Misc11.03.2022

The Miscellany News

Lack of campus poll site violates new law

Jacques Abou-Rizk News Editor

Nearly seven months have passed since New York Election Law § 4-104 man dated the designation of a polling place on or near every college campus housing 300 or more registrants. While the deadline for this designation was Aug. 1, 2022, with midterm elections less than a week away, Vassar, with 800 registered local voters, has yet to form an official polling location on campus.

A number of on-campus student organiza tions have brought this issue to the attention of the county’s Board of Elections (BOE), but according to a letter sent to the County by the Dutchess Student Voting Coalition, in con junction with Democracy Matters, League of Women Voters and the Andrew Goodman Foundation, they have received little to no re sponse from the BOE.

According to Wesley Dixon, Special As sistant to the President and Secretary of the Board of Trustees, the President’s Office has seen both the press release and the letter sent to the county. “The College supports and is excited about the fact that local residents and Vassar community members are exercising their voices to advocate for a polling site on Vassar’s campus,” he said in written corre spondence.

He added that the College has made its stance clear to both Election Commission ers in Dutchess County, Hannah Black

Palmer Gallery features new perspectives

Naima Saini Columnist

The current exhibit in the Palmer Gal lery, "History in RBG,", presents in triguing and visually compelling artwork using archival photographs documenting colonization in the Philippines. At first glance, the images in “History in RGB” look fantastical—brightly colored, with low-resolution faces and words, cloudlike

structures that are hard to decipher and intense shadows. But there’s more to them than meets the eye—the images have been meticulously altered so that each one looks different depending on whether it’s viewed through a red, green or blue lens.

For example, a cursory glance at the piece Pacific 1993 shows a boat atop an underwa ter landscape. But using the green lens to look at it, the underwater world sharpens into a teeming landscape of wildlife. Us

ing the red lens, the towering presence of the boat, flying the American flag in colo nized territory, becomes the clearest part of the image. In the piece Native children, Thomasites, Mayon Volcano, and Kapre, the sea of Filipino children’s faces becomes obscured when the viewer looks with the green lens, leaving only the white adults in clear view, as well as older children in suits. With the red lens, the reverse happens, and the young children’s faces are now the focus of the image.

Maria Dumlao, the artist who created “History in RGB,” started collecting the ar chival images that form the basis of the ex hibit before she knew what she was going to do with them. She had been combing through history books, digital libraries, and archives, accumulating images from the United States’ colonization of the Phil ippines, where she grew up. The majority of the photos in the exhibit were donated to a local university by an American living in the Philippines. “I couldn’t find images of American atrocities, and of course, they were already edited,” Dumlao told me. The photos were not neutral documents—they were presenting history through the lens of the colonizers. “It was very much em phasizing and going with the narrative of Americans as the saviors,” Dumlao said. She started playing with color in the im

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Students march to fight for rights

Emma Adams Guest Reporter

On Oct. 8, downtown Poughkeepsie held a “Bans Off Our Bodies!” march in pro test for reproductive rights. The crisp morn ing air fed into the palpable feeling of excite ment and solidarity among local residents. However, there was also an edge of anxiety. Everyone was aware that this march meant more than it ever had in the past.

Residents gathered at the Civic Center and marched to the bank of the Hudson River, where organizers and political figures spoke about the fight for reproductive rights and upcoming elections. Protestors wore shirts advocating their support for abortion rights, held signs backing Planned Parenthood and shouted catchy pro-choice slogans. Onlook ers voiced their support by honking their car horns and shouting out their windows along with the march. Arriving at the end of its journey, the crowd gathered in front of a stage where speakers lined up ready to voice their support. Among those who spoke was Pat Ryan, current representative of New York’s 19th Congressional District and can didate in the upcoming election. Ryan won a special election in August of this year fol lowing Democratic representative Anto nia Delgado’s resignation and is running to

WVKR hosts student shows

Clara Alger Guest Reporter

Vassar College’s radio station, WVKR, provides a platform for student DJs to share their sound with an audience on cam pus and beyond. Acadia Lequire ’26 com ments on the uniqueness of the WVKR, say ing, “[Vassar] has a real station that you can tune into, whereas a lot of other colleges have turned to streaming online.” Each fall, stu dents can pitch new show concepts and sub mit a playlist for consideration. The applica tion also involves an interview, and once you land a spot, new DJs enter a lottery to get their show time for the year. This year, the station has 19 new student shows; below, I highlight just a few new DJs and the inspirations for their shows.

Naked Radio: Acadia Lequire ’26

Listen at 9 a.m. on Sundays

Lequire’s show “Naked Radio” is driven by stories of all kinds. She says, “[My] main goal was to make a show about people’s per sonal connection to music as a reminder that there’s no objective good music or bad mu sic.” Lequire believes that what a song means to you or how it connects to your life is more important than other people’s opinions.

Lequire explains, “I tell stories on the radio

See WVKR on page 7

Carly Rae Jepsen has done it again!

ARTS

Read Humor Editor Madi Donat's review of her fifth studio album, "The Loneliest Time."

Want to gather an army of mice in your room? Follow Nicholas Tilling hast's four steps so you can lure rodents into your space.

Guest Columnist Harrison Walker reflects on a personal connection with Waffle House.

Karen Mogami/The Miscellany News.

See

Ganesh Pillai/The Miscellany News.

THE MISCELLANY NEWS

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR SENIOR EDITOR CONTRIBUTING EDITORS

NEWS EDITORS

ARTS EDITOR FEATURES EDITOR OPINIONS EDITOR HUMOR EDITOR ASSISTANT HUMOR EDITOR SPORTS EDITOR

SOCIAL MEDIA EDITOR DESIGN EDITOR COPY EDITORS

GRAPHIC ARTISTS

VIDEO PRODUCTION MANAGER WEBMASTERS

BUSINESS MANAGER DESIGN STAFF REPORTERS, COLUMNISTS

Leila Raines Nina Ajemian Monika Sweeney Janet Song Annabelle Wang Jacques Abou-Rizk Will Sorge Ganesh Pillai Kai Speirs Sufana Noorwez Madi Donat Nicholas Tillinghast Doug Cobb Tracy Cen Maryam Bacchus Jacqueline Gill Sashinka Poor Seowon Back Tori Kim Ian Herz Rohan Dutta Chloe Gjoka Phoebe DiLeo Ruby Funfrock Carly D’Antonio Arlene Chen Katie Gebbia Allen Hale Anna Kozloski Gwen Ma Sam Patz

COPY STAFF

Danielle Recco Naima Saini Anna Terry Nick Villamil Anica Acuna Caris Lee Emma San Flilippo Meera Shroff

CORRECTION POLICY

Graphic courtesy of Sandro Luis Lorenzo ’24.

Lack of on-campus polling site violates new law, stirs frustration

(Democrat) and Erik Haight (Republican).

“Vassar would like to have a polling site on campus and is ready and eager to work with our elected officials to designate a location that is accessible and suitable to all,” he ex plained. “We were initially made aware of this law when it passed in April, and again when further guidance was shared in Au gust. The process for designating a polling location now is similar to what it has been in the past: both the Republican and Democrat ic Elections Commissioners must agree on designated polling locations in the County,” he continued.

Hopefully, the future will allow for more cooperation. Students like Felicity Rakochy ’23 have voted on campus since the pan demic began, but it is the first time she has heard about the new law. She hopes it will encourage voting for all students. She said in a written correspondence, “I think that hav ing a poll site on campus will encourage far more students to vote as it will be easier to access than having to go off campus. A lot of students (including myself) don’t have a car so going off-campus can be difficult to orga nize.”

A new on-campus polling site would aim

to mitigate student-voter suppression, which is exacerbated by Vassar’s three election dis tricts that cut through the campus. The letter to the County endorses BOE Commission er Hannah Black’s proposal, which offers a central polling site at Vassar that would have provided voting access for all three elec tion districts on campus for the midterms on Tuesday, Nov. 8. However, Dixon said, “Changes in the next month are unlikely; we are optimistic that the new Election Law will be fully implemented in the next year.”

Treasurer of Democracy Matters Sara Lawler ’23 agrees that changes are unlikely to affect this year’s election. She continued, “The timeline depends largely on how the Dutchess County Board of Elections re sponds to the letter that the coalition recently sent. My personal hopes are that Vassar has a polling location by next November for local elections, and certainly by the next presiden tial election in 2024.”

Rakochy added, “I have voted as a Vassar student before but it was during the height of the pandemic when I was at home so I used an absentee ballot. I think on-campus voting will be a lot easier if the law is implemented.”

According to Dixon, “Vassar’s separation into different districts and wards means that

our students do not all vote at the same loca tion. Students must make sure they know where their specific polling location is based on their on-campus address and/or place of residence. Vassar Votes and others on cam pus help to educate students on these issues as well as provide them with transportation in order to vote or drop off an absentee or ear ly voting ballot.”

In exchange, the College is working with the Office of Community Engaged Learning (OCEL) and Vassar Votes to get students reg istered and to educate them on the location of their designated polling site, according to Dixon. Additionally, the College is providing shuttles for Dutchess County early and dayof voting.

But Lawler brings up that not having a polling site on campus fundamentally de creases access to voting. “As it stands, Vassar is divided into three districts with two poll ing locations, one of which is not walking distance from campus, creating a barrier to access from voting for those who are re quired to vote at that site and do not have a car,” she said in a written statement.

All early voting will occur at the same polling location, which will provide shuttle services. For same-day voting, one location

will require a shuttle to be provided for reg istered voters living in Noyes, Ferry, Cushing and the Terrace Apartments. However, reg istered voters living in Josselyn, Jewett, Da vison, Raymond, Lathrop, Strong, Main or Southern Commons will have to walk about 15 minutes off campus or request a ride.

Dixon said, “We are proud of their efforts to help educate students and set them on the path of becoming engaged global citizens.” In addition to OCEL and Vassar Votes, Dixon noted that the President’s Office has been in touch with a variety of county officials, in cluding the BOE and Election Commission ers.

Rakochy wrote in a correspondence, “I am voting this year and I’ll be taking the Vassar shuttle to the polls. I won’t be on campus af ter this year but I am excited for future stu dents to use the on-campus site!”

Dixon encouraged all students who are el igible to vote, and to fight whatever difficul ties may arise. He wrote, “We are committed to working with campus and community partners to ensure that civic engagement is encouraged and supported in all ways on campus, in Poughkeepsie, and throughout the country. Please vote!”

Additional reporting by Nina Ajemian.

Leila Raines/The Miscellany News.

Community meets at Engaged Pluralism Initiative open house

The Engaged Pluralism Initiative (EPI) hosted an open house in the Aula on Wednesday, Oct. 26. Formed by several dif ferent “working groups,” EPI has taken on projects such as the Movement for Afford able Textbooks and the multimedia story telling exhibit “Communities are Critical.” Director of EPI Jonathon Kahn gave a brief presentation announcing the initiative’s goals once the grant expires this year.

Now, EPI is becoming EP, shifting to ward a more permanent, integrated role at Vassar: “We’ve been allowed to do what we wanted to do for the last five years, sort of experiment and play. Our success is that the college has decided now to bring us into its regular structure,” Kahn explained. “Part of the philosophy of EPI is that in or der to learn how to belong here, you have to know your community, and we need to break down some of the barriers that come between faculty and students, faculty and administrators. We want to make this a campus where if you need help, you have people in mind because of the work here.”

The purpose of the open house was to come together, listen to new ideas that EPI can incorporate moving forward and get feedback from the community. As EPI intern Manoshi Hassan ’25 put it: “A big part of this event was brainstorming… how EPI can move on, what projects we're going to do, what issues we should tack le on campus. The students, the faculty, the staff all reshape the campus, so we’re

brainstorming how we can improve [and] increase belonging.” Sitting with strangers over fried plantains and vanilla cupcakes, students, faculty, staff and administrators talked about ways to strengthen and better the Vassar community, jotting down their ideas on giant Post-its.

“I really liked our farm idea,” said Associ ate Dean of the College Luis Inoa, Chair of Student Living and Wellness at Vassar. His table proposed that there be a designated day where members of the Vassar commu nity collectively pause and explore the pic turesque, contemplative trails on the Farm and Ecological Preserve. He also mentioned the Wednesday time slot that Vassar allots for EPI-adjacent activities. “The college has this Wednesday 3:00-5:00 that’s supposed to be non-academic time and that’s sup posed to be community-building time. I’d like us to be more serious about that,” he said. Of EPI’s restructuring, Inoa is opti mistic: “What I found most hopeful about EPI and what I’m hoping for EP is that we find these kinds of cross-constituent par ticipation in it that allows us to, as Profes sor Kahn says, tell each other stories across our various held identities. So me as Dean and you as student would know each other differently because of EP.”

Associate Director of Campus Activities Will Rush elaborated on the ongoing “Mo ments of Joy” project. Building upon the quote board outside of the College Center and the randomly dispersed hopscotch squares appearing around campus, Rush is excited about the upcoming Give an Af

firmation, Get an Affirmation stress ball exhibit. “We’re trying to create moments to make people smile,” he explained.

In terms of restructuring, Kahn men tioned the integration of other adminis trators in areas like inclusive pedagogy, re storative practices and employee life. “My role is going to be to continue to organize working groups—more at the grassroots level … But I’ll also be working with these administrators to think about the campus broadly, cross-sectionally about what we can do to initiate and get people to talk.” He continued to say that one of the most im portant issues EPI is taking into consider

ation is students’ relationship to time. “Stu dents feel really pressured and rushed. The pace of life is fast and exhausting. Some of the things folks are talking about is that they want the feeling of life to slow down,” he said.

Khan’s best expectations for the night were realized, with discussion lively and engaged: “I was hoping we were going to have a room full of people and that all you would hear was people talking to each oth er. A room full of people’s voices.” Overall, the open house was successful in getting ev eryone at Vassar both aware of and excited about the upcoming changes to EPI.

Charlotte Robertson

Image courtesy of Charlotte Robertson '25.

Vassar community sees ‘Death of a Salesman’ on Broadway

Nathaniel Dexter Guest Reporter

This past Sunday, Oct. 30, 13 students won tickets to the Broadway perfor mance of Arthur Miller’s classic play, “Death of a Salesman” at the Hudson The ater. The ticket and train fare to New York City were also covered by the College at no cost to the students who attended.

Professor of Drama Shona Tucker, was involved in the Broadway production, serv ing as the understudy for the roles of Linda Loman, Miss Forsythe and the Jazz Singer.

The classic 1949 Pulitzer Prize winning play features the star-studded cast of Wendell

Pierce as the lead Willy Loman, three-time Olivier Award winner Sharon D. Clarke as Linda Loman, and Tony Award winner An dré De Shields as Ben, among many others. Pierce has been nominated for an Olivier Award for his performance which critics have described as “ splendid” and “electri cally alert and eager.” Pierce himself has praised the production, describing the role of Willy Loman as “the highwater of his ca reer.” He is notable to popular audiences for his work in the HBO dramas “The Wire” as Detective Bunk Moreland and in “Treme” as Antoine Batiste, among many others.

Reprised from its award winning run in

London’s West End, Olivier Award win ning director Miranda Cromwell revital izes an American Classic in this ground breaking reinterpretation of a classic text about the dangers of the American Dream and a social critique of the ’40s society which Miller captured in his work.

This production of the classic play is the first major production to feature the tra ditionally Jewish Loman family as Black, garnering acclaim from critics and au diences alike. A New York Times review reads, "Willy is a black man in a nation where white is the color of success. While he has absorbed and abides by the mythol

ogy and rules of the American dream of self-advancement, there's a part of Willy that worries the odds are fatally stacked against him."

President of the College Elizabeth Brad ley and her husband, John Bradley, were also in attendance, and Bradley gave rave reviews about the show and the experience of having a Vassar professor in the produc tion: “The show was intense and mean ingful. Meeting Professor Shona Tucker afterwards with the students was fun, espe cially because we were able to get an actor’s perspective on the experience. We are all really grateful to the ticket fund!”

David Bowie's life explored in documentary 'Moonage Daydream'

The music documentary and biopic are well-established forms in the film indus try. These two genres weaponize cross-media loyalties to music icons and find great critical and financial success as a result; “Bohemian Rhapsody” (2018) and “Rocketman” (2019) are recent examples of the music biopic com mercial/Oscar vehicle. Classic music docs like “Gimme Shelter” and “Elvis: That’s The Way It Is” (both from 1970) set the genre formula of narratives constructed through tour footage, childhood photos and interviews with music “experts” and historians, often charting trite “rise-and-fall” narratives. That being said, forget those preconceptions with director Brett Morgen’s “Moonage Daydream” (2022); this movie about influential performance and visual artist David Bowie is dense, hallu cinatory and consciously nonconformist to its genre trappings. Morgen dispenses with third-party testimonials, opting for archival footage of Bowie himself in interviews and concert performances in addition to abstract symbolic footage created by Morgen for the film.

As Bowie has been the Martian descending upon Earth, this film has descended upon the film landscape in alien glory; a sorely-needed tonal and artistic departure. During “Moonage Daydream,” often we'll hear Bowie's voice while seeing a kaleidoscopic tapestry of cuts Morgen assembled from other movies, such as “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari” (1920), “Nos feratu” (1922), “Metropolis” (1927), “Fantasia” (1940), “A Clockwork Orange” (1971) and “Blade Runner” (1982). Bowie's beautifully

tortured, angsty acting career is also exhibited in short scenes from “Labyrinth” (1986), “The Hunger” (1983), “The Man Who Fell to Earth” (1976) and “Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence” (1983). Morgen casts magic upon this rich tap estry of clips with his usage of visual effects to portray relevant themes and ideas in Bowie's music and life. He marks each new epoch in Bowie’s career with a shift in directorial style, whether it be the hazy nebulae of color on grainy film in the Ziggy Stardust years or Pol lock-esque explosions of neon paint during his late ’70s Berlin era.

As mesmerizing as this “Daydream” is, it's no mere technical exercise. Especially in the first hour, Morgen (and Bowie, in the archi val interviews used for the movie) engage in a fascinating exploration of philosophical and metaphysical issues. Both ponder the forma tion of identity, the use of artistic expression as both therapy and a defensive shield, the interdisciplinary nature of spiritual mani festation and the relationship between au dience and performer as well as between life experience and art. The dizzying array of “Sound and Vision,” to use the title of a prom inently-featured Bowie song, is at times over whelming. The movie's first half is so deep and immersive that it doesn’t even feel like a documentary but rather a heady philosophi cal exploration. In the second half, the movie "falls to earth" (to quote the name of a 1976 Bowie movie) and into some of the expected tropes of the music documentary genre. We see Bowie in Berlin in the late ’70s, talking about the motivations behind his seminal work there, and then a debate among fans and cognoscenti in the early ’80s about whether

he sold out with the 1983 album “Let's Dance.” Bowie has the last word in the film, of course, expressing that his sonic shift was meant to create joyful music that inspired happiness in his fans and in himself. The film’s second half, marked by Bowie’s changing sound, still retains the exceptional editing and genre-sub verting footage composition of the first half but scales back from an examination of the ideology underscoring Bowie’s art to an ex amination of the man himself.

On top of the virtuoso editing (which I be lieve is a shoo-in for Academy recognition), the movie explores compelling ideas regard ing Bowie's influential and early adoption of a genderfluid appearance and presentation. In archival footage, an interviewer asks Bowie whether his huge platform footwear is men’s or women's, or “bisexual” shoes, to which Bowie memorably responds, "They're shoeshoes, silly!" While “Moonage Daydream” does not address Bowie's actual sexuality (he stated he was bisexual in the ’70s, and both of his marriages were to women), Bowie used his artistic prominence to help normalize the idea of cross-dressing, asexuality, androgy ny and gender fluidity for a broad audience. Morgen digs deep into this element and cele brates what might be Bowie's most important legacy: using his status as an iconoclast and provocateur to tear down barriers in gender presentation and create a more representative society.

The movie also delves surprisingly deep into the star’s personal life, even for seasoned Bowie fans. It explains that his brother had schizophrenia, which resulted in Bowie using multimedia artistic pursuits (fine art, screen

writing, theater and film acting, poetry and music) to stave off his fear of hereditary men tal illness. Morgen frames Bowie’s pursuits as a practice of art for self-healing, suggesting that Bowie moved into a place of happiness through immersion in self-expression. We also learn that Bowie was an international traveler, curious about foreign cultures and artistic stylings—both Bowie and the viewer spend time traveling Japan, learning the mu sic and cultural customs, and studying under traditional Gamelan musicians in Indonesia.

And then there's the music. For Bowie's ac olytes, there has been an enormous need for this film, as the artist was hesitant to allow his music’s use in movies, a position adopted by his estate since his death in 2016. For that rea son, previous Bowie-inspired biopics, such as Todd Haynes’ “Velvet Goldmine” (1998) and the recent “Stardust” (2020) have lacked the much-needed spark of Bowie's music. Mor gen remedies this problem with the use of dozens of songs from his enormous catalog and enthralling archival concert footage from the ’70s and ’80s. For Bowie fans, the use of music, especially in the context of such a rich film, is mindblowing.

“Moonage Daydream” is an easy recom mendation for me, even if you're not (yet) a Bowie fan. The movie depicts consequen tial themes with great virtuosity and largely avoids the linear narrative and hagiography that plague musical documentaries. If you can't see “Moonage Daydream” in local the aters now, it will not only stream on HBO Max in 2023, but you might be able to catch the film in a return to theaters this spring if it gets the Oscar nominations I feel it deserves.

Jesse Koblin Guest Columnist

Image courtesy of Neon via Wikimedia Commons.

'History in RBG' highlights new, varied perspectives

ages, inspired by Josef Albers’ book “Inter action of Color.” In particular, Albers’ em phasis on the subjectivity and relationality of color stuck with Dumlao. She used Pho toshop to alter the original prints, obscur ing certain elements of the photographs depending on the lens used to view them. The process of tweaking the colors to get the images just right took some time, but the result is incredibly impressive. And as I looked closer at the artwork and talk ed more to Dumlao, I learned about even more details that were not immediately apparent. For instance, the colors in “Trop ical Series,” the earlier of the two projects that comprise the exhibit, all come from the “Tropical” Pantone palette, and Dum lao made this choice for a reason. “I started with selecting a palette that was Ameri can-defined,” she said. “So I started up with looking up certain colors that they associat ed with ‘Pacific’ or ‘tropical.’ I would find all these garish colors that I would not really associate with the Philippines, but they’re what the Americans would associate with the tropics.”

Along with suppressing and emphasiz ing parts of the existing images, Dumlao also made new additions to the photos. “I realized there’s a lot more in those images that’s not seen—especially stories of resis tance, especially stories of mythologies or belief systems by indigenous people that were seen as savages,” she said. So she add ed some of those beliefs back in.

For instance, one viewing of “As the first of these men came up the Filipinos bolt ed” reveals three big crocodiles behind the American soldiers. The title, which is the original caption of the photo, reinforces colonial ideas by emphasizing the strength of the Americans. But Dumlao’s reimagin

ing presents an alternative perspective. “It’s true, the Filipinos are not even in the pic ture because they ran away,” she said of her interpretation. “But what the Americans don’t realize is that the Filipinos actually ran because there’s these giant crocodiles behind the Americans that are about to de vour them.”The idea came from traditional stories and rumors Dumlao heard in the Philippines about giant crocodiles terroriz ing small villages. While it might seem fan tastical, Dumlao came across news stories about the phenomenon suggesting that the folktales might not have been so far off. “It’s a spooky story, it’s folklore—but at the same time, there’s truth in it, because there’s some evidence of it as well,” she said.

The story of this particular piece gets at the central questions the viewer is left with after seeing “History in RGB”—what does truth mean when history is being told by oppressive powers? How can we complicate the narratives we’ve been given, and un cover the alternative views that were really there the whole time?

Flipping between the colored lenses to see each image in a multitude of ways is a pow erful experience, and Dumlao intentionally designed it that way. “I wanted to evoke that whole new sense of physical and cognitive presence for the audience,” she explained.

“To look at the color change, and have the agency to control that.” This element of the show serves several purposes—for one thing, it makes the experience of viewing the exhibit more tangible and accessible. But it also urges the audience to consider our own complicity in the narratives that constantly surround us. “Everything we see is mediated,” Dumlao remarked. “We’re constantly given things and we just accept it. Even this show. But you have the choice to walk in and do this, or not.”

Loneliest Time' review: You HAVE to stan Carly Rae Jepsen

Madi Donat Humor Editor

If your last memory of Carly Rae Jepsen is from her 2012 hit single “Call Me Maybe,” you have a lot of catching up to do.

Since the release of her 2015 album “Emo tion,” Jepsen has transformed into a pop vi sionary, but unfortunately, her star power has not surpassed her tight circle of adoring fans. While Jepsen may not be the stadi um-blockbuster pop princess that her fans wish she was, they (we) can rest easy know ing that she has been consistently putting out high-quality, uber-fun pop albums since her first hit single a decade ago.

“The Loneliest Time” is Jepsen’s fifth fulllength album, following her 2019 release “Dedicated.” Her latest project has 13 tracks with an additional three bonus tracks. While the bonus tracks are fun, the main 13 are where the album truly shines.

One of the first lead singles off of this al bum is the fun-time banger “Beach House,” a jam about hooking up with more and more dubious men for the thrill of it, even while acknowledging the risks involved. Jepsen deals with this weighty and slightly scary topic with her usual cheekiness, toeing the line between fun and fear.

Another lead single off the album is

“Talking to Yourself,” an appropriately up beat dance-pop anthem questioning the subject’s loyalties. This certainly isn’t my favorite off of the album, but it was a good single to put forward, as it lays out the al bum’s general vibe and central themes of hookups and infidelity in a clean, well-pro duced track.

Of the lead singles, the best by far is her collaboration with Canadian singer-song writer Rufus Wainwright, who is known for his contributions to baroque and operatic pop in the early 2000s. The title track “The Loneliest Time,” is an upbeat synth master piece with throwbacks to the ’80s, accompa

nied by Wainwright’s signature strings and soothing voice. It is only appropriate that this track was the one to go viral on TikTok— perhaps you are familiar with the line “I’m comin’ back for you, baby! I’m comin’ back for you!”

Despite Jepsen’s clear talent for dance pop, I find her slower tracks to be just as impact ful, if not more so. The guitar-led ballad “Go Find Yourself or Whatever,” detailing the pain of calling off a relationship even when you know it’s the right thing to do, exhibits mature lyricism shrouded in deflective iro ny. “Bends,” while slightly more upbeat and synth-led, expertly lays out the feeling of longing for someone alongside poetic lyri cism and amazing production by Bullion, the pseudonym of Nathan Jenkins.

Alternating between groovy, dance-y and vibey, there is not a bad song on this album. I’d especially like to shout out open er “Surrender My Heart,” simply because it is a quintessential Jepsen track. With its thickly-textured synth drums and lyrics about trying to open up to someone you love, it conjures up past hits like “I Really Like You” and “Run Away With Me” (the latter of which is, as everyone knows, the best-written song of all time).

Jepsen doesn’t stray far from her comfort zone with this album, but that’s not a bad thing. She is exactly in her wheelhouse with “The Loneliest Time,” updating her pop for a 2022 world while never missing with her lyrics, melodies and production. If you are at all a fan of Jepsen, this album is for you. And if you’re not… well, you should really get on that.

'

Ganesh Pillai/The Miscellany News.

Images courtesy of Andy Witchger via Wikimedia Commons.

WVKR features a variety of new student shows

about specific people that I’ve taken stories from or interviewed about what a song or al bum meant to them.” She also tries to tie in stories about how her home state of Tennes see has influenced music history.

Some of her stories come from a very special 18th birthday gift. She describes, “I’ve always had this collection of cassettes, and most of them are given to me by family members with a story in them about why that cassette was important to them around when they were 18 and going to college.” One older cousin wrote to her to say his Dad was so mad that the first cassette he bought was an explicit Warren G album that he melted it in the toaster oven. Lequire says that this story gave her a glimpse into her cousin’s childhood, and now she always thinks of him when listening to that album.

Lequire can always pull from this collec tion of personal stories, but she doesn’t think she’ll have a problem finding new ones citing the multitude of new people she has met—all of whom contain countless personal stories. She believes you can learn a lot about people through their music, explaining, “If you ask people questions about themselves they like to share and they’ll tell you about their whole life when you ask them about a song that they really liked when they were 18.”

When prepping for shows, Lequire told me that she likes to do research on the songs that she intends to play; specifically looking

to do is delve into that collection. I want to wean off of online music and take advantage of all the CDs they have and find new music that way.”

Karuta: Sachi Joo ’25

Listen at 10 a.m. on Mondays

For each show, exchange student Sachi Joo ’25 centers her music programming around one word. The show title, “karuta,” comes from the word-based Japanese card game of the same name. Joo explains, “In my show, I go through the ABCs and I think of Japanese words that start with that letter, and then I make playlists that go along with that mean ing.” Joo says this method helps structure her planning but that really she lets the music drive her choices. She told me, “I have songs that I think are good and would want people to listen to, and then I make that a more ab stract theme.”

Joo’s sets include half-English and half-Jap anese music, with some conversation ex plaining Japanese language and culture mixed in between. As an exchange student from Tokyo, Joo seeks to incorporate her cul ture into her time on the air. Joo hopes that music can be a unique way to expose people to her culture, noting, “I want people to be more exposed to things about Japan that they otherwise wouldn’t have been in contact with.”

Earworms for Bookworms: Liv Dussere ’25

Listen at 1 a.m. on Tuesdays

because I’m trying to incentivize myself to read more.” For example, Dussere is current ly reading To The Lighthouse and hopes to incorporate that into a future show.

On planning each show, Dussere com ments, “Sometimes I’ll be inspired by one particular character or a particular emotion or vibe, and it’s also really influenced by what I listen to, which is a lot of folk and indie and

with the booth so far has been that it feels like a very private space in a very calming way,” she adds.

At The Moment (ATM): Grace Skakel ’24 and Lauren Showalter ’24 Listen on Thursdays at 2 a.m.

With their show “ATM,” Grace Skakel ’24 and Lauren Showalter ’24 curate music around a specific moment in time. Showalter explains that the show idea came from their shared love for making playlists about spe cific situations. Showalter informed me that their sets have gotten pretty abstract, citing the time their theme was “when you find the perfect pair of pants.” Skakel says that they often try to pick a shared moment to explore, remarking, “We were surprised by how many memories we have together.”

To plan each show, Skakel and Showalter make a shared playlist that they add songs to throughout the week. Skakel explains, “Each of us chooses about half of the songs that are played in the hour, and then when we’re sit ting down together we hear them for the first time.” Skakel says that this approach helps expose them to new sounds, saying, “I think we’ve each been listening to a lot more music because we’re trying to find smaller indepen dent artists and branching out.”

Despite their late time slot, the duo have still enjoyed their experiences recording their show: “Because [the studio] is so comfy and we’re listening to music, it makes it really enjoyable and worth staying up for.” Show alter adds that in addition to having two sets of hands to operate the faders, “It’s nice to bounce off of each other’s energy.”

for connections to Tennessee. She adds that because she is finding new music through other people’s connections to it, her playlists often include songs she hasn’t heard before. Lequire is also inspired by the thousands of CDs at the station, saying, “What I can’t wait

On her show, Liv Dussere ’25 plays music inspired by books. Dussere's inspiration for starting a radio show stemmed from her passion for making playlists to process what she's going through at the time. She explains, “Part of the reason [I picked this theme] was

a lot of ’60s and ’70s music.”

To branch out and include new music, Dussere hopes to invite co-hosts on the show, from students at Vassar to friends back home. “I’m having fun and trying to make it social even though I think that my experience

Skakel says they also get to chat between songs, and sometimes her parents listen along from the West Coast and send videos of themselves dancing along to the songs. Ultimately, Skakel says, “I hope [listeners] get some giggles.”

Image courtesy of WVKR via WVKR.org.

Image courtesy of Clara Alger '26.

Image courtesy of Sachi Joo '25.

Students get involved in the local fight for reproductive rights

maintain his spot in the U.S. House of Rep resentatives.

Ryan’s campaign focuses on one key is sue: reproductive rights. His pro-choice stance pushed him to win this August, and it continues to be central in his fight to win re-election. The election on Nov. 8 will be Ryan’s chance to maintain his seat in Con gress and further defend the right to choose in New York.

I was able to speak to Ryan and ask him about his plans for continuing the fight for abortion rights and the importance of events like this march. “At a moment where re productive rights [and] abortion rights are under direct attack, we have to stand up, we have to make sure we keep this front and center,” said Ryan. “I think rallies and raising public awareness are really important.”

Sophie Mode ’25, also present at the march, has gotten involved with Ryan’s campaign. “The most important thing you can do is make sure people know about Pat Ryan,” urged Mode. “It’s a really important election and people just don’t really know who he is, so the biggest thing you can do is talk to people who live in Poughkeepsie about his pro-choice stance.” As for getting involved in the final days of the campaign, she suggested canvassing opportunities pre sented on Nov. 5, 6, 7, and 8. There will be virtual phone banking options as well as in person events going door-to-door to raise awareness.

“I think there’s a lot of ways to plug into a campaign…whether it’s knocking on doors, making phone calls, [sending] texts, certain ly [actions] on campus…” shared Ryan. He continued, “We would love to connect with

students in any way that are willing to be a part of our campaign.”

Even after this election, there are many ways to get involved with abortion issues on campus. Hannah Oppenheim ’23 and Felicity Rakochy ’23 are the co-presidents of Vassar Voices for Planned Parenthood (VVPP), a campus organization centered around reproductive rights and health. They spoke to me about some specific ways VVPP allows students to get involved. “We do clinic escorting every week at the Pough keepsie Planned Parenthood,” said Rakochy.

“[This is] a really easy and effective way to get involved with reproductive justice on campus.” Clinic escorting entails walking patients from their car into the Planned Par

enthood building and offering them support amid the anti-abortion protestors constantly camped outside.

Additionally, VVPP is holding a “Sex on Sundaes” event this Sunday, Nov. 6. “Our event that’s coming up will give students the opportunity to see what birth control options and health care options there are available on campus and hear from an actual [health care] provider,” said Oppenheim. Along with build-your-own ice-cream sundaes, the Vassar gynecologist will be at the event ready to answer any questions students have about reproductive health and resources.

Following the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade this summer, Planned Parenthoods’ very existence is at stake.

“We try to incorporate political ideas into [conversations about] reproductive health, which is important especially now,” Oppen heim said. Being politically aware is key to actively participating in the constant fight for reproductive justice.

Tuesday, Nov. 8 is Vassar students’ most important opportunity for involvement in maintaining abortion rights. Whether that be voting in the local elections here in Pough keepsie or mailing in your absentee ballot to your home state, the upcoming elections are vital in preserving our reproductive rights— your vote matters. “Our district is one of the top ten battlegrounds in our country,” Pat Ryan told me. “We’re counting on students to be engaged and coming out to vote.”

Writer shares personal connection to Waffle House

Harrison Walker Guest Columnist

Ilove Waffle House. This October Break, I returned to my local Waffle House in Florence, SC, and it was a homecoming. As soon as my brother and I walked in, we were greeted by one of our regular wait resses with a large smile on her face. “Hey boys! Welcome back! How’s college going, are y’all on break or something?” We each ordered a coffee and water, our usual. My brother and I locked eyes with each other and smiled, silently exchanging a mutual understanding: We were home.

Waffle House's legacy is spread region ally. According to the company website, Waffle House was founded in 1955, and now has over 1900 stores across 25 states, mostly in the South. The nearest Waffle House to Vassar is a 140-mile trek, just out side of Allentown, PA. There are 171 Waffle Houses in South Carolina, the fourth-most of any state. My local Waffle House is fran chise #1840 (I’ve known this by heart for four years since the number is posted on the back wall of each franchise!) off exit 170 of I-95. The news knows this exit for recently becoming home to the northern most Buc-ee's (a famous Texan gas station) on the East Coast—I know it for my Waffle House. Florence is approximately halfway between New York City and Miami, so it’s a stopping point for drivers quite frequently. However, my experience is as a longtime regular. I’ve lived in Florence my whole life, my grandmother lives a few houses down the road and the hospital I was born in is 20 minutes away from my house. #1840 is closer. I have relationships with the staff there. A man, named Kirk, worked the grill for a lot of my early life,

and it was sad to see him move to a different job. Danielle is a server there, and my fam ily has known her through the birth of two kids; we bought a gift for her second baby shower. The name of a server we had most recently slips my mind, but I know her and her face, just as well as she knows mine.

And I’m not the only one who sees Waffle Houses as the community’s cornerstone. FEMA utilizes a system deemed the “Waf fle House Index” to determine how harshly a city or area has been hit by a natural di saster such as a hurricane. Waffle Houses, famous for being open 24/7 and never lock ing up, very rarely close. So if the Waffle House in an area closes, it’s a sign that an area is devastated. If Waffle House is on a limited menu, an area still needs help but not to the same degree. They are the life blood of their towns to the point that our very government uses them to check for a pulse.

As I ramble on about how important Waffle House is to me and its larger cultur al effect, I must mention the food. My or der is as follows: “I’d like an All-Star Special with a regular waffle, white toast, bacon, eggs scrambled well, large hashbrowns, scattered, smothered and a coffee.” All this is $8.50 including tax, with a small up charge for large hashbrowns.

Speaking of hashbrowns, I ought to ex plain the hashbrown lingo. “Scattered” and “smothered” stand for “loose” and “with onions mixed in.” If you don’t want your hashbrowns loose, you would say “in the ring.” If you want cheese, you say “covered,” for ham you say “chunked,” for mushrooms you say “capped.” With many other combi nations, there are 768 different possible hashbrown orders. My meal is big, heavy

and cholesterol-intensive, but boy howdy it’s delicious.

Whenever they’re not cooking, they’re cleaning. I know that some people view Waffle House as unsanitary, and the only reason one would think that is because, unlike most restaurants, you can actually see the kitchen. If you look closer, though, there’s little grime to be found. My dad has worked in the restaurant business, and trust me, you don’t want to see the kitchen of an Olive Garden or a Chili’s. At Waffle House, the kitchen is spick and span, and they keep it that way.

And the service is incredible. The com pany notably refers to their staff on name tags as “associates” and “salespeople” as op posed to “waiters” and “waitresses,” as well as “grill operator” instead of cook. Watch ing the staff do their work is like watching

a symphony. The associates call out the orders in lingo and the grill operators start setting plates, using small amounts of in gredients as code for what each portion of the plate is. A salesperson not taking or ders is mopping the floor or washing dish es. Waffle batter goes in the press, bacon and hashbrowns start sizzling, eggs go in the pan and my food comes in under sev en minutes. All the while, my coffee cup never goes below half full. They say “Good Food Fast,” and they mean it.

If you aren’t already a fan, give Waffle House a chance. It’s a wonderful restaurant with good comfort food, and it’s consistent. Whether it’s your local franchise or you’re merely a vagabond passing through the area, it’s worth a stop. And if you ever find yourself going through South Carolina on I-95, pay dear old #1840 a visit.

Image Courtsey of Harrison Walker '26.

Image courtesy of Emma Adams '25.

I spent the night in the Comedy Cellar: A review

Max Norman Guest Columnist

Had I known that the Fat Black Pussy cat cared so fervently about 19-yearolds not drinking alcohol, I would’ve put up a fight about entering. I should’ve seen it coming. The Pussycat, sister location to Manhattan’s famed Comedy Cellar, clearly knows its reputation as comedy’s crème-dela-crème and can’t falter due to some under age drunkard scandal. While I could’ve tried sweet-talking the joint’s boulder-shaped bouncer (whose name tag, reading “King,” carried more cool than my entire frame), I met him while standing small in between my parents, so he would’ve laughed as loud as the crowd inside. Some might find it weird that my parents and I were seeing stand-up comedy together; we’re all legally adults, but the experience might be akin to a sex scene striking the screen during Family Movie Night. But we all love to laugh, and the chance to see a show at a historic venue like the Comedy Cellar seemed too good to pass up. So, in we went, Mom and Dad and me, with twin Sharpie Xs scrawled on my hands forbidding me from ordering any thing stronger than a Diet Coke. After ordering my soda and debating if I had the cajones to get cheese fries (I didn’t), the show began with our Master of Ceremo nies, who I’ll call Diana. Diana, in military boots so cartoonishly proportioned they had to be designer, warmed up the audi ence from New York City’s windy autumn chill with a tale of her recent trip to Las Vegas. Specifically, she narrowed in on the dude who invited her and her friends to his cabana then slipped MDMA in her water. While the drugging revelation led to some laughs, the ensuing silence brimmed with

a tension that, while necessary for a great punchline, seemed a little poorly matched with Diana’s role as MC. Of course, Diana was a pro. She brought us up to the edge of discomfort before her next line—“Once I drank that water…I had the GREATEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE!”—brought everyone to cheers and applause. She then introduced our five comedians, named pseudonymous ly here as Smoothie, The Haunted, Mars, Caffeine and Flanagan. I’d like to unpack the common threads that provided a strange narrative throughline to these otherwise discrete standup sets so we can all learn what fascinates the upstarts of NYC comedy.

Theme one: eating ass. The comedians, specifically the men, of that night’s Cellar show used eating someone’s ass as synecdo che for a limitless array of banal sexual anxi eties. Now, I may be a fool, but even I under stand that eating ass just seems so strange and downright newfangled to the average audience that it’s bound to get a laugh. I couldn’t help but feel that something deeper lay beneath the shock value. Even Smooth ie, a man defined by his onstage noncha lance, started breaking a sweat as he opined that “young people” ate ass. It seemed these comedians, who couldn’t have been older than 35, assumed that urban sophisticate 20-somethings exclusively and constantly ate ass. Maybe the oldest Gen-Z comrades secretly stash banquets of buttocks in their 10-square-foot apartments where there isn’t even room for sex lying down. Anyway, why all this fear of the rear? I heard the phrase “eating ass” more times that one night, sit ting beside my parents, mind you, than I’ve heard in my entire life prior. It’s consuming these poor wayward souls; at night, I imag ine, they quiver in rumpled bed sheets (espe

cially The Haunted, whose phantom-esque figure and clear struggles with self-loathing gave major “nighttime quivering” vibes) and worry that the next date they go on might be the The One. Not the one to marry, not a life partner, but a bond many would call even more sacred: the bond of your rump being their Sunday dinner. The comedians of the new New York care deeply about the going-ons of hypothetical butt-munchers.

Theme two: children. As far as I could tell, the only actual parent in the lineup was Mars, who was also the only woman and oldest person there. When her set wasn’t trafficking in the crotchety get-off-mylawn-ya-blue-haired-freaks transphobia of recent Dave Chappelle, she explained how her adult son isn’t a good person. I wonder why. Still, her incisive critique of her son’s life as “messy” and his personality as “me diocre” at least held the weight of actually raising the dude. In comparison, Flanagan, whose voice sounded like the lead singer of Modest Mouse during their “yelpy” songs, went on an anti-natalist rant about how he shouldn’t have kids because he thinks he might murder them for disagreeing with him. Kudos for emotional honesty; the lines delivered in the voice of a Muppet’s panic at tack were pretty damn funny, but it was a sharp turnaround from 30-year-old sexual frustration to threatening—not of just any fictional child, but of your own fictional child. It has always felt backwards to me when comedians talk about little kids as if they’re evil mongrels. Frankly, most kids between the ages of four and 10 are funnier than any adult comedian I’ve ever known, including myself. The comedy world should be looking towards anklebiters as the cut ting edge of surrealist comedy, like when a

10-year-old at a summer camp asked me if I’ve ever “made butt soup” and then started making financial five-year-plans for me. Us grown and withered specimens will literally never be that funny.

Theme three: rampant nervous en ergy. This last one is less of a topic than a tone, but particularly The Haunted and Caf feine appeared absolutely humming with so much manic energy that my mom assumed Caffeine had sniffed some good cocaine. He clutched the microphone like the runt of a tee-ball game as his eyes darted around the Pussycat, and he frantically explained that he was caught somewhere between the ages of liking Dua Lipa and having a 401k. The Haunted vibrated and paced less than Caf feine, but his entire set involved him saying that he was unpleasant to look at and that it was a miracle he’d ever had sex, which he as sured us he wasn’t great at. Honestly, while The Haunted seemed like a nice enough young man, the artless way he unveiled his self-hating neuroses genuinely bummed me out a little. I can only imagine how I’d have responded if I'd been under enough influence to unlock more empathy. Part of what made Smoothie’s cool indifference and Mars’ old-lady apathy stand out was the electric anxiety arcing through the room while the other three delivered their sets. Their tension energized and exhausted me. So what did I learn from the Comedy Cellar? I learned that I should worry more about conceptual ass-eating and that chil dren, both real and imaginary, totally suck, and now I think I get kinder when I drink. But ultimately, I learned nothing except how the comedy of the new old New York seems a whole hell of a lot like all the other comedy out there. But fuck it, I’m laughing.

The difficulty of keeping in touch with your parents

Emma Goss Guest Columnist

Since getting to Vassar, time has become warped. As a first-year, I find the most perplexing aspect of college to be time. What is 15 minutes anymore? It used to be a lengthy period of time when I could read, finish up homework quickly, eat a bag of pretzels. Now, 15 minutes is a high stakes environment: In the 15 minutes I have be fore class, I not only brush my teeth and drop my phone in the toilet (and then em barrassingly wash it off in the sink in front of one of my hallmates), but I also try to “make my bed” and gulp down a breakfast bar in silent chews so as not to wake the roomie. 15 minutes is everything, which is why I’ve had such a hard time keeping in touch with my parents. It is increasingly impossible to find time to call them.

The most frustrating aspect of the dis connect with my parents isn’t just the fact

"The most frustrating aspect of the disconnect with my parents isn’t just the fact that there isn’t a lot of time to talk, but that I don’t even know what to talk about."

that there isn’t a lot of time to talk, but that I don’t even know what to talk about. To give you an idea, here is a list of some of the more “significant” messages my parents have received from me the past few weeks:

In Italian, I learned that a singular panini is a panino.

I cried after astronomy class…again. Had boba today!

*sends picture of laundry spilled all over the ground between washer and dryer*

I’m pretty sure that a lot of other firstyears can relate to the constant struggle of having so much to say, but only the least meaningful words actually come out. It’s a weird paradoxical effect that I am still try ing to figure out. What I really want to tell them is:

I wish more people were counting down the days to Thanksgiving break as publicly as I am.

I seem to feel the most uncomfortable in the mornings, and I don’t know why.

I’m worried my roommate hates my music taste and so everything I queue on Spotify are songs I only partially like. I miss Billy Joel.

Ever since getting here I feel like I’ve been holding my breath—sometimes it’s in that really exhilarating wow-I’ve-neverheld-my-breath-this-long kind of way, but mostly I just miss my exhales. I miss my bedroom.

There is so much to say and no time to say it. No way to say it. I feel myself slowly gravitating towards humor as a means to communicate, and I hate that. I hate how my parents seem to be doing the same. My father responds to nearly all my life up dates with the “thumbs up” feature of iMes

sage (a known parent favorite), while my mother is a huge fan of the emoji-response.

Trying to convey to them what every thing has been like since getting here would be like scratching at the largest itch. I don’t need them to see me gnaw at that, and I don’t need them to see me upset ei ther. But, on the other hand, I want them to understand. The first semester of college is arguably one of the most profound peri ods of change I will go through—and I’d like to be able to easily translate this into text, FaceTime or email.

I talked to some other first-years about their experiences with trying to keep in touch with family back home, and many are having equally challenging experienc es. Kate Billow ’26, told me that she isn’t a big texter to begin with and so when she gets the “Hi, how was your day?” text, she feels confused on how to reply: “It’s hard er to text someone when you’re not in the same place… harder to convey all the in tricacies of each other's lives.” Iris Li ’26 guiltily said that she (accidentally) cut her parents out of her life due to communica tion hassles.

Seeing my parents during Fall Break put some of this disconnect into perspective, as I realized that they are having the same problems. It is just as hard for them to keep in touch with me as it is for me to keep in touch with them. Much to my dismay, I found out that since I’ve left my parents have inside jokes with each other and that their schedule is completely full despite my absence. Time keeps going, warped or not. This realization has helped me accept the frustration of trying to communicate

meaningfully. Ultimately, it’s a hard job: Trying to find ways to communicate mean ingfully despite being halfway across the country. I wish that having the most to say to them didn’t equate to an absurd amount of confusion regarding how to say it. I have, however, found two ways that help, if only a little.

1. Handwritten letters! Even though it’s not ideal if you hate writing by hand, sending letters to my family has helped me gather my thoughts. It’s easy to be deep when you know your mother isn’t on the other side of her iPhone watching those three dots slide back and forth while you type out your message.

2. Daily pictures! Even though this may seem just as shallow as sending a “Today I learned that a singular panini is a panino” text, it has helped me get back a sense of rhythm with my parents. Whether it’s a picture of some outrageous Deece food or of my friends underneath the recent rain bow, pictures help make things more ca sual—which is ultimately what I imagine most first-years also miss about their rela tionships.

I’ve found that simply acknowledging that communication is innately wacky, especially the first semester of college, has helped. We are always here. We never leave! And so the expectation to commu nicate everything is absurd. So yes, I’ll call my mom on Sunday if I get the chance and try to send my grandparents a letter in the mail because it’ll make me feel better, but I don’t feel bad anymore about sending silly or shallow texts to people back home. I’m trying and God, it’s only been nine weeks.

The Monstrous Miscellany: Members of our Upper Executive Board share some of their spooky costumes from the weekend

Nina Ajemian Managing Editor

Monika Sweeney Senior Editor

Leila Raines Editor-in-Chief

Nina Ajemian ’23, Dhriti Swarup ’23, Saumya Arya ’23, Michelle Wu ’23 and Alisha Gupta ’23 as the Pixie Hollow fairies (Tinkerbell, Fawn, Rosetta, Silvermist and Iridessa). Nina Ajemian/The Miscellany News.

Jules Cianciotta ’24 as Curious George, Monika Sweeney ’24 as Dorothy, Christina Rooney ’24 as Sharon Tate. Monika Sweeney/The Miscellany News.

Kali vom Eigen ’23 as Gonzo, Leila Raines ’23 as Miss Piggy, Hailey Osika ’23 as Kermit the Frog, Emma Sager er ’23 as Beaker, Melanie Carolan ’23 as Fozzie Bear. Leila Raines/The Miscellany News.

Breaking News

Students collectively rediscover vegetables: Updates on effects of increased fiber intake to follow

A quick guide to getting absolutely, positively baked

Alyssa Willeford Social Smoker

Getting absolutely baked is a classic col lege experience and one I would defi nitely encourage you to try during your time at Vassar. Of course, you do need to be careful; the process can lead to overindul gence, and it can also be extremely smoky. Furthermore, many dorms limit such activities, so it’s best to check with your Student or House Fellow beforehand, just to see what the rules are. Still, in my opin ion, there’s no better way to spend a Sunday afternoon than crafting a delicious, freshfrom-the-oven treat. Mmm-mmm!

Despite its reputation as an activity fa vored by sad teenage girls, baking can be unexpectedly difficult, both technically and emotionally. Even if all you’re mak ing is box-mix brownies, the line between tasty snack and blob of sadness can be a fine one—and the dessert can also turn out badly. Still, with the right ingredients, the right equipment and the right attractive, charming author to guide you through the process, you’ll be sure to turn out a deli cious product every time. Ready? On your marks, get set…bake!

The first hurdle is choosing the baked good you’ll attempt to craft. Did you know

that the aroma of a freshly-opened recipe book is a powerful psychoactive drug? It’s true! Under the influence of this high ly-potent substance, even novice cooks somehow gain the mistaken impression that they are in any way prepared to at tempt complex feats like correctly baking

your friends!

Once you’ve chosen the recipe, it’s time to gather your ingredients. The key chal lenge in this step is noticing the absence of a few key items and the absence of any willingness on your part to haul your butt to the grocery store and buy them. This means that you will inevitably be crafting your dessert with some constraints. But don’t worry—a dessert made without the right kind of sugar can still be delicious, and that “life hack” you found on the in ternet involving Splenda and vigorous stirring will definitely work. The ability to overcome self-imposed, objectively stupid obstacles is the mark of a skilled baker!

macarons, properly frosting seven-layer cakes and finally overcoming their deepest trauma by means of consuming gluten. I would keep it simple and stick to a nice batch of chocolate chip cookies. They’re difficult to mess up, even for you, and the baking time—about nine minutes—is just long enough for a quick fit of sobbing. Afterward, you can even share them with

Third, simply follow the recipe. This is as easy as doing the Hokey Pokey: Simply go down the list, follow each step and try but fail to not look like a massive idiot. Then, at step seven, once you’ve gotten the batter mixed, the oven preheated and hun gry friends arriving in half an hour, you can enjoy the inevitable realization that you were supposed to let everything rest overnight. As everyone knows, extreme stress is one of the best flavorings for any baked good.

As you take dainty bites of your charred brick, don’t forget the fourth step in the

Poetry Corner

baking process: reflection! Of course, you should spend time considering how you might have done your bake differently—a good first step would probably have been to simply purchase an equivalent item from Costco—but you can also take this oppor tunity to contemplate the life choices that have led you to this point. Why would you seek fulfillment from a lump of flour? What kind of a state of mind must you have been in to put Splenda, of all things, in a batch of peanut butter cookies? And how on Earth are you going to get away with not cleaning up the giant mess in the dorm’s shared kitchen, considering that everyone heard you in there singing along to Taylor Swift and crying for the past two hours?

Well, friends, I can’t answer these ques tions for you—you’ll have to answer them yourselves. But remember this: Each time you prepare something tasty, each time you break out your flour and sugar and open up that oven door, you’ll get better and better at it. Soon, you might be singe ing those brownies only a little bit around the edges. And when you get to that point? You’ll be able to get out of your head a little bit and just relax and enjoy the show. Tru ly, getting baked can open your mind.

From the desk of Madi Donat, Humor Editor

Anna Kozloski

"The ability to overcome self-imposed, objectively stupid obstacles is the mark of a skilled baker!"

The wily and winsome coquette Grew bored of tall blondes and brunettes; She retired her ways And now spends her days In a submarine bugle quartet.

ARIES March 21 | April 19

HOROSCOPES

Madi Donat Astral Projector

Recovering from a weekend of party ing takes time, so sleep well and often. But sometimes, you sleep too much and then need to recover from that, too. Life is unfair like that, but let this spark curiosity instead of resignation. Do (small, ethical) experi ments on yourself to see how things make you feel!

LIBRA September 23 | October 22

I’ve been engaging a little too much in inter net drama lately, which is a bit of an L on my part. But a guilty pleasure is still a pleasure. It can be fun to be a hater or at the very least just a little bit nosy, especially if it’s about people you don’t know and will never meet. Everything in moderation, though.

TAURUS April 20 | May 20

Wearing lots of silly jewelry is something that can actually be so personal. I think we need to bring back chunky costume jewels, like those plastic beads they hand out on Mardi Gras or the giant rings and necklac es that you get from Party City. I just think that being gaudy is neat and fun. It’s not just for Halloween!

SCORPIO October 23 | November 21

Halloween is great, but taking down all your decorations can be sad. Just remem ber, though, that Halloween doesn’t have to end on Nov. 1! Just keep those decorations up for as long as they bring you joy… or at least until your roommates begin to com plain to you about it. Even then, though, there’s leeway.

GEMINI May 21 | June 20

Sometimes I feel like I’m a bad student or a bad employee, and then I remember that I’m probably doing OK, all things considered. Everyone thinks they’re worse than they are. But if you are worried about your moti vation, try and make work fun for you! Do work on the floor, or whatever. Whatever is good for you.

SAGITTARIUS November 22 | December 21

New hobbies are the best. It makes me feel like a god whenever I learn something new. This week, cultivate interesting, niche hob bies. I, for one, have been trying to get better at “The Sims” (which is now FREE ON STEAM BY THE WAY). I’m such a gamer girl. Be a gamer girl (gender neutral) this week.

CANCER June 21 | July 22

If you’re anxious about something this week, don’t be. Just kidding—I know it’s not that easy. But sometimes it is nice to remind yourself that things might not always be as terrifying as they seem. Write down all of the things you’re most scared of on a piece of paper and then look them in the eyes. Or don’t. I’m not a therapist.

CAPRICORN December 22 | January 19

Living in an apartment has really remind ed me of the brevity of life, particularly the brevity of the life of fruits. This week, cher ish the produce in your life, and remind yourself how lucky you are to have known them in this ever-fleeting crossing of your paths. Thank the Universe, and then get that Vitamin C.

LEO July 23 | August 22

This is a week for discovery. Perhaps you will find buried treasure somewhere around campus, or maybe your discov eries will be sadder, like about how you interact with other people or realizing you definitely aren’t eating enough veg etables. But any discovery is a good one, right? Maybe this week you’ll discover the answer to that.

AQUARIUS January 20 | February 18

I’m currently rekindling my past romance with JSTOR. It is very exciting to revisit an old flame, especially when said old flame has thousands of articles on every arts/human ities topic you could ever hope for. Some times it’s nice to invite people back into your life, provided that you know they will make your life better.

VIRGO August 23 | September 22

Sometimes I get too obsessed with my work, and I worry that I’m becoming allergic to fun. This week, reintroduce some whimsy into your life. Go on an adventure and look at small amphibious creatures, or collect rocks and paint fac es on them. Maybe mix up a fun concoc tion in your kitchen like you’re reliving your childhood potion-making days.

PISCES February 19 | March 20

Trying and failing is definitely worse than trying and succeeding, but it’s bet ter than not trying at all! That’s what the wise green alien from the Star War said, right? (I do not want to get sued by the Big Mouse.) Put yourself out there this week, and remember that even if you fail, you learned something. Fail you must.

HUMOR

Harbor a family of mice over the winter: A four-step program

Nicholas Tillinghast Meese Expert

Iam currently housing 12-25 uninvited la dybugs on my ceiling at this time. They showed up sometime during Fall Break, and they have not left. I kinda like them, though. We're like a friend group, me and the 17 la dybugs on my ceiling. They’re helpful guys that eat a lot of uncool insects, which is sur prising because out of all insects I know, la dybugs are the most shaped like a soccer ball and soccer balls don’t eat insects. The bugs mostly just chill on the ceiling, except that one time when one crawled into my empty water pitcher. That wasn’t cool.

Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “I don’t want ladybugs in my room—I want mice,” which is a common thought. Lucki ly, I have a few tricks down my collar to help you out.

I’m gonna run you through a four-step program for housing mice over the winter that you can remember through the acro nym “BLOW,” which you can remember by using the mnemonic, “It would BLOW if I don’t have any mice this winter.”

Step 1: Bring in the Ants

A lot of people, when they say to them selves, “I want mice,” forget this initial step. Don’t forget it. You need to have ants in your room to increase the Mouse Affability Score (MAS) of your room. Every room has a MAS based on a number of factors, such as avail ability of food, mouse-friendly layout and general vibe. Most rooms are actually quite high at around five, which is generally un welcoming to mice as the MAS is a descend ing scale with a high of six and a low of nega tive one. I can help you get down to a negative one.

When it comes to bringing in ants, it's a well-known fact that ants love Gatorade Zero, so it's generally pretty effective to just leave a cap filled with it on the floor, I’ve found. If one ant finds it, the rest of them are sure to retrace that ant's steps to get to that sweet nectar. Medium ant presence can decrease your MAS by at least half a point. Most people don’t realize that ants and mice actually get along very well. They get along

better than those gators with dirty teeth and the birds that clean them, a process which is “similar to flossing” as Northwood Dental of Clearwater, FL explained via Facebook on June 3, 2020 at 9:44 a.m. To put it simply, mice like ants sort of like how humans like Bingo.

Step 2: Lure mice

In my experience, the magic number for an indoor ant population is 226. If you count any more than that, open your window and move the subsidiary ants outside. They will have to find their own way in the world. Now in this second step, you need to contin ue creating mouse-friendly fixtures. Mice

family of mice because then there’s a better chance that one of them will exhibit “Stuart Little intangibles.” Provide them with little clothes and see if they wear them like people do. Now, you might be saying, “Nick, canon ically, Stuart Little is not a mouse but a boy who was born incredibly small and has a significant number of mouse-like features.” What I would say to that is that “Stuart Little” is a book, and this is real life.

Something you can do with your mice friends is watch “Breaking Bad.” The tight writing and dark atmosphere of the show are sure to envelop them for all six seasons over the course of the winter.

Step 4: Wish them well

Hopefully, the winter was a joyous and fruitful experience for you and your mice compadres. This last step is the hardest. Winter will eventually end. The sun will return, and you will cry when you have to return four mice back into the real world. Mice are weak creatures. Whenever I look at Chuck E. Cheese, I never think, “This mouse has really got it together.” They need people like you to help them out. Tell your self, “They will remember me.” Chances are you will never see them again as they scur ry away, but as they say in show business, a mouse never forgets.

love Sports Illustrated, especially when Tom Brady is in it. Scientists aren’t entirely sure why this is, but many theorize that they like his “winner’s mentality.”

Once Sports Illustrated is introduced along with the ants, the MAS will have de creased by at least two points, suggesting a high potential for mouse inclusion. This is when the initial mouse arrives, in which case you should provide them with bolognese sauce and noodles, a mouse treat. When the mouse returns to its family, they will discuss the bolognese sauce. If it’s discussed favor ably, four to six mice will soon be active in your room. At this point, you should inform any roommates that four to six mice will be active in your room.

Step 3: Open up a relationship

This is when you really start to engage with the mice. I recommend obtaining a

Nicholas Tillinghast/The Miscellany News.

to have ants in your room to increase the

Score (MAS) of your

has a

based on a number of factors."

Madi Donat/The Miscellany News.

Affirmative action is needed for educational equity

Sufana Noorwez Opinions Editor

On Monday, Oct. 31, the Supreme Court heard deliberations regarding affir mative action in college admissions. In two separate but related cases, Students for Fair Admissions v. President and Fellows of Har vard and Students for Fair Admissions v. University of North Carolina, the Supreme Court will decide whether universities can continue to consider race as a component of entry into college.

Historically, the term “affirmative action” is used to refer to the effort to ensure that populations of college students are repre sentative of American society. When the policy was first observed in American histo ry, following President Kennedy’s Executive Order 10925, enrollment of Black students

at colleges such as Harvard jumped as much as 76%, reports The New York Times. This was, and continues to be, a good-faith effort by academic institutions to give equal chanc es to those populations of people who may have faced structural and societal barriers to equal education.

The history of racism in America, specif ically against Black people, has been perva sive, and has put Black people at a significant disadvantage when it comes to economic performance. For example, The Washing ton Post reports that because white families have had more time and opportunities to ac cumulate wealth, “The average White fam ily today holds more than $170,000 in net assets, compared with just $17,000 for the av erage Black family.” This affects where Black families end up living, and because of strict—

and historically discriminatory—rules on school districting, subsequently affects the quality of schools that Black children attend. This can put these students at a disadvantage when it comes to metrics that are supposed to indicate college preparedness.

The current issue with affirmative action, brought up by conservatives, is rooted in a misconception regarding the policy’s ori gins. The organization bringing the case, Students for Fair Admissions, is headed by a conservative white man, Edward Blum, who has tried before to strike down affir mative action, according to CNN. The ar gument, as heard in court on Monday, that Blum is attempting to make is that affirma tive action harms other student populations, such as Asian students, who traditionally have higher performance on college-readi ness metrics.

To consider factors about a student which may affect their college readiness is not un heard of. Plenty of colleges are happy to consider other factors that may hinder a stu dent’s preparedness, such as illness or large life events. According to The Washington Post, the statistics show that minorities have had significant structural barriers when it comes to academic access, through no fault of their own, because of America’s heinous history of racism. Why should this not be considered during the college admissions process?

Students for Fair Admissions does not seem to care much about legacy admissions to elite institutions, which skew the statis tics of college admissions. According to The Harvard Crimson, the acceptance rate for all students between 2014 and 2019 was 6%, while the acceptance rate for legacy students was 33%. This clearly shows preference for the children of Ivy League parents, regard less of their credentials.

If the Supreme Court overturns the prec edent of affirmative action, it will be dev

astating for educational accessibility. Ac cording to The New York Times, many legal experts predict that this is exactly what will happen, and it will cripple the equality of our system. We must not allow the discrimi nation of America’s past to affect Americans today, and considering factors that influence perceived college preparedness, as race his torically has, is not new or unfair to other groups.

The events of the deliberations on Mon day seem to show that the Supreme Court wants to get rid of affirmative action. The conservative, Catholic supermajority has already overturned decisions with years of precedent, such as the controversial decision on Roe v. Wade earlier this year. In the de liberations and questioning of lawyers, the conservative judges seemed ready to pick apart any potential arguments. Justice Clar ence Thomas, according to The New York Times, mentioned his lack of understand ing regarding the term diversity: “I’ve heard the word diversity quite a few times, and I don’t have a clue what it means. It seems to mean everything for everyone.” Feigning ignorance and pretending as if people of different backgrounds in this country have not had different experiences based on racial discrimination is a slippery slope that may leave the educational system looking dan gerously imbalanced and unrepresentative of the American population.

This change will not only affect public institutions such as the University of North Carolina, but might also affect private in stitutions such as Vassar because we receive government funding. This decision may radically shift the landscape of modern American education, and it is important to ensure that all people have equitable access to education. Affirmative action has done great work to promote this access and must be supported at all levels of the educational system, from students to the government.

Elon Musk is not a hero, as seen in his recent purchase of Twitter

Britt Andrade Guest Columnist

Acommon trope on the internet is "eat the rich." It stems from the French phi losopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau, a French Revolution leader, who more aptly quot ed, “[W]hen the people have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich.” As Adolphe Thiers notes in his book on the French Revolution, this term was first used by revolutionary Pierre Gaspard Chaumette during a speech in the height of the French revolution. Eat the rich has become syn onymous with disposing of the powerful and has been used frequently in the ideals of revolutionaries, finding its most recent home in the hearts of 21st-century activists and the Twittersphere. I mention the Twit tersphere because, as of Oct.27, Twitter is owned by billionaire Elon Musk. He claims that he will rid the site of bots and renew its mission of protecting free speech, per CBS News. I’m curious to see if he’s prepared for the consequences.

I personally don't understand the love people have for Musk. But every time the discussion of who gets spared in the imagi nary “eat the rich” revolution, Musk is a top contender for living despite his billion dol lar empire. People love him. They call him a real-life Iron Man, an innovator, a man of the people. He has a cult following that spans gender, tax bracket, race and creed. The reality is that Musk isn’t worth the ad miration outside of a good meme. He is a

con artist with a good PR team.

Let's look at his electric cars. Everyone loves the electric car; they are the trans portation of the future. Tesla didn’t do it first though. Electric cars have been around since the ’90s. What makes Teslas so popular isn’t that they’re a better electric car—it's their charging mechanism. Tes la copied a strategy that countless brands are using by ensuring that if you want to charge your environmentally friendly ride at a Tesla charging station, you need a Tes la or an adapter. Tesla owns 40 percent of the charging stations, increasing the like lihood that people will buy that brand over the competition, according to CNBC. Add that to the fact that the cheapest Tesla costs roughly $40,000, demonstrating that Musk isn’t an environmentalist but a capitalist.

Next is his Starlink system. Starlink is supposed to bring the internet to the mass es. Designed to help communities that don’t have readily available internet, it has already made its way into the Ukrainian conflict. The Washington Post reports that Starlink has kept the Ukrainian people connected to the larger world and allowed their military to maintain communica tions. Providing internet to a country and its citizens in need should be an easy win for Musk and his image. He could have ridden this wave of benevolence to the bank—literally, in the form of shareholder dividends. Instead, Musk went to Twitter to complain about the cost of supporting the

Ukrainian people, CNBC reports. That’s right, the billionaire worth more money than God complained that Starlink is cost ing him millions of dollars. $120 million is a drop in the billion-dollar bucket, but it is also unfathomable how much $120 million is for most of us. A quick Twitter search showed people have come running to Musk’s defense. How dare we expect him to lose money, to let him risk his business, when he's saving lives in Ukraine? But what about the lives he’s risking with this ploy? You don’t threaten to stop paying the bills when lives are on the line. If you want to make billions, you take the hit now and negotiate a military contract for billions later. Musk knows this; he’s too smart and too rich not to know how to monopolize the military-industrial complex. He even back tracked his statement later, going to Twitter again to say that he would continue to pay for Starlink even though it cost his compa ny money, while others made billions in government contracts.

All of this culminates in his recent ac quisition of Twitter. Musk see-sawed on his offer to buy Twitter, dangling it like a proverbial carrot to shareholders and news sources alike. According to The Verge, There are some who theorized that it was a ploy to drive down the price or get out of the deal completely. Ultimately, his antics led to a lawsuit that Musk was going to lose if he hadn’t decided to go through with the deal, Reuters writes. He can say that he bought

Twitter to protect freedom of speech, but reality says otherwise. He did it to save his own butt. All of this brings me back to the point that Musk is not a hero. No one makes billions of dollars without getting blood on their hands. Musk’s list of misdeeds and sins is longer than this article could possi bly cover but the point stands. Musk is an opportunist looking to use his newest threering circus to distract consumers and is un deserving of any admiration.

Image courtesy of Ministério Das Comu nicações via Wikimedia Commons.

Image courtesy of Ildar Sagdejev via Wikimedia Commons.

New York baseball falters: Yankees, Mets fail to make World Series

Nick Villamil Columnist

At any point prior to the MLB’s all-star break, it would have been difficult to envision both the New York Yankees and the New York Mets falling as flat as they did when postseason baseball finally rolled around.

The Yankees owned the best record in baseball and the Mets sat comfortably atop their division, which featured two very worthy challengers in the Atlanta Braves and Philadelphia Phillies.

But as the postseason neared, both teams suffered an alarming drop in play.

“At any point prior to the MLB's all-star break, it would have been difficult to envision both the New York Yankees and the New York Mets falling as flat as they did when postseason finally rolled around.”

The Mets’ once seemingly impossi ble-to-lose division lead became less se cure every day as the defending champion Braves dangerously loomed and the Yan kees no longer looked like the historically good regular season team many thought they could end up being after their first half of the season.

However, those were regular season problems, or at least so they were thought to be. The MLB season is a grueling test of endurance for teams as they play 162 reg

ular season contests. Teams are bound to have slumps, and they usually do not de fine their season. If anything, late season slumps can serve as much needed wake up calls before the most meaningful games begin.

The Mets had their division title ripped from them as they went winless in a de cisive three-game series at the end of the season against the Braves. The perfect indi cator for where the Mets season seemed to be heading was the fact that they had won over 100 games but did not have a division title to show for it.

Still, they had their first playoff berth since 2016 and an opportunity to redeem themselves in their NL Wild Card matchup against the San Diego Padres. But that re demption never came as the once magnif icent Mets played staggeringly uninspiring baseball in the best of three series.

The first game saw their starter Max Scherzer, who they recently had extended to a three year $130 million contract, con cede seven runs to the Padres as the Mets lost badly.

With their season on the line, the Mets responded with seven runs of their own in the next game and forced a decisive third game.

The Mets slogan for the season was “These Mets,” alluding to how this year’s team was going to be the one that delivered on the promise that previous Mets teams had failed to fulfill. As fans were ushered into the stadium for the third game, they received bright orange towels proudly pro claiming their season’s slogan, their decla ration of change for a proud franchise that has not won a world series since 1986.

But even as fans proudly waved their orange towels in the air, indicating a hope that this was finally going to be their year, it quickly became evident that it was not going to be.

San Diego’s starting pitcher, Joe Mus

grove delivered seven scoreless innings, allowing only one hit to a previously high octane Mets offense. In the meantime, the Padres’ batters delivered an abundance of run support and the game ended 6 to 0, with “These Mets” never really seeming to have a chance.

The Yankees’ division title earned them an automatic spot in the AL Division Series against the Cleveland Guardians, a series that the Yankees, though at times rather unconvincing in their play, managed to win.

From there, they advanced to an AL Championship Series (ALCS) matchup with the Houston Astros, who lost to At lanta in last year’s World Series.

In the ALCS, all the reasons for concern caught up to them, as the Yankees played so poorly their home game ticket prices plummeted from $200 to $20 in between the third and fourth games. The Yankees thus fell into a historically insurmount able 0-3 series deficit.

Even Yankees slugger Aaron Judge, who hit a record-setting 62 home runs in the regular season, fell into a playoff slump, hitting a measly .139 over the course of his 36 postseason at bats and only hitting two home runs while striking out 15 times.

Free agency acquisitions like Josh Don aldson and Isiah Kiner-Falefa also strug gled, and while new Yankee Anthony Rizzo did have a strong postseason, batting .276, he is widely expected to re-sign else where this summer.

Both New York franchises are now left scrambling after looking like World Series contenders only a few months prior and both will have to address pressing ques tions.

The Mets will be forced to reckon with their extremely-high payroll and how sustainable keeping such an expensive lineup can be if it does not produce serious postseason success. Or could their owner

Steve Cohen double down on his spending and bring yet another big, expensive bat to Citi Field? Jacob DeGrom’s free agency also looms large this offseason as the star

"While both teams ultimately failed to deliver, both had highly impressive performances considering the length of the season. There will be some turnover, some loss and some improvement."

pitcher is expected to opt out of his cur rent contract.

For the Yankees, Aaron Judge is rumored to be on his way out of the Bronx this off season. Add Judge’s potential departure to the rumblings about Rizzo, and the top of the Yankees order looks to be potential ly rather depleted. Yankee fans were also calling for manager Aaron Boone and gen eral manager Hal Steinbrenner’s jobs after being swept by the Astros, but the organi zation has decided to retain them both for next season.

While both teams ultimately failed to deliver, both had highly impressive per formances considering the length of the season. There will be some turnover, some loss and some improvement. And when the season rolls around next summer both Yankees and Mets fans will have reason for optimism, though they’d be wise to prac tice it cautiously.

Image courtesy of Matt Boulton via Wikimedia Commons.

The Miscellany

Bacchus