Beloved, A Song of Longing
Dr. Gregory T. Lawton 1
Beloved, A Song of Longing, Copyright 2018 Dr. Gregory T. Lawton All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without written permission from Gregory T. Lawton. Muyblue Productions 2040 Raybrook SE, Suite 104 Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546
Writing, Photography and Design – Dr. Gregory T. Lawton ii
Dedication In the dedication of every book that I have written I have always attempted to recognize those friends, family members, and teachers who have given me love and guidance. I cannot open my mouth to speak, and I cannot put a pen to paper, without feeling a deep sense of gratitude to those who have brought love and light into my life. Foremost of these special souls in my life are my dearest wife Ginny, and my precious daughters Megan and Jaime. I was taught to have great respect for my teachers. I am blessed to have had several remarkable people in my life who selflessly shared their abilities and wisdom with me. These teachers showed me a different path and a different way to peacefully move through life as a servant of humankind. These special souls included Professor Huo Chi-Kwang, Dr. James Schleichert, Joan Laird, and Mr. Zikru’llah Khadem. I will never forget my debt to them.
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"All Art is a gift of the Holy Spirit. When this light shines through the mind of a musician, it manifests itself in beautiful harmonies. Again, shining through the mind of a poet, it is seen in fine poetry and poetic prose. When the Light of the Sun of Truth inspires the mind of a painter, he produces marvelous pictures. These gifts are fulfilling their highest purpose, when showing forth the praise of God." 'Abdu'l-Bahá “I do not claim to be a poet! My poor verses are less than scrap of bread. I do not seek approval, I do not hide from condemnation – these are both without value to me. My ability and poetry can be placed into a single cup…. If the wine does not flow from the Beloved’s hand, I will not partake of a single drop of it!” Jalāl ad-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī
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Preface It is difficult for me to think of myself as a poet, especially a poet in the spiritual or mystic tradition. I do not understand how I got here, as it was never my intention or goal. The process of writing poetry and prose has been a natural progression for me that first originated in my teaching classes on tai chi chuan and the healing arts. These words sprung effortlessly from my desire to move the minds and touch the hearts and the souls of my students. I do not know how I became so blessed in my life as to have so many sincere students who have honored me with their attention.
If it was not for the inspiration, and breathing in deeply of the words, of Bahá’u’lláh, 'Abdu'l-Bahá, and Rūmī, I would not be able to write a single word. In my “process” of writing I consult with these three masters, and I listen carefully to the peaceful voice of my soul. Dr. Gregory T. Lawton March 21, 2018
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Introduction This simple book, if it can be called a book, of nineteen poems was written during the Baha’i nineteen day fast of 2018 (174 B.E.). Prior to this and over the course of my forty-eight years as a Baha’i, it had never occurred to me to use this very special time of the Baha’i year, and the powerful spiritual forces that it releases, to write. How sad, that it has taken me so long to come to this realization. I readily admit that my progression and growth as a Baha’i has been a slow and at times painful process. The idea for this “book” of nineteen poems to the Beloved came to me on the first day of the Baha’i fast when I reread one of my older poems, The Pearl, and realized that the theme and construction of The Pearl would be an ideal vehicle for a series of poems, one written on each day of the Baha’i nineteen day fast. Thus, began this work. On many days during the fast, tired and weighted down by many issues and complexities, I ended the day not knowing if I would be able to write anything of value. The Beloved, is Bahá’u’lláh, and I would offer that throughout the history of mystic and spiritual poetry the Beloved has always been, Bahá’u’lláh. Someday, humanity will come to realize this…. It is always my goal in writing to comply with Bahá’u’lláh’s statement, “The essence of faith is fewness of words and abundance of deeds….” so, I attempt in my writing to say as much as possible in as few words as possible. Within each poem you will find verses from Bahá’u’lláh in quotes. Most of these quotes have been taken from Bahá’u’lláh’s book The Hidden Words.
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The Pearl Beloved, there are no memories in a shell, the shell is just a castaway, the treasure is the pearl. Polish the pearl and lose its luster that is the mystery of a pearl, its light is from within. “Ye are My treasury, for in you I have treasured the pearls of My mysteries…” Dive into the depths of me, and you will discover that I would sacrifice my shell that you might have my pearl.
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The Light Beloved, the lamp is not the light, the lamp is just the receptacle that holds the flame within. A mere spark excites a lustrous beam this is the secret of the Light, that no globe can contain it. “I have made death a messenger of joy to thee. Wherefore dost thou grieve? I made the light to shed on thee its splendor. Why dost thou veil thyself therefrom?� Open your eyes to behold this light and you will see in all things a ray more luminous and radiant than any sun you have ever seen. 2
The Breath Beloved, this breath is not yours, you hold it but a moment, then release it to the wind. You may blow where you will where you go from here only poets, saints and prophets know. “I have breathed within thee a breath of My own Spirit, that thou mayest be My lover. Why hast thou forsaken Me and sought a beloved other than Me?� My heart encompasses a tempest whose winds circle around the center of a love inspired by an eternal inspiration, now I breathe in two worlds.
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The Face Beloved, the face you see in the mirror is not you, it is only a costume mask you wear that hides your true identity. Gaze to your hearts content into the mirror of self, you will never find your true self there. “A pure heart is as a mirror; cleanse it with the burnish of love and severance from all save God, that the true sun may shine within it and the eternal morning dawn.� How strange that a piece of glass deceives you so, and a thin curtain separates you from truth. To the pure hearted a mirror is a window unto the face of the most luminous countenance.
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The Drop Beloved, look closely and you will discover an ocean in drop and a sun in an atom, is it seemly to think you are any less amazing? Search the immensity of space forever you will find yourself further from the truth than you would be from a single moment of humility. “With the hands of power I made thee and with the fingers of strength I created thee; and within thee have I placed the essence of My light.� You are woven from the fabric of the universe, its threading lights are sewn into your soul, you only need to open your heart to behold the glory within.
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The Temple Beloved, you are a living temple, but if a temple does not possess love, it is not a temple at all, it is a sepulcher. In whatever form love may appear I will kneel and worship it, I never know what attire my love may wear. “The temple of being is My throne; cleanse it of all things, that there I may be established and there I may abide.� I am tearing myself down brick by brick, stone by stone, wall by wall, I am setting the forms for new doors and windows, so, it may not be said that I left standing any barriers to love.
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The Name Beloved, have your ears heard this most beautiful melody, has your nose smelled the perfumed scent of these fresh blossoms, have your eyes feasted on the watercolors of this virgin world? The old earth is cracking and crumbling fissured and ripped apart by voices of hate and confusion, now from the silence comes a message of peace. “From the sweet-scented streams of Thine eternity give me to drink, O my God, and of the fruits of the tree of Thy being enable me to taste, O my Hope! From the crystal springs of Thy love suffer me to quaff, O my Glory, and beneath the shadow of Thine everlasting providence let me abide, O my Light.” All that is required to receive this gift, to hear this melody, to smell this perfume, to see…, is to look at the invitation written across your heart, it is a single word, it is the Greatest Name. 7
The Fire Beloved, it is the nature of fire to burn, as it is your nature to blaze forth, only heat will raise you up. Fire offers wood the gift of salvation without fire wood would simply rot, sacrifice yourself to the flame and ignite the spirit of love. “If he be kindled with the fire of His love, if he forgoeth all created things, the words he uttereth shall set on fire them that hear him.” O’ Fire, take my hand and race beside me, inflame my heart and sear my soul, burn away all my earthly limitations, even in the heart of the sun, this love still burns me.
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The Word Beloved, letter by letter, word by word, I tattoo these verses across my skin in hope I will become more beautiful to you. I do as bidden and sing the songs I hear with no thought whether to flatter or offend, the rose may entice, but its thorn may prick.... “In the Rose Garden of changeless splendor a Flower hath begun to bloom, compared to which every other flower is but a thorn, and before the brightness of Whose glory the very essence of beauty must pale and wither.� In this new born age of awe and power words are dressed in elegant attire and finery, every letter is a king and every syllable a queen, all things bow low before the Glory of the Word. 9
The Veil Beloved, I write you this tender love letter with the hope a gentle breeze of certitude will awaken you as it moves through your hair. The earth turns and deep night falls but it is not the sky that conceals the sun, we weave the fabric of our own veils. “Burn ye away the veils with the fire of My love, and dispel ye the mists of vain imaginings by the power of this Name....� The early morning birdsong is a sure testimony to these words, if you have been given wings, use them and if you are a beam of luminous light, shine, be the radiant ray of incandescent energy you are, be love.
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The Prison Beloved, I see you too are trapped inside yourself unable to escape the walls of self, but I know this, where there is a door and a lock, there must be a key. Whatever the walls are that separates I from you I know I will not rest until I have torn them down, or perhaps covered them in a calligraphy of prayer. “Thou hearest Thine ardent lovers lamenting in their separation from Thee, and such as have recognized Thee wailing because of their remoteness from Thy presence. Open Thou outwardly to their faces, O my Lord, the gates of Thy grace....� I don’t understand why I am in this prison, someone sentenced me and placed me here, as soon as they unlock and open the door they will find me holding the other key. 11
The Gift Beloved, the skin of love is so tender, it transforms in the light to a gift too profound to name. I think of it as a dancing flame lovingly ignited by the hand of God and impossible to extinguish. “From each and every revelation emanating from the Source of His glory, holy and never-ending evidences of unimaginable splendor have appeared, and out of every manifestation of His invincible power oceans of eternal light have outpoured.� This gift you have generously bestowed upon me, what do I call it, is there a splendor greater than love, it is not flesh, nor soul, nor light or love, it is majestic, a gift too profound to name.... 12
The Whisper Beloved, I felt your warm breath on my ear and the sighing of your hair against my skin, when you leave me, don’t leave anything behind. Use up every drop of yourself, every particle make the wind jealous and rob it of your dust, Burn away even the incense of your scent. “Whither can a lover go but to the land of his beloved? and what seeker findeth rest away from his heart’s desire? To the true lover reunion is life, and separation is death. A myriad lives he would forsake to hasten to the abode of his beloved.” You owe nothing to this place, your debt here has been redeemed. Seduced by the perfume of His love, depart here without a trace, not even a whisper. 13
The Secret Beloved, where can I send these words I write, it seems I have forgotten how to reach you, but I need to tell you a secret. I know that you are searching for yourself but maybe you are looking in clouded glass, for what only appears in a polished diamond. “Ye are My treasury, for in you I have treasured the pearls of My mysteries and the gems of My knowledge.� This secret, can only be shared with you, no other soul can bear it, until your heart receives My letter, you will remain lost, in utter separation.
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The Wave Beloved, at dawn, while you are buried in sleep a wave of Supreme Consciousness passes over you, and finds you lost in languorous dreams. Does the wave taste the salt? these waves are the words of this sea, savor their meaning, bathe in their light. “Many a day hath passed over thee whilst thou hast busied thyself with thy fancies and idle imaginings. How long art thou to slumber on thy bed? Lift up thy head from slumber....” The sprinklings of the “Cloud Beyond All Being.” have rained translucent drops of purity upon you, It’s sensual rivulets of light undulate across your skin, awaken, awaken my love, before the dawning light, passes by....
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The Mist Beloved, as you lay quietly sleeping, I lightly brushed your hair from your face, fearful that I might awaken you. Your breathing was a song like the wind whose sweet fragrance permeated my heart, quenching my thirst with the wine of astonishment. “Take from the hands of the divine Cupbearer the chalice of immortal life, that all wisdom may be thine, and that thou mayest hearken unto the mystic voice calling from the realm of the invisible.� The nightingale sings its song of mystic knowing, from behind the veil of the cloud of unknowing, mist melting into misty light, soul merging into radiant soul, love extinguishing itself in the molten furnace of absolute love.
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The Desert Beloved, if I was lying in the desert dying of thirst would you offer me the water of life, would you press your lips to mine and restore me? From the sweet spring water of your mouth my endless drought of separation is satiated, you are a stream in the desert whose flow is life. “Free thyself from the fetters of this world, and loose thy soul from the prison of self. Seize thy chance, for it will come to thee no more. This is the river of everlasting life that hath flowed from the wellspring of the pen of the merciful; well is it with them that drink.� I am seized by silence in the desert of the unknown, where all my desires melt away in the fevered heat. Freed from the mirage of self I am left with only one need, to gaze deeply into your soulful eyes, and never blink. 17
The House Beloved, I looked in the mirror but it was your face I saw before me, I closed my eyes, but your face remained. I opened my heart and your light shown forth I opened my mouth and it was your voice that spoke, this is death, to die for love, to live only in love. “There is no peace for thee save by renouncing thyself and turning unto Me; for it behooveth thee to glory in My name, not in thine own; to put thy trust in Me and not in thyself....� Yesterday, my passion was myself, today I see I was sorely mistaken. I must move my possessions out of this house so that the Landlord can move His in.
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The Song Beloved, I am singing a song of longing, Whose melody flows freely from my soul and causes my heart to weep. Lift your wings from the dust of this netherworld and soar to the hidden city in the land of radiant glory, sacrifice your feathers to the sun, so the Phoenix may arise. “O immortal phoenix! Dwell not save on the mount of faithfulness. Therein is thy habitation, if on the wings of thy soul thou soarest to the realm of the infinite and seekest to attain thy goal.� This song is sung in the language of the birds, from the bowers of the rose garden of immortality. Love is the Rosetta Stone that translates this magnificent rhapsody into music for the soul, and the mystical poetry of the Phoenix.
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“It is like this when I finish a poem I am visited by a great silence and I ask myself why it was, I ever thought to use language.” Jalāl ad-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī
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About the author Dr. Gregory T. Lawton is an author of many books, most of them in the area of health science, but also in the genre of Asian martial arts, philosophy, poetry, and prose. Dr. Lawton is a passionate award-winning artist and photographer who finds his artistic and creative inspiration in nature, and who frequently attributes the source of his images and writing to the 19th century Persian Prophet, Bahá’u’lláh, the founder of the Baha’i Faith, and the 13th century Persian poet and Sufi Mystic Jalāl ad-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī. Dr. Lawton has been a member of the Baha’i Faith since 1970 and embraces the Faith’s principles related to the promotion of world unity and peace. Dr. Gregory T. Lawton has studied and trained in Asian religion, philosophy and martial arts such as Aikido, Jujitsu, Kenpo, and Tai Chi Chuan. Dr. Lawton’s main and most noted Asian martial art instructor was Professor Huo ChiKwang. Professor Huo was a renowned Chinese scholar, artist, and calligrapher who served as Taiwan's ambassador to the Vatican and France, and he was a friend of Pablo Picasso.
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Beloved, A Song of Longing Poems in the mystic tradition Beloved, A Song of Longing, Copyright 2018 Dr. Gregory T. Lawton Muyblue Productions 2040 Raybrook SE, Suite 104 Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546
Writing, Photography and Design – Dr. Gregory T. Lawton All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without written permission from Gregory T. Lawton. 22