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MENTAL HEALTH
Where Do We Go From Here? WRITTEN BY LORI JO BERG
“I don’t want to share my toys with my friends, mama. I’ll get COVID from the germs and get sick. I could die.” Whoa. That statement hit me hard coming from my 5-year-old kindergartener on our way to an outdoor playdate. The worst part? I didn’t have a response. Not a single one. Every time I opened my mouth to say something, it didn’t sound quite right or good enough. If you’re anything like me, you might feel like we’re living in limbo. Obviously, the pandemic is still rearing its ugly head, but glimpses of normal life are also appearing. Navigating between the two is tough. So, where do we go from here? My daughter’s statement still warrants a conversation as I ask myself the same question.
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16
MAY 2021
Do I take a deep dive into germs and let her know not all germs are bad? This seems like a poor response after everything they go through at school NOT to come into contact with any germs at all. Do I reassure her it’s OK not to share in a time like this? Navigating the death topic on top of it all is never easy and is especially tough right now. Much like all things parenting, the questions come easily and the answers do not. I’ve seen COVID-related issues (in kids and parents) ranging from fear of germs and noise to pure anxiety at the thought of leaving the house. I personally know a family who’s three preschoolers cry at the sight of someone other than mom or dad. After months of isolation, my 7-year-old is a different kid who now struggles with seemingly anything social.
So, again: Where do we go from here? After much thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that we’re going to have to fight and work hard every single day to retrieve what has been lost – whatever that may be for you and your family. If it’s a fear of socializing, start small and keep at it. If it’s a fear of germs, find that healthy balance and identify a few good germs (i.e., playing in the dirt). If it’s a child who is behind at school, seek out help. Maybe it’s a tutor, a grandparent or a weekly summer reading group at the library. I like to think of it as adding one small drop into the bucket every day, in hopes of filling it up over time. And let’s not forget the positive things that have come out of this crazy time. Maybe your family hasn’t experienced ear infections, the common cold or the flu as they have in past years. Perhaps we all have a better awareness of how germs are spread and have become better at keeping our hands away from our faces. Maybe it’s something as small as your school-aged child not sucking their thumb or finger anymore with all that maskwearing. And how about the major upgrade on the cleanliness of public places? Can your kids help you identify any other positive takeaways? I don’t think anyone can tell us where we go from here, exactly. But I do know that we all have it within ourselves to adapt, learn and move forward. As for me, I think I’ll start by asking my daughter a few questions and letting her take the lead on this one. Lori Jo is a Montana native, mother of three, and freelance writer who enjoys writing about the tougher side of life and connecting with her audience on a deeper level.
