TOOLKIT
About the Parent and Young People Toolkit
The Parent and Young people toolkit provides practical information to help parents and young people navigate topics and situations of household challenges all families face. A solution-driven positive parenting approach is critical in enhancing the capacities of parents to proactively engage with children and prepare them for social challenges they are likely to encounter. We hear from parents frequently that they feel ill-prepared to navigate their way in a new cultural context, discuss certain topics with their children, not aware of the local support services and how to contribute to overcoming the threat posed by violent crime especially knife crime, in their neighborhood.
PATRA is here to help!
What did the parents say?
We asked a group of parents about their parenting challenges and put this question to them: what environment you grew up in as a child, and how did your parents build relationships with you and support you to be productive members of a community?
‘Growing up as a child, I had many aunties, uncles, gran parents and other extended family members. There is always someone to go to’
‘Our boys don’t talk to us – just on the phone to their friends and doing stuff with those. We only come in when they need money.’
‘I’ve got teenage boys and I’m a ‘worry bag’ anytime they’re out –the stabbings and killings, I’m restless’
The lack of options -these children today will talk back and not listen at all and the government is scaring all the parents’
Checkout what they say
‘I don’t work, it’s just the dad who works and the income is not enough for the kids’ demands. I need to work to solve other problems for the children’
‘I don’t have a car because I don’t have a driver’s license. My English language is not good, so I need help to pass my driving theory and be able to take my children to football and play other sports they like.’
‘I think the government and schools need to do more to teach the children about knife crime so they can get away from it. The cost is too high for families.’
‘I’m concerned about the community side – the young people are not involved. They’re all about themselves and no community spirit.’
‘My daughter… being in the circle of these boys, some of whom been to prisons makes me anxious. She doesn’t listen, but she never been listening anyway.’
‘We’re all worried about the bad neighbours. The friendship choices our children make, the gangs, the violence and our community centres closing.’
‘We are immigrant family, we are not allowed to work, and we have little children. We need help with food, microwave and beds.’
‘I’ve been looking for a job, but all the good jobs are far, and I need driver’s license to get a good job.’
‘Maybe we are failing our children: we don’t give them opportunity to learn our culture and create that community of support for them.’
‘We are struggling with our nineyear-old. She comes home with this new attitude from her friend’s house. We have our culture even in talking to adults.’
‘We have two young adults who should be working but they’re just sitting at home because they don’t have a job. I was working when I was at their age.’
A Resource for Parents and Young People
The Parent and Young people toolkit provides practical information to help parents and young people navigate topics and situations of household challenges all families face.
Below you will find a series of topics and tools you can go through at your leisure to help you acquire deeper understanding and skills in creating supportive, loving, and caring homes to embrace healthy lifestyles to achieve violence-free communities.
Young people are provided the relevant tools in the form of information about knife crime and the implications of the joint enterprise law application in respect to knife crime. And how parents can support young people to partake in community activities as a means of positive characterbuilding experience.
Building bridges and augmenting hope through parenting: Critical Tools
for Parents
Know about the different forms of family and community violence
Know about the different forms of family and community violence
“2.1 million people (16 and over) experienced domestic abuse in England and Wales in year ending March 2023” -ONS
Breaking the cycle of violence in the community through positive parenting
ifestyles by children mmunities!
ledge of common childhood characteristics of rely on others’ support for existence; ally, mentally, emotionally hurt, influenced or bility to adapt in the face of adversity, trauma, s.
Family and Community Violence
hat ‘discipline equals punishment’. Discipline rpose is to help children learn self-discipline. It uences in a way that helps children see the ing.
hild relationships to influence how your child lf-esteem) and the values and behaviours they
tunities to teach your mily/cultural components that influence your our.
Factors that influence behaviour in young people Factors that influence behaviour in young people
Anger and Aggression
(When a child or young person reacts in a hostile way towards peers, siblings or adults. It can include verbal and physical aggression)
Beware! Contributing factors to aggressive behaviour in children
Beware! Risk factors associated with gang involvement
Applying the process of discipline Applying the process of discipline
Positive discipline for better mental and physical health and a happy childhood.
(The positive discipline approach puts an emphasis on developing a healthy relationship with your child and setting expectation around behavour )
Clear instructions – so they will know exactly what is expected instead of guessing.
Praise – give a positive verbal and physical attention to your child for their respectful behaviour.
Ignore/praise – don't give attention to inappropriate behaviour but praise when the behaviour changes to positive.
First...then - to make your child know exactly what you expect and that you oversee what they do until they can decide for themselves what is better for them in compliance with your request - ‘first you must do .....then you can do....’.
Modelling – be the example of behaviours you want to see in him/her.
Confrontation – teach the children that they can choose how you respond to their behaviour through positive consequences (for respectful) and corrective consequences (for disrespectful) behaviour.
Logical consequences – reactions that follow other behaviours – to teach the child that it is his or her advantage to show respectful behaviour, follow family rules or to change disrespectful behaviour.
Family rule discussions – involve all family members in establishing ‘family rules’ and consequences for rule violations. This helps in situations where children do not obey request or instances of major problem behaviours as well as planning family activities or resolving conflicts.
Time out – remove children from positive attention to think about the rules they have broken when confrontation and logical consequences have not been effective.
Incentive – phase out the incentive chart to ensure children move from receiving positive rewards for doing the right thing to valuing the ‘good feeling’ that comes from contributing to the family or learning a new skill.
Contracts – an essential tool to utilise with older children (15 years of age and above) to show how to negotiate and reach a compromise.
Smacking – your responsibility for discipline, guidance and correction should be demonstrated as an act of love and not that of domination and control. Even though smacking remains legal in most countries, there is a world-wide movement to ban the use of all forms of physical discipline and many governments have adopted ‘no hitting’ policies.
Power, Control and Pride
Domestic Violence - equip yourself with knowledge...
Courtessy of :Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
Power and Control versus equality
False pride versus true pride
Power and Control Wheel
Knife Crime :
what you need to be aware of
Knife - if it has a blade or point (including folding pocketknife), if the blade is longer than 3 inches.
What is knife crime? Simply any crime that involves a knife (Bedfordshire Police).
Examples include:
carry a knife or attempting to buy one if you are under the age of 18 years
threatening someone with a knife carrying a banned knife
a murder where the victim was stabbed with a knife
a robbery or burglary where the thieves carried a knife as a weapon
Knife murders: 233 – murders involving a knife or sharp instrument in England and Wales from March 2023 to March 2024. 78 – young people aged under 25 were murdered with a knife or sharp object in the period March 2023 to March 2024. 10 were aged under 16.
Offensive weapon – anything made or adapted to cause injury, or intended to be used as a weapon, including disguised weapons, e.g., a baseball bat, acid and other corrosive substances, knuckledusters, etc
In the year ending March 2024, 50,510 recorded offences involving a sharp instrument in England and Wales (excluding Greater Manchester): representing an increase of 4% from March 2023.
744 recorded crime of Possession of Weapons (including knife) for Nottingham in the 12 months ending June 2024.
Possessing a weapon and threatening with a weapon is an offence under the UK criminal law (Prevention of Crime Act 1953 and Criminal Justice Act 1998) . You will be prosecuted for carrying an article that could injure someone: conviction could carry an imprisonment or fine.
Source: Office for National Statistics
Youth Outreach Sessions on Knife crime and the law of Joint enterprise across the city
The law on Joint enterprise: what you need to know
What is Joint enterprise?
If one or more people commit an offence (the main offender) and another/others (secondary offenders) intended to encourage or assist the main offender to commit the offence, the secondary offender(s) can be prosecuted as if they were a main offender.
Under the Joint enterprise law:
‘If you are seen to be involved in an incident of violent crime, you could be considered as equally guilty as the person who committed it, and convicted under Joint Enterprise’Northumbria-pcc.gov.uk
The argued problem with Joint enterprise:
•Some convictions are based on prejudicial evidence, inaccaurate information or racial stereotypes.
•Weak ‘evidence’ that people are part of a ganginformation about people’s associations, friends, use of social media and even music preferences.
•Relies on racist and inaccurate stereotypes about young people of colour being involved in violence and other criminal activities, including ‘gang’ involvement.
•The ongoing misuse of joint enterprise puts the right to a fair trial at risk, particularly for young people of colour.
•The Lammy Review in 2017 highlighted the ways that joint enterprise leads to miscarriages of justice.
In Reality!
•A number of different studies indicate that joint enterprise prosecutions are more likely to target young Black men and boys.
•One study found that, of young male prisoners serving 15 years or more for joint enterprise convictions, 38.5% were White and 57.4% were BAME, and 38% Black.
•Another study found that joint enterprise prisoners who identify as BAME were significantly younger than their white counterparts and were serving longer sentences on average.
young people’s character through community volunteering and learning: Getting young people involved
What the young person gets out of it?
•Youth participants are supported through community engagement to develop and integrate a set of values, skills, attitudes and bahavioural competences that will enable them to successfully and responsibly navigate in learning, work and life.
What
the
community gets out of it?
•Introduction of young people to the many difference-making community initiatives to facilitate transition and legacy.
•Parents modelling desired behaviour and positive community action to young people to help bridge the generational gap while building character in young people.
•PATRA directly shares its expertise with different community interest organisations and empower them through youth engagement and creativity.
Participants are fully supported along the journey and ages from 13 - to 29-year-olds are encouraged.
