Stuck in Time Short Stories
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... I want to do things with words...
create a garden, build a sunset, make you see my characters, feel the cold, smell the flowers I bring to life with my words. Come, and feel with me.
... Stuck in Time Publishing house:
Peña Zambrano
Bogotá, november 25, 2016.
Why do you write for?: I write because the psychiatrist is more expensive.
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Stuck in Time
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Hospital
“Doors squeak. One door opens, one other closes… each second.”
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The emergency door sound by my back. The sound of my feet hitting the floor while I run make all people’s looks be at me. There are many people, many voices, many tones, many secrets, much pain. People voices fill my ears, I feel like everybody is screaming, screaming out their problems, their illnesses, their sadness. It’s just too noisy. I don’t know how this place works. I just need to find my mother; she should be behind one of those doors… But there are too many hallways that lead to other hallways, and too many doors leading to other doors. The hallways are narrow; the roof is just by my head. The walls are damage, rusted. No air is passing by. The floor is wet, it smells like humidity, musty. I can feel the moisture in the air, 1
in my skin, in my hair. One door is next to the other door, and the other door is next to the other door. I’m trapped, I’m confused, it is like a maze, a labyrinth in which my mother is taking me through. I know she just want this for me, she has always hate me, she always told me I’m not good enough, I’m not worth it… That I’m crazy. I’m not crazy! Anyways I’m here. The “bip” of the machines connected to people is making me sick. Each door I open is a new “bip”, a constant sound, a constant shrill sound. each time I touch a door knob I could feel the humidity, the deterioration of this place. This is not a safe place for people. Each room is a little tiny box, with big white walls full of syringes and needles.
The walls are so close to each other, just one bed fills the whole room. It’s like each room is whole new world of disease make of whispers. Whispers between visitors, doctors and patients, and so if they can speak or even open their eyes. Whispers that they scream. I mean, that one is sick, he is not death, can you stop screaming, please!? The whole hallway is purposely made with that depressing blue light. A blue light that fills my eyes and make people be instantaneously sick, sad, or ill. Doors squeak. One door opens, one other closes… each second. Suddenly: “Hi Sir. Can I help you?”. That shrill voice. That unbearable shrill sound irritates my ear. It was a nurse. Some woman who is wondering why I keep opening every
single door from every single hallway. She smells like chemical, surgical products. She is all dress in white: surgical white cap, white medical gown, white sneakers. She is combined with the blue light. Like an angel coming to tell me about my mother. But my mother is not death. I didn’t kill my mother; it is not the way she thinks it happened. I take a deep gaze into her eyes, and I walk backwards. I turn the corner. Probably I just need to make less noise with my feet hitting the floor while I run. Probably in that way people would not be taking looks at me. Probably that way people would not be judging me. Wheelchairs comes from here, old women with artificial respirators comes from there… 2
It is like a battle field in which people are trying to kick death and spend more time in this sad blue world. It feels like a stuck in time box. There is not time passing by. I can’t see if it is a sunny day, or if it is night, I can’t even hear if it is raining. No air is coming in. A space without time, without new sunrises, without sunsets, without starry nights. A box of doors and hallways. A box in which I just came in, in which my mother made me came in. She left me no choice. 3
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Concierge “I’ve spent all my life trying to pretend that giving advice to other people would make me more important”
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He has always been the ally of many students. “John, I left my homework inside my locker and I’ve lost my key, could you open it for me, please?” Or “John, I need to grab my exam from teacher’s desk, would you do it for me?” Despite being a quiet and inexpressive man, he has won the respect and appreciation from all students. He was a helper, a confident, an adviser, a friend. One time, a student named Halley was crying in a hallway. - “Halley, what is happening? Are you okay?” Asked the concierge. Halley was John’s favorite student; he was especially concerned because she had lost her parents at a young age. Halley only had her grandmother, so he secretly went out of his way to help her. Halley’s face was
covered in tears. - “I saw Jake kissing Amanda in the school bus. I thought he love me.” The concierge had a very close relationship with this girl. She was the pretties and most popular girl in school. Everyone liked her. John just held her in his arms and quietly he soothed her. John was coming back to his concierge room when he saw someone in his desk. – “Hi! You must be John, the other concierge, Ms. Watson –the school director- told me I am here to help you; this school is so big just for one person.” Said Thomas, a new concierge. John thought this could change his relation with the students, this could change the way he had live his life in school. John, the quiet and solitary concierge felt his life was 5
spinning out of the control. He could not accept it. He was not the only concierge any more. John’s hands were soaking wet in sweat and he felt a knot his throat. He knew he had to do something. It was an awkward moment and Thomas was aware of it., To break the awkward silence, he said -“Some woman came here looking for you, I told her you were not here, so she asked me to let you know that you should pay your house’s rent this week. Otherwise, she’ll evict you. She sounded serious” Thomas said. John already knew it. He didn’t say a word. He turned back and started walking to his home just a few streets away from the school. The night was dark, there were no stars, and winter was setting
in. It was freezing. It was a narrow street. No one was to be seen in the street but one teenager wondering in circles. It was Halley. She looked desperate, anxious. She was wearing a long blue dress without shoes. John was trying to walk behind her without being noticed. – “Hi John, why are you walking so fast?” John didn’t even look at her. - “That’s what I thought.” Halley added.… Then, she continued. - “I found some pills under my grandma’s bed, I could use them to hurt Jake in some way…, or at least they could make me forget.”. John was thinking about his work, his rent, he had no mind for anyone right now., He had no place in his mind to help anybody else. “Say Something! this is not one of those 6
moments when you can stand there and say nothing!” Halley replied crying. Time stopped, the street felt narrower by the second, as if it were to crash above them. His hands tightened, his head began to ache while the night became darker. - “I’ve spent all my life trying to pretend that giving advice to other people would make me more important, but look! I’m just a starving lonely concierge fighting not to be replaced and I can’t pay my rent. I am going to be evicted. Nobody listens to me. Nobody cares about my live, what I like, or how I felt, everybody just spears their trash on me, take my advice and then fade away without even saying how was your day!”, Said the concierge. Halley looked deeply at him and
said nothing. Her head was so cloudy she couldn’t think clearly about what just happened. - “Do whatever you think you should do. Anyways we all came here to die and slowly be hurt really really bad.” Added John, and then he disappeared in the middle of the night while Halley’s eyes looked deeply in the shadows John left behind. Next day, john got in the office and found the other concierge again seated in what for years had been his chair. – “Hi, John! said Thomas.” Silence spread through the whole room. – “Are you always so quiet?” added Thomas. – “Well, I’ll speak. This morning when you were asleep, the police found Halley’s body in front of Jake’s house, there were no vital signs.” Said Thomas. 7
John opened his eyes widely. Could this be my fault? He thought. He ran out of the room and went to straight to Jake’s house. – “Do I annoy you? why do you always avoid talking to me!” Said John. There was Halley’s body at Jake’s house. She was there laying down so white, so cold. The air was so heavy, the cold was hurting his bones, his breath was going so fast. He was sure it was all his fault. – “If only I had listened to her none of this would had happened” He though. His head began to replay many moments spent with Halley and other students laughing and telling jokes. All good memories suddenly became full of darkness and fear. The only thing he cared about in his life was Halley, talking her and
everyone else, giving advice. Now he, was covered in blood. Some days passed by and some neighbors began saying they saw John talking to Halley the night before she died. – “Hi Mr. John, what was the last thing that Halley said before she died?” Inquired a police officer. John could not tell. – “I was guilty of what had happened, that would be the end. I could lie and tell something to change the truth, even though people thinks I’m a good man, always ready to help everyone. I could not live with Halley’s blood in my hands, I cannot permit it!” John though.
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- “When I Talked to Halley, she told me Thomas was hounding her. She told me Thomas said that he would hurt her if she didn’t sleep with him.” Said John. As John’s name was so well known in town, the police officer trusted him and proceed to take Thomas to court. However, people never came to be the same with John. Doubt haunted the school, fear filled every corner, and judgmental looks came every day in John’s way. His life as an adviser came to an end. If John wanted to be alone in his concierge room, now he could be alone in there forever. 9
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Inside
“Are those tears in your face? It’s been a long time since I last saw something like that.”
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-“Come inside John, Keth has already the medications for the visit”
-“Why it is not Doc Jeff the one who is sitting in front of me? I like spending time with him.”
That’s the way doc Jeff always sounds like. The same irritating sharp tone in his voice. Huh, like, like, like… he could have everything under his control every time, every second. Keth say in low voice to herself while she smiles.
Keth slides her elbow through the scratchy table and gets her face close to John’s face.
-“Could I tell you a secret?” John is shaking like a baby; his sweat could be smelled kilometers away. He has always been that She is staring at doc Jeff Aranda, her kidna- way. What a little pussy. –“Well, I’ll tell you a per, her only friend. Doc Jeff closes the huge secret: I can feel doc Jeff is in love with me... metal door after some faded memory from but shhh.. He doesn’t know it already.” Keth childhood comes into her mind. Laughs from Keth’s mouth can be heard -“Hey, bro… it’s… it’s me. John… do you from every white corner of this crazy place. remember me?” 11
-“Om, Keth… after all these years I could finally get in here. Nobody before let me in. They said I should be at least 21 years old to see you again. But look! Here I am. I have always been with you, even I was not by your side.” -“I’m sorry, are you real? I mean, am I real? Um, I’m just watching how your tears fills your eyes, but… I can feel nothing.” Keth opens her arms over her head. Probably no one sees the sadness behind the smile in her face. No one has ever done. The white table becomes bigger and bigger each time, while the room with the empty white walls looks further from each other. “Sometimes in the middle of the night I could see my mother
crying on my bed. But she is not crying for me. She is just crying for John…” She keeps staring at John’s eyes. “Hahaha, for John!” Keth’s metal chair makes a squeaking noise. The belts holding her waist against the chair makes her feel despair. -“Calm down, don’t talk. Doctor Jeff said you need to keep rest. For now, on I’ll visit you, I’ll be taking care of you. Now that mom is not here for us we need to be brave.” A fade smile from Keth’s face fill the room. No one notice it but Doc Jeff. It’s always been just Doc Jeff and Keth. The room smells like fear. Keth sit and stare at doc Jeff.
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-“What… what is happening?” Doc Jeff looks at her nails like he always does while someone is talking to him. Her perfectly clean and white gown, and the glasses on his face make him feel like god. Finally, everyone could be god.
-“Oh, I need some brother? In a past life I had a brother, his name was John Pussy. He cried every night while we hide under the bed listening our parents yelling at each other. What a Night! Definitely something to remember.”
-“Keth.. plase… stop.” -“It’s the usual, she does it sometimes, probably the medications. It´s careless. It’s -“Probably our parent’s relation disordered that everything you have to do here, making him. And probably that’s the reason questions?” why The Pussy killed our father. I’m not judging him; our parents were quite a story! -“No, she need to have some friend, or in Hahaha!” this case, some brother.” 13
-“STOP IT!” -“Hahahaha!”
Probably you need a hug. May I?”
-“You can’t touch each other, Keth, you -“Are you done here John? You are upsetting already know it! Keth.” -“But he needs a hug! everybody sometimes -“Isn’t it your job to make her recognize needs a hug!...Did you daddy died too? she did it?!... Make her recognize she.. she.. That’s why you are here too, right?” she… Killed our.. father…” -“Keth..I’m.. I’m… here to take you from -“Are those tears in your face? It’s been a here. But I need your help. I need you to long time since I last saw something like think about what happened, about what that. But it’s real, we are all here, but we are happened that night when you made our completely alone. We just pretend we are father pass away. happy, but in fact we are just stuck in time. 14
-“Our?... Doc Jeff, why is he saying ‘Our´? The huge room, suddenly is smaller for Keth. There is no breeze. There is no sound. There are three people on a room completely empty. -“I told you John! Let the things be the way they are. You can’t change nothing. And Keth will not change. That’s everything for today John. You know the way to the door.” 15
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Lorain Porter
“We had a nice dinner John, till next time. I love you. She thought”
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Lorain Porter arrived at 7pm o’clock dress in her red classic glamorous dress as she does every 12th of the month. She was in a traditional elegant restaurant sit in the table she always books the month before. A candle light in the middle of the table glows over her green eyes while she slightly combs her curly hair with her finger tips. She lifts the white and neatly fold napkin and putt it on her legs. This time her silken gloves were white. A waiter in the corner with in a suit and tie carefully observes her while she gets comfortable. Lorain keeps sit at her two sits square table while she observes her wrinkle hands that years had left behind. A ring from her finger shines. It was bought 50 years before, in a
luxury boutique at the north of the city. It was made with gold, and in it, was a tiny inscription carved in the metal: “My best memories with you” It was given to her by John Porter, a known writer in the city, who was kidnapped in Colombia 5 years ago, and from whom until now no one knows a thing. They had no children and every coin they saved were mean to be use to them to have good date dinners and to probably someday fly away to a place where writers are not despised. The waiter keeps staring at her while he rubs with the right hand his left elbow. He already knows what wine does the widow would like to celebrate her anniversary with her gone husband. Dry white wine for dry
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people. The waiter serves it in a glass of wine. Dropwise time becomes slower. A few laughs can be listen from the other side of the room. It was a huge room. Some people were dancing, some others were talking, and mean while Lorain stays sit up straight with her refined and delicate hands over her glass of wine and with a warm and thoughtful look. The huge room full of people feels empty. Lorain envisioned John in that dinner as how they were 30 years ago: two people in love, saving money for days, until finally earn enough money to have a lovely dinner under the star’s light. The worn clock of the elegant lounge gives 8 pm o’clock. Sinatra’s music begins to play.
Tears filled her eyes and she almost regret of keep coming in the same old restaurant. Maybe he was coming back some day, maybe he is alive, maybe he is not, maybe it was time to let him go. At the end of her first and last glass of wine, Lorain touch the ring on her wrinkled finger. The room is empty, the air is not blowing, the table becomes bigger each second that pass by. Lorain take a look at the end of the big lounge, put her coat on, blow the candle. It was time to go. We had a nice dinner John, till next time. I love you. She thought, and then walk through the restaurant’s door with her delicate hands in her pockets, taking all the loneliness with her. In the lounge no body notice a thing, but the 18
waiter who every 12th of the month thought it could be the last time he could see that old elegant woman who has the hope in her eyes.
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Primal Place
“She notices the difference; she knows that time have passed in those hands.�
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It is August 1999, the cold breeze of the windiest month of the year blew across the terrace. The leaves, the flowers, the fruits... The beloved white orchid of her grandmother dance with the wind and makes a relaxing sound that fills a place of mental peace. There is nobody but that little girl and that gentle old woman, whose eyes tells a hard life history, with wounds that neither the wind nor the years can erase. The rays of the rising sun gently touch their skin. The cold begins to be replaced by warmth. The old woman closes her eyes and let the sun energy cross her face. She moves her head gently filling all her face with warm sun. She knows how to enjoy this little gifts. Some hen’s sounds can be listen at
the corner of the terrace. They are eating and moving on the cement floor. Some pieces of corn are in the puddles that left behind the rain of the night before. The little girl is jumping from one puddle to the other, trying to catch some hen and pet it. Everything is where it is supposed to be, everything is the way it is suppose be. The wind keeps blowing. At the back of the terrace are some roof tiles that sound at the touch of the sunlight on them. That tiles were built by a grandfather the little girl never knew, but with who much of the beauty of the house fade with. The roof tiles have been witness of the years, observer of the family generations, and as its owners, have the wounds and moss of a lifetime of
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broke relationships fading in time. But for that moment, for that single moment, everything is perfect. For that single moment this two people are eternal. The plants and flowers keeps dancing with the wind, and, in the middle of the big and old garden, the old woman is watering the plants with that old but preserved and well maintained watering can. The water is ringing, the plants are moving, the wind is blowing and the sun is shining. There are no sounds from the outside, so the sound of the water falling fills the ears and the terrace. The little girl stops jumping. The water sound catches her attention. She stares at her grandmother’s hands, while she, the little girl, fondles her tiny young hands over and over. 22
She sees the wrinkled and worn old woman hands, and then take a look at her own hands. She notices the difference; she knows that time have passed in those hands. The little girl gets close to her grandma and touch her hands on the watering can. Grandma is cold, her hands are hard and rough. She looks at her granddaughter eyes full of faith and love. Her tiny hands are soft, warm and delicate. But in between this two hands, is confidence, respect, company. The place is full, the terrace is small, the sun shines, and this two people who are together as a consequence of the past, made of this terrace the most beautiful place of the house. 23
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Pulling a trigger “There is only the fallen man, the trigger, and the face of repentance, despair, shame and duty of a woman.”
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It is time to prove it. Her hand is trembling, sweeting. Everything she can see is that crappy symbol on her sleeve suit pointing right to the head of that frightened man. She could see through his wrinkled skin that all he could do was to stay in there… defenseless, skinny, hopeless… waiting it to happen. By her side, commander is watching her movements. Four walls are surrounding them and a sky without moonlight is above them. The yard is empty. No wind is blowing. Everything is paralyzed. The trigger is cold. The freezing Christmas night is covering all the grass and dirt with its white snow. His nose is red, his legs are shaking, his gnawed and torn clothes let them see scratches and wounds all over his 25
chest. He is watching her right in her eyes. His gaze is sad, wet and full of fear. Commander make the signal, it is time. She pulls slowly the trigger. Her hands still trembling. Suddenly a deafening sound broke any thought, stopped her breath, and crystalize her gaze. For that single moment, there is no time. Her hands remain in the shooting position. Her chest keeps straight in front of the bloody wall. The wrinkled man is no longer standing. His skinny body is falling to the ground. She could see how her hands drain that old man’s sight. His eyes full of sadness are still open, but there is just the vestige of a good, hopeful, and family man who ever existed. For that single moment, there is no Commander, no walls, 26
no snow. There is only the fallen man, the trigger, and the face of repentance, despair, shame and duty of a woman whose life is reduced to that single moment. The bullet shell falls. The irritating sharp noise of the metal hitting deafeningly the ground brought her back to the yard. Commander at her right side makes a signal of approval and then he walk through the door.
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Travel day “They were scared, they felt terror. Roxan by the other side felt betrayed by herself. Her body betrayed her.”
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-“We should get to that tiny house in Ireland, Bastian” Roxan said. Roxan and Bastian met in college. They were two dreamer young souls who always dreamed about traveling, visiting other countries, and leaving their country. Roxan’s mother lived in England when she was alive. She had a tiny old house in England. A better idea for a couple of misgiven writers in Colombia. They had a monotonous work in the capital of their country. They were trapped by the lack of work. Bastian was working on a new book, but by that day, he was not. He had done a visit to the doctor by that morning, and he had no good news. He knows some days at the week her wife crash into his office for saying hi, 29
so he hid the medical paper on his desk and took a look outside the window, for watching is Roxan is coming around. Suddenly Roxan appeared crossing the street in front of his building, getting into it. She wanted to make Bastian have a better day. She knew Bastian was bored with his live in here. She wanted to propose him a change for their lives. She wanted them to fly away and live in England, or at least visit it one day. She came in the office; she was very excited. Bastian remained stand next to the window, he was thinking about how to tell her the notice of the doctor; Roxan though he was thoughtful because economy was not going so good for them. The window was open, he was sweeting. Breeze came from the window,
filling the room. Roxan was decided to make him have a better day. Roxan jumped on Bastian and holding his cheeks, she said: -“We are leaving, that beautiful house now is waiting for us” Bastian was so nervous; he didn’t expect Roxan to tell him that. He didn’t know how to tell her what just happened. He held Roxan softly with his fingers. He hugged her. He was so anxious. He thought he could not break Roxan’s happiness, but also he knew he should. Roxan loves Bastian hugs, it makes her feel confidence and sympathy. Bastian and Roxan looked at each other eyes, they smile. Everything by that single moment, was perfect. Bastian looked through the window by Roxan’s back.
A Breeze cross their faces. Bastian was trying not to cry. He loves her so much; he had always done it. Roxan saw through the window and thought about the thousand times Bastian used that window to imagine different world for his books. Bastian decided to tell her before the idea of traveling to England excited her more. Bastian hugged her. But this time, Roxan noticed something was happening. Bastian could not hide it anymore. Her eyes filled in sadness. He sat down on the worn chair and took out the medical papers. His hands were trembling, Roxan could notice it. -“I went for the results of your medical exams today, he said, you need to get into cancer treatment at the hospital just right now,
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doctor said your body could not resist more than 6 months in your conditions” Roxan gaze faded. Bastian could not resist it anymore. He was crying. Bastian knew the first thing to do was to begin the medical cancer process in Roxan. They were scared, they felt terror. Roxan by the other side felt betrayed by herself. Her body betrayed her, and there was nothing to do. The fairy tale of traveling to England was now over, and Bastian and Roxan knew it. -“We.. We need to travel to Ireland today, Bastian.” Bastian got close to Roxan, he could see how her heart was broken, and so could see it Roxan in Bastian. They looked at each
other and with the empathy they had always had, they accepted the idea of getting to the doctor. For the moment, the monotonous life in Colombia was no more monotonous, but because of Roxan sickness.
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Stuck in Time
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