Keeping it Real

WRITTEN BY BLAIR FJESETH

If I were a candle maker and assigned to create a scent that represents the journey into teen years, I imagine it would be a complex, unbalanced aroma. A top note of sweaty gym socks, a middle note of mystery (is that smell coming from your feet?!) and a lingering base of Axe body spray.

It’s an unmistakable scent, even for first-time parents entering their children's teenage years. It’s the fragrance of burgeoning independence, endless snacks and the sudden realization that, no, your child is no longer that Johnson & Johnson-smelling baby you once snuggled. It’s a rite of passage that I have just recently entered and, let me tell you, there is no amount of shoe deodorizer that can prepare you for it. All aboard the puberty train!

And while I’ve been through this change before (after all, I was a teen once—back in the “1900s,” as my children like to remind me), I figured it was time for some research.

Why Do They Stink?

The onset of body odor in teens is primarily due to hormonal changes, particularly the increase in sweat production triggered by puberty. As hormones surge, sweat glands become more active, leading to more perspiration. The bacteria that is naturally present on the skin break down this sweat, producing that distinctive smell. And because these same hormones also influence mood and sensitivity, your sweet, chatty child can suddenly transform into a person who takes personal hygiene advice as a direct assault on their existence.

How to Approach Without a Full-Blown Battle

Because of these hormonal changes, the teenage brain is practically designed to shut down at the slightest hint of criticism (Read: This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained — highly recommended for puberty science and conversation workarounds).

Insert stealth mode, mom. Stealth mode.

1. Make it a Household Rule, Not a Personal Attack

I found that setting a household hygiene routine helps. Frame it as, “We have five people in this house, so we need a shower schedule,” instead of, “Oh my gosh, for the love of all that is holy, please shower!”

2. Have Products in Abundance

Deodorant is expensive, but trust me, the $30 I spent on six sticks was worth every penny. One in his bathroom, one in his backpack, one in the car, one in my purse and a last-minute rescue stick in my bathroom (which is often his final pit stop before heading to school).

3. Try the Captive Audience Approach

I’ve really come to appreciate the power of a car ride. When my kids are strapped in and I have full control over the media, volume and length of the trip, I use it to my advantage. Sometimes I casually bring up fun facts about how hormones work (“Did you know your sweat is actually odorless until bacteria gets involved?”). Other times, I play a kid-friendly podcast about puberty and hygiene—because sometimes hearing it from someone else makes all the difference.

At the end of the day, the transition into the teen years is messy, smelly and, yes, worth it. But like every other phase of parenting, it’s not without its heartaches and headaches and maybe a travel-sized deodorant always within reach.

Blair Fjeseth is a working professional and proud Montana mom. You can reach her at blairparker.inc@gmail.com.