The Miscellany News April 20, 2017
Since 1866 | miscellanynews.org
Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY
Volume CXLIX | Issue 20
Production Amey to be next VSA President Vassar unravels reconsiders love myths mission Matt Stein
Elena Schultz and Emma Jones
Features Editor
Senior Editors
W
V Michael Chung/The Miscellany News
e who are young have years ahead of us to experience what we have yet to achieve. But as we get older, we lose those infinite opportunities. What happens when tomorrow might mean that we’re dead? This is the topic that The Philaletheis Society’s production of “Cross Stitch,”—a performance of Charles Mee’s “First Love”—tackled, following Edith and Harold, two geriatrics falling in love for the first time. Portrayed by Atticus Koizumi ’20 and Sami Hodes ’20, respectively, the couple grasp with the new feelings of love at a time when most of their life has already happened. “Cross Stitch” was performed in Sanders Classroom Auditorium on Friday, April 14, at 8 p.m. and Saturday, April 15, at 5 p.m. and 8 p.m. Directed by Alexandra Hatch ’20 and stage managed by Eilif Rønning ’20, this 45-minute play was both poignant and entertaining. Hatch talked about what first drew her to direct Mee’s play: “I had directed a Charles Mee play in the past. And I’m familiar with a lot of his work because he publishes it for free on his website. Usually to read plays, you See STITCH on page 14
On Thursday, April 13, Chair of Programming Miranda Amey ’19 was elected as the next president of the Vassar Student Association. She and the new executive board will take over in a couple of weeks. Laurel Hennen Vigil News Editor
In a few short weeks, the Vassar Student Association (VSA) will usher in a new administration to serve throughout the 2017-18 school year. As announced last Thursday, April 13, the VSA President-to-be is Miranda Amey ’19. Her executive board will be Vice President Anish Kanoria ’18, Chair of Residential Affairs Takunda Maisva ’19, Chair of Equity and Inclusion Tamar Ballard ’19,
Chair of Finance Robyn Lin ’18, Chair of Organizations Patrick DeYoung ’18 and Chair of Academics Joaquim Goncalves ’18. Amey, who is currently the Chair of Programming, has been involved in VSA since the fall semester of her freshman year, when she was elected as the Class of 2019 President. She reflected, “I decided that I really wanted to be the one to represent my class, because at the time, only six men were running and I
felt like I was a better representative of the school’s diversity.” Since then, proper representation has been an important focus for Amey, who was extremely enthusiastic about the fact that the new executive board is made up almost entirely of students of color and also includes several newcomers to VSA, who she feels will bring a different, less bureaucratic perspective. Amey had originally planned to See ELECTIONS on page 4
assar College, like most educational institutions, has a long history rooted in the exclusion of marginalized and disadvantaged groups. While some work has been done to make Vassar a more equitable and diverse place, many of the same institutional exclusions persist. Earlier this year, it was determined that the mission statement needed to acknowledge Vassar’s efforts to increase diversity. Vassar’s mission statement as it currently stands reads: “The mission of Vassar College is to make accessible ‘the means of a thorough, well-proportioned and liberal education’ that inspires each individual to lead a purposeful life. The college makes possible an education that promotes analytical, informed, and independent thinking and sound judgment; encourages articulate expression; and nurtures intellectual curiosity, creativity, respectful debate and engaged citizenship. Founded in 1861 to provide women an education equal to that once available only to men, the college is now open to all. Vassar supports a high standard of engagement in teaching and learning, scholarship See STATEMENT on page 9
Tennis rallies for third Monkeys’ Spring Show on ‘fire’ Seven Sisters title “T Izzy Braham Reporter
Fiona MacLeod Guest Reporter
A
Inside this issue
6
Misc Editorial Board honors Judge Sheila OPINIONS Abdus-Salaam
10
FEATURES
This org is entrancing! They teach ballroom dancing
Courtesy of Juliana Ventresca
fter winning the two past annual Seven Sisters Tournaments, the Vassar College women’s tennis team set out to defend their title. Earning hard fought battles against Bryn Mawr College, Smith College, Mount Holyoke College and Wellesley College, the Brewers took home their third consecutive Seven Sisters Championship title and moved up to the 39th slot of the Division III women’s national tennis ranking. Despite taking home this monumental victory, the Brewers fell to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), ranked 22nd nationally, in a score of 7-2. This loss arrived over a month after the Brewers’ last loss, which occurred against Bowdoin College on March 12. Though this defeat interrupted the team’s nine-game win streak, the Brewers look to bounce back from the matchup in order to improve their play in upcoming Liberty League competition. Sweeping the opening day of the Seven Sisters Tournament, the Brewers posted 5-0 wins against both Bryn Mawr College and Smith College in South Hadley, Massachusetts. The tournament utilizes a modified scoring system, in which players can only compete in either singles or doubles, and are not permitted to repeat in any matches. Though this required the
Brewers to tweak their usual matchups, they were able to overcome this obstacle in order to pull out numerous victories. Head Coach Kathy Campbell attributed a portion of the team’s success to entering the weekend with a strong sense of confidence. “We have demonstrated improvement each week of our season, and had a 10-2 record posted heading into this event,” Coach Campbell explained. “The confidence and positive spirit of our team enhanced our play, just as it always does.” She emphasized the effort of the collective team, rather than a single player, in battling out this win. “We played determined, smart tennis together. It was definitely a huge team effort, with everyone contributing on and off the court. We had many fearless, confident, and gutsy performances.” The Brewers swept their singles matches against Bryn Mawr, racking up three significant victories. In the first match, Vassar College sent out freshman Tara Edwards, senior captain Connie Yoo and junior Lauren DiFazio. Edwards collected her singles victories easily with scores of 6-1 and 6-0, while Yoo followed these efforts easily, winning each of her matches with scores of 6-0. DiFazio continued the successes, earning a 7-5, 6-1 victory. Vassar found similar success in its doubles action, beginning with senior See TENNIS on page 19
he theme is essentially FIREEE,” commented President of the Barefoot Monkeys Christa Ventresca ’17 in an email about the circus troupe’s spring show. On April 15, on the quad, the Monkeys showcased their high-energy repertoire, including hula-hooping, juggling, staff spinning and acrobatic skills. But of course, their Spring Show would not be complete without the Monkeys’ signature incorporation of fire. “This is definitely the most ambitious show I’ve seen yet,” said team member Jaimeson Bukacek Frazier ’19. For this show, the Monkeys fully embraced one of their most dazzling acts, featuring a lot more fire in this show than in their fall performance. With that said, the Spring Show drew a huge crowd, and it was met with a lot of boisterous cheering. With such a big turnout, it is clearly well known that the Barefoot Monkeys’ shows never disappoint. But what goes on behind the scenes in making these enticing performances, and how do the Monkeys stay safe? One thing is for sure—the glamour of the shows comes at a high cost. The Monkeys put in hours of rehearsal in the weeks leading up to it, which is always apparent in their practices on the Quad. Because the show is a culmination of many short acts that feature staff spinning to acrobatics, See MONKEYS on page 15
The Barefoot Monkeys presented their Spring Fire Show this past Saturday, featuring the creativity and diversity of their dynamic acrobatics troupe.
19
History in the making: basketball star is SPORTS record-breaking
The Miscellany News
Page 2
April 20, 2017
Editor-in-Chief Anika Lanser
Senior Editors Emma Jones Elena Schultz
Contributing Editor Yifan Wang
News Features Opinions Humor and Satire Arts Sports Design Online
“I made the incredibly smart decision to take Colloquial Spanish, which has filled a significant portion of my shaky vocabulary with Spanish curse words that I almost blurt out during especially intense episodes of Pasapalabra. The hundreds of other phrases I’ve learned will certainly come in handy for the next two months before I leave Spain forever, never again finding myself in an appropriate social context for calling someone ‘the milk’ and it being taken as a compliment.”
The Miscellany News 20
April
Thursday
Conservation Leaders of Tomorrow 8:00am | The Environmental Cooperative Barn MPR | The Environmental Cooperative
Music on the Bridge
11:30am | Bridge North Atrium | Music Dept.
Our Changing Lives, Work, Family and Policy in a Time of Gender Equality
Gallery Talk
5:00pm | The Loeb Permanent Galleries |The Loeb
Late Night at the Loeb
5:00pm | The Loeb Atrium | The Loeb
Art Talks by Art Majors
6:30pm | The Loeb Permanent Galleries |The Loeb
“And three months into my Spanish misadventure, I’m actually able to follow most conversations. I wouldn’t say I’m ‘la leche’ yet (especially not in front of my host mother, because I’m pretty sure it’s a bad word), but I still have until the end of May.” To read more about Jackson’s adventures in Madrid, check out http://farandaway.miscellanynews.org.
Weekender_ 21
April
22
Friday
April
In the Light of Naples: The Art of Francesco de Mura Lecture
Saturday
Track & Field (M/W) vs. Liberty League Championships
5:30pm | Taylor 102 | The Loeb
8:00am | Prentiss Weinberg Field and Outdoor Track| Athletics
SEAfest
6:00pm | College Center 223 and Villard Room | SEASA
GET Together
8:00pm | Aula | Christian Fellowship
23
April
Sunday
Tennis (M) vs. St. Lawrence University
Baseball (M) vs. Rensselear Polytechnic Institute
Senior Recital: Laura Barreto, Soprano
Vassar College Madrigal Singers
1:30pm | Skinner Recital Hall | Music Dept.
Noise on Noyes
2:00pm | Noyes Circle | Noyes House
Assistant Copy Assistant Social Media Assistant Photo Web Master & Technical Advisor
Claire Baker Hannah Nice Michael Chung George Witteman
Reporters Sasha Gopalakrishnan Meg Howell Kaitlin Prado Andrea Yang Columnists Jimmy Christon Jesser Horowitz Steven Park Sylvan Perlmutter Drew Solender Design Scarlett Neuberger Maya Sterling Yoav Yaron Copy Adele Birkenes James Bonanno Gabriela Calderon Leah Cates Jillian Frechette Tanya Kotru Gode Sumiko Neary Jessica Roden
10:00am | Joss Tennis Courts | Athletics
Vassar Smasher #3
1:00pm | College Center 223| Vassar Smash Club
Courtesy of Noyes House Team
5:00pm | Taylor 203 | Economics Dept..
Jackson Ingram/The Miscellany News
Jackson Ingram/The Miscellany News
Copy
Laurel Hennen Vigil Matt Stein Nick Barone Evelyn Frick Noah Purdy Patrick Tanella Olivia O’Loughlin Talya Phelps Charlotte VarcoeWolfson Sarah Dolan Kelsey Quinn Laila Volpe
12:00pm | Prentiss Baseball Field | Athletics
3:00pm | Skinner Recital Hall | Music Dept.
Paper Critique
9:00pm | Rose Parlor | The Miscellany News
Severall Friends
8:00pm | Skinner Recital Hall | Music Dept.
CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed. The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
Games, free food, music, and even a bouncy house! Join Noyes House Team for Noise on Noyes.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
April 20, 2017
NEWS
Page 3
Vassar launches second ‘What Happens Here’ survey Hanna Stasiuk Guest Reporter
[Trigger warning: discussion of sexual assault.]
L
ast week, Vassar students received an email inviting them to participate in the “What Happens Here” survey. As the survey website explains, “[This study] examine[s] Vassar student views, knowledge, and experiences around issues related to sexual violence, including the incidence and prevalence of all forms of sexual misconduct...experienced by students at Vassar. The survey also covers student perceptions of the campus climate related to sexual misconduct and the effectiveness of policies and campus prevention efforts related to these behaviors” (Vassar College: What Happens Here Survey, “FAQS,”). Students can find the link to the survey in an email dated April 13 from Director of Institutional Research David Davis Van-Atta. Those who choose to participate can expect to spend 10 to 30 minutes answering the questions, depending on how much information they have to report. The survey will remain open until the end of April. All students are strongly encouraged to participate. Vassar first conducted the “What Happens Here” survey in April 2015. The Office of Equal Opportunity and Affirmative Action Director and Title IX Coordinator Rachel Pereira commented that the goal of the survey was to collect information. She said in an email, “The College embarked in the 2015 survey voluntarily because we believed that it was important for us to get baseline data by which we could measure our Title IX efforts to date.” The carefully-designed survey ensured that Vassar collected this baseline data. In a written statement Davis Van-Atta described how the College developed the survey, “[The survey] was developed first by about 15 Northeast highly selective private colleges in a collective process coordinated by Wesleyan University ... Each
school sent at least one survey expert from Institutional Research and one (often two) experts from Title IX functions, health services, counseling services, etc.” He continued, “Each school could include local questions and topics in addition to the core survey created by the Wesleyan survey design. Vassar took advantage of the local design option for about 20 to 25 percent of its 2015 survey, using a ‘Survey Oversight Group’ consisting of Vassar staff in Health Services, Title IX, SAVP, and Institutional Research, as well as the VSA VP for Student Life.” According to the Executive Summary Report, Vassar invited all students enrolled at the College for the 2015 spring semester and students on Junior Year Abroad to participate in the 2015 survey. 1,171 students completed it, including 731 cis women, 380 cis men, 49 non-cis students (including individuals who identified as genderqueer or trans) and 11 students who did not indicate their gender identity. The report noted that response rate for women was about 52 percent and for men about 36 percent. A response rate for other gender identities could not be determined because no student records data existed for this information (“Executive Summary of Data and Findings from the Vassar College Campus Climate Survey regarding Sexual Assault and Misconduct, Dating Violence, Stalking, and Vassar’s Title IX Processes, Conducted Spring, 2015”). The survey found that experiences at Vassar were similar to those at other colleges. Davis Van-Atta elaborated, “One highly thematic finding was that Vassar is not fundamentally different from other colleges and universities in most aspects of what the survey explored. We found ourselves to be remarkably similar to other schools, both those like Vassar, and others quite different.” Pereira highlighted this particular finding as well. “Vassar was in line with national statistics that indicated that one in five cis women indicated that they have experienced sexual assault on campus,” she wrote. “These experiences
were particularly prevalent during freshman year.” Davis Van-Atta provided further statistics about student experiences. He commented, “The cumulative effect of annual incidence rates were found to result in, in a given year, 14.8 percent of cis-women, 5.3 percent of cis men and 18.8 percent of non-cis populations over all four classes at Vassar to report having experienced at least one non-consensual penetrative sexual assault during the time enrolled at Vassar...Among graduating seniors then, the cumulative effect of Vassar’s annual incidence rates was found to result in 20.5 percent of cis women, 7.5 percent of cis men and 30.4 percent of non-cis populations reporting at least one incident of non-consensual sexual assault between enrolling as a first year student and graduating as a senior.” Almost all reported incidents occurred on campus, were between two or more Vassar students, and often involved someone that the survivor identified as a “friend” or “acquaintance.” Davis Van-Atta noted that under 10 percent of survivors filed a formal report with Vassar after an incident occurred, and none filed one with law enforcement. After Vassar processed the 2015 survey results, several changes occurred at the College. Vassar hired a full time sexual assault prevention educator and created a Presidential Title IX task force. House teams, senior leadership, the Board of Trustees, employees and incoming freshmen participated in mandatory training. Safety and Security training increased as well and Vassar paid additional attention to campus lighting. Vassar also increased its pool of trained outside adjudicators to try to ensure due process for all students and created focus groups for students of marginalized identities such as students of color, LGBTQ students and women-identifying students to talk about their experiences with Title IX. Representatives from the Title IX Office now regularly visit residence halls to ensure that they are safe for all students.
SART members and student groups work on advocacy around local and national sexual assault prevention efforts as well. The 2017 survey will reveal how students have perceived these reforms. In 2015, fewer than 50 percent of survey respondents expressed the belief that “Vassar was working to remedy underlying factors on campus that may lead to sexual assault.” Fewer than 50 percent also reported that they were confident in the Title IX Office’s ability to conduct “thorough and unbiased hearings,” “through and unbiased investigations,” “accurately [determine] what actually occurred” and take “appropriate action(s) against perpetrators found responsible.” Cis females reported lower confidence levels than cis males for each of these Title IX processes (Vassar College, “Executive Summary of Data and Findings from the Vassar College Campus Climate Survey regarding Sexual Assault and Misconduct, Dating Violence, Stalking, and Vassar’s Title IX Processes,” 2015). Pereira believes that this updated 2017 survey will help Vassar meet the needs of all students. “The [2017] survey includes several questions that will allow us to compare our results from 2015 to now,” she wrote. “We looked at sample surveys from across the country to ensure that what we had best met the needs of what we want to ascertain from our students. “We were very careful to be sure that the questions would elicit the information from students that would allow us to most effectively address their needs. We also engaged several survey subcommittees to find ways to increase participation amongst historically marginalized students.” Pereira hopes that as many students as possible will participate in this survey. “We are asking students to engage in this survey because our goal is to keep them safe during their time with us,” she explained. “If students are candid with us then we will be able to use the results to make the appropriate changes that are needed to keep us all safe.”
MfA President ponders STEM education crisis, solutions Steven Huynh Guest Reporter
S
qualified workers as assumed. Nevertheless, STEM education itself leaves much to be desired, an issue which pushed Ewing to become President of MfA in early 2009. Billionaire philanthropist Jim Simon founded MfA in 2004 for the collaboration of STEM educators across the country. As MfA states, “We find the best mathematics and science teachers, create opportunities for their professional and intellectual growth, and sustain them in their teaching careers. Within our community, they share knowledge, advance teaching skills, and define excellence itself—which means they can enjoy dynamic, interesting, and challenging careers without ever leaving the classroom” (Math for America, “Who We Are,” 2017). MfA attempts to attract individuals with strong STEM skills into the education sector, specifically high schools. The program began in New York City but has expanded into Los Angeles, Boston and Washington, D.C. (Math for
America, “National Network,” 2017). Through fellowships, MfA provides higher salaries, strong communal ties and teaching preparation and assistance to compete with more lucrative sectors like finance. In doing so, the nonprofit produces strong teachers who are not only highly qualified but passionate about their jobs as well, which could lead to less turnover and more consistency in inner-city schools. Eventually, retention of these educators will lead to a generation of students who can compete globally in STEM sectors. More importantly, however, these students will have the ability to think critically and enjoy learning—the goal being that they will become educators themselves and instill the same passion into a new generation. Ewing stressed the key role of these educators and the necessity of providing them with a support network so that they can thrive: “We need to find them. We need to cultivate them. We need to especially celebrate them.”
Courtesy of Vassar College
ponsored by the Math Department, President of Math for America (MfA) John Ewing gave a lecture this past Thursday, contemplating whether the United States is undergoing an education crisis, whether in Science, Technology, Mathematics and Engineering (STEM) or otherwise. Ewing provided several examples showing that, in reality, education in America has improved over the past few decades. For instance, many of the best universities in the world are based in the United States. This crisis mentality can be attributed to media sensationalism and political incentives. Ewing also noted that many of the policymakers who craft our education system rely on data measures, which they themselves most likely do not understand. The nuances in these measurements can change results entirely. Many students in the audience came from cognitive science, physics and mathematics backgrounds, so the talk was incredibly relevant to these STEM majors, especially since many in the room had an interest in becoming an educator or being involved with the education system. Funding through the Vassar Noyce Teacher Scholarship (VNTS) Program, founded by the National Science Foundation, made the lecture possible. VNTS seeks to increase the number of STEM educators in K-12 schools across highneed districts—the program awards STEM majors $20,000 a year during their junior and senior years as well as a stipend if they decide to finish their student teaching in the fall after graduation. Physics and Astronomy major and Noyce scholar Alexandra Trunnell ’17 explained, “We’re on the track to become STEM teachers and thought this talk was incredibly relevant to our future careers. I thought the lecturer did a good job in balancing how false crises have consequences while also not negating the problems in our education system. I appreciate how he also brought solutions to these problems.” Ewing’s greatest critique of the education system was that everyone involved seems to oversimplify both the means and the ends. That is, they make educational tools like test scores into
long-term goals and insensibly reduce complex systemic problems into something as innocuous as a lack of school choice or unions being responsible for the retention of poor teachers. People dichotomize nuanced issues within education into digestible viewpoints, arguing that either charter schools are unfair and ineffective or that we need to funnel more money into good schools and starve out bad ones. Ewing argued, “In education, unlike in politics, recognizing that things are complicated is crucial to finding solutions that are real” (Huffington Post, “Education—It’s Complicated,” 1.25.2017). His reasoning resonated with William Tseng ’17 who said, “It was interesting how he pointed out one of the most overlooked problems in our society, how politicians and journalists use the idea of an ‘education crisis’ to gain supporters or to sell more copies. In the end, everyone redirects their anger and all the blame is unfairly pushed onto teachers. The cracks in our education system go much further than that and everyone needs to recognize this.” However, does this mean that there is not a STEM education crisis? Again, it is complicated. One side argues that the American education system is not pushing STEM hard enough for the nation to compete globally while the other believes that doing so will eventually cause a huge surplus of specialized workers struggling for employment. According to Director of the Georgetown University Center on Education and the Workforce Anthony P. Carnevale, demand for STEM workers is outpacing global supply (Georgetown University, “STEM: Executive Summary,” 2011). Carnevale concluded that while the United States does need more STEM workers, the real problem is the lack of STEM competency among the general workforce. Another study conducted by the Bureau of Labor found the STEM labor market to be heterogeneous, varying based on location, time and skillset: there is a surplus of PhD candidates aiming for tenure-track positions as well as a shortage of electrical engineers in the government sector (Bureau of Labor Statistics, “STEM Crisis or STEM Surplus? Yes and Yes,” 5.2015). Despite the media frenzy over STEM shortages, actual analysis demonstrates that this labor market does not seem to be in dire need of
Pictured above is the Bridge Building, where many STEM classes are taught. On April 13, Math for America President John Ewing delivered a lecture on STEM education.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
NEWS
Page 4
April 20, 2017
New VSA Exec talks goals, motivations for next year ELECTIONS continued from page 1
run for Chair of Equity and Inclusion, but decided that Ballard would do a better job. The only other position in VSA where she would have as much potential to enact change, she felt, was the office of President. During the coming year, Amey said her focus will be making VSA as accessible and responsive to students’ needs as possible. “VSA has so much history of not responding to the students enough. Being the president is really about directing the vision, and I think part of that really needs to be that we’re more responsive to the students, especially the students who are not often represented or talked about, even, on the Senate floor, let alone represented properly,” she said. Amey added, “I’m so happy and so thankful that I was voted as your VSA President. My goal is to not let you down and I’m going to do the best I possibly can.” Kanoria, the current 2018 Senator for Strategic Affairs and former Cushing House President, intends to focus on making VSA as transparent and accountable to constituents as possible, something he thinks has historically been lacking in Vassar’s student government. He elaborated,
“VSA considers a lot of important questions that are supposed to have student input, but students don’t know about it. Like, just two weeks ago, we were discussing a change to the Mission Statement of the College, which is really important, but no one knew about it. So I want to make sure that big-picture items that VSA is supposed to represent the students on, the students know about and can give feedback on.” Some of the ways Kanoria hopes to accomplish these goals include posting VSA attendance records on its website, creating a database of meetings and demands met and sending out a VSA review survey twice a semester in order to get feedback on what the student body thinks VSA is doing well and what it feels could still be improved. Maisva decided to run because he felt that the Board of Residential Affairs—of which he’s been a member this year as part of his role as Noyes House President—wasn’t well-known or understood by most students. Despite where they live being a major factor in students’ lives, he observed, many didn’t know who their VSA representatives are or what the Board of Residential Affairs actually does, something he hopes to remedy
Courtesy of Vassar College
Pictured above is the New England building, where the VSA Senate meets every Sunday at 7 p.m. Next year, the VSA will be led by president-elect Miranda Amey ’19.
in this new role. “VSA is about all of us. It’s not just the people who are elected for positions. [Students] should know that they make a difference, that even if they aren’t sitting in the meetings all day, their voice matters,” he said. Ballard, who is new to VSA, felt that assuming the role of Chair of Equity and Inclusion would enable her to give a voice to students’ concerns— particularly those of marginalized identities or those who are often underrepresented. She said, “I saw that people weren’t comfortable on campus and wanted to do something about it. Especially in this committee, in particular, we have the power to really make sure that people are comfortable and make the school more aware that there are people feeling uncomfortable.” Along with Maisva and other members of the Noyes House Team, Ballard has organized several discussions, such as We Got You and We Got You, Too, on identity and intersectionality. She hopes to continue this work in her new role, and will also strive to make the Social Consciousness Fund more accessible for students, especially students of color, with similar desires. Lin is also a newcomer to VSA, but has served as the treasurer of the Asian Students’ Alliance (ASA) for the past two years. “As a treasurer of one of the largest budgets of any VSA org,” she said, “I felt like it was my responsibility to help other treasurers manage money as well as ASA historically has, [and help them] understand the ways they can utilize [their budgets] for the benefit of not just their constituents, but also the greater Vassar community.” She added that she hopes to increase VSA transparency and to serve as a representative within student government for her fellow international and Asian students at Vassar. Like several other members of the new executive board, DeYoung originally got involved in VSA through his House Team, though he now serves as the Class of 2018 College Planning Senator. After fielding many constituent concerns regarding student organizations, he decided to run for a position whose main focus is orgs, a huge part of students’ college experience. “For many
News Briefs Turkey passes government reform The Turkish government held a referendum on Sunday, April 17, voting to grant Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan increased executive powers. Touted as governmental reform aimed to fix an ineffective and outdated system of governance, the referendum was divisive amongst Turkish citizens, and severely disparaged by international critics. The reform won by a small margin—51.4 to 48.6 percent—with President Erdogan claiming victory under the suspicious eyes of officials around the world. “We are enacting the most important governmental reform of our history,” Erdogan announced Sunday night. “Debate about this issue is now over...We are not going to stop.” (The New York Times, “Erdogan Claims Vast Powers in Turkey After Narrow Victory in Referendum,” 04.16.17.) (Washington Post, “In divided Turkey, president defends victory in referendum granting new powers,” 04.17.17). U.S. President Donald Trump congratulated Erdogan in a scheduled phone call Tuesday. Trump’s congratulatory attitude, however, clashes with those of other officials—including American ones. Mark Toner, spokesperson of the U.S. State Department said Monday, “We look to the government of Turkey to protect the fundamental rights and freedoms of all its citizens. The United States continues to support Turkey’s democratic development, to which commitment to the rule of law and a diverse and free media remain essential” (Washington Post, “Trump calls Erdogan to congratulate him on contested referendum,” 04.17.17). German Chancellor Angela Merkel also took a cautious tone. “The tight referendum result shows how deeply divided Turkish society is and that means a big responsibility for the Turkish leadership and for President Erdogan personally,” she said. (BBC, “Turkey referendum: Trump congratulates Erdogan,” 04.18.17). The most severe concerns, however, are with the legitimacy of the referendum. “In general, the referendum did not live up to Council of Europe standards. The legal framework was
students, the first point of reference or contact with the VSA is through student organizations and activities. It’s important to make this interaction as positive, equitable and transparent as possible,” DeYoung commented. In his new role, he wants to focus on helping new students learn to navigate student government structures and find a way to get involved on campus. He added, “If our committee can, without being overbearing, also encourage student organizations to be more outwardly focused in the local community, while being conscious and representative of our guiding principles of antiracism and intersectional feminism in their work, it will be a successful year.” Goncalves, another VSA rookie, didn’t expect to run until recently. “A year ago, I would’ve scoffed at the very idea [of running for a VSA position],” they commented via email. “I, like many others in my community, [am] disenchanted with many of the formal structures of this institution. Even more so, many of us queer/trans Black and Brown students feel deeply uncomfortable and highly skeptical of structures like the VSA for their lack of efficacy and political ambivalence. This is why I decided to run. I was tired of hearing empty declarations of ‘equity’ and ‘diversity’ while my community was, and is, deeply hurting.” Goncalves also plans to increase VSA’s engagement with administrators and to ensure that all students have access to reports of the Board of Trustees’ activities. Outgoing VSA President Calvin Lamothe ’17, offered some advice for this new team in a email. His guidance included focusing on effective time management and building collaborative relationships with administrators. And, for Amey in particular, making an effort to remember big-picture goals in order to not get bogged down in the dayto-day minutiae of running VSA. Lamothe concluded, “I would love for the VSA to continue being a ‘political’ body—one that values antiracism and intersectional feminism in its work. I believe that next year’s leadership will hold up these values and strive to hold Vassar accountable to them as well.”
ADVERTISEMENT inadequate for the holding of a genuinely democratic process,” said Cezar Florin Preda, head of that delegation. The Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe (OSCE) has its doubts as well. An OSCE report concluded, “The 16 April constitutional referendum took place on an unlevel playing field and the two sides of the campaign did not have equal opportunities. Voters were not provided with impartial information about key aspects of the reform, and civil society organizations were not able to participate. “The campaign framework was restrictive, and the campaign imbalanced due to the active involvement of the president and several leading national officials as well as many local public officials in the ‘Yes’ campaign” (OSCE, “Lack of equal opportunities, one-sided media coverage and limitations on fundamental freedoms created unlevel playing field in Turkey’s constitutional referendum, international observers say,” 04.17.17). The Turkish Foreign Ministry released a statement in response to these criticisms, saying, “The comment that the referendum was below international standards is unacceptable” (CNN, “International monitors deliver scathing verdict on Turkish referendum,” 04.18.17). President Erdogan rejected the criticism as well. “We will not see it, we will not hear it, we will not accept it,” Erdogan said during a statement at his palace. His specifically addressed European monitoring boards. “First of all, you should know your limits. Know your limits. We would neither see nor hear nor know the politically-oriented reports you prepare. We will just march ahead. This country has just undertaken the most democratic elections never seen in any Western country ... We don’t care about the opinions of ‘Hans’ or ‘George’” (CNN) (Bloomberg, “Erdogan Says He Doesn’t Care What Europe Thinks About Turkey’s Vote,” 04.17.17) Protests in Turkey against the reform continue as internal officials investigate allegations of voter fraud. -Dylan Smith, Guest Reporter
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
April 20, 2017
NEWS
Page 5
Updates from the VSA VSA Elections Have Concluded–Meet Your New Senate! Last Thursday, after days of filing, campaigning, and then more campaigning after some unexpected technical difficulties, we announced the results of our 2017 Spring Elections! Meet the second VSA Senate: Executive Board: Miranda Amey (President), Anish Kanoria (Vice President), Tamar Ballard (Chair of Equity & Inclusion), Joaquim Goncalves (Chair of Academics), Pat DeYoung (Chair of Organizations), Robyn Lin (Chair of Finance) and Takunda Maisva (Chair of Residential Affairs). Committee Chairs: Tanyx Madrigal (Health & Wellness), Maimuna Touray (Planning), Rori Chuck (Programming). Class Senators: Cyrus Cohen, Alicia Menard-Livingston, Jacob Sowder (2018); Max Jahns, Robin Corleto, D’Angelo Mori, Kiki Walker, Yina Wang (2019); May Venkat, Brandon Impastato, Micah Fedenko (2020). College Planning Senators: Angela Sbano and one more to be filled by appointment.
VSA Friday Movie Night: This Week’s Screening is Moonlight! The VSA and the Campus Activities Office have revived the Friday Night Movie Series that took place long ago in Blodgett Auditori-
Changes to College Mission Statement Recently, a committee comprised of Trustees, administrators, faculty and students proposed minor changes to the College’s Mission Statement that would emphasize the college’s commitment to upholding diversity and inclusion. The major addition to the statement is a sentence that reads as follows: “Founded in 1861 to provide women an education equal to that once available only to men, Vassar continues to pursue diversity, inclusion, and equity as essential components of a rich intellectual and cultural environment in which all members, including those from underrepresented and disadvantaged groups, are valued and empowered to thrive.” Upon receiving the VSA’s feedback, the committee requested that the VSA propose alternative language for the statement. Instead, the VSA Senate endorsed a statement that declined to provide alternative language to the statement. Read the VSA’s statement below: The First Senate of the Vassar Student Association declines to offer alternative wording for the Proposed Mission Statement. The pursuit of justice is essential, but that pursuit must be undertaken with an acute awareness of the unjust state of the present and the past. If the Mission Statement cannot acknowledge that Vassar is not and has not been a place that pursues diversity, inclusion and equity, then the VSA Senate does not believe that it is productive to propose changes in wording. As proposed, the Mission Statement assumes
that Vassar has been (or at least has attempted to be) a justice-oriented institution for the marginalized ever since its founding. It is true that Vassar was founded as a women’s institution, but it was founded as an institution for white, upper-class women. Obscuring this fact erases the institutional struggles of the very “underrepresented and disadvantaged groups” whom this statement purports to support. The College has not “pursue[d] diversity, inclusion, and equity” ever since its foundation, and the 1st VSA Senate, recognizing that any language which does not maintain that illusion would be rejected, declines to propose or endorse Mission Statement language saying that it has. Final New York City Shuttle of the Year! Save the date: the last VSA-sponsored VSA shuttle to New York City will be Saturday, April 29. As the date approaches, keep an eye out for more information via email and in these Misc updates about ticket sales! Take the What Happens Here Survey! Vassar is conducting the second What Happens Here: Campus Climate survey of all currently enrolled students concerning issues relevant to sexual assault, misconduct and interpersonal violence at Vassar. In order to have reliable information, it is vital that as many Vassar students participate as are comfortable. Your candid answers will be helpful, informative and appreciated. Your participation is entirely voluntary and completely anonymous. Your decision to answer any particular question on the survey, or not, is equally voluntary. Links to the survey are individualized (so that the survey may not be taken twice) and can be found in your vassar.edu email inbox until Friday, April 28th. The email containing
the link is labeled: “Vassar Sexual Misconduct Survey - your invitation and link”. Survey FAQs, including findings from, and responses to, the 2015 Campus Climate Survey may be found on our survey website! Stay tuned for updates at http://www.vassar.edu/ whathappenshere/ Let’s encourage one another to take this survey so that we have a better understanding of #WhatHappensHere. Annual Budgeting Annual Budgeting is underway for the 201718 year. This year’s VSA Senate will vote on the 2017-18 budget at their last meeting of the year on April 30! —Calvin Lamothe, VSA President
Courtesy of Joshua Sherman
There will also be a few more Senate positions (Co-Chairs, etc.) filled by appointment. You can check out the full results on the Misc’s Twitter account! To go back and read the winning candidates’ statements, check out http:// vsa.vassar.edu/dash/elections/candidates.
um every week! This week (Friday, April 21), the movie will be Moonlight, screening at 8 p.m. in the Blodgett Auditorium. Refreshments will also be provided thanks to our new popcorn machine!
Current 2018 Senator for Strategic Affairs Anish Kanoria ’18 was recently elected as VSA Vice President for the 2017-18 school year.
Author Ruth Gilligan discusses history behind new novel Ashley LaMere Guest Reporter
L
that appeared in the Guardian, “Even in 2016, writing an Irish novel with Jewish characters takes chutzpah, since so many critics and readers will immediately remember that most famous of Irish literary heroes, Leopold Bloom” (The Guardian, “Nine Folds Make a Paper Swan by Ruth Gilligan Review - Tales of the Irish-Jewish Experience,” 07.01.2016). Frawley is referring, of course, to the main character in James Joyce’s “Ulysses,” perhaps the most infamous exploration of the Jewish community in Ireland to date and a mainstay of the Irish literary canon. It appears, therefore, that Gilligan is treading on hallowed literary ground, and will have to add a fresh take to the topic. In Gilligan’s view, she is doing just that. She attributes her success as a novelist, in part, to her tendency to write for a young adult audience: “One of the reasons [the novels] did well is that they kind of filled a niche. Young adult fiction didn’t really exist as a genre in Ireland then in the way that it does now.” Gilligan acknowledges that her work is not entirely unique, however, and that it is in fact informed by many of her own experiences in her youth. “These were autobiographical novels, completely.” She also remarked with a wry smile that her friends still cringe when they recognize a particularly embarrassing scene from their youth in the pages of her books. Yet, one of her greatest joys during the writing process occurs when those she knows intimately connect with her work. “My highest high is, even beyond the [being published in] America thing, and the nice reviews, when a friend or a colleague or even someone you haven’t spoken to in ages sends you a text saying [...] that scene with the breakup, or whatever, that was amazing,” she said. To the aspiring writers at Vassar, Gilligan offers this advice: rather than obsessing over getting published, write about what makes you passionate and trust in the fact that you are consumed by it. She realizes that this is easier said than done, however. Her reaction to her editor’s warning that she probably would not be published was less than measured: “Poor guy, I just burst into tears!”
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Courtesy of Ashley LaMere
iterature enthusiasts thronged the Class of ’51 Reading Room last Wednesday, April 12 at 5 p.m. to see Irish author Ruth Gilligan speak about her fourth book, “Nine Folds Make a Paper Swan”. Gilligan’s visit to Vassar was merely one stop on her North American tour for Nine Folds, which constitutes her American novelistic debut. In “Nine Folds,” Gilligan explores themes of belonging and conversion in writing about the Jewish community in Ireland, which by current estimates numbers around 1,000 and is shrinking. “Nine Folds Make a Paper Swan” contains three historically separate narrative arcs–they follow, respectively, a Lithuanian-Jewish immigrant family to Ireland at the turn of the century, a mid-century Jewish boy named Shem who is institutionalized and a contemporary Irish Catholic girl named Aisling—all of which, Gilligan foreshadowed at her lecture, intersect by the novel’s end. As part of her research process, Gilligan relied heavily on the power of oral histories. “I had tea with nearly every member of the Jewish community in County Cork,” she explained, and along the way, unearthed myriad, though perhaps stereotypical, parallels between the Irish and Jewish communities. Both groups, she elaborates, formed diasporic communities with grand literary traditions, and somehow managed to maintain a certain self-deprecating sense of humor despite being oft-persecuted. One tale that resurfaced again and again in these conversations, says Gilligan, is the “story about the boat.” As legend has it, many Jews fleeing the pogroms in Eastern Europe at the turn of the 20th Century left their country for America by boat. When the captain announced a stopover in “Cork,” however, the Jewish immigrants heard “New York,” and deboarded to find a new, if accidental, home in Ireland. There they have stayed, concentrated mostly in County Cork and in the Belfast region (in today’s Northern Ireland), albeit in reduced numbers from the community’s height of 5,000 strong.
Gilligan’s influences include writers such as Jewish-American author Nicole Krauss and Israeli author David Grossman. Gilligan was particularly inspired by Colum McCann’s “Let the Great World Spin,” a daring work set in 1970s New York City and centering on Philippe Petit’s infamous tightrope walk. Gilligan follows McCann’s example, who learns about other lives in an attempt to write toward what he wants to know. Among the communities McCann has researched and subsequently written about are the Roma of Europe, homeless Black residents of New York’s subway tunnels and gay ballet dancers in Russia. Visiting Professor of English Sinéad O’Connor and Professor of English Paul Russell, who both helped organize the event, concurred. “Writing toward what one wants to know is the great freedom of the fictional experience,” Russell said. He added that he was once horrified by a visiting professor who counseled the men in his creative writing class only to write from a man’s perspective. “An approach such as McCann’s,” asserts Russell, “encourages empathy and frees us from the prison of ourselves and our biases.” Lecture attendee and English major Emily Chancey ’18 agreed: “I’m interested in reading her new book and was particularly struck by her interest in creating empathy through literature. Creativity and storytelling are impactful ways to explore the narratives of marginalized communities.” Such an approach, of course, also runs the risk of instrumentalizing the experiences of the communities in question for one’s own personal gain. As Gilligan herself asks, “What right did I have to write this novel?” In order to address such concerns, Gilligan follows McCann’s lead—she embeds her timidity over writing about other lives and her anxiety of appropriating others’ experiences into the narrative itself, often through her characters’ voices. Concerns over appropriation, it seems, are not the only risk that Gilligan takes in writing about the Irish-Jewish community. As Oona Frawley writes in a July 2016 review of the book
At a lecture on Wednesday, April 12, Irish author Ruth Gilligan discussed her latest novel, “Nine Folds Make a Paper Swan,” which centers on the Jewish community in Ireland.
OPINIONS
Page 6
April 20, 2017
The Miscellany News Staff Editorial
Sheila Abdus-Salaam’s life, career deserve celebration
O
n Wednesday, April 12, Sheila Abdus-Salaam’s body was found in the Hudson River. Abdus-Salaam served as an associate judge on the New York Court of Appeals, and she was the first Black woman to be appointed to this court, which is the highest in the state of New York. In lieu of a traditional staff editorial, the Editorial Board of The Miscellany News wishes to dedicate this space to celebrating the life of this inspiring local and national figure. Not much is known about the circumstances surrounding Abdus-Salaam’s death. It is not yet confirmed what the cause of death was. As the investigation continues, we feel it is more appropriate to highlight her accomplishments instead of engaging in speculation about her death. As one of seven children from a working-class family, Abdus-Salaam’s path to success was not easy. She attended Barnard College for her undergraduate degree, then studied law at Columbia University to earn her J.D. She immediately utilized her position as a public defender as a means to defend those who could not defend themselves, working in Brooklyn for low-income people at Brooklyn Legal Services. When she was an assistant state attorney general, she worked in the Civil Rights Bureau of the New York Attorney General’s office. She was also appointed a New York State Supreme Court justice. Before her final position, she was an associate justice in the First Appellate Division of the State Supreme Court. Finally, in 2013, New York Governor Cuomo nominated Abdus-Salaam to the New York Court of Appeals, where she served until her death last week. Not only was Abdus-Salaam the first Black woman to serve in this prestigious position, but she also paved the way for others to follow. Associate Judge on New York State Court of Appeals Rowan D. Wilson joined her on the court this year, and it was the first time that the Court
of Appeals has ever had two Black justices. Throughout her career, Abdus-Salaam was a part of many important decisions that demonstrated her dedication to making the legal system more just for lower-income people and people within marginalized groups. Last summer, the decision of Brooke S.B. v. Elizabeth A.C.C. gained attention as a major moment for the LGBTQ+ community. Abdus-Salaam wrote the decision for this ruling that determined that a parent does not legally have to be biological in order to earn custody rights post-separation. In this decision, she asserted that the previous law was “unworkable when applied to increasingly varied familial relationships” (The New York Times, “Sheila Abdus-Salaam, Judge on New York’s Top Court, Is Found Dead in Hudson River,” 04.12.2017). This endowed same-sex couples with fundamental rights as parents in New York. One of her other major decisions brought crucial protection to immigrants. In 2013, the same year she was appointed to the Court of Appeals, the court overturned a previous ruling that New York judges did not have to inform immigrant defendants that they may be deported if they plead guilty to a felony. Abdus-Salaam also wrote the decision for the majority in this ruling. The death of Abdus-Salaam is a shocking and tragic loss that should be being treated as such. However, the media coverage has been half-hearted, even hasty: Many sources, including the Washington Post and The New York Times, have updated their articles with corrections of basic facts that should have been known about this prominent woman. For example, both the Washington Post and Bustle incorrectly reported that she was Muslim, when this information has not yet been confirmed true or false. Bustle has not yet corrected this misreporting. We feel that Abdus-Salaam is not getting the respect she deserves in both a lack of coverage
about her death and a lack of sensitivity in the coverage that does exist. This is a time to mourn the loss of a woman who did important work and paved the way for her successors to be able to continue her work. —The Staff Editorial expresses the opinion of at least 2/3 of The Miscellany News Editorial Board.
“I discovered that I am the great-granddaughter of slaves. That’s important because this great-granddaughter of slaves is the first African American woman on the highest court of the state of New York. ... [I]t tells you and me what it is to know who we are and what we can do.” —Sheila Abdus-Salaam
“Justice Sheila Abdus-Salaam was a trailblazing jurist whose life in public service was in pursuit of a more fair and more just New York for all.” —Governor Cuomo
“Her personal warmth, uncompromising sense of fairness, and bright legal mind were an inspiration to all of us who had the good fortune to know her. Sheila’s smile could light up the darkest room.” —Judge Janet DiFiore
“Sheila Abdus-Salaam set an example for generations to come, as much for her brilliance, moral conviction, and remarkable professional achievements as for her kindness, modesty, and understated yet unfailing generosity.” —Gillian Lester, Dean of Columbia Law School
Discourse around Syrian intervention needs more nuance Sylvan Calko Perlmutter Columnist
T
he established political factions of the United States nearly unanimously greeted the recent intervention in Syria, in the form of shooting 59 tomahawk cruise missiles at At Al Shayrat airfield, with approval. The Democrats, despite their disdain for Trump’s policies in general, on the whole welcomed the intervention. After all, it was Obama and the Democrats who originally pushed for congressional authorization to similarly intervene in Syria in 2013 only to have congressional Republicans deny the Obama administration approval. This need for congressional approval for military ventures, enshrined in the constitution, was ignored this time around as the Trump administration unilaterally ordered the intervention. The Democrats have since had to carry out the uncomfortable task of declaring their support for the missile strikes while constantly adding in that they would have loved to been asked permission first. Congressional Republicans, unsurprisingly, are not as wedded to the sanctity of congressional approval this time around. There are powerful reasons to object to the recent intervention in Syria, and a diverse political grouping ranging from die-hard Trump supporters to the far left have voiced them. The past two decades of military intervention in the Middle East have proved disastrous. There is little doubt that if the US had not invaded Iraq, there would be no ISIS, and that the 2011 military intervention in Libya failed to bring about a democratic government out of the rubble of the Gaddafi regime. In fact, the two problems have merged, and a branch of ISIS has expanded by taking advantage of the fractured state of Libya. There is also an argument specifically from the left-wing, that although an intervention in Syria could possibly help bring about a peace settlement, ideally one in which the Alawite ruling minority cedes a greater amount of representation to the repressed Sunni majority, the Trump administration is the last government that could effectively prosecute such a course. Trump and broad swaths of his administration
have displayed deep bigotry toward Muslims and Arabs, and Trump has displayed a certain carelessness towards the human costs of war by approving the disastrous strike in Yemen that left innocent civilians and a Navy SEAL dead. However, there can be no denying that a strong moral and legal case for intervention exists. Using sarin gas, as the Syrian government has done, is a clear and contemptible violation of international law. And although people are quick to draw an equivalency between the Syrian government and the large segments of the rebels that are religious extremists, it can not be denied that the greater part of the half a million people that have died in the conflict have been killed by government/pro-government forces. Syria in 2017, and even Libya in 2011, are wildly different from Iraq in 2003. Saddam killed many people, but there was no massive and methodical slaughter of hundreds of thousands. Comparing Syria to Iraq to advocate for non-interventionism does a disservice to the sheer horror of what the Syrian people are going through.
“The Democrats, despite their disdain for Trump’s policies in general, on the whole welcomed the intervention.” Yes, we must remember the errors of Iraq and Libya, but we must also remember that perhaps 800,000 tutsi would not have died in Rwanda if an outside actor had decided to intervene, and that the ethnic cleansing of Bosniaks and Kosovar Albanians by Serbia would have been total if not for a US-led NATO intervention. Basically, intervention has to be taken on a case by case basis. Although for now I support, with a consider-
able degree of reservation, a measure of intervention in the Syrian conflict, I condemn those who have sought to paint the non-interventionists as supporters of chemical weapons strikes and lovers of the Assad dictatorship. There should always be a place in political discourse for those who advocate peace, even if it might not always be the best option. When that political vision and its adherents are subjected to McCarthyite suppression as un-American, like many objectors to the Iraq War were in the emotionally fraught environment created by 9/11, hawkish elements are emboldened to be more aggressive on the war front than they would be otherwise. There is still a crucial way that establishment Democrats and anti-interventionists of all stripes can unite regarding the Trump administration’s policy in Syria, and that is by demanding that the administration produce a coherent strategy and realistic set of aims in Syria. The generals of the USA are highly competent, and will in all probability fulfill their military objectives, but they are not diplomats. Without a clear vision of a negotiated peace to strive for during the fighting, the American war machine will roar onwards unrestrained. Demanding a comprehensive plan, to be debated over by the public, can potentially narrow the scope of the intervention as opposed to just giving Trump a carte blanche by either fully supporting or denying intervention. So far in this regard the Trump administration has continuously contradicted itself. UN Ambassador Nikki Haley said that Bashar Al Assad must go while Secretary of State Rex Tillerson said that getting rid of him was not a priority. Tillerson has since said that the Assad era is “coming to an end”, but the fact that there was any contradiction in the first place speaks to a deeply troubling lack of coordination in the government. Furthermore, the period of time in which Assad was in critical danger of losing power has long since passed. Since the fall of Aleppo, Assad continuing presence has been ensured. He might not have the power, without the continued aid of Russia and Iran, to regain con-
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
trol over all of Syria, instead delegating power to a series of regime aligned war lords, but he will in all likelihood have a seat at the table whenever a peace or armistice is signed. It would be more realistic for the United States to carry out a limited intervention in coordination with allies that involves further retaliations against the use of chemical weapons and attacks on foreign aid workers, and should include no fly zones over populated urban areas that have been victims of indiscriminate bombings and gas attacks against civilians.
“So far...the Trump administration has continuously contradicted itself.” The United States should be invested less in regime change and more in limiting the scope and scale of the war by decreasing the range of options Assad and his allies have. Deprived of its most deadly weapons, and having to rely only on its paltry amount of ground troops, Assad’s government might be more amenable to a negotiated settlement. One that might not result in democracy, but might grant the Sunni Arab majority more representation and/or autonomy in relation to the dominant Alawites and certainly include amnesty measures for rebels. For the moment, I tentatively support intervention. But I will not get behind any and all strategies to carry it out. If the US ultimately decides to approach Syria with the Bush era “Shock and Awe” strategy of troop surges and massive displays of force, then I will retract my support and return to total disagreement with the Trump presidency. For now, as the US strategy towards Syria remains in flux, I will cling to the hope that we, as a nation, can do something to make sure that 500,000 more will not have to die.
April 20, 2017
OPINIONS
Page 7
Neuroscience of religion reveals hidden cultural trends Steven Park Columnist
I
t seems that more and more young Americans don’t feel quite as deeply connected to deities as their parents or their grandparents. According to the Pew Research Center, the number of Americans under 30 who “never doubt the existence of God” has dropped from 83 percent in 2007 to 67 percent to 2012 (The Week, “3 Reasons Young Americans are Giving Up n God,” 06.14.2012). In addition, only 18 percent of Millennials reported that they attend religious services at least once a week, compared with 26 percent of Boomers in the late 1970s (Pew Research Center, “Religion Among Millennials,” 02.17.2010).
“[O]nly 18 percent of Millennials reported that they attend religious services at least once a week...” With more people turning away from God and the church, questions surrounding the scientific implications of this generational trend can’t help but arise: How would this historic trend affect the minds and brains of young Americans, who will become the future of this country? In order to find an answer, we can turn toward a relatively obscure discipline in science: neurotheology Neurotheology is the study of spirituality in the context of neuroscience, striving to explain religious experience in neurosceintific terms. “[We] evaluate what’s happening in people’s brains when they are in a deep spiritual practice like meditation or prayer. This has really given us a remarkable window into what it means for people to be religious or spiritual or to do these kinds of practices,” said Dr. Andrew Newberg, an established neuroscientist and Director of Re-
search at the Myrna Brind Center at the Thomas Jefferson University Hospital (NPR, “Neurotheology: This is Your Brain on Religion,” 12.15.2010). So, what do studies of the brain tell us about the impact of religion? In 2014, Dr. Newberg compared the brain scans of Franciscan nuns, Buddhist monks and staunch atheists in prayer, he found something interesting. The brain scans indicated that praying and meditation caused increased activity in the limbic system, the part of the brain that regulates emotion, and decreased activity in the parietal lobe, the brain region responsible orienting oneself in space and time (The Telegraph, “What God Does to Your Brain,” 06.20.2014). “It seems that the brain is built in such a way that allows us as human beings to have transcendent experiences extremely easily, furthering our belief in a greater power,” says Newberg. According to him, this discovery explains why spirituality is one of the defining characteristics of our species. Surprisingly, the connection between the parietal lobe and spirituality runs deep. All the way back in the 1990s, Canadian cognitive neuroscientist Michael Persinger tried to artificially replicate the mental effects of religion with his invention, the “God helmet,” a helmet that directed complex magnetic fields to parts of the brain including the parietal lobe (The Telegraph). While crowds of Evangelical Christians protested outside his lab, Persinger invited participants to test the helmet. To his delight, more than 80 percent of the participants reported sensing a presence in the room that they took to be their deity. As a result, they became deeply emotional and, once the experiment concluded, were filled with a sense of loss (The Telegraph). Persinger theorized that the electromagnetic disruption created by the helmet caused one hemisphere of the participant’s brain to separate from the other and sense it as an entirely separate presence (Slate, “God is in the Dendrites,” 04.26.2007). Funnily enough, Persinger’s experiment then supports the claims of Princeton
psychologist Julian Jaynes, whose 1976 book proposed that the left and right hemispheres are like two separate beings and that signals from the right brain were interpreted by the left brain as the voice of God. Ultimately, this would mean that supernatural occurrences such as divine visions and out-of-body experiences are merely the result of environmental disturbances.
“So while cultural trends may shift away from god, it won’t be all that surprising if religion continues to persist for years to come.” However, there are still skeptics. Graham Ward, the Regius Professor of Divinity at Oxford University states that these claims are still shaky at best and that the temporal lobes “light up for any kind of excitement, not just religious experience.” A more recent research study has found that humans naturally suppress the analytical parts of their brain and more heavily use the parts linked to empathy when they believe in God. Not only that, but the opposite occurs when humans think about the physical world instead (Independent, “What Believing in God Does to Your Brain,” 03.24.2016). Anthony Jack, a Professor of Psychology at Case Western Reserve University who lead the study, claims that humans use two different networks of neurons, one that enables critical thinking and one that promotes empathy. He explains that not only does this discovery broaden our understanding of spirituality in the history of cultures, but it also suggests that a healthy brain can choose which network to depend on and which to suppress when confronted
with a logical problem or an ethical dilemma. This idea that religion may arise from pathways in the brain rather than physical brain regions has been gaining traction recently. In a different study led by researchers at Auburn University showed that subjects who perceived supernatural agent in their daily lives were more likely to use brain pathways associated with fear when asked to think about their religious beliefs (The Telegraph). They also found that devout believers tended to use neural pathways connected to language, while atheists tended to use pathways associated with visual imagery. Most interestingly, while religion has been shown to heavily influence the brain, the brain can actually change how a person views religion. According to Boston University Professor of neurology Patrick McNamara, changes in brain chemistry caused by Parkinson’s disease has been shown to erode a patient’s faith and devotion to God (The Telegraph). These patients, McNamara discovered, lacked the neurotransmitter dopamine, which made him suspect that religiosity is connected to dopamine activity in the prefrontal lobes. This theory fits surprisingly well in the context of a completely different study, one where researchers used functional MRI scans and found that religious and spiritual experiences activate the same reward systems in the brain that becomes active when listening to music or doing drugs (CNN, “Religious Thoughts Trigger Reward Systems like Love, Drugs,” 11.29.2016). But even if spirituality is just a matter of brain chemistry, several theories point to religion as an evolutionary adaptation. A number of reports have found that churchgoers live about seven years longer than atheists and tend to have greater success with recovery from diseases like breast cancer and rheumatoid arthritis (The Telegraph). They are also more likely to have lower blood pressure and less likely to have depression. So while cultural trends may shift away from god, it won’t be all that surprising if religion continues to persist for years to come.
Transphobia permeates coverage of ‘Survivor’ contestant Kelsey Quinn Online Editor
A
t the end of last week’s episode of Survivor, Jeff Varner outed fellow Survivor contestant Zeke Smith as trans on a national platform, creating one of the most devastating and disturbing moments I have ever seen on television. I can’t offer a firsthand opinion on this as a trans person. Centering trans voices here is important, and I suggest reading up on what trans people have had to say about this, including Zeke himself in an article for the Hollywood Reporter. What I can offer, however, is the perspective of someone who is a bit of an expert on the show Survivor, which I think is one worth offering for the sake of discussing this event. A better understanding for those who don’t follow Survivor on what happened and what dynamics were at work may help to illuminate why this moment was even more terrible and complex than the mainstream narrative that is currently being discussed. On the outs with his group, Varner was almost certainly going to be voted out that night. In his desperation to finally make the jury stage of the game after three seasons, he sunk lower than anyone ever has for a million dollars that we’ve seen in 17 years of the show by putting someone’s real life outside of the game in danger. In trying to expose a secret alliance between Zeke and Ozzy Lusth, Varner announced that there was “deceit” at play among the group. And then he turned to Zeke and asked, “Why haven’t you told anyone you’re transgender?” With this utterance, Varner perpetuated one of the most dehumanizing and dangerous stereotypes about trans people: that by being themselves, they are being deceptive–that the real them is their existence pre-transition. Zeke played in two consecutive seasons of Survivor, and because of the logistics of filming, no one playing on this season had seen Zeke’s first season yet. Varner assumed that Zeke’s trans identity would have been discussed in his first season and therefore did not realize he was outing him to the audience. However, this is absolutely no excuse for what he did; in fact, it’s a monumental example of why no one should feel that they have the right to share anyone’s gender
history or status as a trans person. No one has the right to out anyone to anyone, whether it be to the six people he thought he was outing Zeke to, or the millions that he actually did. Once you release that information, the trans person no longer has control over who hears it. Outing a trans person is putting their comfort, wellbeing and life at risk. Jeff Varner, in his apology, released on his social media accounts just after the episode aired, described what he did as “assault.” Trans people are not obligated to share their gender history. Zeke was under no obligation to carry the title of the first trans Survivor player if he didn’t want to, which he didn’t–and now he is forced to. Zeke was cast because he is a smart, strategic, upbeat, charismatic guy who is amazing to watch on television, and that is what he wanted his narrative to be. Trans people are not obligated to be role models or representatives of their communities. In a game where players are stripped of their personal lives and possessions, there is no obligation to bring deeply personal information into the game, and Zeke should have been no exception. And the circumstance under which the outing happened further denied Zeke the power over his own narrative. What Varner did was even more egregious in context than it looks to outsiders. Zeke, while facing this devastating event, is still in a game for a million dollars. Reacting strongly, violently, angrily at all could have jeopardized his chances to win, even though he had just been the victim of a violent transphobic act. As Varner exited, Zeke instead gave him a hug. From this point on, Zeke will play this game that already causes immense stress with the added burden of knowing that his life will change forever when this episode airs, and knowing that the information will probably spread to his fellow competitors. Varner outed Zeke during “tribal council,” the meeting that the players attend before voting someone out of the game. As two-time Survivor player Stephen Fishbach said in a podcast that streamed just after the episode aired, tribal council is the place where shocking information is “least likely to impact the vote but most likely to make air.” Because of how Varner did this, CBS could not edit it out.
Furthermore, the public display did not make any strategic sense; there was no way it would ever work, making its maliciousness even more apparent. If Varner had brought it up on the beach in the hours they had before the vote, it would have still been inexcusable, but it would not have made the episode, and CBS would have been able to protect Zeke. When Varner outed Zeke at tribal council, though, it caused a public explosion of emotion. All of the other players shut Varner down without hesitation. They yelled at him and sobbed for Zeke. By the end of the conversation, host Jeff Probst decided it would be disrespectful to go through the formality of a vote. Instead, he asked Varner to come forward, and he snuffed his torch, symbolizing the end of his game. There was no way for production to edit around this, and I am grateful that the editors and Probst treated this with the care and seriousness it deserved. However, I do not find CBS to be completely blameless. All evidence suggests that Varner planned this attack. It came at the end of a calculated speech about why they should keep him in the game. Before they went to the meeting, Varner essentially alluded to having something up his sleeve for tribal council. Former Survivor players Corinne Kaplan and Max Dawson expressed their skepticism with CBS’s role in this moment in their podcast, pointing out how extensive those confessional interviews with producers are. Kaplan and Dawson guessed that the producers almost definitely knew that there was a chance Varner would do this. And instead of telling Varner that no, that was absolutely off-limits in order to protect Zeke, they may have waited to see how it would play out, knowing that trans issues are at the forefront of today’s cultural conversation. I don’t think it is at all far-fetched to suggest that the producers may have knowingly exploited Zeke and let this happen in order to get media attention. However, what absolutely did not happen is a deliberate setup by all involved. Survivor is not a scripted show; these are not actors. Claiming that this is fake or scripted belittles the pain that Zeke has gone through because of this and how it will impact his life in very real ways. I need to stress that this wasn’t some conservative moron who did this. Jeff Varner is gay and
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
has been an outspoken advocate for the trans community. Both he and Zeke have been two of my most beloved Survivor players. This made it all the harder to watch, all the more painful for everyone involved, and all the more important to talk about. Just because you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you are not automatically given status as a good ally for trans people. This was not a purely evil man who did this. This is far more complex, and to simplify this to a good/evil binary is erasing the very real issue of dangerous conceptions of trans people, even by people who feel that they have the best intentions. In his podcast with Stephen Fishbach that streamed right after the episode aired live, fulltime Survivor podcaster and legend Rob Cesternino, as if he knew what would happen in the coming days, said: “Jeff Varner doesn’t get to be the victim here.” Varner understands the gravity of the mistake he made; he realized it the moment he did it and was in tears with remorse in his final words. This does not make it excusable, and he understands that. He has since lost his job and has been reportedly near-suicidal. By villainizing Varner and ruining his life, though, we as cis people are ignoring the chance to analyze our own behavior and how to speak up against the harmful behavior of those around us. Instead, attacking Varner has become a pat-on-the-back moment: “Hey, look what this guy did! I would never do that!” The narrative has shifted away from supporting Zeke in the name of a false illusion of self-congratulation This story getting as much attention as it has is the worst thing that could have happened for everyone involved, of course for Zeke more than for anyone. By spreading this story with little context, the news outlets have branded Zeke as “THE trans Survivor player,” which is exactly what he said he did not want. It is so important to be conscious of the narratives we are participating in as we are reeling in shock even a week later. Please read Zeke’s piece for The Hollywood Reporter to read his firsthand account; it is an incredible article. If you are cis, take this moment as a chilling reminder of the importance of listening to trans people about how you can best support and protect them.
OPINIONS
Page 8
Word on the street How would you solve the VSA debt crisis? “Sell the SoCos” — Sarah Garijo-Garde ’20
*Awkward laughter* — Siennah Yang ’18
“Sell Raymond… sell everything” — AnnaRose Broome ’17
April 20, 2017
British left must look to Liberal Democrats Jesser Horowitz Columnist
I
f the situation for leftists in the United States appears dire in the age of Trump, it pales in comparison to that of the fledgling Labour Party in the United Kingdom. Polls show Britain’s predominant left-of-center political organization trailing the Conservative Party by 21 points, and set to face one of the most significant defeats in their history (Daily Mirror, “Two polls show Labour trailing by 21 points - the worst result since Gordon Brown was PM,” 4.17.2017). This is a direct result of the unpopularity of Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn. Even if Jeremy Corbyn had an actual chance at becoming Prime Minister, Britons have good reason to fear such as a result. Corbyn has repeatedly come under fire for doing little to fight growing antisemitism within the Labour Party and has himself been accused of antisemitism due to statements he made in 2009 that referred to Hamas and Hezbollah as “friends” (The Guardian, “Jeremy Corbyn says he regrets calling Hamas and Hezbollah ‘friends’”, 7.4.2016). In addition, his shaky leadership has led to a series of resignations from his shadow cabinet. This included Heidi Alexander, Shadow Secretary of State for Health; Ian Murray, Shadow Secretary of State for Scotland; Lucy Powell, Charles Falconer, Shadow Secretary of State for Justice; and Chris Bryant, Shadow Leader of the House of Commons. (The Guardian, “Shadow cabinet resignations: who has gone and who is staying”, 6.27.2016). This ultimately led to a leadership election in 2016 which, somehow, led to Corbyn returning as Opposition Leader. Of arguably graver concern is Jeremy Corbyn’s stance on Brexit. Historically, Corbyn has been a Eurosceptic who opposed Britain’s membership in the Common Market, opposed the Maastricht Treaty in 1993, and opposed the Lisbon Treaty in in 2008. He has previously backed a referendum on Brexit. During his campaign for leader of the Labour Party he hinted at possibly supporting Brexit (The Huffington Post, “Jeremy Corbyn Refuses to Rule Out Campaigning for Britain to Quiet the European Union”, 7.25.2016). Although Jeremy Corbyn’s position on the European Union shifted in the run-up to the referendum, his campaign to remain was accused as being
lukewarm at best. Phil Wilson, who chaired Labour In For Britain, blamed Corbyn’s lack of leadership for the referendum result. He lashed out at Corbyn for going on vacation in the middle of the campaign and failure to visit labour heartlands (The Guardian, “Labour In For Britain chair criticises Jeremy Corbyn’s campaign involvement”, 6.26.2016). Following the referendum Corbyn has embraced the result and urged Article 50 to be invoked immediately. He urged Labour Party members to stand by the results of the referendum regardless of its impact and regardless of evidence that many of those who voted yes to Brexit did not actually want to leave the European Union. Under his leadership, the Labour Party has consistently failed to actively combat a hard Brexit. That is not to say that those on the left should find solace in Theresa May and the Conservative Party. Even though May, who previously served as Home Secretary, opposed Brexit during the campaign, since taking office she has reversed positions, seemingly backing a hard exit. She has assured Britons that “Brexit means Brexit” (Euronews, “What is Theresa May’s view on Brexit?”, 12.7.2016). She placed Boris Johnson, a prominent pro-Brexit campaigner to the position of Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs. She has made little-to-no effort to assuage the fears of the over 16 million people who voted against Brexit, backing a withdrawal the would hurt the people she represents. And the United Kingdom is left without a real alternative to Theresa May’s hard Brexit. Jeremy Corbyn has demonstrated an inability to lead and is not strong enough in his opposition to leaving the European Union to justify taking the risk. Trusting that the conservatives would likely result in a hard Brexit that ignores the input of 16 million people do irreversible harm to British society, not to mention lead to austerity measures. Yet, for those in Britain who oppose a hard Brexit there is an alternative to Corbyn and May: the Liberal Democrats. Despite the name, the Liberal Democrats is a centrist political party that at various points in its history has leaned either left or right. In the 2015 General Election, the Liberal Democrats, who at the time served in government alongside the Tories, lost a staggering 49 seats in the House of Commons. Its once popular leader,
Nick Clegg, resigned. By all outward appearances it appeared that the Liberal Democrats had become essentially defunct.However, since then the Liberal Democrats have reinvented themselves as a dominant voice against Brexit. They have been the only major British political party that has fought against the government’s plans on leaving the European Union. And, they are slowly regaining their popularity. Just one hour after the 2017 election was announced, the Liberal Democrats gained 1,000 new members (Independent, “Lib Dems gain 1,000 members in just one hour after snap election is announced”, 4.18.2017). While that pales in comparison to their rivals, it at least allows for the possibility that the Liberal Democrats could be a force to be reckoned with in this upcoming election.The Liberal Democrats could theoretically gain enough seats in Parliament to prevent the Conservatives from getting a majority, forcing them to compromise on their hard Brexit platform. That is not to suggest that the Liberal Democrats have any chance whatsoever of winning outright. They don’t. Even the most generous polls only put the Liberal Democrats at around 11%. To gain a majority the Liberal Democrats would have to win a net 317 seats in the House of Commons, a feat that is all but impossible. But, the Liberal Democrats could theoretically gain enough seats in parliament to prevent the Conservatives from getting a majority, forcing them to compromise on their hard Brexit platform. This is very possible. The Liberal Democrats have already successfully used their anti-Brexit stances to win the 2016 Richmond Park by-election and gain 34 council seats from the Conservatives. And according to election strategist Lynton Crosby, a special election could easily result in the Conservatives losing most if not all of the 27 seats they won from the Liberal Democrats in 2015 (New Statesman, “Exclusive: Conservative poll showed party would lose seats to Liberal Democrats”, 4.5.2017). This would likely result in a hung parliament. This is the best result that the British people could hope for. It would give the Liberal Democrats considerable bargaining power and their support would determine whether Labour or the Tories would take power, likely resulting in a fairer deal for the British people.
More discussions of menstruation needed Kimmie Nguyen Guest Columnist
W “I’m going to” — Future VSA President Miranda Amey ’19
“What’s the VSA debt crisis?” — Alex Alcantara ’17
“Demolish the bridge building and sell the scrap metal” — Hallie Ayres ’18
Evelyn Frick, Humor & Satire Editor Micheal Chung, Assistant Photo
e have to start talking about periods to those who menstruate. I mean serious talks, because my barely adequate how-to-use-a-sanitary-pad and nonexistent how-to-insert-a-tampon talks were not enough to prepare me for the four years of hell I endured, never knowing that I had other options or that what I was experiencing was a sign of a problem. We need to talk to folks who menstruate about what is normal for a period, what is abnormal for a period and what to watch out for as indicators of underlying problems. I have dysmenorrhea, which is a condition that makes my menstrual cycles more painful than most other menstrual cycles due to severe menstrual cramps. Menstrual cramps are caused by a release of the hormone prostaglandin, which causes the uterus to contract to allow the shedding of the uterine lining. When the uterus contracts too strongly, it presses against nearby blood vessels, and pain is caused by the temporary loss of oxygen to the uterine muscles. For many, the pain presents itself as a mild discomfort, but those with dysmenorrhea produce more prostaglandin, which causes stronger contractions and thus more severe pain. While the causes of increased levels of prostaglandin are not known, all the symptoms are explained by the increased levels of prostaglandin.
“In non-medical terms, this means that my period quite literally debilitates me.” In non-medical terms, this means that my period quite literally debilitates me. For three days, I am in bed, unable to move, vomiting from the
sheer magnitude of the crippling pain I am in. Once, I even fell asleep in a bathtub after vomiting, unable to fight through the pain to get myself out. I cannot eat for three days, and the pain doesn’t allow me to sleep. These experiences don’t even happen in the comfort of my own home oftentimes. My high school French teacher walked in on me vomiting in a school bathroom one time, and I once had to be carried out of school for being unable to even walk. The pain also makes me sensitive to sounds. Loud noises and even my own voice make the pain seem worse. I suffered through this for roughly three days every month for four years thinking that it was completely normal. My inadequate fifth grade sex talk never even mentioned any pain associated with menstruating, much less tell me that the debilitating pain was experiencing was abnormal. In my high school, periods were rarely ever talked about except for the occasional grumbling about bloating or moodiness, and I just assumed that my friends were better at hiding their symptoms or had a higher pain tolerance. There was nowhere to go for anything like this. My mother didn’t even think there was anything wrong with me. She just thought that I was over-exaggerating my pain because she had cramps, but she was still able to walk and live a relatively normal life. She thought I was putting on a show to avoid doing housework. Cases like mine aren’t rare. It is estimated that anywhere between 20 to 90 percent (depending on the study and the sample size) of women have dysmenorrhea. At least one out of every five women, if not more, experiences severe pain associated with her menstrual cycle. The worst part is that dysmenorrhea is incredibly treatable and incredibly manageable with anti-inflammatory medications or hormonal birth control, but so many folks who menstruate don’t even know they have it. They think that their experiences are normal. Today, I’m a happy and healthy college student, so thankful that I talked to my doctor about man-
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
aging my dysmenorrhea. My menstrual cycle no longer ruins my life, and I experience a normal cycle, just mild discomfort, no crippling pain. But talking to my friends about their menstrual cycles makes me realize the those who menstruate don’t have valuable information about their bodies, and they don’t even know it.
“The next generation... should not miss out on their lives due to a condition that is treatable and manageable.” This is why it’s so important to talk to young people about reproductive health, particularly about what is normal for a menstrual cycle and what is not. Mild discomfort is normal. Crippling pain is not. Vomiting is not. Sensitivity to sound is not. It’s also important to talk with people about what should normally be coming out of their bodies when they menstruate. While minor clotting is normal for a typical cycle, heavy or large clotting is not. These could be signs of more serious problems. These are things that were never covered in any reproductive health class and should be. It is time we get over our fear or our disgust for bodies with uteruses or whatever is barring us from teaching people about their bodies and educate the next generation so that they may make informed decisions for themselves and so that the quality of their lives may be much improved. The next generation should not normalize their crippling pain, and should not miss out due to a condition that is treatable and manageable. The next generation should be empowered to take control of their bodies.
April 20, 2017
FEATURES
Page 9
Stir-fry station a doorway to creative culinary expression Matt Stein
Features Editor
A
Before Matt Stein/The Miscellany News Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
After Matt Stein/The Miscellany News Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
fter two years of awkwardly passing by in shame, I finally used the Deece’s stirfry station. In a David-and-Goliath moment, I stood, pan in hand with assorted vegetables, noodles, tofu and cheese, while the sizzling vapors rose from the heated surface. In one sweet and swift move, I tossed my meal onto the station top and let it cook. And then I was making stir-fry. As a new novice of the stir-fry lifestyle, I can recommend others take this path as well. It’s a pretty simple process, to be honest. I just took handfuls of whatever looked appealing from the ingredients, put them on the pan and let the magic happen. The stir-fry station is a chameleon of instructions, with each attempt having its own different steps. In a basic, skeletal format, I will list them. First, collect the ingredients. A menagerie of options, you can have cheese, several different kinds of noodles, peppers and even add a few items from the salad bar if you’re feeling devious. Next, wait. Because of this popular staple to the Deece lifestyle, you won’t easily find a station available. One might be broken or some rookie might trip and spill their meal. Fortunately, I did not do that this time. Once you are at the station, adjust the temperature on the machine to your intended desire. I essentially approached the station and worked with whatever was already set, but you don’t have to be that reckless. Temperatures range from low to high, so choose wisely. Depending on the order you add your ingredients, the next step is to cook the food. Let it sit. Maybe take a spatula and stir it around for appearances while you casually check over your shoulder to see if anyone is watching this (or so the food won’t get stuck). Leave it as long or as little as you like. The next and quintessential step is transferring your food from pan to plate. Many have erred here but if you tilt the pan slowly and precisely, the meal should faithfully guide itself to
the plate. You may think all is said and done, but it is important to accede to the modus vivendi of the stir-fry life and clean up. Next to the stations is a wooden board where one can dispense of their used pan and spatula. Part of the stir-fry life is communicating with the others around you and ensuring that each person can freely and effortlessly use the space for their creative culinary masterpieces. The important and crucial element to a good stir-fry meal is to be patient. As delicious as food might be, you must cook everything properly. So wait until it at least looks safe. If you’re cooking meat (which I’m not, because I’m a vegetarian, thank you very much), be certain that the meat is cooked all the way through. That means that anything that looks bloody or raw is undercooked, unless that’s your thing. Like any good dish, there are ways to make a stir-fry meal with a touch of personality. While I was making my dish, I overheard some of the more experienced stir-fryers comparing the sauces they poured while their food was cooking. I went with balsamic vinaigrette, since it tastes marvelous on salad. It was definitely a unique experience to taste pasta that had been soaked in balsamic vinaigrette. With a million different ingredients though, you can individualize your dish to make it stand out from the rest. Since this was my first time using the stir-fry station, naturally I made a few faux-pas. Word to the wise, not all foods cook equally. After its rough-and-tumble with the stir-fry station, my pan had residue of the cheese and burnt olives I foolishly cooked too long. With most toppings that burn quickly, like cheese or olives, I would recommend adding these ingredients later in the process instead of in a smorgasbord of grub. I believe my meal was successful. I haven’t felt any stomach pain or food-borne illness symptoms. As I endeavor to increase my culinary expertize, now is the time to wonder what great heights to strive for, what new ingredients to use and what skills define a master chef. Maybe I’ll make eggs next time.
VSA urges Trustees to address VC’s exclusionary history STATEMENT continued from page 1
The 1st Senate of the Vassar Student Association declines to offer alternative wording for the Proposed Mission Statement. The pursuit of justice is essential, but that pursuit must be undertaken with an acute awareness of the unjust state of the present and the past. If the Mission Statement cannot acknowledge that Vassar is not and has not been a place that pursues diversity, inclusion, and equity, then the VSA Senate does not believe that it is productive to propose changes in wording. As proposed, the Mission Statement assumes that Vassar has been (or at least has attempted to be) a justice-oriented institution for the marginalized ever since its founding. It is true that Vassar was founded as a women’s institution, but it was founded as an institution for white, upperclass women. Obscuring this fact erases the institutional struggles of the very “underrepresented and disadvantaged groups” whom this statement purports to support. The College has not “pursue[d] diversity, inclusion, and equity” ever since its foundation, and the 1st VSA Senate, recognizing that any language which does not maintain the illusion would be rejected, declines to propose or endorse Mission Statement language saying that it has.
Courtesy of VSA
and artistic endeavor; a broad and deep curriculum; a community diverse in background and experience; and a residential campus that fosters a learning community.” Behind this decision was the Committee on Inclusion and Equity (CIE) and the Board of Trustees. For the past three years, revising language throughout the College’s governance with attention to issues of diversity, inclusion and equity has been a major priority of CIE. This spring, CIE formed a joint task force with the Trustees to focus on the revision of the mission statement. Professor of Physics and Astronomy David Bradley, who chairs the committee that has drafted these changes, explained the task force’s objectives: “[T]o more clearly articulate the College’s existing commitment to diversity, inclusion, and equity and…to serve as a vision for said work on campus.” Dean of the College and Professor of Education Christopher Roellke added in an email, “I believe the motivation [behind changing the wording of the mission statement] is to affirm how important diversity, inclusion and belonging to the community are to our core enterprise.” Once they drafted a new version of the mission statement, the Board of Trustees reached out to the Vassar Student Association (VSA) asking for critiques or endorsement of the updated statement. The VSA initially demonstrated interest in working with the Task Force to revise the language, and expressed concerns about the way in which the statement addressed Vassar’s history. Bradley states in an email, “I took these concerns seriously and asked the VSA President to work with the VSA Executive Board to draft some proposed mission statement language that might address these concerns...and give [the task force] a place to start in addressing them.” A subcommittee of VSA members worked to devise a diversity statement for consideration as an addition to the mission statement. The committee proposed to the Senate two possible
On Sunday, April 16, the VSA voted not to endorse the Board of Trustees’ proposed mission statement revisions. They instead resolved to submit the statement printed above. courses of action: the first was to offer different wording that acknowledges that Vassar has not always been a just institution; the second was to inform the Trustees that the mission statement seemed to primarily serve a superficial role, and that the VSA would not endorse a statement that is not self-critical. After careful consideration and much discussion, the VSA chose the second option, reasoning that it would have the most substantial impact on the Board. Chair of Equity and Inclusion Cecilia Hoang ’18 elaborated, “It’s certainly not a ‘safe’ or ‘moderate’ move because they are almost certainly not going to adopt what we’ve offered, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have to grapple with the perspective that’s being offered, one which attempts to complicate Vassar’s alleged support for diversity and equity, and own up to its reality.”
Bradley maintains that, “The truth is that Vassar has always been on a spectrum in its pursuit of these ideals, and still has a long way to go.” In the VSA Senate meeting on Sunday, April 16, many members expressed the concern that the Trustees have exceedingly different priorities and values than the general student body, and determined that a refusal to endorse the proposed revisions was the most effective way to communicate this to the Board. Chair of Academics JD Nichols ’17 stressed the importance of following what the VSA thought was best to do, rather than what they felt pressured to do, and stated that the second option was more consistent with their guiding principles. As Chair of Academics, Nichols was involved with the task force to restructure the College’s mission statement. The task force–comprised
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
of Nichols, faculty, administrators and trustees– was formed to more directly address diversity and inclusion in the mission statement. “I am still very invested in working with the TaskForce on this task,” Nichols said. “The problem with the wording as it stands now is that Vassar has not been historically accepting to all, but Vassar does not want to have an admission of past guilt in its Mission Statement and so text erases those who have been excluded in its line about history.” However, in the most recent Senate meeting VSA members expressed concern that the Trustees would not be receptive to their proposed changes to the mission statement. “If we were to submit language to the Task-Force qualifying Vassar’s history and saying that it was originally founded for white, upper-class women, those qualifiers would be cut out without a thought and the VSA’s feedback would be discarded in seconds,” Nichols remarked. “By passing a statement declining to provide them with language, we are not saying that no student input will be given to the Task-Force, we are instead saying that the VSA cannot, in good faith, endorse language that falls within the parameters of what the Trustees will accept.” The mission statement plays a central role in decisions made by the Board, the administration and the faculty. The task force will continue its close scrutiny and revision of the statement. Professor Bradley asserts, “Revising this statement would be an extraordinary move forward in our pursuit of diversity, inclusion, equity, and justice. A change of this magnitude requires collaboration and compromise from all stakeholders.” As the VSA Senate transitions into its second year, its members will work with the Board to continue to make Vassar a more equitable place, and hope to open lines of communication between the Senate and the trustees. By directly addressing issues of exclusion inherent in the College’s founding, the VSA intends to facilitate dialogue on diversity, inclusion and equity, and asks the Board to do the same.
FEATURES
Page 10
April 20, 2017
Org spotlight: Vassar Ballroom waltzes into spring Matt Stein
Features Editor
R
and there’s people. And dancing with people is just such a cool experience, to be able to connect to someone in that way with music.” Freshman and frequent Vassar Ballroom dancer Maiel Richards ’20 described the open community within the group. “There’s other dance groups on campus but this is such a casual low-commitment thing for people who want to learn different dances. It’s cool when they switch up dances and you have an opportunity to learn dances at different times of the year.” Vassar Ballroom has also recently started teaching lesser-known styles of ballroom dancing. Contra dancing is a folk style influenced by English country dance with an African influence. Accompanied by folk music, the dancers form a line and pair up, rotating
Courtesy of Vassar Ballroom via Facebook
emember how awkward social dancing was in middle school? Approaching a stranger and clumsily stepping on their feet and avoiding eye contact, it was not a pleasant experience. Then again, it was middle school and what wasn’t awkward? However, time has passed and hopefully healed those wounds. Dance is a liberating art. To freely twirl or step to a rhythm can be one of the joys of life. Even dancing in your room can be a good self-care. But how can you acquire such skills? The answer is Vassar College Ballroom Club, or Vassar Ballroom for short. Starting at a basic level, members learn all types of dance, from Waltz and Swing to Contra and other less-known social dances. Founded in 2006, Vassar Ballroom meets every Monday and Thursday for an hour of rehearsing. Their typical space is the Aula. Over the space of four meetings, Exec board members teach a dance in the style of their choice. “Typically what happens is that we will review basic steps from the previous meeting. And then we’ll teach a new step. For the last five or ten minutes, we’ll dance with music.” Exec Board member and frequent teacher Acacia Willis ’19 said. Whether you’ve strutted your stuff on the dance floor or embodied a wallflower at proms and weddings, Vassar Ballroom will welcome you with open arms. Many members began only with a whim to join. New members don’t need to show up to every meeting either. Each meeting begins with a review of the previous week’s steps, so nobody has to feel left behind. Exec Board member Leon Wang ’19 explained what hooked him into frequently attending and eventually joining the Exec board: “What I’m thinking is that, with the teaching style here, we always start from the very basic stuff to build people’s confidence. When I
was a freshman, I was super awkward. But my mom was telling me, ‘Son, if there’s one thing you cannot do, it’s dancing.’ So I got here and realized it’s not that difficult. And then soon I made friends here.” Vassar Ballroom teaches a variety of partner-based dances. The Lindy Hop, based on aviator Charles Lindbergh, and the Charleston, a popular dance from the 1920s, are staples of ballroom dancing. From bat mitzvahs to weddings and other social situations, it never hurts to develop these skills and wow your friends and relatives. “They’re all really sweet and welcoming. And it’s pretty casual. Anybody can do it whenever. Everybody’s really open to anyone coming. Dancing’s a lot of fun. There’s music
Vassar Ballroom accepts dancers of all experiences. Each week, members teach a variety of social dances, including Swing, Tango and Waltz. They also host Yule Ball in the fall.
ADVERTISEMENT
around their partner and alternating. Vassar ballroom teaches numerous styles of dance which vary depending on the interests of the members. Willis explained, “I love partner dancing of many forms, particularly swing. That’s what I teach. I teach swing, some Charleston and Lindy if I have the correct partner. Right now, I’m teaching Contra, which is the first time we’re teaching that in Ballroom.” Each semester, Vassar Ballroom presents an event. Most recently, they hosted Dancing with the Professors with assistance from VCTV, OnTap, HYPE and Bollywood Brewers. The event featured both students and staff dancing to a variety of dance styles. While there may be many dance groups on campus, Vassar Ballroom is unique. Willis elaborated: “It’s one of the only places that really focuses more classical styles of dance. A lot of the dance groups are contemporary or hip-hop or on a professional level. We’re the most beginning level group as well. Ballroom dancing is a very different atmosphere than Hype, for example. I don’t want to say it’s formal, because it’s not.” Back in December, Vassar Ballroom hosted the Yule Ball with the Vassar College Quidditch. The Harry Potter-themed event included performances from the Vassar Jazz Band and a midnight waltz by the Vassar Ballroom members. Besides teaching dancing skills, the org also provides a great opportunity to develop the social skills that are important to social dancing. Vassar Ballroom goes beyond just learning a the steps to a dance. Wang believes the group to be a wonderful place to make new friends: “At the beginning of the semester is when we have the most people. So in these dances, you have to approach someone. Every time you meet a new person, you get to go ‘Hi, nice to meet you. How are you?’ and it’s at the beginning of the semester so the friendships can continue.”
ADVERTISEMENT
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
9. Baseball hat 5. Follower of a non-major religion 6. Put these on and seem fancy 12. Better bassoon 13. A Buenos city in Argentina 7. Irish Republican Army (abbr) 15. Orthodox Church in America (abbr) 8. Related to favoring your family 16. Way of showing data using images members and symbols 9. Means of transportation April 20, 2017 10. Oak nut 18. Most popular egg-flavored 11. How a thesis is typically measured beverage 14. De-wooled a sheep 19. Carbonated beverages 17. Bad scents 20. Collected works of an artist 21. The noise I make when I fall off the 22. Quiet, or Pop's pal by Kim Carlson bed and Mackenzie Little 25. Negative prefix ACROSS 22. 32. Usually 12 in credits in a 26. Fertilizing organs 45. Eggshell,flower Off-White Kim __ around the windows nice weather 46. Silver onwho everyadmits cloud openly 34. Relating tofield duraof mater fluid around the concentrated study 27. Someone 1. Big dog noise! brain 48. Pulled by a needle 23. 35. Latin: "little grape" 29. Alternate name for Tweety Bird? 5. An indescribable and bad feeling, also what a Piece of research conducted and then 50. Old-timey way to spell premise 24. Someone who gave me a loan 30. 2007 film starring Ellen Page thesis causes published 52. Gardening tool laughed at by 9. Baseball hat 37. Almost-graduates middle schoolers 26. What to do to private documents 31. What we have to cite in a thesis 12. Better bassoon 40. __ the river and through the woods from 53. Crafty and Wily youthe don't want 33. Popular plugins block these from TAs to Cushing 13. A Buenos city in Argentina 54. __ the hills! (2 words) 28. 43. Noise made after turning thesis your 55. internet Get wrong information from ain text 15. Orthodox Church in America (abbr) How a cat shows contentment Place to exchange money 16. Way of showing data using images and 36. Oils 57. Plural “is” 29. 44. Giving theater prompts symbols 58. Long listmathematical of these goes at the end of a thesis 1 2 3 4 5 6 38. The most dessert 18. Most popular egg-flavored beverage 62. What your eyes do most of the time 39. Ringed pastry 19. Carbonated beverages 63. After finding a cross in her heart, Chiara’s 12 13 20. Collected works of an artist pals tried to make a __ 41. Sting, Manta, orher Sugar 22. Quiet, or Pop’s pal 64. Tiny quantity 42. Amends, but made online 25. Negative prefix 65. “___ on the side of caution” 16 17 45. Eggshell, Off-White 26. Fertilizing flower organs 66. Where lions sleep 27. Someone who admits openly 46. Silver every cloud 67. Noton here 19 29. Alternate name for Tweety Bird? 48. Pulled by a needle 30. 2007 film starring Ellen Page DOWN 50. Old-timey way to spell premise 22 23 24 25 31. What we have to cite in a thesis 52. Gardening tool laughed at by 33. Popular plugins block these from your 1. __-it, the popular toy internet 2. -Wan Kenobi, a personal fave 27 28 29 middle schoolers 36. Oils 3. The reslife office on the 4th floor of 53. Crafty and Wily 38. The most mathematical dessert Main, plural 30 31 32 54. __ the hills!when (2 words) 39. Ringed pastry 4. Produced the body breaks down fat 41. Sting, Manta, or Sugar for energy 55. How a cat shows contentment 36 37 38 42. Amends, but made online 5. Follower of a non-major religion 57. Plural "is" 6. Put these on and seem fancy Answers to last week’s puzzle58. Long of theseArmy goes at the end 7. Irishlist Republican (abbr) 41 42 43 of a thesis 8. Related to favoring your family members 9. Means of transportation 62. What your eyes do most of the time 46 47 10. Oak nut 63. After finding a cross in her heart, 11. How a thesis is typically measured 50 51 Chiara's pals tried to make her a __ 14. De-wooled a sheep 17. Bad scents 64. Tiny quantity 21. The noise I make when I fall off the bed 54 55 65. "___ on the side of caution" 22. Usually around 12 credits in a 66. Where lionsfield sleep concentrated of study 57 58 59 23. Latin: “little grape” 67. Not here
FEATURES
“Mack and Kim Write Senior Theses!”
35. Piece of research conducted and then published 37. Almost-graduates 40. __ the river and through the woods from the TAs to Cushing 43. Get wrong information from a text Page 11 44. Place to exchange money 47. International Monetary Fund (abbr) 49. Weird Al lives with one in a song 50. A green chalcedony 51. More rur 52. Writing a thesis __ my soul 55. onMonetary the east coast 47.-sylvania International Fund (abbr) 49.AWeird Al lives with one in a song 56. sailing dinghy 50. A green chalcedony 59. Archaic disgust exclamation 51. More rur 60. there 52.When Writingyou'll a thesisget __ my soul(abbr) 55. -sylvania on the east coast 61. When words come from your 56. A sailing dinghy mouth
The Miscellany Crossword
24. Someone who gave me a loan 26. What to do to private documents you DOWN don’t want 28. Noise made aftertoy turning in thesis 1. __-it, the popular 29. Giving theater prompts 2. -Wan Kenobi, a personal fave
62
63
59. Archaic disgust exclamation 60. When you’ll get there (abbr) 61. When words come from your mouth
7
8
9 14
10
11
34
35
15 18
20
21
26
33 39 44 48
40 45
49
52
53 56 60
61
64
65
66
67
© 2017 (Published via Across Lite)
Free menstrual products now available across campus “Project.Period was implemented across campus last Tuesday, and you can now find FREE menstrual products in nearly all buildings across campus! ... When in doubt, take note that products can be found on the 1st floor of all the academic buildings below... Project.Period is brought to you by the VSA Health and Wellness Committee.” - VSA President Calvin Lamothe via email on April 18, 2018
Charlotte Varcoe-Wolfson/The Miscellany News
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
HUMOR & SATIRE
Page 12
April 20, 2017
Breaking News From the desk of Evelyn Frick, Humor & Satire Editor Campus Advisory: Canadian geese by the lake are now smoking weed. Be advised that they have the munchies. The Misc News introduces: the super fake news in brief Chris Allen
Columbia School of Bad Journalism
H
oly cannoli! A lot happened in the news over this past week. How could anybody possibly keep track of it all? International conflict, controversial ad campaigns, personal plumbing accidents—sometimes, it’s all just too overwhelming. Here’s a handy little summary of all the important events that occurred in the United States and abroad, just to make sure you’re up to speed on everything. Speed? Did someone say speed? It was certainly not a slow news week, because Fate of the Furious, the 37th film in the Fast and Furious franchise, made 532 million dollars over the weekend. The action movie set a global box office record for the vroomiest international debut weekend ever. It is also the first film ever to feature Vin Diesel driving his car over an exploding submarine. It is based on a true story. A Nevada Twitter user, upon asking the Wendy’s Twitter account how many retweets would be required for him to receive a year of free chicken nuggets, was challenged by the fast food corporation to reach 18 million. This soon proved to be an impossible feat, with the retweet count currently slowing down near the all-time record, at around 3.1 million. But this failure didn’t stop the Nugget Boy, now an international superstar, from appearing on the Ellen DeGeneres show. Depending on how you choose to look at it, this is either an inspiring rags-to-riches story of a man who dared to ask for unlimited chicken nuggets, or the most frustrating case of undeserved, anyone-coulddo-that fame since the “Cash Me Outside” Girl. The local fire department responded quickly last week when Gracie Henderson of Houston, TX, reported that her left hand was stuck in her toilet. After arriving, the first responders removed the toilet from the wall so that they could deal with the matter outside. It must have been a very interesting sight for the neighbors. “Do you want us to break it?” asked one fireman, to which she nonchalantly replied, “Yeah! Well how else am I gonna get it out?” The fireman’s sledgehammer eventually freed her fist from its porcelain prison. Why Gracie’s hand was there in the first place, however, the world
may never know. It’s only a matter of time before Ellen DeGeneres rewards her bravery with a lifetime supply of plungers. A new scientific study revealed that mucus collected from certain species of frogs is effective in combating the flu. Frog mucus contains a certain peptide that wards off viruses associated with influenza, which probably explains why you have never seen a sick frog. The study is still in progress, and the researchers have not yet discovered how to get the frog peptides to attach to flu viruses in the human body. However, amidst the outbreak of a springtime epidemic on Vassar’s campus, it has been reported that numerous students have been seen tickling small amphibians, trying to induce sneezing. This week it was announced that Kevin Spacey will host the 2017 Tony Awards. Which makes sense, considering it seems that Kevin Spacey will be in anything these days. Seriously. Kevin Spacey is in “House of Cards” and was in “American Beauty,” and yet he also is in the movie “Nine Lives,” a children’s film in which Kevin Spacey is transported into the body of a cat named Mr. Fuzzypants. Why, Kevin Spacey? Why? You are a renowned actor, you do not need to do this. This past Monday, President Trump and the First Lady hosted their first egg roll at the White House. However, the Trumps, being completely unprepared, did not have dyed Easter eggs for the event. Instead, they spent millions of taxpayer dollars to buy two Fabergé eggs for the roll. While the event in the past usually has been a day filled with fun and activity for children, this year was a bit different. Due to the fragility and expensiveness of the eggs, the children could not roll them, but rather were made to stand silently on the White House lawn while they each got to look (but not breathe) on the decorative eggs. White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer reported that everyone had an “adequate” time. Breaking: Across the country, many people remembered it was Tax Day only after their spouses asked, “It’s Tax Day, have you submitted our taxes?” Also, a lot of things happened in politics. But who wants to hear about that?
Breaking up with winter proves to be icy and cold Kaitlin Prado Summer Queen
N
ow that cuffing season has more or less ended, I guess it’s only fair that, once and for all, I publicly break things off clean with my most recent committed relationship: Dear Winter, I’m breaking up with you. We had a good run. In fact, our relationship lasted way longer than I ever expected it to. But I have to end this—it’s only fair. I’m sorry if this makes things awkward since, you know, I had such a wonderful fling with Summer last year, and Autumn and I are still such great friends, but I’m sure they’ll still make time to see you for birthdays and solstices and stuff. I’m sorry that this may take you a bit by surprise, but I realized yesterday when I was in bed with the sun, that I straight up cannot stand being with you anymore! And if you’re wondering, here’s why: 1.You are so inconsiderate of my feelings.
Every year when I rekindle my friendship with Autumn, she can’t shut up about how excited she is for you to come back into town, and at first I believed her because when I met you briefly back in California you were so gentle and fun. But every time you come through the scenic Hudson Valley you literally take away the sun, and with it goes all of my motivation to do anything! Out of nowhere you went and gave me the coldest shoulder I’ve ever gotten, and all the sunlamps in the world couldn’t make up for it. 2. You’re in the way of me expanding my horizons.
Especially now that Spring is on their way back from JYA, I want to be free to have a picnic with them, rather than another day of board games and stress eating with you. At one point I thought I may enjoy the fact that you are my polar opposite, but I was completely wrong. I swear Winter, you make everything about you. Spring is kind and thoughtful and they bring me flowers and they actually want to hear what I have to say rather than just listen to my teeth chatter away. 3. You are way too controlling.
I never thought you’d be the kind of person
FALSE ADVERTISING
that needed to have a say in absolutely everything I do. Frankly, I don’t think it’s fair that you totally gutted my wardrobe from back when I was with Summer. She always thought that I looked good in a T-shirt dress and sandals. But you’re so weird about feet and modesty that I’ve been confined to heavy boots and baggy sweatpants for months. Plus, everything I do has to be on your whim. If you’re feeling too under the weather, suddenly I’m not even able to leave the house? I’m sorry Winter, but that’s not fair to me. 4. At the end of the day you’re just a boring white guy.
During our honeymoon phase you seemed new and exciting. Autumn always talked you up, but I realized after those first few beautiful nights of flurry—well, you’re just not fun. Newsflash: I don’t actually like shoveling snow with you—I faked it every time. I want adventure and good hot fun, but you just can’t offer me that. 5. You’ve completely changed my body.
I know there’s a trend on Twitter right now that’s all about #relationshipweight, and it’s where all of these girlfriends post before-and-after photos of the weight they’ve gained since being in a committed relationship. But a lot of those tweets are from young girls who are crediting boys for puberty. Whereas I’m a grown ass woman who’s gained at least 15 pounds since you rolled into town, and I’m so not here for that. I’m not some hibernating bear. Plus, I’ve never been this pale in my life, and it makes me feel like you don’t appreciate me for the happy tan girl I used to be—only this sick-looking chubby one you’ve turned me into. Now that I think about it, you’re even more controlling than I first realized. If it makes you feel any better, I guess it really isn’t you, it’s me! (I’m sure you’ll do better with someone is okay with your cold feet.) But please Winter, don’t call me, and don’t try that thing you always do where you just wait six months and beg for me to take you back. This is the last time I’ll fall for that one. Sincerely, Kaitlin. Oh, and I want all my baggy sweaters back.
Courtesy of Pexels
It’s late; you should go to bed! MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
HUMOR & SATIRE
April 20, 2017
Page 13
Harry Styles proves as hot, pretentious as ever in single Evelyn Frick
Future Mrs. Styles-Frick
Sign of the Times
Harry Styles Erskine / Columbia
D
HOROSCOPES ARIES
March 21 | April 19
TAURUS
April 20 | May 20
GEMINI
May 21 | June 20
CANCER
June 21 | July 22
LEO
July 23 | August 22
VIRGO
August 23 | September 22
but if there are bullets, you run from them. You don’t question it. My next complaint is not about the song itself, which I recognize may seem like a cheap shot... because it is a cheap shot. I’m petty, y’all. It’s about the cover art of the single. For those unfamiliar, the cover art includes a figure, presumably Styles, wading out into water with an ominous red sky. I’m a bit put off by the art for a few reasons. First of all, because Harry’s back doesn’t look realistic. Come on, Columbia Re-
Courtesy of Fiona McKinlay via Wikimedia
on’t get me wrong, I’d fuck Harry Styles. I’d fuck him hard. I’d fuck his voice. His voice is sultry and rough, how I’d like the sex to be. (And I’ve been a fan of Harry Styles throughout Haylor, so I feel like I have the right to say that.) I preface this article by saying that because I have a few complaints. Recently, Harry Styles posted three white pictures on his Instagram and everyone freaked the fuck out. Why must he be so pretentious? Why can’t he be like any other celebrity and fall off the face of the earth in between albums and then come back to relevance when his new music is leaked on Tumblr? Also, why do these damn white pictures have a combined 2,353,002 likes? My selfies on Instagram get an average 150 likes. And those have a real human in them! What’s up with that! (I hope you read the last sentence in a Jerry Seinfeld voice.) My next and bigger complaint is that Harry Styles’ single, “Sign of the Times.” I’m going to be real, I’m not a huge fan. Arts Editor of The Miscellany News Patrick Tanella said, and I quote, “You’re blacklisted” because of this opinion. But I will not be shut down. First of all, the song is five minutes and 42 seconds of the same lyrics over and over again. In my opinion, un-
less a song is getting crazy with key changes and surprise verses from Nicki, there is no reason it needs to five minutes. That’s longer than the national anthem for goodness sake, stop being extra Harry Styles. Did I mention the lyrics repeat again and again? You’re not my therapist, Harry, stop telling me to stop crying. That, and of course, asking us why we’re running from the bullets. You’re a British celebrity who dresses like a pirate, what could you possibly know about bullets? Also, just a good rule of thumb,
See this pic of Harry Styles? This is Harry Styles circa 2012. This is the Harry I signed up for. This cute little British boy with the dumb hair is what I wanted. Not the hip, mature guy he is now.
Time to give yourself a breast examine. While you’re at it, maybe get tested for everything, ya know? We’re not judging, it’s just generally good to make sure everything is squeaky clean, ya know? For everyone’s sake, ya know? Speaking of good hygiene practice, make sure you remember to floss. I always carry floss with me, so if you’re in need, hit a girl up. I just want to spread the gift of clean gums.
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder. Get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger. May you never take one single breath for granted. God forbid love ever leave you empty handed. I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean. Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens. And when you get the choice, to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance. Go off campus. You’ve been feeling restless lately and are in need of some adventure. There are so many places to go! Beacon! Bash Bish Waterfall! New Paltz! Visit the Visitor Center in Main, in the North Atrium for more information (it may be the South Atrium. Direction is relative, so who’s to say? Also, can someone give me a definition of “Atrium”?). Go wherever they tell the prospies to go. Let’s face it, Cancer, your life has been pretty dull lately. Somehow the craziness of post-Spring Break drama and school and illness that literally and figuratively plague the rest of the student body evades you. To add a little excitement to your life, get a radical new ‘do. Go for bangs. A perm. Side shave. Rat tail. You have so many choices. And honestly the best place to do it is your dorm’s shower stall. Reach out to a past lover. There was someone who got away. Don’t feel bad, it happened to Katy Perry too. But now is the time to rekindle that flame. Venus being in retrograde is bad for some signs’ love lives right now, but you are hot to trot. But don’t look at recent relationship failures. Really think back about someone who didn’t get a proper chance.
Be brave. Ask out your crush. That’s pretty scary, we know. But now is the time. Similarly to Leo, Venus’ position in the sky is really optimal for you right now. But we get it. Sometimes feelings are just. Too. Much. So there’s one other outlet for your bravery this week, and that’s to operate heavy machinery. It’s out there somewhere, you just gotta find it.
cords, stop the embellishing; Harry’s shoulders are not that broad. Perhaps they would be if he were wearing football padding. Basically though, what my complaints boil down to, is this isn’t the Harry Styles I signed up for. From the mysterious cover art to the bewildering lyrics, there are levels of nuance in every aspect of Styles’ music. There is something to be deciphered and something distant about the work. That’s not why I got on the Harry Styles rollercoaster. When Harry was in One Direction, he had a clearly defined brand. He wore bow ties, sang about love and said things in his stupid British accent. He was predictable. That’s all I needed. I was okay with him being in Pulitzer Prize winning Tiger Beat and getting a million weird tattoos because it was endearing. Now he’s just brooding and angsty and kinda greasy. If I needed that I would date any theatre major at Vassar. Or myself. Some argue that this is how he always was, and if that’s the case then I feel misled. As a teenager I barely knew how to function around boys, how was 14-year-old me supposed to know what was hiding underneath the surface of his luxurious curls? As I sit in the Misc Office now, I listen to “Sign of the Times.” (I am greatly outnumbered among other members of the editorial board who love this trash song.) And the more I listen to it, the more I actually like it... I must attempt to resist... dammit. In spite of the pretentiousness, I can’t resist Harry Styles’ voice. And his hair. And his face. And his body. Fuck. Fine. In any other review I would try to be less biased but I honestly don’t care that much. I give it three and half stars.
-Natasha Sanchez and Theresa Law
LIBRA
September 23 | October 22
SCORPIO
October 23 | November 21
SAGITTARIUS
November 22 | December 21
CAPRICORN
December 22 | January 19
AQUARIUS
January 20 | February 18
PISCES
February 19 | March 20
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Spice up your life. It’s time to try something new. Specifically, at the Retreat. Get yourself a breakfast sandwich with sausage on a bagel with honey mustard and chipotle sauce, and cheddar or pepper jack cheese. This funky fresh new go-to Retreat order was crafted by Peter Roumeliotis. If you see him this week, thank him but don’t say why. He’ll know. Last week was not the week for you, sensual Scorpios. Your sexiness was overwhelming. It’s time to channel that erotic energy into an appropriate medium– reality tv!!!!!! Apply to be on the Bachelor/Bachelorette (or Bachelor in Paradise!). If you’re more hardcore, make a sex tape and go the Kardashian route. This is the time to let everyone know what kind of Scorpio they’re really dealing with. Build yourself an empire. You know when snapping your fingers in a Z formation was a big deal? A bigger deal for you this week is walking with your friends in a V formation. Look to the geese for inspiration. This will really solidify your and your friends’ place on this campus as a ~squad~. Think carefully about who will be in the front of the V. It may seem like a power position, but they will get the most bugs in their face. Invest in stock. It’s never too early to start planning for the future. One day when the apocalypse comes and the internet crashes forever, you’re gonna be really glad you took some time in 2017 to invest in that little pig farm upstate. And yes, somehow, the stock market will still be running during the apocalypse. Don’t ask me how. Welcome to Trump’s America. Your creative juices are ~flowing~ this week. There’s only one appropriate outlet for the ideas gushing out of you: Create-a-Flavor chip contests. You’ll get to indulge all your senses– flavor symphonies, wafting scents, visual aesthetics of designing the proper bag (everyone who’s anyone in the chip world knows it’s all about the packaging), and the crisp feel of a chip breaking between your fingertips. Subscribe to Cosmo. We are sure that their horoscopes for the week hit the mark far more than ours do. If astrology is a science (shut up STEM majors, it is, let us have this), then we are high school students dabbling in it as our first science class that we weren’t forced to take. The Cosmo writers are finishing their dissertations and are about to get their Ph.Ds in star reading. Trust them more.
ARTS
Page 14
April 20, 2017
Poignant Philaletheis production depicts late-in-life love STITCH continued from page 1
element of this play was very minimal, with several lighting and sound cues. But each prop that entered the space and each shifting light produced a more impactful effect. Just as Edith and Harold’s relationship reminds us that time is fleeting and actions should be swift, the space echoed the value of what we may find banal or mundane. Hatch further spoke about the underlying truths that “Cross Stitch” tackles: “I think it’s important to be able to laugh at love as well because it’s taken way too seriously. I think that’s something we can learn from love between older people, that love can be simple and silly and taken not so seriously, as can most things in life. I think that’s an important takeaway, because life is so short and we’re all so unaware of our mortality in college.”
First-year student Sami Hodes, pictured above, depicted Edith in Philaletheis’ “Cross Stitch,” one half of an older couple who explore and challenge idealistic view of love and romance.
Courtesy of Cassie Jain
not super philosophical.” Rønning continued by explaining the reason for “Cross Stitch’s” minimal technical aspects: “We have three lights actually, because the focus of the show is on the words and the interaction between the two characters. We didn’t want a tech-heavy show at all, which is why we ended up asking for Sanders Classroom as the space.” At the heart of the play was the relationship between Edith and Harold. Koizumi and Hodes played characters that did not match their respective gender identities, but there never was a moment where you felt they were impersonating. Both their performances and dynamic were grounded on a truth. The two played off each other in a very raw and natural way, reflecting their characters’ developing and disintegrating relationship. One particular moment was when Edith shows Harold her messy apartment. In a nod to slapstick comedy, Hodes picks up the newspapers Koizumi keeps on scattering, each toss being followed with a yodeling tra-la-la. This image seems like such sheer absurdity when isolated from the rest of the play, but in the grand flow of the story, it fits. Milone raved about his favorite moment from the show, saying, “There was this beautiful moment that the director chose to do because it wasn’t in the original script, where Sarah threw these plastic balloons on stage.” “Then,” Milone continued, “with the plastic bag that the balloons were originally in, Sami and Atticus had a tug-of-war with the bag. There was beautiful music in the background and they were so into it. They looked so angry and violent. It made me cry. I don’t think it was supposed to make me cry but it was so relatable. It was just very symbolic.” As the lights slowly fade on Harold sitting on a park bench, the audience sees a stage in disarray. Almost as turbulent as their relationship, we see popped balloons, newspaper and flour en masse, draped in chaos around what before was a contrastingly empty stage. The technical
Courtesy of Cassie Jain
have to buy it and you’re not sure you’re going to like it. I’ve read most of his plays and this one stuck out to me in this moment. In my first year in college, I’ve thought a lot about how quickly my life is going. And it’s about old people and how fast their life has passed them by.” Despite the grim premise of the play, “Cross Stitch” is actually heavily comedic. To subtly hint at this, the program says, “[D]irector’s note: this is a comedy[,] please laugh[.]” Handling such a heavy topic can be a mammoth task to attempt, but Hatch and the “Cross Stitch” team glide with ease over fragile ice. The comedy is so well timed that as Edith and Harold muse over their pasts, even a simple sigh can produce laughter from the audience. Audience member Marc Milone ’20 reflected on the brevity of the show: “Honestly, because it was short, I don’t think the point of it was to technically tell a complicated and elaborate story but to pull the audience in with these characters. I just think it was a very relatable and empathetic show that a lot of people could see and have experienced. And the acting was phenomenal.” This production takes several aspects of Mee’s original play while adding its own unique touch. One of the notable distinctions is having Sarah Noschese ’17 sing Elvis Presley’s “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” Through sweet montages that breathe from the same lungs as a rom-com, Edith and Harold playfully toss flour at each other under the veil of Noschese’s crooning. A tender moment that is almost cinematic in nature, it’s this truth and universality that makes such a familiar scene so simple, profound and beautiful. “The American view of romance, and maybe the British as well, is so heavy and do-or-die like ‘Romeo or Juliet,’ and it’s not that much in other places,” Rønning stated, describing the dichotomy found in the play’s take on romance. “It’s a lot more casual. It’s not a lover; it’s a life partner. I think this really shows the conflict between each of the two ideologies, in a fun way that’s
The Philaletheis Society presented “Cross Stitch,” a performance of Charles Mee’s “First Love,” this past Friday and Saturday, starring Atticus Koizumi ’20 and Sami Hodes ’20, above.
Professor, art majors to present Loeb’s hidden treasures Sasha Gopalakrishnan Reporter
E
very Thursday, the Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center holds extended gallery hours from 5 to 9 p.m., an event known as Late Night at the Loeb. The Art Center almost always holds art events during these Late Nights. On Thursday night, April 20, the Loeb has two programs running parallel to each other. The first event will be a faculty talk at 5 p.m., given by Professor of Anthropology and Latin American & Latinx Studies David Tavárez on Mesoamerican artifacts that are currently on display and will be up until April 23. The second event is part of an Art Talks program that is spread out across three consecutive Late Nights in April. During this program, Art History majors discuss a work in the galleries or brought up from the vault, in relation to their theses. At this week’s event at 6:30 p.m., Zoe Lemelson ’17 will
deliver a 20-minute talk on a work by contemporary photographer Doug Rickard that is on display in the Project Gallery. The pre-Columbian pieces that Professor Tavárez will discuss are part of an exhibition that includes an eclectic group of ceramic and stone objects produced across several time periods, from the Late Formative and Early Classic to the Classic and Early Postclassic. These artifacts were associated with temples, tombs, ball courts, private residences and everyday life activities from West, Central and South Mesoamerica and the North American Gulf Coast. Some of the featured works are from the Loeb’s museum collection while others are recent gifts or on loan from private collections. Tavárez explained what the focus of his talk will be. As he stated, “I will introduce the significance of these pieces for a contemporary audience, stress what we know about the daily life, social order and religious organization of
Michael Chung/The Miscellany News
On Thursday, Late Night at the Loeb will feature a talk by art history major Zoe Lemelson ’17 and a presentation by Professor David Tavárez about Mesoamerican artwork, such as the pieces above.
Mesoamerican societies, and outline their importance for a full understanding of indigenous cultures in the Americas before European colonization.” Regarding what interested him about the works, he continued, “Many of the pieces capture small details of how these distant ancestors saw themselves, from the grimace of an elderly fire deity or the elaborate mask worn by a priest who personified a deity of rain and thunder, to a touching representation of maternal love, or a display of a public feast with families, children and dogs.” “Now more than ever,” he continued, regarding the particular reasons for exploring this artwork in our era, “these figures show the importance of understanding and rediscovering the original peoples of the Americas, which have deep routes that tie them to a land subsequently claimed by many other peoples.” The subsequent talk by Lemelson on Doug Rickard will focus on the new strides this contemporary artist is taking, especially in his genre of American documentary photography. “Rickard took images from Google Street View, and appropriated them,” Lemelson elucidated. “I will talk about one of the photographs that is part of this series. It was shot in New York City, and it has a lot of nuances. I really love this work because it intersects American documentary photography with issues of surveillance, race and class, all captured through Google Street View. It’s a pretty intelligent work if you dissect it.” Ryan Holguín ’17, a member of the Loeb Student Committee and also an Art History major who will be giving an Art Talk next Thursday, April 27, expressed her opinion on the value of the talks: “So much material is illuminated through the independent research of students ... We are fortunate to have an incredible collection that is coupled with fantastic scholarship waiting to be discovered in the files and then communicated to the public ... Every senior acts as an author by telling the story of each artwork in a unique narrative, which is why it is so valuable to attend the talks in person.” During last week’s Art Talk, on April 13, Nikki
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Lohr ’17 and Matthew McCardwell ’17 presented on works related to their respective senior theses. Lohr spoke about Mark Rothko’s “No. 1” while McCardwell discussed a Jacob Lawrence lithograph on display in the Project Gallery. According to Holguín, “There was a great turnout with community engagement and a fascinating discussion of the works.” Next week, on April 27, Rosa Bozhkov ’17 will discuss two works by Philip Guston, “The Actors I” and “Inside Out,” while Holguín will discuss a Baron François Gérard drawing, “The Sacrifice of Iphigenia.” Curator of Academic Programs at the Art Center Elizabeth Nogrady collaborated with the Curator of Public Education as well as the Loeb’s Student Committee to organize these talks. She shared her perspective on the program: “I love it when both students and faculty use and research the works in the collection. The Art Talks are an opportunity for the students to share some of the really great research they are doing with their peers, with the larger public and with us too!” “In addition,” she continued, “since the students examine the works in relation to their theses, the talks are very illuminating from rather unexpected angles.” For example, last week Nikki Lohr looked at how the CIA undertook abstract expressionism to forward America’s agenda during the Cold War, in relation to the Jackson Pollock—a very unconventional, interesting take. With regard to the interest for students in presenting these talks, Nogrady stated that they don’t necessarily retain the same depth of knowledge or interest they gained while doing their theses once they have completed and submitted them. “When a student is doing research, there comes a specific point in the midst of it when one completely masters their topic,” Nogrady stated. “The total understanding that one feels when they are utterly caught up in the research process is fleeting, and I think it’s a really great moment for the students as well as the audience when the speakers can share what they know, especially at that transient stage of the process.”
April 20, 2017
ARTS
Page 15
Barefoot Monkeys show off their creativity, acrobatics MONKEYS continued from page 1
Courtesy of Stacey Gilbert
each choreographer first works within their individual groups to plan their specific acts. Then in the week leading up to the show, the Monkeys come together to run fire practices. “Most fire practices are only for 1-2 hours, but leading up to a show we could be out there for 4-5,depending on what we need to do to get the show ready!” Ventresca commented. There is also a certain level of stress involved in putting together the fire shows because of the element of danger. However, the Monkeys make sure to maintain a positive attitude. As this semester’s team captain commented, “Since I’m partially in charge of fire safety, there’s always one or two stress dreams towards the beginning of the week where I’m freaking out about everything that can go wrong, but by the end I’m always confident that everyone can handle it.” Frazier agreed with Ventresca that while putting the show together may be stressful, it is okay to acknowledge that not everything will be perfect. As he said, “Obviously things aren’t always going to go like you hoped, but that’s true of any performance.” In addition to their can-do mindset that helps pull the shows together, the team also puts significant emphasis on fire safety. The Monkeys pride themselves on having one of the “strictest and safest fire regulations of any group fire performance troupe in the nation,” according to Frazier, and they’ve had only one major accident in the history of the team. For instance, at the shows, the Monkeys have people standing by with fire retardant blankets. While practicing, members are encouraged to perform their acts without fire if they feel tired or stressed out. In addition, they go through a rigorous training process before they can be approved to work with fire. Frazier said, “People who want to spin fire have to attend a fire safety seminar every semester. Before doing any move on fire, you have to get it cleared by one of the ‘Keepers
The Monkeys put in extensive time and effort to prepare for their performances, especially those involving fire, since safety is a plus. It’s all worth it, though, as audiences flock to their shows. of the Flame.’” “Keepers of the Flame,” or “Keepers,” as the Monkeys call them, are the leading upperclassmen of the club that have been performing with fire for the longest time in the group.. The performance this past Saturday highlighted a diverse array of music and choreography, and the crowd responded enthusiastically to the different acts. One onlooker Amelia Carriere ’20 commented, “The Jedi fire fight to the Darth Maul theme towards the end was wildly entertaining. The force is strong in the Barefoot Monkeys.” Jasmine Rodriguez ’19, who choreographed an act to a Spanish-language song said, “I was actually afraid nobody would sign up, but then I got such amazing people to be in my act. I really like all the partner staff and partner flow wand I
added, because I think it’s super adorable.” The Monkeys on the whole foster a lot of experimentation among their members, and they often incorporate interesting music and themes that surprise audiences at their shows. “We want people to get as creative as they want,” Frazier added. While the Monkeys practice constantly and care deeply about safety, this hard work is ultimately how they have fun. “Honestly the most fun part is probably having rehearsal every night with the cast, we always get to bond over the course of the week and become better friends as a result,” Ventresca commented. Rodriguez agreed that the collaborative work combined with the team climate is what makes the Barefoot Monkeys such a fun-loving organization. “I was able to find such good friends
in the Monkeys. We are all really supportive of each other and are all about just having a good time.” In fact, the team is like a big family, and older members love seeing novice Monkeys members become more confident in their abilities. Frazier commented, “The most fun for me has been seeing our new spinners progress. We had freshmen who didn’t know a thing at the beginning of the year who are now choreographing and running their own acts! I’m so proud of them.” As such, essentially anyone who is interested can join the group, which remains very open and inclusive toward anyone who might want to get involved.. “Our group doesn’t have a strict hierarchical structure. We let anybody come to any playtime (our rehearsals) they want, and we choreograph acts in our shows for every skill level,” Frazier said. The openness is a definite staple of the club and is an essential reason for why the group is constantly innovating and producing creative and new routines. They give space for everyone who has something to contribute, an ingredient that certainly makes for a great show. The team president herself first joined for these reasons. As Ventresca commented, “Personally, I kind of joined the club on a fluke. One day I was sitting around bored and heard them making a ton of noise on the quad, so I went out to see what all the fuss is about. Somehow I ended up getting sucked in as a result!” “But what really drew me to the club,” she continued, “is the fact that anyone can choreograph or add to the shows. I’ve learned a lot through leading rehearsals and found that I love being a part of the process that creates a show!” Keep an eye out for the next Barefoot Monkeys show, and if juggling fire peaks your interest, don’t be shy. Frazier says, “I just want to reiterate that our open rehearsals are just that—open. Anyone can show up any time to learn.”
Harry Styles marks solo debut with ‘time’-less track Patrick Tanella Arts Editor
Sign of the Times
Harry Styles Erskine / Columbia
O
someone special, Styles impressively strays away from this platform while still appealing to his fan base. This ode to classic rock has the depth that Zayn failed to achieve in “Pillowtalk.” While it has only been out for a few days, I am confident that it will not quickly disappear. Rather, this will eternally serve as a comparison to his years in One Direction, his first album and subsequently the rest of his promising career both as an artist and as an actor. With “Sign of the Times,” Styles really does it all. He is able to showcase his impressive vocals, steer away from his previous sound and set precedent for the rest of his album and career as a solo artist. I immediately made everyone that I knew listen to it and experience this greatness for themselves. When I first mentioned that Harry Styles had released a new song, everyone gave me an “Are you kidding me, I’m not going to listen to that!” look. Yet, after hearing the track, one friend tex-
ted me the next day saying that it was all she could listen to. If you hate anything and everything associated with the band One Direction, I urge you to give this song a listen. It might surprise you. The sole reason that I did not give Styles’ song the golden five stars is spite. I’m still mourning One Direction and their breakup, and I will not be generous with my ratings of any solo tracks or albums until I have bought a front row seat to their reunion tour. I am still regaining my voice from going to back-to-back shows three years ago. I really have invested too much of my teenage years defending and glorifying this band to all who will listen, but I’m not about to apologize now. Styles has demonstrated his capability as a solo artist with “Sign of the Times,” and I cannot wait to hear the beauty that will accompany his record. So stop your crying and listen to the song of the times!
Courtesy of E! Online
n March 25, 2015, I received my acceptance letter from Vassar and was overwhelmed with happiness. Yet that same day, the heartbreaking news that Zayn had left One Direction, the most successful boy band of all-time, left the world and me devastated. Fans around the world mourned this news as if it were the death of a family member because, in its own way, this marked the beginning of the end of the band. A band that I had loved unabashedly ever since I heard the infamous song “What Makes You Beautiful” during my freshman year of high school. Exactly a year later, Zayn released his solo debut album, “Mind of Mine,” which achieved critical and social acclaim. Now, around a year later, Harry Styles debuted his monumental first solo single, “Sign of the Times.” March 25 has been a significant date in my personal life and in the music industry, and Styles’ debut solo single illustrates tremendous growth in both range and style from his years in One Direction. Harry Styles has always been the most popular band member. This is an undisputed fact by all, and I am sure Styles is aware of it himself. His charismatic nature combined with mesmerizing curly hair has made him one of the most sought-after bachelors in the world. Due to his undeniable fame, Styles could have dropped anything and it would have debuted in the Top 10 on the Billboard Charts, no matter how terrible it was. When I first saw the track’s cover art and release date on his Twitter, I was honestly expecting a three-minute, auto-tuned mess. Zayn’s debut single, “Pillowtalk,” topped the charts for weeks, and while it showcased his range and newfound style as a solo artist, it completely
lacked depth. It was clearly made for Top 40 charts. Yet I didn’t blame Zayn for going in this direction. While his album as a whole better exemplified his capabilities, “Pillowtalk” was still a disappointment to an avid fan of One Direction and pop music. Before I listen to new music, I try to be in a headspace where I can fully take in the song and all of its complexities. Thus, I grabbed a coffee and a muffin from the retreat, and sat down in a silent Rose Parlor on a cold Friday morning. As I braced myself for a similar sound to that of Zayn’s, I pressed play on Styles’ track. I immediately noticed that it didn’t sound like anything produced by One Direction. His normally powerful, commanding voice sounded vulnerable and fragile. As Styles choked out, “Just stop your crying it’s a sign of the times. Welcome to the final show / I hope you’re wearing your best clothes,” there is an essence of the sublime in the terrifyingly beautiful nature of his vocals. I was truly blown away. The five-minute, 41-second track is a rollercoaster that you never want to get off of. It starts off slow and builds up into a powerful chorus that showcases Styles’ vocals, which are accompanied by classic rock instrumentals. There is a sense of cataclysmic ecstasy in the percussive sounds that preclude the chorus, which easily is my favorite part of the song. The track then once again shifts, with Styles belting “We’ve got to get away” for the last minute. After it finished, I took a second to pause, collect myself and then pressed repeat. The song is a journey, one that I am very willing to take with Styles. Its journey details his avoidance of coping with emotions, which is something many people grapple with each day. Toward its end, he says, “We don’t talk enough, we should open up / before it’s all too much. Will we ever learn? We’ve been here before. It’s just what we know.” Styles continues to throw out everything you could ever want from a song. The only thing that could make it even better would be hearing it live. From someone who sings about what makes girls beautiful or the little things that make
Harry Styles recently debuted his first single as a solo artist, “Sign of the Times.” The track strays away from his sound while in One Direction and sounds mature and confident in his bravado.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
ARTS
Page 16
April 20, 2017
‘13 Reasons Why’ should focus on mental health, not love Lucy Ellman Columnist
13 Reasons Why
Brian Yorkey Netflix
[Trigger warning: This review discusses mental health, suicide, self-harm and sexual assault.] Reasons Why,” a continuation of wellmade Netflix original shows, brings the popular book to life. It has decent acting, a compelling if not gimmicky narrative and, for the most part, it succeeds in avoiding the more cringe-worthy dialogue often found in the young adult television genre. For a program aimed at teens that tackles issues so often ignored or glossed over by other mainstream productions, “13 Reasons” does not shy away from controversy. In fact, the show runs headfirst into more easily contested subject matter, those topics that are normally mentioned in passing to then be tucked away and forgotten about before it can do any damage. Yet, despite having 13 hour-long episodes and 13 chances to convince me that the team behind the Netflix program understood the task ahead of them and the importance of creating a teen-centric show that tackles issues of mental health and depression, “13 Reasons Why” left me cold. But mostly angry. Like a lot of people my age, I read the novel “Thirteen Reasons Why” (on which the 2017 Netflix series is based) when I was in eighth grade. I’ll admit, I don’t remember very much. I remember liking it, and I believe I was moved by it, though I may not have fully understood why Mostly I remember the gimmick, and it is an effective one. Both the novel and television show follow the same basic plot, in which one day Clay Jensen, a shy and quiet high school student, finds a shoebox full of cassette tapes left at his doorstep. Each
Courtesy of Angie Bowen via Flickr
“13
The Netflix original series “13 Reasons Why” details the story of Hannah Baker through listening to tapes she recorded before her suicide. It lacks in its discussion of mental health and resources. tape contains a recording from Clay’s classmate, Hannah Baker, detailing the 13 reasons why she decided to take her own life. Each reason takes the form of a person, and before her death, Hannah left strict instructions that the tapes must be passed along and listened to in full by each person she names. While it might seem odd to critique the novel since the show shares much of the same basic plot structure, this is exactly the source of one of the series’ major problems. While Hannah herself narrates the tapes, in the end, it is not about her. Her suicide is simply a vehicle to delve into the complicated and messy lives of her classmates, who all get to tell her story. While on the one hand this makes for interesting and somewhat innovative television—and ”13 Reasons” has some of the most fully-realized high school characters
I’ve seen in a long time—it also misses the point. In a show about a young girl’s suicide, she is entirely forgotten. The reasons are more important than Hannah herself, and as she is left behind, so are conversations regarding mental health that are necessary to making a show like this work (in all thirteen episodes I don’t recall any). Mental health cannot be left out of the equation, and pretending that “if we were all just nicer to one another no one would be depressed” only further harms young adults already struggling for someone to understand what is going on in their head. Furthermore, when “13 Reasons” decides to tackle these serious issues, it is entirely for shock value. My high school health class ran under the “scared straight” rule. Instead of educating us on a topic, we would slog through countless images of gruesome STD slides or watch “The Miracle
of Life” in full. Watching “13 Reasons,” I couldn’t help but think the creators of the show were following this tactic. In addition to a series of exceedingly explicit scenes depicting violent sexual assault, the scene that perhaps defines the issue is that of Hannah’s suicide, shown in full over three excruciating minutes. It is unnecessarily detailed, gruesome and impossible to watch. It goes beyond capturing the emotions of a scene and becomes something far more sinister and utterly pointless. I ask myself, who is the audience? What purpose does this scene serve? We as an audience know what happens and understand how Hannah’s story will end. All the scene does is add more shock to an already-shocking situation. Furthermore, for those whom the show claims it wishes to help, the scene is entirely alienating and could very well constitute a serious triggering incident for practically anyone who suffers with depression or has had thoughts of suicide. Hannah Baker isn’t a person as far as the show in concerned, she is a trope. What could have been a complex character struggling with mental health in compelling and innovative new ways is instead thrown by the wayside in order to abide by the standard gorgeous, witty-with-a-dark-side, YA heroine. Her relationship with Clay shows it best. Throughout the series, Clay is distraught, wracking his brain trying to understand why he is on these tapes. The writers paint Clay as a pretty nice guy, and we find out over the course of the series that Clay and Hannah in fact had feelings for each other and once got together, before a series of (convoluted) events forced them apart. Then, in the biggest cop-out in history, it turns out that Clay isn’t a “reason why.” In fact, he was the only person on the tapes who actually made Hannah feel good about herself and think that life was worth living. All she needed was saving, which is a problematic relationship dynamic to show to young audiences. Rather, it should focus on mental health and not the love-conquers-all trope.
Joey Bada$$ presents engaging, critical view of America Jimmy Christon Columnist
ALL-AMERIKKKAN BADASS
Joey Badass Cinematic Music Group
D
next level. Joey’s play on “As-Salaam-Alaikum” at the beginning of his verse is so simple and borderline playful that it brings an incredible amount of hype to an already energetic track, which the album keeps up until the end. I think another strength of this album that pushes it well above other hip-hop releases this year is how complete it feels. Coming off of reviewing Drake’s “More Life,” which was composed mostly of filler, “ALL-AMERIKKKAN BADA$$” sounds heavenly with its conciseness. Everything on this album is there for a reason, and every track—even the more energetic hype tracks—appeals to the theme of an “Amerikkkan” identity developed over the course of the album. No, it’s not a concept album, but Joey explores the complex nature of what it means to be an American, especially for people of color. Not only does this commentary have depth, many of his one-liners, such as “still spell amer-
ikkka with the triple k,” constitute a passionate and engaging entry into difficult and nuanced topics. That’s why you get so many songs on this album that, despite their relaxing vibe, are actually pretty somber. Songs like “Y U DON’T LIKE ME (MISS AMERIKKKA)” and “LAND OF THE FREE” paint a picture of the world for what it is, and if you were to take it on lyrics alone, it would be a pretty heavy song. These tracks, however, still maintain a sense of optimism. Even the cover design for the album projects a bright tone, and the music mirrors this attitude. Despite how easy it would have been to make this album feel hopeless and dreary, Joey Badass instead opts for a hopeful—though necessarily critical— look at the world around us. It’s a testament to Joey Badass as an artist that he can tie this feeling of hope and brightness into an album that’s all about the messed-up world we live in.
Courtesy of kmeron via Flickr
on’t sleep on this album! I know a new Kendrick Lamar album came out—and I know it’s fantastic—but “ALL-AMERIKKKAN BADA$$” is one of the most competent hiphop albums to be released since Danny Brown’s “Atrocity Exhibition.” And while I don’t think “ALL-AMERIKKKAN BADA$$” is as boundary-pushing as the other albums, I do think that it’s a solid album front-to-back. Joey Badass is a Brooklyn rapper who, until recently, was known for his boom-bap revivalist-style hip hop. I have pretty fond memories of listening to his “1999” mixtape when it came out a while ago, and the style he was going for on that mixtape was improved upon with his commercial debut “B4.DA.$$.” These projects had Joey Badass tackling beats from J Dilla, MF DOOM and production from his own collective Pro Era, and really knocking it out of the park. The beats were chill, and the verses were dense. What we got from this combination was a love letter to boom-bap hip-hop and an enjoyable one at that. That’s why I got nervous and excited when I heard that Joey was going to be moving away from this boom-bap style. Thankfully, I think this switch-up in styles wasn’t only successful but felt like the natural form of progression for Joey. So what makes this album great? Well let’s start with the cover and title. “ALL-AMERIKKKAN BADA$$” features Joey Badass with reclining half of his body out of a run-down car, American flag sticking off the windshield. Joey’s expression is fascinating, and the censored middle fingers are great. I’m dumbfounded to find any sort of statement from this picture, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t just drip energy. It’s like Joey telling us
“fuck what you heard, you’re getting what I’m selling.” And then there’s the title: “ALL-AMERIKKKAN BADA$$.” You can tell what the subject of this album is going to be. You know it’s going to be political and social, and you also know it’s about a badass. This mix of individual braggadocious bravado with a social edge is a good way to describe this album. As I see it, the album as a whole is split into two halves, with the song “DEVASTATED” acting as its centerpiece. The first half is very laid back and wordy, including great tracks like “LAND OF THE FREE” and “FOR MY PEOPLE.” I love how synth-heavy these tracks are, and how well Joey sings over them. They are without a doubt catchy, despite not being the brightest songs. This first half is probably my favorite part of this album, and not because the second half drops the ball either. And then we get to the track “DEVASTATED,” which I was conflicted about. It seemed to reside in this no-man’s-land of hype. To use another Kendrick comparison, this song felt like it was trying to be a watered down version of “Alright.” But the more I listened to this track, the more it’s grown on me, and the more what originally looked like weaknesses have become my favorite aspects of this song. The verses might be a little more subdued and soft, but the hook is an earworm and never fails to explode in energy that really comes out of nowhere. And it works so well with the beat: The cool, shimmering ambient noise that goes throughout the track works greatly with Joey’s slightly auto-tuned vocals and ricocheting drum. And then we get the second half of the album, whose songs are a little bit more high-energy. But more importantly, Joey is able to maintain the quality of the first half of the album. Some of my favorites are “ROCKABYE BABY” and the posse-track “RING THE ALARM.” There’s so much going on in the beat in “ROCKABYE BABY” that the instrumental itself is worth the listen, but then Joey Badass and Schoolboy Q come in and push this track to the
Joey Bada$$’s newest release, “ALL-AMERIKKKAN BADA$$,” explores a critical yet wholly engaging and optimistic view of current American social issues through catchy beats.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
ARTS
April 20, 2017
Campus Canvas
A weekly space highlighting the creative pursuits of student-artists
Page 17 submit to misc@vassar.edu
Excuse me, What would you resurrect if you could?
“Emperor Palpatine” — Stephen Kpundeh ’19
“Leonard Nimoy” — Xuewei Zhao ’19
“King Tut” — Patrick Higgins ’18
“Jesus, just so I could say that I did it” — Kimmie Nguyen ’18
“Szechuan Sauce” — Nick Loud ’21?
Everywhere and anywhere I go—and as many of my friends can attest to—I’m taking pictures. Because of this “addiction,” sometimes people complain that I should put my phone away, in order to be more “in the moment.” However, for me, it’s the opposite. I find that taking photos makes me more attuned to my surroundings, as it prompts me to examine the world in a more critical, yet beautiful, way. And I’m grateful for what my major, Art History, has taught me, since it has really transformed the way in which I see—and thus experience—the world. —Hannah Nice ’18 (she/her/hers) Hannah is Assistant Social Media Editor for The Miscellany News.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
“Eleanor Roosevelt—I think she would be an intersectional feminist.” — Charlotte Benoit ’20
Evelyn Frick, Humor & Satire Editor Micheal Chung, Assistant Photo
SPORTS
Page 18
April 20, 2017
Baseball rewrites history: first sweep of top-ranked Union Kelly Pushie
Guest Reporter
T
he Vassar men’s baseball squad had a historic weekend, sweeping the Liberty League’s top ranked Union Dutchmen 4-0 for the first time in Vassar baseball history. Prior to this weekend, the Brewers were ranked last in the Liberty League with a record of 0-5. This would soon change, however, thanks to some solid play on both the offensive and defensive ends of the field, which propelled the Brewers over the Dutchmen. VC started the weekend off on the right foot with a nail-biting 4-3 win on Friday. Union was first to get on the board, but Vassar answered right away. With a left-center drive from sophomore Taylor Smach, Vassar brought in two runs from freshmen Matt Martino and Daniel Bonfiglio. After a stalemate of three innings, Union scored two more runs to give them a 3-2 advantage. Then in the bottom of the sixth, the Brewers got off to a rocky start, producing a fly out and a strikeout to put the squad in a two-out hole. This did not deter the team, however, as the Brewer’s bats came alive with a single up the middle from Freshman Evan Trausch and a single from Martino. The Brewers then caught a break as an Union error allowed run-
ners to push to second and third base. With two outs and runners on second and third, Bonfiglio produced a huge hit down the left field line that gave the Brewers a 4-3 lead with only one inning left. In the top of the seventh, senior pitcher Adam Erkis, who has been consistent all season, secured the win for Vassar. The second game on Friday was won with a bigger margin for the Brewers thanks to a huge spurt of runs scored in the fifth. The Brewers started out the game with Freshman Jake Silver on the mound. Union was the first to score, with two runs brought in during the top of the first. The Brewers were able to answer and score on a sac-fly from Trausch that drove in junior Matt Hernandez. In the fourth, the Brewers found themselves in a tight situation. Union had loaded the bases and there was only one out. Head Coach Matthew Righter made a call to the bullpen and sent in junior John Madsen. Madsen was able to produce a strikeout and force a fly out to get the Brewers out of the inning unscathed. After this, the Brewers hit their stride. Trausch slammed a shot to left-center, driving in three runs and putting the Brewers up 5-2. The final run of the game would come from a Union error that pushed the lead up to four for the Brewers.
Courtesy of Carlisle Stockton
Senior Denis Shanagher steps up to the plate, waiting for the perfect pitch. Shanagher launched a ball past the Union Dutchmen to earn a grand slam last weekend and secure the team’s victory.
Sophomore Bryan Rubin closed out the final three innings of the game to close out the day for the Brewers, who had two wins huge under their belts and a lot of confidence heading into the second double header of the weekend. Saturday morning, the squad put up 10 runs to bring home the victory. Throughout the game, Vassar only recorded eight hits, but they made them count. The game was highlighted by a grand slam from senior Denis Shanagher in the fourth inning to help the Brewers pull away with the game. Vassar got off to a great start, with Hernandez on base off a walk, and junior Bobby Kinne ripping a two-run homer to get the game going. Martino would answer with a shot down the right field line to send in another two runners. Then with three runs from Union, the Dutchmen decreased their margin to 3-4. However, Shanagher quickly shattered Union’s hopes for a victory. With two walks and a single from Kinne to load the bases, Shanagher stepped up to the plate and blasted his grand slam to pull VC up 8-3. The Brewers and Dutchmen both scored two more runs to finish out the game with a final score of 10-5. Vassar starter junior Trent Berg secured the win for the Brewers on the mound. In the final game of the weekend, the Brewers showed no mercy. They put up several runs in the first, third and fifth innings. Trausch and Smach both had another great game, continuing to drive in runs. The Brewers had a 11-0 lead at the top of the sixth, before sophomore Matt Schwartz homered to extend the lead to 12-0. Schwartz had a huge day for the Brewers, going 4-for-6 with a homer, two doubles and three runs. The Dutchmen had a late rally, but were unable to surpass the Brewers in the waning innings of the game. Vassar picked up the win with an impressive score of 14-8, behind sophomore pitcher Joe Conti who took the first 6 innings of the game and freshman Robert Pinataro who went in for the final two outs to secure the win for Vassar. Head Coach Matthew Righter is both very proud and excited about the first sweep of Union in program history. In his debut season as head coach, Righter has been focusing on building the team up and getting better with every practice and game. “From the very beginning of this year my main goal has been to continue to improve throughout the season so that we are playing our very best to-
wards the end. I feel like we’re on that path and that we will keep getting better in the next couple of weeks,” Coach Righter commented. He was also impressed with the way the pitchers led the team to an undefeated weekend. Righter noted, “I was really impressed with the toughness of our pitchers including starting pitchers Adam Erkis and Trent Berg. Their leadership really shined this weekend and they help set the tone for the rest of the guys.” Supplementing the pitchers’ prowess, Shanagher has been a solid contributor over his four years and he was incredibly influential in securing four wins this weekend against Union. He was proud of the way the team as a whole performed this weekend, especially on the offensive end. “I have to single out the offense, which was top notch all weekend especially on Saturday where we put up double digit runs in both games,” he pointed out. In terms of being a leader, Shanagher explained, “I just try leading by fulfilling the role that has been cut out for me on this squad. Everyone has a role on this team and if everyone fulfills their role to the best of their ability we could have a really exciting finish to the season.” Another impactful player this weekend was Smach, who drove in crucial runs in the four-game affair. Smach shared, “I am very proud of the positive energy our team showed after a rough five games to start conference play. A lot of our freshmen stepped up in big spots and weren’t scared to make big plays. Overall I would say that the entire team contributed to our success, but the energy of our bench players throughout the series really carried us through.” Smach especially attributes much of the team’s success to the leadership of the upperclassmen. With strong cohesion and continued improvement, the Brewers look forward to upsetting more league opponents and landing a spot in conference playoffs. Coach Righter said, “I think we will make an appearance in the playoffs and then at that point anything can happen.” Thanks to these four huge wins over the weekend, the Brewers propelled themselves from ninth place in the Liberty League up to sixth place. After facing non-conference opponent Mount Saint Mary’s, the Brewers are hoping to continue their winning streak in a set of doubleheaders against Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute on April 22 and 23.
Vassar on par for(e) success at league championships Gabrielle Deitch Guest Reporter
A
while Han fired an 87. Prince and Tan tied for 35th, each with an 88, and Shay posted a 92. The team finished the second day of the invitational with a score of 684, just seven strokes behind the women’s team-best score of 677, which the squad earned at the Mount Holyoke Invitational in the fall. New York University took the victory in the end, posting a team score of 610. Although Vassar fell from seventh to eighth place on the second day, four of the Brewers fired better scores on day two than they did on day one. The squad trailed Wellesly by only one stroke. “We were happy to see most of our scores were in the 80s but it was frustrating how we lost to Wellesley by one stroke,” said Han. “But we are definitely looking forward to playing this weekend at Liberty Leagues!”
The Liberty League Championships will be the next and last competition for the Brewers this season. They are looking to grow upon what they have learned from the past two invitationals and to capitalize on their final week of practice to have the best performance possible. “We will continue to work on our chipping and putting along with our approach shots to the green. We have one week of practice left to give it our all and make sure we are ready for the Liberty League Championships,” said Coach Ausanio. “I saw a lot of great shots during the past two weekends and I am hoping we can continue that play into this weekend and come in with two days in the low 330s as a team.” The Brewers will compete in the Liberty League Championships on April 22 and 23 on the Spook Rock Golf Course in Suffern, NY.
Courtesy of Carlisle Stockton
s spring competition has picked up in recent weeks, the Vassar women’s golf team has competed in two invitationals: the Vassar College Invitational on April 8 and 9 and the Jack Leaman Invitational on April 15 and 16. These were the team’s last two competitions on the schedule before the Liberty League Championships, which begin on April 22. The Brewers started off strong on the first day of the Vassar College Invitational. Freshman Andrea Han led not only the Brewers, but all of the competitors, tying for the lead with women from Ithaca College and Amherst College. Han took advantage of the par fours and fives, scoring just one-over on each. She solidified her lead by firing 10 pars and two birdies, finishing the day with a four-over 76. Junior Annie Hsu joined Han on the leaderboard on Saturday, earning 12th place after the first round by posting an 82. Like Han, Hsu performed well on the par fives, shooting six over par with two birdies. Freshman Qiwen Tan, senior Emily Prince and sophomore Evon Shay finished out the first day behind Han and Hsu, posting a 90, 93 and 94, respectively. The Brewers finished the day as a whole in sixth place out of 12 teams. Mount Holyoke College was tied with them for sixth, both teams posting a 341 (+53). On the second day of the invitational, the Brewers finished only two strokes off of their 341 from the previous day. Shooting a 343 put the team in seventh place, with a final score of 684, as the competition came to a close. Williams College came in first, with New York University coming in closely behind. Han lost her lead on Sunday, coming in tied for seventh place as some of her competition was able to catch up to her. “It was exciting to be tied for first after the first round of the Vassar College Invitational, but
I did feel some pressure going into the second round because I really wanted to play well since it was our home tournament,” noted Han. “I was disappointed with my performance on the second day, but it’s okay! There’s always next year!” Tan shot an 81 on day two, nine strokes better than her score from day one, allowing her to finish tied for 29th. Meanwhile, Hsu tied for 35th with a 174, Shay finished in 48th place with a 181 and Prince came in 55th with a 186. Associate Head Coach Anna Ausanio was pleased with the team’s performance at the Vassar College Invitational, especially because it was the squad’s first competition since March. “We had a great home Invitational. Our freshman Andrea had a solid two day score shooting her career low of a 76 on day one,” said Coach Ausanio. “The girls didn’t have much practice leading up to the event due to the weeks’ worth of rain. I feel that it was a good start to the season and they knew what to work on going into the next week’s practice.” The next weekend, the Brewers traveled to Amherst, MA for the Jack Leaman Invitational. The team headed into the Vassar College Invitational with the goal of placing within the first half of the field and just barely lost sixth place, so the women hoped to accomplish that goal this time around. Despite coming in eighth overall, the team was still proud of its performance. “We were seven out of 12 for our invitational, losing the sixth place spot by only one stroke. That really motivated us to try hard for the Amherst tournament,” commented Hsu, who led the Brewers with a score of 86 on the first day. “Even though we didn’t place in the first half either for the second tournament, we were able to count four scores in the 80’s for both days, with the second day as one of our best team scores this year.” As in the previous invitational, the Brewers were right behind Mount Holyoke College, who came in fifth on Saturday of the Jack Leaman invitational. Hsu finished 26th with a 14-over 86,
Junior Annie Hsu sends her shot soaring in the Vassar College Invitational on April 8. With two invitationals under its belt, Vassar will head into the Liberty League Championships on April 22.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
April 20, 2017
SPORTS
Page 19
Questionable World Cup bid Forget Harden, Westbrook uncovers more scandals deserves NBA MVP title Desmond Curran Guest Columnist
“A
nother day, another million dollars” -FIFA. Last year, thousands rejoiced–myself included–as the FBI busted several FIFA executives in spectacular fashion. The country without a glamorous soccer history, whose professional soccer league is continuously subject to jeers and labeling as a “retirement league”, had done what traditional leading nations in the sport had failed to do. After such a celebrated and enjoyable process that ousted a number of hated figures from the governing body of soccer, it seems that the United States had learned a thing or two about the inner workings of FIFA, information which it capitalized on. This week the United States, Canada and México launched a joint bid for the 2026 World Cup. A way to a FIFA man’s heart is through his wallet—no? There are so many things wrong with this bid. The entire premise for this joint bid is to accommodate the expanded World Cup format that will be implemented for 2026. While the expansion itself is a farce, to suggest that the United States needs auxiliary infrastructure in México and Canada to host the tournament is laughable. The United States could easily handle a 48 team tournament–there are dozens of stadiums in the country capable of hosting matches and plenty of pristine training grounds. Even if the United States were to host a World Cup on their own, the issue of travel would be difficult to address due to the country’s size. If, for example, a team were to have a game in Phoenix, and then another in Columbus, that is a four hour trip and time zone change. For such finely tuned athletes, this can be detrimental to performance, especially with the more compressed group stage. Now imagine traveling into a separate country, like México or Canada, and add the grueling burden of international travel
to the already-tired athletes. What then, could possibly motivate FIFA to subject these players to an exhaustive travel schedule and to higher stakes in group stage play? Perhaps the motivation of not just tapping into the incredibly wealthy consumer market in the United States, but collecting even more in cash flow by including México and Canada. More host countries means increased opportunities to sell more tickets, merchandise, overpriced food and drinks at stadiums and more advertising space in actual stadiums and television channels. The United States Soccer Federation (USSF) learned from the exploits of the FBI. Following its unsuccessful bid for the 2022 World Cup, the USSF was stuck. There had been an enormous effort dedicated to this bid; even Bill Clinton joined the committee and led the bid. And yet the 2022 World Cup was granted to Qatar. Now, of course, the FBI uncovered facts regarding the systematic bribery that was almost required to be given a World Cup—there is evidence that even German bid officials offered bribes to FIFA which resulted in their hosting of the 2006 tournament. This bid, however, is clever in the fact that it is in itself some form of a bribe, a packaged guarantee, to FIFA that if the US, México and Canada were to jointly host the 2026 World Cup, the monetary gains would far exceed any underhanded bribes that FIFA would be offered. Sunil Gulati, the president of the USSF, had to realize that this was his hand to play after his rejection in the 2022 bid. Gulati knew that after the FBI had exposed so many corrupt officials in FIFA, including some Americans such as Chuck Blazer, the next bid made by the United States had to be squeaky clean. And by joining forces with the Mexican and Canadian soccer federations, Gulati engineered an offer that FIFA will find extremely difficult to reject.
Mack Liederman Guest Columnnist
“W
hat he has done has been historic in nature. He’s played with passion and pride and it’s really outstanding what he done in the way he did it.” Those were the definitive words of NBA legend Oscar Robinson expressing his praise to another legend in the making. Back in the 1961-62 season, Oscar Robertson became the first player to average a triple-double with 30.8 points, 12.5 rebounds and 11.4 rebounds. Outside of Wilt Chamberlain’s 100-point game, Robertson’s season was fabled in basketball lore as the NBA’s most untouchable record. Flash forward 55 years. Mr. Triple-Double has been reincarnated, now only bigger, faster and stronger. Get to appreciate Russell Westbrook. He is the NBA’s MVP. What Westbrook has done this basketball season is truly is history in the making. Let’s just start with the stat line. 31.6 points per game, 10.4 assists per game, 10.7 rebounds per game. In the modern game of basketball, where the superstars aren’t as elevated from the rest of the league’s players by leaps and bounds, Westbrook did the unimaginable. Not only did he break Robertson’s single season triple-double record with 43, but he made it look routine. When another NBA player gets a triple-double, its a headline. When Westbrook does, it is expected. And don’t forget the backdrop in which Westbrook is dominating competition day in and day out. Although Westbrook does not have any elite teammates and battles against elite defense, he still gets it done, with scary efficiency. Westbrook is averaging a triple-double in only an average 35 minutes per night. Back when The Big O did it in ’62, he averaged over 10 more minutes per game. Over the course of an entire career, that’s hundreds and hundreds less minutes Westbrook needed to put up the numbers he has. Despite Westbrook’s success, analysts have continued to discredit his season as too good to
be true. Many present Houston Rocket’s star James Harden (29.1 PPG, 11.2 APG, 8.1 RPG) as an alternative MVP. “It is a very close race between Westbrook and Harden,” said junior basketball player Tony Caletti. “I don’t think either of those are a wrong answer but I’d lean towards Harden over Westbrook, even though I think Westbrook will win it.” Even though Harden’s successful season should not go unnoticed, and in another year he would be a sure-fire MVP, Westbrook has just been that much more impressive. Although Westbrook’s ball dominance has resulted in his teammate’s usage rates decreasing, he has also been able to elevate the play of those around him. He has become a guy who always makes the right reads and always picks the right spots to pull up, drive or pass it off. Russ has been able to dump the ball off under the basket for Steven Adams and Enes Kanter, resulting in wide open dunks and easy finishes. Others knock Westbrook for his team’s record. Oklahoma City finished 47-35 this regular season, only resulting in a No. 6 seed in the playoffs. “I thought winning was what this is about,” Harden said about the MVP race. “I’m not going to get into depths, but I thought winning is the most important thing.” Arguments like these gravely underestimate the success Oklahoma City has had this season. In the most talented conference in league history, Westbrook has almost single-handedly willed the Thunder to a playoff birth, and with only a handful of wins less than Harden’s Rockets. And Westbrook has done it without Kevin Durant, and with arguably less talent around him than Harden is working with. As far as overall value that Westbrook adds to a team, no one else comes close. All this is not bad for the kid from Long Beach, California who not too long ago didn’t make his high school varsity team until his junior year. Sounds eerily reminiscent of that guy who used to play for Chicago.
Vassar breezes past rivals, adds another trophy to shelf TENNIS continued from page 1
still had to take on Wellesley to secure the Seven Sisters title. Vassar was in this exact situation last year, battling and defeating Wellesley for the 2016 title. Christensen came onto the court strong to earn the Brewers’ first win, with two 6-2 sets. Proving their consistent winning ability, Ivenitsky and Grinde again battled out a win, 6-2 and 6-4. Only needing one more victory in order to take home the championship title, Vassar walked out Yoo. She posted a straight set win with 6-4 and 6-2 sets, securing the Brewers’ victory over the four other institutions. The Brewers would not have been able to pull out this monumental win without the contributions of each of their players. Consequently, many of the team’s members were named to the All-Seven Sisters Team after their stellar performances. Yoo was named to the squad for singles, while both doubles pairs, Edwards and Flournoy, as well as Ivenitsky and Grinde, received this nomination. All of these individuals were unde-
feated in their respective matchups. Yoo not only posted one of the most impressive performances of the tournament, but has also been making significant strides for the team all season. Coach Campbell noted with praise, “She has been stellar all season for us, posting an undefeated singles record of 10-0 in Division III dual matches heading into the tournament. She brings such positive energy to the court and team at all times, and her composure in this competition, as well as all others, is remarkable.” Equally satisfied with her performance, Yoo attributes her victory to the mental composure that her coach commended as well. “I tried to stay focused and patient throughout the game,” she recalled. “Staying consistent and waiting to hit the ball in a way that would structure the point to my advantage was key.” In terms of the team, Yoo added, “I was really excited and proud of the rest of the team for our wins, especially against the tougher teams, like Mount Holyoke
Courtesy of Carlisle Stockton
Shayna Becker and sophomore Morgane Flournoy. They defeated their opposition in the first set 6-4, and continued steadily to take away the next set with a score of 6-2. Newcomers Ashley Fair and Vista Grinde then stepped up to follow the example of their upperclassmen, earning 6-1 and 6-0 wins. Smith College brought a stronger battle to the table for the Brewers. Though junior top-player Kate Christensen fell in her first set 4-6, she quickly rebounded to win the following sets 7-5 and 10-5. Becker faced a similar challenge against her opposition. Pushed to a tiebreaker, Becker eventually earned her win with set scores of 6-2, 3-6, 10-4. Vassar’s doubles teams overcame their Smith rivals easily, as Edwards and Flournoy swept the competition 6-0 and 6-1, and junior Dasha Ivenitsky posted 6-2 and 6-1 set wins alongside Grinde. The successful matches against Wellesley College and Mount Holyoke College the following day secured the championship title for Vassar. In singles against Wellesley, Christensen again rallied to earn a hard-fought victory with scores of 4-6, 6-4, 6-4. The winning continued, as Yoo posted 6-0 and 6-4 winning sets against her respective competitor. This victory marked the 10th straight match win for Yoo, giving her an impressive 13-1 record in doubles matches on the season. She is a significant contributor for the Brewers, leading the entire squad in wins. Matched up together for the first time, Flournoy and Edwards wrestled to pull out an important 6-4, 7-6 win to give the Brewers a strong start in doubles. “I felt really good about my doubles wins with Tara,” recalled Flournoy. “We played some of the best players on two especially tough teams, and barely won both of them.” Edwards seconded this sentiment, proud of the duo’s ability to play so successfully without much preparation. “We had only practiced with each other a few times,” she admitted, “but we were able to compete hard and play well with each other.” Ivenitsky and Grinde followed the lead of this top-doubles pair, sweeping their sets with scores of 6-4 and 6-0. After all of these winning efforts, the Brewers
Freshman Tara Edwards winds up to return a shot in recent match. Edwards, earning wins in both singles and doubles, helped the Brewers earn their third straight Seven Sisters Tournament title.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
and Wellesley.” The excitement of this win lasted until the next weekend, when the Brewers were defeated by aggressive MIT competition 7-2, losing their nine-game win streak. Though Becker and Edwards, as well as Ivenitsky and Grinde, lost their doubles matches, Flournoy and Christensen pulled out a powerful win against the top-doubles combination of their opposition, 8-6. “Our victory against MIT today was incredible,” Flournoy proudly stated. “We knew we could win as long as we worked each point patiently, and waited for the right opportunity to put the ball away. I’m very proud of our win, and it reflected exactly how hard we’ve been working as a doubles pair in executing our goals.” Christensen continued her impressive play into singles, securing the only individual win for Vassar against an impressive MIT player, ranked 15th in the Northeast. Falling behind 5-7 in the first set, she rallied hard to win the following ones 6-4 and 10-6. This win was good for Christensen’s fifth straight singles win, improving her season record to 17-5. Yoo, Ivenitsky and Edwards all put forth bold efforts against their respective MIT competitors, but fell in their singles contests. This day of play came as only the Brewers’ third loss on the season, as they maintain a still impressive 14-3 overall record. “I thought everyone played really well against MIT,” declared Yoo. “Most of our matches were so close that I don’t think the overall score reflected the quality of the game.” Edwards too recognized that the overall score did not replicate the closeness of the Brewers’ matches. “Even the matches we didn’t win were very close, which is always good. MIT is going to be a helpful match moving forward, as it shows us that we can truly compete with a highly ranked team.” With regards to moving forward into Liberty League competition, Coach Campbell commented, “We continue to focus on improving each week. While we competed very well against MIT, making them fight for every match, we will identify things we need to continue working on as we move forward.” The Brewers will look to do just this, as they take on Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs, NY, this upcoming Saturday.
SPORTS
Page 20
April 20, 2017
Liberty League playoffs approaching, crucial games ahead Olivia O’Loughlin Sports Editor
Women’s Lacrosse
Men’s Volleyball
Unfortunately, the Brewers were unable to hold their 14-game winning streak as they competed in the United Volleyball Conference (UVC) semi-final game against New Paltz. No. 2 Vassar was eventually topped 3-1 by the defending national champions New Paltz with scores of 32-34, 22-25, 26-24 and 25-18. The Hawks earned the win as they claimed every category (points, kills, aces, assists and digs), except for blocks. To surpass New Paltz in blocks, junior Matt Knigge led the team with eight blocks, while sophomore George Diehl and fellow junior Brian Manley each added four. Knigge also posted 19 kills and two assists. Junior Zechariah Lee also posted multiple teamhigh statistics with 44 assists, eight digs and two aces. Seniors Christian Lizana and Trey Cimorelli tied Lee for a team-high eight digs. The team’s long faces did not last long as VC clinched a spot in the NCAA Division III Championships! The Brewers will play on April 28 against the winner of the match-up between Kean University and New Paltz. Men’s Rowing
In the first Vassar-hosted regatta in over a decade, the Brewers raced against the University of Albany on Saturday, April 15 on the Hudson River. VC took home a victory in both the Varsity 8+ and the Second Varsity 8+.
Courtesy of Carlisle Stockton
The Vassar women’s lacrosse team cruised over Bard College 14-3 to advance its conference record to 3-2. Vassar went on a scoring spree early in the game and headed into halftime ahead 10-1. Then after the break, the Brewers notched off a few more goals and maintained possession to seal the victory. Freshmen Adele MacEwen, Grace Goodwin-Boyd and Kelly Pushie, along with junior Storm Sideleau and senior Julia Trudell all tallied two goals apiece. Meanwhile, sophomores Fiona MacLeod and Lindsay Wolk, junior Amelia Rivoir and freshman Tessa Waters all contributed one goal. Senior Phoebe Hankins and Wolk led the pack in assists, dishing out two each against the Raptors. The Brewers will next head into a crucial Liberty League weekend against Skidmore College and Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute on Friday, April 21 and Saturday, April 22.
In the Varsity 8+, junior Janet Ortiz served as coxswain, leading seniors Andrew Wang, Jake Brekelbaum and Lucas Kautz, junior Aron Sulovari, sophomores Vin Brana, Alex Goff and Daniel Otto and freshman Aiden Glaser-Schoff. The V8+ squad finished in 6:31, to secure the fastest time of the day and to top Albany by a whopping 35 seconds. Then in the 2V8+, junior Jonathan Snyder took the role of Coxswain, joining junior Jake Brody, freshmen Travis Walker and Aiden Lavis, Otto, Brana, Goff and Glaser-Schoff. The squad fought hard to earn a four-second victory at 7:04. Next weekend, the team will face Albany once more in addition to racing Skidmore College on Saturday, April 22 before heading to the President’s Cup at West Point on Sunday. Women’s Rowing
Racing on the Hudson River, the women’s rowing team took on Sarah Lawrence University and the University of Albany on Saturday, April 15 in four events. First up, the Varsity 4+ earned an impressive 39 second victory as they finished the 2000m course in just 8:02. This squad was made up of junior Janet Ortiz at Coxswain, senior Lianne May and sophomores Julia Blass, Lauren Osojnak and Haley Kardek. The victories continued as the Second Varsity 8+ took home an eight second win over Albany with a time of 6:37. The Second Varsity 8+ consisted of freshman Coxswain Elle McKenzie, freshmen Parker Marks, Colette Cambey, Kiera Mulvehill, Isabelle Hart and Sofias Rodas, juniors Clara Arndtsen and Claire Baker and sophomore Emily Laschanzky. The third win came at the hands of the Varsity 8+ led by McKenzie. This time around, McKenzie was joined by freshman Emma Wiley, junior Zofia Siwicka, sophomores Katie Emery, Olivia Hodel and Amanda Su, Blass, Osojnak and May. This squad finished way before Albany’s time of 9:01 as it clocked in at 7:34. Multiple Brewers returned to the water to compete in the final event, Novice 8+. In this event, the Brewers bested Albany and Sarah Lawrence by 29 seconds. VC will next travel to face Albany, Skidmore College and Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute on Saturday, April 22, and will compete in the President’s Cup at West Point on April 22.
Freshman Grace Goodwin-Boyd chases after ground ball in home match against Connecticut College. With a pair of goals from Goodwin-Boyd, Vassar topped Bard College 14-3 on April 14. tional last weekend. Only a few Brewers competed on Friday as competitors in the elite portion, while the whole team participated in Saturday’s events. On Friday, junior Jared Freedman earned 13th place in the 800m with a personal-best time of 1:58.31, while senior Gabe Fishman took home 11th place in the 1500m with a time of 4:05.86. On Saturday, senior Elijah Winston shined as earned fourth place in the 400m with a season-best time of 51.03. Next up, freshman Anthony von Steuben chalked up an eighth place finish in the 100m with a 11.47, followed by junior Kyle Estrada at 16th place with a time of 11.59. While Fishman took home 11th place overall in the 1500m, junior Philip Brown finished in 4:13.08 for 15th place as fellow junior Jesse Schatz earned 17th place with a career-best 4:13.28. Winston then earned another fourth place finish as he joined Estrada, von Steuben and freshman Skylar Widman for the 4x100m relay for a combined season-best time of 45.42. Lastly, freshman Jonah Goldenbird clinched eight place in the pole vault. Next up, the squad will host the Liberty League Championships on Saturday, April 22.
The Vassar men’s track and field team traveled to new London, CT to compete in the Silfen Invita-
Courtesy of Carlisle Stockton
Senior Elijah Winston races to the finish line at the Silfen Invitational on April 15. Winston earned two impressive fourth place wins last weekend in the 400m and the 4x100m relay.
Men’s Lacrosse
Recently earning the No. 20 rank in Division III, the Vassar men’s lacrosse team was unable to beat No. 9 Saint Lawrence in a tough conference battle. Although the game started off as a close contest, the Saints eventually ran away with a 14-8 victory. Senior Chris Billups was the first Brewer to reach the back of the net with the help of sophomore James Thomas. Minutes later, senior Sam Houston-Read tied the game at two with a goal, assisted by freshman Michael Mullen. Vassar would score six more goals during the contest. Senior Brandon DeStasio, Liam Moriarty and freshman Matt Lowrey would each tally one goal, while Houston-Read notched a second and Billups added two more to round out his hat track. Sophomore goalkeeper Matt Boyd held strong for the Brewers as he posted 15 saves. The Brewers hope to get back on track as they take on No. 7 Rochester Institute of Technology on Saturday, April 22. Men’s Tennis
Women’s Track and Field Men’s Track and Field
Returning home, the Brewers will train for the Liberty League Championships on Saturday, April 22 on Weinberg Track.
On April 14 and 15, VC competed at Connecticut College in the Silfen Invitational. Senior Alex Gittens ran well on Friday, April 14 as she posted a 2:18.50 in the 800m to earn fifth. Meanwhile, junior Savannah Wiman finished the 1500m in fourth place with a personal-best 4:51.76. On Saturday, field events were particularly favorable for the Brewers. In the shot put, freshman Jackie Cenan surpassed her old school record as she posted 11.33 meters to earn seventh place. Meanwhile, freshman Sabrina Stacks took home 10th place in the javelin with a 29.99 meter throw, as sophomore Annelise Depman jumped 10.24 meters to earn fifth place in the triple jump. The freshmen continued their success as Max Wagh collected a 10th place finish in the pole vault with a cleared height of 2.5m. Then, in the high jump, freshman Penelope Mort Ranta clinched fifth place after clearing 1.48m. Gittens returned strong on Saturday as she posted a season-beat 27.92 in the 200m to nab fifth place. Behind Gittens, sophomore Michelle Perri earned 21st place, posting a personal-best time of 28.65. To wrap up the victories, the 4x400 relay squad of Wiman, Gittens, Mort Ranta and freshman Sarah Newman ran a 4:16.35 to earn fifth place.
Vying for a spot in the Liberty League playoffs, Vassar took on the RPI Engineers on Saturday, April 15. Unfortunately, the Engineers topped the Brewers 6-3. Nevertheless, VC stayed in the battle for the beginning of the match. RPI claimed the first win of the day as the Engineers defeated freshman Allen Sokolov and senior Juan Felipe Laso 8-4 at No. 2 singles. Vassar then tied the match with a 8-5 victory at No. 3 doubles at the hands of senior Nick Litsky and sophomore Nick Zuczek. Then the Engineers took the lead once more as they claimed a 8-3 win at No. 1 doubles against senior Alexander Luckmann and freshman Jeremy Auh. Heading into singles play, Litsky clinched his 16th victory of the season, with an easy 6-0, 6-0 win at the No. 1 spot. RPI would take the next three matches: Laso was topped at No. 3 with scores of 6-2, 2-6, 4-6, sophomore Jamie Anderson fell 1-6, 5-7 at No. 4 and Sokolov was bested 6-3, 3-6, 1-6 at No. 2. Auh claimed the last win for the Burgundy and Gray as he earned a 6-4, 2-6, 6-3 win at No. 5. Then, in the last match of the day, Luckmann was unable to secure the win at No. 6, falling 5-7, 6-1, 4-6. The Brewers look to regain conference domination as they host St. Lawrence University for Senior Day on Sunday, April 23.
Weekend Scoreboard MEN’S LACROSSE VASSAR
8
VS
MEN’S TENNIS
ST. LAWRENCE
VASSAR
14
3
VS
WOMEN’S LACROSSE
RPI
VASSAR
6
14
VS
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
MEN’S VOLLEYBALL
BARD
VASSAR
3
1
VS
NEW PALTZ
3