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Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY
Volume CLI | Issue 18
April 1, 2019
Class of ’19 has been held back Talya Phelps Courtesy of Pablo Picasso
Super-Senior
“V
assar will not be holding Commencement this year,” Registrar Colleen Mallet announced on March 27, “as all but one member of the Class of 2019 has unfortunately been held back.” Marking a first in Vassar history, nearly every senior in the class of over 600 failed to complete their Pablo Picasso observed that “Every child is an artist. The problem is how course requirements or otherwise to remain an artist once we grow up.” Above is his most famous painting. neglected to meet the criteria for graduation. The lone exception was Pearl Pearson ’19, an American Studies major from Billings, Mont., who Annie Wang as if they knew what the professor Eats The Frosting First was saying. Art is indeed subjective. reat artists have insightful “It’s jazzy for the sake of being words for future creatives to jazzy.” meditate on. Matisse boldly said that “It’s not like one and two...it’s more Francisco Andrade “Creativity takes courage.” Bob Ross like one and one prime.” Voice Of Reason encouraged audiences with, “We “It shouldn’t be good, but I keep don’t make mistakes, just happy little going back to it, so I like it.” study by Fictional State Uniaccidents.” Georgia O’Keeffe clapped “Squares are boring.” versity (FSU) shed light on a back at critics with, “I feel there is “You’re looking, but you’re not question that plagues all students: something unexplored about wom- seeing.” Should I be skipping class? Proen that only a woman can explore.” “The white square represents the fessors chanted horrifically, “Sure, As mentors who mold future artists, void in our souls.” who cares? They’re the ones that Studio Art and Art History profes“Vassar breeds complacency.” will have to pay a lifetime of debt sors must have ingenious things to “When you eat a cake, do you eat for education, so let them sleep.” say as well, right? Mostly, this is true. the cake first or the frosting first? I Professors have a hard enough But sometimes they’re...quirky. Here think you eat the frosting first.” job working long hours without are quotes that made students smile See ARTSY AF on page 105 overtime to worry about one miss-
Art students say WTF
describes herself as completely unremarkable. “I have no idea how this happened,” said Pearson. “I’ve always been a solid B student. Honestly, I thought it was a mistake when I got in here. I guess I really proved myself wrong.” The remaining seniors will be absorbed into the Class of 2020—a development that is sure to put strain on residential houses. The Office of Residential Life stated, “We will be implementing a twoto-a-bed policy so that apartments can hold up to ten students, and the Raymond basement will be repurposed to accommodate runoff.”
Seniors had mixed reactions to the news: Some dreaded telling their parents they would have to fill out a fifth FAFSA, while others were overjoyed at the prospect of spending another year with their friends and romantic partners. Hubert Herrera ’19 enthused, “There’s this sophomore I’ve been hooking up with, but she hasn’t returned my texts lately. I figure she’s scared to commit to a senior, but since that’s no longer a problem, I think I’m going to tell her I love her.” The sophomore, for her part, declined to comment. See NO ESCAPE on page 19
Should I skip class? Profs say yes
G
A
ing quiz. In fact, they want to use that time for fun things, like anything not involving you. They absolutely would rather shape the minds of people who want to learn and don’t ramble half the class to buy time. They know for a fact you didn’t study at all and are still nursing two weeks of break hangovers. You think they can’t wait to hear why you haven’t even started on your paper that was assigned before break, but they know it’s prob-
ably because you couldn’t even remember your name most nights. You may be thinking “Woah this feels personal. Is he using the royal you and addressing all lackadaisical students?” No, I’m not. I’m talking about you. Specifically you. You know who you are. How dare you not take this seriously? That’s it. I am calling your mother, so she can yell at you! Why are you even reading this right now? Go study! See SLEEP IN on page FAIL
Mueller report: Where are our crazy kids now? Josie Schermerhorn Political Reporter
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n March 22, Robert Mueller turned in his report to the Attorney General and did not suggest any additional indictments. When the dust has settled, I checked in with some of the people involved in the investigation to see how they were handling it coming to an end. Mueller to retired from public service and spends his time reliving his glory days as director of the FBI by watching “The X-Files” and writing Scully/Mulder fanfiction. Donald Trump Jr. has been celebrating the fact that no indictments were recommended for him by throwing a week-long kegger in Trump Tower’s gold apartment. Reports say that the party features a marionette that resembles Jeff Sessions and a raffle to win a day golfing with Trump Sr. at Mar-a-Lago. The party also features a large screen that plays clips of every time Fox News personalities said that the special investigation was a witch hunt. Sean Hannity is heavily featured in the video, which is fitting, as he compiled all the clips as a present to the Trump family. Ivanka Trump is deflecting ques-
Inside this issue
69 KINKS
tions about the investigation by reminding people that she and Karlie Kloss are sisters-in-law, and she is just focused on supporting Karlie as the new host of Project Runway, whether Karlie wants the support or not. Roger Stone spent this weekend tattooing Donald Trump’s face on his lower back to match his Nixon tattoo. While Stone admitted that it looks guilty to have Trump added to his back where he keeps track of the presidents he committed crimes for, Stone said it was worth it to avoid having to get Trump’s face as a stick and poke in jail. My Republican uncle sent me a voice memo of him chanting “Lock her up!” He posted Trump memes on Facebook, and my aunt liked it, so now I have to avoid two family members this Thanksgiving. Lindsey Graham is back to feeling confident that he made the right pick in his new political best friend, and he is currently planning a road trip for him and Trump to South Carolina. Graham figures now that he’s riding high, he should take a crack at writing poetic emails about road-tripping since it worked so well for Beto O’Rourke. See CRAZY POLITICS on page 538
Secrete society update: Tying knots gets naughty with illuminati
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Wikimedia Commons and Electric Teeth via Flickr Apparently all three items shown above are not AirPods, despite the fact that they look identical. I know you don’t believe me, but I swear there are toothbrush heads and Q-tips in the picture.
Apple gods saved us with AirPods Isabelle Paquette
Sponsored By The Apple Gods
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e’ve all seen at least one Vassar student walking around campus with them, and whether we want to or not, we can’t help but stare. One of the newest Hunger Games gift parachutes sent to us tributes by the Apple gods has been literally saving lives and ears across the country. These OralB mini electric toothbrush heads, otherwise known as AirPods, are the company’s innovate design for ~wireless~ headphones, complete with tangle-free technology and 100 percent guaranteed egotism. After finally purchasing Airpods, one student, who wishes to be anonymous, recounted their in-
Celebrity Snooki murdered after licking every single chocolate chip cookie
credible experience of self-discovery and success. “Before I had Airpods, I was just a regular human. It was tough. My earbuds required constant wrapping and prohibited me from charging my phone while listening to music. One day someone told me, “I feel like you have Airpods. You look like someone who would have them.” It was honestly one of the best compliments I’ve ever received, so I had to make it true. Now, with Airpods, my world has changed for the better. After my first day wearing them, I noticed I couldn’t understand the word “broke” anymore. Like, I can say it, but I don’t know the meaning of the word, you know?” The student disclosed what it’s
#2
like to be part of such an exclusive group of listeners. “It’s like I’ve been accepted into an elite membership. They never fall out, which is great because I basically never take them off, even when I’m in the Deece and asking for my food.” However, the student claims they recognize their privilege. “I’m in a Sociology class about race, class and gender, and something I learned was making sure I accept how I contribute to the problem. I try to stay humble most of the time, and if that means putting on a pair of headphones over my Airpods, it’s what I have to do.” Blast Ariana Grande’s “7 Rings,” and invest in your own Q-tips now! See NO STRINGS on page $159
Student destroys squatty potty, figures only option TOILETS is to use friend as replacement stool
The Miscellany News
Page 2
March 28, 2019
APRIL FOOLS’!!!! Editor-in-Chief
Ceah Lates ***Hannah Gaven
Senior Editors
Gasha Sopalakrishnan Lack Miederman
Contributing Editors
Palya Thelps Poah Nurdy Wharlotte Carcoe-Volfson Vaila Lolpe Rose Parker/The Miscellany News
Messica Joss Krankie Fuckles Peven Stark Gannah Haven Sholly Hulman Tabby Arwater Sports Oyles Mlmsted Design Pose Rarker Copy Ceddy Thmyz
News Features Opinions Humor and Satire Arts
Front page courtesy of the humor & satire writers and Hannah gaven, humor & Satire editor (and new Editor-in-CHief). Photo editing also courtesy of hannah gaven.
The Miscellany News 28
March
Thursday
Weekender_ 29
March
Friday
Mathematical Modeling in Cancer Research Talk
Making Vassar’s Buildings Sustainable
3:00 p.m. | RH 300-Auditorium | Mathematics and Statistics Depts.
10:30 a.m. | CC Old Bookstore | VassarSEED
Frederic C. Wood Lecture: Religion, Ecology and the “Journey of the Universe” 5:o0 p.m. | TH 203-Auditorium | Religion Dept.
Late Night at the Lehman Loeb: Gallery Talk: Drawings by Inez Nathaniel Walker
7:00 p.m. | Villard Room| RISE and Vassar QNTB Athletes
Sunday
Baseball vs. Clarkson University 12:00 p.m. | Prentiss Baseball Field | Athletics
5:00 p.m. | Villard Room | Latinx Student Union
1:00 p.m. | Prentiss Baseball Field | Athletics
1:00 p.m. | Writing Center | Writing Center
Environmental Studies Contra Dance with the Walker Family Band
Lacrosse (M) vs. Ithaca College
NatureTime: Weekly Nature Walk
1:00 p.m. | Prentiss Gordon Competition Field | Athletics
3:00 p.m. | Vassar Barn | Environmental Cooperative
Senior Recital: Raphe Gilliam, baritone
Paper Critique
7:00 p.m. | EH AULA | Environmental Studies Program.
1:30 p.m. | SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.
Bummed you couldn’t make it to the last contra dance? Lucky you, the Enviromental Studies Program is hosting another one this Friday, so get pumped!
Open Writing Space
9:00 p.m. | Rose Parlor | The Miscellany News
Senior Recital: Noah Papagni, baritone 4:o0 p.m. | SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.
Courtesy of Bil Kleb via Flickr
LGBT SportSafe Student Athlete
Students of Sobriety Group 9:30 a.m. | RH 211 | AA Pougkeepsie
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March
Baseball vs. Clarkson University
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
6:30 p.m. | Sanders Auditorium | Vassar Animal Rights Coalition
Saturday
Quincenerx
5:00 p.m. | The Loeb Atrium | The Frances Lehman Loeb Art Center
End of Meat Film Screening
30
March
Vassar College Women’s Chorus 8:00 p.m. |SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.
Throwback Prom 9:00 p.m. |Villard Room | Davison House Team
Did you miss your chance to prompose or do you just miss high school? Head on over to Throwback Prom on Saturday, Mar. 30 to do it all over again.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Assistant Features Assistant Design Assistant Social Media Assistant Online Assistant Copy
Auncan Dronson Tilly Lipton Tatrick Panella Ris Challen Lucy Leonard
Reporters Griana Aravinese Kena Ahan Columnists Batherine Cither Cimmy Jhriston Fhristian Clemm Hesser Jorowitz Kean Dopitsky Mizzy Igani Ommett E’Malley Pylvan Serlmutter Saylor Tewart Wlair Bebber Copy Bdelaide Aackhus Banna Alake Natalie Bober Samantha Cavagnolo Sadeline Deibel Mean Hmanda Aerring Jhoebe Pacoby Knastasia Aoutavas Paitlin Catterson Rillian Gedstone Tina Murunc Photo Hijia Yu Cartoonist Fred
CORRECTIONS An Opinions article from Thursday, Feb. 21, titled “New term dates burden traveling low-income students” stated that the cost of a flight on Feb. 21 is $277. In fact, a flight on Dec. 21, not Feb. 21, costs $277. An Arts article from Thursday, Feb. 14, titled “Lecturer demistifies silent film” contained several inaccuracies and misquotes. To view the emendations, please see the online version of the article. CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed. The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
March 28, 2019
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Nicaraguan activist shares social media’s role in politics Mary Retta
Guest Reporter
I
n April 2018, Nicaragua experienced a huge civic insurrection during which numerous students, campesinos, feminists, environmentalists and others throughout the country reacted against the authoritarian and violent pseudo-socialist government of President of Nicaragua Daniel Ortega. Now serving his third consecutive term as President, Oretga first gained notoriety in the 1980s. Today, almost four decades later, many view Ortega as a corrupt and authoritarian ruler who ignores the needs of his people and attempts to silence the masses with military force. On Feb. 25, 2019, former Nicaraguan organizer, writer, artist and historian Gabriel Perez Setright visited Vassar College to discuss their experience using social media to mobilize resistance during their home country’s political instability last spring. Setright recalled what it was like to protest under Ortega’s rule. During this time, they were living in Nicaragua, co-directing a cultural community center called La Rizoma which acted as a safe space for organizers and artists. “The civic aspect of the insurrection involved a commitment to nonviolence but a celebration of self-defense,” they noted. “This uprising was also politically plural, meaning that it did not endorse one political ideology, but should not be contrasted with socialism or capitalism.” In a movement that involves such a wide variety of people, communities and perspectives, it can be difficult to find a way
to coalesce everyone’s political agenda. Social media overcomes this issue, acting as a public platform airing competing opinions. As Setright explained in the case of Nicaragua, “Social media was a key tool which everybody used to organize, protect each other, collect evidence, discuss political tactics, expose paramilitary violence and build new exiled communities.”
“Social media was the fastest way for an entire country to communicate. It was how we organized, stayed safe and shared critical information.” Throughout the political unrest, activists and everyday Nicaraguan citizens often used Facebook, WhatsApp and Twitter for a variety of purposes, including tracking the movements of the police and government officials, accounting for political prisoners and students, and gathering and distributing resources to impoverished communities. “Social media was the fastest way for an entire country to communicate,” recounted Setright. “It was how we organized, stayed safe and shared critical information.” Using the internet and social media applications, Nicaraguans exposed the structural violence perpetrated by their government and further built and maintained resilient communities. Rather than
using these applications as purely social platforms, sites like Twitter, Facebook and WhatsApp were utilized to strategize and organize people and resources, transforming the nation. Professor of Hispanic Studies and Media Studies Eva Woods Pieró explained why she brought Setright to her “Decolonizing Digital Media” class. She noted, “There are many academic studies out there on digital tools in social movements, but this presentation stood out for me because Gabe had [been] working from within the anti-capitalist student movement, yet also had a very solid theoretical grasp of what was going on politically and technologically.” Pieró further explained that Setright’s message on the power of technology in activism is incredibly important for young people and students, particularly given the current political climate. “One of Gabe’s conclusions warned about our haste to stereotype millennial youth as glued to their screens, uninformed and apolitical,” said Pieró. “But in the specific context of Nicaragua, students like Gabe contributed their ability to combine digital tools like Twitter and blogs to help boost coalition.” As Pieró had hoped, Setright’s message seemed to greatly impact the students in their audience. Charlotte Varcoe-Wolfson ’19 [Full Disclosure: Varcoe-Wolfson is a Contributing Editor for the Misc], a student in Eva Woods’ seminar, took particular interest in the imagery displayed throughout the talk: “For me, one of the most interesting aspects of Gabriel Peréz Setright’s presentation was his aesthetic interpretation of the revolution in Nicara-
gua,” she recalled. “He showed an image of students protesting with a huge Coca-Cola billboard in the background that said, ‘sin azúcar,’ [meaning] without sugar. Even though it was a coincidence, Gabriel interpreted the image to mean that the students would deliver their message without sugar-coating.” Setright concurred with this sentiment, adding how social media can be a double-edged sword. While it is extremely useful to spread information and quickly mobilize large groups, social media can also be superficial or unreliable and massively distort the truth. “In the end the revolution will not be televised,” Setright commented. “The revolution will be live. Social media needs to find a way to complement the lived, embodied and spatial characteristics of any popular insurrection.” They continued on to encourage students of all grade levels and in all countries to learn to reap the benefits of social media at a young age due to its potential future uses in the political realm. “People should start learning how to cook for 20 people, how to be first responders, how to write and edit papers, how to use photoshop, how to record interviews, how to paint murals, how to facilitate a meeting between 20 people, how to help someone that’s having a panic attack,” they advised. “So start watching those tutorials, and start co-opting social media for the benefits of all and in the horizon of social justice and liberation. I think that after experiencing a nationwide emergency you can’t unsee the power that you and your loved ones have over the future of your country.”
‘Hate Has No Home Here’ combats Dutchess bigotry Tiana Headley Guest Reporter
O
Courtesy of Valerie Carlisle
n Sunday, Oct. 7, 2018, students and faculty found numerous posters containing anti-Semitic imagery and text around Vassar’s campus. The posters blamed Jews for sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh and referenced a neo-Nazi website The Daily Stormer (The Miscellany News, “College bans suspect in anti-Semitic poster campaign, 10.10.2018). The Dutchess County local responsible for the posters plastered similar fliers at Marist College, Dutchess Community College and two churches in Beacon (The Poughkeepsie Journal, “Dutchess local who posted anti-Semitic flyers at colleges banned,” 10.09.2018). Three months later, according to head of the Dutchess County Progressive Action Alliance’s Immigration Justice Action Team Valerie Carlisle, residents in the town of Poughkeepsie identified anti-immigrant signs placed on stop signs and light poles. The police were called at the time, but members of the Latinx community who had found the fliers did not want the act publicized; they hoped it was just an isolated incident. “It wasn’t in the newspapers. We didn’t want to give this person any power. People are motivated when they can feel that anxiety,” Carlisle explained. Carlisle heard about the incident while discussing local immigration issues with a friend over a cup of coffee at Crafted Kup. Some of her friends stopped by their table and upon hearing about the signs, mentioned, “Hate Has No Home Here.” She revealed in an email, “It was the first time I had heard of this national campaign and the idea of carpeting Dutchess County with this message struck a chord,” she revealed in an email.
She spoke later that day with friends who march for immigration justice, and they offered to donate money to buy signs in bulk. Together, Carlisle and her friends created a GoFundMe and hope to distribute 1,000 lawn signs bearing the campaign slogan free of charge, with bumper stickers and window signs to come. Inching closer to their goal, the campaign has raised $3,487 of $4,000. Carlisle hopes people will put the signs up without knowing about the incidents. “You see things like New Zealand, and then you realize that it’s everywhere,” she said. When asked if she has seen intolerance in Dutchess County in the past, Carlisle said she has never seen signs posted, but she knows that such sentiments exist here. She explained: “In our area, there are white supremacists, there are white nationalists. I march for immigrants every week, and we’ve had people yell curse words at us out their car windows.” Carlisle indicated that minorities are more likely to be targets of this behavior, expressing, “I’m sure people of color and immigrants experience it a lot, but I’m a white person who doesn’t. We wanted to raise our voices and not just have those voices screaming profanities.” Members of the minority groups the campaign intends to protect have expressed concern that the campaign will incite more animosity in Dutchess County. For example, the founder of a white supremacist group named “Proud Boys,” Gavin McInnes, has attacked the “Hate Has No Home Here” campaign in his hometown of Larchmont, New York. On his podcast, McInnes declared, “If you have that sign on your lawn, you’re a [expletive] retard” (Patch, “Proud Boys’ McInnes Hates No-Hate Signs In Hometown,” 01.07.2019). Members of minority groups feel that the
The lawn sign above displays the slogan “Hate Has No Home Here,” a campaign responding to hate speech in Dutchess County through the distribution of merchandise. The signs are printed in Spanish, Urdu, Korean, Hebrew, Arabic, as well as English. signs might incite such responses in their community. For a long time, Carlisle thought things were getting better for immigrants and people of color in Dutchess, explaining, “You saw [immigrant] businesses and they were part of the community and celebrated in the community.” Carlisle also feels that the current incidents have been incited by the Trump administration and its rhetoric, sharing: “I think the Muslim and immigrant communities are feeling the heat. People are being deported right out of our area, for things they shouldn’t be deported for.” Carlisle and the other organizers wanted the campaign to be a non-partisan effort, which is why the signs are printed with red
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
on one side and blue on the other. Several religious congregations, including the Dutchess County Interfaith Council, Vassar Temple, Temple Beth El, The Unitarian Fellowship, Christ Church and others have joined to publicize the campaign. There will also be a free promotional concert on Sunday, April 14, from 4 to 6 p.m. at the Christ Episcopal Church. Attendees will be able to take home complimentary lawn signs, bumper stickers, window posters and buttons. At the individual level, Carlisle and the campaign organizers hope people will do more to reach outside their comfort zones to overcome personal prejudices. She added, “If we don’t communicate, things will never change.”
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March 28, 2019
Vassar raises wage to meet New York State minimum Kimberly Nguyen Guest Reporter
[Disclaimer: the author of this article wrote the Opinions articles referenced and was present at the meetings in which these changes were negotiated.] ver the past few months, Vassar has received serious criticism from students and alumni regarding its practice of paying students below New York State minimum wage. In response, starting this summer, the College will raise the wage from the current amount of $10 per hour to meet the state minimum of $11.10 per hour. These changes were ushered in by an Opinions article published in The Miscellany News on Jan. 30, 2019, titled “Vassar still refuses to pay students NY minimum wage,” which criticized the College’s wage policy and expanded the dialogue around these concerns. The article raised questions about student ability to reach financial aid allotments and flexibility to work off campus. Quickly garnering widespread attention, the article was shared 492 times on Facebook, prompting alumni to scrutinize the policy. An alum, identified as “Ginnie Kozak 1969,” commented on the Misc webpage, “Has the college responded to this yet? It really concerns me and is beginning to influence my thinking about Vassar, especially as my class approaches its 50th Reunion” (The Miscellany News, “Vassar still refuses to pay students NY minimum wage,” 01.30.2019). With extensive dialogue and debate surrounding the wage issue, Emmett O’Malley ’19 [Full Disclosure: O’Malley is a Colum-
l Roun a c i d lit
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Ae n a K h a n Additional Reporting by Jessica Moss, News Editor In our Headlines… [Content Warning: The following paragraph makes mention of suicide.] After nearly 22 months, the recently-released Mueller Report concluded that there is no conclusive evidence that United States President Donald Trump conspired with Russia to influence the 2016 presidential election, according to Attorney General William Barr. The result was a “mixed bag,” as The New York Times stated, that neither vindicated nor found Trump and his co-conspirators guilty of a crime. Trump took to Twitter to declare his “total exoneration” from the investigation he has long publically considered to be a “witch hunt” orchestrated by oppositional Democrats. Likewise, Barr wrote a letter to the Senate and House Committees on the Judiciary summarizing the Mueller Report, in which both he and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein concluded that “[It is not] sufficient to establish that the President committed an obstruction-of-justice offense.” There is no word as to whether the report will be released in full to the public, and Barr noted at the end of his letter that the regulations of the Special Counsel establish that disclosure of information is at the discretion of the Attor-
nist for the Misc] emailed President Bradley directly about the article, requesting a meeting to discuss it in further detail. On March 6, President Bradley, Dean of the College Carlos Alamo-Pastrana, Vice President of Finance Bryan Swarthout, Vice President of Communications Amanita Duga-Carroll and Dean of Strategic Planning and Academic Resources Marianne Begemann met with student representative O’Malley and writer of the article Kimberly Nguyen ’19 to address student concerns and locate possible solutions.
“The increase would take an unplanned $300,000 hit to the budget, but the College was willing to locate the funds.” Raising the wage to meet state minimum was a financial challenge. According to Bradley, the increase would take an unplanned $300,000 hit to the budget, but the College was willing to locate the funds. During the meeting, the student representatives broached additional issues regarding student employment, such as weekly hour caps. These caps are in place to prevent students from exceeding their work-study allotments. Due to the rigidity of the hour caps, student-workers frequently found it difficult to reach their work-study allotments, and a vast majority of students were not meeting their al-
ney General (The New York Times, “Read Attorney General William Barr’s Summary of the Mueller Report,” 03.24.2019). The University of Georgia (UGA) suspended the Tau Kappa Epsilon (TKE) fraternity this past weekend after a video circulating on social media showed its members recreating scenes of slavery and using racial slurs. The fraternity released a statement emphasizing its disgust with the actions of the now-expelled members and announcing an investigation separating the incident from TKE. UGA also stated that it condemns racism on its campus as a whole. This incident occurred only months after the Governor of Virginia Ralph Northam and his deputy admitted to having worn blackface (USA Today, “University of Georgia fraternity suspended after racist video circulates online,” 03.24.2019). This past week, two survivors of the Parkland shooting and the father of a Sandy Hook victim took their lives. 2018 graduate of Marjory Stone Douglas High School Sydney Aiello and current sophomore Calvin Desir struggled with survivor’s guilt after their close friends died in the attack. Jeremy Richman’s six-year-old daughter Avielle died in the 2012 elementary school shooting. After, Richman went on to establish a foundation to combat violence and mental health issues. The three deaths in this past week highlight the effects that the school gun violence epidemic has on survivors and families. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a support resource available at 1-800-273-8255 for anyone with suicidal thoughts or intentions (CNN, “The father of a Sandy Hook victim dies from an apparent suicide,” 03.25.2019). Around the World… Fifty people died in a shooting at the
2020 and 2021, Vassar is comlotments (The Miscellany News, “Vassar mitted to increasing the wages still refuses to pay students NY minimum for student workers accordingwage,” 01.30.2019). Begemann provided in ly (Note: Because of the way an emailed statement following the meetVassar’s fiscal year is configured, increases in the minimum ing, “[T]he % of students that currently wage for student workers will meet their student employment award be effective at the start of sumamount … it turns out to be closer to 10% mer employment this year and (9.8% to be precise).” Begemann clarified each of the next two years.) that the weekly hour caps were not a rigid rule but a suggested average hour limit. She Student employment is an important part of many financial committed to communicating better to emaid packages, and allows stuployers the flexibility of hour caps to help dents to gain valuable experieliminate any confusion surrounding them. ence while staying on campus. At the end of the meeting, the team of adWe also believe strongly that ministrators vowed to find the $300,000 in students are an important part of the budget to make the wage hike possible. the Vassar workforce, and conAfter a few weeks of careful deliberation tribute much to our overall employee culture. For all of these on the part of the senior administrators reasons we are pleased that we who attended the meeting, the College is are able to bring our wages back now prepared to raise the student wage to in line with New York State. meet state minimum for the next two years. On March 20, the College released the folStudents staying on campus to work lowing statement to The Miscellany News: during the summer will be the first to see the increases in their paychecks, followed Vassar has a long-standing pracby returnees in the fall. While the changed tice of aligning student workers’ policy is a victory for student workers, pay with the state-minimum O’Malley continues to be apprehensive. He wage, however, with recent stated, “Although pleased with the adminischanges in the New York State tration’s swift response to explicit student minimum wage has fallen beconcern, I remain skeptical of the instituhind in recent years. In nine of tion’s ability to align its professed comthe past eleven years the student wage has been at the New mitment to diversity and inclusion with its York State minimum wage, a student-life practices and policies.” It reposition we will return to this mains to be seen whether the College will summer, when Vassar students continue to meet the state minimum wage will be paid the current state as it gradually escalates to $15 per hour. Deminimum wage of $11.10 per hour. spite this, students hope these new wage When the New York State rate increases will ease their financial burdens rises again for pay periods in over the next coming years.
Christchurch in New Zealand on March 15, 2019, at the hands of a 28-year-old white supremacist, identified as Australian citizen Brenton Harrison Tarrant. Forty-one people were killed at the Al Noor Mosque and seven were killed at the Linwood mosque; dozens more were missing, treated for gunfire-inflicted injuries or died shortly thereafter. The killer sent a manifesto to the office of New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern minutes before live streaming his entrance into the Christchurch mosque. The first victim, Haji-Daoud Nabi, a decades-long resident of New Zealand originally from Afghanistan, greeted the attacker with the words “Hello, brother,” before he was shot down and killed. The victims came from various ethnic backgrounds and countries: Jordan, Bangladesh, Pakistan and Saudi Arabia are but a few of many. Among the victims are a Syrian man and his son who moved to New Zealand from their war-torn homeland only last year and a Pakistani man who tried to tackle the perpetrator. Ardern grieved with the families along with thousands of Kiwis on Friday, March 22, a day after announcing a ban on semi-automatic rifles. Ardern explained her intent to remain cognizant of her role in responding to the killings, stating, “I’m very mindful that families are receiving their loved ones for burial and I certainly intend...to be respectful of course at this hugely sensitive time” (CNN, New Zealand PM will meet first responders and families in Christchurch on Wednesday,” 03.18.2019). In his manifesto, the killer named Trump as an icon. Trump did not acknowledge the rise of white nationalism under his administration. Many social media services, namely Facebook, have been criticized for allowing the video of the massacre to circulate and recycle (The New York Times,
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
“Jacinda Ardern Consoles Families After New Zealand Shooting,” 03.15.2019). Trump was condemned internationally in an alleged attempt to influence the Israeli General election set for this April. In a meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, he recognized Israeli sovereignty over the area of Golan Heights, which Israel seized from Syria in 1967 and illegally annexed in 1981. Many critics of Netanyahu claim this is an attempt to increase his popularity after the Israeli Attorney General Aluf Avichai Mandelblit announced he was investigating the Prime Minister for corruption and bribery allegations. A statement from UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres made it clear that the status of Golan Heights as occupied Syrian territory will not change as a result of Trump’s decision, and Syria announced its intent to recover the area. There has been no indication that other nations will follow in suit of Trump’s declarations, with Russia and Turkey warning of the impacts this will have on already tense conditions in the Middle East (BBC, “Golan Heights: Trump signs order recognizing occupied area as Israeli,” 03.25.2019). Allegations of cheating delayed the results of Thailand’s first general election since 2014 on Monday, March 25. Prior to the sudden stop, the main opposition to the ruling military group is currently leading in votes. The Pheu Thai party has not been in power since 2014, and it stated that it will form a coalition to obtain a majority in the next government. However, current Prime Minister Prayuth Chanocha, who orchestrated the coup of 2014, may remain in power if the military junta party is able to obtain 250 votes in support of extending his term (NPR, “Thai Politics In Chaos: Delayed Election Results And Charges Of Cheating,” 03.25.2019).
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March 28, 2019
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New Dean appointees envision term goals Reporting by Lucy Leonard, Assistant Copy Editor In the past month, Vassar has appointed three new Deans. The following is a series of interviews intended to elucidate the respective goals and new responsibilities of each. Each interview has been edited for grammaticality and length. DEAN OF THE COLLEGE Associate Professor of Sociology Carlos Alamo-Pastrana began his first term as Dean of the College on March 1. According to the 2018-19 Dean Mission Statement, “The Dean of the College division educates and supports students in their intellectual, social, ethical and emotional development.” The following interview was conducted via email. The Miscellany News: What accomplishments in your role as interim dean are you most proud of? Alamo-Pastrana: I am incredibly pleased with the amount of outreach I did to help begin to cultivate a positive experience between my office and students. I accomplished this using my open-door policy, extended office hours, meeting with various VSA organizations, and through my pop-up lunches ... These practices were an essential first step, and I look forward to continuing to engage with and listening to students at every opportunity...
DEAN OF STUDIES Professor of Psychological Science Debra Zeifman will begin her first term as Dean of Studies on July 1. According to the 2018-19 Dean Mission Statement, “The Dean of Studies is responsible for the implementation of educational policies as they relate to students.” The follow interview was conducted via email.
DEAN OF THE FACULTY Professor of Sociology William “Bill” Hoynes will begin his first term as Dean of the Faculty on August 1. According to the 2018-19 Dean Mission Statement, “The Dean of the Faculty is the chief academic officer of the college and is charged with general supervision over the departments of instruction.”
The Misc: What accomplishments in your time at Vassar are you most proud of? Zeifman: My colleagues and I introduced a senior thesis course in Psychology that brings together groups of seniors to work with a faculty mentor on a yearlong research project. Several thesis projects have resulted in presentations at scientific meetings and published articles. I am proud of what students achieve in that course, and am excited to see the course grow.
The Misc: What accomplishments in your time at Vassar are you most proud of? Hoynes: The establishment of the Media Studies Program, which involved working with a group of colleagues from various departments. We had a five-year monthly faculty seminar that led to the development of a curriculum and the founding of the program in 2004. Starting the Media Studies Program was a great opportunity for me to broaden my own intellectual understandings and to build a program that provides the opportunity for students interested in media to participate in a rich multidisciplinary course of study.
The Misc: Do you have any long-term goals or visions for Vassar College? Zeifman: I’d like us to think about ways The Misc: Do you have any long term we can help students not only succeed acgoals or visions for Vassar College? ademically, but also thrive in college. I beAlamo-Pastrana: I’m interested in the lieve academic achievement and personal development of a strategy around men- wellbeing are interconnected. I’d like to tal health and wellness. The scope of this see the class advisors have more time to challenge requires some significant struc- establish relationships with students betural approaches that require long-term fore they face obstacles so that they are planning. I want to do this through the use better positioned to help when problems of an inclusive process that involves stu- arise. dents, faculty, and administrators thinking about this challenge holistically. The Misc: How do you interpret the role of your position at Vassar? The Misc: What do you think the bigZeifman: I believe the Dean of Studgest problem at Vassar is right now? ies should facilitate students’ academic Alamo-Pastrana: Getting large groups growth and achievement, help students to trust each other is difficult work. Pres- develop effective study skills and life-long ident Bradley has shown some incredible habits of mind, and provide students with leadership in this regard and has modeled the tools and resources they need to cope how to do this kind of work at various lev- with, and overcome, the challenges they els. But she has also done a fantastic job in encounter along the way surrounding herself with a leadership team that values the importance of relationship The Misc: What do you think is the bigbuilding with faculty, students, and staff ... gest problem at Vassar is right now? Sometimes this includes having disagreeZeifman: Students at Vassar are more ments or difficult conversations together stressed than when I first arrived, and they and sometimes not. But what these con- are certainly more stressed than when I versations all have in common is a deep was in college [...] I’d like to find ways to level of respect, seriousness, and empathy help students manage their stress and culthat we have for the concerns and ideas tivate joy and satisfaction in the learning students are bringing forward. process.
The Misc: Do you have any long-term goals or visions for Vassar College? Hoynes: I’ve been involved with EPI (Engaged Pluralism Initiative), serving as chair of the Global Campus Working Group. It’s important that we continue to think about what it means to be a global campus and to have a global curriculum. We need to take seriously the multi-directional and multilingual flow of knowledge and experience that challenges us all to broaden how we think about from where and from whom we can learn. The Misc: What, in your view, is the mission of the Dean of the Faculty? Hoynes: In my view, [it] is to be an advocate for faculty. As I start this summer in that role, I will certainly be speaking to and listening to faculty to understand their concerns and try to provide resources and support so that our really wonderful world-class professors can do their jobs of providing educational opportunities for students and do that work in a way that helps all of us feel supported and intellectually energized.
The Misc: What is one of the concerns that the faculty is facing right now? Hoynes: I prefer to think of our colThe Misc: Is there anything else you The Misc: Is there anything else you lective challenges. One...that I think the would like students to know about you? would like students to know about you? faculty faces now is how to effectively Alamo-Pastrana: There’s a rumor Zeifman: I came to Vassar straight out manage curricular change ... Navigating trending on the interwebs that I make the of graduate school and have been here for this change that is happening both on a world’s most delicious arroz con pollo. I over twenty years. I’ve learned that I am department and program level and also on can neither confirm nor deny these ru- happiest when I am surrounded by stu- an individual level is something that we mors. All I can say is that I wouldn’t turn dents. I’d really like students to know that need to be talking about, sharing ideas and down an invite to Dean Alamo’s house for my door is open, and I am listening. I am experiences, and supporting experimentaa home-cooked meal. ;) eager to hear what students have to say. tion and innovation.
Courtesy of Karl Rabe/Vassar College
Courtesy of Roman Iwasiwka/Vassar College
Courtesy of Roman Iwasiwka/Vassar College
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VSA Updates Updates from the VSA meeting of March 24, 2019 Consensus Agenda – Passed Pre-Approved Allocations 1000/1000 from Conference to Vassar Debate Society for attending Debate Nationals, US Universities Debating Championship in Clemson, South Carolina 3000/3000 from Discretionary to ViCE Weekly for ViCE Weekly Concert music artist costs Allocations 2450.50/1300 from Collaboration to The Underground for Red Sand Gala speaker, updated costs 750/750 from Administration to Office of Community-Engaged Learning for Student Community Engagement Celebration 243/243 from Collaboration to ACCESS for film Screening of “Mary & Max” 2424/2574 from Speakers to Wordsmiths for A Night of Poetry with Chrysanthemum Tran Minus $150 contribution from English Department 3500/3500 from Discretionary to ViCE Music for increased funds for Spring Concert opener 2430/1800 from Speakers to The Barefoot Monkeys for MSMD 8: A Little L8, which is an annual circus convention, for speakers and increased security costs 1560/1560 from Speakers to SJP for Zachariah Barghouti speaker as part of panel Amendments to Governing Documents Senate adopted amendments to the VSA Constitution and Bylaws that removed the specific VSA Board assignments of class senators. Previously, each class elected one senator to each of the following areas: Activities, Strategic Planning and Student Affairs; senators sat on VSA Committees corresponding to their positions (e.g. Senators for Student Affairs sat on Equity and Inclusion, Senators for Strategic Planning sat on Operations, etc.). Under the new rules, three senators will be elected at-large from each class and will receive committee assignments at the discretion of the Executive Board. VSA Elections Filing for VSA Spring Elections will begin this Wednesday and will end on April 3. Organizations Committee Pre-Org applications will be due by March 30 at midnight. A link to the application will be sent out in the coming days. Existing orgs who have not already submitted their constitutions to Chair of Organizations Dea Oviedo (vsaorgs@vassar.edu) should do so by April 1 at midnight. —Julian Corbett, VSA General Intern
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Opera, ballet still cling to offensive, outdated motifs Annie Xu
Guest Columnist
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sings: “Woman is flighty/Like a feather in the wind,/She changes in voice/And in thought./Woman is fickle./Like a feather in the wind,/She changes her words/And her thoughts!/Always miserable/Is he who trusts her,/He who confides her/His unwary heart!” At this moment, I knew that I was experiencing cognitive dissonance. I liked hearing a song that was familiar to my ears, and I couldn’t help but hum—dun, dun, dun, dunde duh, dun, dun, dun, dun de-duh—but the subtitles were ruining it. In 1989, Paul Robinson wrote a book review of philosopher and cultural critic Catherine Clement’s critique of opera (The New York Times, “IT’S NOT OVER UNTIL THE SOPRANO DIES,” 01.01.1989), in which he discusses how “[Clement] complains that the music in opera serves to anesthetize audiences to the hateful narratives being retailed by the
Courtesy of Cpl. Isis M. Ramirez The above scene from Pyotr Ilyich Tchakovsky’s famous ballet, “The Nutcracker,” is a prime example of the show’s racism and cultural insensitivity. Both the style of the dance and the costumes play on harmful stereotypes about Chinese culture. ther) to the next (her husband). This has always bothered me. Now I have learned that the word “bride” comes from Old French, where it meant “rein” or “bridle.” In the same line of thought, I dislike that it was (or is) assumed that it would be bride X groom, not bride X bride or groom X groom. Anyway, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. If you’re looking to experience “Rigoletto” for yourself, apparently Pavarotti’s recorded version is the best, my mom says. Otherwise, I’ll give a brief synopsis. So, the Duke of Mantua poaches other men’s wives and has discovered Gilda at Mass, figured out where she lives, and pretends to be an impoverished student to seduce her, since Gilda thought that was more romantic. She falls in love. Maybe she’s naïve—but remember that it was Rigoletto who kept her away from the outside world for months. Then the Duke recognizes that Gilda is the daughter of the annoying and infuriating Rigoletto, so he hatches a plan. He pretends to kidnap another person’s wife and Rigoletto, Gilda’s father, gladly joins. The Duke purposely leads Rigoletto to the wrong place. Meanwhile, the Duke and his buddies steal Gilda and put her in an Egyptian coffin. Can we pity Rigoletto? The Duke and his buddies—the courtiers—verbally abuse him and abduct his daughter, but this is problematized by the fact that he gladly participates in the abduction of another man’s wife. Then later, when the Duke beds his third woman in the opera—who’s Gilda?—he sings that famous song about how women are fickle. In “La Donna e Mobile” the Duke
singers.” Indeed, Robinson continues that “Clement argues that opera is the story of women’s undoing...Opera, in other words, is no different from other artistic products of our culture; it records a tale of male domination and female oppression. Only it does so more blatantly and, alas, more seductively than any other art form.” In “La Donne e Mobile,” the Duke’s aria about the fickleness of women is just an excuse for his own gross and profligate behavior. Furthermore, I believe that Gilda seems to have more conviction (its accuracy could be debated) than anyone else in this damned opera. After Gilda discovered the Duke’s affairs with other women, she decides to give up her life to save the life of someone unworthy of her. Choosing death
is the antithesis of fickleness. In Mayer’s production, this moment occurs in a wholly dramatic scene, with zigzag neon lights flashing in white and blue in the back to mimic lightning, and sound effects of wind and thunder, along with rolling vibrations. The death happens with a fatal stabbing, and Rigoletto discovers that Gilda has died for his boss’ life. Many operatic main characters, especially the women, make very bad role models, according to The Economist writer R.G. (The Economist, “Opera’s Awful Role Models and the #MeToo Moment,” 01.22.2018). R.G. declares, “They fall for the worst type of men: jealous, violent soldiers (“Carmen”, “Otello”) or unprincipled rakes (“Rigoletto”, “Don Giovanni”). They die horribly: Aida is buried alive; Madame Butterfly stabs herself; Tosca throws herself off a castle parapet. Even the ones who do not die violently succumb to unpleasant diseases (“La Boheme,” “La Traviata”)” (The Economist, “Opera”). In an article, Perry Tannenbaum notes that conductor Sara Jobin referred to these pieces as “hospicing patriarchy.” Jobin continues, “I am so sick of seeing women being abused, raped, and killed onstage.” Therefore, what does watching and enjoying Rigoletto mean for audiences in 2019? Tannenbaum argues: “[I]t’s abuse, rape, and teen suicide, and it comes in the setting of Harvey Weinstein, presidential pussy-grabbing, and the #MeToo movement” (Creative Loafing, “Operatic Abuse in ‘Rigoletto’ Confronts the #MeToo Generation,” 02.07.2018). Jobin gives 2019 opera-goers a sense of direction and productive conservation, stating, “If I were a mom and my daughter was watching the opera with me, [here I’d interject and say this applies to dads and sons too], I would say, ‘Honey, this is a really old-fashioned opera plot and illustrates the Italian word rapir, which means to steal. They steal the woman, and the word rape actually originally meant to steal someone else’s property. We don’t think that way anymore...but some people still do. I hope that you will write an opera where the girl fights back because she has a black belt in judo and puts everybody in the hospital, and then goes on to become president or whatever it is she wants to do, because it’s about time.” I would suggest all Vassar students to give the opera a try and form their own opinion after a viewing or two. Registering as a Met Opera student for free allows you to order $35 tickets for up to four people with Orchestra seating (the best in the house), which would regularly cost upwards of $270. I’ll be there with my mom, so flag me down, and we’ll chat about your thoughts during intermission.
Courtesy of Annie Xu
n Friday, March 15, I watched “Rigoletto” by Giuseppe Verdi with my mother. My mom loves Lincoln Center, loves opera and loves to sing opera. Opera aficionados consider “Rigoletto” to be standard repertoire, though this was my first formal encounter with it. However, the song “La Donna e Mobile” felt acutely familiar due to its widespread fame. “Rigoletto” is a 16th-century tragic story about the lascivious Duke of Mantua, his court jester Rigoletto and Rigoletto’s beautiful daughter, Gilda. The Duke seduces a courtier’s daughter with Rigoletto’s encouragement, which prompts the courtier to curse them both. The curse is enacted when Gilda falls in love with the Duke and sacrifices her life to save him from the assassin her father hired. The opera takes place in “a world of men” where women are novelty objects to be used and thrown away. Director Michael Mayer’s Met Opera production is set in a 1960s Las Vegas casino. The very first scene has red backlighting, casting an image of silhouettes of the 40-orso standing performers. Then, a quick flash later, the Vegas signs turn on, bam! Everything’s in motion; feathered dancers come out, and the suited men in the middle laugh and confront each other. There are neon signs with the word “Girls” and an image of a woman giving the middle finger between her legs. This is not the first modern production to change the original setting of Verdi’s “Rigoletto.” However, chief music critic at The New York Times Anthony Tomassini was more than a little concerned about Michael Mayer’s new production. Mayer turned Monterone, an aristocratic Italian courtier, into an Arab sheik in order to make the curse more convincing, a change that Tomassini declared “glib and potentially offensive” (The New York Times, “Bringing the Sinatra Style Out in ‘Rigoletto,’ 06.29.2013.). Tomassini writes: “Making Monterone an exotic Arab marginalizes him.” This kind of directorial decision made by Mayer is a poor choice, as it falls into the orientalist narrative without much nuance—only enough space for exotica. This choice reminds me of Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker,” which is also in dire need of an ideological update. Alice Robb’s article confronts the racial insensitivity in the piece, asserting, “Ballet, to put it mildly, is not a progressive art form” (The New Republic, “Sorry, ‘The Nutcracker’ is Racist,” 12.24.2014). Is opera? Before lurching into the question of opera’s progressiveness, let’s first consider the problematic scenes in “The Nutcracker.” Robb summarized: “[T]here’s a woman portraying ‘Arabian coffee’ as she jumps around the stage in a belly shirt, with bells attached to her ankles. Then there’s the Chinese dance scene, where a white man who plays ‘Chinese Tea’ jumps out of a box and bows; and two white women, wearing chopsticks in their black wigs, dancing with index fingers pointed up in the air” (The New Republic, “Sorry”). The first time I saw that when I was a kid, I hated that scene. I wanted to kick the director who let that happen and knock the dancers out. I still feel this way, but instead of leaping on stage and committing unnecessary and unlawful battery, I write reviews. Another reviewer, New York Times dance critic Alastair Macaulay, wrote, “Tchaikovsky never intended his Chinese and Arabian music to be ethnographically correct” (The New York Times, “Stereotypes in Toeshoes,” 09.12.2012). Robb
writes back: “Perhaps the longevity of the tradition goes some way toward justifying adherence to its outdated imagery. But it’s less forgivable when contemporary versions—like Alexei Ratmansky’s new production for American Ballet Theater, or Mikko Nissinen’s for Boston Ballet—don’t correct it” (The New Republic, “Sorry). Similar issues exist in “Rigoletto.” Aside from the production drawbacks, I thought about the opera’s storyline. In Verdi’s “Rigoletto,” the teenager Gilda is guarded by her scarily overprotective father, Rigoletto. Except for attending church on Sundays, she is completely isolated from the rest of the world. When watching this scene, I quickly thought of marriage—a bedrock of most civilizations, for whatever reason (there are several). In many cultural traditions, it is customary to have a bride walk down the aisle to be handed off from one man (her fa-
Giuseppe Verdi’s opera “Rigoletto” opened at the Metropolitan Opera House on Feb. 12, 2019 and will run until May 10, 2019. This production changes the show’s typical setting, placing characters in a Las Vegas Casino in the 1960s.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
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Klint exhibit discredits patriarchal view of abstractionism
Courtesy of Wikipedia Artist Hilma af Klint created over 1,000 paintings, most of which were not publicly available until almost a century after her death. She is now recognized as a pioneer of the artistic style known as abstractionism. Delila Ames
Guest Reporter
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or a long time, the public believed that men like Vsily Kandinsky, Piet Mondrian and Kazimir Malevich pioneered the art form of abstractionism. On Friday, Oct. 12, 2018, an exhibition opened at Frank Lloyd Wright’s Guggenheim Museum which disproved that misconception. Hilma af Klint’s “Paintings for the Future” is the first solo show dedicated to the artist in the United States. Her work was largely private during her lifetime, leading to the aforementioned misunderstanding about
abstractionism. In reality, Klint preceded those men by nearly a decade with work that incorporated spiritual and divine aspects typically attributed to the art form. Klint’s explorations of abstractionism were unknown to her modernist contemporaries, forcing historians to reconsider how we tell stories of “modernism, and the discovery, invention, exploration of abstraction in the early decades of the 20th century,” said Guggenheim Director of Collections and Senior Curator Tracey Bashkoff in the museum’s audio guide (SoundCloud, “Hilma af Klint: Paintings for the Future,” 10.2019). Austen Juul-Hansen ’22 commented, “Klint was clearly ahead of her time, and her work transcends the limitations of influence.” Klint began painting in 1906, and left behind over 1,000 pieces, mostly unseen until 1986. Attendee Eliza Callahan noted that this indicates the artist’s sense that her current world was unprepared for her work, that future audiences would be more receptive: “Af Klint’s reluctance to show her work until 20 years after her death, marked by ambiguous X and + signs in her notebooks, was also interesting. This decision communicated that she knew (or at least thought) that the world was not ready to correctly embrace her art.” Klint’s work was largely informed by a religious movement known as Theosophy, which maintains that connections with God may be fostered through divinity and the state known as “spiritual ecstasy.” It was a transcendental spiritualism that took hold in America and Europe within literary and artistic circles in the early 20th century. Based on the belief that spirits can communicate with the living, Theosophy involves meetings
known as séances, in which people gathered to receive messages relayed through a medium from dead spirits. As a teenager, Klint began participating in séances. Theosophy is concerned with the natural and spiritual worlds. The Guggenheim narrated tour explained, “Theosophists seek to discover deeper meaning in nature and the divine through a combination of inner experiences and knowledge of the physical and spiritual realms” (SoundCloud, “Hilma af Klint”). Theosophy teased out an idea centering around the existence of a “oneness” when the world began, which was later shattered. According to the religion, life’s mission is to reunite the opposing forces. Hansen also noted this aspect of the artist’s work, remarking, “I was shocked by how much her art served as a connection to some alternative spiritual reality. I felt very impacted by her work because of my own spirituality.” Klint’s main exhibition was a series of ten paintings entitled “The Ten Largest.” Motivated to create art spiritually, the artist claimed that an entity beyond had asked her to produce paintings on a transcendental plane that would one day be hung in a circular temple designed specifically to house them. Klint wrote instructions: “Ten paradisiacally beautiful paintings were to be executed; the paintings were to be in colors that would be educational and they would reveal my feelings to me in an economical way ... it was the meaning of the leaders to give the world a glimpse of the system of four parts in the life of man” (The Paris Review, “The First Abstract Painter Was a Woman,” 10.12.2018). Bashkoff found the location of the exhibition perfect: “It’s a lovely coincidence,
and sort of has a wonderful resonance that the works of Hilma af Klint are now being shown in the Guggenheim Museum building” (SoundCloud, “Hilma af Klint”). There is a natural connection between Klint’s ideas for her paintings temple and the building’s architecture. New York City resident Eliza Callahan concurred: “I also remember thinking that the Guggenheim was the perfect museum for this exhibit because the spiral lines of the building mirrored the swirling shapes and lines in af Klint’s work.” The works in this specific series are gathered in one room and hung floor to ceiling—almost 10 feet tall and 8 feet wide. Klint sometimes walked across her work when she needed to lay down the paint upon giant canvases on the floor. She studied in Stockholm’s Royal Academy of Fine Arts before branching off into more abstractionist and modernist styles. The meshing of her relatively formal artistic education with groundbreaking abstractionist techniques is evident in the simultaneous incorporation of words and letters, alongside floral and geometric aspects. Klint additionally chose colors that juxtapose brilliantly: bright pinks and greens against pastel oranges and vivid yellows. Her incorporation of words, color and shapes was innovative. One attendee of the exhibit, Anne Rothman, stated, “Her use of color was fabulous and inventive. It shouldn’t surprise us because women have always taken such backstage roles, and here is another example of a real artist breaking barriers and going under the radar for decades.” Hilma af Klint may have been unknown to her contemporaries, but she has taken 2019 by storm.
Vassar grad captures life in post-industrial Poughkeepsie Taylor Stewart Columnist
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live below the poverty line (“The People of Poughkeepsie,” DailyMail.com, 12.29.2017). The establishment of the Poughkeepsie Galleria Mall in the 1990s, construction on the highway and the downsizing of IBM’s local headquarters have contributed to the city’s decline. When Professor of English Amitava Kumar appraised “Down by the Hudson,” he first mentioned this hardship: “I don’t know what post-industrial decline means. It is a vague notion in my head. Boarded-up homes, the husk of dead factories with broken windows and overgrown grass, businesses gone to seed.” (Eyeshot, “Caleb Stein,” 01.21.2019) Doubtless many of Stein’s subjects in “Down by the Hudson” have experienced the vague and faceless “post-industrial decline.” Documenting the people of Poughkeepsie is documenting hardship, but unlike Rock-
well’s illustrations, Stein’s photos are about individual stories rather than a tragedy that makes examples out of stories. He talked for hours with subjects; they posed voluntarily. His conceptions of small American towns changed as he walked the same place for years, talked with its people. “Down by the Hudson” is shot in black and white, its human subjects in royal pose or looking forlorn, close enough sometimes to feel suffocating. Of course, Stein mentions “inequality and violence” when he talks about his series, but he emphasizes that “people are very tough and find ways of surviving and enjoying life” (Us of America, “Through the Lens: Caleb Stein,” 01.03.2018). Documenting the residents of small-town America provides a lofty and complicated portrait of human nature, of how people converge and cope.
Courtesy of Caleb Stein
n the United States, the antsy college student is as archetypal as the protagonist of the hero’s journey: a child of Middle America itches to leave their hometown, moves across the country or overseas to go to school and pursues a life loftier than anything at home. The common route is from the comforts (and restraints) of a small town home to a harsh and vibrant city. Caleb Stein grew up in London and New York, graduating from Vassar in 2017 with a degree in art history. Recently, he won the Gomma Grant for Best Black & White Documentary Work for his series “Down by the Hudson.” Contrary to the conventional college journey from town to city, Stein’s creative maturation explored small-town life. During the summer of 2016, Stein was a studio assistant for street photographer Bruce Gilden, who worked near Poughkeepsie. Almost every day for two years, he documented his walk from Vassar to Gilden’s studio, expanding his conceptions of the American pastoral. After graduation, Stein worked as a waiter, moved downtown and photographed. Frequenting a three-mile stretch of Poughkeepsie’s Main Street, he captured its residents with a candor and intimacy we don’t associate with, for instance, Norman Rockwell’s “Freedom from Want,” the iconic and idealistic Thanksgiving dinner painting. “Freedom from Want” was initially published in The Saturday Evening Post with an essay by Carlos Bulosan emphasizing that those who strive for “economic peace” vary in socioeconomic status, that they occupy “violent factories, crowded tenements, teeming cities” (“Carlos Bulosan’s ‘Freedom from Want,’”
The Saturday Evening Post, 12.21.2017). But Rockwell painted the American politics of the 1940s, not the people. The family at the table looks happy but disconnected; the face of a man in the back is covered. Although Stein’s initial conceptions of American small towns were informed by such images, his photos of Poughkeepsie don’t possess the same squeaky clean quality or artificiality. A woman named Nikki grips a lighter. She holds a cigarette in her other hand, which wears a ring on the middle finger. There is something biblical about her posture, which is warped and squarish like Picasso’s ailing “Old Guitarist,” conjuring the sweeping gestures of figures in Christian Renaissance art. Although her body looks deliberate, hip cocked and arms bent, her face is less focused: Nikki’s lips are parted and she gazes off camera. Her hair blows in the wind and the camera angle is cocked, creating a sense of urgency. She looks scared. Stein also visited the basketball court by Market Street. In an email correspondence, the photographer said, “I loved watching the games and the way they brought people together.” A young man in a tank top stands with hands on his hips and a dignified air. The boy to his left and the man to his right hold basketballs. Spots of sunlight paint the court. In his junior year at Vassar, Stein visited a watering hole by a drive-in theater: “It really feels like an Edenic space where many people can come together and enjoy.” A girl, shoulder-deep in water, clutches her chihuahua. Two women, Emily and Belinda, muse, swimming in front of a gnarled tree whose roots touch the water. Three boys float on their backs, profiles forming a pretty pattern. The Hudson Valley, like so much of the United States, knows economic hardship. Roughly one in five Poughkeepsie residents
Pictured above is a part of Caleb Stein’s photography collection, “Down by the Hudson,” which documents the experience of Poughkeepsie residents. Stein ’17 graduated with a B.A. in Art History and has since won myriad awards and grants.
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Kanye’s Korner Installment II: ‘Late Registration’ Milo Truppin
Guest Columnist
The following is the second in an eightpart series documenting the discography of Kanye West. Each week, Arts will feature a piece detailing the merits of one of West’s albums, in chronological order. hen asked to rank Kanye West albums a week ago, I likely would have put “Late Registration” near the bottom. On closer inspection, however, I realized the album truly has everything, from soul samples and braggadocious lyrics to introspective beats. Sandwiched between “The College Dropout” and “Graduation,” the often-overlooked “Late Registration” features some of the best songs Kanye has ever made. It is easy to forget that perhaps the most classic Kanye West track, “Gold Digger,” is on “Late Registration.” So are “Roses” and “Hey Mama,” arguably some of the most moving and innovative rap of the millennium. It is not surprising, then, that the album debuted to instant success, selling 860,000 copies in the first week of its release. The album excelled at the Grammys, winning West Best Rap Solo Performance for “Gold Digger,” Best Rap Song for “Diamonds from Sierra Leone,” and Best Rap Album. Most importantly, “Late Registration” contains the perfect mix of the absurd and deeply personal. Kanye trenches into social issues in the most Kanye way possible, diving into analyses of the flaws he
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sees in America and in his community. On “Diamonds from Sierra Leone,” he explores his own and others’ hypocrisy surrounding the issue of conflict diamonds, mirroring the carnage of American society with that of blood diamonds, rapping: “Over here it’s the drug trade, we dying of drugs/Over there they dying from what we buy from drugs.” This brilliant wordplay, rhythm and message is quintessential Kanye, as is his use of the sample “Diamonds are Forever (Soundtrack),” from the James Bond film, which repeats over and over throughout the song. He asks “Forever? Forever ever? Forever ever?” his voice growing more incredulous with each question. This refrain is not just a shoutout to the OutKast song, “Ms. Jackson,” which features the same lyric; it is also a means by which to highlight the lack of sustainability of Kanye’s consumerist tendencies. Later, in “Skit #4,” we hear that the same proclivity gets Kanye kicked out of his fictional fraternity Broke Phi Broke: “You march your new shoes out of here, Kanye/ Don’t you ever come back in ‘em/Don’t you ever come back smellin’ all good, taking showers and shit like that, alright?/We don’t appreciate that down here at Broke Phi Broke.” This track is one of several “skits” that are interwoven throughout the album. The skits are entirely spoken word with no instrumental component, creating a strong juxtaposition between the words of “Skit #4” and the melodic track
that follows. Indeed, immediately succeeding the skit, a soulful Otis Redding sample leads the listener into the next track, “Gone.” Redding’s voice and the melancholy tone of the song leave the audience wondering if this, too, is an introspective, mournful reflection on Kanye’s obsession with consumerism and sadness over being kicked out of his “frat.” However, after just a few bars, the beat picks up, and Kanye clearly asserts that he is not remorseful about or saddened by his materialism. He raps, “See me at the airport, at least 20 Louis,” referring to the extremely pricy French bags by Louis Vuitton. Kanye’s self-reflection on consumerism, punctuated throughout the album by his need to show off, is the perfect precursor to the controversial Kanye to come. Kanye’s introspection goes back and forth between the absurd and the profound. He raps about discrimination, and then makes statements like, “I know the government administers AIDS.” This is exemplified by one of his most famous moments. Just three days after the album’s Aug. 30, 2005 release, Kanye appeared alongside Mike Meyers on Sept. 3, 2005 in an NBC program for Hurricane Katrina relief. The two were supposed to trade off reciting canned teleprompter lines, but Kanye went shockingly far off script. He first proclaimed the reality for many during the hurricane, saying, “I hate the
way they portray us in the media. If you see a Black family, it says ‘They’re looting.’ If you see a white family, it says ‘They’re looking for food’” (Genius, “On Hurricane Katrina,” 2006). The racial injustice towards African-American victims of Katrina has been well-documented, and just like in “Diamonds,” Kanye used the Katrina relief platform to call himself out for his hypocrisy, evidenced by the fact that he himself prioritized going shopping before donating to relief funds. This profound moment of self-reflection and awareness embodied what many Americans were thinking, but too scared to say. An increasingly alarmed Meyers continued to read off the teleprompter. When he finished, Kanye looked straight into the camera and said, “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people” (Genius). This is the other side of Kanye’s activism, the absurd quote, the garbled message—the way many people feel, expressed in exactly the way it’s not supposed to be said. “Late Registration” marks the beginning of Kanye’s dichotomies. From this point on, in his personal, professional and creative lives, he zigzags between the reflective and boastful, the liberal and conservative, the sane and insane. This propensity for paradox sustains throughout his career to date, and it is perhaps best summed up by the tagline of his most recent album “Ye”: “I hate being Bi-Polar its awesome.”
‘Roma’ outshines ‘Green Book’ despite Oscars decision Jimmy Christon Columnist Roma
Alfonso Cuarón Esperanto Filmoj
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When the scene transitions to the more intimate moments, we are bombarded with terrible, anxiety-inducing camera holds on some of the movie’s most tragic moments. Even in these excruciatingly awful moments, however, there is something about the framing, the staging and the movement that reminds us of the artificiality of the image and the call to find our own film on the screen. Compare this with “Green Book” (or “Bohemian Rhapsody,” or “Vice” or even “Black Panther”), and you can feel the difference. There is no overarching message to “Roma”—where “Green Book” demands that we take away an amiable feeling from the viewing, “Roma” is content to simply be a piece that absorbs our attention with its artful artificiality. “Roma” brims with nostalgia, and it is all the more enjoyable because of it. It feels good to watch this movie not because of some passé social commentary, but because of the experience the film provides. And I would be remiss—I would be flat-out, objectively stupid—if I did not mention the great performances that were in this film. For a movie like “Roma” that is so precisely spiritual that the T.S. Eliot-ized “shantih shantih shantih” that appears at the very end of the runtime feels entirely adequate, it was necessary to have a solid base from the lead actress. And Yalitza Aparicio provided that foundation. Understated, varied and completely masterful, Aparicio’s performance gave this film everything it asked for. Sure, each scene was a masterwork of form and visual sweetness, but it would fall to shambles if there wasn’t a powerful performance to bind it all together. Again, compare this with the two actual-
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
Courtesy of Wikipedia
ime is a beautiful thing–two weeks’ worth of time, to be specific. Break is great because, more than anything else, it just gives us some time to breathe. But it can also make us forget some things—like the fact that the Oscars made one of the worst mistakes they have made since, well, since the whole “La La Land” fake-win thing. The Oscars messed up this time by snubbing the fantastic “Roma” in favor of the lukewarm “Green Book.” More so than Spike Lee’s return to form, Bradley Cooper’s sensational film, Mr. Robot’s sing-along or Yorgos Lanthimos’ adequately bizzare new film (shoutout to Greek filmmakers), “Roma” was far and away the best film to be recognized by an Oscar nomination this year. And, more so than any other year, it was utterly devastating that such a film was snubbed by the Oscars (almost as devastating as watching the best editing award go to the janky cluster that was “Bohemian Rhapsody”). This is a significant issue because it denotes the interests of the Oscars and is telling in how the Oscars operate. “Green Book,” as I see it, is essentially nothing more than just a feel-good movie. It is about racial reconciliation, and how two characters of different backgrounds can set aside their differences and come together to drive around and eat food. The Oscars, and most apologists of poor opinions, have the bad habit of support-
ing something because it makes them feel good. You see this a lot with movies. And in my unsupported conjecture, I think that this desire for “feel-good” movies comes from Hollywood’s history of sing-alongs, comedies and Disney. And it is totally fine to like something because it makes you feel good, like do what you want, but it always feels a little fishy to me when someone personally attests to the value of a work of art purely because of how it made them feel warm. Like, yes, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” is good because it is charming, but what is it about the movie that accomplishes this? Rest assured, there is much more to enjoy about “Ferris Bueller” than there is with the vapid “Green Book.” But if you like it, that’s fine. This is all opinion. My opinion on this matter is that it is a complete sham that “Roma” lost to “Green Book” because “Roma” was the movie that exuded excellence from every single aspect of its being. First and foremost, this film is gorgeous, and it sounds gorgeous. This was a movie that I started to watch in my TH living room by myself. Every time someone strolled by the TV over the course of the evening, a new audience member joined me on my couch. I didn’t have to say anything to make them join, the screen was simply an invitation they couldn’t refuse. Every scene in this movie practically begs you to stay and explore. From forest fires to lonesome kitchens, there is always some angle of approach that calls for the viewer’s engagement. Take, for instance, the movie’s hospital scene: Gargantuan architecture acts like wallpaper that makes you search for the actors you’re supposed to be watching (not an easy feat in the crowded waiting room).
Yalitza Aparicio, nominated for her debut role as Cleo in Alfonso Cuarón’s film ‘Roma’ this year, became the first Native American woman selected for the category of Best Actress at the Oscars. ly pretty solid performances from “Green Book,” and you can see the difference in quality. Heir of Isildur Viggo Mortensen is fun to watch. His performance has layers like an onion, and you can see his character develop over the course of the film. But even with the chemistry between him and Mahershala Ali, I still don’t feel that intimate relationship between performance and form, that supreme connection where the lead performer is entirely inseparable from the other aspects of the film. Because, let’s be honest, we’ve all seen a movie like “Green Book” before. “Roma” is a film that is cool, powerful and new.
March 28, 2019
Campus Canvas
ARTS A weekly space highlighting the creative pursuits of student-artists
Page 9 submit to misc@vassar.edu
Excuse me, What is the least Vassar thing about you?
“I care about climate change.” — Melissa Hoffmann ’21
“I don’t spend all my Arlington bucks in the first week of the semester.” — Jailyn Lopez ’21
“I don’t have a Hydro Flask.” — Eric Hernandez Rivera ’21
“I’m a person of color.” — Larissa Archondo ’20
“My accent.” — Milind Joshi ’21
Candace Osterhout Class of 2019 She/her/hers English Major “This series focuses on a single character, named Sister Ovina, and her path to sainthood. All the drawings are inspired by the Warhammer 40k universe, although the scenarios and the character herself are original. To me, my drawings and paintings of Sister Ovina represent strength and determination. I use a lot of religious and battle imagery to get the right tone for each drawing, and so for the three more intricate pieces, the compositions were borrowed from famous religious paintings.” For more amazing art, follow Candace on Instagram: @candacecmo and go to her website: couldnotbedelivered.wordpress.com
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“I’ll actually do readings for class.” — Maya Moiseyev-Foster ’20
Hannah Gaven, Humor & Satire Hannah Benton, Photography
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Quite Frankly Frankie Knuckles
Features Editor Quality Advice-Giver
Have a question you want answered? Submit your quandaries at http://bit.ly/2RFnXfk Hey Frankie, Sometimes I run into people at the Deece that I haven’t spoken to in a while, and I’m not sure how to react. How can I move past the awkward eye contact stage? Sincerely, Wavering Waver Dear Waver,
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uite frankly, this entirely depends upon why you stopped talking in the first place. If there was an incident involving you, a vodka cranberry and their favorite white shag rug, maybe just give them some space. You probably deserve the shame of awkward eye contact in that case, or in any case where you committed a moderate to severe foible. I trust you can recognize whether you should continue to engage with someone against whom you’ve sinned. However, if you simply lost contact because of the stresses of the semester, that’s a different story altogether. Oftentimes, we chronically overbooked Vassar students fall out of communication with people; it’s a part of life around here. We all understand that. Most people won’t blame you for dropping off their radar because you’re busy or because you need a mental reprieve from socialization. And if they do blame you for that, that sucks, and you shouldn’t put effort into their friendship. Relatedly, try to remember that all social interactions require constant maintenance. That’s one reason they can be so draining, especially when you’ve already got a lot on your plate. If you want to move past the awkward eye contact phase and stay there, you need to put in a bit of effort on the regular. No matter what precipitated your gap in communication, I doubt you’ve irrevocably damaged all casual interaction with these people. As far as practical advice, I recommend you just put yourself out there in a small way first. Make eye contact and smile this time, maybe wave. Find your way over to their table and chat for a few minutes. If you did something that made a rift between you, you could apologize for it, and see if they’re willing to move past it. I know this seems kind of scary, but most valuable things are. Finally, the Deece is literally designed as a communal space. It’s meant to be a hub of campus activity. That also means that it’s hard to avoid each other here. Thus is the double-edged sword of our humble dining hall. On the one hand, going up to someone and chatting for a few minutes is easy. On the other hand, people might just be trying to get a quick bite and move on with their day. Try to read your conversational partner’s body language and tone to decide which they’d prefer. Best Wishes, Frankie P.S. Sometimes people might be trying to subtly let you know they don’t really want a close friendship. Try to be aware of that, and avoid encroaching on their boundaries.
March 28, 2019
Curried cauliflower captivates tastebuds Duncan Aronson
Assistant Features Editor
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y home has always sincerely welcomed vegetables, but my sister’s full-on vegetarianism required making some adjustments. Instrumental to these dietary modifications has been the “Cooked Veg” section of the “Ottolenghi Simple: A Cookbook,” published in October 2018. It is one thing for vegetables to be cooked poorly or cooked well; it is quite another to have a party of vegetables and spices popping off in one’s mouth with every bite. The book’s author, Yotam Ottolenghi, originally hails from Israel and immigrated for a culinary career in England. The cookbook is a collection of 130 easy Middle Eastern-inspired recipes from a critically-acclaimed chef. After trying out his vegetarian recipes, it is easy to see how he earned his accolades. In preparation for dinner one week ago, my mom and I leafed through the Cooked Veg section and salivated. We ultimately decided on the curried egg and cauliflower salad. In his description of the dish, Ottolenghi wrote, “This is what Coronation chicken [spiced chicken with creamy mayo-based sauce] would taste like if you replaced the chicken with cauliflower and hard-boiled egg.” We started cooking immediately. After preheating the oven to 475 degrees Fahrenheit, we cut up the cauliflower florets into one-and-a-quarter to one-and-a-half inch florets and the onions into half-inch wedges. Well, I didn’t cut up the florets so much as butchered them. Some chunks resembled underground fungi networks, and others looked like little Q-tips. My cooking is unique, to say the least. My mom’s expert advice: call it “rustic,” and call it a day. We then mixed the florets and onions into a bowl with two teaspoons of curry powder, three-fourths of a teaspoon of salt, and pepper to taste (See photo). We popped them onto a parchment baking sheet and into the oven and roasted them for 15 minutes. While the vegetables were roasting, we prepared the vegetables’ spiced, creamy egg counterpart. We hard-boiled all the eggs and broke them into chunks with the back of a fork— or attempted to. In my mind, the egg crumbled beautifully under the dispersed pressure of the back of the fork, and the smooth slicing of the fork prongs. In reality, the eggs were hard to break apart, and when they did they were messy: sometimes the egg white crumbled to leave an intact yolk, or an egg would look like it encountered Wolverine but still came out in one piece. It was much easier to cut them up with the side of the fork and then mash them. How rustic. We then mixed the egg mash with the yogurt, mayonnaise, tarragon, the remaining teaspoon of curry powder, lemon juice and one-fourth of a teaspoon of salt. We had to swap out some ingredients. Instead of cumin seeds and chili flakes, we used cumin powder and cajun seasoning/paprika. Additionally, less mayonnaise and more yogurt improved the nutrition and lightened the creaminess of the texture. Once the vegetables had finished roasting, we mixed them and the egg mash with sauce into one big bowl. At the end, we added tarragon, squeezed some lemon juice and topped it all off with lemon wedges. Next time you are craving some cauliflower, seeking some spice or just yearning for a change of Poughkeepsie pace, try out this recipe. A little taste of Middle-Eastern cuisine can go a long way.
The florets and onions are dotted with specks of curry powder, salt and pepper. Ottolenghi recommends including the cauliflower leaves in the dish, rather than throwing them out. One is peeking out amidst the cauliflower in the bottom right.
The ingredients combine into a colorful palette of green from the tarragon; yellow from the egg yolk, lemons and curry powder; and white from the onions, cauliflower and egg whites. The completed dish’s aesthetic feeds the eyes before the stomach.
Ingredients Serves four to six 1 medium cauliflower 1 onion 2 tablespoons olive oil 1 tablespoon mild curry powder salt and black pepper 9 large eggs 6 tablespoons Greek yogurt 3 tablespoons mayonnaise (this is the full amount, not our adjusted amount) 1 teaspoons chili flakes (or 1/2 teaspoons other crushed red pepper flakes) 1 teaspoons cumin seeds, toasted and roughly crushed 2 lemons: 1 squeezed to get 1 tablespoon juice, 1 cut into 4-6 wedges, to serve 1/2 cup tarragon, roughly chopped
All photos courtesy of Duncan Aronson/The Miscellany News
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
March 28, 2019
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Lowrances laud family feel of House Fellow program Frankie Knuckles Features Editor
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interacting with the twins, or offering their assistance at the drink machine. While I continued to chat with Adam, Lisa got the younger twins set for dinner in their booster chairs. After their regular family meal, Adam continued, “We do the bedtime routine: bath, reading. Occasionally I’ll hold appointments or office hours after the kids go to bed in Jewett, which is something that is a little unique to being on campus, I think.” This shows an additional advantage for House Fellows: greater availability to connect with students both socially and academically. In addition to these less formal opportunities to interact with students, Adam described the programming he and Lisa plan for Jewett: “We have weekend events just like all the House Fellows. I would say our events try to be things that can involve our children.” Victoria and Penelope remembered one program with particular fondness: a spa day in the MPR. Picking up two cucumbers from her plate, Penelope placed them over her eyes. “When we go to a spa, we put cucumbers on our eyes, like this,” she told me, somehow managing to balance the cucumbers at the same time. Both parents agreed that, contrary to popular beliefs about college students, seeing students interact with their children has been an overwhelmingly positive experience. Adam indicated that those students who wish to engage with the children feel free to, and they are considerate. Lisa described more generally, “I think campus has been a really great environment ... I’ve found students, in particular here, are very respectful and nice.” Likewise, Penelope and Victoria seem to enjoy their home at Vassar as much as the
Courtesy of Moshe Cohen
hen thinking about life on a college campus, “family friendly” does not immediately spring to mind. More likely, we think of a cohort of faux adults attempting to figure out this thing we call life, possibly in less-than-PG-13 ways. At Vassar, this common concept only tells part of our story. Our unique House Fellow program means that some professors and their families live amongst us. We can all see House Fellows in action when we manage to make it to the programming they offer, or when we get to the Deece at a regular dinner time, but these intermittent interactions are just one aspect of House Fellows’ lives. In order to learn more about their experiences as part of our campus community, I spent time getting to know the Lowrance family. Assistant Professor of Mathematics and Statistics Adam Lowrance and Visiting Assistant Professor of Mathematics and Statistics Lisa Lowrance, as well as their four children—6-year-old twins Victoria and Penelope and 18-month-old twins Margaret and Juliana—live in Jewett House. Over dinner at the Deece, I had the opportunity to ask them all my burning questions about living as a family of six on campus. Throughout my questions, Victoria flipped the script a bit by asking me questions of her own, largely demanding I show off feats of mental math. When I answered her that 20,000 times 20,000 is 400,000,000, Adam intervened: “I want to say, for the record, we don’t make our children do math problems.” I first asked the parents to give me an idea of exactly how they balance their work and
family lives without clearly defined spheres for each. To start, Lisa gave me a rundown of her daily routine. Just listening gave me a newfound appreciation for my 8 a.m. alarm. As early as 5:30 a.m., Lisa is up to feed Juliana and Margaret. Shortly thereafter, the older girls wake up, and the task of getting them ready for the day begins. Both Lisa and Adam take part in the choreographic morning procedure. They have designed their routine so that each parent can efficiently accomplish different tasks. For example, Lisa told me about Adam’s apparently newfound role as hairdresser. He stated, “I’m not an expert,” with a laugh. I responded, “It’s not rocket science,” and he quickly responded, “I think I might be better at rocket science.” After accomplishing the day’s hairdos, outfits and breakfasts, Adam takes Juliana and Margaret to daycare, and Lisa walks Victoria and Penelope to the bus stop. Once they’ve been respectively dropped off and picked up, both professors continue with their work days. For Lisa, that means teaching four classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, as well as holding her regular office hours. Her entire week is not quite this intense, though. “On Tuesday and Thursday, it’s more laidback because I don’t teach those days,” she explained. Adam confirmed that he follows a similar schedule. Adam then described a typical day after work hours, saying, “Usually around 5 we Deece with the family.” As I can personally attest, 5 p.m. dinner frequently includes a brief interaction with Victoria and Penelope, who often approach students and spark conversations. Students regularly smile while
The Lowrance family poses outside their Jewett dwelling. The apartment, Penelope and Victoria showed me during a guided tour, includes three bedrooms, as well as additional cozy living spaces. average student. Penelope contributed, “[My favorite part is] getting ice cream sandwiches.” She added that she enjoys riding her bike around the quad. Victoria enthusiastically replied, “The top of Vassar!” After some follow-up questions, I determined that she meant the common space on the ninth floor of Jewett. While students get the benefit of heartwarming interactions with the kids, the girls get to learn about a variety of different life experiences from the people they meet every day. Adam spoke directly to the benefit of the House Fellow program for the kids: “The quad is their front yard, [and] they get to play with all sorts of people from all over the world, which would not be the case in any other standard way of growing up.”
Spring break at Camp Vassar exposes true human nature Jonas Trostle
Guest Columnist
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he film “Vanilla Sky” features a scene in which Tom Cruise runs through Times Square while it is devoid of life. Five years after seeing the movie, I understood the feeling evoked in that scene as I stood, without another soul in sight, in the middle of the College Center at noon on a Tuesday. Where rows of merchants and students usually interacted on “Tasty Tuesday,” I stood alone, accompanied only by the photo I had just taken of my shoes. This was not my first time staying over an academic break, so I had some expectations. It always starts the same: You say goodbye to friends, seeing if any of them are staying over the break too, and then set about assembling the ragtag group of people-you-sort-of-know who will act as your only source of human interaction for the next 336 hours.
Vassar does not supply food during break, so for the first few days that becomes priority number one. I lacked a refrigerator, so I relied on non-perishables. I ordered food in bulk from the internet—tuna and cereal—but I would have to make do until they arrived. As part of our meal plan, Vassar supplies each student with 100 Arlington Bucks per semester. With that in mind and a backpack in tow, I set off to My Market. One hundred dollars over 14 days is around seven dollars per day, which is a reasonable amount, especially with housing already covered. Luckily, I already had cookware saved from my previous break. Thus, I didn’t have to obtain acceptable pots and pans for cooking. On the other hand, my cookware was moldy so I needed cleaning supplies. By the time I had left Arlington and returned to campus, I had spent half of my Arlington Bucks. Sponges and dish soap, it turns out,
Courtesy of Nogwater via Flickr Above is a visceral visual symbol of the desertion of campus over spring break. Where once students lounged on our plentiful benches, their absence has left wooden slats burdened not by body weight, but by the crushing weight of their purposeless existence.
aren’t cheap. My food situation resembled “The Martian,” but for those who are unfamiliar, a few words are warranted: I bought potatoes. Potatoes, while not a perfect food, are ideal for someone on a budget to tide themselves over for a few days. My plan was to boil one potato per day until the rest of my supplies arrived. Like most plans, it did not survive first contact with the enemy. The enemy in this case was the stove in Jewett, the building I call home. The stove is electric—like all communal stoves on campus—except in this case it had no coils upon which to cook. This did not yet spell doom for my plans. You can cook potatoes in a microwave as long as you make sure no explosion occurs. This proved not to be an issue, not because I’m careful but rather because the microwave was also non-functional. I feel compelled to say that it is rather strange that the college provides no food, cookware or appliances with which to cook, but that is neither here nor there. After traveling across the quad to a functional stove to boil my potatoes, I ate, then repeated this process until my tuna and cereal came through the post. With my provisions all sorted out, my eating habits were established by the time that Dean Alamo-Pastrana announced a food pantry in Main for the second week—a strong statement by the college that it wouldn’t let its students starve for more than one week at a time. Once your food situation is dealt with, the next problem becomes occupying your mind. If left unchecked, your neuroses can strike with a vengeance, whether it be leaving passive-aggressive notes, drinking in the shower or aggressively subtweeting an old flame. The important part is to avoid that stage by
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
keeping yourself busy. I binged two seasons of “The Good Place,” cleaned my room multiple times and read. The library, even though its operational hours were limited to just 6 and a half per day during break, is an amazing resource. Let’s face it: Nobody has time to read for pleasure during the school year. We have an entire building next to us all the time filled with exquisite literature, but no time to use it. Spring break is made for avoiding the actual work you have to do, and the library conveniently fills those extra hours. Several campus entities threw dinner parties, a symbiotic blend of commiserating and goodwill. Few things will unite a group of disparate people like providing them with food and company when they wouldn’t otherwise have any. Those dinner parties also give you a chance to get to know your ragtag group of spring break friends. Everyone has a story, and sometimes you can catalyze an interaction between people who would not otherwise meet. Even as break ends, and each member of this semi-exclusive club returns to their regular lives, we’ll always have this shared experience, this strange bond. For better or worse, it’s now over. The Geece has reopened, the people have returned. Whether you are rested and rejuvenated or have exacerbated your burnout, time marches on to classes and homework. We will not forget each other however, that ragtag group and I. We will see each other at events or in the Geece with our friends of choice and not of convenience, and we’ll smile at each other in solidarity, knowing the other once ate an entire stick of butter, or has seven pounds of pre-packaged tuna somewhere in their room, or any of the other myriad marvelous things you learn from each other during spring break at Camp Vassar.
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Four Hudson Valley wonders promise springtime splendor Mohonk Mountain House
Ariana Gravinese Reporter
March 28, 2019
What’s the most Vassar thing about you?
Word
on the street
1000 Mountain Rest Road, New Paltz, NY 12561
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MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
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2019
March 28, 2019
OPINIONS
Page 13
The Miscellany News Staff Editorial
Scandal demands long, hard look at admissions process T
his past Tuesday, March 26, thousands of nervous high school students counted the minutes until they could open the Vassar admissions portal. It was decision day. As most college students can attest, the admissions process is intensely stressful: Years of preparation in school, extracurriculars, high-stakes test-taking, applications and months of uncertainty. But what if you could bypass this rite of passage? What if you could buy and fake your way to the hallowed gates of your favorite university? If you’re the daughter of Aunt Becky from “Full House,” the child of a hedgefund manager, or any affluent family for that matter, it turns out you can, too. Many people suspect that nebulous acceptances happen behind closed doors, but few were aware that the college admissions process could reach such levels of corruption and injustice. On March 12, federal prosecutors revealed allegations that at least 50 people had committed bribery and fraud to admit their students to college. Like the rest of the U.S., we at The Miscellany News reacted to this story with a strange duality: dismayed, but certainly not surprised. This needs to be a watershed moment for institutions of higher education. The scandal demonstrates indisputable and captivating evidence of a broken system. First, the admissions processes’ most traditional means of standardized measurement, the ACT and/or SAT, suffers from several flaws. Years of expensive and intensive tutoring boost some students miles ahead in preparation, and others are left
behind simply by virtue of their socioeconomic status, not their level of determination or intelligence. Moreover, despite the development of fee waivers, other factors such as test prices and transportation to testing locations increase the exams’ inaccessibility to lower-income students. When the Scantron hits the table and the time starts, not all students are created equal. In fact, class privilege penetrates every stage of the admissions process. While it is surprising that a parent would go so far as to Photoshop their child’s face on an athlete’s body, there has always been a convenient backdoor for affluent families: six-figure donations bestowed not so coincidentally around application time. What, however, distinguishes these bribes and the nefarious actions that have recently dominated headlines? In response to general outcry, the administrators at the colleges involved in the scandal reacted accordingly: Six students currently in the admissions cycle at USC will be denied, and Yale rescinded the admission of a student already attending when it was exposed that her parents bribed the women’s soccer coach to endorse her (CNN, “Yale rescinds admission of a student whose family paid $1.2 million to get her in,” 03.26.2019). Despite the immediate actions on the part of the colleges involved, the question arises going forward of where exactly the ethical lines are drawn in relation to these questions of inequality. For instance, it is illegal to have someone else take the ACT/
SAT in your stead. Yet, as previously mentioned, some have access to specialized tutoring and money to take the exams multiple times. The former is clearly unethical, but the latter lies in a moral gray area. This gray area becomes more difficult to define when the question of curating one’s self arises. Everyone does it, whether on a college app or a resume—but how far is too far? Yes, bribing a college coach to endorse you is unacceptable, but what about lying to a college coach? Is it acceptable to claim you were captain, or to purport being part of a team when you didn’t attend practice? What about lying in your college essay? Applicants are encouraged to present themselves in the best possible light, but doing so may promote the use of exaggerations and falsehoods to aggrandize achievements. In addition, paying someone to write your college essay for you seems just as unethical as paying someone to take the ACT/SAT for you, but shockingly, the former is not illegal. However, legality and morality do not always align; while public opinion has denounced as immoral (not to mention illegal) the actions resulting in the recent scandal, there is less consensus on the moral status of the system’s legal loopholes. While it seems intrinsically unfair for a university to admit a less-qualified student because their family just funded a new chemistry lab, for instance, colleges— Vassar included—rely on donations from alums and families. Even if the intentions of these donations are not entirely charita-
ble, the new chemistry lab will still benefit students—not to mention donations and endowment contributions that sustain financial aid programs. Beyond the countless debates to be had over where an ethical line has or has not been crossed, this scandal hints at one unsurprising conclusion: The college admissions system is flawed and biased. As students at a prestigious college, we should, in this moment, consider how we may have taken advantage of this system, even in subtle ways. Vassar should also recognize its role in this biased structure and strive to minimize opportunities for inequality to manifest in the admissions process. One possible step would be to follow the lead of peer institutions such as Bowdoin College, the University of Chicago and Wesleyan University in making the submission of ACT or SAT scores optional to mitigate the well-documented correlation between socioeconomic status and standardized test scores. We are painfully aware that college admissions operates within a moral gray area, and there are more questions than easy answers. It is imperative that we at Vassar continue to interrogate the ways in which our academic system perpetuates biases and how we as individuals contribute to inequality—perhaps in subtler ways than bribing a college coach. — The Staff Editorial expresses the opinion of at least 2/3 of the Miscellany News Editorial Board
Spring Break dining leaves students scrounging for food Kimberly Nguyen Guest Columnist
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or spring break, some students went home to families for two weeks, relaxed with some home cooking and returned refreshed and ready for the rest of the semester. For others, traveling during spring break was a luxury that they couldn’t afford. Luckily, Vassar allowed students to stay on campus during the break free-ofcharge. However, the College imposed one condition: no meal plan. When school is in session, students don’t have to worry about going hungry, because they have already paid in advance to have a meal plan where they can use unlimited swipes at the dining hall or catch meals at Express. But during break, the College shuts off the meal plan, causing food to become an additional out-of-pocket expense that many students staying behind cannot afford. The emotional toll of going hungry during spring break damages low-income students’ self-esteem and sense of belonging at Vassar. While their peers are partying in Mexico and posting about it on Instagram, those left behind struggle to figure out where to find their next meal. In these instances, drastic differences in income become not only evident but also highlighted. According to Harvard professor Anthony Abraham Jack in his book titled “The Privileged Poor,” cutoffs from the meal plan during break are an example of structural exclusion, which illustrates class boundaries and a lack of consideration toward the needs of low-income students (The Atlantic, “Elite Colleges Constantly Tell Low-Income Students That They Do Not
Belong,” 03.18.2019). The realization that the College makes decisions that only consider more privileged students contributes to marginalized students feeling that they don’t belong. Two weeks is a long length of time to leave students to fend for themselves, and it opens up the door for low-income students staying on campus to become food-insecure. Additionally, most students don’t readily have cooking utensils on hand with which to prepare meals because of the mandatory meal plan. Even the most basic dish requires a cutting board, a knife, a pot and a plate to hold the food. The dorm kitchens don’t offer much help, either. Most are in various states of disarray due to broken appliances, and they usually don’t come equipped with communal cookware. The best a dorm kitchen can offer is a microwave. At best, a microwave-only diet would consist of ready-made macaroni and cheese, ramen, microwavable soup and perhaps one of those frozen vegetable bags. This kind of diet is anything but nutritious, and two weeks of it will not leave students energized and ready to dive right back into the second half of the semester. Lack of kitchen supplies is not the only obstacle that makes eating during spring break difficult. The cost of food during the break can pose a challenge as well. Ordering meals from local restaurants for breakfast, lunch and dinner can become expensive really quickly, but buying fresh produce can prove equally expensive. Another hidden consequence of the mandated meal plan is that it makes Vassar students ineligible for Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP). I
know this, because when I tried to apply last semester, a social worker told me that they cannot give benefits to students on meal plans. Therefore, even during the two weeks that Vassar interrupts the meal plan, students can’t receive government assistance with food. While the College tried their best this spring break with a pop-up food pantry and a few communal meals to ease the burden, these measures came too late and only slightly eased the burden for students staying on campus. In the future, the College needs to consider implementing a modified meal plan for those staying on-campus for Spring Break so that students who can’t afford the additional out-of-pocket expense don’t go hungry.
The emotional toll of going hungry during Spring Break damages low-income students’ self-esteem and sense of belonging at Vassar. Although it’s definitely unreasonable— in terms of labor and cost—to open the dining hall for regular business during the break for so few students, Express remained open from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. each day during the break. It would have been a sensible option to allow students one or two meal swipes per day at Express; it’s an alternative that the college needs to consider in the future. Dean of the College Carlos Alamo
weighed in on the issue, stating, “At the moment there are no plans to make a change to the meal plan during spring break. Vassar is not alone in this approach. Most colleges offer very limited or no meal plan offerings when they are not in session. That said, it is important to me that we ensure that our students have access to food. Rather than change the meal plan offering, my goal is to provide more continuity to the structure through the support services that we offer students during the break by providing similar support services during spring break as we offer during winter break.” Alamo also specified what avenues he was exploring to ease the burden for students in the future. In an email, he said, “We are also going to work more closely with each House Fellow and the Student, Growth, and Engagement office to offer a few catered dinners in the houses and some of our affinity centers. Lastly, we can also provide a limited food pantry for a couple of days during the break that can supplement our other offerings. Taken together, this approach provides students agency and gives them access to food that will minimize concerns around food insecurity.” Mandating a meal plan and then shutting it off for two weeks during spring break indirectly forces students to go hungry or resort to unhealthy, unsustainable diets. It is unacceptable for the College to punish low-income students who cannot afford to return home with this additional expense. Vassar needs to reevaluate its offerings and come back with a better solution next year, preferably proactively rather than last-minute.
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
OPINIONS
Page 14
March 28, 2019
Kevin Hart: How, when and why should we forgive? Courtesy of Disney/ABC Television Network Kevin Hart, the to-be host of the 2019 Oscars, faced backlash when a series of homophobic tweets he wrote a decade ago surfaced. Hart eventually stepped down as the host of this year’s Academy Awards amid the heat of the controversy. Nick Lee
Guest Columnist
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amation of his character, many people have neglected to pay attention to the complexity of how homophobia and heteronormativity have operated—and currently operate—in society. These issues run much deeper than Hart. LGBTQ+ people have historically been disenfranchised across the world. This is a history that we should not forget. For many people, this disenfranchisement remains a reality. But how do we move forward? I am optimistic that there are many people who are interested in exploring how we can all (myself included) be more mindful of our words and actions and how they affect others—in order to create a more welcoming world. If we share the goal of bettering the lives of LGBTQ+ individuals, then we must treat this objective as a collective effort. Instead of endlessly dragging Hart, we should all maybe focus a little more on our own shortcomings and challenge ourselves to continue to actively listen to one another, hold each other accountable and give one another the opportunity to learn and grow from our past mistakes. Hart can’t undo his past. It seems to me that Hart sincerely regrets his homophobic tweets from a decade ago. While his response to the leak of these tweets was far from perfect, I am under the impression that he wants to be a better ally for the LGBTQ+ community moving forward. Yes, there are many people who will remain steadfast in their ignorant and bigoted beliefs. There are people who are unwilling to change their ways, even after being constantly told how their words and/or actions hurt others. There are also people who, even when they try to be better allies, continue to perpetuate homophobia through their words and actions, testing the patience of those around them. I can’t speak on behalf of the LGBTQ+ community as to whether or not people should forgive Hart. I can only speak on behalf of myself. I haven’t experienced nor internalized homophobia the exact same way other people have. Nor is there a universally correct way for how we should address hate. Hate can be a powerful weapon—one that causes so much pain, conflict, violence and suffering. Hart’s tweets were extremely harmful to LGBTQ+ individuals, myself included. But I believe that forgiveness can be just as powerful. It’s perhaps time to move on from what Hart wrote ten years ago and find a way to work with him, instead of against him. Forgiveness can have the ability to create spaces where we can all learn, grow and heal, together.
mophobic messages, should he be forgiven? For years, peers, close friends and mentors of mine have used homophobic language either in front of me or directed at me. Oftentimes, these remarks have been just as offensive as Hart’s tweets. My continuous exposure to homophobia has led to years of anxiety, confusion and fear that could have all been avoided if I had grown up in a more accepting culture that was not afflicted by homophobic beliefs and discourse. The conscious and unconscious messaging that has historically defined LGBTQ+ people as the Other operates on many levels. There are the more obvious instances, such as hate crimes. But there are also the subtle homophobic microaggressions and dominant heteronormative traditions that often go unnoticed, yet perpetuate the same form of othering. For LGBTQ+ individuals, it can be extremely debilitating to feel the need to constantly go out of their way to do the teaching in order to combat discrimination and fight for equality. It would be mentally draining for me to directly address each barber, doctor or any other person who asks me if I have a girlfriend, come out to them and then educate them with a lesson on not assuming one’s sexual orientation. I also don’t have the mental space to get upset each time someone says “that blows,” “that sucks dick,” “no homo,” “that’s so gay” or “faggot,” among many other homophobic remarks. I’ve learned that as an LGBTQ+ person, with the amount of anti-gay rhetoric and heteronormative values that have saturated my life, I have to pick and choose my battles. At times, I have been fed up with the homophobia and ignorance that I have encountered. I have often yearned for the opportunity to just go out and feel “normal.” Throughout my life, I have felt the need to remain hypervigilant about my sexuality in order to protect myself; for much of my life, I believed that if someone found out about this part of me, I would lose the love and trust of those closest to me. I now feel remorseful about and angered by the many moments when I was unable to be happy with friends and family due to the internalized homophobia that was ripping The 2019 Academy Awards went hostless after Kevin Hart resigned from the me apart. Still emotionally scarred by my past, I position. The last time the ceremony didn’t feature a host was in 1989, which have learned that my body cannot with- was widely scrutinized by both audience members and Hollywood luminaries.
Courtesy of Prayitno via Flickr
first tuned in to the hype surrounding this year’s Oscars when controversy arose over a series of anti-gay tweets made by Kevin Hart around ten years ago. The to-be host immediately faced pressure from the Academy to either publicly apologize for his bigoted comments or to step down as the host. In response, Hart stated that this was not the first time his tweets had surfaced. The comedian claimed that he had already acknowledged and apologized for the tweets on several occasions and had grown as a person. Eventually, Hart decided that he wanted to step down as host of the 2019 Oscars (E! News, “Kevin Hart Says the Academy Threatened to Revoke Oscars Hosting Gig Over Anti-Gay Tweets,” 12.06.2018). As a fan of Hart, I was upset by his tweets and found them offensive. I thought about how damaging these tweets would have been to me if I had seen them ten years ago, a time when I was still far from coming to terms with my sexuality. In 2009, I wasn’t out; I was a confused 12-year-old boy with a vocabulary that often consisted of the words “faggot” and “gay” due to my internalized homophobia. As I reflected on the past, I questioned if I could be a fan of someone who had made so many hurtful comments about a part of my identity. I wondered under what circumstances should I forgive someone, and how do I come to that decision? I then thought about how the government treated LGBTQ+ individuals the year Hart wrote these tweets. In 2009, the infamous “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, approved by Bill Clinton, was still in place, allowing the military to openly discriminate against LGBTQ+ individuals (CNN, “Discharged under ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’,” 11.10.2009). Same-sex marriage was not legalized across the country until 2015 (NPR, “Supreme Court Declares Same-Sex Marriage Legal In All 50 States,” 06.26.2015). President Barack Obama, hailed and remembered as an advocate for social justice and equality during his presidency, openly opposed same-sex marriage until the late 2000s (The Washington Post, “Obama’s latest ‘evolution’ on gay marriage: He lied about opposing it, Axelrod says,” 02.10.2015). Considering the sociocultural context in which Hart tweeted this series of ho-
stand holding on to so much anger for such a long period of time. A part of me wants to confront everyone who has made me feel uncomfortable about my identity and yell at them until they feel the same pain that I have felt. Yet, many of the people who have hurt me throughout my life are the same people who I can depend on, who would not hesitate to stand up for me, who support me when I need help and who make sure that I am okay. In the end, no one is perfect. I would imagine that most people have said something hurtful and/or offensive at some point in their lives. Being flawed is a part of being human. So where do I personally draw the line when it comes to people offending me, making me uncomfortable or causing me harm? While I have the privilege to live in a time and place that is more accepting of me for my sexuality, should I just forget what people have done to me in my past and move on? For the people hurt by me—how should they respond to the pain I have caused them? Even after years of practice, I still struggle with figuring out when I do and don’t want to address something that has rubbed me the wrong way. I’m still trying to figure out how much I would allow someone to push me around before I say something. I’m still trying to figure out when I should forgive people for wronging me, and how long I should wait before forgiving them. I’m still grappling with under what circumstances I would not be able to forgive someone. Everyone has the right to choose whether or not they are willing to forgive others for what they have said or done to them in the past. The same goes for whether or not people are willing to forgive Hart for his tweets. Personally, I choose to forgive him. The tweets are a decade old. The U.S. has significantly changed within the last ten years in regards to LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance. Hart’s anti-gay rhetoric did not exist in a vacuum—it was largely a product of the internalized ideas and beliefs he was indoctrinated with growing up in a homophobic culture. This does not rid him of his responsibility to hold himself accountable for his actions. However, I think that with all the public outrage and defamation of his character, the public has started to oversimplify the treatment of homophobia; people are either good or bad, homophobic or not homophobic and there is nothing in between. Given the hyperfocus on the judgement regarding Hart’s homophobia and the def-
The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
March 28, 2019
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Page 15
Quiet as It’s Kept: Passing Subjects, Contested Identities VA S S A R C OL L E GE APRIL 5, 6 & 7, 2019
Quiet as It’s Kept: Passing Subjects, Contested Identities April 5 / Friday
VA S S A R C O L L E G E
4:30 p.m.
/ A P R I L 5, 6 & 7, 2 0 19
April 6 / Saturday continued 2:30 p.m.
Presentations and Discussion
Keynote Address
Quiet as It’s Kept: Celebrity, Gossip and Passing TAYLOR AUDITORIUM
Can’t You See I’m White? Reading between the Sight Lines of Racial Difference
Manan Desai
TAYLOR AUDITORIUM
Korla Pandit Plays America: Exotica, Race and the Cold War
Ann duCille
ASSISTANT PROFESSOR, AMERICAN CULTURE / UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN
Susan Courtney
PROFESSOR EMERITA OF ENGLISH WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY
PROFESSOR AND ASSOCIATE CHAIR, ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND LITERATURE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA
Rewinding Colorblindness: Repurposing Media Archives of Segregation
LeiLani Nishime
4:00 p.m.
Screenings and Discussion
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF COMMUNICATIONS / UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON
Selling Merle: Passing, Branding and the Melodrama of Race
(Limited Seating)
Mia Mask, Moderator
ROSENWALD THEATER VOGELSTEIN CENTER FOR DRAMA AND FILM
PROFESSOR OF FILM ON THE MARY RIEPMA ROSS ’32 CHAIR
Little White Lie (2014, 66 minutes) Lacey Delgado, Director
April 6 / Saturday
Fuori / Outside (1997, 12 minutes)
10:00 a.m.
Kym L. Ragusa, Director
Exhibition Viewing
Mia Mask, Moderator
Quiet as it’s Kept: Passing Subjects, Contested Identities
April 7 / Sunday
FRANCES LEHMAN LOEB ART CENTER
10:00 a.m.
Mary-Kay Lombino
Closing Program
CURATOR AND ASSISTANT DIRECTOR FOR STRATEGIC PLANNING FRANCES LEHMAN LOEB ART CENTER / VASSAR COLLEGE
Writing a Life: Remembering Anita Florence Hemmings
Hiram Perez
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF ENGLISH / VASSAR COLLEGE
The exhibition is open thru April 7.
ALUMNAE HOUSE LIVING ROOM
Joyce Bickerstaff
11:00 a.m.
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR EMERITA OF EDUCATION / VASSAR COLLEGE
Presentations and Discussion
Karin Tanabe ’02
Blood Symbolics: Fantasy and the Racial State
Eve Dunbar, Moderator
TAYLOR AUDITORIUM
AUTHOR, THE GILDED YEARS
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF ENGLISH / VASSAR COLLEGE
Elizabeth Bradley, Welcoming Remarks PRESIDENT
Arica Coleman AUTHOR AND HISTORIAN
Black Indians: A Conversation on Race and Passing Beyond Black and White
Allyson Hobbs
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF AMERICAN HISTORY DIRECTOR, AFRICAN AND AFRICAN AMERICAN STUDIES / STANFORD UNIVERSITY
A Chosen Exile: Racial Passing in the Age of Jim Crow
Ann Morning
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF SOCIOLOGY / NEW YORK UNIVERSITY
These programs are inspired by the story of Anita Florence Hemmings, Vassar Class of 1897, whose life will be the subject of a film starring Zendaya and produced by Reese Witherspoon.
Kaleidoscope: Contested Identities and New Forms of Racial Membership
Tyrone Simpson, Moderator
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR OF ENGLISH / VASSAR COLLEGE
IMAGE: ANITA FLORENCE HEMMINGS
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
HUMOR & SATIRE
Page 16
March 28, 2019
Breaking News
From the desk of Hannah Gaven, Humor & Satire Editor
Procrastinating student, who wrote essay after snorting two lines of coke, will have work published in Misc Slaughter started April Fools’ but isn’t needed nowadays Blair Webber Snake
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Frank/The Miscellany News
nce again, we find ourselves at a time of year when everyone obsesses for weeks on end over a single day and spends loads and loads of money on extravagances while ignoring the historical and ideological underpinnings of that particular holiday. I’m talking, of course, about April Fools’ Day. Many may be surprised to learn that, like Thanksgiving and St. Valentine’s Day, April Fools’ memorializes wholesale slaughter— specifically, the slaughter of good taste and actual humor. It has its origins in the 11th century when 10,000 villagers from a country without a Wikipedia page were sentenced to death for smacking their loved ones in the face with what was then known as “pye”—a main dish or dessert consisting of a pastry case filled with meat, berries, potatoes or whatever else was lying around, a precursor to our modern “pie.”The ruling faction at the time found this practical joke to be overkill, since the laws on the books defined strict guidelines for keeping humor and satire subtle and specific. This absurdity could not be tolerated. So who would want to commemorate this horrific act of oppression of free peach cobbler, or valorize the inanity of 11th century peasants? Just because they had the right to pie each other doesn’t mean it’s funny or sophisticated or worth laughing at (although to clarify, they did not have the right to pie each other. This was strictly forbidden by royal decree). For this reason, I and everyone I know should absolutely keep their phones turned off until the point in the day when they’re
awake enough to spot a practical joke when they hear one. Maybe just keep it off all day so when your brother, aunt, best friend, worst friend or brother disguised as a robocaller calls you to ask if your refrigerator is running, you won’t panic and start running after it only to hear them say, “Good, that means it’s plugged in, and all your perishables are safe.” Just to name one possible example. Another protection from the scourge of practical jokes is to avoid the communal bathroom in your dorm all day, just in case one of your next-door neighbors, across the hall neighbors, upstairs neighbors, downstairs neighbors or friends from another house knows how terrified you are of snakes and decides it’s funny to put even the most crude recreation of one in every shower and bathroom stall so that you become paralyzed and can’t even leave the bathroom to escape the fakes because you can’t breathe, and your hamstrings have cramped out of terror. To name another general possibility for a prank. The point is, we don’t need to prank each other. We can just let each other live like it’s a normal day and be just as happy as any other normal day. There’s no need for snakes, hidden VCards, pie in the face, fake news articles, fake histories in Misc articles or any other tomfoolery. Just respect each other, like we always do, and we’ll be fine. On an entirely separate and unrelated note, if anyone is good at picking locks or has a key to Editor-In-Chief Leah Cates’ room, I have a...present for her I’d like to deliver on April 1...for no particular reason at all.
Womp-Womp World
Both Harlow and Frank are not feeling the last half of spring semester, which is a relatable mood. All I want to do is give the little buddy a giant hug because we all deserve affection and attention. I love you, little boo!
D.C. trip results in horrific New Jersey turnpike experience Nightmarish News Reported by Izzy Migani
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ost people go somewhere tropical or exotic for spring break—and then there’s me. I had my Washington, D.C. virginity taken by visiting our proud capital for the literal first time in my life, but it was the journey itself that took the true toll. My boyfriend and I started out as hopeful, shiny-eyed kids. Yeah, we’re gonna do a seven hour road trip through FOUR major cities! It’ll be fun! The drive will be great, it’ll be over in no time! Oh, how incorrect we were. It started out okay—Connecticut to New York wasn’t terrible. New York City, however, was absolutely terrifying. Never before have I gripped the bar above the car window, but I made a fast grab for that thing at least five times. New Yorkers are mean drivers. I’m just a suburban girl, I can’t take it. I don’t have that city boy grit. A little while later, when the first gun stores started popping up, we got skittish. Then civilization disappeared. Then livestock disappeared. We were truly in the
absolute middle of nowhere. That’s when it happened. We stumbled upon the absolute worst hellscape we had ever envisioned: the New Jersey Turnpike. If there ever was a truly lawless land, it would be that stretch of road. People drove over 90 miles per hour, rocks flew, shattering windshields, the air was covered in smog and there were potholes in the highway large enough to swallow an entire small child. Then came the billboards. There were one or two at first, but then they appeared in groups, all advertising the same thing. I, to this day, have nightmares about that smiling man named Rob, vowing to sell every house in New Jersey. The sheer amount of “Rob Sells New Jersey” billboards made me question Rob’s true motives. Did he truly want to sell people nice homes, or was he trying to build a dictatorship based on a plethora of loyal followers? I’ll never know, and I’m too scared to find out. The next two hours seemed to be pulled
directly out of the twilight zone. Where were we? Were we still alive? Was any of this real? Not a single human being was seen along the “scenery” of the cursed turnpike, prompting us both to believe everyone had either been kidnapped by Rob to fuel the formation of his empire or killed off by mysterious and malevolent forces. After three hours on the New Jersey turnpike, I was convinced we had veered off of our course and entered some sort of advanced purgatory. Was this actually an undiscovered ring of hell? Were we doomed to brave this turnpike for all eternity? I thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse. Then came the tolls—the multitude of tolls dotting the turnpike run by people that terrified me more than Rob. Were they operated by the Mafia? Maybe so. I also don’t care to find that out either. Our last stint in New Jersey came with our visit to a rest area. At this point, the car began to make an alarming noise, and
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
at least four warning lights were active on the dashboard. Even so, we would have rather stayed within the (relative) safety of the car than set foot on the cursed turnpike pavement. My bladder waits for no one. The inside of the rest stop legitimately had the most chaotic energy I’ve ever experienced in my life; the amount of screaming children was obscene. Did they know something about the Turnpike that we didn’t? It must have been something that haunted them deeply, something that drove them to banshee-level tears. We didn’t stay long enough to find out, lest the rest area doom our mortal souls too. We came out of the New Jersey Turnpike with at least six years taken off of our respective lives. Smokestacks slowly turned into trees and greenery. People became visible from the roadway again; life was finally appearing. Relaxing could commence once more. However, we would never speak again of the horrors we’d seen.
March 28, 2019
HUMOR & SATIRE
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Baldwin diagnoses all Vassar students as terminally ill Courtesy of xtberlin via Pixabay
Steven Park
Diagnosed With Myocardial Infarction
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assar College has recently announced that it will tragically close its doors for good after Baldwin Health Services reported that the majority of students on campus seem to be terminally ill. As Vassar’s only on-site health clinic, Baldwin has provided high-quality treatment and care for students ever since its inception in 1940 and has totally never been irresponsible or wrong about any of its diagnoses throughout its long-running history. “I trust Baldwin with my life,” stated an anonymous first-year student who has admitted that he has never stepped inside the Health Center before. “I’m sure that they provide the best possible healthcare to all its students without any billing frustrations or predatory practices at all.” According to the campus report, the healthcare providers at Baldwin have noticed a disturbing trend in the past decade or so, where the majority of students whom they treat appear to have severe and even life-threatening medical conditions that make them unfit for school. On a daily basis, students walk in exhibiting symptoms of a cold or a flu and then end up being sent to the emergency room at the Vassar Brothers Medical Center (also a highly reputable and completely trustworthy institution) in an ambulance. The situation has become so dire that Baldwin has had to keep a team of paramedics at standby at all times in case of emergencies (which is all the time). “It’s truly a bizarre phenomenon,” re-
Seeing ambulances on campus is the unfortunate new norm for Vassar students. Apparently a class of 26 students was hospitalized last week after an individual coughed during the lecture. I’m excited to return to the measles outbreak in my hometown. marked one Baldwin medical practitioner. “These students appear perfectly normal and healthy on the outside, but the moment we examine them, we always find signs of a severe, debilitating illness that requires immediate medical attention. All this goes to show that you can never judge the health of an individual by how healthy they look.” In an interview with one Vassar health service provider, the cases at Vassar would give medical TV dramas like “House, M.D.” a run for their money. She explained how students arrive through their doors initially demonstrating symptoms of something benign like a stomach bug or fever, only for them to discover the cause of these symptoms to be something much worse like an encroaching myocardial infarction or bronchitis. “I’m technically not allowed to divulge this, but we had a patient who had this weird spot on his arm that he wanted us to examine,” stated one Baldwin practitioner. “I
honestly didn’t know what it was, either, but after briefly looking through Web M.D. I discovered that it was a severe case of psoriasis. The patient clearly started to panic at this point and told me how I was wrong and that it had to be just a birthmark or something. However, as a medical professional, I managed to calm him down and send him straight to the emergency room.” Unfortunately, psoriasis was the least of Baldwin’s concerns. With every new case, the diagnosis only started to increase in severity over time. In particular, the healthcare providers at Baldwin reported a “drastic” increase in cases of appendicitis, urinary tract infections (UTIs) and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) over the past several years. In addition, they expressed concern over the number of female students arriving at Baldwin with “obvious” cases of pregnancy, even though they claimed that they never had sex. However, the biggest worry for Baldwin
HOROSCOPES
is the growing number of Vassar students who exhibit signs of destructive denial upon hearing their diagnosis. Some patients would repeatedly question the accuracy of the diagnosis with no end, while others simply refused to believe it. Students have even heard rumors about students who avoid going anywhere near Baldwin, even when they’re sick or require medical attention. “Growing distrust of modern medicine in today’s society is a serious issue that the public needs to address,” warned one Baldwin nurse. “People can’t just diagnose themselves with whatever they find on Web M.D.” In order to fight against medical illiteracy at Vassar and the growing number of students who refuse to seek proper medical attention, Baldwin Health Services condemned the state of student health at Vassar in its report, stating, “The rate of undiagnosed sickness on Vassar campus has reached a level of crisis. We have reasons to believe that the majority of the student population not only require immediate medical attention, but that they specifically need OUR medical attention, not just some outside doctor whom they claim to have visited.” Left with no other choice but to comply, the entirety of Vassar College will be placed on an indefinite medical leave of absence starting this April, until Baldwin Health Services has deemed that health has recovered enough to continue classes. When asked whether they expect to receive thanks for their brave efforts, the healthcare providers at Baldwin commented, “We’re just happy to save the lives of these students.”
Hannah Gaven
amateur astrologist
ARIES
March 21 | April 19
TAURUS
April 20 | May 20
GEMINI
May 21 | June 20
CANCER
June 21 | July 22
LEO
July 23 | August 22
VIRGO
August 23 | September 22
My family got a new puppy! However, all dinner conversation consists of the looks of her poops and how often she’s peed. When you run out of conversations this week, recount the shapes and consistency of each of your bowel movements from the week. The real question that we should be asking ourselves is how much merch is too much merch. It seems so extra that YouTubers have merch, so I decided to also create a merch line since I have posted one YouTube video. It’s a cooking video. You should watch it.
I don’t like when it’s sunny outside. It’s too bright and it hurts my eyes. Instead, I like to close all the blinds, turn off all of the lights and then crawl under my bed, so I can feel like a bat of the night. I recommend that you live under your bed this week to help deal with the stress of school. You will snart (sneeze-fart) in class this week. Try not to be too embarrassed, as it is a regular bodily function. Hopefully, it won’t smell too bad so everyone won’t need to evacuate the building and wait for the fire department to check to see if the fumes are okay. You will lick your toes this week. You will do this because I told you to, and I’m your mother, so you better listen to me. Your cell phone privileges will be revoked if you don’t do what I say when I say it. Pull the fire alarm. Just do it. I know you want to. It takes no time at all! However, if you decide to pull the alarm at 2 a.m. in a blizzard, I will personally set your room on actual fire. If you don’t want this to happen, email me to make sure that I am not in the building.
LIBRA
September 23 | October 22
SCORPIO
October 23 | November 21
SAGITTARIUS
November 22 | December 21
Succulents are actually the best part of life. The stars suggest that you get yourself a succulent or two because they are guaranteed to make your life better. I talk to mine, Cynthia and Erwin, all the time. Just make sure you say goodnight. You don’t want to neglect them. I’ve decided healthy eating is no longer important, which means that it is not necessary for you to do either. All of our future meals will be eaten from the dessert station. Some days they may only have the vegan cookies, which will be sad, but we will power through! It is easy to overestimate and underestimate the work other people can do. Don’t stress about that this week, Sagittarius. Instead, do your entire group project on your own. It’ll be better that way because you won’t be relying on any losers. The stars predict that you will slay this
CAPRICORN week. I hope you understand this prediction
December 22 | because it can be interpreted in a couple difJanuary 19 ferent ways. Perhaps your outfit will be really cool, or you could slay a dragon. Both seem equally plausible.
AQUARIUS
January 20 | March 18
PISCES
March 19 | March 20
MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE
It’s time to get serious this week and bulk up. Eat everything in sight. Eat your leftovers. Eat your vitamins. Eat your neighbor’s cat. Eat your friend’s car. Eat your ass. Eat your VCard. Eat your long-lost brother’s toe.
I thought I liked limes, so I decided to buy eight limes. However, my lime fetish ended as I bit into the first lime. It was a bad time. Learn from my mistake, and don’t buy eight limes willy-nilly.
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March 28, 2019
MLB Preview: after offseason of spending, storylines set Dean Kopitsky Columnist
ne of the interesting components of Vassar’s long spring break is that it picks us up in the late winter of March and drops us off with just six weeks left of school, at the beginning of spring. Not yet adjusted to Poughkeepsie’s arctic climate, this pick-me-up is a welcome bridge to what is my favorite season. Spring brings warmth, a return home and the elating sensation of anticipation. Greener pastures are the promise of every new sports season. That baseball begins in spring lends itself to one of America’s greatest metaphors, as Ken Burns quipped: “It follows the seasons, beginning each year with the fond expectancy of springtime and ending with the hard facts of autumn.” As every other year, this spring brings fresh hopes to 30 MLB teams. An American League powerhouse is poised for repetition of last year’s success, but promising teams are budding with young talent from every corner of the league. Notable superstars cashed in with record deals, but some stars remain unsigned as Opening Day looms. Mercurial stars find long-term homes: Mike Trout entered the league the same
Which leads us to the NL East: Since 2011, only one NL East team has survived the National League Divisional Series. That team was the Mets, who did so in 2015 en route to a World Series loss to the Kansas City Royals. In 2019, the Mets acquired Robinson Cano, a stud outfielder with time left on his contract, from the Mariners. They also brought in elite 25-year-old closer Edwin Diaz, who won’t be a free agent until 2023. That’s the extent of their notable acquisitions. But another year with a rotation of Zack Wheeler, Jacob deGrom, Steven Matz and Noah Syndergaard will make them as imposing as ever. With their aforementioned smorgasbord of acquisitions, the Phillies are favored to come out on top in the East. Aaron Nola and
Courtesy of Keith Allison via Wikimedia Commons Outfielder Mike Trout signed a massive contract extension for the Los Angeles Angels during the offseason. His deal, $430 million over 12 years, is far and away the largest deal in the league’s history. Despite Trout’s pedigree, he has yet to win a playoff game. Jake Arrieta are elite returners to the starting rotation. Nola was a Cy Young contender last year, and Arrieta had knee surgery to alleviate pain that dogged him throughout the campaign. The rest of their reliever staff is formidable as well. The Phillies began the season competing for the pennant but sputtered down the last couple months of the season. A wealth of talent should keep that from happening this year. The Atlanta Braves were last season’s biggest surprise. In 2015 they forced a fire sale of All-Stars and veterans after years of middling playoff success. Several years followed without touching the playoffs. Quietly, they were assembling a gauntlet of elite, young talent. While their farm system is now ranked second, the big league club already saw positives in 2018. Outfielders Ender Inciarte and Nick Markakis proved more than solid defensively and Freddie Freeman subtly put together an MVP-type season, but the story was in their young hitters. Ozzie Albies had a breakout year, but Ronald Acuna Jr. enjoyed the type of rookie year that hinted a NL MVP trophy may shortly follow his Rookie of the Year award. The young
The Atlanta Braves’ Ronald Acuna Jr. bats in a game last season. The electric outfielder hit .293 with 26 home runs in 111 appearances, winning Rookie of the Year. The Braves need more than just another strong year from Acuna if they hope to compete for the NL East. stars’ breakout season was enough to claim the NL East pennant for the first time since 2013. The Braves’ weak bullpen is what held them back from more success. Their farm system, however, is saturated with so much arm talent they will undoubtedly be able to begin filling in the gaps quickly. On the Nationals’ end of the Bryce Harper signing, the situation is murky. While they will miss the former MVP and his six all-star appearances before the age of 27, they will not miss his inconsistent attitude and high strikeout rate. He struck out 169 times last year, completing a five-year streak of 100plus strikeout seasons. The Nats may have young stars in Juan Soto and Victor Robles to fill Harper’s place in the outfield; Soto was good for 22 homers and 70 RBI in 2018 and made a very solid case for rookie of the year. Finally, pitching is where the Nationals have the most talent. Stephen Strasburg should mount a strong comeback season after going 10-7 last year and Max Scherzer has three Cy Youngs already in his short time in Washington. He may need to add another if the Nationals want to conquer the NL East. As for the Marlins, they traded their last good player to the Phillies. There’s not much else going on there.
season, and boasts the fourth highest batting average among active players. These stats make his contract, which equates to about $35 million per year, appear somewhat of a bargain for the Angels (The Ringer, “Mike Trout’s $430 Million Contract,” 03.19.2019). In theory, however, the lengthy contract is a risky move. Trout could have earned upwards of $500 million in free agency, and in all his time with the Angels, he has not won one playoff game. Some stars remained home. In the pitching department, Dallas Keuchel and Craig Kimbrel are yet to find teams the week of opening day. Kimbrel is one of the most dominant relievers of his era. While he hasn’t been the record-breaking closer of his youth in Atlanta, he is still elite, and he finished last season with a World Series victory as a member of the Red Sox. Keuchel is a Cy Young winner, three years removed. His production was down last season, but the greatest obstacle in his way is that he is barely on the wrong side of 30, an increasingly dangerous place to be for MLB players. Even players that did find teams were undervalued. At 33, Adam Jones signed a oneyear deal with the Arizona Diamondbacks after no one else stepped forward. Yasmani Grandal, one of the best catchers in the In the vacuum of play, money talks world, also only got a one-year deal. He’s take center stage: just 30—young in real people years, but a diIn the year 2030 (yes, really. 2030.) Mike nosaur in baseball years, it seems. Trout will become an unrestricted free agent. That’s the year that his unprecedented Play ball: 12-year, $430 million contract extension with After a two-game exhibition series bethe Los Angeles Angels expires. The two- tween the Athletics and Mariners in Japan time MVP has led the American League in last week, the season begins for the other 28 WAR nearly every year since his sophomore teams on Mar. 28.
Courtesy of Keith Allison via Flickr
year as two other big earners this winter: Manny Machado and Bryce Harper. Both signed lucrative deals, with the San Diego Padres and Philadelphia Phillies, respectively. For the Padres, this isn’t the first big free agent landing in recent memory. In the winter of 2014-15, the team virtually rebuilt their roster with a slew of acquisitions that included Craig Kimbrel, James Shields, Justin Upton and Matt Kemp. For their investments, they haven’t done better than fourth in the NL West. Machado, however, is a game changer, and this time they didn’t have to trade away any key prospects (like Yasmani Grandal in 2015) to acquire him. Machado is the type of talent that can transform a franchise and energize a fan base. His talent is obvious, as he posted his best season last year (11th in position player Wins Above Replacement [WAR], which measures a player’s value above a statistically generic replacement) while dogged by rumors and trade talks. Still, $300 million for ten years and a no-trade clause isn’t bad for a guy that said, “I’m not the type of player that’s going to be ‘Johnny Hustle.’” Harper didn’t have to go far to find a new
Courtesy of Thomson200 via Wikimedia Commons
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team. He’s staying in the NL East for the next decade and a half. Just before Trout signed his $430 million monstrosity, the Phillies signed the outfielder to the what was then the richest contract in team sports history: thirteen years for $330 million. Signing Harper was the keystone acquisition that completed the Phillies’ season. They added catcher JT Realmuto, former MVP Andrew McCutchen and former All-Star shortstop Jean Segura. The Phillies are poised to take a giant leap from their 80-82 record last year.
Bryce Harper and Manny Machado chat during a 2015 game, when they played for the Nationals and Orioles, respectively. This offseason, Harper signed a 13-year, $330 million deal with the Phillies, and Machado signed for 10 years, $300 million with the Padres.
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SPORTS
March 28, 2019
Page 19
Chip, chip, cheerio: Brewers’ golf competes in England Kelly Pushie
Guest Reporter
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very spring break the women’s golf team takes a trip, usually to some warm American climate, but this year the group mixed things up, jetting across the pond to the United Kingdom. The team spent their days playing different courses, meeting members of the golf clubs at which they played and getting the chance to sightsee around London. All six members of the team and their coaches attended the trip. Sophomore Morgan Yi reflected on her week abroad, explaining over email that the trip was “a unique and exciting experience.” The team met people from Burford Ladies, Oxford Golf Club Ladies and the club members at Royal St. George’s. “My favorite part of the trip was getting to meet the players at the different golf clubs,” Yi commented. “All of the players were extremely kind, helpful, and interesting to talk to.” This trip was also a first for many of the players, all but one of whom had never been to the U.K. before. Yi explained that
it was everyone’s first time playing golf in the U.K., which was an all-around exciting experience. Additionally, this spring break trip presented numerous opportunities for team bonding. Given that the team stayed in the same Airbnbs and hotels throughout the trip, they were able to spend significant time in each other’s company. “We also got to explore London during our free time together, which gave us an opportunity to get to know each other better,” Yi explained. “Between sightseeing and eating meals together, this trip offered plenty of time for the team to connect.” Andy Jennings has been the women’s golf head coach for several years, leading the program from 2003-2007, and then returning in 2015. For Jennings, this trip proved special because it was the first time that the team has ever gone abroad for their spring break. “We always go to Florida, [California], or maybe the Carolinas so [we] decided we needed a change and the team chose England,” Jennings explained via email. “It was something I was able to make happen
relatively easily in terms of the logistics, so it was a great choice.” The women’s team documented their trip on the Vassar Athletics website and talked about some experiences they had on it. The first entry noted that when the team arrived, Coach Jennings’ good friend, who used to be a taxi driver in London, took the team around to show them the sights. “We drove around for over an hour listening to all the history of the buildings, including the most famous such as Westminster Abbey, the House of Commons and Buckingham Palace,” wrote the team on their Vassar Athletics blog. Jenning’s group had the opportunity to play some incredible courses while they were in the U.K. The team competed against Oxford University Ladies team in a great match that ended in a tie. Coach Jennings explained that playing at Royal St. Georges was probably the highlight of the trip. Considered one of the top courses in the world, Royal St. Georges is famous in the professional golfing community. It has hosted 14 PGA Open Championships and
will host again in 2020. Said Jennings, “[It was] an incredible honor for us to be there for two days, playing the course, dining in the dining room.” The biggest challenge the team faced in the U.K. was the windy weather, but, as Jennings put it, “that is spring golf in the U.K.” The team commented on the wind in their journal posts, citing an afternoon that they spent practicing their “punch shots” in 35 mph winds, a typical day for golfers in England during this time of year. Overall, Coach Jennings was pleased with the way the trip turned out: “The players were all really responsible and were great team players, represented Vassar really well and came away with a real appreciation of the people, the culture and, of course, the golf.” The Brewers enjoyed traveling over spring break and came away with some amazing memories. This trip also gave the team the opportunity to start their season off on the right foot and prepare for their first scheduled match this spring, which is the Vassar College invitational, set to take place on April 20 and 21.
VC women’s basketball team concludes historic season
Courtesy of Nick Jallat In her tenth year at Vassar, Head Coach Candace Signor-Brown and her assistants won Liberty League Coaching Staff of the Year honors. It was Signor-Brown’s third time earning the award while at Vassar. Jonah Frere-Holmes Guest Reporter
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average student, just making it through the coldest part of winter, surviving finals and reaching winter break is an accomplishment. For the Brewers, however, December and January also meant winning every single game, as they went 14-0 during a stretch of the year where even getting to class is a test of willpower. Alone on the tundra of Vassar’s campus for all of January break, the team shaped an identity that is sure to carry the Brewers to success beyond this season. Senior Maddie Leong, who was named Liberty League Defensive Player of the Year, spoke to the unique nature of her team: “Everyone was bought in. I barely ever went to the gym without seeing someone else from the team getting extra shots up. And we all had a lot of fun working hard.” The Brewers’ positive energy was evident in everything they did, from their WoHA (Work Hard) mantra that they stamped on their arms before every game, to the #TrickShotTuesdays that graced the Instagram feeds of many Vassar students. Indeed, the upbeat cry of “Let’s go VC!” could be heard often, and at great distances, from the Brewer bench and locker room before, during and after games.
Winning is fun, and Vassar women’s basketball has good reason to expect a fun 201920 campaign. The Brewers return their top seven scorers, including Nick, Cenan and junior sharpshooter Isa Peczuh, whose 83 three-pointers set a Vassar single-season record. First-years Dani Douglas and Sarah Gillooly played major minutes off the bench, and Coach Signor-Brown, who for the third time in her tenure won Liberty League Coaching Staff of the Year (along with assistant Claire Mattox), is sure to be hard at work on the recruiting trail this spring and summer, looking to bolster an already promising squad. Nick, surveying the future, said: “One of our main goals was to win a Liberty League championship. Unfortunately, we came up short so it will definitely be a focus next season. In addition, our eyes will be set on returning to the NCAA tournament and advancing deeper into the bracket.” The remarkable success of this season, combined with the returning talent and the Brewers’ noted work ethic, promises an exciting season come next winter. As Nick promised, “We now know what it takes to compete at such a high level and we will be working every day to elevate our game.”
Courtesy of Nick Jallat
ll good things must come to an end. Even historically good things. For Vassar’s women’s basketball team, the end to a storybook season came on the first night of March in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. After hanging with the Knights of SUNY Geneseo for three quarters, the Brewers were buried by an uncharacteristic three-point barrage that helped Geneseo outscore the Brewers 20-5 in the fourth quarter en route to a 74-55 final. Despite the loss, Vassar finished the season having set school records in conference wins (14) and consecutive wins (16). The Brewers—knocked out of the Liberty League tournament in the semifinals by RIT—received an at-large bid to the tournament, an acknowledgment of the impressive regular season they put together. For most of the game, Vassar and Geneseo were locked in a back-and-forth battle—the stuff March is made of. After the Knights raced out to a 19-8 lead in the first six minutes, Head Coach Candice Signor-Brown called timeout and steadied her team. Prior
to the game, the tenth-year coach had admitted that the Brewers were “less balanced” with the loss of second-leading scorer and Liberty League Second Teamer Jackie Cenan, a junior, whose knee injury in the team’s penultimate Liberty League contest swung the momentum of that game and, to hear any number of Vassar fans tell it, the trajectory of the season as a whole. Brown and the Brewers had faith in the depth of their squad, however, and after the first-quarter timeout, Vassar stormed back, putting to rest any questions about how they’d survive in the Big Dance without their most versatile player. Led by junior Sophie Nick, a First Team All-Liberty League selection, Vassar scored 11 of the game’s next 13 points, cutting the deficit to four by the end of the first quarter. Said Nick via email of the Brewers’ tenacity: “We let them get out to an early lead, but we were able to battle back and showed a lot of grit.” Senior forward Julia Roelke provided a noticeable spark off the bench, hitting two jumpers in the first half, rebounding tenaciously and deflecting a number of Geneseo’s passes. After trading baskets for the entire second quarter, the Brewers and the Knights went to their locker rooms with the Knights leading 37-34. The third quarter was full of the same blow-for-blow action as the first half; Geneseo twice built up a nine-point lead, only for Vassar to battle back. Nick hit a jumper at the third-quarter buzzer, pulling the Brewers within four going into the final period. A Nick three-pointer brought Vassar within two points with eight minutes to play—but then the floodgates opened. Geneseo, a team that averaged just six three-point makes per game, made five in the final seven minutes alone to run away with the contest. The loss wasn’t due to lack of execution, according to Nick, who said, “The plan going into the game was to keep them out of the paint and make every shot difficult.” With the Knights shooting a mere 5-for-15 from two-point range in the second half, it was their prolific long-range shooting that carried them to the win. The Brewers finished the season 21-7, and 14-4 in the Liberty League. They ran off one of the most remarkable streaks in Vassar history, winning 16 straight games. For the
Junior Sophie Nick drives to the basket in a game against SUNY New Paltz. Nick led the Brewers throughout the season, averaging 15.9 points per game and 9.3 rebounds per game. Her consistent inside play was pivotal to the Brewers’ 21-7 overall record.
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SPORTS
Page 20
March 28, 2019
On eve of World Cup, USWNT’s fight for equity rages on Myles Olmsted Sports Editor
I
’ve watched way too many hours of sports in my short life. Way too many. NBA Finals, Super Bowls, MLB World Series, Olympic Finals, yes, but also Little League World Series, regular season Arena Football games, English third division soccer matches. Almost all of those hours meld together, contributing to the general blob of largely useless sports knowledge floating around my brain. Some memories, however, stand out from the blob. Some moments of sports fandom are so exciting, remarkable or painful—they implant themselves in you and never let go, pulling you back to your couch in front of the TV again and again and again and again. My grandfather may remember where he was when the first set foot on the moon, but I remember where I was when the New York Giants ruined my New England Patriots’ perfect season in 2008, and when Bayern Munich striker Robert Lewandowski scored five goals in nine minutes against Wolfsburg in 2015. My list isn’t long, but each of the entrants still invokes an emotion when I rewatch highlights however many years later. One of these moments was Abby Wambach’s game-tying goal for the U.S Women’s National Soccer Team (USWNT) in their quarterfinal match against Brazil in the 2011 World Cup. I was in South Carolina for a family reunion, huddled in front of the living room TV in our rental house with my brother and mom. The U.S. had taken an early lead off a Brazilian own goal. In the 65th minute, however, Rachel Van Hollebeke (then Buehler) had been sent off for taking down Brazil’s ingenious Marta in front of goal. Hope Solo had stopped the ensuing penalty kick, but the referee called for it to be retaken, claiming a
U.S. defender entered the box early. Marta converted her second attempt to tie the game at one. Just two minutes into overtime, Marta scored a wonderfully crafty looping goal. Throughout overtime, up a player, Brazil had clung to their lead, feigning injuries to waste time. The clock wound down. I grew desperate, yelling at the Brazilian team. Then in stoppage time, the 122nd minute of play, precious seconds accumulated as a result of the Brazilian side’s time wasting, American winger Megan Rapinoe played an early cross from the left flank with her weak foot. The cross floated to the back post, flying past a stumbling defender. The Brazilian keeper came for the ball but couldn’t reach it. There at the back post, parked just beyond the keeper’s outstretched arms, was Wambach. The ball landed squarely on the striker’s prolific forehead and shot into the open net. Tie game. I remember jumping up, screaming and running around the room. The U.S. would convert all five of their penalties in the ensuing shootout to win and move on to the semifinal. As an American soccer fan, it’s been a blessing to have the USWNT to root for. They’ve been one of, if not the best, women’s national team in the world for most of my lifetime, capturing their second World Cup in 2015 and winning Olympic gold in 2004, 2008 and 2012. Over the last decade, squad fixtures like Wambach, Rapinoe, Carli Lloyd, Alex Morgan and Hope Solo have become legitimate stars. The USWNT’s deep World Cup and Olympic runs draw more and more American eyes to soccer. Their dominant performance against Japan in the 2015 World Cup Final was the most watched soccer match in U.S. history—for women or men—with viewership peaking at around 30
million during the second half (New York Times, “Women’s World Cup Final Was Most-Watched Soccer Game in United States History,” 03.06.2015). Now we’re only ten weeks away from the start of the 2019 Women’s World Cup, to be held in France. The U.S. plays its first game of the tournament against Thailand on June 11. The Stars and Stripes are well positioned to defend their 2015 win, ranked first in the world by FIFA. I’m excited. The World Cup squad will contain many of the sport’s big names: Lloyd, Rapinoe, Morgan, Christen Press, Tobin Heath, Julie Ertz. The team should be strong (beginning in 2017 they ran off a 28-game unbeaten streak) but it won’t be a cakewalk. After losing 3-1 to France in Jan. 2019, ending the unbeaten streak, the USWNT tied both England and Japan in the SheBelieves Cup. With ten weeks to go, the focus should be on the players, the teams and the tournament that awaits in France. American fans should be debating what the inclusion of veteran defender Allie Krieger in the squad for two upcoming friendlies means for a defense that’s looked uncharacteristically shaky so far in 2019. Unfortunately, as too often is the case with women’s soccer, the competition itself isn’t allowed to take center stage. On Friday, Mar. 8, a group of 28 women from the current pool of USWNT players filed a federal lawsuit against the United States Soccer Federation (U.S. Soccer), the non-profit that governs soccer in the U.S. and operates the women’s and men’s national teams. The suit alleges “institutionalized gender discrimination” against the women’s team and seeks equitable treatment and pay, as well as damages including back pay. The lawsuit is just the latest in a long-run-
Women’s Track and Field
ning saga. USWNT players have long spoken out against the disparity in pay that persists between them and their male counterparts (by one comparison’s estimate, $4,950 per game for a set of friendlies to $13,166 per game) despite the fact that the women’s team has enjoyed far more competitive success. In 2016 four players filed a charge with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (an agency that lacks penal authority), alleging the women were paid more than four times less than the men, despite earning more revenue (ESPN, “USWNT lawsuit: What we know and what it means going forward.” 03.11.19). By filing the lawsuit, the 28 players are taking a significant leap forward in their personal fight for equality, and they seem to understand the power their position as athletes grants them to influence the general fight. Said veteran center back Becky Sauerbrunn to ESPN, “This team, we’re kind of a visible team—people watch us play and know our names, so I think it’s important that we kind of take that on, and we show that we are empowered women and that we will fight for things that we believe in, like pay equity” (ESPN, “USWNT lawsuit: What we know and what it means going forward,” 03.11.19). These players deserve our greatest applause and support. It’s a shame, however, that, while preparing to go to battle in the rapidly approaching World Cup, the American women must also continue this fight. U.S. Soccer must do better. When the World Cup opens in early June, I’ll be watching, rooting for another American win, rooting for another moment like Wambach’s goal eight years ago and rooting for another piece of sports magic that USWNT athletes produce—despite the wrongs of their federation.
Men’s Baseball
Stockton Invitational
Vassar College 13, Bard College 14
March 24, 2019
March 25, 2019
After competing over spring break in Arizona, the women’s track and field team continued their season at the Stockton Invitational. The Brewers were impressive in the 3000 meter, with sophomore Elsa Erling, first-year Hannah Martin, senior Megan Horn and junior Kate Lawson all taking first through fourth. In the 1500, senior Elise Matera (pictured) earned second, while first-year Seneca Straub took fourth. Brewers will compete again this weekend at the Monmouth Invitational.
After nine days of games in Florida to open the season, Coach Matthew Righter’s guys returned up north to face Bard four times in two days. Day one in Annandale-on-Hudson saw the Brewers eek out two close wins, 5-4 and 7-6. Vassar dropped the first game of the second double header, 7-6, before cruising to a 14-3 win to round out the series. Third baseman Matt Martino, batting in the three hole, went 10-14 on the weekend, scoring five runs and adding four RBIs.
Men’s Volleyball
Women’s Lacrosse
Vassar College 0, Messiah College 3
Vassar College 12, St. Lawrence University 9
March 23, 2019
March 23, 2019
The Brewers lost in straight sets to Messiah College, 23-25, 22-25, 2125. The loss was Vassar’s third in a row, dropping them to 11-10 on the year. Junior Kevin Ros (pictured) led the Brewers with 10 kills and senior Daniel Halbeg had 22 assists. Coach Richard Gary’s squad will look to get back on track at Elmira, a United Volleyball Conference (UVC) foe, on Friday, Mar. 29. VC is 3-3 in conference. They have seven more regular season games before UVC postseason play begins Apr. 12. Written by Myles Olmsted, Sports Editor Photos courtesy of Nick Jallat
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Tied at halftime, the women’s lacrosse team scored the first three goals of the second half and held on to win 12-9 over St. Lawrence. The win was Vassar’s fourth in a row, bringing them to 4-2 on the year, and came in the first contest of the year with Liberty League opponents, against whom the Brewers will play the remainder of their regular season games. Firstyear Caeli Porette scored thrice for the Burgundy and Grey, while juniors Kelly Pushie and Grace GoodwinBoyd (pictured) added two apiece.