T-21
A ZINE MADE FOR THE OCCASION OF MY 21ST BIRTHDAY INSPIRED BY K. CHERRY’S BIRTHDAY ZINE, THOUGH MINE SADLY DOES NOT COME WITH A MIX CD
"Last year I abstained this year I devour without guilt which is also an art" Margaret Atwood
I SPIT BLOOD IN THE MORNING CAUSE MY MOUTH IS IN MOURNING FOR YOU
I THINK I AM BETTER AT TALKING WHEN THERE IS NO ONE THERE TO LISTEN
I DON’T NEED SOMEONE’S HAND IN MY HAND TO LET ME KNOW THAT I AM ENOUGH
All of this time I've planned / I'd be patient, and / You would love me again / You'd come to respect my mind / and at last you'd find / You could love me again / And I have turned my whole world upside down / trying not to let you go... / Watching you walk away / is like a fatal blow / WHOA! / Is that my name up on that list? / Does someone know that I exist? / Is this a mistake? / Am I even awake? / Pinch me now to make sure... / OW! / Is my name in black and white? / Maybe I'm doing something right / WOW! I feel so much better than before. / WARNER! / Sorry I've been a pest / But I guess my best / Was not working with you / But looks like I've found a cure / And I so look forward to working with you / What? Working with who? / Hey remember when we spent spring break / In the hot tub every night / We said nothing else / Could ever feel so right / Well this might! / Seeing my name up on that list / That beats the first time that we kissed / You thought I was dumb, but I think that somebody's judgment was poor / Seeing my name in black and white / It's like making love with you all night / NO WAIT! / It feels so much better / hello much better / its oh, oh, oh, oh, oh / much better / 'cause I am so much better than before / Maybe she's what you prefer / But hey last year I was her / Maybe you will change your mind / But you might look up to find / I've gone on to better things / Better jobs or bigger rings / I don't have the time to cry / I'm too busy loving my name up on that list / kind of a cool ironic twist / who else can I tell? / Oh Wait where's my cell? / Mom will fall on the floor / HEY MOM! / Look at my name in black and white / your daughter's doing something right / I feel so much better / I'll be there on monday nine o'clock / and we will see who walks the walk / NO NO I CAN'T WAIT! / I will be there at eight / When they unlock the door / OH OH / I'll even dress in black and white / See I have not begun to fight / And you'll go OH much better / HELLO much better / and soon all y'all know much better / I am so much better / I am so much better / I am so much better / than before! / All of this time I've planned / I'd be patient, and / You would love me again / You'd come to respect my mind / and at last you'd find / You could love me again / And I have turned my whole world upside down / trying not to let you go... / Watching you walk away / is like a fatal blow / WHOA! / Is that my name up on that list? / Does someone know that I exist? / Is this a mistake? / Am I even awake? / Pinch me now to make sure... / OW! / Is my name in black and white? / Maybe I'm doing something right / WOW! I feel so much better than before. / WARNER! / Sorry I've been a pest / But I guess my best / Was not working with you / But looks like I've found a cure / And I so look forward to working with you / What? Working with who? / Hey remember when we spent spring break / In the hot tub every night / We said nothing else / Could ever feel so right / Well this might! / Seeing my name up on that list / That beats the first time that we kissed / You thought I was dumb, but I think that somebody's judgment was poor / Seeing my name in black and white / It's like making love with you all night / NO WAIT! / It feels so much better / hello much better / its oh, oh, oh, oh, oh / much better / 'cause I am so much better than before / Maybe she's what you prefer / But hey last year I was her / Maybe you will change your mind / But you might look up to find / I've gone on to better things / Better jobs or bigger rings / I don't have the time to cry / I'm too busy loving my name up on that list / kind of a cool ironic twist / who else can I tell? / Oh Wait where's my cell? / Mom will fall on the floor / HEY MOM! / Look at my name in black and white / your daughter's doing something right / I feel so much better / I'll be there on monday nine o'clock / and we will see who walks the walk / NO NO I CAN'T WAIT! / I will be there at eight / When they unlock the door / OH OH / I'll even dress in black and white / See I have not begun to fight / And you'll go OH much better / HELLO much better / and soon all y'all know much better / I am so much better / I am so much better / I am so much better / than before! / All of this time I've planned / I'd be patient, and / You would love me again / You'd come to respect my mind / and at last you'd find / You could love me again / And I have turned my whole world upside down / trying not to let you go... / Watching you walk away / is like a fatal blow / WHOA! / Is that my name up on that list? / Does someone know that I exist? / Is this a mistake? / Am I even awake? / Pinch me now to make sure... / OW! / Is my name in black and white? / Maybe I'm doing something right / WOW! I feel so much better than before. / WARNER! / Sorry I've been a pest / But I guess my best / Was not working with you / But looks like I've found a cure / And I so look forward to working with you / What? Working with who? / Hey remember when we spent spring break / In the hot tub every night / We said nothing else / Could ever feel so right / Well this might! / Seeing my name up on that list / That beats the first time that we kissed / You thought I was dumb, but I think that somebody's judgment was poor / Seeing my name in black and white / It's like making love with you all night / NO WAIT! / It feels so much better / hello much better / its oh, oh, oh, oh, oh / much better / 'cause I am so much better than before / Maybe she's what you prefer / But hey last year I was her / Maybe you will change your mind / But you might look up to find / I've gone on to better things / Better jobs or bigger rings / I don't have the time to cry / I'm too busy loving my name up on that list / kind of a cool ironic twist / who else can I tell? / Oh Wait where's my cell? / Mom will fall on the floor / HEY MOM! / Look at my name in black and white / your daughter's doing something right / I feel so much better / I'll be there on monday nine o'clock / and we will see who walks the walk / NO NO I CAN'T WAIT! / I will be there at eight / When they unlock the door / OH OH / I'll even dress in black and white / See I have not begun to fight / And you'll go OH much better / HELLO much better / and soon all y'all know much better / I am so much better / I am so much better / I am so much better / than before! / All of this time I've planned / I'd be patient, and / You would love me again / You'd come to respect my mind / and at last you'd find / You could love me again / And I have turned my whole world upside down / trying not to let you go... / Watching you walk away / is like a fatal blow / WHOA! / Is that my name up on that list? / Does someone know that I exist? / Is this a mistake? / Am I even awake? / Pinch me now to make sure... / OW! / Is my name in black and white? / Maybe I'm doing something right / WOW! I feel so much better than before. / WARNER! / Sorry I've been a pest / But I guess my best / Was not working with you / But looks like I've found a cure / And I so look forward to working with you / What? Working with who? / Hey remember when we spent spring break / In the hot tub every night / We said nothing else / Could ever feel so right / Well this might! / Seeing my name up on that list / That beats the first time that we kissed / You thought I was dumb, but I think that somebody's judgment was poor / Seeing my name in black and white / It's like making love with you all night / NO WAIT! / It feels so much better / hello much better / its oh, oh, oh, oh, oh / much better / 'cause I am so much better than before / Maybe she's what you prefer / But hey last year I was her / Maybe you will change your mind / But you might look up to find / I've gone on to better things / Better jobs or bigger rings / I don't have the time to cry / I'm too busy loving my name up on that list / kind of a cool ironic twist / who else can I tell? / Oh Wait where's my cell? / Mom will fall on the floor / HEY MOM! / Look at my name in black and white / your daughter's doing something right / I feel so much better / I'll be there on monday nine o'clock / and we will see who walks the walk / NO NO I CAN'T WAIT! / I will be there at eight / When they unlock the door / OH OH / I'll even dress in black and white / See I have not begun to fight / And you'll go OH much better / HELLO much better / and soon all y'all know much better / I am so much better / I am so much better / I am so much better / than before! / All of this time I've planned / I'd be patient, and / You would love me again / You'd come to respect my mind / and at last you'd find / You could love me again / And I have turned my whole world upside down / trying not to let you go... / Watching you walk away / is like a fatal blow / WHOA! / Is that my name up on that list? / Does someone know that I exist? / Is this a mistake? / Am I even awake? / Pinch me now to make sure... / OW! / Is my name in black and white? / Maybe I'm doing something right / WOW! I feel so much better than before. / WARNER! / Sorry I've been a pest / But I guess my best / Was not working with you / But looks like I've found a cure / And I so look forward to working with you / What? Working with who? / Hey remember when we spent spring break / In the hot tub every night / We said nothing else / Could ever feel so right / Well this might! / Seeing my name up on that list / That beats the first time that we kissed / You thought I was dumb, but I think that somebody's judgment was poor / Seeing my name in black and white / It's like making love with you all night / NO WAIT! / It feels so much better / hello much better / its oh, oh, oh, oh, oh / much better / 'cause I am so much better than before / Maybe she's what you prefer / But hey last year I was her / Maybe you will change your mind / But you might look up to find / I've gone on to better
ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT OTHERS HAVE NEVER SAID I’M PRETTY ENOUGH TO FUCK
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO HAVE MADE ME LOVE YOU SO MUCH
NOW, ON MY BAD DAYS, I TALK TO YOU, EVEN THOUGH YOU COULDN’T COMFORT ME THEN
I’M SOMETIMES REALLY GRATEFUL YOU COULDN’T FIND IT IN YOURSELF TO LOVE ME BACK
I DELETED A LOT OF TRUTHS ON HERE CAUSE I WANTED SOMETHING TO NOT BE ALL ABOUT YOU FOR ONCE
I AM THE MOST MENTALLY HEALTHY OF ALL MY FRIENDS AND THAT SCARES ME TO DEATH
SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME I WOULD HAVE A GREAT LOVE AFFAIR & I’M SCARED THEY WILL BE WRONG
I THINK ITS JUST FINE IF I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO TELLS ME THAT I AM ATTRACTIVE
"I’m definitely pro-selfie. When I’m on Instagram and I see that somebody took a picture of themselves, I’m like, ‘Thank you” .There’s only one you. I could Google image search ‘the sky’ and I would probably see beautiful images to knock my socks off. But I can’t Google, you know, ‘What does my friend look like today?’ For you to be able to take a picture of yourself that you feel good enough about to share with the world – I think that’s a great thing." Ezra Koenig
I SHAVED MY LEGS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 4 MONTHS TODAY AND IT WAS MOSTLY FOR YOU
Anna Sudit
BEING A SINGLE GIRL IN COLLEGE ISN’T AS FUN AS THE MOVIES MAKE IT OUT TO BE
WONDERED IF MY PARENTS LOVED EACH OTHER OR IF I HAD BEEN GUILTY OF KEEPING THEM TOGETHER ALL THESE YEARS
DRUNK AND DANCING IS WHEN ITS EASIEST TO FORGET TO BE HARD ON MYSELF
“MY VERSION OF FLIRTING IS LOOKING AT SOMEONE I FIND ATTRACTIVE AND HOPING THEY’RE BRAVER THAN I AM”
I AM STRONG & POWERFUL & INTELLIGENT & I FORGET TO TELL MYSELF THAT FAR TOO OFTEN
I’VE COME TO DEPEND ON BATHROOM GRAFFITI TO REMIND ME OF WHAT I’VE FORGOTTEN
I REFUSE TO LET YOU DICTATE WHO I AM ALLOWED TO TREAT DECENTLY
I WANT TO CHANGE BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO REMAKE MYSELF
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YOU’RE 21 AND HAVE NEVER HAD THE GUTS TO DO ANYTHING
just trying to get back to “i”. my education my treasury the legACY expanding my knowledge and opening up my self and my mind, most days i am keeping myself at bay from the anxiety and the headaches i want the Cause and the Effect. boom boom boom we need this here and that there now now now, come ON people!!. saw the new day comin it look just like me sun burst thru tha clouds my foto I D we need the cold and the hot the black and the white you think you’re feeling sad i think you can’t see the point. take a deep breath and dust yaself off nobody saw. stand up strate N tall no time to cry and call ya ma from th bathroom stawll u a role model u a stone cold mean mug curvy glass bottle a knuckle bitin tongue sweatin mary hailin big talka bomb droppa pill poppa heart stoppa aint that right Grace McDaniel
***its important to me that you know ~ my moments of sadness & misplaced wanting & distant nostalgia are far overwhelmed by uninterrupted & potent moments of supreme contentedness with what my life has become ~
kisses and hugs to Kita, Claire, and Brian for the midnight krispy kreme and love to Erin, always