CONVO ISSUE 07 2022
HEALTH | LIFESTYLE | BUSINESS | FAMILY | SPIRITUALITY | SOCIETY
MAGAZINE
E N C O U R A G I N G
C O N V E R S A T I O N S
T H A T
M A T T E R
QATAR 2022 WORLD CUP
Planning to travel? All you need to know.
MANHOOD EXPLAINED Challenge: The inability to really capture what being a man means
JEFF GICHUKI FATHERHOOD & FATHERLESSNESS
The true essence of fatherhood and the identity it bestows upon the children….and “who fathers the fatherless?”
HIS ISSUE BECAUSE HE MATTERS
AND SO MUCH MORE
CONVO Encouraging conversations that matter
A FORUM AIMED TOWARDS FOSTERING A THRIVING SOCIETY
Royal Vacations
+254 704 882421 We take the hassle away from you AND PROMISE YOU
call to book For all your hotel booking & travel needs
stress-free holiday
02 | CONVO MAGAZINE
BECOME VENTURES
Consult on Digital Marketing Contact us
+254 724 936949
CONVO MAGAZINE | 03
BEAUTY ANNYLS BEAUTY & BEYOND WELLNESS SPA
Helping men and women look great and feel confident through Spa treatments
CERTIFIED BY ANUBIS COSMETICS SPAIN ANNLYSBEAUTY & BEYOND IS A ONE-STOP SPA FOR BEAUTY SERVICES LOCATED AT REHEMA PLACE BLOCK B SUITE 10 ON NGONG ROAD OPPOSITE PRESTIGE PLAZA. THEY CAN BE REACHED ON +2547 93572473 FROM MONDAY TO SATURDAY 8AM-7PM.
04 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Let your visitors see you here
Advertise here
Book a space on the February 2023 issue Let us tell your story
+254 724 936949
CONVO MAGAZINE | 05
HEALING IS POSSIBLE Healing is Possible is a support group for people struggling with mental illnesses and people seeking to improve their mental health Write to us: +254 736 230599 CONVO | ENCOURAGING CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER
06 | CONVO MAGAZINE
CONVOMAGAZINE Issue No. 07
EDITORIALNOTE
PUBLISHER
W
Fridah Wachira James Wetu EDITORIAL
Fridah Wachira CONSULTATION
Manuel Consultants DESIGN
James Wetu SPECIAL CONTRIBUTOR
hen I see all the work that is going on, in an attempt to revive the boy child and undo the damage caused over the years, I am filled with hope. I must commend everyone at the Convo family for all your efforts to contribute to this fight. Our agenda for He matters is simple; we want to see the boy child rise again. Our story features a man that I honor and love so much. He is a man with a renewed mind and a tender heart. A great father not just to his biological children but to everyone God has entrusted into his hands. Jeff Gichuki is not only an amazing pastor, but also a wonderful father. He has outdone himself in regard to fatherhood. A personal lesson I have learned from him over the years is that fatherhood is delegated authority from God. He has done well in representing God as a perfect father to us.
FaithLucy Mwangi Betty Kariuki Simon Theuri Muchai Echengi Jackson Kimani Sylvia Sly Lynette Mwangi Betsy Munene Mary Kinuthia Sarah Ombati Doug Kanja Dennis Njiru Wanyama Ogutu Lydia Arunga Diana Orito Maggie Andrew Joy Golan DESIGN & PUBLISHING BECOME VENTURES Nairobi
CONTACT US
+254 724 936949
We cannot talk about the boy child without talking about fathers and mentors. They play a significant role in the growth of a man. Every story featured in this issue is inspiring and informative. I hope you enjoy reading and get a mind shift.
Sincerely,
Wachira Fridah Deputy Editor
COVER PHOTO JEFF GICHUKI (PASTOR) UZIMA CENTRE
CONVO MAGAZINE | 07
CONVOMAGAZINE
CONTENTS 11 15 19 17 47
46
09
22
57
35
55
52
40
55
MEN"S SKINCARE
FASHION PASSION
45
41
EDITOR'S NOTE FATHERHOOD ESSENSE BEING A FATHER HEALING OF A MODERN MAN MANHOOD EXPLAINED PROTECT YOUR BRAND ONLINE MEN'S HEALTH & DIET
19
53
76 QATAR WORLD CUP 2022
A WOMAN'S WORTH
CONTENTS | ISSUE 07
07
FEATURE STORY
Men on the Blink? A closer look at a 21st Century man BY FAITHLUCY MWANGI
W
CONVO SPECIAL CONTRIBUTOR
hen we hear the word man the first thing that cones to mind, well, at least for many people if not all, is a strong being, family head, breadwinner. How many times do we talk about the pressure that comes with being a man in this era? Just look at how high the bar has been set for our men. From being a good father, having a successful career, work pressures, providing for the family, to being financially stable. There is already a set definition of how a man should be, how they should behave or even carry themselves. Due to this set standards, most men feel like they have failed when they do not live up to them. Increased responsibility leaves most of them in a dilemma on what should come first in their lives: ‘should I go home and spend time with my kids or stay a little longer at work and finish that project, or should I get a part-time job’. Most often than not, even in families with both a husband and a wife, it is assumed that it is the responsibility of a man to make sure that the family Is financial stable even when the wife has a stable job. Expectations to be the cool, present and the providing dad and at the same time provide solutions and support. Most men find themselves in a conflict between working themselves out, being there for their family or friends, and pressure socially to take more responsibilities at home.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 09
FaithLucy
Recent research has proven that men are taking more and more responsibility in their families’ lives, which is a positive trajectory. Also, we are painfully aware of the recent rise of cases of stressed, depressed men in the work place and being unable to fully accomplish family roles as they should. Most of these things have been brought about by the increasing demand for them to 'man up' without them being able to even take care of themselves. I highly doubt if most men actually have time for themselves. We are not advocating for men to fold their hands, not investing or having fewer roles not at all, we are raising awareness of these issues and simply acknowledging their space in our society and advocating for their wellbeing; a balance between the increasing life's responsibilities and their mental, emotional wellness. To all the men out there, we acknowledge you and the effort you put into your families, the society and personal lives. We appreciate you!!
WHEN THE LEADER BREAKS... LIFE BECOMES A MIRAGE BY JOHN NDUNGU
....HE INCREASES THE POWER OF THE WEAK.
T
he society expects men to be strong, but sometimes they cry too, to the point of depression in the name of protecting our loved ones. The weight that lies on their shoulders when they look at what awaits them, the future that lies ahead or the uncertainty of the unknown, this drips down to one man. He wishes for the very best for them, not realizing he is losing his strength and energy. The ability to work and fight for other better days is threatened. The same man the society upholds to be the source of security and love, turns out to be the sick, weak and vulnerable man with no one to turn or open up to; he starts to die from the inside slowly. The journey begins slowly until the very last breath, and we sing; he was a great man. In reality, he was the weakest of all—a great future and dreams, that never came to pass. The reality of it is men are people with hearts, and they get weak at some point. They become vulnerable. If allowed and unattended, the man feels no need to live again or fight for his loved ones again. He wishes death. He hopes it will glance at him. The hope for a solution appears, but on the oblivion. But we won't die, because, He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
John Ndungu contemplating.
10 | CONVO MAGAZINE
FEATURE STORY
Fatherhood State of fatherhood BY JAMES WETU CONVO : A CONVERSATION WITH JEFF GICHUKI, LEAD PASTOR AT UZIMA CENTRE CHURCH
F
athers and men in families represent one of the most important yet untapped resource for children's welfare. The value of fatherhood has continued to lack in meaning even here in Kenya. It is so dire that men have been reduced to sperm donors or financiers and not the heads of our homes. Women now prefer parenting by themselves, some claiming they do not need husbands in their lives. The consequences is an increase in female headed families. The trends toward globalization and the rise of western influence have made a profound impact on the role of the father and, consequently, child development in Africa. Family structures continue to change, leading to an increase in abdication of paternal responsibilities. It has become clear that, fathers have an impact on child development, and also that they have a unique and independent influence. A recent review of the literature concludes that, ‘father love sometimes explains a unique, independent portion of the variation in specific child outcomes over and above the portion explained by mother love’ (Rohner, 1998. p. 158) In other words, fathers may influence child development outcomes in ways that mothers may not. Another recent review suggests that the effects of fathering on children occur throughout development into adulthood (Rohner & Veneziano, 2001).
CONVO MAGAZINE | 11
Research by Marsiglio, Amato, Day, & Lamb, For example indicates that, authoritative fathering (a parenting style that involves warmth, consistent limit setting, and high, realistic expectations) is associated with lower levels of emotional and behavioral problems. Supportive fathering on the other hand is predictive of decreased risk and problem behaviors and associated with better life satisfaction, self-esteem and cognitive competence according to Yeung, Duncan, & Hill. Furstenberg, & Marme Harris indicates that, high levels of father involvement and closeness are associated with lower levels of adolescent delinquent behavior and emotional difficulties. Female adolescents of divorced parents who have strong relationships with their fathers are less likely to become depressed (Videon, 2002). It is therefore enough to say that fatherhood has the potential to make an impact on child development. We spoke to Jeff Gichuki, a husband and a father who runs a very vibrant ministry, Uzima Centre Ministry, along Thika Road in Kenya about the topic of fatherhood. He shared with us very practical knowledge around fatherhood.
FATHERHOOD IN OUR CONTEXT I would want to bring in Scripture right from the onset, in Genesis 1:27. “So God created man in His own image…. Male and female, He created them.” So very interesting from this verse that God created one man, then it says male and female. So when you talk about fatherhood, fathers and fatherlessness, definitely we're talking about a function that was originally placed in the hands of a man with a purposeful intent.
FATHERS GIVE YOU AN IDENTITY FATHERHOOD IN OUR CONTEXT When you say Father, it is widely accepted that we are talking about the role a man plays. Sometimes women will be pushed into a corner to act out some of these roles but ideally, it was given to the male man. Fatherhood is something God intended to flow naturally in a man. You cannot ignore fatherhood in life, for example, you look at a person, you look at a community you look at a nation, and you can see fatherhood all over. In South Africa, everyone one acknowledges that Nelson Mandela is the father of South Africa. What he really did was to give South Africans an identity. He was an embodiment of what the people in South Africa went through.
WHY IS FATHERHOOD SO INTEGRAL? The one thing fatherhood gives us is identity. Right from the Lord Jesus teaching his disciples and some disciples says, teach us to pray Just like John taught us to pray. And Jesus teaches us to pray very interestingly; When you pray, say, Our Father… Yes, it didn't say call him Jehovah Jireh, and didn't say calling Great God, or the mighty man or creator of everything, he says, call Him Father. Why Father? The relationship and within that relationship is identity. Fathers give us identity, among many other things. One of the things a father brings into our child, for example, almost naturally is confidence. As kids watch their dad, they grow with this confidence. They feel secure, safe, and they don't feel vulnerable. But when the father is not there, or whoever is a father doesn't play the role, then the children feel vulnerable. That's why actually an abusive father is such a dangerous creature, because children growing up in such an environment end up so vulnerable and insecure, and when they are adults, they either become abusers or victims of abuse unless the Lord intervenes.
So when we talk of the state of fatherhood, God intended that father would be a figure we have all around us. God intended that we have father figure right to left, everywhere. In any case, every male was supposed to offer fatherhood. Every young man grows into it. For example, in various African culture, older sons are considered to be father figures to their younger siblings, even when they have their own families, because that is one of the things that is expected of the man.
Pastor Jeff
Pastor jeff Gichuki
12 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Fatherlessness
being a father is the contribution you bring into the world BY JAMES WETU CONVO : A CONVERSATION WITH JEFF GICHUKI, LEAD PASTOR AT UZIMA CENTRE CHURCH
Pastor Jeff with his sons According to research, three of the contributions men can make to children which are recognized by development agencies are (1) building a caring relationship with children, (2) taking economic responsibility for children, and (3) reducing the chances of fathering a child outside a partnership with the child’s mother.
F
atherlessness has been attributed to so many social vices across the globe. From crime to poor school performance, the effects are enormous. More is known about where fathers don’t live than where they in fact reside. Over the past decades the prevalence of female-headed households have grown sharply, begging the question, what is happening and what are the consequences. Father absence mainly occurs when a parent dies, parental alienation, or where parents separate and the father no longer lives with his children. Parental separation has been shown to affect a child's development and behavior. The Bible talks so much of the fatherless, specially because they are subject to oppression and require God's special protection. In Psalms 68, God is described as "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families. This denotes the importance bestowed on fatherhood.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 13
“Father involvement” commonly refers to the establishment of “warm and close” relationships with children, which can be accomplished with relatively little time investment. The key ingredient appears to be positive emotion and attention toward children. The three components of fathering considered to be of crucial importance are interaction, availability to children, and taking responsibility for children (Lamb, Pleck, Carnov, & Levine, 1987). Although infants show preferences for mothers over fathers, whether fathers are involved in care taking or not, infants do become attached to their fathers by the end of the first year of life, even if the father spends relatively little time with them (Cox, Owen, & Henderson, 1992). Pastor Jeff Gichuki helps us dive deeper in understanding this pertinent topic; whether lack of a father figure does indeed affect how we view God and on the conclusion, he reminds us why being a father is a huge blessing.
IS FATHERLESSNESS THE END OF THE ROAD? DO PRESENCE OR LACK OF A FATHER FIGURE AFFECT HOW WE RELATE WITH GOD?
Definitely, yes, of course. But we got to add that lack of biological father does not necessarily mean absent fatherhood because somebody can step into the shoes and play out the role. What would be more critical is if and when fatherhood is absent, it really affects how people view God the father. And that doesn't mean they stumble, but it means they have a journey to work out their insecurities. So when you talk about absent fathers and our relationship with God, it does have a huge effect. Having a father around you boosts your confidence, when you say, Our Father in heaven, it sounds good.
DID GOD ANTICIPATE AS SITUATION OF WHERE WILL GROW UP AND BE FATHERLESS?
Out of the fall of man, the world was distorted, as God had planned. You will find fathers who are absent, where you have a man, even a father, alive, healthy and doing well. But he's just removed from the family set up. God knew that at one point, because of sin, this vital ingredient may be missing in people. And so he says, I'll be a father to the fatherless. It's very easy to assume that God then will come and become the man. Not always.
That is one of the meaning of it. But it's not the only meaning. As a pastor, I'm offering fatherhood to a generation and to people, but I'm actually doing that on behalf of God. So when God says, I'm the father to the fatherless, part of that father is extended to people around us, it's not necessarily a biological one.
WE NEED YOU, YOU ARE PART OF US I want to say that fatherhood is a blessing. Being a father is a blessing. Whether you are a father in your own biological children or other children. And when you say children, it's not necessarily little toddlers, children, it could also be an adult. God created man and woman, and gave roles that are quite clear and distinct, and they all are very valuable. And so no man should see themselves like, not important. No man should underestimate the value and their position in the family and the communities. Men have a huge role to play. And you being available as a father makes a huge difference. And so, don't take your life like, it's just my life. It's not just your life, it is beyond you. It's actually our life, your life. You belong to us, we belong to you, we have a part in you and you have a part in us. Fatherhood is one of those contributions you bring into the world. The matter of absent fathers should not happen. As long as you are alive, be a variable. Take care of your own children. Take care of the kids in your neighborhood, take care of teenagers around you, some of your relatives, others will even be strangers, but you need to bring in that fatherhood. And just like God is called our Father in heaven, we become our father on the earth. God bless.
14 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Being a father
Being present and conscious of your actions BY JAMES WETU
T
CONVO : A CONVERSATION WITH JEFF GICHUKI, LEAD PASTOR AT UZIMA CENTRE CHURCH
he 21st century father is expected to contribute to his children's health and well-being by maintaining a healthy relationship with the mother; providing emotional and financial support, maintaining discipline and most importantly by remaining a permanent and loving presence in the children's lives. He is no longer only a breadwinner and as disciplinarian as it were 2 or 3 centuries ago. Due to industrialization, fathers went to work and as a result distanced themselves from the household and their families. The changing economic role of women has greatly impacted the role of fathers, women also being able to work and provide, making paternal financial support less necessary for some families. Research on child development has majorly focused on the sensitivity of mothers to fulfilling their children’s needs. However, in the last 20 to 30 years, research has increasingly focused on fathers and their roles. According to apa.org, fatherly love helps children develop a sense of their place in the world, which helps their social, emotional and cognitive development and functioning. Moreover, children who receive more love from their fathers are less likely to struggle with behavioral or substance abuse problems.. We spoke to pastor Jeff Gichuki of Uzima Centre Church to help us better understand what it means to being a father.
Pastor Jeff
CONVO MAGAZINE | 15
FROM THE STORY OF PRODIGAL SON, HOW IS BEING A FATHER NEED TO BE LIKE? Do not despise the chastening of your father, or the discipline of your father. Fathers have a very major role to give us discipline. Fathers are able to measure and gauge maturity. God has given fathers the ability to not only nurture, but also discern when one has matured. So, in the story of the prodigal son, you have two boys; the youngest says to the father, give me everything that belongs to me and not many days later, he goes to a far country, and spends all he has and loses everything. When he is out there and finally being in trouble, he comes to his senses and says, “I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you”, The interesting part of the story is that the father takes out a ring, which he puts on his hand. In the Middle East culture, that is a symbol of belonging and authority. So the father somehow still had something for the boy, the boy had carried everything, but the father, reserved part of that honor. And maybe if the boy perused what he had been given by the father, he would have said, hey, there's something missing. It's something he should have carried along. And so when he went, and he is out of a good relationship with his biological father, then he got into a problem with the father in heaven, so to say. In that same passage, Jesus seeks to teach us the heart of the father and how we should treat our children. That you are not so lost, that he cannot restore you. That also becomes our heart, as you talk about fatherhood, we are talking about men, real men and real women out here who have fathers or grandfathers. And so that becomes also a serious matter for us to consider as we talk about fatherhood.
FATHERLESSNESS. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT? First of all, one of the things I find very interesting, especially as you deal with adults, is to find them requiring attention that you had assumed should have been given to children. You have an adult who will require some attention at the level you thought that attention should be given to a child. For example, you will find an adult who need recognition and is waiting for a “well done”, “Thank you” “That's brilliant”, “That's great”. Well, if it wasn’t given, it shouldn't sound like a big deal Some people have very poor self-image of themselves and sometimes we look back and see, I think something went amiss when they were growing. Some people are very aggressive because they were overly disciplined. You will also notice people who have very poor confidence, you find somebody who have skills and ability to do certain things, yet they will not do it so you will have to tell them to do. And when you follow up, they do and do it perfectly well. And then you want to ask, so why couldn't you do without instructions? Why did they need somebody to check up on them to have that done? On the flip side of it, is also somebody trying to compensate for an absent father by overdoing. Some people become overconfident by trying to show their capability, to an extent of doing things that are illegal. Every individual has different needs. So you keep identifying what some of these needs are. You encourage somebody to do certain things without necessarily pointing out, then with time you begin to point out, ‘I think you have a challenge.’‘Maybe this is what you need to do.’ Young men need to create more friendships with older men.
Pastor Jeff with his family
So it's possible to find a man of God like me, a pastor completely absent from the family. HOW DOES BEING A FATHER SUPPOSED TO BE EVERY SINGLE DAY? First of all, the father is supposed to be just the father. Some of the things I encourage people to do in life is to live a bit more conscious life. And then as you talk about conscious life, you build a discipline around your life. There are many services within the week which are done in churches. So it's possible to find a man of God like me, a pastor, is completely absent from the family. And so what do I do? So I see the need and the value of my being available for my children. I plan for it, build a culture around it, so that it begins to flow almost naturally. If Monday is my day to be in the house, I spend time with my children, I place value in it, and then allow it to just flow. And then what do you do when you get into that house? Just be yourself? Live normally, only that you are more conscious.
I'll give you an example. I have two boys in my house. And I've ladies in the house. So I must consistently know that my boys are learning how to treat women, their mother and other ladies in the house. So I make sure that I create a balance. Some time, I'll tell them, let's take these utensils to the kitchen. Sometimes I will send them and sometimes with somebody else. I remember going to the kitchen to prepare dinner. My boy is wondering, oh, you can cook? You know how to cook? They're like, yes, Daddy knows how to cook and can cook. So why am I doing that? I want to add into the image that really also men do some of those things. So, make sure you are living your life as normal as possible, and you are being conscious about everything you are doing.
16 | CONVO MAGAZINE
MANHOOD: WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS TO BE A MAN The environment that we are brought up in happens to be what really defines us as men. It defines and crafts our identity, whether consciously or unconsciously, and sort of gives you a definition of Who You Are. If we are not careful about what we are picking, it will end up defining us, and we develop a warped identity. Stephen shares with us more on how it actually means to be a man.
W
hat is the major challenge affecting the Man?
Well, according to me, I'm just looking at how we see all these things happening around, and you know everyone is talking about women and Girl child empowerment and really there isn't much focus on man. When I look at it deeply, I think it is just an issue of identity. That is the main challenge that is affecting men, the inability to really capture what being a man means. Because, once that is altered, when that is not clear, then we get to see all these things happening. Men are not able to take leadership, they are not able to show leadership, they're not able to be decisive.
STEPHEN NZIOKA
Men are not so sure about their purpose and calling. So for me, I think all those societal issues emanate from a warped Identity, meaning, you are not so sure about who you are. Where are you going and what are some of the things that you need to focus on. The things that define you as a man.
We start off as boys. We talk about boys becoming men. Speaking to the issue of identity, we borrow a lot from our environment. There's a lot that we borrow from society or where we came from, in most cases, by default that's what defines us. And this can be culture, this can be the environments that you were brought up in, because that's what really defines you. It defines and crafts, your identity, whether consciously or unconsciously and sort of gives you a definition of who you are.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 17
WHAT DEFINES A MAN? So then it means that if you're not really careful about what you are borrowing; and we speak about the beliefs, we speak about values and all those things we draw from our environment by default, it will end up defining us. And so if you're brought up in a setting where these, let me call it a warped sense of manhood, is like you’ll become predisposed to it. You know, there are certain characteristics and behavior that we acquire from our environment and/or our culture? And now these are the things that we are addressing because, it means, then you may pick up something, a character trait that according to you, where you come from, it's something that is accepted, you know, let's say your identity as a man as an authoritarian. It's like you say things and people run around.
Manhood is a dimension, it is a way of life….know for some of us that manhood is not just about masculinity. You spoke about Authority; so you can have a wrong sense of authority that is brought about by where you're brought up. Those are some of the attributes that you pick up and if not crafted they start manifesting other things because you sort of have either a borrowed or exported identity. Or rather you import, this identity that now defines you as a man and for me, I think we have grown to know for some of us that manhood is not just about masculinity. You know, all those things that we associate with men. Well, it defines us as men, but that's not, that's not the essence of manhood.
So for me, manhood is a dimension, it is a way of life, you know. So it's not about biceps, is not about who you are. Where you stay? What kind of car you drive? The level of education you have? Because in most cases, those are the things that define men, so we are defined by the things you have or the things you don't have.
5 attributes that define a man. 1. Taking initiative.
A man takes initiative. An initiative is the ability to do something, you know as a man you are required to do something. You know, as I said, we are nurturers, and we are caregivers. So there’s a way we need to handle relationships, I mean, our spouses, our families, our friends, and the like. Secondly, faith, let me demystify and say this is not about religion. It is the ability to relate and to be defined by certain value sets. You must have a belief in something. What is that which drives you? Another thing that requires initiative is the ability to make decisions. We are called to make decisions as leaders and as heads of our homes. So those are some of the things that define manhood, your ability to demonstrate, you know, taking that initiative around these three areas.
2. Living Responsibly.
As a man, living responsibly is a position you are supposed to take to be able to execute functions in whichever context you are in. As the leader of a home and as a husband, as a father, as a colleague at work, and as a boss, there’s an element of responsibility that you're supposed to take care of. Going back to the Bible, there was something Adam was supposed to do and when you look at the entire story, you can say, there is a part where he relaxed. And the enemy was able to speak to someone and compromise something, and that wasn't supposed to be the case.
3. Leading sacrificially.
What does that mean? We talk about servant leadership. It is about putting others before ourselves.
Leading sacrificially starts by valuing other people and seeing that I am a leader, that I am a head of a home. So headship is not about authority or superiority. It's about leading and guiding. Recognizing that you have been given a role and responsibility to lead, but it should not get into your head, and I think that's where we get it all wrong. If you get it wrong, you start thumping your chest and start demanding things. But what are we supposed to do? To nurture and take care of others.
4. Loving Faithfully. I think this is one of the core definitions of manhood; It speaks about caring, about guarding, about protecting, about desiring the best for others and creating an environment in which others can be able to thrive and grow.
5. Leave a worthwhile Legacy. What are you here for? What do you want people to remember you for? What cause do you support? What impact do you have; one in your family and in your community? What's your purpose in life? We have been given the capacity to steward lives. For those that are married; you have your wife, you have your children, So, what it that you deposit in them, that will last and transcend you. Nelson Mandela, when we mention names like Barack Obama, when I mention names like Mwai Kibaki, When I mention such names, there's something these people stood for, and we know them for. Some of them are long gone but, we still see them and hold them as icons because they stood for something. Yes. So for you, what is that thing that you're building that will transcend you. We are not just here to exist and when you're gone, you are forgotten. As a man, think of a lasting impression first for your family and then your community.
This is the authentic identity of whom a man is supposed to be and what he's supposed to do. I learned this from Man Enough program by Transform Nations, a faith-based NonProfit Organization set up by Simon Mbevi in the year 2010 to address issues of masculinity in the Family, Church, and Marketplace. As a man, we should safeguard our identity and ensure we do not give it away and adopt another one that is actually not ours. 18 | CONVO MAGAZINE
THE HEALING OF A MODERN MAN A man Praying silently.
For generations, men have been solid providers, protectors and inspired adventurers, but gender roles and sometimes-conflicting cultural expectations have taken a heavy toll on both the individual and community, leaving them confused and broken. How can such broken men heal? Godfrey Kingori, Pastor at Grace Hill Mission Church - Northlands shares with us on this crucial topic.
A
man once joked when referring to the struggles that men go through and said that he had gotten to a point at his age to understand why male chickens wake up early to scream and crow.
He was Simply saying that men go through exceedingly difficult challenges and often suffer alone. WHO released a suicide rate report in 2019 which showed that in Kenya the rate of suicide in men was three times the rate for women. This shows that Kenyan men are three times more likely to commit suicide than their female compatriots. Also, when faced with mental or emotional difficulties, men are less likely to seek help or speak about them. We at times may wish for a chance to wake up at night and “crow” but we usually bottle up the struggles and therefore, suffer in silence. Sadly, just like a huge tree could fall when ants bore into its stem, such a strategy often leads to negative and farreaching consequences. The main struggles that men face could be broadly categorized into two fundamental areas, which are Provision and Protection.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 19
These categories represent the two fundamental needs of all humankind. Provision speaks about the key expectation of men providing and supplying for the needs of their households and relatives, while protection relates to securing and assurance for the uncertain future. Protection also speaks about relationships at the family and societal levels, and the need to safely belong and feel needed and appreciated within certain circles of human interaction. Families and the relations we keep are a part of what meets our protection and security needs. As uncertain as life can be, men while pursuing those needs experience failure, frustration, and burnout and if they are unable to release or vent the frustration, they simply boil up within them and eventually become toxic.
BY GODGREY KINGORI PASTOR: GRACE HILL MISSION CHURCH - NORTHLANDS
Masculine Gender Role Stress (MGRS) is the kind of distress that a man experiences when they fail to fulfil the expectation of the social and traditional gender roles. Such stress is mostly expressed in the form of overworking, withdrawal, irritability, violence, drug abuse, depression and at times physical illness. Part of the reason men find it difficult to vent out is the cultural gender-based expectation that men should always be strong, unemotional and in control. From an early age, men are taught to man up and grow to be men, with most expressions of emotion and inability being considered feminine. At the same time, a man is expected to be a strong sexual stallion, to toil and excel in securing the protection and provision earlier mentioned for their family and relatives.
This by itself is a potential source of stress for men, particularly when they fail or are afraid of failing to fulfil such expectations. Anything that could potentially show us as not being “man enough” easily generates an existential crisis which challenges the self-worth and awareness of the man. This kind of stress is called Masculine Gender Role Stress (MGRS), which is the kind of distress that a man experiences when they fail to fulfil the expectation of the social and traditional gender roles. Such stress is mostly expressed in the form of overworking, withdrawal, irritability, violence, drug abuse, depression and at times physical illness. It, therefore, means that correcting the dysfunction needs to begin at the point of upbringing and parenting of sons where they can be helped to understand that while they must be assertive, industrious, and reasonably driven in life, they should also know that it is okay to fail and rise, to seek help and to talk about what troubles them. The World Economic Forum released the Global Risk Report for 2022 and in the top 10 Global risks, number 2 was listed as Livelihood crises, number 4 as social cohesion erosion and number 6 as mental health deterioration. It is easy to map out those three risks and see how they fall within the two categories of provision and protection. Such, therefore, is the environment and reality facing the same men who struggle to express their struggles. It paints a not-so-rosy picture and if the WHO suicide rate report is anything to go by, it indicates the reality that the world may see more men imploding and taking away their lives. It, therefore, necessitates the question, “How can men cope with such struggles?” We could use an unrelated Biblical story to illustrate possible solutions. The story is found in John 5:5-9 where Jesus healed a disabled man who had waited at the pool of Bethesda for 38 years. As Jesus healed him, He told him to rise, take up his mat and walk. We will also suggest a fourth crucial and possible solution which is retreat.
RISE UP Like the disabled man, the journey to a man’s healing and reinvention requires an initial wake-up response. This is simply a change of posture, and it refers to a correct assessment of the situation and an acceptance that one is indeed struggling and needs help. It calls the man to shift from being embarrassed about their struggles, to being honest about them. Here, the man should also know that they can recover and that taking action is not a weakness. Acceptance and having the right attitude to prepare for action is the key component of this step.
TAKE UP YOUR MAT This refers to making necessary adjustments and steps to recovery. One here appreciates that challenges are an inevitable part of life, and that help is available. This step involves finding someone to speak with, either as a friend or professional. This stage relies heavily on one’s social wealth, which refers to the network of friends and support that one keeps around themselves. One of the challenges that men have is that they may have many superficial relationships or friendships without any meaningful depth. However, it is advisable to keep a few friends whom one can openly talk to in-depth about their lives and challenges. This step is characterized by having real conversations about the struggles, and thus the key component here is vulnerability.
WALK This is the continuous journey to healing, either through the commitment to therapy or the strategies developed in the previous step. Such a kind of healing is a process, and it requires commitment and consistency. On top of seeking help, one can take up a therapeutic hobby relating to some of the activities that give us a chance to reflect on our situations and heal. This step can also involve investing in the things that matter in life, and these may include our families.
One of the challenges that men have is that they may have many superficial relationships or friendships without any meaningful depth RETREAT In a session with Christian men, I asked them how many had spent considerable time alone with God and without their phones, and the answers were puzzling. None of them could even trace a time they had 30 minutes before God alone and without technology. Men are so easily caught up with the buzz of life that they rarely find time to retreat and take time off everything. In a poem, William B. Yeats portrays a falcon bird caught up in a violent whirlwind. The chaos of the moment prevents the bird from hearing calls of guidance from its falconer, and thus the bird stays trapped and at risk of death. Yeats attributes the chaos to a weak center that cannot hold, and therefore all things fall apart. The weak center was incapable of holding the “ecosystem” together, and that opens the reader to understand why a strong, effective center is necessary for peace and quality of life. Had the falcon gotten a quiet moment amid the storm, it would have easily heard and responded to the falconer’s calls. The Bible calls believers to such a realization by reminding them that Jesus Christ is the center that holds all things together. (Col 1:17) At the core of the journey to recovery, Men would easily benefit from practicing the discipline of retreating taking time alone with God and intentionally silencing all distractions. This is called solitude before God and here, God’s loving calls and direction become more audible, convictions are strengthened, misplaced passions realigned and all fears and doubts quenched. More about solitude can be read in Godfrey King’ori’s book “A Retreat to self: The place of Christian Solitude”.
20 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Father showing his daughter how to color.
Does a Girl need their Father while growing up?
M
BY FAITHLUCY MWAGI
CONVO MAGAZINE | 21
ost girls who find it difficult to submit to authority, especially male authority or commit to relationships or react badly to criticism from male figures, have most probably grown up without a father or a father figure. I strongly believe the success of a ladies' life, their ability to sustain relationships, to be effective parents, courageous, strong and assertive is largely dependent on the relationship they have or had with their father. The parental role of a father goes beyond protecting and providing. Research has recently proven that a father’s influence in his daughter's life shapes her self Image, confidence, self-esteem, opinions of men, her ability to trust, her need for approval and her self belief. This is why an emotionally absent father usually has a devastating effect on his daughter's life. Women who grew up with emotionally absent fathers often have an anxious attachment style, leaving them living in fear and distrust.
Women who grew up affirmed and acknowledged by their fathers most times end up in very successful relationships, and the reverse is also true. For the few years I lived with my father, I came to appreciate the role a father plays in his daughter's life. My Dad was a calm, quiet man but very strict and always stood up for what he wanted and what was right. However, one thing that I loved about Him was how he openly expressed his love to his daughters. How he kept affirming and reassuring us. I never got to closely interact with him as I would have loved, but I could see it with my elder sisters, He was an emotionally present father. I can confidently say that my relationship with my father, though short-lived, has largely contributed to who I am today as a young lady. However, I sometimes struggle with standing up for myself and shy away from conflict, and this too I believe was contributed by the gap I got after I lost my Dad as a girl getting to her teenage years. So does a girl need their father while growing up? My answer to this is yes they do because as Mothers, a father's role can never be ignored in their daughter's life.
An Insight Into the Beautiful Bond Between a Father and Daughter BY FAITHLUCY MWANGI
I
t is said that a Father is a girl’s best friend. The role of Fathers and Father figures in their daughters’ life cannot be ignored. Fathers are role models, are a source of reassurance, they lay a foundation of how their daughters should be treated, they shape their daughters’ self-esteem, values, careers, relationships, self-image, and their opinions of men. A strong, positive father-daughter relationship can have a very huge impact on a girl’s life and to a large extent will determine whether she will grow into a strong and confident woman. Michael Austin, associate professor of philosophy at Eastern Kentucky University and editor of Fatherhood-Philosophy for everyone: The Dao says, “How Dad approaches life will serve as an example for his daughter on how to build her own life, even if she chooses a different view of the world,”. I talked to Nicole Onyanch a student at JKUAT, a community enthusiast and a mental health advocate about the relationship she has with her father since she was a young girl and how this formed her as a lady.
A father and his son - Photo by Canva
22 | CONVO MAGAZINE
How Essential is a Fathers Role in a Ladies Life?
What do you think about Fathers and Daughter?
I think it is one of the most important things in a girl’s life. Especially in future when ladies are entering the social setting and forming families and relationships. I don't know if you hear this thing where people say, you know, Daddy Issues. A lot of women and ladies have daddy issues because their fathers moved away from their families. This cycle and the fact that the person who was supposed to be an example to them is not there, they will feel abandoned and most probably carry that to their relationships. This may affect their self-esteem.
He's the most supportive human being I have ever met. He is more than just a father. Even if he was not my father, the love he has for me, I am sure would be enough.
How can you describe your relationship with your dad? Well, I come from a family with mom and dad. Both my parents have been quite good, really quiet. They were present in every of our siblings' live. Every time we had a competition, they showed up. When I had my first video show, he put the poster up on groups on Facebook, WhatsApp, and Instagram. He posted in all his contacts. They are very supportive. Half of my childhood, my father was the typical African father, But we were not close. He was not necessarily a bad father. He just did not know how to show love to us as his children because he felt he was doing what he is supposed to do as a father in an African home. And then, somewhere around class seven, I do not know how he suddenly became more involved in my life. He now started becoming more present and involved. We also stopped feeling scared of him, he became more approachable, more loving, more caring. The bond started to grow between us and him. I personally would say we both share a love of music. He loves music as much as I do. I remember just sitting together in the sitting-room listening to music. I am a musician and I love music. He keeps asking, are you putting out new music? When is the next live show? What do you need? Can I buy you something? So, he's the most supportive human being I have ever met. He is more than just a father. Even if he was not my father, the love he has for me, I am sure would be enough.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 23
Nicole Onyanch
What are the highlights of your relationship with your father? The first thing that I remember at the top of my head is when I finished high school and when I was younger, I did not have the best self-esteem. Every young girl suffers from selfesteem issues, especially when they are growing. I had to cut a lot of weight. I did not understand my body quite well. I always thought that I was good at hiding myself because I was confident and that I would never allow people to see me and that I did not love myself. In one way or another, my father was the only person who saw through my imagination. We had a mirror on the door. I was just there, and I cannot remember what I was doing. My father just passed from his room, and he made a comment that has never left my mind till today, he was like, “you do know you are beautiful, you are not acting”. It was just that one comment, but it made me think about too many things. So, I started thinking, how did you know that? I have never said that to anyone? I have never made people think that I do not love my body and that I do not love myself. In my first live show he came with my mom, and he was dancing in front of everyone
Always remember, God is your father
Tell us about the impact of a disciplinarian dad.
I was not such a rebellious child. My parents basically were not that strict. What I received from my father was pressure to be perfect because he held me to such a high standard. As much as that would push me to do great things in life, I was also afraid of disappointing him as my father. His expectations for me were just too high. He may be doing this subconsciously, probably not even knowing that they put so much pressure on me. I admire how my dad lives his life, how he treats people out there. I think I also took that from him.
What do you think could be done better to enhance a Father Daughter Bond? Fathers need to be more open to showing love to their children. They should not stop at providing and protecting. They need to ask, “what more do I need to do?” They need to be open to forming those relationships at a very young age. You know, beyond buying my child a TV, having a physical bond is even very important because it is what will create the emotional bond. Have time with your child, when you change their diapers, when you play with them, before you realize it, you have formed that physical and emotional bond. And now, once they grow up, it will be so easy to connect.
What’s your advice to girls without Fathers or with absent dads?
There is no single right way to maintain father-daughter relationships, there is no, rule book as to how fathers should relate to their daughters. The first thing somebody should do in that position is to accept that is where you are. That is maybe life just telling you the bad side of the book. Do not blame yourself for it because a lot of people do that. I think therapy is very necessary, something that people do not talk about and do not consider. A therapist can help you understand what experiences you went through in your past and if they contributed to your present behaviors. My heart goes out to any girl who did not have an opportunity to grow up with a father. It is well, you have not missed out. You can get a father figure; it does not matter how old you are, and always remember, God is your father.
What do you think is the significance of having a father or a father figure in a lady’s life? A father or a father figure is essential in a basic family. So much as, your mother might love you, you will always want to have a father figure in your life as a lady. Once you miss this, and once you grow up and start forming relationships, you either become very insecure or very anxious. You know anything about attachment styles? A Father forms or gives a form of support and identity to a lady. Most ladies who grew up without fathers struggle with their relationships with men because they think they do not receive love or even when they receive it they are scared that it might go away. Fatherly love contributes a lot to how you will start on relationships. I learned how a woman should be treated through how my dad treated by mom.
Nicole Onyanch
24 | CONVO MAGAZINE
OF DAD AND THE BIKE By Fridah Wachira
D
ad was so strict with me, but he is the person I admire and adore most ever since I was a little girl. I grew up believing that my Dad can do absolutely anything.
I remember so vividly the day he bought a brand-new motorbike. I was a teenager then. Not only that, but I remember asking him where he had learned to ride a bike, and he answered that there was nothing in the whole world that is difficult for him to learn.
Fridah with her father
CONVO MAGAZINE | 25
Fridah Wachira riding a motorbike
I was excited every time he sat on that bike and rode off. I would wait till he comes home and often times offer to clean the bike. One day, I was sitting on the bike, and he was ready to go. He asked if I would like to give it a try, but I was hesitant. I told him that I couldn't do it because I was a girl. He hated that I thought that there were certain things I was incapable of because of my gender. He decided to confront that attitude by teaching me how to ride. Furthermore, he would sit behind me and place his gentle hands on my tiny hands and guide me. When he was sure that I was in control, he would assure me that as long as he was seated behind me nothing would go wrong, then he would slowly let go. The classes went on until I could comfortably ride the bike without him.
Throughout my childhood and young adult life, my Dad strived to teach me that there is nothing so difficult to do as long as I can convince my mind into it. He encouraged me to compete with the boys in my class and not to use my gender as an excuse if any of them beat me at anything. I love bikes. Riding them makes me feel close to my father, and it reminds me that nothing is impossible under the sun. He has always pushed me to be the best at everything I do. Thanks to his efforts and presence, I am now a doctor who is not yet done dreaming. Fatherhood is a precious gift, especially for a girl. I thank God for mine, Mr. Anthony Wachira Nderu
THE WRECK THAT IS MODERN MARRIAGES.
WHAT EVERY WOMAN MUST KNOW By Betty Kariuki, a lawyer and legal researcher.
I
n the words of Justice Patrick Kiage, a Court of Appeal judge, “the field of love is littered with the wreckage of many a broken heart. The tears that have flowed, in the wake of betrayal … are beyond reckoning.”
This is the truth that most, if not all of us, refuse to acknowledge. A statistical analysis by the Kenya National Bureau of Statistics (KNBS) shows an immense increase in the rate of marriage dissolution over the last five years. Another report by the Nairobi Wire published in 2020 shows that the rate of divorce was 10.5% in 2015 as compared to 17.7% in 2020.
It is sad that even as most people “settle” in marriage with their presumed “lovers of their life”, they are not immune to the bitterness that comes with divorce, the heated court battles and fear of loss of hard-earned property; the tears and ache that these “lovers of their life” cause them. Not to forget, children are forced to adapt to situations far from what they were accustomed to. What strikes me as hardest to heal from, is the cruelty, “strangeness,” and emotional pain. People barely recognize who they were then (when marrying) and now (when all they see are shortcomings of the other person.). Even though all these transitions are hard to predict, whether you will end up divorcing or not, you
Betty Kariuki
Have an opportunity to protect your material interests, to ensure your financial stability post-divorce. In this article, I will tell you how. Woman! Buckle up! As a woman, you must know the following: A marriage is not a marriage unless it is recognized and registered. The Marriage Act, 2014 regulates marriages in Kenya and provides that there are four types of marriages. These include, civil marriages, customary marriages, Christian marriages and Muslim marriages. Importantly, when a person enters either of these marriages, they must have a Marriage Certificate which is issued upon registration of the marriage as evidence of the marriage. The time is long gone for common marriage set-ups known as “come-westay” where parties cohabit without formalizing their unions. While you might have lived with your presumed spouse in a presumed marriage, without this certificate, a court of law may find that no marriage exists. To avoid this, register your marriage and get that Marriage Certificate. You have a right to own property in your name. Article 40 of the Constitution of Kenya, 2010 provides for the right to own property, either individually or in association with others. Article 27 further recognizes the equality of all persons, male or female, which
26 | CONVO MAGAZINE
IS PRE-NUPTIAL AN OPTION? Thus also applies when a person wishes to own property. Contrary to the traditional practices where men owned and controlled everything in homes, the Constitution allows women to hold property even within their marriages. In recognizing that modern families have spouses contributing equally to matrimonial property, joint ownership of such acquired property is also essential. Such type of ownership bars the need of proof of contribution if the spouses later fail to agree on whom the owner is. To reiterate, be unafraid to establish your role in acquiring, maintaining and preserving matrimonial property. Marriage is not one of the ways of acquiring property. Again, in the “field of love” before it is “littered with wreckage,” as Justice Kiage puts it, people have a tendency of “marrying rich,” that is, marrying for money or property. In fact, in the traditional African society, rich and wealthy men were top-tier suitors. There is a notion that what belongs to one spouse belongs to the other and vice versa. Such sentiments appear reasonable, kind, and loving, at least while on the “field of love”. Unfortunately, this is far from the truth when the marriage turns sour and divorce kicks in. The law requires that for any contested matrimonial property, each party must prove their contribution to the same.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 27
Therefore, as a woman, you must always remember that marriage is not one of the ways of acquiring property. Lastly, do not shy away from prenuptial agreements. The Matrimonial Property Act, 2013 provides that parties intending to enter into a marriage may enter into an agreement to determine their property rights prior to the marriage. Basically, prenuptial agreements help parties to an intended marriage to protect property they acquired before the marriage. The agreement is an essential platform that helps parties voice what they would wish to happen to such property if the marriage comes to an end. For instance, they might agree that such property shall not consist of matrimonial property as it was acquired before the marriage. While we recognize that modern marriages reveal a tendency of failure, it would be unwise to have both your emotions and finances left in an unrecoverable situation. At the very least, you can protect your property and finances. Therefore, consider the above options and protect that which is a result of your sweat and toil.
Convo HeMatters
HIS MONEY HIS FAMILY HIS HEALTH HIS SPIRITUALITY
Because He Matters CONVO | ENCOURAGING CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER 28 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Why men rarely seek medical attention
Most men do not seek medical attention for fear an embarrassing diagnosis and sometimes because of the stigma, many men believe: that they should be strong enough to handle things on their own. Fridah, a medical professional shares more. By Fridah Wachira Medical Doctor
A
As a fifth-year medical student, I got an opportunity to do an elective program in internal medicine in one of my favorite hospitals. On day one, the internal medicine consultant took me through the orientation process and gave me a tour around the hospital. When we got to the wards he stood in the corridor pointed to the male and female wards which were facing each other and said to me, “Women come to hospital when they are sick, but men come to hospital when they are dying. That explains why we have more patients in the female ward and few but sicker patients in the male ward.” To be honest, I had never thought about men and their alleged poor health seeking behaviors before that day. I have a few questions for you, my reader: Why are men so hesitant when it comes to seeking health care? Is there anything we can do about it? I had a discussion with a few of my male friends and asked them why they don’t like going to hospital. Allow me to share the few responses I got;
1.The man has more pressing needs to take care of One of my friends told me that his poor health seeking behaviors are purely as a result of his misaligned priorities. He said that he might forget his annual health checkup or ignore his body because he needs to take care of his family and make sure there is food on the table. Health insurance might not be his first priority when his children are hungry or sent home for school fees. The man has a lot of things and people to take care of, such that his health has now become a luxury he might not always afford.
2.The way society views a man There are certain societal roles and ideologies that our society has imposed on the man that discourage him from asking for help. Growing up, a boy child is taught that being a man means being strong. Unfortunately, the society’s definition of being strong is either incomplete or wanting. The boy child is also taught to endure as much pain as he can without complaining or whining. Statements like, ‘a man doesn’t cry’ or ‘a man sheds tears from the inside’, have done more harm than good. As a result of this unhealthy mindsets and thought patterns, we have men who do not seek healthcare or most who come to hospital when their symptoms are so far gone and out of control. It is therefore not an individual problem, but a creation of our own society. We might need to redefine what it really means to be a man and to be strong.
3.There is little education about men’s health As opposed to women’s health, there are very few conversations around a man’s health. Therefore, the man has little knowledge and doesn’t know what exactly to look out for and how to prevent diseases. I also encourage every man to consider seeking information about their health as early as possible. We have a long way to go in terms of “HIS HEALTH” but I believe we will get there eventually.
Fridah Wachira with Scrubs
CONVO MAGAZINE | 29
2. Support system Every man is a carer and a caregiver. It is a man’s role to take care and provide for his family, but who takes care of him? We need to encourage men to make sure that they are not walking alone. Every man needs a strong social and emotional support. Being a lone ranger does not make a man stronger, but it leaves him exposed and vulnerable to a lot of attacks. It is also important to encourage women to be conscious of the fact that if we are not intentional about taking care of the men in our lives, then we will eventually lose them. If you are a wife, check on your husband’s health from time to time. Encourage him to lead a healthy lifestyle. Create a healthy environment for him at home. If you are a mother raising boys, teach them to make their health a priority as early as possible.
A Man in Hospital - By Canva
Is there anything we can do about this sad situation? I believe there is still a lot we can do to encourage health seeking behaviors among men.
1.Mentorship at societal level As a society, we need to take some steps back and undo the damage we have done to the boy child. The boy child needs assurance that it is okay to ask for help. He needs to believe that admitting that he is unwell or weak does not make him less of a man. We need fathers who will set an example for the boy child by visiting the doctor when they are unwell, admitting that they are feeling overwhelmed and being open about their scars and conditions.
If you are a wife, check on your husband’s health from time to time. Encourage him to lead a healthy lifestyle.
3. Health education I would encourage every health care worker to take every opportunity they get to educate the man about his health. It does not have to be in a formal set up. As a health care worker, seek to empower your male friends with knowledge about their health.
30 | CONVO MAGAZINE
WHY YOU NEED TO MIND YOUR HEALTH EACH DAY AS A MAN father and son - Photo from Canva
The average male life expectancy is five years less than females, but why? Peter Ouma, a nurse by training breaks some critical health areas a man need to pay attention to ensure they prolong their lives. BY PETER OUMA - NURSE
M
ost men are ignoring symptoms of ailments and are also poor medical attention seekers. Statistics shows that very few men are deliberately pursuing medical consultations, which has made men more prevalent to most debilitating diseases compared to women.
Unlike Women, many men have tendency of hiding feelings of depression or to present them differently than women. This greatly reduces their lifespan due to contraction of illnesses at a younger age. The bad news is that the average man pays less attention to his health than the average woman. The good news is that men can be healthy by taking control of their lifestyle. Whether by eating better, quitting bad habits like smoking or getting regular checkups.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 31
MENTAL HEALTH
Depression is a common illness worldwide, with an estimated 3.8% of the population affected, including 5.0% among adults and 5.7% among adults older than 60 years (1). Approximately 280 million people in the world have depression (1). Depression is different from usual mood fluctuations and short-lived emotional responses to challenges in everyday life. Especially when recurrent and with moderate or severe intensity, depression may become a serious health condition. (WHO 2021). For instance, a research done in 2014 on prevalence of depression among university students in Kenya. The overall prevalence of moderate depressive symptoms was 35.7% (33.5% males and 39.0% females) and severe depression was 5.6% (5.3% males and 5.1% female). Males were high on severe depression. In most cases, depression in men is unnoticed because the symptoms sometimes do not match what many expects or even themselves.
Men can experience depression as anger or irritability rather than sadness as the community expects and they are more likely to keep these feelings under rugs. It is believed that depression affect women far more than men. Unlike Women, many men have tendency of hiding feelings of depression or to present them differently than women. When it comes to mental health issues like anxiety and depression, men are reluctant to seek help which significantly increases the risk of suicidal behaviors. There is also a misconception and stigma associated with mental health problems especially among men in the society. Some of the ways to combat depression in men includes; ·communicating openly with family and friends. ·Noting or writing down your thoughts. ·Getting regular exercises. ·Seeking professional help.
HEART DISEASES
RESPIRATORY DISEASES
Heart diseases comes in many forms and all of its forms can lead to serious and fatal complications if undetected early. Like a car engine routine checkup can keep your heart beating well. The American Heart Association states that more than one in three adult men have some form of cardiovascular diseases and according to the source African – American men accounts for more cardiovascular deaths than Caucasian men. Cardiovascular or heart diseases is a group of illnesses that is involving the heart and the blood vessels. It includes high blood pressure (hypertension), coronary artery disease, heart attacks, heart failure, heart valve problems, and abnormal heart rhythms.
Like any other ailments, respiratory diseases interfere with the organs related to breathing. Some of these respiratory issues in men are due to occupational Hazards. Since most men are the breadwinners, hazardous work related environment expose and increases their risks and chances of contracting respiratory diseases. According to the American Lung Association, each year, more men are diagnosed with and develop lung cancer than in years past. African-American men have a higher risk of dying from the disease compared to other racial or ethnic groups.
With diabetes, it usually sets in without showing any signs. It raises blood sugar levels and eventually passed into the urine. Increased urination and thirst are the first visible signs of diabetes. High glucose acts as a slow poison on blood vessels and nerves in the entire body
PETER OUMA - NURSE
Now that you know some few health risks that affect men, the next step is to become proactive about your health. It’s time to change, and change is the Choice. “C to C” choice for change and change for choice.
An average man underrates positive behaviors and good healthy heart practices, due to this attitude, most men are at a risk of contracting cardiovascular illnesses and diabetes. With lifestyle modifications and routine checkups your doctor can calculate your Risk for cardiovascular diseases based on several risk factors like your cholesterol levels and blood pressure.
Now that you know some few health risks that affect men, the next step is to become proactive about your health. It’s time to change, and change is the Choice. “C to C” choice for change and change for choice. A man exercising- Photo from Canva
32 | CONVO MAGAZINE
A couple playing with their baby - Canva
PostPartum Depression: What can men do? By Fridah Wachira Medical Doctor
M
en have a crucial role to play in battling postpartum depression. No one can, rather, should battle any disease alone. A support system goes a long way. Most of the stories/testimonies shared by women who have overcome PPD, have one thing in common; support. For some it was the husband, for others a family member or a friend or a support group.
People battling any kind of mental illness often feel lost and even though in most cases they are withdrawn, they just pray that someone would find them. We had a conversation at Convo with Francis Gachoki, a husband and a father of 3 boys, who shared with us five ways in which a man/husband can help fight PPD.
Be present One of the factors that puts women at risk of PPD is lack of social support or strained marital relationship. Most men, do not believe that they should be so involved in the entire pregnancy journey. Most consider the results of the pregnancy to be more important than the journey. A man ought to be present through the whole journey; right from conception, through the pregnancy, during delivery and after delivery.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 33
This can range from interviews, product reviews, human interest pieces, and even lists. Think about what your audience would be interested in and get writing! Be vigilant Majority of the diseases we encounter can be treated or avoided if people knew about them. A good number of them can be treated if caught early; this is true even for cancer. If you, as a husband, catch some symptoms of PPD early, you’ll have helped to end a vicious cycle. It really helps to address the issues early. Don’t ignore, assume or avoid any anxieties or worries that your wife may have. Be well-informed This should have been at the top of the list. We cannot really fight something that we do not know. You cannot identify that a woman is experiencing postpartum depression if you do not know the symptoms. If the woman has any other underlying condition, seek to know more about it and whether or how it affects the pregnancy. Accompany your wife to the antenatal clinic or postnatal clinics whenever you can. Ask questions and raise any concerns you might have during those clinic visits.
Be prepared It is important to know what to expect during and after the pregnancy. Prepare for the events ahead in advance. Prepare financially as well. If there is a medical complication, talk to the doctor and ask what to expect. It always helps the patient when you are informed and in-charge as a caregiver.
Be positive Pregnancy is not a disease, and it would be wrong for us to talk about it as if it were. It is a journey that is travelled and experienced differently by every woman. Some pregnant women do get sick, but this is not ideal. My point here is, it is for a season, and every season that begins will definitely come to an end.
ANDRO-PAUSE Andropause is a syndrome associated with a decrease in sexual satisfaction or a decline in a feeling of general wellbeing with low levels of testosterone in older man.
BY DIANA ORITO WELNESS AND FITNESS COACH trainwithdianaok@gmail.com
A
ging is a natural part of Life, with it comes a number of changes which are good or bad it happens to be hormonal in nature. What is Andropause? Is a syndrome associated with decrease in sexual satisfaction or decline in the general well-being due to low level of testosterone levels in older men?
"Unlike menopause in women, Andropause doesn’t inhibit a man’s fertility, also not all men MUST experience Andropause.
Diana - A Sports Scientist
Signs and symptoms; 1. Baldness & thinning of hair 2. Erectile Dysfunction 3. Hot flashes 4. Low muscle mass 5. Increase in body fat 6. Low energy and mood swings
From 30 years & above, men experience a slow decrease of 1-2% of testosterone levels per year. Men begin experiencing the symptoms as the levels decrease. The symptoms are similar to other health conditions. A blood test is required to determine testosterone levels. N/B—Unlike menopause in women, Andropause doesn’t inhibit a man’s fertility, also not all men MUST experience Andropause. How to increase testosterone levels Exercise at least 3 times in a week, weight training and high Interval Training Leads to release of growth hormones which boost testosterone levels. Eat healthy sources of protein, fat, and carbohydrates. Proteins maintain healthy testosterone levels and builds on muscle mass which aids in fat loss which is beneficial too. Minimize stress which leads to high cortisol levels which reduce testosterone levels. You do this by distinguishing what is within your control and what’s not, learning problem-solving skills. Note that no problem has no solution, except death. Get some sun or take vitamin D supplements, which boost testosterone levels.
A photo of an aging man - Canva
34 | CONVO MAGAZINE
MEN'S DIET & HEALTH
A man doing push ups - Photo from Canva
By Sylvia Musinzi Msc Nutrition
T CONVO MAGAZINE | 35
he diets people eat, in all their cultural variety, define to a large extent people’s health, growth, and development. The nutrition requirement among the population differ with age and gender of the individual. Men, regardless of age, need a balanced diet to provide them with enough nutrition. Simply said, nutrition is the process of obtaining the nutrients we require for health and growth from our diet. A healthy diet is the appropriate selection of foods and beverages for that process to be successful.
Men's physical and mental needs, as well as their lifestyles and risk of disease, must all be met by a balanced diet. Additionally, a healthy diet helps reduce the risk of chronic diseases including heart disease, type 2 diabetes, cancer, as well as mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Since the pandemic, men are much more conscious of their health, which is a good thing. Apart from nutrition, men’s wellness is also an important consideration. One of the medical condition that is spreading quickly over the world is male infertility. Numerous factors can cause this issue. However, it is critical to note that healthcare, medical, and diet specialists all concur that diet has a big impact, particularly on sperm count. Men can increase their sperm count without using pills, drugs, or allopathic therapies by making a few easy dietary modifications. Your performance in life as a whole is significantly impacted by how active you are, how wellbalanced your food is, and what kinds of supplements you take.
Mackerels
TAKE AWAYS Diet – The simplest way to maintain a healthy physique is to eat well and provide the body with the necessary nutrients. Men should consume more of the following four nutrients on a regular basis: magnesium, vitamin D, potassium, and fiber. Considering each nutritional requirement separately is the best approach to be sure you are meeting them all. It is absurd to consider consuming everything at once in the hopes of improving one's health overnight. Being patient is the key. Consult your doctor, understand your body's needs, and then start down the path to better health and fitness. Regular check-up—One of the best things men can do for their own welfare is to periodically have a physical or wellness check, regardless of their age or history of health. Blood pressure, glucose, and cholesterol should all be tested as part of the general physical examination. It's crucial to pay attention to any changes in your bathroom or sleeping schedule. Remember that many significant health illnesses first appear as mild problems that, if detected in time, would have been avoided or treated appropriately. Instead of assuming you can just “tough it out,” make an investment in your long-term health by discussing any potential health issues with your doctor.
Sylvia Musinzi - Msc Nutrition Genetics - If your father or other family members have a history of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, or other chronic illnesses, you may be more prone to develop some chronic health issues. Your doctor can help you develop a strategy to lower those risks and increase your chances of early detection. Relax! - Taking regular breaks to play golf, attend a football game, or watch TV with your family is one of the best methods to handle stress. If you find it difficult to find time for leisure, consider finding inventive ways to unwind, such as tending to the garden or listening to audiobooks and podcasts on your commute. Keep fit – 30 minutes is the recommended amount of exercise per day. However, if you're having trouble finding time for exercise, remember that even a brisk 20-minute walk with your spouse a few times per week, or routine outside play with your kids or grandchildren, can be good for your heart and lower stress.
36 | CONVO MAGAZINE
MENTAL HEALTH: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE? In the words of Charles Spurgeon, “the mind can descend far lower than the body, for in it there are bottomless pits. The flesh can bear only a certain number of wounds and no more, but the soul can bleed in ten thousand ways and die over and over again each hour. Doug reminds us what need to be done and tell us where the cure truly lies. BY DOUG KANJA
MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE
I
n the words of Charles Spurgeon “the mind can descend far lower than the body, for in it there are bottomless pits. The flesh can bear only a certain number of wounds and no more, but the soul can bleed in ten thousand ways and die over and over again each hour. Mental health has made it to the headlines numerous times. It's the hot new topic in town. So much so that social media and surprisingly TikTok content creators want to have a go at it too. Who knows how long this will be worth talking about, maybe until we become aware of a new crisis and all our attention and generic activism shifts to it. People seem to have the attention span of a goldfish when it comes to the things that matter. The church isn't falling behind in this new round of activism. But unlike the world, the Church is a lifeline. How we respond to the issues that are ailing society could determine whether these issues get addressed. The alternative is to put it on hold until Gen Z or the one that comes after solves it. However, with these things, this might be the end of the road for humanity, but hope is never lost. Unlike the world, what is happening now isn't catching God by surprise. He is not the architect of the troubles of this world and sickness therein, whether physical or mental (sin is). He certainly hasn't been complicit by ignoring it. Christ is not delusional about the realities of this world, but are his followers?
CONVO MAGAZINE | 37
IS THERE ANY CASE OF MENTAL ILLNESS IN THE BIBLE? I'm not a psychiatrist, but it is apparent to me that there are various cases of mental illness in scripture. Job could have been suicidal and Paul may have battled depression. Scripture is not lacking in people that were dealing with depression and anxiety.
Church Building
Illnesses of the mind can present themselves in several ways, such as; mood disorders such as depression to bipolar. Anxiety disorders, personality disorders, psychotic disorders (such as schizophrenia) eating disorders and many more, some of which we don't have names for yet. Believers have unfortunately also been affected by this undeclared pandemic. It begs the question, is it time for exorcism or a more radical form of healing? The influence of dark forces is undeniable. I would be a fool not to acknowledge that dark spirits are working towards bringing torment and misery into our lives. Their influence may go unnoticed by mere man, but to the believers, we are well aware of what they are doing, and if there is one thing my “little faith” assures me is that they can have no hold over me unless I let them to. The light that is Christ shines in darkness and darkness can’t overcome dwells within me. I wouldn't spend much time wallowing in fear of that which is defeated.
SCRIPTURE IS NOT LACKING IN PEOPLE THAT WERE DEALING WITH DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY.
THE CHURCH SPACE THE CHURCH IN MENTAL HEALTH There have been a lot of stigmas surrounding mental illnesses. My sixteen-year-old self would have pictured a person facing mental health as the guy we see in the village in tatters, who could use a haircut. These would be the kind that would be hurling insults at everyone that dares to look at them. A mere touch from them would have prompted me to take a long shower and possibly even use bleach to get the stain off, but now having known Christ and his plan for humanity, I am convinced that even they are not exempt from his promise of healing. For a believer, challenges such as depression or anxiety or any form of mental disorder, and getting through this cycle can be a daunting challenge. Society and ourselves expect our mental state to be stable, for lack of a better word. Tranquility despite the situation is expected. Anything short of this, we declare ourselves weak and lacking in faith. Talking about it is not an option either for most. Fear of losing their job, fear of losing their platform, fear of losing their voice, fear of losing respect from their peers is all a reality.
We find hope in this, God was not oblivious to their troubles, nor did he shrug them off as ungrateful. He does what any good father does when their children are in crisis and delivers them from whatever pit they fall into. He has proven to be a comforter and healer. Deliverer and so much more. He is everything that we need. The church's mandate is to be the instrument through which God’s plan is accomplished in the world. God is not afraid of addressing these issues, neither should the Church. Some credit can go to the church in the battle against mental instability. There are a lot of clergies who are trained counselors and psychologists, offering services to their congregants at no fee. That's a good start. It is well within the capacity of every believer, not just the clergy, to help in alleviating the stigma around mental health. It's more of a duty than a suggestion. We are to be each other's keepers, praying for each other, encouraging each other and helping humanity experience the peace that is Christ. We don't have to get a degree to be effective, the mind of Christ is ours, and therefore we are equipped to handle whatever issue is facing humanity, if we don't, we risk being complicit in the world's attempt to oppress the children of God. It can't though, we have assured victory in Christ and as the riches of his kingdom are constantly revealed unto us, we can rest our hope in him and the incorruptible promises that are in him. The Church has been given peace that surpasses all understanding, it's about time we share it with the world.
38 | CONVO MAGAZINE
DOCTOR'S BENCH
A platform where we can share our experiences as patients, health care workers and caregivers
Your health our priority An Initiative of Wachira Fridah Medical Doctor promoting health seeking behaviors
CONVO | ENCOURAGING CONVERSATIONS THAT MATTER CONVO MAGAZINE | 39
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH? I would define mental wellness as the ability to be fit psychologically, socially, emotionally and even physically. Generally being in a good state of mind and body BY ESTHER MATILI Mental Health Advocate
I
t is so sad how people overlook mental illness in today’s generation. Calling someone crazy, mad, lunatic or even abnormal can be so detrimental to their lives.
Many of us are reasons for successful suicide missions without knowing, because of how we talk to people and what we say to people in the name of joking. Have you ever been with a friend for a day, then the next day you hear they are no more? Well, just because my neighbor is smiling on the outside does not mean they are ok on the inside. Mental illness may not be visible on the outside, and hence lots of people tend to overlook the fact that others may be hurting from the inside.
ESTHER MATILI Mental Health Advocate
Mental illness, also known as mental health disorders, is a health condition that affects one's thinking ability, emotions, social life and behavior. Some examples of mental illness include: depression, stress, anxiety, addictive behaviors, eating disorders and so many more. Such people are always experiencing body pains, fatigue, avoidance, discrimination, low selfesteem and even lack of emotions, hence such conditions can impact someone’s ability to relate to others.
So, why is mental health so important? 1. Memory and concentration: it is impossible for one to stay focused when under stress and depression. It leads to forgetfulness and confusion. When mentally unstable, one tends to forget the most important things, some forget where they are, the way to their homes, where they packed their cars and even what they were to say in cases of important meetings, it impairs your information processing abilities and your decision-making skills. This affects one’s performance at work, hence lowering productivity. For the students and learners, lack of concentration and attention affects their performance in school activities, hence lowering school’s mean grades and individual’s performance. It also affects productivity in extracurricular activities such as athletics, bringing about low and poor performances.
2 Mental illness affects physical health. Since the mind and the body are connected, most of mental instability leads to stress disorder and depression which lowers the body immune system hence increasing chances of being infected with diseases and sicknesses as any doctor would tell you. Depression can come with headaches, fatigues, and problems with digestion. Anxiety on the other hand can lead to upset stomachs, insomnia, restlessness, and even difficulties in concentration. According to WHO, most of the disabilities among youths are caused by mental illnesses. 3. Social life: as said earlier, mental illness affects how we act and behave, it affects how we cope with life, how we relate to people and the environment. It leads to low selfesteem hence chaining one to selfcondemnation, dis-appreciation and self-distrust which disrupts a person’s communication and interaction with others. We lose value in the things we once enjoyed, we lose value and develop a negative attitude in the people we love or the people who care about us and the environment we live in, everything around us lacks meaning hence leading to avoidance and Isolation. 4. Stigma: this is when someone sees you in a negative way because of mental illness. When one is mentally fit and stable, they create good and positive vibes towards and with the people around them. And because of the negativity in a person suffering from mental illness, there tend to be social discrimination and stigmatization. No one wants to associate with a negative minded and bitter person. And due to stigmatization, it becomes difficult for someone to get help or treatment.
Basing on the above, do you see why it is important to stay mentally fit? Therefore, it is healthy and good to seek help when you are mentally unstable? Keep close and trustworthy relationships where you can talk and express yourself without being judged. It is ok to cry, it is ok to find an open place and shout, it is ok to seek psychological therapy, so, let us fight this monster together.
40 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Autism A man holding a baby - Canva Images
What is Autism
BY MAGGY ZACHARY Co-founder @Orchid Therapy
S
pecial needs mean a wide range of categories that makes an individual operate uniquely. Everyone has a different way of doing things and this includes one with special needs. Some of the categories of special needs include Autism, Dyslexia, ADHD, Hearing Impairment, Visual Impairment, Down syndrome, multiple disability and many others. Today let’s unravel, create awareness and understand more about Autism.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 41
Have you ever met a child, probably talking to herself or himself? Or throwing all kinds of tantrums when they are not given what they want? Or even hitting themselves allover? Have you met one who cannot talk while looking at you, one who avoids eye contact? Or even one who want to stay alone, thus very poor with social interaction? Then you might have come across a person who is Autistic. We may not have the exact definition of this term but from what we have learned for a long time and by interacting with people living with Autism then we conclude that Autism is a developmental disorder that impairs the ability to communicate or interact. This condition impacts the nervous system. In short terms, an Autistic person grows with the challenge to communicate or express his or her want in the simplest language we would expect. But since we are all unique in our own ways, this people have the strength of one thing or another, so let no one look down on them. No one needs sympathy but a lifting hand to achieve and become, so is people living with Autism.
an Autistic person grows with the challenge to communicate or express his or her want in the simplest language we would expect.
How can I tell if my child is Autistic? Some signs of autism in a child will include; Social skill or interaction is not among the strengths of one with autism, they have difficulty expressing this skill. Autistic children in the initial stages may not respond to their names. They most of the time avoid eye contact People with autism tend to get very upset if they do not like certain things like taste, smell, or food Repetitive behavior like flapping their hands, flicking their fingers, shaking their head and even swaying their body is among the body movements that they use to express themselves or even pass a certain message. Autistic children will tend to repeat the same word or a sentence, and also they are not as talkative as their peers. These are some signs of an autistic child though they still vary from one child to another.
Dealing with Autism Autism cannot be treated, but it can be managed. For one to manage a condition, early intervention of the same must be advocated for. When one is diagnosed with autism, do not pity oneself, but think of the possible actions you can take to create a brighter future for them. Some encouraged interventions include engaging an occupational therapist, music therapy, engaging in social stories, introducing them to sign language for the sake of communication, behavioral education, nutritionist, and medications. Early interventions help in management, because that is when the behavior in a child is molded. Some engagements done are intended to reduce symptoms, support development, and improve learning.
A young boy holding a Tab
In 2021, the CDC reported that approximately 1 in 44 children in the U.S. is diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), according to 2018 data. Boys are four times more likely to be diagnosed with autism than girls.
Autism is not the end of the world; this people are abled differently. They perform the same activities we do, but in different format. I think the results sometimes are important than the how, so embrace them and support them with everything that you have because you are their custodians. And won’t you be a faithful custodian?
Let’s create awareness so that the whole world will be in a position to know and provide the necessary support and avoid the gaze when they meet with them in the malls. Someone said; “Your autistic child is a little human being, with thoughts, ideas, and interest that may differ from yours and that is ok. Allow them to play in their own ways.”
Everyone is gifted differently, some of these kids can perform music very well they tend to sing a lot and love singing, just embrace this and support this talent. Others are genius when it comes to numbers they can perform some math’s problems as young as they can be, look for ways to support this and encourage them when it comes to numbers, and they will grow up doing wonders.
Let’s all embrace neurodiversity, this world is for everyone to fit in and things change so fast.
42 | CONVO MAGAZINE
ORCHID THERAPY
Orchid therapy is an organization that works with children with special needs as well as parents of children with special needs. Orchid Therapy offer assessment that is not for diagnosis, but to identify the strengths and weaknesses of a child. We had a catch-up with the founder, Hannah Gitaka, and this is what she had to say.
F
or a long time, it has been defined by many people over the years as disability. For me, disability is in the mind. If you set yourself to do something, you will find the means.
In that case, the physical, mental and psychological limitations that special needs are associated with cannot define a willing soul. To wrap it up, everyone is capable of doing something. We were all born for a purpose which we are indebted to fulfill. What are the categories of special needs? There are so many categories of special needs that vary from physical, autism spectrum disorders, down syndrome, global developmental, learning disabilities and cerebral palsy just to mention a few. At what age do you diagnose special needs? Some cases can be detected as early as during pregnancy, while others can be diagnosed as a child starts to develop. There have been many cases of diagnosis in adulthood, especially if it’s mild or not physical. Some run through a lifetime without a diagnosis.
What do you do as a parent once you detect some developmental delay?
Hannah Gitaka ORCHID THERAPY founder
CONVO MAGAZINE | 43
Once a parent notices something off with their child, they should visit the hospital for clinical assessment. This is extremely important for the purpose of early intervention. What do you mean when you say early intervention? Early intervention is a measure to stimulate the child for optimum functionality to overcome their areas of difficulty. A team may be needed for it, but it goes a long way in the journey towards independence. There have been many success stories from early intervention as far as special needs is concerned.
They all Bloom Differently
When you talk of a team, what do you mean?
After a clinical assessment is done, further assessments may follow for areas of need. The different professionals and the parents make a team to work together for the good of the child. The team may include a doctor, occupational therapist, physiotherapist, special needs' consultant, nutritionist, neurologist, and so many others depending on the child’s needs. This is where Orchid Therapy Center comes in.
Tell us more about Orchid Therapy Center? Orchid therapy is an organization that works with children with special needs as well as parents of children with special needs. The organization came about as a result of professionals who worked in the field. They identified the struggle of parents who have children with special needs. Ever since they have offered assessment to children with the team that has special needs teachers, occupational therapist and physiotherapist. We focus on the needs and strengths of a child. We use the strengths to stimulate and improve the needs. Our services range from assessment, early intervention, speech stimulation, sensory integration, behavior management, ADL and IAD Ls training, vocational transition training, homeschooling, and advice on placement and further intervention. We work with all ages and all categories of special needs as we transition from one stage to another and finally towards independence of all our clients. We have professionals who have passed through international curriculum that favor our learners and young adults with license to handle in their different areas. The curriculum includes MONTESSORI, which is hands-on interaction with learning materials and environment to enhance literacy and numeracy skills through sensory intervention. We are also familiar with ASDAN curriculum from the United Kingdom that is vocational skill lead, it is meant to guide a learner towards independence and settling into an occupation. I have been a special needs consultant for 8 years now and still counting. I have academic qualifications, but I have learned quite much from my daily experience with the children and other professionals in the field. I have had the privilege to interact with curriculums that favor our children such as ASDAN, Montessori, Vocational skills and sign language for communication with hearing impaired children. I have also interacted with inclusive education program, learning support programs, integration, and they have been eye-openers. Not only that, but I have worked with transition programs and there are many success stories out of all these curriculums and systems. All children deserve the best they can get to pursue their individual lives. I am the founder of Orchid therapy with a very able co-founder Mrs. Margaret who is a special needs consultant, with massive experience in homeschooling, counseling, assessment and consultant. She and I are passionate about special needs developmental and transition towards independence in adulthood. We have a team of professionals such as occupational therapist that we work hand in hand.
How did the name orchid therapy come by? We thought, just as the orchid flower blooms in different seasons and in different colors, the children we serve should grow in their differences and bloom differently.
A Therapy Session
What are your services? We offer assessment that is not for diagnosis, but to identify the strengths and weaknesses of a child. This is meant for us to develop an IEP program that will focus on the strengths to improve the areas of need. We offer homeschooling, shadow teaching, sensory integration, speech stimulation and guidance towards a vocational skill. We design transition plans for learners as they move from one growth spurt to the other and finally into adulthood. We also give referrals that have been tested and proven to help. Furthermore, we create special needs awareness among communities for the purpose of embracing and supporting the differently abled. How can people contact you? We are available on Instagram - orchid therapy254 Facebook - orchid therapy Through our official lines: Founder Hannah : +254720124136. Co-founder Margaret: +254729940623.
44 | CONVO MAGAZINE
WHY BRANDING IS THE ULTIMATE STRATEGIC MOVE FOR YOUR BUSINESS
Branding allows you to build relationships with your audience, which can eventually turn them into loyal customers. You can create a brand that people actually care about and put yourself ahead of businesses that aren't using this to their advantage. It is a strategy you cannot ignore. Lynette shares with us more. Why is branding important?
B
Written by:
Lynette Mwangi MSc Strategic Mgt
CONVO MAGAZINE | 45
randing is one of the most important asset and aspect when it comes to growing and running any business. Most often people take a miss branding to mean the sum of your logo, color palette, or website; though they are integral to a successful branding as a strategy, they are not enough but just the beginning. To stand out, a company needs to go beyond these. Branding revolves around telling people who you are as a company, what you do and how it will benefit them. Simply put, branding is what you promise to give/deliver to your customers. Your brand will tell the customers what to expect from you. Behind every brand is a branding strategy that helps inform the different choices you make as a business. Brands without effective branding strategies can easily become diluted, weak or forgettable. Without a knockout product experience, it is easy for customers to move on rather than commit to a repeat purchase.
1. It distinguishes your product/service from that of the competitors. You are not the only one providing that product or service. But what makes it unique? What makes you stand out? 2. Branding helps you become more recognizable. When customers can identify your company based on physical, visual, auditory elements, it breeds familiarity which makes it more memorable. 3. Branding builds customer loyalty.
What does branding majorly comprise of? There are some key elements that branding consists of; Story, Voice and Values. Story: this is the narrative you use to communicate essential moments in your business' origin story, core beliefs and values, and the purpose of your business. Simply out; reason for existence. Voice: these are the words and phrases a brand uses to communicate with current, new customers or prospective across different marketing channels. This forms the role of having a brand personality. Values: What matters most to the company? Why does the company exist? What is your business actively working to solve or give a solution to in the market? In simple terms; what does the business stand for and why?
"customer feedback is the highest brand." Daisy Osodo, a Customer relations expert and PR & Communications head at Philmax Ventures Ltd which specializes in transit advertising and corporate branding had this to say about branding Branding is not a one-day thing; it is a story, it is a journey because it will continually call you to evolve to a higher place or standard. If you do not tell people who you are, they will tell you who you are. As you go along the journey of branding you discover people are letting you into your needs and everywhere there is a need is an opportunity for your service/product to be out there. Branding involves years of research. You study the consumer’s patterns, behaviors and decide this is the final product I want put out there for them; customer feedback is the highest brand.
What financial implications does branding have in companies in terms of budgeting? Where companies ought to put their finances are getting to know their customers, this is the first step into branding. It is more expensive to not brand. Not branding costs you potential customers and business that would have been acquired if you did brand. As earlier said, branding is a journey and companies especially start-ups don’t have to have it all figured out at a go. Building as you go along really does not cost quite much.
Daisy Ososdo Philmax Ventures
What I would tell small business holders in terms of branding Take time to know your consumer first; you could have a unique idea/product, but there are similar products/services out there. Use that to build a better product/service. Who you are should be based to some extent on who your target customers want and need you to be. Consider consumer feedback as the highest priority when it comes to branding. If you do not tell people who you are, they will tell you who you are.
What is the future of Philmax productions? Our goal in the next few years is to be an all-rounded leading production house and acquire a bigger space in the market; more clients in various sectors.
Together with a competitive positioning strategy, branding strategy is the essence of what a company/business represent. A great branding strategy helps you communicate more effectively with your market. Following it in every interaction with customers is paramount.
Philmax Branded bus in Nairobi
46 | CONVO MAGAZINE
HOW TO GUARD YOUR BRAND ONLINE DILIGENTLY Protecting your brand online means protecting your revenue and your reputation, and maintaining the trust of your customers in the face of malicious attempts to bring down your brand. But how do you go about it? Bwire, a branding consultant, breaks it down for us.
BY GM BWIRE BRANDING CONSULTANT
W
ave goodbye to your customers, your team, and your revenue when your brand reputation is lost. The time, the money and hard work all gone down the drain. If only you’d had a brand protection plan in place. Immediately a brand lands online, it is in jeopardy. Regardless of the industry, anyone with an internet connection – investors, industry influencers, and internal stakeholders, can read and talk about your brand 24/7, and thus shape public perception of your brand.
The Crisis Owing to the Covid-19 crisis, which has significantly disrupted social interaction across the globe, the world is quickly building up online. From industries rushing to build online bases, to artists holding concerts and shows online, and companies holding virtual meetings, online has become a buzz and ultimately the convergence hub for planet earth. It is true. The online space has presented infinite growth opportunities for many brands, but has become equally lethal. While putting your brand online is unavoidable in this day and age, it opens it up to attack and makes it vulnerable. Everything online has longevity – internet does not forget, and the potential to spread like bushfire, and it is therefore critical to be vigilant in protecting your brand’s online reputation. While there are countless ways for the unscrupulous – competitors, customers and employees, to abuse your brand, there is only one way to protect it – diligence; be careful, persistent and consistent in your protection efforts.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 47
The Solution; Brand protection is everything, and it all starts with a plan. A plan will help identify and focus on the critical areas of the brand that need protection. It is equally important to note that even though it is important, brand protection does not work in isolation it has to go hand in hand with promoting, measuring and evaluating the brand. Here are some critical items that should not miss in your brand protection plan. They will help start you off in building a strong fire wall for your brand online.
3. Buyer persona – before setting any online base, it is important to have a clear brand persona – a clear description of your key target audience. Developing a buyer persona will help you create a clear and relevant messaging for your brand with an understanding of their thinking and behavior. This will ultimately reduce the risk of consumer driven online attacks on the brand. 4. Employee and Customer advocacy pack – Employees and customers can be a dangerous line of attack on the brand if not handled with care. On the other hand, getting your customers and your employees to champion your brand is a golden fire wall; no one can beat genuine people showing genuine passion. An advocacy pack promotes a buy in to the brand’s vision and build a loyal community that can stand with the brand during crisis.
Immediately a brand lands online, it is in jeopardy. The online space has presented infinite growth opportunities for many brands, but has become equally lethal. While putting your brand online is unavoidable in this day and age, it opens it up to attack and makes it vulnerable 1. Brand guidelines – this is a document that helps you protect your brand assets; tangible and intangible. Brand guidelines set the rules of engagement between the brand and its stakeholders – it’s your brand's identity card. It sets usage parameters for all your brand assets, from your identity elements to your messaging. Be keen on getting guidance from a brand expert during the development process. 2. Social listening tools – “big ears” are essential if you want to protect your brand. Although most ignored, social listening is an important virtue for every brand. It is only through social listening that you can pick out the good or bad things that the consumers are saying about you. A social listening tool will help you monitor and analyze all that is being said about your brand online. It will help you know the conversations to jump into to upsell your brand or proactively address negative comments to maintain a strong online reputation.
5. Authentic brand story – with the intelligent crop of consumers online, you cannot fake it; they will see through you. You must be absolutely credible, not just sound credible. Stay transparent – a clean glass pane, and consumers will trust you. Stick to your true mission and your brand’s reputation will be safe. 6. Online security policy – knowledge is power. Develop an online security policy/training for your employees; it is crucial that they understand the basics of staying safe online, since they are more often than not the first line of defense during crisis. I am absolutely sure that by now you have realized the importance of protecting your brand’s reputation online, especially after working extremely hard to protect it.
48 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Manuel Consulting Your business Solutions xperts For all your Business Registration, Tax Filing and Consulting needs
We Deliver, Because Our Focus is You Contact us: Phone: +254 112 661315 Email: mmconsultinggroup254@gmail.com
CONVO MAGAZINE | 49
FIVE THINGS TO DO RIGHT IN A POULTRY BUSINESS
Simon Thairu is a holder of BSc Degree in Agricultural Economics and has a 4 year experience in the Ngo sector. He shares with us the things that you need to understand before venturing into poultry farming
Housing System
By Simon Thairu BSc Agricultural Economics & 4 year experience in the Ngo sector
Market research
W
hen the customer comes first, the customer will last. It is very important to identify the need that you want to meet. Is there a high demand for broiler chicks or kienyeji chicken?
Most beginners in poultry business goes for what a relative or a neighboring farmer is doing with the hope of reaping big. It’s crucial to take your time to take to potential clients, listen to their needs. Conduct a market survey on hotels, eateries and collect data as much as possible. As you do this, be specific on trends in the market, gather more about the information you want to bring into the market. Your motivation should be to meet a need identified, change of plan is critical as your assumptions may not always match the survey findings, go back to the drawing board.
Breed selection Breed selection is very important before you purchase your chicks, this should be guided by your market research, production needs and growth rate. If you are choosing a breed for commercial egg production; choose a breed that is hardy with low mortality rate and good persistence. If it is for meat production, go for a breed that has a high feed conversion ratio, good taste and matures faster. Poor choice of breed will affect market.
The housing system to be used is mainly attributed to the type and breed of the birds you are rearing, the materials available and the rearing system to be used. The most common rearing system is; deep litter system, freerange, semi intensive and cage system. In deep litter system the house is entirely covered by wood shavings, the birds spend most of the time inside with no room for scavenging, this system depends mostly on commercial feeds with a supplement of green vegetables for vitamin. Free-range system is commonly used in kienyeji and improved kienyeji birds, scavenging is key in this system mostly during the day with a bit of housing at night. The system is mostly on free-range, with restricted use of commercial feeds. The semi-intensive system involves the combination of deep litter and free-range system, here the birds do commercial feeds with a supplement of scavenging for nutrients and vitamins. Cage system is the use of cages for housing birds used for small number of birds moved from one place to the other.
Bio Safety Biosecurity is pivotal to the success of your poultry business. Flocks threats include parasites, bacteria, protozoa and viral infections. A good rearing system will help you curb their effects. This includes proper ventilation, proper temperature control, and hygiene in feeds, water and housing. Vaccination schedule need to be followed to the letter and administered professionally. Access to the structure must be restricted to authorized persons only.
Record keeping What cannot be counted cannot be measured. Record keeping is very important in any business, and it is poultry farming. Most farmers ignore the importance of good record keeping in their poultry business. Production inputs such as feeds vaccines and Labor need to be well noted. Feeds and vaccine play a critical role in realization of profits in this business. Feed for example affects the weight gains and thus a need to ensure proper quality and quantity of it is fed to the birds. Feeds to be weighed in terms of grams per day per bird. Vaccines on the other hand need to be well recorded in terms of number of birds vaccinated, when and for which specific diseases, the effects of this may be mortality of birds. ‘
50 | CONVO MAGAZINE
HOW TO BUILD YOUR CAPITAL By Justus Kimani
Author: Your Money Matters
E
very person or institution must endeavor to grow wealth in the form of money or assets. Building capital involves increasing wealth with an orientation of growth, development, and expansion. Having the capacity to build wealth exposes individuals and organizations to greatness. Building wealth is a topic that has sparked a heated debate, promoting quirky get-rich-quick schemes or driving people to pursue transactions that they might otherwise never consider. Almost every organization or individual aims to build wealth, but unfortunately, only a little build capital. This article expounds on the ancient and modern ways and disciplines to build wealth.
REDUCE EXPENSES This is not exciting, but it defines wealth and capital. Nobody likes to hear that they spend too much and need to cut back. We all know that eating out at restaurants or buying the latest gadgets catches up with us, but we don't realize how quickly more minor expenses can add up. I noted that wealth builders focus on both saving money and earning more. The gap between what we make and what we spend is a crucial determinant in the pursuit of building wealth. Expenses should always be lower than income. The more significant that gap, the more wealth a person can accumulate. Making a habit of noting your expenses every day for a week will shock you, seeing the total payment made. The intent of reducing expenses is not to stop eating out or quitting hobbies entirely, but to become aware of your spending habits and identify areas where you can make adjustments; a little goes a long way.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 51
MASTER THE ART OF NEGOTIATION Negotiation is getting something you want by helping others get what they want or need. Someone has said, “you do not get in life what you deserve—you get what you negotiate for.” Solomon, the wisest king, mastered this art; he was a master negotiator. He dialogued and kept the lines of communication open. He was a genius networker. Furthermore, he negotiated royal trade routes. He negotiated with his builders. And he constantly bargained with Hiram, the king of Tyre. Because of his skill as a negotiator, Solomon's empire became the crossroads between nations. In 1 Kings 10:28-29, we learn that Egypt required horses and Sicilia had plenty of them. Yet,
SAVE YOUR MONEY WHERE IT GROWS Almost everyone has a current account, but what do we use it for? Your current account should be lean enough for your regular spending, and everything else should be in interest-bearing accounts. Even better, invest what you can. Some people are risk-averse, so look at guaranteed investment contractsor bonds. If your savings are under the mattress, you are not making your money work for you and are undermining your hard work. Additionally, please resist the urge to spend any cash that you may receive immediately; take time so that you can be able to do proper planning.
the two were bitter enemies. Because he grasped the immeasurable influence of negotiation, Solomon became the bridge between the two nations. I encourage you to study the lives of extraordinary and uncommon achievers. They accept nothing at face value. Instead, they analyze and scrutinize. They evaluate each situation and then make ridiculous offers to decrease prices. Uncommon men are uncommon negotiators.
...because he grasped the immeasurable influence of negotiation, Solomon became the bridge between the two nations.
ALL THE MAN NEEDS
It is written: Man shall not live on bread alone, so what does a man truly need? Kevin Ongori helps answer these question. By kevin Ongori
A
need is something thought to be a necessity or an essential item required for life. When addressing the need of a man, then we are talking about his very core of existence. In our human definition, we classify the need by the outward and physical demands and according to Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
A theory of motivation that states that five categories of human needs dictate an individual's behavior. Those needs are physiological, safety needs, love and belonging needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. It's so easy to be caught up on the above and assume that it's all life is about, not knowing that some have attained all the above and still feel a void in them which cannot be satisfied, by Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
Det 8:3 He humbled you, and in your hunger, He gave you manna to eat, which neither you nor your fathers had known, so that you might understand that man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Luke 4:4 But Jesus answered, “It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone.'”
Pst. Kevin Ongori
So the physical could not function without the spiritual but the spirit can survive without the physical. The survival of man is not physical, but spiritual. He needs spiritual food to be healthy and whole, it is important to note that we are first spiritual then physical, and long after the physical is worn out the spiritual will remain, and which cannot die. A man could not come into existence without God blowing on him His breath (Gen 2:7), so the physical could not function without the spiritual, but the spirit can survive without the physical. The greatest need of man is the attainment and health of his spiritual life, if that cannot be fulfilled he cannot claim to be complete. A young rich ruler approached Jesus with a question of what can he do to attain eternal life, it is essential to note that the young ruler had attained all human success plus and had lived uprightly according to the law. This was Jesus's response to Him, Mark 10:21-22, looking at him, Jesus showed love to him and said to him, “One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But he [a]was deeply dismayed by [b]these words, and he went away grieving; for he owned much property. The young ruler thought that his success and uprightness in matters of law was the ultimate success of a man and what a man requires, Jesus wanted to test his attachment to his wealth, but he failed, the greatest blessing is to be blessed and not get attached to the blessing. The achievement of the young ruler robbed him of an opportunity to access absolute fulfillment and total attainment of the need of Man, which is Jesus. Until we meet Him, until we accept him, we will never, experience the original fulfillment of our needs in life.
52 | CONVO MAGAZINE
A WOMAN'S WORTH
For eons, the role of a woman has remained constricted to the idea of a nurturer and a caretaker. She has also been endowed with the responsibilities of taking care of her family and raising a child. Irrespective of her capabilities and her desire to shine in the public domain, she is expected to lead a quiet life playing the role conferred upon her by the society. How do you navigate the terrain, Sarah shares with us.
By Sarah Ombati
A mother and a professional
M
By Sarah Ombati
A mother and a professional
CONVO MAGAZINE | 53
y son suddenly wakes up early in the morning following the sounds of my preparation to leave for duty. "Mummy are you going to work? Must you go? Please stay with me, just for today. I have one request, kindly come and pick me from school. I don't feel like boarding the school bus today". The list goes on and on. As I leave the house I feel the guilt grip my throat as a hard stone going down my throat. How I wish I could just forego duty and just spend with my family. Those are the moments that I feel my family treasures my presence more than the cash or gifts I may bring to that house.
Talk of a working class woman either in business or employed, who has to leave the house very early before the family is awoken and comes back home in the wee hours of the night or having to work on night duty for 6 days non-stop like in some organizations. Only to come to a quiet home feeling very tired physically and mentally. This is the routine of countless women out there. It is not that we do not love our homes or families, but we have to run the bills, either partly or fully. So, with that in mind, it is hard to satisfy family with quality time which happens once in a blue moon. For all the guilt we feel on this, we just need to forgive ourselves over and over and try to maximize what we have and thank God for it. The torture becomes more psychological when you get overworked and at the end of the month, the money is not enough. I can relate very well with the fears. Am I losing my family at the expense of work that has no gain? Why am I doing this? Should I quit? Is this my calling? I wish to invite you to my round table. Come with me with your cup of coffee and relax. Guess what, you aren’t the only one. Countless women are going through the same, countering the same fears, quite mentally overnight and in the morning they are back at it. “Let me see what this day/week/month/ year has for me before I give up”. This is the true spirit of a woman. You have to keep fighting.
I wish to quote Lois Evan's book (Seasons of a woman's life), specifically, on the cover page “Will it always be like this?” At one point or another, women in all phases and walks of life have felt trapped, stuck, empty, or overwhelmed, wondering if their situation will ever change. Will I ever get married? How much longer must I change diapers? Will my teenager’s rebellion ever end? Is my empty nest a little too empty? These are real, honest, sincere questions, and the answer is safely, “No, life will not always be like it is today.”
"Music always helps me get through my moods, whether they are happy, sad or angry." I wish to share a few tips on how to navigate through this life whether as a single or a family woman. I believe every woman has a family either within or physically.
1. Always pray. Pray for big things that you feel are impossible and for the small, obvious things. Simply because you can even lack sleep, which may seem normal to sleep and wake. For example, God grant me a peaceful night with enough sleep and rest. Always pray for yourself. We have many prayerful women, both locally and international., tap from these graces. 2. Love yourself There are times you will have bad moments from home to work. Such times need you to have an identity before losing yourself to depression. 3. Surround yourself with friends you can relate with. Friends who see your strengths. Who will keep reminding you your best and your identity. Not just audience that look forward to your next downfall. This is irrespective of age. Speaking out helps one to avoid selfpity. 4. Set targets that are both short-term and long-term, then set your priorities. For example: Any weekend you are on off. Have quality time with your family. 5. Give yourself breaks to break away from routines 6. Guard your mental physical and emotional health 7. Speak out. Meaningful conversations act as a therapy. 8. Reward yourself, either in a big or small way. This will help you shun from regrets and negative energies. 9. Never compare yourself with others. Accept your uniqueness. 10. Always remember, delay is not denial nor a curse.
A Young Woman Working
11. Celebrate your wins. This goes out to all women, whether single or married, mothers and girls; the world would not be any better without you.
54 | CONVO MAGAZINE
BEAUTY & BEYOND
DO MEN REALLY NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR SKIN?
OH YES!
A man spreading cream on his face
MARINE ESSENCE CREAM - FIRMING AND MOISTURIZING CREAM THAT COINTAINS SUNSCREEN.
But Why? Male skin signs of aging appear later in life than in females? It's due to the greater amount of collagen and elastin that the men produce. This is not to say that men should not worry about taking care of their skin! Untreated skin can lead to dermatitis, oiliness, acne, pimples, and wrinkles. So don’t wait for those signs to start taking off your skin! Start now! At Annlys Beauty and Beyond, we customize a simple step to follow if you have unproblematic skin. 1. Cleanser that is combined with Toner: this helps to remove dirt and oil build up without stripping your skin natural moisture and the toner restores your skin PH level, smooths skin by refining rough patches thus improving the skin tone 2. Serum: This is a targeted treatment created with one or more active ingredients to address a certain skin concern! There is a serum for every skin concern out there.
POLIVITAMINIC CLEANSING MOUSSE—A TWO IN ONE CLEANSER AND A TONER, THAT PROVIDES A SOOTHING, MOISTURING AND EFFECT GIVING AN IMMEDIATE WELLBEING AND COMFORT TO THE SKIN.
3. Moisturizer: Use a moisturizer with the right ingredients for your skin type to maintain your skin moisture barrier and to prevent environmental damage to your skin 4. Sunscreen: Don’t forget to apply sunscreen as the top product on your skin. It protects your skin from the sun's harmful UVA and UVB rays that can damage your skin and result in hyperpigmentation, acne, fine lines, wrinkles etc.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 55
ANNLYSBEAUTY & BEYOND IS A ONE-STOP SPA FOR BEAUTY SERVICES LOCATED AT REHEMA PLACE BLOCK B SUITE 10 ON NGONG ROAD OPPOSITE PRESTIGE PLAZA. THEY CAN BE REACHED ON +2547 93572473 FROM MONDAY TO SATURDAY 8AM-7PM.
STOP THE MEAN GIRL CYCLE
Our seasons, colors, and callings may be different, but those are the details that make our lives more interesting. Together we are mobilized to understand, reach and teach one another. By Lydia Arunga
G
ossip, envy and other insecurities that bring disunity have been over associated with a woman. However, many women’s ministries across the Church are coming together and living out a very different reputation.
When we gather in godliness, beautiful unity is unleashed, we grow, the young are trained, the old honored, the lost reached, needs met, justice brought and God’s kingdom comes. The whole Church benefits when woman arise and unite together. Some days, and some issues, just require a woman’s touch. Titus 2 highlights the need for woman to teach younger women. As women, we are amazingly different. There is no real stereotype to be confined to. It’s been said that the single woman doesn’t want to keep hearing about the married woman. The childless hears too much about the new mother, the homemaker has no time for the businesswoman, and the young have little in common with the old. We are to be all things to all people.
Why be divided when all situations, seasons, and callings can mix up and share wisdom from each group together? Even though there is no gender in heaven, on earth we are designated with that common denominator of being women who are each seeking to be all God has intended us to be. At times, we may be discouraged. However, have grace, and you’ll quickly realize that if you don’t take part with other women your kind of woman or ministry style may never be represented. The enemy must not stop us from getting up, getting dressed and turning up regardless. Our seasons, colors, and callings may be different, but those are the details that make our lives more interesting. Together we are mobilized to understand, reach and teach one another. Ultimately, we come together for God, to see his kingdom come. God uses women to do some significant things. However, in our absence, we may miss the girl we were supposed to bring life to, or miss the pearl of wisdom we were supposed to receive. In addition, there is a great need for woman to build each other as it prepares and makes room for lost girls to come home. Jesus always made room for them. Let us arise and build each other.
Lydia Arunga: The whole Church benefits when woman arise and unite together.
56 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Convo Fashion
Inspiration
01.
Bridal Spruce
An elegant masterpiece entirely created in lace. The strapless soft scoop neckline gown is simple but with luxurious details.
Bridal and gift shop is a one-stop shop for all bridal related gift and themes. They specialize in offering unique personalized gifts and displaying them in a stylish way. They have been providing this service for more than 3 years now and have had great fun creating the perfect look for their clients.
Green Park Mall, Next to Vanity Lounge Shop: E3 CONVO MAGAZINE | 57
True Bridals Gifts Shop
254 771 43 7450
Strapless charming and appealing ball gown with gloves to add a touch of sophistication to it.
02. Cream ball gown with an illusion neckline and a train nude lace. It's a combination that's modest and sexy at the same time.
03. 58 | CONVO MAGAZINE
RED VELVET CAKE Ingredients
By Joy Simon
400g cake flour (mix 350g all-purpose and 50g corn starch) 7g baking powder 3g baking soda 5ml vinegar 1tsp salt levelled 240 to 270ml sour cream/milk 150g butter unsalted 50ml vegetable oil 16g cocoa 200-250g sugar 3 eggs 1 tbsp. Vanilla essence. 1tsp red color
Procedure Sift flour, cocoa, salt, baking powder and combine (sift 3-5 times) In a bowl, cream sugar and butter Add eggs one at a time Add vanilla essence and oil Add the red food color and sour cream and combine. Carefully fold in the flour until fully combined. Finally, mix the vinegar and baking soda in a cup and pour it in the cake batter. Fold it one last time QUICKLY until well incorporated. Pour in your lined baking tin and bake at 150 degrees.
Joyous Cakes
WANT A CAKE FOR YOUR EVENT? TALK TO US
CONVO MAGAZINE | 59
+254 792 542854
De Rosa media
Y O U R O F F I C I A L W E D D I N G & E V E N T P H O T O G R A P H Y G U Y S
call & book
254 700 693544 60 | CONVO MAGAZINE
W
e all know a famous adage that says, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. It was coined to mean that many women have won a man's love by cooking delicious meals for him. Some people have found it mischievous, but we can all agree that a filled and warm belly is good for a man. As a man with ambition, unaccomplished projects and so much going on, we have to remain healthy and fully fit. I will share a few refreshing recipes good for the man.
By Dennis Njiru Dee catering Services
LEMON GARLIC BUTTER SALMON IN FOIL WITH PINEAPPLE This is one of my favorite recipes in the kitchen yet the delicate one since you're dealing with salmon fillet which is one of the most delicious and delicate fillets. Cooked well, it gives you the best results. Let's get it ready!!
PROCEDURE To make the salmon in foil packets: Preheat your oven to 400 °F (ca. 204 °C). In a small saucepan, melt the butter over lowmedium heat. Add honey, garlic, and lemon. Whisk until the honey has melted through the butter and the mixture is well combined. Add one tablespoon chopped parsley, mix well and set aside. Cut 4 sheets of 14-inch (35 cm) length aluminum foil. Divide pineapple slices among sheets, layering in the center in an even layer, and sprinkle with pepper. Arrange salmon fillets on top and drizzle with the honey lemon garlic butter sauce. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and top with more chopped parsley.
INGREDIENTS For two servings: 2 salmon fillets 1/2 pineapple, halved and sliced ¼ cup butter ⅓ cup honey 4 large cloves garlic, crushed 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice Chopped fresh parsley Salt and pepper
CONVO MAGAZINE | 61
Pull sides of foil inward and seal then roll edges up, try to leave a little room for heat to circulate. Transfer the packets to a baking sheet and bake in the preheated oven about 10-15 minutes. Enjoy the lemon garlic butter salmon in foil packets with brown or white rice if desired and remaining sauce. Sprinkle with additional chopped parsley if you like. Enjoy!
STUFFED CHICKEN BREAST WITH MOZZARELLA AND SPINACH Seriously cheesy and bursting with flavors, this delicious dinner for two comes together so easy and cooks in about 30 minutes, making it perfect for a cozy date night at home.
PROCEDURE
Spinach
In a skillet, sauté onion and 2 cloves minced garlic in a tablespoon olive oil for 3 – 4 minutes, until fragrant and translucent. Add tomato and chicken stock, bring to a boil and simmer over low-medium heat until the sauce reduces and starts to thicken, about 15 – 20 minutes. Stir in sugar and balsamic, adjust seasoning with salt and pepper, then set aside in a large bowl. 2. In the meantime: In another skillet or frying pan, add olive oil and garlic, sauté over medium heat for 1-2 minutes. Add spinach and stir frequently until wilted and cooked, about 2-3 minutes. Set garlic and spinach aside.
INGREDIENTS 1. The Chicken: 2. boneless skinless chicken breasts, butterflied 3. 3 tablespoons olive oil, divided 4. 2 slices of fresh mozzarella cheese 5. 2 cups (0.47 liters) fresh baby spinach, or normal fresh spinach 6. 4 cloves garlic, minced 7. 1 small onion, minced 8. 1 can low-sodium crushed 9. The tomato sauce: 10. 1 tablespoon sugar 11. 1/2 teaspoon balsamic vinegar 12. 1/2 cup (125ml) chicken stock 13. Crushed red pepper flakes, to taste
3. Butterfly chicken breasts, slice lengthwise down the middle, but not all the way through. Season chicken with salt and pepper on both sides. Place a slice of mozzarella over each chicken breast. Add Spinach and garlic on top. Fold chicken in half like a sandwich, keeping the stuffing in. Sprinkle top of chicken with red chili pepper flakes. 4. Heat a skillet over medium heat with a tablespoon olive oil. Sear and cook chicken on both sides for 5 minutes each, until golden and cooked through. Cheese should be melted and bubbly. Pour the tomato sauce around the chicken to reheat quickly until simmering. Serve immediately, enjoy! Recipe note: You can cook spinach and chicken while the sauce is simmering, and assemble when chicken is done. Use all ingredients fresh to gentle the best juicy flavors.
62 | CONVO MAGAZINE
GARLIC LIME CHICKEN WITH FRESH HERBS QUINOA
Quinoa
This garlic lime chicken tenders and quinoa is a whole and effortless meal, perfect for a dinner for two. Beside chicken and quinoa, all you need for this recipe is a good mix of spices and a handful of fresh herbs. Tasty and mind-blowing.
Ingredients The Chicken: 1 pound (ca. 454 g) chicken tenders Juice of one lime 3 cloves garlic, minced 1 teaspoon cumin seeds 1 teaspoon fennel seeds 1 teaspoon sesame seeds 1 teaspoon coriander seeds 1 tablespoon crushed cashews 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil The herbed quinoa 1 cup (0.24 liters) quinoa, cooked 1/2 cup cilantro leaves, chopped 1/2 cup flat-leaf parsley leaves, chopped 2 scallions, thinly sliced.
Chicken with Quinoa
Procedure Grind all the spices (cumin, fennel, sesame, coriander seeds, and cashew) in a grinder or mortar. Place the lime juice, minced garlic, spice mix, olive oil, salt, and pepper in a bowl and mix to combine. Place the chicken, in a large salad bowl. Rub the marinade over the chicken and let sit for 15-20 minutes. Drain from the marinade and stir-fry the chicken tenders in a hot skillet until golden and cooked through. Add the marinade at the end of cooking and cook for 2-5 minutes more; make sure you don’t burn the spices of the marinade, you just want them slightly caramelized. While the chicken is cooking, place the cooked quinoa, cilantro, parsley, and scallion in a bowl and toss to combine. Serve the chicken with the herbed quinoa, sprinkle with extra sesame seeds and drizzle with extra oil to serve. Enjoy
CONVO MAGAZINE | 63
5
WHY WE NEED TO ADOPT ICT IN EDUCATION Mercy Cherono Mercy is a writer at Masisha. She writes about Health, Technology and Lifestyle.
I
nformation Communication and Technology in Education is the mode of Education which uses information and communication technology to support, enhance and optimize the delivery of information.
Worldwide research has shown that ICT can lead to an improved student learning and better teaching methods. Integration simply means to blend into a functioning or unified whole. Better teaching and learning methods ICT helps a teacher to guide his/her students and expose them to a new way of learning and to the 21st century teaching and learning methods, for instance using a projector to teach. Also, when a teacher grades students using the online grading system, then they are able to keep track of the performance of their learners and can easily improve on the performance of their students.
Improves engagement It is important to acknowledge that students are already interested and engaged in using technology. When technology is integrated into lessons, students are more interested in the subjects they are studying. Technology provides different opportunities to learning more and within a more relaxed environment, that is, teaching the same things in new ways. For instance, teaching concepts that students tend to think are tough like Moles in Chemistry would encourage students to have a more active participation in the learning process which would be difficult to achieve through the normal teaching and learning ways – thus improving on performance. Encourages collaboration Learners can easily practice collaboration skills by getting involved in different online activities. For instance, by sharing their documents or assignments via email to the teacher. Technology can encourage collaboration with students in the same classroom, same school, or even a different school in the country. With this, they are able to collaborate with people, hence learning collaboration skills. Collaboration skills are crucial and will come in handy when the students’ progress in their career lives as it is a top skill required in all organizations so solve problems and progress towards a common goal.
64 | CONVO MAGAZINE
“When we use technology in our classrooms, both the learners and teachers can develop skills essential for the 21st century learners Students can learn useful life skills through technology When we use technology in our classrooms, both the learners and teachers can develop skills essential for the 21st century learners; for instance, they are able to gain the skills they will need to be successful in the future. The modern learning is about critical thinking, forms of communication and leadership skills and solving complex problems among other reasons. In addition, technology can help develop many practical skills like maintaining proper online etiquette and writing emails. These skills are important and can be developed in the classroom.
Prepares them for integrated society dominated by ICT developments In the current society we live in, most things are digital and for one to survive and live well, they ought to be acquainted with ICT. Therefore, when we integrate our teaching and learning methods with ICT, then we are able to prepare our learners to be able to live well in our society that is dominated by ICT developments; for instance, they can apply for a job via email. Encourages individual learning Different learners have different abilities, and they also learn in different ways. Technology thereby provides great opportunities for making learning more effective for everyone with different needs, for example; learners can review difficult concepts or skip ahead if they need to, and can learn at their own speed. This also provides opportunities for special needs’ students. When the internet is accessible to students, it gives them a range of resources to conduct research in different ways, which in turn can increase the engagement. Encourages Homework Homework has always been the greatest challenge for most students and parents too. Therefore, the use of ICT encourages students to do their homework because sometimes with the homework they are asked to look for a concept through the internet ICT has brought about changes in teaching and learning in our institutions and thus improving the engagement of both the teachers and students in the learning process.
Mercy Cherono Mercy is a writer at Masisha. She writes about Health, Technology and Lifestyle.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 65
Therefore, it is important for us to integrate ICT into our education. Individuals should not think that ICT is a distraction, but should recognize it for the great benefits it brings – encouraging active participation of learners in the classroom.
Hellen Chege Medical Professional
KNOW YOUR IDENTITY TO SUCCEED IN YOUR ACADEMICS
S
elf-awareness is actively seeking to understand oneself through introspection. This is the first step to personality development and lasting inner change. Your identity is very important. It is essential to understand that, you are not your title, gender, or status. We are all spiritual beings with human experience. Self-awareness is your ability to perceive and understand the things that make you who you are as an individual. The things that work for you and those that derail you in your efforts of personal growth. It begins by telling yourself the truth. How are your behaviors are affecting you? Do away with behaviors that are not good. For example, as a student, premarital sex is not good, drugs are not good either. Classify all of your behaviors and drop all that are hampering you and your endeavors. The benefits of knowing who you are ·You mature emotionally ·You communicate better ·Improve your relationships ·Improve your performance— nothing can stop you from achieving Self-awareness helps you achieve your purposes. So, the following are some things you should do to achieve your purpose? ·Monitor your self-talk ·Know your unique character, helps familiarize with your vision ·Practice to say no ·Renew your mind every day ·Practice self-reflection
ROSE WINDOW ART AT ALL SAINTS CATHEDRAL, NAIROBI. BY: WANYAMA OGUTU A PAINTER, TEACHER, AND M.A SCHOLAR AT KENYATTA UNIVERSITY.
M
embers of the public who frequent All Saints Cathedral, Nairobi to listen to contemporary sermons or vibration hymns of the organ are always incredulous at the glittering of the rose window.
The positioning of the rose window at the altar wall draws attention to the congregants sitting on the engraved wooden pier.
A Painting - From Canva A critic of the congregant once acclaims that the art of rose window diverts the attention of a controversial political sermon to the meditation of the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. The influx sparkle of the enigmatic rose window arises more during holy communion services, reflecting a story of a notable star from the east. The story ends at Bethlehem, where the shepherds worshiped the baby Jesus, according to the gospel of Saint Matthew. Amazingly, the rose window is positioned opposite the main cathedral door, known as the West door. The west door is a spot where the archbishop, together with his contingents of canons, clergy, lay readers, and choirs, makes an entrance procession to the ceremonial service. It might be deduced that the position of the rose window opposite the west door was a prophetic expression in fulfillment of the prophetic voice of Isaiah.
The Rose Window has the circular shape of a wheel on a bicycle, with an intensively decorated floral design. The geometrical shapes are arranged in a rhythmic pattern to suggest movement, exhibiting various color harmonies in the color wheel. As the sun rises from the east, the rose window glitters and displays attractive complementary, primary, and secondary color harmonies. With a look at the rose window, you can acknowledge that African artists and designers designed the rose window to present the story of a shining star in Bethlehem surrounded by a crown of thorns and the cross of Jesus Christ. The cross is streamed out with lighting of complimentary color harmonies of dark blue. The supposition of stars created a radial asymmetrical balance that subdued the surmounting cool color. The radial balance has formed a rhythm pattern of intrinsically colored shapes radiating warm color against a cool color.
66 | CONVO MAGAZINE
This design on the rose window represents Jesus Christ's resurrection and the return of Jesus Christ in the last days. The design of the rose window at All Saints Cathedral, Nairobi, is traced back to the medieval and gothic cathedrals in the early 19th century. In the late 19th century, the rose window trickled down from European cathedrals such as France and the United Kingdom to other continents, including Africa. In Kenya, Euro-centric mainstream churches such as the Roman Catholic, Anglican, Presbyterian, and Methodist, among others, continue to value the art of the rose window. However, upcoming churches consider the minimal art of the rose window in their architectural designs. The consequences might be due to the de-escalating influence of professional artists and designers, obliviousness of religious leaders, and abandonment of symbolism in some Christian doctrines.
About 1 billion people live in deserts. Many of these people rely on customs that have been around for hundreds of years to make their lives as easy as possible.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 67
Painting Brush Aside from the biblical origin of the rose window from the gospel of Saint Matthew, the origin also has a historical origin from Saint Catherine of Alexandria, who was executed beneath the spike of a horse chariot wheel regarding her unapologetic faith in Christ. The Catherine Window, which was designed with intense spikes of a horse chariot, became a memorial martyr to Saint Catherine in all gothic cathedrals throughout Europe, Asia, and America. However, due to the rise in dissimilarity of faith among various Christian doctrines, Catherine's window was renamed the Rose Window, and it now incorporates symbolic floral designs depicting bible themes. It is important to recognize that in 1994, the former chief graphic designer of the Kenya Institute of Education (KIE), Mr. William Esikhaty, conceptualized the rose window at All Saints Cathedral, Nairobi, into the current cooperative identity.
Esikhaty drew and designed an inspiration for it and, later, his Asian friend redesigned and reproduced the drawing into a computer aid version. Currently, the computer-designed version of the Rose Window is adopted as an official logo, landmark, trademark, and emblem, among other things, at All Saints Cathedral, Nairobi. In conclusion, the gleaming rose window captures the attention of members of the public during the church service at All Saints Cathedral, Nairobi. It displays intrinsically beautiful color harmonies that give a reverence of worship and a reflection of the star in the city of Bethlehem. The origin of Rose Window has taken various historical names, like Wheel Window and Catherine Window, in the cathedral age. The Rose Window at All Saints Cathedral, Nairobi, has been inspired to utilize an official cooperative identity.
BENEFIT OF ART AND CRAFT ACTIVITIES IN THE ONGOING CBC CURRICULUM:
Brain Muscle Relaxation and Body rest
T
BY: WANYAMA OGUTU A PAINTER, TEACHER, AND M.A SCHOLAR AT KENYATTA UNIVERSITY.
he August Magazine Issue 6, 2022 reported that Art & Craft is a branch of the CBC that aims to envision an engaged, empowered, and ethical Kenyan citizen as enshrined in the CBC framework. It is critical to recognize that children's According to the Issues, the ongoing minds and bodies are actively engaged CBC curriculum is an extension of the in any art class session that involves with clay, modeling, or Face Out 8.4.4 curriculum, which has a playing constructing a representational object. similar vision of education for selfreliance. It is further underlined that the Clay is a malleable material made of soil Cambridge IGCSE curriculum takes Art that is easily manipulated by the hands and Craft as a prerequisite subject for and creates a symbolic image. According early learners. It also inferred the benefit to medical practitioners, body muscles of art and craft to children's development and tendons of the brain are actively and cognitive learning as revealed by art involved in clay modeling activities such therapists, educationists, and medical as wielding lumps of clay, rolling a ball of clay, squeezing, pulling and pinching, practitioners. smoothing, and hollowing the clay with figures. As a result, the fine motor muscles of children are strengthening, as are the blood vessels that circulate the body and brain. Art and craft that involves clay modeling activities are intuitive and creatively allows children to express world views through abstract representation. Therefore, art and craft activities in the CBC curriculum enable the children’s brain muscles to relax and have adequate body rest for their wellbeing.
Young girl Modelling - Wanyama Ogutu
68 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Men Riding on horses
MEN MORE ILLUSTRIOUS THAN YOU By Muchai Echengi
O
CONVO MAGAZINE | 69
ur Illustrious Protagonist, hero of this story, sat lofty and proud, perched atop a silk cushion, surveying the activity before him. Fortyyear-old eyes alighted upon a young boy in the corner of the tent, four years of age, examining a shield. He was Our Illustrious Protagonist's pride and joy, the very beat of his father's heart.
And the lord saw that his eyes were alit with zeal and fervour. Yet when he spoke, his voice was calm and measured
The young boy was a replica of his most honorable father — the same furrowed brow, the same glisteningly dark eyes, the same fleshy lips, the same thoughtful countenance so well suited to a philosopher.
A young maid - By Canva
His father loved him with that fierce love that men who attained fatherhood at an age far removed from the prime of their youth have for their offspring. The young boy was a replica of his most honorable father— the same furrowed brow, the same glisteningly dark eyes, the same fleshy lips, the same thoughtful countenance so well suited to a philosopher. The desert had imprinted its mark on him. He sat erect and perfectly still, yet the surrounding air seemed to thrum with a restless vitality. On every inch of his bearing, the sign of future lordship was stamped. Taking in the sight of his eldest son, Our Illustrious Protagonist felt a surge of pride welling up in his breast, and a conviction in the integrity of his bloodline.
Men Riding a muse
His gaze drifted over to the entrance of the tent, by which a woman sat crosslegged, her profile to him. The sunlight billowed in through the entranceway, playing in the tresses of her hair. Its holy rays bled into her face, suffused her pores so that she seemed to glow from within with a radiance that made her seem at once both a saint and a temptress. Her womanly form was silhouetted against a backdrop of the rich royal red fabric from which the tent was fashioned. Dressed as she was in all the finery befitting a maharani*, her languid dark eyes lined by kohl and her Cupid's bow of a mouth slightly upturned as if with the promise of a secret, she lent a regal air to the formalized austerity of the tent. She felt her husband's eyes on her and turned to meet them. Even from where he sat, Our Illustrious Protagonist could clearly make out the eyes that had captured his imagination and set his blood ablaze over a decade ago — two mysterious orbs, each of them a cesspool of mystery and joy. There was nothing demure in her gaze, she looked at him plainly, frankly.
Not one who would normally deign to listen to a poor, humble man. But he soon realized that though poor, there was nothing humble about this would-be suitor. 70 | CONVO MAGAZINE
“You speak truth, lord. I am the remnant of a humble house, a son of herdsmen and farmers. Yet, lord, even herdsmen and farmers such as I can aspire to greatness.” He paused. He spoke again. “See here, my father,” he said, using the honorific term for an elder, " in 3 seasons I shall return here a much greater man than who at present stands before you. I swear it on the blessed bones of my fathers.”
An Old Man - Photo by Canva
He felt himself transported upon the wings of memory, back to when he had been a young man, scarcely eighteen seasons of age with nothing to his name, a man of no consequence in his tribe. A man who did not even merit to be on the totem pole, so poor was he. But he was bountifully rich in heart and spirit, and girding his courage around his waist like a belt, he had stridden into her father's tent to state his intentions. Her father was an elder of the tribe, a man fabulously wealthy and renowned. Not one who would normally deign to listen to a poor, humble man. But he soon realized that though poor, there was nothing humble about this would-be suitor, this broad-shouldered fellow with a smoldering gaze who looked him in the eye and quite unabashedly stated his intention to woo his daughter. The bilious gorge of insult that had risen up to his mouth ready to be spilled into Our Illustrious Protagonist's face receded. Something in the young man's face —a sort of sombre piety compounded by an ambitious gleam in those hooded eyes —stopped him. He recognized in the young man one in whom the deities Fortune and Providence had bestowed their kiss. But still, he decided he would not be so easily swayed. "You have nothing. Your father and mother are of this world no more. The inheritance of your house is scattered to the Four Winds. You are the last of a bloodline of no importance, yours is a heritage of herdsmen and farmers, not of lords and chieftains. Why should I grant you my daughter?" Our Illustrious Protagonist drew himself up to his full height. He pondered the lord's words in his mind, turned them over, ruminated upon them. After an interminable silence, he raised his eyes. And the lord saw that his eyes were alit with zeal and fervour. Yet when he spoke, his voice was calm and measured.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 71
It was a statement spoken not with the mad fanaticism of an overeager adolescent, but with the cool assurance of a man. The elder, not an excitable man himself, felt a slight pang of admiration for the youth's self-possession. The elder shrugged his shoulders. “We could trade words and promises till seven suns pass, and still it would all be for nothing. The final decision rests with my daughter. Let us call her, and see if her heart turns towards you.” “But,” and here the elder's eyes took on a peculiar gleam, “I should warn you: men more illustrious than you have tried to woo her. None has succeeded.”
Or puffed up his chest like a peacock and recited all his feats to her as proof of the virility of his spirit and body. As he spoke what he perceived to be damning words, the elder saw that the youth's face remained passive and immobile. "Such a great stone, this one. But no matter, beauty can melt even stone." And smiling a secret smile behind his venerable beard, he signalled for his servant to summon his daughter. She glided into her father's tent moments later. It had become a ritual for her — at least every two weeks some distinguished personage or others would grace her most honorable father's tent with his presence, laden with gifts and demanding her hand in marriage. She would sit mutely at her father's feet as the distinguished personage forgot the dignity of his person and fawned over her, promising her all the lavishness and luxury she could imagine. Or puffed up his chest like a peacock and recited all his feats to her as proof of the virility of his spirit and body. She would listen impassively and once the suitor's theatrics were over, would murmur, "I have heard your suit. If the gods will it, so be it. For what is our will to theirs?" The suitors would assent, since even the strongest of men had to give way to the will of the gods. But little did they know that the only gods she paid homage to were those that resided in her heart. And these gods were mightily unimpressed by the worship and sacrifice that these men came to give at their altars. Pt 2 in the next issue of Convo Magazine
Jackson and his Bike - Thika Road
THE TALE OF CITY KANJUS AND MY BIKE And a reckless voting cycle By Jackson Kimani
O
ctober 2019. I was riding my motorcycle smoothly as always. There has been announced a major operation by city-hall, to impound every PSV motorcycle found plying in CBD. A map had been shared on social media defining the CBD. Well, the kanju askaris as usual, would take this opportunity to hunt every motorcycle PSV or not, in CBD or not; to extort money. On a Tuesday evening, I am riding from work. I join Mombasa road and have to come all the way along Uhuru highway, then branch at University way to go join Muranga and Thika roads. I had done this for many months. Furthermore, I had gotten used to irritating traffic jam from Nyayo roundabout to Ngara. I would lane split but the positioning of the sidemirrors and the extreme caution I employed, only allowed me to do so at low speeds. There is scheduled a class in a school of prophecy that I had recently joined. Punctuality is key. I am racing against time. The traffic congestion is immense. I hoot to an Sclass equipment. The motorist rolls down the glass on his side- and shoots out his hand. All his fingers are folded except one. Just a horn makes him this mad? He is wearing an Asian look. I fear drawing near lest he pulls up a gun. I wait patiently behind him for the roundabout to clear.
I am now on University way. Massive congestion as usual. Once at central police station, even lane splitting is impossible, I have to patiently follow behind cars as the road narrows down from 5 lanes to two. It keeps getting better, now am on the descent towards the globe roundabout, and instantly some mortal men decide to abruptly cross the road. I stop and give them time, some are mothers others are scantily dressed ladies, others are officially dressed men, and yet there is a footbridge few metres from where they are, but would rather do this. My thoughts are interrupted by a forceful individual who in a splash of a second switches off my bike and grabs the key. The rest of his men, like phantoms, all come to me. I start registering, they are kanjus. One had very violent looks. A sea of Nairobians gathered around us. They were wondering why a big bike has been arrested. The County askaris wore no uniform. They got uncomfortable with the crowd. All this time I was demanding to know why I have been arrested and am not a PSV bike nor am I in CBD area. They got a scapegoat that I don’t have parking licenses. The crowd dissolved slowly by slowly. It kept me wondering why many of them were not courageous enough to confront the guys with me. They preferred to leave me on their hands as a wearied herd, leaves a wounded buffalo with hungry lionesses.
72 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Jackson and his Bike - Thika Road
He just wants to show me how he is the guy not to be messed with; but why couldn't he apply a fifth of his skills to tackle the kanjus All this time I was demanding to know why I have been arrested and am not a PSV bike nor am I in CBD area. They got a scapegoat that I don’t have parking licenses. The crowd dissolved slowly by slowly. It kept me wondering why many of them were not courageous enough to confront the guys with me. They preferred to leave me on their hands as a wearied herd, leaves a wounded buffalo with hungry lionesses. I could see a white ‘FRR’ truck far off, and some bodaboda were getting loaded on the truck. All this time I am on my bike. It weighs 160kgs. I have only removed the helmet. They are demanding money Ksh 6000. “Mimi sina Pesa” I fire at one. He seems illogical, and has been hardened by bribes harder than a sea stone. I could see another bodaboda approaching at high speed, carrying a pillion. The commotion in the arrest is dramatic, and has left the pillion with a torn jacket, and the atmosphere polluted with carbon flames. These guys know the weight of the bike; they are buying time so that I buy my freedom. They believe bike enthusiasts are wealthy, and they are demanding to inherit my wealth by force. I call a friend, Samuel Maingi and borrows some money. He has in the past taught me never to bribe. Christians should not. He went ahead and shared many tempting situations in his career, and in all of them he overcame. Am not sure if he will agree to lend me the money for “bribing”. I fire again at the fierce looking guy-” Mimi sina Pesa - naenda kwa mkutano wa Kanisa”.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 73
He looks at me close to the eye and says- “Sawa.” He explains that I will get the key from another guy who is now in the truck. Someone shall be sent to call him. It’s unbelievable. I am free. I ride in freedom like a bird, praising the Lord Jesus. Just before Muthaiga exit there is a snarl up. Some youthful men are walking. I am on the outer lane. “Heh, wamekuachilia!! Walikuwa wanataka?” one of them posed. I register these could be the part that had formed a crowd around me. “Mnaenda hadi wapi” I enquired. He says Rounda -Junction. That is in Outering road. I decide to carry one using my bike. Why would he walk all the way? Financial issues? Many are walking. I wonder why these troubles would never raise the standards for voting in Kenya. Such individuals would easily slide in blinded campaign gimmicks, rather than critically look at who shall deliver us all from poverty. The individual has mega stories on how he is karate certified man. I seem disinterested. He attempts to woe me into believing him as he alighted at Allsops. He even showed me papers evident of certifications that he has earned. Not only that, but he just wants to show me how he is the guy not to be messed with; but why couldn't he apply a fifth of his skills to tackle the kanjus who were harassing an innocent Kenyan? Why would he still vote the same way he did in 2017, in 2022? Why not evaluate leaders. I ask him about governor, and he spews praises for former governor, Sonko. End of discussion.
CHOOSING FRIENDS What to look out for in a friend By Betsy Munene Class 7 - Ahadi Presbyterian School
A
The following are qualities of a good friend Their speech is encouraging
friend should be someone who challenges me to become a better person in everything I do. A friend is also someone who can serve a positive and supportive role in my life. Below are some of the things that qualifies someone to be a friend
Their dressing is modest They are disciplined Their intentions for us is good They respect themselves and others They obey teachers, guardians, and parents They fear God and love to grow spiritually
Their discipline. If they always get in trouble, that is not a true friend. A saying goes like this, show me your friends and I will tell you your character. A true friend should teach you the right ways in life – both at school and in the outside world. Some friends, instead of helping you perform better in school, they pull you down. We should also look for the way they do things. Some friends just end up wasting and misusing your time. Your friend should not be gossipers. Gossiping friends will end up getting you in trouble. You should cut off that friendship immediately if they are not willing to change. The groups he/she is in. A good friend will not get you into groups that are not useful. The most common problem facing teens is peer pressure, especially in the groups that you choose to join. Before you join a group, know the people in the group and their character and what they talk about. Also, look out for their intentions since they may be having bad intentions for you, looking for your weak spot to plan and watch your downfall. We should also check if they perform well in school. If they perform poorly, they can easily influence you and cause your performance to drop. Most of the time, performance is influenced by discipline.
Proverbs 12:26 The Godly give good advice to their friends, the wicked lead them astray.
Betty Munene
74 | CONVO MAGAZINE
BE HOSPITABLE If you invite a friend or family member over to your home, you will need to be hospitable by accommodating their needs. Hospitality is a valuable spiritual skill that is necessary in building friendships and the community. Joy shares with us what it means to be hospitable. By Joy Golan Grade 6 - Precious Angels Academy
B
Being hospitable; means showing generous and cordial reception of guest, feeding them. In Biblical term; it means a love of strangers or visitors. It involves extending a warm welcome to our visitors who visit our homes; for examples: — You can invite someone to our home for Tea. — You can take a meal to a bereaved family or caring for a sick mother. — Hospitality is a ministry that touches God's heart and also touches the heart of our visitors.
Nothing done in God's name, however small, goes unnoticed by our heavenly Father. Learn to be caring. There are many examples in the Bible of people Joy Golan Outside a Church Building
who actually reaped many blessings for extending their hospitality to widows, orphans, and strangers. A well-known example is in Genesis 18:1-15, It narrates how Abraham, whose seed we are, welcomed strangers who later turned out to be a blessing in his life and their home.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 75
GOING FOR WORLD CUP 2022 IN QATAR?
Qatar is the first Gulf nation to host the Fifa World Cup in 2022. I bet that if you had already planned to travel to Qatar for the world cup, you must have acquired your visit visa and ticket by now! But if you have not, you still have the opportunity to watch the live matches before they kick off on 20th November.
By Mary Kinuthia Resides in Qatar
Q
Fifa World Cup Trophy
atar is the first Gulf nation to host the FIFA World Cup in 2022. FIFA World Cup takes place after every four years in different countries. One thing that living in Qatar has taught me is pre-planning. If you need to visit your salon and have your hair done, you have to plan ahead and book an appointment with them, instead of walking in on them unlike we do back home.
When you want to make your favorite meal with all the necessary ingredients, you need to buy everything you require beforehand otherwise you will have to use much time driving or taking a cab to the distant baklah (shop, if you like) in case you miss out any important ingredient. Simply put, pre-planning and preparation is key! Travelling to a foreign country or in this case for the upcoming world cup is not any different. You will have to source out information about your host country and the guidelines on travel requirements before the travel date.
76 | CONVO MAGAZINE
Qatar 2022 - Fifa World Cup
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE LEAVING FOR DOHA I bet that if you had already planned to travel to Qatar for the world cup, you must have acquired your visit visa and flight ticket by now! As for the flight ticket, the earlier, the cheaper! But if you haven’t, you still have the opportunity to watch the live matches before they kick off on 20th November to 18th Dec 2022 when the final match will be played.
COVID-19 REQUIREMENT Since Covid-19 hit in 2019 until recently, a negative antigen test or PCR test certificate has been a mandatory pre-arrival requirement when entering Qatar. Visitors and residents alike have to take a PCR test 48hrs before travel, present their COVID-19 vaccination certificate, as well as, the Ehetraz mobile application that displays their COVID-19 status before departure to Qatar. Ehetraz is a government run-application called, which displays one’s COVID-19 status and tracks infection rates within the country. The good news for the visitors planning to travel to this small Middle Eastern nation is that the Qatar Cabinet revised these restrictions recently, making things easy for them in this world cup season. The cabinet announced that as from November 1st 2022 visitors and residents are exempted from these test procedures.
CONVO MAGAZINE | 77
Fifa World Cup Trophy - Reuters
TICKET AND HAYYA CARD Travelers coming to Qatar for world cup or simply visit, have to present their Hayya cards as from 1st November. Hayya cards are only exempted for travelling Qatar citizens and residents. Once you purchase your football ticket online from the Fifa official website, you are required to download the Hayya card from app store or Hayya portal. Hayya card gives the Fifa ticket holder access to several benefits such as free transport to stadiums, access to metro, Fifa shuttle, tramps, buses, as well as, entry permit to Qatar. Apparently, the Hayya cardholders are at liberty to bring at most 3 people with them to Qatar who are not ticket holders.
"The hotel booking will then be validated using your Hayya card. In case one has relatives or friends in Qatar who can host them, then this has to be registered in the Hayya portal. ACCOMMODATIONS Qatar has invested heavily in a number of luxurious hotels and accommodation. Assuming you don’t have relative or friends who can host you during the world cup, you will need to have booked a hotel before your travel date. The hotel booking will then be validated using your Hayya card. In case one has relatives or friends in Qatar who can host them, then this has to be registered in the Hayya portal.
MOVING AROUND QATAR Qatar has eight mega stadiums within the country that will be used for FIFA World Cup 2022. These stadiums are in different municipalities, at least 74 km away from each other. This means that there will be a lot of moving around in the case where a person holds tickets for different matches in different stadiums. Luckily for the football fans, public transport is available during the match days from the stadiums using metro train, shuttles, and tramps. Other chargeable means of transport such as Uber will be available.
QATAR LAWS AND CUSTOMS Unlike in the western world, the culture of Qatari people is a bit conservative. Anyone travelling or visiting the country is expected to adhere to their laws and customs, including during the world cup season. For instance, there are strict laws that prohibit unlicensed sale of Alcohol in the country. And on the flip side, only licensed people over the age of 21 are permitted to buy and drink alcohol. In Qatar, it is considered an offense to be drunk in public. Qatari customs do not allow photographing people in public without their consent, especially Qatari women. And for women visiting Qatar, conservative dress codes should be maintained when in public places or while visiting government facilities. Women wear decent clothes that cover the shoulders and the knees. Couples walking and enjoying the world cup and beautiful sceneries in Qatar should be aware that displaying public affection in public is considered an offense.
TOURING OPPORTUNITIES Dreaming big is limitless, even for a small Gulf country such as Qatar. Many preparations have been made to host a targeted number of 1.5 million visitors during the matches. Apart from the outstanding football stadiums, there are a number of places to visit while visiting Qatar which include the cultural Souq Waqif, Katara Cultural Village, the National Museum, Chorniche and Villagio mall among others.
Fifa Wordcup Qatar 2022 Branded Buses
78 | CONVO MAGAZINE
ABERDARE GARDEN & RESORT KARATINA
MODERN
LUXURY HOTEL BOOK NOW
+254 751 686014