The Miscellany News
Since 1866 | miscellanynews.org
Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY
Volume CLI | Issue 15
February 14, 2019
Courtesy of Jessica Moss/The Miscellany News
Controversial local jail faces lengthy delays Tiana Headley Guest Reporter
[Content Warning: This article makes mention of suicide.] n Jan. 20, 2013, a group of local activists and community members gathered in front of the Bardavon Theatre to protest the proposal to expand the Dutchess County Jail. Nearly six years later, a new law enforcement center
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for the county sheriff’s offices is complete, but the Dutchess County Justice and Transition Center (DCJTC) is still years from completion. The DCJTC is the new jail under construction at the site of the original Dutchess County Jail site. It is also the second phase of the county’s $200 million jail expansion plan, with the new law enforceSee COUNTY JAIL on page 3
StuFel presents insider Dean of College search narrows view of rewarding role Pictured above is the Dean of the College office, currently occupied by Interim Dean of the College Carlos Alamo-Pastrana. Located in Main Building, the office provides space for students to consult the Dean.
Ariana Gravinese
Lucy Leonard Copy Staffer
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he Mission and Vision for the Dean of the College position is as follows: “The Dean of the College division educates and supports students in their intellectual, social, ethical and emotional development. In facilitating the academic and personal achievement of our students, we advance their goals both as individuals and as members
of a diverse and inclusive...liberal arts learning community” (Dean of the College, “Mission Statement”). The four candidates seeking to fill that role are Vassar’s Interim Dean of the College and Associate Professor of Sociology and Latin American and Latino/a Studies Carlos Alamo-Pastrana, Director of Marist College Honors Program and Associate Professor of Philosophy James Snyder, UC Irvine Asso-
ciate Vice Chancellor for Wellness, Health and Counseling Services Marcelle Hayashida and Rutgers University School Counseling Coordinator and Associate Professor of Counseling Psychology Caroline Clauss-Ehlers. Former Dean of the College Christopher Roellke, who declined to endorse a candidate, shared qualities he believes the Dean of the College should have. “I See DEAN OF COLLEGE on page 3
Reporter
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s Student Fellow applicants begin interviews and offers hit students’ inboxes, I wanted to use my personal experience with the program to showcase all the benefits that the job affords. Whenever anyone asks me about the position, their first question is “How hard is it?” By sharing my story, I hope to offer a little insight for all those who wonder
about what it is like to be a StuFel. Like most StuFels, I applied to hopefully provide my assigned first-years with a wonderful experience and a warm welcome to Vassar. While some students apply because they loved their StuFel and want to recreate the same experience they had with their fellow group, others apply in hopes of creating a better environment for the next class year See STUDENT FELLOW on page 11
27Brew2 raises over Lecturer demystifies silent film $290k for athletics Dean Kopitsky Columnist
Kelly Pushie
Guest Reporter
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Inside this issue
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Frankie the Features Editor crafts FEATURES Communist paper bouquets
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en Model pointed out, “1929 was a bad year to lose your job.” In ‘29, the stock market crashed, and millions lost their savings, possessions and professions. The U.S. economy recovered, but one job market never returned. In the era of silent films, theaters hired musicians to play live accompaniments. In 1927, the first “talkie” premier signaled the death knell for what many experts consider Hollywood’s most adventurous and pure era. Last Thursday, Feb. 7, Vassar students and some gleeful Poughkeepsians had the pleasure of welcoming Museum of Modern Art archivist and composer Ben Model to speak as a part of Modfest. Model has been in the silent film world since the 1970s when, as a middle school student, he discovered his passion for scoring film. When Model began, he had to save up to buy the thin 8mm tapes sold at his local store. It was either that, or have an in with a collector of old film. Through research for a paper, he discovered that legendary New York Times film and drama critic Walter Kerr lived in his town. It
Despite acclaim, Trojan condoms prove OPINIONS to be Trojan Horse
The lecture spanned the extent of the silent film era. In the early part of the 20th century, moviegoing was cheap. A ticket cost only a nickel (hence the term nickelodeon) and the upper class considered film impolite entertainment. Model explained that, “[If you were wealthy,] you wouldn’t be caught dead in a movie theatre.” Although frowned upon by the wealthy, silent films were popular among a different demographic: Female musicians, to whom the See SILENT FLIM on page 6
Curtesy of Karl Rabe
he Vassar athletics fundraiser took on a new name and a new goal this year, shattering expectations once again. The campaign, previously known as “27for270,” rallied all 27 Vassar athletics teams to secure 270 donors in 27 hours. Since the number of donors last year surpassed 270 within the first few hours of the fundraiser, this year, the goal was for there to be 2,700 donors. The “27Brew2” challenge, as this year’s version was called, grabbed the attention of family and friends of current student athletes, as well as a vast alumni network that contributed to the total number of donations, 5,960 in all. This staggering number of gifts totaled $290,793, bringing in about $100,000 more than it did last year. When asked what was different about the campaign this year and what contributed to such a remarkable increase in donations, Director of Athletics Michelle Walsh was at a loss for words. “I’m still trying to fig-
ure that out!” she admitted via email. “We were once again overwhelmed by the generosity from alumnae/i, parents, friends, family, and members of the Vassar community who supported our student-athletes.” Team videos promoting the fundraiser, creative graphics and personal pleas flooded social media, with each team trying to spread the word about 27Brew2 to compel as many people as possible to donate. The Athletics Department incentivized each team to lure donors, with an extra $5,000 going toward the team with the most donors, and another $5,000— generously donated by President Bradley and her husband—going to the team whose donor count improved most from last year’s challenge. The men’s lacrosse team secured the former of the two, raking in 1,076 donations. The men’s tennis team won the latter, improving their number of donors by 650 percent. However, not only the two winning teams See FUNDRAISER on page 18
was one of many lucky breaks, as Model puts it, he received in his career. He contacted Kerr, and a few days later, Model received an offer to explore his expansive film collection. Over the next two decades, Model would visit Kerr at his home to watch movies and discuss the craft. Model’s composition career began when he was a first-year in college. When the film needed scores, he took the initiative, and although he was a novice, “there was no better option,” he joked.
Last Thursday, archivist and composer Ben Model presented a lecture about the silent film era and how it remains relevant today.
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Writer drinks wine, bathes in the glory of singlehood on Valentine’s Day
The Miscellany News
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February 14, 2019
Editor-in-Chief Leah Cates
Senior Editors
Sasha Gopalakrishnan Mack Liederman
Contributing Editors
Talya Phelps Noah Purdy Charlotte Varcoe-Wolfson Laila Volpe News Features Opinions Humor and Satire Sports Design Copy
Jessica Moss Frankie Knuckles Steven Park Hannah Gaven Myles Olmsted Rose Parker Teddy Chmyz
Assistant Arts Holly Shulman Abby Tarwater Assistant Features Duncan Aronson Assistant Design Lilly Tipton Assistant Social Media Patrick Tanella Assistant Online Chris Allen
Laurel Hennen Vigil ’20 recently took a trip from her JYA home in London to the bustling, historically rich metropolis of Istanbul. Pictured above is the courtyard of the Süleymaniye Mosque. In her latest post for Far and Away, Laurel explains that Istanbul is “nearly the size of New York and London put together,” adding, “I knew it was a big city, but I had no idea precisely how vast it was until our plane was landing and we could see how it just keeps sprawling and sprawling and sprawling, like no city I’ve ever seen.” To read more from Laurel and other JYA students, visit farandaway.miscellanynews.org.
The Miscellany News 14
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Guest Recital: Douglas Cleveland, organ
Late Night at the Lehman Loeb
Python Workshop
Students of Sobriety Group
5:00 p.m. | The Loeb Atrium | The Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center
3:30 p.m. | Bridge Sci-Vis Lab | CIS
9:30 a.m. | RH 211 | AA Pougkeepsie
Basketball (W) vs. William Smith College
Basketball (W) vs. Ithaca College
5:00 p.m. | AFC 102-Fit Center Gymnasium | Athletics
2:00 p.m. | AFC 102-Fit Center Gymnasium | Athletics
3:00 p.m. | Rose Parlor | Tech Conglomerate
She Is!
Basketball (M) vs. Ithaca College
Paper Critique
Endangered Life in Distant Terrains Opening Reception 5:30 p.m. | CC Old Bookstore | Campus Activities
Fishman Lecture
5:30 p.m. | CC Villard Room | Vassar Haiti Project
6:00 p.m. | TH 203 | Jewish Studies Program
Basketball (M) vs. Hobart College Courtesy of VHP
Stop by the Villard Room on Friday, Feb. 15 to support the Vassar Haiti Project (VHP) at their annual “She Is” gala.
4:00 p.m. | AFC 102-Fit Center Gymnasium | Athletics
“Miss Black America.”
7:00 p.m. | AFC 102-Fit Center Gymnasium | Athletics
8:00 p.m. | SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.
Etienne Charles: Creole Soul
The Third Annual Shiva Spectacular
8:00 p.m. | SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.
The Third Annual Shiva Spectacular 8:00 p.m. | Shiva Theater | Vassar Burlesque
3:00 p.m. | SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.
Student Theater Tech Fair
9:00 p.m. | Rose Parlor | The Miscellany News
Courtesy of Vassar Burlesque
Reporters Ariana Gravinese Aena Khan Columnists Catherine Bither Jimmy Christon Christian Flemm Jesser Horowitz Dean Kopitsky Izzy Migani Emmett O’Malley Sylvan Perlmutter Taylor Stewart Blair Webber Copy Anna Blake Natalie Bober Samantha Cavagnolo Madeline Seibel Dean Amanda Herring Phoebe Jacoby Anastasia Koutavas Lucy Leonard Caitlin Patterson Gillian Redstone Mina Turunc Photo Yijia Hu Cartoonist Frank CORRECTIONS A news article from Thursday, Feb. 7, titled “‘Freehand’ exhibit raises questions about self-taught art” stated that Lombino used the term “primitive artists” to describe Walker. In fact, she only used the term “self-taught artists” in regard to Walker and the other artists mentioned in the lecture. The article also implied that the lecture unduly tragedized their lives, which was not the intent of the review. A news article from Thursday, Feb. 7, originally titled “Lecture assesses impact of violent conflict on mental health” (retitled online to “Lecture assesses impact of violent conflict on public health” to more accurately reflect the article’s contents) stated that Khoshnood’s current research focuses on public health issues such as drug use. In fact, Khoshnood’s focus on public health issues includes the includes the transmission of HIV/AIDS via drug use. CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.
8:00 p.m. | Shiva Theater | Vassar Burlesque
Vassar Burlesque is slated to host their third annual Shiva Spectaular this weekend. Grab a ticket before they sell out!
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
February 14, 2019
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Candidates for Dean of College position present platforms DEAN OF COLLEGE continued
from page 1 hope that the Committee will secure a candidate with a strong understanding of the higher education context, particularly as it pertains to highly selective, residential liberal arts institutions,” he wrote in an email. “I also believe bringing a positive, optimistic demeanor to this work is essential.” Nine months after Roellke’s departure, Vassar’s Dean of the College Search Committee is in the process of interviewing the final candidates, one of whom will be selected by the Board of Trustees. The Committee is composed of Tamar Ballard ’19, Robin Corleto ’19 and Takunda Maisva ’19; Associate Professor of Chemistry Zachary Donhauser, Assistant Professor of Music Justin Patch and Professor of Earth Science and Chair of Earth Science and Geography Jill Schneiderman; Dean of First Year Students Denise Walen; and Director of Athletics and Physical Education Michelle Walsh. By order of the 2018-19 Governance of Vassar College, the professors on the Committee were elected, while the administrators and students were appointed. Their purpose is to find the new Dean of the College, someone who will meet the needs of Vassar’s varied community. President Bradley invited all students to participate in 45-minute open forums for each candidate, after which they could provide feedback via a Google Form. Few students attended these events; audience size ranged from one to seven depending on the candidate, and no students unaffiliated with VSA, The Miscellany News or the Search Committee made an appearance. The first candidate to host a forum, Interim Dean Alamo-Pastrana, spent his time addressing specific problems at Vassar and identifying possible solutions with audience input. “We’re terrible about conflict,” he told attendees. “We don’t debate when we’re upset with each other, and this isn’t just students.” Alamo-Pastrana did not shy away from what he saw as Vassar’s weaknesses.
“One question on the National Survey for Student Engagement shows that only 27 percent of Vassar graduates rate student services as excellent,” he said. Students from Vassar’s peer institutions, according to Alamo-Pastrana, rate their services as excellent 39 percent of the time. Mentioning his extended office hours, he encouraged students to visit to speak with him. Alamo-Pastrana voiced his support for Vassar staff as well as students: “I want to cultivate a workplace where all employees feel valued and supported.” He explained how a more supported staff could result in more supported students, as Vassar employees who work with students on a daily basis are often not consulted on student-related matters. When asked what he believed to be the most pressing issue at Vassar, Alamo-Pastrana answered, “Mental health.” On that subject, he asked what the audience thought the administration could, in his own words, “start doing, not stop doing.” He took notes on their responses and asked several follow-up questions. Marist College’s Snyder chose to spend most of his 45 minutes asking what it was like to be a student at Vassar. “My current position at Marist is very student-focused,” he said, “and you gain trust, respect and credibility with students by showing up.” After listening to audience members share thoughts on Vassar’s student life, Snyder brought up experiences at Marist that related to the audience’s most discussed issues: mental health and diversity. In his first year as Director of Marist Honors College, Snyder relaxed the academic requirements and standards for Honors College students. “My colleagues thought I was foolish, but I saw it calm students who were worried about the future,” acknowledged Snyder. He added, “My decisions tend to preference students over the faculty.” Snyder is a philosopher by training, and at Marist he ran a set of classes about finding meaning and value in life, notions he would like to impress upon Vassar students as well. “Vassar seems like a very
innovative place to me,” he observed, “and I want you to continue to have meaningful conversations and openness to change.” On the topic of diversity, Snyder also mentioned his experience at Marist: “We’ve had some catching up to do there, and we’ve done a lot of catch-up.” When asked what diversity meant to him personally, he answered, “Diversity to me is like a lifestyle the school has to live. We have to revisit it all the time.” Hayashida is a Vassar graduate, class of ’96. A trained psychologist, she values her job in Counseling Services where she manages student wellness and health promotion. “I get to talk about the things I would read about for fun every day,” she remarked. In her current position, her responsibilities include disability accommodation, sexual assault prevention, childcare services and general health issues. Hayashida discussed her dealings with the hot-button issue of free speech on campus, recalling her words when UC Irvine announced that right-wing polemicist Milo Yiannopoulos would be coming to campus at the invitation of the College Republicans. “The best way to challenge speech you don’t like is with more speech,” she told her students, some of whom believed Yiannopoulos should be barred from speaking at all. Additionally, Hayashida noted her admiration for Vassar’s Engaged Pluralism Initiative (EPI). She said, “I’m glad the college has gone so far as to now celebrate engaged pluralism, where you can fully express all the talents of the student body.” Hayashida viewed the Dean of the College position as a connection between student voices and higher administrators. “What do students need? How do we manage a problem, fix it, tweak it?” she contemplated. “I will express the desires of the students, but won’t necessarily advocate for it, if I disagree.” Clauss-Ehlers, the final candidate to host a forum, also voiced her admiration of EPI: “Collaborating with EPI is central to this role, and I would really view it as looking at intersectionality, at identity across different
identities.” Clauss-Ehlers spoke often of how she linked administrative transparency to administrative success, in both the context of EPI and generally. “As a licensed psychologist in the state of New York, I have a professional responsibility to explain why it is I think this is what we should be doing,” she said. Her background in psychology has led her to believe that the mental health of students is a top priority for college administrators. She cited a study showing that 30 percent of young people experience depression and anxiety, adding, “What I would want to see for this role is both... micro-level, more individualized mental health interventions and larger [interventions].” To forge community on campus, Clauss-Ehlers would begin by listening to the student body: “I think the first step is listening to what people feel, being responsive to what is important, what’s been working and then what are the gaps.” Clauss-Ehlers also mentioned a goal to expand Vassar’s community beyond the campus. “I think it would be really important to make connections with Poughkeepsie to see what kinds of relationships and partnerships could be built,” she said. Safety and Security, the Dean of Studies, the Associate Dean of Residential Life and Wellness, Student Growth and Engaged Student Activities, the Office of Religious and Spiritual Life and the Associate Dean of Professional Development report directly to the Dean of the College. The Dean must reman available to students, and, as most of the candidates noted, manages a wide portfolio that changes when a new person inhabits the role. One candidate remarked, “I could throw my sandwich out the window and hit someone who was qualified for this job here.” In an emailed statement, the Search Committee offered some final words on their mission: “The search has been a collaborative process among Vassar students, faculty, staff. The committee is grateful to those members of our community who participated in the search.”
Dutchess County jail remains years away from completion COUNTY JAIL continued from page 1 ment center being the first. The 297,000 square foot center, which will house 569 inmates and save taxpayers more than $5 million annually, will address the county’s longstanding capacity issues (Dutchessny. gov, “Dutchess County Justice and Transition Center”). For years, the county relocated over 200 inmates to other county jails in the state due to the jail’s capped 257 inmate capacity. This encumbered family visitation due to distance, inconvenienced attorneys providing services to their clients and resulted in a lack of access to rehabilitative services offered for housed-out inmates (The Miscellany News, “Dutchess Community protests jail expansion,” 02.07.2013). For county taxpayers, the overflow costs an estimated $6 million a year (The Poughkeepsie Journal, “Dutchess County Jail one of the worst in the state, report says,” 02.14.2018). In its long-term goal to expand the original jail, the county opened temporary housing units at the jail site in May 2015. The units, which save the county $1 million annually, will house inmates at its 200 inmate capacity until the DCJTC’s 2023 completion date (Dutchessny.gov, “Temporary Housing Units (PODS)”). However, when the county held a total of 485 prisoners in 2017, 40 inmates were boarded at the Ulster County jail in Kingston (The Dailyfreeman, “Dutchess County’s new jail could be too
small, sheriff warns,” 08.01.17). The jail’s total number of inmates dropped to 380 in November 2018, but capacity is not the only issue for which the jail has been cited (The Poughkeepsie Journal, “Dutchess jail can use size to its advantage: Editorial,” 12.13.18). The Dutchess County Jail is one of the worst in the state, according to a 2018-released report by the New York State Commission of Corrections. In addition to its overcrowding issues, the report highlighted the county’s delays in the development of a new jail and inmate suicides due to a lack of medical care (Auburnpub. com ”The Worst Offenders: The Most Problematic Local Correctional Facilities of New York State,” 02.14.18). The new jail is significantly delayed from its original 2017 goal. In 2011, one inmate hanged himself, and another did so in 2014. The 2011 inmate death was found by the commission to have resulted from a misprescribed medication and a failure to address a previous suicide attempt (The Poughkeepsie Journal, “Dutchess County Jail one of the worst”). Prior to the 2014 inmate’s death, jail staff failed to refer the inmate to mental health services despite his mental health history (The Poughkeepsie Journal, “Dutchess County Jail one of the worst”). In addition, eligible youth did not have access to educational services and inmates did not exercise for the amount of time required by the state (The Poughkeepsie
Journal, “Dutchess County Jail one of the worst”). The jail expansion is the largest capital project ever undertaken by the county, according to County Comptroller Robin Lois (The Poughkeepsie Journal, “New Dutchess County jail on budget, schedule, according to the comptroller,” 05.22.18). Prior to their interviews, Arlington resident Jessica Van and City of Poughkeepsie resident Melanie Johnson were unaware of the project. However, they did express their disapproval of it. “I don’t think that we need another jail. I think [prisoners] should be rehabilitated,” Van said. “Most [prisoners] are in [jail] for petty crimes. And children who are caught in the system should be rehabilitated. [We] should be helping our children to be better people. If our children are on the streets, it’s not their fault. We don’t have after-school programs. Parents are doing the best they can.” Johnson pointed to problems in the city’s school system. She highlighted, “We have one library in the city, no books in the schools and the YMCA that needs to be reopened.” Reverend of The Potter House in Poughkeepsie Curtis Whitted bought the former YMCA building on Montgomery Street in 2014 after it closed. He hoped to revitalize it into a family community center but has made little progress due to insufficient funds for tax liens and renovations (The
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Poughkeepsie Journal, “Future of former YMCA uncertain,” 06.03.16). Johnson explained further: “We don’t need another jail, we need better education. They just started the after-school program for elementary school, and it’s limited. But the police department has brand new SUVs. [The jail] is a business. They get $800 to $900 a day per inmate. They have transition in the name, but if they’re just using [the facility] to lock more people up, then it’s not right.” While the new jail will provide more space for inmates, it will also offer more room to expand the county’s rehabilitative and re-entry programs and improve access to medical and mental health services. It is expected to serve special populations, including those with substance abuse or mental health issues, with housing units designed to address their needs (The Poughkeepsie Journal, “Dutchess Sheriff’s Office set to move in early 2019,” 11.27.19). But Tracy Given-Hunter, member of End the New Jim Crow Action Network, does not think that a new jail will not solve the county’s criminal justice issues. She stated: “That is their claim, but make no mistake, these are still cells. If your goal is to keep [inmate] numbers from increasing, what are those proven practices [to keep the numbers down]? Why aren’t more people in Alternatives to Incarceration? If that were happening, we wouldn’t need these 500 beds.”
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Ae n a K h a n In Our Headlines … The clock is racing on Capitol Hill as both the Senate and House of Representatives engage in bipartisan talks to reach an agreement over border security before Friday, Feb. 15. If negotiations are unsuccessful, the government will shut down once again. The 17 lawmakers set a deadline of Monday, Feb. 11 to reach a deal that would undergo vetting by both chambers of Congress and require the president’s approval. However, aides revealed there was a disagreement between the officials over Democratic efforts to shift ICE detainments from migrants on overstayed visas to those with criminal records. Donald Trump, in his customary manner, took to Twitter to blame Democrats for the lack of progress, writing, “The Border Committee Democrats are behaving, all of a sudden, irrationally. Not only are they unwilling to give dollars for the obviously needed Wall (they overrode recommendations of Border Patrol experts), but they don’t even want to take mu[r]derers into custody! What’s going on?”(Twitter, [at]realDonaldTrump, 02.10.2019). Similarly, there is little interest on behalf of the Democrats to allot more than $2 billion to border security.
Trump has privately discussed invoking a national emergency to garner his desired amount of $5 billion without Congress. Lawmakers from both parties have expressed discomfort with this prospect (New York Times, “Talks Over Border Security Breaks Down, Imperiling Effort to Prevent Shutdown,” 02.10.2019). Senior Democratic Senator from Minnesota Amy Klobuchar announced her presidential bid in Minneapolis on Saturday, Feb. 9. She stated, “I stand before you as the granddaughter of an iron ore miner, the daughter of a teacher and a newspaperman … to announce my candidacy for president of the United States … I’m asking you to join us on this campaign.” She didn’t refute several jabs in an attempt to set herself apart from Washington officials, particularly from Donald Trump. Her campaign will be centered around the Midwest, including her native Minnesota, a region largely in favor of Trump and Republicans. Many Minnesotans cheered on her presidential aspirations, but her moderate voting record and allegations of her having abused staffers have dogged the fledgling campaign (CNN, “Sen. Amy Klobuchar enters presidential race,” 02.10.2019). After the Trump administration’s controversial decision to pull troops out of Syria and Afghanistan, a decision publically renounced by Congress and various generals, the U.S. has taken steps to support Kurdish forces in Syria. The current battle in eastern Syria, the final ISIS-controlled territory in the region, saw the Syrian Democratic forces successfully overtake the group. 20,000 people along the Iraqi border were evacuated, though hundreds remain trapped in the
enclave. Meanwhile, several hundred ISIS fighters are also hiding in the area. After the fall of two major cities in the territory previously controlled by ISIS, Raqqa and Mosul, the militant organization has been in steady decline. Trump announced last week that he expects the territory to be taken within the coming days (NPR, “U.S.Backed Kurdish Forces Launch ‘Final Push’ Against ISIS in Syria,” 02.10.2019). Around the World … Theresa May rushes to produce an agreement approved by both the EU and Parliament, setting aside debates with the intention of finalizing a deal by the March 29 deadline. Housing minister James Brokenshire said that further debates would take place if no pledge was given by Feb. 27 to a finalized agreement. The Labour Party policy chief stated that his party would work to prevent May from creating a last-minute deal, after months of secret negotiations that culminated in the overwhelming rejection of the formerly EU-approved Brexit deal in Parliament. May is currently working with EU officials to extend the Brexit deadline amid rumors that the question of the Northern Ireland border would no longer be negotiated. Britain currently faces great economic and political uncertainty as Labour officials push for a tighter U.K.-E.U. deal (Reuters, “May to promise new Brexit debate in push for more negotiating time,” 02.10.2019). The Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) campaign, founded in 2005 with the purpose of divesting from Israeli businesses and economy, reverberates in the United States after the Senate passed a bill on Tuesday, Feb. 5 allowing
February 14, 2019 states to punish those who take part in BDS. BDS is generalizing the political positions of Israelis—even the ones who are personally opposed to the occupation of the West Bank—to the point that leftwing Israeli entertainers are being targeted by BDS, paying the price for the Israeli government’s violation of human rights. Examples of those who withdrew from Israeli businesses include Lana Del Rey, Pink Floyd and AirBnB. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has spent at least $15 million over the past four years to fight the movement, which is modeled on divestments in the anti-apartheid struggle. Other Israeli officials consider the movement to be a Palestinian effort to destroy Israel (NBC News, “Israel fights boycott movement as pro-Palestine campaign gains global support,” 02.10.2019). Afghan President Ashraf Ghani offered Taliban officials an office in any city they desired—whether it be in their stronghold of Nangarhar or the capital city of Kabul. In the same announcement, Ghani proclaimed, “We will bring a lasting and honorable peace to the country.” Taliban leaders rebuffed the proposal and continued to shut the Afghan government out of peace talks between the terror group’s leaders and United States officials. In Moscow, the importance of a formal office was stressed alongside the removal of Western sanctions, and spokesman Sohail Shahin told Reuters that the group is seeking international recognition of their site in Doha, Qatar. Negotiations are expected to resume with U.S. peace envoy Zalmay Khalilzad on Feb. 25 (Reuters, “Afghan president offers Taliban local office, but group wants Doha instead,” 02.10.2019).
Lecture explores religion, morality in prison abolition Sophie McGrath Guest Reporter
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n Thursday, Feb. 7, Vincent Lloyd and Joshua Dubler, coauthors of “Break Every Yoke: Religion, Justice, and the Abolition of Prisons,” came to Vassar College to give a lecture on the concept and feasibility of prison abolition and the role of religion in justice. Lloyd, an Associate Professor of Theology and Religious Studies at Villanova
University, spoke of his interest in religion and how it connects to prison abolition activism: “I was drawn to the study of religion because I could see how religious communities motivated and sustained social justice struggles, such as a living wage campaign supporting low-wage workers that was happening on my campus at the time,” he shared. “Writing about the religious resources available to dismantle mass incarceration, in a way that’s aimed
Courtesy of Mapsofworld By depicting the size of prison populations in a variety of countries, the above graph reveals the depth and extent of the mass incarceration crisis on a global scale.
at motivating religious communities and secularist activists to partner in the work of prison abolition, struck me as a way of bringing together my scholarly expertise and my existential commitment to oppose domination around one of the defining issues of our time.” During the lecture, Dubler discussed the change in popular ethics within just one generation, depicted through the abolition of slavery. “As a moral fact, I don’t think anyone here would contest that no one should be owned by another person,” he observed. “[It was a] social movement that established that as a moral fact, and we look to [those involved] as inspiration in trying to assert another moral fact, an analogous moral fact, that a human doesn’t belong in a cage.” So what attitudes must change to actualize such ethical standards? Attendee Ally Aquilina-Piscitello ’21 said that society must abandon the popular perception of incarceration and those incarcerated. “We need to change the dehumanizing language that our society and campus uses to discuss prisoners and criminals,” Aquilina-Piscitello asserted. “Often our conceptualization of prisons revolves heavily around [those committing crimes such as] rape and murder, but we need to make a distinction between those criminals versus criminals that are an outcome of institutionalized racism and poverty.” Lloyd agreed that language change is a necessary first step toward ending mass incarceration. He further stressed that, in addition to mass incarceration, prison itself is a moral abomination. “[Prison] must be named, shamed and extirpated from our society,” Lloyd said. “The prison infects our culture, normalizing violence as
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
the means to address broken relationships, compounding the injustices that accompany anti-Black racism, patriarchy and other social ills, and obscuring the profound need to reinvest in marginalized communities and to reweave the social fabric.”
“We need to change the dehumanizing language that our society and campus uses to discuss prisoners and criminals.” Aquilina-Piscitello discussed how, after reading Lloyd and Dubler’s book and attending their lecture, her outlook on prison abolition feasibility changed: “I have never even thought of mass incarceration being abolished, and the idea does seem far fetched, but [Lloyd and Dubler] made a strong point that while the institution of slavery was still intact, no one thought the abolishment of slavery would be possible.” Dubler concluded the lecture by emphasizing the importance of activism and encouraging Vassar student involvement in abolitionist projects: “Vassar students should have ample opportunities to involve themselves in abolitionist work, whether by organizing with incarcerated people or organizing for city and county level reforms that will shrink the criminal justice system,” he said, citing a range of reforms currently being pushed in Albany, including cash bail, solitary confinement, parole for aging prisoners, marijuana legalization and discovery rules. “These are all winnable fights.”
February 14, 2019
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Shutdown obstructs funding for research Jessica Moss News Editor
“W
e strive to keep any semblance of sanity and balance,” laughed Vassar’s Associate Vice President of Corporate, Foundation and Government Relations Gary F. Hohenberger, heaping files atop his desk suggesting he may have only been partly joking. “But when there’s a scramble because of any federal reward, it affects the quality of attention and amount of time we have.” Because Hohenberger acts as a primary point of contact guiding faculty through grant applications for research programs, his life at the Grants Office had been disrupted by the historically long government shutdown. Spanning from Dec. 22, 2018 until Jan. 25, 2019 and rendering nearly 800,000 federal workers furloughed or forced to work without pay for 35 days, the partial shutdown left countless professionals seeking research funding from federal agencies, particularly those in higher education institutions, grappling in the dark with uncertainty and delay (NYT, “Government Shutdown Timeline: See How the Effects Are Piling Up,” 01.28.2019). At Vassar, professors applying for federal grants from closed agencies were uncertain how to proceed—whether to wait for their agency to reopen or blindly continue working on their applications. A number of these professors, unable to get in touch with federal program staff who would under normal circumstances counsel them through the nuances of their individual program applications, sought Hohenberger for advice, leaving the Grants Office scrambling for information and time as it attempted to address a number of concerns. “It’s been fairly frantic not only for those reasons, but because it creates just general unease, which then affects all the other work we do,” Hohenberger added. Since Vassar has a modest approximately 110 active grants, about a fifth of them federal, the College was not financially pressed to the same degree as larger institutions, which are more dependent on federal research funding. Additionally, many Vassar professors had already secured research funds for 2019. Nevertheless, professors seeking grant funding from The National Science Foundation (NSF), the source of the majority of Vassar’s government-awarded grants, were burdened by lack of ability to communicate with agents, postponed deadlines and general ambivalence. When the shutdown commenced, Professor of Biology and Cognitive Science on the John Guy Vassar Chair and Cognitive Science Department Chair John H. Long, Jr. was beginning an NSF grant proposal for a project on shark behavior, with collaborators from Florida Atlantic University, Colby College and the Steinhart Aquarium. He had organized a meeting with two program officers in early January, in which he planned to discuss a pre-proposal in order to pinpoint which NSF division would merge a computer scientist, biologist and aquarium director’s research. However, neither program officer showed to their conference with Long because they were furloughed. “It mean[t] more time between now and us getting the money to actually do the work,” Long summarized. He and his collaborators, uncertain about which program to submit their proposal, were left with lingering questions and delay. Meanwhile, NSF’s backed-up system prevented Long from submitting his annual report for a separate million dollar project, the deadline of which just so happened to fall in December. According to Long, the
NSF requires annual reports to ensure that grant money is being put toward valuable projects, since Congress approves the NSF’s budget. According to Long, “If you don’t file an annual report, they will not reward you another grant.” However, Long and his collaborators could not file their annual report, as the system would not accept it during the early stages of the shutdown. This could potentially become problematic if Long were to apply for a different grant, while his previous report had yet to be accepted. “It seemed like they were taking submissions on some things even when you didn’t have your annual report,” Long contemplated, bewildered about the details himself. “It’s unclear what’s going on with NSF.” If the potential shark researchers are ready to submit their proposal come Feb. 15, and the NSF has yet to accept Long’s annual report for his pre-existing grant, Long is uncertain whether NSF will accept his submission. Assistant Professor of Biology Myra C. Hughey experienced similar delays due to the shutdown in her application to an NSF grant that would supplement an existing grant her collaborator obtained. Starting this spring, Hughey and her colleagues from Washington State University School of Biological Sciences (one of whom is a visiting scholar at Vassar this semester, Erica Crespi) are conducting a study on the impact of salinity on the microbiome of larval amphibians, particularly wood frogs, and how that might change interactions with Ranavirus. Although Hughey knew which program to apply to, like Long, she could not contact her program officer to discuss the nuances of the application. Hughey and her collaborators debated whether to apply for the grant at all, but decided to proceed with their application despite these uncertainties. “We were kind of flying blind,” Hughey reflected. Although Hughey promptly heard back from her program officer and was able to submit her proposal when the government reopened on Jan. 25, it remains unclear how grants will be reviewed given the residual backlog that now exists. “When [federal agencies] reopen, all these hopefuls crowd in there, and you can imagine the backlog and...the specter of anxiety,” Hohenberger said. “We’re hoping that the bottlenecking of work for the agencies won’t affect [opportunities] in any adverse way.” Further delay brought by agents’ increased workloads carries potentially dire consequences for time-sensitive projects, such as Hughey’s seasonal work with amphibians. Hughey has a small window of time to gather wood frog eggs for her research, given that wood frogs only breed for a couple of days a year in the spring. Moreover, Crespi will only be at Vassar to research with Hughey until June. Although Hughey could potentially research independently with smaller funding from a different source, she said that collaboration with Crespi is crucial for a comprehensive study. “This is basically the only opportunity we have to get this research going, get this grant, where we’ll both be in the same place at the same time,” she remarked. “The timing is pretty key here.” Certain opportunities—whether collaboration with a particular colleague or work on a particular species—do, in fact, only come once. An unpredictable funding conflict caused by a shutdown impedes such projects, some of which can be critical for professors’ careers. NSF workers are aware of such repercussions and are actively working to prevent them. Associate Professor of Biology Dr. Lynn Christenson, a Rotating Program Director in the Division of Environmental Bi-
ology (DEB) at NSF, worked throughout the shutdown while her colleagues were furloughed because her position was classified under the Intergovernmental Personnel Act as “exempt.” Christenson, whose own NSF Long Term Ecological Research at Hubbard Brook forest experienced delay since U.S. Forest Service scientists could not work, acknowledged the risks researchers of time-sensitive projects face during a partial shutdown. She added that federal scientists who could not enter their labs may have lost critical data that they will never recover. Impacted by the delay herself, Christenson offered an insider view of efforts to overcome the backlog immediately following the shutdown: “For those folks furloughed, the first day [back at work] was spent getting through email[s]. They worked very quickly to identify the most important items to deal with first. The people I work with in DEB have been...process[ing] the most critical grants first.” According to Christenson, the research community has supported furloughed individuals throughout the shutdown. She shared that, on the first day back at work, top administrators greeted new returnees with coffee and doughnuts. Although optimistic that NSF will review proposals and fund grants in a timely manner, Christenson expressed concern about further difficulties that a potential resumption of the shutdown could pose. She wrote in an email, “We feel like we are back on track, but the impending potential shutdown could really slow us down.” In contrast to the short-staffing of NSF, the National Institutes of Health (NIH) remained open throughout the partial shutdown. Assistant Professor of Psychological Science Bojana Zupan received a $331,000 federal NIH grant for her study of the Fragile X protein, which is associated with characteristics linked to autism (Vassar Stories, “Professor Bojana Zupan Awarded $331,000 Federal Grant,” 01.21.2019). According to Zupan, “The NIH was not shut down due to the Department of Health and Human Services being one of the few with already approved budgets.” Long, a full supporter of Zupan’s research, indicated that NIH’s remaining open throughout the partial shutdown while NSF was closed indicates the government’s anthropocentrism. “A lot of times, these decisions about what’s essential and what isn’t are political,” he remarked. Despite professors’ relative success in overcoming the setbacks posed by the shutdown, Hohenberger revealed that Vassar faces larger institutional risks when funding research during a shutdown. Vassar operates as cash-deficient, meaning that when researchers present an availability of funds, such as an NSF grant, Vassar fronts spending on the project and withdraws funds from the Treasury at a later date. “It’s kind of a back-filing. We don’t have cash on hand,” Hohenberger summarized. This presents some risk during a shutdown because Vassar is fronting institutional moneys in hopes that it will be able to replenish its expenditures later. “There’s a lot of faith involved in these situations,” he disclosed. Hopeful that the government will remain open, Hohenberger considered the numerous possibilities if, come Feb. 15, the shutdown resumes: “[Will] we [be] forfeiting additional opportunities? Will deadlines that are open between now and then be reviewed fairly and at a reasonable timeline? Will things that in normal circumstances have been regarded more flexibly be grounds for dismissal? There’s this field of uncertainty that we just have to walk with.”
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VSA Updates Updates from the VSA meeting of Feb. 10, 2019 Consensus Agenda – Passed Pre-Approved Allocations: 250/250 from Discretionary to Burlesque for increased security costs for Burlesque Shiva Spectacular Allocations: • 0/10,000 from Discretionary to Traditions: Founder’s Day Music Finance Committee originally approved the full allocation, but upon review, Senate tabled the allocation to allow Traditions time to seek out opportunities for collaboration with other orgs. • 2010/2160 from Speakers to Students for Justice in Palestine for Che Gossett lecture Abolitionist Entanglement: Ending the Grammars of Capture • 500/500 from Community to Chinese Students Community for students to attend Lunar New Year Celebration with MHCCA • 975/1950 from Discretionary to Equestrian Team to cover fees for one of two shows requested • 999/999 from Capital to Asian Students’ Alliance for multiple language karaoke machine • 4100/4300 from Speakers to South Asian Students’ Association for a lecture and performance by Mallika Sarabhai, a noted Kuchipudi and Bharatnatyam dancer •
Finance Committee The Finance Forum has been rescheduled for Wednesday, Feb. 20, and will be held in Rocky 300 at 6 p.m. Organizations Committee Pre-org applications and full-org certification applications will be available the week before spring break. The committee will begin reviewing applications in the week following break and will make final decisions before annual budgeting begins. Academics Committee The Committee is planning a majors fair to be held on either April 1 or 2. Residential Affairs Committee Chair of Residential Affairs Jenny Luo ’20 recently attended the Committee on College Life (CCL) meeting. CCL has announced that Raymond will be renovated over the summer, primarily its bathroom spaces. First-Year Programs Committee The committee is discussing ways to incorporate programming around Student Employment and the Poughkeepsie community into the first-year experience. President Associate Deans of the College Luis Inoa and Wendy Maragh Taylor will attend the Feb. 24 VSA Senate meeting. All students are welcome and encouraged to attend this forum. —Julian Corbett, VSA General Intern
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Koons exhibit at Ashmolean features contentious pieces Taylor Stewart Columnist
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Courtesy of Jules Antonio via Flickr
eff Koons’ mini-retrospective at the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford, the world’s oldest public gallery, opened on Thursday, Feb. 7, marking his first public exhibition in the United Kingdom in ten years. The show, curated by Koons himself with Normen Rosenthal of the Royal Academy, is quickly selling out, but the artist remains as controversial as he is popular. Alongside the backlash that comes with a long, prolific and commercially successful career— critics like to say his work is vacuous or brash—his fine-art allusions have earned him several charges of plagiarism. Last November, a French court found the artist guilty of copyright infringement after Franck Davidovici recognized similarities between Koons’ 1988 poecelain sculpture, “Fait d’Hiver,” and his own 1985 advertising campaign for the French clothing brand Naf Naf (Artnet News, “Jeff Koons Is Found Guilty of Plagiarism in Paris and Ordered to Pay $168,000 to the Creator of an Ad He Appropriated,” 11.09.2018). The Ashmolean exhibition features only 17 objects, 14 of which have never been displayed in the UK. They range from “One Ball Total Equilibrium Tank,” constructed in 1985, to inflatable balloons, to the “Banality” and “Gazing Balls” series. (“Banality,” to which belongs “Fait d’Hiver” and some startlingly ugly porcelain sculptures depicting icons from St. John to Michael Jackson to Pink Panther, has produced five lawsuits.) “One Ball,” his breakout piece, is a Spalding basketball suspended in a glass display case. Nobel Prize-winning physicist Richard Feynman
A Jeff Koons exhibit recently opened in Oxford, marking the artist’s first UK show in 10 years and showcasing several of his classically controversial and iconic works. helped Koons with the seemingly gravity-defying work, and the piece is endlessly entertaining. “Gazing Balls” is a painting series comprised of direct reproductions of famous works like “The Luncheon on the Grass” by Édouard Manet and the “Mona Lisa,” except Koons places a chromatic blue sphere in the center of each. The balls look almost accidental at first, but they create a toy-like interactive aspect. “Rabbit” from 1986, a cartoonish sculpture cast in slick silver steel and “Balloon Venus (Magenta)” from 2008, also of mirror-polished stainless steel, are inflated balloon sculptures. More recently he
released a number of balloon dogs. Of the mirrored sculptures, Koons remarked, “I look at the reflection, at the surfaces, and I think of philosophy, I think of the idea to reflect, to contemplate. For me, everything is a metaphor for self-acceptance, and the ability, once you accept yourself, to be able to accept other people” (Artnet News, “Jeff Koons Wants to Teach Brits About Transcendence With His New Show at Oxford—and Tickets Are Selling Out Fast,” 02.06.2019). Illustrator Michael Craig-Martin’s work reminds me a bit of Koons. Both appreciate consumer objects and culture, and seem
averse to the artistic canon—dignified and fancy subjects, religious figures and reclining women. Koons, for example, interrupts the once-imposing Picassos, Renoirs and Titians through “Gazing Ball.” He contributes lots of material and space to the brilliantly precise balloon animals. To him, fine art and balloons are equally beautiful. His work isn’t particularly pretty or creative, but this leveling of fine art and ordinary objects is sincere. It certainly exemplifies his interesting reverence of party balloons. Craig-Martin explained to It’s Nice That how, as a young artist, he realized that the viewer is just as active as the creator (It’s Nice That, “‘More famous than famous’: Michael Craig-Martin on the changing nature of ‘ordinariness,’” 02.06.2019). Without anyone to see a work of art, it ceases to be a work of art, meaning that the relationship between piece and viewer strengthens when the subjects are ordinary. He draws items that the contemporary viewer knows, maintaining his illustrative approach through the years. A drawing of a tape cassette from the ’80s— with its minimal linework, solid background and sharp, harmonious color-blocking— looks similar to recent depictions of a disposable coffee cup, an iPhone or a credit card. I admire Craig-Martin more than Koons because his love of the ordinary is far more subtle, contributing to a feeling of tranquility and reserved beauty. The artist said, “Ordinary is everywhere, ubiquitous, instantly familiar and so familiar that it’s invisible.” Through his flat and minimal style, “He realised he ‘could bring to the foreground in anybody who looked at it an unbelievable wealth of associations and feelings’” (It’s Nice That).
Ben Model lecture explores silent film’s history, relevancy times at the same theatre with a different score each time. Despite their creative liberty, musicians would often play to the exact action of the scene and not support the underlying tension of the film. This technique influenced Model’s approach to scoring. Rather than reflect the moment, Model takes a step back to score the overall arch of the story. Model used “Phantom of the Opera” (1925) as a way to contrast the two styles, showing the scene in which the phantom’s love interest finally makes him reveal his face. With the film running in the background, Model sat at the piano and played its original score, showcasing his accompaniment skills live. In the movie, the phantom plays piano while the wom-
Courtesy of Karl Rabe Last Thursday, film accompanist and archivist at the Museum of Modern Art Ben Model played a live piano performance during his lecture about silent film.
an stands behind him, slowly reaching towards his mask. Model’s performance mirrored that tension unfolding onscreen. His piano intensified until the woman rips off the mask, revealing the phantom’s mutilated face. The phantom leaps up, and the woman collapses on the floor. Once again, Model’s accompaniment captured the terror of the scene and the frightening revelation of the face. Then Model played his accompaniment, which is softer and sweeter. The piano grows intense, but in a way that suggests the brink of tragedy rather than horror. Finally, the phantom’s face is uncovered, and the piano takes on a dramatic yet devastated tone. The original score placed audience members in the woman’s shoes, inducing the sense that everyone in the room was about to uncover a scandalizing secret alongside her. Model’s version evoked a desperate and lonely man weighing the consequences of becoming vulnerable to a woman he loves—and failing. It seemed as though Model’s playing reacted to every twitch of the eye and tilt of the head. In an email interview, atendee Jonah Parker ‘19 noted Model’s apparent passion for his work: “Seeing someone so in love with their craft is always a treat.” After the lecture, Model allowed the audience to ask questions. When asked which on-screen cues prompted changes in his playing, he laughed, “I just see what’s happening, and I react to it.” He views the audience as the final participant in the movie and allows them to guide his performance. In an email interview, attendee Eleanor Carter ’22 indicated that she was struck by the way such quick responses underscore films, particularly of the comedic persuasion: “I didn’t realize it
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Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
SILENT FILM continued from page 1 genre offered opportunities. Traditional orchestras did not employ women, but theatres hired female piano players. Model recalled, “I always hear people tell me that their grandmother accompanied movies. I almost never hear of men doing it.” At first, movie scoring was not an exact science. Composers would write a piece to fit the drama or mood on the screen, and name it “Tension,” “Comedy” or “Magic.” Then, those compositions would be combined into sets and sold as folios to movie theatres. Shorter mood pieces sometimes lasted only a couple of minutes. Therefore, composers had the freedom to improvise over the scene. During the course of a week, you might see a movie multiple
Model used footage from 1925 silent film “The Phantom of the Opera” to demonstrate to the audience the wide range of scoring techniques that accompanists may choose from, illustrating their varying effects. until I went to the lecture, but silent films do a great job of accentuating the kind of playful and lighthearted physical comedy that used to be popular and now seems to be disappearing.” She went on to emphasize the significance of Model’s work, “I think there’s quite a bit of value in seeing silent films independent of them being silent, and I’m thankful someone like Model is using his skills to put those films in people’s lives again.” Model echoed the idea that silent films remain pertinent. In response to a question concerning the future of silent film, he replied that children in Boise, ID laugh the same way at the same jokes as children in Norway. In Model’s own terms, “Silent film is a universal language.”
February 14, 2019
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Ensemble Mic Nawooj defies genre, promotes unity Abby Tarwater
Assistant Arts Editor
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Courtesy of Abby Tarwater
[Disclaimer: The quotes in this article are sourced from an email interview, and they have been edited for clarity.] he studio artists, dancers, musicians and actors who participated in this year’s Modfest interpreted the theme, “In Motion,” in myriad ways; examples include The JACK Quartet’s musical depiction of tornadoes and the Vassar College Women’s Chorus’ performance of “Its Motion Keeps.” Hip-Hop Orchestra Ensemble Mik Nawooj (EMN), which consists of classically-trained pianist and composer JooWan Kim and MCs and lyricists Do D.A.T and Sandman, adopted the theme both literally and figuratively. Their performance on Saturday, Feb. 9 at the Poughkeepsie Trolley Barn marks the first time that Modfest has moved off-campus, and EMN’s work demonstrates how music continues to evolve and subvert expectations. Prior to their performance, Assistant Professor of Music Justin Patch moderated a panel discussion with Ensemble Mik Nawooj titled “Method Sampling and a New Aesthetic.” Patch asked the group questions about “method sampling,” EMN’s unique artistic process in which they borrow principles of hip-hop and classical genres, as well as unrelated artistic fields, and then reframe them into a novel creation. They illustrated this concept by delineating their deconstruction of the Wu-Tang Clan track “Shame on a N****,” in which they blended the song’s trademark beats and lyricism with classical compositional techniques. Kim articulated the effect of this process:
“By using ‘Method Sampling,’ we are creating a novel performing art genre .The fact that we can successfully synthesize seemingly disparate genres into a brand-new form and claim that as the new concert music is, I believe, completely unique and noteworthy.” EMN believes that via their fusion of seemingly dissimilar genres, they create a space for inclusivity. Sandman explained: “We don’t have music that we say is meant for one group or the other, but for anyone willing to listen. Hip-hop and classical music are seemingly opposites as far as genre is concerned, and as far as race is concerned, Black and white, affluent and indigent, but our artistic process is not informed by these phenomena. The ensemble’s Trolley Barn performance showcased the eclecticism of the EMN’s repertoire. Kim, Do D.A.T and Sandman were accompanied by soprano, winds, strings, drums and piano. Their first set featured various deconstructions of classic hip-hop tracks, including more songs by Wu-Tang as well as Snoop Dogg’s “Gin and Juice” and J Dilla’s “Last Donut.” The second half exhibited seven pieces with original lyrics and composition; however, their practice of sampling different artists and mediums remained evident. For example, the composition “Hope Springs Eternal” derives its title from the Alexander Pope poem “An Essay on Man.” The ingenuity of the group is due in part to the members’ diverse inspirations. For example, Kim remarked, “As for my influences, it’d be Hegel, evolutionary biology, disruptive technology, all the classical canon, boom bap, minimalism, Zen and Taoism.” Sandman cited hip-hop/punk artist TechN9ne. He expounded, “He was set to have a deal with a
Hip-hop Orechestra Ensemble Mik Nawooj participated in a panel discussion with Associate Professor Justin Patch, titled “Method Sampling and a New Aesthetic.” major label, but because of his will to be himself, the labels ultimately rejected him. He had white executives tell him that he didn’t come off as Black enough, because he was eclectic, with spiky red hair ... He, amongst others, inspired me to do something different, try things out, evolve and be myself.” Sandman further elucidated how their work bridges the gap between two divergent musical worlds and how this affects listeners: “Our want to work together is simple and innocent. This is new and interesting, and thusly challenging, and I think, subliminally or otherwise, the crowd picks up our intent, and therefore feels welcomed and engaged.”
The members of EMN asserted that their music’s message of amity and harmony is visible at their concerts, as their audiences vary greatly in age and cultural background. Do D.A.T elaborated on this sentiment during the panel discussion: “For me personally, hiphop offers opportunities like this where there are people from different races, classes, genders, backgrounds…to come and have a conversation, and that discussion is something that is necessary for progressive change in the United States,” he stated. “I think Ensemble Mik Nawooj does great at being a space for that, and bringing different people with different ideas together.”
Expansive Whitney exhibit brings Warhol to New York Christian Flemm Columnist
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as representatives of their own object-ness is for the viewer to consider. Several of Warhol’s film works are also represented in the Whitney’s show, but if there are any noticeable absences in the massive exhibition, it is the unfortunate omission of motion pictures such as “Chelsea Girls” and “Lonesome Cowboys.” Nonetheless, one can hardly complain. Warhol’s factory screen tests of superstars like Edie Sedgwick play in darkness (ten of them, each on 16mm film) on the fifth floor of the Museum in an open access, microtheatrical setting. On the third floor, one encounters a compendium of familiar faces, lookalikes and reproductions—most of them beaming at the viewer on videotape from small screen CRTs. On display
Courtesy of Christian Flemm
ven if a hard-won escape from the winter chill is no justification for the thunder and tumult of clanky boots and the chaos of iPhone shutter snaps inside the Whitney Museum of American Art, you will forgive, for at least fifteen minutes, waiting in line to enter. After all, judging by the snaking, interminable lines feeding into the museum, New York never quite shook Warhol fever, and the winter months invite the sick to flock indoors to warmer lodgings. On view until March 31, the Museum’s brilliant and monumental, retrospective “Andy Warhol—From A to B and Back Again” is essential viewing for anyone curious about the genealogy of our modern, image-centered culture. Old questions are answered yet again, and new ones are asked. The collection of prints, paintings and other art objects partitioned to three floors of the Museum is astounding. Warhol mainstays are present, of course. Expect to rendezvous with hyperchromatic clones of Chairman Mao or to complete the suggestive glance of an equally color-stained Marilyn Monroe. However, you should expect a few wonderful surprises. New to me is a loving sendup of Marcel Duchamp’s “The Large Glass,” which Warhol has cheekily entitled “The Large Sleep.” For this standing glass work, Warhol has appropriated the structure of Duchamp’s most recognizable chef d’oeuvre while replacing the Frenchman’s mechanical cast of characters with two stills taken from his 1963 film “Sleep.” In the comparison of these identical images, the film stills give themselves to movement in their spatial difference, just as they provide for
new kinds of superimpositions in their translucence. Looking through, the piece allows an infinite many views to the space it occupies, and also to the collection of items within. Whether in the reflection of Monroe’s face or in the gallop of the many ever-eager gallery hoppers, the stills offer themselves as something to be emblazoned upon the environment—a certified stamp of the feigned approval that one has come to associate with Andy Warhol and the factory “brand.” To study Warhol’s work is to be initiated into his materialist gaze. One arrives at a way of seeing the world as a collection of marketed objects, a way of seeing not too dissimilar from our own. But for Warhol, whether his objects have their own purposes or simply persist
The Whitney Museum of American Art is located at 99 Gansevoort St. in the West Village. “Andy Warhol—From A to B and Back Again” is on display until March 31st.
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are video rarities, each worth watching in full, like the often-licentious factory diaries and Warhol’s short-lived “Fifteen Minutes” produced for MTV. David Bowie, Grace Jones and Debbie Harry all make appearances alongside factory mainstays like Allen Midgette and Andy Warhol himself. There is no escape from celebrity and excess. Before you leave, don’t forget to watch Warhol eat a Burger King Whopper. You have to observe and hear it in person. Another one to view in the flesh: the “Orange Car Crash Fourteen Times.” This infamous 1963 work of silkscreen ink on two large canvases functions with numbness as its fulcrum. Its eye-pleasing organization and ceaseless representation of death inoculate the art object against direct representation of tragedy to the point of its rebirth as a fashion object. Just observe the many college-aged visitors to the Museum who, dressed to the nines and always in pairs, patiently wait their turn to pose in front of the twisted, bloody wreckage for Instagram clout. The left-hand canvas is covered with these fourteen, identical images while the right-hand canvas is a blank, imposing orange rectangle, roughly equal to the dimensions of your smartphone screen. She stands with her back to the work of art. Her friend lines up the shot as she doles out researched glances committed to muscle-memory, well-aware that taking the photo is only half the look. The shutter snaps sound at half-volume: another kind of screen test. This time it is digitally, and this time it is for immediate mass consumption. The women switch places and judiciously apply their filters. They upload, and the “Orange Car Crash Fourteen Times” takes them with it.
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Album, live set challenge listeners, experiment with form Jimmy Christon Columnist
elseq 1–5
Autechre Warp
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a way in which its hectic oscillations work very well against whatever you are doing. I read, work out and just listen to this music— Autechre is, without a doubt, the best headphones artist. My second piece of advice is to listen to “elseq” before trying out the live sets. The record is one of the best collections Autechre has put out. The value in a band like Autechre—value more advertisable than the sheer fact of creating art—is that they push the boundaries of music. Melodies and rhythms are the basis of all of Autechre’s music, and tracks like “feed1” and “c16 deep tread” are great examples of this. There is
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
eviewing Autechre is probably the most hopeless endeavor I’ve made for this paper. Autechre is, without a doubt, one of the most experimental and “out there” groups that I listen to. I know with certainty that if someone goes out, inspired by this review, and dives into “Exai” or “elseq 1-5,” they will feel as though they have jumped into some about-to-blow underwater volcano. Needless to say, this music is weird, as is a lot of the music I play—my housemates (bless their souls) have only asked that I change the music twice. Once was for Animal Collective (hilarious, I know), and the other was for Autechre. The Animal Collective track they requested I turn off was the opener from their album “Spirit They’re Gone, Spirit They’ve Vanished,” which features an incessant, highpitched ringing. I understand why my housemates objected, but the Autechre wasn’t the ringing of “Cloudline” or the continued assault that is the “Grantz Gaff” EP. It was just some cut from their masterpiece, “Confield.” The point here is that Autechre’s music enjoys a very justified reputation of inaccessibility. As of now, they have not decided to change that. Autechre have released live sets before, and this one comes from their “elseq” album tour. That album is five hours long. There were about six live sets already re-
leased from the “elesq” tour, but nonetheless, this new release has a 19 hour runtime. If that sounds daunting, then imagine trying to listen to it—or at least the 19 hours of live material—multiple times in one week just to inform one ~900 word review. Again, I’m faced with the fact that the only people who are going to dive into it are probably already into Autechre, and everyone else will be very put off by these descriptions. But hopefully something about this piece will convince people to go against the grain. The first thing to know is that this Autechre serves nicely as background noise. It isn’t ambient by any stretch, but there is
English electronic duo Autechre released their twelth studio album “elseq 1-5” on May 19, 2016. They followed the record with seven live albums from the “elseq” tour.
something very groovy going on here, something very enjoyable. The manner of that enjoyment is what is up for interpretation. The other thing that “elseq” brings to the table is that it introduces you to what makes Autechre a great musical act. The record is impressive on its own, but the way it plays with sonic ideas throughout its five-hour runtime is truly a joy to behold. Each live set is an hour of experimentation and riffing on a common theme. Many of the tracks on here come from “elseq.” Most notably, “c16 deep tread” is interpolated throughout the entirety of the live sets, which are infectious in how they repeat and reinterpret these beats and songs across 19 hours. The only thing I can really compare these live sets to is “elseq” itself. The live sets from the Portland, Chicago and Denver shows in particular feel like stripped-down and spacier abstracts of the album’s contents. When a track like “c16 deep tread,” which is already bare-bones, comes on 30 minutes into the Denver set, it feels like a path of rocks strewn throughout the desert. With “elseq” and these live sets, the duo crafted music that speaks to new feelings developing in the modern age. This isn’t music made for machines—it’s music made for people. The Live set covers and “elseq” are all abstract collages of geometric shapes, but as a whole they make a larger picture that appeals to something more. Beyond serving simply as adequate covers for the odd music inside, the covers stand alone as some pretty wild artwork. Whatever you take away from it is your own, just like everything else with Autechre. Go listen to “elseq.” You’ll be surprised by what you find inside.
Supernatural horror novel depicts queerness, femininity Madeline Seibel Dean Copy Staffer
Her Body and Other Parties
Carmen María Machado Graywolf Press
A
“[A]s the #metoo era makes people re-evaluate the relationships between men and women, this book is as relevant as ever.” In “The Husband Stitch,” a woman wears a ribbon around her neck that she never takes off. Throughout the story, the narrator’s husband and son speculate about the ribbon’s purpose, berating the woman about why she wears it. Despite their constant questions, it remains unexplained until the end. The
writing has a careful, hesitant narration style that simply states things as they are. Along the way, the narrator recounts different parables along with her own story, adding to the metafictional element and making the reader doubt their own expectations surrounding heterosexual relationships. Machado uses similar techniques to play with a different relationship: that between reader and story. The last piece, “Difficult at Parties,” begins in the hospital after the main character has suffered some kind of trauma, which Machado never describes. Rather, the story focuses squarely on her recovery, and, after a while, the audience almost feels guilty for ever even wondering why she’s in the hospital. The penultimate story, “The Resident,” takes many of these themes and weaves them together into one cohesive whole. It is the only tale without any obvious paranormal elements. I would say that it doesn’t need them, but that would imply that the supernatural is unnecessary to the other stories. In reality, the extranormal is an integral element to the other stories, for, without it, the stories wouldn’t exist. Similarly, its absence is important to “The Resident.” Despite the apparent normality of the subject matter, Machado still manages to create suspense by reflecting across time and circumstance the common narrative of young people exploring their sexuality, so as to distort it and subvert it to the maximum extent. I had the fortune of hearing Machado speak about her book at an event hosted by Lighthouse Writers, a lovely nonprofit based in my hometown of Denver, CO. She seemed vivacious and steadfast. I was particularly impressed with the delicacy of her style in “Her Body and Other Parties” and the range of writing that her work represents.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
As social justice has become a part of mainstream discourse on almost every subject, and especially as the #MeToo era makes people re-evaluate the relationships between men and women, this book is as relevant as ever. However, “Her Body and Other Parties” is more than just a momentarily topical piece, as it combines elements of horror and universal relatability to create a set of unsettling stories that will surely stand the test of time.
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
uthors are often challenged by the task of writing in a way that allows readers, who may not have personal experience with the topic in question, to connect with stories. This issue is all the more pressing for storytellers from underrepresented backgrounds. Carmen María Machado’s book of short stories, “Her Body and Other Parties” (2017), aims to represent the queer and female experiences by selecting settings which are entirely outside of our world. All but one of the stories features a supernatural or otherwise unrealistic element that underscores, or is analogous to, a form of oppression. Throughout all of the stories, odd symbolism and Kafka-esque images abound. A woman has a baby but doesn’t know from where it came. The fat removed during a surgical procedure takes up residence in another woman’s attic. Girls disappear slowly and are sewn into prom dresses. “Inventory” is an especially odd story. It tells the tale of an apocalyptic plague that almost destroys humanity almost entirely through sex scenes. Despite this limited form, the author manages to thoroughly develop her characters and world. “[The virus] is only spreading through physical contact,” one of the characters says, “If people would just stay apart.” (Machado, “Her Body and Other Parties,” 2017). The contrast between staying apart and coming together is present throughout much
of the book, as it is centered on women and their various romantic, sexual and platonic relationships. All of the stories are unsettling, like a horror movie crafted from the female experience. The longest story, “Especially Heinous,” is written in the form of a series of “Law and Order: SVU” plot synopses. It uses actual episode titles from the first twelve seasons with invented storylines. Like the show, this piece deals with two police officers working primarily on sexual assault cases. However, while these characters are still metaphorically haunted by the crimes with which they’ve had to deal, they’re also literally accompanied by ghosts and parallel versions of themselves. Through this format, the TV series is in almost direct conversation with Machado’s writing, questioning how that show can exist in our current climate and why the longest-running iteration of “Law and Order” is the one focused on sexual assault. In this way, the story constantly challenges rape culture.
“Her Body and Other Parties,” a 2017 short story collection by essayist and critic Carmen María Machado, juxtaposes supernatural elements with the mundane.
February 14, 2019
Campus Canvas
ARTS A weekly space highlighting the creative pursuits of student-artists
Page 9 submit to misc@vassar.edu
Excuse me, What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever eaten?
“Boiled sheep’s tongue in a broth.” — Leah Eskinder ’19
“Over-salted sweet potato cubes.” — Elba Pascual ’19
“This broccoli.” — Annie Xu ’22
“Seaweed.” — Issachar Beh ’21
“Licorice.” — Neville Lee ’22
“Frog’s legs.” — Emma Brodsky ’20
Camryn Casey Media Studies Major She/her/hers Class of 2021 “My work explores emotion through color.” MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Hannah Gaven, Humor & Satire Hannah Benton, Photography
FEATURES
Page 10
Quite Frankly Frankie Knuckles
Features Editor Quality Advice-Giver
Have a question you want answered? Submit your quandaries at http://bit.ly/2RFnXfk Hey Frankie, There’s some QUALITY people on this campus that I would love to get to know better, but IDK how to approach them. I meet them at events and stuff and every time I pass them on the sidewalk on my way to class, I just kinda shyly smile. How do I ask these lovely people for lunch or something? Please help! Sincerely, Shy Extrovert Dear Extrovert,
Q
Features Editor
O
n this Hallmark holiday ostensibly dedicated to love, many of us probably find ourselves in a quandary. Should we buy into this rampant consumerist fervor and attempt to prove our love to others via capital, or should we stay true to our Vassarian anti-establishment views, thus foregoing the chance to show someone how much we care? What if I told you there’s another option. What if I told you there is an economical and eco-friendly alternative to show someone that you are affectionate enough to gift them something pretty. You interested? My answer: the recycled paper flower bouquet. For this craft, which is perfect as a stand-alone gift or as an additive to what you may or may not have already planned for your beloved, you will need just two (or possibly three, if you’re fancy) items: • Three standard pieces of paper. My example repurposes a handout of Marx’s “Theses on Feuerbach,” a printout of Vladimir Lenin and a political map of Asia. • Some form of a fastener. I’ve used string, but you could just as easily use tape or staples; anything that will hold several leaves of paper together for the long term. • (Optional) Some kind of long, straight thing to serve as the stems of your bouquet. Shown here are some pencils that no longer fulfil the needs of the masses. These materials will yield two medium
flowers, but you could easily make more smaller ones, or a single larger one. For a varied bouquet, play around with the starting paper size, or add extra sheets for more fluffy finished blossoms. Optionally, you could also color the pages beforehand for a coherent, put-together palette. Here’s what you’ll need to do. 1. Cut each of your sheets of paper in half, cutting on the long side so you end up with pieces closer to squares than to long rectangles. If you don’t have scissors, then you should be able to fold the pieces in half hamburger-style both directions a couple of times, lick the fold and just pull it apart. 2. Make two piles of three sheets each. Each will become its own flower. It’s not crucial that the sheets line up perfectly with each other, but for the sake of the aesthetic, just do it already. 3. Work with one pile at a time. Holding all the sheets together, fold them collectively in an accordian fashion, as follows. Fold up about an inch of paper, then fold that and the next one-inch section back. Continue until you’ve folded the paper all the way from the bottom to the top. 4. Pinch what were once the top and bottom of the paper together in the middle of the width of the paper. Tie the string (or fastener of your choice) around the middle so that fanning out the accordion folds will create a circle. Make sure the center is securely fastened, or your flower will be dismantled just like
the bourgeoisie after the coming proletariat uprising. Optional: If you have scissors, then you can return the burgeoning blossom to its flat accordion form and trim either end to a uniform shape; this will enhance the floral look of the finished product. 1. This part requires a delicate touch. Carefully expand the accordion into a circle. Gently lift up one layer of paper from one side of the circle, and bring it up to the middle. Try not to rip the paper, but also get it as close to the middle as you can. Be sure to fluff it up sufficiently. Repeat this for the other side, so that the whole circle has one layer of “petals.” 2. Repeat the process from step five until all the layers have been brought to the middle. Be sure to arrange the “petals” in an aesthetic manner. 3. Repeat steps three through six with the second pile of sheets (or as many times as you’d like). Optional: If you’d rather a more bouquet-like final product, grab a long stemlike item such as a pencil. Using glue or tape, affix the item to the center of the flower from the bottom. You could then arrange your flowers as you wish and tie the bouquet together with ribbon or yarn. You might consider making just one flower to affix to a headband or gift box for a lovely finishing touch. Voila! You now have a beautiful Valentine’s Day gift for your communist lover, and you didn’t even have to sacrifice your peace, land or bread.
Frankie Knuckles/The Miscellany News
Here are the materials required to get started on your Communist Fold the paper in alternating directions until you have brought crafting. Be sure to preserve resources by repurposing existing papers. the top and the bottom together, in the fashion of a true Marxist.
Frankie Knuckles/The Miscellany News
P.S. People who seem to make friends effortlessly have the same worries about social interaction. We’re all just trying our best.
Frankie Knuckles
Frankie Knuckles/The Miscellany News
Best Wishes, Frankie
Marxist crafts forge truly red Valentine’s
Frankie Knuckles/The Miscellany News
uite frankly, you’re not gonna love my advice. Sure, WikiHow can tell you a million ways to go about this, but there’s still only one solution: Channel Shia LaBeouf circa 2015, and just do it. As far as I can tell, there’s no non-awkward way to initiate a friendship (but maybe I’m doing it wrong). You just have to select a person, say “Yep, that’s the one I’ll befriend today!” and jump right in. On a less theoretical level, however, I can offer you some tips to get started. The first step is to move beyond the shy smile. Perhaps you could work up to a wave, and then to a quick verbal greeting. My go-to is “Hey, how are things going?” I’ve said that phrase to countless people, and usually they’ll respond in some way, even if it’s not substantive. Your primary goal here is to facilitate a back-andforth with your conversational crony, not for an improvised-yet-perfect Shakespearean sonnet to spring forth between the two of you. If these are, as you say, people you’ve met before, you’ve already got an in-road to interaction. Try your best to remember names so that you can address your soon-to-be friends by their monikers. This cultivates a sense of personability and shows them that you care. Once you’ve got that down, sprinkle in some references to the commonality you share, whether that’s the event at which you met or the class you both have had together. Once you move past the “superficial interaction in between classes” stage, you’ll come to the “it’s okay to walk up to you when I see you in the Deece” stage. From there, your path gets much easier; you’ll be just a stone’s throw away from asking them to lunch. Whether or not your aims with hypothetical lunch are romantic, state your intentions in clear, unmistakable language. Something like, “I think you’re cool, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you over our past social interactions. Would you like to go on a lunch date?” keeps the two of you—or more than two; live your life—on the same page. The most important thing I can tell you has to happen at each stage. Make sure you’re not just speaking at someone, but to them. Give them space to respond, and listen intently when they do. Apart from just being a good habit, listening will help you learn about them. You can bring those tidbits back around in future conversations.
February 14, 2019
Step five requires patience; if you rush this paper revolution, Your craft is complete! Marvel in the glory of accomplishment, everything we’ve spent our collective energies building will collapse. but remember the paper that was torn by your righteous efforts.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
February 14, 2019
FEATURES
Page 11
Social Media Spotlight: Lost Deeceware finds loving home
Andrea Yang
Guest Columnist
ave you ever spotted a lonely Deece mug lying prostrate on the lawn, or a wandering white plate perched on top of a wall? As we all know, Deeceware is prone to travel through and get lost on campus. From flying as frisbees, to becoming sleds to glide down Graduation Hill, to reincarnation as a precarious pile of porcelain Jenga, their forms transcend utensils in our illustrious dining hall. Instagram account abandoneddeeceware records this phenomenon for posterity through a series of posts. The admins, who prefer to retain anonymity, termed their account as “authentic. unaltered. beautiful.” The compilation of Deeceware out of its natural habitat has repeatedly challenged our imagination and our definitions of art. While Vassar inhabitants’ ingenious uses of Deeceware break the utensil typecast, they should also be mindful when constantly absconding with them in
“from the grace of the deece this mug did fall, into the grassy knoll before rocky hall. as the semester nears its end, remember: don’t let down our deeceware, friends.”
Courtesy of abandoneddeeceware via Instagram
H
tow. Haven’t you seen the sad signs begging students to return itinerant plates, flatware and skillets? A takeaway message for fans: please remember to return the traveling Deeceware back to its rightful home! To better understand this aesthetic yet concerning account, the Miscellany News reached out to abandoneddeeceware. The Miscellany News: When and why did you first come up with the idea of abandoneddeeceware? abandoneddeeceware: We came up with the idea of what became [at]abandoneddeeceware about two years ago, but it took another couple [of] months to actually develop and create the Instagram account. As for conception, we began to take notice of the large amount of Deeceware scattered around campus and were honestly a little impressed with how far and wide it managed to get. The Misc: What were your initial expectations for the account? abandoneddeeceware: Initially, we
Courtesy of abandoneddeeceware via Instagram
Courtesy of abandoneddeeceware via Instagram From abandoneddeeceware: “in memorium [sic]: we honor the service you have done, and hope you make it home soon, son.” Poetry accompies each post on the account.
didn’t have any expectations for the account. It was more just for us to express both our frustration and sheer amazement. Mainly we were hoping that this would encourage our abandoned Deeceware to be abandoned no more. If last year’s plastic fork fiasco has taught us anything, it’s that we need to return our Deeceware to the Deece. The Misc: Who’s mainly responsible for managing the account? Is it a team effort? abandoneddeeceware: There are multiple [people] running the account, and it most definitely takes teamwork to come up with those highly questionable captions. The Misc: What’s the best thing about your role? abandoneddeeceware: Writing those poems, if you can even call them that, is definitely a favorite part of the whole thing. They are tragic sentences in the English language, but they’ve become part of what makes the account. We also really enjoy attempting to make the pictures aesthetic, with our limited artistic abilities. The Misc: Do admins post their own discoveries, or is it mostly submissions? abandoneddeeceware: We post a mixture of submissions and photos we take ourselves. It’s really fun to see the submissions because they can be of Deeceware in the weirdest places, or just because they’re completely not aesthetic, which is a joy. The Misc: Would you retrieve the found deeceware and return it after taking the photos? abandoneddeeceware: That is a very good question. We don’t normally return the deeceware, which would make sense. Instead we just observe it. The Misc: Do you have a favorite post so far? abandoneddeeceware: One of our favorite posts is the one of the mug under the tree right outside the Deece. Remembering when we found that one it was so sad, like seriously so close yet so far. The Misc: How do you envision the future of this account? abandoneddeeceware: Is there a future of [at]abandoneddeeceware? We don’t even know.
Admin’s choice: “so near to the doors of the deece, is a cup under a canopy of branches. o lord, this carelessness must cease! put an end to these glum circumstances.”
StuFels instrumentally inspire incoming class’ impressions STUDENT FELLOW continued from page 1 than the one they experienced. All these reasons, and many more, are valid. Vassar’s Student Fellow program is unique because everyone comes in with different backgrounds, passions and experiences. This diversity creates a fulfilling experience, both for incoming students and for StuFels. Being a Student Fellow is much more than just a job. You are the first person with whom first-years are in contact before they even step onto campus for their first semester. This responsibility carries a lot of weight. I say this because you are instrumental in forming their impression of Vassar. After being here for at least a year, you have adjusted to the school, its environment and college life. My StuFel experience emphasized the fact that while you already have an opinion of Vassar, first-years do not. It is important to let them formulate their own opinion of the school and all that comes with it. Your job, as the Student Fellow, is to be supportive and create an environment where your fellowees can explain what they love about the school, as well as
what they think needs to be changed. Actively listening to your fellowees forms a huge portion of your duties as a StuFel, so you have to be prepared for that. Another consideration to make about the role of a Student Fellow is that you exist as part of a support system, not as a parent. Sometimes you want to jump in and guide your fellowees in the right direction, and while you can try, first-years are adults and are going to make decisions for themselves. It can be difficult to let people find their own way, especially when you think about your previous experiences and what worked best for you. In this moment, it is important to remember that your fellowees are going to need to figure some things out for themselves. Tactics that got you through your first year might not be effective for people who function differently from you. This is why creating an open environment where people can share and bounce ideas off each other is of utmost importance; it allows your fellowees to benefit from an array of strategies to solve a given problem. My favorite part of being a Student Fellow is the fact that I have met so many
first-years. When I applied, I never imagined that I would meet so many other first-years besides my own fellowees. As a StuFel, I have met so many of their friends, as well as other first-years. You can never have enough friendly faces around campus in general, but being a StuFel lends the added bonus of preexisting familiarity with the new faces even before syllabus week. While the Student Fellow position is an amazing experience, it does come with considerable stress. As part of your responsibilities, you might be forced to make tough decisions. In case of an emergency, Student Fellows are expected to act, not stand idly by like some of us might be accustomed to do. Situations that require quick responses could be when one of your fellowees is sick and they need medical attention or when you go into the bathroom and find someone passed out on the ground. Seeing someone in a state of distress is scary and time sensitive, which adds pressure to daily life as a StuFel. Sometimes you have to make the tough decisions and accept that people might be upset with you afterward, even if you did
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
what you thought was best. Another part of being a Student Fellow that I have found particularly rewarding is getting to know other StuFels and House Team members from houses other than the one in which I live. The summer training and other bonding experiences serve an important purpose. These events allow you to meet people you might not have met before on campus. Not only is it great for you to bond with other House Team members and StuFels across campus, it is also a fantastic way to introduce your fellowees to other first-years in different houses. While being a Student Fellow comes with a lot of responsibility and expectations, it is also incredibly fun. It may seem like a daunting task at first, but everyone adapts in their own way and brings something special to the job. You also are not alone. Your role revolves around collaboration with not only your peers and fellowees, but also with the administration. Juggling all of these different perspectives is challenging, but ultimately rewarding. Truly, the Student Fellow position allows you see Vassar through a different lens.
FEATURES
Page 12
Misc Quiz by Frankie Knuckles and Duncan Aronson
submit to misc@vassar.edu
Where does your heart fall on the scale of love? For each of the following items that you’ve done for/with a significant other (or crush), give yourself one point.
February 14, 2019
When the robots take over, what will happen to you?
Word
on the street
“I will fight back emphatically, and then be killed because I don’t understand computers.” — Rachel Walker ’21
“Have more faith in the government than I normally do.” — Weller Henderson ’22
p Pined over someone p Kissed someone in a beyond friendly way p Bought flowers for someone (extra point p Held hands with someone for roses) p Traveled with a partner p Bought chocolates for someone (other p Danced with a partner than yourself) p Conducted serious romantic research p Bought or made a card for someone (like finding your S.O.’s best childhood photo) (extra point for a large poster/sign) p Knitted/crocheted a gift p Watched a romcom with a significant p Made art for your S.O. other p Done homework while cuddling with p Started a show that you only watch someone together p Taken a quiz to see how romantic you are p Gone on a Deece date “Serve them as our Outcomes: p Gone on a Retreat date A Pirate's Life For Me new gods.” p Gone on a Crafted date — Declan 0–5 points: *plays Queen’s “Somep Texted your S.O. regularly Cassidy ’22 body to Love”* Your love WiFi has 5G p Had a snap streak or equivalent streak capabilities; you just have bad reception2. Frilly detail work with your S.O. 34. ACROSS right now. p Posted a sappy selfie of you and your S.O. 36. 3. Bully 1. Italian mountain chain 5-15 points: You have a solid grasp on p Gifted your S.O. a framed photo(s) 39. 5. "Welcome Back" and "Return" “Love Actually.” “Kramer vs. Kramer” 4. is Catchin' z's p Confessed your love to an S.O. still a mystery. p Gifted a non-jewelry luxury item (watch, 40. 5. UN banking organization band 15-25 points: You are learned in the ways handbag, etc.) to your beloved 43. 6. Capital of Ukraine 9.(extra Gunpowder magnates Duof love. Love is more than an emotion; it’s p Gifted jewelry to your beloved “Finally have your craft. point for precious gemstones) 13. Gaelic speaker 44. 7. Even less divisible someone to talkby two 25-30+ points: You’re actually the p Prepared a meal for your beloved to with the same 46. 8. Carsickness 14. The originalromantic Goldfinger interest in Netflix’s upcoming p Shared fine wine with your beloved emotional range as 47. 9. Dursley me.” matriarch original romantic comedy which will have p Made a dinner reservation 16. Historical periods everyone on Twitter drooling over you for p Purchased a large teddy bear17. American unit Harrison 49. 10. Verbal — exam of land area like a year. (Peter Kavinsky, is that you?) p Purchased any heart-shaped parapherOstrosky ’22 50. 11. California wine valley 18. Sick and tired nalia
12. Anastasia's father, for one 19. A single appetizer 15. One-'eyed' ghost 20. What Doc McStuffins does 22. About fluid reservoirs in a cell 21. A joker, or an eight 23. A lock of some hair 24. Incredible poem 25. Wearing 26. Televised “Eat Your Heart Out”encore by Benjamin Costa 27. Lingerie piecesand Frank 27. Malicious microorganisms where blood leaves 30. Heart part blood enters 52. Hewhere makes Hall’s dreams come 28. Heart 44. part Burn the outside ACROSS true 46. First murder victim 1. Italian mountain chain 29. Wrath of the Emerald Isle 33. Modern54.cricket bowling style Peeping tom 47. Relating to a heart part 5. “Welcome Back” and “Return” 55. Heart partof that moves blood 49. NotFaso, automatic 31. Burkina formerly 35. De facto capital Bolivia band elsewhere 50. Member of the stage crew 9. Gunpowder magnates Du32. Upper Massachusetts, 37. Fine or59.studio profession Parkinson’s medication 53. Spoken like the youths of 13. Gaelic speaker Spooky lake formerlytoday 38. Given a62.hand 14. The original Goldfinger 63. Hole punchings 16. Historical periods 41. Filled cooked pastry 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 65. Plagues or afflictions 17. American unit of land area 66. Holiday hotels 18. Sick and tired 42. Periods and semicolons 67. In a way 19. A single appetizer 13 14 45. Arabian68.people, to Ancient At the peak 20. What Doc McStuffins does 22. About fluid reservoirs in a cell Romans 69. Cleanly executed 17 18 70. Old-fashioned interjection 24. Incredible poem 48. Put in jail 71. THESE THINGS 26. Televised encore 20 21 22 27. Malicious microorganisms 51. Theater with food DOWN 30. Heart part where blood enters 52. He makes Hall's dreams come 1. Nutrient ooze 33. Modern cricket bowling style 24 25 26 2. Frilly detail work 35. De facto capital of Bolivia true 3. Bully 37. Fine or studio profession 27 28 29 54. Peeping tom z’s 4. Catchin’ 38. Given a hand 5. UN banking organization 41. Filled cooked pastry 55. Heart part that moves blood 6. Capital of Ukraine 42. Periods and semicolons 33 34 45. Arabian people, to Ancient elsewhere 7. Even less divisible by two 8. Carsickness Romans 59. Parkinson's medication 37 38 9. Dursley matriarch 48. Put in jail 62. Spooky10.lake Verbal exam 51. Theater with food 42 43 44 45 11. California wine valley 63. Hole punchings Answer to last week’s puzzle 12. Anastasia’s father, for one A Pirate's Life For Me 65. Plagues or afflictions 15. One-’eyed’ ghost 48 49 50 A S C U S S H A G S T E T 21. A joker, or an eight C H E S T C O X A T 66. H R Holiday U hotels 23. A lock of some hair R I N S E U P O N R I O T 52 53 25. Wearing 67. In a way E N T R E A T I N G U N D O 27. Lingerie pieces P Y A L O C 68. K E At R the peak 28. Heart part where blood leaves 55 56 57 E M C E E A D A P T 29.executed Wrath of the Emerald Isle 69. Cleanly O R E A D S P U N S U G A R 31. Burkina Faso, formerly R U D E B I E R T O T E D 62 63 70. Old-fashioned interjection 32. Upper Massachusetts, I N T E G R A L S C A R D S formerly THINGS L E A K Y U S THESE S O L 71.
“I sell myself into artistic slavery.” — Philip Macaluso ’19 Ben
Costa, Frank
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The Miscellany Crossword
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OPINIONS
February 14, 2019
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The Miscellany News Editorial Board Presents... In honor of Valentine’s Day, The Miscellany News would like to express its appreciation to the many people that fill the Vassar community with love and joy. Members of our staff have written short Valentines to folks on campus who particularly brighten their college experience. On Valentine’s Day, and every day, The Miscellany News encourages students to express their gratitude for the incredible individuals that make Vassar so special.
“I really appreciate all of the effort put in by Safety and Security and other Vassar workers to keep this campus a safe and pleasant place to live. From shoveling snow at an incredibly early hour to to addressing issues with our rooms, they keep this campus running from behind the scenes. Students don’t often get to see these workers in progress, but their mark is still there in the salted pathways and working electricity, among many others. One time, the light in my room went out, and although I put in a request, I changed it out with a bulb that I knew was the wrong type. I left a note explaining that I had put in a replacement, but that I wasn’t sure what kind of light bulb was appropriate. Not only did they fix my light, but they also left me the original box so I could find the right bulb again if I needed to. The thoughtfulness and hard work of these Vassar members never ceases to amaze me, and I know that other students feel the same way. Thank you!”–Laila Volpe, Contributing Editor
Roses are red, violets are blue, thank you faculty & staff for all that you do!
“I was almost loath to contribute—I’ve had so many wonderful, attentive, accessible professors that I couldn’t possibly thank them all in less than a page. I’d like to give special shout-outs, though, to my boss, who has offered me an invaluable chance to research fascinating subjects about which I otherwise never would have learned; my thesis advisor, who is bursting with brilliant ideas but not an ounce of pretension; and my major advisor, whose engaging teaching style and high yet realistic standards drew me to choose my course of study in the first place.” –Talya Phelps, Contributing Editor
“During the college search process, some four or five years ago, it became clear that I wanted a small school such as Vassar. I liked the idea of not being one of tens of thousands. I had an image in my head of being on a first name basis with, like, the Career Development Office. In reality, it hasn’t been school offices with which I’ve made ties but rather the various college workers with whom I interact on a with day- to- day basis. Those little relationships are what I’ve valued most. Relationships with people like Majlinda in the Retreat, who always warmly greets me by name and always asks how I’m doing and, recently at least, reminds me that I don’t have much time left. What a gift to be able to have little laughs and little moments of connection as I rush around our little campus. So thank you, Majlinda. And thank you all.”–Myles Olmsted, Sports Editor
“The promise of accessible professors drew me to Vassar, as I’ve always learned more from connecting with instructors. Already, I have enjoyed so many wonderful experiences. But one professor has truly become a mentor, even in the short while I’ve known him. Professor Osman Nemli stays engaged when I sit in his office for three hours rambling mostly about my problems and a little bit about philosophy. Whenever I have questions, whether or not they have anything to do with his classes, he takes the time to listen and offer thoughtful, helpful responses. In my musings of what college would be like, I never expected to gain such a fulfilling, lovely bond, and I am extremely grateful for it.” –Frankie Knuckles, Features Editor
“No one has helped me more in all my four years at Vassar than my major advisor, Professor John Long. Ever since I took his Perception & Action class—which is tied with Professor Ken Livingston’s Intro to Cognitive Science class as my favorite course of all time at Vassar—I felt inspired to pursue the complex yet amazing world of cognitive science. I knew that he would be an important person to me the moment I learned that his research interests align perfectly with mine. After meeting with him regularly to talk about everything from course schedules to fun tidbits about our lives, I soon found myself seeing him almost every day. No joke, I honestly think that I have spent more time with my major advisor than I have with any of my Vassar friends. It came to a point where I would regularly do homework in the workspace right outside his office, and he would routinely offer me tea and chocolates. It’s because of him that I got the chance to meet so many incredible people outside of Vassar and learn more about the world. People have told me that they were envious of my connection with John, and I don’t blame them—he has done so much to enrich my experiences at Vassar, and I owe him for all of my successes here.” ~`–Steven Park, Opinions Editor
Don’t let Trojan decide which condoms you should use Austin Gibbs
Guest Columnist
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idden in the depths of Jewett lies the Campus Health Organization for Information, Contraceptives and Education (CHOICE) office, which houses nearly 50,000 different safer sex supplies, including condoms, dental dams and lube. CHOICE is a campus organization that believes that both safer sex and sexual health education is integral to creating a sexually healthy and informed student body. Using an anonymous form, students can request up to 12 items per order and have the option to choose from nearly 52 different safer sex products. CHOICE’s treasurer Juliana Sprague ’21 reports that the club added 14 new supplies to the menu this year alone. However, placing an order for an “assortment of condoms (standard size)” yields an envelope filled with mainly Trojan ENZs, which serves as CHOICE’s go-to condom. This isn’t only the case with CHOICE. In fact, Trojan is currently the brand that first comes to mind for most consumers all throughout the U.S. market. So how did Trojan become the default condom brand for so many users nationwide? The early 2000s saw a rise in ultrathin condom sales as Mayer Laboratories introduced their Kimono Microthin, a condom they advertised as being “so thin and silky they’re practically not there” (East Bay Express, “Go thin or bust,” 11.18.2008). By 2005, Mayer dominated the market, leaving other companies like Trojan on the clock to come up with inventive promotional strategies. In response, Trojan provided retailers with kickbacks, which are under-the-table bribes made in exchange for control over how
stores displayed their products on shelves. By maximizing their shelf space, Trojan reduced the likelihood that customers even saw other products, since the average person takes less than 10 seconds to pick out condoms. As a result of this marketing strategy, other condom brands’ sales decreased significantly. For example, LifeStyles saw a reduction in their U.S. market share from 13 percent to 7.7 percent during the period Trojan offered kickbacks (SFGate, “Condom companies battle over retail displays,” 04.23.2011). When faced with accusations of bribery, Trojan denied that their planogram marketing scheme was done to intentionally enhance their sales. Instead, they argued that this shelf arrangement model aimed to encourage stores to group condoms together by brand and allow customers to find their preferred brand more easily (SFGate). Fortunately for Trojan, the Federal Trade Commission closed an antitrust probe filed by Trojan’s competitors in 2012, finding that no further action was warranted to address their usage of planograms and kickbacks. As a result, Trojan now owns a vast majority of the condom market share—over 72 percent by one estimate (Technavio, “Condom market in the US 2017-2021,” 11.2017). Meanwhile, Kimono, Lifestyles and other brands that comprise the remainder of the market have fallen behind Trojan in both sales and shares. The same pattern applies to Vassar. Recent data from the 2017-2018 school year collected by former CHOICE co-presidents Matthew Rodman ’18 and Ashley Carey ’18 shows that Trojan dominates the overall percentage of supplies ordered, following national trends in public consumption. While Trojan con-
doms account for only eight percent of the total products offered (CHOICE also offers safer sex supplies from LifeStyles, Kimono, ONE and Sheer), students overwhelmingly chose Trojans as their most popular condom brand. Trojan Magnums accounted for 21.1 percent of total orders from last academic year, followed by Trojan ENZ (CHOICE’s default condom) at 14.2 percent. As a whole, Trojan products constituted 38.5 percent of all total orders (including condoms, dental dams, lube, etc.) and 51.6 percent of total condom orders alone. Interestingly enough, national trends also show that younger people are having less sex. In 2018, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that condom use among sexually active high schoolers has declined from 63 percent in 2003 to 57 percent that year (CDC Features, “CDC releases youth risk behavior survey results and trends report,” 06.14.2018). In addition, recent data shows that the perceived quality gap between Trojan and Durex is also diminishing. Using a quality scale between 0 to 36, studies on U.S. men aged 18 to 34 have found that Trojan’s quality score has recently dropped from 27 to 20 in a matter of months (Forbes, “Fewer young men are talking about Trojan and Durex,” 02.12.2018). Recent trends in CHOICE orders are similar. With the introduction of 14 new products in the past year, CHOICE has noticed an uptick in the number of LifeStyles and ONE condoms ordered by students, especially after the introduction of two particular LifeStyles condoms—LifeStyles SKYN and LifeStyles SKYN Large. Recent editorial reviews rated the LifeStyles SKYN condom as the best overall condom to purchase
in 2019, stating “[T]he thin feeling of the condoms and the ample lubricant on them makes the SKYN pack their go-to choice” (Verywell Health, “The 10 best condoms to buy in 2019,” 02.05.2019). Because condom preference can be subjective, different condom brands would ordinarily be preferred by different people. However, with Trojan’s current domination over condom advertising and visibility, people might not realize that other brands are just as good and reputable. As a result, they may continue to use Trojans even when they aren’t ideal for what they might be looking for. Using the correct condom is important for comfort, prevention of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and, if utilized properly, as an effective method of birth control. Wearing a condom that is too big can cause it to slip off, and wearing one that is too small may result in condom breakage. Condom sizing may be confusing because different condom manufacturers use slightly different measurements and terms to describe the size. Once you find the condom brands that come in sizes closest to your measurements, you may want to try a few different types to determine which options give you the best mix of comfort and sensitivity. Condom material (latex, polyurethane or polyisoprene), design (textures and shape) and built-in lubrication are all other factors you may want to consider when choosing a condom. It is important to remember that what works for other people might not work for you! Therefore, you should not necessarily wear the condoms that large corporations pressure you into using, but rather try new brands and focus on your own sexual health and pleasure.
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
OPINIONS
Page 14
February 14, 2019
Vassar-approved JYA programs require greater scrutiny Talya Phelps
Contributing Editor
Courtesy of Courtesy of Petr Vilgus via Wikimedia Commons
[CW: This article discusses sexist, ableist and racist speech.]
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he teacher—a professional filmmaker in the Czech Republic, a graduate of Prague’s Film and TV School of the Academy of Performing Arts (the fifth-oldest film school in the world) and a professor there for decades—would not stop talking about my classmate’s butt. As part of the Film Production in Prague curriculum, administered by CET Academic Programs in concert with the school (known as FAMU), my classmates and I attended a lighting course at historic Barrandov Studios in preparation for shooting the short films that would be the capstone projects to our semester abroad. In one exercise, we cast a spotlight on my classmate as she lay prone on a prop bed, but our professor pointed out that we had angled it so as to inadvertently highlight her rear end, drawing attention away from the more important aspects of the shot. We fixed the positioning and all was well. A week later, however, he was still hung up on the episode—which he alone had found hilarious. Unfortunately, this sexually-charged commentary proved to be the least of the disrespectful rhetoric doled out by professors during my program. After returning from my time away in Fall 2017, I could not forget the inappropriate conduct that my classmates and I experienced on what felt like a daily basis, and I unfortunately failed to adequately report this behavior to my home institution at the time. Thus, before I graduate, I would like to call on Vassar to increase vetting of its approved study-abroad programs, to strengthen its process of collecting student evaluations and to offer increased support to JYA-ers before, during and after their time away— lest someone undergoes an experience so negative that it casts a pall over the rest of their academic career. The general consensus among my peers in Prague was that the study-abroad program suffered from two main problems: disorganization and offensive, antiquated rhetoric. Having heard from friends who participated in other study-abroad programs, it seems to me that disorganization is a common complaint and often inherent to the nature of Study Away. The latter issue, however, bears further investigation by Vassar (and by all institutions that list the program among their approved options). I wish I had written down each offensive comment I witnessed, but a few loom large in my memory. The aforementioned cinematography professor would often warn the class, “Girls, don’t listen!” before launching into an off-color anecdote. In one such story, he received a call from a friend who claimed to be at a bar with a couple of gorgeous women, but when my professor arrived, he exclaimed: “What, you mean these witches?!” (This tale was told to illustrate the fact that we can’t always trust what we see in our camera’s viewfinder, because someone else might see it differently.) He was frequently vexed by our lack of knowledge, given that many of us hailed from liberal arts schools that emphasize theory over practice, leaving us with a dearth of technical skills. One day, after a student called out the wrong response to a question, our professor exclaimed in a fit of ableism, “That answer is totally autistic!” Also notable was the casual racism evinced by some of our should-be mentors,
Above is the Film and TV School (FAMU) of the Academy of Performing Arts, located in the Staré Město (Old City) area of Prague. Students on the CET Film Production program attended classes led by FAMU professors in this building. which, given the Czech Republic’s status as one of the most xenophobic nations in the European Union, comes as no surprise (Expats.cz, “New Series of Maps Reflects High Levels of Czech Xenophobia,” 08.16.2017). In our discussion of lighting skin tones during cinematography class, one of my classmates inquired about lighting subjects with complexions darker than white. In response, the repeat-offender professor called out a Black woman in our class, noting that her skin tone would be “no problem” to light, but that we would run into trouble if we had someone darker, like a “Nubian.” In acting class, three Chinese women—all of whom attended the same college consortium—partnered up for an exercise; our professor declared happily, “Oh, the Asian section! I love it!” As a white, cis, straight woman, I was frustrated by the sexist microaggressions perpetrated by my professors, but my alienation must have been a fraction of that experienced by my classmates whose identities were multiply targeted by their ostensible role models. While I was away, I took advantage of the primary channel for communication between JYA-ers and Vassar—namely contributing to The Miscellany News’ study abroad blog, “Far and Away”—but I largely avoided writing about the problematic aspects of the program. Following the conclusion of the semester, I aired my concerns through the two avenues available to me at that time: an online evaluation administered by CET and one provided by Vassar’s then International Program Specialist Susan Stephens. I was not contacted by Vassar about the content of my evaluation, and I never approached the office staff to follow up. Moreover, I was not warned before my departure about the potential issues with my program, despite the fact that I took part in a mandatory pre-departure workshop. By contrast, my classmates from American University told me that they had signed a waiver acknowledging their awareness of the program’s shortcomings with organization. All in all, the communication channels between the Office of International Programs (OIP) and students participating in Vassar-approved (but not Vassar-administered) programs— at all stages of their experience—offer much room for improvement. According to an emailed statement by Director of International Programs Kerry
Stamp, students are still urged to complete a voluntary program evaluation survey, and these responses are reviewed within a few weeks. In addition, she noted that students can be in contact with the OIP via phone or email while away, or in person after they return through OIP walk-in hours or appointments. Undoubtedly, the OIP makes an effort to be accessible to JYA-ers, and their efforts are not disastrously far behind those of peer schools. According to research I conducted via phone calls when I was employed by the OIP in Fall 2016, Yale disseminates newsletters to abroad students covering a range of topics; Wellesley emails students after departure about what to keep in mind and to ensure that their international contact information is up to date; Brandeis exchanges calls and emails with students while they are away; and Amherst encourages abroad students to share their experiences on the College’s social media and Instagram as well as administering an evaluation. These are all efforts more or less on par with those of Vassar.
“[M]y alienation must have been a fraction of that experienced by my classmates whose identities were multiply targeted by their ostensible role models.” Where Vassar can do more, however, is in its programming for returners. Especially for students who may have experienced discrimination or harassment, a supportive forum in which to share and commiserate is invaluable, and preferably one that is more officially established than simply walk-in hours and appointments. This meeting could take the form of a Welcome Back dinner for returners, as is available at Arcadia, Tufts and Loyola Marymount Universities, among others, or a class such as Providence College’s “Crossing Borders,” which (at the time of my research in 2016) offered students a safe space to debrief. Even pre-planned group or individual conferences with OIP staff would be greatly appreciated. This last suggestion would also serve as a more robust method for data
collection than the one-off evaluation that I completed and offer an opportunity for the OIP to gain a fuller picture of student experiences. Conversely, it could serve as a forum to unpack concerns raised in the evaluations. According to Stamp, “In response to information collected [in student evaluations], OIP contacts the student and/or relevant institution/organization abroad to communicate about any concerns and gather additional information within a reasonable amount of time.” While I do not recall the exact content of my evaluation in 2017, I am reasonably sure that I spoke to the inappropriate behavior I observed, which raises the question: What sufficient cause would it take for the OIP to open communication with a student? All this said, however, there are signs that positive change is afoot. According to Stamp, the office’s new Assistant Director has already conducted research on current best practices of re-entry programming, which will be offered for students returning from abroad at the beginning of the Fall 2019 semester. Moreover, Stamp pointed to a special advisory committee, created in 2018, that contributes to assessing the list of approved programs and makes recommendations to the office’s director. With input from the committee and from academic departments and multidisciplinary programs, the OIP revised its list last year. Yet, it bears noting that CET Film Production remains on the roster of programs approved by Vassar. While the new developments in the OIP are certainly promising, they ought to have come about many years ago as an integral part of the College’s abroad programming rather than as an afterthought. In this piece, I am sharing my experience with the program not to unequivocally condemn it (although I do wish to warn prospective participants about what they might be getting themselves into); my experience belongs to me alone, and I cannot speak to the opinions of other students. Rather, I urge the OIP to revisit its methods for data collection and communication with JYA students, such that the College might gain a fuller picture of each program it endorses. By doing so, it would be able to offer more comprehensive information and support to students embarking on what may well be the greatest adventure of their college career.
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
February 14, 2019
OPINIONS
Page 15
Join now: Fight for national climate action at Vassar Melissa Hoffmann Guest Columnist
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Courtesy of Melissa Hoffmann The Sunrise movement works to mobilize young people in the fight for climate action by pushing for renewable energy, economic equality and social reform. Vassar College has recently joined as one of the hubs for its campaign.
Courtesy of Melissa Hoffmann
ooking for the answers to the meaning of life? Concerned that you have spiraled into a trap of apathetic complacency and will never get out? There is no better way to turn your life around than fighting against the greatest threat to humanity of all time—say it with me—climate change (The New York Times, “Biggest Threat to Humanity? Climate Change, U.N. Chief Says,” 03.29.2018)! I first made a connection between climate change and my local area when I learned about the effects of Hurricane Sandy years after it happened. Sandy was the fourth most expensive storm in the United States and led to at least 147 deaths (CNN, “Hurricane Sandy Fast Facts” 10.29.2018). For me, the hurricane was so bad that it took out our house’s power for a week. However, such an intense storm was unusual for our area. Now I know that it is only the beginning of the changes to come as well as a reminder of the changes that are happening right now. My father would tell me stories about the times he would go ice skating on a pond behind our house as a kid during the winter. But, by the time I was a kid, all the water in the pond had dried up. During my middle school years, my father and I would create a makeshift ice rink out of an outdoor basketball court by filling the rimmed pavement with water. However, winters eventually became too mild and too variable for the rink to last more than a week without melting. I remember one year on my birthday in early June when my father nearly had heat stroke from working outside all day in the sun. He had water at his disposal to cool down, but extreme heat was not something he was accustomed to. Due to where we lived, we were supposed to be one of the lucky ones who wouldn’t experience any drastic changes when it came to climate change. We live at high elevation, have plenty of access to water and are surrounded by trees everywhere. But, if this is what we experienced, then we can certainly no longer ignore the ramifications in other parts of the country. Clearly, climate change is threatening our lives right now, and you bet it will threaten our futures, too. But how bad is it really? According to a 2015 study, changing temperatures and climates will make it more difficult to grow crops like hops, which are used to make beer, as well as cocoa and coffee (The Guardian, “No more beer, chocolate or coffee: how climate change could ruin your weekend,” 06.09.2015). In addition, rising sea
levels will contaminate our already-scarce fresh water supplies and displace millions of people around the world. Living will become more expensive, and wealth inequality will expand, increasing poverty. No one wants to think about how their friends and family may suffer from health problems related to pollution or lack the funds needed to afford healthy food and clean water. However, our government’s long-standing incapacity to address climate change has forced many of us to confront these prospects on a daily basis. For those who want to learn more, the nonprofit online magazine Grist broke down how climate change will affect each region of the United States based on the Fourth National Climate Assessment written by the U.S. Global Change Research Program in 2018. The report describes in detail how the Northeast will suffer the highest rate of ocean warming, the Southeast will experience record-level extreme heat, the Northwest will face more wildfires and so on (Grist, “We broke down what climate change will do, region by region,” 11.29.2018). However, I have placed my hopes in the potential of young people. I think we are smart and capable. We’ve done a lot of cool things already, like March for Our Lives and fighting to make Black Lives Matter. You have done a lot of cool things, don’t deny it. I think the next cool thing that we will all do together is make our planet habitable for ourselves, our neighbors and maybe our favorite plants and animals, too (love you, polar bears). Making the planet livable for future generations would be great as well, but let’s face it, we’re already struggling to care for the people who are currently on the planet. So for now, let’s focus on ourselves (who doesn’t love that?). To care for ourselves, we need to think communally, not individually. Realize that the actions of your community members, your Congress members, your Uber drivers and your Starbucks baristas are impacting you and that your actions impact them. We need to engage each other in conversations concerning our lives. We need to demand justice, build hope, share knowledge and celebrate success. We need to believe that keeping global warming to 1.5 degrees Celsius above pre-industrial levels is achievable. One way that young people are fighting against climate change is by joining the Sunrise Movement, a coalition of young people mobilizing to stop climate change and create good jobs in the process. According to Sunrise, “[F]ossil fuel CEOs and corrupt politicians have been blocking actions to stop cli-
Created to provide a visual representation of people’s frustrations with climate inaction, this graphic, which serves to promote the Green New Deal, draws attention to the destruction of the planet and the urgency of the climate crisis. mate change and consolidating power in the government.” To stop this system, we need a movement of young people to make climate change an urgent priority across America, end the corrupting influence of fossil fuel executives on our politics and elect leaders who will stand up for the health and well-being of all people (Sunrise Movement, “We Are Sunrise,” 2019). If you want to enact change, then there is no limit to what you can do. You can call out your congressional representatives for not being aggressive enough on climate policy and urge them to support new legislation like the Green New Deal. Drawing from Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s famous New Deal, the Green New Deal would spark a nationwide mobilization of Americans to restore prosperity to our land, economy and infrastructure. Proposed by the Justice Democrats and other progressives like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the Green New Deal calls for a rapid decarbonization of our economy by 2030 and for the creation of equitable renewable energy and a political system that guarantees jobs and healthcare to all Americans. It is the first proposal of its kind that addresses the climate crisis at the scale necessary to keep warming to at most 1.5 degrees Celsius above pre-industrial levels. While a majority of Americans have agreed to this deal, not all members of Congress have supported the cause (Vox, “The Green New Deal, explained,” 01.07.2019). To change that, show them who their constituents are. Tell your friends, family, professors and anyone else with whom you interact that you are concerned and want to do something meaningful about climate change.
A climate policy that refuses to clearly follow the science of the 2018 report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change and the Fourth National Climate Assessment would be morally unjust. To completely stop carbon emissions and reverse the rate of climate change, we need to reimagine an economy that is not built for growth, but instead for sustainability (NPR, “Kate Raworth: How Can We Create A Thriving Economy For Ourselves And The Planet?” 12.07.2018). We need to reimagine a political system that is not run by corporate interests but instead by the communities directly impacted by the policies designed by our government. This sounds crazy, obviously—overhauling the economy and stopping fossil fuel lobbyists—but we deserve better. And we need to believe that, too. I’m fighting for a Green New Deal and stand with Sunrise because I believe we as young people have the power and the will to change the conversation on climate change. I want to live in a world where society prioritizes people’s health and prosperity of people over the profits of polluters and where hurricanes and droughts don’t kill people. By bringing communities of people together from across the country, sharing our stories and our goals, we can change the course of our future to control the greatest threat to humanity of all time. The Sunrise Movement, Vassar Greens, Vassar, Students for Equitable Environmental Decisions (SEED), DivestED, Our Climate, Environment America and many other local and national organizations recognize our power as a collective to demand radical climate justice. We are excited for young people like you to join the fight.
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
HUMOR & SATIRE
Page 16
February 14, 2019
Breaking News
From the desk of Hannah Gaven, Humor & Satire Editor
Students eat each other, citing cannibalism as their only lunch option after Tasty Tuesday cancellation
Blair Webber
Hater Who Is Gonna Hate Hate Hate
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hose who keep up with my personal life will remember that I finally declared a film major. For many, this came as a surprise since I am still not really sure how to open the camera on my iPhone, but I’ve thought it was a natural fit from the beginning. It hasn’t been without its pitfalls, though—like any niche in our society, joining the ranks of film majors comes with its difficulties and unrealistic expectations. Trying to fit those has been exhausting, and so I feel I’m finally ready to come forward and say it: I don’t understand the films of the French New Wave. This must come as a shock. You’re probably leaping out of the Deece chair you’re sitting in and screaming. Some of you are probably tearing up the Misc as we speak, but I’m done hiding it. I don’t get French New Wave, and honestly, I don’t think I have to in order to be a good film major. I can see the raised fingers and hear the “well, actually”’s as I type this, so let me clarify: I do understand French New Wave’s historical context, but I still don’t get the movies themselves. So you can pipe down with your “everybody knows they were rebelling against the Tradition of Quality” and your, “it creates a cinematic language all on its own responding to the ubiquity of Classical Hollywood Narrative.” I know those things, you know those things, everybody knows those things. We learn those things at an early age, in preschool even: how to tie our shoes, how to carry a cup with two hands and how the intricacies of the regulations placed on the French film industry by the U.S. Government after World War II later gave rise to opportunities for New Wave directors. We’ve all heard
this a million times. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is I don’t understand the weird cuts and the so-called “storylines” that loosely tie these films together. Why do I have to watch a boy run for so long? I don’t want to look at him running for so long. I want a nice, coherent narrative that I can sit and laugh at and cry with—and the crying absolutely cannot be due to boredom or confusion. Maybe I’m being narrow-minded or reactionary or whatever, but it seems to me that the French New Wave just isn’t that interesting. I’m done pretending to care about Jean Luc Godard or Francois Truffaut when I could be paying attention to French things I really care about, like pastries and cheese. Although, I just gotta say, I think some patissieres are really taking it too far. What is wrong with a regular chocolate éclair? All of a sudden mille-feuille have all sorts of wild colors on top of them and there’s croquembouche built to look like the Hogwarts castle. When I go into a patisserie, I want a nice, simple eclair that I can recognize all the ingredients in, and I don’t think that’s too much to ask for. It’s impressive enough that the patisserie got the puff pastry to puff, so why do they have to be so extra and mirror glaze every single item they sell? So I guess I don’t like the French New Wave films or French baking, but you know what, I don’t have to like every movie or filled bun that comes my way. I can pick and choose, and I choose not to be confused by weird close-ups or repeated shots or deconstructed chocolate raspberry tarts. Leave the tarts and the movies constructed, and I will be happy. Just because I don’t want the mundanities of everyday life shoved in my face at 24 frames per second doesn’t mean I don’t have taste.
Womp-Womp World Frank/The Miscellany News
French New Wave confuses, as do complicated pastries
This advertisment comes to you from Harlow’s troubled past as a model. He was the face of capitalism. The worst part: His ads included disclaimers.
Top tips to survive singledom while disrupting love this Valentine’s Day Brought to you by Life Coach Tanya Kotru Gode
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t’s that scary and annoying time of the year again, when one only feels validated and worthy if they have some sort of romantic affiliation. Yes, I’m talking about Valentine’s Day, one of the most infuriating days for single people like me, the day when a single person’s self-worth ludicrously falls lower than temperatures did during the recent polar vortex. Well don’t worry, my single superstars, because I am here to help you fight that! In all honesty, feeling low on Valentine’s Day is a very ridiculous concept in my logical opinion because even the most amazing people pull themselves down on this silly day. Imagine you’re a single Barack Obama (hypothetically speaking—Michelle and Barack are great together!), and on the 14th of February you feel inferior to Donald Trump just because he’s not single. Unimaginably absurd, right? Anyway, I am here with some friendly advice on this annoying day. If you don’t have a human valentine, get
a non-human one. Who made the rule of Valentine’s Day having to be humans-only? I say you get out there and find yourself a stress-free inanimate valentine. It will never argue with you, and you’ll enjoy peace and quiet! For example, I have decided my valentine is a giant stuffed dog who lives in my suite. I cuddle with him every day, and he provides a lot of warmth—much more than an actual human male would pffff. Your valentine could be a stuffed animal, or maybe even pillow, too. They’re very comforting! Or it could even be a rock. Or an academic subject. Or food. If you want some tips on what to tell others, you could say “I’m spending Valentine’s Day with my beloved bread, my bae-gel.” (Yes my puns are horrifying. No wonder I’m single.) Drink your loneliness away. No, of course I don’t mean alcohol! I would never promote underage consumption of alcohol. You could drink hot chocolate or Diet Coke or whatever makes you happy on
this sucky day. Just don’t break the law, and stay safe! (No I was not sipping wine while writing this. Or maybe I was.) Scream. Forget primal scream during finals week—let’s have a Valentine’s scream. I say we all gather at Sunset Lake on Valentine’s evening. If you don’t like that, it can also be making loud noises, rapping, opera singing—whatever helps you let it out. We just have to be loud enough to disrupt all romantic walks at the lake, mwahahaha. Have a romantic Valentine’s dinner, for one! I think this is my best piece of advice. Get yourself a special dinner for two for one! It’s perfect because you get double the food, which is presumably some fancy Valentine’s Day food, and you can even spread it out to cover two or three meals during the day. Plus you can dine in peace and don’t have to deal with someone else yakking. I think Tokyo Express has heartshaped sushi as a Valentine’s Day special (I swear this is not a promotion), so that
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
could be fun to try. I’ve always wanted to gobble up little hearts! Yum yum! Rant about Valentine’s Day for the Misc. Hey, it’s a productive use of your time, and writing is beneficial. Or you could ask the advice column for tips to deal with Valentine’s Day. Although is that really necessary after all my amazingly brilliant advice? Alright. Ridiculous advice aside, I have some real and wholesome ideas for you— don’t be so hard on yourself! Enjoy this day by celebrating all the existing love in your life. It could be love from your friends or family, and no, that’s not lame. All love is good and important! And also, treat yourself. I was serious about the dinner for two for one! Take some time on this Valentine’s Day for self-care and appreciation, because your happiness matters a lot. And ok, I don’t like germs, but if you assure me you’re germ-free, then I’ll give you a big bear hug (I do love hugs). Let’s make this day a good one. Happy YOU-lentine’s Day!
February 14, 2019
HUMOR & SATIRE
Page 17
Gale-force wind batters student as she crosses river to Deece haven Izzy Migani Baby Carrot
“Y
Courtesy of Coast Guard Compass
ou might want to get your wits about you!” My roommate flung the dorm door wide open. “There’s a frightful storm, and I fear that Lathrop might flood, so...” He shrugged. “Best be ready for whatever. Half of the systems are already down.” I glanced out the wide window. My eyes widened. “Oh, damn.” The streets were filled by twin rivers spilling out of the gutters on both sides. Clouds soaked inky black with rain rolled up above. Although the clock on the wall read 7:34 a.m., it seemed like night outside. Just as I had this thought, lightning burned across the clouds’ low bellies and lit the scene brighter than midday. My heart flipped over. I coughed roughly. Cautiously, I set my feet on the carpet and stepped lightly toward my closet to get dressed. I knew the thunder would come no matter how quietly and carefully I moved, but I still kept light on my feet to try to avert the oncoming crash. Lightning lit the room, and a beat later, thunder roared and shook the floor. I coughed again, deep and shuddering. After tiptoeing through getting dressed, I crept down the stairs. I kept braced against the banister, trying not to cough too violently when the thunder rolled through. I came into view of North Drive to see a foot of water lapping in the narrow street. Immediately I regretted getting up that morning for Biology. I thought about skipping,
As the campus is overtaken by rivers and hurricanes, one brave student managed to make it to the Deece. Meanwhile, I don’t go to class if it’s below 32 degrees. but I persisted. Thinking quickly, I zipped up my coat to my nose, slightly resembling a baby carrot. The Lathrop doors opened stiffly, sweeping a thin spray of water into the flooded hall. Thankfully, the alcove room was higher than the rest of the ground floor. But the outdoors loomed ahead. Thunder rolled. The Deece laid seemingly miles away, mocking me. I took my first step into the gale, picking my way toward the heart of the storm. The wind whipped at a decibel never before heard. The journey through the gale became exponentially more difficult. I could no longer listen to approximately 45 seconds of music on the walk over. I flinch.
How will I be able to entertain myself now? The heart of the storm was drawing ever closer, but the promise of Deece fries drew ever nearer. I looked down at my shoes; the only accessory I had forgotten was rain boots. “No!” I cried out to the gale, “The first rainstorm that might best me. These are $300 shoes!” Finally, I had stumbled upon the Holy Land. The end was in sight. There it was, the door to the Deece entrance, light emitting from every corner. Thankfully, it was elevated a few steps, and the floor was fairly dry. The rivulets made a labyrinth of the stonework ahead. The battle wasn’t over yet. The large, curved window in the upper
HOROSCOPES
wall and ceiling let out the dim, grey light of the Deece. I quaked in anticipation. “Dear God,” I uttered in sheer wonder, “It’s beautiful.” I began to make my way up the marble steps, the rain doing everything in its power to put itself between my mouth and those luscious Deece fries. I fumbled with my umbrella and bag. I didn’t have enough hands to open the monstrous wooden door. So, I had to do the most impossible, most draining, most dangerous task—I had to wait for someone else to open the door. I waited and watched the storm through the window. It had been maybe been three minutes since this journey began, but it felt life a lifetime. As low thunder rolled louder and louder, my resolve weakened. Was I ever meant to devour those tremendously delicious fries? Was it only a pipe dream? The door creaked, my heart pounded. Light pooled out of the opening. It was glorious. It was remarkable. It was the inside of the Deece. I took my first step into its hallowed halls. The light was blinding, but it was no matter. There, out of the corner of my eyes, the silver bowl of fries glistened. I made my way over, slowly. Rain dripped off of every edge of my coat. The bowl drew near. I was now within three feet of the bowl, my eyes tearing up with anticipation. I could almost taste the golden-brown rectangles. I stopped, peering into the container that held my destiny. The bowl was empty.
Hannah Gaven
amateur astrologist
ARIES
March 21 | April 19
TAURUS
April 20 | May 20
GEMINI
May 21 | June 20
CANCER
June 21 | July 22
LEO
July 23 | August 22
VIRGO
August 23 | September 22
I’ve just recently found the fuzzy sock lyfe. It’s the only reason I wake up in the morning. However, I could just wear fuzzy socks to bed, and then there would be no reason to get up. I can’t wait until you start using them too! I was trying to hang up a sweater in my closet last night. The hanger was warped, so I attempted to bend it back into place, but it snapped. I guess the moral of the story is to stop trying to make things fit into your idea of what they should be.
Sometimes you just want to nap, and that’s okay. Even if you decide to nap through class, odds are that your professor won’t take attendance, and you can just read the chapter that you missed later. This is just me trying to excuse my lazy behavior, because I know you Cancers are watching me. I want to drop one of mu classes, but I can’t because it’s required for my major. I’m trying to figure out if I need a major or whether I can just take a bunch of dance classes. If you’re facing a difficult decision, then change around your whole life to accommodate it. Time’s a-ticking. There’s no getting the twenty seconds back that you just spent reading your horoscope this week. What a waste of time, if I do say so myself.
You will find love this week; however, they won’t want to make your relationship Facebook official. This is because they are married with four children. Do yourself a favor by killing their spouse. You need a Valentine.
LIBRA
September 23 | October 22
SCORPIO
October 23 | November 21
SAGITTARIUS
November 22 | December 21
You have no job prospects, no romantic partner and will soon lose your vibrator. The only way to make this week a good week is to do some door-to-door stripping. Make a little extra money, and maybe find a significant other.
Practice moaning sounds for a surprise sexual encounter this week. You never know who it’ll be with, so make sure you practice growling and playful biting in case they are into that sort of thing.
Why can’t we still give other students in our classes Valentines? I don’t plan on giving them something because I know I won’t get anything in return, but you should get your classmates some Valentines. I promise everyone will love you. You know what is a good Valentine’s Day
CAPRICORN surprise? Giving your significant other noth-
December 22 | ing. They will be shocked, and that’s really the January 19 point of this amazing holiday. I still don’t understand why we don’t get the whole day off of school because I need that time to cry.
AQUARIUS
January 20 | February 18
PISCES
February 19 | March 20
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
You will watch a very slow and painful death in the coming days. It’ll be your grades. Sorry, that’s what the stars foretell. Thank God Almighty that I’m not a Sagittarius.
The stars have an announcement: Astrology is fake. Remember this week that your horoscope is a lie. Nothing is real. Everything is fake. Even reality isn’t real.
SPORTS
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February 14, 2019
VC athletics receives 5,960 donations in 27Brew2 campaign FUNDRAISER continued
from page 1 improved from last year. Fifteen of the 20 teams that participated increased their number of donors, with the men’s soccer team increasing their donors by 556 percent and the men’s and women’s rowing team boosting their gifts by 403.8 percent. Seven other teams brought in over $15,000. The money garnered over the 27 hours will help contribute to various expenses that the teams incur throughout the year, such as spring break trips or replacing old and dilapidated gear. Some notable alumni, such as Steve Hankins ’85, who is the Alumnae and Alumni of Vassar College (AAVC) president, donated $2,700 to the Brewers Fund. Kyle Giunta ’08 donated $1,000, and so did Leigh and Randy Porges ’78. The Brewers Fund, which helps pay for various athletic department expenses, ranging from maintaining the fields to the RISE program, raised $22,093 with 155 donors contributing. While the two $5,000 incentives were the most sought-after rewards, the fundraiser hosted several contests throughout the day that helped contribute to the amount teams were able to raise. Director of Athletics Michelle Walsh donated $500 to the team that boasted the most advocates and personal plea videos. The baseball team and the women’s basketball
team split that prize. Another contest was funded by Tim Kane, the VP of Alumnae/i Affairs and Development, to see who could get the most donors in 27 minutes. The men’s lacrosse team earned this victory and added $500 to their fundraising effort. They also saw a generous gift of $1,000 donated by Mark Gottlieb ’98.
“I think that the success of the fundraiser is indicative of the support that exists for and within our athletic community.” Some of the most creative videos of the campaign came from the men’s soccer team, who raked in $17,535 with an impressive 606 donors. The active social media campaign from this Brewers squad helped contribute to their massive increase in donors, from 109 last year to 606 this year. Junior Henrik Olsson attributed this success to the massive increase in effort on behalf of all the members of the men’s soccer team and coaches this year. Not only did the team have a successful campaign in terms of donations, but also
the group enjoyed putting everything together and using the fundraiser to bond. “We tried to have fun with the 27Brew2 by making our own unique team videos and personal pleas. We enjoyed the whole experience, and it definitely brought the team closer together,” Olsson commented. Junior Grace Goodwin-Boyd, in fundraising with the women’s lacrosse team, enjoyed the same aspect of the process that Olsson did. “My favorite part of the campaign was seeing everyone on the team work together to ensure our success,” she said. “Each person really rose to the occasion and contributed, whether with a thank you video, an idea for an incentive or simply by getting family and friends to donate. Although the men’s soccer team fell short of winning most-improved team, working toward this goal was a huge driver, pushing them to put in a concerted effort to increase their number of donors this year. “A big portion of that was stemmed by [Head Coach Andy Jennings] and our new assistant coach Matt Guinto who both emphasized how important this was to us,” Olsson explained. “Matt worked incredibly hard on the social media side to promote the fundraiser event and to get all of the players excited about it.” Men’s soccer was also motivated by the
prospect of a potential international trip next spring, which could be partly funded by donations. Not only does 27Brew2 benefit the athletics teams and department at Vassar, but it also shows the incredible network of alumni still invested in their former teams. Olsson described how the number of donors directly relates to this tight-knit community of the alumni. “I think the success of our campaign shows how close and connected the Vassar Soccer alumni are. They always have been supportive of our program, and it helps our team improve every year,” Olsson commented. “The Vassar Soccer community is one of the biggest reasons we were very successful this year, and it shows that it will grow stronger in the future.” Walsh expressed gratitude for the ability of current athletes to connect with the alumni. It was this connection, along with overwhelming support of the athletics teams and departments, that helped ensure the triumph of 27Brew2. “I think that the success of the fundraiser is indicative of the support that exists for and within our athletic community,” Walsh remarked. The 27Brew2 campaign helped bring alumni, friends, family and student-athletes together and has provided the athletics department with room to grow and provide necessary services.
Valentine’s letters from the National Breakup Association (An aside: if you’re looking for something a bit weightier, last week’s column was about death. Please don’t tell me, like I’ve been told on Valentine’s Days past, that I’m not serious enough.) Category One: “It’s not you, it’s me.” Courtesy of Keith Allison via Flickr Big man Anthony Davis had trouble breaking away from his toxic and volatile relationship. Others, like Kristaps Porzingis, found it easier to pack their bags and dip. Emmett O’Malley Columnist
Preface: I wrote this column in accordance with the length of the song “Jealous” by Labrinth. If you finish the column before the song is over...cool. If you can’t finish the column before the song is over...less cool. Enjoy.
T
his column will be distributed, in its widest form, this Thursday, Feb. 14. It so happens—and I just found this out about 20 minutes ago—that this Thursday, Feb. 14 is Valentine’s Day. It so happens— and I just found this out about 20 minutes ago—that Valentine’s Day is the official holiday of chocolate-covered strawberries, corny notes of pseudo-sincerity and reflections on the sometimes vicious endings of past dalliances. It also so happens—much to my Jewish mother’s chagrin—that I have some spare time (and some spare charm) on my hands this Valentine’s Week. The purpose of this column is to put that spare time to good use. I can think of no better deployment of my carefully rationed almost-intellect than a column of made-up breakup texts pertinent to the NBA trade deadline and the sad songs most applicable to their gloominess. Without further ado, my most shockingly off-the-rails column to date…probably best enjoyed after the Valentine’s Day DBN.
To: Marc “On My Heart” Gasol From: The Memphis Grizzlies The Breakup Note: “Marc, you deserve better than Me(mphis). You carried Me(mphis) through so much, with no one thanking you but Me(mphis). And you have nothing to show for it. You and your beautiful, toned arms deserve better. You do. I just hope you have something left to give. I hope you didn’t give it all to me, only for me to waste it all away. I’ll miss you, but it really isn’t you. It’s Me(mphis).” Soundtrack: Adele—“Someone Like You.” To: Nikola “It’s Like You’re My” Mirotic From: The New Orleans Pelicans The Breakup Note: “I just have another person on my mind right now, and because of that, it is not fair for me to keep this going. Goodbye, Nikola. I hope you liked my flirty Justin Timberlake reference. I hope your next love can make those kinds of jokes, too. Maybe I just wasn’t ready for you.” Soundtrack: Justin Timberlake—“Mirror” (but only if you sing “Mirror-tic” every time). Category Two: “I thought you were the one, but I was so, so wrong.” To: Markelle “It’s Neither of Our” Fultz From: The Philadelphia 76ers The Breakup Note: “You dazzled me. That’s why I wanted you, more than anyone. I gave up so much just to be with you because you were the man of my dreams; your game was pure and smooth, and your love was explosive. And then it wasn’t. I’ll never know what we could’ve been because you just weren’t the same once we were together. I’ll never forget you, but until you can find the man you were before we were together, this
just can’t be all that we wanted it to be. The only thing Magical left here is what’s in Orlando...” Soundtrack: Whitney Houston—“Didn’t We Almost Have It All.” To: Ben “I Don’t Love You Any” McLemore From: The Sacramento Kings The Breakup Note: (I only put good ol’ Ben in this column because this nickname is just too good.) Soundtrack: Faith Hill—“Like We Never Loved At All.” To: Thon “Bad Love” Maker From: The Milwaukee Bucks The Breakup Note: (See: McLemore, Ben.) Soundtrack: Halsey—“Bad At Love” (obvious, but still good). To: Stanley “This Joke Was Deemed Inappropriate’” Johnson From: The Detroit Pistons The Breakup Note: (See: Maker, Thon.) Soundtrack: Jibbs—“Chain Hang Low” (this is not actually a sad song. Unless you really want it to be, I guess). To: Jabari “I Wish I Were Sorry” Parker From: The Chicago Bulls The Breakup Note: “I wanted it to work out. I really did. I had my eyes on you for so, so long. But you aren’t who I thought you were. At least I’m comfortable saying this to you—I know that you won’t get defensive.” Soundtrack: Jorja Smith—“Let Me Down.”
The Breakup Note (and an actual text a Knicks fan (probably) sent): “You scrawny ingrate. You know what, I DON’T EVEN CARE that you don’t want to be with me. If you’re not going to be with me at my Luke Kornet, you don’t DESERVE me at my Zion Williamson. I’m sorry you were tired of me trying so hard to be bad just for you. I’m sorry you don’t like life in the big city. I bet your mom will just LOVE meeting Dallas. So cute. So fun. Totally. Have fun down there, you wishywashy pterodactyl. You gave me so much hope, but I guess I wasn’t enough for you. No...You weren’t enough for me! I can be more than enough for the next one who comes along...” Soundtrack: Leona Lewis—“Take a Bow.” Alternative Soundtrack: Demi Lovato—“Stone Cold.” Category Four: “I found someone better.” To: Dennis “JR” Smith Jr. From: The Dallas Mavericks The Breakup Note: “I found someone better. Get rekt.” Soundtrack: Passenger—“Riding to New York.” Category Five: “Can we please try to make it work?
To: Kyrie “If You Like It Then You Should’ve Put” Irving “On It” From: The Boston Celtics The (Not) Breakup Note: “I know that you think you’re unhappy. I just want you to remember how much you loved me before. I want you to remember Category Three: “Yes. No. I agree. I’m all the things that we said to each other. HAPPY you’re leaving me. I’m HAP- I meant those things. I think you meant PY you wanted out. I never wanted them, too. We can still be us again, Ky. to be with you in the first place. Not Please let us be us again. You’re my (flat) at all. Yes. Goodbye. I hope you can world.” settle down with someone more in Soundtrack: Future—“Turn On Me.” your…‘league.’ I never loved you. Not at all. Now I have more money to To: Anthony “Markain” Davis spend on people who DESERVE it.” From: The Los Angeles Lakers The Thirsty Note: To: Kristaps “Texting Me, Please” Por“Break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored.” zingis Soundtrack: Sam Smith—“Leave Your From: The New York Knicks Lover” (sorry, Ariana).
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
February 14, 2019
SPORTS
Page 19
La Liga, Premier League’s battle for supremacy rages on Desmond Curran Guest Columnist
I
Courtesy of Wikipedia Commons
keep having the same argument with a friend of mine, Maddie, over whether the Premier League or La Liga is the best soccer league in the world. She thinks that the Premier League is better, arguing that the race for the title is more thrilling and competitive, whereas La Liga is just a snoozefest of Barcelona and Real Madrid passing the title between each other. She believes that the competition between “the top 6” of Manchester United, Manchester City, Chelsea, Tottenham, Arsenal and Liverpool is what makes the Premier League (PL) better. My take, however, is that La Liga is by a country mile the superior league. I believe that the average La Liga team is better than the average PL team, and that the actual quality of the league is what makes it the best. Full disclosure: Maddie studied abroad in London, and I studied abroad in Madrid. I don’t think either of us would claim to be making impartial arguments in favor of one league or the other. We can never quite reach a conclusion to our argument. (Granted, I’m usually the one to bring it back up, much to her resigned annoyance) Much of this is due to the fact that we get sidetracked with semantical topics like how “competitive” the PL actually is and can never move beyond to discussing the core of it. Should we define a league based on the level of entertainment it provides neutral fans? Or should we define a league based on the quality of its participants? For starters, Maddie and I both agree that the PL is, on average, a superior product for viewers. The marketing, accessibility and production value for the average
Pep Guardiola is hoisted up by his Barcelona players in 2011. After stints at Barcelona and Bayern Munich, Guardiola has brought his style of soccer to the Premier League. PL game is above that of an average La Liga game. There are a lot more casual fans who will tune in to watch a game between Cardiff and Bournemouth than there are who will view Leganes and Valladolid, simply because the Cardiff game will be on NBC Sports, whereas the Leganes game might be available on beIN Sports. Some fans might even tune in to the Leganes game for five minutes and promptly leave upon hearing the siren song of Ray Hudson’s warbling, instead retreating to the soothing comfort of Robbie Mustoe. There also isn’t as much suspense in La Liga as in the PL. Barcelona has won seven of the last ten years. When Barcelona falters, the other heavyweight of Spanish soccer, Real Madrid, has been there to clean
up. On the other hand, at the start of each PL season, there is a sense of possibility that any one of the top six could realistically win the league. There is an appearance, at least, of parity. In terms of the quality of the teams, however, La Liga reigns supreme. Part of the reason that La Liga is so apparently top-heavy is because Barcelona and Real Madrid’s are two of the best five teams in Europe. On top of that, Atlético Madrid, a local rival to Real—and another, more recent, juggernaut of Spanish soccer—also belongs in that top five. Each one of these clubs has demonstrative claims to being Europe’s best, exhibited by their performances in the prestigious Champions League. Barcelona and Real Madrid com-
bined to win seven of the last ten titles (Barcelona 3, Real Madrid 4), and Atlético Madrid has made two finalist appearances and won the Europa League, Europe’s second largest cup, three times in the last decade. Over the same ten years, only one PL side has won the Champions League (Chelsea), and two have won the Europa League (Chelsea, Manchester United). On top of all that, Sevilla, another Spanish club, won the Europa League three times in a row, from 2014 to 2016. Perhaps a comparison of managers who have worked in both leagues can provide the answer. Take a look at Manchester City. Their dominance throughout last year owes primarily to the brilliance of their manager, Pep Guardiola. The sanguine, mesmerizing displays of passing that City regularly deployed to break opposition last year have their roots in Barcelona, Guardiola’s home as a player and manager. Having reached the highest heights in the soccer world at Barcelona, Guardiola traversed to Bayern Munich for a few seasons before arriving in Manchester. Some hold his record-setting season in 2017-18 as vindication for the superiority of the Spanish league. One of those records that Pep broke was the most points in a season—a mark previously held by “the Chosen One” Jose Mourinho and his Chelsea side in the 2004-2005 season. Following this success, however, Mourinho migrated to La Liga and Real Madrid in 2010, after a stint with Inter Milan. Once there, in his second season, just like Guardiola, Mourinho led Madrid to a record-setting league title. The record? Most points in a season, with 100, beating out Guardiola’s Barcelona side. May the argument never end!
Tony LeonDre Wroten Jr. deserves love on Valentine’s Day Noah Kayser-Hirsh Guest Columnist
L
ast Friday, the Philadelphia 76ers debuted their new starting lineup featuring freshly acquired Tobias Harris. The Sixers’ core have been quickly dubbed “The Phantastic Five,” but I am not going to tell you about how trading for Harris made the Golden State Warriors just a little less insurmountable. I am not going to discuss what it might mean that on a team this front-loaded, the best bench player might be T.J. McConnel or Furkan Korkmaz. What I am going to do is talk about the player that the Sixers shouldn’t have left behind; the athlete that reflects what it really
means to play basketball, to play sports at all, to be a superstar. To a lot of Philadelphia fans, this Sixers team probably feels like the final result of a long process that basketball fans know colloquially as “The Process.” In three seasons from 2012-2015, the Sixers won a total of 47 games. The rosters those years are chock-full of players whose names you have about a 65 percent chance of remembering. As GM Sam Hinkie moved pieces around and built up the assets that would eventually lead to the Sixers’ current roster—arguably the scariest team in the Eastern Conference—one name stands out among the others, and it’s not
Courtesy of Mark Runyon via Flickr Tony Wroten in a game for the Memphis Grizzlies in 2013. After two impressive seasons, an ACL injury derailed Wroten’s career. The guard now plays in Estonia for Jekabpils.
Robert Covington or Dario Saric. It’s Tony LeonDre Wroten Jr. I love Tony LeonDre Wroten Jr., and I am not afraid to say it. But at the same time, I am very afraid to say it. Tony represents the best and the worst parts of me, of all of us. He excelled on the court at Garfield High School in Seattle. In 2011, he announced his commitment to the University of Washington, and in the 2011-12 season, he averaged 16 points, five rebounds and four assists. The Memphis Grizzlies selected Tony as the 25th pick in the 2012 NBA Draft. He went back and forth between the Grizzlies and the G-League that season before being traded to the Sixers in August 2013. The next season, Tony started to show flashes of his brilliance, averaging 13-3-3 in 24.5 minutes a game. In 2014-15, he was on track for a breakout year, averaging 16.9 points (nice) and 5 assists, but he subsequently tore his ACL in January and missed the rest of the year. His NBA career was never the same. The next season, he was a non-factor on a still-terrible Sixers team and the organization waived him on Christmas Eve. Four days later, he tweeted “Cold hearted Savage. Time to make them respect my game and not go looking for it. #SavageSZN” (Twitter, [at]TWroten_LOE, 12.29.2015) The Knicks respected his game enough in 2016 to sign him off waivers, but the only playing time he saw was in a FIFA tournament in the locker room (he defeated Kristaps Porzingis in the championship). He was signed by the Grizzlies in June and dropped again by October. Since then, Tony has spent time away from the court raising his son, but he is not done with basketball; in December, he signed with
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
the Estonian team Kalev/Cramo, and three weeks ago he had 22 assists against Jekabpils. Tony Wroten’s basketball career is like the New Boyz’s music career: vaguely memorable and minutely important in context. I am not from Philadelphia. I have only been to Philadelphia twice. But regional allegiance and common sense are no match for the absolutely magnetic energy of Tony Wroten. He is all you could ever want in a basketball star: He has fifteen or so minutes of cool highlights—not too few but not too many. He has some personality, but not that much. He sometimes posts on social media way too frequently, but he sometimes only posts once every couple weeks. He likes to play a video game I also like to play. His hometown friend group has a name, but it’s an acronym, so it’s cooler and fits on a t-shirt. He gives up in the face of adversity a normal amount of time. He is just good enough that, like, one in 20 NBA fans knows his name, and I can impress them with my knowledge, and he is definitely bad enough that it makes me weird and quirky and fun to claim him as my favorite player. Tony Wroten transcends basketball. He is the just-right-porridge of players, the bed that Goldilocks napped in, the Speaker Knockerz of sports. He’s halfway between a good college player and Lebron James. He’s easy to love, impossible to hate. He taught me what it meant to work hard your whole life at something and kinda sorta achieve it. That is the greatest lesson I could ever ask for from Tony. In a way, we are all Tony Wroten: reaching for the stars and getting pretty close, then readjusting our expectations and finding personal acceptance of where we are in life.
SPORTS
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February 14, 2019
Emily Poehlein
Why We Play Emily Poehlein
Guest Contributor
A
Courtesy of Nick Jallat
s a second-semester senior, I have been thinking a lot about my experience as a field hockey player, especially in the collegiate setting, and reflecting on what lessons I will take with me for the rest of my life after Vassar. Coming off of such an amazing season, it has been easy to recall the highest of highs that I have experienced during my field hockey career. This fall, we had the best season in Vassar Field Hockey history, winning the Liberty League Championship for the first time ever and advancing on to the NCAA tournament. We had a 16-game win- “Why we play” is a weekly installment in which athletes write about what their sports ning streak, were undefeated at home and, in mean to them. This week, we feature senior field hockey player Emily Poehlein, above. the midst of all of this success, had the time of our lives. almost every minute of every game in high I think that I have learned more from the Despite these unbelievable experiences, school. While this experience taught me how losses than the wins. Through losing games, I do not think that these feelings of being a to contribute to the team in other ways, I also we are made aware of our weaknesses, givchampion or scoring a game-winning goal became determined to improve. I worked so en room to grow and improve and, above will define what I take beyond my athletic hard during the off-season, and ultimately all, are reminded not to take our successes career. In reality, it has been the more diffi- my effort paid off—my presence on the field for granted. I anticipate in the future, when cult experiences that have shaped who I am the next year proved valuable in our team’s inevitably things may not go my way, I will today and that have prepared me to be an success. While working hard to get playing remember what I learned through my losses adult outside of an athletic setting. time may seem insignificant in the grand as an athlete and strive to put a positive spin Field hockey has taught me the value of scheme of things, I will never forget how on adversity. hard work. I have always embodied a “work hard I was able to push myself in order to get Field hockey has taught me to set goals and hard, play hard” mentality with whatever I what I wanted. I consider this lesson to be achieve them. Ever since my first year at Vasdo. Of course, playing field hockey is so much one that I can apply to many facets of my life sar, a team goal has always been to win the fun and, above all, that is the reason why I in the future beyond athletics. Liberty League Championship; however, this started playing in the first place thirteen fall Field hockey has taught me to learn from was the only year that we actually accomseasons ago. Although running around and my mistakes. While I have loved being a plished that goal. I do not consider the prehitting balls with wooden sticks is always a part of a winning team, my experience play- vious three seasons to be failures, but rathgood time, I do not think that I am unique ing field hockey has not always been so fa- er they were preparation for achieving this in saying that my career has not always been vorable. Even during my first few seasons target. Through both individual and team fun and games. During my first-year and at Vassar, we experienced some very hard goal-setting, my time playing field hockey sophomore seasons here at Vassar, I did not losses, seasons that did not end up in our has always had purpose and objective. As an get the amount of playing time that I would favor and adversity that prevented us from adult, ambition is an important aspect of all have liked and struggled with understanding accomplishing all that we had hoped. While facets of life, from one’s career to their famimy role on the team, especially after playing winning, obviously, is always preferable, ly and relationships, and I anticipate that the
experience that I have had setting goals and striving to meet them has prepared me in an invaluable way for what is yet to come. Field hockey has taught me the value of teamwork. I cannot remember the last time that I was not part of a team. From youth recreational soccer to collegiate field hockey, I have always loved being surrounded by others who share a common goal; however, being on a team of all women is not always easy. Throughout my field hockey career, I have had to deal with clashing personalities, conflicting opinions and drama among teammates. Even here at Vassar, where our team prides itself on being drama-free, it has sometimes required quite a bit of effort to work cohesively as a collective. Through these complicated relationships with teammates, coaches and competitors, I have learned how to work with people who may learn, think and make decisions differently than I do. This knowledge I know will prove helpful in the future when I will need to be able to work with coworkers, supervisors and other colleagues in the workforce. Now that my field hockey career has come to a close, I have had a long time to reflect on my experience and what it means to me in the context of the rest of my life. When I first started playing in the fourth grade, I would never have guessed that this sport would have such an important and positive influence on my life, even now that my career is over. The impact that this sport has had on me goes beyond the feelings of being a champion and the invaluable friendships this sport has fostered. I can confidently say that I have become a better person because of field hockey, and I will continue to cherish the lessons that I have learned, beyond Vassar and into adulthood.
Women’s Basketball
Men’s Basketball
Vassar College 58, RIT 72
Vassar College 75, RIT 73
February 8, 2019
February 8, 2019
Vassar College # Player
M
12
38 6-14
Vassar College
RIT
FG REB A PTS
# Player
M
FG REB A PTS
# Player
M
RIT
FG REB A PTS
# Player
M
FG REB A PTS
1
5
17
13
Stanley
40 11-17 4
2
23
23 Tebay
32 6-9
5
2
22
11
Rosser
36 7-13
3
3
21
32 Nick
34 7-11 12
1
16
15
Wolfe
39 5-13 13
3
21
10 Seff
34 5-13
5
2
16
12
Davis
15 6-13
8
2
14
20 Peczuh
22 4-7
0
0
9
1
Okada
40 4-13
1
5
16
34 Grinde
25 3-8
7
1
9
32 Atkinson
21 1-5
1
3
5
14 Leong
39 3-5
13
3
6
23 Lynch
27 2-6
6
2
6
42 Dyslin
31 2-6
4
0
5
42 Schneider
10 2-6
4
2
4
30 DeOrio
30 2-10
2
3
4
21
29 2-7
4
1
4
25 Gallivan
21 1-3
3
3
3
5
Nesbit
15 1-6
1
2
3
33 Signor
25 1-3
1
0
2
33 Bromfeld
29 7-11
7
3
26
24 Adekanbi
25 5-6
0
0
10
18 2-4
5
3
7
28 3-5
4
0
6
Cenan
Juergens
34 Pettirossi
3
1-1
0
0
2
22 Schmid
3
1-1
0
0
2
4
Durham
13 2-9
1
1
4
15
15
Mousley
2
1-1
0
0
2
2
Stevenson
8
0-1
0
0
0
30 Radford
3
Douglas
18 0-3
1
0
0
30 Palecki
5
0-0
0
0
0
35 Okehie
5
1-1
1
1
3
4
Gillooly
11 0-1
3
0
0
11
2 0-0
0
0
0
2
24 0-3
0
2
0
4
2
0
0
Lee
Anderson
DeBacco
20 Young
Totals.......
Quarter:
200 25-54 34 12 58
1
2
3
4
22
11
16
9
Totals....... 200 25-59 32 13 72
Quarter:
1
2
3
4
20
13
14
25
Totals.......
200 26-60 40 12 75
Half:
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
1
2
36
39
0-0
Totals....... 200 28-62 33 18 73
Half:
1
2
41
32