April2016

Vol 2 • Issue 4 • April 2016

THE SLOW PAINFUL EMASCULINIZATION OF THE AMERICAN MALE

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10 MANLIEST DOGS

WHY SOME DOGS HATE MEN AND BEARDS REAL MEN & PETS. REALLY NAKD.

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FROM THE PUBLISHER For some men it’s a dog or a cat or fish. For some men it’s a car or motorcycle. For some it’s their lawn or garden. No matter the creature, object, or hobby, it seems all men have a pet.

As I humbly struggle to stagger through this life I’ve decided it’s punishment for being a naughty pet in the last. Perhaps I ate the canary or chewed a shoe, whatever I did I’m determined to make it up to the Pet God who was so displeased.

I look at our pet, an adorable Poodle/Japanese Chin hybrid, and am absolutely convinced paradise exists, it is here on earth, and can be reached by only the most patient and loving souls. She seems to know only joy - with the occational irritation at some annoying neighbor daring to come near our territory.

Guysers Gaystay

I look at the horse in the field and see contentment in his ability to bask in the sun all day, slowly chomping on whatever is available to eat, and dashing about randomly when the mood strikes.

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I look at the fish in the tank and see simplicity defined.

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Then I look at my car and imbue it with all the masculinity I wish I contained. Such power waiting to be unleashed. Sleek lines hinting at the grip it has on the road. Forward leaning pose yearning to leap out from under my scrawney ass to pounce on the next beautiful man crossing its bumper.

That’s really what a pet is, isn’t it? A recepticle of our ideal selfimage - our ideal life. Should we really examine our pet’s lives in to much detail we would probably recoil in horror at our Machiavelian tendancies. However, our pet (whatever that happens to be) generously becomes what we need them to be. Our dog is the happiest and most attentive entertainer we could ask for and my car is a mobile phallus symbol... a gigantic phallus!

And for all our pets do for us they wouldn’t be our pets without the constant adoration, attention, and care we give them. Some people don’t understand our choice in pets. Some people don’t agree it is a “proper” pet. Then again, some people don’t understand what it is to be a Real man attempting to mirror perfection in the most NAKd way possible - in our pets.

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Publisher: Troy Ozarowicz Art Direction: Paul Streubel http://magazine.nakd.life magazine@nakd.life • This digital magazine is interactive.

• It is embedded with hyperlinks.

• Touch or click areas to open a URL. NAKd.life is about social responsibility and personal wellness focused on celebrating men as they are. NAKd is about more than not wearing clothes but exposing an authentic self in spite of what is expected.

Real men. Really NAKd. With great articles, information, NAKd men, reader submitted stories and inspiring photographs we aim to provide our readers with what they need to be part of a community of men. We welcome all generations of men as we continue to expand our readership to include all men everywhere. We always encourage our readers to add to this publication. If you have anything you want to see published, submit it for consideration. Please be sure to credit any sources if the material is not your own.

All content within the pages of this digital magazine were either submitted by the public or found within the public domain. All efforts were made to preserve copyright and credit to sources. Any errors due to editing are solely our own and are not to be read as a statement of any kind on the original content creator or the content itself.

NAKd.life Magazine • www.magazine.nakd.life • 3

I’d be happy to inaugurate the program by helping cook and serve lunch to the inmates.”

IF LOUISIANA PRISONS GO VEGAN,

PAM ANDERSON WILL SERVE LUNCH HERSELF

by Michelle Kretzer

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A

s newly elected Louisiana Gov. John Bel Edwards works to fix the state’s budget crisis, PETA Honorary Director Pamela Anderson is presenting him with an idea that will save money, protect the environment, and make the state healthier.

Since Louisiana is the “prison capital of the world,”

Edwards could save more than half a million dollars a year by serving healthy, colorful vegan meals in correctional facilities— and that’s not including how much the state would save on prisoners’ healthcare costs.

As Pam explained in her letter to the governor: If you left meat off menus in the 12 state-run prisons, Louisiana taxpayers would save as much as $620,000

a year. Beans, rice, lentils, pasta, potatoes and other vegetables, and oranges and other fruits have all the nutrients a person needs but at a fraction of the price of meats and cheeses. There would also be enormous savings on freezer costs and spoilage, since most vegan foods and ingredients can be shipped and stored without refrigeration.

And as an added incentive: If Louisiana follows

Arizona’s lead in switching to meat-free meals in jail, I’d be happy to inaugurate the program by helping cook and serve lunch to the inmates.

Will Louisiana inmates soon be dining crueltyfree with C.J. Parker? It’s Gov. Edwards’ move.

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MEET PIPER

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Refresh Strawberry Basil Margarita Ingredients: • • • •

1 can (12 oz) frozen limeade concentrate 10 strawberries 8 basil leaves 2 to 2 1/2 cups tequila

Directions: Empty the limeade concentrate into a pitcher. Add 2 1/2 cans of water and 1 1/2 (18 ounces, or 2 1/4 cups) cans of tequila (or a bit less, if you don’t want your drinks to be quite as strong).

Hull the strawberries, slice lengthwise, and add to the pitcher.

Crumple the basil a little in your hands (this will help the basil flavor release into the drink) and add it to the pitcher, too.

Place the pitcher, covered, in the fridge overnight, or for at least four hours.

When you remove the pitcher from the fridge, your margaritas will be a lovely pale pink color. Now all you have to do is serve them and wait for the compliments to pour in.

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NAKd.life Magazine • www.magazine.nakd.life • 9

SUBMISSION

ever farts again. Yep, we are no longer men. In fact, we are no longer heterosexual. We are metrosexual.

In our Dad’s day, we brushed our teeth, combed our hair and splashed on after-shave. Today, we use Clinique! We use Pantine to give our hair body and bounce and cream rinse conditioner to give it shine. Now that’s butch. As we all know, shiny hair is the definition of a real man.

Add to that, we use Dove for Men with three quarters moisturizer to make our skin soft and supple. We use a facial scrub to minimize our pores, under eye cream to prevent premature aging and skin conditioners with 50% sunscreen to avoid the damaging effects of the sun. And that’s when it’s raining.

Lately, things have progressed to a level unfathomable by our forefathers. Now, we pay for laser hair removal to eliminate the hair around our sphincters and spend five hundred dollars per treatment to have our assholes bleached to appear pink. If you ask me, the only asshole here is the guy who lets someone bleach his asshole!

As much as I’d like to blame women for this phenomenon, I can’t. I blame guys with a PhD. You know, the ones who work for universities and do “studies”. Despite the fact that PhD’s shouldn’t be allowed to cross the street by themselves, they do make a small fortune doing stupid things like conducting studies, so how dumb could they be? Years ago, I read a study that said that women prefer a man with little or no body hair. This started an entire trend of healthy American males shaving their chests, waxing their backs, having electrolysis on their shoulders and upper arms and using lasers on their butts. This, of course, supports what I call “The Pussy Theory”. PhD’s are yet to discover this, but it’s true. To the male mind it’s a very equation: “I must have pussy, therefore…” That leads to an inner conflict with the male of the species.

Chest hair? Pussy? Chest hair? Pussy? Guess which one won.

You know who else I blame? The fashion industry. That’s right. I blame Valentino. I blame Armani. I blame Perry Ellis and Prada and Michael Kors (well, not Michael Kors. He can’t

help himself). But I do blame Heidi Klum and Nina Garcia, they’re in on this, too.

It used to be that men had a choice. They could buy Old Spice after shave or Hai Karate aftershave. Now, every designer out there has a line of fragrances “pour hommes” to make men smell like French whores while we pluck our public hair and moisturize our elbows. I’m surprised no one has come out with a line of perfumed anal douche with men in mind. I shouldn’t say that too loud, or you know someone will.

I also blame Hollywood. Sensing the trend and always eager to make a buck, they have prepackaged the male mystique into movie stars like Magic Mike who haven’t got a single hair on their bodies and whose abs look like they came from a store.

THE SLOW, PAINFUL EMASCULATION

OF THE AMERICAN MALE

BY T DAVIS

Y

ou must have felt it; like someone taking a butter knife to your balls. It starts right after birth with circumcision and progresses past puberty (“No, no! Mustn’t touch yourself ‘down there’.

Bad. Dirty. No.” Where have we heard that before?). Then, there were all those stories about how masturbation will make you go blind. Alright, I wear glasses, so that’s partially true.

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You would think that manhood would allow more male freedom, at least the freedom to whack off whenever you want, but no. Like an invisible chastity device our peckers are encased in a moral code so steep and so strong no one would ever admit publically that we’ve ever taken matters into our own hands whenever the need (or our dicks) arises.

“No, no. Bad. Dirty!”

To make matters worse, we have been systematically made

to feel ashamed of our bodies and bodily functions even more than we are ashamed of our penises. Body order is bad – the deodorant industry is a multi-million dollar business. Sweat, no matter how hard we work or how hard we work out, is a social faux pas.

Deodorants now have timereleased capsules to make sure we never work up a sweat.

Those deodorant people think of everything. And ‘Beano’ was invented to make sure no one

...yes, I shaved my balls. Funny, they don’t look any bigger. They just itch like crazy...”

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Let’s compare and contrast, shall we? Remember Robert Redford? Blond hair, perfect face and enough chest hair to make him look like he was wearing a mohair suit. Next came Brad Pitt, who could have been Redford’s son, with the same blond hair and the same perfect face, and a body that’s as bald as a baby’s bottom. Remember Sean Connery in 007? Again, thick, dark chest hair that reeked of manliness. Then came Tom Cruise, who could have been Connery’s illegitimate son, except that his c h e s t looked like a cancer patient a f t e r months of chemo t h e r a p y.

And why?

B ec a u s e s o m e PhD said so. I refer you to my Pussy Theory in Chapter One. Now, you would think that being nudists (if you are reading this you’re either a nudist or too lazy to get dressed), we would be exempt from the influences of the fashion world and of Hollywood, and even of PhD’s and their studies. But no.

I’m fortunate enough to live someplace where the weather is always warm and the sky is always sunny and there’s a nude beach within driving dis-

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tance. Taking off my clothes is always a pleasure. Swimming naked is always a joy. And I don’t care how straight you are, everyone checks out the competition. You can imagine my shock and awe when I discovered that every man on that beach had shaved his balls.

Everyone except me, that is. I fall into the “too lazy” category of nudism.

Being curious by nature, I asked this older gentleman who was sunning himself on the blanket

next to mine about his shaved testicles. “Yo. So. What’s the deal with your nuts?” I asked.

I’m so subtle.

“Shaving them makes them look bigger,” he explained.

‘Bullshit,’ I thought. ‘The Pussy Theory, even in the nude.’

There is one exception to The Pussy Theory that should be obvious to everyone. The gay community. I was in New York on business recently, meeting with my publisher about my

upcoming book of short stories.

My editor took me to lunch at a charming, little bistro in Greenwich Village to seal the deal. The Village has long been sacred ground for the gays since before the Stonewall riots, and one of the few places where you can be openly gay and no one gives a shit. That’s when I discovered them: real men.

They are called “Bears”. They have chest hair. They have big bellies. They walk around celebrating their masculinity, flaunting it in the faces of metrosexual men like me with shaved b a l l s (yes, I shaved my balls.

F u n n y, t h e y d o n ’ t look any b i g g e r.

They just itch like crazy).

B u t these men, these real men, Bears, made me and my editor feel like sissy school girls with slightly over-developed clitorises.

They had on flannel shirts with cut-off sleeves over cotton Jockey t-shirts with breast pockets. We wore over-priced, business casual, designer suits and Bruno Magli loafers.

They ate fat-filled cheeseburgers and greasy fries. My editor had the Chicken Kiev, while I

had the garden salad with the dressing on the side.

They finished their beers, then ordered dessert. We sipped white wine and waved the waiter away when he even mentioned the dessert tray. My

steel blades – one to pull the hair up and the other to chop it off at the skin line. And it’s not to make us look cleaner and it’s not to make us more comfortable, it’s to make us more feminine looking. God forbid we

editor was on a gluten-free diet and I was watching my waistline.

To make matters even worse, at the end of the meal, one of the Bears belched. No apologies. No “pardon me”. Just a loud beer burp and that was that. You know you’re in trouble when you’re the most feminine guy in the gay bar – and we were in trouble.

To prove my point, go to your medicine cabinet right now. You heard me. Right now. Examine what is inside. Move past the expensive bottles of skin care lotions and vitamin B oils and reach for your razor. That’s right, your razor. You either have an electric one with three rotary heads for a closer shave, or a manual one with two titanium

should have five o’clock shadow like one of the Bears. When did this happen?

Another case in point is plastic surgery. Once reserved for women, and mostly Hollywood starlets at that, men are now freely partaking in the youth obsessed, feminine version of beauty. I mean, Botox was bad enough! Have you seen Kenny Rogers lately? He’s had his eyes done, his face lifted and God knows what else, and he’s not only a legend, he’s a country-western singer. True, he shouldn’t have gone to Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon (Ken, what were you thinking?) but my point is, he’s a gambler and an icon and a man’s man. If you can’t count on a countrywestern singer to be a male

role model, who can you count on? Bears, I suppose, but that’s about it.

It’s time to fight back. It’s time to reclaim our manhood. It’s time to clean out the medicine cabinet, cancel our lifetime membership to L. A. Fitness, stop plucking and pampering and shaving and douching, and start belching and farting and scratching our balls and be men again. I don’t care what the PhD’s say.

Women want to be bent over, grabbed by the hair and taken by a real man. They want to be ravished and bitten and licked.

They want a man whose penis is engorged with blood and dripping pre-cum, and they want to know that they are the ones who are doing that to us. That’s the part of The Pussy Theory the PhD’s left out.

Come on, guys, are you with me?

Strip naked right now. Let your chest hair grow out. Burn the Brooks Brothers button down broadcloth and bury your blow dryer in the bottom of your baby blue, Martha Stewart Bath Collection, sanitized garbage pail. Be men! Or, at least, don’t shave your balls like I did. They still itch like crazy.

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Sweet Meyer Lemon Bars

Ingredients: Crust: • • • •

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 cup powdered sugar pinch of salt 8 Tbls unsalted butter, cut into 8 pieces

Filling: • • • • • • • •

7 large egg yolks 2 large eggs 1 cup + 2 Tbls sugar 2/3 cup meyer lemon juice finely grated zest from the lemons 1/2 teaspoon salt 4 Tbls unsalted butter, cut in to 4 pieces 3 Tbls heavy cream

For the crust:

Cover a 9-inch square cake pan with two sheets of heavy duty aluminum foil, perpendicular to each other. Spray with nonstick cooking spray and set aside.

Put the flour, powdered sugar and salt in a food processor and process briefly, about 2 seconds. Add the butter pieces and process to blend, 8 to 10 seconds, then process until the mixture is pale yellow and resembles coarse meal, about three 1-second pulses. Sprinkle the mixture into the prepared cake pan and press firmly with your fingers into an even layer over the entire pan bottom. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Heat the oven to 350 degrees. Bake the crust until golden brown, about 25 minutes.

For the filling:

In a medium saucepan whisk together the egg yolks and whole eggs until combined. Add the sugar, meyer lemon juice, zest and salt until well combined, about 30 seconds.

Add the butter pieces and cook over medium-low heat, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, until the curd thickens to a thin sauce-like consistency (about 170 degrees on an instant-read thermometer), about 6 minutes.

Immediately pour the curd through a fine-mesh steel strainer set over a medium bowl. Stir in the heavy cream and then pour the curd into the warm crust.

Bake until the filling is shiny and opaque and the center 3 inches jiggle slightly when shaken, about 10 minutes.

Cool on a wire rack to room temperature, about 45 minutes. Remove the bars from the pan and transfer to a cutting board. Cut into 2 inch squares, wiping the knife blade clean between cuts as necessary. Sieve powdered sugar over the bars, if you'd like.

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TOP PICKS FOR SMALL FARM ANIMALS

BY AMY GRISAK

training.

Shearing is the challenge.

“Sheep need sheared or they’re just miserable,” Cummins says.

The tough part in some areas of the country is finding someone to do it, particularly for just a handful of sheep.

As for goats, Cummins says, “I had pygmies. Those things are

and long-eared Nubians are excellent milk producers. Goats are great additions to a small homestead. “I’ve never seen one housetrained,” says Cummins, “but they’re a lot of fun.” For goats you might want to add places to climb for cheap entertainment as their antics are hilarious.

W

hen you think of pets, do you automatically think cats, dogs, and maybe a hamster or guinea pig? While many of us who live away from farmlands don’t consider owning more than small size pets, there are a growing number of people who want to include other small “farm” animals on their property.

Sometimes referred to as “micro-livestock,” these small animals can be accommodated in both urban and suburban areas on small parcels of land. Animals are part of a healthy ecosystem regardless of the property size. They eat excess garden waste, give us fresh ingredients for the kitchen, and supply manure for a robust garden.

Check out these small, yet useful, animals: You don’t have to have hundreds of acres to keep animals on your place. Rabbits don’t take up much space. Nor do chickens or goats for that matter. But since every animal has its benefits, limitations, and specific care requirements, take a few minutes to map out your options so you don’t end up being the livestock version of the “crazy cat lady.”

The best way to start your research is to ask those who are knee deep in manure and love it.

Josh Pecukonis is well-known in central Montana for raising heritage Navaho-Churro sheep, as well as rabbits, and a myriad of fowl. Another small animal veteran is Carol Cummins of Copley, Ohio. She’s raised everything from emus to cows for decades on just 3 acres.

Sheep and Goats

These are ideal for someone looking for a countrified pet or small livestock that yields milk, fiber, or meat. They don’t require an elaborate set up for shelter, nor an excessive amount of attention.

It is best to have more than one since they’re herd animals, but even a pair isn’t much work.

“You really don’t need a lot of room,” says Pecukonis. “It really depends on the climate, but a lot of people can have them in their back-

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yard.” “They’re not as much work as a dog,” points out Cummins.

And compared to a horse or cow, she says, “If you’re only keeping one, it is infinitely cheaper feed and hay wise.” Plus, they’re not picky on their forage.

Even though you still need to deworm, vaccinate, trim hooves, and other maintenance, it’s far easier on sheep and goats versus a larger animal. Most people can do it themselves. Castration might be taking it a little far for some folks, but it is possible with proper

amazing if you want a pet. They were the hardiest breed I’ve ever seen. I’ve never had major problems with hooves or illness.”

While sheep are fairly docile and will allow you to be a bit lax on your fencing skills, goats won’t cut you slack. “Pygmy goats are devious little buggers,” she laughs. They found ways out of her fence that would impress Houdini. Both sheep and goats are content with a place out of the wind and the weather, as well as a pasture to graze.

There are breeds for every purpose. The Angora goat is best known for giving us cashmere from its soft undercoat. Boers are for meat. And the LaMancha

Chickens and Ducks

If you’re looking for “real” chicken for your freezer, Cummins recommends broilers. “It’s the best-tasting chicken you’ve ever had in your life,” she says, “They’re fabulous tasting, but they are not pets. They grow like crazy. You always keep food in front of them.” An ample amount of chicken manure is the obvious result. If you want it for the garden, you’ll be in heaven. If not, you have to be creative on how to handle it.

Pecukonis’s favorite is the ‘Silver Penciled’ Hamburg breed. “They’re a very appealing heritage breed, and are super layers,” he says. They’ll produce

eggs years after many modern layers are done, which is an important consideration for those who want chickens for eggs. What will you do with them after their egg-laying days are done? It’s perfectly fine to keep them until they die of natural causes, but it’s best to decide before your coop turns into a nursing home for hens.

A standard feed mix with oyster shell (for the layers) is adequate for your flock. And never throw kitchen waste away again. Chickens eat everything from carrot tops to meat scraps. They also forage well, which keeps down your feed bill.

Ducks are just plain fun.

Cummins says one of her favorite duck breeds is the Peking. “They were easy keepers because you can train them,” she says. She’d open the door of the coop, call them, and they’d come marching out in a single file.

Besides being a Christmas dinner, ducks are the best way to keep pests out of your garden since they nibble slugs with relish.

All fowl need protection from predators. Cummins keeps hers in a stall with outside access.

The run is completely caged top to bottom. “A raccoon or possum have all night to find their way in,” she says. Think like a predator when you build.

Keeping small livestock is a way to liven up your animal world, and very well can keep you in eggs, meat, fiber, or at least lend a beak managing pests in the garden.

Pecukonis says, “It’s a nice way to get back to country roots.”

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WOULD YOU TAKE YOUR POOCH TO THIS HOT & NAKED DOG TRAINER? Want to train your pooch to be obedient while enjoying the eye candy of his hot and naked dog trainer?

Thanks to Monica and Wolfgang Muller’s ‘Naked Trutch’ dog lessons, you can kill two birds with one stone.

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VICTORY! CANADA TO END YEAR-LONG POISONING TESTS ON DOGS

U

pdate: Following discussions with PETA’s scientists, Health Canada is ending its requirement that year-long tests on dogs be conducted by industry to study pesticide effects. Dogs used in these cruel tests were forced to eat pesticide-laced food or inhale pesticide fumes every day for a year before being killed and dissected. PETA provided evidence that these poisoning tests do not produce data that protect humans. PETA campaigned against these tests in the U.S., which were ended in 2007.

The discussions with Health Canada began in May 2014. Agency staff acknowledged PETA’s role in focusing attention on the issue and providing information that contributed to this informed, lifesaving decision.

PETA estimates that Canada’s decision will prevent hundreds of dogs from undergoing these extremely painful and deadly tests. PETA continues to urge Japan and South Korea—which still require the test—to follow the lead of the U.S., European Union, Canada, and other countries that have made the humane and progressive decision to end year-long testing on dogs. Of course, we will also keep working to get dogs and other animals out of all pesticide testing, so stay tuned for updates.

Dogs Spared the Misery of Pesticide Testing After corresponding with PETA, regulatory bodies in countries throughout the world are working to change their requirements that dogs be fed pesticides for a full year in painful and deadly toxicity tests.

Until recently, most countries required one-year tests in dogs to study the toxicity of pesticides.

The dogs are forced to ingest pesticides daily then are killed and dissected. But these cruel year-long tests have been going on for years, and there is an extensive database of results

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showing that they are of no use. So PETA has been working with government regulatory agencies across the globe to eliminate them wherever possible.

And we’re making great strides. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the European Union eliminated the one-year test, and Brazil is asking for public comment on eliminating it as well. Australia will allow companies to waive it, and India and China do not require it. Japan, South Korea, and Canada have agreed to reconsider their regulations.

Next, PETA plans to work with Russia, Turkey, and countries in Southeast Asia.

EPA to Accept Non-Animal Tests In other exciting progress, PETA scientists and other stakehold-

ers met with the EPA’s Office of Pesticide Programs, and the agency has committed to taking steps to allow non-animal methods for acute toxicity testing of pesticides.

Acute systemic toxicity tests involve forcing animals to eat, inhale, or absorb chemicals through their skin to see how much of a given chemical it takes to kill 50 percent of them. They may experience severe abdominal pain, diarrhea, convulsions, seizures, paralysis, and bleeding from the nose, mouth, and genitals before they die. Other acute topical toxicity tests involve smearing chemicals into rabbits’ eyes or onto their shaved skin or repeatedly exposing mice or guinea pigs to test chemicals and recording the extent to which the chemicals irritate their skin and eyes.

But modern testing methods

use cell cultures or computer modeling to predict acute toxicity. These tests are accurate, humane, readily available, and already in use by several countries that have banned animal tests for cosmetics. Thanks to its supporters, PETA continues to work to reduce and eliminate the use of animals in laboratories around the world.

Health Canada is ending its requirement that year-long tests on dogs be conducted by industry to study pesticide effects.”

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Watch The Secret Lives of Pets Taking place in a Manhattan apartment building, Max’s life as a favorite pet is turned upside down, when his owner brings home a sloppy mongrel named Duke. They have to put their quarrels behind when they find out that an adorable white bunny named Snowball is building an army of abandoned pets determined to take revenge on all happy-owned pets and their owners.

The NEXT GNI Gathering will be held August 19 – 28, 2016.

Discover the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania, in the buff, in a rustic summer camp setting.

Starring: Louis C.K., Eric Stonestreet, Kevin Hart, Ellie Kemper, Lake Bell, Jenny Slate, Bobby Moynihan, Hannibal Buress and Albert Brooks.

With up to 800 guests, our flagship annual Gathering is the world’s largest all-nude event. It’s open to all gay, bisexual, and gay-friendly men who are at least 21 and a current member of GNI.

Learn more @

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NAKd.life Magazine • www.magazine.nakd.life • 23

My dog Ginger (Rott/Mastiff rescue) is generally a very loving dog with my husband and I, however when visitors come, particularly men but especially men with facial hair, she flips out. Barks and is very nervous/fearful.

We’ve tried having the new visitor give her treats and introduce calmly but more times than not she will bark incessantly. She has not bitten anyone but obviously we are afraid she will one day. We’ve had her since she was 8 weeks old and always had visitors without any issue till she was about 8-10 months old. There is no known trigger – no incident that would have “turned her”. Any advice you can provide would be godsend!”

So far so good. You’ve observed Ginger’s behaviors and narrowed down her fear to (1) visitors, (2) visitors who are men, and (3) visitors who are men who have beards. Excellent work. In training and behavior terms, those are Ginger’s “triggers.”

And since who dogs are is made up of both their experiences and their genetics, there is not always an event or experience that “turns” or changes dogs. Dogs continue to mature socially up until they’re about 2 years old. During that time especially their personalities continue to change – just like people’s do.

Now to get a bit of handle on this, I have a couple of ideas

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WHY SOME DOGS HATE MEN (AND BEARDS)

BY MICHIGAN HUMANE SOCIETY

and YES, we’ll need to go slow and be careful. We do not want to ever put Ginger into a position where she feels so overwhelmed she bites.

So first, we’ll start with the lowest level stressor and work our way “up.” Distance and timing are our keys to success here combined with LOTS of awesome treats from YOU (not from the visitor). That way, Ginger can be far enough away to be comfortable.

Eventually you’ll be able to get closer, but not for a while.

Remember only reward her when she’s comfortable, i.e. not barking. If she’s barking you’re too close.

Now, I know this is odd…but I’m also thinking…how would your

husband feel about growing a beard? If Ginger’s good with him (although you say “generally”…which worries me a bit) it might be interesting for him to grow a beard – to help teach her bearded people can be nice too. Certainly dealing with significant levels of fear is hard on your family and your dog and could potentially – as you mentioned – become dangerous.

Consider contacting a qualified veterinary behaviorist for assistance. An excellent booklet called Cautious Canine by Patricia McConnell, Phd can help provide you with solid guidelines as well. You can order the booklet from Amazon. The most important thing here is to help Ginger and keep everyone safe.

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TOP 10

MANLY DOGS

BY ANDREW CHOMIK

They don’t call them man’s best friend for nothing.

9. HUSKY

The Alaskan Husky is not so much a breed or a type as much as it falls into its own category, that of traditionally being a sled dog. Majestic in their presence (deep chest and muscular all around) and durable by nature, the Husky is part and parcel of being out in the wild -- and that truth becomes vividly clear when you consider that these manly dogs have a strain of genes from one of the most well-known carnivores -- the wolf.

Huskies are extremely adaptable and love pushing their bodies to the limit. Huskies are natural competitors and they need lots of activity, which makes them less-than-desirable urban dogs. However, they are excellent in the country and they can also tussle with anyone who tries to mess with their owner. Reliability and durability are the Husky’s defining traits.

Intelligence: 7 Personality: 4 Physical presence: 8

8. ENGLISH MASTIFF

The word “mastiff” evolved from the English word “masty,” which meant powerful. That should be enough indication that this dog means business. Centuries ago, these manly dogs were used in the sport of bear baiting in England; that’s because they were one of the strongest breeds, able to stand up to one of nature’s most vicious beasts.

The English Mastiff is a broad, thickly built canine that has come to represent most of the breeds within the Molosser type. Their powerful bodies are only eclipsed by their trademark patience, grace and displays of undying loyalty to their owners -- no matter the stranger, the Mastiff will only approve if the owner approves first.

Intelligence: 6 Personality: 6 Physical presence: 7

10. BULLDOG

7. CANE CORSO

Taking a turn toward a smaller breed, the Bulldog is a pint-sized tough guy, or at least they’re designed to look that way. This dog looks like a mix of a pug and a Mastiff. Bulldogs can look simultaneously peeved and happy, and they have lovable and quirky personalities that are a significant departure from the other manly dogs seen here.

Having a Bulldog as a pet is a surefire way to win friends and impress women; their bullish looks and saggy skin folds provide lots of laughs and their relatively poor conditioning, due to their heavyset, makes for some hilarious outings at the park when tossing a stick around. Still, they are just as dedicated to their territory as any other breed, and their dedicated companionship and ability to inspire are perfect reasons for their use as the official mascot of the U.S. Marine Corps.

This dog has a physical presence unmatched by medium-sized dogs; this is an extremely muscular breed that is blessed with a brilliant coat. Their athleticism is their most defining feature, which is likely owed to their Italian roots as farming, hunting and gaming dogs that were also considered reliable and trustworthy.

The strong, silent type, these dogs are definitely only for a specific type of owner; one who is gentle, subtle and willing to put in the effort to earn the Corso’s trust. Not the best dog to bring around strangers and children (unless they’ve been brought up in a family environment), but when raised properly, Corsos are able to remain well-behaved around many types of people and generally pacifist around other canines. These dogs need the gentle approach because of their cautious instincts, but they easily personify what it takes to be on this list of manly dogs.

Intelligence: 5 Personality: 8 Physical presence: 4

Intelligence: 5 Personality: 5 Physical presence: 9

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6. DOBERMAN PINSCHER

3. BLOODHOUND

The Doberman pinscher is probably one of the most easily recognizable manly dogs around, partly because of the media coverage they receive. Like the German Shepherd, they were often used for police work, hunting and general laboring, but have since become more domesticated for the normal owner. The Doberman is also visually stunning as it’s one of the most muscular dogs and one of the most agile and versatile.

Surprisingly, Dobermans are much more docile, intelligent and friendlier than they’re perceived. They can easily be mistaken as nasty guard dogs with a sharp bite, but only if provoked in an aggressive manner by an unassuming stranger. When these dogs are properly socialized, they become loyal and offer a great mix of protection, personality and manliness.

Famous for having personable faces that kids and adults have loved for decades, the special skills of these dogs is not their strength or speed, but their uncanny ability to follow a scent, which makes them an ideal companion for hunting. It is said that Bloodhounds can detect the scent of only a few skin cells, and will be persistent in capturing its prey for hours -- even days.

Beyond their hunting abilities, these are big, graceful dogs with a physical presence that can also provide a few laughs with their excessive drooling and sometimes clumsy delivery. It may sometimes feel like you have to make a pact with these dogs for them to behave; Bloodhounds can be stubborn unless they get what they want, so take the tongue-in-cheek approach with them and it’ll be gravy.

Their ability to strategize as well as use their impeccable instincts makes them an easy manly choice.

Intelligence: 5 Personality: 5 Physical presence: 9

Intelligence: 8 Personality: 6 Physical presence: 8

5. ROTTWEILER

2. BLACK LABRADOR

Rottweilers are much maligned by the media, but they’re often less aggressive and unstable as they’re made out to be if brought up with the right training and with exposure to many different people, situations and environments.

Much of their manliness comes from the same attitude that defines the human male; their natural desire to assert a level of dominance. When given property or something to call their own, Rottweilers will fiercely defend it, and that includes their young, their owner and their favorite chew toy. Their stoic nature can instantly turn into a snapping bite, so strangers should approach cautiously.

Still, while Rottweilers are often misunderstood and considered too manly, they can be lovable and social.

The black Labrador, and Labrador retrievers in general, are an instant favorite for owners of manly dogs. The Labrador is a broad-headed, thick-necked pooch with a water resistant coat who is always charming people with his intelligent facial expressions. More interesting, however, are the black Lab’s webbed feet, which these Canadian-originating dogs used to swim around in icy waters and drag nets to shore after leaping off fishermen’s boats.

Labs have since been domesticated further, but they still hold true to their retriever name; they’re naturally inclined to fetch most things on command. Dog personalities don’t come much more humanized than these pooches, and Labs are very receptive and responsive to family, kids, friends, and strangers.

Intelligence: 6 Personality: 6 Physical presence: 7

Intelligence: 8 Personality: 8 Physical presence: 8

4. GERMAN SHEPHERD

These manly dogs have unfortunately been cast as utilitarian animals; you can’t watch television without seeing them in action as a bomb-sniffing, drug-searching, criminal-chasing do-it-alls.

Gorgeous and confident, they are also both proud and modest. They have the size of a large dog that intimidates (usually 60 pounds to 90 pounds), but they also have a heartwarming affection and loyalty for their owners and the people they know.

They are fiercely territorial and make great guard dogs for people and property. Their confidence is only matched by their agility and durability, and so these dogs are great companions if you’re an active individual.

Intelligence: 6 Personality: 5 Physical presence: 9

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1. RHODESIAN RIDGEBACK

Never heard of this beast before? That might be because you’ve heard of their alternate name instead, the African Lion Dog. These dogs were also built to last; they have tick-resistant coats, tight paw pads to overcome thorns and thistles, and they’re intelligent and muscular enough to challenge and avoid predators, including snakes and crocodiles. Beyond that, these dogs are fair and rational in their temperament; they will not foolishly attack or become enraged without a severe and persistent threat present. Historically, they’ve also been great guard dogs, loyal defenders of their owners and his families, and even able to round up cattle.

Perhaps it doesn’t have the same physical threatening size as other breeds, but its sheer resilience, intelligence and tenacity make this dog the manliest of them all.

Intelligence: 10 Personality: 8 Physical presence: 10

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Trends Masculine Bedroom Spaces

Sample Color Pallettes

Enigmatic or minimalist, rustic or industrial, a man’s bedroom is the place where a lifestyle emerges. Choosing to surround yourself with fragments of your life gives your friends the opportunity to get to know you better.

The bedroom is where it all begins; when we’re well rested, our perception shifts and we observe clearly, we enjoy life more passionately and we love more deeply.

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Listen Wide Awake Parachute

Read All Creatures Great & Small

by James Herriot For over forty years, generations of readers have thrilled to Herriot’s marvelous tales, deep love of life, and extraordinary storytelling abilities.

For decades, Herriot roamed the remote, beautiful Yorkshire Dales, treating every patient that came his way from smallest to largest, and observing animals and humans alike with his keen, loving eye.

Biography: Parachute is an American pop rock band from Charlottesville, Virginia.[1] Originally formed in 2006, they released their major label debut album Losing Sleep in 2009, their second album The Way It Was in 2011 and their third album, Overnight, in 2013.

The band’s upcoming fourth album, Wide Awake, was released on March 11, 2016

In All Creatures Great and Small, we meet the young Herriot as he takes up his calling and discovers that the realities of veterinary practice in rural Yorkshire are very different from the sterile setting of veterinary school.

Some visits are heart-wrenchingly difficult, such as one to an old man in the village whose very ill dog is his only friend and companion, some are lighthearted and fun, such as Herriot’s periodic visits to the overfed and pampered Pekinese Tricki Woo who throws parties and has his own stationery, and yet others are inspirational and enlightening, such as Herriot’s recollections of poor farmers who will scrape their meager earnings together to be able to get proper care for their working animals. From seeing to his patients in the depths of winter on the remotest homesteads to dealing with uncooperative owners and critically ill animals, Herriot discovers the wondrous variety and never-ending challenges of veterinary practice as his humor, compassion, and love of the animal world shine forth.

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Savor Fish en Papillote People often ask me the best way to ensure that you don’t overcook a fish. The answer is to use my secret weapon: parchment paper. When you are cooking a fish in parchment, there’s no worry about it sticking to the grill, cleanup is a breeze, and the parchment seals in moisture and flavor. Plus, there’s a sort of Zen to folding the fish within the paper.

Ingredients: • • • • • • • •

naktiv.net

16 asparagus spears, trimmed 1 inch from the ends 4 (6-ounce) cod fillets 1 lemon, sliced into 4 rounds 1 teaspoon kosher salt 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper ¼ cup lemon juice (about 3 lemons) 4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 4 sprigs fresh thyme

Preparation: 1. Preheat the oven to 350˚F. 2. Lay out 1 large sheet (about 16 by 12 inches) of parchment paper. Place 4 asparagus spears in the center of the paper, then 1 fish fillet on top, then a slice of lemon. Season with salt and pepper, 1 tablespoon of lemon juice, 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, and 1 sprig of thyme.

3. Fold over the ends of the paper to enclose the fish.* Place on a baking sheet. Repeat with remaining fish.

4. Bake in the oven for about 12 to 15 minutes, or until fish reaches 130˚F to 135˚F on a thermometer.

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Visit Mykonos, Greece

While the uncertainties of Greece’s economy and the ongoing migrant crisis might have dampened the desire of some travelers to plan an Aegean holiday, the party never stopped on Mykonos. In fact, this past season saw an unprecedented number of openings on the hotel, spa and restaurant fronts.

The attention-grabbing arrival for 2016 looks to be a second hotel from Bill & Coo; this one, Bill & Coo Coast, will have 15 rooms on 21⁄2 coastal acres just outside of Mykonos town. It will join two recent standouts: the 25-key, minimalist Mykonos Blanc, on Ornos Beach, and Mykonos No. 5, in town, whose budget-friendly 11 residential-style rooms have kitchens and terraces. New spots to see and be seen include Scorpios, a beach club on the island’s south coast featuring performance spaces and an indoor-outdoor restaurant; Buddha Bar-Beach, a seaside lounge at the recently redone Santa Marina Hotel & Villas in Ornos; and Hakkasan group’s upmarket contemporary Chinese spot Ling Ling. Plus Athens’s beloved health-food joint Nice-n-Easy just introduced good-for-you fare to the beach. When to Go: Late May through June or September, to avoid the crowds.

Click here for places to stay via Booking.com 40 • NAKd.life Magazine • www.magazine.nakd.life

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Wellness

10 HARD FACTS ABOUT YOUR HARDON HOW MUCH DO YOU REALLY KNOW ABOUT YOUR WOOD? WAIT, DON’T ANSWER THAT.

B

oners are everywhere. They happen all over the world millions of times a day; most men will experience more than 4,015 stiffies this year alone. But, despite the abundance of boners, few men know the facts.

can beat him until he blows his load, but that bad boy’s here to stay. It’s a very painful and serious condition. If you’re stiffy stays for too long, seek immediate medical attention.

1. BONERS CAN BREAK

4. BONERS ARE BOUNTIFUL

Although many mammals have actual bones in their peens, human schlongs are boneless. But, that doesn’t mean they can’t break. Rough action can result in a “penile fracture,” and it’s more common that you might think. In the United States, approximately 200 men a year suffer from a broken penis, and it’s not pretty.

You’ll hear a large crack, blood vessels explode — the whole thing turns into a big throbbing bruise and is out of order for weeks. It’s not pretty.

2. THEY HAVE A MIND OF THEIR OWN

Like your heart rate and blood pressure, your meat hammer is controlled by your autonomic nervous system. If you get turned on, the boner that follows is involuntary, which explains all the wood you had in freshmen shop class.

3. THEY CAN LAST A PAINFULLY LONG TIME

It’s called a priapism. It’s when your penis stays hard for more than four hours and refuses to go away. You

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You probably have one right now. On average, you’ll have 11 erections a day — some happen while you’re awake, while others pop in at night.

5. THERE ARE DIFFERENT TYPES OF BONERS

Seriously! Most scientists agree that there are three types of boners.

7. SPANKING THE MONKEY MAKES HIM WEAKER

Calm down! We’re not saying you need to stop buffing your banana. In fact, it can reduce your risk of prostate cancer.

But, some studies have shown that if you cut back on your alone time, your throbbin’ nob will throb even harder. You can always try prostate massages — they work famously.

8. SOME MEDICATIONS MURDER BONERS

Psychogenic: Ignited by fantasies, like the ones you have at the gym.

Reflexogenic: Produced by physical stimulation, like when you jerk.

Nocturnal: Induced when’re fast a sleep dreaming about warm lips and tight holes.

And, unfortunately, the fun meds are the boner killers. These meds include Adderall, antidepressants, diet pills, and antihistamines. So, if you can’t imagine life without your meds, you might have to say buh bye to your boner.

6. HALF YOUR HARD-ON IS HIDDEN

9. BLOWING AND GOING

Actually, half of your penis is hidden inside your body.

Here’s how to find it, the next time you’re excited feel your perineum (aka your “taint”). That’s the hidden section of your dong. Pretty cool, huh?

10. BONERS NEED EXERCISE

Ok, so we just told you not to choke the chicken, but your lil man does need exercise. Without regular stimulation your little man’s muscles will shrivel up and shrink. You could lose up to an inch in length. So, play with him often, just don’t over do it.

Reflexogenic: Produced by physical stimulation, like when you jerk.”

One man was able to blow an astonishing six loads without losing his wood, and he did it in only 36 minutes. Wow. Just wow.

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