Misc 11.8.18

The Miscellany News

Since 1866 | miscellanynews.org

Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY

Volume CLI | Issue 9

November 8, 2018

Vassar, DCC launch Vass Shakers dazzle, delight crowd curricular partnership Meghan Hayfield GUEST REPORTER

Chris Dillon

uring the next two weeks, Vassar students will be flooding their major advisors’ offices to get PIN numbers and discuss course offerings before pre-registration ends on Friday, Nov. 16. For some students, Vassar College’s recent agreement with Dutchess Community College (DCC) may be worth considering when planning their future studies.

Vassar College and DCC now offer students the possibility of taking courses at both institutions in a new partnership announced on Oct. 15. Full-time students can now take up to two courses per year at the other college without paying extra tuition.

Vassar President Elizabeth Bradley and DCC President Pamela Edington discussed the possibility of opening up access to the two institutions over the course of the past few months, according to a Vassar Office of Communications Oct. 15 press release.

Edington said, “By leveraging the resources of both Vassar College and DCC, we will be able to pro-

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See DCC on page 5

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ance invites both creativity and collaboration—two aspects that, when done well, can make a performance utterly entrancing. On Friday, Nov. 2, Vass Shakers, the only non–audition based dance organization on campus, put on their annual fall performance. With only five weeks of rehearsals and one tech week, the group pulled together Friday’s show in a minimal amount of time and still successfully entranced viewers with fresh creativity and On Friday, Nov. 2, Vass Shakers, the only non–audition based fluid collaboration among dancdance organization on campus, showcased its fall performance, ers. which included seven dances that varied in genre and style.

See DANCE on page 7 Kimberly Nguyen/The Miscellany News

GUEST REPORTER

vide enhanced opportunities for students of both institutions.”

She continued, “Partnerships are key to achieving shared goals.”

Executive Director of the Vassar Urban Education Initiative John Bradley said that the project began a year ago with talks between members of the history departments at both institutions. “The history department [at DCC] helps run the Honors Program, and so they felt like they had students who were eligible to transfer, and they were just wondering why it wasn’t happening more frequently,” Bradley explained.

Bradley said that he first heard about the discussion between the history departments from Vassar Professor of History Maria Höhn and wanted to tie it to his other efforts to open Vassar to more members of the local community.

“We continue to try to find ways to encourage students from this area, particularly Poughkeepsie High School, to attend Vassar,” said Bradley. “So I think creating more bridges will be helpful.”

According to Bradley, DCC is

College bids farewell to di Bartolo Leah Cates

SENIOR EDITOR

This Friday, Nov. 9, marks Dean of Students Adriana di Bartolo’s final day at Vassar. In an emailed statement sent to the student body on Oct. 29, Interim Dean of the College Carlos Alamo-Pastrana announced that di Bartolo had accepted a position as Associate Dean of Students at Scripps Col-

lege, one of the five colleges that comprise the Claremont College Consortium in California.

Di Bartolo’s duties as Associate Dean of Students will include supervising residential life, student conduct and case management, such as assisting students in times of crisis. In this role, di Bartolo will report to and work closely with Vice President for Student

Affairs and Dean of Students Charlotte H. Johnson, whom di Bartolo describes as their mentor.

They further noted their enthusiasm about working at a women’s college: “The fact that we are still questioning women’s right to choose and women in leadership roles...we can’t rest on our laurels...to be part of the project of See DI BARTOLO on page 4

Field hockey wins Liberty League Teddy Chmyz COPY EDITOR

efense wins championships.

The Vassar Field Hockey team provided a convincing argument for this oft-repeated saying on Saturday, Nov. 1, as they took home their first-ever Liberty League Championship in a 1-0 shutout of the University of Rochester Yellow Jackets.

Senior captain Monica Feeley

Courtesy of Joe Clifford

The Vassar field hockey team (18-1) celebrates their 1-0 win over RIT, which gave the program its first-ever Liberty League title.

ment. The performance of Feeley, and the defense as a whole, was key to the team’s victory in what was the program’s first-ever appearance in the Liberty League Championship game.

Junior forward Steph Palma emphasized the historic and emotional natures of the team’s victory, saying: “[It’s] a little crazy. It’s the first time in history that Vassar has even been on the board to win, so the fact that we actually got to do it this year is amazing … We’ve been working for this all season. It‘s really really nice that we finally could come together as a unit and get the job done.”

While a 1-0 result is rare in what is normally a higher-scoring sport, this result was not entirely unpredictable given the nature of the two teams competing in the finals. Vassar (18-1) and Rochester (18-2) were first and second respectively in the Liberty League in least goals allowed per game, and Vassar had only allowed seven goals across 18 Liberty League games prior to the finals.

According to senior captain Alyssa More, in this particular game, the Brewers’ stalwart defense also deserves much of the credit See FIELD HOCKEY on page 19

Inside this issue

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Volunteers make contributions to food insecurity FEATURES solutions

15

PETA harmful, hypocritical on levels personal OPINIONS and political

Courtesy of the Asian Students’ Alliance

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commented on how special this victory was for the team: “We worked so hard for this, and [as a senior] I’ve been working hard for four years to finally get to this, so we’re just so happy.”

Feeley, a defender, took home the award for the tournament’s Most Outstanding Performer, as she was a key member of a defense that did not allow a goal across both games of the tourna-

ASA Night Market is an annual celebration and community gathering.

Pictured in the middle is our excited reporter mingling with the group.

Gourmets gather for evening of jubilee Duncan Aronson REPORTER

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his past Saturday, Nov. 3, Vassar’s various Asian-identifying student organizations erected food booths in the College Center for the Night Market event hosted by the Asian Students’ Alliance (ASA).

Setting up and running a food booth is no easy feat; choosing foods, calculating prices, handling funds and coordinating helpers and cooking

17 HUMOR

utensils are just a few of the myriad responsibilities. With all of these duties and the work that went into the Night Market event, it’s worth asking: What makes recreating a night market at Vassar rewarding?

What is the significance of serving ethnic food?

Before even getting into the specifics of the different foods offered, it’s important to consider the overSee NIGHT MARKET on page 11

Booth enthusiast lays foundation to assert Deece domination

The Miscellany News

Page 2

November 8, 2018

Editor-in-Chief Talya Phelps

Courtesy of Allegra DeNooyer

Allegra DeNooyer ’20 is studying abroad in Paris, France, where she took the above photo from the Centre Pompidou, a modern art museum. DeNooyer writes of an excursion to London, “I recently left Paris for the first time since I’ve been here, to go to London for a weekend. In London I promptly tried to speak French to the border agents before remembering that I actually speak their language like, fluently. It was relaxing to be in a place where I could eat good pizza and didn’t have to rehearse my drink request multiple times in my head before panic-ordering as I normally do. But I also found myself relieved to be back in Paris after the weekend, feeling a smug sense of pride watching tourists try to navigate the airport and the metro while I confidently strutted back to my apartment.” To read more about DeNooyer’s adventures, plus those of fellow JYA-ers, visit farandaway.miscellanynews.org!

The Miscellany News 8

November

Thursday

Weekender_ 9

November

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Friday

November

Saturday

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Sunday November

Volleyball (W) NCAA’s

12:00 p.m. | Bridge Cafe | Music Dept.

10:00 a.m. | KH Gym | Athletics

Butterbeer Classic Tournament

Fencing (M/W) Vassar Invitational

8:00 a.m. | Joss Beach | Vassar Quidditch

10:00 a.m. | Walker Bays | Athletics

Ilya Kofman - Growth and Geometry

Lecture - Lady Elena Cornaro 5:30 p.m. | Library Class of ‘51 Reading Room | Library

Students of Sobriety Group

2:40 p.m. | RH 312-Lecture Room | Math Dept.

Wordsmiths Open Mic

9:30 a.m. | RH 211 | AA Poughkeepsie

Vassar College & Community Wind Ensemble

Kaleidoscope

6:00 p.m. | RH 200-Auditorium | Wordsmiths

Field Hockey vs. NCAA’s

Bad Hamlet

10:00 a.m. | Prentiss Weinberg Turf Field | Athletics

7:00 p.m. | KH 205-Club Room | Merely Players

Volleyball (W) NCAA’s

Eiji Sekine Lecture

Elena Cornaro play - Kairos Italy Theater production

Bad Hamlet

Imprints Opening Reception

7:30 p.m. | Main Library | Library

1:00 p.m. | KH 205-Club Room | Merely Players

Barefoot Monkeys Indoor Show

Swimming (M/W) vs. RPI

5:30 p.m. | Plamer Gallery | Campus Activities

Gifford Lecturer, Maggie Nelson

3:00 p.m. | SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.

Paper Critique 9:00 p.m. | Rose Parlor | The Miscellany News

10:00 a.m. | KH Gym | Athletics

5:30 p.m. | TH 203-Auditorium | Chinese and Japanese Dept.

8:00 p.m. | SC 212-Spitzer Auditorium | Barefoot Monkeys

1:00 p.m. | Walker Pool | Athletics

Senior Recital: Allison Breeze

6:00 p.m. | TH 102-Auditorium | English Dept.

Tick Tick Boom 9:30 p.m. | The Mug | FWA

1:30 p.m. | SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.

Tick Tick Boom

LATH LUV

Tick Tick Boom

8:30 p.m. | The Mug | FWA

10:30 p.m. | Villard Room | Lathrop House, VICE Music, and VCSS

Bad Hamlet

Leah Cates

Contributing Editors

Noah Purdy Charlotte Varcoe-Wolfson Laila Volpe Features Opinions Humor and Satire Arts Sports Design Outreach Copy

Assistant Features Assistant Design Assistant Social Media Assistant Online

Music on the Bridge Series

5:00 p.m. | Villard Room | International Services and Special Projects

Senior Editor

Andrea Yang Steven Park Hannah Gaven Izzy Braham Myles Olmsted Rose Parker Kimberly Nguyen Teddy Chmyz Jessica Moss

Frankie Knuckles Lilly Tipton Patrick Tanella Chris Allen

Reporters Duncan Aronson Abby Tarwater Columnists Catherine Bither Isabella Boyne Jimmy Christon Christian Flemm Jesser Horowitz Dean Kopitsky Izzy Migani Emmett O’Malley Sylvan Perlmutter Holly Shulman Blair Webber Copy Anna Blake Natalie Bober Samantha Cavagnolo Madeline Seibel Dean Amanda Herring Phoebe Jacoby Anastasia Koutavas Lucy Leonard Francesca Lucchetti Caitlin Patterson Gillian Redstone Cartoonist Frank

3:00 p.m. | The Mug | FWA

7:00 p.m. | KH 205-Club Room | Merely Players Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Vassar College Chamber Singers 8:00 p.m. | SH Martel Recital Hall | Music Dept.

Courtesy of Vassar College

The Office of International Services and Special Projects will host Kaleidoscope, Vassar’s international festival, in the Villard Room at 5 p.m. this Thursday, Nov. 8. It will feature a dessert competition, talent show and flag ceremony.

Cipher 8:00 p.m. | The AULA | Hip Hop 101

Barefoot Monkeys Indoor Show 8:00 p.m. | SC 212-Spitzer Auditorium | Barefoot Monkeys

Tick Tick Boom 10:00 p.m. | The Mug | FWA

The Barefoot Monkeys will perform their second show of the year, “Fulfilling Our Quantitative Requirement,” in Sanders Classroom on Friday, Nov. 9, and Saturday, Nov. 10.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

CORRECTION POLICY The Miscellany News will only accept corrections for any misquotes, misrepresentations or factual errors for an article within the semester it is printed.

The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.

NEWS

November 8, 2018

Page 3

Alum panel discusses NYC affordable housing crisis Meghan Hayfield GUEST REPORTER

n Oct. 30, the Career Development Office, along with the Office of Alumnae/i Engagement, the Geography Department, the Urban Studies Department and the Sociology Department, sponsored the lecture “Priced Out: the Affordable Housing Crisis in New York City.” Guest panelists and Vassar alumnae Leah Goodridge ’04 and Jenny Laurie ’80 spoke as part of the event.

Goodridge is the supervising attorney of the Housing Project at Mobilization for Justice (previously known as MFY Legal Services), which defends tenants against unfair practices, and a board member of Housing Court Answers, which provides information about Housing Court to people without lawyers. In 2018, Mayor Bill de Blasio appointed Goodridge to serve on the New York City Rent Guidelines Board, a mandated group that establishes rent adjustments for rent-stabilized units. Laurie is the Executive Director of Housing Court Answers and has worked there since 2008.

Both Goodridge and Laurie were English majors at Vassar, where they came to be interested in politics and social activism. As Laurie said, “It was really at Vassar where I had my political awakening.”

After graduating Vassar, Laurie realized she wanted to go into a career in housing when she and her roommates were kicked out of their New York City apartment for paying their rent a few days late. She explained, “It was that experience with my apartment that made me realize that I could combine both things, like my interest in po-

Po

up

l Roun a c i d lit Ae n a K h a n

Housing advocates Leah Goodridge ’04 and Jenny Laurie ’80 spoke on the affordable housing crisis in New York City during “Priced Out,” a panel hosted by the CDO. litical organizing and having a job that could pay my bills.”

Goodridge credits her desire to get involved in housing to her status as a New York City native, since she watched rent prices jump from when she was young to when she wanted to live on her own after graduate school. She found it challenging to live affordably in Manhattan after graduating and wanted to do something to change that. Goodridge also attributes her interest in housing law to classes she took while in law school at the University of California, Los Angeles.

Through their work, Goodridge and Laurie seek to address urgent social realities in the city they both call home. In New York City, 63,000 people sleep in shelters each night, and apartments with monthly rent under $1,100 are almost impossible to find. Furthermore, since New York is primarily a renter city, it is challenging for people to find apartments to buy.

This fight for affordable, fair housing for all people in New York City is what drew Goodridge and Laurie to the New York housing

issue. At the lecture, they both spoke of public housing versus rent-regulated housing, which are essentially the two main forms of housing in New York City.

Laurie additionally detailed how the situation has changed since she got involved in the issue in the 1980s. At the time, there were only around 10,000 homeless people in New York City, whereas now there are upwards of 63,000. Laurie also said that the issues in housing have changed dramatically since the 1980s: In the past, affording hot water may have posed a challenge to a potential renter, but now people simply cannot even afford an apartment in the first place. Gentrification in different neighborhoods has also caused the rent of apartments to rise dramatically.

Goodridge and Laurie are involved in other issues besides housing affordability. In recent years, a common problem has arisen in which landlords find loopholes in contracts to make it appear that tenants are violating the agreement. Additionally, both Leah and Goodridge support tenants in issues such as a rat infestation or a lack of hot water. Anoth-

nation on Election Day. The economy now joins the many other factors informing voters’ decisions at the polls. Many Republican candidates hope to focus on the positive aspects of the economy, but it has fallen into a category of lower rhetorical importance as President Trump focuses on attacking the contemporary immigration system. He recently tweeted, “If you want your Stocks to go down, I strongly suggest voting Democrat… They like the Venezuela financial model, High Taxes & Open Borders!” (Twitter, [at]realDonaldTrump, 10.30.2018). According to a Kaiser Family Foundation poll, 55 percent of respondents found immigration to be a very important topic, but it still lagged behind gun policy at 60 percent and the economy at 64 percent; the latter point is why GOP leaders at the state and federal levels hope to redirect the conversation with which Trump leads at rallies (The Hill, “Robust economy drowned out by Trump’s midterm message,” 11.04.2018).

The Senate Judiciary Committee released a 414-page report stating that it found no evidence to support allegations of sexual misconduct made against Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh during his confirmation hearings. Likewise, it found no corroborating evidence in the supplemental FBI investigation.

This includes the statements made by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford that Kavanaugh

attempted to rape her when they were in high school and by Deborah Ramirez that Kavanaugh exposed himself to her when they were undergraduates at Yale.

The Committee could not locate evidence pertaining to several anonymous accusations. Kavanaugh, whom the Senate confirmed on Oct. 6, adamantly denied all allegations (The Hill, “Senate Judiciary panel says no evidence found to support accusations against Kavanaugh,” 11.04.2018).

Around the world…

Tensions surrounding the involvement of the Saudi Arabian government in the premeditated murder and dismemberment of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi continue to run high. Khashoggi entered the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul after residing in the United States for a year in self-imposed exile to file papers that would allow him to marry his Turkish fiancée. He never emerged, and Saudi Arabia recently confirmed that he had been murdered after weeks of denials by the Saudis that he was not missing. Turkish media, supported by President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, reported that Khashoggi’s body was put into five suitcases and removed from the premises after a 15-man hit squad strangled him. This made it easier for the hitmen to dispose of the body, which remains missing. In an opinion piece for The

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Courtesy of Wikipedia

[CW: This article makes mention of sexual assault and murder.]

In this week’s headlines...

The office of current Georgia Secretary of State Brian Kemp has launched an inquiry into the Democratic Party of Georgia, stating, “[It was] a failed attempt to hack the state’s voter registration system.”

No details were released except that the inquiry had been opened after receiving information about failed efforts to breach the online voter registration and My Voter Page and that investigators have requested the assistance of the FBI. Democratic leaders have since denounced the inquiry as an abuse of power in the days leading up to the midterm elections, in which Kemp is running as the Republican gubernatorial candidate. His Democratic opponent, former Georgia State Legislator Stacey Abrams, labeled the move “desperate,” fueling criticisms against Kemp as a master of voter suppression after he refused to recuse himself from his office’s investigation, purged over two million names from rolls and suppressed over 50,000 mostly Black voters (The New York Times, “Brian Kemp’s Office, Without Citing Evidence, Investigates Georgia Democrats Over Alleged ‘Hack,’” 11.04.2018).

Following the addition of a quarter of a million jobs to the economy and a 48-year low unemployment rate of 3.7 percent, experts expect the “blue wave” to sweep the

Courtesy of Sarah Kopp

O

er problem they deal with is public housing repairs.

In all of these cases, Goodridge stated, “An attorney can [significantly] help the tenant win the case.” Further, Goodridge spoke about what kinds of clients she tends to see: “About 80 percent of my clients are people of color, and most are low-income.” Goodridge noted the intersections of race, gender, citizen status and class in the housing crisis.

She says that there is a common theme of building owners treating low-income people differently; Goodridge tries to fight for these individuals to receive the benefits for which they pay.

In terms of values, Laurie reflected, “Honesty, authenticity and organizing are the most important things in what I do.” Goodridge concurred, stating, “I try to understand the plight of my clients [in order to be able to better argue for them].”

Goodridge and Laurie closed the lecture by speaking of how widespread and prevalent the affordable housing issue is and how important their work is. After the lecture, attendee Tiara Coleman ’22 said, “I definitely enjoyed it. Honestly, it hit me personally because I am from New York City and I am a product of public housing, so that’s why I wanted to be here...when I go back home I think about my mom and where I was raised.”

Goodridge and Laurie felt that such a relevant topic would appeal to students desiring to live in New York City post-graduation.

Their work in supporting New York City tenants indicates that, while housing is not always easy or fair, there are still people dedicated to defending the right to live in a safe and affordable residence.

Washington Post, Erdogan stated that, in regards to high-ranking members of this group close to Saudi Crown Prince and de facto leader Mohammed Bin Salman, “We must reveal the identities of the puppet masters behind Khashoggi’s killing.”

The Saudi government has launched an investigation into the matter with the purpose of punishing those who are responsible (Al Jazeera, “Khashoggi’s body parts transported in suitcases,” 11.04.2018).

In Egypt, thousands are mourning the death of seven Coptic Christians in the Minya province after the latest attack by Islamic State extremists at the same site of the deaths of 28 Christians in May 2017.

The Interior Ministry stated that the 19 perpetrators of the attack were killed in gunfire in a desert outside Minya, posting images of the bodies and their tent. Coptic Christians are among the most persecuted minorities in Egypt (BBC, “Coptic Christian Attack: Egypt police ‘kill 19 attackers,’” 11.04.18).

In Pakistan, lawmakers are now taking a more critical eye to blasphemy policies passed under the regime of former dictator Mohammad Zia ul-Haq in the 1980s, whose punishments ranged from life in prison to the death sentence. The catalyst for this is the acquittal for a Punjabi Christian woman, Asia Bibi, after she spent eight years on death row for the criticism of the Prophet Muhammad and won an appeal against the conviction. The Islamist Tehreek-e-Labbaik (TLP) party led violent protests throughout the last week that prompted Bibi’s lawyer Saif ul-Malook to flee the country, citing fear for his life. The TLP has added Bibi to a list preventing her from leaving the country in a move her husband stated was a signature on her death warrant (CNN, “Asia Bibi’s lawyer flees Pakistan in fear for his life, associate says,” 11.04.2018).

NEWS

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VSA Updates Consensus Agenda—Passed Pre-Approved Allocations: • 150/150 from Pre-Organizations to Chess Club • 150/150 from Capital to SEASA • 180/180 from Discretionary to MENASA • 50/50 from Capital to Social Dancing Club Allocations: • 2568/2568 from Speakers to Wordsmiths 1100/1100 from Capital to SORI • 266/266 from Discretionary to Chabad Jewish Community • 95.65/95.65 from Capital to On Tap 2600/2900 from Speakers to BSU 1500/1500 from Social Consciousness Fund to LGBTQ+ Center Amendments to the VSA Constitution and Bylaws At its last meeting, the VSA Senate adopted four amendments to its governing documents. The first amendment elevated the Chair of First-Year Programs to a full voting member of Senate. The second changed language in the VSA Bylaws concerning forums with administrators and students.

The third amendment added the requirement that the executive board members of student orgs be currently enrolled students on campus (i.e. not on academic leave or abroad). The final amendment formalized the relationship between the student Dining Committee and the VSA. Health and Wellness Committee The committee is seeking funding from the College for stocking first-aid kits on each floor of the residential houses.

Organizations Committee Chair of Organizations Dea Oviedo ’20 is looking into org storage closet assignments, in an effort to accommodate new requests for storage space.

Residential Affairs Committee The committee is currently conducting a survey regarding student experiences with house teams, Residential Life and the sense of community within residential houses. All students are encouraged to take the survey, which can be found at https:// tinyurl.com/BoRAforum.

Equity and Inclusion Committee The Committee on Inclusion and Equity (CIE, the College’s equivalent to VSA Equity and Inclusion) met and discussed the descriptions of the committee provided on the College’s committees webpage. The Committee also discussed updating the College’s free speech statement, which was drafted and adopted in 1987, to be more contemporary in its outlook and to include guidelines for responding to free speech-related incidents on campus.

—Julian Corbett, VSA General Intern

November 8, 2018

Community Works launches campaign Jessica Moss COPY EDITOR

“V

assar College nests in a dynamic city,” said the founder of non-profit organization Mid Hudson Aquatics Galen Franchek in an email correspondence. Despite the vibrancy of its surrounding city, Vassar—and the individuals populating its campus—tend to remain unaware of the happenings in the greater Poughkeepsie area: of both its plenitudes and needs.

Community Works, Vassar’s annual giving campaign, attempts to correct this imbalance, encouraging the Vassar community to foster a connection with and give back to the local community.

The Community Works campaign offers grants to 501(c)(3) nonprofits in the Hudson Valley through donations from Vassar students, alumnae/i and employees. According to its website, “Community Works has provided over $1 million in grants to over 50 different groups since its inception in 2001” (Vassar College, “Community Works”).

This year’s grant recipients include Arts Mid-Hudson, Exodus Transitional Community, Hudson River Housing’s Liberty Station, Hudson Valley Animal Rescue and Sanctuary, Mid Hudson Aquatics, Nobody Leaves Mid-Hudson, People’s Place, R.E.A.L Skills Network, Inc., Ulster Literacy Association and Victim Services of Family Services, Inc. (Vassar College).

According to Committee Chair and Vassar Head of Library User Services Tracy Sutherland, Vassar community members— including students, faculty, administrators, alumnae/i, emeriti and staff—nominate organizations for grant reception. The Com-

munity Works committee then selects 10 organizations with differing impacts to ensure their grants support a variety of goals.

Sutherland affirmed that the nomination process encourages the Vassar community to interact with the organizations in question in order to make its selections.

Sutherland also indicated that the fundraising Community Works undertakes fosters interaction beyond pure monetary donation and among those outside Vassar.

She explained her hopes to involve local businesses in the fundraising process: “I’m going to solicit businesses to give [by] having raffles ... It seems like people would be more willing [to donate] if there’s a reward.”

This year’s campaign launched on Thursday, Nov. 1, at the Benefits Fair held

by Human Resources in the Villard Room.

At the fair, representatives of nominated organizations tabled to discuss their work with Vassar employees and students present at the fair and other potential donors.

One such organization is Arts Mid-Hudson, which brings creative offerings to artists and arts enthusiasts and funds artists, schools, community groups and arts organizations in the local area (“About Us,” Arts Mid-Hudson, 2017). Grants and Programs Manager Lilia Pérez tabled at the fair and indicated some of the organization’s goals for the year. Pérez said, “If we could spread the word and be able to reach more underserved populations and make them aware that they’re able to access this funding, that’s our main goal. I think support from this program is going to allow us to.”

Another organization represented at the fair, Mid Hudson Aquatics, provides af-

fordable swim lessons to Dutchess County residents with a focus on underrepresented populations. Franchek tabled at the fair and explained her goals for the year in an email interview: “Our goals this year are to increase...inclusive swim programming beyond the volume of children that we already serve … We would like to [provide] scholarships. We also plan to provide swim lessons to the Boys and Girls Clubs of Poughkeepsie over the Winter.”

In addition, Franchek expressed that her organization benefits the community beyond individual clients. “[Swimming] is also a vehicle of inclusion,” she wrote. “The vision of swimming as...only for those that can pay creates the gap between this wonderful gift and including everyone.”

Pérez described how Arts Mid-Hudson’s impact similarly ripples throughout the community: “Our grants reach all corners of Dutchess and Ulster county, and they give artists...the opportunity to jumpstart something with longevity ... It’s planting seeds around our community so [recipients] can reach sustainability on their own.”

These organizations’ far-reaching and continuous influence reflects the value in and impact of giving, a sentiment that resonates with Sutherland’s involvement in Community Works. “One thing that’s stuck with me my whole life … is having this human connection, and letting people know that they are cared for,” she said. “It’s why I’m involved in [Community Works].”

Reflecting on the importance of giving, Franchek concluded, “The exchange of one’s time and caring is what makes our community thrive.”

Outgoing Dean reflects on tenure at Vassar DI BARTOLO continued from page 1

women’s leadership at a women’s college for me really speaks to the work I’m excited to do.”

Di Bartolo’s move to Scripps is somewhat of a homecoming, since they previously worked as Associate Dean of Students for Personal Success and Wellness at Pomona College, another college in the Claremont Colleges Consortium. Prior to this position, they were the founding director of LGBTQ services for all of the Claremont Colleges. In addition, di Bartolo looks forward to living closer to family, especially now that they and their partner have a five-month-old son, Jack.

Highlights of di Bartolo’s tenure at Vassar include the students and faculty with whom they worked. They noted that “[Vassar students] are all wickedly brilliant and perfectionistic” and discussed their passion for mitigating the stress associated with perfectionism: “You cannot achieve [perfectionism], and it will end up hurting you in the long run. But what I love about the work that I’ve been able to do with students is that willingness to hear that message.”

As for Vassar faculty with whom they have worked closely, di Bartolo reflected, “Even on the scariest of days where [we were] dealing with a really intense crisis, I was surrounded by experts all the time ... it’s amazing to have such a skilled team of people.” Professor of Education and Dean of the College Emeritus Christopher Roellke praised di Bartolo’s adeptness at maintaining their cool under pressure, stating in an email, “I personally appreciated Adriana’s calm and steady hand during student crises.”

Reflecting on their work at Vassar, di Bartolo feels most proud of their office’s success in diminishing potentially dangerous aspects of Vassar’s drinking culture. In particular, di Bartolo is pleased with the activities of the Alcohol Task Force, a decline in medical transports at large drinking events and the educational efforts by Health Promotion and Education and Residential Life to promote safe substance use. Di Bartolo explained, “I never thought we should ever take away alcohol ... but we [should] have conversations about how to do it safely.

And as an educational institution, we always need to be talking about learning.”

In an emailed interview, Alamo-Pastrana praised di Bartolo for contributing to Health and Wellness expertise on campus: “We have benefited from many of the policies and practices they implemented to support our students.”

Indeed, students and faculty alike appreciate both di Bartolo’s work for the office and their warmth, compassion, energy and humor. In an email, an Assistant to the Dean of Students Jens Astrup ’22 reflected, “[They make] the office a connecting, collaborative work space.” Similarly, Dean of Students Office Assistant Jonayed Ahmed ’20 affirmed via email that “Dean di Bartolo is a really easy person to talk to and one of the nicest people I know.” According to Ahmed, “They truly try to get to know each person ...

There was never a single dull day...with Dean di Bartolo.”

Members of the Vassar administration echoed students’ positive sentiments about the dean. In an email, Director of the Psychological Services Wendy Anne Freedman praised di Bartolo, stating,

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

“[They have a] thorough knowledge of best practices in student affairs [and have been] committed to building trust and did so with [their] transparency, directness, and kindness.” Similarly, Alamo-Pastrana reflected, “I especially enjoyed the excitement and cheerfulness that they brought to their position and to the people with whom they worked.”

Vassar will immediately begin a nationwide search for di Bartolo’s replacement. Alamo-Pastrana specified the qualities that the College plans to seek: “The candidate [should] be student-centered and a skilled administrator in the areas of college residential life and wellness ... it is incredibly important to us that the person who we hire comes to these administrative functions with the ability to see them through our students’ eyes.”

The Interim Dean continued, “We are working on a teaming model within the Dean of the College Division to ensure students continue to receive the level of support that they need...until the new dean is hired.”

As they prepare to depart for Scripps this Friday, di Bartolo hopes that Vassar students will abandon some of their perfectionistic tendencies: “Every student should buy Brené Brown’s book, ‘Gifts of Imperfection,’ and read it and underline it...because the guilt and shame of perfectionism is too [great] of a weight for any of you to carry.” As their final piece of wisdom to the undergraduates on whose behalf they worked for over two years, di Bartolo urged students, “Give yourself grace and space to feel your emotions and be present, and know that you can trust every moment that happens. I promise you can trust every moment.”

November 8, 2018

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Presentation examines artificial intelligence in health care Ha Bui

GUEST REPORTER

n Monday, Oct. 29, Vassar students converged in Rockefeller Hall 300 to attend a presentation on artificial intelligence (AI) in health. Organized by Xiaoqing Xu ’19 and Vanessa Achoy ’19, alongside University of Oregon Professor of Computer and Information Science Dejing Dou, the lecture informed attendees about the current use and potentials of AI in healthcare.

To start off the event, Xu briefly introduced listeners to the AI Challenger Global contest, a non-commercial, open-source platform of datasets and programming competitions for designers of artificial intelligence. Hoping to encourage AI talents to bring valuable contributions to the world through research and practical application, this international competition provides rich, high-quality data resources. In 2017, AI Challenger housed 8,892 teams from 65 countries, marking it as the most widely scaled Chinese dataset platform and non-commercial competition.

Inspired by this contest, Xu founded Vassar AI Challenger, hoping to provide a similar experience and opportunity for campus AI enthusiasts. Xu explained, “This summer I went to an AI bootcamp organized by Sinovation Ventures, a venture capital firm that also serves as an incubator for startups using AI technology. Since last year, they started a non-commercial platform for data science contests and open-source datasets, called AI Challenger. As part of their promotion for this platform, they are encouraging lecture events like this across the globe to help create opportunities for students to get in touch

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with the advances in the field of AI.” Xu is now starting a small interest group, organizing weekly workshops on Saturdays in Sanders Physics or New England in which participants test out AI applications and discuss AI-related topics, ranging from algorithms to applications to ethics.

After the introduction, Dou gave a live presentation demonstrating AI’s evolution and potential. As he explained, “It kind of went back to 1940s, with McCulloch and Pitts’ Boolean circuit model of [the] brain, and since the 2000s, data mining has been a big part of AI. And in 2010, deep learning dominated AI.” In particular, data mining is characterized by its information extraction technology. The information from data mining can be used for various tasks, and the technology uses ontology, the study of concepts in a specific domain that show the relationship between them.

Explaining the impact of semantic data mining with respect to healthcare, Dou noted, “This is important. We have to be careful with each patient, because of the different medical records, specific vocabulary domains, issues surrounding policies and then drugs. [A medical record] becomes zeros and ones. This technology will…[help] to annotate the terminologies [to better explain each patient’s particular case]. With typical data mining, we can do this.”

Dou next engaged attendees in a discussion on deep learning, a powerful, multilayered neural network of non-linear information processing for learning representation based on data. This data-analytic technology, according to Dou, can process a vast amount

of information, ranging from image classification to face detection to medical diagnoses generation.

In the field of healthcare particularly, deep learning has allowed for semantic mining in activity, social and health data. Drawing on examples such as the alarming obesity rate in the United States, Dou further championed an unlimited access to information.

In an ensuing question-and-answer period, one student inquired about evaluating the use of ontology in constructing intelligent models. Dou responded, “For this special project...what we’re trying to find is the ontology that focuses on the specific dimensions serving our project.”

Xu added, “In the health industry, there are a lot of mature data structures. Now, you have a system that you can collect data from, via hospitals, or sometimes [it is] building new things. This technology is not only analyzing data, but are also building data-collecting structures.”

Continuing the discussion with a presentation on her summer research in the Murray Lab at the Yale School of Medicine, Achoy, a neuroscience major, applied computational modeling techniques to gain insights into the nature of psychiatric disorders. The algorithms, along with three datasets, helped her research team visualize differences between the control and schizophrenic groups, allowing them to generate meaningful samples.

Achoy then carefully described the operation of three encoder techniques: vanilla autoencoders, variational autoencoders (VAE) and conditional variational autoencoders (CVAE). She explained, “[The vanilla autoencoder is fed] an image into this neural net-

work, [which travels] through the network, and then [it] output[s] an image as close to the original as possible.”

The VAEs, which Achoy employed during her summer research at Yale, enabled her to create and store blueprints of input data in the system and then produce real and genuine data.

Discussing existing shortcomings in representing data using latent space, Achoy noted that the storage systems’ two-dimensionality and data distribution can hinder accurate data representation. In the future, Achoy plans to test the same set of data on CVAE, which can understand the numbers it receives contrary to VAE’s capabilities, and further investigate the impact of two-dimensionality on representing data.

When asked about the impact data amplification may bear on efficacy in healthcare, Achoy explained in an emailed statement: “Creating new data for research will help so much! It’s hard to locate and have a statistically reliable number of human subjects in trials. If we can artificially create data, it would improve the statistical power of healthcare research as well as lessen financial and time constraints.”

Yet, she remained realistic: “Unfortunately, there is again the issue of making sure that any artificially created data is unique, reliable and true enough to be trusted as part of a dataset.”

All in all, the lecture served to educate students about how AI-related technologies could impact the health industry, raised possibilities for future research and encouraged students interested in AI to explore real-world applications.

Agreement encourages Vassar, DCC student crossover DCC continued from page 1

Courtesy of Vassar College/Karl Rabe

one of the most affordable colleges in New York State and offers free tuition to the top 10 graduates of high school classes. Consequently, there are financial reasons why many Poughkeepsie High School students attend DCC. Vassar utilizes a need-blind admissions process and employs a policy established in 2008 that replaces loans with Vassar scholarship funding for admitted students from Poughkeepsie High School.

DCC Spokesperson Judith Stokes said in an emailed interview that the program will help students from both schools. “DCC is a very vibrant, diverse campus with students of all ages and from all backgrounds.

Our institutions already collaborate on the Model U.N. initiative; we know that DCC and Vassar students work well together, learn from one another and benefit from shared experiences,” Stokes explained.

For Stokes, the initiative will most appeal to Vassar students who would like to take summer courses if they stay in the area between terms, though students may also find courses at DCC not offered at Vassar that would be worth the commute during the semester. “Our faculty bring a wealth of real-world experience to the classroom and are engaging and accessible,” said Stokes.

Vassar Registrar Colleen Mallet explained that DCC offers courses in criminal justice and paramedic training beyond the EMT level that might appeal to pre-law and pre-med students. Calculus is the lowest level of mathematics that Vassar offers, so students who have not had exposure to higher levels of mathematics in their previous education or who have taken a leave of absence may find DCC’s mathematics program an option for advancing to a higher

Dutchess Community College President Pamela Edington and Vassar President Elizabeth Bradley are eager to provide increased options for students at both colleges. level.

Students will still be expected to take the full course load of at least 3.5 credits during the spring and fall terms at Vassar if they choose to enroll in DCC courses.

For students nearing the end of their undergraduate studies, the partnership may be a means by which to fill in a missing credit, Mallet explained. Because financial aid only covers eight semesters, many students look for ways to catch up over the summer. “Maybe you are a student who’s short a credit or two for graduation, so you might make it to the spring semester of your senior year and, for whatever reason, the units are just not adding up,” Mallet said. “To come back for a full semester’s tuition sometimes is prohibitive.”

Vassar Posse Foundation veterans were also considered during talks about the partnership, said Mallet. Student veterans often live in the area, and many have taken advantage of the proximity of DCC to study over the summer, so the agreement also aims to streamline the process for students who are already making connections between the two institutions.

Stokes said, “[The partnership] will provide an opportunity to take specialized or upper-level classes not available on our campus.” This will include higher-level language courses and a variety of liberal arts subjects and, as Mallet noted, Vassar often encourages multidisciplinary study, which is available to a lesser extent at DCC. For both John Bradley and Mallet, the

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

cooperation between the two colleges signals a continuation of Vassar’s goal to provide more students with opportunities to access higher education. Along with the Exploring Transfer program, which brings students from community colleges to Vassar over the summer, the partnership with DCC aims to encourage local students to pursue further education. Like the transfer program, Mallet said, “[The new partnership] gives [DCC students] a chance to kind of explore and to get their feet wet and see that ‘Yeah, I can be successful at this type of school, so now I’m going to start thinking about transferring.’” She continued, “It’s going to be a confidence builder.”

Because the program is still new, administrators are unsure how students will end up making use of it, Bradley explained. He said, by way of example, that Vassar had not yet created a photography program when it partnered with Bard College. Most students making use of the partnership early on were thus commuting to Bard to take photography courses, but since Vassar added photography courses, that is no longer the case. In reflecting on the future of the Vassar-DCC partnership, Bradley said, “We’ll tailor it as things happen and we’ll see what people are interested in.”

For now, the administrations of both colleges anticipate a sharing of opportunities, experience and ideas. Bradley said, “I’ve talked to a lot of people in the community, people who don’t even necessarily have students at DCC or Vassar, who just have heard about it and think it’s just a wonderful engagement between the two communities.”

He continued, “Different perspectives in the classroom are going to be interesting.”

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November 8, 2018

Filmmaker Kroopf ’07 returns to campus for EPI movie Christian Flemm COLUMNIST

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fter a series of successful short films —each exploring cultural and personal difference in a casual but emotionally affecting, unbroken style—filmmaker and educator Jackson Kroopf ’07 returned to Vassar’s campus in October for his latest film project. It’s a collaborative, experimental documentary about the Engaged Pluralism Initiative, which was launched in Fall of 2017 by Professor Candice LoweSwift. Kroopf’s films, often shot handheld on a wide-angle lens, are microcosms of cultural difference, each asking questions of identity—each giving no answer. How does one work across difference? It is work of knowing others before one knows oneself. But that knowing is not in the answer. Rather, it’s in the question. For Kroopf, words are not enough. Answers lie in spaces between the call and response—in the accord between two wildly different perspectives, joined momentarily in mutual curiosity: imagining alternatives to the order of things.

What follows is an excerpted interview with the filmmaker, conducted at The Crafted Kup on Oct. 31, 2018.

The Miscellany News: Tell me a little bit about the Vassar project.

Jackson Kroopf: The temporary title is “The EPI Onscreen.” It’s a collabora-

tive experimental documentary. Right now there are about eight students working on it, meaning that we’ve collaboratively shot stuff.

They’re going to start shooting stuff soon.

There are five faculty working on it, whom I’ve interviewed and am hoping will shoot stuff as well.

The film is trying to represent dynamic engagement across difference. And, rather than explaining an initiative that’s still trying to find its own identity, how do you push circumstances to try and articulate difficult things? What makes a classroom dynamic?

What makes a relationship between a staff person and student transformative? Is there a room for deeper relationships for people like faculty and admin, or faculty and students, in which the Vassar experience would be richer because the engagement is deeper?

I’m interested in the way that people engage with each other and the way that people communicate. Knowledge starts as one speech act and turns into something larger because multiple speech acts follow it. So I’m just interested in accumulating a lot of material to show dynamism happening at Vassar.

Last night was fire because these kids said things that I can’t wait to show the administration. I can’t wait for Betsy Bradley to see some of the shit I’ve recorded.

The Misc: Why? JK: Because it’s truthful. And it’s subversive and transgressive. And it suggests that

the point of emphasis—and the focus of what the institution’s responsibility is to its community and its participants—is constantly evolving and shifting. Democracy is all about how you get people to talk loudly that aren’t already loud talkers. I’m always interested in creating these little stages for people to scream on. Or to whisper on.

So the project is evolving. I’ve filmed an EPI working group, I’ve filmed a film workshop that I taught with Shane [Omar Slattery-Quintanilla, Assistant Professor of Film].

Marc [Schriebman, Film Department Media Coordinator] filmed the EPI town hall that we did at the Forum for Political Thought last night. I’ve filmed on-camera interviews with students. I’ve filmed mic’d interviews with students where we’re mic’d and setting up frames together. I’m filming a reenactment at noon of something someone said in an interview. It’s all over the place—it’s wild, I don’t know what it’s going to turn into.

The Misc: Is this the first time you’ve returned to campus since you graduated?

JK: No. This is the third or fourth time.

The Misc: So why’d you come back again?

JK: To see Candice [Lowe-Swift, Associate Professor of Anthropology and co-chair of the EPI].

The Misc: Is that how this project started?

JK: For sure. Candice is like family for me.

She was my first teacher on the first day of school—9 a.m. Cultural Anthropology. She’s one of my most trusted confidants—we’ve become colleagues and are collaborators now. I think she’s a really inspiring thinker, and she wanted to find a way to get me over here to work with her. When she was writing the grant I was talking to her about the EPI. And I’ve talked with her about it every step of the way.

The Misc: So the seeds of this project for you were sowed quite early on?

JK: She wanted me to actually come work on it with her full time. But I was trying to make films—basically from March to September I was working nonstop. I traveled to four countries, I made two commercials, I oversaw dozens of student projects, I completed a script with Legacy (star of “BobbyAnna”) and filled out the Sundance application.

So I just wanted some time to film something that was interesting to me. I dunno. I’ve been a little too busy. I’ve gotten a lot of stuff that’s pretty interesting, I think. I’m leaving on Tuesday, but I plan on coming back. I don’t know in what capacity. I don’t know if I can come for another two weeks. I don’t know if I can come for another week. I’ll come back, but it’s really about the length I can stay. I’ve learned a lot.

[Author’s Note: Jackson Kroopf was given final editorial approval of this article.]

Student theater org presents creative ‘Black Comedy’ Abby Tarwater REPORTER

ast weekend, The Philaletheis Society, Vassar’s oldest student theater organization, presented their adaptation of “Black Comedy.” The play is a one-act farce written by English playwright and screenwriter Peter Shaffer and first performed in 1965. Philaletheis presented the show on Thursday, Nov. 1, at 8 p.m., Friday, Nov. 2, at 6 p.m. and Saturday, Nov. 3, at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. in the Mug. “Black Comedy” follows the antics of sculptor Brindsley Miller and his fiancée Carol Melkett. The couple has borrowed expensive antique furniture and art from the flat of their absentee neighbor, Harold, without his permission. They do this in order to impress a wealthy elderly art collector coming to view Brindsley’s work, as well as Carol’s pompous father Colonel Melkett. A blown fuse suddenly leaves the apartment in complete darkness, and when Harold returns early and Brindsley’s ex-girlfriend Clea shows up unexpectedly, chaos ensues.

The title of “Black Comedy” is a pun on the power-outage fiasco. The play is enacted under a reversed lighting scheme: it opens in a complete blackout, and once the fuse short-circuits, the stage is entirely illuminated. When actors use candles and other small lighters, the lights are dimmed.

Attendee Isabella Perez ’21 commented on the effect of the unconventional lighting arrangement: “I found [it] interesting that you could immerse yourself in the play using just your ears mostly, and still have a general idea of what was happening based on the dialogue and other noises; you can still experience a play without being able to see it.”

It took preparation for the cast to adjust to this unorthodox lighting pattern. Adina Ornstein-Luks ’22 played Colonel Melkett.

She explained how the actors prepared for the scenes: “One of my [favorite] exercises that we did was closing our eyes and walking around in the dark. The play itself takes place in a blackout, so in order to understand what

L

Courtesy of Lindsay Matheos

Vassar’s oldest student theater organization, The Philaletheis Society, performed its adaptation of Peter Shaffer’s “Black Comedy” this past weekend in the Mug. movement looks and feels like in the dark, we practiced.”

Julianna DeAngelis ’20, Sam Peterson ’20 and Alison Russell ’20 directed the play.

DeAngelis wanted to make the experience as enjoyable as possible, explaining, “We had three directors, which was a little unusual, but we decided that would be a good way to help make the process more collaborative.

We really just wanted this process to be fun and inclusive—the show is super fun and light-hearted, and we wanted that to translate to the rehearsal process.

The playful energy of the show is also evident in the directors’ artistic choices. Although the production was not an original show, Philaletheis’ adaptation sought to reinvent the play. Developing new characters was one way in which the directors made the work their own.

Unique to this version of “Black Comedy” was the decision to cast actors to play Brindsley’s statues, which were portrayed

by Lexi Alexander ’22, Isabella Paquette ’22 and Bailey Wilder ’22. DeAngelis commented on the decision to personify the statues: “We thought having humans play the statues would be a fun way to create more mischief and drive the plot forward. We worked with those actors really closely to develop their individual characters and what specific ways they would interact with the story.”

“Black Comedy” was Wilder’s first production at Vassar, and she described it as an incredible process. “Being a statue was such an amazing experience because we really got to be involved in the creation of the characters since they weren’t in the original script,” Wilder recounted. “We started out by creating our statue characters, and then looking for the script for places to add in statue bits.

A lot of it came from just improv during rehearsals that we liked and decided to add. It was a real collaboration between us, the directors and the cast, and I’m so happy with how it turned out.”

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Perez appreciated the addition of the statues, stating, “The statues were a really interesting device for the play, to make it a little bit more interactive for the audience. For me, it kind of felt like a Greek chorus, because there’s three of them and they look like Greek statues in their togas, and they kind of explained and articulated what was going on.”

The cast’s bonding experiences added other personal touches to the show. Ornstein-Luks described how one of the most comical moments of the performance came to be: “One of the members of the cast named Oz [Johnson-Congleton ’22]—they played Miss Furnival—invented a song for Furnival to sing during tech week called ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Brindsley.’ That song got so many laughs every night of the show and it wasn’t even in the show until tech week!”

The play is noted by audiences for its eccentric and memorable characters, from the aging spinster Miss Furnival to the fussy Harold. Ornstein-Luks detailed how the cast was able to portray such idiosyncratic personalities, explaining, “I really benefited from some of the work the directors did with our cast of understanding our characters beyond the pages of a script. At one point in our rehearsal process, the entire cast asked each other questions in character, and we answered back. It essentially turned into a dinner party of all the characters in the show. That really helped us develop our characters on a deeper level.”

Although the tone of the play is distinctly silly, the joviality of the cast and crew made the show even more entertaining. DeAngelis identified this cheerfulness as the reason why the directors chose to adapt the play, stating, “We thought it was a fun and funny script with a pretty unique concept that gave the actors and designers a lot of room to play around and to be creative.” Ornstein-Luks gushed about the result: “I love the show and I have so many favorite moments … I think that’s because our cast and directors took such an already brilliant script, and made it amazing.”

November 8, 2018

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Indie singer-songwriters master art of collaboration Emma Bauchner GUEST COLUMNIST boygenius

Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers and Lucy Dacus Matador Records

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he word “Supergroup” feels like a loaded term. When I hear the word, the first image that pops into my head is a nameless group of aging male rock stars giving one last collaborative hurrah, with their output never remotely measuring up to the material of their previous bands or solo careers. It is not a word I would typically associate with three young, talented (and female) indie rock singer-songwriters whose careers are just starting to take off. I’m not sure whether this is more a reflection of the gender biases of the rock music world or those of my own, but regardless, “boygenius”—the aptly ironic name for the collaboration and resulting EP by Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers and Lucy Dacus—has significantly altered my perception of what a supergroup can be.

Upon hearing about this release, I was already familiar with all three artists. The deeply confessional and emo-tinged folkrock of Baker’s 2015 debut album “Sprained Ankle” struck a chord with me. I was impressed and enchanted by the intimate storytelling and sonically lush folk-pop on Bridgers’ 2017 debut album “Stranger in the Alps.” And Dacus’ powerful 2017 single “Night Shift” was, in my opinion, one of the indie rock anthems of the year.

Naturally, I was excited to learn that

these three talented artists were collaborating on a project, but also a little nervous that the product wouldn’t measure up to their solo work, as is often the case with so-called supergroups. Collaboration is tricky—how does a successful solo artist stay true to the artistic individualism that has defined their career while also making the sacrifices necessary to create a unified group sound?

Luckily, Baker, Bridgers and Dacus have hit the collaborative nail on the head. What makes the six songs on “boygenius” work so well is that all three women maintain their unique musical identities throughout, while still managing to put together a project with clear thematic cohesion. This approach allows them to each capitalize on their strengths, while also creating an impressive amount of musical variation on a six-track EP. But what makes this project truly magical are the small moments scattered throughout when the three artists bring together their musical energies, briefly creating sounds incredibly unique from any of their own styles. This often manifests quite literally in the form of stunning three-part harmonies: Baker, Bridgers and Dacus fit together their distinctive voices perfectly and use this collaboration to create some heart-stopping moments throughout the EP. This approach is present from the beginning with opener “Bite the Hand.” With its strong, grounded rock sound and reflective yet frank lyrics, the song is a clear Dacus composition. In fact, Dacus does take the lead for the majority of the track,

building energy over two verses and a climactic bridge.

But the most powerful moment is the song’s outro: Dacus, Bridgers and Baker each repeat the simple refrain—“I can’t love you how you want me to”—in different harmonic lines but not simultaneously, layering their voices to create a cascading effect as the instrumentation continues to build.

Then suddenly, the instrumentation stops and all of their voices come together at once. For a few stunning final seconds, we are left only with the stark sound of their unaccompanied vocal harmonies.

The following track, “Me & My Dog,” is one of the EP’s finest. Like many of Bridgers’ songs, it tells the story of a relationship through small details and moments.

The first two verses are quiet and intimate, with just an electric guitar and Bridgers’ soft vocals as she paints an opening scene: “We had a great day/Even though we forgot to eat.”

You can tell that the song is building toward something, but it’s still a strikingly powerful surprise when all three women suddenly explode into perfect harmony on the song’s anthemic chorus: “I never said I’d be all right/Just thought I could hold myself together.”—this is still Bridgers’ song, but it has been elevated to entirely new levels.

With Baker belting out a top harmony and Dacus setting the bass to Bridgers’ melody, you can hear the passion of all three of them as a single unit: “I wanna be emaciated/I wanna hear one song without thinking of you/I wish I was on a space-

ship/Just me and my dog and an impossible view.”

The closer “Ketchum, ID” is the most beautiful of all. The only fully acoustic track on the EP, the song communicates the loneliness of being a touring musician constantly on the move through both its lyrics and its bare sonic palette (you can hear someone hesitantly play a chord and whisper “okay” on the recording before the song begins—even the smallest of details holds a lot of weight here).

The song originally belonged to Bridgers, but each artist contributes a verse of reflection on this feeling that is clearly common between all three of them, highlighting both the similarities of their experiences and their distinctive approaches to lyricism.

By far the most haunting verse is the song’s chorus: “I am never anywhere/ Anywhere I go/When I’m home I’m never there/Long enough to know.” Bridgers, Baker and Dacus sing these lines in a dreamlike three-part harmony that further communicates all the pain and loneliness behind these words.

On the final refrain, they take the haunting forlorn quality to a whole new level: “When I’m home I’m never there/Long enough…”—the sentence is never finished, the cadence never completed. It’s an absolutely heart-wrenching moment and—like many other moments on this EP—leaves you wanting more.

The group is indeed an ingenious collaboration between three of the most promising voices in indie rock. I hope we get to hear more of their work in the future.

Dance troupe showcases varied, striking performance DANCE continued from page 1

Kimberly Nguyen/The Miscellany News

The Shakers performed seven dances to a full audience and presented their range in a variety of styles and skill levels. On stage, students who had danced their whole lives and beginners shared the spotlight. Through dances to songs from Britney Spears’ “Toxic” to Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal,” the Shakers performed styles of dance that ranged from lyrical to hula, not only showcasing a variety of styles but also of skill levels.

For Wenjie Xie ’19, who has been involved with Vass Shakers every semester she has been on campus, Vass Shakers is about accessibility. She commented, “Everyone is free to choreograph, everyone is free to join whatever dance they want, it all depends on what dancers want for that semester.” She continued to highlight the org’s openness: “There’s no auditions to [be a part of the org] or for each piece, it’s just about having fun, stress relief, [and] community. I think I’ve met some of my best friends through Vass Shakers.”

For new members like Violet Cenedella ’22, who came to Vassar with a year’s worth of dance experience, Vass Shakers offered an opportunity to meet new people that didn’t require a large amount of time.

Cenedella said about the inclusivity of the org, “We met once a week, so it wasn’t a ton of commitment, and it was welcoming. Rehearsals are super non-judgemental. We rarely have to do a dance all by ourselves or really prove something to the class, which I’ve found is really helpful. I felt encouraged.”

Returning Vass Shakers member Amelia Zeh ’21 said she joined Vass Shakers in her first year because the org was incredibly

The dance org prides itself on its inviting spirit and its openness to experimenting with different styles, two evident strengths in the group’s fall performance. welcoming and all of the members bonded over a shared love of dance. She was also drawn to the experimental nature of the org. Zeh commented, “I did a hula dance this year for the first time in my life, and that was really difficult for me, but revisiting older styles like jazz and lyrical, it was great to be able to teach others what I’ve learned. There are just different styles of dance that you can be good at or you can

be less used to.”

Jenny Brisco ’19 said she joined the Shakers after Xie, her first-year roommate, convinced her to try it.

Brisco explained, “Wenjie’s been dancing forever, so she joined it because she wanted an outlet for that, and she was my roommate freshman year and told me I had to come to Vass Shakers. I at first was like, ‘No, I’m afraid of dancing.’ Now I’m

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

here, three-and-a-half years later.”

For dancers new to performing in front of an audience, veterans of Vass Shakers are encouraging. Cenedella said, “It was kind of nerve-wracking because it was my first dance show that I’ve ever done …

There were a couple of seniors that were cheering me on, and that was really nice.

I didn’t feel like it was high stakes or if I did mess up everything would be ruined.”

The emphasis on inclusivity and versatility of dance styles and backgrounds was apparent in Friday’s performance. Latoria Bailey, a first-year who watched the show, said she noticed the inviting environment the dancers created.

“It was unique because of all the different styles of dance they showed,” she said. “‘The Way I Do’ was my favorite dance because of the dynamic between the music and performers, and the music allowed for a lot of different types of movement. I really liked the song and the way the movements matched the beats and the lyrics.”

Zeh emphasized the warmth and inviting vibe of the org, stating, “It’s the only non-audition dance org on campus, which is a really important thing to have for dancers at any college because auditions are a very scary process, and if you just want to have fun and take competition out of dance, it’s a great thing to have available for people.”

What is most apparent is the collaboration between seasoned dancers and those new to dancing. Anyone is free to join in meetings which take place on Fridays from 4 to 5 p.m. in Kenyon Hall Studio Two. Zeh commented, “It’s always open to everyone. Just stop by if you want to dance or...listen to music and get your body moving, get your vass shaking.”

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November 8, 2018

Alum fashion designer discusses inventive clothing line Holly Shulman COLUMNIST

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hen a world-renowned, award-winning fashion designer gives a lecture, it is natural and necessary to look at what she is wearing. Mary Ping did not disappoint as she sat in Taylor Hall on Oct. 30, listening to Professor of Art on the Isabelle Hyman Chair Harry Roseman (Ping’s former senior advisor) introduce her. Ping, who graduated from Vassar in 2000 with a studio arts major, wore a bright blue jacket, a white knit scarf and cat-eye glasses. Her hair was pulled back in a low bun, which nodded intermittently as Roseman recounted her professional history from the podium.

Roseman began his introduction by recalling memories of Ping from her Vassar days. He spoke about her commitment to “making work that was analytical,” which he felt was best captured by her senior project, in which she built a clothing store inside the Palmer Gallery. Ping designed the clothes, but she also designed the layout of the space. Professor Roseman explained that the project was about more than just fashion, stating, “[The project focused on both] design and context—the beginning of [Ping’s] interest in the relationships between objects.”

This interest is still present in Ping’s more recent works. Her lecture led the audience through a number of her collections, starting with “Seams,” which is an exploration of “how clothes are assembled,” through “Luxe,” the project that dove into what makes a luxury good luxury.

Ping discussed her installation in New York’s Museum of Modern Art (MoMa) in 2017, which acted as the museum’s first fashion exhibit in 70 years. Her work in that space seemed to highlight ideas that were evident in her senior project: Ping had set up a sort of staircase, complete with clothes hanging from hangers hooked on to stairs. That same year, her clothing line, “Slow and Steady Wins the Race” (founded in 2002), won the prestigious and highly coveted Cooper Hewitt National Design Award.

in fashion largely centers around “the anthropology of fashion.” To understand what this means, one needs only look to the “Slow and Steady Wins the Race” website. There, the company’s manifesto highlights how the clothing line is a conceptual reinvention of everyday clothing. It also reads, “‘Slow and Steady Wins the Race’ asks: What do we wear, why do we wear it, and how can we create new classics that are timely and timeless, unique yet universal? The work is a logical dissection of fashion, an investigation into the basic elements of what we wear, and a considered response to the hyper-consumerist pace of “‘Slow and Steady Wins fashion” (slowandsteadywinstherace.com, the Race’ asks: What “Manifesto”).

Ping further elaborated on this concepdo we wear, why do we tuality in her lecture. She explained that wear it, and how can we the idea behind her company involves create new classics that amalgamizing the notions that “high design can and should be accessible to all” are timely and timeless, and that there is an “anthropology, culunique yet universal?” ture, and behavior of fashion” which can be studied by examining how we interact For those whose fashion knowledge is with our clothes. somewhat lacking, it may be difficult to One way in which “Slow and Steady discern what makes certain designs “bet- Wins the Race” embodies these goals is ter” than others—how are awards like the through what Ping calls their “living arCooper Hewitt, granted based on creativ- chive.” Once in production, pieces are ity and style, allocated? What makes one never discontinued. This creates a dynampiece of clothing wind up in MoMA while ic history of the company’s aesthetic deothers are resigned to live out their days velopment and alleviates the time pressure on the backs of the masses or shoved in that consumers often feel to purchase here overflowing hampers in college dorm and now. rooms? Ping’s work is unique and highly Another example of Ping’s effort to reself-reflective in that it seeks to respond to think and spread high design is her project precisely that question.

“Wedding Dress,” in which she created a In the artist’s own words, her interest $100 wedding dress. The gown is simple

and geometric and, of course, available perpetually on the “Slow and Steady Wins the Race” website.

Ping’s lecture focused largely on concrete aspects of reinventing clothing. She flashed pictures of handbags and high heels; napkins and chairs; T-shirts and sunglasses. However, she ended the talk on a much broader note, bringing together the large-scale ideas Professor Roseman had described with the tangibility of her clothes. Ping listed the values of her line: “Utility, integrity, simplicity, curiosity, materiality, care, concept, reliability and longevity.” She described simplicity as the most challenging—how could it not be, with such complex core values as these?

And she pinpointed longevity as the most encompassing, as, in Ping’s view, it is “inclusive of all the previous values.”

“Ping listed the values of her line: ‘Utility, integrity, simplicity, curiosity, materiality, care, concept, reliability and longevity.’”

While the clothing line’s beliefs primarily describe high fashion, they can, should and do certainly extend into the world beyond. Ping’s capacity to understand and project the links between design and anthropology underpins her recognition as a highly acclaimed and visionary fashion designer of our time.

Fan remembers power, beauty of Franklin’s ‘Lady Soul’ Dean Kopitsky COLUMNIST

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he music lovers that complain that they were born in the “wrong generation” or bemoan today’s music are so wrong. While I have yet to listen to a Chainsmokers song all the way through outside of an Uber and Maroon 5 still plays guitars in my head, I don’t think there has ever been a better time to be a music lover. The accessibility of deep tracks and “essentials” playlists provided by music streaming services makes music consumption an easy, almost indulgent experience. But while the saturation of old hits may diminish the authenticity of their consumption, streaming gives today’s generation an appreciation of music that peaked on the charts decades ago. It’s an advantage that allows us to see monumental music removed from the pop culture haze of when it was cut.

For instance, Aretha Franklin’s R&B opus “Lady Soul” was cut during one of those hazy times. When it was released In 1968, America was at a generational crossroads. “Lady Soul” should never be

confused for a political album; there aren’t any mentions of the civil rights movement or Vietnam. But there are moments of profundity and empowerment throughout the album. The title itself—“Lady Soul”—conjures up an image of Aretha teaming up with other powerful women to embody the genre of soul.

After two pop, single-worthy tracks to open the album, “People Get Ready” plants its feet firmly in the realm of gospel. Before I start describing any of her lyrics, one thing must be understood about the voice of Aretha Franklin: There is no conventional way to express its magnitude.

You can’t say she bellows or croons; that isn’t accurate. She is above adjectives: Her voice transcends common labels that music critics would use. You have to describe her voice by citing what one human voice cannot do alone. So she swells in the first lines, “People get ready/There’s a train coming.” You can almost see her shaking her head as those lines echo. She leaves the guitar and drums playing discreet fills as

Courtesy of Thomas Cizauskas via Flickr

Courtesy of Brett Jordan via Flickr

Released standout

in 1968, “Lady Soul” by Aretha Franklin features the voice that made her an American soul and R&B

singer’s legend.

she thunders in what must be a small effort for her. The song picks up toward the end, adding trumpets, quickening the measure.

But the whole brass section together can’t touch her alone voice.

“Lady Soul” was a victory lap, the third in a series of albums that changed the arc of Franklin’s career. She left Columbia Records in 1967. More than a change in studios, the move to Atlantic Records left her former big-band soul music behind in favor of modern, blistering rhythm and blues.

At Atlantic, she leaned into the swagger for which she became fabled. For her first record with Atlantic, Franklin traveled to Muscle Shoals, AL to record with the legendary FAME rhythm section. There, she recorded her hit “Chain of Fools,” which headlines “Lady Soul.” The FAME group may have been the only rhythm section that could go toe-to-toe with Franklin.

The motley, self-described rednecks of the Alabama delta and Franklin formed a perfect odd couple. The musicianship of the FAME crew is palpable in the articulate flairs from the horns and guitar that swing in and out of the foreground.

The group recorded the rest of the album at the Atlantic Studios in New York, where the rising star of Franklin was in full effect. She attracted some true stars of the era. On the song “Good to Me as I Am to You,” Aretha features a 22-year-old guitarist named Eric Clapton. In 1968, Clapton was speeding along on his own meteoric rise as a member of the supergroup Cream.

The track starts off with a piano and slowbeat drum. But it builds and builds, breaking into a sweat at the three-minute mark when Franklin shouts, “Don’t you walk around here/feeling like you can treat me any old way/using my love, my time, my

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

heart,” over cool blues licks on Clapton’s Gibson.

But the album’s most famous song, the song synonymous with Aretha Franklin and everything that makes her legendary, is the fifth song, “(You Make Me Feel Like) a Natural Woman.” Its supremacy is verified from the degrees of separation it diminishes between powerful people. First, Carole King, a rock and roll legend in her own right, wrote the song. Then, at the Kennedy Center Awards in 2015 that honored King, Franklin performed for her old friend. The Obamas were in the audience that night. In footage from the evening, President Obama can be seen wiping tears from his eyes. Franklin’s performance, a half century after the song was originally recorded, represented everything that the record was meant to entail. Franklin stepped away from the piano and threw off her mink coat, stretching out her arms as she serenaded King in front of thousands of people.

In the months since her passing, I’ve thought a lot about that performance. I am in awe of the bravado that Franklin yields over the crowds, the confidence with which she performs, the public emotion she extracts right out of one of the most powerful men in the world. It reminds me that good music can’t possibly be generational. Aretha Franklin spent 50 years, not just in relevance, but in legendary status. The Queen of Soul can only be rivaled by the Voyager probe in her expedition into legendary perpetuity. Voyager transmits the conductive warmth of humanity as it speeds into icy endlessness. The celestial body of Aretha Franklin’s legacy does the same. After all, there will always be a place for music that makes us “feel so good inside,” that makes us “feel so alive.”

November 8, 2018

Campus Canvas

ARTS A weekly space highlighting the creative pursuits of student-artists

Page 9 submit to misc@vassar.edu

Excuse me, What should students call the Deece?

“I like the G-spot.”

— Mari Robles ’21

“Deece.”

— Kevin Vo ’21

“I don’t think I’ll stop calling it the Deece. I hate change.”

— Johnson Lin ’21

“The Student Hunger Prevention Center.”

— Adlai BrandtOgman ’21

“Anything but the Gordon Commons.”

— Benjamin Kheyfets ’21

Megan J Wang (Class of 2020) is a Taiwanese American artist double majoring in International Studies and French. She makes art to explore experience, emotion and the past. To keep up with her work, check out @meganjwang on insta and to view her complete portfolio, visit meganwang.tumblr.com.

“The Deece.

I’m not about the Gordon Commons.”

— Caeli Porette ’22 and Christian Gehres ’22

Hannah Gaven, Humor & Satire Jailyn Lopez, Photography

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

FEATURES

Page 10

Quite Frankly

November 8, 2018

Vass Shakers Fall Show

Frankie Knuckles

ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR QUALITY ADVICE-GIVER

H

ey Frankie, There’s this girl, right. She’s intimidating. She’s so [heckin’] cool, and smart, and funny and talented and I can’t help but be a little scared of her. But! She’s inviting and fun. She gets me excited. She’s super supportive. And I would definitely skip class to see her if she wanted me to.

Yes; I have feelings for her. But who wouldn’t?

Also, when you say you have feelings for someone, that carries a certain like, connotation that it’s purely romantic in nature.

I’m not gonna deny that I have any sort of romantic feelings for her, but it’s deeper than that.

It’s like. This is someone I just enjoy.

Someone I just want to be around and be there for and make happy.

She’s really cool. I don’t know.

[Heck].

Sincerely, Awed Admirer

All photos by Kimberly Nguyen/The Miscellany News

Lunch Box serves meals, bonds community Andrea Yang

FEATURES EDITOR

A

ccording to Professor of Sociology Leonard Nevarez’s community food assessment report in 2013, the food insecurity rate in the City of Poughkeepsie was 26.8 percent. This one-in-four households average was higher than the national standard (Digital Window, “Food Security and Choice: Poughkeepsie Plenty Community Food Assessment,” 01.01.2013). Dutchess Outreach is one of the non-profit organizations in Poughkeepsie that helps to address the problem at hand.

In 1982, Dutchess Outreach initiated The Lunch Box, a community meal program that provides a free, hot lunch and dinner five days a week for anyone in Dutchess County. In 2016, the program had over 1,000 volunteers and served more than 180,000 meals.

Volunteer Administrator Nyhisha T. Gibbs has been working at Dutchess Outreach for nearly two years. She shared her job responsibilities via an emailed statement: “Dutchess Outreach has a long history of service to others and volunteerism.

Many volunteers are generally recruited by word of mouth. And, in this era of internet and social media, we are easily found through various internet searches and on social media sites.”

In addition, Gibbs conducts Community Outreach visits at local high schools, colleges and libraries, aiming to spread awareness about the importance of volunteer services through educational institutions. A number of Vassar College librarians have joined the program during these visits.

Gibbs noted that their progress would not have been possible without the sup-

Courtesy of Nyhisha T. Gibbs

Dear Admirer, Quite frankly, humans don’t emphasize the value of platonic relationships enough.

When someone makes you happy and you want to make them happy, we tend to think that’s romantic, but that’s reductive. Additionally, both romantic and platonic relationships can be equally deep (or equally shallow). Personally, I struggle to understand whether I’m drawn to someone romantically, or just aggressively want to befriend them. You seem to be experiencing that struggle.

Emotions resist categorization. You might end up being dishonest with yourself about how you feel because you want to fit into a set framework. Take honest stock of what you’re feeling. Writing down your thoughts as they occur helps preserve this honesty.

Now, about being a little bit scared of her: Ask yourself what brand of fear this is. If it’s self-consciousness, that’s an expected, natural reaction. When you care about someone, of course you want to show them the best you. Constantly projecting that self can be exhausting. If this is how you feel, let down your guard, especially because you say she’s supportive. Remember: If she reacts negatively to your genuine self, she won’t be a good companion, romantic or not.

Also, it’s good to notice someone’s impressive characteristics, but sometimes we reduce a person to our positive conception of them, especially if we find them intimidating. In good relationships of all sorts, no one feels inferior. Resist the urge to turn her from a person into a marble bust on a pedestal in the museum of your emotions.

That’s how you end up infatuated with an idea.

If you decide your feelings are romantic, talk to her. It’ll save you a massive headache.

In this conversation, have three missions: Be open with her; listen to her, whether she reciprocates or not; and begin a longer dialogue. Let her know you don’t want to spring this on her, but to work through it together. I know putting yourself out there emotionally can be a paralyzing idea, but it will be worth it (even if her feelings aren’t romantic) to know where you stand.

Best wishes, Frankie P.S. Please go to class; they usually happen for a reason.

Nyhisha T. Gibbs (pictured in the middle), a Brooklyn native, joined Dutchess Outreach two years ago. She is responsible for recruiting volunteers from the community. port and dedication of the volunteers. She reflected, “The most special part of the Lunch Box program is [that it] provides a sense of community for those enjoying a meal and for those who volunteer to prepare, set up and serve the meal.”

Volunteers include local residents and students from Vassar, Marist and the Culinary Institute of America. “We are so grateful that the Vassar College community has been involved,” Gibbs added. The program unites people from the community to work toward the same purpose—building an inclusive neighborhood through distributing locally farmed foods.

Gibbs pointed out that the program not only benefits the community with food assistance and relief, but also has a positive impact on the individual participants. She commented, “One of the highlights is hearing the feedback from the volunteers. The term ‘volunesia (noun)—the moment when you forget that you are volunteering to help change lives; because it is changing yours’ is truly fitting.” It’s a rewarding experience

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

to make a difference in the community as well as in one’s own mentality.

Members of The Lunch Box work consistently to ensure that all Poughkeepsie residents have access to fresh, healthy food. Gibbs highlighted the power of individual contribution, saying, “Volunteers are the heart of Dutchess Outreach. They provide support for our various programs.

One of the challenges faced by the Volunteer Administrator is ensuring that the need for volunteers is met throughout the year. During the holiday season, volunteerism is high. However, we must remember that people are in need year round and volunteers are needed year round.”

In Dutchess Outreach’s Fall 2018 newsletter, Gibbs reminded readers that “Caring is always in season,” and working with The Lunch Box is one way that Vassar students and members of the larger Poughkeepsie community may put this spirit into action. To learn more about registering as a volunteer for The Lunch Box, visit their website at dutchessoutreach.org.

FEATURES

November 8, 2018

Page 11

ASA Night Market fuses, celebrates culinary cultures NIGHT MARKET continued from page 1

Duncan Aronson/The Miscellany News

Japan Association for Students tabled at the night market, serving this delicious spherical appetizer known as Takoyaki.

eyes while standing amidst a sea full of people, you’d hear loud conversations from high school students talking about their day at school, couples ordering stinky tofu and oyster omelettes, and parents asking their children what candy they want to buy.” Wang sees the night market not only as a cultural concept, but also as an evocative and intimate memory.

In a similar vein, ASA Treasurer Johnson Lin ’21 associates night markets with the feeling of adventure, on which he reflected via email: “It’s not the same sense as you would get exploring a new place or hiking feeling of adventure. It’s more like an excitement of getting to eat new foods that I was sure was going to be delicious.” Wang’s and Lin’s personal accounts illustrate how the night market inspires the imagination in a way that food merely sitting on a plate cannot. It is no wonder that students toil so much to recreate this evocative atmosphere.

That being said, food, even just sitting on a plate, can represent complex abstractions.

Home, community, culture and politics are a number of such concepts that food brings to the table (the late Anthony Bourdain’s “Parts Unknown” food and travel series attests to this). A small mass of boiled or steamed dough with some combination of vegetables or animal meat inside, which we call a dumpling, can signify home.

This is the case for Katherine Niu ’20, whose family is from a northeastern region of China, which strongly identifies with dumplings. In the comfort of her dorm room, she told me, “I always ate [dumplings] growing up … [my parents] know how to make really good dumplings. I always grew

Courtesy of the Asian Students’ Alliance

arching night market framework itself. Night markets, also known as open-air markets, were first recorded in China as far back as 1,400 years ago. They are now cultural mainstays in many corners of the globe, such as Taiwan and Indonesia (University of Hawai’i Press, “Hot and noisy: Taiwan’s night market culture,” 2004). As a result, some Vassar students, particularly those identified as Asian, feel an intimate connection with night markets.

For ASA Vice President Tammy Wang ’21, Taiwanese night markets, like her favorite Ruifen night market in the Zuoying District, are special experiences bursting with rich, vibrant flavors of daily life. She shared via an emailed statement, “Ruifeng night markets in Taiwan are usually held every night from six to midnight—if you were to close your

Last Saturday evening, members of the Asian Students’ Alliance prepared and hosted their annual event, which attracted flocks of foodies to the College Center. up watching them do all the steps—it’s always a big process…I feel like food is such an important part of community—eating is a social activity and an act of love. It’s about sharing and bringing friends and family together.”

For the Mixed/Biracial Student Alliance (MBSA), their decision to make mango smoothies, alongside Spam Musubi (Japanese-Hawaiian) and Brigadeiro (Brazilian) was similarly symbolic, as MBSA President Zahra Crim ’20 explained over e-mail. Crim wrote, “The menu was representative of members of our Organizing Board and our ethnic backgrounds. We chose mango specifically because it is the central fruit of ethnic diasporas.”

Based on Niu’s and Crim’s experiences, food is fundamental to identifying an “us,” whether that be a family, community or

identity, and can trace back to the roots of people far removed from their home cultures. These culinary connections between the concrete and the abstract inspire Vassar students to celebrate their cuisines.

Celebrating one’s cuisine can also serve to highlight different cultures, which Japanese Academic Intern Jennifer Novak ’19 described over a meal at the Gordon Commons. She commented, “We just don’t really have exposure to home food. It helps to bring a little piece of home with you to campus while also being able to share your food and your culture.”

While abstract concepts are integral to understanding food, there is always the simple, visceral joy of appreciating it. Lin captured this sentiment in one succinct sentence: “There is nothing better in this world than eating good food.”

Gluten-free soufflé cake: An autumnal recipe to ‘fall’ for Ariana Gravinese GUEST REPORTER

“T

Courtesy of Ariana Gravinese

his is a soufflé batter that is baked for a while, until it becomes a cake, and it’s one of the most popular cakes at Sweet Melissa Patisserie. It is very rustic, but it looks beautiful when the ‘fallen’ center is filled with fresh berries.”

—Melissa Murphy, executive chef and owner of Sweet Melissa Patisserie and Crémerie, as well as author of “The Sweet Melissa Baking Book.”

Being away from home, what I miss the most is my mom’s cooking. While I should be thankful for the food at college, because it could absolutely be worse, I always find myself craving a home-cooked meal. I especially miss the desserts my mom makes for special occasions.

I love a great dessert. To me, the best dessert is one that is just sweet enough, but not too sweet. I want to eat something that is light, as I do not like feeling too full at the end of a meal. One of my forever favorite desserts is my mom’s chocolate soufflé cake. It is the ultimate mashup between a soufflé and a cake, and it is one of the most delicious things that I have ever tasted.

This cake is pretty easy to make, and the end result is something really beautiful (you might not want to eat it!). Being a novice in the kitchen, even I found this recipe easy to follow, and I was extremely happy with the end result.

I am not going to say that it is as good as when my mom makes it, but it was pretty close. The first bite is the best one. The outside is a bit crunchy, but then there is the soft, airy inside, which is my favorite part. Don’t just listen to me; this cake even passed the rigorous taste test of my

friends, who would call themselves “dessert experts.”

Another great thing about this recipe from “The Sweet Melissa Baking Book” is that it’s gluten free! When creating snacks for friends in college, I frequently run into trouble making something that suits everyone’s dietary needs and restrictions.

This recipe spares the gluten but does not sacrifice flavor.

To make the fallen chocolate cake, preheat the oven to 350 degrees, and place the oven rack in the center for even baking.

Make sure the pan is greased so that the cake doesn’t stick.

Over the stove, melt the chocolate. It is best to do this with a pot and a mixing bowl. Fill the pot with water and bring it to a slow boil, and place the mixing bowl on top to melt the chocolate.

With a mixer, whip the egg yolks and the sugar. After this mixture has doubled in size, add the melted chocolate and combine. This is when you can add the Grand Marnier (if of age) and the zest.

Using the mixer again, with a clean bowl, whip egg whites until foamy. Add the rest of the sugar to this mixture. Whip until the egg whites turn stiff.

Fold one-third of the egg-white mixture into the chocolate batter. Then fold the other two-thirds of the egg-white mixture into the chocolate batter until it is evenly mixed together.

Bake for 65 minutes. Let the cake cool.

It will fall as it cools down. Add powdered sugar and berries to the center for presentation.

The next time you are looking to bake a cake, experiment in the kitchen or brighten someone’s day with a treat, remember this recipe for a 10-inch cake.

Ingredients 10 1/2 oz best-quality semisweet (58 percent) chocolate 7 tablespoons unsalted butter 8 large eggs, separated 1/2 cup sugar, divided into two equal parts 1 teaspoon freshly grated orange zest 1 tablespoon Grand Marnier Confectioner’s sugar, for sprinkling

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

FEATURES

Page 12

Misc Quiz by Cassidy Nealon and Laila Volpe

submit to misc@vassar.edu

Take this quiz and find out your earthly Patronus 1. Which print/pattern do you prefer?

5. Choose an activity for November:

a) Stripes, no reason b) Polka dots are fun c) The good old gingham d) Damask, a solid choice of wallpaper e) ~Floral~

a) Curling up in bed reading b) Collecting fall leaves c) Strolling in the cool, crisp air d) Ice skating in NYC e) Making s’mores by a bonfire

November 8, 2018

What’s the worst dare you’ve been a part of?

Word

on the street

“I was dared to drink an entire cup of maple syrup but I actually drink milk and hot sauce.”

— Rosie Parker ’22

“Taking a shit on the toilet lid.”

— Lucas Mann ’22

2. What’s your favorite leafy green?

6. What’s your dream occupation? a) Lettuce b) Spinach c) Kale, why not d) I don’t eat veggies TBH e) Does matcha ice cream count?

3. Pick a destination:

a) Full-time Netflix viewer b) Detective c) Pilot d) Marine biologist e) Professional sleeper

“I ate a raisin we found in the fencing cage for $10.”

— Michael Skolnick ’19

“I flashed someone once.”

— Em Tran ’21

Results:

a) Glasgow, Scotland b) Antananarivo, Madagascar c) Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia d) Antarctica e) Sydney, Australia

Mostly “a”s... you are a TABBY CAT!

4. Which emoji are you?

Mostly “c”s... you are a FLYING SQUIRREL!

a) The smiling cat with heart eyes b) The grinning squinting face c) The see-no-evil monkey d) The glowing star e) I only write letters by hand

“Panem et Circenses”

“This is a Florida thing, but I was dared to juice an orange with my hands and then drink it.”

— Chase Estes ’22

Mostly “b”s... you are a GIRAFFE!

Mostly “d”s... you are a BLUE WHALE!

“Going streaking down the block.”

— Louis Lopez ’22

Hannah Gaven, Humor & Satire Jailyn Lopez, Photography

Mostly “e”s... you are a BABY KOALA!

The Miscellany Puzzle

by Benjamin Costa

Answers to last week’s puzzle

Starch and show business—a match made in heaven. You drop into the bakery for a snack before the show, but this menu is a wreck! By the time you figure out all the choices, they’re all cleaned out. Making the best of it, you squish all the crumbs into a loaf, and take it with you. The performance is great, but leaves you famished—after the final number, you rush over to the place that combines your two favorite things.

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November 8, 2018

OPINIONS

Page 13

The Miscellany news Staff Editorial

Constituent apathy proves detrimental to VSA operations I

n the aftermath of an election season with particularly profound effects on both country-wide and local politics, it feels apt to consider Vassar’s own government and the role students play in it.

On Oct. 28, the Vassar Student Association (VSA) held a forum on the school’s upcoming curricular changes, which will affect many current first-years and sophomores. In anticipation of this assembly, VSA President Tamar Ballard ’19 sent out an email notifying students of the forum. However, even though these new policies promise widespread changes for the College, something was notably missing: student attendance.

Alarmingly, last Sunday’s forum is not an exception. Student attendance at VSA meetings has been consistently minimal over the past few years, or as least as long as current seniors can remember. As a student body that often voices our concern for the College and evinces a commitment to fostering a collaborative and transparent relationship between students and the administration, we should make it a priority to stay updated with the VSA. Comprised of senators, student representatives and committees, the VSA strives to represent the interests of the student body. Examples of the VSA’s influence include deciding funding allocations for every Vassar student organization, initiating Project.Period—which provides free menstrual products to students who need them—and otherwise supporting

the wellness and education of Vassar students. The VSA’s primary responsibility is to us, its constituents, and the most effective way to ensure that our student government hears and represents our voices is not only attending meetings, but also directly engaging with our elected representatives.

VSA outreach and organization is instrumental in encouraging students to participate in the processes of student governance. One way to improve the accessibility of the VSA is to update the website, which would create a centralized source of information about appropriate points of contact for different questions and concerns that may arise. If students do choose to contact their class senator or other elected representative, establishing a clearer line of communication would help them understand where the concerns they voice will end up and with whom they need to speak in order to further address the issue at hand.

Representatives should also regularly attend meetings and clearly communicate with their constituents. It is important for students to take the time to read emails from our representatives rather than relegating them to the trash bin, but to improve accessibility, representatives must make an effort to send out consistent updates. Some students do not even know who their representative is; while the responsibility principally falls on us to educate ourselves, it is also key for those

in leadership to keep in contact. Communication between the VSA and the people they represent is especially vital given that many students do not attend the meetings themselves.

One potential reason for poor turnout is the meetings’ day and time, Sundays at 2:30 p.m., which may not mesh with many students’ schedules due to academics, athletics or simply a build-up of neglected weekend assignments. Disseminating a poll for the student body to fill out the times that work for them could remedy this issue. If students still cannot attend, livestreaming the event and allowing for virtual submission of questions and feedback would ensure that anyone who wishes to participate in meetings can do so.

Last year, for example, during a forum with College President Elizabeth Bradley, VSA Treasurer Robyn Lin ’18 livestreamed the event and asked questions sent in by students online. A livestream would be welcomed not only by students who have time conflicts, but also by those abroad, away or otherwise physically unable to take part in the meetings.

However, while VSA representatives should work on improving their communication with the College community, it is important for us to remember that they are students, too, putting in hours of work on top of their already busy schedules. We as constituents should make the effort to take advantage of the structures that are already available to us.

Voting for representatives offers another avenue for involvement. Unfortunately, in the Spring 2018 elections, only 36.4 percent of students cast a ballot for the VSA President, and even fewer for most other positions (Vassar Student Association, “VSA Spring 2018 Election Results,” 04.12.2018). Actively pushing for voting in local and national elections but passing up the opportunity to make our voices heard in our own school is all but hypocritical.

Moreover, students should take the initiative to run for VSA positions. Many roles remain open, weakening the depth of student representation. Furthermore, candidates often do not face opposition, which may diminish the effort expended by those who run unopposed.

On the whole, students exhibit indifference toward engaging with the VSA. Whether due to apathy or a conscious decision not to participate, the dearth of student involvement grossly undermines the channels by which we can influence the College’s activities and atmosphere, injuring Vassar’s ability to represent a diverse and inclusive array of perspectives in its policies. In the end, it is detrimental if the VSA and students are not on the same page. Both sides must prioritize and put effort into collaborating with, showing up for and listening to each other.

–– The Staff Editorial expresses the opinion of at least 2/3 of The Miscellany News Editorial Board.

Voting, even with doubts, will lead to much-needed change Catherine Bither COLUMNIST

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n the midst of violence, discrimination and social discord, which our very own president of the United States propagates, hopelessness can be found everywhere. Our current political climate causes countless residents of the country to feel that their voices do not matter.

This past week, I sat in my room with my absentee ballot on my lap, researching candidates and wondering whether my wishes and visions for our political landscape would ever be fully realized. With corrupt candidates up for election left and right, I find it difficult to know whether I am placing my trust in the right hands. Unfortunately, we must often make compromises. In my head, I weighed whether to vote for anti-corporate leaders who represent my vision for the future—yet whom I know have slim chances of election—or whether I should vote for pro-establishment, incumbent liberal leaders whom I know will face Trump moderately, but not at all radically.

Former President Obama set the country up for progress after a reign of conservative leadership. He instilled and propagated hope. Many in our country falsely believed that a progressive president of color signalled a fundamental shift in the way our country thinks. Yet prejudice and hatred continue to lurk in our society. You can’t weed out the roots of hatred simply by planting a new flower.

Older generations label young people in America as living symbols of hope. However, frustration, prejudice and privilege has seduced a large population of young people in our country into believing the same, con-

servative, hate-filled jargon that had filled the minds of their ancestors before them.

Thus, neo-Nazi organizations are occupied by young people, particularly men.

The Institute for Family Studies stated in a report, “The youngest cohort differs relatively little from the oldest. This suggests that the problem of white identity politics is not something that will be resolved by generational replacement” (Institute for Family Studies, “The Demography of the Alt Right,” 08.09.2018).

If, in fact, today’s youth model the same ideologies of hate as their elders, then classifying all youth as beacons of hope for our society is misleading. Cynicism is an easy friend. Studying the history of hate in our country shows how little America progresses as a country. Slavery is illegal, but white hegemony recreates ways to oppress, exploit and harm people of color again and again. Nazis still shoot Jews. Police still beat, batter and murder innocent people just for their skin color. Hate-filled individuals still harm and kill others for their religion, race or ethnicity, sex or queer identity almost every day, it seems. How can we say that life is hopeful?

Hopelessness is an easy feeling to have, and a valid one, but it is not constructive. To actually progress as a people and country, we must retain hope in a practical sense. Besides protesting, campaigning and living as conscientious and respectful human beings, voting is one of the most effective ways of shifting our political landscape. This is exactly why white hegemony attempts to bar people of color and immigrants from utilizing their power and their voices.

In 2016, only 58 percent of eligible voters

cast ballots (PBS, “What does voter turnout tell us about the 2016 election?” 11.20.2016).

Even though the law lowered the voting age to 18 in the 1970s, young people still have the lowest voter turnout, particularly during midterm elections (The New York Times, “Young Voters Could Make a Difference.

Will They?” 08.02.2018). Polls recently released by the Institute of Politics at Harvard Kennedy School found that only four out of 10 adults under 30 stated that they plan to vote in this midterm election, which would still mark the highest voter turnout for young people in U.S. history.

The complexities surrounding young adult voter turnout are rooted in the many definitions of who constitutes a young person. Social and hegemonic norms generalize this demographic as politically conscious college students who plan on voting. However, this classification does not include those young adults who are not enrolled in university, those who work full-time, those with families, those in the military, veterans and those still in high school.

Universities, particularly liberal arts schools, pride themselves on encouraging their students to vote. One of my professors even offered students stamps and envelopes to mail in absentee ballots. Despite this, the laws surrounding voting and registering to vote disproportionately affect young people, particularly those who do not fit into the dominant notion of what a young adult is.

For example, many states require potential voters to have a driver’s license, which many young people, particularly in urban areas, do not have (The New York Times).

This year, several outside organizations are working to ensure that young people

do vote, going so far as to publish videos explaining voters’ rights and teaching how one can fill out a ballot. Rock the Vote, a nonpartisan organization, conducted “Democracy Class” in high schools across the country to educate young students about the history of democracy, or lack thereof, in America and (pre-)registering young voters.

Dosomething.org sent out emails and texts reminding young people to vote. Planned Parenthood, NextGen America and Alliance for Youth Action invested six figures to distribute voting guides across America before Election Day. NextGen America previously spent $4 million on ads encouraging young people to vote (The New York Times).

Organizations across America work tirelessly to ensure that young people visit the polls. Yet, when mass media broadcasts altright dialogue and actions more often than the protests and efforts of liberals—when, in fact, the alt-right makes up a small minority of voters—hope seems futile.

In reality, however, young voters have more power than they realize. In the 2012 elections, 60 percent of young voters voted Democrat, versus the 37 percent who voted Republican. In 2016, 55 percent voted for Clinton, while 37 percent voted for Trump.

Only half of eligible young voters voted in 2016, and approximately 19 percent of their total votes counted. If every single eligible young person had voted, they would account for approximately 40 percent of the total ballots turned in. Although democracy is decidedly absent from the election, Congress remains dependent on America’s voters. The elections this past Tuesday proved crucial for the future of America. Hopefully, the youth has cast their votes.

The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.

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November 8, 2018

Vassar’s concern for Jewish students deserves praise Joshua Brownridge GUEST COLUMNIST

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tanding side by side, Vassar College students and faculty collectively held a candlelight vigil to honor the 11 individuals killed at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Squirrel Hill, PA. This horrid anti-Semitic attack illuminates the hostile climate in which many Jews find themselves today. However, rather than act as a bystander to such hatred, the Vassar community seeks to combat anti-Semitism head on.

Universities can change and people can respectfully talk to one another about difficult topics. This transformation is exactly what we have seen here at Vassar. What used to be a rather malicious environment for Jewish and pro-Israel students has become a safe space for conversations to take place, thanks to pushback from students and the administration against anti-Semitic and anti-Israel movements.

When I first arrived on campus, Vassar was not the friendliest environment for a Jewish, pro-Israel student like me. The Jewish newspaper Algemeiner Journal had just ranked Vassar as the number two most anti-Semitic school in the United States and Canada, which came as a result of the school’s weak response to the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement, a global campaign dedicated to degrading Israel and her supporters (The Algemeiner, “The Algemeiner’s 1st Annual List of the US and Canada’s Worst Campuses for Jewish Students,” 2016).

Initially, only a few brave students actively opposed the anti-Israel movement. In fact, one Jewish student leader who penned an op-ed in the Jewish Telegraphic Agency in March 2016 said that the atmosphere was so vitriolic that Jewish students found it uncomfortable to openly express their Jewish heritage on campus, especially if one supported Israel (Jewish Telegraphic Agency, “Op-Ed: Mob mentality at Vassar BDS vote

typical of school’s Israel climate,” 03.15.2016).

The 2015–16 academic year was the peak of anti-Israel activity at Vassar. Former Vassar student Jason Storch described a “mob mentality” taking shape on campus, with vocal activists shouting down Israel supporters and intimidating others to hide in submission. Although their scare tactics successfully pressured the student government to pass an anti-Israel BDS resolution in March 2016, the college rejected BDS as a campus-wide referendum, proving that the campus community did not support BDS. Furthermore, anti-Israel activists’ product boycott failed, and the administration came out in strong opposition to the BDS measures (The Miscellany News, “VSA statement regarding BDS vote,” 03.04.2016).

According to Vassar alumnus and founding member of Alums for Campus Fairness Dr. Mark Banschick ’78, this turning point served as a watershed moment in the Israeli-Palestinian campus debate. He claimed that the defeat of the BDS resolutions at Vassar should serve as major encouragement to students everywhere who may feel ready to fight for an academy free of intimidation.

“Because if at Vassar—where the pro-Israel voice has been silenced for years—students have had enough, that speaks well for what can happen elsewhere,” Banschick stated (The Algemeiner, “Vassar Alumnus Calls Defeat of BDS Resolution at College a ‘Watershed Moment,’” 05.03.2016).

Banschick was right.

Around the country, other campuses have faced increasingly hostile anti-Israel groups and an uptick in anti-Semitic activity in recent years. In contrast, in my opinion, Vassar has seen a decline in anti-Israel activity, and Jewish and pro-Israel students can feel prouder and more empowered than ever to stand up for Israel on campus.

Even when egregious incidents occurred this year, like the provocation to “slap a Zionist” that appeared in a “disorientation

Please, Tell Us More!

Prof. Zachary Cofran ANTHROPOLOGY DEPT.

“T

“Jewish and proIsrael students can feel prouder and more empowered than ever to stand up for Israel on campus.”

Likewise, in the wake of the anti-Semitic poster incident on campus several weeks ago, a number of students asked the Jewish Studies Department to offer some sort of academic response to the event. The Steering Committee responded immediately, proposing a new course titled “From Anti-Judaism to Anti-Semitism” for the 2018–2019 school year. The course will explore the origins of (religious) anti-Judaism beginning in antiquity and its transformation into (political/ racial) anti-Semitism in modernity through the present.

Not only are the administration, faculty and students no longer accepting anti-Semitic or anti-Israel rhetoric, but they are also

supporting efforts to bring communities together by advocating for respectful communication among different ideological groups.

A few years ago, in response to Vassar being ranked as a top 10 most anti-Semitic school, a group of students and I unified to form Vassar Organizing Israel Conversations Effectively (VOICE). What makes VOICE unique is that, rather than acting as another polarizing group on campus to advocate for a particular stance on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, org aims to bring all perspectives surrounding Israeli affairs and the conflict together to generate educational and robust conversations. We host weekly meetings and invite speakers from a variety of fields and perspectives to discuss topics surrounding the Jewish State.

VOICE prides itself on its members, who maintain a variety of political, social and economic attitudes toward the State of Israel.

We support discussions about different opinions, which we encourage in order to facilitate true educational and personal growth.

For example, last year, we hosted a constructive conversation about Yom Ha’atzmaut (Israel’s Independence Day) and the Nakba, which signify historical events that shed light on the real and differing experiences of Israelis and Palestinians since the founding of the State of Israel in 1948.

Moreover, we openly discuss and debate Israeli policies, including controversial topics, like the continuing military occupation of the West Bank and Israel’s recent Nation State Law, on which many of our members have adopted a passionate position. Only through conversations such as these can we build trust, and only through building trust in our relationships can effective change occur.

I hope to see all Vassar students attend a VOICE meeting to share their thoughts with us and engage in respectful robust dialogue.

Support for Jewish and pro-Israel students at Vassar has never been better—let’s keep it going.

Professors: What is a topic, idea, theory or breakthrough related to your field of study that you find absolutely fascinating or feel very passionate about? Explain why.

drains blood from the head (again, so. much. blood.). Spotting a sinus is not unexpected when studying fossil skulls: After all, all animals have to get spent blood out of their crania. What’s bizarre is that this is not where a sinus is supposed to be.

This seemingly mundane groove raises a host of questions to be answered: if this is in fact a sinus, what caused it to develop in this unusual place? How common is this feature in humans today? What can its etiology tell us about Neandertal life 130,000 years ago? Did a certain experience in the short life of this child necessitate this new blood vessel, and were there any associated impacts on brain function?

This is an exciting finding for several reasons. For one thing, this fossil was Krapina 17 is an infant Neandertal cranium comprising the area around right ear and discovered among a hoard of Neandertal back side of the skull. The internal views show the inner surface, with the front end bones over 120 years ago, and to the best on the left side of the picture. The endocast in the top right is effectively a “negative” of my knowledge no one has noticed this of the surface depicted in the top left (so the front of the piece is toward the right). groove in all this time. In addition, modern technology allows new ways to analyze of the skull (there is so much blood in there). and too deep and wide to be scar of the bones and features like this. With 3D modThe groove I saw was too long and middle meningeal artery that meanders els of over 100 other Krapina fossils and smooth to have been made by a wrinkle in through this area. It looked more like a du- cutting-edge software programs in my lab, the underlying parietal lobe of the brain, ral sinus—one of the large channels that what other surprises await?

Courtesy of Zachary Cofran

hat shouldn’t be there.” I was sitting in front of my computer, staring at a 3D model of a fossil called Krapina 17, the right side of the skull of an infant Neandertal that lived in Croatia 130,000 years ago. I was interested in what this and other fossils from the Krapina site could tell us about brains and growth in these extinct humans. Although I was initially concerned with the size and shape of this poor child’s brain, it was a small groove on the bone that grabbed my attention.

The inner surface of the skull reflects the size and shape of the brain it surrounds— brains themselves do not fossilize, but fine details like blood vessels and the brain’s wrinkly convolutions leave their imprints on the bony surface of the skull, like signatures scrawled on the sidewalk. Scientists have studied these impressions in humans, our fossil forebears and other animals for over a century, and so we have a decent idea of which wrinkles represent which brain structures, and where different amounts of blood get ferried into and out

guide” sent to more than 400 students and the Daily Stormer distributing anti-Semitic fliers on campus, President Elizabeth Bradley was quick to release public statements condemning these anti-Israel and anti-Semitic attacks (The Algemeiner, “Vassar College Condemns ‘Provocative’ Disorientation Guide That Urged Students to ‘Slap a Zionist,’” 09.04.2018; The Miscellany News, “College bans suspect in anti-Semitic poster campaign,” 10.10.2018).

It seems like common sense for a university administration to do whatever it can to protect its students. However, that was not the case at Vassar just a few short years ago, and unfortunately, many of my Jewish and/ or pro-Israel peers studying at other universities are not afforded the same level of security and respect.

This segment is designed to be a space in which professors are invited to talk about any topic related to their work that they find fascinating.

If you are interested in contributing, please write a 300-word or longer response to the question shown above and email your piece to Steven Park at eupark@@[at]@vassar.edu along with a picture of yourself or something relevant to your topic (examples include research projects, independent work or labs).

The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

November 8, 2018

OPINIONS

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PETA fails as legitimate animal rights organization Jesser Horowitz COLUMNIST

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n 2015, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) filed a lawsuit against photographer David Slater. Four years earlier, Slater traveled to Indonesia, where he spent a few days photographing macaques—or rather, letting them photograph themselves. PETA argued that Slater should not be allowed to own the copyright on the image, because it legally belongs to the monkeys that took them.

This lawsuit bankrupted poor Mr. Slater, who in 2017 wasn’t even able to afford a new camera, let alone pay his attorney.

PETA pursued this lawsuit to the benefit of no one: The animal could not benefit from the copyright because it had no concept of money and no use for it. Yet, guided by a fringe animal rights philosophy and an unchallenged, self-righteous arrogance, PETA believed that it was morally right and good to drive an innocent man to the point of bankruptcy. (The Guardian, “Monkey selfie photographer says he’s broke: ‘I’m thinking of dog walking,’” 06.12.2017).

PETA is a dangerous organization that poses a threat to those that oppose its insensitive, backwards beliefs. What makes PETA different from other more “moderate” animal rights organizations is its radical commitment to complete human-animal equality. Their motto is “Animals are not ours to experiment on, eat, wear, use for entertainment, or abuse in any way” (PETA, “What PETA REALLY Stands For”).

Essentially, PETA’s goal isn’t merely to abolish animal abuse or improve conditions in farms, zoos or slaughterhouses; it

is to eliminate the exploitation of animals in every conceivable way. In their view, animals are not inherently different from humans and are therefore entitled to the same rights, including, apparently copyright (PETA, “RZA: We’re Not Different in Any Important Way,” 01.17.2018).

Because PETA fervently believes that the value of an animal’s life equates to that of a human, they have resorted to extreme measures to get their message across while simultaneously justifying their actions as morally righteous. For example, in 2004, PETA launched a campaign titled “Holocaust on Your Plate,” directly comparing the consumption of animals to the murders committed by Nazis during the Holocaust.

(PETA, “PETA Germany’s Holocaust Display Banned,” 03.27.2009).

Then in 2016, PETA put forward an advertisement that compared sexual assault to the consumption of meat and dairy. It began with women sharing their stories of being sexually assaulted, only to end with them holding up pictures of cows and saying, “Because I am you, only different” (The Huffington Post, “Outrageous New PETA Ad Compares Cows With Rape Victims,” 11.04.2016). I do not intend to delve into the specifics regarding the validity of their claim, because such a conversation is irrelevant. Even if PETA’s claims about the meat and dairy industry contain aspects of truth, comparing sexual assault to eating cows is morally unacceptable.

However, if PETA’s attitude towards the Holocaust and rape seems tasteless, the organization’s attitude toward disabled people is particularly hypocritical and egre-

gious. In a 2003 interview with The New Yorker, PETA president Ingrid Newkirk said that she believes that the use of Seeing Eye dogs are an abdication of human responsibility and that she completely opposes their use. She even admitted to taking away at least one person’s Seeing Eye dog (The New Yorker, “The Extremist: The Woman Behind the Most Successful Radical Group in America,” 04.14.2003).

PETA has also delegitimized the struggles of autistic people by putting up billboards that read “Got autism? Studies have shown a link between cow’s milk and autism” (Time, “Got Credibility? Then You’re Not PETA,” 05.30.2014). First, PETA is misleading the public by implying that milk causes autism, when in fact, the study they cited makes no such claims. Second, PETA misread the scientific data. PETA claims that milk is associated with symptoms of autism and that giving up dairy products helps alleviate symptoms of autism.

However, as Time Magazine points out, the studies they used don’t really show that to be the case either. What it does show is that avoiding dairy may help alleviate certain gastrointestinal issues. These issues are closely related to certain symptoms of autism. Thus, there is a correlation between not consuming dairy and the alleviation of certain autism symptoms, but only tangentially. By promoting this idea, PETA further contributes to the stigmatization of autistic people. PETA has clearly demonstrated that they would much rather prioritize the well-being of animals over that of disabled people.

However, the most obvious evidence of

hypocrisy lies in the fact that PETA kills a lot of animals. Since 1998, PETA has killed about 38,190 animals, or 85.2 percent of the animals in its care. Dr. Daniel Kovich, an investigator with the Virginia Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, found in 2010 that 84 percent of the animals PETA cared for were killed within 24 hours. He even noted that PETA’s shelters in the state did not meet their own guidelines for operating a humane animal shelter.

Why do they do this? While good old-fashioned incompetence may partly clarify this enormous discrepancy, one explanation may have to do with Newkirk’s own beliefs, since she believes in the abolition of pet ownership and she probably doesn’t want to see any animals adopted.

After all, her position on the matter equates to “[I]f people want toys, they should be inanimate objects. If they want companionship, they should seek it with their own kind” (Peta Kills Animals, “Proof PETA Kills”).

PETA is a terrible organization that deserves the support of absolutely no one.

Anyone who knowingly supports them despite their callousness and hypocrisy should feel ashamed of themselves. Newkirk has exposed herself as one of the most disreputable, pathetic people on the planet with her words and her actions. There are good animals rights organizations out there, such as American Humane, that take reasonable positions and legitimately commit to doing the right thing. PETA is not one such organization. If you want to support animal welfare, I would highly recommend taking your time and money elsewhere.

Amazon Prime exploits hidden environmental costs Isabella Boyne COLUMNIST

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n the face of frequent exhaustion and financial debt, college students understandably tend to choose the simplest and cheapest option when it comes to package delivery. No one wants to pay extra shipping that costs just as much as the item they are buying, nor does anyone want to go out shopping after a four-hour lab.

Amazon helps resolve those problems by offering Amazon Prime Student, a service that provides all of the Amazon Prime membership benefits without paying $99 a year. Many college students (myself included), therefore, love Amazon Prime Student, especially the accompanying six-month free trial. Love is blind, however and this love, in particular, is blind to the environmental costs that come with Amazon Prime.

In theory, shopping through an internet retailer such as Amazon may seem more environmentally friendly than shopping at a traditional brick-and-mortar store. In reality, regardless of from where someone purchases their items, a truck will have to deliver them, either to the buyer’s home or to the store itself. Having goods delivered directly to your address should reduce environmental costs, since customers no longer need to drive their car to the store.

Sustainability Representative at Amazon Melanie Janin stated in an email to online magazine Grist, “Our research shows that delivering a typical order to an Amazon customer is more environmentally friendly than that customer driving to a store.”

However, the same logic doesn’t apply when it comes to Prime shipping, as such “rush” shipping plays a significant factor in

Amazon’s plan to push out traditional retailers (Grist, “On Amazon’s Prime Day, the environment gets a raw deal,” 07.17.2018).

As consumers, we have started to opt for speed over everything else, including professionalism and the ability to track products. A survey conducted by courier Dropoff for Shoptalk, the largest annual e-commerce and retail conference in the world, found that 99 percent of U.S. consumers said that they value “fast delivery” when making online purchases, compared to only 75 percent who indicated professionalism and 99 percent who mentioned real-time tracking (Dropoff, “Survey Findings Reveal Consumers Want Even Faster Delivery, and They’re Willing to Pay for it,” 03.20.2018).

If we have the option for something to be delivered in two days rather than a week— especially if the delivery comes free—it only makes sense that we would choose the cheaper and faster option. However, this desire for instant gratification means that companies can no longer take the steps that they normally could to reduce environmental costs and improve distribution.

Miguel Jaller from the Institute of Transportation Studies at the University of California, Davis said, “Before, companies were able to consolidate, to optimize their distribution. Now, because some of them are offering really fast and rushed deliveries, that disintegrates the consolidation. Every individual is buying more and wanting those goods to be at their home really fast.

That creates more vehicles, more traffic, and potentially more emissions” (Vox, “The environmental cost of free 2-day shipping,” 11.17.2017).

Not only that, but two-day Prime shipping doesn’t even promise Amazon’s fastest delivery speed. Amazon has started promoting Prime Now, a free delivery service for all Prime members that offers two-hour delivery time on local dispatches like groceries and home essentials (Business Insider, “Amazon is giving anyone who hasn’t tried its 2-hour delivery service, Prime Now, $20 off their first 2 orders – here’s how to get the deal,” 07.14.2018). As a result, Amazon has placed more pollutant-producing vehicles on the road, taking consumers further away from the goal of reducing our environmental footprint.

“If you look at passenger vehicles, they’re pretty darn clean at this point,” stated Director of the Center for Environmental Research and Technology at University of California Riverside Matt Barth. He mentions that “Trucks are a different animal,” as the majority of them still run on diesel, unlike passenger vehicles which are moving towards gasoline and electric (Vox, “The environmental cost of free 2-day shipping,” 11.17.2017).

However, we can reduce the negative environmental impact that comes from the carbon emissions produced by trucks by addressing the “last mile” problem, a term that refers to the final distance from a distribution center to a package’s destination. One company, Matternet, has created drones for the purpose of delivering lightweight packages.

In an interview with The Atlantic, Matternet founder Andreas Raptopoulos stated, “You have a lightweight package going to a single destination. You cannot aggregate packages. It’s still way too complicated and

expensive. It’s very energy inefficient. UAVs or drones deal with the problem of doing this very efficiently with extremely low cost and high reliability. It’s the best answer to the problem” (The Atlantic, “A Drone-Delivery Expert Answers the Big Questions About Amazon’s Plans,” 12.02.2013).

A study by The Smithsonian suggests that small drones do indeed have a smaller negative impact on the environment than any truck or van, regardless of the power source—diesel, gasoline, natural gas or electricity (Smithsonian, “Is Drone Delivery Good for the Environment,” 02.14.2018).

Aside from employing drones, companies can reduce their carbon emission from deliveries by switching to electric vehicles or, perhaps in the future, self-driving trucks that release drones as they drive.

Companies can easily improve the environmental issues associated with online shopping by switching to the aforementioned techniques. However, the environmental responsibilities do not solely lie with companies. We as consumers contribute to the issue through the way we shop. Instead of placing individual orders, we should plan to buy multiple items at once so that companies can consolidate orders. In addition, we should avoid expedited shipping when we are able to wait a few extra days.

Finally, we need to consume less. Just because we have the ability to buy something doesn’t mean that we should. We can’t expect companies to act in a way that goes against their incentive to make profit, but we do have the ability to change the market.

The problems stem from the delivery to our doorsteps, so perhaps the solutions should come from there, too.

The Miscellany News is not responsible for the views presented within its Opinions pages. The weekly staff editorial is the only article which reflects the opinion of the Editorial Board.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

HUMOR & SATIRE

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November 8, 2018

Breaking News

From the desk of Hannah Gaven, Humor & Satire Editor

President Bradley elected to New York Senate after write-in campaign by adoring Sunday email readers Christmas worshipper’s holiday spirit leads to broken femur Blair Webber

CHRISTMAS-HOLIC

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Frank/The Miscellany News

hristmas: the season for which Jesus is the source of its creation. Beginning as soon as August ends and continuing until the following July, Christmas captures the hearts, minds and money of millions of people across the globe. After being startled abruptly out of sleep by the first-year in her hallway who she thinks is screaming every night at 3 a.m., Sarah Beth Grimes is forced to go check to make sure everything is ok, only to discover that it was really just laughing. There’s nothing more exciting than the real start of the Christmas season!

“I started listening to an all–Christmas carol station back in September, but now that Halloween’s over, I can’t wait to really get into the swing of things this Christmas,” said Grimes.

Grimes’ first order of business upon moving in at the start of the school year in August was to hang holly from the ceilings.

“I think it looks festive in any weather.

Plus, I mean, September 1 is really the time to start. If you keep putting it off, by November you’ll be overwhelmed with decorations and gift shopping and baking cookies and all that. It gets to be too much. I’m a little overwhelmed as it is; I wish I’d started earlier,” Grimes commented.

With the onset of chillier weather, other students have noticed Grimes doubling down on her decorations.

“She keeps pouring hot chocolate in the sink. I think the mini marshmallows have clogged it. It just keeps backing up,” said one of the other students in Grimes’s hall. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s better than the sink clogging with the carrots and stuff from people’s take-out Pad Thai, but I mean, why does the sink have to clog at all?”

Grimes has not been given free reign to decorate the entire hall.

“My stufel did make me clean up the fake snow,” complained Grimes. “It wasn’t my fault that that guy slipped and broke his femur. The slipperiness of the fake snow adds to the realism of it. Real snow is slippery, too!”

While the broken femur did cause quite a stir, other of Grimes’ celebratory actions have created more widespread ire.

Another member of the hallway sighed, “I don’t want to listen to Mariah Carey all night long. I used to love that song, but it haunts my dreams now. I’m not exaggerating when I say all night. I think she leaves it looped all day, too. I’ve started trying to spend as much time away from my room as possible. I’ve been sleeping in the Cushing common room. Those couches are not pleasant.”

Grimes’ most recent efforts even made President Bradley’s Sunday email.

“Dear all, I would just like to remind you that it is not safe nor allowed to climb on the roofs of buildings, especially while holding the end of a string of large, plastic reindeer between your teeth. Safety on campus is a top priority, and anyone else seen behaving like this will be disqualified from any future Crafted Kup gift card opportunities,” Bradley wrote.

Grimes, however, is undeterred.

“I know people think it’s a little crazy, but no one is too cool to celebrate Christmas.

Besides, I think they’ll really come around when I cut down the big pine tree outside The Bridge and decorate it in the Cushing MPR. It’ll look so beautiful,” Grimes gushed. “I do think I’ll have to move some of the couches out of there to make room for its branches. I’m not sure how I’ll do it quite yet, but I can’t wait until it’s done.”

Above is an angry mob chasing down the Christmas-lover with pitchforks. I like to sit on my bed and use my pitchfork to turn off my light, but it’s also great for stabbing.

Collection of very serious poems: Literary analysis required Gifted to our museum by poet Izzy Migani

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

HUMOR & SATIRE

November 8, 2018

Page 17

Student divulges 11 ways to assert dominance in Deece Courtesy of Isabel Morrison

Pictured above is a map of the Deece divided into Cartesian quadrants. Hopefully this will help you orient yourself and snag a booth before late night.

Isabel Morrison (and everyone she knows) BOOTH ENTHUSIAST

I

plate of soup you’re about to consume!

7. Pour soup in the utensil container that clearly says “soup” on it: While we’re spreading mayhem in the “Stocks” station, take charge and do what is clearly being asked of you by the awkwardly fancy cursive label on the bucket of spoons, aka “soups.”

8. Make dinner plans at 7, but eat an entire meal at 6, and then when your Deece date shows up, say, “I already ate,” then intensely watch them eat without breaking eye contact: I have employed this strategy with mixed results. It is a good way to assert your dominance, but it can end your Deece date.

9. Take an entire three-gallon container of ice cream back to your table because it’s an All-You-Care-to-EatFacility™: You’ll need this one after your

Deece date gets weirded out (see number seven) and suddenly becomes “too busy” to ever see you again. Fill that hole in your heart with all the ice cream you can eat.

10. Look somebody in the eye and chug water from the container that the ice cream scoops are kept in: While you’re over there picking up your three-gallon container, drown your sorrows with the drink of champions while horrifying everyone in your vicinity.

11. Call it the ACDC or better yet, the All Campus Dining Center, and be confused when someone calls it the Deece: I refuse to call this iconic location by its theoretical new alias, and so to sow even more confusion about the name, I propose we take a leaf out of our professors’ books and not even stoop low enough to call it the Deece.

Courtesy of Isabel Morrison

n light of the recent “name change” of the formerly-known-as All Campus Dining Center, I feel like it has become necessary to spread wisdom on how to maintain control in this constantly evolving fixture.

The Deece is central to our lives at Vassar, and yet we have little control over it. It is time for change! Here are the 11 best ways to assert your dominance in the Deece.

1. Divide the Deece into cartesian quadrants to locate your friends with ease: The Deece has undergone numerous changes in my time here at Vassar, and it’s impossible to keep track of how to state one’s location in the building—left or right (TBH no one knows the difference), old small side/ old big side, weird-shaped table by desserts, booth by the graveyard—life would be so much easier if we just put our math major friends to work on simplifying this stressful aspect of coming to the Deece.

2. Beat another group of people to

an open booth by throwing your otter-boxed phone halfway across the Deece into said booth, therefore claiming it: Booths are always a point of contention and are an instrumental component in this dominance-assertion process. How can you be a force in the Deece if you don’t have a home base from which to plan and execute your schemes?

3. Move into a booth for the day and decorate it like your room: Once you’ve claimed your booth with your hopefully still-intact phone, make sure everyone knows it’s yours—I’m talking string lights, posters, touching family photos, that rug your mom got you, your coffee maker, non-flammable furniture, the works!

4. Bring your own reusable mug: This way you don’t have to use a disposable cup or give the workers more dishes to wash: Ha! Take that, society! *middle finger emoji* 5. Bring your globe to the Deece to make the “Global Kitchen” truly global: I am more confused by this station every time I enter the Deece. What will it be today... mashed potatoes, pasta, a whole raw bell pepper, a potted plant? (Question: how are these things “global?”) Let’s take this station back to its roots by installing 2,450 globes.

6. Put soup on a plate and your other food in a bowl: I love to eat soup, but sometimes there isn’t a single bowl to be found in the Deece. The clear solution is to scoop your soup onto a plate. Once you’ve done this, you’re likely to find a stash of bowls where you least expected it, so fill that cereal bowl with pizza to reward yourself for the healthy

Isabel is in a booth with her otter-boxed phone, reusable mug, lights and family portrait.

She already ate, but is staring intensely at her Deece date, who is eating bowl pizza.

HOROSCOPES Hannah Gaven

AMATEUR ASTROLOGIST

ARIES

March 21 | April 19

TAURUS

April 20 | May 20

GEMINI

May 21 | June 20

CANCER

June 21 | July 22

LEO

July 23 | August 22

VIRGO

August 23 | September 22

Do you ever promise that you’re going to go to breakfast with someone and then “accidentally” sleep through your alarm? If you haven’t, I totally recommend. It’s a great excuse that you can use whenever you need some more zzzzzz’s.

Why do we wish upon stars? They already have your future all planned. For example, Taurus, you will stub your toe this week. It will be horribly painful. Wow, I’m so glad this happened to be Taurus’ horoscope and not mine.

I love listening to my neighbor talk to her significant other. I’m not sure if she knows that I can literally hear every word and have a strong opinion about their third breakup. The stars suggest that you ask your neighbor for advice on your relationship because odds are she’s heard everything.

Why are oranges called oranges? What came first, the color orange or oranges? This is a real chicken-and-the-egg problem that should never stop plaguing you. Also whoever did the naming is so lame and uncreative. I hate them.

If you’re feeling lonely, get yourself a body pillow. Not only can you cuddle it to sleep while sobbing about your breakup, you can also use it as a sex partner.

Why do we have to brush our teeth twice a day? That wastes 130 million minutes of my life. Plus, isn’t that why you’re supposed to go to the dentist every six months, for them to brush your teeth? Stop brushing your teeth to stop wasting your life.

LIBRA

September 23 | October 22

SCORPIO

October 23 | November 21

SAGITTARIUS

November 22 | December 21

It’s hard to keep up to date with your eyebrows. Plucking and waxing is painful, and it’s such a burden. The stars suggest that you catch your eyebrows on fire and melt them off.

Now you won’t have to deal with them for another couple of months!

Hugging is weird. We smush up our bodies against someone else. You can feel their intestines, which just makes me want to dig in and pull out a gallbladder, so we can be as close as two people can possibly be. Come cuddle with me.

We all have to-do lists. Number one on my to-do list is world domination. The world would be so much better with me in charge.

There would be mandatory ice cream eating twice a day, and the GoCo would be renamed the Deece for all of eternity. You’re welcome.

Now that Halloween is over, the holiday

CAPRICORN season has begun!!! I suggest celebrating by

December 22 | watching the new Netflix original ChristJanuary 19 mas movie. You need to start now or else you’ll get behind on all of Hallmark’s new releases!

AQUARIUS

January 20 | February 18

PISCES

February 19 | March 20

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

It’s time to clean your best friend’s room.

Odds are they haven’t done laundry yet this school year, and they have resorted to wearing swimsuit tops as bras. Take some pity on them and clean their room while they nap.

Do you ever wonder what is appropriate to bring to a party or potluck? I recommend bringing a watermelon. It’s a lot of effort to cut up, so I think it’s okay to simply bring a spoon so everyone can take a scoop and share!

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November 8, 2018

TakeQuake Part Two: Early-season NBA overreactions Emmett O’Malley COLUMNIST

owdy. Last week, I wrote about the Red Sox’s vicious history of racial animus. This week, I want to write an entirely different piece in terms of tone. I want to write about the first three weeks of the NBA season, and how we can overreact to them.

So let’s shed our obsession with tempered rationality. Let’s dip our whole foot into the Pond of Volatility. Let’s go crazy. Let’s get nuts. Better live now before the grim reaper comes knocking on our door. (If you don’t get this allusion, it’s time for you to do a Prince deep dive.)

The following takes crescendo to true blasphemy.

H

Vlade Divac is a Good General Manager On Feb. 20, 2017, when Vlade Divac traded Demarcus Cousins and Omri Casspi to the New Orleans Pelicans for Buddy Hield, a protected first-round pick, Tyreke Evans and Langston Galloway, there was uproar in the NBA Twittersphere. The heart of the criticism was that the Kings gave up the best center in the league for Hield, a guy whose greatest NBA accomplishment up to that point was being named Buddy. Divac admitted that he’d had better deals in line before teams backed out. Nonetheless, he pulled the trigger, assuming that Cousins’ value was spiraling ever downward. Cousins went to New Orleans, and there realized his potential as a world-destroying (and chemistry-destroying) center. Buddy Hield looked like a modern-day Morris Peterson. Vlade looked like a chainsmoker (and not the back-seat-of-yourrover kind) who was not long for his title as an NBA GM. Fast forward two years, and Cousins is nursing a torn Achilles while Hield is leading the Kings to a startling 6-4 record. Divac, of course, still looks like someone who eats cigarettes for breakfast. But that’s beside the point. Not only is Hield lighting up the league (20 ppg on 53/48/83 splits), but the young players to whom the Kings handed the keys appear to be blossoming as well.

De’Aaron Fox looks like the stat-stuffing sly

fox that dominated Lonzo Ball in the NCAA Tournament two seasons ago. Willie Cauley-Stein looks like he finally woke up from his Sacramento-induced slumber. Heck, even Marvin Bagley almost, almost, almost looks like he should’ve gone in the first eight picks of this year’s draft.

Divac snatched Nemanja Bjelica from the Sixers, Iman Shumpert from the nightclub and hired Dave Joerger to mentor the young, scrappy Kings group. Now, just imagine if the Kings had taken Donovan Mitchell with the 10th pick in 2017, and Luka Doncic with the second pick in 2018. Sheesh.

Stephen Curry is the Best Regular Season Player in the NBA Unfortunately, this isn’t an overreaction. It would be an overreaction to say he was the best player in the NBA, but I just can’t bring myself to do it given LeBron’s playoff performances over the past seven years. But what Steph has done to start this NBA season is, even by his standards, unprecedented.

The most basic of stats, for once, really do speak for themselves. Steph’s averaging 33 points, five rebounds and six assists per game for a team that’s 10-1. He scored 51 points against the Washington Wizards. His worst shooting performance of the season came against the Brooklyn Nets...when he dropped 35 points on a putrid *takes out magnifying glass* 42 percent shooting (the exact same shooting percentage as Allen Iverson in his MVP season). It took him 10 games to not hit five threes in a game. He is shooting—this is not a typo—51 percent from three-point range. The NBA’s most efficient three-point shooter ever is Steve Kerr, who shot a truly impressive 45 percent for his career.

Without getting bogged down in advanced metrics, Curry’s effect on a game transcends even these mind-boggling statistics.

Go ahead and turn on any Warriors contest to watch teams scrambling to guard Steph Curry like Vassar students scrambling to a pre-registration portal. It’s absurd. And it’s this immeasurable might that makes him the most important piece on the best team ever.

Just don’t give him a 3-1 lead.

Luka Doncic is the Next Larry Bird

In the theme of stat-ifying this piece, let’s go on a quick trip down Basketball Reference Lane. Pay close attention. Through nine NBA games, Luka Doncic is averaging approximately 19 points, seven rebounds and five assists per game on 47/39/70 splits. In 1979, through his first nine NBA games, Larry Bird averaged approximately 19 points, eight rebounds and five assists on 49/38/79 splits.

Of course, these essentially identical stat lines come with some qualifications. Bird’s Celtics were 7-2 through nine games in 1979 and finished 61-21. It was the greatest single-season franchise turnaround in league history, and the only real difference was Larry Bird. He was that special. Doncic’s Mavericks are a measly 3-7. It would be surprising if they finished above .500. He’s special, but he’s not turning around a franchise like Bird turned around the Celtics in ’79.

However, noting the makeup of the league in 1979 and contrasting it with the league in 2018 is worth briefly doing. Indeed, Bird came into the league only three years after the NBA and ABA merger, at a time when basketball seemed doomed to be the distant third or maybe even fourth sport in America.

Bird was the white savior that an extraordinarily racist city like Boston needed (see my last article).

It was also a time when players stayed in college a few years before catapulting into the Association. Bird came into the league at 22. Doncic is 19. That’s not to say that the Mavericks will be winning 60+ games by the time Doncic is 22, but it is to say that Bird had played against a 21-year-old Magic Johnson in the NCAA Tournament just six months prior to his NBA debut, and although Doncic was MVP of the second-best basketball league in the world only a matter of months ago, I’m going to wait for him to shed his baby fat before I set down a firm opinion regarding his athletic ability.

With the measurable accolades out of the way, it’s worth briefly dwelling on the less measurable similarities between Doncic and Bird. Down four in a recent game to the Los Angeles Lakers with 30 seconds left, Doncic drove past Brandon Ingram. LeBron James closed from the corner to double Luka. Doncic felt the help coming, pumped towards the

basket to ensure that LeBron came all the way in from the corner, and then whipped a perfectly placed bounce pass out to the corner to a wide-open Harrison Barnes. Barnes drilled the three.

A play later, now down two, the Mavericks’ head coach, Rick Carlisle, drew up the exact same action that netted Barnes the three; Deandre Jordan set a high screen for Doncic, Doncic forewent the screen, Jordan rolled to the basket, giving Doncic the option of going all the way to the rim, kicking it back up top, hitting the rolling Jordan, or dishing to the near-side corner. Doncic got Josh Hart on a switch, drove hard left, double-pumped and drilled a fallaway floater from the left side.

There wasn’t an explosive athletic play, or a jaw-dropping crossover or a display of wicked sharpshooting to be had. What there was was a transcendent sense of the game for a 19-year-old.

And two teams passed on him.

Carmelo Anthony is Still Good At Basketball Just kidding.

Kobe Bryant Should Come Out of Retirement and Play for the Lakers Again, just kidding, but I want to sit with this one for a moment.

Did you know that Kobe Bryant never shot over 47 percent in a season? Did you know that in the three intervening years after Shaq’s departure and before Pau Gasol’s arrival, Kobe Bryant won exactly four playoff games and never made it out of the first round? Did you know that Kobe “Captain Clutch” Bryant shot 6-24 in Game 7 of the 2010 Finals and 7-22 in the decisive Game 6 of the 2008 Finals? Or that he scored only eight points on 4-20 shooting in the decisive Game 5 of the 2000 Finals and three shots in the second half of a losing Game 7 against the Suns in 2006?

Did you know that Kobe “Mr. Laker” Bryant requested a trade from the team in 2007?

Miss me with the ex-post-facto Kobe aggrandizement in LA. It’s LeBron’s team now.

For better.

Unless, of course, 40-year-old Kobe Bryant wants to come out and score 60 again...on 50 shots. Eat your heart out, Kobe die-hards.

Proposed ‘Super League’ threatens European soccer Desmond Curran GUEST COLUMNIST

I

t’s an interesting time of year for fans of both Major League Soccer (MLS) and the various European soccer leagues. European teams are just returning from an extensive international break and plunging back into domestic leagues, domestic cups and, for a select few, international competitions such as the Champions League and Europa League. Back stateside, the MLS playoffs have only just begun, providing us with thrill and heartbreak—as seen in D.C. United’s loss to the Columbus Crew this past Thursday.

I wrote my last article critiquing the structure of the MLS playoffs, on what I saw as a lack of competitiveness that potentially allows mediocre teams to qualify for the postseason due to short bursts of good form.

I would like to add a brief extension to this, relating to recent developments in European soccer which I will explain below.

As of now, the MLS maintains a high degree of parity. There are no dominant teams, so no team has yet been able to exploit the playoff system through their own excellence. By comparison, in domestic European leagues, each team plays their competitors

twice, once at home, and the other time away.

The winner of the league is the team that has the best total win-draw-loss record at the end of the year.

I will admit, in the various European leagues, the process of deciding a champion is less suspenseful than in the MLS. Playoffs certainly make for better television.

This is exactly what (a few) European clubs have picked up on. Documents obtained by the whistleblowing website Football Leaks and published in a report by the German newspaper Der Spiegel on Nov. 2 reveal intentions to create a “Super League” for Europe’s biggest, best clubs. For these top clubs, the Super League would presumably supplant their participation in domestic leagues and in international competitions.

Furthermore, this league would have a playoff format similar to that of MLS, abandoning the format that every single European league currently uses.

As I mentioned earlier, playoffs are exciting, tense and emotional endeavors. They are fun to watch, no matter the sport. While I would not consider myself an avid fan of sports besides soccer, more times than not, if given the opportunity, I will tune in to a MLB, NHL, NFL or NBA playoff game.

This draw is exactly what the top clubs in Europe are hoping to tap into with their Super League idea. The English Premier League is one of the most widely watched professional sports leagues in the world—and with that distinction comes incredibly lucrative deals for broadcasting rights across the globe. But even then, casual fans in the United States or Malaysia don’t tune in to watch Newcastle vs. Burnley on a Monday evening. They want to watch a game between Arsenal and Liverpool or Manchester City and Chelsea. They tune in to watch the teams that have the largest brands and the most recognizable players.

If the top teams from each European country grouped together in their own exclusive league, the potential profit from the broadcast rights, to be sold across the world, would likely be astronomical. Having weekly high-profile matches between the likes of Paris Saint Germain, Manchester United, Bayern Munich, Juventus and Barcelona would draw millions upon millions of viewers for every match. Now, in this already boisterous grouping, imagine the energy that playoffs bring to players and fans alike.

While I can fully understand the financial desires that are pushing clubs—specifically Bayern Munich, who proposed the idea ac-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

cording to the Football Leaks—I cannot emphasize how terrible this change would be.

The biggest European clubs would not hold their current pedigree without their domestic leagues. Sans their recent success in the Premier League, teams like Manchester City have no claim to be a part of any Super League. Bayern Munich has historically dominated the Bundesliga in part because it is able to sign talented German players from other teams in the league.

Most important, the Super League would render the matchups between Europe’s elite meaningless. The Champions League and Europa League are special because the participants always evolve and change. There are certainly clubs that consistently participate, but even then the individual matchups remain unique. Games between Paris Saint Germain and Liverpool rarely occur, which is what makes them so special. The Super League would guarantee these matches, and thus take that special atmosphere away.

The creation of the Super League would certainly lend European soccer a new facet for fans to enjoy. But in doing so, it would spit on the history of its participants, and possibly destroy one of the parts of the European game that already makes the sport so special.

November 8, 2018

SPORTS

Page 19

Brewer Sports Roundup: Seasons end, extend, begin Myles Olmsted SPORTS EDITOR

Men’s soccer bows out of Liberty League playoffs Facing rival Hobart in the first round of the Liberty League playoffs, the men’s soccer team couldn’t recover from the concession of two early goals and fell by a final of 4-2. Junior Mattie Mrlik and first-year Eamon Geraghty scored for Vassar. The loss knocked the Brewers (9-7-0) out of the league tournament, ending their season. The Brewers will rue injuries that kept senior center back Tim Collins and junior striker Kevin Baliat—both starters and key contributors—out of the playoff clash.

The season saw Mrlik lead the team in goals with five; Baliat, junior Henrik Olsson, junior Jonathan Bow and first-year Quinn Tunnell added three apiece. Junior keeper Will Marment started 13 games for the Brewers, racking up 47 saves.

On Nov. 5, the Liberty League announced that four members of the Vassar men’s team were selected for All-Liberty League Honors. Mrlik and senior center back Tyler Gilmore earned First Team honors, with Marment and Baliat named to the Second Team.

Courtesy of Joe Clifford

Women’s soccer earns shock NCAA Tournament bid Following a crushing defeat to RIT in the Liberty League quarterfinals on Oct. 30—a game in which the Brewers gave away a two-goal lead in the final moments of regulation before losing in extra time— the Vassar women’s soccer team thought their season was over. At 9-7-1 on the season, the team figured that, to make the NCAA Tournament, they had needed the automatic bid that comes with winning the Liberty League—or at very least they had needed to make a deep run in league postseason play. “Season Ends in Heartbreaking Fashion,” read the headline on the Vassar athletics website.

Yet on Monday, Nov. 5, after almost a week without practicing or meeting as a group, the team found out they’d received an at-large bid to the 64-team NCAA Tournament. Said senior defender Megan Coughlan on hearing the news: “The bid definitely came as a shock—none of us were expecting it. I’m super stoked, though, that my career isn’t quite over and that I can come out of retirement for one last go!”

Not only does the bid come as a welcome surprise, it also marks the first time that the team has made the tournament in the history of the program. In granting Vassar an at-large bid, the NCAA Division III selection committee was likely rewarding the Brewers for playing a difficult schedule and for several wins against high-quality opponents, most notably Stevens, Western Connecticut State and #15 RIT in September and then #7 William Smith in October.

On the same day as the at-large bid was announced, the Liberty League also doled out its All-League selections. The Brewers landed five players on the list. Senior Rebecca Andrews made First Team All-

League, first-year Emma Tanner and senior Emma Lavelle made Second Team, and sophomore Ashley Ferry and senior Dahlia Chroscinski made Honorable Mention.

In the first round of the NCAA Tournament, Vassar will travel to Amherst, MA, on Saturday, Nov. 10, to face the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (16-2-3) of the NEWMAC conference.

Runners for the women’s and men’s cross country teams celebrate their respective dominant ECAC Championship wins. The squads will compete in Regionals this weekend.

dominant wins on a course modified after heavy rain. For the women’s side, all five scoring runners finished in the top eight overall, giving the Brewers a resounding 47-point win over the second place team, St. Joseph’s. Junior Meghan Cook took second place overall, with sophomore Seneca Straub placing fourth, first-year Anna Hennessy fifth, first-year Keara Ginell sixth and first-year Erin Clark eighth.

The men’s team also won in dominant fashion, placing all five runners in the top 13. Senior Ry Blume led the Brewers with a third-place finish, with senior Sam Kobrin and first-year Johnathan Dean also finishing in the top 10. All three earned AllWomen’s and men’s cross country ECAC honors, given to runners placing in sweep ECAC meet the top 25, as did Eli Bashant, a junior, and On Saturday, Nov. 3, the women’s and Vidal Gutierrez, a sophomore. men’s cross country teams traveled to MilBoth teams should face stiffer competiton, NY, to compete in the Eastern Col- tion at the Regional Championship meet. lege Athletic Conference championship meet. Both teams would come away with Swimming and diving teams off to

hot start After three meets—against Brandeis, Bard and Skidmore—the women’s swimming and diving team is undefeated, while the men’s team is 2-1. In their most recent meet, against Skidmore, the women’s team finished first in 12 of 16 events. Standout performances included first-year Kendall Hayes’ three individual event wins, and two individual wins apiece from sophomore Brynn Lautenbacher and first-year Jesse Ecklund.

For the Vassar men, sophomore Max White stole the headlines, beating his own pool record in the 200 backstroke by almost two seconds. White also picked up individual wins in the 100 backstroke and 200 freestyle. White’s day earned him Liberty League Swimmer of the Week honors for the second time already this season.

First-year Jake Mier also shone, winning the 200 butterfly and 200 individual medley.

First League title caps historic season for field hockey FIELD HOCKEY continued from page 1

for Vassar’s ability to produce offensive opportunities against the Yellowjackets.

“I think defensive effort was what won us the game,” More proclaimed. “Our defensive corners were key and our transition into offense from them caught Rochester, an offensive powerhouse, off guard.”

More herself also deserves credit for Vassar’s offensive success, her attacks

down the right flank creating many of the Brewers’ chances during the game, as Rochester proved unable to contain her quick moves forward.

More also scored the lone goal of the game, which came 15 minutes into the second period. Senior midfielder Mikayla Young took a corner from the left-hand side of the field, which was controlled by senior captain Megan Caveny. Caveny

Courtesy of Joe Clifford

Senior Alyssa More scored the winning goal for the fifth-ranked Brewers against RIT in the League final. The Brewers begin NCAA tournament play this weekend in Vermont.

quickly passed the ball to More, who slotted it home past the Rochester goalie and charging defense.

The fact that this goal came off a corner was especially meaningful to the team, as head coach Michael Warari had stressed prior to the game that Vassar needed to focus on corners on both sides of the ball.

On the defensive end, Vassar faced six corners and did not allow a single goal, a testament to the outstanding play of their defenders and junior goalkeeper Liz Rotolo. Rotolo was credited with three saves on the day, as Rochester fired off 11 shots, seven on target.

Palma praised the performance of Rotolo and the whole backline: “Our defense was spectacular,” she raved. “We had a few defensive corners which you never like to give up, but they did an amazing job ...

[Rotolo] kept us in the game, and without them, I don’t think we could have won.”

A happy Warari said of the victory, “[I] couldn’t be prouder. The team played extremely well; they were resilient; they worked hard and never gave up and as a coach you can’t ask for anything more than that. Yeah, [I’m] extremely proud.”

This victory and the Liberty League Championship guaranteed the Brewers a berth in the upcoming NCAA Division III tournament. The team, which was ranked sixth in the country even before their win over the ninth-ranked Yellowjackets, has

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

also earned a bye into the second round of the competition. While this tournament is a chance for the Brewers to continue achieving unprecedented results for the program, both coach and players stressed that they don’t want to get caught up in the importance of the game and will approach it like any other.

“We’re gonna try not to focus so much on the magnitude that it’s the NCAAs. We’re gonna continue the same mindset we’ve had all season,” Warari insisted.

“Just one game at a time, be true to the game...prepare really hard, show up mentally ready and focus on each and every possession and do our best.”

Vassar’s first match in the tournament will be against the winner of the firstround match between The College of New Jersey—ranked seventh in the NCAA, two spots behind of Vassar—and Keystone College. The game will take place this Saturday, Nov. 10, at Middlebury College in Vermont.

Although any opponent they face in the NCAA tournament will be a tough out, the Brewers are confident in themselves and their teammates, and their record over the course of the season suggests they are poised to continue achieving program firsts. “If we just keep doing [what we’ve been doing] and keep the focus and intensity up, then the next team should be easy to us,” Palma declared.

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November 8, 2018

Athlete Spotlight: Dahlia Chroscinski of women’s soccer Class year: 2019 Where do you call home?

Hershey, PA. So do you know Christian Pulisic?

Yes, I went to high school with him. I could text him right now. His sister was in my grade. I went to her birthday parties. His dad was my club coach.

What’s your major/correlate?

Hispanic Studies and Russian Studies double major.

What else do you do on campus?

I’m a member of ViCE Weekly and a Spud Cannon groupie. Wait, what else do I do? Hispanic Studies Intern, Intramurals—I’m trying to make myself sound more well-rounded.

Who was your favorite athlete growing up?

Allen Iverson. That’s why my number was always three growing up. I always loved the Sixers, and he was really good. Then I started liking him less when I found out he didn’t go

to practice.

What’s your favorite building on campus, and why?

Skinner! I like the little Harry Potter–esque library. It’s very cozy. I like practicing piano in the little practice rooms. And I like to visit my friend Evan Stark in Skinner, as he plays the drums.

What’s your best Deece hack?

GRANOLA ON EVERYTHING! If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, which would you pick?

Lima beans. I just really like beans and green things, and that’s the intersection of those things.

Who’s your celebrity crush?

Colin Firth. Oooooo Mr. Darcy.

What’s been your most listened to artist or album in the last couple weeks?

Radiator Hospital. I highly recommend.

They’re going to be big. Their music’s hard in the best kind of way.

Who’s one person from history you’d

like to have dinner with, and why?

Jane Goodall, because I’ve watched a lot of nature documentaries with her. She’s British, so I’d be privy to her accent. And I’m really fascinated by apes and gorillas because they’re so similar to us. When I was young I’d spend hours sitting in front of the ape exhibits at zoos.

What’s one thing about you people would be surprised to know?

I’m vegan.

When and why did you start playing soccer?

I started playing when I was probably six.

I was a young Dillyweed. Just because my mom coached and was very involved with youth soccer in my town, so she said “You’re going to play and be athletic.” So it was a family inheritance. So you could say I’m the Christian Pulisic of Hershey, PA. Why Vassar?

The OG Deece omelette station (when I wasn’t vegan).

What’s been your favorite memory

from playing soccer at Vassar?

Beating William Smith. That was hype.

What have been the keys to your team’s success so far?

Love. Love for the sport and for one another.

What’s your outlook going into NCAA tournament?

I’m just super hyped and optimistic. I guess I’m just going into it with the mentality of “we’re the underdogs, we have nothing to lose. So let’s just go in and fuck shit up.”

I’m happy my career isn’t over.

What do you like most about the being a student-athlete at VC? Having the camaraderie of a team. Being able to be part of a team. The social lubricant-cy of team sports.

What will you miss most about VC? The Mug. What’s one piece of advice for first years?

Take Intensive Russian with Charles Arndt III. The platonic love of my life.

Courtesy of Dahlia Chroscinski

Courtesy of Dahlia Chroscinski

Men’s Soccer

Women’s Volleyball

Vassar College 2, Hobart College 4

Vassar College 2, RIT 3

October 30, 2018

November 2, 2018

Vassar College #

Player

Hobart College

S H SOG G A

#

Player

Vassar College

S H SOG G A

#

Player

RIT

K

A

DIG

#

Player

K

A

DIG

1

Marment

0

0

0

0

1

Kaminer

0

0

0

0

1

Schreeder

1

1

8

3

Higgins

1 0

0

9

2

Bow

0

0

0

0

4

Harper

1

1

0

0

2

Ninkovich

7

2

14

5

Hobler

2 8

1

26

3

Gilmore

0

0

0

0

5

Roberts

1

0

0

0

4

MacMillan

3

51

5

7

Waters

1 1

0

1

6

Goldsmith

1

0

0

0

7

Emmanuel

1

1

1

0

7

Gallagher

22

2

13

13

Daly

0

2

10

7

Stansell

2

1

0

0

10

Farman

0

0

0

0

11

Kerbs

6

0

0

16

Doheny

8

0

3

8

Olsson

0

0

0

0

16

Wigglesworth

1

0

0

0

15

McLeod

13

0

14

18

Parkinson

4

55

16

12

Yeaney

0

0

0

0

19

Martini

2

1

1

0

6

Ehnstrom

11

1

4

1

Taylor

9

1

8

15

Kissel

1

1

0

0

21

Critchlow

3

1

1

0

10

Zucchero

0

2

27

2

Simonetti

0

6

1 3

18

Heitmann

0

0

0

0

24

Patrick

1

1

0

0

4

Vogl

0

0

1

21

Lukasik

0

0

0

0

25

Weisbein

1

0

0

0

6

Walker

0

0

6

22

Mrlik

5

3

1

0

30

Fell

1

0

0

0

10

6

2

0

Totals.......

70

65

93

Totals.......

Goalie Marment

Minutes 90:00

18

Totals.......

8

4

1

GA

Saves

Goalie

Minutes

GA

Saves

4

3

Kaminer

90:00

2

4

Set:

Totals.......

6

1

2

3

4

5

18

20

25

25

19

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

59

85

Set:

1

2

3

4

5

25

25

20

20

21