The Silence Between Words
Dr. Gregory Lawton
The Silence Between Words
The Silence Between Words Dr. Gregory T. Lawton
The Silence Between Words, Copyright 2016, Revised 2019 Dr. Gregory T. Lawton All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without written permission from Gregory T. Lawton. Muyblue Productions 2040 Raybrook SE, Suite 104 Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546 616-464-0892 Writing, Photography and Design – Dr. Gregory T. Lawton
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The Silence Between Words Dedication In 2010, I rewrote and republished my book, Scent of a Forgotten Flower, which was first published in 1992. The words to follow are the original dedication from my book, Scent of a Forgotten Flower. I find them more meaningful today than they were when I first wrote them in 1992. These words come to me like borrowed clothes, used and well worn. My debt is to all my teachers, Dr. James Schleichert, Mr. Dhikru’llah Khadem, Mrs. Joan Laird, and Professor Chi-Kwang Huo. I dedicate these thoughts to Ginny, Megan, and Jaime who continue to teach me about love. I also dedicate this book to the memory of Steve Koziolek who passed away while I was starting to write this book. Steve was my oldest student of Tai Chi Chuan and Kosho Ryu Kenpo having studied with me for over twenty years, he was also an employee for the same period , and he was my friend. Steve was a lover and writer of poetry and he served as my editor for my health science, martial art, and poetry books.
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The Silence Between Words Foreword In 1992, I began work on a small book that I entitled, Scent of a Forgotten Flower. Scent of a Forgotten Flower is a book of prose that was written for my students as an attempt to transmit to them an understanding of some of the deeper concepts and philosophy contained within the esoteric martial and healing arts of Tai Chi Chuan, Dao Yin, and Chi Kung. In my book Scent of a Forgotten Flower, these arts were used as a metaphor for life and for a life dedicated to a lifetime of learning. This book, The Silence Between Words, is written in a different style, but for a similar purpose, and for a larger audience than I receive in my small and intimate Tai Chi Chuan classes at the Blue Heron Academy of Healing Arts and Sciences. The material that appears in this book has been gleaned from my collection of unpublished prose and poetry. They are pieces of creative work that I have written subsequent to my three other books of prose and poetry and that I wrote and posted on my Facebook page and my blog the Hollow Reed. In a sense, they are “castoff” writings that I wrote during moments of Dao Yin and meditation and that I “brushed” off myself as one would brush their hand across their knee in the Tai Chi movement, “Brush Knee and Twist Step”. Throughout the book I have sprinkled some of my photography and art.
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The Silence Between Words Scent of a Forgotten Flower, 1992 "Everything is Tai Chi. Every action, every thought, every interaction, and every dynamic between us. Our relationship is Tai Chi, yin and yang, and fire and water. Test me and I will yield and redirect you, challenge me and I will dissolve and disappear. Attack me and I will disarm you and send you away confused. Tai Chi begins in the mind and does not need a hand or foot to punctuate conflict."
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The Silence Between Words Introduction In 2013, after thirty years of commercial and health science writing, I completed my first book of poetry entitled, “Translated from a Foreign Tongue”. That book was quickly followed in 2014 by two more books, “Words Written in the Dust” and “Heartbeats from the Soul”. This book, “The Silence Between Words”, is a result of my effort to continue the conversation that I have been having with my martial arts students, especially my Tai Chi Chuan students, over the last four decades. That conversation began with a small book of philosophy, poetry and prose within which the martial art discipline of Tai Chi Chuan, as well as, Dao Yin and Chi Kung meditation was the vehicle for self-exploration and discovery. In this book, I am moving deeper into the “secrets” of Tai Chi Chuan as I have experienced them in my mindful and soulful practice of this art of flowing beauty. Tai Chi Chuan, Dao Yin, and Chi Kung are all forms of meditation. Dao Yin is a form of seated or recumbent meditation, and Chi Kung is a form of standing meditation. Tai Chi Chuan is a form of moving meditation and in my personal and private practice of Tai Chi Chuan I have learned to travel deep within and to commune with my soul. The works of poetry and prose presented in this book have all resulted from moments of contemplation while engaged in the practice of Dao Yin, Chi Kung, and/or Tai Chi Chuan. My approach to Tai Chi Chuan, Dao Yin, and Chi Kung is holistic in that I attempt to invest as much, if not more, hard work (Chi Kung) into the spiritual dimensions of Tai Chi as I do into its mental/emotional and physical aspects. In my book, “Scent of a Forgotten Flower” I wrote, “Dawn to dawn, day to day, seek to forge the sword of your soul in the heat and cold of constant training. Strive to polish the blade to a mirror like finish with the burnish of daily life. When you feel dull and blunted return to your center, train harder, and raise a mighty cry to summon divine assistance to your aid.” I have always sought to find the spiritual path within the practice of the martial arts and in Tai Chi Chuan, Dao Yin, and Chi Kung I have found the perfect vehicle for that practice. I have been teaching my students this combination of martial arts training, contemplative meditation, and creative and artistic expression for several decades but recently in my classes I have talked about the journey we can take to find the authentic voice within us and how we can use that voice, through the practice of Tai Chi Chuan, Dao Yin, and Chi Kung, and the medium of the v
The Silence Between Words creative arts, to discover and to share spiritual truths in a manner that is gentle and loving, and in a way that does not offend the hearts of others and in fact, increases the receptivity of others to truth. I call this path, “Giving Voice to Truth”. My Tai Chi Chuan teacher, Professor Huo Chi-Kwang, was a renowned Chinese scholar, artist, and calligrapher who served as Taiwan's ambassador to France and the Vatican, and he was a friend of Pablo Picasso. He has served as both my mentor and my model along this path. Rumi said, “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” I say, “In the silence between words and the space between movement, there is a still point, I will meet you there. When one soul meets another there, there is only beauty, and there is only peace.” 'Abdu'l-Bahá, one of the foremost thinkers and spiritual leaders of the late 19th and early 20th century, stated that, "All Art is a gift of the Holy Spirit. When this light shines through the mind of a musician, it manifests itself in beautiful harmonies. Again, shining through the mind of a poet, it is seen in fine poetry and poetic prose. When the Light of the Sun of Truth inspires the mind of a painter, he produces marvelous pictures. These gifts are fulfilling their highest purpose, when showing forth the praise of God." A constant and recurring theme in my non-friction and creative writing since the 1970’s has been that the highest expression of any art, including the martial arts, and especially Tai Chi Chuan, is when shen (spirit) is reflected in the “dance” (wu). “Tai Chi is the essence that no cup can contain. If I understand Tai Chi as this or that, as martial art, exercise, medicine, or meditation, it is not this, but it contains these. Tai Chi, the Grand Ultimate cannot be measured, defined, or contained. I perceive it as a dance, Wu, and my spirit, SHEN, whirls and I call it SHEN WU or Spirit Dance.”
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The Silence Between Words Table of Contents: The Silence Between Words The Silence Between Words, Page One More Beautiful than Silence, Page Four Be Innocent in Heart, Page Seven I Must Breathe, Page Nine In Dreams, Page Thirteen On This New Day, Page Sixteen Prayers for Mending Clay, Page Eighteen Purity in Dry Places, Page Twenty The Blessing of Wind, Page Twenty-Three The Candle of the Soul, Page Twenty-Six The Sun and the Moon, Page Thirty The Sweetness of this Rain, Page Thirty-Three The Way of a Wild Crocus, Page Thirty-Six Hollows of the Heart, Page Thirty-Eight Just a Trace, Page Thirty-Nine Passing of the Columbines, Page Forty The Fasting Tree, Page Forty-Three The Royal Falcon, Page Forty-Five The Shores of Lightning, Page Forty-Nine The Whisper of God, Page Fifty-One A Moment Sacred to the Gift of Life, Page Fifty-Two Dancing with the Wind, Page Fifty-Four Communion, Page Fifty-Six Faith is a River, Page Fifty-Eight secretly, and in Private, Page Fifty-Nine A Cold River Flows, Page Sixty-Four Yellow Flower, Yellow Flower, Page Sixty-Seven Fly Across the Water, Page Sixty-Eight
When the Bird Sings a Song of Parting, Page Sixty-Nine Things Lost, but not Forgotten, Page Seventy-Two A Day Without Clouds, Page Seventy-Five The Desert Wind, Page Seventy-Eight Just This, Page Eighty-One The Soft Embrace of Air, Page Eighty-Two The Story of the Poet, Page Eighty-Four The Sprinkles of a Soft Rain Fell Upon Me, Page Eighty-Seven The Open Door, Page Eighty-Nine Songs of Rest, Page Ninety-One Sprinklings of the Cloud of Unknowing, Page Ninety-Two The Light from the Eastern Sky, Page Ninety-Four All that Shall Remain, Page Ninety-Seven This Lonely Journey, Page Ninety-Nine Whither Can a Lover Go, Page One Hundred-Two The Sea of the Sleeping Souls, Page One Hundred-Five Whisper of the Lover, Page One Hundred-Six
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Cold Currents
The Silence Between Words The Silence Between Words How is it that when I lay in the comfort of your arms, And we are entwined like two ropes of a morning glory vine, I am cast away to a remote place of stillness. That moment before the arrow is released, When before the cut the sword moves mindlessly, When my body moves without thought. In that hanging place before the fall Of the apple from the tree. That indescribable juncture at the separation Of life and death when mortal time ends And the endless eternal begins. I am listening to the silence between words... It is only when you are standing still that you can Watch the world and the heavens go spinning by. It is when you sit out the dance That you truly hear the music and see the dancers spin.
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The Silence Between Words Come sit with me and pass the time away And let us float together between rain drops. I have come here to listen To the timeless suffering And the moaning and groaning of the rocks. To await the slow passing of clouds, And to endure the burning heat of the sun. I have given up on thoughts of good and bad And placed my trust in silence. I believe that somewhere between the losses of yesterday And my hopes for tomorrow, lies fulfillment. But I see things clearer from a distance... It is the blank canvas that is full of possibilities, Not the finished work. It is what I do not do, The work that I leave undone, That will define my future.
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The Silence Between Words I find enlightenment in the silence between words, In that which is unspoken and unwritten - and untouched. And I have come to understand that in death I will be divorced from silence, and married to love.
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The Silence Between Words More Beautiful than Silence I write these words In hope that they are More beautiful than silence. That they are lotus seeds Cast in the soil of rebirth. That they are pure pearls Strung on strands of silk And garlanded around your heart. These words are whispered Quietly within me By the breath of my soul, And softly echo through The chambers of my heart To find release In this poet’s song. This is a language Unknown and unspoken That speaks of promises, Ancient and unbroken.
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The Silence Between Words "In the Rose garden of changeless splendor A flower hath begun to bloom, Compared to which every other flower Is but a thorn..." Inhale the scented sweetness Of this incorruptible flower, And invite its perfumed essence To enter, and to permeate your soul. I would speak to you Of your hearts deep peace And the endless waves Of love within you. I would speak to you Of the flagrant flower, Which does not need To boast of its beauty. I would whisper to you Words more beautiful Than silence… (Quote from the writings of Bahá’u’lláh) 5
The Silence Between Words
Bridgewater 6
The Silence Between Words Be Innocent in Heart The gentle rain washed my skin in innocence And lovingly combed its fingers though my hair. The leaves danced playfully with the wind As rain drops fell on every blade of grass And bent them to a greater will and purpose. This morning clouds moaned softly in the dawn And carried on their backs the burden of humility. The tender voices of the weeping sky sang lovingly Be innocent in heart, and as loving as a gentle rain, Be innocent in heart, and as free as the dancing leaves, Be innocent in heart, and as humble as the bending grass, Be innocent in heart, and as severed as the morning clouds, Be innocent in heart‌ This treasured morning is a mother’s day, Pregnant with love and life, And full to bursting of promise and nurture. The gift of this morning is a gift of mother’s love Unspeakably soft and gentle, but strong and enduring. 7
The Silence Between Words Carried on the uplifting wings of angels And delivered in the soft light and caressing moisture, Of a Mother’s Day.
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The Silence Between Words I Must Breathe Waking, I find myself at play Among the Dancing breezes Of the breathing field. Come, And join me In this riotous Celebration of breath. These words Are inspired by breath. These words Are shaped from within And are released In a sinuous form. That winds And twists Around my spine, Coiling and stretching, Expanding and contracting. 9
The Silence Between Words These words Are the conjugation Of motion and stillness And are joined In a sacred bond. Words born of breath Are the poetry Of self-expression. It is the voice of breath That unwinds The solemn mysteries within me. Set free, This vital breath From the cage of self. Push, This fetal breath From the diaphragm of separation. Loose my bones, From their sinews And let them Fall free 10
The Silence Between Words In a jumble At my feet, For I surrender To breath. Bend me, To the truth of myself. This out-breath Releases my Deepest secrets. This in-breath Bestows the gift Of life. I Breathe as if My life Depends upon it. But I remember That I cannot Hold on to it... I must Let it go. 11
The Silence Between Words I must Breathe...
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The Silence Between Words In Dreams I am reaching out to you in dreams In the way that a nursing mother cradles Her tender child to her bosom, And holds her to the warmth And flow of mother’s milk. I will never let you go, or fall, Or suffer you to coldness or harm, I will instead enfold you in my dreams And spirit you away. In sleep, my lucid dreams flow Sinuously on currents of scented air Though an obsidian sky And lovingly envelop you in warm moist clouds Draped with lacy wisps of luminous light. We truly exist in our peaceful dreams at night. We travel to the east, We travel to the west. We learn to love one another. We hold each other in a deep embrace.
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The Silence Between Words I fall asleep so that I can awaken to you And in my wakefulness, I am sleepwalking. But I am learning how to sift truthful dreams from false. The setting sun sinks over the horizon And rolls the canvas of the sky down with it. What is left is empty night Punctuated with the flickering sparks of dreams. Why light a blind man’s candle in the night, Or wear a blindfold to the sunrise? Guide the blind to the light of the ecstatic flame And there is no need for seeing eyes. Like a boat that has lost its rudder, That drifts with the currents of the sea, I flow to you in dreams.
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The Silence Between Words
Winter Rails 15
The Silence Between Words On This New Day Guide me home on this new day, The only room I want is in your heart. My feet are sore and cracked And my back is bent and broken. My eyes are red and weeping And my hair is the color of ash. Won't you lead me to your shelter And bandage my bleeding wounds? On this new day this broken winged bird Longs to be set free. On the morning of this new day, I am waiting for you to cast your light on me.
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Made by Hand 17
The Silence Between Words Prayers for Mending Clay All these walls made by earthly hands Will crack and crumble to the ground, And the sincere will find they have been Saying prayers for mending clay. Instead send your mending prayers To the howling wind and the driving rain, And beg the elements of earth to Cleanse your heart of clay.
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Crooked Tree 19
The Silence Between Words Purity in Dry Places The purest land is sand where the desert pulls up its roots And moves on the wind, and its whim. Here the mountains have sacrificed flesh to the wind, And bled garnets and tears of aquamarine. I seek the remoteness of a dry sea bed Where my soul may await the second coming of water. Water, in its secret life flows up from the earth And greets the sky in silent thunder. And the sky in its hidden passage of rivers of vapor Yields up its treasured gems of moisture. This desert spreads far and wide to greedily receive this gift, These precious diamonds scattered among piles of grit. A wandering soul, seeks the purity of dry places Reading riffles in the sand like ancient hieroglyphics. There is a message written in the sand And a story is told about the passage of time. 20
The Silence Between Words In the desert, a raindrop is a lover’s kiss, And it is just as fleeting. We are all wandering in this desert called time And sacrificing our flesh to the wind.
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Wind Carved 22
The Silence Between Words The Blessing of Wind Eons ago you were carved from the bones of the earth And you stood alone, resolute, and exposed to the elements. Time is a constant moment That ends only when forgotten. Like watching a leaf lifted by the wind And carried away until you can't see it any longer. You were clothed in solitude And you held your memories cupped in your hands As you patiently awaited the blessing of wind. You were delicately chiseled from stone As the wind found the weakness in you, And hollowed you out and shaped you, Leaving only virgin stone And wearing away the rotten stone. You have eroded to the truth within you. Now the wind caresses the scrim That drapes across your skin And rubs along the folds 23
The Silence Between Words And curves of your body. In the face of this eternal wind You are just a breath, or a whisper. In time, you are nothing more than grit and dust... This is the blessing of wind.
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One Candle 25
The Silence Between Words The Candle of the Soul Suffering is the match That lights the candle Of the soul And makes us all Burn brighter. Everyone's journey towards death Is a prayer The words of which Are a blessing to the hearer. I am blessed By the honesty of your pain, The purity of your suffering, And the wrenching sound Of the tearing of your soul From your flesh. How fragile is this light As it joins with shadows In the Danse Macabre. Your once bright flame Is flickering and fading 26
The Silence Between Words And hot waxen tears Have become cold and hardened Upon your face. The candle lit within your heart Has wept its life away, And shadows dance Across your naked body As your earthly light dims... The candle of the soul Is an eternal flame That does not flicker Nor fade. This light burns away The veils of earthly limitation And melts the tears of sorrow Streaming down The face of consolation. I am blessed By the honesty of your pain, The purity of your suffering, And the wrenching sound 27
The Silence Between Words Of the tearing of your soul From your flesh As I have been blessed To call you, my friend.
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Moonlight 29
The Silence Between Words The Sun and the Moon This night the naked white corpse of the moon Slowly drifts across the sea of night And flows in a languid River of sorrow That has been purified by my tears. In this cold moonlight My eyes weep And it is my compassion That makes of me a saint. You are my darkness, My weakness, A mirror of parts of myself, And I would carry you, I would hold you, I would protect you. But once given to birth Every mother’s child Will suffer the pain of separation And eventual death. You are from the sky And to the realm beyond 30
The Silence Between Words Have you returned. To "plunge into the sea of light In the world of mysteries." Every soul has its desire And your wish for death Is now an object realized, By your own hand... "To dust they shall all return, Denuded, Depressed, Disheartened, And in utter despair." Suffer this uninvited guest, Who has arrived at your door, To enter therein in peace and comfort And to find at last safe harbor From this storm. You are the sun light we are drawn to And like moths we circle your flame And our veils are burned away In the heat of your atmosphere. 31
The Silence Between Words We are stone cold and moons of dust And mere mirrors of your light. Draw this mirror to Thy face And bless him with Thy countenance, Embrace him with Thy mercy and pardon, And grant this new moon Thy eternal blessing of light. (Quotes from the writings of Bahá’u’lláh and 'Abdu'l-Bahá)
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The Silence Between Words The Sweetness of this Rain The winds of love are drifting my way again And carrying with them clouds of mystic wonder. God has awakened the sleeper within my breast And stirred up the mystic knower. Why you ask? You might as well try to penetrate the clouds of unknowing Or separate the scent from the magnolia flower. No common bee can sip the nectar of this flower Or taste the rapture of its intoxication. The pearl inside this oyster Is the treasure of your heart. This upturned face is a landscape for the falling rain And a horizon for the rising sun. The sun rises in my right hand and sets in my left And sprinkles mysteries like fireflies between them.
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The Silence Between Words No matter how dense or dark are the clouds The sun, the stars, and the moon shine above them. I rise upon a mere wisp of cloud and disappear Into the fog of a vaporous mist. As I sing... "Let me taste of the sweetness of this rain And I will swallow the seas."
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Fading Beauty 35
The Silence Between Words The Way of a Wild Crocus The wild crocus sings this song which Tells the tale of its baptism by the rain And the days when it laid in liminal peace. When the crocus speaks it says, "Masters, I have a story to tell Of loves aspects, and sadder still, Of separation, final and complete." Here I laid on the threshold of heaven Nestled against the breast of God Unawakened, unseen, and unfulfilled, When the south wind kissed my lips And awakened me from my deep slumber. Now in full bloom at last, I mourn my numbered days As I measure the passing of the sun across the sky And fear the inevitable reckoning of the reaper. But here at last, with lips spread wide and open, And my limbs fallen upon the ground, Do I welcome deaths withering touch upon my flesh.
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The Silence Between Words When my beauty fades, take me from the meadow And bear me home in your gentle hands, For when you too leave here, this heart will travel with you And my petals, like falling stars, will light upon your grave.
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The Silence Between Words Hollows of the Heart Would you hold me And lend me your warmth When I shiver in the cold. Would you guide me Like a windflower And bend me towards the sun. Would you lift me Out of the shadows And bathe me in the light. Would you lead me By the hand To a place within your heart. Would you lay me down Under the shade Of the weeping tree. Could you save me When I have lost myself In the hollows of my heart? 38
The Silence Between Words Just a Trace Lost in my dreams I was just drifting away, Dancing alone in the eye of a swirling storm And swimming naked in the riptide at dawn. Why hold a mirror to your face in a reflecting pond Or stand dumbstruck in the ripples of a liquid moon, When you can bathe in the light of this Holy Flame? His love wrapped around me like a chain And I set the lock and gave away the key. Some souls fall like rotten fruit from a lemon tree Unwanted and unpicked for their sour taste. Even bitter hearts contain the nectar of love And can be sweetened by a honeyed tongue. These written words are just a trace Of shadows moving across this page. Like summer clouds drifting above the blowing sand This truth is written in letters of the spirit Upon the human heart. 39
The Silence Between Words Passing of the Columbines I remember the dawning light Tripping over the glimmering Ripples of the river. I remember the morning dew Shining on the top of my shoes. I remember the love that surrounded you And the warmth that melted my heart. I remember when the streams would sing to me, When the rain would tag me and run away laughing, When the butterfly would gently kiss my face, I remember the beauty of the columbines. But the memory of those days has faded With the passing of the columbines... What happens when the path is long And the lonely traveler is lost On a trail without columbines To greet him and grace his way?
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The Silence Between Words Once my pack was full And my stride was long and strong. Once you blessed my steps with columbines But then you spirited them away. Eventually every traveler becomes wearied Longs to lay his burdens in the earth, And like a child will beg for the arms of his father To sweep him up, And to carry him home. I remember the passing of the columbines And their beauty fading in the night.
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The Fasting Tree 42
The Silence Between Words The Fasting Tree Patient in winter is the fasting tree Which stands stripped of its dignity, Its leaves ripped away by the wind, Its naked ribs shamefully embarrassed And etched darkly across the sky, Like the brittle bones of an old woman. When the skin sags, When the flesh wastes away, And the blood dries in the veins, All that is left is the soul. Falling to my knees before a wooded throne I lay my head on the mossy prayer mat at its feet And I offer reverent homage to the fasting tree, Who greets and calls upon me to offer myself in sacrifice. It cries out with shaking limbs "Who among you will give themselves To my needs by accepting my baptism; Not by water, not by fire, not by trial, But by slow degrees of separation from self?�
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The Silence Between Words Let me climb up upon this splintered cross, Drape my body across the fasting tree, And offer my flesh and my blood as a sacrifice To its roots, its branches, its stems, and its leaves. It was the hunger pangs of love That led me to this feast of sacrifice, Where my fasting soul, finally filled, Found its sustenance at Gods table. "O would that thou wert cut down in my name, and my body crucified upon thee." Bahรก'u'llรกh
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The Silence Between Words The Royal Falcon Once my home was in the wind And I thirsted for the sky. Where there was no water I drank the wind. Where there was no prey I tasted the air. I was a royal falcon And I soared through the heavens And left wind-currents of blessings in my wake. My wings flashed across the summer sky And my home was a palace That floated in an ocean of clouds. Rising I would pierce the vault, And tear the clouds into veils of lace. That was when you and I Were spirits passing in the night, In dreams before we awakened, With wings touching 45
The Silence Between Words In the dawning light. In an atmosphere of love We danced together in innocence. And like the flashing zephyr We sped across this celestial sphere. Spinning and turning, Our wings entwined, And our souls knitted together As one holy garment. I would carry you And lift you to the sun Where our tethered hearts would melt Into the molten heat of this New Day. This immortal phoenix would fall And burn in an eternal flame As a sacrifice to your love. Unpin this flaming heart, Unknot the jesses from my legs, Remove the blindfold from my eyes‌ Unleash me to the wind, 46
The Silence Between Words And I promise to return to you With treasures from the sky.
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Shores of Lightning 48
The Silence Between Words The Shores of Lightning Hush, and listen softly To the words of a crying soul. Shake the dust from off Your hair and shoulders And stop hiding what you are. Peace flows from the still waters Of a calm heart. Deep within you, you know this. Within you, you know that You can stop the violence By changing yourself. We can become the waves Of one sea, The drops of one ocean, And move together in harmony. Walking the shores of lightning Along all the paths that lead to light. 49
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Lone Walker 50
The Silence Between Words The Whisper of God This is my pilgrimage into a vast desert of snow. I worship the wind and the words the wind carries. This pilgrim follows the wind wherever it may blow. Before a majestic throne of ice this prisoner kneels And accepts the Holy Communion that the wind bestows. I never knew that the cold wind could cause such bitter pain. Or numb me into insensibility, or extinguish the spark within me. I cannot withstand the lash of the wind, or the sting of the freezing rain. My body shrinks before the cold and its icy fingers chill me to the bone. I have become a prisoner of the cold and in my cell of ice do I remain. This bitter wind has brought me humbled to my knees, And released from a chilled heart, its begging prayers. I see before me the path of release from this deadly freeze. The wind has carried to me the whisper of God And the certain knowledge that from the cold, forgiveness frees us. Forgiveness delivers the blow that shatters the ice that encases me And melts the frozen waves and carries the temperate currents, That once again begin to flow within the veins of this moving sea.
"Were it not for the cold, how would the heat of My words prevail..." In the wind, I hear the whispered words of God, they speak to me. (Quote from the writings of Bahá’u’lláh)
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The Silence Between Words A Moment Sacred to the Gift of Life This morning I bathed In the soft light of dawn, And my body was washed Clean and purified in a Moment sacred to the gift of life. Here I found my true voice, And when speech touched my heart Its love song was a gentle whisper of truth. It was a single precious ray of light That kissed my brow, Laid its hand upon my breast, And spoke these truthful words; "No works fashioned by the hand of man Can ever equal this beauty, This moment is sacred To the gift of life." Rivers of shame streamed from my eyes And flames of fire roared from my hair, But were lost in the ocean that is my soul.
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The Silence Between Words How could I, so poor a man, Ever hope to stand before the throne Of majesty, of awe and grandeur? Then grace fell upon me with the rain And all was forgotten, and all was forgiven‌ It was a moment sacred to the gift of life.
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The Silence Between Words Dancing with the Wind Let the spirit dance begin By breathing out and breathing in. I hold my destiny within my hand And enter a path that is called grand. Open then the door within By breathing out and breathing in. I cross the heavens in my search Just as a bird must leave its perch. Enter then the flowing wind By breathing out and breathing in. I reach to grasp the sparrow's tail And trace the air along this trail. Swim then through the abiding wind By breathing out and breathing in. I hang my arms in single whip And into eternity I gently slip. 54
The Silence Between Words Push then the clouds with the wind By breathing out and breathing in. I open my soul like a sail And set off to find a holy grail. I am not alone within the wind By breathing out and breathing in. So, let the spirit dance begin...
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The Silence Between Words Communion I wish to speak and a mouth appears, I wish to see and my eyes perceive, I wish to hear and my ears open, I wish to move and my thoughts carry me. I pray for light and radiance surrounds me. This is soul, and its reality. A breeze of tranquility passes over me, It is an ancient wind that touches me And envelopes me in love. This melody has reached my heart, It is an everlasting breath that enters my lungs And bestows upon me stillness. "Create in me a pure heart, O my God, And renew a tranquil conscience within me, O my Hope" True communion with the Beloved is sublime And separation is but pain... (Quote from the writings of Bahá’u’lláh) 56
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Faith is a River 57
The Silence Between Words Faith is a River Swim through the roiling currents of deep water That flow from that mystic place within you And allow your heart to be carried away By the eddies of a forgotten river. Offer yourself to the great receiving depths From which your soul is filled And sacrifice yourself to the waters Cupped within the shores of a forgotten river. Cast yourself into the tidal surge of the rising waves That fill you with the "pearls of pure and goodly issue" And give yourself over to that lost inland sea That courses within the channels of a forgotten river. Dive deeply into the undertow of the cold waters From which your spirit receives its quickening And quench your thirst in this holy gathering place Where the waters meet and faith is a river. (Quote from the writings of ‘Abdu’l-Bahá)
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The Silence Between Words Secretly, and in Private Beloved, I write these words To you secretly, and in private And I sing them to you From this cage That men call life. This is a song of parting And since I don't know when I am leaving here, I will say my farewell To you today. For how many are the ravaged lovers That have forgotten how near death does hover? These words are a pianist’s fingers, Meant to massage the heart And to bring forth the most Melodious music That makes even The stones to weep. I see no eyes that gaze upon your face And of ears that hear - there is not a trace. 59
The Silence Between Words I lust after your foot prints in the dust As I walk a path claimed for God's holy trust. How deep is this endless sea That has captured me... How tight is the golden noose That won't let me loose... I fear that our only bond Has solely been my need for you For what purpose does the sun Have for the moon, Or God for a god? I see you in clouds descend And no anti-Christ may pretend To wear this sacred crown And to prepare this earth For its bridal gown. O� then where have the true lovers gone? Can a sun be a Sun and not give light, And what of the moon on a cloudy night? Is a rose still a rose if it offers no smell, 60
The Silence Between Words Can it still cast a lover under its spell? A candle is just a stick without a flame, And a man without faith passes in shame. Before me I see the moving shadows of clouds As blind men promenade wearing funeral shrouds. And what of the earth if the dead call it home And are buried deep under its loam? So again, I ask, what of the lovers That wait on this earth, And what of their lives and their Unmeasured worth? Beloved, I write these words To you secretly and in private And I sing them to you From this cage That men call life. And since I don’t know when I am leaving here. This lover quietly moans‌ 61
The Silence Between Words “Abandon me not By the side of this grave.�
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Cold River 63
The Silence Between Words A Cold River Flows A cold river flows between my head and my heart And its icy currents are pulling me down into its depths, Where the dark waters chill me to the bone. I have heard the melody of your voice carried by the wind, But my faithless eyes are blind to your truth, And my steps slip and falter along this tortuous path. I learned to walk slowly in the snow, Placing each step carefully, one in front of the other. Staying in the shadows and quietly stalking my prey. This is how I first approached you, A merciless hunter, silent in the night, And ever patient in the waiting. I picked up diamonds and broke them with my hands. And watched the sparkling dust slip through my fingers And blow away on feathers of wind. A glittering frost has nested in my hair, Upon my eye lashes, and across my lips And written its poetry on my skin. 64
The Silence Between Words I have become silent and cold as the winter river, Asleep upon the river bed, And dark under its blanket of ice and snow. A cold river flows between my head and my heart, Its icy currents flood the deep spaces within me, And form the frozen frame that braces me against the storm.
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Daffodil in Snow 66
The Silence Between Words Yellow Flower, Yellow Flower I asked a yellow flower, "How can spring appear from ice and snow?" And the flower replied that it did not know, But that it instead trusted that it was so. And so, to the yellow flower I said, "Fall into my hand and I will warm you And ice and snow will become the wine Through which your radiant beauty will shine."
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The Silence Between Words Fly Across the Water The morning tide pulls me out to sea and washes me away. I would be lost and castaway if I did not have you to guide me. You have set the waves in motion and caused my heart to throb, And in currents and in eddies of blood this heart remains adrift. The majesty of an entire ocean is treasured within a drop of blood And the salty taste of my tears testifies of my kinship to the sea. Sail me away, sail me away, sail me away - far out upon the sea. Spread my sails, open me to the wind, and carry me far and free. O' my king, my Neptune, my memories of you have washed up on the shore of my dreams. In dreams, I open the sails of my soul and fly across your waters. Laughing, I kick green sea foam and sparkling spray against the stars. I plunge deep within you and breathe in these words of life "Know this my son, if you desire peace and happiness, You are the only impediment to change."
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The Silence Between Words When the Bird Sings a Song of Parting I found my voice in the ocean below And it bid me to carry these words to you And to greet you gently with murmurs of love. Lightning is followed by the rumbles of thunder And these thoughts are the flashes from within That hopefully become a solace in your time of need. This music is cast across the stones And skips brightly with the morning light Whose sparkling glint dances over the waves. Tambourines and the drumbeat of the surf Announce the arrival of the glorious sun As it decorates the sky in triumphant celebration. These words are newly born and tenderly spoken And they are handed carefully to you, From one generation to another. I deeply feel your sense of betrayal, pain, and loss, And I too have drunk from the bitter spring From which you drink a draught of despair. 69
The Silence Between Words Your love has left you... And walked away into the morning mist Leaving your heart in turmoil, and broken. You can stretch your arms to the sky But even the strongest hands Cannot hold what they do not possess. When the bird sings a song of parting No cage can hold its heart, Or contain its dreams of flight. I am crying out to you from the other side Beyond where blindness veils the unseeing eye, Or where coldness freezes the unfeeling heart. Here the air is transparent And the water is pure and crystal clear, And only truth may be spoken. There is nothing lower than a suffering heart That has been wounded by betrayal, Pain is the remedy where love has been denied. Sometimes love, like the sun, sets And night follows the brightest day, 70
The Silence Between Words As your love has rolled over the horizon. There are places to which there is no return. Where the shore has been wiped clean by the waves, And our footsteps have been erased. At such moments of personal loss Nothing remains to be done, But to light a candle and to place it in its niche. And to open the door of your heart, Because when the bird sings a song of parting, Set it free, and let it take to flight...
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The Silence Between Words Things Lost, but not Forgotten The memory of your voice Has awakened me from my sleep. Close the door again and pull down the shade So that I can return to my dreams of you. When I awoke I was crying and in pain, But then I discovered you lying next to me And I began to laugh as I realized That this is how I will die‌ In pieces torn from the book of life And scattered into the wind Only to reunite And to speak again. There is no end to the telling of this story. The tree may fall to the ax. Its branches burned in the fire, But its leaves move on. I once slept in the shade of clouds Protected from the burning rays of the sun. I was grateful to the sheltering clouds Until I realized that the sun was trying to dry my wings. 72
The Silence Between Words I would burn alive in the heat of my love for you But for the fear that the stain of my ashes would offend you. I would crawl deep into a hole and bury myself But I would miss the sweetness of your voice. I have seen your footsteps approaching my door But I had set the latch against intruders‌ Better that I had burned my house to the ground And waited naked and shivering in the cold. If you could spare me a candle, This poor soul would willingly acquiesce To the flickering whisper of the faintest of lights Simply to be in your presence. I have awakened to the memory of you, As I have remembered your parting words to me, And I have, perhaps, belatedly realized The things I have lost, but not forgotten.
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Glorious Sunrise 74
The Silence Between Words A Day Without Clouds I dream of a day without clouds When every man and woman will stand In witness to a shining morn, And the tinted light of a rosy dawn. I dream of a day without clouds When every man and woman will See the face and hear the voice, Of the Promised One. I dream of a day without clouds When every man and woman Will raise the call of God, And receive the light of His countenance. I dream of a day without clouds When every man and woman Will understand the language of God That is imprinted within their hearts. I dream of a day without clouds When every man and woman Will cleanse their hearts of every idle thought, And will be lifted, opened, emptied, and purified. 75
The Silence Between Words I dream of the dawn of the Day of God When every man and woman on earth Will feel the falling rain of the grace of God, And will kneel in communion with the Holy Spirit. I dream of the morn of the Day of God When every man and woman on earth Will accept the Spirit of God in their heart, And will be enlightened by a Dazzling Spark. I dream of the zenith of the Day of God When every man and woman on earth Will be sorely humbled by the truth of God, And will cast their hearts into the Brilliant Flame. I dream of a day without clouds, When the evident voice of God Will be heard by every ear, And understood by every heart. For this day will truly be, A day without clouds...
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Desert Wind 77
The Silence Between Words The Desert Wind O' Lord deliver me to the desert And there increase my thirst for thee. Call forth Thy eternal wind to Wear me down like polished rock. Rub me raw from the dross of self And stand this sentinel soul in silent solitude. There in the empty space between my heart And yours I will join you there. There when all has worn away, And all has blown away, And all has fallen away to desert dust. There only you do I trust. Embrace me like a desert wind and draw From me the water of my life That from the deep welling within me You may revive your soul. This Holy Spirit of desert wind Speaks of the ancient days 78
The Silence Between Words And changeless times... It carves upon this standing rock Potent signs and symbols, and Warnings from the past that Nothing here is meant to last. O' Holy Desert Wind, Etch upon the tablet of my heart Thy commandments and mark me with Thy living Word - that mine may be "A sovereignty, ancient, imperishable, And, everlasting." (Quote from the writings of Bahá’u’lláh)
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Pure Drops 80
The Silence Between Words Just This Just this, a blade of grass covered in dew, Not an ocean, just a drop. Just this, a flash of lightning within a cloud, Not a sunburst, just a spark. Just this, a leaf swirling in the wind, Not an oak tree, just a wild weed. Just this, a small bird buffeted by the wind, Not an eagle, just a barn swallow. Just this, a stream parting to pass a rock, Not a river, just a trickle. Just this, "Greater words erase lesser words", Not a shout, just a whisper in the heart.
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The Silence Between Words The Soft Embrace of Air I am not running away Or hiding. Instead I am Giving myself to the Soft embrace of air. And finding Fulfillment In emptiness, And beauty In invisibility. Air is the wave That rolls Across your lips And is more intimate Than a kiss And more lasting Than a touch. If I was air I would enter The sky 82
The Silence Between Words Of your deepest places And breathe life Into your hope. If I was air I would enfold you Within my clouds And release you To the delight Of a falling raindrop. If I was air I would lift you up And carry you On the wind. If I was air I would be Both nothing To you, And needed.
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The Silence Between Words The Story of the Poet If I could awaken the poet within my breast He would soar like a bird on waves of joyful music And warble a love song to delight the hearts. But he (the poet) fell asleep and dreamt only of beauty, Until beauty became desire, And desire became shame. Then hoping to put this burden off from himself He sought to put his trust in love, And so, began a desperate search. But in the midst of his search he awoke to the realization That all along it was love that had been seeking him, And that this love was the source of his salvation. Upon accepting that he no longer had a role to play In the drama of his own life, He quietly sat under the Bodhi Tree And partook of its sweet figs. Here he counted his remaining days As he counted his breath, Until with his last breath 84
The Silence Between Words He inhaled the fragrance Of the Beloved.
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Soft Rain 86
The Silence Between Words The Sprinkles of a Soft Rain Fell Upon Me The soft sprinkles of the mornings sun kissed rain fell upon me. This gentle grace dampened my hair and trickled down my neck. It slowly coursed down the curves of my shoulders and spread across my breast. It entered my pores and cleansed and purified me for my ascent. O' death be gentle with me, approach me with open arms and hold me tenderly to your bosom. This poor one seeks your comfort and not your condemnation. I offer these words with the hope that they may find favor in your heart And soften your eyes towards tenderness and forgiveness of me, That they may become stepping stones on the pathway to your love. I have reached that point within the boundaries of my first life where I stand alone As a witness and a watcher to the many follies of men, and to my own failings, And here I tremble and await your judgment, as I pray for your mercy. What other words may be written by me that might serve to open your heart? If I could find the words, I would gild them with gold and silver And I would adorn them with rubies, diamonds, emeralds, and other precious gems And offer them as a bride’s price to wed my soul to your spirit. Here I take pause... 87
The Silence Between Words I will utter this prayer in silence so as to not offend the ungodly amongst you Or to cause distress to those who claim belief, but do not truly believe, Or to those of you who would rather remain asleep and fear awakening to the truth. I beg your pardon, but what else is a humble poet to do, But to speak the words spoken by the soul And to sprinkle these words like a soft rain, Kissed by the morning light, upon you.
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The Silence Between Words The Open Door The candle light is slowly fading And the shadows are falling low As the greeting light of the dawn Enters through the passageway Of the open door. The time to say goodbye, As feared, has arrived And is announced by the morning light. Sweet kisses, gentle touches And flowing tears will not Stay the certainty of this moment When lovers sadly part And pass beyond the open door. There is a time to say goodbye When our last breath comingles And then ebbs like a receding tide. I see my love fading in the light, Radiant and luminous in the light, Blending and emerging into the light, And I am left alone in this empty room 89
The Silence Between Words Staring into the light outside the open door. There is a time to say goodbye, Even though it may seem like a dream, Glimpsed through the frame of an open door.
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The Silence Between Words Songs of Rest Come find in these words some solace, Where in peace may you lay Down your burdens And lift your heart To songs of rest. Come find in these words a psalm of praise, Where in humility may you bow To receive communion And join your spirit With songs of rest. Come find in these words a hymn of salvation, Where in safety may you fly Far away from trouble And open your heart To songs of rest. Come find in these words an anthem of hope, Where in grace will you be saved From "danger, toil, and snares" And your heart filled With songs of rest. 91
The Silence Between Words Sprinklings of the Cloud of Unknowing This day, I am swimming through the clouds of a limitless sky Surrendering to unconditional love and resisting the falsity of manmade knowledge. This day, my heart has emptied itself to the vaporous mist of the sky And offered itself as a receptacle for the solemn prayers of clouds. This day, I am following the slowly drifting tendrils of clouds And giving myself in ritual sacrifice to the Nephelai. This day, I have no use for the ways of men or their beliefs, For I have become vapor floating in an infinite ocean of air. This day, I have taken holy communion with clouds And I have risen above the earthly rites of men. This day, I have discovered the exalted pathway to God In complete surrender, unknowing, and nothingness. This day, I have ascended to the throne room of the thunder gods And stood trembling, mute, and submissive behind the veil of clouds. This day, I am receiving unto myself the liquid baptism Of the sprinklings of the cloud of unknowing. 92
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Purity of Place 93
The Silence Between Words The Light from the Eastern Sky These words are of no import. These words have no meaning. This poet is without merit. This is the voice of an unknown soul. Do not heed this warning. Do not listen to this cry. The sun rises again from the eastern sky And passes along its course to the west. I do not speak of the daylight shining, That would not be the good news. The truth, the new gospel - that is the good news. The radiant return of the Spirit - that is the good news. These are the words this poor one writes Upon awakening to the light from the eastern sky. These are the words that are written in traces And in whispers, upon the tablet of my heart. 94
The Silence Between Words But do not listen to these words They are only tears falling from blind eyes. And do not let your heart be moved by these words Stop your ears, and remain indifferent to their meaning. Be the first to hurl rebuke, Be the first to cast the stone, Be the first to hammer the nail, Be the first to set the cross. Be the first to close your eyes, To the light from the eastern sky.
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Sleeping River 96
The Silence Between Words All that Shall Remain All that shall remain of this fevered heart is ash, Its blood will become the crimson dye of my burial shroud. All that shall remain of this skin is a tattered parchment Upon which will be written the sad letters of my life. All that shall remain of this muscle and bone is a crucifix Upon which to nail my sins. But these two eyes, they shall remain, they shall remain, As windows to the soul. From the first moment that I beheld the Beloveds countenance I saw both the beginning and the end in all things. From the first moment that I gazed transfixed into the Beloved’s eyes I saw my life pass by in a flash of summer lightning. From the first moment the penetrating eyes of the Beloved captured me I saw that my fleeting life had ended the instant that it had begun. The eyes of the Beloved will burn away the veils of separation And as quickly as a flash of lightning your soul will return to Him. 97
The Silence Between Words All that shall remain is the memory of your loving eyes As seen through the windows to your soul. All that shall remain is the knowledge that life is a summer storm And as fleeting as lightning seen through the windows of the soul.
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The Silence Between Words This Lonely Journey I am in search of a kindred soul, Of whom I am the consequence of, And who understands that to be misunderstood Is the only path to eternity. In every moment of every day that passes by I dream of a journey that takes me to the end, But if it is only in dreams that we travel We are lonely birds that never leave our nest. If this separation is the eclipse of our love Let me be the first light to shine again, Let me be the moon that mirrors your love, Let me be the gravity that pulls upon your heart. If my changing to dust would diffuse light in the world I would set myself on fire and burn away to ash, I would scatter myself on the southern winds In the hope of becoming a vernal star. Why have you cast me away on waves of time and space, Why have you sentenced me to drift within this emptiness, Why have you left me alone and forsaken, Why am I lost in my constant longing to understand you? 99
The Silence Between Words If we are to be one soul, one substance, Then release me to dissolve into nothingness, And to sleep until I awaken to your love... For nothingness is preferable to living life without knowing true love.
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Ruby Treasure 101
The Silence Between Words Whither Can a Lover Go? The sunrise brought a message of love, "The bird seekest its nest; And the nightingale the charm of the rose..." Love grants forever life, And desire naught but dust. Where the heart sets its affection The wavering soul will follow. When the spirit sings The heart weeps its tale Of woe and recounts its Separation so... "Whither can a lover go?" I long for the arms of my Beloved And to lay this ruby treasure Upon His blessed hand. This hollowed out breast Can find no rest, Save in His holy land. “A myriad lives he would forsake�, A myriad more we would forsake, 102
The Silence Between Words And a myriad more would I forsake To enter His abode. …for the longing heart is pulled Towards the mother lode And there is melted into purest gold, And "Whither can a lover go?" O SON OF JUSTICE! Whither can a lover go but to the land of his beloved? And what seeker findeth rest away from his heart’s desire? To the true lover reunion is life, and separation is death. His breast is void of patience and his heart hath no peace. A myriad lives he would forsake to hasten to the abode of his beloved. Bahá’u’lláh
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Storm Clouds 104
The Silence Between Words The Sea of the Sleeping Souls The sea of the sleeping souls is restless tonight Its waves are churning and its currents are surging Under the light of the moon its tides are rising It's eddies and currents are filled with the scent Of cinnamon and clove, and gardenia and jasmine. Carried on the wind are the plaintive cries of the flute A weeping sound that stirs the breasts This is a gypsy song of longing played on the strings of the hearts It's notes and tones, melody and harmony tell the story Of star-crossed lovers, and of yearning and fervent desire. In the sea of the sleeping souls spirit is quickening It's lightning’s are flashing and thundering’s vibrate the air Under the vault of the stars the clouds are burning Their vapors rise to the heaven Of light and glory, and majesty and awe. Spirit has dawned upon the sea of the sleeping souls Stirring into motion the ebb and flow of eternal existence Awakening the human intellect and bringing beauty to the earth, Which draws its breath and life from the ornament of man And woman, saints, and holy spirits of grace. 105
The Silence Between Words Whisper of the Lover It is the whisper of the lover that fills my breast And the pulsing flow of His words that opens my heart. It is the desire for nearness to the Beloved that moves my limbs, And every hair upon my head is a waving hymn to His eternal truth. I can move no closer than this soft whisper and faint caress For “Love is a veil betwixt the lover and the beloved”. Even the smallest trace of love of Self bars the path. There is no key to this door latch and no way in save poverty For a heart filled with self has no room for the Beloved. (Quote from the writings of Bahá’u’lláh)
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The Silence Between Words About the author Dr. Gregory T. Lawton is an author of many books, most of them in health science, but also in the genre of Asian martial arts, philosophy, poetry, and prose. Dr. Lawton is a passionate award-winning artist and photographer who finds his artistic and creative inspiration in nature, and who frequently attributes the source of his images and writing to the 19th century Persian Prophet, Bahá’u’lláh, the founder of the Baha’i Faith, and the 13th century Persian poet and Sufi Mystic Jalāl ad-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī. Dr. Lawton has been a member of the Baha’i Faith since 1970 and embraces the Faith’s principles related to the promotion of world unity and peace. Dr. Gregory T. Lawton has studied and trained in Asian religion, philosophy and martial arts such as Aikido, Jujitsu, Kenpo, and Tai Chi Chuan and was awarded the title of Yudansha Taigu. Dr. Lawton’s main and most noted Asian martial art instructor was Professor Huo Chi-Kwang. Professor Huo was a renowned Chinese scholar, artist, and calligrapher who served as Taiwan's ambassador to France and he was a friend of Pablo Picasso.
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The Silence Between Words Other books and materials by this author –
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The Silence Between Words
The Silence Between Words, a collection of poetry, prose, photography and art
The Silence Between Words, Copyright 2016, Revised 2019 Dr. Gregory T. Lawton Muyblue Productions 2040 Raybrook SE, Suite 104 Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546 616-285-9999 Writing, Photography and Design – Dr. Gregory T. Lawton All rights reserved. No part of this book shall be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without written permission from Gregory T. Lawton. 109