Volume CXLVI, Issue 18

The Miscellany News

Volume CXLVI | Issue 18

April 4, 2013

Since 1866 | miscellanynews.com

Vassar College Poughkeepsie, NY

ACTING PRES. CHENETTE VC squirrel population DECLARES MARTIAL LAW on-edge after deer cull Mike Memaybe FEAturEs Editor

C

Comrade Jones/The Miscellany News

Glorious Permanent Leader and Hero to our People Jonathan Chenette takes a moment to appreciate the beautiful weather on the quad just after ordering the capture and imprisonment of ex-President Catherine “Cappy” Bond Hill.

Michelle Amy Nooze Editor-in-CHiEF

V

owing to crush all those who oppose his friendly, community-oriented reign, Acting President Jon Chenette declared martial law on Vassar College last Monday. Immediately after holding open office hours, Chenette donned a military helmet and drove across the residential quad in a tank, shouting “Hear ye, hear ye! Ye olde martial law is now in effect!” from a megaphone. Just before stopping and engaging in conversation with students on how he could improve Vassar as both a center of learning and as

their home, Chenette ordered the launch of several dozen fighter jets into the sky to secure the campus’ perimeter from “traitors fleeing to safety behind Bard’s borders.”

Justifying his sudden decision to command Vassar via military rule, Chenette, in a written statement delivered by blood-drenched warrior falcon, claimed that “This entire endeavor is an attempt to keep Vassar up-to-speed with its competitors in the liberal arts realm. Presidents at Wesleyan, Middlebury—heck, even Williams!—declared martial law on their campuses YEARS ago, and their Princeton Review rankings

have never been higher.”

When asked in an interview with The Miscellany how he expected Vassar’s new military dictatorship to affect day-today life, Chenette, after sipping decaf tea from a skull-shaped mug perched on the armrest of his glorious platinum throne, replied “On the whole, Vassar students shouldn’t see much change in their lives, except for some casual mandatory armed service and six-mile morning jogs. But on the bright side, Deece meals are being replaced with military emergency rations, so it’s not all bad.”

See NO HOPE on page 178

limbing up trees, jumping out of trash cans, and willingly eating the food from the All Campus Dining Center—the squirrels of Vassar College have always been a rambunctious lot. But in the months following the events of deer cull, culminating for students and members of the Poughkeepsie community in the months of November through January, these bushy-tailed nut lovers have sought out a safe space on campus to protect their lives and their legacy.

In the weeks leading up to spring break, Noyes House residents have noted several squirrel sightings in the

dormitory’s MPR. While students originally thought only one squirrel haunted the curved building, Noyes resident Nate Churfreek ‘14 discovered that there are actually a “butt-load” of them hiding in the basement hallway adjacent to the MPR, an oddity for these loners of the rodent family.

Churfreek, who majors in Squirrel/ la Studies, has communicated with the beady-eyed Vassar natives and reported, “They’re still mourning the loss of all them deer. They’ve come to the conclusion that it’s either them or the womp womps who are the next to go.

So they’re hiding out in Noyes and See NUTS4NUTS on page 303

Streep sold to Marist for modest pile of cash “It was a tough call, but, hey, we still have Lisa Kudrow,” says Board.

Fey Enytheeng rEportEr

A

s concern over Vassar’s increasingly unsustainable financial situation continues to climb, the Board of Trustees has finally launched phase one of a year-long recovery program.

Titled “Last Ditch Effort #9,” the program began in earnest last Saturday when actress and alumna Meryl Streep ‘71 was sold to Marist College.

“Meryl is a terrific actress and a dear friend,” said Board Chairman William Plapinger ’74, quickly adding

“But Marist offered us a lot of money.

I mean, like, a LOT of money. New Science Centers don’t just grow on trees.

Godspeed, Meryl.”

When asked for a statement, Streep replied, “Wait, what?” before being captured in a human-sized butterfly net and dragged into a Vassar shuttle.

Representatives of the Board of Trustees are also expected to strike a deal with the Walt Disney Corporation on “Womp-Womp” merchandising rights this May. See BARGAINING CHIP on page 9¾

ViCE under flak for VC football wins 5th NCAA title spring concert pick Band with unpronounceable name furious they weren’t chosen O. Chris Mastree Arts Editor

anderlust Hoaighkertoofingtonsplatz, the renowned indie-punk-soul-folk-techno band from Jacksonville, Florida, sent a heated letter to Vassar College Entertainment (ViCE) this past Tuesday demanding an explanation for not being chosen as the Spring Concert headliner. “I don’t understand, we did EVERYTHING right,” said band leader and lead bagpipes player Ashley Kraken in an interview with The Miscellany.

“Our lyrics are incomprehensible and probably metaphorical. Our drummer wears a Nixon mask. We dress in all flannel—heck, we even button our shirts all the way to the top! What more do you want, Vassar?”

When told that this year’s Spring Concert would be headlined by the band Titus Andronicus, Hanz Glitter, the band’s lead vocalist and rhythm kazooist, replied, “How is that possible? People…people actually LIKE

Inside this issue

63

FEATURES

Misc adopts ¢10 per typo policy, goes bankrupt

Nean Kat/The Miscellany News

W

them…” “It’s sad when this sorta thing happens,” Kraken added, consoling the crying Glitter. “When the entire campus just spits in the face of its history and goes ahead and brings in a relatively popular indie band, you may as well just piss in the grave of Matthew Vassar. Kids these days…”

Wanderlust Hoaighkertoofingtonsplatz is best known for their self-produced 2009 debut album, Four Crabs and a Bucket of Melancholy, as well as their singles “Baby, It’s Only Noon but I’m Pretty Freakin’ Tired So I’m Gonna Take a Nap” (2010), “Eternal Super Mario Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” (2011), and “My Only Friend is a Bee and He Keeps Stinging My Face While I’m Asleep: An Allegory of THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION” (2012).

The band’s primary songwriter, vacuum-cleaner player Hannah Farnz, is considered a pioneer of music that doesn’t rely on melody, harmony, and, occasionally, instruments See KAZOO SOLO on page A14

The Brewers huddle to discuss gameplay strategy before the final push against the Missouri Western State University Griffons in the final quarter, eager to put both schools’ decades-long rivalry to an end once and for all on the football field.

Anne Thupink sports Editor

T

he Brewers have done it again.

In a fantastic show of courage and strength, Vassar’s football team clinched the NCAA Championship title for the fifth consecutive year after going undefeated in the season. The team is VC’s only Division II Varsity sport and has also earned the Liberty League accolade “Most Ironic Athletic Team” for the third straight year.

The championship game was well

-9

OPINIONS

Staff Editorial: Why cherry is the best flavor of Starburst

attended by Vassar students and Poughkeepsie residents alike. “I was so excited to see Vassar win again,” said Oshkosh Bagosh ’14. “The Brewers played a strong game and had a lot of great offensive plays. Also, it was cool of them to DJ the halftime show with all their indie rock vinyls.” Poughkeepsie resident and life-long Vassar athletics fan Osborn Scrape was equally happy with the game, claiming “It’s just so rare nowadays to see a school with as much athletic pride as good ol’

51 NEWS

VC.” Scrape then ripped off his shirt, revealing a Brewers torso tattoo, and started screaming “VC! VC!” for forty minutes until his family came to take him home.

When asked what he attributed to the Brewers incredible success over the past five years, Head Coach Arnold Polymer replied “Well, I have to give credit to the boys themselves. They really have the drive to win. In fact, I’m not quite sure how we win each year.”

See BUDDY HOLLY on page 8.7

Uh oh, no one has heard from the JYA kids in a while

Page 2

Ha

! a ha h

The Miscellany News

April Fool’s!

Front page by Jean-Luc Bouchard, Chris Gonzalez, Meaghan Hughes, David Rosenkranz and Aja Saalfeld Coordinated and edited by Jean-Luc Bouchard

miscellanynews.com Blogs Multimedia Breaking News

April 4, 2013

Editor-in-Chief

David Rosenkranz

Contributing Editors Hannah Blume Rachael Borné Adam Buchsbaum Aashim Usgaonkar

News Bethan Johnson Features Chris Gonzalez Marie Solis Opinions Lane Kisonak Humor & Satire Jean-Luc Bouchard Arts Jack Owen Steven Williams Sports Meaghan Hughes Photography Katie de Heras Design Aja Saalfeld Online Alessandra Seiter Assistant News Noble Ingram Assistant Opinions Gabe Dunsmith Joshua Sherman Assistant Sports Chris Brown Assistant Photo Jacob Gorski Jiajing Sun Assistant Copy Farah Aziz Assistant Design Palak Patel Crossword Editor Jack Mullan Reporters Amreen Bhasin Charlacia Dent Anna Iovine Carrie Plover Eloy Bleifuss-Prados Columnists Zoe Dostal Luka Laden Zach Rippe Max Rook Jill Stein Juan Thompson Eli J. Vargas I Photography Cassady Bergevin Jonah Bleckner Spencer Davis Emily Lavieri-Scull Design Bethany Terry Online Victoria Bachurska Rachel Dorn Youngeun “Ellis” Kim Copy Sophia Gonsalves-Brown Jacob ParkerBurgard LETTERS POLICY The Miscellany News is Vassar College’s weekly open forum for discussion of campus, local and national issues, and welcomes letters and opinions submissions from all readers.

Letters to the Editor should not exceed 450 words, and they usually respond to a particular item or debate from the previous week’s issue. Opinions articles are longer pieces, up to 800 words, and take the form of a longer column. No letter or opinions article may be printed anonymously. If you are interested in contributing, e-mail misc@vassar.edu.

ADVERTISING POLICY The Miscellany News (1) reserves the right to reject or edit any advertising copy at any time; (2) will not accept advertisements that promote discrimination on the basis of race, creed, color, sex or sexual orientation, nor will it accept advertisements of a political nature or advertisements that promote products or services illegal in the State of New York: (3) will print every advertisement with the word “advertisement” above it; (4) shall not be liable for failure to print, publish or circulate all or any portion of any issue if such a failure is the result of circumstances beyond the paper’s control.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

April 4, 2013

NEWS

VSA considers athlete leadership training, sexual abuse charge, social awareness req.

Noble Ingram

Assistant News Editor

O

n Sunday, VSA Council meeting dealt with a slew of new resolutions. Each was concerned with a specific social or relational issue on campus and all three were discussed seriously before being decided upon.

The first resolution that came up before Council was titled, ‘A Resolution Concerning a Relationship Abuse Charge.’ The resolution focuses on specific forms of relationship abuse that are not sufficiently addressed in the student handbook. As 2016 Class President Max Moran, and the resolution’s principal author, explained, “My understanding is that there’s a huge discrepancy with what we consider sexual misconduct in terms of how we report it in the student handbook.”

He continued, “Elizabeth Shrock [the Sexual Assault Violence Prevention Coordinator] came to our Student Life Committee meeting and said it was an issue that needed to be fixed and she thought that it would be easier to be fixed if it had the backing of the VSA because the VSA is a representation of the student body.”

After brief discussion, Council opted to table the resolution to allow for more time for discussion and to allow council to speak with their constituents. According to Moran, the delay was expected.“Nine out of ten times, the VSA will always table a resolution when it’s first proposed. It is tabled so that people on council have time to discuss it with their house teams,” explained Moran.

Despite the tabling, many are confident the resolution will ultimately be a success. As Moran stated, “I predict that it will pass.”

The next resolution to come to the floor of Sunday’s council meeting came from the Committee for Academics and was titled, ‘A Resolution Concerning Coursework in Social Awareness.’ The resolution supported an

academic requirement for the integration of the study of systems of oppression and social awareness within a student’s major. It was proposed to Council by Faren Tang ’13.

As Tang explained, “The proposed requirement for coursework in social awareness is part of a multi-pronged approach that we are making towards making campus more inclusive. It’s also part of an effort to fulfill Vassar’s stated mission of trying to educate the whole person.”

Tang stressed the importance of dialogues between students surrounding issues of social awareness. “We see that taking place in a couple of ways. Part of it is that we hope to have all Vassar students able to engage with each other in respectful debate and engaged citizenship by having common vocabulary and a basic analytical framework to understand issues of oppression and hierarchy.”

Tang continued by making a clear distinction between this resolution’s proposed course requirement and the college’s other course requirements. “We wanted to make this course requirement part of every individual’s major requirement as opposed to a blanket checkbox like the QA. We want this course requirement to be meaningful and to be relevant to everybody’s course of study because it is relevant to everybody’s course of study. There is no discipline where these issues don’t come up at all.”

The Council sent the resolution to the Committee for Academics for further development.

The third resolution was titled ‘A Resolution Concerning Training for Athletic Leaders.’ The resolution was brought forth by Class of 2013 President Vincent Marchetta.

It proposes a training program for leaders in athletics who often offer guidance to younger team members. As Marchetta argues, the resolution impacts a group on campus that

is not often considered. “Basically it comes from the idea that athletic teams on campus represent specific spaces that don’t particularly get the same attention that a lot of other spaces on campus get, but also that they have very different experiences,” Marchetta noted.

As captain and president of the men’s rowing team, Marchetta noticed times when he would have utilized leadership training. After discussing this with the president of the women’s rowing team, he discovered that this was felt by others as well.

He explained, “We both had moments where we said, ‘It would be really great if I knew how to do this and handle this certain situation before it came about.’ And I knew some of this stuff because I had been a student fellow and in that thinking, I was like, ‘It just makes sense to have that kind of training for athletic leaders.’ Mostly just so that they can handle those types of situations, so that they are more inclined to behave in a way that sets an example for their teams.”

Marchetta specifically expressed concern for freshmen who are most impacted by strong leadership in their transition to Vassar. “I know for a lot of...freshmen who are recruited to fall sports, they get here before their fellow groups, typically, and they spend most of orientation with their teams. So it’s even just making sure that the type of things that are covered in orientation, those freshmen still have.”

The VSA ultimately passed this resolution.

As Marchetta explains, the VSA’s active support of athletes on campus is of real significance. “I thought it would be important especially if we worked with a bunch of different administrative offices, to have the student support behind us and for our student government to recognize the fact that athletes do have a specific need on this campus is a really big deal.”

‘Campus Climate’ presents six demands to empower marginalized communities Rachael Bornè

Contributing Editor

O

ver a month has passed since the mass counter-protest of Vassar students, community members, alumnae/i, administrators and staff in response to the Westboro Baptist Church’s outward statement of hatred and intolerance. With such a massive surge of introspection and solidarity within the Vassar community in anticipation of the picket, many students have been left wondering, ‘What’s next?’

Campus Climate is a coalition of students from various identity based ALANA and LBGTQ affiliated organizations as well as activist groups. Originally assembled in reaction to instances of racist and sexist hate speech that occurred last semester, the group is now working to answer that question. This Thursday evening, April 4, at 7:00 pm in Rocky 200, Campus Climate will host an open forum entitled, ‘Rise Up: 6 Demands You may Have Missed While You Were Busy Rallying.’

Organizers hope the event will help create a safe and open space in which students can brainstorm ways to enact structural changes within the Vassar community. In the zine “VC Has Been Doing Something!” published on the eve of the WBC picket, Campus Climate presented a list of these initiatives and demands alongside student artwork and counter-narratives. The zine was published to critique what Campus Climate saw as sensationalized and the largely white, male-led responses to hate speech that followed the announcement of WBC’s visit to Vassar.

The forum is meant to propel the group’s demands into action. “We want to use this event as a platform for students to address their feelings about the demands, express concerns or learn more about the group,” explained Yaneé Ferrari ’15, a member of the Campus Climate committee. By focusing on structural shifts, Campus Climate hopes their

action-based campaign will be more effective than dialogue alone in fostering an inclusive, equitable, and empowering campus space.

“To make those broad goals happen, we need to think about specific, institutional devices we can realistically change,” said Sarah Slichter ’15, another organizer for the event.

The six demands range from institutional to academic to infrastructural, and as the Campus Climate mission statement explains, aim to foster a space where all historically marginalized populations can expect safety, find support and become agents of meaningful change on campus.

First on the list of demands is the restructuring of campus life offices, including the creation of a class issues center for students of lower socioeconomic classes as well as the creation of a disability cultural center with full directorship positions for all campus life administrators. Campus Climate also asks that these centers occupy central, visible and easily accessible locations.

The second demand is for a social consciousness curricular requirement in addition to more emphasis on social consciousness programming during the First-Year activities. This would entail the distribution of a glossary of social justice-related terms to new students, follow-up workshops in the First-Year Program, and bystander intervention training.

The third demand addresses the cost prohibitive nature of VSA Executive Board positions. Campus Climate proposes that stipends be available for students on financial aid to pursue VSA leadership, as work study responsibilities greatly hinder a student’s ability to serve on Council. The demand also suggests a review of representation on the VSA to appraise how accurately, effectively and successfully the student government represents students from marginalized groups.

Fourthly, Campus Climate demands more

open conversations with the Office of Admissions through a town hall meeting as well as a review and consideration of gender and race biases in marketing and advertising materials.

The fifth demand calls for an expansion of counseling services and the hiring of at least one more counselor or psychiatrist position, allowing for continued services for students with financial aid.

Finally, the Campus Climate group demands that all buildings on Vassar Campus have gender-neutral bathrooms.

The aforementioned demands represent what Slichter describes as a ‘renaissance’ at Vassar, as they are all emblematic of a pivotal moment when students can enact structural change. “These six demands basically came out of a longer list of grievances and changes compiled to address negative aspects of Vassar life. We chose these to sit at the forefront, as they, we agreed, were the most pressing,” explained Ferrari.

Vassar is often hailed as an institution of acceptance and open-mindedness, however, Campus Climate argues that this notion represents just one perspective and is working to privilege the perspectives and needs of students who do not feel agency in the Vassar Community.

According to the Campus Climate mission statement: “For many of us, Vassar has been a disempowering and unsafe space. Both the de facto and de jure institutional, social, and punitive codes of the College re-inscribe oppression within our campus culture and are detrimental to effective and affectionate communication and community building.”

The open forum will give students an opportunity to dive into these issues head-on, discuss the impetus for the group’s creation, and consider ways systematic and institutional changes might make way for tangible, positive shifts in the campus climate.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Page 3

News Briefs Arizona Approves New Version of “Bathroom Bill”

On March 27, the Arizona House Appropriations Committee approved a version of an anti-transgender “bathroom bill,” technically SB 1045, after voiding parts of the original proposal. Representative John Kavanagh introduced the original bill in response to a locally-passed anti-discrimination measure in Phoenix. That bill prevented businesses from prohibiting transgendered individuals from using public bathrooms. Kavanagh argues this would expose children to “naked men in women’s locker rooms and showers,” (The Huffington Post,“Arizona Transgender Bathroom Bill Reconsidered By Lawmakers,” 3.27.13).

If it had passed, Kavanagh’s initial proposal would have made it a crime for anyone to use the bathroom of a gender not on their birth certificate. This would be considered a class one misdemeanor, punishable by up to six months in prison (Arizona Daily Star, “Arizona panel says no liability for bathroom refusal,” 3.28.13).

Amid national backlash, Kavanagh altered the bill to focus on businesses. The new version protects businesses that ban people from using bathrooms that do not match their birth sex. Establishments would not be under criminal liability when they enforce this ban.

The Huffington Post explained that this new version would also create a state law prohibiting local governments from passing regulations that allow public access to “privacy areas” based on gender identity or expression (“Why Arizona’s Bathroom Bill Is Unconstitutional,” 3.28.13).

200 protestors sat in on the seven hour-long hearing for the revised bill. After hours of testimony by both trans- and cis-gendered people, the Committee passed the new proposal with a 7-4 vote as protestors chanted “shame, shame, shame.”(Washington Post, “Amid national outcry, Arizona House panel passes softened anti-transgender bathroom bill,” 3.28.13) The constitutionality of the bill is already under scrutiny. Its language contradicts Supreme Court rulings in several cases, notably Glenn v. Brumby, which officially extended the Equal Protection Clause to include transgendered people; and Hopkins v. Price Waterhouse, which ruled that one could not discriminate against those who do not adhere to gender stereotypes.

—Anna Iovine, Reporter UN General Assembly Approves Arms Trade Treaty On Tuesday, the United Nations General Assembly approved the Arms Trade Treaty, a resolution that attempts to regulate the $60 billion international trade of what the UN defines as ‘conventional weapons.’ Before the treaty can take effect, however, fifty nations must ratify it.

“This is an historic day and a major achievement for the United Nations,” said British Foreign Secretary William Hague. (The Washington Post, “UN adopts landmark treaty to regulate multibillion-dollar global arms trade,” 4.2.13) Australian Ambassador Peter Woolcott echoes Hague’s enthusiasm, stating the treaty will “make an important difference by reducing human suffering and saving lives.”

According to the treaty, conventional weapons include battle tanks, combat vehicles, combat aircrafts, warships, and small arms (The Boston Globe, “U.N. adopts treaty to regulate global arms trade,” 4.2.13). Should it be ratified, involved states are required to independently create and enforce national regulations to curb weapons transfers. This resolution, the first treaty aimed at regulating global arms trade, does not control how nations handle domestic use of weapons.

The treaty calls attention to the relationship between human rights violations and the international arms trade. The treaty mandates creating criteria that link exporters of weapons to human-rights records in an effort to avoid terrorism and human rights abuses. (The New York Times, “U.N. Treaty Aims to Limit Arms Exports for Rights Abusers,” 4.2.13).

The General Assembly voted 154-3 in favor of the treaty with 23 abstentions. Iran, Syria, and North Korea voted again the resolution, calling the treaty unfair. Among those abstaining were Russia and China, two of the world’s major exporters of weapons. The United States, the world’s biggest arms exporter, voted in favor of the treaty, although speculation remains as to wheter the Senate will ratify the treaty. (The New York Times).

—Anna Iovine, Reporter

NEWS

Page 4

April 4, 2013

MICA lecture examines societal gains from fossil fuels Bethan Johnson nEws Editor

O

Emily Lavieri-Scull/The Miscellany News

n Friday March 29, the Moderate, Independent, Conservative, Alliance (MICA) sponsored a lecture entitled “Fossil Fuels Improve the Planet” by the president of the Center for Industrial Progress (CIP) Alex Epstein. The lecture discussed how fossil fuels improve people’s quality of life and should not be abandoned. Epstein acts as both president and founder of CIP, a for-profit think-tank dealing with energy issues.

The Wall Street Journal and Forbes have featured articles by Epstein, and he has published 10 books.

MICA began organizing the event in February, as the Vassar College Fossil Fuel Divestment Campaign struggled to get their divestment proposal noticed by the Board of Trustees and the Vassar Student Association (VSA). According to Julian Hassan ’14, an organizer and contact person for the event, MICA hoped to challenge the prevalent narrative about divestment. “You would only be able to do JYA via Skype, and you wouldn’t be able to attend Vassar if you lived far away,” Hassan wrote in an emailed statement, “Presumably, all classes would be over Skype, too, if you even had time for class after a back-breaking day at the farm in order to feed your family.

Most Vassarions would hate this, and this is what is meant by Vassar Loves Fossil Fuels.”

Central to Epstein’s lecture was fossil fuels’ improvement of human life. He specifically noted the necessity of fossil fuels in transporting food. He stated that, along with the controversial policy of genetically engineering crops, fossil fuels have largely solved world hunger because the average person is better fed than in previous years.

Epstein explained, “If it turns out that we start getting rid of oil and there is not something as good, that means people will starve, that means people will die. And if we make the mistake of

Martin Man ’16, above, reads aloud a statement in opposition to fossil fuels at the MICA lecture last Friday. The lecture was presented by Alex Epstein, the president of the Center for Insustrial Progress. getting involved in that, that means we are complicit.”

Almost halfway through the lecture an audience member stood up and read the following: “We at Vassar believe that it is important to understand that though we may benefit from fossil fuels, we must hold ourselves, the industry, and the government responsible for the destruction, intimidation, and injustices of fossil fuel usage across the world. The divestment debate is not about whether we enjoy the benefits of fossil fuels, but rather that we understand the real, human and environmental costs of continuing to support a corrupt, poisonous, and exploitative unsustainable systems.”

The speaker continued, “Alex Epstein has no standards as a climate or energy researcher.

In fact the Center for Industrial Progress is a

ADVERTISEMENT

for-profit group that releases none of its donor information. By his own confession he takes money from corporate and industrial interests.”

Roughly one-third of attendees followed the Divestment Campaign to Josselyn House.

Following the interruption, the lecture discussed the history of energy sources. Epstein noted that ethanol and electricity (through batteries), alongside fossil fuels, were considered the forerunners of energy policies in the early 20th century, but both failed to dominate the energy market due to structural issues. Manufacturers found that batteries were too heavy for common usage while ethanol failed to produce ample power for cost in comparison to fossil fuels. Epstein told the audience that similar problems still plague these technologies, making fossil fuel the best energy option.

Epstein’s historical discussion also highlighted the three forms of what Epstein considered, the cheapest and highest-quality producers of electricity: fossil fuels, nuclear and hydroelectric energy. The speaker said that these energies are advanced enough to use, and that, despite working with fossil fuels, he supports the safe use of any of these energies.

The lecture also challenged the supposition that fossil fuels have direly negative impacts.

Epstein said, “What struck me is that we used dramatically more fossil fuels in the 20th century…and yet these metrics [GDP per capita, life expectancy, CO2 emissions] kept getting better and better.” Citing graphs published in Cato Policy Analysis, Epstein argued the quality of life has drastically improved from burning fossil fuels.

Acknowledging the byproducts of the Greenhouse Effect, Epstein argued that the benefits of using fossil fuels negate damages from the Greenhouse Effect. He argued that limiting the usage of fossil fuels would leave humans in greater danger of harm from the environment.

Epstein admitted that he does not believe that fossil fuel is intrinsically better than other form of energy, but that our advanced understanding this form of energy makes it the best option for the foreseeable future. Epstein explained, “[When] I say I love fossil fuels, that’s only in a sense of I love energy and that this is providing the positives [for human life].”

Though the lecture has ended, the divestment debate will continues at Vassar. While the Divestment Campaign’s proposal is being considered for the June Board of Trustees meeting agenda, MICA plans to continue such events in support of fossil fuel use, “MICA is planning similar events in the near future. Because of the fact that the student divestment campaign and Occupy Wall Street have joined forces, conservatives need to unite the anti-divestment campaign with a free market revolution.”

VSA veterans talk tactics with potential candidates Emily Hoffman guEst rEportEr

I

n preparation for the Vassar Student Association (VSA) elections later in April, the VSA held a “Campaigning Training” meeting this Saturday sponsored by the Women’s Center. The meeting was run by Women’s Center intern, Maddie Taterka, and featured five panelists who held various positions in the past and talked about their experiences campaigning. After the panel discussion, a short workshop took place that allowed students to begin thinking about their campaign and practice talking to each other about their platforms.

Vice President for Operations Deb Steinberg ’14, who oversees the College’s committee system, initially thought of the idea for a campaigning meeting and brought it to the attention of Assistant Director of Student Life/ LGBTQ and Gender Resource Judy Jarvis, the event’s contact person, and the Women’s Center. Both Steinberg and Taterka agreed that one of the goals of the meeting was to make students feel more comfortable about campaigning, as well as to help them start to build their platform and campaign strategy. Students asked questions pertaining to past campaigning strategies and panelists discussed challenges the candidates might confront.

The panelists included a wide range of students from different classes and past positions: Kate Dolson ’13, who was a Ferry representative and then served as VP for Academics last year; Deb Steinberg ’14 who was Noyes House President last year and is now on the Executive board; Benedict Nguyen ’15, last year’s 2015 class president and current Cushing House President; and Josh Tempro ’16, a joint committee representative.

Taterka explained, “I know that personally, I didn’t run for any sort of elected position in my freshman year, and a major reason for that was because I was overwhelmed and intimidated by the idea of creating an entire campaign, and I had no idea where to begin.”

She continued, “When I became an intern at the Women’s Center, it was a priority for me to make the Center a place that would foster

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

leadership and confidence in the community of Vassar women, so this seemed like a really great event to take on.”

Part of the Women’s Center’s mission is to empower female-identified students at Vassar and to strive to be a hub for leadership on campus. The staff of the Women’s Center hoped that this event would give potential candidates more confidence, and would encourage greater student participation in leadership positions.

“Running for Class of 2015 President last year, I mostly campaigned in the houses door to door. In addition to helping me feel better prepared to represent our class in my work, it was a great opportunity and excuse to get out of my comfort zone a little and meet lots of people” said Nguyen.

A mandatory candidate’s meeting will take place on April 5 at 5 p.m., right after the filing period which ends at noon. The meeting will be led by Board of Elections Chair’s Devin Griffin ’13 and Clayton Masterman ’13. They will articulate the VSA’s policies regarding the campaigning processs, including rules on budget limitations for each position and poster limitations.

Facebook events are allowed as well as door-to-door campaigning, which is strongly encouraged. Campaigning will be permitted as soon as the meeting concludes.

The voting process begins on April 15 and ends on April 17; students will elect next year’s council anonymously through the internet.

Statements by each candidate can be found on the VSA website, along with the application notice. Applying entails filling out a personal information questionnaire and submitting a statement of interest.

So far many students have filed for the 20132014 VSA positions including Deb Steinberg for VSA President, Dallas Robinson for VSA VP for Student Life, Alison Ehrlich for VSA VP for Operations, Stephanie Goldberg for VSA VP for Activities, and Mike Kaluzny for VSA VP for Finance. However, there are still uncontested elections for a posiiton on the Executive Board, as well as house presidents, and other commmittes.

April 4, 2013

FEATURES

Page 5

Owen King ’99 adds to family legacy with ‘Double Feature’ Marie Solis

FEAturEs Editor

W

courtesy of Bob Minzesheimer

hen choosing a career path, our last name is not usually something we take into consideration. We write it on exams, put it on job applications and never give it a second thought. However, when he chose to become a writer, Owen King ’99—son of author Stephen King—was perhaps more conscious of his surname than the average person. Nonetheless, King is not just an apple who fell close to his family tree. He has asserted himself into the literary world first with short stories, and most recently with his first novel “Double Feature” (Scribner).

If you crack open King’s “Double Feature,” as a Vassar student, this line might sound especially familiar: “The script was for a film called ‘Who We Are’ a drama set at Russell College, a small liberal arts school in northern New York.” Though this particular liberal arts school is fictional, when King wrote about his main character Sam Dolan’s experience there, he was reflecting on his own time at Vassar.

“My novel, ‘Double Feature,’ takes place partly on the campus of a fictional liberal arts college, so it’s definitely informed to some degree by my experience at Vassar. Not really Vassar as a place, though, but more how I recall feeling when I was at Vassar—ambitious, crazy, sad, horny, amazed, blissed out, and above all else, baffled,” wrote King in an emailed statement, evoking some sentiments with which many students can surely still sympathize.

Of his experiences at Vassar, King further recounted, “Well, I fell in love a couple of times at Vassar, and that was great/agony. I remember a lot of late nights at the library. I remember a lot of late nights at the Dutch Cabin, which is called something else now. I remember getting a shitload of parking tickets…When I think of Vassar I just think of all my friends, most of whom have stuck.”

Not having graduated too long ago, King is still keen on typical Vassar traditions.

He asked, “Do they still do the thing during spring exams where people go streaking? I didn’t do that.”

Though being naked wasn’t one of King’s extracurricular activities, he did spend time working for one of the College’s oldest organizations.

As an English major and an editor for The Miscellany News, King began his writing repertoire at Vassar—though he doesn’t necessarily see it that way. “I was the Opinions Editor and, later, the backpage editor. I suspect that posterity has not been kind to what I wrote at that time, but it was a fun experience and I got to know a lot of nice people. My most important article was about this mad man (or woman— the culprit was never apprehended) that was pooping in the showers in Main. I guess I’m sort of proud of that,” he said.

As far as his academic work at Vassar goes, King said he is grateful for his professors who gave him the confidence he needed as a “baffled” college student.

King said, “I’ll always owe a tremendous debt to Nancy Willard, Frank Bergon, Paul Russell, and Mark Amodio, who introduced me to so much wonderful literature and were charitable enough to take me seriously at a time in my life when I’m not entirely certain that I deserved to be taken seriously.”

King’s past professors continued to praise him, noting that the potential they once saw in King has certainly been realized.

“I remember Owen as a smart, exuberant, warm-hearted student; his undergraduate fiction brimmed with evidence of that rollicking, intense and generous imagination that blazes on every page of Double Feature,” said Professor of English Paul Russell.

He went on to note, “From the beginning he understood that stamina, discipline, focus and sheer soul hunger were just as important—and perhaps even more so—than raw talent alone,” adding,“And now he’s gone and turned himself into one of the most exciting writers of his gen-

Owen King ’99, pictured above, published his first novel Double Feature last month. Set partially on the campus of a liberal arts college, the text in part is inspired by King’s experience at Vassar. eration.”

Before Double Feature, King’s works included mostly short stories, including We’re All In This Together: A Novella and Stories (2005) and Who Can Save Us Now?: Brand-New Superheroes and Their Amazing (Short) Stories (2008). King said though he does not consider himself an author of any specific genre, his short stories do have some things in common with his newest work.

“The connection to my previous book is that they’re both comedic, or at least, attempt to be comedic, and both hopefully say something about the contemporary culture. The previous book was partly about political polarization.

This one is about what we find entertaining,” said King.

In “Double Feature,” Sam’s first film be-

comes something which might be construed as a failure, but is received as a cult hit, something Sam doesn’t necessarily want to be famous for.

“I feel like ‘Double Feature’ is my best work, that the characterizations are deeper and smarter, that it’s well-structured, but what else would I think, right?” King said, adding that he plans to continue writing novels.

Though as an alumnus, an adult and a successful writer King could potentially give his Vassar-self some sage advice, King suggested that he has more to learn from him than the other way around.

King concluded, “I don’t want to give that young guy any advice. I want him to reveal to me how he used to thump down in his office chair in the THs and knock out eight thousand word stories in two or three nights.”

Making it work: Vassar students’ long-distance relationships Chris Gonzalez FEAturEs Editor

W

hether it be the awkward hook-up culture or a lack of free time outside of work and classes, finding love on campus seems to be a constant struggle for some students. So, when they finally do stumble upon a good relationship and a situation where they are happy, the idea is to not let it go, even when distance between their college campuses becomes the greatest hurdle for them to overcome.

Long-distance relationships take a variety of shapes and forms, ranging from more temporary circumstances where one or both partners are abroad for the semester to ones that form between students who live at opposite ends of the country but attend the same college. And of course, one cannot forget about those who enter school already in an established, or somewhat established relationship.

For Penny Luksic ‘15 and her boyfriend, the decision to stay together at the start of their collegiate endeavors wasn’t their original intention.

“We were pretty explicit at the beginning of our relationship that we would break up before leaving for college; neither of us wanted to date long distance. However, when summer ended we realized that neither of us were done being together. We simply didn’t think we were finished spending time together and being happy,” she wrote in an emailed statement.

While her boyfriend now attends school in upstate New York, at the time he was located in Southern California, one of the greater issues they had to face.

She continued, “We thought a lot about the fact that this would be a literal trans-continental relationship and the fact that neither of us wanted to be ‘tied’ to someone from home. We contemplated our first semester being something like a break and reevaluating the relationship when we came home in winter, but decided that would have kept us just as emotionally tied to each other. In the end, we realized that we were happy together and weren’t done being happy.”

Others, like David Garfinkel ‘15 and his girl-

friend of about a year and a half, tried to take the break-up route, but eventually came to the conclusion that it wasn’t what they wanted.

He ultimately decided that being fully committed to someone he cared about, regardless of a few short hours of distance between Vassar and Yale, was more fulfilling than trying to find something else at Vassar.

Garfinkel said, “I’m not a big fan of the dating scene, and I didn’t really need or have a desire to engage in a string of random hook-ups that are usually void of any emotional connection at all. They have a tendency to end with way too much regret. And while I didn’t really think about whether or not I would regret the decision to enter something that requires as much work as a long-distance relationship at the time, I have no regrets so far.”

While Sam Short ‘16, who has been in his current relationship for around three years, expressed similar sentiments to both Garfinkel and Luksic as for why he didn’t want to end his relationship, he noted that some additional challenges have been added to his a freshman year as a result.

“I basically spend all of the extra money I have on visiting her. Also, it can be difficult scheduling visits around schoolwork and work study. It is nice to have some space now that we are at college, but it would be easier if we were closer,” Short stated, explaining that these visits occur about every two or three weeks and alternates between who visits whom.

When it comes to having her own space, Luksic agrees that though there are times when she misses her significant other, she it enjoys a bit of freedom.

She explained, “My social life is completely separate from my relationship, which allows me to have my own experiences and social relationships at school. It’s extremely important for me to have a life here that is based in my own social needs. I don’t have to think about having couple friends or friends we agree or navigating between groups. It’s very refreshing to feel like I have friends who don’t necessarily have to be friends with my significant other.”

While Short admitted that he feels more

comfortable going out when his girlfriend is with him, he still manages to have a social life.

He said, “I still have fun, just in safe ways. I try not to get in situations that could potentially harm our relationship. For example, drinking excessively, going to full-blown parties with lots of people I don’t know and making sure that all other relationships here at Vassar are platonic.”

Of course, the difficulties in maintaining a long-distance relationship, aside from the distance, is making sure to communicate and make time for the other person.

Luksic stated, “If I’m feeling insecure about the relationship for whatever reason, I’m not afraid to say it...If he’s upset with the way something is being worked out, it’s important that he tells me what he needs, because I’m not always thinking of him. We don’t need to always be thinking of each other, but being invested in each other means stepping back from whatever is making the other upset and figuring out how to solve it when it comes up.”

Garfinkel agreed that communication is more than just talking to your partner—it’s about reaching a common understanding.

He said, “Communication needs to happen if you want to stay aware of how each of you feel about the state of your relationship. In order for a long-distance relationship to work, it’s important that both of you are on the same page at all times. If I’m on one page and she’s on another, the foundations will crack. And once that happens both of you need to take a moment to ackowledge what’s wrong and figure out how to fix it.”

Amongst all of these issues that students in long-distance relationships deal with, they also come up against this common idea that, because they are in college, they should be open to meeting new people.

Luksic commented, “There’s a stigma that college is the time for relationship independence for the sake of meeting new people and having experiences that aren’t built to last. I think this is something that has developed from the old-fashioned idea that people had to find spouses in college. Coming to college was nev-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

er about meeting to people so that I could date them or hook up with them. Coming to college meant meeting new people that expanded my views or became lasting friends. Nothing about being in a relationship has stopped me from that.”

Short’s thoughts on the idea echoed Luksic’s and he explained that if someone commits to a long-distance relationship, they’re usually very serious about the commitment involved in maintaing it.

“If you are with someone who is important to you, and you both are happy in your relationship, and that relationship is quite stable, why would you throw something like that out?

Long-term and long-distance relationships in college aren’t for some people, and that’s totally fine; everyone has different emotional needs,” he explained.

Luksic went on to explain that she understands changes in relationships are always a possibility. The important thing for her is that she responds to them and thinks about what they mean for the state of her relationship.

“Of course, if I meet someone that makes me happier than my significant other in that way, then that tells me something about the relationship I’m in now. But I’m genuinely still happy and don’t see any reason to stop being involved in something that makes me happy.” she stated.

Some wonder if putting so much effort into a long-distance relationship leaves high expectations for the future, specifically whether the relationship will last after college.

Short noted that he is much more interested in the present. “I feel like it is good to try and focus on the here and now, and the immediate future. If you look too far into the future or plan too much, you just set yourself up for disappointment or failure.”

Overall, Garfinkel stressed that when it comes to relationships, as long as both parties are getting what they need, it doesn’t matter on the distance between the two. He said, “If the other person can make you happy from however many miles away, while still being able to be mentally present where you are, it works.”

FEATURES

Page 6

April 4, 2013

Muhammad: Lessons for life from a single day in Haiti racial equality I still far off Annie Massa

guEst Columnist

Carmen Reinicke guEst rEportEr

I

courtesy of Vassar Haiti Project

n the last 150 years since the Emancipation Proclamation, a lot has changed in the United States. However, as Dr. Khalil Muhammad emphasized in his lecture on March 28, race relations is an issue that may have evolved, but fundamentally persists in the United States.

Muhammad was brought to Vassar for this lecture by the joint forces of many people and societies in Dutchess County and on Vassar’s own campus. The history department’s C. Mildred Thompson lecture joined forces with the Office of the Dean of the Faculty, the programs in Africana Studies, Urban Studies, and American Culture, the political science department, and the Dutchess County Historical Society Black History Committee.

Many of the members of the Dutchess County Historical Society where in attendance, as well as many community members and Vassar college students and staff.

Before diving into the heavier discussion points, Muhammad told the audience he felt at home on Vassar’s campus. He explained that he accepted his first job in lieu of a position he had received at Marist College.“So, things could have been very different,” he said. Dr. Muhammad is the Director of the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture and The New York Public Library.

His studies focus on the racial politics of criminal law, policing, juvenile delinquency and punishment, as well as immigration and social reform. An economics major at the University of Pennsylvania, he began his speech by discussing a lot of numbers. The most important of thse was one which asserted that African Americans make up 12 percent of the population, but 30 percent of the nation’s prison population. This statistic implies that African Americans are in jail in larger percentages than any other race. Further, they will have more children out of wedlock in their community, and these children will grow up with a similar likelihood of facing incarceration.

This data, he said, may lead to the misconception that African Americans are simply “up to no good,” evoking racial stereotypes. After this discussion, he launched into a brief history lesson of slavery in the Deep South, the Jim Crow era and the Emancipation Proclamation.

He noted that during this time the number of African Americans in jail disproportional just as it is now. In fact, the number has not changed much since the Emancipation Proclamation— still, said Khalil, white people continue to exercise a lot of legal power to unfairly convict and incarcerate African Americans. The incarceration problem is only one example of the way in which African Americans are still facing the same racism that they were 150 years ago.

Muhammad brought up New York’s new police policy: the stop, question and frisk. He argued against it, saying that it is indeed racial profiling, that the reported numbers of how many lives it saves are flawed and that it is perpetuating the racism problem that exists in our country.

Much of Muhammad’s lecture came from his book, The Condemnation of Blackness: Race, Crime, and the Making of Modern Urban America, which won the American Studies Association John Hope Franklin Prize. The book deals with similar themes as his lecture and focused on reframing how we look at the negative statistics that we use to narrate the story of the ‘threat’ black people present to modern urban society. He posited that these statistics are misleading because we associate them with black people being ‘dangerous’ when in fact what is dangerous is the racism that black people still face in today’s society.

Muhammad quotes scholar Hans Van Hentig in his book, citing, “When, as it is in our case, minorities are the subject of judgment and treatment, it is more than ever important to turn our attention to these agencies which we would like to believe unbiased and evenhanded and which are more liable to errors the less they feel free of them.”

shone a flashlight into Peter’s mosquito tent to wake him up. It was nearly 6 a.m.; we needed to place an early phone call to finalize the details of a medication delivery to the Saint Paul-Saint Michel clinic, where we’d both be working in a matter of hours. The only person with good cell phone service in Chermaitre—the rural, mountainous Haitian village where we were—was the local Episcopal minister, Père Jonas. We sat outside in the dark, waiting for him to arrive so we could borrow his phone.

Gazing out at the shadowy trees and mountain silhouettes around us, Peter asked, “Are you nervous?”

I was. Soon we’d be at the base of the mountain, operating the freshly constructed medical clinic that the Vassar Haiti Project (VHP) worked for a year and a half to fund. It would be the inaugural clinic day in the new building, with two Haitian doctors, including Peter, on duty and a group of VHP members, including me, assisting and staffing the place.

As VHP’s medical initiative director, this was the most important day of the trip to me.

Peter wasn’t nervous at all about our day at the clinic. He’d staffed more mobile clinic days in his country than he could count on two hands. As for me, overseeing the operations of a medical clinic in a rural Haitian village was totally outside of my realm of experience. I didn’t have any idea what to expect.

I nodded yes. I was nervous.

“Don’t be,” Peter said. “Just remember, with every pill you give out, you can save a life.”

This was something Peter had been saying all weekend leading up to the clinic day. I was skeptical; I had too many what-ifs swimming around in my head to take his mantra seriously: what if we didn’t have time to see all the patients? What if we didn’t have all the medications they needed? What if someone came in with a major problem we were unable to treat?

Peter was used to dealing with those kinds of situations. I wasn’t. We sat in silence for a while, watching the stars slowly start to disappear.

The rest of the morning blurred together: we intercepted Père Jonas and placed our call, packed our things, slurped down a goat and vegetable stew for breakfast, and set out down the mountain toward the clinic with a group of fellow VHP members.

As we approached the clinic, we started to hear the noise of people waiting outside, talking to each other in Creole. The area surrounding the squat, 3-room, freshly painted clinic building was already brimming with patients waiting to be seen. We slipped past them and into the building to set up the pharmacy, registration table, and check-up rooms.

The number of people outside was already daunting, and I knew patients would only continue to pour in as the day wore on. I started getting worked up about opening the clinic as soon as possible. I fretted to Peter, who had changed into his scrubs.

The Vassar Haiti Project’s (VHP) medical clinic has recently opened its doors. The clinic is the result of a year and half’s worth fundraising effort on the the part of the members of VHP. “Take your time,” he advised, tying a bandana over his head. “Better to start a little bit late than start when you’re not ready.”

I went to help the Haitian pharmacist organize anti-malarial, anti-worm, and hypertension medications, anti-fungal creams, antibiotics, and painkillers in the pharmacy; as I worked, I tried to channel some of Peter’s smooth, calm collectedness.

When we were all prepared, we opened the clinic and patients flooded in. Mothers came with three or four children in tow, each with a different ailment. Old women leaning on canes and walking sticks came, some of whom walked miles across steep terrain to make it. Teachers from the school in Chermaitre came, and residents of Chermaitre came, and residents of villages surrounding Chermaitre came too.

For the first 30 minutes, I felt a rush as we distributed and explained medications to patients in French and Creole. You could see relief wash over some faces. For the first time I understood the impact of supporting medical progress in a remote, rural area as more than a concept—I was experiencing it on a personal, intimate level.

I had a hard time staying optimistic all day, though. I was struck by the number of people at the clinic who had been suffering long-term from medical problems that could have been treated swiftly and easily in the U.S., from funguses to little infections that had spread fiercely.

There were also, inevitably, patients with problems that we weren’t equipped to treat in a small, rural clinic. We couldn’t give X-rays.

We couldn’t perform operations. And there were patients whose diseases we couldn’t treat with the medications we had, whom we could only provide with painkillers. Coming to terms with that was difficult. In the excitement of fundraising for a project like this

medical initiative, it’s easy to just let yourself believe that with enough money you can miraculously solve the problems of everyone who walks through your clinic doors. It’s wrenching to admit to yourself that that’s not how it works.

And yet, even with the intense frustration of not being able to solve the medical problems of everyone in the area all at once, being at the clinic was still a hopeful experience for me. I have some vivid, uplifting memories of the day. There was the look on one mother’s face as she gently tucked cough syrup and antibiotics for her children into her purse. There was a man who clasped my hands in his and sincerely thanked me when I gave him a topical cream to treat his foot fungus. There was a hunched over old woman in a kerchief who listened attentively as we demonstrated and explained how to use eye drops. Remembering these moments, knowing that this clinic will be operational 3-4 times a month for a full year, supported by money VHP has already raised (and will continue to raise) gave me hope. It completely refreshed my understanding of what each VHP event and art sale means, and has the power to accomplish.

By the time the clinic closed, I was exhausted; I was covered in sweat, my braid was coming undone, and my clothes were covered in sawdust from the brand new wooden pharmacy shelves. When I saw Peter, he looked as calm and cool as he had at the beginning of the day. He laughed when he saw me and pulled me into a hug.

In one breath I tried to explain all of the day’s frustrating and disappointing and promising and inspiring moments. He shushed me.

“Remember what I told you. What you’re doing is important. With every pill you give out, you can save a life.”

And this time when he said it, somehow, it meant more to me.

ADVERTISEMENT

“Have you heard?”

John and Bess

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

April 4, 2013

FEATURES

Page 7

Student employees form bonds with toddlers at ITC Hae Seo Kim

guEst rEportEr

T

he Infant Toddler Center (ITC) works in conjunction with Wimpfheimer nursery school to provide daycare for children of the community or of faculty members. ITC is for toddlers who are too young to attend Wimpfheimer, which is for children who are two years or older.

Both the ITC and Wimpfheimer provide care and experimental pre-school education through collaborated work with experienced staff members, Vassar professors who are education experts, and of course, Vassar students.

ITC provides full-time employment opportunity for interested and invested Vassar stu-

dents who like to work with kids.

Not taking your eyes off the kids, planning activities and games, playing with and taking care of the kids, and cleaning their toys is very different from other office jobs.

Nathaniel Wulff ’15 explained that it is different from other campus jobs because it is more quickly paced, dynamic, and most of what you’re doing is hands-on. Objectives of the day can change quickly, because kids are constantly on the move. “The teachers will ask that you stop in the middle of a task to take care of a more immediate problem.”

Because the tasks involved are so different from other campus jobs, this job also demands different sets of skills and responsibilities.

Cassady Bergevin/The Miscellany News

Student workers at the ITC, like Jesslyn Mitchell ’15, find their jobs to be uniquely challenging and rewarding, and cherish witnessing formative developmental moments that occur while working with young childern.

Jesslyn Mitchell ’15 explained,“Not everyone has the patience or bravery to sit in a room full of screaming infants and toddlers. The community among the staff is incredibly immense stemming from the bonding experiences we all share with the children. Additionally, because it takes a special type of person, the staff bonds through our love of children and dedication to a safe and loving environment.”

Because the children’s needs are always considered top priority, Yuna Shaughnessy ’13 said “Skipping shifts and inappropriate behavior are taken very seriously.”

Wulff concurred that it is definitely not a job for everyone. The ITC is a more stressful environment, where the student employees are responsible for young childrenwho don’t understand what activities are dangerous, and who can’t always communicate what they want except through crying and yelling, He added, “You have to constantly be aware of what’s going on and what might go wrong so you can prevent any major potential problems.”

Despite some huge responsibilities, the students found the experience rewarding because they feel they are doing work that really matters. Mitchell has never worked anywhere else on campus, but added, “It seems like I enjoy my work substantially more than my friends, because I know and see how my work matters in the broader world. You see the direct results of your work both for the children’s days and in their actions and growth.”

Working at the ITC teaches students not only unexpected things about themselves, but also gives them insight into human perception and development. Mitchell said, “Working with toddlers is especially amazing because you are helping shape these children’s perceptions and understandings of their uncertain world. Nothing makes you think about your conceptions and misconceptions of the world like being

Giving to Extremes links athleticism, philanthropy Dallas Robinson guEst rEportEr

S

ome students play sports to compete, some play to stay in shape and still others play for the sheer love of the game. Though sports are largely a personal endeavor, Giving to Extremes, a new preliminary organization on campus, gives students the opportunity to marry their passion for athletics with a desire to help people.

Giving to Extremes is a medical charity that capitalizes on individuals’ thirst for a challenge to raise funds to allow medical professionals to embark on surgical missions in impoverished regions of the world.

Currently the charity focuses its aid toward surgical illnesses such as fistula, cleft palate, and a number of other easily remedied illnesses.

The organization stresses the fact that most illnesses the missions treat are not difficult to correct; the matter is the lack of resources available to many people in these regions.

Evan Einstein ‘14 was introduced to Giving to Extremes by his cousin who competed in an Ironman Triathlon to donate to the charity.

“He inspired me to get other people and myself to do amazing things for an amazing cause,” said Einstein.

He immediately saw potential for similar feats in Vassar’s student body, stating, “I noticed that Vassar has a huge heart, and also has a very fit student body. We could really do some amazing things for some less fortunate people by training for and completing an athletic endeavor.”

Einstein and fellow executive board member Matheu Duhaney ‘13 both swim for Vassar and they hope to encourage other athletes and competitors to push themselves to physical extremes for the organization’s cause. Though the organization might naturally attract those who are physically fit, athleticism is not a requirement for being part of Giving to Extremes.

“We do not discriminate based on athleticism in terms of volunteering for Giving to Extremes VC, or even participating in an event.

If you would like to hike up a large hill in the area, but need to train for it, you can come to us. We will set up a profile page so that you can spread the word to family, friends, colleagues and peers about your plan,” said Einstein.

He went on to explain that once students have established their event, people can start donating to their cause.

Currently, the org is planning to host a 5K fun-run in May that anyone can participate in.

All runners have the opportunity to set up a page with Giving to Extremes where their supporters can track their progress.

For more ambitious runners, students can participate in community marathons and other athletic events to raise funds for the myriad of medical initiatives.

Einstein explained his vision for the scope of the organization, saying, “At Vassar, it will be a portal for people that want to do something... for the charity itself. For example, if someone wants to run the Dutchess County Classic marathon, they can come through us and run for Giving to Extremes.”

He continued, “Anyone can participate in this event, but they can run for a cause, which makes the run incredibly inspirational. The student would also get to meet people from the greater Poughkeepsie community and engage in an activity that is both amazing in our county, but also inspirational for Giving to Extremes and other future runners.”

Giving to Extremes will give students the chance not only to have a connection with the people they are helping overseas, but will more directly allow them to get involved in the Poughkeepsie community—a detail that is central to the organization’s mission.

“Surgical missions to impoverished nations come from reaching out and fusing as many communities as possible. We will have a working google spreadsheet that updates runners, swimmers, hikers, etc. about upcoming events in the local area,” he said.

Einstein concluded optimistically,“This organization is brand new and it’s here to build a legacy.”

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

asked ‘why?’ Children are the purest form of a human being both emotionally and mentally.”

Shaughnessy said, “I worked there all summer and watching them grow all throughout this year was amazing because I got to see them reach certain milestones, like first steps, words, full sentences.”

Witnessing these key moments in the lives of the children they look after, it is inevitable that a close relationship will form between student and child.

Shaughnessy said, “It’s hard not to get attached to them; I don’t think anyone who works at the ITC doesn’t establish a particular bond with at least one child.”

Wulff concurred, “You learn so much about each child’s personality, their ups and downs.

They also learn about you, so inevitably you form bonds with students and miss them when they aren’t at school or when you go on breaks.

And, of course, I’m always a little heartbroken when they move out of the ITC or if a child moves away, but the way you grow as a person when you form relationships with others completely outweighs any sadness you feel when they move on.”

Though these experiences are invaluable, the ITC employees do not feel that their wages reflect the demanding nature of their work.

The job pays $7.25, which is the minimum wage for campus employment. Mitchell said, “I feel that students who work at the ITC and Wimpfheimer have much more responsibilities than most other jobs. We actively ensure the safety of people’s children. Furthermore our responsibilities span over several areas; we do good amounts of cleaning and chore work as well as organizational and office work. While we are not certified teachers, much of the time we work alongside teachers playing pivotal roles on the learning and socialization process of the human beings who will one day run our governments and businesses.”

ADVERTISEMENT

FEATURES

Page 8

April 4, 2013

Research librarians demystify VC’s extensive resources Eloy Bleifuss Prados

A

rEportEr

Jacob Gorski/The Miscellany News

s the semester winds down and the workload piles up, students will spend a great amount of time in the library. However, when it comes to doing research, students might not realize that research librarians can make the process infinitely easier.

When Julianna Shinnick ‘14 needed help with research for her Women, Crime, and Punishment paper, she set up an appointment with Research Librarian Gretchen Leib. The College’s research librarians assist students and faculty with finding and accessing the sources they need, and as the times and student body have changed, so have they.

At each step of the process, research librarians are there to help guide students through the collection’s vast pools of print and digital information, over one million volumes and subscriptions to 70,000 publications, according to the library website. Sometimes an item will be here in the library or it will be at another school, in which a student will have to complete an Interlibrary Loan (ILL) Request.

This, too, can require a librarian’s assistance.

Shinnick met Leib in the Research Consultation Area past the main lobby. She told her what she was looking for.

Said Shinnick, “I’m writing about HIV/AIDS care in prison. And I’m trying to show that the risk factors for being in prison are the same as having AIDS, they’re very similar. So I’m looking for information on the influence of race and class on… “…on prison?” asked Leib. “..on AIDS,” said Shinnick “and I’ve been coming up really short I don’t know why.”

“Okay, have you tried using soc abstract?”

Students like Shinnick can contact research librarians through many different methods through phone, email, and even chat.

Though the work rhythm varies through the year, often paralleling the work rhythms of students, on a busy day research librarian Carol Lynn Marshall says they will have tentwelve research consultations a week. This doesn’t include the daily short emails and chat messages she receives from students asking all types of questions, and, according to Marshall, many of them are very similar. Students want

Vassar boasts over a million voulmes in its library, in addition to vast online resources for scholarly research. The College’s research librarians pose as helpful guides to direct students through this labyrinth. to know where to look for an article on a certain subject or, if they have already found it, want help accessing it. Marshall said research librarians exist to answer anything the student asks, no matter how small.

“There is absolutely no stupid question,” said Marshall. “We’re librarians. Our job is to be interrupted.”

Indeed, Leib also worries students are too hesitant to ask librarians.

“Sometimes I am concerned that some students don’t feel like their questions merits calling someone, but it does,” said Leib.

A librarian is always on call from 8:30am5:00pm weekdays and available in-person Sunday-Thursday.

You can find them at the Research Consultation Area, a lounge-style arrangement of chairs, a coffee table and a sofa in what the librarians hope is a more conversational space.

Its predecessor was a research desk that Leib, who has worked as a research librarian at Vassar since 2000, said saw more visitors.

The internet and the digitization of information has changed the modes of research.

Students can access databases remotely and they can contact librarians remotely.

“The whole virtuality for me has been a loss with working in person with students, which is what I like doing the most,” said Leib. “We talk about the old days when we would go home physically tired from the lines of people at the desk. Now it is mostly answering emails.”

Although internet has made things less personal, it has expedited loan programs. A student expecting a book or article from Interlibrary Loans can expect the item to typically come in within three days to a week. This was not the case for Leib when she was student twenty years ago, and loan requests were sent by mail.

“No matter what college you went to you had to jump through hoops of fire to prove you needed it,” said Leib. “Three days? We had to wait for weeks before we got an article. And

there was always the question if it would even come in.”

Marshall and the five other research librarians divide all of the academic programs and departments among each other, so that each librarian has a specialty and particular knowledge in certain fields. When they are not helping students, research librarians are busy meeting with vendors, acquiring new items for the collection, and attending the occasional conference.

Shinnick, still finding no luck, asked Leib how she could refine her search.

“You can do something like to narrow those factors,” said Mucher.

“I’m looking at especially at African-American and Latina women,” said Shinnick.

“That’s good. You can add that in quotes.

What you are doing is creating a very simple mathematical statement. Theses things. And then x or y.”

Several minutes had passed with still no promising sources until Leib suggested inserting an “and” before “race” and “class” in the search. Shinnick tried it and 9,000 articles on the topic of prison and race and class appeared on the screen.

Head of Collection Development and Research Services Debra Bucher has been at Vassar for four years, and has accumulated 22 years as a research librarian at different colleges and universities. In her time, she has come to a conclusion of what her work means to her.

“We see ourselves as teachers [and] our mission as one of teaching how to be self-reliant,” said Bucher. Students are taught the steps of research and they can apply those steps in other papers, classes, and any moment beyond Vassar.

Marshall thinks that just as important as learning self-reliance is learning self-confidence. Said Marshall, “Next time you’ll need this you’ll feel less anxious and know exactly how to do it.”

And then Bucher added quickly, “But always knowing that you can come back to us as many times as you need to.”

“Yes, that’s what you learn,” said Marshall, “that you should come talk to librarians cause they’ll help you.”

Which came first, the cupcake or the egg? Aja reveals Aja Saalfeld

dEsign Editor

W

Recipe and Guide

Katie de Heras/The Miscellany News

hen I sat down to make gooey chocolate cupcakes stuffed inside eggshells, I did not expect to end up bullying my friend into driving me all throughout Poughkeepsie on a Sunday evening in a vain attempt to find a box of unsalted butter, a dozen eggs and possibly the meaning to life.

Perhaps I am naive or had an unusual upbringing, but I went to high school in what I considered Catholic McCatholic Country, and I never had a problem finding an open grocery store on a holiday. First, Adam’s was closed. I suppose that was to be expected, but when we rolled into the empty parking lot of Stop and Shop, having missed their closing time by only an hour, I was furious.

I turned to my good friend and temporary chauffeur and demanded we go to the only place that should not be closed on Easter Sunday: the Poughkeepsie Galleria.

Fifteen minutes and a massive waste of gas later, we were turning around, cursing Christianity, Target and every other driver on the road.

We ended up walking out of the All Campus Dining Center after an impromptu second dinner with our pockets and takeaway containers bulging with ill-gotten eggs.

Those green takeaway boxes are, hands down, one of the best food-related investment I’ve made at Vassar. It’s all the pragmatism of stealing from the deece without the risk of student conduct violations. They are worth the cost in dining bucks and VCash So, ingredients finally acquired and back in the familiarly horrible Jewett kitchen, with its broken microwaves and rotting chicken in the fridge, I set out to make these cupcakes and had one of the worst baking experiences of my life, bar none, including

the time I got second-degree burns on my thumb.

The tutorial for emptying out the eggshells was clearly written by a blatant liar; stabbing eggs with a corkscrew is not easy, it is not pleasant, but it is disgustingly messy.

With sticky, eggy fingers and yellow blotches of yolk down the front of my white shirt, I was not terribly excited about the prospects for this recipe.

I also managed to be heinously short on ingredients for the cake itself--thanks, Easter--and had to substitute a cup of soy milk for a cup of coffee.

Also, pro baking tip: do not try to cream butter and sugar with a spatula; just go bother your friend with a mixer. It’s not worth the effort, I promise.

I learned that one should never overfill eggs with cake batter, which is probably an important life skill for a very specific, and strange, group of people, but not one I ever expected to need to know. They did not explode, but they spilled over to a ridiculous degree, and now I have several chocolate-cake encrusted muffin tins, which I am not entirely amused about.

I also ended up having a not entirely playful argument with two of my friends about how much of a disaster this entire fiasco was that might have made a permanent mark on my relationships.

However, after several false starts, we ended up with cupcakes stuffed inside eggshells, which was the goal we began with.

Never mind that the outside of the eggshells are stained with chocolate or that they taste-gasp--vegan, because they are unreasonably adorable. There is nothing cuter than cracking open what appears to be a hard-boiled egg and getting a chocolate cupcake, and I would stand by that under oath.

Egg-Cleaning Tutorial

1. Rinse each egg thoroughly under running water.

2. Poke a small hole in the top of each egg. I used a corkscrew, put a clean thumbtack or pin would also work.

3. Open up the hole enough that a pastry piping tip can fit inside.

4. Using a small knife or the end of a corkscrew, break the yolk and scramble the egg within the shell.

5. Shake the scrambled mix of each egg into a bowl.

6. Wash eggs again and submerge in water for ten minutes.

7. Fill the eggs 1/2 full with batter of your choice.

8. Bake in a preheated 350 degree F oven for 23 minutes.

9. Cry repeatedly

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

April 4, 2013

OPINIONS

Page 9

THE MISCELLANY NEWS STAFF EDITORIAL

RNC ‘autopsy’ symptomatic of plight of American politics Over spring break, the Republican National Committee (RNC) released ‘The Growth and Opportunity Project,’ more ghoulishly referred to as the ‘Republican autopsy,’ an analysis of the failings of Republican candidates in the 2012 election and mechanisms necessary to ensure future victory. The report has been hailed by the RNC as “the most comprehensive post-election review” completed by the losing party. Despite this moniker, a closer look at the document reveals that the report’s focus is messaging, and by-and-large fails to suggest any policy changes. It is with this information in mind, that we at The Miscellany News express our disappointment in the autopsy’s emphasis and timing.

To be clear, the Republican National Committee does not directly control individual Republican candidates, nor does it specifically establish guiding policies for the Party. Rather, the RNC helps to articulate and publicize the Republican platform. It is a private organization that fundraises for affiliated Republican campaigns and organizes the Republican National Convention. As such, they can, to some extent, influence party ideology, and it is unfortunate that they chose not to do so through the autopsy report. Because of this financial and political sway, we at The Miscellany News want to the hold the RNC to a higher standard. We take issue with the RNC’s lack of advocacy for politicians to reconsider their policies and platforms.

The creation of the document itself seems to indicate that a growing majority of Americans

disagree with the politics of the Republican party, yet the message of the autopsy was focused on self-representation and publicity rather than introspection.

In introducing the report, Reince Priebus, chairman of the RNC, explained that the research indicated the Republican Party lost numerous elections largely due to poor marketing. As Vassar students, members of an institution filled with young people, women, and racial minorities—groups the document identifies as showing disapproval of the Republican platform—this statement reflects a failure to recognize and respect the individuals’ reasons for not voting for Republican candidates.

We would also like to problematize how the RNC frames young voter motivation in the document. The report reads, “The Party is seen as old and detached from pop culture...Obama was seen as ‘cool’ in 2008, and his popularity spread like wildfire among young voters.”

The RNC then recommends candidates and RNC members better engage with popular culture to win the youth vote. One recommendation reads, “Establish an RNC Celebrity Task Force of personalities in the entertainment industry to host events for the RNC and allow donors to participate in entertainment events as a way to attract young voters.” Another advocates that “Republican leaders should participate in and actively prepare for interviews with The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, MTV and magazines such as People, UsWeekly, etc.”

These recommendations show a lack of re-

Gates’ condom investment a model for tech innovation Angela Della Croce guEst Columnist

B

ill Gates: investor, entrepreneur, philanthropist, good-sex advocate? That’s right, one of the world’s most famous computer geeks is offering a $100,000 grant to anyone who can successfully develop the “next generation of condoms” to help curb unwanted pregnancies and the spread of STIs around the world.

People have been complaining about the lack of pleasure and intimacy that comes with wearing a condom probably since its first recorded use in 1350 B.C.E. in Egypt. The cost of choosing protection over maximized gratification in the heat of the moment has left many men willing to take their chances. According to the 2012 UNAIDS World AIDS Day Report, approximately 34 million people in the world are living with HIV, and half of them don’t even know they have it. This means they currently have no symptoms, or have not identified their symptoms as dangerous, assuming that they are healthy enough to have unsafe sex and subsequently spread the disease to others. According to the CDC, in 2011 48% of births in the U.S. were unintended, and that number is higher in developing areas that lack easy access to sources of birth control.

Despite the fact that condoms are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy when used properly and is considered one of the best ways to stop the spread of HIV, less than one in seven humans worldwide use a condom. 15 billion condoms are produced every year and used by approximately 750 million men on earth. These numbers sound impressive, but if you were to evenly divide the world’s supply of condoms among the men who use them, each man would only have 20 condoms to work with for the whole year. Some of us can blow through 20 condoms over Spring Break (pun intended)..

Simply put, the demand for condoms is just not high enough; even those willing to wear one aren’t wearing them often enough for suppliers to produce more.

Bill Gates attributes the lack of condom use not only to its interference with pleasure but also to the fact that the technology is outdated and in need of a makeover, so to speak. There have not been any major improvements to the condom in the past 50 years, which is what the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is hoping

to change. To win the grant, the recipient must create a condom that “significantly preserves or enhances pleasure, in order to improve uptake and regular use.” This could be done through the development of new and effective materials for condoms, different designs for easier and more appealing use, or both.

“There have not been any major improvements to the condom in the past 50 years.” angela Della cROce ’15 Another key feature highlighted by the Foundation is the condom’s ability to “address and overcome cultural barriers.” In some cultures, condom use is seen as an indication that the man is infected with HIV/AIDS, so many women won’t sleep with men who use them.

Designing a condom that combats such notions will be no easy feat, but the startup grant of $100,000 could lead to $1 million in further funding from the Foundation if the “new generation of condoms” is successful in its aims.

Though Gates would not have been my first guess of who would encourage such innovation, I am relieved he is doing so. With recent media coverage on the issue of whether birth control should even be allowed, I have been concerned that the direction of contraception use was taking a turn for the worst and heading back in time. Thankfully, Bill Gates is alleviating the risk that we are heading down that road, and is monetarily backing up the cause. I feel that it is important to improve the already effective forms of birth control we have while understanding the reality that people will have sex—whether a condom is present or not.

Hopefully the combination of Bill Gates’ name recognition, the financial reward, and society’s infatuation with all things sexual will entice innovators to solve some of the world’s largest problems in a very creative way.

—Angela Della Croce ‘15 is an Economics ma-

spect for the young people’s ability to make informed political decisions. These positions imply that the RNC views young Americans as seduced by the image and not by substance. We at The Miscellany News disagree with this supposition about our political savvy and emphasize that our political understanding should be treated with equal respect and consideration.

The report also makes broad statements as to why certain minority groups did not support the Republican Party. The report argues, “If Hispanic Americans hear that the GOP doesn’t want them in the United States, they won’t pay attention to our next sentence....if Hispanics think we don’t want them here, they will close their ears to our policies.” This claim reduces a huge proportion of Americans into not only single-issue voters, but into individuals unwilling to fully participate in politics.

The RNC’s recommendation does not take note of its potential to significantly impact immigration reform, insteading stating “the RNC needs to carefully craft a tone that takes into consideration the unique perspective of the Hispanic community. Message development is critical to Hispanic voters.” This recommendation highlights the idea that the RNC does not view its recent loss as an opportunity to reevaluate their policies, but rather to remarket them.

Despite concerns over aspects of the report, The Miscellany News does value some of its suggestions. For example, the document encouraged the establishment of a ‘Growth and Opportunity Inclusion Council’ whose diverse

membership would receive leadership training, financial support, and space to voice concerns about the Republican platform. Moreover, in each section on minority groups, the RNC advocates for better representation in the party leadership and election staffing positions.

The RNC also encouraged increasing the number of speakers sent to college campuses and other more liberal areas to discuss the Republican platform. As supporters of politically involved student populations, we embrace the opportunity to hear all positions of the political spectrum and acknowledge their value in furthering our understanding of American politics.

However, the document is symptomatic of key problems within both the Republican and Democratic parties. That the autopsy is being released now with the goal of preparing for the 2016 election speaks volumes. Rather than address pressing issues such as the budget and gun control, the RNC prefers to look ahead to what they deem a more important fight—the promotion and fundraising for their candidates.

The RNC’s avoidance of major policy changes in lieu of polling strategies would seem to suggest that the American people are wooed by what they see and not by what is being said, and its timing shows that the RNC is more interested in future victory than issues that continue to plague citizens in the present moment.

—The Staff Editorial reflects the opinion of at least 2/3 of the Editorial Board.

Epstein audience offered skewed info on fossil fuels Katharine Gripp guEst Columnist

A

lex Epstein sits easily on a chair in the middle of the floor of Rockefeller Hall 200 as his pretty, made-up, high-heeled assistant smiles and passes out papers. Epstein jokes with his audience, even to those who are obviously present only to oppose him. He smilingly assures us that world hunger has been solved.

Such was the atmosphere that Alex Epstein attempted to create last Friday night during his lecture, titled: “Fossil Fuels Improve the Planet”. However, many members and supporters from the Vassar Fossil Fuel Divestment Campaign, the local community, and nearby colleges and high schools showed up to send a different message than the one espoused by the Center for Industrial Progress (CIP) founder. When dozens of divestment supporters called out Epstein’s lack of credibility and walked en masse out of the Rockefeller auditorium, Epstein only smiled sardonically and quipped, “Well, that was dramatically done.”

Others have written more knowledgeably of—and can more lucidly explain—Epstein’s lack of qualifications as an “energy researcher,” most notably his only credentials being a philosophy degree from Duke and a fellowship with the Ayn Rand Institute. What I found more disturbing, perhaps, than Epstein’s unfounded, offensive, and strangely static arguments. With points such as: “Fossil fuels have always been the most efficient sources of energy, and therefore always will be” and “Without fossil fuels we would all be poor starving peasant farmers” (these are not direct quotes, though they might as well be), Epstein succeeded in insidiously making his skewed doctrine sound like the right, just, and inevitable way of thinking about fossil fuels and industrial development..

An informal meeting of the Divestment Campaign after Epstein’s lecture engendered an open discourse not only about CIP’s espoused ideology but also about the manner of Epstein’s delivery—that is, how he managed to make unfounded and extremist sentiments superficially appear so reasonable. Among the many subtle and unsettling tactics Epstein used to manipulate his audience, there

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

emerged one in particular that disturbed many Vassar students and allies who were in attendance: Epstein’s establishment of a power dynamic in which he occupied a more valuable and worthy position than anyone else in the room.

Before the start of the formal lecture, Epstein greeted the audience dismissively: “While we’re waiting, does anyone have any questions? I’m bored.” Throughout his presentation, he presented listeners with misleading facts and statistics, and continually structured his lecture with leading questions that required the audience to hear his oh-so-knowledgeable explanation. Most crucially, he maintained his calm, respectful, and slightly satirical demeanor throughout the lecture.

In contemporary society—especially in the American political arena—such level-headedness is esteemed above almost all other forms of expression because of its implied associations: level-headedness equals rationality equals logic equals truth. Alex Epstein, far from espousing the truth, has merely co-opted a corrupt and degrading form of it based on privileged assumptions and specious connections.

These kinds of discussion at least bring to light some of the core principles that the Divestment Campaign wishes to clarify for the Vassar community and readers everywhere: What is the “truth” about divestment? Why is the act of divestment so important for our institution?

Although this lecture was indeed regrettable, we are hopeful that this episode may bring about more immediate awareness to issues of climate change, environmental justice, and ultimately divestment. It has at least served to make members of the community more cognizant of the myths and misunderstandings surrounding divestment and energy alternatives.

In the next few months, the Divestment Campaign will be launching an effort to make information about divestment more available and accessible to the Vassar community. Feel free to ask them some questions—they might be bored.

—Katharine Gripp ‘13 is an English major.

OPINIONS

Page 10

Letter to the Editor Response to Opinion Piece, “Academic databases must be made more accessible” by Joshua Sherman, March 28, 2013 I am sympathetic with Joshua Sherman’s sentiment regarding equal, open and free access to all published material. It is a laudable ideal to want all students to have access to the most recent and important scholarly research available. The Open Access movement is one important step toward that goal. Access to scholarly research is not cheap, however; even when open access is the goal. There will always be costs associated with the production of knowledge—editorial, printing, interface coding and design, and/or storage costs.

The challenges lie in how the costs are passed on to the consumers (academic institutions). It is a complex situation, and it would be foolhardy to attempt a thorough explanation here. But I would like to discuss two issues relating to Mr. Sherman’s Opinion piece.

First, the ability to purchase information is really related to relative wealth not size. Vassar College, although a small liberal arts college, is blessed with a healthy library materials budget, and we should not see ourselves lacking in access to research materials because we are small. Most content providers charge academic institutions based on their student FTE (full-time equivalent) or their Carnegie Classification, a system that ranks colleges and universities by the level of degree offered. So, in fact, Vassar College does not pay the same amount as a large PhD-granting institution for the same content. That doesn’t make the content cheap, or even affordable for colleges not as wealthy as Vassar, but it levels the playing field between large and small institutions to a certain degree. I and other Vassar librarians also spend many hours negotiating with vendors to get even better pricing in order to increase our purchasing power. Second, access to information can take several forms. When we can’t purchase something because it is too expensive or doesn’t fit our core curriculum needs, we encourage the use of our Interlibrary Loan (ILL) services. Librarians across the country have created networks of lending for material that is not directly available at their local institutions. The Vassar library, with very few exceptions, does not charge for this service, as many academic libraries do. No library has direct access to all information, so it is contingent upon its users to take advantage of the ILL system. Having said that, I would encourage anyone interested in having the library purchase a resource (print or digital) to contact me; we welcome and consider all requests and are almost always able to provide an agreeable level of access. Also, if you are interested in Open Access, come to a lecture by Bryn Geffert, Library Director at Amherst College, entitled “Libraries, Publishing, and Arranged Marriages,” April 10, 5:30pm in the Class of 1951 Reading Room, Thompson Memorial Library.

—Debra J. Bucher is the Head of Collection Development and Research Services at the Vassar College Libraries

ADVERTISEMENT

April 4, 2013

U.S. faces balancing act with N. Korea Stacey Nieves Columnist

I

n your travels through the Internet this past week, you may have come across a meme or two mocking the Supreme Leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, over either his weight, or his plans to nuke Austin, Tex. With his childlike face and seemingly permanent look of mild confusion, the unimposing leader has become a favorite target for the ridicule of from Internet-savvy Americans, despite the increasing intensity of his threats to blow all of us and our Macbooks to kingdom come.

The proclamations of American journalists, while couched in much more academic terms, express hardly any more fear of approaching hellfire than the meme-makers and Photoshoppers of the wider Internet. The general consensus, as it has been in similar situations, is that Pyongyang’s threats can be best described as “saber-rattling,” a protracted play featuring tightly-choreographed dances of soldiers, dimly-lit scenes of midnight military meetings, and a poorly-cast, slightly overwhelmed lead. Even worse, we’ve seen this play several times over the past twenty years, when it began its first run with North Korea’s 1994 threat to turn Seoul into a “sea of fire.” (This rhetorical flourish has only recently been topped by Russian Foreign Minister Sergey V. Lavrov, who expressed concern that the situation in North Korea could “descend into the spiral of a vicious cycle.”)

Even as the U.S. media writes off the Korean stare-down as mere posturing, the government has done more than enough to serve its purpose within the drama of the warring Koreas. Partially in response to North Korean nuclear tests, the U.S. military has conducted practice runs with nuclear-capable stealth bombers over the Korean peninsula, which provoked only

more violent rhetoric from the Supreme Leader. When you add in South Korean President Park Geun-hye, who has promised “strong retaliation” to any provocation from the North, as well as bystanders Russia and China both casting wary glances at their once longtime ally, you have quite the large cast for this international farce.

Like most people, I have my doubts that the North Korean government is stupid enough to commit suicide by launching a nuclear attack against the United States.

Though, from its bellicose rhetoric you might guess that North Korea is merely a push of the button away from wiping Washington, D.C. off the face of the earth, military experts are skeptical as to whether Pyongyang possesses the capability to reach the United States with a nuclear warhead. Even if it could, it would not do so, and Kim Jong-un surely knows that as well as you or I do. So why the show; why the flexing and shouting; why the international game of chicken if no one plans to make a move?

There are a number of possibilities. Given Kim Jong-un’s status as a new, untested leader of a desperately impoverished state, he may be trying to assert himself or rally support for his regime by demonizing South Korea and the United States. Some wonder if the threats are merely a ploy to attract the attention of the United States and encourage the Obama Administration to turn its attention to the issue of Korean reunification, a goal that seems to have been forgotten by the wealthier Korea.

Given the way the North Korean government is behaving, however, I’d say reunification isn’t on its mind. The cutting off of the military hotline between the two Koreas, re-declaration of a war that technically never ended, and presumably symbolic tearing up of the armistice that paused the hostilities are fairly familiar

gestures. But the sexist personal attack lobbed by Pyongyang at the South’s first female president, blaming her “venomous swish of skirt” for the rising tensions, suggests that the right-wing, military-first government of the North has no qualms about alienating its left-wing neighbor. We may have little need to fear North Korean attacks on the U.S. mainland, but skirmishes between the Koreas, which have broken out before, remain a very real possibility.

In addition to the ever-present threat of border clashes, a recent series of cyber attacks on the banking system and television broadcasters of South Korea, which have been attributed to the North by South Korean and American experts, suggest that Pyongyang may choose a different, stealthier means of attacking its neighbor and enemy. Such attacks, unlike massive military operations, cannot be easily traced back to North Korea; this enables it to undermine the South while maintaining its ability to believably claim that it has done nothing.

Rather than the blundering showboat some have made him out to be, Kim Jongun may be revealing himself as something more akin to a sly magician who cleverly employs distraction to ensure you’re never looking where you should be.

If that is the case, the U.S. faces a challenging balancing act. If the U.S. fails to respond with appropriate force to suspected cyber attacks or military skirmishes, some will cry that the superpower has chosen to abandon its allies. If it lays too heavy a hand on the Korean peninsula, however, it risks igniting a full-scale war between the two Koreas. But the United States has been here before. If the country can adapt to a younger North Korean leader armed with some newer methods of warfare, it may be able to walk the tightrope without sending anyone tumbling into war.

—Stacey Nieves ‘15 is an English major.

Fossil fuels power robots, yes; but energy is always evolving Joshua Sherman

Assistant Opinions Editor

F

or anyone who has had the misfortune of having to sit through Mr. Epstein’s lecture last Thursday, you probably heard him voice a lot of support for things like fossil fuels, hydrocarbons energy usage, and so on. While I feel there is merit to having a logical and constructive discussion on why a few of the points Mr. Epstein addressed were right—and why most of them were extremely wrong—I want to instead call attention to a particular subject Mr. Epstein brought up regarding what makes a lot of our fundamental aspects of society: robots.

Specifically, one of Mr. Epstein’s statements that I found most striking was how an average American will have about “600 robots” working on their behalf, involved in everything from the clothes they’re wearing to how the food they’re eating is produced, grown, et cetera. While I’m not sure just where he got such an estimate on the exact size and impact of our robotic servants, I think this point is moot.

What really matters here is the fact that not only our creature comforts, but the very way in which we live our lives as modern residents of Vassar College is not possible without the power and assistance of things like robots, or more generally the feats of machinery that help the gears of our society turn.

Unfortunately, Mr. Epstein tried to use this as some sort of broad aside to the necessity of using fossil fuels to power our world, but this is irrelevant to what makes our world work. Machines make our world work, not fossil fuels. You have electricity because of a power plant turning a turbine, not necessarily from coal or oil. I think it’s worth noting our accomplishments in logistics and machinery alike are made possible not from coal or oil, but from human achievement. While we may be using more energy than ever to power computers that may have tasks as menial as Facebook or as important as ensuring that food gets to your plate, what matters here is that we

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

are thankful for our achievements in building such machines, robots, or whatever you may call them. Don’t let people tell you it’s oil and coal that gets food on your plate, it’s a robot, built by an innovative human.

At the end of the day, I actually feel this discussion of energy usage as a whole is completely irrelevant to how we operate and advance as a society. While many will argue ‘til the end of time about why divestment needs to happen—or doesn’t need to happen—it doesn’t change the fact our society is built not off of energy independently, but of the powerful systems of logistics and feats of mechanical and computer engineering we have created in the last few decades. That robot may run oil today, but 200 years ago the robot ran on wood, and thousands of years ago robots ran off of humans in the form of tools in our hands.

We are constantly changing fuels and we will continue to do so for centuries to come. The role energy plays in this equation is, to put in simple terms, just that: energy. If the final missing part of the puzzle to cold fusion were figured out tomorrow, Mr. Epstein would remain a die-hard and illogical supporter of his belief in fossil fuels, hydrocarbons, energy, or whatever you will want to call it. What you will see is that our system of logistics adjusts to the best means available at the time, just like any logical system would do. Humans are miraculous and ingenious inventors, and I want to remind people that the world we have today is the way it is because of our own achievements in engineering through our powerful machines, not merely fossil fuels, hydrocarbons, etc. The more we continue to innovate, the more we will see these robots continue to impact our lives for the better, whether they run on oil, the sun, or something else we have yet to discover.

—Joshua Sherman ‘16 is an English major. He is the Assistant Editor of Opinions for the Miscellany News.

April 4, 2013

OPINIONS

Epstein lecture walkout highlights Vassar’s flagging commitment to thorough discourse Alaric Chinn & Dan Salton guEst Columnists

T

he Fossil Fuels Divestment Campaign is a central and controversial topic at Vassar College. To the campaign’s credit, its participants have reached a number of milestones, such as the passage of a VSA resolution in support of divesting from fossil fuels. Yet, notably—outside of VSA Council meetings— there has been a lack of organized discussion between proponents and opponents of divestment. As such, it would seem that the recent lecture given by Alex Epstein of the Center for Industrial Progress, which directly addressed the national divestment movement of which the Vassar campaign is a component, would have been a fair starting point for a wider, inclusive conversation on the matter.

Yet vocal members of the Vassar divestment campaign chose to remove themselves from that conversation, when a student abruptly interrupted the lecturer and led a walkout. You can see a portion of the student’s speech by typing “Vassar College students interrupt [sic] Alex Epstein speech” into Google or YouTube to watch the namesake video. In addition to the disrespect shown to the lecturer as well as those community members and students who chose to stay, the walkout illustrates an increasingly common phenomenon among the more controversial subjects on campus: a general lack of respect for dissenting opinions and a propensity to mock the individuals who hold those opinions or want to engage with those opinions seriously.

It is of growing concern to us that Vassar

College, while a bastion of tolerance based on class, gender, and race, has become increasingly politically and philosophically intolerant.

This is a strange trend, considering that Vassar’s dedication to expanding critical thought is spearheaded by faculty members drawn from among the best of their respective fields.

Yet as the walkout has indicated, there is an increasingly radical nature to the Vassarion political culture that inspires some on campus to act in a way that demonized and ridicules those who hold different views.

In the student’s own words, “For those of you who prefer a friendly and intelligent discussion on divestment, fossil fuels, and sustainability, stand up now and follow me to the Joss MPR...” There is a presumption in these words that both denote contempt for Epstein’s views and strikes at the head of the freedoms that protect all on campus. For without free speech, free expression, freedom of thought—core values that protect everyone—the result is a grand chill over the very exercise Vassar is designed to perform: the creation of intellectually curious individuals. The actions of those who participated in walking out denied the agency of their peers by deciding for them that any discussion in Rockefeller 200 with Epstein was not “intelligent.” This is a phenomenon that is by no means new, as there have been many similar incidents in the past. However, they appear to be happening more often and with greater frequency, and we are not alone in having fears that Vassar may truly become a place of intellectual intolerance.

What must be remembered is that all Vassar

students—ourselves included—are but neophytes in their field. We attend Vassar to learn, and key to that learning is the rational evaluation of dissonant voices. By no means did members of the remaining audience universally agree with Epstein’s positions. Rather, audience members listened, challenged, were challenged, and hopefully subsequently matured in their views or helped Epstein mature his own.

Members of the Vassar Divestment Campaign had that opportunity, and could have contributed to the discussion or simply observed the proceedings. But for one to instead launch a diatribe against Epstein and to then ceremoniously leave is not to merely reject his views, but to insinuate that he has no right to express those views, cheapening the intellectual curiosity of those who remained. It is the height of arrogance and intellectual intolerance, and pays insult to the very freedoms of expression, thought and speech that are relied on to promote alternative views.

We both come from different traditions, and have differing perspectives on the benefits and drawbacks of divestment. However, both of us agree that regardless of your views, respect for the freedom of others to embrace and engage with differing positions is a fundamental right of Vassar College, and one should not act to disrupt the rightful expression of those positions.

guEst Columnist

A

merica’s economic dominance is a key aspect of its national history. It has cemented itself substantially since our nation won independence more than two centuries ago. Today the United States continues to hum along as the largest economy in the world, having been an economic powerhouse since the late 19th century and maintaining prestige as the largest national economy since the end of World War II. In 1776 Adam Smith, a Scottish philosopher, published The Wealth of Nations, which outlined the free market system that has since become a cornerstone in values for United States economics. Free enterprises, owned by private individuals and operating with a limited amount of government regulations, make markets non-excludable and enticing to creative and ambitious individuals.

Beginning in the 1790s, the first examiner in the American Patent Office, Thomas Jefferson, made innovation the core of the American patent process, and thanks in part to his efforts American income per capita increased to become the highest in the world by the 1830s, bringing an end to western Europe’s theretofore unchallenged dominance.

In more recent decades, America’s growing interest in venture capital has created a hub of young and ambitious entrepreneurs that constitute the tightest and most advertised core of self-made people. In the 1950s, as Dean of Engineering at Stanford University, Frederick Terman launched the first-ever industrial park—an accessible space designed for start-ups to blossom. Many consider it to be at the origin of Silicon Valley. And it is these spaces for bright ideas that have caused leaders like San Antonio, Tex. Mayor Julian Castro to describe America as, “a country like no other, a place where great journeys can be made in a single generation.”

America continues to be a cradle of life for many self-made individuals as a country of upward social mobility, but today such journeys are fewer and farther between here compared to other wealthy nation. Although the collective commitment to the Ameri-

can dream remains solid, the government is buried beneath debt, education has become increasingly costly and jobs continue to be scarce. The prospect of improvement seems out of reach for ordinary people.

Income equality, having grown for years, is now at it’s highest in decades. In a time where the question of economic growth is accompanied by fear, it seems that the reduction of social opportunity is a structural problem that will be a barrier in the long run.

This contributes to a vicious circle; in precarious situations, investors are only willing to invest in enterprises with predictable payoffs. They don’t see gold mines in innovation anymore—they only see risk. And as innovation is pushed to the side, the trend of social divergence continues. The elite becomes entrenched and poverty sclerotic.

“The reduction of social opportunity is a structural problem that will be a barrier in the long run.” helOise MeRcieR ’16 The loss of social mobility in America is an issue that former Florida Governor and potential 2016 presidential candidate Jeb Bush has begun to draw attention to. “It’s just so un-American,” Bush said, adding, “And yet none of the conversation and the debates are really about this. But upward mobility is the chance to solve a lot of problems...”

A study led by Jo Blanden, Paul Gregg and Stephen Machin, from the London School of Economics, demonstrated American social stagnation by pointing out that, in the United States, a father’s income was a better predictor of his son’s income than in seven other countries—including Germany, Norway, Finland, Canada and the United Kingdom.

Word

on the street

What do you plan to do (be??) after you graduate?

“An unlicensed contractor of TA bridges.”

–Piper Path ‘16

“A political analyst for the Republican National Committee.”

–Beauregarde DeConnais, ‘15

—Alaric Chinn ‘13 is a Science, Technology and Society major. He is Chair of the Judicial Board. Dan Salton ‘10 was Chair of the Judicial Board in the 2009-2010 academic year.

While U.S. economic mobility plummets, China emerges as cradle of opportunity Heloise Mercier

Page 11

“Going forward, we have to deal with our longer [term] structural problems. The biggest one, as far as I’m concerned, is that we’re no longer socially mobile as a country,” said Bush on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” program on March 7, 2013. Bush concluded by warning his audience that, as the global economy becomes more competitive, “We need to raise the level of our game to the 21st century”.

And while the United States has failed to accomplish this so far, many Asian countries like China have not. In the last two decades China’s economy has been growing at about twice the rate of that of the United States, and it has come a long way in terms of privatization.

Until the late 1980s China was built on a Soviet model; there were no private businesses or aspects of capitalism. But Deng Xiaoping, who rose to power in the years after Mao Zedong’s death, enacted broad reforms to shift to a more market-oriented mixed economy.

Though more symbolic than fruitful, even its agricultural collectives were privatized to boost productivity. Western-style management systems were introduced and inefficient state-owned enterprises were closed.

China beat us at our own game.

Most of today’s Chinese billionaires are children of capitalists and intellectuals who were crushed by Mao during the Cultural Revolution. Increasingly often they are coming back to China after a European upbringing, on the prowl for the success that was denied to their parents. This generation built China’s 7% economic growth and helped make it the prettiest house on the ugly block in this period of recession.

America’s historical hegemony has made us numb to the roots of our economic success. Its economic downfall has answered a question we had never felt the need to ask: what was making America the economic leader of the world? To which we now have the answer: it’s social mobility.

—Heloise Mercier ‘16 is a student at Vassar College.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

“Full-time instead of part-time SayAnything troll.”

–Seymour Butts ‘13

“Insurance claims adjuster.”

– Carlisle Haverchuck, ‘13

“Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.”

–Deece Cat ‘11

“The newest editor at BuzzFeed.”

–Julian Pawverti, ‘14r

Jean-Luc Bouchard, Humor & Satire Editor Katie de Heras, Photo Editor

OPINIONS

Page 12

April 4, 2013

Posse Veteran reflects on experience, journey to Vassar Jack Daniel Eubanks Guest Columnist

W

ounded. Lost. Abandoned. That was me last year. I had just returned from Afghanistan. The war didn’t go well. Nothing had. It was my third time getting hurt overseas.

I had served three times previously in the Iraq War and was wounded twice there. This meant that I was to be retired from service. Threestrikes-and-you’re-out sort of deal. I had to leave the uniform behind.

I had no idea where to go. I had studied at Harvard previously and did quite well. Some of my fondest memories are with the professors and students out in Harvard Yard. In my last semester there however, I was told, “Volunteering to serve in Afghanistan” was not a proper reason to withdraw and I received failing grades instead. I couldn’t go back.

For six months straight, my life dwindled further into despair. I had lost what I loved.

Not the war—lord knows I had no great love of that—but serving along my brothers and sisters in arms, these were bonds that would never die.

Along the way I was introduced to art and writing therapy. Little did I know at the time that this would become a pivotal moment in my life. Art and writing would be stepping-stones back to an old love.

After healing up a bit, both mentally and physically, I ventured further back into my artsy roots and, with some encouragement, took a class in acting at George Washington University. This very basic class would reach further into my future than I could ever have imagined. It awakened the acting bug inside me. I loved it! I had been a techy in high school and was deeply involved in theatre. I had not done much acting, though I had toyed with the idea and had done bit parts throughout my military career. This, I decided, was what I would do. I was going to be an actor. But how?

Two very good friends at Walter Reed Medical Center heard of my passion and abilities

and nominated me for a scholarship through the Posse Foundation. A full ride to some small place called Vassar… “Vassar, what’s a Vassar?”

I asked. I should have known better. I heard things like “liberal arts school”, “small town”, “little ivies”, et cetera, and I had grown wary of anything with the word “Ivy” attached to it.

Then I heard Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Jackie Kennedy, and Lisa Kudrow. I heard of the Power House Theatre, Cushing, and the Butterbeer Brewers… It did not take any convincing after that; in fact Vassar turned out to be my dream school.

The nomination process was intense. We submitted all kinds of documents, more thanwas required for the normal college application. Everything from grades to the Common App, and test scores of course, but also military records, Wars we had fought in, medals, and recommendations from professors, commanding officers and generals. But this was just the beginning.

Over the course of several months we began the interview process, competing against hundreds of veterans for ten spots. The first interview was a group interview. We did this in groups of ten, and often joked that they should just pick our ten together since we all like each other. It was not to be. We participated in all sorts of mock classroom scenarios and leadership exercises to see not only who would stand out, but who could stand together. The Posse Foundation, after all, sends teams of students to college as a support network. In this case however, they were going to deploy a squad of veterans onto a college campus.

The second interview for those of us who were so fortunate was in person—two Posse advisors and myself. This one was rather relaxed, even though I was wearing a suit and tie, as ordered by my command; first impressions are everything to Marines. One of their biggest concerns was if I would fit in as I looked so natural dressed up. That, I assured them would not be a problem, at least not once I’ve grown

my hair out. I’ve always had a young heart and a free spirit, often being called the hippie of the Marine Corps.

Then the wait—only twenty of us would make it to the finalist interviews. Then the mystery. Along the way I was sent an email from vassar.edu. No name, just Vassar. To this day I do not know who sent the email. The author invited me to two events. The first was an open house at a local private girls’ school where Vassar alumnae/i came to speak to prospective students. If ever I had been out of place, this was it. I got quite a few stern looks from the fathers present in the room.

“I’ve always had a young heart and a free spirit, often being called the hippie of the Marine Corps.”

Jack Daniel Eubanks ’17 The second event was for the Vassar Film Festival in Washington, D.C. There, I met many more alums and saw some wonderful films. I also met Ryan Hart and Catherine Lunn of the Vassar Alumnae House. After telling me all about Vassar, they invited me up for a tour.

Vassar had far more in store for me, however. I was put up in the Alumnae House for two nights and my meals were covered. An itinerary was left at the front desk, and it was a full schedule! The tour came first. The moment I stepped on the Vassar grounds I felt like I had returned home for the first time since I left for Iraq all those years ago. Everyone was so welcoming. I met with President Hill and Deans Lotto and Borus! I was rather unprepared for all this. After the meeting, I was introduced to

The Miscellany Crossword

by Jack Mullan, Crossword Editor

ACROSS 1 Any ship 4 Bryn ___ College 8 “Harold and Maude” director 13 One of the X−Men 16 Engage in calumny 17 Pareto or Stiglitz 18 “My bad” 19 Gold, to a chemist 20 Noted 1945 photo site, briefly 21 Channel host to “World’s Wildest Police Videos” and “Star Trek” reruns 23 Royal Society of Medicine: Abbr.

25 Main thoroughfare 28 Mother of Horus 29 Kill it, as a rapper 32 Teenage Mutant ___ Turtles 34 Not good with pitches 35 Elephant pols 36 Atlantic and Indian

37 Almost 40 Abbr. on a pill bottle 41 Perfume quantity 43 Home for alligators 46 Pair on a lobster or television set 47 Art Deco artist 48 French possessive 49 Investment info 50 What Taft, Hoover and Carter each had 53 Republic on the Caspian Sea: Abbr.

56 “Racks” rapper 57 Small songbird 58 Morning co−host 62 Dutch painter Jan 63 Earl Scruggs’s music 64 Vice follower 65 Burkina ___ 66 Larry David−esque word DOWN

1 Guarantees (two wds.)

2 Trickery

Answers to last week’s puzzle

3 “Evil Woman” grp.

4 Feline line 5 Military depots 6 Nintendo console 7 E.R. workers 8 Home of St. Francis 9 What a “mushroom cloud” may be, according to Bush admins circa 2003 10 Classic Jack Nicholson line 11 Homer’s son 12 Tough scrabble draw 14 Visual Networking Index: Abbr.

15 U.F.O. crew 22 Askbanner login necessity 24 Time−wasting computergame with bombs, numbers, and flags 26 ___−la−la 27 Right a grounded ship 30 Groups battling big government 31 With “Y,” popular fire−battling crew 33 12−21−2012, to the Mayans 37 Income statement figure 38 Univ. of London prog.

39 Attention−getting headline in a small ad 42 SSW’s opposite 44 In Sicily it’s about 10,920 ft. high 45 The “p” in m.p.h.

50 Optician services 51 Nick at ___ 52 Dutch bank 54 Suitcase brand 55 Fault 59 Will Ferrell titular role 60 Programming language 61 “Luke, ___ your father”

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Professor Darrel James, and he gave me a tour of the theatre department. Turns out my professor at GWU had been Prof. James’ as well.

She had also written my recommendations for Vassar—small world. For the last item on my agenda, I got to sit in on a lecture with President Richard Nixon’s Ambassador to China. Indeed this was all a whirlwind experience. The next morning I topped it off with a breakfast at Babycakes—delicious.

It was still a few weeks until I found out I was to be a finalist. Posse helped all of us prepare after they told us. The last interview was another group interview, and there were twenty-five vets, not twenty! Our hearts sank at the now steeper competition. President Hill and all the Deans were present. Anxiety was high, but we carried on. I was one of the last to leave, helping to clean up the trash left behind, but was quickly hurried out. I left thinking I didn’t stand a chance; that I must have offended someone at Vassar. I refused to answer my family’s calls. Though it was a brisk December night, and I had no jacket, I decided to walk around Manhattan in the hopes that it would cheer me up. Suddenly I got a call. On the other end was President Hill, and she said the most welcoming words I had ever heard: “How would you like to come to our campus this fall?” I was in!

I couldn’t believe it. I started dancing in Times Square and everyone looked at me crazy but I didn’t care. I danced like a fool and even ended up on the jumbotron.

In January our families were invited up for the scholarship awards ceremony. We each received our acceptance letter to Vassar and a white rose. In the end eleven veterans were chosen, from four branches of service; three women and eight men. All endured great struggles during their unique journeys. All were given a new hope. A new home. A home called Vassar.

—Jack Daniel Eubanks is a member of the inaugural class of Vassar Posse Scholars.

April 4, 2013

HUMOR & SATIRE

Page 13

OPINIONS

Breaking News From the desk of Jean-Luc Bouchard, Humor & Satire Editor Geological field researchers discover massive toothbrush deposit in elaborate womp-womp tunnel systems Live-tweeting a NYC apart- Social awkwardness: Lily has ment hunt (#realworldprobs) it and wants to talk about it Lily Doyle

Matt Ortile

Guest Columnist

I

f you’re familiar with house-hunting for a summer internship, you’ll know such an endeavor makes The Hunger Games look like child’s play. But after eventful apartment viewings, plenty of emails, and sheer dumb luck, I secured an apartment sublet in Manhattan.

Below, the events of #TheGreatApartmentHunt2013 presented as a live-tweet. And to those still searching, happy hunting and may the odds be ever in your favor.

12:43pm. Take the subway to Brooklyn and emerge from the stop at the new Barclays Center (dammit, gentrification). Feel really URBSy. 1:00pm. At apartment #2. A cute man with a hoodie and a French accent opens the door to an office space-turned-loft. His roommate runs to me, starts pawing at my pants.

1:01pm. Note-to-self: delete my Grindr. #ugh

7:02am. Alarm clock goes off (set to play “Call Me Maybe” not ironically). Snooze for ten more minutes because #SpringBreakNoRules.

1:07pm. He’s subletting the loft because he’s moving closer to the MoMA where he works and to NYU where he’s finishing his PhD. Keeping my Grindr. #FoundTheOne

7:42am. Snoozed three additional times. Get up because real life and real estate are calling me, maybe. #SpringBreakSomeRules

1:29pm. Discussing details: three beds, two baths. Only one window. No kitchen. Faces the main street. Well, at least it’s not on the TH path.

8:23am. Arrive at train station. Cry about MTA fare hikes and buy an off-peak round trip ticket for $34, or about 18 Twisted Soul empanadas.

1:30pm. $4000/month. I mean, it’s still not on the TH path.

8:36am. Find a seat on the train. Take out the book I should have been reading all break. Turn to page one.

10:21am. Wake up in Grand Central. Still on page one. Oh well.

10:47am. After buying a new MetroCard for $11, or two venti white mochas at the Kiosk, reach the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Little dogs everywhere.

11:00am. At apartment #1. A beautiful man with scruff and Warby Parker glasses opens the door to an UWS penthouse. His Yorkshire terrier runs to me, starts pawing at my pants.

11:01am. Note-to-self: delete my OKCupid account. #FoundTheOne 11:07am. He’s subletting the apartment because he and his girlfriend are moving to London. Keeping my OKCupid account. #ugh 11:34am. Discussing details: two beds, two baths. North, west, and south exposures. 17th floor. A roof deck great for barbecues. Now that’s a Terrace Apartment.

11:35am. $3500/month. Plan to build a roof deck for TA7 instead. @BuzzFeedDIY

1:37pm. Wait for the G train. Take out same book as before. Turn to page one.

1:59pm. G train arrives. Finished the required reading and wrote the required Moodle post. #fuckingGtrain 2:22pm. Get to Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Nice enough neighborhood: historic brownstones, organic grocery, single-source coffee shop... OH THANK GOD A STARBUCKS. 3:00pm. At apartment #3. An average-looking guy with a fanny pack and an eye-patch opens the door to a studio apartment. His breath smells like alcohol and he slurs his words.

3:08pm. Mention I’m a Vassar student. He says he graduated Bard in the 70’s. That explains it.

3:15pm. While the place has no real bedrooms, it’s the entire fourth floor of the building. It gets great light in the morning and has private access to the roof deck, apparently.

3:17pm. The roof deck is a roof. Private access to four cable TV dishes and a chimney. Great for death by four-story-fall and not barbecues.

3:30pm. Call the man in the UWS and frantically place a bid. He says, no need—the place is mine. Weep with joy.

Guest Columnist

T

here are a few consistent truths in my life.

One is that I will always eat all of the bacon in front of me, regardless of how hungry I am. That counts whatever bacon is on your plate. I’m eating it. Another is that I will always think standing on rolling desk chairs to put up decorations (that violate fire safety rules in all 50 states) is a good idea, even though that consistently leads to me on the floor, wrapped in several strands of Christmas lights holding a piece of ceiling tile. I always bring down my Political Science readings to do “during the commercials” of the newest Game of Thrones episode, and an hour later my knowledge of the inter-workings of Korean politics is unchanged, but I will have 40 new and excessively elaborate ways I want to be able to braid my hair. However, the most invariable truth of my life is that I will, forever, be truly awful at talking to strangers. Like, traumatically awful.

This is the kind of personality trait that, were it capable of change, it would be different by now.

Trust me, it’s something I would have worked on. Working as a waitress or going to college or studying abroad would have fixed that, and I would now interact in a normal way with other human beings. However, this is not the case. It’s actually a minor miracle I have any close personal friends at all. In fact, the first time I spoke to my boyfriend, I yelled “HELLO MY NAME IS LILY IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU” at him, with no introduction or context, and then sprinted away in the opposite direction. Really fast. Without waiting for a response. I ran into a door. But, you know, I didn’t want things to get “awkward.” The first thing I did upon meeting my freshman year roommate was ask her if she liked cheese. Then I handed her some. No one wants to live with that girl; the girl who hands out stinky cheese to strangers. There’s a place for people like that, and it’s called France.

It’s pretty easy to tell when I am meeting someone new, because I will most likely be speaking at a really unnecessary volume, and all of my words will blend into one, long, Mary Poppins-esque word. Sometimes I just make up words, especially in a foreign language. While abroad, I have spoken to my fair share of strangers. Most of them now think I have a speaking disability, because I take completely normal, easy words and change around one or two letters, making it absolutely unrecognizable. For example, “niente” is a word, “miento” is not. They are not the same. If I think you are “cool” or “funny”

or “nice,” I will probably make our conversation as minimal as possible, so that I don’t accidentally share too much information with you or ask you inappropriately personal questions.

The issue of too much information is key when it comes to my lack of ability to make friends like a regular person. For example, what is the appropriate joke to make to someone you just met at orientation? You know nothing about them. Do you wait for them to bring up awkward freshman activities and usher in a clever and yet flirtatious conversation, or do you just yell something incoherent about “Gays of Our Lives” and how you and that blonde girl have the same favorite pair of underwear? Mostly I go for the second option. This is a fairly extensive issue, and honestly, judging by the fact that whenever we go by an ancient building with huge brass knockers on the doors, my mom feels the need to yell “LOOK AT THOSE KNOCKERS,” I can’t help it. It’s genetic. Like my weird ear thing (don’t ask...ah alright, go ahead and ask, I’ll show ya. It’s REAL GROSS, THOUGH).

Of course, all of this makes the ACDC an incredibly difficult place to exist in. Before I left for college, I was told by maybe a dozen people that I should just “sit down at a random table and make friends!”. Ha, ha. Ha. Casual. But no. It’s not nearly that simple. To start with, there are two sides. And within these sides, there are multiple rooms that you can choose to sit on. How am I supposed to be able to talk to strangers when on my first week in the Deece I accidentally walk into a room where all of the workers are taking their break and it takes me like five minutes to realize that a few of them aren’t even speaking English (or any other language I recognize?) and that probably no one over the age of 30 is a Vassar freshman.

There is also the issue of the egg and pancake stations, where I feel like I should be making conversation with people but honestly I am a little hungover and my slippers are in the shape of small woodland creatures and now is not the time for me to talk about Cartoon Network at a high volume. For some reason people don’t like talking about the mayor from “The Powerpuff Girls” when they have splitting Crystal Palace headaches.

Really, what it all comes down to, is that if the next time I talk to you, and I say something really uncomfortable and/or personal and then sprint away, you should know that I want to be your friend. I’d recommend following up on it. Maybe just don’t let me speak for a month or two. Or eight.

From my microwave to yours: Easy student meals

by Zachary Herwitz, Guest Columnist

The following is an excerpt from the new bestselling cookbook, “Planning Meals without a Meal Plan,” Chapter 5: “101 Ways to Prepare Spaghetti-Os! (or Less Uh-Oh!, more Yum-Oh!)” Bonjour and bon appetite! So you forgot to go to grocery shopping. Again. Whoops! A thousand questions must be rushing across your mind: What will I bring to my friend’s potluck?

Does kale go bad? Will I eat ever again? Fear not, hungry senior/off-campus resident/smart underclassman! In this chapter, we will be discussing over a hundred ways to prepare nature’s most versatile ingredient: Spaghetti-Os! The Classic Take a knife (or can opener if you have one,

Mr. Moneybags) and open your can of Spaghetti-Os. Note the color for freshness. A pale dried-blood red is optimal, but colors ranging from gray-red to just-kind-of-purplish are also ideal. Pour into a bowl, cup, or plate (adventurous eaters only!!!) and place directly into microwave. Zap for precisely 1-7 minutes.

Grab a tea spoon, soup spoon, or fork (adventurous eaters only!!!) and enjoy! Yummo!!

Beef Ramen Spaghetti-Os Open can of Spaghetti-Os. Pour it into some beef ramen that you already made like half an hour ago and is just sitting, tepid, on your counter. Mix to taste. Deeeelish!!

(For more, see Chapter 14: “Nommin’ on some Ramen”)

Spaghetti-Os a la Vodka Microwave Spaghetti-Os. Drink Vodka until you forget you’re eating Spaghetti-Os. Bon Appetite!!

The Vegan See Chapter 28: “Cheap Vegan Eats - Do They Exist? No, They Don’t.”

Ritzy Spaghetti-Os Open can of Spaghetti-Os. Microwave, then throw away and eat an entire box of Ritz Crackers instead. Your organs will thank you.

Sauteed Savoy Cabbage with Scallions and Garlic Meatballs Bien Cuit One of my favorites. Cook scallion whites

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

and garlic in oil in a 12-inch heavy skillet over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until garlic is pale golden, about 3 minutes. Stir in cabbage and meatballs, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper and sauté 1 minute. Add water and cook, tightly covered, until cabbage is wilted, about 3 minutes. Add scallion greens and cook, uncovered, stirring, until most of water has evaporated and cabbage is tender, about 2 minutes. Season with salt and pepper.

Serve with a giant bowl of Spaghetti-Os. I hope you’ve enjoyed this excerpt as much as you are sure to enjoy my tasty, nutritious recipes. For more Spaghetti-Os Du Jour, be sure to purchase the full volume! From my microwave to yours, au revoir!

ARTS

Page 14

April 4, 2013

‘Company’: an introspective, witty takedown of marriage Jack Owen Arts Editor

F

Katie de Heras/The Miscellany News

uture Waitstaff of America (FWA) has taken on the ambitious project of putting up an intricate musical in just six weeks: Stephen Sonheim’s 1970 classic comedy, Company.

“It is difficult to coordinate such an elaborate musical in only six weeks,” reflected director Amy Corenswet ’13 in an emailed statement. But with the help of her committed cast and crew, the show has come together. “They are truly superstars who put in insane hours to pull the show together, and are fantastic to collaborate with,” she added.

The musical will be performed tonight at 8 pm, Friday at 7:30 p.m., and Saturday at 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. in the Susan Stein Shiva Theater.

As the last show she will be involved with at Vassar, Corenswet chose Company for its strong ensemble parts, humor and depth. She has been heavily involved with FWA throughout her Vassar career. She directed FWA’s production of She Loves Me last year and stage-managed You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown during the fall of her sophomore year.

Corenswet sees her current project as an exciting challenge to capstone her work at the College. “Company is a perfect college musical—it has 14 excellent parts that give the actors lots to work with; it’s witty and deep, challenging and entertaining, and is open to enough interpretation that the creative team can let their juices flow,” she wrote in an emailed statement.

The show explores the themes of marriage and relationships in New York City, and it is told through a series of vignettes surrounding the main character, Robert, a thirty-five year old bachelor. Corenswet decided to structure the show a little differently than how it is typically done. “I wanted to create a more

Future Waitstaff of America’s upcoming production of the classic Sondheim comedy Company explores marriage and relationships—their follies and their joys—through a series of loosely connected vignettes. cohesive story line, so I envisioned the entire show as happening in a single moment of crisis for Robert on his 35th birthday,” she explained in an emailed statement. “In our production, the first and last moments of the show are the only ones that take place in real time. Everything else is either a flashback—a memory of encounters Robert has had with friends and girlfriends over the years—or takes place in a kind of limbo where Robert explores his own fears and insecurities about marriage with the sometimes unsolicited advice of those same friends and girlfriends.”

Ryan Norris ’14, who plays Robert and is

on stage for the entire show, has starred in two other FWA productions, including Altar Boyz and Into the Woods. When casting for the show, Corenswet was pleased to find a multi-talented actor who has taken on her conception of the play as a single moment and run with it. “[Ryan] has been key in helping me to develop the concept of the musical as a moment of crisis for Bobby,” she said. According to Norris, developing the character of Robert in such a compressed amount of time has been challenging, but the cast and crew’s cohesion and drive has made it very rewarding. “This process was one of the most difficult I’ve been

a part of because of the amount of time we had to prepare,” he wrote in an emailed statement.

“A month and a half to put up a Sondheim musical is no easy task, but it’s been a load of fun working very hard with an extremely talented group.”

Sondheim musicals are notorious for their complex, beautiful lyricism—and difficulty to learn and sing. “Any music that Sondheim has been a part of writing is undoubtedly very difficult to learn,” Norris said. “This is my third Sondheim musical through FWA, and honestly, learning the music has not gotten any easier.”

Though on the surface the show may not seem pertinent to most college students because it deals with marriage, Sarah Zickel ’14, who plays one of Robert’s married friends, Susan, asserted that its themes are universal.

“When this show was originally proposed there was a little hesitation about putting up a show that focuses on marriage for a college community because most of us have not been married or even thought about it,” she explained. “But this show teaches you a lot about human relationships in general. It’s not necessarily just about marriage and the institution.

It’s about connecting with someone.”

Company, though told through a comedic lens, delves into topics of loneliness and the very human need for companionship. In addition, it questions the pervasion of marriage as an institution, and calls on the audience to reflect on what makes for a strong relationship. “Although it is overtly about marriage, it’s really about finding people who push you to be your better self,” explained Corenswet.

“The show is tremendously entertaining and can be enjoyed superficially, but it also pushes the audience, if the audience lets it, to confront and question their own beliefs about relationships—both romantic and platonic.”

‘Eurydice’ shifts Greek myth’s focus from hero to heroine

courtesy of The New York Times

Sarah Ruhl’s Eurydice recasts the tale of Orpheus and his wife Eurydice into the tale of Eurydice and her husband Orpheus. This shift in perspective invests Euryidice with an angency she lacks in the original Greek tale.

Margaret Yap

guEst rEportEr

A

week from today the Drama department will present its opening performance of renowned playwright Sarah Ruhl’s Eurydice. Its cast of seven actors will perform in the Powerhouse Theater at 8 p.m. from April 11 to 13.

The shows, which will run for approximately seventy minutes each, are free and open to the public. Seating, however, is limited, so be sure to call the box office to make your reservations soon.

The inspiration for the play is the Greek myth of the musician Orpheus and his lover Eurydice, who dies of a snake bite on their wedding day. When Orpheus travels to the Underworld, Hades agrees to release Eurydice if Orpheus does not look at her until she reenters the land of the living. Orpheus does not adhere to this requirement, and Eurydice is sent back to the realm of the dead.

In Ruhl’s play, Eurydice has the power: she must choose between her husband and her father, whom she has met again in the Underworld. Ruhl, who will discuss her play and other topics during her visit to Vassar on April 10, wrote in an emailed statement: “I meant to relocate the story to Eurydice’s point of view, and to have her represent language and [him] represent music.”

Therefore, Ruhl’s Eurydice has more agency, which gives the story a different tone than the classic Greek tale’s. “Ruhl’s telling of the story is exciting because her Eurydice does make choices, does make mistakes, does have a part in shaping her fate,” wrote Lexi Diamond ’13, the production’s dramaturge, in an emailed statement.

“This Eurydice is wise and funny and sensitive and strong, but this Eurydice is also grieving. Giving her this depth makes the story so much more complicated, but also so much

more relatable.”

Diamond, a fan of Greek and Roman mythology, is very excited to work with a play that reinterprets these classic subjects. “The play itself is one of my all-time favorites,” Diamond wrote in an emailed statement. “I’ve always loved Greek and Roman mythology, and I love pieces that can introduce an entirely new perspective to well-known, often-adapted stories.

With Eurydice, Sarah Ruhl takes a story that is epic and archetypal and makes it extraordinarily personal.”

“The most difficult part of this production is not being able to replicate the breathtaking phenomena Ruhl creates with her words,” wrote assistant director Kate Shelton ’15 in an emailed statement, “but [it’s] also the most fun part because it forces us to find ways of evoking the same emotions with the resources we have.”

For director Ianthe Demos ‘00, who sees Eurydice as a piece that confronts loss and how we commemorate lost loved ones, realizing these concepts has not always been easy. “The piece is written very much as a landscape,” she said.

Demos explained that deciding the direction to take the audience in was perhaps the most challenging aspect.

“I think it is very much inside somebody’s head, so trying to figure out what trajectory we were going to take our audience on and what was the actual path we were trying to build from and into—that’s probably been the trickiest part.”

Despite the sometimes challenging nature of this production, Demos enjoys working with Vassar students. “There was a lot of creative energy in the room,” she said. “There was an incredible ability from a very young group of actors to bring new things to the table constantly.”

Assistant Director Kaylene George ’14 appreciates Demos’ directing style. “From the beginning, she just wanted to have a general understanding of how everyone else was feeling about [the production],” she said. “She didn’t immediately give us directions—she let us flesh it out.”

Shelton also values Demos’ guidance and mentorship. “My favorite thing about [Demos],” she wrote in an emailed statement, “is the

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

energy she brings to every rehearsal; she runs full steam ahead from the first design meeting through strike, keeping everyone around her excited and motivated.”

Diamond spoke to her renowned talent as well. “[Demos] has a spectacular ability to balance the whimsical and playful with the dark and tragic, a talent that benefits this piece in particular,” wrote Diamond in an emailed statement. “[She] works at a very fast pace and is always willing to try a totally new approach to see how it will speak to the story. She grounds all the playfulness and experimentation that take place during the rehearsal process in her very sensitive and understanding relationship to the text.”

The most difficult part of her job as the production’s dramaturg, wrote Diamond, is the age of the story itself. This factor has required Diamond to research and sift through the endless pile of allusions to this story throughout history.

“It’s been daunting but exciting to try to trace all origins of and reference[s] to this story throughout time, since there are just so many of them,” she explained in an emailed statement.

During her research, Diamond discovered a lot of intriguing information that took her stdies down different directions, which was both a positive and a negative thing. “There were also a lot of fun surprises in the research that would take my process places I never expected it to go, but it’s hard to let go of those tangential discoveries and refocus,” she wrote in an emailed statement. “The process is only so long and the research can only be so useful before it’s what happens in the rehearsal room and the design meetings that really matters,” she added.

For George, interpreting the script itself is a challenging task. “[Ruhl is] a very imaginative, creative person,” she said, “and she’s hard to keep up with.”

Despite the complexity of Ruhl’s text, it remains an eloquent and unique account of love, grief, and loss. As Shelton explained in an emailed statement, “the pure beauty of Ruhl’s poetry, and its ability to relate to each audience member despite its mythological context, will stay with the audience long after the show ends.”

April 4, 2013

ARTS

Page 15

Briscoe offers a helping hand for the studio artist in need Jack Owen Arts Editor

S

Katie de Heras/The Miscellany News

culpture Studio Technician Mark Briscoe is Vassar art students’ go-to source for help with any number of things relating to the construction process in art, ranging from welding and mixing plaster to painting and building canvas stretchers. He also ensures that the Vassar Art Department is in accordance with the Environmental Protection Agency’s (EPA) laws, and takes care of the dark room. “It’s really a multi-faceted job,” Briscoe explained.

A native Oklahoman, Briscoe majored in Art at Southwestern Oklahoma State University, mostly working with pottery. It was not until he began pursuing a Master’s in Fine Arts at The University of Texas at San Antonio that he began to shift his work from pottery to sculpture, incorporating a wider array of materials into his pieces, such as metal, and creating ceramic shapes rather than pottery.

As an artist, Briscoe is inspired by scientific ideas, such as electricity, movement of energy and magnetism, and many of his pieces are interactive.

For instance, with one of his pieces, the spectator turns a crank that sets a ceramic ball in motion, and then another, which conveys a wave of movement. In his drawings, Briscoe is mostly inspired by shapes, particularly the development of abstract forms.

Briscoe decided to take some time off from graduate school, and gained teaching experience through a teaching fellowship at a small college in Kansas, and later taught ceramics courses at a university in Oklahoma City. He came to Vassar in 2000, working part time with the Art department.

But after Vassar was fined by the EPA, and with the addition of photography courses and the student-run photography group, Phocus,

Briscoe was hired full time. And according to many studio art students, he has proven to be an invaluable source of knowledge and mentorship.

“He simply knows everything. And he knows how everything is made,” wrote Vassar alumna Samantha Ives ’12 in an emailed statement. Ives worked with Briscoe on a sculpture project last year, in which she made several casts of baby bottles.

“The only way I had ever made casts before then was a super tedious process that was going to require using the kiln and days of waiting for each cast to dry,” she wrote.

“When I talked to [Briscoe], he knew exactly what to do.”

For Briscoe, working with students is perhaps the most rewarding aspect of his job.

“The students are great at Vassar,” he said.

“It’s so rewarding when I’m helping a student with something, like teaching them how to weld, and all of a sudden I see a connection and I just know that the student has got it.”

Briscoe familiarizes students with new processes, and then lets them try them on their own. “Some students don’t like to have help, although if I’m walking by and I see something wrong I’ll let them know that they should do this or change this, while there are other students who are really into talking about various techniques,” he explained.

“Getting a bunch of college students to do something can be like herding cats,” he said with a laugh. “I try not to push myself on anybody or be an authority figure, but sometimes that [is] the role I end up taking on.”

One student whom Briscoe has worked on several projects with is Maxine Puorro ‘13, the most recent being a large, 25 foot necklace sculpture made of large wooden blocks with a rope that runs through the whole piece. “An important aspect of its construction is that it is modular,” she explained in an emailed

Sculpture Studio Technician Mark Briscoe holds aloft a caricature of him drawn by a former student.

Briscoe is the studio art student’s go-to, multi-talented source for help solving any and all technical problems. statement. “The pieces can fit together in a number of ways, and the rope allows the work to be installed in many different configurations depending on the space it is inhabiting.” The sculpture will be exhibited in the Senior Art Show in May. Puorro insists that working with Briscoe has been extremely helpful. “Mark was a huge help to me, from the beginnings of drafting designs and construction methods for the project to transporting it to be installed. (I’m guessing that it weighs well over 200 pounds so I absolutely could not have moved it by myself ),” she wrote.

“He is always perceptive as to when I settle for an idea or construction that I could devel-

ADVERTISEMENTS

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

op further and encourages me to push harder.

In addition to that he has a huge breadth of knowledge about materials and construction which he is happy (and very patient I should add) to share with me and other students,” she explained. “His guidance has really given me the freedom to explore materials of which I had no previous knowledge and to take on projects that I would have not thought possible before Mark introduced me to new skills and ways of thinking over the past two years.”

For those interested in seeing Briscoe’s own work, he will have a show in the Palmer Gallery next February that will feature his sculpture and drawing.

ARTS

Page 16

April 4, 2013

Photographer Spiegel to offer critiques for willing novices Emma Daniels rEportEr

T

Hudson Valley

Arts

Jonah Bleckner/The Miscellany News

his month PHOCUS, Vassar’s photography club, is hosting its annual lecture series.

Every Monday at 8:00 p.m. in Rocky 310 during the month of April, PHOCUS brings a professional photographer to lecture and critique student work.

“Last year we did the lecture series, and it was a good way to get people involved with PHOCUS,” said member Emily Whicheloe ’14.

PHOCUS, as Vassar’s only student photography club, celebrates the photographer’s unique perspective. “The role of PHOCUS is to reaffirm the value and importance of the photographer as an artistic voice,” said member Alden Rose ’14.

Last Monday, Paolo Nigris, an engineer and biomedical software designer from Tenafly, NJ., came to talk.

Although his main career is as a software designer, he regularly exhibits fine art photography and his works have appeared in many travel and photography publications. Other lecturers include Meredith Heuer, Billy Name, and Ted Spiegel.

Meredith Heuer is a photographer from Beacon, NY. She was chosen as one of Photo District News’ 30 emerging artists in 2001, has received numerous awards for her photography and shoots for magazines such as Fortune, Gourmet and Time.

Billy Name is an American photographer, filmmaker and lighting designer from Poughkeepsie. He is known for his brief romance, friendship and collaboration with Andy Warhol. He was the archivist of the Warhol Factory from 1964 to 1970, and Name’s understanding of theater and lighting was an important influence on the look and ambience of The Factory and Warhol’s early films. In 2001, the United States Postal Service used one of Billy Name’s portraits of Warhol when it issued a commemorative stamp of the artist. Name is a frequent contributor to New York based photo arts mag-

Local photographer Ted Spiegel—who has often shot for National Geographic Magazine—will not only discuss his work, but offer feedback to student photographers that attend his PHOCUS-sponsored lecture. azine Lid. Next Monday, Ted Spiegel is coming to talk.

Spiegel is a local photographer who has worked more than 30 years in the field of photography, often shooting for National Geographic Magazine. Spiegel has traveled to over 60 countries, but is most passionate about his home, the Hudson River Valley. He has also produced several picture books, including ones on the Hudson River Valley, Saratoga, New York and West Point.

Speigel’s biography on the National Geographic website espouses his zest for his home: “He’s covered assignments across the globe, but like the 19th-century artists of the famed Hudson River School, he’s made the Hudson River Valley the focus of much of his life’s work.”

It also notes that he uses photography as a

‘SimCity’ poorly rehashes past formulas Despite new coat of paint, lackluster results “SimCity” Maxis Games Electronic Arts

Betsy Jacaruso Studio and Gallery

Through April 27 43 East Market St., Rhinebeck, NY Exhibition “Verdant Spring” features works by artist Betsy Jarusco and pieces b Cross River Artists.

Hours: Thurs-Sat. noon-6pm; Sun. 11am-4pm and by appointment Gallery 66 NY

Through April 18, June 16 66 Main St., Cold Spring, NY Come see “Cuts & Assemblages,” a collection of collages, and “The Sacred Garden” featuring local artists.

6-9pm SUNY New Paltz

Through June 23 75 South Manheim Road, New Paltz, NY Samuel Dorsky Museum of Art Make the trip to New Paltz to see West African photography and works by SUNY New Paltz Professor of Photography Francoise Deschamp.

Wed.-Sun. 11 am-5pm.

Barrett Art Center

Through April 20 55 Noxon St., Poughkeepsie, NY Check out “Kinetic,” an exhibition of 2D and 3D pieces illustrating movement.

Wed.-Fri. 10am-4pm

medium to encourage appreciation and respect for the environment’s beauty: “Spiegel’s love of the landscape and positive attitude infuse all his images, [and he] sees his landscape photography as a way to make people aware of the beauty in nature and a way to, in turn, encourage people to help protect and save the environment.”

A key element of the lecture series is bringing photographers from the Poughkeepsie area to campus. “It’s encouraging to see the work of practicing local photographers, and to see their enthusiasm in the projects they come up with,” noted Rose.

Spiegel also iterated his goals, and what he will present at the lecture. “My task is essentially capturing time,” Spiegel said. He will be presenting three different selections of his

work that represent different approaches to this mission. The first selection is seasons in the Hudson Valley. The second selection is four years he spent photographing the class of 1992 for West Point, at West Point. The third selection is an overview of the time he has spent as a photojournalist and how that has evolved through photographing particular zones of interest: i.e., people and places, historic time and environment.

Monica D. Church, local artist, PHOCUS’s faculty advisor and the associate director of the Palmer Gallery, recruited Spiegel to talk to Vassar students, and feels that his experiences will be illuminating for the group.

She said, “Spiegel has a great love for the Hudson River and sailing and I often watch him shoot on the Hudson River. He is a generous teacher and very accessible. I thought PHOCUS would gain a great deal from learning about his experiences as a National Geographic Photographer as well as how he has transitioned from film to digital and continues to publish his photographs on projects that primarily focus on the Hudson Valley.”

Spiegel noted that he hopes to share words of wisdom with budding photographers.

“I’m aware that I’m speaking to people young to photography who have the opportunity to create their own documents, and hope to demonstrate that photographers can share a form of vitality with other people through their work.”

He also will be critiquing Vassar student work, and any individual who comes to the lecture can submit their work, not only PHOCUS members.

PHOCUS member Daniel Bialer ’15 said, “You don’t have to be a photographer to come to the lecture, you just have to be interested.”

Member Margot Beauchamp added, “I’m super excited about this opportunity to engage students through this series, not only with PHOCUS but with photography in general.”

Max Rook Columnist

T

he SimCity series is one of those game franchises that never seems to change significantly. Since the release of the original game in 1989, there have only been four official sequels, not counting the spin-offs and console versions, and the last of those sequels was 2003’s “SimCity 4.” The formula those sequels have generally followed is to make the simulation deeper, to allow players to create bigger and more complex cities.

The newest release in the series, titled simply “SimCity,” breaks from that pattern, and offers a new take on the city-building mechanics, focusing on the introduction of online multiplayer. Unfortunately, in doing so, the game reduces the scope of the city simulation, and it hides too much information from the player, making it difficult to understand how the new mechanics actually work.

The major innovation of “SimCity”is its new multiplayer functions, a concept which at first glance seems bizarre for a series that is usually such a solitary experience. This new game changes that by offering a larger context for your city. Rather than just existing in some nebulous space, your city is now a part of a larger region, one made up of other cities like your own.

You can control those other cities yourself, or you can allow other players to do so. Once multiple cities exist within a region, they begin to interact in passive ways, lending support to each other. If one city is generating excess power, other cities nearby can buy that power for their own use.

Additionally, all of the cities in a region can

work together to build Great Works, massive structures requiring large amounts of resources which offer benefits to all of the nearby cities.

These options for interaction are never particularly intrusive, and they offer some fascinating possibilities by encouraging specialization within a city, which previous games in the series did not do. Technological advancements researched in one city benefit everyone in the region, so if one player is focused on gaining access to the best trade buildings, other players can work on different areas.

One of my more successful cities was one where I rushed towards building the high-level education buildings in order to create a populace well-educated enough to safely run a nuclear power plant, and then made money by selling the excess power to my neighbors.

However, while specializing in one or two areas offers a nice change of pace from the series’ typical progression, “SimCity” doesn’t just encourage you to specialize, it forces you to do so.

Every city you build is constricted by tight borders, preventing you from expanding past a certain point. You will run up against those borders shockingly quickly, and while you can still improve your city by creating higher density and higher quality buildings, those borders are a constant reminder that there is a limit to how successful your city can be.

There is no possible way to build a city that can do everything the game offers. The closest you can get is to build multiple cities within a region, and eventually cover all of the specializations available. Doing that would take an enormous time investment, and it would also force you to deal with the game’s two crippling flaws: its major technical problems, and the bizarre lack of information it offers the player.

The game’s technical issues, admittedly, will become less problematic as Maxis continues to work on the game. Already, the game is much more playable than it was at release,

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

when servers would be down for days at a time, and the developers actually had to disable some features to allow more players access to the game.

These technical problems all stem from the fact that the game must be played online, and it constantly communicates with a server as a result. Theoretically, that is fine, but in practice it means that many of the interactions between cities happen much slower than intended. In one instance, another player sent me money to attempt to bail me out of a problem I was having, and I did not receive it until hours later.

The game’s reticence to explain how its systems work is a more fundamental flaw in the design. In an attempt to make the game more accessible than previous iterations, the developers simplified many of the more complex aspects of the simulation, or they at least appeared to do so. Because of this simplification, it becomes difficult to diagnose and solve problems. When one of my cities began to build up excess garbage, the only solution the game suggested was to build more dumps and recycling centers.

When I did that, my situation only improved slightly. By closely examining the problem and consulting online sources, I was able to figure out that the problem was centered around my traffic flow. Unfortunately, the only real solution for traffic problems is to rebuild your road infrastructure, which requires destroying parts of your city.

“SimCity” makes a great first impression, and its audio and visual presentation is topnotch, but the more time you spend with it the more apparent its problems become. It’s difficult to get attached to any of your cities, because it is usually easier to just start again from scratch when you encounter a major problem.

For a game that should be about allowing you to marvel at your city, it is too often a confusing and frustrating experience.

ARTS

April 4, 2013

Page 17

Thao cultivates new signature sound(s) ‘We the Common’ Thao with the Get Down Stay Down

Steven Williams Arts Editor

T

hao Nguyen and her band The Get Down Stay Down have always produced music which, no matter how pop-infused, remains folk rock marked by subtle grittiness.

Their albums We Brave Bee Stings and All and Know Better, Learn Faster are filled with longing and regret, many times masked with upbeat tempos or the catchy twang of a banjo.

And it has always been distinctive, just like Nguyen herself, who defies typical conceptions of folk rock as a young Vietnamese woman who commands the stage with her howling voice and deft stringed instrument playing. But Thao and the Get Down Stay Down’s 2013 album, “We the Common,” is an evolution in their music so distinct and powerful, it seems that they have discovered a signature sound. Or as the diversity of musical textures would suggest, signature sounds.

Take the lead track, for example. The more I listen to the first song on the album, “We the Common (For Valerie Bolden)”, the more I am impressed by its duality. It begins as a reminder of just how much Nguyen is influenced by classical folk sounds and her affinity for the banjo. But soon after the basic twangy intro, it transforms into a full-sounding anthem, topped off with a multi-voiced chorus. It switches back to simple folk ballad almost at will until the two seem to morph together.

“City”, the next track on the album, confronts the first song with an almost polar opposite intro-riff, this time marked by the wailing of a heavily distorted guitar. But in the trend established by the opener, the hardened sound of the guitar is complimented by the airy sound of a xylophone coming over the top. These first two songs display Nguyen’s ability to combine conceivably disparate sounds into a single, hard to pin down sound.

Calmer but remarkably complex ballads like “We Don’t Call” and “The Feeling Kind” follow up “City” in a way that brings the lis-

Campus Canvas

tener down a little from the intensity of the opening songs.

These tracks hearken back a little more to Nguyen’s earlier sound, particularly emphasizing the understated sadness in her moaning vocals. However, they still experiment with some of the musical motifs that are sprinkled throughout this album, such as a light piano and soulful saxaphone not typically present in her early work. The fifth track on the album, “Holy Roller”, was one of the most publicized songs on the album previous to its release, and for good reason.

Like “We the Common (For Valerie Bolden),” it puts the banjo at the forefront and ambles through the verse.

But the chorus becomes one of the most emblematic sections of the album, both lyr-

“Nguyen herself... defies typical conceptions of folk rock as a young Vietnamese woman.” sTeVen WilliaMs ‘14 ically and musically: “Holy Roller, roll over me, I’m looking for else to see. Lasts so long, hurts so bad, but I want love in the aftermath.” The single most charming song on the album is “Kindness be Conceived,” a duet featuring Nguyen and indie folk sweetheart Joanna Newsom. Their voices meld perfectly to the backdrop of Nguyen’s driving acoustic guitar, resulting in folk ballad that, frankly, wells me up with emotion every time I listen to it. The gentleness of Newsom’s gentle voice combined with Nguyen’s, a little rougher around the edges, results in an inspiring product.

Instrumentally, “We the Common” features incredible diversity. Nguyen is masterful in all manner of stringed instruments, including guitar (both acoustic and electric), banjo and a particularly jaunty electric mandolin. Her guitar style, as I have witnessed

live in promotion of this album, is quite distinct.

She seems to use a grip known as a clawhammer, a type of fingerpicking used by guitarists like Dire Straits virtuoso Mark Knopfler which result in very light, fluttering melodies. Bass also plays a prominent role in the mix of the album, providing a necessary thump to the low end, as highlighted on “The Day Long,” which follows up “Kindness be Conceived” with a much darker sound. And the juxtaposition of dirty, overdriven guitar riffs to twangy banjo and hollow-body guitar melodies throughout the album is key device in evoking a variety of emotions in the listener.

The mix is done particularly well. Bass does feature prominently in certain songs but is never overpowering (an impressive feat as not enough bass could have severely detracted from many tracks). Similarly, the use of saxaphone gives this album a nice, balanced jazz feel to it in all the right places.

I would be remiss not to mention the excellent work of drummer Adam Thompson.

The rhythms are incredibly precise but undeniably powerful. Additionally, Thompson has been the one consistent member of The Get Down Stay Down, and deserves praise for helping shape Nguyen’s sound over the years.

“We the Common” is an impressive album front to back. There are really no weak songs on here. Perhaps more impressive, however, is the album’s unity. It truly works as an album and not just a collection of songs.

Moods change, and different kinds of sounds become the focus as it progresses along. Still, many of the songs are the kind that you can turn on and sing along to at the top of your lungs.

Finally, it is worth noting that Nguyen is the kind of person who should be in the running for perfect human being. Besides being an active partner of Oxfam, the title track (which contains the words “For Valerie Bolden”) was written for a female prisoner which she met while volunteering in a Bay Area women’s penitentiary. So, while Nguyen may be a brilliant artist, she is also simply a good human being, producing truly meaningful work.

A weekly space highlighting the creative pursuits of student-artists

立ち話 あの日はどこにいたの？ どうしていたの？ これで十分だ 会話の始まりは あの日、 私は家にいた 私は仕事をしていた 私は子供を迎えに行く途中だった 寒かったよね 雪が降っていたもの

Small Talk Where were you on That Day? What were you doing?

Like this, our conversations begin− On That Day, I was at home I was at work I was going to pick up my child It was cold, wasn’t it For it was snowing That Day

それから、 避難所へいったの 実家でお世話になったの 一本のロウソクを囲んでご飯を食べて 帰らぬ人を待って 近所の井戸から水をもらって助かった 静かだったね 車が走っていなくて みんな黙って歩いていた しばらくすると自転車が増えて 街の自転車屋さんが急に忙しくなった 会う人ごとに、一人ひとりの物語

Excuse me, What’s your favorite Nickelback song?

“Photograph. I’m just gonna say that one.”

—Grace Riley‘15

“Honestly I have none.

And no one should.”

—Khasi-Marc Jamieson‘16

“The one that doesn’t suck.”

—David Piwarski ‘14

submit to misc@vassar.edu

“I am not familiar with that pop culture reference.”

—Meropi Papastergiou ‘15

この人もいない 立ち話はつきない 半年たっても 会話はあの日から始まる 日が経につれて あの日が忘れられていくのではなく あの日に戻る よりあざやかに

あの人もいない

Then, I went to the rescue shelter I went to my parents’ home We encircled a single candle and ate our dinner and waited for those who never came home Received water from a neighbor’s well Wasn’t it so quiet?

No cars on the roads, Everyone silently walking

That person isn’t here This person isn’t here The everlasting small talk Even after six months, Our conversations begin with That Day

After That Day, the bicycles increased and the village bicycle shop found itself suddenly busy

Memories revived

“Gotta be Somebody.”

—Jeremy Brick‘15

Encounters of everyone’s individual story

Even with the passage of time We cannot escape That Day We are trapped in That Day

—Poems by Naomi Chiba and translated by Maria Ichizawa ‘14

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

“Is Nickelback still a thing?”

—Suanny Vizcaino ‘15

Steven Williams, Arts Editor Jack Owen, Arts Editor Jiajing Sun, Assistant Photo Editor

SPORTS

Page 18

April 4, 2013

Women’s lacrosse begins season with sweeping victories Chris Brown

AssistAnt sports Editor

A

courtesy of Vassar College Athletics

fter a tough spring break, many teams seek to improve their season record. However, with an experienced team and a lot of wins under their belt so early in the season, the year is looking promising as women’s lax seeks to make it to Liberty League playoffs, a feat that has not been achieved by the team in many years.

The team opened their season down in West Palm Beach, Fla. They played two games in total and easily swept their opponents, beating Fitchburg State College 15-2 and Ohio Wesleyan University 19-8. These easy wins were very crucial for the beginning of the season, according to Assistant Coach Jen Ascencio.

“Our first few games were much needed,” Ascencio expressed in an emailed statement. “We came out strong and every player got playing time which is certainly a goal for each game.

We did manage to get away with a few mistakes in those games but it was good. They gave us a change to iron out the kinks before we start league play.”

Ascencio, who is in her second year as an assistant coach here at Vassar, is very optimistic about the season. “Coming into the season I expected and hoped that our aggression and willingness to love and embrace pressure would finally take heed. I have been pleasantly surprised thus far,” wrote Ascencio. “The fight within them and the hard work ethic they are putting in each day is certainly paying off. They take themselves and their teammates very seriously and I believe their team dynamic is stronger than ever. Watching this group of women play, work, and interact with each other leads me to believe that a Liberty League championship is very possible and I think that could certainly be a goal this season.”

Yet the strong start has not been with-

Paige Abramowitz ’16 defends the goal in a recent match. The women’s lacrosse team spent break in training in preparation for what is shaping up to be a promising spring season after early wins. out tough matches. The team is 1-1 in Liberty League matches so far, beating University of Rochester 19-7 and losing in a tight match to the Rochester Institute of Technology 11-13.

“We only really saw our first real battle against RIT on Sunday,” wrote senior co-captain Marissa Reilly. “It was a very challenging game as we were within one goal for the majority of the game. RIT was certainly surprised by how different of a team we are this year compared to last.”

As a captain, Reilly takes on a lot of responsibility when it comes to the team’s success.

“Our jobs as captains is to be an example, whether that be being a work horse out on the

field or making a generous gesture to another player,” conveyed Reilly. “Our job is really to help foster a successful team dynamic through camaraderie, friendship and love.” However, the job is extremely fulfilling, as stated by senior co-captain Lindsay Haggerty. “Keeping 24 women constantly motivated and engaged is not as hard as it may sound because this team is extremely self motivated and always wants to be there,” Haggerty asserted. “I am beyond proud of every single person on the team this year.”

Yet in addition to the captains, all the players would agree that the success of the team so far would not be possible without the coaching

Brewers split tough series against top-ranked teams Meaghan Hughes and Chris Brown

sports Editor And AssistAnt sports Editor Men’s Baseball

This past weekend, the men’s baseball team split both doubleheaders against University of Rochester. The first game on Saturday was a 2-0 loss and Vassar was unable to make much headway in the game. Apart from three doubles from junior designated hitter Brett Zaziski, junior Dave Robbins and senior Mike Perrone, the Brewers did not match Rochester’s scoring plays in the fourth inning.

Later that night, the team came back to defeat Rochester 3-2 in a nine-inning game. Scoring began in the seventh inning when freshman Nick Johnson hit a double to bring in Perrone and senior catcher A.J. Kim. Rochester answered back in the eighth inning with two runs of their own to tie up the game. Zaziski’s single in the top of the ninth brought in Perrone to end the day. A major asset to the Brewers was the solid pitching of freshman Jonathan Hong, who pitched seven inning and allowed only four hits.

Senior pitcher Zander Mrlik was named Liberty League Pitcher of the Week as a result of his performance against Rochester. He gave up only one hit in the seven innings he pitched and maintains a 2-0 record on the mound. The next baseball game will be a home match against Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute on Saturday at 1 pm.

Men’s Volleyball

Last Friday and Saturday marked the Vassar Invitational for men’s volleyball. The Brewers went 2-2 for the weekend, defeating NYU Poly and losing to Nazareth College. Saturday’s game was a strong showing for the men, who won their game against Lancaster Bible College in three sets. Four teammates led the team with six kills, and junior outside hitter Joe Pyne made nine digs, and sophomore Colin White-Dzuro had 18 assists.

The next game against sixth ranked New Paltz was a harder match that resulted in a three

match loss 25-17, 25-23, 25-19. Senior middle hitter Patrick Donohue had a team-high seven kills, and fellow senior outside hitter Charlie Caldwell was chosen for the All-Tournament Team. This weekend leaves Vassar 19-10 in the season, and the team will have two matches left before UVC Championships.

Women’s Tennis

Vassar’s female tennis suffered a 0-9 loss on March 30 against the extremely experienced and 20 nationally ranked team from Skidmore College. Freshmen Winifred Yeates and Lauren Stauffer lost in a very close match against Skidmore’s doubles pair of Melissa Hirsch and Yumi Karlshoej, 9-8(4).The No. 2 doubles team also had close individual singles matches. Yeates went the distance in singles against Hirsch, losing 6-2, 2-6, 10-5 while Stauffer lost against Robyn Baird. Baird won the tiebreaker, 10-7. Freshman Kelsey Van Noy had, 6-4, 6-4 loss match against Skidmore’s Caroline Hobbs.

During a singles exhibition match, Sophmore Anisha Kurien lost in a tight double setter tie breaker, losing to Skidmore’s Rachel Plevinsky 2-6, 6-2, 10-6. The Brewers fall to 5-3 for the season and will next host Union College on Wednesday, April 3 at 4:00 pm.

Men’s Lacrosse

The Vassar College men’s lacrosse team were unable to defeat host Skidmore College and lost 14-4 on Saturday afternoon. Junior attacker Max Herman and freshman attacker Noah Parson each had a goal and an assist during the match, while sophomore midfielder Scott Brekne led both teams recovering seven ground balls. Vassar falls to 3-6 in the season and 0-2 in the League with the loss. The Brewers will next host St. Lawrence University on Saturday, April 6 at 1:00 pm during Vassar’s first NCAA Student Athlete Day, in which many teams will compete at home while Vassar students who attend will receive school-spirit attire. It also marks the halfway point in their Liberty League schedule for the season.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

staff. Freshman midfielder Isabelle Goldstein shared her thoughts on head coach Judy Finerghty. “Judy is a huge part of this team,” described Goldstein. “She is completely committed to every player on this team, on and off the field. She is primarily the reason why I became interested in Vassar as a junior in high school.”

Finerghty, who has been a Coach at Vassar for 20 years, is joined on the staff by Ascencio and Assistant Coach Mark Feltch, who has had a big impact on Goldstein’s individual game. “I cannot say enough about our volunteer assistant Mark Feltch. His knowledge of the game is unmatched. He focuses on the details that can often get lost working with such a big team.

He has transformed my offensive game and increased our discipline and ball movement on offense substantially,” wrote Goldstein.

Goldstein, one of four new freshman on the team, felt an immediate sense of team unity upon joining the squad. “I couldn’t be in a better place than here on the Vassar Women’s Lacrosse team,” expressed Goldstein. “I am surrounded by intelligent, talented, and motivated individuals that have made my experience here at school an amazing one. The relationships I’ve made with my teammates are the most meaningful and important ones I could have.

I feel comfortable with each and every person on this team. The chance to become close with not just other freshmen, but upperclassmen as well is one I really value.”

The Brewers determined to have a great season, and they want their opponents to see just how tough Vassar’s program is. “I would like others to see Vassar Women’s lax as a threat,” wrote Ascencio. “They should have to work hard and take multiple practices to prepare before they play us. I want them to view us as unpredictable. A team with many weapons and you’re not sure which ones they are going to pull out when you play against them.”

ADVERTISEMENT

April 4, 2013

SPORTS

Page 19

Ware’s gruesome injury highlights one-sided Baseball lacks dynamic between colleges and their athletes in speed, athleticism T Zach Rippe Columnist

his year’s NCAA Men’s tournament is shaping up to be quite eventful. First came the tremendous upsets and the Cinderella stories. Most recently, however, a gruesome story that is unrelated to wins and loses came to light. In the closing minutes of the first half of the Louisville Duke game, Louisville guard Kevin Ware ran out to contest a three point shot. He leaped and landed awkwardly on his right leg, completely splitting it in two.

Ware went down on the sideline in agonizing pain as teammates and fans reacted. Players jumped back in shock as they witnessed what was perhaps one of the most gruesome injuries in the history of sports. Some cried, others vomited as they caught a glimpse of Kevin Ware’s bloody shattered bone. Suddenly the moment was much larger than the game; an empowering phenomena in the realm of sport.

Louisville wound up beating Duke by over 20 points, an impressive feat for a team who just witnessed one of its family members snap his season. Thankfully Kevin Ware is doing much better. As of Monday, he was already up and on crutches. Ware’s story will perhaps be as inspiring as it was gruesome. In a postgame interview, Louisville coach Rick Pitino explained how there was no way the Cardinals could lose this game. They had to win it for Ware. Toward the end of the game, Chane Behanan put on Ware’s jersey and began to scream as fans chanted “Kevin Ware! Kevin Ware!” The story then quickly spread. I was not watching the game, yet I heard about the injury before the competition was over. The viral spread of this devastating event was extremely fast and plentiful. Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit all had multiple shots and images of the injury, speaking about it from multiple perspectives. Some took a religious approach while others simply shared the most disturbing picture they could find for shock value.

Truth be told, Kevin Ware has never been more popular.

Ware’s injury seemed to bare a striking resemblance to several other injuries in the past. Joe Theismann, a professional football player had his career cut short when he broke his leg in a very similar fashion back in 1985.

Theismann actually contacted Ware after his injury occurred, later stating that his heart went out to him and that he should eventually be able to come back. Hopefully Theismann is right, as the last thing any athlete wants is for an injury to define his or her career. However, this is the risk that any athlete must take: injuries, and devastating ones at that, can occur at any time in any sport. Luckily, someone like Ware is still on scholarship. Right?

Sadly, he may be forced to pay for his medical bill. While Ware is generating millions upon millions of dollars for the NCAA, he is not under any sort of a guaranteed contract.

In many ways, this is good as he is a student athlete where the emphasis should rightfully lie on the word student. However, Ware may not even be guaranteed his four-year scholarship with this devastating injury. Will he be able to afford his college, let alone his medical expenses? Apparently the NCAA does indeed have a “Catastrophic Injury Insurance Program” which ensures athletes up to 20 million dollars in medical fees. However, it is entirely up to the NCAA as to what constitutes as such. If Ware’s injury does not qualify, what happens to college athletes who suffer slightly more minor ones? As Ramogi Huma, head of the National Collegiate Players Association stated, “If you don’t lose a limb, or motion in one of your limbs, you wouldn’t be considered catastrophically injured, then it’s completely up to the school, or yourself.” Joe Theismann’s injury may have cost him his career, but Kevin Ware’s injury may haunt him financially for the rest of his life.

This is where the other side of being a student athlete comes into play. If these athletes are treated as pawns for the huge moneymakers and “one percent” of the NCAA, do they not at least deserve benefits? Shouldn’t

medical insurance be a reasonable benefit for student athletes, especially those at this level and stage? David Sirota, the author of an article on Salon.com entitled “Will Ware be stuck with the bill?” got it spot on when he stated, “Those players are treated as worse than mere commodities—because at least commodities are given a financial value. They are treated as indentured servants, who do not get their fair share of the revenues and who can be discarded if they dare get hurt doing a job for the very school that refuses to guarantee them a full college education.”

“This is where the other side of being a student athlete comes into play.

If these athletes are treated as pawns for the huge moneymakers and ‘one percent’ of the NCAA, do they not at least deserve benefits? “ Zach Rippe ’16 The story of Kevin Ware is devastating, yet inspirational. He will most likely be okay and will hopefully be able to step on the court again some day. Sadly, the story that goes unnoticed is that of his medical expenses. His injury may cause much more than physical pain.

The debate goes on, as these student-athletes are indeed students first and foremost. But in a situation like this, is it worth it to put a boy’s life in financial ruin as he put his body on the line for a money making machine?

Pitchers’ duel opens 2013, sets stage for epic, season-long Dodgers-Giants rivalry Eli J. Vargas I. Columnist

W

ith opening day having just passed and the coming of spring, it’s time to start talking baseball. To kick off opening day, rivalry games were nationally televised, with many good examples like the Red Sox-Yankees. But what may have been the best rivalry in baseball was found in the Dodgers and Giants.

Both teams pitted their Cy Young Award winning pitchers against one another, Clayton Kershaw for the Dodgers and Matt Cain for the Giants, in what was a pitchers’ duel for the majority of the game. Then in a thrilling fashion, Clayton Kershaw hit his first career home run to end the scoreless tie with a bang, and a four-run eighth inning ensued, and eventually a shutout win for the Dodgers.

When these two teams meet, something exciting is bound to happen, especially when almost every game played between the two results in a sellout crowd. Like many past seasons, this upcoming season should be filled with many great games full of suspense and thrilling play for this competitive and storied rivalry.

But what is great about this rivalry is that unlike the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry, the Dodgers-Giants rivalry has not been one sided. Both teams have had almost equal amounts of success against one another, with the Giants having a better record than the Dodgers 58 times, and the Dodgers 52 times. The Giants and Dodgers have finished 1-2 in standings a whopping 11 times since 1951, which further provides support for a balanced and competitive back and forth rivalry.

The Giants have made the trip to the World Series 20 times with eight wins, and two being in San Francisco, while the Dodgers have been 18 times with six wins and five being in Los

Angeles.. So it is fairly evenly matched, while the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry has until recently been a lopsided affair. The Yankees have finished in front of the Red Sox 77 times with 27 titles, while the Red Sox have finished ahead 33 times with two titles.

The Dodgers-Giants rivalry is the best in baseball at the moment, and possibly the best of all time in baseball. The rivalry has passed the test of time, surviving for more than a hundred years, and more importantly the test of location, by relocating the Dodgers from Brooklyn to Los Angeles and the Giants from Manhattan to San Francisco in 1958. Now instead of being an inner-city rivalry, this rivalry represents a regional North and South rivalry in the state of California, involving the cities of Los Angeles, San Francisco and anywhere in between.

“The Dodgers-Giants rivalry is the best in baseball at the moment.”

Eli J. Vargas I ’16 What is even more exciting is the fact that the Giants have recently won their second World Series in the past three years and the Dodgers now have the power to buy out the competition with the deeply lined pockets of a new ownership group. Both are contenders right now as well as in the near future, with the Dodgers having the highest payroll in the Majors and the Giants returning all but three players from their World Series-winning

squad.

Interestingly, the Giants have experienced success with home-grown talent and by building up their farm system to move novice players upward in the ranks. This is historically what the Dodgers have always done but with a bad previous ownership, the Dodgers have been in uncharted land in having to spend to make up for their lack of farm system depth. The Dodgers have always spent like a small-market team, even though they are in the second biggest market in the US. So while the farm system begins to replenish itself with the help of increased scouting and information, the Dodgers will continue to spend. Once the right balance is reached in a few years, the Dodgers will be even more intimidating to face than they are now with eight all stars on the roster.

Adding more excitement to this rivalry is that the Giants’ MVP catcher, Buster Posey, has recently signed a new deal ensuring that he will be around in San Francisco for years to come along with Giants ace Matt Cain. Down in LA the same can be said for MVP caliber center-fielder Matt Kemp, who is signed until 2019, and Clayton Kershaw who is expected to sign a contract that will guarantee his status as the Dodgers ace until 2020.

So with young elite talent guaranteed to be around until the end of the decade, this rivalry will surely be one that will be filled with drama, suspense and hopefully a few more World Series visits on the part of both teams, and nothing would be better than seeing a Dodgers-Giants postseason matchup. There have not been many postseason matchups between these two great teams, because most of the time one or the other has eliminated the other in the playoff chase heading into October. We can always dream though.

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

Luka Ladan Columnist

A

s of last Monday, professional baseball is officially back. Just wonderful. I can’t contain my joy. Now I can once again watch a plethora of fiercely overweight competitors take the field to chew some tobacco, crack some jokes in the dugout, and occasionally pick up a base hit. As you can tell, the “excitement” of Major League Baseball doesn’t really strike a chord with me. It’s slow-moving, anticlimactic, and boring all wrapped in a display that seems to last about six hours—one hour down, with only some standing around to show for it; three hours later and, alas, a groundball……into the hands of the shortstop for another out.

If anyone should fall in love with baseball, it ought to be me. I’m just a short car ride away from the iconic Fenway Park—one of the most famous stadiums in the entire country—and many Bostonians revere the sport like faithful Christians embrace the Word of God. From April to October (if the Red Sox make it that far) encapsulates a season-long holiday of catching up on the latest trade rumors, discussing what went wrong with Josh Beckett, and remembering the runs of 2004 and 2007. Sure, Tom Brady’s always great and all, and Kevin Garnett rejuvenated an entire franchise, and the Bruins even squeezed in a league championship of their own, and our clam chowder tastes really good. But nothing beats that old American pastime of connecting leathery, rubbery ball and wooden bat.

Why baseball receives such adoration downright confuses me. By my estimations, there’s a whole lot wrong with the sport­—and I have definitely given it a chance, if for nothing else but to satisfy the baseball nuts ever-present in my childhood. I can go on and on with my misgivings. Not enough fast-paced action, that’s for sure. Three thousand twenty-seven games each season plus dozens of exhibitions and a whole lot of batting practice, or somewhere around there. A lot of standing, not a lot of running, and plenty of chewing and chewing and chewing.

Part of the reason to watch professional athletics rests in one inevitable truism: “I can’t do what they’re doing, so I want to watch them do it in front of me.” Why exactly would I watch an out-of-shape David Ortiz swing at a pitch (and, most likely, whiff completely) when I can watch LeBron James sprint and dunk, Adrian Peterson weave and explode, Lionel Messi nutmeg and juke, Zdeno Chara bash and mash, Novak Djokovic return and volley, Michael Phelps glide and extend, and on and on and on? There’s so much in the world of sports that deserves attention—LeBron James dominating the Americas and Lionel Messi dominating Europe, for starters—that wasting viewership on an assortment of standing and gazing and chewing makes absolutely no sense.

When it comes to baseball, I often feel like some of the sports-deprived students at Vassar.

I don’t quite understand it, and working on an essay due two weeks later made more sense than watching Opening Day 2013—even if the Red Sox and Yankees were paired up. In the end, it’s just a wooden stick hitting a tiny little ball with no greater significance.

Yeah, some will say that basketball just involves throwing a ball through a hoop and soccer just means kicking a ball between some white lines. But baseball doesn’t even come close. One guy swings a stick with about a 30% chance of making contact, while the rest of his team and the opponents stand and stare—dozens of “athletes” most likely waiting around for naught, based on the percentages. No extra movement. No jumping and dunking. No real emotions, such as the touching camaraderie on display in that surreal Louisville-Duke game a few days back.

Nothing of the sort. Baseball is officially back. In the meantime, say some prayers for Kevin Ware and his family. Just writing this column makes me want to think about something else, even an injury as gruesome as that one.

Anything but baseball.

SPORTS

Page 20

April 4, 2013

Track and Field begins season with long-time goals in reach Christian La Du guEst rEportEr

T

courtesy of Vassar College Athletics

he Men’s Track and Field season has finally begun after months of hard work of training and lifting and the Vassar team is setting its goals higher than ever. According to junior sprinter and captain Abe Gatling III, “The team goal is to send multiple people to ECAC’s and NCAA’s every year. In years past it used to be a pipe dream, but recently that dream is getting closer and closer to becoming a reality.”

Having been in serious training since returning to Vassar in January, the team is very eager for its competitive meets, which began over spring break at Coastal Carolina, NC, and will continue this weekend at Princeton’s Sam Howell Elite Meet. The team balances strong camaraderie and enjoyment of each other with an intense work ethic and desire to improve. Freshman Cheikh Athj, standout hurdler, shared that, “Our coaches are definitely trying to inspire a culture of athletic professionalism.” Additionally, junior Colin Hepburn said, “Our coaches have also always supported our sport as well as our academics, by not saying that it is important to be the best athlete we can be, but by stating that what they want is for us to be the best student-athlete we can be.”

Senior Captain Sam Ballard elaborated, saying, “DIII athletics are just generally a little weird. We’re all very dedicated to it and fiercely competitive, but there is still an acute sensitivity to academic matters throughout the team and coaching staff. To that end, student-athletes and coaches work together to find a system that is the most effective for enabling us to meet both our athletic and academic goals.”

This is extremely important as the Track season begins in January and the postseason tournaments continue into May after school has ended. Additionally, many of the distance runners also participate in Cross Country in

the fall, making the balance of athletics and academics even more crucial.

The crossover between Cross Country and Track partially explains Vassar’s success in the sport but the team is expanding.

Hepburn explained that “I would say that it seems that Vassar breeds 800 runners, and has historically done very well in that and the distance events, however in the past 2-3 years our sprinting team has grown tremendously.” Competitors to watch out for this year include senior Sam Wagner, looking for a repeat appearance at NCAAs (400m and 800m), senior Mathue Duhaney, who has left the pool to challenge sprinters on the track as well(100m and 200m), Gatling, who has bounced back from injury in fine form (200m and 400m), while freshmen Athj (hurdles), Dylan Manning (400m and 800m), Jonah Williams (1500m and 5k), and Taylor Vann (High, Long, and Triple Jump) all look to establish themselves as contenders.

Though it may appear to a casual viewer that Track contains elements of athleticism grouped into competitive format, there is a greater degree of complication than initially meets the eye. Every event has a high degree of specialization, as Ballard shares, “Long races have to been run strategically, short races have to be technically sound, and it you don’t throw or jump in a fundamentally sound way then you’re likely to fail and/or lose a limb.”

In the same vein, Gatling continued, “Every event requires cultivation of technique, whether it’s hitting splits, driving from out of the blocks or momentum maintenance in the triple jump. I think that pole vault requires the most, because there are so many steps to executing a good pole vault. You can’t just hurl yourself over 13 feet into the air with a fiberglass stick without having superb technique.”

Success in Track is directly correlated with the hard work training and time put in during the offseason, and the commitment is not to

This season, with track and field’s goal of sending multiple players to ECAC’s and NCAA’s closer than ever, team leaders have been inspiring a “culture of athentic professionalism.” Above, Roni Teich ’13 . be taken lightly. “It’s funny, because sometimes I question why I’m doing this, why I spend all this time working my butt off and the pain/soreness and frustration of bad days and workouts, when you’re tired or stressed or life just seems to be going bad. But then you will have those days where everything seems to click—you feel great, you run fast and smooth and get this weird rush—which is when I remember that this is what I love to do. That and the fact that my teammates are some of the best people I know—I have some of my best friends on the team—who are always supportive and can relate to you on many levels since they are doing the

same thing,” revealed Hepburn. Ballard also talked about what made Track so special for him, “Best: The community. There is an understanding and a bond among our teammates that is really a great support network throughout school. Worst: You’re always with the same damn people! Sometimes it seems like you have no secrets!”

Vassar hosts the Liberty League Championships on Saturday, April 20th at Prentiss Field Complex, an excellent opportunity to catch some of the college’s finest athletes competing for postseason berths and eternal, ephemeral glory.

VC Women’s Rugby leaves Spain with big win, tight loss Amreen Bhasin rEportEr

T

courtesy of Vassar College Athletics

he Vassar College Women’s Rugby team started off their Spring season over break with a trip to Spain to train and compete. The Brewers finished the tour with a 1-1 record to kick off their Spring and since then they’ve had two more games back in the States. They beat both Molloy College as well as Columbia University for a two-game streak and a current, successful record of 3-1 for the season so far.

The women began their trip with a rough matchup against the women of Quijote Rugby Club, also known as the ‘Dulcinea’. The Brewers faced cold, strong winds as well as some snow flurries to clinch a decisive 39-0 victory. This was their first match since the Fall season and the women came out quick-paced, scoring early and often with a total of seven tries for the game. By the first half Vassar led 20-0, and the women kept up the intensity for the rest of the match. Senior Nicole Guerrero and sophomore Meg Slattery both had particularly strong games but everyone contributed to the win, according to head coach Tony Brown. “It really was a team performance and each player had a hand in the win.”

The next game on March 16, taking place in Madrid, was against a large and strong physical matchup against the Hortaleza women.

The game was incredibly close with the Brewers falling short and losing 20-22 against the Spanish women due in part to a controversial call during the last ten minutes of the game.

Seniors Nichelle Jackson and Patty Walton both had strong games and pushed Vassar into an early lead. A series of quick penalties and a strong comeback left the Brewers trailing 12-10 at the half. They came out strong after the half with some strong play by Slattery and lead until the final minutes of the match when Hortaleza burst through and scored.

The loss was tough but a real learning moment for the team.

The women started off their home schedule with a bang this Spring. On March 25, they had a decisive victory against Molloy College,

Women’s Rugby Forward Dallas Robinson ’14 pushes herself to her limit as she runs across the rugby field in possession of the ball. The team began its season last month in Spain with a 39-0 victory. winning 61-5. Both Vassar and Molloy were missing important starters due to illness and injury; however, the Vassar forwards came out fast and ready to score. Senior Shanaye Williams who did not travel to Spain started off the scoring and continued throughout the match, scoring three tries as did junior Forward Dallas Robinson. Guererro scored twice and was a strong impact player throughout the whole game. Junior Chelsea Boccagno and freshman Cierra Thomas anchored the Brewers’ defense with tough performances in the back.

The women played a strong, physical game on March 30 during their second match. They defeated the Columbia University women 30-19 to keep their perfect streak against the

club alive. Vassar’s Rookie Lock freshman Darienne Jones had a particularly strong hit in the opening moments of play that set the tone for the match. Williams, Robinson, and Jackson were all strong at shrugging off tacklers in the team effort leading to the Brewers’ third win of the Spring. Senior Flyhalf Hannah Bober ’13 too had an incredible game. Columbia University did not score until Thomas was off the field with a yellow card and Robinson had to be taken off the field in the middle of the match with an injured ankle.

Both senior Rachel Thompson and Sophomore Sophia Rutkin were big contributors to the win.

Much of the team cites their strong team dynamic as the catalyst for their recent suc-

MISCELLANY NEWS | VASSAR COLLEGE

cess in Spain. Freshman Shira Idris in particular has been pleased with her team’s closeness in recent games and believes that it is has been reflected on the field with strong, cohesive play. “Overall, I believe that we play really well as a unit. We have a lot of strong physical forwards that dominate the field together. And we have really disciplined and speedy backs. Tony Brown is also a great coach that knows the game well and is really committed and dedicated to the game and the players.”

Fellow freshman and Center standout Nora Kaye agrees with Idris’ feelings on the women’s rugby team. According to her, the strong love and dedication for the sport tends to takes a central role. “There is incredible leadership and a lot of love for the game. The determination of the fronts and constant support from the backs makes you feel very confident when you step out on the field…there is a lot of focus and we are always pushing each other to be the best players possible…

It’s a really wonderful environment on and off the field.”

Senior Laura Howard has strong feelings about her team’s camaraderie. Howard has been on the team since her freshman year and went to Ireland and Barbados with the team in recent years, however she did not attend the Spain trip. Regardless Howard has been an integral part of the team in her time at Vassar. “Th[e] camaraderie is very real and an integral part [of] the rugby experience, but equally important and sometimes forgotten, is the physicality of the game. The intensity and devotion Vassar rugby players commit..is…important. we put our bodies on the line every game…there is a spirituality/religiosity to rugby that does not often receive attention.”

The Brewer women will be back in action on April 6 when they take on Yale University.

They hope to continue their recent success and looking forward to the next few weeks, they hope to win The Beast of the East tournament to top off their already successful Spring season.