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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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morning star publications 2012
Wedding Planner
Contents Most popular months for weddings Secrets to a long and happy marriage Make your own wedding invitations Common signs you may be a bridezilla Unique reception touches Honeymoon how-to Navigating an interfaith wedding Feed on these wedding favor ideas Origins of bridal customs Coloring the wedding Wedding themes can add up to fun Engagement photo tips Use cuisine to create a wedding to remember
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About the Cover ~ Khristina Passwaters and Bo McDowell were married at Union United Methodist Church in Bridgeville on September 3, 2011. Photo by Hilltop Photography, www.hilltopphotography.net
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Above - Scott and Laurie Lankford enjoy a stroll on the beach. Right - Scott and Laurie Lankford having a beach moment. Photos by Hilltop Studios
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Most popular months for weddings Every year millions of people walk down the aisle and begin the start of their new lives together as couples. December is one of the more popular months in which to get engaged, but other months of the year are more popular for weddings.
The decision on when to get married depends on a host of factors. Some couples choose the date based on availability with a church or reception hall, while others might prefer to walk down the aisle during a specific season. Some couples choose to coordinate their wedding with a special event, such as a birthday or another day of note. Most couples decide on a wedding month primarily for the weather. That's why the spring and summer are the most popular times of the year in which to tie the knot. Here is a list of the most popular months to tie the knot. 1. June 2. August 3. May 4. July 5. September 6. October 7. December 8. November 9. April 10. February 11. March 12. January Less popular months for weddings may be easier to book in terms of availability, and certain vendors may discount items because of a slower season. Having a wedding during this time can be advantageous if money is tight.
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Secrets to a long and happy marriage
S
ome might say a long celebrity marriage is one that endures the duration of the newly betrothed's trip down the aisle. We've seen Britney Spears dissolve a marriage after 55 hours and Kim Kardashian call it quits after 72 days. It seems even money can't buy matrimonial happiness. But some couples have been together for 50, 60 years and say they're still as much in love as they were the day they spoke their "I dos." What do they know that others do not? According to clinical psychologist and relationship guru Dr. Phil McGraw, "We all need to be flexible and to compromise in marriage, but you've got to be true to your core traits and characteristics, what I call your authentic self." Some couples enter a relationship projecting a persona they believe the other person wants -- one that really isn't what they're all about. This could be a woman trying to fill the role of her husband's nurturing mom or a guy playing the protector to his wife. In reality, marriage is more of a partnership, and truth and trust are often at the basis of good marriages. There are many other "secrets" that marriage experts will offer to couples seeking the magic formula. Whether you're pondering marriage or have already tied the knot, consid8
er the following advice to make a marriage endure for the long haul. • There's no such thing as the perfect marriage. Some couples create an image of what they think marriage is supposed to be, and that image that often goes "poof" once reality sets in. Even soulmates are bound to frustrate or irritate one another from time to time. • Couples should express their frustrations. Bottling up frustrations can eat at a person and eventually destroy a marriage. Talking about the things that are bothering you with your partner opens up a discussion and can help you work through things. * Divorce should not be seen as a viable option. Couples who want to bail on the marriage at every turn could be directing their energy toward divorce as the only solution instead of discovering ways to remove the cause of strife. Divorce can sometimes be the easy way out when you think about the work that goes into keeping a marriage working. Experts say that there are a few issues, like adultery, abuse and drug/ alcohol addiction, that may be reasonable catalysts for divorce if personal safety and sanity is being compromised.
• Make time for romance. It's easily said but not so easily done. Too often married couples forget what it was like to date when all of their attention was spent on each other instead of the house, kids, work, etc. Today there seems to be even more distractions, from e-mails to texts to pressure and obligations at the office. Happy couples find the time to spend quality time with their spouses -even if that's only 10 minutes of alone time a day. • Put "we" first. Many people operate on a "me" mentality. When you're part of a couple, give more to your spouse than you take. If he or she is doing the same, you're working collectively for the benefit of the marriage instead of yourselves. • Respect each other. Often couples having troubles realize they treat strangers better than they treat each other. Would use the insults or unflattering terms that you sometimes throw at your spouse with a complete stranger? Probably not. Good marriages are based on a foundation of respect and love. It's easy to lose feelings of love if the respect is gone. Couples can realize that there are some thorns that come with the roses of marriage, and staying happy together does take work for it to all be worth it.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Heidi and Chris Penuel were married on June 6, 2011. Photo by Ginger Springer Photography
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Make-your-own wedding invitations Cost-conscious couples today seek different ways they can reduce expenses on their weddings. Do-ityourself weddings have grown in popularity, and creating personalized wedding invitations is one way to save money and dream up something special. Wedding invitations can range in prices depending on the service used. Many brick-and-mortar printing companies have gone by the wayside, and online printing sources have replaced them. The reduced overhead means that many online retailers can produce wedding invitations at a lower cost than in years past. That doesn't mean they are cheap, however. Couples can expect to pay anywhere from $150 to $500 on invitations depending on style and quantity, according to estimates from many printing company Web sites. Expect
to pay around $90 (U.S.) for postage if mailing 100 standard invitations that do not require extra postage and include stamped response cards. In order to avoid overpaying for wedding invitations, or simply to create a personalized invitation, many couples are opting to go the do-ityourself route. DIY invitations are even more common thanks to the popularity of scrapbooking and papercrafting. Although people may have different standards in terms of quality for their invitations, it's important to realize the invitation is the first thing guests often see concerning the wedding, and they will help set the tone of the upcoming nuptials. Today there are many options when it comes to making invitations oneself. Couples can be as hands-on or hands-off as they like. Here are
some choices to consider. • Design it yourself, but hire a printer. Couples can visit Web sites that enable them to choose paper type, ink color, a certain template, wording, color scheme, embellishments, dye-cutting, and many other different options. Then the couple sits back and waits for the invites to come in the mail where they are put together before being sent out. These may be the most expensive of the DIY invites because a printer is still doing much of the work. • Use wedding invitation kits. Many stationery shops, craft stores and office supply retailers offer allin-one kits that can be purchased. These feature a standard design with the accoutrements of that particular design. Most will come with envelopes and small response cards. The couple simply uses the template pro-
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
vided to create text on a personal computer and then the invite can be run through a home printer. • Mix and match components. Couples who want to be a little more hands-on can purchase card stock and envelopes separately and design their own invitations according to color scheme. Clip art included with some word processing or design software can embellish invites that are then printed on a home printer. Ribbon can be added by punching holes into the invite and threading the ribbon through. • Do it all yourself. The truly crafty couple can make their invitations from scratch. This involves drawing out a template, cutting the card stock to fit, selecting envelopes, creating and executing response cards, and decorating the invitations as they see fit. This will require some tools, including scrapbooking or papercrafting supplies. A paper trimmer will help ensure straight cuts, and decorative-edged scissors can help hide any small mistakes in the edges. While this may be a cheaper option if couples get good prices on all the paper components, it also entails the most work and the greatest margin of error. Saving money on wedding components has become essential for many couples in this economy. Choosing to take on some aspects of invitation creation can help reduce costs and personalize the event even more.
Ashley and Dorian Hoffman make an entrance at their Ross Mansion reception. Photo by Delmarva Portrait Designs
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Common signs you might be a bridezilla Few brides-to-be want to be tagged as a "bridezilla." However, engaging in certain behaviors just might earn them that dubious 足distinction. It is believed the term "bridezilla" was coined in a Boston Globe article in June 1995. Since then, it has been widely used for an overbearing bride who is difficult and often a perfectionist. A woman who is obsessed about every detail of the wedding might turn into a bridezilla. There are several traits that many bridezilla's have in common. If a bride-to-be sees her own behaviors on this list, she may want to make some changes quickly or risk alienating friends and family members. * Talking about the wedding nonstop. Getting married is exciting and stressful at the same time. It is good for brides to have enthusiasm about the big day, but speaking incessantly over every little detail, especially when the conversation often veers to complaints about vendors and other arrangements, can be off-putting to people. Remember, the world is still turning outside of a bride's wedding realm. * Extreme dieting. It's understandable when a bride wants to look her best on her wedding day, and this can create a desire to shed a few pounds. However, if dieting becomes extreme, including dramatic calorie control, binging or purging, it can be unhealthy and dangerous. Putting appearances before well-being may constitute bridezilla behavior. 12
* Failing to spend time with a fiance. When wedding planning and meetings take precedence over spending time with your fiance, it can set a poor course for the future marriage and strain the current relationship. * A "me-first" attitude. It's unproductive for a bride-to-be to think that her family, bridemaids and others involved in the wedding will drop everything for the sake of the event. Although it is expected that a bridal party will partake in some tasks and responsibilities, they are not the property or employees of the bride. Also, diva behavior and meltdowns -where all the attention is directed toward the bride-to-be -- is not beneficial as well. * Going well over budget. At its core, a wedding is the union between two people who pledge to spend the rest of their lives together. While many people want to have the perfect wedding, fixating on every detail and spending excessively to achieve what is perceived as perfection is bridezilla behavior. Entering a marriage already in debt can put a strain on newlywed bliss.
* Fighting with friends and family. Oftentimes brides- and grooms-to-be mask apprehension about starting a new chapter in their lives by getting into disagreements with others. Brides may bicker with their moms over seating arrangements and hairstyles, but they might just be glossing over their evolving mother-child relationship. Fighting just to fight and draw attention to oneself is bridezilla behavior. * Expecting preferential treatment. Many bridezillas are rude to wedding vendors and think that they deserve something extra. Individuals should remember that florists, dress shops, musicians, and photographers work very hard in their lines of work and often with couples who are emotional and feeling the stress of spending large amounts of money. Adding even more animosity to the situation could result in less-than-stellar results on the big day. There are things every bride should do in preparation for her wedding. Then there are things that should be avoided for fear of transforming into a bridezilla.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
We make Memories. Are you dreaming of the intimate romance of an historic stone mansion and gardens? Or perhaps you prefer a grand sunset reception at the beach. At the University of Delaware, we take great pride in knowing that we have made dreams just like these come true. Now let our wedding coordinator help you plan your rehearsal dinner and reception – from flowers to food, to the champagne toast and cake cutting. Whether you are deciding between an indoor or outdoor event, big or small, we have the perfect place for a day to remember forever.
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Unique reception touches
O
ver the course of their lifetimes, many people will be wedding guests on several occasions. During the height of wedding season, weddings can run into one another, as the format and the festivities are similar at various ceremonies. Couples interested in setting their nuptials apart may want to enhance the wedding reception with a few unique ideas. Who hasn't attended a wedding that seems formulaic? The couple enters, they do their spotlight dance, there's food, a bouquet toss and then the cake cutting. Guests may actually be able to predict what's coming next. While it is often customary and easy to follow tradition, that doesn't mean you cannot buck with tradition and offer a few creative ideas to make your event stand out. Here are several ideas you can introduce into your wedding to add something special to the reception. • Skip the big entrance. Those who were kind enough to attend the ceremony have already been introduced to the newly minted happy couple. Instead of spending the cocktail hour in the isolation of the wedding suite, mingle with your guests from start to finish. So much time is spent posing for pictures or being out of touch with guests, the cocktail hour can be a great time to sit and chat. Being with guests during the cocktail hour means you don't have to make that big entrance from behind closed doors. Guests will have all eyes on you when you step on the dance floor for your
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first dance together. • Dance to an upbeat number. Guests are expecting a slow, sappy tune. What they may not expect is an upbeat song that shows you are willing to have a little fun. If you haven't mastered the waltz but enjoy a little quick step now and again, feel free to choose a tune that shows your excitement and love for each other. • Encourage couples to dance together. It's often customary for the bridal party to join the bride and groom on the dance floor midway through the first dance. However, that leaves spouses or significant others waiting in the wings while their dates tango with groomsmen or bridesmaids. Instead, don't have assigned partners. Rather, encourage your bridal party members to dance with whomever they choose. • Swap the garter/bouquet toss for something more meaningful. If you're part of a couple who feels the garter and bouquet toss has become trite, there are other ways to create special moments in your celebration -ones that don't single out the singletons who haven't yet found their special someones. Use this time to present a small gift or token of your affection to someone on the guest list who has served as a mentor or source of inspiration. • Choose one special component as an extra goodie for guests. Some couples feel the more they offer the better guests will view their wedding. Spending more money doesn't necessarily mean guests will have a better time. If you want to go above and beyond the ordi-
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Above - Jessica and Jim Eriksen were married at Bordeleau Vineyard in Eden, Md. on October 22, 2011.
Left - Erika and Josh Harper married at St. John's in Seaford on April 23, 2011. Photos by Ginger Springer Photography
nary, find one thing that you absolutely love and offer that at the party. It could be a flambe presentation, a chocolate or candy bar, a carving station with your alltime favorite food (even if that's PB&J), or a carnivalinspired automatic photo booth. • Hire a live performer. Although it's hard to beat the performance quality of your wedding song being performed by the original artist, unless you're cousins with Celine Dion, chances are she won't be available to sing "My Heart Will Go On" at your reception. However, a live band adds a certain level of excitement that a disk jockey may not be able to provide. Those who are adding a cultural or ethnic component to their wedding may want to hire a dance troupe or another type of performer, like a bagpiper, as an added measure of entertainment for guests. • Let them eat ... cookies? Some people just don't like cake. Therefore, why should a couple have to cut a seventiered white confection? Towers of different types of treats can be created from just about anything and serve as the perfect backdrop for that classic cake-cutting photo. A pyramid of cream puffs, stacks of brownies, a cookie castle, or cereal-cake concoctions can work. Some bakeries will decorate a "dummy" styrofoam cake, and then you can serve apple pie a la mode, if you desire. • Stage a costume switch. Let's face it, dancing all night in a long gown takes some stamina. As the bride, have a more comfortable cocktail dress available to switch into for the latter part of the reception. It will also add some variety to your wedding photos.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Alison Ince and Matthew Rogers were married April 9, 2011 in Rehoboth Beach. Video by A+ Video Productions
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Honeymoon how-to A
fter the thrill of wedding festivities dies down, couples often jet off to a honeymoon retreat and begin an entirely different adventure. The honeymoon may create mixed feelings, some concerning the chance to spend time alone after months of planning and a few feelings of anxiety over spending the first night together as a married couple. For many couples, the honeymoon wedding night is the first time they are intimate together or it holds a special meaning of being intimate for the first time after being married. Such significance can put pressure on a happy and natural experience. Wedding jitters are normal, as are honeymoon and wedding night jitters. But just as wedding trends have changed through the years, so, too, have beliefs about the wedding night. Knowing about shifting trends can alleviate some of the nervousness. According to a recent survey from Brides magazine, one in three brides 20
plan to get into bed on the wedding night and ... sleep. After all of the hoopla of planning and enjoying the wedding, most people are exhausted. Others say they plan to stay up and relive moments of the day. Only about half of all couples think they will consummate the marriage on their wedding night. Taking the pressure off of the wedding night means that the rest of the honeymoon may be filled with opportunities to be amorous. But couples may still be filled with expectations for the perfect romantic retreat. Here are some things to think about. • Accept the fact that some wedding nights and honeymoons aren't exactly what's pictured in the movies. Don't try to live up to a Hollywoodinspired ideal or you may be let down when things don't go your way. In other words, it may rain on your beachside liaison. • A wedding requires a lot of work. Many people find themselves
to be physically exhausted afterward. Others find they are so wound up that they cannot relax. When the mind or body is on adrenaline overload or completely wiped out, it's not the ideal situation for romantic endeavors. • Try to make the honeymoon stand apart from other nights by packing nice lingerie or nighttime attire so that the memories will be special. There will be plenty of other times down the road when you're an old, married couple to hop between the sheets in a ratty college T-shirt. • Pack some candles and mood music, or ask the resort to handle these details for you. These items can help set the scene. • Make sure your packing list includes special toiletries and birth control methods if you're not ready to start a family so soon after being married. The brands you prefer may be hard to acquire while at some honeymoon locations.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Navigating an interfaith wedding Faith plays an important role in many people's lives, perhaps even more so when it comes time to celebrate a wedding. However, couples who do not share the same faith may have to make some compromises. Although romantic feelings may transcend faith, heritage and other factors that make people so different, individuals who are quite religious often find that there are some challenges to getting married to someone outside their own faith. Depending on the faith, some religions will not honor a wedding that does not conform to their strict guidelines for a wedding within the faith. Oftentimes, this means that both participants need to have been raised according to the faith, including meeting certain religious milestones throughout their lives. For example, Catholics must have been baptised, received communion and
been confirmed under the auspices of the Catholic church before being allowed to marry. They must present official certificates of these sacraments in order to receive a religious Catholic wedding. Those of the Jewish faith may believe in a "bashert," a belief that everyone has a soul mate. According to the Talmud, 40 days before a male child is conceived a voice from heaven announces whose daughter he is going to marry. In Yiddish, this perfect match is called "bashert," a word meaning fate or destiny. The bashert is typically one who is also Jewish. To handle the intricacies of an interfaith marriage, it is wise to speak to clergy in your respective religions to see what will be required of you as a couple. There could be workarounds, depending on what the couple decide. Some couples feel it is in their
best interest if either one of them converts to the other's religion so that the ceremony is easier. Others choose to hold two distinct religious ceremonies if the officiants are lenient in their rules to allow it to happen. In other cases, couples feel it is better to have a non-denominational wedding to avoid any obstacles. Even though this ceremony will not be sanctioned by either church, the couple can still choose to include prayers and customs specific to their faiths in the ceremony. Many couples decide that their mutual love and happiness is reason enough for an interfaith wedding, even if that means sacrificing acceptance by their clergy and church. Interfaith couples should begin wedding planning early to discover what will be expected of them to have the wedding they desire.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Feed on these wedding favor ideas Do you have a shelf or cabinet that's filled to the brim with wedding favors such as engraved ice cream scoopers, cake servers, cheese spreaders or tea light candle holders? If you do, you're not alone. As couples pore over guest favor options, many select trinkets or knickknacks that, while thoughtful, end up collecting dust in someone's home. Edible gifts also can be thoughtful -- and flavorful! Guests may look forward to an edible favor because it's a memento of the special occasion and it won't become a permanent fixture in their homes. There are many edible favors from which to choose. They can also be customized according to the theme of the wedding.
Chocolate It's difficult to find an edible favor more universally beloved than chocolate. Rich and inviting, chocolate has long been given as a symbol of love and devotion. Chocolate candies and baked goods can work well for wedding favors, provided the favors are 22
refrigerated to avoid melting. Ideas for chocolate favors include individually packaged truffles, gourmet brownie bites, candy-covered chocolates with an inscription, chocolate covered apples, chocolate coins, and other similar creations. Chocolate molded designs (much like those chocolate Easter bunnies) are another idea.
Cookies Sweet cookies also make good edible favors. Butter cookies are a favorite because they are sturdy enough to cut into different shapes. Professionally iced, these cookies can be a masterpiece to behold. Some couples opt for customized fortune cookies that express personalized sentiments to guests.
Make-your-own Sometimes it's less expensive to give guests kits that they can take home to create their own edible treasures. Options abound and can include everything from personalized
packets of hot chocolate to tea bags. Other couples choose among mixes for making cookies or cakes.
Candies It has become popular to have a self-serve candy bar at many weddings. Guests are invited to step up to the display and serve themselves from a series of different confections. Autumn weddings could have Halloween-inspired candies or those in fall hues. It's easy to follow a color theme when you have a bevy of different candies at your disposal. Many discount stores sell inexpensive jars and candy dishes to house the candy. Designer Chinese takeout-type containers are available from craft stores and can be the perfect way for guests to make that candy portable.
Other edibles From cupcakes to maple syrup to personalized bottles of barbecue sauce, couples have so many options for guest favors at their disposal.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
First dance song ideas If Michael Buble or Nat King Cole aren't on your playlists, chances are you may be looking for a firstdance song that's a little less traditional for your wedding reception. Couples considering a song that's a little different and speaks to them but won't necessarily offend the wedding purists in attendance, might want to consider the following tunes: "Someone Like You" (Van Morrison) "Moon River" (Andy Williams) "Turn Your Lights Down Low" (Bob Marley and the Wailers) "Crazy for You" (Adele) "By Your Side" (Sade) "What a Wonderful World" (Louis Armstrong)
Shannon and Olaf van Yperen were married at Addy-Sea, Bethany Beach. Photo by Hilltop Studios
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Call the Seaford Historical Society at 628-9828 to make your Reservation Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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The wedding party of Bo and Khristina Passwaters McDowell ham it up for the groom. Photos by Hilltop Studios
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Origins of bridal customs Chances are those who have attended a wedding have witnessed some popular traditions take place. The bride wears a veil, a court of wedding attendants accompanies the bride and groom, and birdseed, rice or flower petals are tossed. But have you ever wondered why? The wedding customs are ripe with tradition and harken back to days when superstition and myth often ruled the day. • Throwing rice: Today it has become de rigueur to blow bubbles, toss birdseed or release doves when the bride and groom leave the house of worship newly betrothed. That's because savvy individuals found that raw rice can pose a hazard to birds pecking in the area. However, rice throwing is an old custom that dates back to the Middle Ages, when wheat or rice where thrown to symbolize fertility for the couple. • Bouquet: Nowadays, the bride carries a beautiful bouquet of flowers. But the purpose of the bouquet held different meanings in the past. Saracen brides carried orange blossoms for fertility. Others carried a combination of herbs and flowers to ward off evil spirits with their aroma. Bouquets of dill were often carried, again for fertility reasons, and after the ceremony, the dill was eaten to encourage lust. • Bridesmaids: There may be arguments over dresses and how many bridesmaids to have in a wedding party now, but in ancient times it was "the more the merrier." That's because bridesmaids were another measure to keep the bride safe against evil spirits. Essentially the bridesmaids were decoys for the spirits -- dressing like the bride to confuse the spirits or maybe help deter them to leave the bride be. • Wedding rings: Wearing of wedding rings dates back to ancient Egypt. The round shape of a ring symbolizes eternal love. The ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it is believed this finger has a blood vessel that goes directly to the heart. • Wedding cake: The traditional wedding cake evolved from Roman times when the cake was originally made from wheat. It was broken over the bride's head to ensure fertility. All of the guests eat a piece for good luck. Single women used to place a piece of wedding cake under their pillows in the hopes of finding their own husbands.
• Father accompanying the bride: This tradition symbolizes that the bride's father endorses the choice in husbands and is presenting his daughter as a pure bride to that man. • Kissing the bride: In older times, a kiss symbolized a legal bond. Therefore, the bride and groom kissed to seal the deal on their betrothal. There are many traditions surrounding a wedding that people simply accept. But understanding their origins can make the ceremony more meaningful.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Jessica and Jim Eriksen were married at Bordeleau Vineyard in Eden, Md. on October 22, 2011. Photo by Ginger Springer Photography
Coloring the wedding Choosing a hue for the bridesmaid gowns
B
ridesmaids are an important part of the wedding party, and most brides opt to have a handful of close friends and family members play a special role in the wedding. Choosing a gown and a color that will flatter all of the bridesmaids typically takes a little work. An overwhelming majority of couples choose to have a formal wedding. The average number of bridesmaids for these formal weddings is four. Considering around two million weddings take place in North America every year, that's a lot of bridesmaids for whom gowns and other attire must be planned. Many bridesmaids worry about 26
the gowns they will wear come the big day. Horrible bridesmaid dresses have been the butt of jokes for years, and many people have their own stories of garish gowns they've been asked to don for a wedding. Some have said that brides intentionally choose ugly gowns for their bridesmaids to ensure they're not outshined come the wedding day. Although this may be the case for some, most brides aspire to select gowns that will be flattering for all. And color scheme is integral in the choice of gown. Every well-planned wedding carries a color scheme throughout. This includes the color a bride selects for
her bridesmaids to wear. But not every color accentuates everyone's features. Therefore, some experimentation might be necessary to find a color that is flattering to all and fits with the color scheme. Depending on hair color and skin shade, there are many flattering hues available for gowns. When making this decision, consider bridesmaids' ethnicity and skin tone. African-American:Women with dark skin and hair may really shine in jewel-colored gowns, including silver, gold, purple and salmon. Very pale colors may be daring and conspicuous. Asian and olive-skinned women:
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Those with a slight yellow tone to their skin will look good in many colors, including red, navy, peach, and fuchsia. However, avoid colors in light yellow, aqua, gray, taupe, or mint, which may make the bridesmaid look washed out. Fair skin:Ladies with pale skin will benefit from richly colored gowns in jewel tones. Pastels may work, but be careful about those depending on hair color. Pink or red-hued gowns may clash with someone with auburn hair. Yellow and green may not work with a fair brunette. Gray and silver may wash out someone who is pale and blonde. Once a color is chosen, brides also need to consider the season. Certain colors may look out of place depending on the season. For example, an evergreen or deep blue may seem wintry during a summer wedding. Similarly, russet or brown may work for the autumn but not for a spring wedding.
Many brides gravitate toward mid-level blues, greens, pinks and purples for their weddings, simply because those colors transcend the seasons. After colors are worked out, the style of the gown deserves consideration. Because not every bridesmaid has the same physical attributes, many brides are now open to selecting a color and length and allowing the bridesmaid herself to choose the exact style. This way someone who is busty won't feel uncomfortable in strapless, and someone who is thin won't be overwhelmed by a lot of ruffles. The intent is to have bridesmaids feel beautiful and comfortable, and different styles can help achieve this. Making the effort to choose a gown color and style that is flattering to all in the bridal party will help the ladies feel they are truly a special part of the wedding.
Ashley Thompson married Matt Hill at Heritage Shores in Bridgeville on September 9, 2011. Photo by Ginger Springer Photography
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Wedding themes can add up to extra fun Every couple wants their wedding to be memorable. The goal of planning a wedding is to create an experience that everyone will remember for years to come. For some couples, a theme wedding is the best way to accomplish just that. When it comes time to select a theme, the day the wedding takes place may dictate the theme. For example, if the wedding takes place on Halloween, the ideas for the theme are easy. Many other couples choose a theme that highlights a specific interest or hobby or something that is dear to them. Here are some popular wedding themes. • Holiday: The Christmas season lends itself well to wedding planning. The colors (red, green, gold) are already established, and most churches and buildings are already decked out in holiday finery, cutting down on the amount of flowers and embellishments couples need. Because the holiday season is so busy and a popular time for socializing, couples who want to tie the knot during this time 28
of year should send save-the-date cards well in advance. Another option is to have a "Christmas in July" wedding, featuring the same holiday themes but without the hectic nature of the holiday season. • Vegas: Couples who want to tie the knot in Las Vegas but want to ensure all their loved ones can attend can recreate the magic of Vegas wherever they may be. Casinoinspired games and big buffet meals can make guests feel like they have stepped into a casino on the famed Vegas strip. In addition, an Elvis impersonator is essential to a Vegas wedding. • TV show: Some couples elevate certain television shows to cult status. Whether it's "Friends" or "Star Trek," popular television shows have been transformed into festive wedding themes. Whether the idea is to go daring and exchange vows in costume or simply name reception tables according to characters or show locations, couples can include a little
television fun into the event. • Fairytale: Many men and women envision a fairytale wedding complete with horse-drawn carriage and the "happily ever after." This is what makes Disney properties as well as the various castles around the world popular backdrops for wedding events. Those planning a fairytale wedding need only look to favorite stories or movies for their inspiration. • Interest or passion: Love to climb mountains? Avid about scuba diving? Couples who share a particular interest can include elements of this sport or hobby into their wedding. Invitations and decor can hint at the theme, and then special activities can further enhance it. Fish bowls as centerpieces may call to mind underwater adventures, while surfboard-shaped invites may set the scene for a beachside party. Theme weddings can add an extra spice to the festivities and incorporate couples' interests into the event -- making it even more special.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Theo and Lindsey English Schilling share a special moment. Photo by Hilltop Studios
Wedding Day Folklore Brides and grooms believe in many old wives' tales, folklore and good luck charms to ensure a happy marriage. Here are just some of the wedding day superstitions.
• The English believe a spider found in a wedding dress is good luck. • A sugar cube in a bride's glove is believed to sweeten the union, according to Greeks. • The groom carries the bride over the threshhold to protect her from evil spirits below. • Saturday is considered the unluckiest day to marry, according to English tradition.
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Engagement photo tips Newly engaged couples choose to capture the occasion in photos that they can cherish. Often, one of these photos is used as an announcement to family and friends and might even be published in the newspaper. Engagement photos may be part of a package negotiated with the photographer who will be covering the wedding day. Some couples enlist the help of a friend or a budding photographer to capture an engagement shot. The average cost of engagement photos can range from $200 to $500. Some couples opt to use a photographer who might specialize in other areas but may want to break into the wedding biz because of how lucrative it can be. Costs may be negotiated as a result. When shopping around for a photographer, there are certain things couples should keep in mind. The first and most important is selecting a photographer you can relate to. If you don't feel a connection with the photographer, he or she will have trouble coaxing the shots that will produce the best results. He or she should also be a professional and have some experience working with posing couples. This way the photos don't look stiff or contrived. Here are some other tips that can lead to great photos. • Find a photographer who fits your style. If you're a quirky couple, go with a quirky photographer. If you're reserved and a follow-the-book type of couple, then select a more traditional photographer. Some photographers out there forget that this is your moment and want to impart their idea of what you want. Make sure he or she takes your ideas into consideration. • Select one who is open to different shoot locations and brainstorming. Some of the best photos occur in natural settings, where things aren't entirely planned. If a photographer simply works out of a studio, you may want to select one who has more free reign with different locales. • Choose your location wisely. Certain locations will stand out in your minds because they are visually stunning or are special places where you have spent moments as a couple. By choosing a place that offers a personal connection, there's a good chance you'll appreciate the photos in the long run. Also, be open to the fact that unplanned stops may offer a great background for the image. Be open to the unexpected. • Try random poses and some candid shots. Although you might have a vision of the perfect photo in your mind, experimenting with different ideas can sometimes lead to a great photo you really love. Expect to take your share of kissing, nose-touching and portrait shots. But some fun poses, such as running or jumping (or rolling around on a beach full of waves) can produce candid shots that are truly masterpieces. • Choose clothing that fits the mood. If time and bud30
Engagement photos don't have to be posed portraits. Experiment with looks that fit your personalities for memorable photos.
get allows, have several different wardrobe changes so that you can see which outfits work and which ones don't. A formal outfit, comfortable street clothes, something beachy or clothing that fits with your interests can make for interesting engagement photos. Avoid clothing that is too trendy or busy, which may take away from the actual images in the long run. Plus, you don't want to look back at these photos in the future and say, "What was I thinking?" Avoid matchy-matchy, though. If you are dressed alike, you may appear to be trying too hard. It's the individual personalities you want to shine through.
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Above and bottom left - Ashley Collins married Dorian Hoffman on October 8, 2011 at the Ross Mansion in Seaford. Photo by Delmarva Portrait Designs
Above - Father, James Young, giving away daughter, Luan, at Christ Lutheran Church, July 16, 2011. Photo by Delmarva Portrait Designs
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Use cuisine to create a wedding to remember Despite the months of planning and poring over every minute detail of a wedding, it has often been said that what people remember most about wedding receptions is the food and if they had fun. Therefore, instead of worrying about choosing Jordan almonds over chocolate truffles, or whether the cake should have an extra tier, couples may want to pay more attention to selecting their reception menus. Although certain foods are wedding staples, it could pay for couples to think with their stomachs instead of their heads when selecting wedding day fare. Having a selection of foods that taste as good as they look is a wise idea over having certain foods simply because they are trendy. Whether you are cooking yourself, having a family member serve as chef or relying on the menu of the reception hall, think about foods that will please guests and select those items, regardless of them being fancy. Here are some other tips. * You want foods to be filling but not so much so that guests have to waddle to the dance floor. If you're planning on several courses, keep portion sizes small to offer a taste of 32
the different items offered. * Classic foods can work well as wedding fare. Roasts, barbecued meats and favorite pasta dishes can make guests feel like they're dining at someone's home and not at a wedding. * Choose items people have heard of. Instead of tornadoes of beef, select a hearty prime rib. Just because a dish sounds fancy doesn't make it taste better. If a guest doesn't know what he or she is eating, it can be uncomfortable. Now is not the time to experiment with exotic foods, either. Otherwise, some picky eaters may be left hungry. * Think about the foods you love and see if they can be incorporated at the wedding. Although a breakfast bar at an evening event may seem funny, waffles and omelets may appeal to a greater number of guests than a gourmet fish creation. * Don't make vegetarians an afterthought. Too often, vegetarians must eat whatever the kitchen can pull together, which is usually a compilation of the vegetable garnishes from the meat dishes. Make an effort to have a true vegetarian dish that is intricate and delicious.
* Mashed potatoes are a crowd pleaser. Serve little portions of mashed potatoes in cocktail glasses and enable guests to top as they see fit with bacon bits, cheese or chives. * No idea is silly, and serving any type of food in a hors d'oeuvre style can make it acceptable at a formal affair, whether that food is pizza or caviar-topped crackers. * If you have a favorite restaurant that serves delicious food, find out if they will cater your wedding. * Just because it isn't on the menu doesn't mean it cannot be prepared. Talk to the catering manager and let him or her know your preferences. Provided you're willing to pay a little more, there's a good chance you can have items that aren't on the standard catering menu. * Think outside the box for your cocktail hour "bars." A bread bar, a dipping station, milk and cookies service, or vegetable bar are options that go against the standard cheese and pasta stations. Although it's your wedding, ultimately the goal is to please the guests. By choosing foods they will love, you're guaranteed positive remarks on your wedding.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Juleeann Liswell and Matthew Schlitter were married June 25, 2011 in Dover. Video by A+ Video Productions
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Beautiful Elegant You birchportraits.com 302 542 8392 2
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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morning star publications 2012
Wedding Planner
Contents Most popular months for weddings Secrets to a long and happy marriage Make your own wedding invitations Common signs you may be a bridezilla Unique reception touches Honeymoon how-to Navigating an interfaith wedding Feed on these wedding favor ideas Origins of bridal customs Coloring the wedding Wedding themes can add up to fun Engagement photo tips Use cuisine to create a wedding to remember
07 08 10 12 14 20 21 22 25 26 28 30 32
About the Cover ~ Khristina Passwaters and Bo McDowell were married at Union United Methodist Church in Bridgeville on September 3, 2011. Photo by Hilltop Photography, www.hilltopphotography.net
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Above - Scott and Laurie Lankford enjoy a stroll on the beach. Right - Scott and Laurie Lankford having a beach moment. Photos by Hilltop Studios
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Most popular months for weddings Every year millions of people walk down the aisle and begin the start of their new lives together as couples. December is one of the more popular months in which to get engaged, but other months of the year are more popular for weddings.
The decision on when to get married depends on a host of factors. Some couples choose the date based on availability with a church or reception hall, while others might prefer to walk down the aisle during a specific season. Some couples choose to coordinate their wedding with a special event, such as a birthday or another day of note. Most couples decide on a wedding month primarily for the weather. That's why the spring and summer are the most popular times of the year in which to tie the knot. Here is a list of the most popular months to tie the knot. 1. June 2. August 3. May 4. July 5. September 6. October 7. December 8. November 9. April 10. February 11. March 12. January Less popular months for weddings may be easier to book in terms of availability, and certain vendors may discount items because of a slower season. Having a wedding during this time can be advantageous if money is tight.
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Secrets to a long and happy marriage
S
ome might say a long celebrity marriage is one that endures the duration of the newly betrothed's trip down the aisle. We've seen Britney Spears dissolve a marriage after 55 hours and Kim Kardashian call it quits after 72 days. It seems even money can't buy matrimonial happiness. But some couples have been together for 50, 60 years and say they're still as much in love as they were the day they spoke their "I dos." What do they know that others do not? According to clinical psychologist and relationship guru Dr. Phil McGraw, "We all need to be flexible and to compromise in marriage, but you've got to be true to your core traits and characteristics, what I call your authentic self." Some couples enter a relationship projecting a persona they believe the other person wants -- one that really isn't what they're all about. This could be a woman trying to fill the role of her husband's nurturing mom or a guy playing the protector to his wife. In reality, marriage is more of a partnership, and truth and trust are often at the basis of good marriages. There are many other "secrets" that marriage experts will offer to couples seeking the magic formula. Whether you're pondering marriage or have already tied the knot, consid8
er the following advice to make a marriage endure for the long haul. • There's no such thing as the perfect marriage. Some couples create an image of what they think marriage is supposed to be, and that image that often goes "poof" once reality sets in. Even soulmates are bound to frustrate or irritate one another from time to time. • Couples should express their frustrations. Bottling up frustrations can eat at a person and eventually destroy a marriage. Talking about the things that are bothering you with your partner opens up a discussion and can help you work through things. * Divorce should not be seen as a viable option. Couples who want to bail on the marriage at every turn could be directing their energy toward divorce as the only solution instead of discovering ways to remove the cause of strife. Divorce can sometimes be the easy way out when you think about the work that goes into keeping a marriage working. Experts say that there are a few issues, like adultery, abuse and drug/ alcohol addiction, that may be reasonable catalysts for divorce if personal safety and sanity is being compromised.
• Make time for romance. It's easily said but not so easily done. Too often married couples forget what it was like to date when all of their attention was spent on each other instead of the house, kids, work, etc. Today there seems to be even more distractions, from e-mails to texts to pressure and obligations at the office. Happy couples find the time to spend quality time with their spouses -even if that's only 10 minutes of alone time a day. • Put "we" first. Many people operate on a "me" mentality. When you're part of a couple, give more to your spouse than you take. If he or she is doing the same, you're working collectively for the benefit of the marriage instead of yourselves. • Respect each other. Often couples having troubles realize they treat strangers better than they treat each other. Would use the insults or unflattering terms that you sometimes throw at your spouse with a complete stranger? Probably not. Good marriages are based on a foundation of respect and love. It's easy to lose feelings of love if the respect is gone. Couples can realize that there are some thorns that come with the roses of marriage, and staying happy together does take work for it to all be worth it.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Heidi and Chris Penuel were married on June 6, 2011. Photo by Ginger Springer Photography
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Make-your-own wedding invitations Cost-conscious couples today seek different ways they can reduce expenses on their weddings. Do-ityourself weddings have grown in popularity, and creating personalized wedding invitations is one way to save money and dream up something special. Wedding invitations can range in prices depending on the service used. Many brick-and-mortar printing companies have gone by the wayside, and online printing sources have replaced them. The reduced overhead means that many online retailers can produce wedding invitations at a lower cost than in years past. That doesn't mean they are cheap, however. Couples can expect to pay anywhere from $150 to $500 on invitations depending on style and quantity, according to estimates from many printing company Web sites. Expect
to pay around $90 (U.S.) for postage if mailing 100 standard invitations that do not require extra postage and include stamped response cards. In order to avoid overpaying for wedding invitations, or simply to create a personalized invitation, many couples are opting to go the do-ityourself route. DIY invitations are even more common thanks to the popularity of scrapbooking and papercrafting. Although people may have different standards in terms of quality for their invitations, it's important to realize the invitation is the first thing guests often see concerning the wedding, and they will help set the tone of the upcoming nuptials. Today there are many options when it comes to making invitations oneself. Couples can be as hands-on or hands-off as they like. Here are
some choices to consider. • Design it yourself, but hire a printer. Couples can visit Web sites that enable them to choose paper type, ink color, a certain template, wording, color scheme, embellishments, dye-cutting, and many other different options. Then the couple sits back and waits for the invites to come in the mail where they are put together before being sent out. These may be the most expensive of the DIY invites because a printer is still doing much of the work. • Use wedding invitation kits. Many stationery shops, craft stores and office supply retailers offer allin-one kits that can be purchased. These feature a standard design with the accoutrements of that particular design. Most will come with envelopes and small response cards. The couple simply uses the template pro-
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
vided to create text on a personal computer and then the invite can be run through a home printer. • Mix and match components. Couples who want to be a little more hands-on can purchase card stock and envelopes separately and design their own invitations according to color scheme. Clip art included with some word processing or design software can embellish invites that are then printed on a home printer. Ribbon can be added by punching holes into the invite and threading the ribbon through. • Do it all yourself. The truly crafty couple can make their invitations from scratch. This involves drawing out a template, cutting the card stock to fit, selecting envelopes, creating and executing response cards, and decorating the invitations as they see fit. This will require some tools, including scrapbooking or papercrafting supplies. A paper trimmer will help ensure straight cuts, and decorative-edged scissors can help hide any small mistakes in the edges. While this may be a cheaper option if couples get good prices on all the paper components, it also entails the most work and the greatest margin of error. Saving money on wedding components has become essential for many couples in this economy. Choosing to take on some aspects of invitation creation can help reduce costs and personalize the event even more.
Ashley and Dorian Hoffman make an entrance at their Ross Mansion reception. Photo by Delmarva Portrait Designs
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Common signs you might be a bridezilla Few brides-to-be want to be tagged as a "bridezilla." However, engaging in certain behaviors just might earn them that dubious 足distinction. It is believed the term "bridezilla" was coined in a Boston Globe article in June 1995. Since then, it has been widely used for an overbearing bride who is difficult and often a perfectionist. A woman who is obsessed about every detail of the wedding might turn into a bridezilla. There are several traits that many bridezilla's have in common. If a bride-to-be sees her own behaviors on this list, she may want to make some changes quickly or risk alienating friends and family members. * Talking about the wedding nonstop. Getting married is exciting and stressful at the same time. It is good for brides to have enthusiasm about the big day, but speaking incessantly over every little detail, especially when the conversation often veers to complaints about vendors and other arrangements, can be off-putting to people. Remember, the world is still turning outside of a bride's wedding realm. * Extreme dieting. It's understandable when a bride wants to look her best on her wedding day, and this can create a desire to shed a few pounds. However, if dieting becomes extreme, including dramatic calorie control, binging or purging, it can be unhealthy and dangerous. Putting appearances before well-being may constitute bridezilla behavior. 12
* Failing to spend time with a fiance. When wedding planning and meetings take precedence over spending time with your fiance, it can set a poor course for the future marriage and strain the current relationship. * A "me-first" attitude. It's unproductive for a bride-to-be to think that her family, bridemaids and others involved in the wedding will drop everything for the sake of the event. Although it is expected that a bridal party will partake in some tasks and responsibilities, they are not the property or employees of the bride. Also, diva behavior and meltdowns -where all the attention is directed toward the bride-to-be -- is not beneficial as well. * Going well over budget. At its core, a wedding is the union between two people who pledge to spend the rest of their lives together. While many people want to have the perfect wedding, fixating on every detail and spending excessively to achieve what is perceived as perfection is bridezilla behavior. Entering a marriage already in debt can put a strain on newlywed bliss.
* Fighting with friends and family. Oftentimes brides- and grooms-to-be mask apprehension about starting a new chapter in their lives by getting into disagreements with others. Brides may bicker with their moms over seating arrangements and hairstyles, but they might just be glossing over their evolving mother-child relationship. Fighting just to fight and draw attention to oneself is bridezilla behavior. * Expecting preferential treatment. Many bridezillas are rude to wedding vendors and think that they deserve something extra. Individuals should remember that florists, dress shops, musicians, and photographers work very hard in their lines of work and often with couples who are emotional and feeling the stress of spending large amounts of money. Adding even more animosity to the situation could result in less-than-stellar results on the big day. There are things every bride should do in preparation for her wedding. Then there are things that should be avoided for fear of transforming into a bridezilla.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
We make Memories. Are you dreaming of the intimate romance of an historic stone mansion and gardens? Or perhaps you prefer a grand sunset reception at the beach. At the University of Delaware, we take great pride in knowing that we have made dreams just like these come true. Now let our wedding coordinator help you plan your rehearsal dinner and reception – from flowers to food, to the champagne toast and cake cutting. Whether you are deciding between an indoor or outdoor event, big or small, we have the perfect place for a day to remember forever.
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Unique reception touches
O
ver the course of their lifetimes, many people will be wedding guests on several occasions. During the height of wedding season, weddings can run into one another, as the format and the festivities are similar at various ceremonies. Couples interested in setting their nuptials apart may want to enhance the wedding reception with a few unique ideas. Who hasn't attended a wedding that seems formulaic? The couple enters, they do their spotlight dance, there's food, a bouquet toss and then the cake cutting. Guests may actually be able to predict what's coming next. While it is often customary and easy to follow tradition, that doesn't mean you cannot buck with tradition and offer a few creative ideas to make your event stand out. Here are several ideas you can introduce into your wedding to add something special to the reception. • Skip the big entrance. Those who were kind enough to attend the ceremony have already been introduced to the newly minted happy couple. Instead of spending the cocktail hour in the isolation of the wedding suite, mingle with your guests from start to finish. So much time is spent posing for pictures or being out of touch with guests, the cocktail hour can be a great time to sit and chat. Being with guests during the cocktail hour means you don't have to make that big entrance from behind closed doors. Guests will have all eyes on you when you step on the dance floor for your
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first dance together. • Dance to an upbeat number. Guests are expecting a slow, sappy tune. What they may not expect is an upbeat song that shows you are willing to have a little fun. If you haven't mastered the waltz but enjoy a little quick step now and again, feel free to choose a tune that shows your excitement and love for each other. • Encourage couples to dance together. It's often customary for the bridal party to join the bride and groom on the dance floor midway through the first dance. However, that leaves spouses or significant others waiting in the wings while their dates tango with groomsmen or bridesmaids. Instead, don't have assigned partners. Rather, encourage your bridal party members to dance with whomever they choose. • Swap the garter/bouquet toss for something more meaningful. If you're part of a couple who feels the garter and bouquet toss has become trite, there are other ways to create special moments in your celebration -ones that don't single out the singletons who haven't yet found their special someones. Use this time to present a small gift or token of your affection to someone on the guest list who has served as a mentor or source of inspiration. • Choose one special component as an extra goodie for guests. Some couples feel the more they offer the better guests will view their wedding. Spending more money doesn't necessarily mean guests will have a better time. If you want to go above and beyond the ordi-
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Above - Jessica and Jim Eriksen were married at Bordeleau Vineyard in Eden, Md. on October 22, 2011.
Left - Erika and Josh Harper married at St. John's in Seaford on April 23, 2011. Photos by Ginger Springer Photography
nary, find one thing that you absolutely love and offer that at the party. It could be a flambe presentation, a chocolate or candy bar, a carving station with your alltime favorite food (even if that's PB&J), or a carnivalinspired automatic photo booth. • Hire a live performer. Although it's hard to beat the performance quality of your wedding song being performed by the original artist, unless you're cousins with Celine Dion, chances are she won't be available to sing "My Heart Will Go On" at your reception. However, a live band adds a certain level of excitement that a disk jockey may not be able to provide. Those who are adding a cultural or ethnic component to their wedding may want to hire a dance troupe or another type of performer, like a bagpiper, as an added measure of entertainment for guests. • Let them eat ... cookies? Some people just don't like cake. Therefore, why should a couple have to cut a seventiered white confection? Towers of different types of treats can be created from just about anything and serve as the perfect backdrop for that classic cake-cutting photo. A pyramid of cream puffs, stacks of brownies, a cookie castle, or cereal-cake concoctions can work. Some bakeries will decorate a "dummy" styrofoam cake, and then you can serve apple pie a la mode, if you desire. • Stage a costume switch. Let's face it, dancing all night in a long gown takes some stamina. As the bride, have a more comfortable cocktail dress available to switch into for the latter part of the reception. It will also add some variety to your wedding photos.
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Alison Ince and Matthew Rogers were married April 9, 2011 in Rehoboth Beach. Video by A+ Video Productions
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Wedding dress details on the gown of Ashley Collins. Photo by Delmarva Portrait Designs
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Honeymoon how-to A
fter the thrill of wedding festivities dies down, couples often jet off to a honeymoon retreat and begin an entirely different adventure. The honeymoon may create mixed feelings, some concerning the chance to spend time alone after months of planning and a few feelings of anxiety over spending the first night together as a married couple. For many couples, the honeymoon wedding night is the first time they are intimate together or it holds a special meaning of being intimate for the first time after being married. Such significance can put pressure on a happy and natural experience. Wedding jitters are normal, as are honeymoon and wedding night jitters. But just as wedding trends have changed through the years, so, too, have beliefs about the wedding night. Knowing about shifting trends can alleviate some of the nervousness. According to a recent survey from Brides magazine, one in three brides 20
plan to get into bed on the wedding night and ... sleep. After all of the hoopla of planning and enjoying the wedding, most people are exhausted. Others say they plan to stay up and relive moments of the day. Only about half of all couples think they will consummate the marriage on their wedding night. Taking the pressure off of the wedding night means that the rest of the honeymoon may be filled with opportunities to be amorous. But couples may still be filled with expectations for the perfect romantic retreat. Here are some things to think about. • Accept the fact that some wedding nights and honeymoons aren't exactly what's pictured in the movies. Don't try to live up to a Hollywoodinspired ideal or you may be let down when things don't go your way. In other words, it may rain on your beachside liaison. • A wedding requires a lot of work. Many people find themselves
to be physically exhausted afterward. Others find they are so wound up that they cannot relax. When the mind or body is on adrenaline overload or completely wiped out, it's not the ideal situation for romantic endeavors. • Try to make the honeymoon stand apart from other nights by packing nice lingerie or nighttime attire so that the memories will be special. There will be plenty of other times down the road when you're an old, married couple to hop between the sheets in a ratty college T-shirt. • Pack some candles and mood music, or ask the resort to handle these details for you. These items can help set the scene. • Make sure your packing list includes special toiletries and birth control methods if you're not ready to start a family so soon after being married. The brands you prefer may be hard to acquire while at some honeymoon locations.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Navigating an interfaith wedding Faith plays an important role in many people's lives, perhaps even more so when it comes time to celebrate a wedding. However, couples who do not share the same faith may have to make some compromises. Although romantic feelings may transcend faith, heritage and other factors that make people so different, individuals who are quite religious often find that there are some challenges to getting married to someone outside their own faith. Depending on the faith, some religions will not honor a wedding that does not conform to their strict guidelines for a wedding within the faith. Oftentimes, this means that both participants need to have been raised according to the faith, including meeting certain religious milestones throughout their lives. For example, Catholics must have been baptised, received communion and
been confirmed under the auspices of the Catholic church before being allowed to marry. They must present official certificates of these sacraments in order to receive a religious Catholic wedding. Those of the Jewish faith may believe in a "bashert," a belief that everyone has a soul mate. According to the Talmud, 40 days before a male child is conceived a voice from heaven announces whose daughter he is going to marry. In Yiddish, this perfect match is called "bashert," a word meaning fate or destiny. The bashert is typically one who is also Jewish. To handle the intricacies of an interfaith marriage, it is wise to speak to clergy in your respective religions to see what will be required of you as a couple. There could be workarounds, depending on what the couple decide. Some couples feel it is in their
best interest if either one of them converts to the other's religion so that the ceremony is easier. Others choose to hold two distinct religious ceremonies if the officiants are lenient in their rules to allow it to happen. In other cases, couples feel it is better to have a non-denominational wedding to avoid any obstacles. Even though this ceremony will not be sanctioned by either church, the couple can still choose to include prayers and customs specific to their faiths in the ceremony. Many couples decide that their mutual love and happiness is reason enough for an interfaith wedding, even if that means sacrificing acceptance by their clergy and church. Interfaith couples should begin wedding planning early to discover what will be expected of them to have the wedding they desire.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Feed on these wedding favor ideas Do you have a shelf or cabinet that's filled to the brim with wedding favors such as engraved ice cream scoopers, cake servers, cheese spreaders or tea light candle holders? If you do, you're not alone. As couples pore over guest favor options, many select trinkets or knickknacks that, while thoughtful, end up collecting dust in someone's home. Edible gifts also can be thoughtful -- and flavorful! Guests may look forward to an edible favor because it's a memento of the special occasion and it won't become a permanent fixture in their homes. There are many edible favors from which to choose. They can also be customized according to the theme of the wedding.
Chocolate It's difficult to find an edible favor more universally beloved than chocolate. Rich and inviting, chocolate has long been given as a symbol of love and devotion. Chocolate candies and baked goods can work well for wedding favors, provided the favors are 22
refrigerated to avoid melting. Ideas for chocolate favors include individually packaged truffles, gourmet brownie bites, candy-covered chocolates with an inscription, chocolate covered apples, chocolate coins, and other similar creations. Chocolate molded designs (much like those chocolate Easter bunnies) are another idea.
Cookies Sweet cookies also make good edible favors. Butter cookies are a favorite because they are sturdy enough to cut into different shapes. Professionally iced, these cookies can be a masterpiece to behold. Some couples opt for customized fortune cookies that express personalized sentiments to guests.
Make-your-own Sometimes it's less expensive to give guests kits that they can take home to create their own edible treasures. Options abound and can include everything from personalized
packets of hot chocolate to tea bags. Other couples choose among mixes for making cookies or cakes.
Candies It has become popular to have a self-serve candy bar at many weddings. Guests are invited to step up to the display and serve themselves from a series of different confections. Autumn weddings could have Halloween-inspired candies or those in fall hues. It's easy to follow a color theme when you have a bevy of different candies at your disposal. Many discount stores sell inexpensive jars and candy dishes to house the candy. Designer Chinese takeout-type containers are available from craft stores and can be the perfect way for guests to make that candy portable.
Other edibles From cupcakes to maple syrup to personalized bottles of barbecue sauce, couples have so many options for guest favors at their disposal.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
First dance song ideas If Michael Buble or Nat King Cole aren't on your playlists, chances are you may be looking for a firstdance song that's a little less traditional for your wedding reception. Couples considering a song that's a little different and speaks to them but won't necessarily offend the wedding purists in attendance, might want to consider the following tunes: "Someone Like You" (Van Morrison) "Moon River" (Andy Williams) "Turn Your Lights Down Low" (Bob Marley and the Wailers) "Crazy for You" (Adele) "By Your Side" (Sade) "What a Wonderful World" (Louis Armstrong)
Shannon and Olaf van Yperen were married at Addy-Sea, Bethany Beach. Photo by Hilltop Studios
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The wedding party of Bo and Khristina Passwaters McDowell ham it up for the groom. Photos by Hilltop Studios
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Origins of bridal customs Chances are those who have attended a wedding have witnessed some popular traditions take place. The bride wears a veil, a court of wedding attendants accompanies the bride and groom, and birdseed, rice or flower petals are tossed. But have you ever wondered why? The wedding customs are ripe with tradition and harken back to days when superstition and myth often ruled the day. • Throwing rice: Today it has become de rigueur to blow bubbles, toss birdseed or release doves when the bride and groom leave the house of worship newly betrothed. That's because savvy individuals found that raw rice can pose a hazard to birds pecking in the area. However, rice throwing is an old custom that dates back to the Middle Ages, when wheat or rice where thrown to symbolize fertility for the couple. • Bouquet: Nowadays, the bride carries a beautiful bouquet of flowers. But the purpose of the bouquet held different meanings in the past. Saracen brides carried orange blossoms for fertility. Others carried a combination of herbs and flowers to ward off evil spirits with their aroma. Bouquets of dill were often carried, again for fertility reasons, and after the ceremony, the dill was eaten to encourage lust. • Bridesmaids: There may be arguments over dresses and how many bridesmaids to have in a wedding party now, but in ancient times it was "the more the merrier." That's because bridesmaids were another measure to keep the bride safe against evil spirits. Essentially the bridesmaids were decoys for the spirits -- dressing like the bride to confuse the spirits or maybe help deter them to leave the bride be. • Wedding rings: Wearing of wedding rings dates back to ancient Egypt. The round shape of a ring symbolizes eternal love. The ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because it is believed this finger has a blood vessel that goes directly to the heart. • Wedding cake: The traditional wedding cake evolved from Roman times when the cake was originally made from wheat. It was broken over the bride's head to ensure fertility. All of the guests eat a piece for good luck. Single women used to place a piece of wedding cake under their pillows in the hopes of finding their own husbands.
• Father accompanying the bride: This tradition symbolizes that the bride's father endorses the choice in husbands and is presenting his daughter as a pure bride to that man. • Kissing the bride: In older times, a kiss symbolized a legal bond. Therefore, the bride and groom kissed to seal the deal on their betrothal. There are many traditions surrounding a wedding that people simply accept. But understanding their origins can make the ceremony more meaningful.
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Jessica and Jim Eriksen were married at Bordeleau Vineyard in Eden, Md. on October 22, 2011. Photo by Ginger Springer Photography
Coloring the wedding Choosing a hue for the bridesmaid gowns
B
ridesmaids are an important part of the wedding party, and most brides opt to have a handful of close friends and family members play a special role in the wedding. Choosing a gown and a color that will flatter all of the bridesmaids typically takes a little work. An overwhelming majority of couples choose to have a formal wedding. The average number of bridesmaids for these formal weddings is four. Considering around two million weddings take place in North America every year, that's a lot of bridesmaids for whom gowns and other attire must be planned. Many bridesmaids worry about 26
the gowns they will wear come the big day. Horrible bridesmaid dresses have been the butt of jokes for years, and many people have their own stories of garish gowns they've been asked to don for a wedding. Some have said that brides intentionally choose ugly gowns for their bridesmaids to ensure they're not outshined come the wedding day. Although this may be the case for some, most brides aspire to select gowns that will be flattering for all. And color scheme is integral in the choice of gown. Every well-planned wedding carries a color scheme throughout. This includes the color a bride selects for
her bridesmaids to wear. But not every color accentuates everyone's features. Therefore, some experimentation might be necessary to find a color that is flattering to all and fits with the color scheme. Depending on hair color and skin shade, there are many flattering hues available for gowns. When making this decision, consider bridesmaids' ethnicity and skin tone. African-American:Women with dark skin and hair may really shine in jewel-colored gowns, including silver, gold, purple and salmon. Very pale colors may be daring and conspicuous. Asian and olive-skinned women:
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Those with a slight yellow tone to their skin will look good in many colors, including red, navy, peach, and fuchsia. However, avoid colors in light yellow, aqua, gray, taupe, or mint, which may make the bridesmaid look washed out. Fair skin:Ladies with pale skin will benefit from richly colored gowns in jewel tones. Pastels may work, but be careful about those depending on hair color. Pink or red-hued gowns may clash with someone with auburn hair. Yellow and green may not work with a fair brunette. Gray and silver may wash out someone who is pale and blonde. Once a color is chosen, brides also need to consider the season. Certain colors may look out of place depending on the season. For example, an evergreen or deep blue may seem wintry during a summer wedding. Similarly, russet or brown may work for the autumn but not for a spring wedding.
Many brides gravitate toward mid-level blues, greens, pinks and purples for their weddings, simply because those colors transcend the seasons. After colors are worked out, the style of the gown deserves consideration. Because not every bridesmaid has the same physical attributes, many brides are now open to selecting a color and length and allowing the bridesmaid herself to choose the exact style. This way someone who is busty won't feel uncomfortable in strapless, and someone who is thin won't be overwhelmed by a lot of ruffles. The intent is to have bridesmaids feel beautiful and comfortable, and different styles can help achieve this. Making the effort to choose a gown color and style that is flattering to all in the bridal party will help the ladies feel they are truly a special part of the wedding.
Ashley Thompson married Matt Hill at Heritage Shores in Bridgeville on September 9, 2011. Photo by Ginger Springer Photography
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Wedding themes can add up to extra fun Every couple wants their wedding to be memorable. The goal of planning a wedding is to create an experience that everyone will remember for years to come. For some couples, a theme wedding is the best way to accomplish just that. When it comes time to select a theme, the day the wedding takes place may dictate the theme. For example, if the wedding takes place on Halloween, the ideas for the theme are easy. Many other couples choose a theme that highlights a specific interest or hobby or something that is dear to them. Here are some popular wedding themes. • Holiday: The Christmas season lends itself well to wedding planning. The colors (red, green, gold) are already established, and most churches and buildings are already decked out in holiday finery, cutting down on the amount of flowers and embellishments couples need. Because the holiday season is so busy and a popular time for socializing, couples who want to tie the knot during this time 28
of year should send save-the-date cards well in advance. Another option is to have a "Christmas in July" wedding, featuring the same holiday themes but without the hectic nature of the holiday season. • Vegas: Couples who want to tie the knot in Las Vegas but want to ensure all their loved ones can attend can recreate the magic of Vegas wherever they may be. Casinoinspired games and big buffet meals can make guests feel like they have stepped into a casino on the famed Vegas strip. In addition, an Elvis impersonator is essential to a Vegas wedding. • TV show: Some couples elevate certain television shows to cult status. Whether it's "Friends" or "Star Trek," popular television shows have been transformed into festive wedding themes. Whether the idea is to go daring and exchange vows in costume or simply name reception tables according to characters or show locations, couples can include a little
television fun into the event. • Fairytale: Many men and women envision a fairytale wedding complete with horse-drawn carriage and the "happily ever after." This is what makes Disney properties as well as the various castles around the world popular backdrops for wedding events. Those planning a fairytale wedding need only look to favorite stories or movies for their inspiration. • Interest or passion: Love to climb mountains? Avid about scuba diving? Couples who share a particular interest can include elements of this sport or hobby into their wedding. Invitations and decor can hint at the theme, and then special activities can further enhance it. Fish bowls as centerpieces may call to mind underwater adventures, while surfboard-shaped invites may set the scene for a beachside party. Theme weddings can add an extra spice to the festivities and incorporate couples' interests into the event -- making it even more special.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Theo and Lindsey English Schilling share a special moment. Photo by Hilltop Studios
Wedding Day Folklore Brides and grooms believe in many old wives' tales, folklore and good luck charms to ensure a happy marriage. Here are just some of the wedding day superstitions.
• The English believe a spider found in a wedding dress is good luck. • A sugar cube in a bride's glove is believed to sweeten the union, according to Greeks. • The groom carries the bride over the threshhold to protect her from evil spirits below. • Saturday is considered the unluckiest day to marry, according to English tradition.
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Engagement photo tips Newly engaged couples choose to capture the occasion in photos that they can cherish. Often, one of these photos is used as an announcement to family and friends and might even be published in the newspaper. Engagement photos may be part of a package negotiated with the photographer who will be covering the wedding day. Some couples enlist the help of a friend or a budding photographer to capture an engagement shot. The average cost of engagement photos can range from $200 to $500. Some couples opt to use a photographer who might specialize in other areas but may want to break into the wedding biz because of how lucrative it can be. Costs may be negotiated as a result. When shopping around for a photographer, there are certain things couples should keep in mind. The first and most important is selecting a photographer you can relate to. If you don't feel a connection with the photographer, he or she will have trouble coaxing the shots that will produce the best results. He or she should also be a professional and have some experience working with posing couples. This way the photos don't look stiff or contrived. Here are some other tips that can lead to great photos. • Find a photographer who fits your style. If you're a quirky couple, go with a quirky photographer. If you're reserved and a follow-the-book type of couple, then select a more traditional photographer. Some photographers out there forget that this is your moment and want to impart their idea of what you want. Make sure he or she takes your ideas into consideration. • Select one who is open to different shoot locations and brainstorming. Some of the best photos occur in natural settings, where things aren't entirely planned. If a photographer simply works out of a studio, you may want to select one who has more free reign with different locales. • Choose your location wisely. Certain locations will stand out in your minds because they are visually stunning or are special places where you have spent moments as a couple. By choosing a place that offers a personal connection, there's a good chance you'll appreciate the photos in the long run. Also, be open to the fact that unplanned stops may offer a great background for the image. Be open to the unexpected. • Try random poses and some candid shots. Although you might have a vision of the perfect photo in your mind, experimenting with different ideas can sometimes lead to a great photo you really love. Expect to take your share of kissing, nose-touching and portrait shots. But some fun poses, such as running or jumping (or rolling around on a beach full of waves) can produce candid shots that are truly masterpieces. • Choose clothing that fits the mood. If time and bud30
Engagement photos don't have to be posed portraits. Experiment with looks that fit your personalities for memorable photos.
get allows, have several different wardrobe changes so that you can see which outfits work and which ones don't. A formal outfit, comfortable street clothes, something beachy or clothing that fits with your interests can make for interesting engagement photos. Avoid clothing that is too trendy or busy, which may take away from the actual images in the long run. Plus, you don't want to look back at these photos in the future and say, "What was I thinking?" Avoid matchy-matchy, though. If you are dressed alike, you may appear to be trying too hard. It's the individual personalities you want to shine through.
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Above and bottom left - Ashley Collins married Dorian Hoffman on October 8, 2011 at the Ross Mansion in Seaford. Photo by Delmarva Portrait Designs
Above - Father, James Young, giving away daughter, Luan, at Christ Lutheran Church, July 16, 2011. Photo by Delmarva Portrait Designs
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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Use cuisine to create a wedding to remember Despite the months of planning and poring over every minute detail of a wedding, it has often been said that what people remember most about wedding receptions is the food and if they had fun. Therefore, instead of worrying about choosing Jordan almonds over chocolate truffles, or whether the cake should have an extra tier, couples may want to pay more attention to selecting their reception menus. Although certain foods are wedding staples, it could pay for couples to think with their stomachs instead of their heads when selecting wedding day fare. Having a selection of foods that taste as good as they look is a wise idea over having certain foods simply because they are trendy. Whether you are cooking yourself, having a family member serve as chef or relying on the menu of the reception hall, think about foods that will please guests and select those items, regardless of them being fancy. Here are some other tips. * You want foods to be filling but not so much so that guests have to waddle to the dance floor. If you're planning on several courses, keep portion sizes small to offer a taste of 32
the different items offered. * Classic foods can work well as wedding fare. Roasts, barbecued meats and favorite pasta dishes can make guests feel like they're dining at someone's home and not at a wedding. * Choose items people have heard of. Instead of tornadoes of beef, select a hearty prime rib. Just because a dish sounds fancy doesn't make it taste better. If a guest doesn't know what he or she is eating, it can be uncomfortable. Now is not the time to experiment with exotic foods, either. Otherwise, some picky eaters may be left hungry. * Think about the foods you love and see if they can be incorporated at the wedding. Although a breakfast bar at an evening event may seem funny, waffles and omelets may appeal to a greater number of guests than a gourmet fish creation. * Don't make vegetarians an afterthought. Too often, vegetarians must eat whatever the kitchen can pull together, which is usually a compilation of the vegetable garnishes from the meat dishes. Make an effort to have a true vegetarian dish that is intricate and delicious.
* Mashed potatoes are a crowd pleaser. Serve little portions of mashed potatoes in cocktail glasses and enable guests to top as they see fit with bacon bits, cheese or chives. * No idea is silly, and serving any type of food in a hors d'oeuvre style can make it acceptable at a formal affair, whether that food is pizza or caviar-topped crackers. * If you have a favorite restaurant that serves delicious food, find out if they will cater your wedding. * Just because it isn't on the menu doesn't mean it cannot be prepared. Talk to the catering manager and let him or her know your preferences. Provided you're willing to pay a little more, there's a good chance you can have items that aren't on the standard catering menu. * Think outside the box for your cocktail hour "bars." A bread bar, a dipping station, milk and cookies service, or vegetable bar are options that go against the standard cheese and pasta stations. Although it's your wedding, ultimately the goal is to please the guests. By choosing foods they will love, you're guaranteed positive remarks on your wedding.
Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
Juleeann Liswell and Matthew Schlitter were married June 25, 2011 in Dover. Video by A+ Video Productions
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www.BartonsGrandRental.com
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Morning Star Publications | 2012 Wedding Planner
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