Being a Great Youth Sports Parent (Including coaching your own kid!)

WRITTEN BY BLAINE PEDERSON

I’ve spent the past 15 years coaching high school athletes and the last seven coaching my own son and daughter across various sports, ages and skill levels. With a 2-year-old at home, I expect to have at least 16 more years of coaching ahead.

Coaching so many incredible kids has been a privilege, and I love watching them grow and develop their skills over the years. I’d like to share a few key points that I believe can help all of us as parents support our kids through sports.

1. Games are for Playing –Practice is for Learning

For parents, game time is about offering positive support, not coaching.

Support, don’t coach from the sidelines: Unless you’re the coach, try to resist the urge to give instructions from the sidelines. Instead of shouting, “Pass, pass, pass!” or “Shoot, shoot, shoot!” shift your cheers to encouraging feedback like:

“Great shot, Timmy!”

“I love your hustle, Susie!”

“Keep working hard!”

How to give constructive feedback: If you want to offer pointers, timing is key. Instead of critiquing them immediately after the game, wait for a better moment. Hours or even days later you might say:

“Hey, would you like some tips on something I noticed during your game?”

Once you have confirmed that they’re open to feedback, go ahead and share your insights. Jot down key observations, and you can revisit them briefly before their next practice or game.

Also, make sure to acknowledge improvements in specific terms:

“I loved how you kept control of your dribble and made a great pass to your teammate.”

“You were so much more aggressive on offense today—that’s exactly what we talked about this week. I’m really proud of you!”

Encouragement goes a long way in helping kids enjoy the game and grow as players.

Why is this all important?

For kids to truly develop their skills on the field or court, they need to start making decisions in the moment without constant adult intervention. Experiencing these situations and learning how to respond on their own is crucial for their growth.

2. Your Child Has to Want It More Than You Do

If your child dreams of being a star athlete in high school or even earning a college scholarship, their passion must come from within. They need to be the ones driving the process. As parents I believe it is our job to tell our children what is possible for them to achieve and then give them as much support as we can should they chose to pursue it.

Rather than making a sport something they must do, help them develop a love for it—so they want to keep playing. How can we encourage that?

Let them choose – Once you’ve introduced them to different sports, give them the freedom to decide which ones they want to pursue. While kids often mirror their parents’ interests, they may gravitate toward a sport you’re less familiar with. If that happens, embrace it — and dive in alongside them.

Engage beyond the game – foster their enthusiasm in multiple ways:

• Learn as much about the sport as you can.

• Play and practice with them at home.

• Attend or watch games on TV at various levels (high school, college, pro).

• Coach their team. Most importantly, let them know how much you enjoy watching them play.

When kids truly love what they’re doing, improvement comes naturally and motivation lasts far beyond the game.

3. Quick Tips for Coaching Your Own Child

• When practice or a game ends, switch back to being mom or dad—not their coach. (Follow the earlier guidelines for offering constructive feedback outside of practice time.)

• Discuss behavior expectations and the difference between a coach/athlete and parent/child relationship, always prioritizing the parent/child bond.

Just like with any other player, recognize and praise their hard work and achievements. We often forget, or feel bad about piling praise our own kids. Being a parent is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, and getting to coach my own kids is just an added bonus. Seize the opportunity if you’re able!

Blaine Pederson is a recreation leader with the City of Bozeman, Head Track Coach at Bozeman High, and has coached all levels and types of youth sports from toddlers on up for the last 15 years.