The Role of a Child Athlete’s Parent

WRITTEN BY JUDITH EHRET, COACH CHILD CARE CONNECTIONS

A child’s journey and exploration into sports could begin as young as 2 years old. This does not mean all kids showing interest at an early age will continue to begin competitive sports as soon as they enter grade school. Most children begin to grasp the concept of competition around the age of 10. And often, it takes years to learn that sometimes you lose even when you give it your best.

Physical activity, and the love for a particular sport or even sports, can positively affect a child’s personal development, self-esteem, goal setting and even leadership skills. This begins with the development of social-emotional skills in preschool.

As a parent of a multi-sport athlete and one who has learned many things through my experiences thus far, I can tell you that heightened expectations from a parent can negatively affect a child’s mental health and overall enjoyment of the sport.

When a sport seems like “work,” a child is not going to look at it the same way and will likely push back from the process. Yes, being a youth athlete is challenging work, but when your kiddo genuinely enjoys their sport, their dedication comes naturally. It’s only then, when your child has the mentality of “dedication,” that you will understand the level of love for a sport. It then becomes “hard work and dedication,” and this dedication will follow your child into becoming an athlete.

As parents we alone cannot make a young child confident. However, there are important steps we can take to help kids build their own self-confidence. Let us look at things this way: Children believe in themselves when we believe in them first. As parents, we cannot control the outcome of winning or losing, but we can control how we encourage our kids to practice and play. We can help them believe in themselves, their ability to learn through improvement and their drive to hustle. Once they believe in themselves and how they can control their efforts and dedication, they will begin to believe in their ability to win when the opportunity presents itself.

They will also believe in the concept of working harder to improve themselves. Trust me when I say this must be their choice, not ours. The number one and most important piece of advice I can give to parents is this: Your kiddo showing interest in and playing sports is their path, their dream. It is not ours. What can be labeled as ours are those moments of joy we get to share with our child after the big game, being a positive role model for our child and a respectful spectator. Confidence builds when a child sets goals and therefore overcomes a challenge. Our job is to offer those opportunities for them to practice just that. Staying humble is great, but it is also great to be proud of the hard work, dedication and the win. Our job is to encourage pride.

The more comfortable kids are confiding in their peers, coaches and parents, the sooner they will learn that it is OK to talk about their fears and doubts, and work through those strong feelings. Our job is to encourage open communication and teach them how to talk things out. Confidence is not a lack of fear, but a strong drive to continue to try and press on even when fear is present. Redirecting fears and taking control of those negative thoughts is the skill of a champion. It is our job to support our kids in redirecting their negative thoughts and focus on the positive outcome. Even when things get tough, working through those times is a skill we can teach.

Every moment and opportunity that a child takes part in sports provides a learning experience. The experiences can then be taken into everything else they do in life. As a parent, we must accept our child’s sports abilities and not place too high expectations on them. We must remember this is our child’s time. Not our glory days. Our role is the most important of all, and we must never forget this. We need to help our children bounce back from disappointment. We need to be there for the celebrations and those times when there are no words to heal the wounds of a loss. No matter what, no matter how old our kids are, our role in their athletic journey and their love for the game is to be their biggest fan and to love them unconditionally through all their sporting developments.

Judith Ehret is a Coach at Child Care Connections, where they support families and the local economy by encouraging quality child care and safety.