Misc2 18 16

The Miscellany News

Volume CXLVIII | Issue 13

February 18, 2016

Since 1866 | miscellanynews.org

Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY

Zika’s impact spans VSA finalizes new constitution beyond the disease F Derek Sonntag Reporter

Eilis Donohue

Assistant News Editor

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he Zika virus has been all over international news in recent weeks, due to the approximately 4,000 recent cases of microcephaly, a condition in which babies are born with abnormally small heads attributed to the disease. In adults, the disease causes no lasting harm, though a correlation between Zika cases and microcephaly has created panic.

The virus is spread by the mosquito species Aedes aegypti, which

thrives in warm regions, and is found in southern Asia and Africa, and now South America, Latin America and the southern U.S. According to Professor of Biology David Esteban, “Zika virus made its first appearance in South America last year[;] it is believed that an infected individual may have attended the World Cup in Brazil, and it spread from there. It’s spreading extremely rapidly.” The counterattack to the disease must therefore be two-pronged: eradicating mosquito See ZIKA on page 6

or years, members of the VSA have talked about revising the foundation of their student government. Now, after more than a semester of brainstorming and debating, the Restructuring Committee is presenting their final product to the Vassar community.

“Restructuring,” explained VSA President Ramy Abbady ’16, “is the

process by which the VSA is changing the positions that exist, the policies, practices—everything about the VSA to make it a better organization in terms of representation, efficiency and being able to adequately address concerns–everything to make it better.”

Last year, an external review of the current VSA government by the SG Consulting Group revealed structural weak points including

poor organization of power in the current government and an imbalance in representation of students in the VSA Council.

The amount of time required of VSA members in the current VSA has caused many elected students to feel overworked. To exemplify that point, VP for Operations Ruby Pierce ’16 said, “The structure required a great deal of work for a See VSA on page 3

Matthew Stein Reporter

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uicide is a serious matter and often times we can’t grasp what goes through someone’s head when they make such a grave action. Simultaneously, there are moments when people feel isolated, as if nobody understands them or what they might be going through, be it family trouble, mental illness or anything that might be left unspoken. In his upcoming lecture Pablo Campos will give us an idea of how to provide greater sympathy and

understanding. In addition, Campos lecture hopes to cover some of the opportunities and help people in need can receive.

On Tuesday, Feb. 23, Pablo Campos, a survivor of attempted suicide will be giving a lecture for Active Minds at 7:30 p.m. in Rocky 200. This lecture is brought to Vassar’s campus by a collaboration between The Listening Center (TLC), the ALANA Center, the Black Student Union (BSU) and the Office of Health Education. Campos has suffered from See CAMPOS on page 8

Jeremy Middleman/The Miscellany News

Campos to examine suicide and anxiety

VSA President Ramy Abbady ’16 presents the new constitution, bylaws and policies. The Restructuring Committee now is in the midst of presenting the final documents to the residential houses and student body.

Convention serves up geekiness Sabrina Oh Reporter

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Hanna McGuire Guest Reporter

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courtesy of IGN

onventional stereotypical remarks about geeks are overdone, monotonous and, frankly, a bit dry.

Conventions involving geeks, for geeks, and for those unfamiliar to the realm of geekiness, however, escape these rigid, exhausted stereotypes.

The 15th No Such Convention, held

by No Such Organization, will take place in the College Center from Friday, Feb. 19 to Sunday, Feb. 21. Held annually, No Such Convention, also referred to as NSCon, is a three-day, family-friendly fan convention accessible to the greater Hudson Valley region. The convention will include panels, workshops, performances, activities, cosplay, live-action roleplay and screenings. This year, the convention is titled “Monsters & Mayhem”, and openly invites anyone who would like to base a cosplay or simply unleash their creativity.

Ezekiel Maben ’17 is the current president of the NSO and head of the convention. In terms of his role as the so-to-speak chief of the event, he wrote, “I direct the overall vision of the convention, book guests, and oversee the other areas of the convention.”

According to Maben, planning an event of this scale can be chaotic. He continued, “The planning process has had its ups and down, but we are prepared for the upcoming convention, with a great collection of guests and See NSO on page 16

No Such Convention is an annual series of lectures, performances and more.

Renowned game developer and Vassar alum Ken Levine ’88 will speak.

Inside this issue

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Liberty League dreams running dry

Fried egg deserves more attention FEATURES than just breakfast

12 ARTS

Human cyborg coming to campus for lecture

he Vassar men’s basketball team faced tough competition this weekend, falling to Union College and Skidmore College in Liberty League play. Both games were pivotal for the Brewers with the conference tournament right around the corner. Previously third in the league, the team fell to fifth overall, with Skidmore leading the pack.

In its previous encounter with Union, Vassar lost by only four points. Freshman Paul Grinde earned a double-double, while senior Erikson Wasyl, junior Mickey Adams and sophomore Jesse Browne all shot in the double-digits.

Coach B.J. Dunne had high hopes when going up against Union for the second time. “We are playing our best basketball right now and it is important to peak at the right time, which we are,” noted Dunne, “In Game one we played well on both ends, but Union just made a few more plays down the stretch.”

Unfortunately, the Brewers could not convert and fell to the Dutchmen 74-48 on Feb. 12. Vassar stayed close behind Union throughout the first half, trading off the lead. However, the Dutchmen took control in the second half, outscoring the Brewers 47-20. Despite the loss, Grinde

18 SPORTS

and freshmen Alex Seff, continued to prove their abilities as they both scored in double-digits.

Coach Dunne recognizes how all five freshmen bring great energy to the team that helps create a familial atmosphere on and off the court. Seff and Grinde have not only contributed to this environment but have also played particularly influential roles during practice and games.

“Seff has had a great second semester and plays with great intensity and energy on both ends of the floor,” said Dunne. “Grinde is a match up problem for all the teams in our league and it is obvious that he is the focal point of their scouting reports. They both have given us much needed production for this year.”

Vassar’s first game against Skidmore on Jan. 15 ended in a 69-64 victory. The Thoroughbreds led the Brewers for most of the game, at one time by a nine-point margin. But that did not deplete Vassar, as the men capitalized on Skidmore’s 12 turnovers to take the win. Not only was the game a success for the Brewers, but Wasyl also made history, becoming the 14th player in Vassar College men’s basketball to score 1,000 career points. This season he averages 15.4 points per game, 5 rebounds and See B-BALL on page 18

Tennis team ready to start their Spring season

The Miscellany News

Page 2

February 18, 2016

Editors-in-Chief Palak Patel Noble Ingram

Senior Editors Anika Lanser Rhys Johnson

News Humor & Satire Arts Sports Photography Design Online Copy courtesy of Elizabeth Dean

JYA Blogger Elizabeth Dean ’17 took this photo while she was on a trip to Howth, a fishing village outside Dublin, Ireland. To hear more about Elizabeth’s adventures studying abroad at Goldsmiths, University of London, visit the Misc’s study abroad blog at farandaway.miscellanynews.org!

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February

Thursday

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February

Friday

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February

Saturday

“Adaptable Intervention: Healing with Data”

“Change Your Plate, Change the World”

Lacrosse (M) vs. Trinity and Scranton

Late Night at the Lehman Loeb

No Such Convention

No Such Convention

LiNK Concert

Tennis (M) vs. Skidmore

The Donner Party Kidz

Korean Culture and Film Discussion 7:00pm | Rocky 300 | Sori

4:30pm | Rocky 300 | Math Dept.

5:00pm | Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center Atrium | Art

Spark! A Feel for Science Opening Reception 5:00pm | Palmer | Art

“From the Black Panthers and Nixon to Obama and the Tea Party: Interpreting the ‘Post’ of ‘Post-Civil Rights” 6:00pm | Taylor 203 | American Studies Dept.

The Donner Party Kidz

8:00pm | Shiva | No Offense/FWA

4:00pm | Rocky 300 | Learning, Teaching, and Resource Center

5:00pm | College Center | NSO

6:00pm | Students’ Building 2nd Floor | LiNK

8:00pm | Shiva | No Offense/FWA

9:00am | Prentiss Turfs | VC Athletics

10:00am | College Center | NSO

1:00pm | Walker & Joss Tennis Courts | VC Athletics

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February

1:00pm | Kenyon Club Room | BSU

VSA Council

7:00pm | New England 106 | VSA

Paper Critique

9:00pm | Rose Parlor | The Misc

Come tell us all about our typos!

8:00pm | Alumnae/i House | Class of 2016

The Donner Party Kidz

8:00pm | Shiva | No Offense/FWA

ADVERTISEMENT

Crossword Editors Alycia Beattie York Chen Collin KnoppSchwyn Assistant News Eilis Donohue Assistant Features Julia Cunningham Alan Hagins Assistant Sports Winnie Yeates Assistant Design Talya Phelps Charlotte VarcoeWolfson Assistant Copy Claire Baker Assistant Social Media Hannah Nice Web Master Andy Carrera

Sunday

Black Femme/Women’s Brunch

100 Nights

Jeremy Middleman Zander Bashaw Connor McIlwain Zach Rippe Sam Pianello Sarah Dolan Kelsey Quinn Jackson Ingram

Reporters Amreen Bhasin Ashley Hoyle Sieu Nguyen Sabrina Oh Derek Sonntag Matt Stein Columnists Nick Barone Jimmy Christon Jillian Elkin Evelyn Frick Emma Jones Steven Park Penina Remler Sarah Sandler Josh Sherman Patrick Tanella Jesse Horrowitz Photographers Alec Ferretti Ashley Pecorelli Design Christa Haryanto Klara Kaufman Scarlett Neuberger Samana Shrestha Copy Gabriela Calderon Sophie Deixel Steven Park Noah Purdy Elena Schultz Sophie Slater Laila Volpe Rebecca Weir Laura Wigginton CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only corrections for any misquotes, resentations or factual errors for ticle within the semester it is

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accept misrepan arprinted.

February 18, 2016

NEWS

Page 3

Analyst recounts time covering Middle-Eastern conflicts Clark Xu

Guest Reporter

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n Feb. 10, communications specialist and former journalist Deborah Horan lead a group of Vassar community members on a journey through her time working as a news reporter in the Middle East. “I’m going to speak a little bit about the background, for people who may not be familiar with the Sunni-Shia split in Islam,” Horan said, introducing her talk. “The religious divide has not spawned all of the problems, but it is a prism through which we can understand competing forces...It started when the Prophet Mohammed died in 632 when his followers disagreed on who the successor should be. So most of the followers wanted someone named Abu-Bakr, who did want to lead the community, and a minority wanted Ali, who was the grandson of the prophet.” The lecture, sponsored by the Dean of Faculty,

was of particular relevance for students who want to learn more about the current political climate in different Middle Eastern countries. Horan described a 2011 article she wrote for the Chicago Tribune, “I write here that it is a time of hope and very rapid change, but it was very hopeful that there would be a wave of democracy across the Middle East.”

Currently, Horan works as a senior communications specialist at the International Food Policy Research Institute, a food policy NGO. There, she works to provide media strategy and coverage to increase agricultural output and reduce poverty and hunger in developing countries.

Much of Horan’s discussion surrounded the interactions of Middle-Eastern countries, particularly relations between Syria and the rest of the world. As Horan outlined, the Syrian government, which has attracted allies and militants from

courtesy of Furman University

Former Chicago Tribune journalist Deborah Horan discussed her experiences reporting in the Middle East, as well as the history of the Arab Spring and its effect on the Middle East region.

Shia populations, relies on support from Russia and Iran. The Syrian opposition forces depend on allies and militants from Sunni populations, with the implicit backing of the United States and Saudi Arabia (Bloomberg, “Truce Deal Backed by U.S., Russia Draws Skepticism in Syria,” 2.12.16).

Former President of the Middle-Eastern Students Collective and VSA President Ramy Abbady explained his thoughts about the importance of the region’s history for Vassar students. “It is important for people at Vassar to know and care about what is going on around the world,” Abbady said. Jorge Gruber ’18 echoed Abbady, “Whatever happens in the Middle East and in other world conflicts, we will feel the impact. Even though it seems like a distant affair, another Middle-Eastern conflict, it is not good to think that way. We are all affected.”

The lecture drew a wide audience, eager to hear directly from someone who had lived in countries that nowadays often make headlines.

Gruber said of Horan’s lecture, “I would pay attention to the network of alliances, for example, those of Iran and Saudi Arabia. I know that they are the regional superpowers, and a lot of what happens is based on how they choose to engage with one another.”

Horan noted that outside pressures such as Western politics, including the U.S. invasion in Iraq in 2003, also played a part in regional politics. In response to Horan’s discussion of foreign influence, Gruber said, “The story is very complicated. Although there are many different factors that drive the conflict, I see it as a power struggle between the major nation-states. The whole situation is reminiscent of the Cold War dynamic.”

The U.S. and Russia recently traded accusations of bombing the Syrian population, illustrating that the Sunni-Shia religious conflict can often be an offshoot of regional and global politics. Syrian opposition forces and human rights organizations reported that Russian airstrikes devastated Tal Rifaat in Aleppo province, even as diplomats worked to negotiate the cessation of hostilities (Reuters, “Russia keeps bombing despite Syria truce; Assad vows to fight on,” 2.12.16).

Horan noted that the Syrian conflict also involves Christians and the Kurdish national minority. Considering a question from the lecture audience about underrepresented voices in the Syrian conflict, Horan responded, “The Christian population is on the defensive and they are fleeing. That does not get a lot of coverage.”

Unbenownest to many students, the Syrian conflict has cost $255 billion to the local economy, and average life expectancy of inhabitants dropped from 70 in 2010 to 55 in 2015. Despite a 21 percent reduction in the Syrian population, the poverty rate has increased by 85 percent (The Guardian, “Report on Syria conflict finds 11.5% of population killed or injured,” 2.10.16).

Learning about world issues, Abbady asserts, is important for the campus climate. Abbady suggested, “We do have international students here, and I have repeatedly heard that international students do not feel entirely included as part of the community. Part of that stems from the fact that a lot of Vassar students do not try to understand events beyond the United States. We are living in an increasingly global world.”

These days, it has become increasingly difficult for foreign journalists to work in the Middle East. Horan reflected, “Most of my colleagues are not going into Syria anymore. It’s too hard to get from one place to another for this reason: you will get militias on the freeway forcing cars to stop.”

Horan elaborated, “This happened in Baghdad when I was there in 2004; we stopped going outside to do reporting, because you couldn’t know if you could go on the freeway—it could be the militia had set up a temporary roadblock.”

The United States, Russia, Saudi Arabia and Iran recently made commitments at the Munich Security Conference to a cessation of hostilities in Syria on Feb. 19, 2016, after five years of war.

Nevertheless, Horan expressed her skepticism of the possibility of peace coming to the region soon.

Horan concluded her lecture, speculating, “The Lebanese conflict lasted for 15 years. The Syrian conflict has been going on for five years, but I would not be surprised if it continues another 10 years for the same reasons.”

VSA restructuring to culminate in new governing body VSA continued from page 1

small number of people, specifically the Executive Board. The workload for these positions is just impossible...It’s like 25 hours of work per week.” She went on to suggest that the immense amount of work and required time commitment has led to resignations every year.

In terms of the amount of time necessary, the VP for Activities is required to oversee all student organizations on campus—which number more than 100—and the VP for Finance is tasked with allocating money from the VSA’s $750,000 budget to all VSA orgs. Abbady recalled how in previous years, when students ran for VP for Student Life, they tailored their campaigns to only a specific portion of the job because promising to do everything the position entailed was simply too much.

Abbady elaborated on his point, “A few years ago, before I was even here, there was a VP for Student Life who made it his goal to ‘make the Deece pretty,’ so that is why we have all those paintings in the Deece.”

Members of the Executive Board are not the only ones swamped by their position’s requirements. House presidents also have a lot on their plates. “All house presidents are overworked, and a lot of their issues are pretty similar and can be dealt with in a better fashion,” Class of 2017 President Apoorva Natarajan mentioned. Not only do house presidents sit on VSA Council, they also chair their respective House Teams and are required to sit on two of the committees run by the Executive Board members.

Time commitment is not the only qualm for house presidents. When house presidents need to pose the concerns of their constituents about housing problems, VSA Council is often not the appropriate place to do so. The Council addresses problems seen around the entire campus, but specific housing concerns are addressed by ResLife. The current structure makes it difficult for these presidents to voice their concerns to an appropriate audience who will give them aid.

The biggest problem with the current VSA

structure has to do with the lack of representation for many students. The Council is composed of the president, the five vice presidents, the four class presidents, the house presidents and representatives for the Ferry House, the Terrace Apartments, the Town Houses, the South Commons, and the Town Students. Hypothetically, this system could give rise to a VSA comprised of nearly all of one class year and very few of another.

“The representation is very uneven,” acknowledged Abbady. “We have the Ferry [Representative] who represents 22 people and we have Main President who represents, like, 400 people. They have the same vote and the same voice and the same influence and it’s not very equitable in that way.”

Lack of representation is also prevalent by class year. The current structure limits freshmen representation to one, yet freshmen make up one quarter of the student body. Similarly, there is no guarantee that the other three classes will be equally represented. Natarajan explained, “All of last semester and for the first two weeks of this semester, I was the only person from [the Class of 2017] on Council, so that, kind of, puts a lot of pressure on me in terms of what I’m voting for and also doesn’t fairly represent concerns.”

For reasons such as these, Pierce spearheaded the restructuring project this year and worked alongside Abbady, Natarajan and other students who chose to voice their concerns.

The committee has tried to redevelop the VSA organization by judging the current structure’s strengths and weaknesses and piecing together a new system that fixes the major problems.

The new structure is familiar, but decidedly more efficient, according to Restructuring Committee. The new Executive Board shall consist of six members in total: the President, Vice President, elected Co-Chair of Equity and Inclusion, Chair of Academics, Chair of Organizations, Co-Chair of Finance, and elected Co-Chair of Residential Affairs. The positions labeled Co-Chair shall have another Co-Chair internally appointed within the respective

groups they run.

There will also be four “Boards”–essentially the replacements for major committees such as Student Life and Activities. Each Board will consist of small, open committees which will work on specified issues to be brought back to board. The Board of Strategic Planning will be run by the Vice President and will address any issues pertaining to internal affairs of the VSA. The Board of Student Affairs will be run by the Co-Chairs of Equity and Inclusion and the Chair of Academics and will address issues affecting campus student life. The Board of Activities will be run by the Chair of Organizations and the Co-Chairs of Finance and will collaborate with, plan, and sponsor school programming. Finally, the Board of Residential affairs will be run by the Co-Chairs of Residential Affairs and will be the medium through which House Teams and all other campus residences can convene and collaborate on issues.

The new legislative body will be the VSA Senate. The Senate will include six members of the Executive Board as well as five additional committee chairs, two College Planning Senators, and three Class Senators from each class, totaling 25 members. Each Class Senator will be required to sit on one of the Boards of Strategic Planning, Student Affairs, or Activities.

According to Pierce, the new structure will spread work more evenly, but will do more than just balance workload. She reasoned, “Our experiences have shown us that our current system is not reliable, so we want to sort of spread it out in groupings that make more sense and to more individuals so that more people can be in power and have these conversations and be in these meetings.”

One of Restructuring Committee’s goals was to try to redefine the role of class representatives in terms of the jobs they have. “They’re much more engaged, more defined jobs and also include any potential programming that can happen.” Nataryan said of the new Class Senators position. “Now there are three people who can do that [in each class]. And we’ve

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

also discovered that most of the past couple of years, programming isn’t all that popular except for seniors and, to an extent, freshmen.

We definitely have things in place to make that happen like a freshman first year committee and a senior class council.” While the VSA is aware that the current planning has not been as popular for seniors, the Senior Class Council will continue to provide programming such as 50 Nights.

In addition, this new structure introduces more equal representation of classes without sacrificing the importance of houses’ voices.

“It’s better to have a board of residential affairs where we can discuss these issues in the presence of people from ResLife and B&G and Safety and Security, you know, with the people who can actually make those changes,” Pierce said.

Natarajan agreed, saying, “To bring ResLife issues to Council, we just have a new Chair of Residential Affairs, who is on the Exec, who’ll come and represent all of ResLife’s issues at Senate.”

These changes are essential, according to Pierce, because the government has gone without change for too long. “The channel of communication is shifting as it should because the structure has not changed in 10 years. The VSA has been exactly the way it is since 2006,” Pierce attested.

“Obviously, we’ve entered a new era,” Pierce commented. She continued, “Things change on college campuses really quickly. We’ve got a whole new level of interacting with social media, a whole new level of just an entirely different culture, really. And I think we need to have a structure that reflects that so there’s less frustration in terms of people feeling like they aren’t being heard.”

The final resolution will be brought before the VSA Council on Sunday Feb. 21 and, if approved, it will reshape the image and structure of the VSA. Pierce concluded, “It’s going to change the way that students interface with the student government, and it’s also going to change the way that students interface with the administration and the faculty and everyone.”

NEWS

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February 18, 2016

Findings on zebra finches open biology seminar series Shelia Hu and Jeremy Middleman Guest Reporter and News Editor

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it turns out it was very intricate.” Mori held that there are benefits of having professors from other colleges beyond what professors at Vassar can offer. Caballero said, “I never experienced research to that degree—my researching is very simplistic compared to theirs. It is also good to support other people’s research, as they’ve put so much money and time into it. I believe anybody researching for college or grad school needs to be a well-rounded person. I feel like education and research and anything with that has to do with a desire to learn and a desire for higher knowledge.”

Beyond just providing students an opportunity to learn interesting information about biology, the lectures are designed to offer students more and varied points of view. In that vein, Duncan expressed, “[Exposing students to other scientists] not only increases our students’ exposure to biological questions not represented on the Vassar

campus, but also gives students an opportunity for another type of academic engagement with the information.” Duncan and Gall both said that outside research can help to connect professors interested in similar fields and to facilitate collaboration or further develop their understanding.

Duncan also noted, “Having a scientist come and discuss their work is just like what a student would experience from a novelist coming to campus to do a reading or to discuss their most recent article/book. When you read a scientific paper, students and faculty often have questions or want further clarification on certain points or the meaning of that work.”

The next few weeks of lectures will have professors coming from Fordham University, Rockefeller University, Eisai Research Institute and Swarthmore College covering a variety of research topics.

courtesy of Vassar College

n Saturday Feb. 12, the Vassar Biology Department held the first talk of the Spring Semester Biology Seminar Series. This semester, the Seminar Series consists of five lectures conducted every Friday at noon in Olmsted 266 by guest professors from various universities around the country. Associate Professor of Biology at Oklahoma State University Jennifer Grindstaff specializes in Behavioral Ecology and Evolutionary Biology.

At Friday’s lecture, she discussed her scientific studies of the effects of early life environment on behavior and physiology using zebra finches.

Specifically, Grindstaff researched the effects of exposure to antigens of mother finches on the offspring’s immune responses during a neonatal period. She posed the question, if a mother finch was exposed to antigens during the neonatal period, would that ultimately benefit or harm the offspring, in terms of their antibody count and active immunity capabilities? She concluded that this research shows the impact of early exposure to antigens can create long-term sex-based development issues depending on what kind of adult environment the finches move into later in life.

Assistant Professor of Biology and faculty sponsor for the lecture Kelli A. Duncan commented in an emailed statement, “Biologists like Dr. Grindstaff and myself are constantly interested in how changes in the environment alter basic physiological features of an animal.” She continued, “How an organism adapts to its environment (both other animals in the environment and other abiotic factors such as nutrient availability, disease, weather, and even noise) is important to that animals survival and animals make conscious and unconscious decisions to enhance that survival.”

The lecture offered students an opportunity to experience what professors are doing when they are not in class. Deanna Havey ’18 noted the biology lectures can also be more interesting than traditional lectures. She said in an emailed statement, “[The biology seminars] offer variety.

It’s not a 10 A.M. lecture you must attend three

times a week following a vague syllabus. [Seminar lecturers] provide more in-depth discussions at a different angle of particular topics that otherwise won’t be covered in 100 or 200 level lectures.”

Mariah Caballero ’19 echoed Havey’s interest.

She said, “Just being able to hear about what’s happening in science now is definitely helpful.”

She continued, “I’m in Biology 106 so it’s not like my level of knowledge is incredibly high, but she did a great job explaining her processes such that anyone could have enjoyed that lecture.” While the content of the material has many words that are used in purely scientific contexts, this seminar and others in the series adapt the content to the audience instead of expecting a high degree of understanding in the subject.

Duncan also noted that Grindstaff’s research was valuable because of its relevance to humans.

Duncan wrote, “By studying non-human species we are able to learn a great deal about both basic biological principles and about human development. The basis of biomedical research is that non-human model organisms such as rodents, birds, fruit flies, fish, worms are all great models for human development and by studying these animals in-depth we are able to ask and hopefully answer questions that we are unable to answer in humans.” Assistant Professor of Biology Megan Gall seconded Duncan’s analysis. She wrote in an emailed statement, “Animal models are very powerful because we choose species that are tractable (i.e. are easy to keep, reach adulthood in a relatively short period of time, etc.). Studying one non-human animal species tells us only about how things work in that animal. However, studying lots of different species can give us an idea of the general processes at work and how these processes are influenced by life history, ecology, or other factors. If clear patterns emerge [in studying lots of different species], this can give us an insight into how humans may function as well (since we are also animals).”

D’Angelo Mori ’19 commented, “I was amazed at how much research they had done. When I first looked at the title of the seminar I thought it sounded like a pretty simple experiment, but

On Feb. 12, Professor Jennifer Grindstaff presented her research about the effects of antigen factors on the development of neonatal zebra finches for the Biology Department lecture series.

Outside the Bubble Polar Vortex Brings Severe Cold to Northeast On Saturday, Feb. 13, A polar vortex sent temperatures plummeting to seasonal lows across the Midwest and Northeast. Some regions received below negative 35 degrees with wind chill.

The storm—composed of a cold air system that sits around the North Pole year-round—came south late last week, and combined with a cold front to form heavy wind currents, ice and snow over the weekend.

“An eddy of the polar vortex over Quebec, along with a reinforcing cold front, is expected to bring the coldest weather of this winter season from the Great Lakes to New England,” the National Weather Service stated in a Saturday update. “Wind chill warnings and lake-effect snow warnings are in effect for these areas, with wind chill readings dropping below negative 30 degrees by Saturday night” (National Weather Service, “Winter Storm Warning,” 02.13.16).

The coldest air mass of the winter brought the thermometer down to minus six degrees in Minneapolis and minus 15 degrees in Philadelphia, where a multi-vehicle pileup resulted dozens of injuries. Several vehicles, including at least one medical helicopter, were forced to turn back due to the weather (USA Today, “Polar Vortex drives bitter cold into central, eastern U.S.,” 02.13.16).

Severe conditions also forced many event organizers to cancel plans over the weekend. The Central Park Ice Festival, which was set to feature ice-carving artists and music in Central Park, was cancelled, as well West Virginia’s Charles Town Races and a horse racing event at New York’s Aqueduct Racetrack and (ABC, “As Teeth-Chattering Temps Move In, Officials Urge Caution,” 02.13.16).

Elsewhere, several outdoor events went on as scheduled despite the bone-chilling temperatures. The annual “Polar Bear Plunge” in Sea Isle City, N.J., and the “Cupid’s Undie Run” in Pittsburgh and Washington D.C. still drew crowds of over 100 individuals at each location (NBC, “Polar Vortex Triggers Subzero Temperatures, ‘Life-Threatening’ Wind Chill,” 02.13.16).

Officials asserted that these activities were dangerous, and urged residents to take precautions. “These temperatures can be life threatening—especially for seniors, infants and people with medical conditions,” said NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio. “Stay indoors and take care of each other” (ABC).

— Ethan Baratz, Guest Reporter Supreme Court Halts Obama Plan to Regulate Carbon Emissions In a 5-4 decision on Feb. 9, the Supreme Court issued a motion blocking the Obama Administration’s efforts to expand federal regulations to limit carbon emissions produced by coal-fired electric power plants, the largest source of U.S. greenhouse gases.

The proposal, a centerpiece of the administration’s larger Clean Power Plan, brokered at the UN Climate Change Conference in Paris last December, is seen by its proponents as crucial to cutting electric power plant emissions by a third below 2005 base levels by 2030 in order to achieve the reduction target pledged at the conference, as well as facilitating the overall shift from fossil fuels to forms of alternative energy production.

Representatives from 27 states and dozens of utilities businesses and coal industry groups fiercely contested the regulatory plan mandated by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) last summer, arguing that it would devastate the economies of coal and oil-producing states and enable the EPA to overstep its legal authority if approved. Ultimately, the dissenters won the court’s favor following the granting of their request for a stay as the legality of the regulations will continue to be debated in the lower courts.

“Had the stay not been granted, co-ops would have been forced to take costly and irreversible steps to comply with the rule,” said Chief Executive of the National Rural Electric Cooperative Association Jeffrey Connor (Washington Post, “Supreme Court Deals Blow to Obama’s Efforts to Regulate Coal Emissions,” 02.09.16).

The decision has been polarizing, lamented by environmentalists who view the action as a major setback to the institution of comprehensive climate reform, and celebrated by opposing state and energy lobby representatives like West Virginia Attorney General Patrick Morrisey. In a press conference, Morrisey said, “We are thrilled that the Supreme Court realized the rule’s immediate impact and froze its implementation, protecting workers and saving countless dollars as our fight against its legality continues,” stated Morrisey, who also led the effort to request the stay (New York Times, “Supreme Court Deals Blow to Obama’s Efforts to Regulate Coal Emissions,”

02.09.16).

The White House expressed disappointment with the court’s decision and vowed that it would continue to challenge any attempts to forestall the enactment of the regulatory plan.

White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest asserted, “Even while the litigation proceeds, EPA has indicated it will work with states that choose to continue plan development and will prepare the tools those states will need. At the same time, the Administration will continue to take aggressive steps to make forward progress to reduce carbon emissions,” (Washington Post).

The court’s decision to grant a stay indicates the court’s skepticism towards the plan and strongly implies that it would be struck down in its final ruling, imperiling a central component of the Clean Power Plan. The glaring question is how President Obama’s successor will choose to address this groundbreaking environmental policy in response to the court.

“Whether or not the court ultimately upholds this particular rule, the need to cut carbon emissions will remain, and states need to figure out the most cost-effective ways to do that,” said Former Acting Administrator for the EPA Bob Perciasepe. “It’s in everyone’s interest that states keep at it, because whether it’s the Clean Power Plan or some other policy, they’ll need smart strategies to get the job done” (Reuters).

Justice Department Sues Ferguson to Force Police Reform The Department of Justice filed a civil rights suit against Ferguson, Miss. last Wednesday, Feb. 10, in order to force the city to implement the comprehensive criminal justice reform plan both parties reached after months of negotiations.

The plan was crafted in response to the findings of federal investigations into Ferguson’s policing and municipal court practices, which, according to a report released last March by the DOJ’s Civil Rights Division, determined that routine patterns of constitutional rights violations were inflicted on the city’s black residents by its overwhelmingly white police force.

The decision to sue immediately followed the Ferguson city council’s rejection of the supposedly agreed-upon deal, which stipulated a series of longterm training programs designed to improve relations

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

between the police and the local community and foster more ethical forms of policing that would prioritize de-escalation tactics without the use of force.

The six-member city council voted unanimously to request that the deal be amended, outlining several conditions that, if fulfilled, would guarantee their complete acceptance. These objections included the need for different deadlines and fees from those originally set down, the removal of a key line requiring higher pay for officers, which the council deemed unfordable, and the removal of a provision stating that the entire deal would be voided if the city ever chose to contract the services of any outside law enforcement agencies (Huffington Post, “Feds Sue Ferguson For Widespread Constitutional Violations And Racial Discrimination,” 02.10.16) Acting Assistant Attorney General for the Civil Rights Division Vanita Gupta said, “The Ferguson City Council has attempted to unilaterally amend the negotiated agreement,” in a statement early Wednesday.

She continued, “Their vote to do so creates an unnecessary delay in the essential work to bring constitutional policing to the city, and marks an unfortunate outcome for concerned community members and Ferguson police officers” (Washington Post, “Justice Dept. sues the city of Ferguson to force policing reform,” 02.11.16).

“We do believe these conditions maintain the spirit and integrity of the consent decree and allow the city to move forward,” Councilman Wesley Ball, a lead negotiators of the original deal, said of the controversial amendments he himself proposed at a press conference in Ferguson on Wednesday. “To be clear, in no uncertain terms are these conditions considered ‘take it or leave it...The city of Ferguson is and will be open to continued negotiations with the Department of Justice” (Huffington Post, Washington Post, respectively).

“To allow the city to simply evade the terms of an agreement carefully negotiated and presumably agreed to by simply transferring control of the police department to another state entity was simply unconscionable to us,” said Attorney General Loretta Lynch, who asserted that the Ferguson city council’s decision gave the DOJ no other option but to sue.

— Jorge Gruber, Guest Reporter

February 18, 2016

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The Old Bookstore reimagined as alternative student space Kaitlynn Vo Reporter

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Ashley Pecorelli/The Miscellany News

An open view of the remodeled student space below main. The space is now open 24/7 . Administrators hope the space will be used for student activities like spoken word, music, comedy and art.

Ashley Pecorelli/The Miscellany News

015 was a year for the history books: Kanye West announced his impending presidential intentions, the internet broke down about the color of a striped dress (white and gold, anyone?), the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services issued the eighth edition of their five-year Dietary Guidelines for Americans and Vassar’s beloved cafe in UpC had its last hurrah before its doors closed for the last time at midnight on Dec. 11.

Fret not students still seeking a space to simultaneously study and be social! The year has changed and so have the options. Now along with a new semester and a renewed work ethic, students have access to three new campus spaces. The Bridge Café, Kiosk Late Night and Main’s own newly-christened The Old Bookstore have all been newly renovated and opened to students looking to satisfy needs ranging from hunger to procrastination.

Of the three new areas, though, one stands out as most promising and conducive to succeed UpC’s reputation as a hub of student activity: The Old Bookstore. Dissimilar from the Bridge Café and the Kiosk Late Night in that it is not a food-selling venue, the OB (or very briefly, Low Main) still offers the capacity to be with friends any time of the day or night.

There, students can conduct informal meetings, do homework, gather together to study or engage in none of the above.

Either way, though the space itself has been greatly anticipated for a long time, it may be surprising to learn that its preparation period has been even longer. Dean of Strategic Planning and Academic Resources Marianne Begemann describes the process as long and arduous but ultimately highly fulfilling. She says, “Planning for the lower level of the College Center began at least four years ago before the move of the Bookstore to the Juliet. At that time, the VSA conducted a survey and student focus groups to gather input on the lower level and Chris Roellke and I held some open meetings for students about the space.”

Despite their efforts and initial planning, however, VSA, Roellke and Begemann met with delays during the 2014/2015 academic year.

Begemann mentioned that the Biology Department needed to use the basement level during 2014/2015. She said, “During that time, we held meetings with student groups organized in part through Campus Activities, with the Campus Master Planning Committee and with others involved in the services that were being considered for the old bookstore space. As we embarked on the campus master planning process, we took time to gather information about what people wanted from the College Center.”

This process of gathering community input was not exempt to attempts to incorporate the community in more than just the conceptualization aspect of this project. As Begemann explained, the process of attaining general input for the endeavor included incorporating the ideas of faculty member in Urban Studies and Art History Tobias Armborst. As a licensed architect and teacher of architectural design here at the college with students firmly engaged in

class projects related to the College Center and as leader of his firm, Interboro Partners, Armborst brought a unique understanding and engagement with the design of the lower level and the student services space on the entry level.

Both Armborst and Begemann parsimoniously explained their ideas for an accommodating and accessible space. They wanted to create an open environment that also included important college utilities. Among them are the help desk, card office, computer repair, computer store and tech training. In Begemann’s words, “These [the utilities] had been separate before and it is easier for both the providers and the users if everything happens close together in one location.”

Continuing, Begemann detailed some key issues faced as the project continued: “Due to funding restrictions, our hopes to be able to renovate the full basement were thwarted, but we were able to do a targeted renovation of the front section of the basement as well as the old SARC space and computer store on the upper level.” Despite this, Begemann and team pressed on, firm in their understanding and intent for the student space.

The team hopes the uses of the space will range from studying alone, working in groups, lounging, playing board games, hosting programs­­­—essentially anything that students could come up with could be accommodated.

Spoken word, music, comedy, art exhibits were all thought of as viable options for space utilization. Begemann illustrated the point saying, “In conversations with various student groups over the course of last year and before, it was pretty clear that the top priorities were flexibility, lots of power (notice all the outlets), good access to data and a variety of seating types.”

Though the organizational committee for this project took student concerns very seriously, they felt a balance needed to be struck with the logistical limitations to the space and budget.

Again, Begemann elucidates, “With food being another top priority, the best we could do with the funds available was to expand the Kiosk space for late night options. We also provided the vending nook and V-print in the lower level. We heard that a 24/7 study space that could be noisier than the Library would be nice.”

As far as the space remaining a haven for the more academically inclined, Begemann assures, “Opening the walls and adding the big sliding natural wood doors not only brings the outside in, but makes the space inviting and accessible. The idea with the color was to keep the space simple and use the furniture and carpet as accents. With the different furniture types, we can see what is most popular and as the space is tested and broken in, take it further in that direction. The goal was not to make a space that was over-thought, but rather a place that was simple, bright, flexible and able to be used in a variety of ways by anyone according to interest, time of day and demand.”

However, as inviting as a space may be, VSA President Ramy Abbady ’16 understood the importance of fostering a student connection to

One of the first visitors to the new student space, titled “The Old Bookstore,” studies above. The new space features a computer store on the upper level, which features repairs and a help desk. the area to create an association of familiarity.

Thus, despite its unorthodoxy, including the students in the most important and intimate aspect of the project beyond even contributing to the space’s compositional direction was critical for Abbady and the VSA Council.

Delineating the lounge’s naming process, Abbady explains, “As far as I know, buildings are often named after a donor, as is the case with Mudd, Vogelstein and Rocky. Others, like Raymond and Jewett, are named after former Vassar presidents. It is fairly nontraditional for Vassar to name spaces through the student body, though this did occur two years ago during the trial run of the late night food at the Deece (called “Deece After Dark”). That process had been done through the VP for Activities, but I wanted to make this process as democratic as possible by including all students in the naming. I sent out an email to all students asking for submissions of names. I received over 30 names, which were included on the first survey I sent out.”

Based on community input, the initial name for the space, as determined by VSA’s #NameThatSpace competition, ultimately ended up being “Low Main.” Although students probably had good intentions, this nomenclatic event has been met with its fair share of controversy.

Responding with an open letter to the student body on the name’s fall from grace into racist and non-tolerant territory, Cecilia Hoang ’18, Jonathan How Yu Chung ’18 and Anna Meaney ’18 described the fundamental issues of making light of intrinsically heavy topic: “To trivialize this [naming of the space as Low Main] is hurtful, and it is racist. This is not merely bullying nor my own ‘hypersensitivity.’ It is systematic violence against me and so many other Asian folks in this country. Realize that when you make a ‘play on words,’ you are making a joke, and too often my culture has been the punchline.”

In response to this objection, the VSA council met quickly to determine the viability of the name in relation to the current environment of student perception. After deliberation, the name was decidedly pulled from the running; in order to maintain the role of each student, however, the VSA council decided it was only fair to rerun the #NameThatSpace competition, albeit with a few minor modifications.

Abbady was questioned about why the name “Low Main” was ever accepted as a valid space name option to put on the ballot. Abbady didn’t want to interfere in the voting process. “I assumed that most Vassar students would realize the issues with it. Obviously, that didn’t end up happening. In the past, an event similar to this occurred with the trial of having the Deece open late at night. For that situation as well, students submitted names, but it was ultimately the Vice President of Student Life Chris Brown that ended up picking the name.”

Interestingly enough, in the judgment of some members of the Asian community, the punny “Low Main” was not as troublesome as perhaps student communication made it out to be. For international students, “Low Main” too struck their funny bone rather resonantly. VP

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

of the Chinese Students Coalition, Xiaoqing Xu ’18 describes indignance as well, though for an entirely different reason. On behalf of the Chinese Students Coalition, Xu felt justified in expressing offense that Asian-Americans themselves are feeling offended about “Low Main” because they found it to be funny as well. In essence, Xu wants to explicitly define a distinction between nay-sayers and the entire population since their feelings don’t accurately represent their whole sentiment.

Regardless of initial controversy, the student body still mustered up quite a voice with their acceptance of the second round of the #NameThatSpace vote: over 1300 students voted for what is now to be known as The Old Bookstore. A nod to a remnant of Vassar’s past now reinvented, the Old Bookstore appears to be a neutrally charged alternative to the previous possibilities such as The Void, the Cappy Hill Come and Chill Lounge and others.

In the same vein of discontent and public division, initial reception of the space itself has not been too favorable either. Caleb Gruder ’17 admitted his reaction to the new lounge was that it was profoundly disappointing. Exasperatedly, he exclaimed, “This space could have been so much greater than what it is. There could have been a movie section for all the film classes or just students to screen movies, the color scheme and interior decoration are lacking and the ambiance of the area itself is the farthest thing from inviting.”

In contrast to Gruder’s view, however, the younger Chris Langer ’19 looked towards future iterations: “The space actually accomplishes what it sets out to do: provide a space for students to study or socialize or maybe do both.

The physical realization of the idea may seem too half-baked for some, but considering all the obstructions to the lounge’s construction in the first place, it’s not that bad. Honestly, I can see this small little period of discontent ironing out eventually and students coming to accept the space for what it is. For me, it’s still in a period of transition; I know there is going to be further improvements and additions to make the space a student mainstay in the same way UpC was.”

Cheris Congo ’19, however, was quick to detail the logistical difficulties of the space: “The area itself is not that interesting or inviting.

The environment is stale and it has no redeeming qualities. You would think with such quick access to food options like the Late Night Kiosk there would be a reason for me to go, but even the Kiosk isn’t meeting expectations. At least last semester I didn’t have to wait in line forever for a smoothie prepared by someone not yet accustomed to their workspace.”

For any students even slightly dismayed with the new space, hope might be found in the plans for future renovations. As Marianne Begemann mentioned, “Ultimately, through the Campus Master Planning Process we will have a plan for the renovation of Main and the College Center holistically.” As plans continue to evolve and materialize, student input will continue to influence changes to the college’s physical structure. Future students may remember this controversy over The Old Bookstore as a teaching moment.

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February 18, 2016

Hudson Valley opens door to indoor options for local fun Aditi Chandna Reporter

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the slippery pathways of campus, skating at the Mid Hudson Civic Center is a great way to get those blades on, do a couple of twirls and react a few scenes from “Ice Princess,” or if you’re an amateur like me, hold on to the railings and try very hard not to fall.

Another popular way to escape the snow and wind chill is to catch the shuttle to Poughkeepsie Galleria where many Vassar students spend their Saturdays doing a little shopping, hanging out at the food court or catching the latest movies to hit the theaters. Transportation is free if you manage to elbow your way onto the shuttle. The mall is a convenient place to stock up on supplies from target, grab that cute sweater from Macy’s and watch “Deadpool” this weekend.

For all of those cultured students who appreciate the true beauty of music and art and

would like a change of pace from trampoline courts, bowling alley’s and ice skating rinks, there’s always the Bardavon Opera House at 35 Market Street, Poughkeepsie. With a continuous stream of excellent performances and a wide variety of performers throughout the year, it is also a historical site that dates back to the mid-19th century. It’s old school charm and fresh onslaught of performances just shows that one need not go all the way to New York City to enjoy music and the arts and for the typical ‘dinner and a show.’

Though everyone at Vassar is eagerly awaiting the lovely spring weather and to take a crisp stroll over the Walkway over the Hudson, there are plenty of things to do around Poughkeepsie and the Hudson Valley this winter without the fear of frostbite that’ll keep you excited, entertained and most of all, warm!

courtesy of dutchesstourism.com

assar students are notorious for living inside the “Vassar bubble” and who can blame us? Poughkeepsie winters are cold and cruel and all anyone wants to do is snuggle up in bed with hot chocolate and Netflix. If you’re sick and tired of hanging around at the Retreat with nothing to do it might be a good idea to step out of campus and explore the cool things the Hudson Valley has to offer in the winter.

There’s always the option of catching the train to Grand Central for a night on the town, but the Hudson Valley and Poughkeepsie in particular are not half bad for an affordable yet exciting weekend not too far from campus. For those students who are a little more adventurous and like trying out new and exciting things there are a few indoor Hudson Valley Ventures just waiting to be explored that are fun and still manage to keep away the cold.

For those students who look at the tiny rockwall above the water fountain at the All Fitness Center, you know who you are, and crave an opportunity to scamper up bigger, better walls, The Inner Wall in New Paltz provides a fantastic outlet.

The Inner Wall offers both traditional indoor rock climbing and bouldering opportunities. With belaying lessons for purchase and an array of complex rock-wall arrangements the novice or expert climber can thrive.

A first time climber, Amanda S. from Sunnyside, N.Y. reported a great experience with her friend on Yelp, saying, “We got a day pass for belaying, rented equipment, and had a belay orientation (lesson) for a (student) price of $32.

Our instructor, Jenny, was an excellent teacher - thorough and clear in her explanations, patient, and helpful even after our lesson. When she left us, we were confident in our abilities and had a good time trying things out. We were satisfied with the entire experience!”

With affordable student rates and over 4,000 square feet of climbing space, “The Inner Wall” could be your ticket off campus next weekend.

According to an informational video at the gym, “Heroes will rise, and stars will fall.” It’s sure to be a great, challenging time.

Spins Bowls, a closer location, is a bowling arcade located on 47 Taft Avenue, Arlington, not too far away from campus. It provides a host of fun filled activities such as bowling, redemption arcades and laser tag. Wearing bowling shoes is a small price to pay to have a fun day of bowling at Spin Bowls Laser Tag starts in March and is a must go. There’s plenty to eat and drink while you taking a break from all those strikes and/or gutter balls. Spending a Saturday at Spin Bowls is a good way to keep busy, show off that competitive spirit and spend a nice weekend with friends.

Bounce! Trampoline Sports, located on 2 Neptune Road, Poughkeepsie is the place to go if you ever feel like bringing out the inner six-year-old in you. Filled with trampoline courts, dodge ball courts and a slam-dunk basketball court, it’s the perfect place to let loose and bounce out all the stress of life at college.

The Friday special “Jump N Glow” is where the whole of Bounce! Trampoline Sports glows in the dark due to lasers and black lighting.

It gives off the nightclub feel that simultaneously caters to the adult as well as the child in you.

Slam Dunk Basketball is another way to have a great time with friends, while feeling eight feet tall and Michael Jordan-like as you slam dunk ball after ball. Bounce! Trampoline Sports also has an array of refreshments, as well as a lounge and arcade that is a guaranteed way to keep yourself amused and well-fed whenever you need a break from all that jumping up and down. The Mid-Hudson Civic Center is a recreational center that provides enjoyment for all Poughkeepsie residents. It is located at 14 Civic Center Plaza, Poughkeepsie. Though it hosts a wide variety of events and performances such as concerts and theatre shows, its main attraction is the Mcann Ice Arena that is open for public skating.

Instead of trying to skate on Sunset Lake or

Bowlers at the newly remodeled Spins Bowls in Arlington. The rennovations are bringing new energy to the bowling alley, once known as Hoebowl, a favorite of previous Vassar generations.

Brazil feels the health and economic impact of Zika ZIKA continued from page 1

nation is in so much debt that public health is suffering, which is an issue in several other countries where Zika is thriving.

International student Rafaela Vega del Castillo ’18 explained, “There are these elitist hospitals in which you can get tended [to] if you pay a lot, but people with low resources end up going to these hospitals in the middle of the city that are full of patients, where they can’t get treated quickly, where they would have to wait for three weeks to get an appointment even if it’s an emergency. It’s awful.”

Socioeconomic status plays as large a role in the spread and control of disease in Brazil as in much of the world; impoverished areas suffer the most from infection but receive the least attention. Godfrey clarified, “[The virus] mainly has affected poor women. These are generally women from poor neighborhoods and very often informal settlements, shantytowns, [called]

‘favelas.’ These are very susceptible because there’s all this water around. They often don’t have public services or piped water or trash disposal and so forth, so the possibility of mosquitoes proliferating there is enhanced, as opposed to more urban areas of upper class areas where people tend to have screens or use air conditioning.”

Although Rio de Janeiro is located in the south of the country, far from the epicenter of disease in the northeast, the city is being carefully monitored and sanitized in preparation for this summer’s Olympic Games. Godfrey explained, “They’re very concerned about the economic impact of it, because a lot of visitors probably won’t come. There have been big political movements anyway, about the cost of these mega events [World Cup and Olympics]; they’ve gone through billions and billions of dollars in the midst of an economic recession,

courtesy of Muhammad Mahdi Karim

breeding grounds and developing a vaccine to help prevent further spread.

The Brazilian government has mobilized the armed forces to assist in combating the virus in a campaign dubbed “Zero Zika.” Their tactics include destroying potential mosquito habitats, spreading larvicides and distributing preventative information pamphlets to the public, bearing the slogan, “A mosquito isn’t stronger than a whole country” (Reuters, “Brazil enlists army, cabinet in campaign against Zika,” 2.3.16). They recommend covering all open sources of water, a crucial element of prevention given the widespread use of rain barrels as primary household water sources in poorer communities, claimed Professor of Geography Brian Godfrey.

The ultimate long-term solution will likely be a vaccine. In an emailed statement, Harvard University Distinguished Service Professor Barry R. Bloom wrote, “Up until a couple of months ago there was no grant from NIH to do research on Zika because for most people infected, the infection is relatively mild. What has made the difference was the impact on unborn fetuses. It will take lots of time to develop and test a vaccine against Zika.”

Godfrey agree. “Vaccines, in contrast to drugs, are given to people who are healthy; drugs are given to people who are sick,” he said. “[Brazil] has had a number of diseases in the past that they’ve mastered, and one was yellow fever. They introduced a vaccine, and I think that was the key there.”

Panicked governments are also offering less practical advice to worried citizens. The health ministers of Colombia, El Salvador and Ecuador have released statements urging women to avoid becoming pregnant in the coming months or even years, in order to prevent Zika-related birth defects (New York Times, “El Salvador’s Advice on Zika Virus: Don’t Have Babies,” 1.25.16).

Besides the physical environmental conditions, Brazil currently has a complex combination of societal and political factors that make it an ideal breeding ground for an epidemic. The

Zika is rapidly becoming a non-deadly global epidemic. The virus, Flaviviridae, is carried by mosquitos and has close ties to dengue fever. Brazil has recently been hit hard by the virus.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

when the government’s cutting its budget and having difficulty even financing public health.”

Although three cases have been reported in New York, all were people who had traveled to countries outside the US where Zika is present.

There is not much reason to believe that the Zika virus will spread up to New England (New York Times, “Short Answers to Hard Questions about Zika Virus,” 2.12.16).

Bloom agreed in an emailed statement, “There will be cases of people traveling from Zika countries coming to various parts of the US, but the Aedes mosquito doesn’t like the cold in NY or MA and is not likely to be able to transmit the disease here. There is no evidence of direct person to person spread as in the case of Ebola.”

The consensus among professionals and academics is that more information is necessary to be able to fully eradicate Zika. There has not yet been enough research done to determine whether the rash of microcephaly was definitively caused by Zika. More research and dissemination of accurate information should help prevent further spread of Zika. Currently the combination of poor water systems, lack of sufficient health care, and general mistrust of the government is allowing misinformation and the disease itself to flow rapidly (New York Times, “Conspiracy Theories about Zika Spread Along with the Virus,” 2.16.16).

This is not the first epidemic Brazil has seen.

Dengue fever and yellow fever have been just as prolific in the past, and possibly more devastating.

“Brazil, as a humid tropical country, has long wrestled with this question of diseases transmitted by mosquitoes,” said Godfrey. “[However,] I don’t think really most people are too concerned, to tell you the truth. At least in the southern part of Brazil, people are used to mosquitoes. It’s not a novelty.” The unfortunate truth is that insect-borne disease is a constant factor of life in the region, but this epidemic will shed light on, and perhaps lead to improvement of, the issue of inadequate health care in Brazil and beyond.

February 18, 2016

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Orgs split on how to show Israel-Palestine solidarity Stoddard Meigs Guest Reporter

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courtesy of Facebook

The Vassar Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) resolution against Israel has become a pressing topic for students over the last weeks. The arguments for divestment are diverse and complex. the resolution is not adopted, J Street will only have momentary vindication as SJP intends to take it to a referendum, meaning a student vote on the BDS resolution.

Kennedy is determined to see the resolution adopted. He defended the movement saying, “Foremost, it’s always important to establish firmly that it’s not an antisemitic movement.”

He then emphasized that there is a fraying connection between the BDS and academic freedom. He explained that the BDS resolution being proposed is not designed to target individuals, such as potential speakers, but is meant to target companies and institutions.

In “Boycotts Work: An Interview with Omar Barghouti,” a reading distributed by SJP, Barghouti states, “In principle the academic boycott that PACBI is calling for and all our partners are adopting is institutional; therefore, it does not infringe on the rights and privileges of Israeli academics to go out and participate in conferences and so on so long as this is not the product of an institutional link—we are calling for cutting all institutional links, not to cut off visits by individual academics, or artists or cultural figures to participate in events and so on—they can and they do and that will not stop—so it’s really very hypocritical and deceptive to call the academic boycott a form of infringement on academic freedom.”

Kennedy clarified, “BDS in and of itself is not the only possible campaign to secure justice for Palestine, however at the moment it is the only viable movement towards ending the occupation that is gaining momentum and support in the international community. BDS has gained traction because of how clearly wrong the situation is and how clearly this is a situation of the oppressor and the oppressed. The apartheid in Israel has awoken a moral outrage and outcry around the world.”

It is meaningful for American institutions courtesy of William Jacobson

he BDS movement surrounding the Israel-Palestine conflict has started more conversations on campus than we can count this semester. In the last few weeks, the Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) has asked a variety of social-justice oriented VSA organizations to endorse a Vassar Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) resolution against Israel.

Some organizations such as the Multiracial-Biracial Student Alliance (MBSA), the Vassar Prison Initiative (VPI) and the Grassroots Alliance for Alternative Politics (GAAP) have already endorsed the resolution. Others, such as Challah for Hunger and J Street U, have declined to endorse the resolution or were not invited to do so.

Some orgs declined on account of their chapter status. The logic being that the national organization has to endorse BDS before local chapters can. Others simply don’t want to get in the political fray.

Then there are those who have embraced the resolution, as well as all the entrapments of the political movement surrounding it. VPI, for instance, considered condemning the vast Israeli system of criminal justice, in which Palestinian men are spending time in and out of prison and are subjected to solitary confinement. Angela Davis’s lecture was thrown in the mix, as some cited how interlinking of different types of oppression can affect us. As we are complicit with systems of violence overseas, it makes it easier to allow them at home.

At the end of this month, the BDS resolution along with its endorsements will be taken to the VSA, which will then vote on the adoption of the resolution on March 6. If adopted by the VSA or the College’s administration, the BDS resolution would result in the boycott of several Israeli and American companies that are of economic importance to Israel and fulfill guidelines laid out by the Palestinian BDS National Committee.

Some of the changes we would be seeing on campus would include the disappearance of Sabra hummus and Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in the Retreat. “The resolution would reflect internal perceptions at Vassar but will have little bearing on day-to-day life,” says SJP member Paul Kennedy ’19.

The BDS movement began in 2005 when Palestinian Civil Society called for a campaign of boycotts, divestment and sanctions after the International Court of Justice ruled Israel’s West Bank Barrier illegal. The Palestinian Civil Society is made up of over 200 Palestinian organizations including unions, refugee camps, women’s groups and children’s groups.

The Palestinian BDS National Committee laid out three criteria for companies to be targeted: “First, the level of complicity: focusing on companies and products that are most clearly and directly involved in Israel’s human rights violations; second, cross-movement alliance possibility: prioritizing companies or products that enable the creation of broad, cross-struggle alliances; and third, the potential for success: a BDS campaign should have a realistic chance of success.”

The movement was inspired by the successful boycott campaign against the South African Apartheid and calls for similar international support. In America, and especially in American universities and colleges, the movement has been picking up steam. The Vassar BDS website provides a list of “BDS Successes in US Schools” at institutions ranging from West Coast UC’s to East Coast Ivies. The level of commitment varies with each institution, some choosing to divest while others embrace the boycott too.

Here at Vassar, the debate over BDS has been cropping up around campus more and more over the last several weeks. J Street U, a pro-Palestine, pro-Israel Vassar Student Organization, held a meeting to discuss their position on the Vassar BDS resolution this past Monday. The meeting included discussions on whether or not the BDS movement is truly the best path of action. Informational handouts on alternate courses of action were passed around.

The meeting highlighted several key fears the organization had regarding BDS. Campus climate was an initial concern, but issues of academic freedom hit home hardest. They

posited that liberal, pro-Palestinian voices that were in some way linked to Israeli institutions would not be able to come to campus, thereby silencing voices. Another concern was that the VSA would be unwilling to give funds for events or speakers. Evidence to this effect was presented, as some members spoke out against the extreme difficulty to raise funds through the VSA finance committee in the past for events such as these.

The meeting ended with general concern that adopting BDS could be misconstrued by the larger community as being antisemitic. Members voiced concern that their more conservative communities at home would be worried that they were attending an institution that had adopted a BDS resolution. The discussion went so far as to say that prospective students might opt not to attend Vassar if the resolution were adopted.

In their column last week in The Miscellany News, J Street U condemned the Vassar BDS movement. The piece termed BDS pat on the back activism, saying, “It does more to make individuals feel better about themselves than it does to tangibly support the rights of the Palestinian people. BDS is passive and doesn’t take courageous action on behalf of Palestinians.”

Besides criticizing the resolution as ineffective, there was also the concern that “BDS inhibits activism rather than fostering positive discourse and effective action towards ending the occupation of the West Bank” by being “dismissive of Israelis who are pro-Palestine, anti-racism and pro-human rights.”

Sara Abramson ’16, a member of J Street U, clarified, “SJP did not ask J Street to endorse the BDS resolution.” She explained, “Adopting the resolution gives the VSA precedent to not help fund any speakers that come from Israeli institutions which is a huge problem from an educational standpoint. It also demonizes all Israeli institutions, even ones that have very liberal members.”

J Street U wrote last week, “Our primary purpose isn’t to fight BDS. As the sole pro-Israel organization on campus, we intend to be an active participant in the dialogue surrounding the resolution.” However, BDS was not what J Street had in mind. As Abramson put it, “I think J Street, an anti-occupation organization, will be disproportionately effected by this. Because we are the only pro-Israel organization on campus, we are demonized.”

This feeling of being at the receiving end of an attack is echoed in J Street’s article, in which they stress that they do not stand in opposition with SJP but have failed to be able to work with them over the years. J Street U lamented, “Not only is this disheartening, but it is also an impediment to ending the occupation on the West Bank. If our pro-Palestinian organizations worked together, we would be much closer to achieving Palestinian statehood.”

When the BDS resolution is voted on by the VSA at the beginning of next month, many will be waiting intently to hear the decision and wondering what it might personally mean. If

Students for Justice in Palestine has been a central player in the debate across Vassar’s campus on divesting. SJP recently hosted a series of events called Hip-Hop is Bigger than the Occupation.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

to adopt BDS as well, asserts Kennedy. “I also think that within the U.S., BDS is especially important when you consider how complicit we are in the occupation through billions of dollars of aid to Israel,” he remarked.

This semester the campus has already hosted several pro-Palestine events. This past weekend, M1, a member of the Brooklyn rap group Dead Prez, came to campus to perform for the event Hip Hop is Bigger than the Occupation. Several of the leaders of campus organizations attended a brunch with the performer on Saturday morning in UPC, hosted by SJP. The week before that, on Feb. 3, Associate Professor of Women and Gender Studies at Rutgers University Jasbir K. Puar gave a lecture in Rocky 200 titled “Inhumanist Biopolitics: How Palestine Matters.” The talk centered around the Isreal-Palestine conflict and included accounts of cruel tactics used by Israeli Defense Force (IDF) soldiers against Palestinian civilians such as using live ammunition to cripple Palestinian men.

The talk was received well by the crowd at Rocky. Outside the room, SJP was tabling for their future events and publicizing their campaign for the Vassar BDS resolution. However, there were other opinions voiced, not publicly, but to friends in reaction to the lecture.

Abramson shared that a younger student had said, “If [that student] didn’t know anything about Vassar or the lecturer and took everything [Professor Puar] said as truth [that student] would be terrified to go here.”

Sadly, Professor Puar’s lecture was not the only potentially disturbing event for this student recently. The J Street U meeting and the push for Vassar Student Organizations to endorse the BDS resolution is also coming on the heels of antisemitic posts on the social media app Yik Yak. In response to a Zionist post, a user anonymously replied “F**k Jews” setting off ripples of fear and unrest at Vassar.

Here at Vassar, the decision is looming and campus will soon be forced to come to a decision of whether or not to support the movement. One resource Vassar students are consulting in their attempts to learn more is the word of Omar Barghouti, sometimes called the father of the BDS movement. Barghouti is adamant in his defense of BDS. He once stated, “Conflating time-honored, human-rightsbased boycotts of Israel’s violations of international law with anti-Jewish racism is not only false, it is a racist attempt to put all Jews into one basket and to implicate them in Israel’s crimes against the Palestinians.”

In an interview by Electronic Intifada, Barghouti was asked about the effect of BDS on academic freedom. This is a debate that has deep historical roots, and though Vassar is relatively new to the forum, it’s important not to forget the conversation’s roots. Barghouti responded by saying that denying Palestinians their rights in Israel also denies academic freedom. Yet, he laments, “We never heard those liberal voices when Israel shut down Palestinian universities during the first intifada. We haven’t heard much of an outcry among those liberals who are now shouting academic freedom. Is academic freedom a privilege to whites only?”

FEATURES

Page 8

February 18, 2016

Simple egg and fried rice recipe with a complex taste Penina Remler Reporter

I

couresty of Eric Sung/The New York Times

t took quite some time for me to finally delve headlong into my fried egg phase.

This choice of timing is not because I had any particularly longstanding fear of the running yolk, but rather because I always used to hesitate before ordering them.

Rather than be abashed when asked the inevitable question, “how do you like them cooked?” I could not seem to get past the incredible complexity that is the fried egg, and the true art form that is its preparation and presentation.

Every time I thought I was playing it safe by ordering what I thought was just “two eggs,” but then I suddenly became stuck when given only a few mere seconds to follow up with how exactly I wanted my eggs served.

At this point, I was generally way, way too embarrassed to ask for any sort of explanation, so my approach would usually be to just mumble something along the lines of “yolk broken.” The yolk was not always broken, however. Sometimes the yolk was prepared to a beautiful sunny side up, flipped to a scrumptious over easy or cooked.

This was initially quite confusing, though it would ultimately turn into a true blessing.

I had gone from being utterly clueless about the staple breakfast food to being completely intrigued by the myriad ways to deliver a fried egg.

Once crossing over at long last to the fried egg side, I couldn’t help but note the many ways in which to munch on this delicious, protein-filled addition to a healthy diet.

Some people stuck to sausage on the side.

Others organized an impressive bagel sandwich. Others still choose an even healthier route, opting to garnish their fried eggs with spinach, tomato or even sauteed mushrooms.

The list goes on ad infinitum.

But the best part about it, you may ask? I quickly learned that fried eggs were not lim-

ited to their traditional context of breakfast food. In fact, when well done, a fried egg is the seemingly the cherry on top to all things savory, no matter what the occasion.

This brings me to a recently discovered and really simple recipe: jasmine rice topped with finely chopped ginger and a fried egg.

This simple yet special dish is the easiest way to make a meal appear fancy, but without any added stress.

Like most fried rice recipes, the dish begins with its main component: rice. In fact, with regards to fried rice, the secret boils down (pun intended) to leftovers (since cooking with fresh rice will be too moist).

Many folks tend to incorporate jasmine rice, but any form of the starch will do just fine, even if it conveniently comes out of your average Sunday night take out box.

As we move away from the grain, be sure to scope out fresh sources of ginger and garlic. These two ingredients are crucial flavors in the final product of the dish, especially when accompanied by leeks.

This is, of course, as long as they get along with your own personal taste, buds. Be sure not to forget to assemble this hearty mix of flavors in a large heated skilled with help from peanut oil to produce crispy, golden results.

Once the leftover rice is brought back from the dead (with quick help from chicken fat and/or chicken stock), mix it with its supplemental garnishes over heat. After the rice is well heated and topped with salt, it is best to mould it carefully onto a plate with a steady surface so that it can support its toppings without falling apart.

After assembling your base, carefully place the fried egg (without breaking the yolk, if possible) and sprinkle any additional garlic, ginger and leek garnishes. This very simple, yet very satisfying meal is sure to impress both the eyes and the appetite, but be warned, those leftover plain rice days are likely to come to an end.

Recipe Serves 4 1/2 Cup Peanut Oil 2 Tablespoons Minced Garlic 2 Tablespoons Minced Ginger Salt 2 cups thinly sliced leeks 4 cups day-old rice 4 large eggs (1 per serving) 2 teaspoons sesame oil 4 teaspoons soy sauce

Campos discusses personal struggle with depression CAMPOS continued from page 1

powerment to seek help when they need it.

There are numerous chapters on campuses nationwide advocating open conversations about these subjects. The organization was founded

by Alison Malmon in 2003 after her brother committed suicide. Created with the intent to let students feel safe when bringing up topics of mental health like depression and anxiety, Active Minds has expanded itself over the last 13 years in the fight to benefit the lives of young adults across the country. Recently, the organization has focused on researching the mental health of college students of color, a demographic that hasn’t received a significant amount of attention in the past.

In an article from December 2012 on The Huffington Post, Founder and Executive Director Alison Malmon, speaking on the necessity discussions on mental health are communally, remarked, “[W]e need to start talking about

these things not because of a lone man who caused unbelievable pain to our nation, but because one in four American adults live with a diagnosable mental health disorder like depression, anxiety, eating disorders and post-traumatic stress every single day. And we need to start talking about it because of the approximately 100 people in our country every day who feel so hopeless and helpless that they take their own lives leaving families and communities in anguish.”

“We hope that mental health awareness events do numerous things,” Pabst said about the importance of safe spaces for such a serious topic. “[We hope it] takes away the stigma of mental health issues, aids students in seeking services and support–especially students who may have other barriers in reaching out for help, [and] aid students in general raise awareness to the community on how to provide a safe

courtesy of Active Minds Blog

anxiety and depression and hopes to use these experiences to help guide the lecture.

Born in Virginia to Guatemalan parents, Campos had to balance belonging to two separate cultures while struggling with his mental health. Without a healthy way of coping, Campos developed a substance abuse problem and made an attempt on his life at the end of high school. He then struggled in facilities for depression and addiction treatments with little success. Eventually, he was diagnosed with ADHD, which allowed him to reconfigure his method of treatment.

Since those days, Campos has become a public speaker, advocating for Active Minds, and is almost eight years sober. Because of all that he had to endure, Campos’s lecture offers a great opportunity to hear from someone who has been able to overcome such pain.

Explaining how Campos’s experience can help those struggling with mental health issues, Director of Health Education Renee Pabst said, “Our hope that students who feel alone in their struggle with mental health issues, whichever those issues may be and especially around depression/suicidal realize they are not alone, that there are services and support for them.

The speakers from Active Minds have been at the point where they felt alone and no hope and their stories demonstrate that things will get better through seeking support and counseling.”

One of the subjects Campos will be talking about is the effects of being the child of immigrants had on his mental health. Speaking about the effect this can have, Director of Psychological Services at Baldwin Wendy Freedman, Ph.D., said, “For students from marginalized backgrounds, navigating the complexities of an oppressive society can contribute to significant stress which at times leads to psychological struggle. The Counseling Service staff works to help reduce the stigma of mental health concerns so that all students can access support.”

Active Minds is a nonprofit organization that focuses on the destigmatization of mental health among students to give them the em-

Active Minds speaker Pablo Campos will come to Vassar on Feb. 23 to discuss his own personal struggle with anxiety and depression. He hopes to make students aware of their support networks.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

and supportive environment for our students.”

Here at Vassar, there are many options available to students. Lectures like Campos’s are happening all the time on campus. Resources like TLC and CARES give students the opportunity to speak to someone non-judgmentally and anonymously about any problems they feel might be affecting them. Within the Office of Health Education are wellness peer educators who can provide more information and help on health and wellness topics.

Wellness peer educator and one of the organizers of this lecture Otuwe Anya ’18 said about the benefits these lectures can have, “I believe that hearing stories and associating an individual with a mental health issue does help demystify it. It brings a separation between a mental illness as a foreign intangible concept to become no longer something but someone.

Therefore, changing the scope of understanding and approach. Thus, knowing someone who deals with these issues makes it more real, and it also may give strength to individuals dealing with similar issues to seek assistance.”

Despite the amount of resources that college campuses have or can refer students to, there is an overwhelming stigma that the words “mental health” and “depression” have. In many ways, these phrases have a great deal of vulnerability in them, a part of us that we cannot control and therefore see as a weakness. But no one can be happy if they’re not healthy. The more these things are ignored, the worse their problems become. Mental health is a constant focus in our everyday lives and it deserves the attention.

Many are afraid of asking for help because of the perceived repercussions, but trying to get better is really the only way to actually get better.

Stating the overall effect discussions such as Campos’s can have on Vassar’s students, Freedman said, “Speaking openly about these experiences reduces stigma and shame, and hopefully encourages students to reach out for support.

Survivors can also lend hope to students who are struggling, helping them to recognize that things can get better with support and time.”

February 18, 2016

OPINIONS

Page 9

The Miscellany News Staff Editorial

BDS discourse should be more accessible for students O

n Mar. 6, the VSA will vote on the Vassar Boycott, Divestment, Sanctions (BDS) Resolution, one part of a larger movement set forth by the Palestinian BDS National Committee. Though the past semester marked a noticeable increase in discourses surrounding both BDS and the larger Israel-Palestine Conflict as the VSA nears its vote, the Vassar community has been locked in this debate for years.

Students who have clung to neutrality might soon find the debate at their doorstep (and in their inboxes) as a referendum. With recent calls for anonymity to protect VSA representatives, we at The Miscellany News recognize the polarizing and often toxic climate surrounding these issues and call for active towards a more inclusive and open conversation about BDS. If the VSA votes in support of the resolution, the result would affect the entire student body by determining the use of VSA funds. Many students with a personal stake in the Israel-Palestine conflict have personally felt the effects of an increasingly divided campus climate. Two weeks ago, anti-semitic messages on Yik Yak prompted a Bias Alert Report and joined a slew of anti-semitic allegations against Vassar. Discriminatory language, in any form, threatens students’ ability to safely engage in the BDS debate.

As Vassar’s administration addresses anti-semitism, the community must not forget about the rampant Islamophobia that continues to affect discourse surrounding the Middle East. Middle-Eastern voices are often silenced by racial and cultural discrimination that is increasingly tied to a warped, post-9/11 sense of patriotism. Vassar’s campus is not exempt, as evidenced by the an-

ti-Muslim, anti-Arab social media posts described in another recent Bias Incident Alert Report. At the same time, discriminatory slurs attributed to anti-Zionism falsely conflate criticism of Israel with antisemitism, a misconception often used to invalidate Palestinian beliefs.

When we use rhetoric that disrespects the identities of members of our community, we derail productive conversation and endanger students. The hateful speech thrown around anonymous social media demonstrates Vassar’s need for neutral, safe spaces in which students can exchange ideas without experiencing bias, spreading misinformation or fearing an attack.

The desire among many VSA representatives to vote anonymously indicates a pervasive pressure around these issues. This pressure comes out of the polarized dialogue surrounding BDS issues, which creates a binary that elicits conflict and argument rather than education and discussion. It seems that students who do not fully understand the goals or implications of the BDS movement or the complex and nuanced issues surrounding it have nowhere to turn to receive this information.

Several on-campus political organizations—including J Street U, Jewish Voice for Peace and Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP)—organize weekly meetings and campus-wide programming to provide education on the Israel-Palestine conflict.

However, these spaces naturally come with bias based on that organization’s goals and viewpoints. This does not mean that these organizations are problematic, but rather that without neutral discourse, they create a charged environment that makes it challeng-

ing to enter the conversation.

Perhaps some of the hesitancy of students to offer their opinion is a lack of knowledge on the topics at hand. Students that feel uninformed are much less likely to step into a debate.

In addition to the absence of unbiased information, the debate-based atmosphere surrounding the issues seems to lend itself to a more combative culture. Students that are already reluctant to share their opinions due to being uninformed are even less likely to do so if they feel that they will be attacked or debated as a result. This creates a culture where only the loudest and most passionate opinions are heard, and newcomers are only able to join in if they take up this style as well.

We believe that these issues are extremely important for all students to learn about and discuss, not only because the BDS referendum vote will have effects on daily student life, but also because these initiatives are pertinent to the world beyond Vassar.

Therefore, something must be changed about the campus climate regarding the BDS resolution.

There should be opportunities to learn about these concerns in a neutral atmosphere that focuses more on education and less on conflict. This by no means belittles the conflicting opinions among those who have a firm grasp on the history and social issues of BDS, but merely requests additional means of accessible discourse.

The reality is that the Israel-Palestine conflict and BDS movement cannot be fully grasped from any button or pamphlet. These complex issues deserve time and attention before a student can come to terms with an

opinion or stance on the issue. Though it is great that our campus has groups of people who already have these stances, the only way we can get more of them is through education. This education should be offered by non-affiliated groups, for whom there is no underlying agenda or slant.

Obviously, not every student can enroll in a history course on Israel and Palestine; however there are ways to promote learning and education about these issues.

House teams can sponsor study breaks that could serve as a space to discuss these topics from a campus climate perspective, since this can be an extremely challenging topic to talk about. Houses are also neutral spaces that aren’t already affiliated with partial parties.

As for the actual education portion, workshops led by qualified professors could provide a good platform to investigate the nuances and complexities of the BDS solution.

We know that professors have their own feelings about the resolution but professors are resources for students and as such, they are obligated to present us with uninfluenced insight.

Additionally, the VSA could hold a panel or send a comprehensive letter explaining the bureaucratic process of the resolution and the implications it has on student life.

We at The Miscellany News believe that Vassar has the resources to promote a less polarized dialogue surrounding BDS and should foster a community where everyone can learn about and contribute to challenging global issues.

—The Staff Editorial represents the opinions of at least 2/3 of our Editorial Board.

Justice Scalia’s controversial legacy difficult to navigate Nick Barone Columnist

A

s our car bounded up a narrow, two-lane road, sunlight just barely illuminating the picturesque rural expanse, my phone pinged urgently and intrusively. I barely discerned a dull glow on the screen on my phone, my mind focused on the jovial conversation the car and I were engaged in. I shifted my eyes from the tranquility of upstate New York’s vast, suntinged grandeur, to the tiny New York Times notification banner on the screen.

Antonin Scalia was dead. I paused for a moment. Moments like these, however callous it may seem, more often than not do not have any impact on me, especially when involving a political figure whose career highlights I find questionable at best and utterly reprehensible at worst.

As I read the news aloud to my friends, the looming significance of the justice’s passing became more and more apparent as we continued further down the road, as did his immense and controversial judicial legacy. However, perhaps more poignantly, the implications of Scalia’s personal trajectory and career within my own life crept up, creating a tension within me between my political convictions and my upbringing.

As an Italian-American, northern New Jersey native, my personal perception of Scalia was colored by the way he was treated in my hometown and extended family, with the underlying notion that he was “one of our own” permeating much of local and familial discourse. My grandfather in particular gravitated strongly towards the Supreme Court justice, being only seven years his senior. Both were the children of immigrant fathers and had their initial upbringings in atypically urban areas of New Jersey.

The first text I got from my father when I informed him of Scalia’s death was, “Grandpa’s not gonna be happy about that.”

Samuel Alito was a former resident of my hometown. This only further heightened local interest in their careers and made the outpouring of emotion for Scalia’s passing all the more impactful.

To have two Italian-American, New Jer-

sey-bred men serving on the highest court of the nation was significant for the large Italian-American population of the town. This often transcended politics (though the town is predominantly conservative). Despite my own ambivalence towards my relationship with the area I was raised in and my own Italian-American identity, I couldn’t help but feel an uneasiness at his passing. It signified something within me that I couldn’t exactly describe.

How could I possibly identify with a man who likened homosexuality to bestiality and suggested that African-American students should enroll in “lesser schools” as an argument against affirmative action? I openly detest his tenure on the Supreme Court and disagree with probably every single opinion he’s ever written. What was happening?

I return to the text I sent from my father: my grandfather “was not gonna be happy about that.” Why? A tangible success story and public representation of the identities he most resonated with (Italian-American, male, white, Roman Catholic, heterosexual) had died. As described in The Washington Post, “Scalia, the son of an Italian immigrant father and product of a rigorous Jesuit education, will also be described as a testament to the American story. This is what a life can become in a country where equality and opportunity reign and where religious institutions have made meaningful contributions to public life” (The Washington Post, “Antonin Scalia: A brilliant legal mind who snubbed civil rights at nearly every turn,” 02.14.2016).

While I took issue with the concept of the U.S. being a country where “equality and opportunity reign,” it would be fallacious to deny the role of the “American dream” within my privileged heritage.

My grandfather is a person with whom I identify and connect, regardless of our many generational-cultural differences. Despite my discomfort and disillusionment with much of what constitutes my upbringing, I was forced to wrestle with the notion that perhaps Scalia’s life and death meant more for my roots than I would ever like to admit.

My uneasiness and tension could be felt across the nation as pundits, politicians and the

public reacted to his death.

The Onion published an article, “Justice Scalia Dead Following 30-Year Battle With Social Progress,” soon after the news broke. It was a humorous reaction to what was (and is) going to be a watershed moment for both the Court and Constitutional interpretation in the United States. It also evoked the non-satirically charged reactions of many people (often manifested in Facebook comments) to his passing.

One of the top comments on that article’s post was, “the guy was scum when it came to rights so i dont care.” Similar sentiments propagated across the Internet, clashing both with outpouring of sympathy and those who acknowledged his service as a justice while simultaneously asserting their stark difference from his views.

As always happens, fighting erupted across social media over the treatment of his death (some found The Onion article crass and untimely).

The main difference between the public’s reaction to the passing of Scalia and the passing of other figures was rarely do I see people say “good riddance” after a father of nine children dies. Others were quick to thank him for his service to the United States, regardless of political association.

I don’t really know where I stand. I mourn for the loss of a father, husband and grandfather. However, saying I appreciate the service he did for our nation would be a lie (as juvenile as that sounds). The comments he has made about women, immigrants, LGBT individuals and African Americans are repugnant and this was reflected in his judicial attitude (Romer v. Evans, Lawrence v. Texas, Shelby County v.

Holder, etc.).

Scalia’s relationship with civil rights has been among the largest reasons I find it difficult to appreciate his tenure. Shelby County v.

Holder remains a profound embellishment on Scalia’s record, when he described the Voting Rights Act as “racial entitlement” and heavily implied that “the role of the Court...is to step in when members of Congress are scared of being called racist” (The New Yorker, “In Voting Rights, Scalia Sees a ‘Racial Entitlement,’” 02.28.2013).

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

In a year marked by severe gutting of the Voting Rights Act, Scalia’s racially charged and inherently discriminatory rhetoric mattered.

I eagerly hope that Obama’s appointment will be someone who will undo a lot of the damage Scalia and his contemporaries have made to the Voting Rights Act, women’s rights, environmental protection and campaign finance law. This only further complicates the implicit role he played in the community and family that took part in raising me.

Antonin Scalia, a champion for textualist interpretations of the Constitution has come to represent the highly stylized and palatable brand of conservatism propagated by the Reagan administration (the same type ever-present in the suburb I come from). Presidential candidate Donald Trump released an official statement echoing the sentiments reverberating across the right: “The totally unexpected loss of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia is a massive setback for the Conservative movement and our COUNTRY!” Scalia’s death will certainly prove to be problematic for the conservative faction of our nation, especially in the context of a crumbling and divided GOP, young people shifting further and further left, and a highly polarized Congress. GOP efforts to block a potential Obama appointee mounted seemingly minutes after Scalia’s death was publicly announced. The politicizing of his death has furthered the ideological divide federally.

Antonin Scalia was a judicial juggernaut, known for his highly charged dissents and strict textualist analysis that cemented him as a paragon for American conservatism who fought against judicial activism and what he perceived to be federal overreach.

Antonin Scalia was an Italian-American New Jerseyan who does not consider deep-dish pizza actual pizza, a close friend of liberal heroine Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and a father and husband.

I don’t know what his career means for me. I don’t know what his death means for me. And maybe it’s exactly that anxiety, that inquietude that the nation is grappling with. Perhaps Scalia’s life and death mean more for the roots of our country than we would ever like to admit.

OPINIONS

Page 10

February 18, 2016

Divestment campaign fuels campus environmental efforts Vassar College Fossil Fuel Divestment Guest Contributers

D

ear Vassar Community,

We would like to begin by thanking President Hill for taking the time to respond to our call for fossil fuel divestment in her letter. We would like to address both President Hill and the Vassar community in our reply.

First, we appreciate that President Hill acknowledges that climate change is a critical issue and recognizes how necessary policy change is in our community, the country and the world. As an institution of higher learning, our college indeed has the responsibility to take a leading role in implementing these changes.

This responsibility reinforces and harmonizes with Vassar’s mission as an educational institution. We are very proud of the steps that Vassar is taking towards mitigating its own carbon impact. We recognize the groundbreaking nature of some of these developments as well as the significant time and effort they have required. However, climate change is an issue of such urgency that we must take action in every way possible, and as soon as possible. Moving toward individual or institutional carbon neutrality does not excuse us from fulfilling our duty to push for large-scale political and social change. Ultimately while reducing our CO₂ emissions is necessary, it will not be enough.

The political system is rigged in favor of big industry and is hostile to positive change such as development of renewables. Initiatives to reduce Vassar’s carbon footprint and improve energy efficiency are necessary, and we adamantly support such actions. However, there is an urgent need for systemic changes that cannot come with technological fixes alone. Such systemic change demands a shift in the political discourse that can only be achieved by undermining the influence fossil fuel companies hold over the political process. By divesting, we will withdraw our implicit support for the industry’s destructive practices and highlight their inappropriate domination of the United States political process. In short, Vassar’s divestment, in concert with action by hundreds of other institutions, will pave the way for a world free from fossil fuels. To clarify, divestment is a political movement whose goal is to raise awareness and prepare the way for more radical changes in our society, like a carbon tax.

Vassar has encouraged defending social justice and progressive engagement with the broader society. Moreover, its mission statement includes promoting “analytical, informed, and independent thinking...and engaged citizenship.” Vassar must put into practice the values outlined in its mission statement. When faced with a global crisis as severe as climate change, Vassar is compelled to act strongly and decisively. To do otherwise would be to set a poor example of “engaged citizenship” for its students. We do not claim that divesting from fossil fuels is the only available course of political action to slow climate change, but it is a powerful and necessary one. Moreover, divestment can be implemented in conjunction with the sustainability steps President Hill noted. In fact, we would argue that Vassar’s moves toward sustainability over the past years show that our divestment campaign has already had an impact. Vassar is a microcosm of larger po-

litical and social systems. Many people have worked very hard on sustainability initiatives, and we do not intend to diminish the value of their work. However, we believe that the presence of a fossil fuel divestment campaign at Vassar has helped create a political climate on campus that is much more conducive to environmental reform. We illuminated the urgency of climate change and demanded action. The board of trustees and the administration now know that student activists will hold them accountable for acting on climate change. We imagine the administration hoped we would be satisfied with present sustainability initiatives, but we are not. Continued pressure from the divestment campaign has left an impact. Vassar administrators often encourage us to work towards the establishment of a national carbon tax. They say that the divestment movement does not have the political efficacy necessary to incentivize a carbon tax, and yet in the few years since we began campaigning for divestment on campus there have already been steps toward implementing an internal carbon tax here. Clearly, divestment has already been partially successful.

At the national and global levels, the divestment movement contributes to changing the political atmosphere. Public opinion is now turning against the fossil fuel industry, paving the way for strong regulation and legislation. In divesting, Vassar would join the proud ranks of Stanford, Oxford, Hampshire, Pitzer, Georgetown, the Universities of California, Syracuse and the University of Massachusetts Foundation, not to mention whole cities like San Francisco, Calif.; Santa Fe, N.M.; Amherst, Mass.; Boulder, Colo.; Melbourne, Australia and Oslo, Norway. It would be joining the global call to end the destructive practices of the fossil fuel industry. A few years ago, Vassar could have been a trailblazer, a leader in this historical moment. We are rapidly losing this opportunity.

Soon we will only be able to follow the example of other institutions. As students, we want our school to lead and to stand by our values.

President Hill mentioned Vassar’s academic progress in the environmental and scientific fields. It is sadly ironic that our endowment profits from the irreversible destruction of the very environment we are taught to study and conserve. Moreover, we are funding companies that actively deny climate science and finance misleading studies. For example, it recently emerged that Exxon has long known about the environmentally degrading effects of their fossil fuel extraction, but intentionally withheld this information from the public. Another irony exists in Vassar’s raising of $125 million for the new science building, which promotes environmental awareness even while disrupting the ecosystem it straddles and lacks the technology for carbon neutrality.

One common fear is that divestment would put financial aid at risk. However, our proposal only targets direct investment in 200 fossil fuel companies, which represent a small portion of the endowment. For this reason, even the most opposed administrators acknowledge that our fossil fuel divestment proposal would not impact financial aid. In fact, as a movement fighting for social and climate justice, economic equality at Vassar and in the world is of utmost importance to us.

The administration often suggests that we

spend our time doing something “political” such as going door to door and getting people out to vote, educated on the issues, etc.

Divestment, however, is inherently an educational campaign that in effect raises awareness about climate change. Activism relying on the current political system, which President Hill advocates, is limited by the nature of available candidates as well as rigid election cycles. Divestment is not subject to the whims of the political process and can continue to build momentum around the clock. Moreover, as long as mainstream political candidates can accept campaign donations from fossil fuel companies without significant backlash, no political candidate will do enough to avert climate disaster.

The unfortunate reality of the political status quo is that a few college students lobbying in their spare time will accomplish little against the tremendous influence fossil fuel companies hold over politics and economics. By contrast, the divestment movement forwards a strong political and moral statement against fossil fuel corporations, while increasing public awareness and discussion. It is long past time for Vassar College to join this movement.

While we appreciate the Campus Investor Responsibility Committee (CIRC)’s consideration of our proposal for divestment, we have so far been denied the opportunity to argue our case in front of the full board of trustees. The Trustee Investor Responsibility Committee (TIRC) has not yet voted on our updated proposal, which in fact greatly differs from the one put forward in 2013. CIRC’s “consensus” against our updated proposal, to which President Hill refers, is misleading because of the current imbalanced composition of the Committee.

CIRC is supposed to be composed of two students, two administrators, two faculty, and two alumnae. However, four administrators and a trustee sit on CIRC, while students’ voices are largely ignored. Despite this imbalance, CIRC’s decision was, in fact, hardly a consensus, barely garnering a majority against our proposal.

Neither CIRC, TIRC nor the board of trustees accurately represent the values of the Vassar community regarding this issue.

In regards to Vassar’s policy on divestment and fiduciary responsibility, it has been suggested that it is appropriate to divest only in cases of genocide. While we agree that climate change does not represent deliberate killings of specific groups of people, they do have disproportionately disastrous effects on already-marginalized groups, such as women, people of color, low-income communities and indigenous groups. According to The Guardian, over 300,000 people each year already die just from climate related disasters such as extreme weather, food and water scarcity and climate change-induced violence. Unless we act soon, millions more will die as the climate destabilizes. We can no longer allow Vassar to support or profit from the crisis that will define our generation.

We acknowledge the importance of changing our consumption of greenhouse gases and the ability in some cases of shareholders to influence companies’ policies. However, our objection to fossil fuel corporations is their very existence. No amount of shareholder activism with a coal company, for example, will be able to change its business model away from extracting coal, as it exists solely to profit from

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such extraction. We would have an extremely small say in the actions of enormous companies, even if we should decide to take shareholder action. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, as highlighted in a report by Northstar Asset Management, Inc. in 2013: A major roadblock to working with companies from within the shareholder framework is that Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) policy restricts shareholders from engaging with firms on operational issues. This does not allow shareholders to modify the business model or to engage with firms directly on the problem of keeping oil reserves in the ground.

The fossil fuel divestment movement has, in fact, been one of the major factors in increasing awareness about climate change. Divestment was both discussed and acted upon during the Paris COP21 climate talks. Nevertheless, it has been suggested that there are better ways for Divest VC student activists to spend their time, such as lobbying for a national carbon tax. Though it’s claimed that fossil fuel divestment is ineffective, purely symbolic or may have no political impact, it seems that the school has belied their own argument against divestment wrong by the actions they have taken in response to our campaign. A perceptive observer will notice that, since the beginning of our efforts, Vassar has taken more steps to be environmentally friendly. In fact, we believe it is unlikely the school would be exploring the possibility of a carbon tax if it were not for the awareness that our campaign has raised in conjunction with others working towards environmental goals.

We would like to close by reiterating our appreciation for President Hill’s willingness to address and respond to this important issue, as well as her openness to discussion with our campaign. She has revealed herself to be our ally in many ways and we are grateful for that.

Some of the trustees would eliminate divestment as an option and strategy entirely. President Hill recognizes the validity and utility of divestment in certain circumstances, though she does not yet see the wisdom in applying this tactic to the climate crisis. However, we believe that through our efforts we can continue to make it clear that the fossil fuel industry is sufficiently morally heinous to warrant divestment. President Hill has recognized divestment as valid in situations involving genocide.

Given the disproportionate impacts of climate change on people of color, women and cultures dependent on vulnerable ecosystems, climate change and fossil fuel extraction can be defined as genocidal acts. We fervently hope President Hill uses her influence to push the trustees to divest. As students at Vassar we have the right to influence our community, and hope that the trustees will listen to our voices as an integral part of their responsibility to the college. The urgency of climate change requires us to take action on as many fronts as possible. We laud the environmental efforts Vassar is undertaking, and stress that divestment from fossil fuels is just one necessary part of our continued work to combat climate change.

Sincerely, The Vassar College Fossil Fuel Divestment Campaign

Speak your mind and write for the Opinions section! email misc@vassar.edu for more information!

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

February 18, 2016

OPINIONS

Shareholder role crucial in climate reform President Catherine Hill Guest Contributer

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limate change is a crucial challenge facing our world and members of our campus community are absolutely right to be concerned and to demand action. The world that we inhabit is going to be less stable and less hospitable unless we make important policy and consumption changes soon.

At Vassar, we are responding to concerns about climate change and the environment in a number of ways. We have supported a wide variety of sustainability initiatives involving the institution and individuals, from green building projects to recycling efforts. In 2011, we adopted a greenhouse gas (GHG) reduction plan and since then we have significantly reduced our emissions, exceeding our targeted reductions. Using 2005 GHG emissions as a baseline, we’ve reduced our emissions by 33 percent, ahead of the three percent annual reduction targeted in the plan. This past fall the college committed to two major renewable energy initiatives involving solar and hydro power. These initiatives will enable Vassar to meet more than twenty percent of its electricity needs from clean energy sources, and make significant progress to reduce our carbon footprint.

Our curriculum includes an Environmental Studies program and other courses geared toward climate change and innovative energies.

In fact, more than 100 courses across departments and programs center on sustainability and climate change. Additionally our faculty are involved in research efforts that address aspects of climate change. In 2014, Vassar received a Silver recognition from the Sustainability Tracking, Assessment and Rating System (STARS), the most respected sustainability reporting framework for colleges.

Vassar is in the process of adopting our next set of GHG targets, and I have asked the Sustainability Committee to make a recommendation for achieving carbon neutrality in the near future. Their work includes exploring the possibility of an internal carbon tax, which may help inform state and national public policies, as well as contribute to the education of our student body (more details on the college’s initiatives can be found at sustainability.vassar. edu).

This semester, some students and other members of our community are asking the college to divest its endowment funds from fossil fuel stocks. There has been recent consensus among both our Campus Investor Responsibility and Trustee Investor Responsibility committees that such divestment is not the appropriate approach for the college.

During the 2014/15 academic year, students from the VC Fossil Fuel Divestment Campaign submitted a proposal to the Campus Investor Responsibility Committee (CIRC) to divest from fossil fuel companies. CIRC, which consists of administrators, faculty, students and alumnae/i, has been the college committee responsible for considering such proposals and making recommendations to the Board of Trustees under Vassar’s governance policies. A similar but not identical proposal was submitted to CIRC in 2013. At the time the committee did not endorse the proposal to divest, and forwarded their recommendation not to do so to the Trustee Investor Responsibility Committee (TIRC). TIRC agreed with CIRC’s position on the proposal, as did the Board of Trustees, which has the final word on all endowment matters.

Members of CIRC reported this decision to the students who had submitted the proposal. I announced the decision in a letter to the Vassar community in August 2013, which was also posted in the President’s display case in the College Center. The new proposal to divest was submitted to CIRC during the previous academic year. CIRC has now acted on that proposal, and once again voted not to divest. Still members of TIRC have agreed to meet with students from the VC Fossil Fuel Divestment Campaign during the February Board of Trustees meetings to discuss the issues.

To address the climate crisis, we need to reduce production and consumption of fuels that generate greenhouse gases. Divestment will not change incentives to reduce such consumption and production; our local, state and federal policy makers are in the best position

to do this by strengthening the incentives that we all face. This includes all producers. Not only the fossil fuel industries, but also industries that produce goods and services that use fossil fuels, and all consumers, including students, colleges and universities. Those in favor of divestment would not disagree that our sustainability efforts are valuable and that changing incentives are needed, but would argue that these activities are not mutually exclusive with divestment.

Many believe that it is more effective to actively engage with companies as shareholders, rather than divest. By divesting, institutions give up their ability to influence company policy to other shareholders, who may not share similar values or concerns; the college believes that shareholder activism is preferable to divestment. Vassar, through CIRC and TIRC, votes on shareholder proxies every year. Over the last five years CIRC and TIRC have voted on an average of 21 proxies a year, 29 percent of which have related to environmental issues.

Informed political engagement, ever-clearer scientific evidence and strong leadership have meant that climate change is now clearly on the national and international agenda of significant issues to be addressed. Just this past December, 187 countries pledged to take climate action at the UN Paris Summit. In advance of the summit, Vassar signed onto the American Campuses Act on Climate Pledge along with 200 other colleges, committing itself to further action on climate change.

“...the college believes that shareholder activism is preferable to divestment.”

As political debate in the United States on climate change continues, there are advocates for fossil fuel divestment who believe that some of these companies may have been in part responsible for postponing effective public policy by funding “climate denier” research.

Whether shareholder activism or divestment would be more effective as a response to these concerns is one more level of the debate.

In addition to not providing effective incentives for change, divestment could reduce the resources that colleges and universities with endowments have to spend on higher education by reducing expected returns and increasing investment risk and volatility. If returns on the endowment decline as a result of constraining investment options–which most investment professionals say will be the case–Vassar would need to cut expenditures on something to make up for the lost revenue. These expenditure reductions could fall on projects to improve the sustainable use of energy or perhaps on financial aid for lower-income students, hurting efforts to improve our access and affordability.

These are real possibilities to bear in mind as we continue our discussions.

Those calling for divestment must recognize that reducing returns has significant implications for the institution, which must be balanced against any perceived benefits of divestment. If investment returns declined, where would we reduce expenditures and would those trade-offs be worth it? Those in favor of divestment need to make this case.

Constraining investment options also reduces diversification possibilities, increasing the risk and volatility of our investment portfolio for any given expected return. This further complicates the college’s financial management responsibilities.

Some supporters of divestment argue that the reduction in returns or increase in risk would be small, or even that continued investments in fossil fuel companies will in fact lower returns, in part because of stranded assets (reserves of fossil fuels that will have no value because of the implications of their use for the environment). If this is the case, there is no need to argue for divestment, since rational investment committees and advisors would do this on their own. Of course, identifying “bubbles” in financial markets is easy after the fact,

but more difficult beforehand.

Some people supporting divestment from fossil fuel companies equate their efforts with the divestment movement against apartheid.

Divestment from companies doing business in South Africa, along with economic sanctions from abroad, was designed to put pressure on the South African government to change its policies. These pressures were from citizens and governments of other countries, who objected to the policies of the South African apartheid regime. There is a large literature about the end of apartheid in South Africa and conflicting conclusions about the role played by the divestment movement compared to a variety of other factors. In our democracy, we have direct and effective ways to exert pressure and influence policies within our borders, making the fossil fuel divestment movement fundamentally different from the South Africa divestment movement.

We should be asking, encouraging and supporting our students who have demonstrated passion around this issue to get engaged in the political process–locally, at the state level and nationally–to join those policy makers who support appropriate policies regarding climate change. Despite concerns about current governmental dysfunction, working through the political process is our best hope, and encouraging our students to get involved would have the added benefit of contributing to better public policy and less impracticality in the future.

Following the earlier recommendation to the TIRC, which was rejected, our campus committee on investor responsibility (CIRC) has been examining further whether it would be useful to have a clearer policy relating to divestment, rather than making recommendations and decisions on an ad hoc basis. Some colleges and universities have such policies, which spell out a stringent set of conditions that must be met for divestment to be considered. Some policies call on boards to take into account a range of moral, legal and fiduciary considerations and responsibilities. The issue has received significant renewed attention in the wake of the movement for divestment from fossil fuel companies.

A number of Vassar trustees are among many people who believe that it is inappropriate to divest under any circumstances, and in particular to use endowments for political purposes. They believe institutions have an obligation not to forego investment returns for such purposes, since endowments were given to support the educational mission of the institutions (with added public support in the form of preferential non-profit tax treatment). To then use these resources for purposes other than education, they contend, would violate both donor and public trust and might also violate restrictions imposed by donors.

Still our CIRC is looking into divestment policies at other institutions, such as at Oberlin and Stanford, and is again considering whether to recommend to the Board and its committees some similar policy for Vassar. I hope to receive a report from CIRC sometime this year. Any proposal would then need to be considered again by TIRC, the Board’s investment committee, and ultimately the full Board, which has the final responsibility for decisions about college investments.

If higher education wants to help turn the tide on climate change then it should work to change the incentives that we all face. For example, using polluting fossil fuels should be more expensive than it is, which would reduce all of our consumption and encourage the production of alternative, cleaner energy.

We can get tough on fossil fuels by supporting government policies that encourage us all to move to cleaner sources of energy. And with the upcoming presidential election, we should demand that all the candidates address climate change and we should make it clear that how we vote will depend on their positions.

In the meantime, we can have the most direct impact on climate change by reducing the college’s carbon footprint, and our own, through Vassar’s sustainability efforts. They are in keeping with a new initiative from the Environmental Defense Fund called “Defend Our Future” which encourages all of us–particularly on college campuses–to take concrete actions now on climate change rather than waiting for others to act.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Page 11

Word on the street What’s your favorite word?

“Dependent. because of the way it writes” — Tyler Gilmore ‘19

“Spectacular” — Sammy Augenbraun ‘17

“Vulva” —Mercy O’Malley ‘19

“Fart.”

— Louie Brown ‘19

“Atavistic.”

— Aaron Harvey ‘17

“Ciabatta.” ­­— Chris Allen ‘19

Zander Bashaw, Humor & Satire Editor Sam Pianello, Photo Editor

HUMOR & SATIRE

Page 12

February 18, 2016

Breaking News From the desk of Zander Bashaw, Humor & Satire Editor Zuckerberg admits birthday notifications intended to help users gradually unfriend vague acquaintances Neko Atsume app foreshadows impending cat-astrophe Amanda Su

Catabolic Agent

T

tion. Sadly, Joe DiMeowgio is not the only victim. Guy Furry, Chairman Meow and Billy the Kitten are other members of human society that have fallen into the furry grasp of these cats. Is no one safe?

Astonishingly, neither the dead corpses the cats gift to us nor the fact that these cats are literally wearing the skins of one of our own kind seems to worry us. In fact, these actions seem to have cemented our love for these furry creatures. On seeing the dead carcasses these cats drag into the security of one’s home, we gush and squeal and show our friends, “Look at what Sir Fluffyballs brought home!” We mistake this action for love.

Similarly, when we see cats such as Joe DiMeowgio strutting around our yard, instead of reeling away with disgust and worry, we snap pictures of him and brag to the remaining hu-

Samana Shrestha/The Miscellany News

hey’ve infiltrated our lives, our houses, our minds—and most of us don’t even realize it yet. It has been clear since the unstoppable wave of adorable cat videos infected the Internet that these fluffy masterminds are devious.

They use their furry complexion and their unbearable cuteness to gain the trust of humans, but we must not falter. Yes, these felines are painfully adorable and yes, cat videos have provided me (and many others) with endless hours of entertainment. But we cannot let them win.

Recently, the cats have struck again. In release of the Japanese smartphone app, Neko Atsume, they have invaded the sanctity of our smartphones, and soon, our sanity. Do not be fooled, comrades; this app may seem like an innocent game—another transient gaming craze that will soon fall into the void of oblivion (I’m looking at you, Candy Crush)—but it is far more than that. Neko Atsume is a possible vision of our future. It is the cats’ way of subconsciously subordinating humans to their whims and desires.

In the ideal world of Neko Atsume, we put out offerings and gifts in hopes that our feline “friends” will grace us with their presence. We painstakingly arrange the cat toys in order to entice them to our home. Then, we lie in wait, in anticipation for our favorite cat to return.

In the app, there is also an option to rename the cats. You could assign ridiculous names to cats, like, Sir Fluffyballs or Fuzzkill or Poopaloo.

The cats seem to accept their names, but there is no way to tell what they really think. You could look into those cold empty void of eyes and search for any hint of emotion—even the tiniest smidge of acceptance, but you will find none. Sir Fluffyball and Fuzzkill and Poopaloo will continue to gaze into your soul, their stoic countenance never faltering for a second.

The cats bring gifts to you too, but do not be disillusioned by this false act of generosity. The carcasses of dead meat that the cats drag into your yard are a warning: “This could be you.”

We laugh it off nervously and accept the gifts.

We must not show them our fear. Of course, since Neko Atsume is made to be a kid-friendly game, the corpses have been replaced by “innocent” mementos, such as dead cicada skins.

On one frightening instance, I caught a glimpse of a certain Joe DioMeowgio. I blinked and rubbed my eyes and looked away from the screen before returning back but it was real.

There he was: Joe DioMeowgio. Dear God, I whispered in trepidation, the cats have taken the skin of famous humans in an attempt to win our love. They have integrated themselves seamlessly into our bipedal society. This is just another indicator of their impending domina-

man friends we have left about them.

These warning signs have all been ignored for far too long. The cats have numbed our sense of fear—our natural survival instinct.

Don’t be fooled; this is all intentional. We must not forget that underneath those furry paws are claws.

Not even the ancient powers of Nintendogs, Webkinz and Neopets combined can stop the tour de force of these felines. Neko Atsume is merely a stepping stone to grander schemes.

Cute cat videos ignited an uncontrollable love for these fluffy animals. Neko Atsume has subconsciously introduced the notion of feline domination.

The obvious next step is for them to creep up the household ladders. Eventually (if they do not already) these cats will be the heads of the house. You will feed them tuna, but soon they will demand salmon sashimi imported from the coasts of Japan—and you will give this to them.

After this, they will make their way up the societal totem pole, obtaining office jobs and heading corporations that humans are well qualified for. At this rate, in the next 2024 presidential election we could be casting our votes for the next Purrnie Sanders (“Feel the Puurrrn”).

The future looks bleak. It is a future of subordination and oppression in the hands—I mean, paws—of cats. We will be subdued into submission; forced to continually serve them, feed them and scratch them behind their fluffy ears that adorably twitch every once in awhile. If we continue down this path the destruction of our society is imminent. For now, we mustn’t let the cats sense our fear. We must continue to feed them tuna and rub them and clean out their litter boxes.

It is clear that in times like this, we must stand together, united against this impending catastrophic apocalypse. But before we do, I need to check on Sir Fluffyballs.

Code Red: a behind the scenes look at YouTube’s decision to sell out Steven Park, Youtube commenter Inside the red and white headquarters of the established YouTube Corporation, an emergency board meeting had been called. The men and women in pressed suits sat around the polished white table, chatting about their day while the CEO sat at the front with a grave expression.

“Gentlemen. Ladies. Please settle down. It has come to my attention that, as of late, the number of YouTube users has been plummeting faster than the demand for Apple’s latest phones after they changed the size of its headphone jack,” said the CEO. The board members listened intently as the CEO cleared her throat and continued with a frightfully unnerving calm, “I can assure you that I was very surprised to hear this just after returning from my relaxing three-week vacation in the Cayman Islands. So, I have called everyone to this emergency meeting to ask how and why everything went to hell while I was away?”

“I don’t quite understand what you’re saying, Madame President. We thought everything was going fine, better than fine, better than Vine,” said one of the board members.

“Yeah, I don’t see what the big deal is. Our stock prices have tripled since the last quarter!” said another.

The entire boardroom nodded in approval as members high-fived each other.

The CEO rubbed her temples and let out a frustrated sigh. “Yes, I see the increase in revenue and I agree that’s good to hear. I just want to know why YouTube, the most popular platform for viewing web videos on the Internet, has suddenly lost all of its followers in three weeks!”

“Do you think it’s Pewdiepie? His fanbase has resurged in popularity recently,” the Chief marketing director pointed out.

All the board members all nodded in agreement. The CEO grabbed her office chair and threw it on the table with a crash. Everyone flinched and sank down in their seats until only their eyes were peeking out. The wheels of the office chair wobbled as the CEO started pacing.

“We were set to be the fastest growing company on the Interwebs! 1.6 billion people visit our website daily to watch stupid videos for hours at a time and now everyone on the Internet apparently hates us. Does no one know?” demanded the CEO. “We can’t understand it either. We thought our target audience would love YouTube Redder,” admitted a clean-shaven man smoking a rolled-up thousand dollar bill. He was the finance director of the company. He inhaled the fumes in a sophisticated manner but ended up swallowing a bunch of cash ash and succumbed to a coughing fit. The CEO stopped pacing.

“YouTube Redder?” she asked. “What the hell is YouTube Redder?”

The finance director tried to regain his composure as he got up and took another whiff at his crumpled pipe. “Simply put, it’s like a better version of YouTube Red. Viewers can pay to never see an ad again and have access to even more exclusive shows. Hence the name, Redder, like ‘more Red.’” The CEO gave him a puzzled look, “Oh, so it’s basically Netflix or maybe Spotify with a different color scheme. It has a stupid name but I can

deal with that. But then how come we’re losing to Bing in popularity?”

“Well, those common folk weren’t signing up for YouTube Redder. They didn’t see the point of paying more for a carbon copy of YouTube Red, so we had to take some drastic measures,” said the finance director while nonchalantly taking a sip from his cup of coffee.

“What measures?” asked the CEO as she gave a piercing, icy glare. The finance director suddenly lost all his bravado and trembled in his fancy black Salvatore Ferragamo loafers. He muttered something the CEO couldn’t hear. She then promptly slammed her fist on the table, leaving a large jagged crack.

“I didn’t hear that. Mind if you speak a little louder?” asked the CEO with a deadly smile.

“We blocked all non-subscribers from accessing any of the videos unless they paid us and threatened to ban channels if they didn’t obey our commands. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry–” With that same pleasant smile, the CEO picked up the cup of coffee and tipped it over finance director’s receding hairline. He sputtered and fell off his chair. The boardroom let out an audible gasp as several took out their phones to film the twitching finance director to post on YouTube later. The CEO looked up at the boardroom with disgust.

“So this is what you all have been doing while I was gone. If no one fills me in on exactly everything you did right now, trust me, coffee stains will be the least of your problems,” she said.

“But Madame President! Everything we did

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

was for the good of our financial holdings! We had executives from Hollywood pay us $3.9 billion to remove videos that depicted copyrighted footage. Most of those videos followed the Fair Use copyright disclaimer, but still, that’s $3.9 billion!” exclaimed the Chief legal officer.

“Also, I would like to add that we personally adopted Honda and Geico as paid sponsors.

We thought putting their ads in YouTube Red would give people more incentives to sign up for YouTube Redder,” pointed out the Chief communications officer with a naive smile.

Both the chief legal officer and the chief communications officer were hit with swivel chairs.

The CEO stood up with a sigh. In times like these, she wished she had never even mentioned YouTube to her supervisors in Google all those years ago. “Well it seems I’ve hired a bunch of idiots. I shouldn’t be surprised, seeing how the foundation of our company is website where people make a living off of making stupid faces in front of a camera.”

She paced around the room thoughtfully now that her anger had subsided. It was still her job to make sure this ship didn’t crash and sink, “Thankfully for you all, we can still patch everything up and regain our viewers. Johnson, arrange an apology video to the YouTube community. Michelle, get the Fine Brothers on the phone. They should know firsthand what to do with public backlash after selling out. Remember everyone: people always need us. Besides, the average American’s attention span is ten seconds. By next week, everyone will have forgotten everything and will come crawling back.”

HUMOR & SATIRE

February 18, 2016

Page 13

Retreat worker embraces inner cephalopod Pregnancy a symptom of R common cold Chris Allen

Squidward Manning

etreat, verb – (of an army) to withdraw from enemy forces as a result of their superior power or after defeat. Sometimes, my workstudy duty at The Retreat’s grill window makes me want to do just that. Though my shifts are only two hours long, some nights feel like a fastpaced endurance test of making enough French fries to feed a small country and yelling out order numbers like a desperate, sleep-deprived bingo caller. Some nights feel like a grueling campaign of trench warfare as I engage wave after wave of customers. While it’s certainly not rocket science, it’s also no easy task. It’s neither of those things.

Why would rockets or parks have anything to do with it? The point is, it ain’t easy bein’ greasy.

Working at The Retreat has quite a few upsides. The managers and kitchen staff are almost too nice, so please don’t turn into one of those “can I speak to your manager?” people if they forget your honey mustard. Another great aspect is the $$$ factor. Getting occasional payment while in college, the (hopefully) greatest financial burden of my lifetime, is kind of like hoping to win tug of war with an unhappy gorilla. It’s almost completely futile, but it is nice to get some drops of grease in the bucket, however many Olympic swimming pool’s worth that bucket is. There are also employee benefits. For each shift, I get a free meal and cookie, which I add to the stockpile I have gathered in preparation for Nildapocalypse.

The job can be easy and even, dare I say, fun?

But as the weeks go by, and the sweet potato fries fry, I am beginning to notice the symptoms of a psychological effect called “Squidwardification.”

For those of you who don’t know, Squidward Tentacles is Spongebob’s irritable neighbor and coworker in the award-winning, dramatic televi-

“Come see The Donner Party Kidz!”

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38 To screw up, as when the 16−Across tried to find Hastings Cutoff 39 Land whale 40 Black gold 41 Spider−Man’s secretions 43 Like many an old New England academic building

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sion series “Spongebob Squarepants.” I am in the same line of work as this misanthropic cephalopod. I take an order of fried food as I scribble it down on a piece of paper, and then I yell the order to those in charge of the grill. The only thing that sets me as an employee apart from Squidward is my unfortunate obligation to wear pants.

When I started at The Retreat at the beginning of the fall semester, I had a Spongebobian work ethic. I was a goofy little rectangular prism of joy, ready to serve every customer with great enthusiasm. I kid you not, I would actively study the menu to avoid messing up orders.

Now, however, I am beginning to identify more and more with Spongebob’s tentacle-clad friend.

My demeanor is more outwardly grumpy. I’ve thought about taking up the clarinet. During today’s shift, I looked down at my turquoise gloves and I could’ve sworn I saw suction cups. It’s just a matter of time before the physical effects of Squidwardification begin. Extra legs will form, my nose will increase in size as well as droopiness and my forehead will elongate upward.

However, this brow inflammation is not to be confused with the disease that affects even some of the greatest NFL quarterbacks: Peytonitis.

While we’re on the subject of Mr. Manning, I must say he would feel quite at home here at The Retreat, though it’s not Papa John’s. I bark cryptic commands (“BREAKFAST CLASSIC!” is my “OHAMA!”) to a team that does most of the hard work while I just stand there. Yet in the end, as indicated by the existence of this article, I’m the one who receives the most press coverage and attention, just like Peyton.

In my experience, there are two types of Retreat orderers. The first is the Simple Sally. This customer walks right up to the window and recites their order like a well-prepared speech.

Sometimes, a grill worker will even recognize them and say “Do you want the usual?” The second type of orderer is the Undecided Ursula.

They hesitantly waddle to the window and, as indicated by their title, take some time to reflect on what they want to order. I don’t mind this indecision at all. In fact, sometimes it’s a nice relief which slows the pace of the dinner rush. Whenever I have to break the news that The Retreat is lacking a certain ingredient or type of bun, which is quite often, a Simple Sally can transform into an Undecided Ursula in the blink of an eye.

Sometimes, during periods of downtime at the grill window, I like to think of slogans for The Retreat: “Like a good neighbor, The Retreat is available after 8PM!” or “There are some things dining bucks can’t buy. For everything else, there’s The Retreat.” They can’t all be great. But someday, if I play my VCards right and work my way up the corporate ladder, I could work wonders for The Retreat’s marketing department. Does The Retreat have a marketing department? They should.

My job is kind of like donating blood. It takes a little bit out of me, but in the end it’s all worth it because they give me a cookie! Sure, I don’t get to do homework during shifts like the Fitness Center monitors who take the term “work study” quite literally. Sure, there are activities that are more fun than buttering toast and asking customers to repeat that sauce they just said. But what is life without a little bit of grease on it?

The greasiest jobs can offer truly unique opportunities. One time, I was presented with a unique scenario when a customer did not return to get their food. I took the liberty of calling out their order number quite a few times, because under what other circumstances–with which other work-study job–would it ever be appropriate to yell 69 in a crowded place?

Anika Lanser Not Pregnant

I

t’s that time of year again: I spend the winter preparing for, recovering from or having a cold. Naturally, even when I only feel the slightest bit I always go to Baldwin.

The other day I awoke with a stuffy nose and a sore throat. Concerned I might have strep because a few of my friends currently have it, I figured I should go to Baldwin just to make sure. Upon arrival, I waited for approximately one hour to be seen by a health professional of some sort. (Are they doctors? Nurses? Does anybody actually know the job title of the people that work at Baldwin?)

These people proceeded to swab my cheek, miss my vein with a needle and ask if I was pregnant.

Twice. This might seem excessive, but Baldwin is simply being thorough, and for good reason.

They concluded that I am, thankfully, strep free.

After the blood test, they finally believed that I’m also fetus free, even though I had already reassured them 20 times and am currently on my period.

Thankfully, the nurse/doctor/person only diagnosed me with the Bubonic plague and sent me home to wait to die. Had I not gone to Baldwin, I would probably have never known that I only have three weeks to live! Now I have time to skip class, say goodbye to my friends and family and tell all the people that I hate that I hate them without worrying about any repercussions. Thank God, ‘cause I also didn’t do any of my readings for this week.

The Miscellany Crossword

by Alycia Beattie, York Chen, and Collin Knopp-Schwyn Email coknoppschwyn@vassar.edu to contribute!

44 First organic compound to be synthesized 45 Boatman’s wood 47 Unit of corn 48 Taze 49 Why one might resort to 61−Across 52 Bruce or Christopher 54 What a pod does to a pea 56 Granny 57 MD−haver 60 Hubbub 61 10−Down of the 16−Across 64 Round of workouts (we think?)

65 Sycophantic Heep of “David Copperfield” 66 You bow it between your legs 67 Attempt 68 Annual sporting award with an athlete of the year division 69 Raptor’s fingernail

30 Essay 33 The golden ratio 34 Grassy turf 36 French word meaning place 37 French word meaning impetus or urge 42 Icelandic epic 44 Utilize 46 What 16−Across probably wished happened earlier 49 The ol’ ticker 50 Below

DOWN

1 Chances 2 Onstage telephone, for one 3 Hawk that soars 4 Charged molecule 5 Turf−grabber 6 “___ carte” (2 words) 7 Long−distance Arctic migrant 8 Double quartet, maybe 9 Hitchcock thriller 10 Act of desperation, like 61−Across (2 words) 11 Perihelion or aphelion 12 Say ’Sup!’ 14 Mimic, like a certain primate 17 What pumpernickel is made of 22 Aussie’s neighbor, maybe 23 “...lemme get back to you” 25 Begin again 26 How you feel when you don’t skip leg day 27 Replica (2 words) 28 48 of the 87 members of 16−Across, after the winter of 1847 29 Reddish−brown photo filter

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

51 Raises, as in children 52 Four hour afternoon block, maybe 53 Perform 55 Cut with scissors 56 Bethesda research facility 57 Pickle companion 58 City home to Edvard Munch’s grave 59 “Gimme a fuckin break” 62 20−Across’s opposite 63 “the lowing herd winds slowly o’er the ___” (Thomas Gray)

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February 18, 2016

LiNK concert to raise funds, awareness on campus Patrick Tanella Reporter

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out saying that there is no free media inside the country.” LiNK’s other goal is to educate more people at Vassar about their cause. Kim commented, “Most Vassar students are heavily into social justice, but many are not informed enough or even know about this cause to get involved. LiNK hopes by having this benefit concert, we can get people to come and hear great music while also getting information about this important cause. We are trying to spread the awareness around, which will result in more members and a greater capacity for more funding.” LiNK’s headquarters shares the goal of education. They have produced several award-winning documentaries on North Korean human rights abuses and helps fund research on the country.

It’s hard to get an accurate glimpse into daily

courtesy of LiNK via Facebook

n emoji is worth a thousand words. Well, some are. Recently released Kimjunjis– Kim Jung-un inspired emojis do little to speak for the millions under oppresive North Korean rule. Luckily, Vassar students have the opportunity to look beyond their iPhones for information on the subject.

Under the reign of Kim Jong-un, nearly 24 million North Koreans are subjected to harsh dictatorial rule. Americans are often made aware of the havoc North Korea wreaks in global politics but they seldom hear about toll the regime takes on individual lives. Especially on a campus as outspoken as Vassar, it’s hard to imagine life with so few freedoms.

LiNK, or Liberty in North Korea, seeks to liberate North Korean refugees by raising funds and public awareness. On Friday Feb. 19 at 6 p.m., LiNK will be holding its annual benefit concert and service auction to spread awareness about the plight of North Korean refugees and ask for donations from the audience. All proceeds are allocated towards the refugees and the event will take place on the second floor of the Students’ Building.

Esther Kim ’19 has organized the event.

While Kim is only a freshman, the executive board of LiNK is utilizing a new technique by having members of the general body take control of several events that they are holding. Kim was eager to take on more responsibility within the club. She said, “After being a member of LiNK for the fall semester, I hoped to direct and contribute to it more than just someone listening in a general meeting.” The executive board includes president Ellis Kim ’16, vice president Kevin Lee ’17 and secretary Kelly Yu ’17.

LiNK is a national organization that utilizes chapters on college campuses to fundraise. As of July 2015, there are 347 chapters that have raised a total of $396,045. This money goes directly towards efforts to resettle refugees.

LiNK has rescued over 400 refugees to date.

The organization utilizes a “Modern Underground Railroad” to shuttle refugees to China and then South Asia. From there, LiNK helps them secure refugee status in South Korea, or occasionally the United States. Each rescue and resettlement costs approximately $3,000.

According to Vice President of LiNK headquarters Justin Wheeler, most relocated refugees have little knowledge of the outside world when they are first rescued. The situation is so extreme that most refugees require an intensive orientation process to acclimate to life outside of North Korean. Wheeler explained to Forbes, “In general, most North Koreans learn about the Internet for the first time when either they cross into China or when they go through our orientation process immediately following the rescue mission...It goes with-

LiNK is introducing an auction to their concert for the first time. They hope to raise funds for North Korean refugees and increase awareness of the realities of daily life under a harsh regime.

North Korean life but LiNK’s website describes this dire situation well: “The people of North Korea are denied even the most basic rights of free speech, free movement, and information freedom, because the ruling elite prioritizes regime survival over all else. They use a brutally repressive system of political control to ensure their domination over society, employing extreme measures including collective punishment, public executions, and political prison camps.” All of this horror yet it does not garner the television play or student dialogue like other world issues. Enter LiNK, who hopes to educate the campus through a series of relatable events.

The concert involves numerous performances by Vassar students LiNK hopes people will be eager to see. This includes a mix of musicians, singers and comedians, such as Calvin Lamothe ’17, Cheikh Athj ’16, Committed performing an improv sketch, and Measure4Measure. This year will also have the addition of a silent auction, which president Ellis Kim believes will be an intrinsic aspect of raising money. She said, “I’ve been helping with this event since I was a freshman, and now as the president of LiNK, I am excited to see if we can make the concert even more successful with the silent auction.” Ellis Kim has a lot of hope for the concert. She explained, “We are hoping this will attract a lot of students, and then have an intermission and play a video to inform people about the club and the issues it is trying to solve. Come for the music, stay for the message!”

The auction will offer services from LiNK members, such as rides to the train station, a photoshoot and late night food deliveries.

Over 400 refugees are safe thanks to the actions of LiNK, and through more fundraisers and greater involvement of the Vassar community, LiNK hopes to continue to raise that number. If you hope to get more involved or just want to check out the concert, head to the Students’ Building on Feb. 19 at 6 p.m.

Cannibalistic show satirizes history, children’s shows Matt Stein Reporter

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Sam Pianello/The Miscellany News

annibalism is one of those things that society tends to look down on. Considered one of the larger taboos, the consumption of another human being in reality is no laughing matter. However, “The Donner Party Kidz!” is not reality. While the show is based on an actual historical situation, the real Donner Clan did not have a talking horse nor did they sing along to children’s tunes. It’s within this absurdity that such a gruesome topic can become funny.

Produced by the Future Waitstaff of America (FWA), Vassar’s musical theatre student group, and No Offense, one of Vassar’s sketch comedy groups, “The Donner Party Kidz!” will be going up in the Susan Stein Shiva Theater Thursday, Feb. 18 and 19 at 9 p.m. and Saturday Feb. 20 at 6 and 8 p.m. The show is an original musical comedy by Collin Knopp-Schwyn ’16, who is also directing the production. An inaccurate retelling of the Donner Clan’s trek westward, this show presents itself in the form of a children’s show, with songs put to familiar kids music like “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” and “My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean.”

Knopp-Schwyn originally wrote this musical five years ago along with several other play scripts that dealt with bizarre historical events.

The basis of the show drew directly from “Barney & Friends” and other 1990s children’s shows.

Juxtaposing the cheerful optimism of those shows with the grim Donner Party venture, the show is a parody of both simultaneously.

Since writing it a couple years ago, KnoppSchwyn has made a few changes to his musical, He [Full Disclosure: Knopp-Schwyn is a crossword editor for the Miscellany News] explained, “‘The Donner Party Kidz!’ was first produced at the 2012 Minnesota Fringe Festival so this is actually the show’s second presentation. I’ve done some significant edits since then (including writing a new song) but the fascinating part of the process has been seeing a measure of personal growth as a theatermaker since the show’s first production and today. I have seven monumentally talented actor-singer-comedians and three amazing musicians as well as a full pro-

duction team surrounding me on this project which is so much more than I had the last time we played this show.”

The Donner Party, in which this show lays its origins, was a group of American pioneers in the 1840s who made the trek to California by wagon. Through some very misguided planning and unfortunate weather, the clan ended up getting stranded in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. One thing led to another, and eventually some of the members relied on cannibalism to survive. By the time they made it to California, a little more than half of the group survived, the rest dead from malnourishment, the cold and their companions’ desperate hunger. Despite the thousands of other clans that travelled to California, the Donners’ horribly unique story has earned them a degree of noteriety in the national imagination.

Because this is a special event, the rehearsal time has been far more truncated than the average production. One of the Donner kids, Patrick Dunning ’16, who plays Lyall Larson, clarified what the rehearsal process has been like: “Rehearsals have been going in a pretty standard way, given how much time the process has been on the whole. We had an initial reading of it once it was cast at the very end of last semester, but since coming back it’s been about two weeks of rehearsing about 4 or 5 times per week, and this week we begin tech in the Shiva. What’s been cool is that we’ve had at least one of our three awesome musicians with us at just about every rehearsal.”

While there is a solid historical basis for this show, it should not be considered biographical.

None of the characters were actually part of the Donner Party. All of the characters are children too, which didn’t entirely make up the historical group. But, existing in the world of comedy, these and other discrepancies aren’t too important. The way this show is designed allows for anyone to enjoy it, regardless of how familiar they are with the historical facts.

One of the components that draws greatly from the reality in this show is a talking horse named Buckwheat played by Sarah Zimmerman ’16. She described the experience of taking on

The Donner Party Kidz takes a satirical look at history and reinterprets children’s shows. The show is produced by the Future Waitstaff of America and includes characters like a talking horse. such a bizarre role and being in such a unique production. “Playing a talking horse is definitely one of the kookier roles I’ve had the privilege of playing,” Zimmerman said. “I get to wear a horse head, so that’s a plus. Collin is a great director because he’s open to suggestions from the actors and allows us to make a lot of choices on our own. He’s brought a lot of the democratic style of No Offense rehearsals into this show, and I think that’s served us well because of our talented cast.”

The mixed cast includes both actors who don’t have much sketch comedy and comedians who have never done student theatre. Falling into the former category, Dunning stated, “Speaking from the perspective of an actor working on it from the inside, it often times feels like the moment-to-moment silliness of the characters and their relationships with each other, rather than any cutting-edge historical message or criticism, are what really drive this show and make it a

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

blast to be a part of, and hopefully a blast to see.”

The show features collaboration between theatre and comedy groups that for the most part has been unprecedented. While there are members of No Offense in the show, there are others who do not come from the comedy groups either. “The Donner Party Kidz!,” which is like an hour-long musical sketch, gives an opportunity for both sides of this coin to experience a new adventure in the world of theatre and comedy making.

Discussing what he believes audiences can enjoy about this show, Knopp-Schwyn remarked, “I want this show to be blatantly silly and fun and sing-alongable. A lot of theater here attempts to tackle things. This show does not.

It is a goofy and inaccurate retelling of a piece of dark American lore; it has kids singing about manifest destiny and falling in love and also there’s a singing horse. That’s how I hope audiences see the show.”

February 18, 2016

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Cyborgism, relationship with tech under microscope Elena Schultz

Guest Reporter

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courtesy of Vassar College

yborgs are coming to Vassar—but they look more human than one might suspect.

Technology theorist, author and public speaker Michael Chorost will be opening for “Sonic Cyborgs,” a free, public series of lectures exploring often taboo or unmentioned topics like cyborgism, transhumanism and technology. His lecture, entitled “What It’s Like to Go Deaf and Get Your Hearing Back with an Implanted Computer (And What That Means for Theory)” will be held on Wednesday, Feb. 24, at 5:30 p.m. in Taylor Hall, room 203.

After losing all hearing in 2001, Chorost received a cochlear implant and now speaks as a leading authority on neural prosthetics. He studied computer programming, Renaissance literature and cultural theory at Brown University for his PhD, and is an advocate for the blurring of lines between disciplines. On his website, he says, “[Both the sciences and arts are] profoundly creative human endeavors.”

His memoir, “Rebuilt: How Becoming Part Computer Made Me More Human,” was written as a response to his profound relationship with deafness and sound, and was deemed the first of its kind by the L.A. Times.

Chorost’s second book, “World Wide Mind,” draws from his experience of being physically integrated with implanted computers in order to extrapolate what being a cyborg might mean in the future–rather than becoming unfeeling robots, he suggests that technology be used to let us reconnect with emotion, touch and what it means to be human. According to his website, “Humanity can incorporate the computer into its collective soul in a way that enhances communities and creative work instead of diminishing them.”

Chorost’s writing addresses exactly what the “Sonic Cyborgs” series seeks to understand.

Chorost poses the question, “When the senses become programmable, can we trust what they tell us about the world? Will cochlear implants

destroy the signing deaf community? And above all, are cyborgs still human?”

The proposal for the “Sonic Cyborgs” lecture series was born out of conversation between Professor of Music Justin Patch and Professor of Physics and Astronomy, and Science, Technology and Society Jose Perillan. According to Perillan, “Justin and I both love science fiction and had talked about science fiction in the past, and I think that’s probably where these conversations started.”

It seems natural, then, that Chorost will be the first lecture in a series about relatable, real-life science fiction. Perillan explains, “The human experience is so wide and varied that everybody has a different approach as to how they are in their own skin and how they are in their own body and how they interact with the world, and so [Michael Chorost] draws comparisons and contrasts between his own process and how he goes on rebuilding and pushing through some of the early, really difficult stages of relearning how to hear and re-engaging with the hearing world.”

Additional events in the series include a lecture from Professor of Science and Technology Studies and Professor of Sociology at Cornell University Trevor Pinch as well as a conversation between Chorost and Pinch on Thursday, Feb. 25, at 7 p.m. in Taylor Hall, room 102. According to his website, Pinch’s research focuses on the sociology of technology and its relationship to and role in human interaction. He just finished editing a book on hearing and hosts a weekly radio show.

A second set of “Sonic Cyborgs” lectures will continue during April 11 to April 15 with a talk from the first legally-recognized cyborg, Neil Harbisson, who can hear colors through a skull-based antenna as a way to combat lifelong achromatopsia, or complete color blindness. In a short film, “The Man Who Hears Color,” Harbisson is quoted as saying, “I don’t feel that I’m using technology, I don’t feel like I’m wearing technology...I feel like I am technology.”

Michael Chorost is one of many speakers set to deliver lectures on technology and its relationship with humans. The “Sonic Cyborg” lecture series will shed light on cyborgism and transhumanism.

Musician Marco Donnarumma, interested in the fusion of science and technology with performance art, will also be speaking.

According to Donnarumma’s website, “[His work relies] on the material force of sound to produce intensely intimate encounters of bodies and machines, and vivid sensory and physical experiences...His creative process is a continuous feedback between artistic intuition, scientific experiments and development of custom technologies.”

Learning from cyborgs has the potential to transform an individual’s relationship with technology. Patch mentions that his exposure to Chorost completely flipped his line of thinking. “The ways in which you thought sound was a fundamental thing is shown not to be true,” he said. It is this truth, then, that Sonic Cyborgs

aims to seek out—in a world of cyborgism, what exactly does it mean to be human? And how exactly will the notion of humanity change as technology changes with us?

“Sonic Cyborgs” and Chorost’s lecture are made possible by Creative Arts Across Disciplines, an initiative funded by the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation. Aiming to facilitate greater integration of the creative arts across campus, CAAD centers each academic year’s programming around a sense-based theme, this year’s being “Sound and Silence.”

According to Interdisciplinary Arts Coordinator Tom Pacio, “CAAD will be at All College Days on the 24th and we hope students, faculty, administrators, and staff stop by the table to learn about the initiative and everything we are doing.”

PBS documentary explores Hudson River School art Connor McIlwain Arts Editor

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hile today’s Vassar students might not muse over Poughkeepsie’s beauty too often, the story was quite different a few hundred years ago. The natural beauty of the Hudson River Valley was celebrated and explored by artists in the Hudson River School. And these works have always been welcomed on campus– when the Loeb opened, they composed the museum’s largest collection.

A new PBS documentary, “The Hudson River School: Artistic Pioneers,” looks deeply into America’s first school of landscape painting.

Vin Tabone was the impetus for the project.

He explained, “I grew up along the banks of the Hudson River in Stony Point, N.Y. for 22 years and literally walked the shoreline as a kid in absolute wonder. I was always attracted to the streams and picturesque mountains near the Bear Mountain/ West Point area of the river.”

Tabone continued to experience the Hudson Valley well into adulthood. “As I grew up those were my high school haunts and I spent a lot of time there hiking and exploring. As an adult I would frequent the Cold Spring and Garrison area also (still do) and would venture as far north as The Catskills, Albany and Hudson, N.Y. where I would visit my uncle for some 40 years.”

These experiences set the foundation for a curiosity with the Hudson River School. Tabone continued, “As I became exposed to the Hudson River School paintings I recognized a lot of the locations in the paintings as those that I had been visiting in the valley my whole life...

That inspired me to seek out more knowledge about the artists and the story of their ‘school.’”

This exploration led him to create the 74-minute documentary. “I wore many hats for this project,” he explained. “I was the creator, writer, producer and director of the film.” With

courtesy of Vincent Tabone

A new PBS documentary explores the history and art of the Hudson River School. It complements the Loeb’s newest exhibition, “American Stories” and lends a new perspective to the Hudson Valley.

the help of a videographer, Tabone traveled the region interviewing the estates of famous painters, gathering as much information as possible.

Tabone left a career at Sony Music before undertaking the project. He explained, “After Sony, I felt it was time for a comprehensive visual documentation about the Hudson River School, and I plan on this being a five-part series.”

The documentary comes at the right time on campus. The “American Stories” exhibit debuted in the Loeb on Jan. 29 and features many works from the Hudson River School that had been in storage for years. The Anne Hendricks Bass Director of the Loeb James Mundy ’74 explained, “In this case [the premise] was to bring out on view some of our American Collection that has rarely been seen.”

The relevance to the Vassar campus wasn’t lost on Mundy. “I was able to track down an early photograph of the Raymond Avenue trolley by being in touch with the Trolley Museum up in Kingston, for example,” he said.

Tabone recognized the significance as well.

He explained, “The history and the aesthetic from the region is reflected in the artwork of the Hudson River School, and it tells so many stories about the great changes that occurred in our country in 19th Century America.”

He continued, “Maybe most importantly their artistic message called for the conservation and preservation of the land that they loved and inspired them–so much so they felt the untouched, wild wilderness was a direct manifestation of the Divine. The information and visual illustration gives the viewer a sense of understanding of what came before them and how the country and the landscape evolved into what it is today.”

These works are so rich, even art historians continue to uncover new aspects of them.

According to Mundy, “By looking at the works carefully, new things occasionally surface as well. For example I never noticed the tiny signature and date on the Milton Bellin Self-Portrait contained almost microscopically on the tab of his jacket zipper.”

Mundy curated American Stories with his-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

tory in mind. He explained, “I tried to choose works that demonstrated historically what is “American” about the art produced in this country between 1800 and 1950 when such definitions were to some extent clearer than they are today. And, I think, at a time when people thought more about such things.”

For Loeb Docent Josh Schwartz ’18, learning about these kinds of pieces before seeing them in person can be beneficial. He explained, “I think it depends on the type of art; a Rothko, for example, is intended to be experienced emotionally, so thinking about the background or history of the painting hinders that experience.

Hudson River School paintings are beautiful, but historical context increases the viewer’s understanding of the weight of the work.”

He continued, “The American Stories exhibit is curated to be explicitly historical, and to typify the differences between American and European art. Historical context is not only helpful in understanding the exhibit, but necessary to navigate the intellectual space of those galleries.”

According to Mundy, background is important but seeing a piece of art in person is an experience that can’t be replicated elsewhere.

He wrote, “To learn in a museum brings you together with the ‘aura’ of the physical object.

It also takes greater advantage of your binocular vision to express more clearly the impact of, let’s say, a painted surface that has a topography, that reflects light and creates color in a more complex fashion. Its an important complement to what we learn in the classroom and experience in other media.”

For Tabone, his documentary is one piece of the puzzle. He hopes it facilitates a larger experience with art. “There’s no substitute to seeing a work of art in person...To be inches away from something so personal and meaningful to an artist, and historical, still fills me with awe when I go to a museum. I believe a documentary like ‘The Hudson River School: Artistic Pioneers’ will absolutely inspire people to go see the artwork in person, and also visit the region where the inspiration and history actually took place.”

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Game developer to visit VC

New Moore documentary, same tropes Jillian Elkin

Guest Columnist

Where to Invade Next Michael Moore IMG Films

NSO continued from page 1

vendors.”

As occupied as he is, Maben maintains enthusiasm for the special guests No Such Convention will have. He remarked, “When it comes to guests I am most excited about Ken Levine, whose work I really love, and the horror Host Mr. Lobo, who will be presenting on the Poughkeepsie native and noted schlock film maker Ed Wood.”

One notable guest to this year’s festivities is Ken Levine, a prolific game developer as well as a Vassar alum himself. As the student responsible for bringing Levine to the convention, Josh Sherman ’16 was quick to speak the praises of this successful alum. Sherman wrote, “Levine’s visit was made possible with the support from NSO, Chronicle, Misc, CMPU, and MEDS...It’s a chance to hear an awesome Vassar alum talk about his journey to becoming a game developer and really talk about what it’s like to be a storyteller for millions of video game players.”

Maben expressed his anticipation for Levine as well. Reflecting on Levine’s stature as a video game developer, he wrote, “I’m excited for Ken Levine. It took a lot of effort to get him here and I really want to hear his insights. Joshua Sherman ... will be interviewing him.”

Levine is most famous for conceptualizing the “Bioshock” franchise. “Bioshock” is a first-person shooter game that incorporates survival skills within fictitious dystopian landscapes. The protagonist, Jack, crashes his plane into the ocean and discovers a bizarre underwater society engineered by a wealthy business magnate. Trapped, Jack must fight his way out of this strange world.

The highly integrative style of the game encompasses role playing and strategic elements while exploring human and moral truths. The “Bioshock” franchise consists of three games and has been described as one of the best video games ever made by media outlets like BAFTA. Character development is crucial to Levine’s strategy when designing any game. In an interview with Game Informer, he explained, “The whole system that I came up with and that we’re developing is based upon the fact that to make an interesting character, you have to have a character who has a bunch of passions, wants, and needs.”

Levine joins other special guests including comedian Uncle Yo, horror host and actor Mr. Lobo, author Erica Kudisch, author and teacher Thomm Quackenbush, artist and animator Adam Tilford and artist and author Peter Tarkulich.

Notable activities include a cosplay contest, which will take place on Saturday, Feb. 20, and video game tournaments. The programming of the event is, in every sense of the word, eventful, to say the least.

No Such Convention begins on Friday, Feb. 19 from 5 p.m. to 11 p.m. The Convention continues on Saturday, Feb. 20 from 10 a.m. to 11 p.m.. The Convention ends on Sunday, Feb. 21 at 5 p.m.

Pre-registration for tickets is $12; tickets can be purchased through eventbrite.com.

A prospective NSC attendee, Jonathan Chung ’18 offered fresh perspective into the social and cultural inclusivity of No Such Con. Chung considered the racial implications of an event that largely celebrates popular Asian culture while serving mostly white attendees. He wrote, “I think that No Such Con is an interesting form of alternative programming that goes on on campus. It’s nice to see an aspect of Asian pop culture on campus and have it open to the general public and community. I’m wary that most of the people who attend are white, but most of the vendors are Asian, and it’s nice to see our campus being less exclusive to the general Hudson Valley for a weekend.”

Maben hopes for a scintillating and energetic ambiance for prospective NSC attendees. He also wants to kindle new interests in previously uninvolved students on campus. He wrote, “My favorite part of the convention is always seeing people coming there and having a good time...

My hope for the convention is always the same, that people will have a good time and come away having learned something they didn’t already know or find a new passion.”

February 18, 2016

M

ichael Moore’s documentary style can feel off-putting. The documentarian makes himself a central, bold character in his films. Throughout, he flashes his humor and political biases. At times, this tones down or distracts from the seriousness of the subject matter. Moore’s latest piece “Where to Invade Next” also distances itself from typical documentary fare because of its ambition in covering a vast array of social and political issues across the globe. The range of issues is diverse but Moore tries to connect them back to flaws in the American system. In this sense, it is similar to many of his past documentaries– especially “Sicko,” which captured healthcare in many other countries through an American lens.

“Where to Invade Next,” in theaters now, explores America’s social, economic and political structures through Moore’s travels to countries with progressive social welfare programs and greater gender equality on a professional scale.

In Finland, Moore encounters the education system, which promotes free time for students over copious amounts of homework. In France, the film flaunts healthy, high quality public school lunches that teach kids about eating a balanced, mannerly meal. “Where to Invade Next” mixes interviews with graphs to convey its messages.

The film poignantly touches on the America’s flaws, whilst it expresses hope for the future.

Despite Moore’s cynical disposition, the movie is wonderfully optimistic.

Though only about two hours, the movie feels long. This is largely because the film could be a TV show. Maybe it would be better as a TV

show. Each country and the one or two issues presented can stand alone in one piece. The transitions from country to country work well, but could still easily be broken apart. Specific topics are vaguely clustered together under larger umbrella topics of education, worker’s rights and feminism. But, even then, the film strays from maintaining a concrete structure. Thus, there’s barely a climax. The high point of the film depends on the viewer’s individual idea of the most pressing, compelling issue. Therefore, the tension of the film neither increases nor depreciates based on content. The tone falters when the viewer gets restless from the repetitive pacing.

The style may get repetitive, but the film’s issues manage to never repeat themselves. Every country’s arguments deserve to be have a spotlight on them. So, one can understand why the filmmakers would struggle to edit the film down.

The documentary blatantly advocates for women in politics. Feminist focuses on women’s health care and female leadership are treated with such care that they seem to be a political endorsement during this election year. Moore’s timing with the film is perfect given the landscape of the current election. Some of the movie’s best moments come from an interview subject speaking directly to the camera, with Moore off to the side. One such moment comes as a Finnish female bank executive lays out the necessity for at least three women for representation. One woman is a token and two are a minority. The film interviews three women together to explain why women make great financial leaders. In this scene, “Where to Invade Next” meets the minimum requirements as far as providing evidence goes. It continues with this theme throughout.

“Where to Invade Next” is full of holes as Moore presents his heavily-biased opinions and the facts that corroborate them. Like many Moore films, there is a strong tendency towards liberalism. Though most of the programs depicted are funded by taxpayer money, the documentary takes only a few minutes to explain how this works and why it’s worth it. For this reason,

the film narrows its audience. It doesn’t even attempt to convince its viewers to agree with its proposals. Due to the lack of showing both sides of the arguments and Moore’s gruff, headstrong (at worst superior) character, the film primarily targets a liberal, younger demographic that would already agree with most of the film’s messages.

Most of the featured countries are in Europe.

This allows Moore to more easily make his arguments, but it also detracts from his overall message that “the rest of the world is ahead of America.” Women are political leaders in countries across the globe, but Moore honed in on Finland and interviewed a group of white women. The problem with the breadth-over-depth approach that Moore takes reveals itself in the information that the movie largely ignores. “Where to Invade Next” seemingly assumes prototypes of women, middle class and people of color. It ignores how conditions change when identities overlap.

With that said, the film approaches America’s hot topics like racism, classism and sexism in a light, enjoyable way. This may sound tasteless, but the movie demonstrates the balancing act between a positive tone and justice to the issues with grace. The film wisely acknowledges that all of the issues it depicts (public schools, prison systems, adjudication of white collar crimes, etc.) take root in systems of oppression. The film also points out America’s hesitancy to admit its faults.

Not to worry, Moore fans the ego of American pride to finish off the film. Moore argues that he criticizes the country out of love. This makes for a somewhat cheesy ending that would play better to cap off a TV series than a movie. The ending is quiet and forgettable. But, like the rest of the film’s structure, it performs its function. This international portrait of a socialist utopia offers entertainment and revelations. The documentary suffers for its ambition. What the movie does uncover, however, is thought-provoking. Snarky, smart 21st century socialist propaganda: this film is candy for millennials.

Deadpool delivers without lasting punch Jimmy Christon Columnist

Deadpool Tim Miller 20th Century Fox

I

n this day and age, seeing an R-rated comic book movie is a rarity. Most movies that appeal to a large audience almost always try to force a PG-13 rating no matter if the material would work better as an R-rated movie, with an F-word allowance greater than one. For some movies the PG-13 rating works with the movie. 2014’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” was a fun movie that was good despite obviously restricting itself to a PG-13 rating. But with other movies, such as “The Hunger Games,” the movies suffer from being unable to effectively explore the world of the material in a way because the creators of the movie are purposely restricting themselves to a PG-13 rating.

Then there are movies like “Deadpool.”

Imagining this movie without the R-rating would be like imagining “Lord of the Rings” without Hobbits. The movie uses the R-rating to its full extent, and it is all the better because of it. Hopefully “Deadpool” can prove that movies don’t need to be PG-13 to be successful.

“Deadpool” is the result of supposedly leaked test footage that came out in the summer of 2014. The scene depicted in the test footage is actually still in the movie, almost shot-for-shot. The movie is directed by Tim Miller in his first major directorial effort. With Ryan Reynolds in the lead as Deadpool/Wade Wilson. Reynolds is obviously the star of the show, but the supporting actors all deserve credit. The supporting cast make many of the jokes in the film hit the mark when one lukewarm performance could derail a whole scene.

The movie is consistently funny, never takes itself too seriously and breaks the fourth wall to great comedic effect. The fourth wall-breaks are particularly noteworthy. Not only are they

used for Deadpool to poke fun at the plot, but they are also used as a sort of framing device for the narrative that adds some much needed freshness to what is essentially an origins story. That being said, be warned: If fourth-wall breaks aren’t your thing, or if you get aggravated by constant banter by a lead character, then this movie is not for you.

“Deadpool” was written by the duo behind 2009’s “Zombieland”–Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick–and you can tell. More often than not, the jokes will land and leave you grimacing. Deadpool’s constant wisecracks also deftly walk the line between funny and annoying, without ever teetering over into the annoying side for too long. One expertly edited montage halfway through the movie left me in tears because of the combination of both the sheer ridiculousness of the events in the montage and Deadpool’s hilarious commentary.

The reason Deadpool’s continuous commentary works so well is due in part because of Ryan Reynold’s excellent performance. I honestly can’t think of anyone that can pull off the constant banter and dialogue with the audience as well as Reynolds did. Not only does Reynolds prove that his other sub-par superhero performances were flukes, but that he is the perfect actor to play Deadpool.

All this being said, I can’t really call “Deadpool” a great movie. There is still something slightly off about it. What would be fair to say is to say that “Deadpool” is a great movie experience. When the movie is good, such as in the action scenes or the more fast-paced scenes, it’s good. The action scenes are fun and well choreographed, and when there isn’t action happening on screen, there is usually something comedic happening to keep your attention. Then there are the other scenes. There is a romantic plot that drives the movie’s narrative, and while it’s not the worst part of the movie; not all of it really helped the film. It’s not a binary distinction between romance and the rest of the film; to the writer’s’ credit they do try to blend comedy into the romance plot, but it definitely fizzles out as the movie continues.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

The other big gripe I had with the film is that the antagonist is unusually boring and completely forgettable. For a movie that uses parody as much as “Deadpool,” one would think that the villain would have some sort of ridiculous quality to them to poke fun at the archetype. For example, Samuel L. Jackson has a lisp in “Kingsman: the Secret Service” and the entire character of Dr. Evil in the “Austin Powers” series is ridiculous. We are able to poke fun at these typical movie villains because of these quirks. But not in “Deadpool.” The villain we get in here is so generic that he could have been replaced by any of the hundreds of goons Deadpool squares off against in this movie.

Other than those two big gripes, there isn’t much that derails the movie. The CGI in some of the action scenes suffers from looking out of place; when one of the characters gets thrown, they fly through the air too fast for it to be real and it just looks odd. Also, some of Deadpool’s jokes just don’t land, and it is awkward when this happens. Thankfully, the jokes per minute rate in this movie is off the charts so any bad jokes are quickly forgotten for ones that actually do hit the mark.

“Deadpool” is a movie in the same league as movies like “Equilibrium,” “Starship Troopers,” and “Blade”; enjoyable movies, but not necessarily good movies. There is definitely entertainment value but not as much lasting substance. There are some parts that could have pushed “Deadpool” beyond parody and into the territory of an actually solid movie, but those parts of the movie are unfortunately the worst parts of the movie. Fortunately, the parts that are good are funny; just don’t expect these scenes, or the movie as a whole, to get better with age.

Just know what you’re getting into when you go to this movie. Don’t expect the next “Kingsman: the Secret Service,” a parody movie that stands on its own as a solid movie. “Deadpool,” instead relies instead on a combination of action, jokes and starpower. Do expect however, to have a fun time at the movie theater, buy some popcorn, turn your brain off and get ready to laugh.

ARTS

February 18, 2016

Page 17

Shadowhunters lackluster in TV reboot Saachi Jain

Guest Columnist

Shadowhunters Juan Pablo Villalobos FSG Originals

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he new Freeform (previously ABC Family) TV Show “Shadowhunters” is the second attempt at adapting the bestselling “Mortal Instruments” book series, which had also been made into an unsuccessful film in 2013. I had read the series in middle school, and though I enjoyed the first few books at the time, by early high school I had grown out of them and realized how badly written they were. I had seen the film and it fully deserved the poor reception that it got, so when I heard that there would be a TV adaptation, I wasn’t too hopeful that I would like it, However, TV adaptations tend to deviate much more from the source material than movies do, so I thought that maybe they would take the premise of the series and improve upon it. For once, I was hoping that an adaptation would be significantly different from the books, and it was also easier to watch for this reason, as I wasn’t thinking about and picking apart every little difference between the two.

The series premiered on Jan. 12, with a 13-episode order for its first season. Despite my low expectations, there was one thing that made me decide to give it a try, and that was the diverse cast. In the book series, only one out of seven main characters was a person of color, and the film followed suit. The TV show, fortunately, has four non-white actors out of the seven series regulars.

The protagonist of “Shadowhunters” is Clary Fray, played by Katherine McNamara, who discovers that she is a Shadowhunter–a human with angel blood–on her 18th birthday.

She witnesses three other Shadowhunters– Jace Wayland, Isabelle Lightwood and Alec Lightwood–kill a demon at the club Pandemonium and is shaken by what she has seen. Her

Campus Canvas

mother, Jocelyn Fray, who was also a Shadowhunter, has hidden her past from Clary, even going as far as erasing her daughter’s memories of anything she witnessed of the shadow world when she was young. That night, her mother is kidnapped by people who work for Valentine, one of the most dangerous and powerful Shadowhunters, previously thought to be dead. With the three Shadowhunters as well as her human best friend, Simon Lewis, Clary works to find her mother and learns about her new role as a Shadowhunter.

Despite how happy I was about the representation within the cast, most of the acting turned out to be less than satisfactory. Dominic Sherwood–who plays Jace, the male lead– is especially bland and makes Jace even more one-dimensional than he was in the books.

Matthew Daddario and Harry Shum Jr., who plays Magnus Bane, stand out as particularly talented, but the rest are either mediocre or fall short, leaving viewers feeling second-hand embarrassment as they watch the cringe-worthy acting.

Many of the characters are also very cliché and stereotypical–particularly Jace–the arrogant, attractive love interest–and Simon–the nerdy best friend who has feelings for his best friend. Clary has some potential as a character, being strong willed and reckless when it comes to protecting the people she loves, and so does Isabelle, who is beautiful, free spirited and often uses her sexuality as a weapon.

The most complex character thus far is probably Alec, who is uptight and wary of breaking the rules, clashing with the others as a result. He instantly distrusts Clary and his negative feelings towards her are implied to be jealousy because of Jace’s romantic interest. Magnus Bane is the most interesting character, an immortal warlock who is hundreds of years old, and though he primarily looks out for himself and initially doesn’t want to help the Shadowhunters, he is persuaded and joins them. He is also bisexual, and takes a liking to Alec, his eventual love interest.

Other than Magnus and Alec, the romantic

relationships are one of the weakest parts of the show. Clary and Jace are incredibly predictable and their instant attraction is based on nothing. Simon’s crush on Clary is also predictable, and the love triangle is more frustrating to watch than intriguing. Furthermore, the hinted upcoming romance between Simon and Isabelle is also an overdone dynamic. The cheesiness of the poorly-written romances is exacerbated by the awkward dialogue and acting.

The strongest character dynamics are the platonic ones–such as Clary and Simon’s childhood friendship, the growing friendship between Clary and Isabelle, and the familial bond between Jace, Isabelle and Alec. I hope there is further exploration of those relationships. The possible friendships between Clary, Isabelle, Jace, Alec, Simon and Magnus have the potential to make the show a lot more enjoyable and meaningful.

The actual plot of the show isn’t really immediately attention grabbing, though it does get more so as the episodes go on. The pacing is uneven and flawed, and the backstory and mythology can be confusing for those who haven’t read the books.

The most interesting part of it, perhaps, is the different species of Downworlders, who, unlike Shadowhunters, have both angel and demon blood in them. There are vampires, fairies, werewolves, warlocks and many other species. The tensions between all the different kinds and the resulting prejudices have a lot of possibilities for future storylines.

Though the show has a mix of action, romance and humor, it hasn’t quite achieved the perfect balance.

All in all, “Shadowhunters” is off to a disappointing and rather campy start, but there is potential for it to improve, if it focuses and expands on its strongest and most interesting aspects. Five episodes have aired so far, and I hope that the quality of the show only goes up. Fans of the book series might enjoy it, and people looking for diversity and LGBTQ representation might want to check it out as well, but others will probably find it lacking thus far.

A weekly space highlighting the creative pursuits of student-artists

Excuse me, What is the second thing you thought when you woke up?

“What should I have for breakfast?”

— Ashley Carey ‘18

“I really want some coffee.”

— Maddie Leong ‘19

“I had a dream, but I’m not going to tell anyone.”

—Hannah Mittman ‘19

submit to misc@vassar.edu

“Today is Tuesday right?”

— Matthew Rodman ‘18

“This time, I’m really not getting up.”

— Ana Bachrach ‘19

“Wow I’m peeing.”

— Alec Shashaty ‘18 and Truck Bartolotta ‘18

I love drawing eyes because of their extreme detail in such a tiny part of the body. To me, the eye is the most essential part of capturing emotion in a human face, so I decided to isolate it and focus on the more concrete and biological aspects — such as tiny veins, gradations in iris color, and reflections of what the eye is seeing — to contrast with its implied abstract emotional quality.

-Glynnis Olin ‘18

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Zander Bashaw, Humor & Satire Editor Sam Pianello, Photo Editor

SPORTS

Page 18

February 18, 2016

Tennis served up rough competition to start spring Annie Hsu

Guest Reporter

A

fter a lengthy off-season, Vassar’s Women’s Tennis Team has begun their spring season action. The Brewers traveled to West Point, N.Y. last weekend to compete against Division I Army where they fell in their first dual match of the semester, dropping their overall record to 2-1.

They have four matches lined up before their annual spring break trip where they will travel to Southern California to play five matches before returning for the Seven Sisters Championships. Coach Bruce Levine will temporarily take the place of head coach Kathy Campbell who is on sabbatical this semester. Coach Levine is bringing decades of experience to the tennis scene. He sees great potential in the team and

is looking forward to another successful season for the team as they come off of a 2-0 winning record in the fall. He has already garnered praise from the team. “I believe we have a great spring in front of us and I am really happy to be coaching such a great team!” says Coach Levine.

Senior captain Lauren Stauffer appreciates what the new coach brings to the team: “He has brought a lot of energy to practice with new drills and conditioning.” Senior captain Kelsey Van Noy added, “I think I speak for everyone on the team when I say how happy we are to have Bruce as a coach this semester. Of course we are missing Kathy (our head coach), but I think Bruce has been a great addition to the team...

Bruce has really pushed everyone to work hard on the court and in fitness, and I believe we are going to have a great season.” “He has a lot

courtesy of Vassar Athletics

Senior captain Kelsey Van Noy has been an integral part of the tennis team’s success. She and senior co-captain Lauren Stauffer lead an experienced squad who was ranked 21 last fall.

of confidence in our play and really pushes us mentally and physically to be the best we can be,” said junior Hanna McGuire.

Hoping to bring good momentum heading into their season, the team has already put in a lot of hard practice to prepare for their lengthy season. From here on out, the Brewers will play at least one match a weekend. Fortunately, most of these matches will be at home in the Walker Bays, giving the team a home advantage.

While the team has only one freshman this year, Morgane Flournoy, the roster is filled with experienced veterans. Leading the team are two seasoned seniors, captains Stauffer and Van Noy. Van Noy expressed, “Because this is my last season, I am most excited to play to the sport I love with a team that I have enjoyed being a part of for four years.” Stauffer echoed these sentiments, “I am really looking forward to competing and traveling with the team.” Van Noy finished her 2014-2015 season with a 3-0 singles record. For the current season she has a 7-5 overall singles record and a 5-7 doubles record.

Plenty of sophomores fill the roster. 2014 All-American Kate Christensen currently plays at the No. 1 singles position. Morgan Fitzgerald, another strong sophomore from California currently has a 8-6 overall record. Fitzgerald and Christensen make a formidable doubles team together currently holding a 7-3 record this school year. Courtney Geiss of South Carolina is another talented player with a current 5-6 singles record. Sophomore Dasha Ivenitsky, from New York, finished her 2014-2015 year with an impressive 9-1 singles record.

The team has three juniors, Hanna McGuire, Shayna Becker and Connie Yoo, returning for this season from semesters abroad. Everyone is very excited to have them back on board.

Stauffer said, “They [Hanna, Shayna and Connie] are great contributors to the team dynamic.” Shayna Becker finished the fall season with a 7-3 singles record in tournament play. Hanna McGuire finished her 2014-2015 season with a 18-4 doubles record. McGuire said, “I’m just

excited to be out here this season after being abroad for the fall. I think we have a young, but very talented team.”

Coach Levine spoke about Yoo, “Connie’s got a great personality, There’s a lot of potential for her. She will definitely be an asset to this program.” The Brewers are excited and eager for the spring program. Everybody is improving and the team is different from the fall both in leadership and in composition. They are looking to bring a very strong force into Liberty Leagues and for everybody to continue their great play and discover their full potential this season.

During competition, the doubles teams occupy the courts first. Therefore, doubles is crucial to starting off the match on a good note. Stauffer spoke about the doubles teams, “Many of our doubles pairings now have had a lot of experience playing together.” This will be a great advantage for the team. McGuire said, “Right now, I’m looking forward to our match against Skidmore and for the strong competition we will face during our spring break trip. I think by that time we will be playing our best tennis.”

Both captains have the same team goal in mind. “Our ultimate goal is to win Liberty Leagues and have a chance to compete at Nationals. However, I also think everyone is looking forward to defending our Seven Sisters title at home in April,” explained Stauffer. Van Noy added, “A more team specific goal would be to build on the successes we had in the fall, both on and off the court. We want to continue grow as a team and remain a strong, inclusive unit so that we can achieve our goals.” Finally, from Coach Levine, “The goal for the team is to live up to our potential and walk off the courts each match having given all we have to give on the day and always keep improving and competing.”

The team’s upcoming matches this spring are against Muhlenberg, Rit and St. Lawrence, with their first home game on March 5 against New Paltz. The Brewers will look to defend their ranking of 21 in the nation this season.

Men’s basketball fights through tough end to season B-BALL continued from page 1

coming up, the team continues to build off of their success. Coming off of a difficult 2014-2015 season stricken with injuries combined with the loss of five seniors, the Brewers have substantially grown as a team. Alex Snyder was the toughest loss the Brewers faced coming into this season. Snyder led the team in field goals, rebounds, assists and blocks. He was also the 13th Brewer to score 1,000 career points. Along with Snyder, Luka Ladan, Curtis Smith, Andrew Adkins and Jonathan Safir each played an influential role during their four years on the squad.

Senior Johnny Mrlik’s knee injury that has left him unable to compete was another crippling loss for the team. In his last competitive season Mrlik led Vassar in scoring with 507 points, a clear asset to the Brewers. Although not in the lineup this season, Mrlik remains invaluable for the team as an assistant coach. Despite these difficulties, the Brewers remain a strong, cohesive unit because each player stepped up to

make the team what it currently is.

“Obviously last season was a disappointment. Guys have really made the extra effort to get better outside of practice hours and I think that it’s shown this season,” said Wasyl. “This year as a team, we have done a good job pushing each other at practice which has allowed us to enter games with confidence.” Of all the returning players, Adams and Browne have improved the most dramatically. Last season Adams only played eight games and averaged 2.4 points per game. Comparatively, Adams’s play has skyrocketed: he has started in all but two games and averages seven points.

Browne has seen similar growth. He played 14 games and averaged 8.3 points overall. This season, Browne has started every game, averages 15.3 points, is 70 percent from the line and has a 40.9 percent three-point percentage. He also achieved a personal record of 31 points against Hobart College.

courtesy of Vassar Athletics

2.3 assists. The senior attributes the team’s and his own personal accomplishments to Dunne, who is in his third season with the Brewers.

“Coach Dunne has always done a great job of reminding us how important it is to get in the gym outside of regular practice hours to improve,” Wasyl said, “He has a clear passion for the game of basketball and for winning, and that has trickled down to the team.” As well as Wasyl, Grinde played to the best of his abilities against Skidmore, scoring 18 points, the most of any of the Brewers during the game. He earned 12 points in the second half and went eight for eight in free-throws, ultimately propelling Vassar to the win.

Looking back on the first bout with Skidmore, Grinde notes, “They didn’t really have an answer for my post moves down low, so I will just have to continue to go at them on the block.

The game plan will be the same, attack their bigs and go at them if the opportunity is there.”

With Dunne’s confidence and the team’s clear abilities, the Brewers attempted to use the momentum of their first victory against Skidmore to challenge them a second time around on Feb. 13. Despite putting up a fight, the men could not close out the game, losing 71-69 in overtime.

Wasyl got his first double-double of the season in the tight game, scoring 19 points and achieving 12 rebounds. Browne and Grinde also had stand out performances, earning 22 and 20 points respectively. The lead alternated between the two teams throughout regulation, and Wasyl sunk a three with 22 seconds remaining to send the game into overtime.

The Brewers and the Thoroughbreds fought hard during the extra period. With only four seconds left in a tie game, Skidmore’s Edvinas Rupkus scored to earn the ultimate two-point edge over Vassar.

After these two loses, the Brewers have a 7-7 conference record and an 11-12 overall record.

They face Bard College at home on Feb. 17 and will later travel to Troy, N.Y. to challenge Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute on Feb. 21 for the final Liberty League contests.

With the Liberty League Championship

Guard Jesse Browne has had an impressive sophomore campaign. He led the Brewers in scoring throughout the season. The Brewers’ new young core signals future success for the team.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

“Jesse is a super talented basketball player and it has been fun to watch his development over these past two seasons,” said Dunne, “He has all the tools to be a player-of-the-year type in our conference and it was only a matter of when he would step up like he has.” The leadership of lone captain Wasyl and assistant coach Mrlik has added to the team’s success. With such a young team, these two players lend experience. Dunne agrees, “Erikson and Johnny are two of the best, if not the best, leaders I have ever been around, playing or coaching,” Dunne expressed, “They lead by example daily and they pour everything they have into this program. They are the model of consistency and their hard work, competitive spirit and heart are the pillars of this program.”

Given the hardships of the previous season and the loss of top players, the Brewers were projected to fall last in the standings. The team has defied all odds and remained among the top five throughout the season. Despite their current losing record, the freshman class, improvements of key players, Dunne’s expert coaching and strong leadership capabilities have proven to be a recipe of success for the Brewers.

Although the season is not yet over, the prospects of next year are high. The team can only continue to flourish and build off of this year’s success to potentially win the league. Grinde shares in this sentiment and has high expectations for this young squad.

“We are losing a big time player in Erikson, and that’ll be hard to replace, but we are a young team with a lot of talent,” said Grinde, “We have an opportunity to do something big here, and so we will put in the work in the offseason and be ready once the first day of practice comes around. We have proven that we can hang with anyone in the league.”

The Liberty League Championships begin on Feb. 24 and the games have yet to be determined. Overall, the team hopes to achieve their ultimate goal of winning the league and advancing to the NCAA tournament. For now, the Brewers are taking the remaining season day by day and continuing to build on their achievements.

February 18, 2016

SPORTS

Page 19

Corruption rampant in pro-tennis world Manchester United: I downfall Evan Udine

Guest Columnist

t’s not a secret that corruption is prevalent in professional sports, whether it be questions of an athlete’s actual age at the Olympics or who gets to host the next World Cup. It is not a new problem, but it is one that many either don’t care about or think is just going to go away. Unfortunately, corruption is not going anywhere.

During the Australian Open last month, Buzzfeed and the BBC jointly published a report that identified 16 professional men’s tennis players, all of whom were ranked top 50 in the world, that were involved in match fixing.

This then sparked an investigation of these leaked documents, which led to a second investigation analyzing the betting activity and match outcomes of over 26,000 tennis matches since 2008. Once this report was completed, the investigators handed over their information to the Tennis Integrity Unit (TIU), a group supposedly made to keep out problems of this nature, but ultimately, nothing came of the investigation. When questioned about why the Unit did not take any action, leader of the TIU Nigel Willerton said that new evidence on past matches could not be accounted for because some of the matches occurred before the TIU was created.

While the article may be seen as a distraction from the Australian Open, the timing of the release could not have been more perfect.

The Australian Open is the first of four Grand Slams during the calendar year, all of which garner heavy media attention. Additionally, last year arguably saw the two most dominant seasons on both the men’s and women’s sides of the game by Novak Djokovic and Serena Williams. With Williams’s devastating loss in last year’s US Open semi-finals after her attempt to pull off a historic calendar slam and Djokovic’s dominance, winning 26 of his 27 final matches including titles at the U.S. Open, Shanghai Open and World Tour Finals, the anticipation

of the slam was as high as ever.

Djokovic, who went on to win his sixth Aussie Open this year, even commented on the matter. He stated that his agents were made an offer of $200,000 in 2007 before he enjoyed any top level success on the ATP (Association of Tennis Professionals) tour. Fortunately, Djokovic was never contacted directly by the bettors.

Maybe the worst part about all of this is that it makes a lot of sense how betting in professional tennis as an individual sport would be more of an issue than with team sports. The experts on ESPN’s Outside the Lines perfectly explained the reasoning behind this. The first issue that tennis faces is the decentralized leadership and organization. There is no one governing body in pro tennis as men’s tennis and women’s tennis are controlled by completely separate organizations. Males act under the ATP and women under the WTA (Women’s Tennis Association). However, the ITF (International Tennis Federation) also controls events, especially on the lower levels.

Furthermore, since tennis is an international sport, with events on different continents every week, it is difficult to monitor all of the betting that occurs, especially at low-level tournaments. Another issue is the possibility to bet within games and matches. You can bet on an outcome, a score, a specific set score or even a game score. Like over under can be influential in football or basketball, tennis takes this to an unprecedented level. For example, a bettor might approach a player and offer to pay them $10,000 if they intentionally lose two games in one set. It’s an obvious chance for players to make some extra money where they can still win the set and don’t risk losing the match.

For many tennis players, an offer of $10,000 for losing two games may seem like a worthwhile offer. This is largely due to the fact that there is a huge wealth disparity among professional tennis players. Last year, Djokovic, ranked at No. 1 in the world, earned over

$21,000,000 in prize money alone, while John Isner, ranked 12th earned $1.7 million. When you look outside of the top 100, it is common for players to earn between $75,000 and $250,000. I am not saying that this is a small amount–the amount of money that professional athletes make in general is a completely different issue–but in comparison to those at the top, it is minuscule.

In comparison to other sports, it’s nothing.

The 100th ranked tennis player in the world made $286,000 last year. Before this NBA season, ESPN ranked Tony Allen the 100th best player in the league. His salary? $4.8 million.

More than twice the amount of John Isner, the 12th best tennis player in the world. I say this not to argue that tennis players deserve more money, but rather that there would be more incentive for tennis players outside of the top 50 to accept this kind of money. In addition to this, tennis is one of few sports that requires players to pay for their own expenses. There is no team funding to pay for a trainer, a coach or travel and tournament fees like the NBA and other professional organizations do. It has been estimated that it costs at least $100,000 per year to participate in a sufficient number of events on the ATP tour. When you are making barely over $100,000 each year, it is nearly impossible to support yourself and compete.

It is apparent why some tennis players might be inclined to accept such bribes. In the past, according to an ATP official, they have issued life bans to players violating rules, but even this rule has come into question as of recent when a previously banned line judge was allowed to participate in the U.S. Open. Because nothing is being done by the ATP, upcoming hearings in men’s tennis are taking place under order of the British Parliament. Unfortunately, not much will be done with this issue until the hearings are completed. I don’t see this problem being rectified any time soon, but as a consumer of professional sports, I hope some good will come of this.

Family support shines through on court Winnie Yeates

Assistant Sports Editor

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efore coming to college, I played several sports: tennis, cross-country, volleyball and even a little basketball (the latter of the four was a complete disaster), but I ultimately ended up ditching all of them except for tennis. I learned how to play tennis when I was six years old, and I have practiced or competed essentially every day since the first time I held a racket.

For years during the summer I would have practice at 6:30 a.m. every day (to avoid the scorching New Orleans summer heat) and would play until around noon. I had many friends growing up who continued on to compete at Division I schools, some of whom, it seemed went to tennis practice in place of school. I played for three years on Vassar’s varsity team, until stopping this year due to other various commitments I had made that unfortunately took precedent over tennis (in other words, my future).

In my years as a competitive tennis player, it never ceased to amaze me how obsessed people are with tennis. I think about other sports fans and their obsessions with football, baseball or basketball, the list goes on (many would argue there’s no crazier obsessed fan than an LSU or Saints fan), but I almost believe tennis players take their obsession to a whole new level of crazy. Tennis fans, for the most part, eat, sleep and breathe the sport. Just ask my parents.

It was my dad who got me into tennis. I took it up nicely. Don’t get me wrong; tennis never came easily to me. I had to really work for it, which made the good days all the more rewarding just like anything else. My dad, excited that he had a child he could share his love for the game with, took me to practices, signed me up for tennis clinics, would hit with me most days after my regular practice and would take me to tennis tournaments out of town on most weekends. It was a part of his life and of mine, and in that we shared a special connection. He never played tennis in high school or college, but was self-taught, and to be honest, he’s pretty good. If you ever come to my house, odds are if my dad isn’t out playing tennis, he’s on the couch watch-

ing it on TV. He plays before and after work as often as he can, and he talks about tennis constantly. He just can’t get enough of it.

My mom, who played tennis growing up, stopped when she had kids, but soon picked it up again after I began playing. She too has now caught “the tennis bug.” She plays as often as possible, in flex-leagues, before and after work, and on weekends. She is constantly talking about what she can do to improve her backhand and she’s far more competitive than most. As hard as she works, when she has free time, she wants to be on the tennis court, no questions asked. I am secretly convinced that if she had really played competitively when she was my age, she would have gone pro. Of all of these truths, I am most certain that if either of my parents couldn’t play tennis, they’d be completely lost.

What’s interesting is, I know many families just like mine, where tennis runs deep within their veins, a genetic trait passed down for generations. But there’s something about tennis that makes people’s obsessions go beyond this, and it’s not simply the fact that it’s a “lifetime” sport.

“Odds are if my dad isn’t out playing tennis, he’s on the couch watching it on TV.” In its most rudimentary form, it’s quite simple. You try to manipulate a spherical ball across a seemingly unconquerable divide to your opponent, and this can go on for any length of time.

Yet this “manipulation” is addictively difficult and takes on a new level of complexity. You never know if the ball and your wrist and arm will behave properly on any given day. In addition, tennis is unbelievably physical and even more mentally strenuous. It provides one opportunities to emotionally and mentally lacerate one’s self, and trust me I’ve seen it and experienced it

first-hand. You can make mistake after mistake, often times the same one, and it will start to eat away at you and make you go a little bit insane.

Oh and you’re basically all alone. Tennis is as many say, the loneliest sport.

Perhaps this is what makes tennis so addictive: a bunch of type-A, compulsive, neurotic people with perfectionist mentalities that are trying to perfect a sport that is impossible to perfect or to even come close to for that matter.

Look at professional tennis players Roger Federer or Serena Williams. They’re both 34 years old and are both arguably the greatest athletes that have ever lived; certainly the best male and female tennis players to have ever lived. They could both happily retire, knowing that they have left an incredible legacy behind them, but they don’t. They are both still playing with no end in sight. They’re obsessed. They’re trying to get their game perfect.

Maybe professional tennis player Andre Agassi said it best, “Tennis teaches you there’s no such thing as perfect...you hope to be perfect, then you’re out there and you’re far less than perfect. And you realize, I don’t really have to be perfect, I just have to be better than one person...

Tennis is...probably the most lonely [sport].

You’re out there with no team, no coach, and no place to hide. That’s why tennis players not only talk to themselves, but also answer. And yet all that loneliness eventually teaches you to stand alone.”

Tennis does in fact teach you life lessons as many other sports do. Patience, practice, perseverance and imperfection among other things, and when you embrace it as a sort of lifestyle you start to metaphorically compare your life to a tennis match. Tennis becomes ingrained into you brain like an internal hardwiring, and even when you stop playing competitively, the things you learned, the matches you’ve played, the world that is tennis doesn’t leave you. In all honesty, while I can’t exactly pinpoint what makes tennis stand out from other sports, Agassi aptly noted, “Tennis uses the language of life. Advantage, service, fault, break, love—the basic elements of tennis are those of everyday existence, because every match is a life in miniature.”

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Desmond Curran Guest Columnist

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ust when it seemed that Louis Van Gaal’s Manchester United had finally turned the page on their relatively dismal season, Sunderland brought every fan’s hopes back down to earth. What started as a promising year for Manchester United following a respectable fourth place finish last season has since turned into a debacle. The promise of building upon their progress from the previous season with the replacement of David Moyes with the well-reputed Louis Van Gaal has since turned into an embarrassment for the club. Once Sir Alex had announced his retirement, the search began at Old Trafford for a new manager to take over the 2012-2013 title-winning squad. This led to the first step in a series of events so unfortunate that would despair even Lemony Snicket. The hiring of the former manager of Everton, David Moyes, marked the beginning of mediocrity for the Red Devils.

I will admit that under Moyes, Everton was a very talented, productive and achieving club in the Premier League. His reputation of success combined with the Scottish connection to Ferguson was what I believe convinced Sir Alex to recommend Moyes as his replacement. If there had not been any number of top tier managers available for hire, then this would have proved a prudent decision until United could hire a manager of Ferguson’s prestige. Moyes should have been a temporary manager. But the Glazers instead ignored the availability of one of the best managers in the world, Jose Mourinho.

The Portuguese manager had publicly admitted earlier that year that he coveted the managerial role at Manchester United, and was a great admirer of Sir Alex Ferguson. Following his exit from Real Madrid, he was in prime position to be offered the United job. However, he was never contacted. The job offer was given to Moyes. Rumors spread that Mourinho was never even considered.

The failure to adequately provide opportunities for Ryan Giggs to grow into a managerial role was also a consequence of the appointment of Moyes.

As soon as Moyes was appointed, Giggs should have been sent to manage a lower-tier team elsewhere in the United Kingdom. Instead, Giggs has withered away as the assistant to both Moyes and now Van Gaal, wasting precious time that could have been devoted to his development as a manager.

In as short as the following year after his appointment, Moyes seemed to do his best to destroy the legacy that Ferguson had left behind.

Despite a decent performance in the Champions League, United finished seventh in the Premier League and crashed out of the FA Cup to sum up a fairly dismal season, relative to United’s previous success of course. All the while throughout the season, United played with a style of soccer so ugly that Mick Jagger would be proud. Signifying a complete lack in inspiration among the United attack, the rest of the season followed an equally bleak course. Moyes was fired at the end of the season, but the damage had already been done.

Come the summer of 2014, Van Gaal was hired and in the following season somewhat rectified United by leading the club to a fourth place finish in the 2014-2015 season. This season can be characterized as a “one step forward, two steps backwards.” Though Van Gaal has somehow managed to keep a hold on David De Gea and signed the extraordinary talent of Anthony Martial, most the United squad has been fairly mediocre.

Manchester United now looks on track to once again finish outside the top four of the Premier League, meaning that they will again miss out on precious Champions League soccer in the 20162017 season. With this achievement, United has also managed to provide some of the most boring soccer known to humanity.According to a variety of sources ranging in reliability, Van Gaal will now be leaving United at the end of the season, with Mourinho finally coming in as his replacement.

However, it will take a monumental effort to revert the damage that has been done over the past three years. Mourinho will inherit a complacent squad that relies on two to three players to carry the team to success.

SPORTS

Page 20

February 18, 2016

Vassar Swimming steps up to block at UNYSCSAs Amreen Bhasin Reporter

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courtesy of Vassar Athletics

his week marks the singularly most important meet of the year for the Vassar College men’s and women’s swimming and diving teams.

For this year’s seniors, it also marks the final meet of their competitive athletic careers. After this meet, only Nationals and for the divers, Regionals remain and only a few will qualify. From Feb. 17 to 20, both teams will be in Ithaca, competing in the Upper New York State Collegiate Swimming Association (UNYSCSA) Championships. The Brewers will be among 16 total teams from around New York and this includes nine Liberty League teams, again including the Brewers.

On the women’s side, Vassar finished eighth out 16 teams. This year the Brewer women managed to improve and chalk up one of their best ever Liberty League finishes. They also placed second at the Seven Sisters Championships.

After a season of immense success, the women look to continue improving and breaking personal as well as school records. Last season, the women broke seven records during the UNYSCSA Championships. Junior Julia Wieczorek, a breaststroke and freestyle specialist, explained how much this event meant to her team. “It’s our final competitive meet of the season, and for most of us it’s the end of season meet. It’s basically the pinnacle of our season, and all of our hard work for the season will be showcased!”

This year, the women’s team features a strong contingent of returners with tons of competitive experience, including junior captain and 2015 All-American Julia Cunningham, but it also features a ton of freshmen talent. Early on in the meet, freshman Sammy Stone is seeded second in the 500 freestyle and is one of just two freshmen currently in the top ten. Freshman Kael Ragnini is No. 11 in the event while seniors Marie Schmidt and Milee Nelson are also in scoring position for the event. Cunningham is currently ranked fifth in the 200 IM while teammate freshman Hayley Schultz will also compete in

the event, the fourth of the competition, as she is ranked in the top twelve. Senior Captain Lily Frye is ranked No. 12 in the 50 meter free.

Looking then at the relays, the 200 medley relay will feature both an A and B squad. The A squad is seeded fourth, while the B is No. 12 overall but fourth amongst B squads. Cunningham, who will compete in the next big event, the 400 IM, is currently ranked second and has already achieved an NCAA ‘B’ cut time and is ranked No. 37 in the country. Senior Anna Kuo is ranked No. 17. Immediately after the 400 IM, Cunningham will compete in the 100 Fly, where she is seeded second, with a time just 0.45 seconds off an NCAA ‘B’ cut. Stone then will compete in the 200 free ranked fourth and is just a second off of the first ranked time.

Senior Maya Pruitt and sophomore Nora Kyrkejebo will compete in the 1m dive and look to earn season and personal bests. Cunningham is seeded third in the 200 fly, her All-American earning event last season, and is No. 20 nationally. Nelson and Ragnini will look to earn points in the 100 backstroke while Schultz is third in the 100 breaststroke, Kuo is No. 13 and Wieczorek is No. 34. All three will attempt to score for the Brewers.

Stone will also compete on the final day swimming collegiate swimming’s longest event, the mile. Ragnini, Schmidt and Sophomore Cali Corbett are all in scoring position for the 1650.

Then Frye, Covaci and freshman Meg Harrington will compete in the 100 meter free. Ragnini will go on to compete as the No. 20 seed in the 200 backstroke, Nelson is No. 22 and Schmidt is No.26. Finally, Cunningham and Schultz sixth and seventh respectively in the 200 breaststroke will join Kuo to try and score for the Brewers.

Wieczorek has been proud of both squads this season. “Our season has been incredible. With a strong start win against New Paltz, record-high finishes at Seven Sisters (second place), Liberty League Championships (third place for the women) and Vassar’s sprint invite (first place for men and women). Our team dynamic has been

Junior captain Anthony Walker and the men’s team is preparing for the UNYSCSA championships on Wednesday, Feb. 17. Both the men and women’s teams are looking to make a statement there. close knit and cohesive, and we’ve been encouraging each other throughout,” she said.

On the men’s side, the team is looking to improve on the ninth place finish they had last year.

Junior Anthony Walker is attempting to earn a spot at nationals for both fly events while sophomore Jonah Strand is looking to earn a spot in the 100 and 200 breaststroke. Freshman Ian LaBash will compete in the first event, the 500 free and is seeded No. 17 as of now. Strand and Walker will both compete in the 200 IM. Junior Clancy Green, freshman Marvin Corleto and sophomore Connor Martin will all dive this weekend.

The Brewers’ 400 medley relay is the ninth seed. Additionally, Walker, who is currently ninth in the 200 fly will attempt to earn the NCAA B cut time. From there, Cristina and Cerutti are in the top 24 for the 100 backstroke.

Strand is less than a second off the time of the first seed in the 100 breaststroke. May is No. 11 in the mile and will attempt to earn a shot in the “A” final for this event. Strand will then compete in the 200 breaststroke, in which he is ranked seventh. Finally, the Brewers’ will enter the 400 free relay, where the team is currently seeded No. 15.

Last year the men broke five school records and most, if not all the Brewers swimmers set career or lifetime bests. Both squads may begin using the Ithaca College facility as a future Liberty League Championship site as the Ithaca College Bombers are set to enter the Liberty League in the 2017-2018 season. At this year’s UNYSCSA, both the men’s and women’s teams will aim to build on their successes from this season and last year in order to qualify for Regionals and Nationals.

Winter meets spring, Brewers keep doing their thing Jamie Anderson

ishing 8-2 in favor of the home side. The dual match’s one-sided nature continued in singles competition as well. Juniors Nick Litsky and Juan Felipe Laso both finished their matches without the loss of a game at 1 and 4 singles respectively; Freshman Nick Lee toughed his way out of a tight first 7-5 and then cruised to comfortable 6-1 second set. Senior Sha Huang played rock-steady for the duration of his win #6 singles. Men’s tennis takes the court again this Saturday against bitter Liberty League rival Skidmore at the AFC.

Guest Reporter

Women’s Basketball

courtesy of Vassar Athletics

Vassar’s women’s squad went up against the same competition as the men’s, facing Union and Skidmore on Friday and Saturday respectively. While the matchups were the same, the women’s team was able to break even in terms of results, besting Union by a score of 66-54, led by Sophomore forward Ariella Rosenthal’s team-best 25 points. The Brewers suffered a tough, one-possession loss to Skidmore College Saturday night 69-72. A definitive bright spot in the contest was the performance of Freshman guard Nicole Teta; she was incredibly effective and efficient from the floor, shooting 8-12 and 6-8 from behind the three-point line, finishing with 22 points, as well as tallying three steals. The Brewer women will also close out their season with matchups against Bard and RPI. Men’s Squash

Vassar squash faced stiff competition this past week, taking the court against a pair of strong teams in Middletown, Connecticut on Saturday. First on the docket was the #28 team in the country Tufts University, against whom the men’s squash team dropped a 0-9 decision.

Despite the scoreline, several matchups were tightly contested. Senior Tim Boycott grinded throughout, as he kept each game more competitive than the last in a 6-11, 8-11, 10-12 loss.

Junior Richard Bryenton went the distance and came closest to claiming a point for VCMSQ , succumbing in an up-and-down contest 7-11, 1412, 6-11, 11-8, 7-11. The Brewers next faced Wesleyan, a task that would prove no less demanding. The 19th nationally-ranked Cardinal men came out on top by a score of 9-0. Men’s squash will travel to New Haven, CT next weekend to compete in the Collegiate Squash Association Championships, hosted by Yale University.

Women’s Squash

The women’s squash team also made the journey to Middletown this past weekend to face off against the same pair of opponents.

It was a rough weekend for senior Stephanie Zhu and the women’s squash team. They fell against Tufts 2-7 this past weekend. They didn’t fare better against Wesleyan, losing 9-0 against the Cardinals.

Against Tufts, though eventually falling 2-7, the Brewer women’s side was competitive up and down the lineup. Sophomore Hannah Nice secured a win in three at the #1 singles position, while Freshman Fiona Agger survived a marathon, needing all five games to see her opponent off 11-7 in the decider to give Vassar a win at #2 singles. In the next matchup, it was Wesleyan’s day, as the Cardinals recorded a 9-0 victory, though Agger managed to force her opponent to four games. The women’s squash team will join the men on their trip to the CSA championships at Yale next weekend.

came back to win the third set 25-18 and force a fourth. Stevens ultimately came out on top, winning the fourth set 25-22 and the match. By the numbers, Vassar came out on top in several statistical categories, leading Stevens in total aces 8 to 3, in digs 66 to 55, and in kills 49 to 47.

Two of the standout performers for the Brewers were Senior Reno Kriz, who contributed 20 kills, 2 aces, and 10 digs; Sophomore Setter Zechariah Lee accounted for 37 assists, 19 digs, and 2 aces of his own. The men’s volleyball team will next take the court against The College of Mount Saint Vincent Tuesday February 16th in Riverdale, NY.

Men’s Volleyball

This week saw Vassar men’s volleyball, currently ranked ninth in the nation in Division III, take on the #6 team in the country and UVC rival Stevens Institute of Technology, at home.

The Ducks took the first two sets in competitive fashion, 25-23 and 26-24; the Brewers

Men’s Tennis

The Vassar men started their season without missing a beat, cruising to a season-opening 9-0 win over Clark University this past Saturday. The Brewers swept the doubles portion of Saturday’s dual match, with each match fin-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Men’s Fencing

Vassar fencing had one of its biggest days in recent memory on February 10th. Although the squad suffered a 7-20 defeat at the hands of NYU, they immediately rebounded to dispatch defending the NCAA National Champion Columbia Lions, by a score of 14-13. Locked at nine apiece going into the epee portion of the matchup, Vassar came out with five wins, which proved decisive as men’s fencing walked away with a big win and reaching 25 victories on the season, breaking the previous record of 23. Senior Elam Coalson went 3-0 in sabre for the Brewers and sophomore Eli Polston and senior Zachary Wilson added two wins each on the day. Fencing moves on to NEIF championships on the 20th.

Women’s Fencing

The women’s squad had a grueling week, competing not only against NYU and Columbia on the 10th, but also in the EWFC Championships on the 14th. They fell 11-16 to NYU and 5-22 at the hands of Columbia. The team rebounded though, taking out CCNY and Hunter College by identical 21-6 scores, while easing past Yeshiva University 25-2. The next three matchups proved more trying, as the Brewers fell to Johns Hopkins 9-18, Haverford 13-14, and Stevens 7-20. Sophomores Kirsten Denman and Annie Innes-Gold were impressive throughout.

Both won their respective weapon titles on the day. Women’s fencing will travel to their own NEIF Championships in Wellesley, MA on the 20th.