Montana Woman Magazine, Issue No. 4, January/February 2020

authenticity and self-love

issue n o 302 january/ february 2020

archertown: music on mountain time

The Unleashing I love myself with a ruthlessness that has me blistering in flowers.

ARTWORK BY MEGAN CRAWFORD

au t u m n toen nis

table of BUSINESS |

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MIO MI CLOTHING

Sewing needles & climbing carabiners

HOME & HEARTH |

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STATION 8

New chapters

ART & DESIGN |

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ARTIST SPOTLIGHT

Debby Smith: guardian of intention

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THE WRIGHT WAY

New year, new sleep

FOOD & SPIRITS |

24

HERITAGE

Rowson Bavarian cream pie

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CREMA DE ZAPALLO

Perúvian butternut squash soup

36

RASKOL DRINKS

Bourbon & gin cocktails

LIFE |

56

SELF-LOVE

Create a commitment ceremony

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MINDFULNESS MATTERS

I know it when I feel it

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ARCHERTOWN: MAKING MUSIC ON MOUNTAIN TIME

CAROLINE KEYS: ALL THINGS LOVELY

contents ACTIVE & OUTDOOR |

60

A LETTER FROM THE FUTURE

Notes from 2035

66

DISCONNECTING & RECONNECTING

Be okay with being bored

70

AMBER'S TWO WORLDS Behind the scenes with Amber Rose Mason

HEALTH & WELLNESS |

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1 IN 5

Living with mental illness in Montana

78

HEALING HANDS

A woman’s journey to facial reflexology

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LEVITATION NATION

Practicing authenticity

82

KALISPELL REGIONAL

Creating memories through blankets

EDITOR'S DESK |

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Be kind to yourself

46

CHLOE NOSTRANT

Paradise Valley

3 / 54 / 85

AUTUMN TOENNIS

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK | IMAGE BY MEGAN CRAWFORD

Selected poems mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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montana woman This magazine has been in publication since 1994 and is a resource for women throughout the state of Montana.

Montana Woman is a platform. It’s built by women, for women. It’s a place to celebrate our achievements, a place to support each other, a place to acknowledge the resilience of the women of this state. It doesn’t necessarily matter where you’re from, you’re here now. In all of your loudness, your boldness, your fearlessness— you are here. We’re here, together.

…

We publish a statewide magazine that features women across Montana— the movers and shakers, the go-getters, the rule-breakers, the risk-takers.

We all have a story to tell.

OWNER & EDITOR megan crawford

CREATIVE DIRECTOR megan crawford

BUSINESS MANAGER carrie crawford

ADVERTISING

carrie crawford kelsey weyerbacher megan crawford

PHOTOGRAPHERS sheri beaman paige billings megan crawford jesslyn marie kelsey weyerbacher

EDITING DEPARTMENT megan crawford kelsey weyerbacher

about the back cover megan crawford MAMMOTH HOT SPRINGS, YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK M Y F I R S T F O O T S T E P S I N M O N TA N A W E R E THROUGH THE WILDS OF YELLOWSTONE. TIME AND TIME AGAIN, I WENT BACK TO HER SULPHUR POOLS AND WINDING RIVERS. WE BOTH CHANGED YEAR AFTER YEAR, BUT WE BOTH REMAIN. PRINTS AVAIL ABLE , CONTACT

INFO @ MONTANAWOMAN . COM FOR PRICING

PUBLIC REL ATIONS carrie crawford kelsey weyerbacher

ADVERTISING, DISTRIBUTION, & SUBMISSIONS: contact the editor at info@montanawoman.com or (406)260-1299

All material appearing in Montana Woman Magazine may not be reproduced in part or in whole without written consent of the owner.

All contents ©2019 Montana Woman. The views expressed by the writers are their own and do not reflect the opinions of Montana Woman Magazine. printed by century publishing in post falls, idaho

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letter FROM THE editor.

I’m not a resolutions kind of gal— most of resolutions I’ve made were involved in an elementary school assignment. That is, until 2018 rolled around.

I made a point to sit down at my typewriter and make a list of statements. My sweet little typewriter that, at the time, had an O key that refused to function. It wasn’t a list of unattainable goals or things that only involved my physical appearance: it was an open-ended list.

2018 XXXX 2018 RESOL.UTIONS 1. fix the margins in the Peru magazine (it's been two years).

2. work on a new project (but don't stress yourself out over not creating new work).

3. believe in yourself. you're doin' great.

4. maybe try learning french again? profiter du present.

5. go forth and kick ass (you can do it).

6. actually take your makeup off at the end of the day (please, megs).

7. if all else fails, forget this list and have a good time (except for #1, #3, #5, & #7).

Did I teach myself French? Non. But, I tried (and I’ll probably try again this year, until March rolls around). I did fix the margins on the Perú magazine. I didn’t start a new project, but I taught a workshop and sent a print to New York. I still haven’t started a new art project, but I have this whole magazine thing now, which would probably count for something.

So, what’s the takeaway from this list of resolutions that’s now two years old? Be kind to yourself.

You can list out resolutions and plan all you want, but life will happen anyway.

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CONTRIBUTORS

KELSEY WEYERBACHER

PAIGE BILLINGS

STEPHANIE EVANS PHOTO BY LINDSEY JANE

ALANA WRIGHT

CHLOE NOSTRANT

NICOLE DUNN

we all have a story to tell.

KATIE GERACI

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MEAGAN SCHMOLL

RACHEL HOPKINS PHOTO BY SHERI BEAMAN

SARAH HARDING

AUTUMN TOENNIS

JESSLYN MARIE

KRIS SELL

MINDY COCHRAN PHOTO BY KIRALEE JONES

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38 Hwy 2 East, Columbia Falls, MT

406-892-1123

station8antiques.com

PHOTO BY SHERI BEAMAN

behind the cover COVER MUSES natalie & kyle archer PHOTOGRAPHER megan crawford LOCATION scout + gather, columbia falls

article starts on page 38 mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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BUSINESS |

S E W I N G N EE DLE S AN D CLI M B I N G CARA B I N ER S :

Stitching Together the Story of Mio Mi Clothing ARTICLE BY KATIE GERACI

B

efore Miriam Schlotzhauer was the creator and owner of Mio Mi Clothing LLC, she was a bicycling acrobat in Austria, a trained HVAC technician, and a passionate climber.

With an unconventional path leading to Mio Mi Clothing, Schlotzhauer created the company to merge her passions for climbing, mountain sports, and sewing.

Sitting in her warmly decorated home that overlooks the Bridger Mountain range in Bozeman, Montana, Schlotzhauer tells me of her childhood in Vorarlberg, Austria: “I grew up very simply, and I think that’s what made me as a person.” Her simple, but cozy home attests to her upbringing, as she says, “I never expected much, and I was a happy kid. I was outdoors a lot.”

Miriam hasn’t always climbed, though. Her love of sports was established at a young age with artistic cycling— a sport involving acrobatic routines on a bicycle. By age 10, she won the

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Austrian mastership for her age group. But, it was at the affordable Roman Catholic all-girls private school her parents sent her to that Miriam learned how to cook and sew. She says, “I probably would have chosen a different school, but now, sewing is my main work, so I’m very thankful for that experience.”

Following school, Schlotzhauer switched gears and began a 4-year apprenticeship to become an HVAC technician, which meant attending school with 600 men and four women: “I was pretty proud that I mastered all of the challenges that this job brought in a very male-dominated category.” Miriam is the only Austrian woman to have finished that apprenticeship with honors.

Through all of these experiences, Miriam continued participating in sports. She also broke her back twice: once while snowboarding in 2008, and again in 2011 at the freestyle academy in Switzerland. She spent a year recovering from

her injuries, wheelchair-bound for a short time.

“I didn’t know what to do,” Miriam says. “I was a little depressed.”

A friend invited her to come climbing, and Miriam was hooked. She did her first big climbing trip several months later in southern France, where she met her husband, Henry, on top of a mountain. Schlotzhauer began climbing with zeal, completing coaching certifications for Austria and Switzerland— fully certified for coaching both indoor and basic outdoor climbing.

When she had her first daughter in May, 2014, ideas sprouted for Miriam about starting her own company and tying it to her passion for climbing.

“I loved the idea of sewing my own stuff,” Miriam says. “I never had a sewing machine. I couldn’t afford it. Our apartment in Austria was really small.”

While waiting for her green card, she took off with Henry and their two-year-old daughter in a self-renovated camper for six months, roving through Spain, Italy, and Switzerland. The simple living style Miriam was raised amongst was mirrored again for her: “We saw that living

minimally and modestly made us so happy.”

Once they moved to Bozeman and she had a sewing machine of her own, Miriam found a name for her company: Mio Mi. “Mio is Henry’s nickname for me, and ‘Mi’ means ‘my’ in my dialect.” Miriam started her LLC with the help of a friend, while pregnant with her second child and working part-time. Now, through her online store, she offers outdoor and sports clothing including: t-shirts, tank tops, long sleeves, and beanies. She orders some of her items pre-made, and then re-designs and re-uses the fabric for her own purposes, fully taking ownership of the design of each piece. Miriam explains that she thinks fabric is an incredible material: “So many people and machines touched that shirt before you bought it and before it was even a shirt.”

All of her products have a handmade finish or are completely handmade, like her chalk bags and chalk buckets. “I’m not a machine that produces 2,000 of these and sells them to everyone,” Miriam says. “Every stitch makes it unique.” As a way to promote her company, Miriam tries to support athletes with her clothing and gear, wears mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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her own products, cold-calls companies, and uses social media. No element of her company goes untouched by her work ethic.

Schlotzhauer tries to purchase fair trade items made in the U.S. and tries to keep her prices fair: “When you buy something for $5, the people who made it probably didn’t have the best paycheck. I don’t buy a .50 cent shirt and sell it for $50.”

For design inspiration, Miriam turns mostly to nature, music, and people. “In nature, the colors that our eyes see, you can’t put in a photo, you can’t put on fabric, but you can get pretty close.”

Miriam notes she “also needs emotions; that’s why music is really important to me.”

There is no happiness without sadness, no strength without weakness. Life always needs both.

Like many small businesses, Schlotzhauer admits she isn’t making much money. But, like many who follow their passions, she’s happy with the pace and loves what she does. She spends her days with her daughters, allowing family to remain the focal point of her day. “When the kids are in bed, the lights in my sewing room turn on,” Miriam says. “The machines are vibrating, and my creative mind is materializing ideas that I collected during the day.”

In her business and personal life, climbing is never far away for Schlotzhauer. She works out in unlikely places: doing pushups on the carpet while playing with her children, climbing on the wall and hangboard that Henry built in their garage. “I take every chance that I can, that’s my training schedule,” Miriam says, relating to many mothers and business owners alike.

Nestled amongst mountains again, though far from her childhood Alps, the outdoors remains rooted at the foundation of Schlotzhauer’s family dynamic. Whether bouldering or developing new climbing routes, the family loves exploring Montana’s outdoors: “I think Montana is a perfect place to try to become a better person.” As in her business, she says the family “always [tries] to be respectful of nature and people and leave a small footprint.”

Miriam is always working on fresh designs and functional products that help people pursue their own outdoor experiences with the care and attention she brings to each product. Her

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products can be found on her website, and her chalk bags are also sold at Spire Climbing Center in Bozeman. She also does hemming and mending services by appointment.

Despite her ups and downs in life, breaking her back twice, moving across the world, mothering strong daughters, and running her own business, Schlotzhauer remains optimistic in all that she does.

“Life is hard, but no matter how hard it is, there’s always a light at the end— you just have to find it,” Miriam says. “And if you lose that path or way, it’s okay to be in the darkness for a little bit,” she adds. “There is no happiness without sadness, no strength without weakness. Life always needs both.”

MIRIAM SCHLOTZHAUER, MIO MI CLOTHING, LLC www.miomiclothing.com For hemming and mending, call or text (406) 600-5744. Mon-Fri, 10am-3pm. mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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new

HOME & HEARTH |

CHAPTERS ARTICLE BY RACHEL HOPKINS IMAGES BY SHERI BEAMAN

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.

He is rich who owns the day…"

– ralph waldo emerson I love this quote and always attempt to remember it at the beginning of a new year. It reminds me to be grateful for every moment and to start each day with a positive outlook. Every year is like a blank page, the beginning of a new chapter. What I write or create with it is entirely up to me, and I always approach it as an exciting adventure!

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January is my planning month— the shop is generally slower after the holiday rush, and I have time to think about what I’ll do with my blank canvas of a shop for the coming year. And, as some of you may know, I’ll be working on decorating our newly remodeled house this year as well; another great canvas!

Here are a few things that are inspiring me as we roll into 2020:

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nature

I found myself with a new appreciation of natural elements being used in home décor when one of my vendors brought in a wasp’s nest. And even though this is by far not a new concept, I love the idea of using something as simple as a tree branch as a feature in your home.

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primitive antiques There is something amazing about the patina that can only come with age. I am always on the lookout for practical pieces aged to perfection through decades or centuries of use. Old farm tables, large pine hutches, and chippy sideboards are just a few of the pieces I’m always looking for to have at the shop.

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luxurious linens There’s nothing like beautiful linens to make a room complete. Fabulous throw pillows and blankets, linen drapes, and any well-upholstered chair can completely set a room apart!

Wool, linen, and velvet are among my favorite textiles to use in my home.

PHOTO BY MEGAN CRAWFORD

industrial elements

I love contrast as well, and I’m always on the search for rusty metal industrial pieces to pair with my primitive wood pieces. Factory Chic has actually become a style and has made finding these treasures increasingly difficult. Rusty metal lockers, or locker baskets with their number plates, metal shelving units from a factory or machine shop, metal or wood pulleys— all of these items can have a purposeful new life in your home.

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Every new year reminds me to take pride in what I do and reenergizes my desire to provide a wide selection of curious finds and inspiration to make your house the home of your dreams! So dare to ask yourself, “what will I create this year?” And if you’re in need of a little nudge, come into the shop and see what’s new!

–Rachel Hopkins Owner of Station 8 mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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PHOTO BY GARRETT SMITH

guardian of intention: Debbie Smith’s Journey to Play

ARTICLE BY KELSEY WEYERBACHER IMAGES BY DEBBIE SMITH

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There is a garden that my childhood exists in.

A place of ordered chaos, where boisterous plants grew among native flowers and pathways meandered through a yard unlike any other I had ever been in. Debbie Smith, a fiber artist and gardener extraordinaire, lived halfway between my parent’s farm and Miles City in what only could be described as a folk art home of intention. Intricate quilted pieces hung on the walls and lay folded on chairs, with a new project always sitting out on the dinner table if you came to visit.

Creating her businesses by virtue of necessity, Debbie is honest about the beginnings of her work: “I was a stay-at-home mom and a ton of what I did was by circumstance of living so far out from everything. But, that’s what I am. My heart-of-hearts is being a mother.” As a child, Debbie was moving constantly— a dozen times by the age of 18. When I asked where she grew up, she simply laughed and said, “I come from everywhere.”

Debbie moved to Montana in 1978 to attend the University of Montana, but left during her third year when she couldn’t decide on a major.

During that time, she married her husband, Phil, and moved to a ranch outside of Cascade, Montana, where her story of community began: “We were isolated, but we were in a community. I think that’s where I first became really intrigued by different personalities, because it was kind of a community of people who were recluses. And the characters on ranches back then were a lot of drifters and all different kinds of people.”

It was on the ranch that Debbie and Phil began their family and she began to revisit working with her hands. Debbie’s understanding of gardening and sewing were both inspired by her grandmother, who taught her to sew at a young age: “My mother’s mother lived very simply. My life in Kinsey pretty much echoed my maternal grandparents. My maternal grandmother was a quilter, cook, and gardener.”

Debbie credits her mom’s playful character and smile with giving her “the gift of joy” through which she approaches her daily life. That joy began to be found in her sewing, as she worked from embroidery to spinning to knitting. Debbie slowly began experimenting with fiber arts, though not always successfully: “I made a quilt with found shirts that ended up being a huge waste of time because everything rotted!” Quilting became integral in Debbie’s early motherhood, due to the availability of the task throughout the day. “I could take those nap times and small parts of the day and go sit at the machine or do handwork,” Debbie explained. But, the machine isn’t where Debbie’s art exists: “Handwork is what I love. I don’t like the machine. I think handwork has always been really meditative for me, along with my gardening.”

When the family moved to the Miles City area from the ranch in the late 90s, Debbie’s two oldest sons were in high school. “The kids were getting older and we realized we didn’t own anything.

We were living at someone else’s ranch. So, we decided to look for something we could call our own.” Renting a home in the Pine Hills for a year, the Smith family finally found a home in Kinsey.

Debbie began working part-time at the local quilt shop in Miles City when they moved to the area, where she began meeting people. Once the family bought their home in Kinsey, the garden planting began. In 2000, her flower business came mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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ART & DESIGN |

into existence inspired by the bouquets she would deliver to a friend battling cancer. Displaying small handmade items including tiny wallhangings like one that sits above the light switch to my own studio, Debbie’s work soon amazed the community, leading to small art shows, but building to larger ones, including nation-wide exhibits such as the 5th National Juried Fine Art Craft Guild Exhibit in Hilton Head, South Carolina.

When her sister-in-law asked Debbie to make a Garden Angel Doll as a baby gift for someone in 2013, the idea for her Guardians collection began. Her mixed media art figures emerged as she considered the essence of those surrounding her and her desire “to go beyond the way people looked physically and find their joyful core within them and express that in my work.” Utilizing a multitude of crafts, Debbie creates each Guardian piece from an interaction she has with someone. In considering what they represent, she begins to create: “I don’t just go ‘Oh, I’m going to make a Guardian!’ It takes time. It comes to me.

Someone once asked me how many of these I can make a month and I go, ‘Uhh… maybe none?’ It all depends. I have to feel inspired. It has to make sense to me.”

With a small bell sewn behind the right wing of each Guardian, Debbie pays homage to her mother’s playful spirit. “I truly believe that we each have a core of love deep within us. And

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maybe when I go searching for it in people and create these guardians, they realize it themselves.”

Just last month, Debbie and her husband, Phil, left their home in Kinsey, Montana, to create a new life in Helena, where her two granddaughters live.

The day I called Debbie to interview her for our “authenticity” issue, she was weathering a storm, as she mentioned that she and her husband were closing on a house after finalizing the sale on their Kinsey home and experiencing the loss of Phil’s father all within a week’s time. The move, however, was incredibly intentional, as two of their three sons find a home in Helena.

In this transitory stage, Debbie finds herself questioning her artwork and what will continue to inspire it in this new and unfamiliar place: “I was making notes about revisiting my art, and I realized what a lot of it is now is play. My art is about play. And to be with [my granddaughters], it’s like shifting what has been my inspiration. In Kinsey, my inspiration was the wide open space and this connection with feeling so isolated. Now, I think my inspiration is going to come from my grandkids.” In playing with her granddaughters, Debbie finds herself returning to her playful spirit.

To her, it is “that blissful place of childhood where all things are possible and bees can be purple!”

The two young girls ignite her imagination.

Alongside the intention of her Guardian pieces, Debbie practices the act of play in her Assemblage

Art pieces, where she utilizes found objects and incorporates them into small wall-hangings that display her creatures of invention. Debbie and Phil’s oldest son, Mic, lives in Helena with his wife, Emily, and their two daughters. Together, they own and operate True North Woodwork, where Mic practices his own play in a wood medium through artisan woodwork and general contracting. Play is obvious in their son Garret’s career as a photographer and documentary filmmaker, where he travels the world to bring controversial and complicated topics to light for the public. And, the theme finds itself again in their youngest son, Drew’s, work as an adventure photographer and climber. Play, Debbie notes, is often synonymous with risk: “We talk a lot about Garret and Drew and the great risks with what they do in their careers, but I was telling Mic and Emily the other day, ‘It takes tremendous courage to be a parent.’ The love you have for a child is beyond anything you could ever imagine.

But, vulnerability goes beyond yourself, too. All of a sudden for the rest of your life forever, you’re going to worry about the well-being about that little being in your care. That’s really courageous.”

In the months before Debbie moved, I visited her garden, collecting cuttings for the wedding of another child of Kinsey. We laughed and walked along her hidden pathways, as she lifted plants, tearing up now and then as she discussed leaving this place behind that she had spent so many years cultivating. The decision to move to Helena was not an easy one, but a necessary one. The intention of family is strong: one that sat at the root of every decision Debbie and Phil have made as parents. From her grandmother’s inspiration of handmade work, her mother’s joyful presence, to her own mothering, Debbie’s biggest adventure is just beginning as a present grandmother ready to play. I can only imagine what her granddaughters will learn to make as they sit at her feet.

You can view Debbie Smith’s work at: WEBSITE: debbiesmithart.com INSTAGRAM: @debsmithart ETSY: debsmithART

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ART & DESIGN |

new year, new sleep

BY AARON SKINNER & AL ANA WRIGHT WRIGHT’S FURNITURE

It can be hard to find the time to take care of yourself— our schedules seem fuller than ever. Taking the time to eat healthy, exercise, and get enough sleep can seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be that way. We can help with a good night’s sleep! Our In-Store Sleep Center at Wright’s Furniture carries a full line of mattress options, and our well-trained sales team will help make the purchase of a mattress as stress-free as possible.

Is the purchase of a new mattress worth it? We live in a world of 24-hour news cycles with a level of

interconnectivity that makes it seem like the world never sleeps.

Despite all the advances in technology, sleep has remained an essential part of health and wellbeing. There have been countless studies examining the benefits of being well-rested. Benefits include reduced stress, increased happiness, lower blood pressure, and an overall higher level of wellbeing. Taking care of yourself is as easy as choosing a mattress that provides the comfort and support that will allow you to wake up each day feeling relaxed and well-rested.

Why are we confident a new mattress will make a difference? It all starts with our mattress supplier,

Therapedic. They’re smaller than the big brands, which allows them to be more responsive to you, our customers. Yet, they have a strong reputation, giving their brand the credibility that offbrands cannot match. Their mattresses are designed to support your body with a good night’s rest, and their bed top products are designed to maximize your comfort and sleep experience.

Quality materials and expert craftsmanship combine to bring you mattresses and sleep products that are made to last, giving you the most comfort and the best value for your sleep investment.

Therapedic sources suppliers globally for quality materials to build the most comfortable mattresses and sleep products that can be found almost anywhere in the world.

Have you tried a Latex Mattress? Talalay latex cores and comfort layers are resilient, luxurious, breathable, and incredibly comfortable. Latex is derived from the rubber tree and, in its finished form, consists of millions of tiny round bubbles that 20

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prevent your pressure points from settling on a hard and unyielding surface. The lack of pressure results in increased blood flow that reduces tossing and turning that will result in a deeper and more restful sleep. It conforms to your body’s natural shape, keeping your body and spine in a comfortable position. Latex cells are thick-walled and can withstand years of use, remaining more comfortable for a longer period of time than other cushioning materials.

Are you looking for the value and stability of a coiled mattress? We carry a lineup of several styles of mattresses that will match your

comfort needs while providing you with the best value. They vary from foam-encased support units to pocketed, edge-to-edge coil systems. We also carry hybrids that provide the best features of traditional and latex mattresses. No matter your preference of mattress, we are confident we can find the one that works the best for you. mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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M O N TA N A’ S C O M P L E T E F U R N I T U R E & D E S I G N R E TA I L E R S I N C E 19 76 It’s no accident that Wright’s Furniture in Whitefish has become a favorite destination for home furnishings and accents. Since the first family members opened the business doors in 1976, Wright’s Furniture has focused on providing competitive prices backed by service and highly knowledgeable staff. Now, the third generation of the Wright family is active in the business.

Wright’s Furniture provides endless variety, carrying product lines from hundreds of manufacturers, plus specialty furniture, accents, and art from local artisans and craftspeople. With over 60,000 square feet of combined showroom and warehouse space, a vast display area is provided, allowing more floor settings to view in search of design ideas. Prices range from low to high and “Apples to Apples,” Wright’s guarantees the lowest price within 250 miles. To further extend their commitment to satisfaction, Wright’s “Satisfy the Customer” policy is unparalleled, allowing the return of items immediately after delivery if not happy with the selected product.

Ready to serve with 25 caring employees, Wright’s Furniture is open 7 days a week.

Wright’s offers in-house design services, product specialists, special orders, service repair, and free delivery for trips less than 100 miles round trip.

The Wright’s welcome you to stop by at 6325 Highway 93 South in Whitefish and explore their unique and interesting selections as so many people have done for three generations. Wright’s Furniture, Montana’s Complete Furniture and Design Retailer since 1976.

O P E N D A I LY 6 3 25 H I G H WAY 93 S O U T H , W H I T E F I S H M T 40 6 -8 6 2 -245 5 FREE DELIVERY | FREE DESIGN SERVICES wrightsfurniturestore.com

t h e row s on ' s

CHOC OL AT E BAVAR I AN CR E AM P IE by mega n c r aw ford

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FOOD & SPIRITS |

C

hocolate Bavarian cream pie has been a Rowson holiday staple for generations.

Of course, like most family recipes, I thought that the Bavarian cream pie was a proprietary Rowson family heirloom.

heritage recipe is dedicated to my Nana, her sheer stubbornness, and her eternal love for Bavarian cream pie. If we could successfully airmail a pie, it would happen. The next time we’re together, we’ll make a pie.

When I was 17, my mom gave me The Gourmet Cookbook, which has been shared among women in my family for decades. I opened the book and, lo and behold, there was a recipe for Bavarian cream pie— eerily similar to the Rowson recipe, but just different enough that our recipe was still its own. Despite us always calling it chocolate Bavarian cream, the chocolate is in the crust instead of the filling.

Miraculously, my Nana is back home and quickly recovering. I’m not too surprised, though. There’s a particular strain of strong will in my family, and I’m almost certain it all comes directly from her.

I remember years of this pie: birthdays, Christmases, anything that called for celebration.

It’s my Nana’s favorite pie, and so she is the reigning Bavarian cream pie creator. Even this past Thanksgiving, she made an entire pie before being rushed to the hospital. A twisted intestine will not keep Sharon Rowson from pie, and it didn’t. Of course, despite making the pie, a two week stay in the hospital meant that she couldn’t enjoy what she made. So, this month’s

CARRIE, MIMI, SHARON (NANA), DON, GRANDMA VICK, & VICKY. 26

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*** As I previously mentioned, this pie’s been around: my great-great grandmother, my great grandmother, my Nana, my aunts, my mom, and myself (once, with my mom’s help, because I had heard too many stories about scalded milk and whipped cream that turned into butter).

Throughout the years, the recipe has stayed exactly the same. A simple chocolate graham cracker crust, vanilla custard, and a helping of chocolate sprinkles (or chocolate shavings if you’re feeling fancy, but we’re definitely more of a sprinkle bunch).

SHARON AND HER BROTHER, GARY, CIRCA 1940.

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FOOD & SPIRITS |

ingredients CUSTA R D 1 envelope of gelatin (1 tablespoon) 1⁄4 cup of cold water 3 egg yolk, slightly beaten 1⁄2 cup of sugar 1⁄4 teaspoon salt 1 cup of milk, scalded 1 teaspoon of vanilla 3 egg whites, stiffly beaten 1 cup of heavy cream, whipped

CRUST 1 1⁄4 cups crushed graham crackers (about 12 graham crackers) 1⁄3 cup of butter, melted 4-5 heaping tablespoons nestle quik TOPPING Chocolate sprinkles

1.

For the crust, mix crushed graham crackers, melted butter, and nestle quik in a small bowl until blended. If the crust is too dry, add butter as needed.

2. Press the crust into a pie pan, set aside.

3. In a small bowl, soften gelatin in water.

4. In a saucepan, combine egg yolk, sugar, and salt.

Slowly add scalded milk. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly.

5. Heat until mixture coats a wooden spoon.

6. Revmove from heat, then stir in gelatin.

7. Fill a large bowl or pan with ice and water. Set pan in ice water to cool.

8. Fold in egg whites, whipped cream, and vanilla.

9. Pour into pie crust and top with chocolate sprinkles.

10. Refrigerate for at least three hours.

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from OUR readers

I have a new subscription to Montana Woman and I love it! I have about 6 magazine subscriptions and this magazine and O Magazine are the only ones I read cover to cover. I love the content and always feel uplifted when I have finished. It is exciting to read about fellow female entrepreneurs.

Great job Megan, keep up the wonderful job!

– Kathleen Tansey Riggs Owner, Tansey & Riggs Just wanted to let you know I got a case of your magazines dropped off at my shop, I own River Rising Bakery in Hamilton, and I love it! What a beautiful, unique, well put together magazine. I have been handing them out to everyone I know. As a womanowned business, I love and appreciate this so much! Keep it up!

– Nicki Ransier Owner, River Rising Bakery

Coconut at Sea Soap Co. W W W . C O C O N U TAT S E A . C O M

Our mission is t o help f olk s f eel good— inside a nd o ut. Hea l t hy, c l ea n sk i n a nd ha i r o n t he out side, and good kar ma on t he inside.

We ar e a f amil y r un business commit t ed t o sus t ainability and zer o was t e. c olumbia fall s | helena | kalispell | whitefish

FOOD & SPIRITS |

Crema de zapallo 30

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PerĂşvian butternut squash soup for cold winter days.

BY MEGAN CRAWFORD

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FOOD & SPIRITS |

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Cusco, Perú sits at

11,152 feet in elevation. The first time I had crema de zapallo was in a small restaurant in Cusco, still unadjusted to the altitude. The walls were the same color as the bowl of soup in front of me and my head felt like it was a helium balloon. I didn’t know what the soup was when it was set in front of me, but it was perfect— warm, velvety, sweet, savory. And so, in that small butternut-colored restaurant, I realized how much I loved squash soup (despite the strange out-of-body moments from the altitude).

While squash soups are commonly considered an autumnal staple, they’re still comforting yearround (Cusco in July, for example). In these winter months, after the rush and excitement of the holidays, it’s easy to grow tired of the snow.

But, this is the season for soup! Crema de zapallo is primarily vegetable-based (and could easily be translated to a vegan recipe by replacing heavy cream with more vegetable stock). Acorn and butternut squash are among some of the most

nutrient-rich varieties of squash. So, not only is it a perfect cold weather soup, it also packs a punch.

Since it’s soup, the recipe is open to interpretation: add more sweet potato, only use butternut squash, replace vegetable stock for chicken stock, replace thyme with sage— make it your own!

For this soup, I read through a variety of recipes, from traditional crema de zapallo to contemporary American butternut squash soup. American varieties tend to be sweeter with additions of honey, maple syrup, or apple juice, but crema de zapallo leans more toward the spicy/savory side of the spectrum. You can adjust the amount of heat by changing how much cayenne pepper you add (I, admittedly, was a bit overzealous to begin with). If you find that you’ve added too much cayenne, you can cut it with additional heavy cream or brown sugar.

This recipe yields about 6-8 servings and can be kept refrigerated or frozen, which makes it perfect for our long winter evenings.

ingredients One butternut squash 3 tablespoons brown sugar One acorn squash 1 cup heavy cream (additional cream needed for ½ of a sweet potato garnish) 1 yellow onion 1 teaspoon salt 2 cloves of garlic 1 teaspoon pepper 2 springs of fresh thyme (or other herb of your 1 teaspoon nutmeg choice) ¼ teaspoon paprika 4 cups vegetable stock ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper 2 tablespoons olive oil Pepitas (plain or roasted)

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steps 1. Fill a medium pot halfway with water and bring to

a boil.

2. Cut squash in half. Peel, scoop out seeds, and cut

into ½” pieces. Cut the sweet potato in half and slice, set aside.

3. Boil squash until tender, then drain and set aside.

4. While the squash is boiling, mince garlic and dice

onion.

5. In a separate, large pan, heat olive oil. Sauté onion and garlic until golden brown. Add the pieces of raw sweet potato into the pan.

6.

Once the sweet potato has softened slightly, add the squash. Combine.

7. Add vegetable stock, salt, pepper, paprika, cayenne

pepper, thyme, and brown sugar. Let simmer for 10 minutes.

8. Remove from heat and let cool slightly.

9. Blend on high (or use a soup setting) in batches until smooth.

Note: I used a regular stand blender while the soup was fairly hot. You can use an immersion blender, but a stand blender will typically yield smoother results.

10.

Garnish with heavy cream and pepitas. For the cream, you can use anywhere from 1 teaspoon to 1 tablespoon.

Note: For leftovers, let the soup cool before placing it in a refrigerator or freezer.

SERVES: 6-8

SACRED VALLEY, PERÚ | MEGAN CRAWFORD

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see the art & make the art at the square a contemporary art museum

The Paris Gibson Square Museum of Art (The Square) in Great Falls, Montana has been exhibiting art, teaching art and supporting the development of contemporary art and artists since 1977. Housed in the historic Great Falls school built in 1896 by Paris Gibson, the founder of Great Falls.

The Square is known for its exceptional rotating exhibitions showing local, regional and national contemporary artists, in addition to its outdoor sculpture garden and educational gallery programing. The museum offers outstanding onsite studio classes to the community in ceramics, printmaking, painting, drawing and more!

PARIS GIBSON SQUARE MUSEUM OF ART

1400 First Avenue North Great Falls, MT 59401 (406)727-8255 www.the-square.org www.facebook.com/PGSMOA/

HOURS OF OPERATION

Open Monday-Friday 10am to 5pm, including Tuesday Evenings 5-9pm, and Saturday Noon to 5pm. Closed Sundays and Select Holidays.

free admission!

Exhibitions presented by Paris Gibson Square Museum of Art are supported in part by the Montana Arts Council, a state agency funded by the State of Montana and the National Endowment for the Arts. Additional funding is provided by museum members and the citizens of Cascade County, and generous support from Montana Federal Credit Union and D.A. Davidson.

FOOD & SPIRITS |

Dorothy’s Red Shoes 1 oz Willies Bighorn Bourbon 1 oz Just Cran (unsweetened) 0.25 oz Maple Syrup 0.25 oz Fresh Lemon Juice Sparkling Wine

Add all ingredients except the Sparkling Wine into a mixing glass and top with ice. Give it a quick shake then strain into a flute. Top with Sparkling Wine.

For the garnish, take a peel of lemon and hold between your thumb and forefingers above the glass with the pretty side down. Give it a quick pinch and notice the oils that alight on the surface of the drink.

Curl and place the peel on the lip of the glass. Smile and sip.

HANKY PANKY 2 oz Spotted Bear Gin 1 oz Cinzano Sweet Vermouth 0.25 oz Fernet Branca

Add all ingredients into a mixing glass and top with ice. Stir and look demurely around the room until the liquid is chilled. Strain into a martini glass.

Taking a peel of orange, hold it between your thumb and forefingers above the glass. Give it a quick pinch and watch as the oils alight on the surface of the drink. Curl and place the peel on the lip of the glass.

Spotted Bear Gin adds an elegant floral component to this classic cocktail but feel free to change it up and see how the Juniper potent Tanqueray or Whistling Andy Cucumber Gin add their own personal flair.

RECIPES BY MEAGAN SCHMOLL | RASKOL DRINK 36

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DOROTHY'S RED SHOES | PHOTO BY MEGAN CRAWFORD

I enjoy Willie's Bighorn Bourbon in this particular drink but feel free to try it with other Bourbons. Each will bring their own character and twists to the cocktail.

FEATURE |

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making music on mountain time. kyle & natalie archer | archertown ARTICLE & IMAGES BY MEGAN CRAWFORD

PHOTO BY MARK GALLUP, 2019

life moves in ways that we don’t

expect— time, circumstance, people, place— it takes us. The whats and what whys are muddied, but it takes us either way. For Kyle and Natalie Archer, it began in 2006 in an elevator in New York City.

From Montana to California to New York to Tennessee and back to Montana, the Archers have journeyed together through life. What began as a chance introduction on their way to a recording studio turned into playing together at the Bitter End in front of a producer who signed them onto a production deal. And so came the early days of Archertown.

Although the duo has gone through names, genres, and cities, their core has stayed the same: creating music together. After their meeting in New York, Kyle moved to the city to be closer to Natalie, who was living in Connecticut at the time. A year later, they headed back to California, where Kyle was going to school, and played together as a duo. From California, they moved to Nashville, just a few months before their wedding in Montana.

Throughout all of the moves, they continued to write and perform. When they were in Nashville, they received a publishing deal and took on the name Archertown. *** Their songwriting process starts with a spark— a lyric, a melody, a title, a story— and the rest begins to fall into place from there. “We love writing lots of different genres, and we love writing for lots of different types of artists, people, and projects,” 40

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Natalie notes. From country to pop to rock to folk, they bend genres in their writing. In their personal work, though, the duo stays with a contemporary country sound.

While they’ve drawn inspiration from different artists (Kyle noting O.A.R. and John Mayer, Natalie reminiscing on the classic early oughts group, No Doubt), they both found an early love for music in the classic country artists their fathers listened to. Kyle’s love for playing and creating music goes back to his childhood, and before they met in New York, Natalie performed solo and was a lead actress on the television series “Rescue Me,” where she worked for seven years.

It was during that time that she met Kyle, and the two began their musical journey.

When asked which song is one of their favorites, Kyle and Natalie both noted “10 Years From Now,” a love song that they wrote to each other in Nashville. The song came about from a conversation the two had about how far they’d come and where they could be in ten years— it was the first song the duo co-wrote after their move to the music city:

“We could buy a little sand in Mexico, or stay in this town baby, I don’t know.

You’re the only thing that I’m really sure about 10 years from now.

Life’s an open road, We’ll find out as we go And that’s all right with me.

If I’m in your arms It don’t matter where we are It’s where we’re supposed to be”

KYLE, NATALIE, AND JOHN AT UNDER THE BIG SKY, 2019.

Not long after their wedding in 2013, at the age of 24, Natalie was diagnosed with Leukemia.

After five months of treatment, they decided to take a step away from music and make the move back to Montana for a fresh start and to be closer to family. For the eight years prior, Kyle and Natalie were constantly going— writing almost every day and traveling from New York to Los Angeles to Nashville. “Since we were living in Nashville at the time and writing every day, music felt like a link to this terrible event that had taken place in our lives, and we needed a clean break.

All we wanted to do at that time was focus on getting healthy and living our life to the fullest in Montana.”

Kyle and Natalie welcomed their sweet baby boy, Boden, into the world in March 2019, and in October, Natalie celebrated five years of being cancer-free. “It’s been a resurgence of our music

and our passion for it… [Boden] inspires us every day. He’s our little miracle after everything,” she recalls. Now, at home in Montana, music is even more joyous— it’s something they can do together without stress or pressure. From summer gigs around the Flathead Valley with Kyle’s longtime friend, John, to performing at the 2019 Under The Big Sky festival in Whitefish, it’s a new beginning for Archertown.

In December 2019, Archertown recorded a new EP at Snowghost Studios in Whitefish with musicians from Portland and Los Angeles. It’s slated to be released in February with six songs, four being new tracks. They’ll also be performing at the 2020 Under The Big Sky festival in Whitefish in July.

ARCHERTOWNMUSIC.COM APPLE MUSIC | SPOTIFY | SOUNDCLOUD @ARCHERTOWNMUSIC

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the strongest & sweetest songs yet remain to be sung WALT WHITMAN

from OUR readers I get so excited when I see the white envelope arrive, I pour a cup of coffee and proceed to lose an hour or so, immersed in the delight of the senses that is Montana Woman magazine. From the recyclable envelope, to the feel and design of the beautiful cover, the photography, the type usage, the graphics, the interesting articles and recipes, I find it so joyful to slow down and get lost in Montana. Montana Woman magazine is a wonderful publication for women to share their awesome stories while empowering the rest of us to seek and live our true passions. Megan (editor and owner) has done an artful job of creating a publication way beyond imagination! Thank you to everyone involved for your passion and hard work. I hope to see more publications from all over the country that empower and inspire women like Montana Woman magazine does for me! – L.G. Washington

This magazine is not just for Montana Women! There is something for everyone from the visual pleasure of the photographs to the tactile sense of touching each thick page. The mouthwatering fudge recipe that transported me back to my Grandmother's kitchen to a new wave gluten free recipe for chocolate peppermint cake. The heart felt sentiments that sometimes make me cry or laugh or just pause a moment. And maybe that is the key, when I pick up this magazine I press the pause button and spend time savoring each page.

I have shared the issues with friends and family at the house but I have not yet been able to give one away, although that is my intent. I will savor them a little longer before I send them on to a new home. Maybe after the next issue arrives. Thank you Megan for creating this gem! – M.J.D. California

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&

CHEFS CHAMPAGNE ART 2020

Saturday, February 1st | 6:00pm

Six local chefs will compete for the title of Champion Chef based on presentation, taste, and best use of champagne. Each ticket must be purchased in advance. Your evening will be inclusive of appetizers, food, dessert, wine, beer and live music.

Chefs, Champagne, and Art is a fundraising event which also includes a silent auction. 100% of the proceeds benefit museum programs and exhibitions.

SUNDAY SESSIONS • yoga • live music • photography • film • dance • community

Paris Gibson Square Museum of Art 1400 First Avenue North Great Falls, MT 59401 (406)-727-8255 the-square.org

TICKE TS $85 FOR NON-MEMBERS $75 FOR MEMBERS

PARADISE VALLEY

BY CHLOE NOSTRANT

I wondered what the headlights coming south thought of us. They were headed down the valley and it was already well past midnight. No one had any business on this highway at this hour, especially us. We bounced softly between the lines, partially from the infamous wind, partially from the bad shocks and maybe a little bit from the shot of Pendleton.

I watched the dark peaks above us through the icy passenger side window. They were somehow still visible and still looming through the dark night. The full moon was reflecting just enough off the snow that covered the mountains. They were bigger and more judgemental at 1 o’clock in the morning, almost like they were telling me to watch myself.

I took off my cowboy hat and leaned my head back on the headrest. The dog behind me sat up and sniffed my hair before settling back into his self imposed task of finding all the stray grouse feathers under the seat. We made our way down the straight two-lane highway and finally passed the other set of headlights. I squinted as the beams filled the cab of our truck with light and kept my eyes closed for a second longer while I took a few deep breaths. I opened my eyes just as we passed Mallard’s Rest. Mallard’s Rest may be one of the best displays of the Yellowstone River in the area. You stand on a plateau above the river and look down on it— in all of its mighty glory. Tonight, the river looked cold and rigid. Its banks were icing up— in the summertime its flows pushed around cottonwood trees, now it pushed icebergs. The view from the top of Mallards Rest lets you see the problems you might run into while navigating the water. When you’re on the river those things can sneak up on you and tear you up, even if someone warns you about them.

The mountains and the river are what make up Paradise Valley, a wise windy valley. As we made out of the valley and into town, I looked over at you.

Next time, I will listen to the valley.

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ARTICLE & IMAGES

BY NICOLE TAVENNER

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FEATURE |

I was cleaning out some boxes of old photos and ephemera and found a precious floppy, leathercovered book of poetry. It stayed on my mantel for a year without anyone ever opening its pages to experience the love poems and golden verses hidden inside. Each time I saw it, I wondered why it was put in my path. I enjoy poetry, I love vintage books, and even more, I love holding the soft leather and imagining the work going into an embossed cover and the words collected. It was an object of mystery, and I felt a small guilt of owning something so lovely that others cannot share. It remained an enigma through the past few seasons. Until last month…

Last fall, a musician friend of mine, Chris Sand, asked if he could bring some friends to play at one of his shows at our new venue, The Grey Leaf Gallery in Ronan. I happily agreed and went to Caroline Keys’s website to research the music and story of the artist who was voted the Missoula Independent’s musician of the year in 2018. I streamed the songs off her album, Mean To Stay, from a little phone’s speaker, and they instantly left me in awe.

Songs to fall in love to: “Dance Wax,” followed 50

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by the title track— two dreamy mixes of steel guitar and layered strings— left me imagining a prolonged slow dance in a dark corner of a roadside pub or eating green curry at 2 am by candlelight. I can’t get enough of her banjo riffs and gentle duets in “Snow” while drinking tea and staring out the window, planning life near and far. Songs to road trip with: my nine-yearold daughter who now knows all the words and harmonies to “Fort Benton” while we drive our daily 30-minute commute to school. I play with the thought of committing to take two-step lessons to stomp around the porch to the fun summer beats of "Two Story House.” And my personal favorite, a song of reflection: “A Grainy Taste,” which takes me back so many decades of windows down while driving back-roads, friends from the past, heart-heavy accomplishments and mistakes, the mystery of the new years’ projects.

To my delight, weeks later, Caroline played the show that night along with Nate Biehl, Chris Sand, Ian Smith, and Grace Decker and charmed our audience of locals along with pie and more musical surprises. We talked about projects, and I learned she has been coming up to Ronan for the past four years to teach poetry to fifth

graders. This was her first year coming into Pablo Elementary, supported by the same Missoula Writer’s Collaborative project funded by the National Endowment of the Arts. All this poetry and outreach with our students, happening just blocks away. I was lucky enough to be assigned by our local paper, The Valley Journal, to photograph Caroline’s classroom and Poetry Showcase at the Salish Kootenai College. I was able to witness her charm ignite students with a ukulele and open their hearts and minds with laughter, excitement, and care. Their words and stories flowed. I thought of first listening to Caroline’s album— that was it. Music, poetry— conversation that triggers all five senses. Her teaching and foundations that she shares are an integral part of her music. A safe place to open up emotions, whether silly or serious. These moments matter big and small.

These stories matter and are important for both students and adults to share.

I followed up with a visit north for the launch of the 24th issue of Whitefish Review’s collection honoring teachers.

There, Caroline played music along with friends and colleagues, as honorary speakers Rick

Bass and Debra Magpie Earling read poems and stories. Little gifts of light and harmony, triggering the five senses and compelling me now as a visual artist to delve into writing, dancing, reflection, tasting new teas and spices, exploring new fragrances, and humming along to a steel guitar or banjo riffs during daily tasks. I look forward to new road trips to turn on her playlist and see what ideas and emotions spark in between the measures.

Like a songbird that we are delighted to see return in the backyard each spring, Caroline is a mix of an ethereal Mourning Dove, a sweet chirp of a Chickadee, with the wisdom and humor of a Magpie and the unknown nocturnal hunting of a Barn Owl. But mostly, she is the rare gift of a melodic Montana Meadowlark, with bright yellow feathers high up on a treetop, spotted on a long drive or morning walk. She migrated into our Northwest territory and shares her songs, her words, and her heart. I knew exactly what gift of thanks in exchange for all that she has evoked and inspired in my artist’s heart: a floppy, leather book of words, a mystery, and gift of All Things Lovely.

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You would be surprised that a steady gaze, a slight raise of an eyebrow (the left one) and a hand hooked casually around a strap, blends you into confidence. You would be surprised that people will unfold paper fan maps, thumbtacked with questions, ask you to raise your hands in directions you didn’t know 24 hours ago. I must have the look of carrying street maps under my skin, an easiness in posture of belonging wherever I stand. They cannot tell how I wander about, comfortably lost in my own head for years at a time, though my feet move firmly, my back leans casually, my eyes rove brightly. What a glorious thing to be a local in your own body. au t u m n toen nis 54

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PHOTO BY MEGAN CRAWFORD

Locality

LIFE |

SELF-LOVE COMMITMENT CEREMONY

I

BY STEPHANIE EVANS

spend a lot of time writing marriage ceremonies for elopements here in Montana. I found the path of writing about love-to-be put in front of me unexpectedly.

My friend Lindsey, who is a photographer for Elope Montana, was talking about how busy they had become— so busy with love that they were having a hard time keeping up. She then looked at me with stars in her eyes and said, “You! You should help officiate the elopements!!” I looked at her, with stars in my eyes, and said, “Yes! Of course I will!” I was serious. I felt it in my deep in my core. This would be a beautiful journey for love, commitment, and life.

The very fact that officiating elopements and writing wedding ceremonies even came to me baffles me still to this day. Why would this beautiful opportunity come to me at this time in my life? Why did I so wholeheartedly jump into it? The answer came to me as I sat down to write a ceremony that would be performed in Glacier National Park for a couple from Chicago. Before I write a ceremony, I have the couple fill out a sweet little questionnaire telling me a bit about their relationship, their love, their challenges, their commitment to one another, their quirks and humor, their comforts and strengths. While taking notes and comparing answers to this particular

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questionnaire, a tremendous chill came over my entire body— a complete visceral sensation. The answer? I need to commit to myself. We all need to commit to ourselves. How can we love another if we don’t first love ourselves?

SELF-LOVE. SELF-CARE. SELFCOMMITMENT. AUTHENTICIT Y. How can you love another when you haven’t learned to love yourself ? Who can you truly commit to if you haven’t even committed your authentic love to yourself ? You are the foundation from which all of your external and internal love comes from. What if your foundation was just full of fillers like self-doubt, worry, judgement, and negativity? Having them doest mean you can’t love someone else. It just means your priorities and the way you view your love is a bit skewed.

As I started thinking about this idea that swarmed over my whole entire body, I began to question the love I have given. Was it true?

Was I giving all I possibly could? Was the love I gave received in the way I intended? I started to panic… I started to self degrade, I started to unlove myself with doubt, judgement, and selfdegrading phrases that have haunted me my entire life. Phrases like “Worthless piece of crap,

good for nothing S.O.B…” Phrases that I heard from an early age. The phrases that used to come out of my Dad’s mouth. They were outrageous.

He, of course, didn’t mean them wholeheartedly.

He was using his frustrations with life to become a vocal “tool” to degrade and deflate women, small children, and himself. This was a learned behavior of his, passed on from one generation to the next like a disease. He had the ability to love fully, but he quickly shut it down with degrading words. Afraid of the tender part of him showing up open, he feared vulnerability.

Everything set aside… he did not know how to love himself. All those mean words outwardly spoken— that was exactly how he felt about himself. He had passed down the ugly words to me like an inheritance. I chose not to outwardly expose them onto to others (most of the time).

Instead, I pierced myself over and over again with the sharp point of those words until I “became” them in my own mind. To this day, I still struggle with compliments, support, trust, and self-worth.

I will most likely struggle my entire life. They are that ingrained. I now have the ability to work with them, share them with others in my writing, yoga, meditation, and workshops. As I sat with this thought for a bit before writing a commitment ceremony for the couple from Chicago, I realized that ceremony itself is a powerful tool. I have found it to be the most magical dance I have ever encountered. The power of positive words are the intentions spoken from the heart. They are blessings from within, and the support of those attending the ceremony is sacred.

The commitment to love ourselves may be one of the most important decisions we ever make. It can also be one of the most difficult decisions to stick to. The commitment can be a challenge, especially if we are in a place in which we are not accepting ourselves. Throwing in the self-judgment, which creates fear and those self-degrading words that become our self-talk. It may feel as if we don’t even deserve our own love as guilt and shame rear their ugly heads.

The idea and process of a “Self Commitment Ceremony” can help slow down the racing negative thoughts. They can bring to surface the reasons for having a ceremony in the first place.

Maybe start by asking a few questions, like: What

would feel good? What would bring healing?

What would energize or comfort you? And what is the purpose of depriving yourself of that?

The rewards of self-love are endless. Enhanced creativity, clearer decisions, and a stronger connection to the world around you— why wouldn’t you want that?

The ceremony could be something simple, like lighting a candle in the morning with your first cup of coffee. It could be just allowing yourself to take some full, beautiful breaths while admiring the sunrise. It could be a beautiful walk of gratitude around your block. It could be an evolving ceremony. Growing into full commitment and full love.

The more I think about this self-commitment ceremony, the more excited I get about life. The life I choose to live in for myself. What will this involve? I see a questionnaire written by myself and answered by myself. I would treat this questionnaire as if I was to give it to my betrothed.

I would focus on what I would want to be noticed about my love? I would write it and then answer it— honestly and raw, not overthinking it, going with the gut response. If I struggle with one, I’ll come back to it. If it doesn’t want to be answered, it isn’t the right question. When I’m finished, I’ll walk away. Leave it for a couple days. Come back to it when I’m called to intuitively. I guarantee the words written will not even look like words I have ever spoken. I’m going to marvel over that for a bit. Bask in the tenderness. This is my finest work. My best moment, my joy and healing coming to me, and I will see that I actually do indeed, love myself, warts and all. The time is now. It is always now.

WE SHAKE WITH JOY MARY OLIVER

We shake with joy, we shake with grief what a time they have, these two housed as they are in the same body.

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LIFE |

I Know It When I Feel It

I

BY NICOLE DUNN

often struggle with how to define what authenticity is. For me, it’s akin to trying to explain what sort of comedy stylings tickle my funny bone. In both cases, I just know it when I see it. Or more accurate: I know it when I feel it.

I’m reminded of an experience I had last spring, where upon reading a poetry collection by Mary Oliver, I suddenly felt inspired to call myself a poet. Up until then, I had been writing what many people considered poems for many years, but I always sloughed off the title of poet. I had a certain idea about what a poet was, and I didn’t feel I fit the bill. Reading Mary Oliver offered me a fresh perspective. I realized that a poet isn’t someone who writes a certain string of words in a particular way. Being a poet involves how we interact with the world around us and the lens through which we experience our inner and outer landscapes.

Authenticity is the same. It involves how we interact with and experience the world around us. No one can definitively dictate whether or not someone possesses the quality of authenticity.

I don’t think there is an exact one-size-fits-all recipe to follow that will yield in someone being authentic, so no word-based definition will truly suffice. Authenticity is a virtue that is based on skillfully, honestly, kindly, and open-heartedly interacting with the people, places, and situations we are in relationship with.

My favorite song lyric is one by my favorite musician (and poet) Ani Difranco: You can talk a great philosophy but if you can’t be kind to people every day it doesn’t mean that much to me.

It’s the little things you do it’s the little things you say it’s the love that you give along the way.

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This is perhaps the best way I know to sum up what authenticity means to me. It involves the quality of the thoughts we think, words we speak, and actions we engage in on a regular and ongoing basis. Someone who is authentic isn’t putting on airs or trying to show up in a certain way to look a certain part to certain people; it’s someone who walks their talk and takes responsibility for how they show up in the world.

One of the books I am currently reading, and would highly recommend, is Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead. In it, she teaches about vulnerability, which is an essential element of authenticity. Brown emphasizes that “the courage to be vulnerable is not about winning and losing, it’s about the courage to show up when you can’t predict or control the outcome.” There is no way to step into our full authentic self without embracing vulnerability.

Like many of us, I aspire and practice to be a person who possesses a strong quality of authenticity.

And it does take practice. It takes putting myself out there, even and especially when it’s hard and uncomfortable— even when I feel like I’m alone in my efforts (which happens on a regular basis).

It takes practice to keep my automatic defenses from building a wall around my heart. Sometimes it feels easier to shut down and present a checkedout version of myself to the world, where I’m just phoning it in and presenting a less-than-accurate depiction of myself to others. But as I’m interested in fostering connection and strengthening my capacity for mindful engagement, I continue to do my best to invest in being courageous enough to extend my authentic self to the world. To show up with my heart on my sleeve, ready to love, ready to bring my fullest self to the table.

Nicole is the director of the Open Way Mindfulness Center in Missoula, MT and helps lead retreats, organize events, and serves as the program director for Be Here Now, a weekly meditation group she founded in 2002. For more info: InMindfulMotion.com

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a letter from the future

BY SARAH HARDING

I wrote a letter to myself from the future as an exercise in self-care. I was tempted to write all about how thin I am in the future, how I’ve magically aged backward and become super athletic. But, alas, I tried to keep it realistic and attainable.

Writing it challenged me to think about what path our society could take— the path I hope we’ll choose.

Dear Sarah,

1 January 2035

It’s true: I’m writing to you from 15 years in the future. No, I’m not going to tell you what companies to start, what stock to buy, or what the winning lottery numbers are (think evens).

I’m writing because I remember what the world is like and what you are like in 2020. You’re still living in what we now refer to as The End of The Brown Age. I think you’ll be happy to hear that 2035 is in The Beauty Revolution. And it’s just like the name makes it sound— it’s beautiful. Our time is healthier, happier, and kinder. Humans have forged a new relationship with the miracle of creation. The Gross World Happiness ratings are still rising! If you look around, you’ll see evidence in 2020 that people are starting to do what ought to be done. #zerowasteliving, Tesla electric cars, and Friday Climate Strikes are all examples in your time that millions of people care very much. They understand that what happens to nature happens to us. They want to preserve nature, species, and ecosystems not only for survival, but because it is right and good. Humans need nature to feed our souls.

You’re still in the muck of it now. The political divide has never been wider, and apocalyptic climate reports cause people to feel hopeless, anxious, and afraid of losing the solace of wild places.

I want to acknowledge the deep grief you all are collectively feeling. The undercurrent of heartbreak, sorrow, and despair pulling down society right now. It’s no joke. You’ll have to face it. You’ll have to accept that the future is both uncertain and worth fighting for. It’s like the classic hero’s dilemma: I’m going to die. And I’m going to do my best.

As I mentioned, you are living through the end of the Brown Age. When humans are abundant, but resources and nature have become few. Materials are being wasted, resources ignored, and money rules.

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However, during the last 15 years, we recognized the effect nature had on our bodies and souls, and we chose to reflect that in our values. Greater well-being for the earth and her inhabitants informed every decision. We stopped listening to the media and the pundits and started listening to our hearts. It is the largest social movement in the history of the planet. During your time, there were maybe 1-2 million organizations working toward ecological or social justice.

An amazing number to be sure. But nowadays, we have 20 million businesses, clubs, non-profits, and groups working to make our societies more resilient, more beautiful, and more self-sufficient. People all around the world got together to save the things they love most about life. Despite our busy lives, the skiing groups, bird-watchers, stargazing enthusiasts, hunting groups, and gardening clubs transformed grief into action. The needle had moved on the dial of what is acceptable and what is not. It became horrific and unjust to pollute, to waste, to allow more carbon to enter our fragile atmosphere. We expected our representatives and leaders to follow suit.

Once we realized the effects of our lifestyle, once our eyes opened, humans began to get creative. First, we changed in small, easy ways— reducing food waste, recycling more, and eating closer to home. Then as green choices became more accessible and abundant, our changes became larger and more meaningful. We could start using the new public transportation, we created zero-waste communities, we redesigned products (you are going to love the new food packaging!), and we became super efficient with our resources. It became easier to live in line with our values.

Preserving what is beautiful and good is a matter of principle.

We gave up nothing but heartbreak and waste. Nobody misses those. What we gained is priceless: fulfilling lives, connected communities, vegetables and walking, zippy electric cars, efficient public transportation, better jobs, clean air, pure water, wildlife, free-market energy, comfortable buildings, and beautiful green surroundings.

Today, while I walked to the bus, I was inspired to write to you by the perfect, glittering snowy morning. The delight and joy our world gives to us is irreplaceable. Life without the heartbreak of pollution is just so beautiful.

So, get out there and do what ought to be done.

Yours in berries, sweet rain, and new green grass, Sarah P.S. Do not, I repeat, do not try to wear the super low-waisted jeans that will come back into style about 2025. Just trying to save you from an embarrassing incident.

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the art of disconnecting reconnecting

&

ARTICLE & IMAGES BY JESSLYN MARIE

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ARTICLE & IMAGES BY JESSLYN MARIE

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O

ne of the most frequently asked questions I get about solo backpacking is how to keep from getting bored. It comes up a lot in online forums, and the most common answers I see from others are podcasts, audiobooks, e-books, phone games, etc. My own answer is simple: be bored. This is not the most popular antidote to hear when you’re wanting to keep your mind occupied while solo camping, but it has the potential to be one of the most beneficial.

In our daily, civilized lives, we’re used to being bombarded by all sorts of media, competing for our attention: commercials, TV shows, online ads, billboards, street-side signs, promotions, social media, emails. We’ve become so used to this constant barrage of information with little regard towards how it affects us. Take a moment and think about the last week in your life. How many of us picked up our phone and started to open something without thinking about it, lost track of time while perusing various apps, or had a twinge of panic when we couldn’t immediately identify where our mobile device was? Don’t feel bad, this is exactly what they are designed to do: to leave us wanting more and to continue to depend upon them. We’ve become accustomed to distraction and, while we may feel like we are more connected to others, we’ve become quite disconnected from ourselves.

There are many reasons why each of us seek the sanctity of the wilderness. An underlying reason I’ve found is that we all need some kind of reset, disconnecting from the chaos and rigors of everyday life and reconnecting with the natural world for a sense of peace and calm. It’s a reminder that life isn’t always about rushing around and that we’re allowed to take several steps back and just be, even if only for a little while. Take another moment now and think about the last time you sat down somewhere, alone, without any external distractions. No phone, no book, not even another person to have a conversation with— just you and your thoughts. It can be a scary thing for a lot of people!

The first time I did a solo trip, I was a bit worried about this. It was winter, so the sun would go down a lot earlier and that meant I would be wide awake in my tent for hours after it was dark. What the heck would I do with all that time? Without

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something to occupy our minds, we start to feel uncomfortable and we, as human beings, do not like to be uncomfortable and so we try to “fix” it.

I was uncomfortable in a plethora of ways and simply had to make do with what I had. Physical discomfort was more or less easily soothed with layers, hand warmers, and my sleeping bag, but the mental discomfort was much more difficult to deal with. I found myself wanting to play a video game or wishing that I had someone else to share in the misery of this whole experience— a quick fix to my loneliness in that moment. “Solo backpacking in the winter… honestly, Jess. What a dumb idea.”

It took some time, but I started to accept my selfinflicted predicament and genuinely appreciate it for what it was. The stillness of everything was other-worldly. No bugs, no critters, no moving water, no precipitation, no wind, no nothing.

It was the most beautifully eerie and complete silence I had ever heard (or not heard?), and I was mesmerized by it. Likewise, this was my first time solo backpacking and my first time winter backpacking (a true double whammy), in a place that is absolutely bustling with life and traffic in the summer months, and I had it utterly to myself. The next morning was one of the most magical moments, with the pristine, snowy landscape sparkling like diamonds in the sleepy pink and blue hues of dawn. I was the only one to experience it, precisely in that moment, never to be experienced in that exact way again by anyone.

Displeasure and unease had transformed literally overnight into pure gratitude and contentment.

Imagine what a different experience that would have been had I allowed myself to filter it through a screen.

I very intentionally leave needless distractions at home and bring only something that will enhance my experience of being mindfully present, such as a pocket journal or a miniature art set. Something that, technically speaking, keeps me from getting “bored” in the literal sense of the word but helps me to further focus on my immediate surroundings and why I am there in the first place. Sometimes, though, I don’t bring even that. Much like when we were children, and our parents would tell us to “go outside,” we let our imaginations take over and we found something out of nothing.

The one thing I look forward to most is sitting by a lake for a couple of hours and existing in that moment. The feel of the sun, wind, or rain on my bare face, the smell of the alpine wildflowers and pine trees, the sound of rushing water or buzzing bees. I’ll let my feet take me off-trail to crest a ridge or circle around a lake, gaining a sense of kinship with the new-to-me landscape, taking care to notice easily overlooked details and drinking in the views. For these reasons, and so many more, solo backpacking has become my favorite thing in the world.

Self-reflection for a couple of days has a funny way of changing your perspective, both in the moment as well as when you return to the humdrum of everyday life, and that is exactly why I challenge others to simply be bored. Sit with your fears and discomfort. Be wholly present. Let go and connect— most especially with yourself. I’ll give no illusions that it is easy, and it sometimes still isn’t for me, but many things worth doing are not.

It’s the best reset button I’ve found to date, and my genuine hope is that others can find success with this approach, too. Happy adventures— and self-discovery— my friends! mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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| ACTIVE & OUTDOOR

s d l r o W o w T 's r e b m A MASON WITH SCOTTY AT A CLINIC PUT ON BY GREG ELIEL AT A RUBY VALLEY RANCH, AUGUST 2019. PHOTO BY KRIS SELL.

ARTICLE BY KRIS SELL

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hen Amber Rose Mason is living at a Montana ‘cow camp’ with 800 bovines and her boyfriend of 12 years, Andy Peterson, she sometimes sets up a tripod and camera and shoots audition tapes for acting jobs. When the workload allows, she drives five miles up a hill to where she can see a cell tower in Idaho, just across the Montana border. She then goes online to apply for jobs off the ranch.

Mason lives two very different lives, but they sometimes overlap with her horsemanship skills being used in both worlds. Most of the time, Mason is a Ruby Valley ranch hand and professional horse trainer. Sometimes, Mason is an actress or horse wrangler. Her credits include multiple plays with the Montana Repertory Theatre, movies, and television shows. Mason was the female lead in a 2019 feature film, Two Eyes. Mason believes the film has a good chance of achieving critical acclaim when it is released in 2020 as it addresses transgender people in a historical context— she hopes it will do for transgender people what Brokeback Mountain did for gay men. Mason plays the wife of a man who meets a transgender man who is part of the Crow tribe. The transgender man is called “Two-Eyes” by tribal members because he looks at the world with one eye as a woman and one eye as a man.

Mason was originally involved with Two Eyes as a horse wrangler, then the director offered her a small role. When a leading actress had to leave the production, Mason was offered the lead female role if she could learn her lines in twelve

hours. Mason stepped up to the challenge in two ways: she took the role and continued her wrangler duties, sometimes cleaning up manure and saddling horses in her full costume of skirts, petticoats, and white boots. Mason says she had to keep reminding herself to avoid using her boot to push the last of the horse manure onto the fork.

By the end of October 2019, Mason was headed to Tennessee to wrangle livestock for a reality television show that combines a cattle drive with cooking challenges. In June 2020, Mason’s schedule includes a feature film being shot in Arizona, where she plays the female lead. The movie is part of Director Travis Mills’ plan to shoot 12 Westerns in 12 months. Mason’s character is a woman who is abducted in the 1890s and trafficked as a prostitute in Heart Of The Gun. She eventually gains her freedom and returns to her husband, where the couple faces the challenge of dealing with what happened to Mason’s character. Mason says it will be hard work to shoot the huge script in just thirty days, but she is used to hard work, having worked cows from horseback in 20 degrees below zero weather.

Mason has plenty to do back home between acting and wrangling jobs. She starts about thirty-five young horses a year as part of her colt-starting business, which Mason has named “In The Beginning.” Mason finds joy being the first person to ride a young horse, taking the animal from a scared youngster to a confident, cooperative partner that can be ridden without a bridle. mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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PHOTO BY DAMON J TAYLOR PHOTOGRAPHY

Mason puts seven to ten rides on each horse in an arena and then uses the horses on the ranch to expose the youngsters to dogs, creeks, cows, and ranch machinery. Mason’s ranch-based training is in high demand— she’s already booked a year out.

In October of 2019, Mason showed off her horse training skills at the Northwest International Livestock Exposition (NILE) in Billings, where her two-year-old stud horse, Scotty, took second place in the Futurity. The twenty entrants in the two-year-old horse division compared skills on a trail course and reining pattern. Mason credits her horse’s ranch experience with giving him the composure to show well at NILE.

PHOTO BY DAMON J TAYLOR PHOTOGRAPHY

every day and sometimes camping with the cows and having no bathroom or running water. Mason would not, will not, have it any other way.

Mason knows she would have more work as an actor if she were willing to live in Los Angeles instead of Montana, but she is not considering relocating. Mason says she won’t give up her quality of life. Most Hollywood actors would likely not appreciate working outside almost PHOTO BY ANDY PETERSON, 2017.

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15

HEALTH & WELLNESS |

IN

Living with Mental Illness in Montana

BY KELSEY WEYERBACHER

I grew up on a farm in Eastern Montana, where the Yellowstone river hits the Badlands. I was raised in a loving family with our share of problems (don’t we all), but I was proud of our hard-working, All-American family. I was an exemplary student, an entrepreneur at a young age, and an avid volunteer. I say these things not because they are overly-important in my identity, but because they are an important frame of reference. Because while I was the Student Body President, active in 4-H, a lector at church, and overall what many would assume an active youth in our small town of Miles City, Montana, I was also struggling desperately with depression and anxiety. What the people in my hometown saw was what I wanted them to see: my hard work and my drive to attend a good college. What they didn’t see was my drive home to our farm every school night, when I considered driving my car off a cliff into a creek bottom time and time again.

We have an unhealthy idea of mental health in our country, but even more specifically in our state. Many read my story and think: We all have bad days, but you just toughen up and get on with it. If I had a loving family as a support system and 70

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was good at school, I must be dramatizing the anguish I felt. But, that’s the thing about mental illness. We don’t get to pick and choose who gets it. We don’t get to just extinguish its symptoms because others see our lives as something above mental illness. We are stuck with its realities, stuck with its constant nagging at our thoughts, and continually dumbfounded when we are thrown into its pits repeatedly.

1 in 5 Americans lives with a mental illness at some point in their life (CDC, 2019). The sad reality is that many go undiagnosed and untreated their entire lives, especially in a state like Montana where the resources are scarce and the understanding of mental health is poor. We live in a great state full of tough, badass people, but with that history of toughness comes an unhealthy mindset of what we call “Cowboy Culture.” You know the sayings: Get back on the horse. Toughen up. Cowboys/Cowgirls don’t cry.

Rub some dirt on it. And while I understand the mindset and grew up in its midst for the majority of my life, I tell my story for one simple reason: You don’t have to be tough. Sometimes the horse

is too big and too scary to jump back on. You can cry (even the toughest cowboys I know do). Dirt doesn’t fix depression, no matter how hard you rub it on your wounds. It’s okay to not be okay.

The realities of ignoring mental health and not providing those who live with it the resources they need are prevalent in the fact that Montana boasts the highest suicide rates per capita in the country.

That’s right: Of the 50 states, Montana is #1 for deaths by suicide. We have been in the top 3 for more than a decade. In fact, the top 3 states are consistently those in the American West. Alaska and Wyoming follow closely behind Montana, a state with a population just over a million whose rates are nearly double the national average.

I lost 8 people to suicide in high school. I myself was struggling with mental health, but didn’t yet have a name for it. I knew I felt worthless. I knew I felt small. But, I didn’t understand why and didn’t have the language to describe it. Until I went to college, I thought everyone felt like I did. I didn’t understand that I didn’t have to live like this. All of these issues were compounded when I was then raped during my junior year

of high school. But, the important thing to note here is that my symptoms existed before I was raped. They were simply worsened by my PTSD; a new mental illness I didn’t yet understand the complexity of.

I hated high school following my rape. I felt out of place and alienated, though no one knew what had happened. I wanted to drop out and get my GED, despite my high grades and involvement in extracurricular activities. I didn’t tell anyone about my rape for four years, which left me to continue to suffer in silence. I did what many do: I ran from the physical place I lived in, thinking I could leave my psychological troubles there too.

I went to college at the University of Portland, where I slept for nearly 20 hours a day on the weekends and then stayed up for up three days in a row during the school week. I struggled to make friends and felt out of place at a private school when my K-8 elementary school had consisted of 65 agricultural kids. So, I moved to Salzburg, Austria on a study abroad scholarship with the University of Portland only to have my mental health follow me there. At the age of 20, in the worst mental state I had ever been in up to that mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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point, I transferred to Montana State University and began talk therapy in conjunction with seeing a doctor who diagnosed my mental illnesses.

For the next few years, I began to thrive on medications. I became open about my mental health, only to be met with a large community of others living with similar realities. My vulnerability was met with kindness and understanding for the first time in my life, because I had the language to discuss what was happening in my brain. I graduated from MSU in May of 2016 with two degrees and several awards. I felt at home in my skin, proud to be functioning highly on my antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications.

But, that soon changed when I experienced a mental breakdown in October of that same year.

We have an inaccurate idea of what a breakdown consists of based on popular culture. You’re probably thinking of a Hollywood breakdown— where I lost all sense of reality and began acting out-of-character. You’re probably imagining whaling and a lack of moral fortitude. In reality, I stayed in bed for days on end, unable to eat, unable to find interest in getting up. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do those things— it’s that I physically couldn’t. My limbs each weighed thousands of pounds, and my thoughts told me I wasn’t enough, that no one would care if I ever got out of bed, and that the world would be better 72

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off if I never left my room again. A breakdown is defined by a period of mental distress that disallows you from functioning in your daily life.

I certainly was not functioning.

I existed in this space for three months. In January of 2017, I visited a doctor who diagnosed me with Bipolar II disorder. Characterized by depressive states (as I had been in for the previous three months) and hypomanic periods, Bipolar II typically manifests in a person’s early twenties.

Here I was a month before my 24th birthday now living with four mental illnesses. I was on new medications, becoming toxic from one, and continually adjusting dosages for months after. I returned to Montana State University in the fall of 2017, pursuing an English graduate degree focusing on disability studies in mental health with my Service-Dog-In-Training, Finley.

In the two years that followed in my Masters Program, I studied the geographic region I was raised in and the staggeringly high suicide rates we live amongst in Montana. On a public query I posted on Facebook in January of 2019, I asked the group’s 20,000 members from Miles City and surrounding Southeastern Montana areas about the mental health resources available in the area. Parents of children publicly posted about the necessary trips back and forth to Billings—a

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nearly 300-mile round trip—to visit the only psychiatrist available in the region. Traveling Nurse Practitioners and therapists visit the towns only a few days a week or month, with limited space available and heavy expenses. TeleMedication resources are available by some clinics, but individuals commented on the waiting lists. With the immediacy inherent to mental health issues, this kind of wait could mean life and death to an individual suffering from mental illness. One parent mentioned having to wait 9 months to be “seen” via TeleMed by the psychiatry-trained general physician from Glendive, instead having to drive to Billings several times a month with their child to see a psychiatrist. No costs were covered by insurance.

In September 2018, Billings Clinic partnered with the University of Washington to create Montana’s first Psychiatry Residency program. A $3 million grant from the Helmsley Charitable Trust will support the four-year residency whose goal is to “experience three hand-picked residents with a strong desire to serve in rural areas,” following their first two years of residency in Seattle (Billings Clinic). Billings Clinic Psychiatric Services includes Montana’s largest outpatient psychiatric practice. With 44 beds to serve adults and children, the Billings Clinic is tiny in comparison to the need for psychiatric services. The problem inherent with any form of healthcare provided to individuals with mental health is in the affordability and accessibility of such programs. Few insurances cover any such programs, as many parents in Southeastern Montana told me, erasing the availability for accessing these resources. With average costs of inpatient programs ranging from $10,000-60,000

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per month without medication or counseling costs (Stensland), the bills are astronomical to families such as those in Custer County, whose median income in 2017 was $53,050 (U.S. Census Bureau). The true needs of the population of Southeastern Montana are ignored and forgotten by the programs targeting high suicide rates and intensive mental health needs. Our suicide rates remain the highest in the country.

I am now 26-years-old. I graduated from MSU with my Masters in English in May of this year.

Shortly after, I became engaged to an incredible man who supports me and loves me, even on my roughest days. I became the mother to his young son, who teaches me patience and love on a daily basis (along with the humor of the word “bellybutton.”) But, these positive life events don’t mean that my mental illnesses go away. They simply mean that it is more important than ever for me to manage my medications, reach out to my support community, utilize my resources, and be honest with others about my mental health.

I find no value in keeping quiet about mental health. What do we gain when we continue to suffer in silence? We need resources. We need allies. We need transparency. I don’t have the solution for our high suicide rates. I don’t know the answers to our lack of mental health resources across the state. But, I do know the value of using our voices to say: You are not alone.

Kelsey Weyerbacher is a new mom living in Belgrade, Montana, with her fiancé, son, three-legged Golden Retriever, and feisty French Bulldog. She lives with four mental illnesses and advocates for mental health through her website: www.kelseyweyerbacher.com

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HEALING HANDS

A Southeastern Montana Woman’s Journey to Facial Reflexology

BY KELSEY WEYERBACHER

Sharlene Wallace of Miles City, Montana, has been a certified facial reflexologist for over five years. Facial reflexology is a holistic treatment that stimulates the body’s natural healing process through non-invasive stimulation of facial pressure points. Rooted in her practice, Wallace opened Healing Hands Reflexology in 2012 in conjunction with her nail salon, Toetally Nails.

Now a mother to two strong daughters, Wallace first moved to Montana as a freshman in high school. After graduating from Whitefish High School, she spread her wings by traveling the country, installing telephone equipment for two years. After returning to Whitefish, she became pregnant with her first daughter in the midst of an unhealthy relationship. Moving to New Mexico and then Arizona with a newborn baby, she returned to Montana in 2000 as a single mother settling in Miles City, where her family convened around her grandfather’s failing health.

Wallace reminisced, saying, “I learned so much about my own strength in those years.”

In the following years, Wallace was busy working various jobs and married her husband, Brian, before having her youngest daughter in 2005.

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daughter as well: “I’ve actually known Brian all my life. Our dads were in the Guards together.

Marvin, my father-in-law, was even the Best Man at my parents’ wedding! Now, that is karma.”

With Brian’s support and her two daughters watching her pursue her passions, Wallace went to school to become a nail technician.

It was her education at the Pela Beauty Academy in Whitefish that sparked her interest in reflexology after learning about hand and foot reflexology associated with manicures and pedicures. “When I was in school, we learned the basics of foot reflexology. I had been doing nails a year or two, and wanted to know what else there was to this reflexology thing.” Wallace was seeing profound responses in her pedicure clients and wanted to know more, which led her to a woman teaching facial reflexology in Wisconsin, and another in North Carolina, where she finished her training. “I’ve done online training following my certification. Now I’m trained in diabetes, lymphatic treatment, hormone imbalance, weight loss, and more.” Despite her ample training, Wallace isn’t satisfied yet: “Even 5-6 years later, I’m still a novice. I’m still learning. There is so much to learn! The body and its healing abilities are so complex. I think I’ll be learning facial reflexology for the rest of my life.”

The most common misconception people have about reflexology is that it’s a massage, but Wallace stresses that “massage requires the manipulation of muscles and tendons. Reflexology uses pressure points and meridians to move energy that is already in the body.” I first visited Healing Hand Reflexology over four years ago, seeking relief from TMJ (chronic jaw tightness) and horrible migraines. My understanding of reflexology was false: I assumed it was simply a facial massage, as many do. But, after leaving an hour session with Sharlene, I found over the next few days that not only was my TMJ loosened and migraines alleviated, but that my energy was higher, my stomach more regular, and my mood improved.

“With all of the everyday stresses that happen, we have evolved into a people that do not know how to take care of ourselves. We rely so much on the rush of adrenaline and the rush of going and going that we don’t stop and listen to what our bodies need.” Wallace is aware of her own guiltiness in disregarding her body’s needs. Grounding herself in her reflexology has taught her to be more in tune with her own body, but she also stresses: “We have to treat not only the physical body, but also the emotional and spiritual body. And reflexology does that. It helps you find the tools to cope with the everyday stresses.”

In her mothering, her volunteer work as a Troop

Leader and Service Unit Manager for Girl Scouts, involvement with the Children’s Christmas Store through the Miles City Women’s Club, participation with the Miles City Chamber of Commerce’s Downtown Merchants, her two businesses, crocheting in her self care-time, and her daily life, Wallace is a powerhouse of energy.

But, her busy schedule doesn’t stop her from holding meaningful conversations with everyone she interacts with. She is a role model to many, and a mother to many more than just her two biological daughters. “I love my girls. All of them!

I am so proud of everything they do. When I think about that, it helps me keep moving with my own goals too. 2020 will be a big year for me.

I can feel it.”

Wallace affirms her calling to reflexology through her continued passion to learn and grow as a reflexologist: “I love helping people. I love helping them to work on themselves and teaching them how to perform self-care and self-love— to help the body heal itself. I believe every body is capable of healing itself. I just give it the tools it needs to start.”

Healing Hands Reflexology and Toetally Nails are located at 8 N. 9th Street in Miles City, Montana. Both businesses are open Mon-Fri from 9am-6pm or by appointment. You can find both businesses on Facebook, or contact Sharlene at: toetallynails@gmail.com

HEALTH & WELLNESS |

practicing authenticity

how to honor yourself and your life’s mission MINDY COCHRAN | LEVITATION NATION

“fitness is fun” motto. It’s what I believe in my heart’s heart, and I want others to know it. To begin spreading this message, I started a cardio dance class for adults revolving around hiphop, pop, and electronic beats in 2011. It was so much fun— my students and I lived for our dance days. I took another step toward living my life’s purpose in 2015 when I opened Kalispell’s Levitation Nation Aerial Studio, which offered fun, cirque-style fitness classes.

As I worked to match the new studio’s identity to my principles and spread the “fitness is fun” message, I knew I was creating brand authenticity for the business. But more importantly, opening the studio had created an opportunity for me to live authentically, which in turn made me feel both centered and grounded.

Living authentically is getting clear about your life’s purpose and true values, and then acting congruently with those beliefs. Needless to say, if you have not yet discovered what you hold dear in life, some soul-searching may be the first order of business before you can begin living authentically.

A good place to start looking for your sense of purpose in the world is to consider what makes you unique, or why your friends or family enjoy spending time with you.

Once you’ve worked out your values and beliefs, the second step to living authentically is acting congruently with those beliefs. I think that one of the main reasons people live inauthentically is because of fear: fear of disapproval, fear of being judged, fear of failure. Stopping fear in its tracks

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and consistently showing up in life as yourself opens the door for magic to happen.

There are different ways to practice authenticity.

In addition to crafting brand authenticity for businesses or groups you’re involved with, we each have the opportunity to make sure the relationships we’re fostering are authentic. It can be easy to zone out while scrolling through Facebook instead of taking the time to connect in real life with those around you— don’t let that happen!

And speaking of social media, in this day and age, we have a huge responsibility to practice speaking (and writing) authentically every single day. Like many, I use social media to share my accomplishments, pictures from my vacations, selfies that make me feel beautiful, and other gratifying parts of my life. But I feel that it’s important to avoid giving an illusion of some picture-perfect life, so I try to post about the slumps when the roller coaster of life takes me low, too. In 2017, when I went through multiple surgeries and some subsequent hard recoveries, I experienced deep waves of depression. Thanks to Facebook, many people in our large valley knew about it.

I chose my words very carefully that year. I knew about neuroplasticity, where the pathways in the brain are shaped and reshaped by repeated thoughts and emotions. Basically, thinking happy thoughts makes it easier to think more happy thoughts, while thinking negative thoughts makes it easier to think more negative thoughts.

I wanted to leverage neuroplasticity to help pull me out of my depression. But, I didn’t fully buy

AERIALIST TERRI SHIVELY | PHOTOGRAPH BY EMILY TORCH

IT’S MY LIFE’S PURPOSE to spread the

into the “fake it until you make it” theory because I felt “faking it” was living inauthentically and doing a disservice to what I was going through.

So, when people asked how I was doing, instead of saying I was having such a hard time, I would say things like, “I am better than last month.”

This allowed me to speak my truth while creating new neural pathways that helped me believe I was healing and eventually helped me to create a happier frame of mind.

live in alignment with your true values. I am here to remind you that you honor yourself and your life’s mission by getting proper rest, nutrition, and exercise. It may surprise you that, as a fitness coach, I advocate for prioritizing sleep above all things, but it’s because I know the importance of sleep to all of our body’s systems. And besides, it’s incredibly difficult to have quality movement or stick to a nutrition plan, let alone pursue your life’s mission, when you are exhausted. Since the New Year is upon us, people are setting resolutions, this is a timely conversation. If you’ve historically struggled to make time for things like rest and exercise, consider the effects of self-care (or lack thereof ) on your authenticity and your life’s mission. And besides, self-care doesn’t have to be a chore. In fact, fitness can be fun (in case you haven’t heard).

consistently showing up in life as yourself opens the door for magic to happen

Which brings me to practicing authentic happiness. Having struggled with depression for parts of my life, I have contemplated and studied happiness. A concept introduced to me from Martha Beck, author of Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, really resonated with me. Her belief is that true happiness isn’t about living a large life with manic highs, like when your team wins game seven of the World Series, or you get to travel to another country. Sure, we love those kinds of moments, but it isn’t realistic to expect them all the time. You can find authentic happiness in smaller moments, like appreciating a beautiful sunset, playing with your kids, or picking berries in the mountains with your friends. She writes, “true happiness is the sustainable delight in the beautiful moments of ordinary life.”

There are many ways to practice authenticity and

Mindy is the founder of Kalispell’s Levitation Nation Aerial Studio, where the catchphrase “fitness is fun” is embodied alongside a culture of movement & women empowerment. Mindy believes that “The Real Levitation Experience” lies within elevating your health & wellness. Mindy loves to share the expertise she has acquired through her certifications as a personal trainer and life coach. For more about Mindy or Levitation Nation, please visit levitationnation.org.

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HEALTH & WELLNESS |

creating memories through blankets Gayle Skees and Kara Galloway create fidget blankets for the residents of Brendan House

BY MARY BOCKSTRUCK

Gayle Skees and Kara Galloway, employees at Kalispell Regional Healthcare’s Brendan House, have found a way to help residents with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia who sometimes experience feelings of anxiousness and agitation. They noticed that offering patients something to fidget with when they seemed to be upset, afraid, or agitated kept them entertained and busy. This simple approach often distracted residents from pulling at their clothing or bedding, rubbing their arms, wringing their hands, or twisting their fingers.

Gayle and Kara found a useful solution and along with Kara’s sister, Karen Reed, have been creating fidget blankets and aprons for the residents and patients at Brendan House since last summer.

The sensory stimulation of the fidget blankets has proven to help calm nerves, reduce anxiety, and provide comfort for many.

“We were striving to make our facility alarm-free and were searching for ways to keep residents engaged, whether they were in their rooms or in the common areas,” says Gayle. “Our other focus was preventing an increase in falls. We thought about weighted blankets and I was googling some other options when I came across fidget blankets.”

“A fidget blanket is a small lap quilt (or apron) that is made up of small squares, each containing some kind of ‘busy-hands’ activity,” says Kara.

“Each section is a different color and texture, and each has embellishments such as pockets, zippers, tassels, and lace, all of which enable patients to focus their hands and minds through sensory stimulation. When we notice signs of boredom 82

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or agitation, we offer a fidget blanket and it really seems to help calm our residents.”

Gayle and Kara, who are both avid seamstresses and quilters, decided to try making some fidget blankets to see if they really helped. They did!

Members of the nursing staff set up a box in the break room and asked for donations and supplies with hopes someone would take on the challenge, and they were thrilled with the response and thoughtful creativity. Some of the blankets the ladies have created are made with pieces of wornout staff uniforms, colorful clothing, and aprons.

The sensory items must be firmly attached to keep busy hands safe in a soothing way, and the blankets need to be washable, so each one is made with these things in mind. Many of the blankets have a theme: one is made from an old Wendy’s apron and has a handyman motif, another is themed for a fisherman.

“I have made a few out of quilted pillow shams,” says Gayle. “They’re exactly the right size, and it’s just a matter of affixing all of the sensory items to them.” Many of the blankets contain things one wouldn’t even think of, such as a discarded shoulder pad from a ladies sweater, a tiny stuffed teddy bear that slips into a pocket, a string of beads that can be slid back and forth, a coiled shoestring, a zipper, a piece of looped rug, a key ring, a section of soft measuring tape, and many other clever things.

Gayle has been at Kalispell Regional Medical Center for 25 years and currently serves as a social work director at Brendan House. She loves

quilting and sewing, and the fidget blankets have given a new purpose to her hobbies. “I have gotten to the point that I can complete one in an afternoon, depending on the amount of detail I add,” she says.

Kara has been a certified nursing assistant at Brendan House for three years, and along with her sewing hobbies, she loves to garden.

“What we didn’t expect was that the fidget blankets also help patients access memories and even communicate with their peers and Brendan House staff,” says Kara. “One resident, who used to be a seamstress, became animated when she was offered a fidget blanket that has bits of lace, quilting, buttons, zippers, and other sewing related bits. She couldn’t speak, but she delightedly showed others that she knew what these things were! It was clear the blanket was bringing back memories for her.” mon tan awoman .com | jan uar y/feb r uar y 2 02 0

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