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34 Health & Food
LONELINESS AND MENTAL HEALTH By Karen Modupe
Peplau and Perlam in 1982 suggested that loneliness is the disparity between one’s intended interpersonal relationship compared to the actual relationships they already have. Humans are inherently social beings that thrive in small units hence loneliness is an unpleasant emotional response to the feeling of being isolated or alone. Most times loneliness creates a feeling of emptiness, unwantedness, unworthiness, and the feeling of not being loved. It is described as the equivalent of physical pain, hunger or thirst which yearns for social connection in order to maintain the formation of social connections needed for the survival of our genes. Hence when one feels lonely, there is usually the urge to reach out to or reconnect with someone. In 2018, Cigna conducted a national survey, and it was discovered that the level of loneliness had reached an all-time high. The research indicated that almost half of 20,000 U.S adults sometimes or always feel alone. Forty per cent of participants also mentioned that the relationships they have with people are not meaningful and often feel isolated. If loneliness is not attended to, it could affect our physical health; for example, hypertension, coronary heart disease (mainly amongst women) and our mental health, leading to certain mental health conditions such as depression, sleep problems, anxiety, and low selfesteem, low self-confidence. What can cause loneliness? Low self-esteem is often characterised by a lack of selfconfidence and feeling bad about oneself and often exhibiting the feeling of being unlovable or incomplete or awkward. These ill feelings that one thinks about themselves often make them hesitant to engage with other people, and even if they do, they do not feel worthy enough of other people’s time and attention this brings about having fewer intimate relationships with people thereby increasing loneliness. Lack of self-assertiveness; being self-assertive is to be able to stand up for one’s rights and that of others politely without passively accepting wrong. When an individual lacks assertiveness and decides to be passive-aggressive instead of
assertive, then it is difficult to build or maintain intimate relationships which invariably increases the feeling of loneliness. Social anxiety is also known as social phobia. It is the feeling of being nervous in engaging in social behaviours such as going out on a date or attending a party, etc. Feeling nervous about certain activities such as giving a presentation is normal, but when one begins to feel anxious, self-conscious, embarrassed, or overly worried toward everyday interactions depicts social anxiety. Being anxious around people all the time makes it more difficult to make new relationships or maintain existing relationships, thereby increasing loneliness. Trauma is an emotional response sustained like anxiety or fear due to a distressing event such as bereavement. Losing a loved one can suddenly induce the feeling of being lonely. Due to fear of losing a loved one, people also find themselves detaching from people they love because of the hurt of experiencing loss. Again, if a child was abused by a specific gender, there is every tendency for that child to withdraw from similar genders hence reducing social connections and in turn becoming lonely. Values confusion: personal values go a long way to defining who we really are. They are the characters and behaviours that motivate and guide our decisions and actions. Being around people with whom we share the same values is a way to engage with people, which helps to reduce loneliness. In the event that one’s values are confusing, it is easy to identify with people who have conflicting values thereby feeling disconnected and very lonely. Poor self-awareness: self-awareness is the ability to be conscious of one’s individuality, thoughts, actions, and emotions. With poor self-awareness, one begins to experience more negative emotions due to the inability to properly align one’s reactions or thoughts to a situation. Feeling disconnected from oneself due to poor self-awareness could increase the feeling of loneliness. Read the full article here: https:// mojatufoundation.org/mental-health/
