Keeping it Real

WRITTEN BY BLAIR FJESETH

I have entered a new phase of parenthood, which feels akin to navigating uncharted waters, a journey filled with excitement and trepidation due to fear of the unknown.

I’ve found absolute joy in each stage of my children’s growth. Those sweet newborn moments, the smell of fresh baby. The breastfeeding sagas, the losing my identity only to come through the fire a stronger woman with a better focus on life’s real priorities, my babies.

I’ve even written about the preteen journey we are entering, but what escaped me at the time was that the span of my children’s ages now range from preschool to preteen, and I find myself living in two different worlds. We’ve been in this same age gap forever, but the difference between having a kid and a newborn didn’t seem as foreign to me as having a kid and a tween.

In one conversation, I asked one child to wash her hands after finger painting while telling another for what felt like the millionth time that they absolutely needed to put on deodorant.

I’m jumping between talks about puberty and playing Barbies. In these moments, my brain needs a hot minute to figure out why we just went from accessorizing Barbie’s dream house to talking about body hair in weird places.

Dinner conversation is like a minefield as I try not to overcommunicate messages too big for a 5-year-old while being transparent and clear on issues so my oldest knows he can trust me for the truth.

And remember when we had landlines as kids? We should bring those back so my phone is no longer hijacked by my son to talk to other kids all evening about Roblox, Patrick Mahomes and whatever else these kids are into at the given moment.

My daughter is still in the carefree, innocent childhood phase, while her brother stands on the cusp of manhood, grappling with questions of identity and belonging.

As my son grows taller and more independent, I find myself struggling with the realization that he no longer needs me in the same way he once did, but cherishing what I know is the little time I have left before the other two reach that same stage.

As we navigate these waters together, I find myself leaning into the uncertainty, embracing the challenges as opportunities for growth and connection. I may not have all the answers, but I am learning to trust in the wisdom of my own intuition and the unwavering love that binds us together.

And yet, despite the bittersweet nature of this transition, there is also beauty to be found in the journey. I marvel at the unique individuals my children are becoming, each with their own dreams, passions and quirks. There are moments of frustration, of course. The eye rolls and exasperated sighs that come with the territory of parenting tweens can be enough to test even the most patient of souls. But beneath the surface lies a new vulnerability that tugs at my heartstrings and allows me to see that no matter what phase they are in, they will always need their mom.

Blair Fjeseth is a working professional and proud Montana mom. You can reach her at blairparker.inc@gmail.com. Follow her Instagram @blair_mt for more adventures.