atthlete requires an immense amount of dedication, hard-work and commitment. It involves hours in the weight room, longer than long practices, bus rides to road contests and all of the other things necessary to successfully balance our athletic and academic schedules. So why do we put ourselves through all this work for the sake of a “game”? People usually pick hobbies and activities that offer them entertainment and the opportunity to connect with other people who share our interests. When we were younger, our parents signed us up to play soccer, to learn an instrument, or take an art class. As we got older, we continued with the activities we enjoyed, most likely in areas where we excelled and felt we had found a place. Unlike most hobbies, playing a sport comes with a more explicit promise of, often public, failure. Anyone who has watched a high-profile sporting event has witnessed the anguish of defeat. Those athletes probably aren’t having fun, and they definitely aren’t always happy with their performances. So why would they willingly engage in activities that come with the looming threat of defeat? It is because, when we play, we are not just chasing the thrill of victory. Don’t get me wrong, most of us are competitive, and we all enjoy winning. But if given the option, most athletes would choose to play their sport and lose over not playing in the first place. If the only rewarding thing about athletics were the exhilaration of victory, then teams engaged in losing seasons would simply decide not to play any-
“Why We Play” is a weekly installment in which Vassar athletes write about what their sports mean to them. This week we feature pitcher Max Spencer. Last season, Spencer led the Brewers in strikeouts and posted a team-lowest 6.30 ERA. more. We choose to play sports because of the satisfaction and fulfillment that comes from playing the game. This includes the moments during competition. But this also includes all of the things that are done off the field. When we lift weights or study film, we gain a sense of satisfaction. Same for when we wake up for 7 a.m. conditioning or head out for practice in the snow and rain. These things may not make us happy at the time, but we do them because we feel a sense of accomplishment knowing we have created goals and are working hard to achieve them. This summer, I was the head coach of a baseball team in Switzerland, the Hünenberg Unicorns. It was a local team filled
with players of a wide range of talent and experience. Some team members had been playing baseball for more than 40 years, and others played their first game during my tenure. The players may have looked very different out on the field, but they were all there for the same reason. They were there because they wanted to play baseball and to be part of a team. They believed that playing baseball could fulfill them in ways other hobbies could not. And for the three months I spent with the Unicorns, I was constantly bombarded with the reasons why I love the game. I witnessed players working hard to develop their own individual skills, but I also watched them learn to play together and be successful as a team, despite their varying levels of talent and
Cross Country
experience. During my time in Europe, I also played myself in a few international tournaments. I was the only player that was still in school. Most of them were recently graduated collegiate baseball players, who had chosen to extend their careers by playing for European baseball clubs. These were not the famous, wealthy baseball players of the MLB. They lived extremely unflashy lives, earning breakeven money with very few amenities. One of my teammates lived in the storage shed next to the field. They play because—for this moment in their lives—they view the game of baseball as the entity that is more fulfilling than anything else. They will all eventually move on from the game and will likely begin careers unrelated to athletics. But for now, they are content continuing to play the game. Back at home, as Vassar students, our lives are complicated. They are busy and demanding. When we choose to play a sport, we willingly sacrifice much of the scarce free time we possess. We accede to long meetings, grueling practices, late nights and early mornings. And we consent to participating in a few things that, in the moment, may not make us happy. However, we also sign up for team dinners at the Deece and the conversations with teammates walking to and from classes. We sign up for the opportunity to play the game that we love in front of our families, and for the lifelong friendships we make. We seek the opportunity to win a game, a tournament and maybe even a championship. We chase the thrill of victory and we are motivated to work harder after a defeat. We know that these are the things that give us satisfaction and our lives fulfillment. That is why we play.
Women’s Volleyball
Ron Stonitsch Invitational
Home Opener
September 7, 2019
September 7, 2019
The women’s team won convincingly in the first event of the season, outpacing second-place NYU 43 to 53. Sophomore Keara Ginell was key in the victory, setting a blistering pace and taking first in the event by a full 15 seconds. The men’s team also battled with NYU for the top spot, eventually taking second behind fifth and seventh finishes from first-year Miles Takiguchi and junior Reed Dolan, respectively. Both teams will race next at Bard College on Sept. 21.
Vassar won both meets in the home opener of their 2019 season, defeating Muhlenberg College 3-1 in the morning and Morrisville State College 3-2 later the same day. Mistake-free play helped the team bring its record up to 3-3 on the season, as they averaged slightly over four errors per set on the day. The Brewers will look to continue to protect their home court in Kenyon Hall with another victory against Williams College on Sept. 11.
Field Hockey
Vassar College 5, New Paltz 1
Women’s Soccer
Vassar College 1, Scranton 1
September 7, 2019
September 7, 2019
After giving up a goal in the first minute, No. 6 Brewers tightened up their defense, and didn’t allow another for the rest of the game. Vassar then dominated the fourth quarter, outshooting New Paltz 10 to 1, earning five corners and scoring three of their five goals on their way to a dominant W. The team that earned a program-first Liberty League title last season is generating early momentum this year, rolling their way to an undefeated 3-0 record. Written by Teddy Chmyz, Sports Editor; Photos courtesy of Carlisle Stockton
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Junior Ally Thayer’s second-half goal off the bench brought Vassar even with Scranton, as the team fought back to bring their record in the early season to 1-1-1. Junior goalkeeper Fiona Walsh helped keep the score level in the first half, posting six saves in the period and adding two in the second for eight throughout the game. The team hopes to build on this victory with more victories and earn a bid to the NCAA Championships for the second straight year.